1. Oh, shit.Copy !req
2. You just got Wolfed.Copy !req
3. - What?
- That is an official trademark...Copy !req
4. that I am getting registered.Copy !req
5. It's a lot of stuff you gotta do,
hoops you gotta jump through.Copy !req
6. Gotta get on the Internet.Copy !req
7. Gotta go to some stupid-ass website
where you register a catch phrase.Copy !req
8. I wanted "Bam,"
but Emeril had taken it.Copy !req
9. I'm rambling, man.
Get up, man. Get up, man.Copy !req
10. Is the contender ready?Copy !req
11. - Ready.
- Is the gladiator ready?Copy !req
12. Three, two, one.Copy !req
13. Things are heating up for the Wolf.Copy !req
14. I just opened a Target in Reseda...Copy !req
15. and my own brand of BBQ sauce.Copy !req
16. I'm calling it Wolf's BBQ Sauce,
available in regular and chipotle.Copy !req
17. You still going?
You still want more of this, man?Copy !req
18. I learned that in Oriental land.Copy !req
19. Whoa, yeah. U.S. A!Copy !req
20. They're so small anyway, from steroids.Copy !req
21. A saber-tooth.Copy !req
22. Amy Winehouse?Copy !req
23. Piss off.Copy !req
24. You don't wanna mess with
a bitch straight out of rehab.Copy !req
25. Listen, like the dinosaurs
being destroyed by the Ice Age...Copy !req
26. you, too, will soon be extinct.Copy !req
27. When?Copy !req
28. - How much time do we have?
- Bloody hell.Copy !req
29. Just calm down.
Do you know you're speaking so fast...Copy !req
30. I can't even hear, mate?
You're making my head hurt.Copy !req
31. Or maybe that was
the gasoline I drank.Copy !req
32. Oh, my God, it was good.
Oh, God, I love drinking gasoline.Copy !req
33. It's excellent for the vocal cords.Copy !req
34. That's my little secret.Copy !req
35. - You're welcome.
- How much time do we have?Copy !req
36. Let me see.Copy !req
37. Hang on a bit.Copy !req
38. There we go.Copy !req
39. All right, let's have a look-see.Copy !req
40. Everyone's on Facebook.Copy !req
41. It says...Copy !req
42. that the end of the world
will be August 29th, 28.Copy !req
43. Oh, God.Copy !req
44. Bottoms up.Copy !req
45. Sick.Copy !req
46. Mark my words, leather boy.Copy !req
47. Cave dweller.Copy !req
48. Beaver hunter.Copy !req
49. Your doom lies with this.Copy !req
50. - The crystal skull.
- That's right. Did your nibblies go tight?Copy !req
51. Yeah, they did. Just went up
inside you, didn't they?Copy !req
52. Oh, boy.Copy !req
53. I knew I shouldn't have
taken all those Ambien.Copy !req
54. Amy. Wake up, baby.
I just had the weirdest dream.Copy !req
55. Amy.Copy !req
56. What? What the...?Copy !req
57. Flava-Flav! Yeah, boy!Copy !req
58. I've been giving your girl
the flavor of love.Copy !req
59. She's been sucking
my clock all night long.Copy !req
60. Get the hell out of here, Flava!Copy !req
61. I'm Flava-Flav!Copy !req
62. - What is that about?
- What?Copy !req
63. You said you didn't
wanna be in a relationship.Copy !req
64. I know, but Flava?Copy !req
65. Will...Copy !req
66. I wanna take it to the next level.Copy !req
67. I love you.Copy !req
68. I like you too.Copy !req
69. Oh, man.Copy !req
70. Look, you don't understand.Copy !req
71. I think the world is coming to an end.Copy !req
72. That's a way of saying
you have commitment issues.Copy !req
73. Unbelievable. Come on, Jojo.Copy !req
74. You're taking Jojo?Copy !req
75. Goodbye, Will.Copy !req
76. Are you still coming
to my Sweet 16 party?Copy !req
77. You're 25.Copy !req
78. - I never had one.
