Dogs Don't Wear Pants (2019)

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Pekka Strang as Juha • Krista Kosonen as Mona • Ilona Huhta as Elli • Jani Volanen as Pauli • Oona Airola as Satu • Iiris Anttila as Piercer • Ester Geislerová as Wife • Jani Volanen as Juha's Co-worker

Finland • Latvia • Drama • Comedy

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Daddy!

2. It bit me.

3. Mum!

4. Daddy caught a fish!

5. Elli! Go back! Go!

6. DOGS DON'T WEAR PANTS

7. Right.

8. Day off tomorrow. A game of tennis?

9. Can't make it. Got something else.

10. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ELLI!

11. THANKS FOR THE CAKE!

12. - Did you hear the music? - What?

13. No. Happy birthday.

14. Good. You shouldn't, yet.

15. - Let's go. - Wait, dad. One thing.

16. My coat's over here. Come.

17. Come on.

18. Satu!

19. He's my dad. Satu is my music teacher.

20. - Hi! Satu. - Juha.

21. Will you come to Elli's performance next week?

22. Performance?

23. Our concert. I told you about it.

24. - He's coming. - Yes, I will.

25. - I'll put a ticket aside for you. - Thanks.

26. - I'm getting my tongue pierced today. - Really? Ouch.

27. I'll bite my tongue.

28. Let's go.

29. - Nice to meet you. - Yes.

30. Likewise.

31. Bye!

32. We can still turn back.

33. Come on!

34. Stick your tongue out. Say ah.

35. Perhaps your dad should step out before we start.

36. It's a bit crowded here.

37. There's a coffeemaker round the corner.

38. Dad, go away.

39. Okay.

40. Dad?

41. Right.

42. That went well.

43. - Or did it hurt much? - No.

44. Good.

45. Right.

46. A bit different, this is.

47. We used to go to the Natural History Museum on your birthdays.

48. - I could take you there some day. - Yeah.

49. Would be fab.

50. Dad.

51. - Good night. - Good night.

52. That's so neat.

53. - Not swollen at all! - That's right.

54. When I got mine, it was so difficult to talk.

55. Show it again.

56. - That's so cool. - It's really great.

57. Elli, what's that on your tongue?

58. - Show us! - Go away.

59. - That's for blowjobs, right? - Fucking jerks.

60. - Never mind them, they're just boys. - They're stupid.

61. - That's shit cool, really. - Awesome. I want one, too.

62. If you approve tongue studs, you stifle your child's rebellion.

63. A boyfriend of mine had a piercing.

64. Some chain-ring chimaroo.

65. Down there.

66. It had a name, too.

67. I understand them in principle, on the sexual side.

68. Even that some people consider them aesthetic.

69. But from an anatomical point of view I don't think

70. that the urethra needs more than one hole.

71. Can't remember its name. I called it the Fagotto.

72. You're alive after all.

73. You like this, don't you?

74. You like this, nice boy.

75. Good boy.

76. Down!

77. Good.

78. Did you wash yourself?

79. You don't smell as bad as last time.

80. What a nice boy you are.

81. Dominatrix's pet. Are you?

82. Are you?

83. I've got a small present for you.

84. I'll leave it here by the door.

85. Thank you.

86. Hello?

87. How did you get this number?

88. Yes, I am Mona.

89. What do you want?

90. Any special requests?

91. Whipping, pissing? Strap-ons, anal stuff?

92. Nipple pinching? Electric shocks, slashing?

93. Yes.

94. Yeah.

95. I know how the heart works.

96. I've got nothing to change into.

97. - I didn't... - Silence!

98. Good boy.

99. Start panting.

100. Start panting!

101. If you want to get what you want, you obey. Got it?

102. - What's this? Pants? - I didn't...

103. Dogs don't wear pants. Take them off.

104. Off, off, off.

105. Shirt, too. Off it comes.

106. There.

107. Much better.

108. Good boy.

109. On all fours.

110. - For fuck's... - Down!

111. Good.

112. What a nice dog.

113. What a fine dog.

114. Come.

115. Down! Crawl.

116. Chop chop.

117. Dominatrix hears you've been bad.

118. You been a bad dog?

119. Say it.

120. - You've been a bad dog? - Yes.

121. Yes.

122. I've been a bad dog.

123. You need to be punished.

124. My boot is dirty. Lick it clean.

125. We never...

126. You want to be fucked, dog?

127. Clean it.

128. More!

129. Good.

130. Sit.

131. More.

132. How's your tongue?

133. It's okay.

134. I'm vegan.

135. Did you call Satu?

136. - What? - Did you call Satu?

