1. About time!
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2. I hope it's not cold!
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3. I've never delivered
a cold pizza in my life.
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4. Wait a minute!
Wait a minute!
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5. - This is light.
- I counted the $12 myself. Okay?
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6. Twelve dollars is right.
But this ain't fucking Puerto Rico!
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7. In Brooklyn, New York, we tip!
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8. No tip.
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9. No tip?
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10. Lady, I just carried your
pizza up five flights of stairs and shit.
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11. The cheese didn't slide
over to one side like it usually does
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12. when delivery people don't care.
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13. But I do care.
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14. May I get paid now?
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15. Wait here.
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16. Hey, I heard that fucking chocolate shit.
I know them Spanish curses, lady.
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17. Hey, lady!
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18. Lady, I gotta go!
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19. Fifty cents?
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20. Cheap bastard, next time
your pizza's gonna be fucked!
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21. Yeah.
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22. Eddie! How many times
do I have to tell you?
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23. Eddie!
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24. If I have to tell you,
stop cooking on my car!
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25. Crazy little bastard.
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26. Cooking, he can't cook.
You gotta put butter on the goddamn thing. It sticks.
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27. He mad as shit,
but I think he's sick, man.
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28. He's so wet, he's slippery.
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29. Hey, Punchy.
Hey, Punchy.
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30. You made his hair
look like a wet dog and shit.
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31. That shit is funny, man.
I'm serious, Punchy.
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32. He gonna talk some hair to us!
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33. Shit. Shit.
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34. That's right, y'all.
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35. Get his ass out of here.
Get his ass out of here.
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36. - Look at that! Look.
- Get the hell out of here.
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37. That's right.
Shit!
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38. - Not running down through Bed-Stuy.
- Yeah, not back in my hood.
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39. For real.
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40. Shit. Oh, fuck.
I don't feel right.
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41. You fucked up, Punchy.
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42. Hey, Punch. Hey, Punchy, what did he say?
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43. He said, "It is my car, and it's an antique."
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44. - I said, "You an antique!"
- "You an antique!"
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45. Go ahead.
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46. We did the slam dunk on his ass, too.
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47. Hey. Hey, Punchy.
You know what I was thinking, man?
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48. - What?
- I think we might have the same brain.
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49. Yeah, get out of here, man.
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50. I'm serious, Punchy, man!
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51. It's because I was thinking
I hope you get him wet.
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52. And you did, man!
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53. - You know what?
- Yes?
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54. Why do you always talk
like you got a sneaker in your mouth?
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55. All right, well, why you
ain't tell me your family got a new house?
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56. Yeah!
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57. Then we got that party
coming up on Friday night.
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58. Cee, man, we got the party.
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59. That party coming up Friday,
I ain't going in there with that old dance.
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60. - I'm sorry.
- Then forget the butt.
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61. Butt is dead. We got a new dance.
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62. - We just need a new one.
- A new dance.
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63. I'm gonna tell you, all right,
I was thinking I'd seen Fred Sanford today.
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64. Let's do that one.
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65. I'm serious, Punchy, you laughing, man!
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66. Okay, do it, man.
Just do it.
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67. Remember how he grabbed his heart.
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68. Check that shit out, isn't that knocking?
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69. That's retarded.
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70. - Come on, man.
- This is weak.
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71. What is this, the senior citizen dance?
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72. Ella, don't be calling my dance retarded.
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73. Man, you retarded.
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74. - What, you got a dance?
- You retarded.
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75. Man, look at this shit.
Look, it's called the slip and slide, look.
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76. Everybody can't do that shit!
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77. I mean, fuck, man, you can do it.
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78. - Wait, wait, wait, wait.
- I can't do that shit.
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79. - What is this?
- Just gotta bring your heel up like that, man.
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80. - Well, that's not gonna work.
- Come on, stop acting like a sissy.
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81. - What?
- Now you're gonna get ice.
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82. - What you gonna do?
- Hey, what you gonna do, partner?
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83. We're gonna do the wiggle! The wiggle!
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84. - Get the fuck out...
- I'm telling you. You be dancing and shit,
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85. go, "Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle.