- Grow up.Copy !req
79. Yeah.Copy !req
80. - Hey.
- Yeah.Copy !req
81. Amy, you came.Copy !req
82. Come on.Copy !req
83. Oh, hey, Will.Copy !req
84. - Happy Sweet 16.
- Thanks.Copy !req
85. Take a look at these.Copy !req
86. Oh, God.Copy !req
87. Hey, Will. It's your buddy, Dr. Phil.Copy !req
88. Hey, let me show you
why my frat brothers...Copy !req
89. used to call me Dr. Phil-You-Up.Copy !req
90. Oh, hey, baby.Copy !req
91. Dyke. Come back here, I like it rough.Copy !req
92. Hey, Will, where's that
girlfriend of yours, Amy?Copy !req
93. Don't let her get away.Copy !req
94. She's a real quality girl,
a real keeper, like that one.Copy !req
95. Hey, come on back here, you whore.Copy !req
96. Thanks.Copy !req
97. Yo!Copy !req
98. Let's prank his ass. He passed out.Copy !req
99. He's sleeping like a baby.Copy !req
100. We can put his hands in warm water.Copy !req
101. Or I have a better idea.Copy !req
102. - Call it.
- Tails.Copy !req
103. It is tails.Copy !req
104. Punch.Copy !req
105. What's up, baby?Copy !req
106. Those guys are trying
to steal our booze.Copy !req
107. - What?
- We gotta get the alcohol...Copy !req
108. so we can get the girls drunk
so we can finally get laid.Copy !req
109. I am McLover.Copy !req
110. - Yeah, I know.
- I am McLover.Copy !req
111. - Stop saying that.
- I am McLover.Copy !req
112. God, you are such a douche.Copy !req
113. Yeah, fake ID, what?Copy !req
114. Just get the booze.Copy !req
115. Nobody tries to steal my Goldschläger.Copy !req
116. Shoot the target.Copy !req
117. Lisa, how am I supposed to do that?
I don't even have a clear shot.Copy !req
118. - Curve the bullet.
- Say what?Copy !req
119. You can control the bullet
to go wherever you want.Copy !req
120. Don't tell him what to do. He's my man.Copy !req
121. Back off, bitch.
You don't want none of me.Copy !req
122. Shit.Copy !req
123. Get off of me.Copy !req
124. Come on, bitch.Copy !req
125. Take that, bitch.Copy !req
126. How do you like that?Copy !req
127. Pretty little thing.
Oh, look at you laying there.Copy !req
128. I should kiss you. Give me a kiss, baby.Copy !req
129. Left foot, yellow.Copy !req
130. Calvin?Copy !req
131. Calvin.Copy !req
132. - Are you gonna curve the bullet or what?
- Hello?Copy !req
133. Yeah. Yeah, right, right.Copy !req
134. Let's go back to my hot tub.
You can suck on my...Copy !req
135. - Damn.
- Sorry, Phil.Copy !req
136. Shit. I can... I can do this.Copy !req
137. - Shit. Hurry up.
- Dude.Copy !req
138. Just curve the bullet.Copy !req
139. I know you have the power.Copy !req
140. Fucking hurry up. Hurry up.Copy !req
141. Nice shot, asshole.Copy !req
142. Juney, why won't you
Have an abortion?Copy !req
143. You're not exactly part of
The Christian CoalitionCopy !req
144. I could just grab a wire hanger
And do it myselfCopy !req
145. Like Jamie Lynn Spears
I'm keeping this babyCopy !req
146. And, look, stud
You are no George ClooneyCopy !req
147. In fact, I just sold the baby
To the highest bidder on eBayCopy !req
148. You're a sarcastic teen
Who talks like she's 30...Copy !req
149. - Think Amy's coming tonight?
- Man, I don't know.Copy !req
150. That's your girlfriend.Copy !req
151. Actually, we broke up.Copy !req
152. Oh, you want some new booty.Copy !req
153. - A little Asian freak.