137. - What? - About the tickets.

138. So you'll be sure to get them.

139. I'll call her.

140. - It's tomorrow. - What?

141. My performance is tomorrow.

142. You're really brave.

143. Everything's all right.

144. Just close your eyes.

145. Just breathe easy.

146. My wife's leggings. I left mine at the gym.

147. Right.

148. The doctor said my back will never mend.

149. Don't listen to those pessimists.

150. I must take this.

151. Hello.

152. Mona?

153. I'd like to see you again.

154. - Hi there. - Hi!

155. - You have it? - Yeah.

156. Here.

157. Thanks, darling.

158. What's so funny?

159. Thanks for these clothes.

160. - I wouldn't have had... - Shut up!

161. Dogs don't speak.

162. Come.

163. Why's the dog free?

164. Bad dog.

165. Get down.

166. On your hands and knees!

167. - Been a bad dog, have you? - I've...

168. Dogs don't speak. Bad boy!

169. - Don't come in! - I'm sorry. I didn't...

170. - You've got no business here. - I won't come in.

171. I didn't mean to... I just wanted to apologize.

172. I wasn't quite cognisant in there.

173. Anyway, I'm very sorry.

174. I hope that...

175. Would it be possible next time

176. to strangle me for a bit longer?

177. I passed a health check recently, my heart's all right.

178. Tomorrow all right with you?

179. Yes.

180. - Same time? - Yes.

181. Right.

182. Good.

183. Bye.

184. - Hi. - Hi!

185. - I must cancel tomorrow's customer. Will you tell him? - Sure.

186. - Aren't you coming? - I am.

187. - A different customer. - Okay.

188. Hi, Elli.

189. Today?

190. I'm coming. Yes.

191. I'm busy here at the job. Take the bus.

192. No, take the bus. See you there.

193. No time for that. See you.

194. - You going? - Got to take care of something.

195. Haven't you heard? We got us one more operation.

196. Right.

197. Hey. Juha.

198. They're waiting for us!

199. Elli's concert is tonight.

200. Down!

201. Bad dog.

202. Come!

203. Give me your paw.

204. Dirty dog.

205. Well.

206. It's clean now.

207. Heel.

208. More.

209. Strangle me some more.

210. Go downstairs, quick.

211. We need an ambulance.

212. Look at the light.

213. Smile.

214. Stick your tongue out.

215. Dad.

216. Dad, what happened?

217. - Dad! - Elli, listen.

218. I saw Mum.

219. Stop it.

220. - The drugs have messed you up. - No.

221. Listen. I saw Mum.

222. - Stop! - I saw her.

223. Stop it!

224. Go away! Go home.

225. I can't take this.

226. Hey!

227. Thank you again. Kaisa is feeling really fine.

228. Good to hear.

229. Haven't seen you for some time. You hurt your neck?

230. - You mean this? - Yes.

231. - A slight accident. - A car crash?

232. No.

233. - I was strangled. - Strangled?

234. That's awful. Strangled?

235. It was slightly my own fault.

236. JUHA'S THINGS FROM TRAUMA UNIT

237. Come in.

238. Aren't you on sick leave?

239. I just came to make some calls.

240. - How are things at home? - Quite all right.

241. - How's Elli been? - Quite all right.

242. You better hear this now and not after your leave.

243. The Board is very worried about you.

244. People saw you break that window. Patients and relatives.

245. The Board thinks it wasn't really acceptable behaviour.

246. They want a psychiatric evaluation on you.

247. Psychiatric evaluation?

248. Whether all your Moomins are in the Valley.

249. I see.

250. Are they?

251. - What do you mean? - What do I mean?

252. They want to know if you're still fit to work.

253. Are the patients safe with you, or are you a fucking hazard.

254. - Whether you've lost your mind. - Okay.

255. Okay?

256. I'm fucking wondering about it, too!

257. Don't worry. I'm in my right mind.

258. What happened was just temporary.

259. - Temporary. Which part? - All of it. Every part.

260. All right.

261. - Going home soon? - Yes.

262. Good. You won't be hanging around here?

263. - Just a few phone calls. - Good.

264. - What? - The dog called again.

265. I said you're fully booked.

266. Good. Thanks.

267. I filled some water bottles for you.

268. Oh hell! Red!

269. Do something, I'm burning!

270. Piss now!

271. Fuck, I'm burning!

272. I'm burning!

273. Darling. Got any salve?

274. - Salve? - Anything.