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle."
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86. - Wiggle...
- Shit, I ain't doing that shit, man.
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87. - Just do it, man!
- That's retarded.
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88. Do it. Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle.
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89. That is stupid as shit.
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90. Punchy, man, you're crazy.
I ain't doing it.
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91. I'll think up my own dance.
I do my own dance.
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92. You do your dance, I'll do mine.
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93. Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle...
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94. Jade?
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95. I have a surprise for you.
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96. For me? Yeah?
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97. Close your eyes.
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98. - And put out your hands.
- Okay.
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99. And...
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100. Ah.
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101. - I know what it is, Smiley.
- What?
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102. Mmm-hmm.
It's a grapefruit.
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103. No! It's the world!
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104. Hey, Smiley, this is beautiful!
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105. Zimbabwe and Namibia.
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106. And Brooklyn.
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107. Brooklyn.
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108. Thank you, Smiley.
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109. That's very nice.
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110. But I don't want you
to leave me any more gifts anymore, okay?
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111. - But, Jade...
- No more gifts, okay?
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112. I like you.
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113. I like you too, Smiley.
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114. Hey, where did you get this from?
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115. - Korea.
- Korea?
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116. Where's Korea?
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117. On the corner.
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118. Across the street from Sal's.
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119. Right there.
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120. Smiley...
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121. Hey, Mookie, Mookie,
how many times did I tell you?
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122. This is like my home, right?
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123. I told you about three times a day, right?
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124. - Right.
- Right. So, if this is my home,
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125. I don't want you and anybody else cursing
in my home, all right?
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126. - Don't curse?
- Right.
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127. Talk to your son over here.
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128. Talk to my son?
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129. - He does talk to me.
- Talk to him.
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130. Thanks, Vito.
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131. You're a girl, right?
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132. I'd like to think of myself
as a woman, Vito. Thanks.
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133. Okay, you're a woman.
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134. - A young woman.
- All right, you're a young woman.
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135. Now, I got this girl, and I know she likes me
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136. and I like her.
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137. But how can you tell, if when she says no,
does she really mean maybe?
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138. Or does she really mean no?
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139. You mean like no, like she doesn't wanna
go out with you anymore?
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140. No, you know what I'm talking about.
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141. - Ah.
- Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
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142. Well, how long have you known her?
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143. Well, we went out
on our first date last weekend.
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144. - You've had one date with her, Vito?
- Uh-huh.
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145. - One date?
- Uh-huh.
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146. Vito, what a girl really wants is for you
to want to get to know her.
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147. Find out, you know,
what goes through her head.
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148. You know, give her some time, Vito.
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149. I'll give it two more dates.
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150. Dude, no, Vito,
that's not what I meant.
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151. Hey.
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152. Jade, you're late.
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153. I know, Mother Sister.
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154. I'm here now.
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155. You got the stuff? Yeah.
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156. I seen your brother this morning.
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157. Yeah, on his way to work, I hope.
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158. This might take a little bit of time, okay?
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159. Well, I got nowhere to go.
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160. We haven't had a good
sit-down for a long while now.
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161. Tender-headed runs in my family.
Are you tender-headed?
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162. Yeah, me, too.
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163. That's why I don't fool with it.
Only let you touch it.
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164. - Ouch!
- Oh, Mother Sister, I'm sorry.
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165. The comb got caught.
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166. Be gentle, child.
Mother Sister's an old woman.
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167. Yes, Mother Sister.
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168. So, how are you holding up in this weather?
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169. I'll do.
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170. Yeah?
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171. I don't know why
you still haven't bought an air conditioner.
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172. I can't stand them.
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173. - The fan is fine.
- Yeah.
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174. I didn't know you had such beautiful hair.
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175. Fool, there's a lot in this world
you don't know.
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176. I'm not stopping,
I'm on my way.
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177. Mother Sister, why are you so cruel
to Da Mayor? It isn't right.
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178. I ain't studying no Mayor.
He reminds me of my least favorite peoples,
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179. my tenants and my ex-husband, goddamn.
Bless his soul.
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180. Number one, I got me some
late-rent-paying, job-trifling people in my house.