- No...Copy !req
154. A little "One Night in Bangkok,"
a little sake-sake.Copy !req
155. I saw Memoirs of a Geisha.
I know that shit goes on.Copy !req
156. I'm in love with her.Copy !req
157. Then what your dumb ass
break up with her for?Copy !req
158. It never would've worked out.Copy !req
159. It's better to end it
than to end up hurting her.Copy !req
160. You know what?
You got commitment issues, dog.Copy !req
161. Well, I didn't exactly have
the best example growing up.Copy !req
162. I never even knew my dad.
He split when I was young.Copy !req
163. That's your girl right there.Copy !req
164. Who's that dude she with?Copy !req
165. She started dating some
Calvin Klein underwear model.Copy !req
166. Forget about her, man.
I got something that'll cheer you up.Copy !req
167. Dude, what is up
with the marching band?Copy !req
168. What better way to celebrate
your super-duper Sweet 16...Copy !req
169. than with a high school musical?Copy !req
170. Tonight, tonight
We're gonna get real crunkCopy !req
171. Tonight, tonight,
A bum's peeing in the punchCopy !req
172. Hello, my friends
You're all at my partyCopy !req
173. It's so good to see all of youCopy !req
174. My ex-girl, Amy
And my main man, CalvinCopy !req
175. And the priest that molested me tooCopy !req
176. That reminds me
Of the time I was in collegeCopy !req
177. I was experimentingCopy !req
178. Hooking up with a hot
Foreign-exchange studentCopy !req
179. I think his name was Hop SingCopy !req
180. We'll all be friends foreverCopy !req
181. Unless a random disaster
Destroys the cityCopy !req
182. We'll all be friends foreverCopy !req
183. Because if that happened
It'd be kind of shittyCopy !req
184. One, two, three, fourCopy !req
185. After we split
I took the break-up real hardCopy !req
186. - I started foolin' around
- Foolin' aroundCopy !req
187. I did a black dude
I thought he was KanyeCopy !req
188. And the Jonas Brothers all got downCopy !req
189. Now that you're split
I'll get her hooked on the reeferCopy !req
190. Yeah, I'll start pimping her outCopy !req
191. - Wait, what?