275. Would be nice to do something else sometimes.

276. Ordinary stuff. Don't you think so, too?

277. Darling, I don't like ordinary stuff.

278. Juha.

279. Stop following me.

280. What you want will cost you so much pain you won't stand it.

281. - Evening. - Evening.

282. Can I go in?

283. I'm afraid not. A private event.

284. I was supposed to meet the woman who just went in.

285. I'm afraid I can't let you in, sir.

286. We agreed that we'd meet here.

287. I'm sorry. Not today.

288. What?

289. - I've got a fifty here. - What's that?

290. - A tip. - A tip.

291. - Entrance fee. - I'm sorry, I can't let you in.

292. All I got is this, and my debit card. And a couple of fivers.

293. No need to shove.

294. Just go away!

295. Mona!

296. Wait.

297. Wait!

298. Dad?

299. - Is everything all right? - Yes.

300. I'm doing number two. This will take a while.

301. I thought you were some burglar.

302. Well, not quite.

303. Not quite.

304. - Just go to sleep. - Where were you?

305. Downtown.

306. - Seeing friends. - What friends?

307. Friends!

308. Friends from work.

309. - Dad, open the door. - No. Go to sleep.

310. - Open the door, I want to see you! - No!

311. We went out to dinner.

312. My stomach got upset. This will take a while.

313. See you in the morning!

314. - Dad. - Yes?

315. I hope you'll feel better soon.

316. I'm all right.

317. - Good night. - Good night!

318. Yes!

319. God, you're funny!

320. I thought you'd be a bit dull.

321. But you've changed.

322. First impressions can be deceiving.

323. I've got to powder my nose or I'll pee myself.

324. What?

325. No!

326. Lovely! Thanks.

327. No one's ever given me perfume before.

328. Do I smell that bad?

329. I'm joking.

330. Thanks, you shouldn't have.

331. I hope the music won't bother you.

332. - I can turn it down. - Not at all.

333. It may seem an odd choice.

334. I think it's sexy music. It turns me on.

335. - Can we turn the lights off? - Sure.

336. Would you put that perfume on you?

337. Yes. Sure.

338. - Did you want to spray it? - No, it's fine.

339. - Press there. - What?

340. Press there.

341. Go on. It feels good.

342. I'm sorry.

343. It feels good.

344. Let's continue.

345. I'm sorry.

346. Bye, then.

347. You can hurt me as much as you like.

348. But then you'll strangle me.

349. Hurt you.

350. As much as you like.

351. Any way you want.

352. As much as I like.

353. As much. You can...

354. You'll think of something. Be so kind.

355. Kind. You've got me all wrong.

356. No safewords. You can hurt me.

357. - But then you'll strangle me. - You've got me wrong.

358. - Hi. - Hi.

359. Mona.

360. One more time. Then I'll go.

361. You won't see me again.

362. Dogs don't stand on two feet.

363. Come.

364. He won't bite. Unless I tell him to.

365. Down.

366. You! Down!

367. Come.

368. Sit.

369. Raise your arms.

370. Open your mouth.

371. - What will you do? - Open your mouth.

372. - I thought... - I'll hurt you now as much as I like.

373. - What will you do? - Take out a tooth.

374. Fuck, no!

375. I thought about hitting or... Fuck, no!

376. You can still go.

377. You can leave now. But don't ever come back again.

378. Pull the fucking tooth.

379. Quiet!

380. No! Hello!

381. - No! Hello! - What?

382. Wrong tooth!

383. Remember to breathe.

384. Want to go on?

385. Be quiet then.

386. Remember to breathe.

387. My turn now.

388. Oh shit.

389. - What? - What?

390. You came here to kill yourself!

391. I'm not what you're looking for.

392. I don't do that, I'm not what you're looking for.

393. What the hell?

394. Fucking dog.

395. Not you.

396. Elli.

397. Your cheek's all swollen.

398. - I went to see a dentist. - Sure you did.

399. I came to take you to the Natural History Museum.

400. Come with me to the Museum.

401. No.

402. - I'll tell you the truth. - Well?

403. I've met a nice lady.

404. Seems really promising.

405. I have to go.

406. Dad. I have to go.

407. Need any money?

408. Juha!

409. You made me run.

410. Your psych... God, I'm out of shape.

411. Must get some exercise. Right.

412. Your psychiatric evaluation was finalized today.

413. You got clean papers.

414. You're surprised yourself.

415. - How the hell did you do it? - I lied. Good night.

416. Coming to work next week?