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181. Every year I keep threatening to put them out.
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182. Yeah, and move to Long Island.
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183. And move to Long Island.
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184. Number two, my ex-husband
lost all of my property, all of my money,
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185. in his scheme to build a black business empire.
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186. Needless to say what happened.
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187. This house is it.
All I got.
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188. I am too through with your people.
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189. Peoples, my stomach's been grumbling,
but help has arrived.
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190. My main man Mookie has saved the day!
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191. Straight from Sal's Famous Pizzeria
down the block.
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192. Speak into the mike, Mookie.
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193. All right.
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194. Come on, now, don't be shy.
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195. Hey, this smells good.
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196. Now, this is your Love Daddy talking,
starving like Marvin.
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197. Go ahead, talk to the people.
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198. All right, Mr. Love Daddy,
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199. I'd like to dedicate the next record
to my heart and soul, Tina.
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200. All right! Let me play this record
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201. while I go to work
on my chicken parmesana hero
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202. with extra cheese and extra sauce.
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203. Hey, all right, here you go.
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204. - And keep the change.
- Thanks.
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205. - We're gonna split that, right, Mookie?
- No.
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206. We're gonna split that, right, Mookie?
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207. Mmm... Whoo!
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208. Hot! Yes.
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209. Mmm, mmm, mmm!
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210. - It's good, huh?
- You bet.
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211. Yeah, you know Sal.
That's Vito, his son.
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212. Sal's youngest boy!
All right!
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213. Hey, be sure to tell your father,
he still makes the best hero in Brooklyn!
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214. - You got it, Love Daddy.
- All right.
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215. It's a miracle, Mook.
You know what I mean? My man!
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216. Love Daddy, can we just chill here
for a little while?
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217. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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218. - Hey, find me another record.
- A little while.
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219. I'll play it for you before you leave.
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220. Say, you cook as good as your father here?
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221. - Where's Stevie Wonder?
- Look under Blind Artists.
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222. I got a whole section
over there full of blind people.
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223. That ain't right, Love Daddy.
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224. Ray Charles, George Shearing,
Clarence Carter...
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225. I even got some new stuff over there.
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226. Hell, a white rap group over there
called Braille White Shit. You'll love them.
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227. I doubt it.
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228. Hey, man, I'm telling you.
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229. I got another cat over there.
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230. Guy and his brother, blind cats,
started calling themselves Sunglasses.
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231. Check them out.
Look here, man. You cook as good as your pop?
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232. We all cook the same over there.
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233. You didn't hook this up, did you?
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234. - No, I...
- Next time I make an order over there,
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235. you hook me up so I can check you out, okay?
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236. Boy's all right, Mook.
Come on back any old time.
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237. That's 500 fucking dollars.
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238. You're a rich man.
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239. You're happy now, Mookie?
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240. You hear that, folks?
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241. Mookie's happy!
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242. He's the richest fucking man
in the neighborhood!
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243. He's got 500 fucking dollars!
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244. You can buy anything, Mookie.
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245. You're a wealthy fucking man.
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246. You're a real fucking Rockefeller!
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247. All right, you got paid, huh?
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248. Leave me the fuck alone.
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249. Sal, my salary's $250 a week, all right?
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250. I owe you $50.
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251. - You keep it.
- You keep it.
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252. - No, you keep it.
- You keep it.
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253. You keep it!
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254. I don't believe this.
I don't believe it.
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255. Believe it.
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256. Are you all right?
You sick?
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257. I'm hot as a motherfucker, but I'm all right.
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258. Yeah, well, they say it's
even gonna get hotter today.
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259. What are you going to do?
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260. Make that money, get paid.
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261. Mookie,
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262. I just wanted you to know
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263. they would never give me insurance
for this place.
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264. - No shit?
- No shit.
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265. Yeah, okay. Look,
I gotta go see my son.
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266. Hey, Mookie.
Mookie, come here, man.
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267. Come here, I wanna talk to you.
Come here.
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268. Sal talking. Come here.
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269. Okay, okay.
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270. Always try to do the right thing.
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271. That's it?
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272. That's it.
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273. - That's it.
- I got it.
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