- Hey, hey, now.Copy !req
192. Snoop Dogg's got nothin' on this playaCopy !req
193. I'll get the first prize at the Playa's BallCopy !req
194. Hey, hey, man, whoa!Copy !req
195. Yeah, it's going on and on
We can do it all day longCopy !req
196. It's the new phenomenon, whoa!Copy !req
197. Yeah, it's going on and on
It's the new phenomenonCopy !req
198. We'll all be friends foreverCopy !req
199. Unless a random disaster
Destroys the cityCopy !req
200. We'll all be friends foreverCopy !req
201. Because if that happened
It'd be kind of shittyCopy !req
202. One, two, three, fourCopy !req
203. J.T.'s here. J. T!Copy !req
204. Oh, babeCopy !req
205. If I sang you a melodyCopy !req
206. Would you toss me
Your panties?Copy !req
207. I don't mean to be a boastful manCopy !req
208. But I've done groupies
in my touring vanCopy !req
209. Britney, Cameron, Scarlett tooCopy !req
210. They all like a taste of my fondueCopy !req
211. Come to think of it
I've had so much assCopy !req
212. All that's left for me is Lance BassCopy !req
213. Look, everyone. It's Jessica Simpson.Copy !req
214. My boobs are for JesusCopy !req
215. All of this, all for JesusCopy !req
216. Put your pants back on, Dad.Copy !req
217. Go, Romo! Oh, my God.
He's gonna score a basket goal.Copy !req
218. Wait. What's it called again?
Oh, my gosh, I totally forget.Copy !req
219. What is it, a rubdown?Copy !req
220. What? A tickle down.Copy !req
221. Oh, a touchdown.Copy !req
222. Frigging jinx.Copy !req
223. Gosh.Copy !req
224. We'll all be friends foreverCopy !req
225. Unless a random disaster
Destroys the cityCopy !req
226. We'll all be friends foreverCopy !req
227. Because if that happened
It'd be kind of shittyCopy !req
228. One, two, three, four, hooray!Copy !req
229. What's going on?Copy !req
230. What the hell was that?Copy !req
231. This is an emergency broadcast.Copy !req
232. This is an emergency broadcast.Copy !req
233. Shut up, everybody. Listen.Copy !req
234. Something has jolted the city.Copy !req
235. We're getting reports it could be
an earthquake or some shit like that.Copy !req
236. Oh, shit.Copy !req
237. Seismologists have marked
the epicenter at a trendy loft district...Copy !req
238. whose residents
are attractive twentysomethings...Copy !req
239. who dance to bad '80s music...Copy !req
240. wear Abercrombie & Fitch,
and like to drink light beer.Copy !req
241. Oh, God, we're all gonna die!Copy !req
242. Take a Xanax, Fabio.Copy !req
243. You're wigging harder than a
smack addict at an lggy show circa '73.Copy !req
244. What?Copy !req
245. It's cool, Moe Dee. Sir Cries-a-Lot.Copy !req
246. You're totally giving me the stink eye.Copy !req
247. FYI, Battlecrotch Galactica...Copy !req
248. you're grape smuggling
harder than Cornelius...Copy !req
249. in Planet of the Apes.
The original, not Tim Burton's.Copy !req
250. And BT-dubs,
I haven't seen a six-pack like that...Copy !req
251. since I shotgunned
Molson Golden at Lollapalooza.Copy !req
252. I don't understand a thing you're saying.Copy !req
253. That's because I speak in overly written,
clever-for-clever's-sake quips.Copy !req
254. Time to get this sea monkey plastered.Copy !req
255. This is an emergency broadcast.Copy !req
256. - Amy. Are you okay?
- Yeah.Copy !req
257. Why did you bring
another guy to my party?Copy !req
258. - Why do you care?
- Because l...Copy !req
259. I don't.Copy !req
260. I'm out of here.Copy !req
261. Later, bitch.Copy !req
262. You know what, Will?Copy !req
263. Every time we made love,
I was thinking about another guy.Copy !req
264. Well, so was I.Copy !req
265. - Damn it.
- Will!Copy !req
266. You gotta hear this.Copy !req
267. The quake erupted a gas main
and destroyed the ghetto.Copy !req
268. - I can live with that.
- Oh, hell, no.Copy !req
269. - Cracker.
- We're now getting reports...Copy !req
270. that asteroids are falling
out of the sky and...Copy !req
271. End of the world.Copy !req
272. And a Pinkberry
has just been destroyed.Copy !req
273. It's like my dream.Copy !req
274. I repeat, a Pinkberry
has just been destroyed.Copy !req
275. God, what the hell's happening?Copy !req
276. - I think it's the apocalypse.
- It's Armageddon.Copy !req
277. I think I just shit myself.Copy !req
278. Let's go.Copy !req
279. Oh, my God. Hannah Montana's dead.Copy !req
280. Oh, no.Copy !req
281. Well, goodbye, all my fans.Copy !req
282. Keep rocking.Copy !req
283. She is a national treasure!Copy !req
284. Also, remind your parents...Copy !req
285. to pick up your official
Hannah Montana lunchbox...Copy !req
286. Hannah Montana cheese grater...Copy !req
287. and Hannah Montana toilet paper.Copy !req
288. And be sure to tune in
to my Summer in Montana concert...Copy !req
289. this Wednesday, 8, 7 Central.Copy !req
290. I waited in line
for two days for these tickets.Copy !req
291. Damn.Copy !req
292. And let me just say, those totally sexy
and utterly provocative pictures of me...Copy !req
293. were leaked onto MySpace
completely without my permission.Copy !req
294. But if you'll notice in those pictures...Copy !req
295. I'm wearing my new line of sexy...Copy !req
296. Hannah Montana lingerie,
now available at Target.Copy !req
297. Oh, my God. Hannah Montana
is really Miley Cyrus.Copy !req
298. Well, duh. No shit, Sherlock.Copy !req
299. All I do is wear a wig
and change my voice a little bit...Copy !req
300. and those dumb kids
can't tell the difference.Copy !req
301. Then I get twice the pay
and twice the merchandise.Copy !req
302. Just a reminder,
my new CD comes out.Copy !req
303. Miley Cyrus: Underage.Copy !req
304. It's available in stores now.
Featuring songs from my dad, Billy Ray.Copy !req
305. Only 9.95.Copy !req
306. Can somebody help us?Copy !req
307. Isn't there anybody that can help?Copy !req
308. Hey, Hancock.Copy !req
309. Hancock?Copy !req
310. We need help.Copy !req
311. Wake up, you drunk motherfucker.Copy !req
312. Get your punk ass up,
fly down there, and fix that shit.Copy !req
313. Asshole!Copy !req
314. Oh, hell, no.Copy !req
315. Big Willie's out of here.Copy !req
316. I need a drink.Copy !req
317. Holy shit!Copy !req
318. - It's coming this way.
- What should we do?Copy !req
319. - Come on, guys. Let's get out of here.
- Let's go!Copy !req
320. This way. Over here.
Come on. Come on.Copy !req
321. Go, go, go.Copy !req
322. - What are we gonna do now?
- Baby, I don't know.Copy !req
323. Look, we'll just...Copy !req
324. We'll wait out the storm here
until it passes by.Copy !req
325. Hey.Copy !req
326. This is our hiding place.Copy !req
327. Get lost. Right, Carrie?Copy !req
328. Hello, lover.Copy !req
329. Unless you wanna fight.Copy !req
330. Look, we don't want any trouble.Copy !req
331. I never back down.Copy !req
332. - Get some.
- As you can see, I already did.Copy !req
333. And so I thought: Could a simple
New York City gal like me...Copy !req
334. really beat the shit
out of a pregnant teenager? I wonder.Copy !req
335. Like Dolph Lundgren in Rocky IV,
I must break you.Copy !req
336. - Yes!
- Yeah!Copy !req
337. I'm lactating. Moo.Copy !req
338. Got milk?Copy !req
339. Oh, God.Copy !req
340. - Is that your feet?
- Yeah.Copy !req
341. And this is my baby's foot.Copy !req
342. Smell it.Copy !req
343. And taste it.Copy !req
344. Suck on my placenta.Copy !req
345. - Yeah!
- Oh, Carrie.Copy !req
346. Carrie, darling, are you all right?Copy !req
347. Come on, ladies.
Let's get out of here now.Copy !req
348. - What the hell's going on?
- I don't know.Copy !req
349. Wake up and smell the Prius.Copy !req
350. I know it's an inconvenient truth,
but it's called global warming.Copy !req
351. No. No, it's not global warming.Copy !req
352. Amy Winehouse
came to me in my dreams...Copy !req
353. after I fought an American Gladiator.Copy !req
354. I think it has something to do
with the crystal skull...Copy !req
355. Come on. Crackhead Winehouse?
Crystal skull?Copy !req
356. You sound like a crazy man.Copy !req
357. Look, it's getting late. Let's just stay
here tonight and wait out the storm.Copy !req
358. I'm freezing.Copy !req
359. We gotta take off our clothes.Copy !req
360. - What?
- Our bodies will keep each other warm.Copy !req
361. Otherwise, we're not gonna make it
through the night.Copy !req
362. Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
363. He's right. Come on.Copy !req
364. I think my water's gonna break.Copy !req
365. Water?Copy !req
366. What the...?Copy !req
367. Sorry.Copy !req
368. Look, I have something to tell you.
I'm not really a banker.Copy !req
369. - I'm a jumper.
- A what?Copy !req
370. I can teleport through time and space.Copy !req
371. I hope we stay together forever.Copy !req
372. I love you.Copy !req
373. Later.Copy !req
374. I am Prince Caspian,
here to save Narnia.Copy !req
375. Little help?Copy !req
376. You guys?Copy !req
377. It's the guy who ruined Star Wars.Copy !req
378. - What?
- Will, we saw your dream.Copy !req
379. - Oh, man.
- Man, you messed shit up with Amy.Copy !req
380. You're lucky a girl like that
would even talk to you.Copy !req
381. She's hot, sexy. She got a job.Copy !req
382. - Man, that girl out your league.
- She's not out of my league.Copy !req
383. Shit, she gotta put up
with your stank breath.Copy !req
384. Not to mention your
abnormally high plumber's crack.Copy !req
385. Man, put your shirt down.Copy !req
386. All right. You're right, you're right.
I messed up with Amy.Copy !req
387. I never should've let her go.Copy !req
388. Jesus Christ. That was a rump shaker.Copy !req
389. Okay, here's the plan.
We gotta get the hell up out this city.Copy !req
390. What you say?Copy !req
391. What the hell y'all doing leaving me?Copy !req
392. Keep it moving, people. Nothing to see.Copy !req
393. All the disasters have been contained.
The city is secure.Copy !req
394. Shit.Copy !req
395. Sick.Copy !req
396. Like I said, keep moving.
It's under control.Copy !req
397. I'm out of here.Copy !req
398. - What was that?
- That was a head. That was a head.Copy !req
399. - Hello?
- Whose head?Copy !req
400. - Hello?
- Will, it's me.Copy !req
401. Amy, where are you?Copy !req
402. I'm at work at the museum.
I was worried about the artifacts.Copy !req
403. - Are you okay?
- I'm scared.Copy !req
404. It's gonna be all right, I promise. Listen.Copy !req
405. There is something
that I need to tell you...Copy !req
406. and I should've told you long before.
I was an idiot.Copy !req
407. I love you.Copy !req
408. Oh, baby, I love you too.Copy !req
409. What do...? What do you say?
Do you still love me?Copy !req
410. Yes, yes, of course, yes.Copy !req
411. Say something.Copy !req
412. Say something, you stuck-up bitch.Copy !req
413. Asshole.Copy !req
414. Hello? Hello, Amy?Copy !req
415. Shit.Copy !req
416. Oh, what the...?Copy !req
417. - We gotta go back.
- Say what?Copy !req
418. Amy's in trouble.
I'm going back for her.Copy !req
419. I let her go before.
I'm not losing her again.Copy !req
420. Man, you crazy. There's all kinds
of shit breaking out in the city.Copy !req
421. We don't leave right now,
we're gonna die.Copy !req
422. It's something I gotta do.Copy !req
423. You guys keep going.Copy !req
424. No, I'm your boy, man.
I'm gonna roll with you.Copy !req
425. Yeah, I mean, I'm already knocked up...Copy !req
426. so, what other shenanigans
can I really get into?Copy !req
427. I mean, I'm more bloated
than Vince Vaughn in The Break-Up...Copy !req
428. or Vince Vaughn in Fred Claus...Copy !req
429. or I guess Vince Vaughn in general.Copy !req
430. - So let's go.
- Yeah, please.Copy !req
431. Lisa, come on.Copy !req
432. - No, guys.
- Come on, baby.Copy !req
433. I really have a bad feeling about this.Copy !req
434. Lisa!Copy !req
435. They killed Lisa!Copy !req
436. - Lisa!
- Come on, come on.Copy !req
437. - They killed Lisa! You bastards!
- Come on, come on. We gotta go.Copy !req
438. Come on.Copy !req
439. I'm really sorry about your girlfriend,
home skillet.Copy !req
440. Lo ciento about your main squeeze,
kemosabe.Copy !req
441. I'd offer you my sexual favors, but
I've got a lot of mucus discharge lately.Copy !req
442. Lisa was a great girl.Copy !req
443. Lisa who?Copy !req
444. Oh, where am I?Copy !req
445. Oh, what an enchanting place.Copy !req
446. It smells like meat and stress.Copy !req
447. Wonderful.Copy !req
448. What magical creature are you?Copy !req
449. My dear princeCopy !req
450. You have rescued me
You've caught me in your armsCopy !req
451. Actually, you landed on my ballsCopy !req
452. Let me guess.Copy !req
453. An evil witch banished you
from your fairy-tale kingdom?Copy !req
454. No, my silly, pasty, quirky teen.Copy !req
455. Actually, I'm just a demented
homeless chick who lives in the sewers.Copy !req
456. - How'd you end up there?
- Drugs.Copy !req
457. Lots and lots and lots...Copy !req
458. of mind-altering, enchanting drugs!Copy !req
459. I don't judge.Copy !req
460. It's dangerous out there.Copy !req
461. You might wanna come with us
if you wanna live.Copy !req
462. - Okay.
- All right.Copy !req
463. - Goodbye. Oh, I'm going with you.
- Yes, you are.Copy !req
464. The Natural History Museum
is just uptown. Let's go.Copy !req
465. Dreams and fairy tales
My true loveCopy !req
466. Talking squirrels and magic and stuffCopy !req
467. No, princess, wait.
Where are you going?Copy !req
468. And who's that Moorish ruffian?Copy !req
469. I'm her new boyfriend. What it do?Copy !req
470. Very funny, dark peasant.
I'm Prince Edwin.Copy !req
471. - Princess, he your pimp?
- Oh, good heavens, yes.Copy !req
472. But that's all right.
I could have a pimp and a boyfriend.Copy !req
473. Oh, what to do?Copy !req
474. Whichever prince can vanquish
the other shall win my hand.Copy !req
475. You ready to step up?Copy !req
476. Wait. You mean like
the first Step Up movie...Copy !req
477. where the street-dancer dude
went to the dance academy?Copy !req
478. No, I was thinking
more like Step Up 2...Copy !req
479. when the tough street-dancing chick
went to dancing academy.Copy !req
480. I feel you.Copy !req
481. He ain't ready for me. Juney, Will,
I'm about to break him down, baby.Copy !req
482. You want some? Well, here you go.Copy !req
483. Oh, a hoedown?Copy !req
484. It's crazy-shirt man.Copy !req
485. Oh, no, no, no.Copy !req
486. It's just my sleeve.Copy !req
487. Oh, come on.Copy !req
488. He's double-jointed.
Who cares about that?Copy !req
489. There must be a mirror somewhere.Copy !req
490. Make some room. Make some room.Copy !req
491. Make some room.Copy !req
492. - Come on, chubby.
- Okay.Copy !req
493. What? What? What?Copy !req
494. Oh, damn, that ho is all on point.Copy !req
495. That bitch better work.
She is off the chizzain.Copy !req
496. I think she's crowning.Copy !req
497. I want to dance.Copy !req
498. I'm not sure I can though. I'm not sure.Copy !req
499. L... Don't pressure me!Copy !req
500. I'm ready.Copy !req
501. Oh, look out. Look at her coming in.Copy !req
502. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
503. I'm out of here.Copy !req
504. Bye.Copy !req
505. She's all yours, bro.Copy !req
506. It's a twister!Copy !req
507. Run! Run!Copy !req
508. Is there anyone that can save us?Copy !req
509. We need a hero.Copy !req
510. I am Iron Man.Copy !req
511. Oh, man! That twister shat out a cow.Copy !req
512. Shit. That's so messed up.Copy !req
513. Now you're pissing me off.Copy !req
514. I'm the only badass around here.Copy !req
515. Oh, damn!Copy !req
516. Another cow?Copy !req
517. What was that?Copy !req
518. It's not nice.Copy !req
519. Look at me. Look at this.Copy !req
520. It's a lobster claw.Copy !req
521. Whatever.Copy !req
522. Look, I'm carrying a lot of baggage.
I didn't need that, man.Copy !req
523. Don't make me angry.
You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.Copy !req
524. There's aspects of my personality
that I can't control.Copy !req
525. At least he didn't get hit with a cow.Copy !req
526. - Man!
- Hey, Casanova, forget Amy.Copy !req
527. We're never gonna make it
to the museum.Copy !req
528. I know she's still alive.Copy !req
529. Hello? Jojo?Copy !req
530. Jojo? No, no, it's me.Copy !req
531. Will. Will, I'm trapped.Copy !req
532. An Egyptian statue fell on me
during the earthquake.Copy !req
533. Stay calm, Amy. Just stay calm.Copy !req
534. I'm so scared. I'm so scared.Copy !req
535. All right, Amy, listen to me. Don't panic.Copy !req
536. I will be there, I promise.Copy !req
537. Amy? Amy?Copy !req
538. Guys, I'm going back for her.Copy !req
539. You can't save her if you're dead!
Come on, let's go!Copy !req
540. - I'll be there as soon as I can.
- Go, go.Copy !req
541. Goodbye.Copy !req
542. - Amy. No!
- Will, let's go.Copy !req
543. - No! Damn it!
- You got to!Copy !req
544. I know you think I'm crazy...Copy !req
545. but these disasters have to do
with the crystal skull.Copy !req
546. - It's like TMTH.
- TM what?Copy !req
547. Too much to handle.Copy !req
548. Bitch, why you don't just say that?Copy !req
549. Why everything a goddamn acronym
with you?Copy !req
550. Chilly Willy out, LL Not Cool J.Copy !req
551. Oh, do stop all of this quarreling.
Honestly.Copy !req
552. Now, who's hungry?Copy !req
553. Delicious.Copy !req
554. Whatever.Copy !req
555. Would you like some?Copy !req
556. No.Copy !req
557. What?Copy !req
558. Y'all, that's my Get Smart phone.
Just give me a minute.Copy !req
559. You got poop.Copy !req
560. Just a smidge.Copy !req
561. Did I get it? Did I get it all?Copy !req
562. What y'all looking at me like that for?Copy !req
563. You got... Yeah.Copy !req
564. Is it right there?Copy !req
565. - It's fine.
- Just go:Copy !req
566. Just... I get it all the time, all over.Copy !req
567. What it do?Copy !req
568. Hey, y'all, it's Lisa's mom.Copy !req
569. I gotta tell her what happened
to her daughter.Copy !req
570. Hi, Miss Heller.Copy !req
571. Lisa...Copy !req
572. Lisa dead.Copy !req
573. But booyah!Copy !req
574. I met this fine, hot
enchanted-princess chick...Copy !req
575. willing to do anything
and everything I want.Copy !req
576. You gotta talk to her. Talk to her.Copy !req
577. Hello? Oh, yes, he's right.
I will do anything. Truly.Copy !req
578. I'm not referred to on the street
as the Cavernous Princess for nothing.Copy !req
579. A nomenclature well-deserved,
most assuredly.Copy !req
580. If you've got 5 bucks or some meth,
I'll show you.Copy !req
581. One time I hooked up
with a 1 -year-old wizard.Copy !req
582. His penis kept reappearing
in all sorts of different places.Copy !req
583. Never again.Copy !req
584. You're so cool.
We should totally hang out.Copy !req
585. She's awesome.Copy !req
586. Look, we gotta get to Amy
at the Natural History Museum.Copy !req
587. Oh, my.Copy !req
588. - Oh, no.
- I can't see anything.Copy !req
589. - Neither can I.
- Somebody is totally feeling me up.Copy !req
590. - Calvin.
- I didn't do it.Copy !req
591. They're so perky.
They're filled with milk.Copy !req
592. What the hell was that?Copy !req
593. Wonderful.
What adorable woodland creatures.Copy !req
594. I'm not merry, really. That didn't...
I mean, that didn't make me merry.Copy !req
595. I don't feel merry, I guess.Copy !req
596. Man, them guys are all right.Copy !req
597. That's cute. That's cute.Copy !req
598. Okay, you guys are not
Alvin and the Chipmunks, are you?Copy !req
599. I think that one's got rabies.Copy !req
600. Where you going, punk-ass?Copy !req
601. Alvin!Copy !req
602. Get him off!Copy !req
603. Chipmunks love nuts.Copy !req
604. Get him off! What the hell?
I thought you was my friend!Copy !req
605. Salty.Copy !req
606. You're hitting the wrong thing! You...!Copy !req
607. I feel left out.
No one's biting my flesh. Pooh.Copy !req
608. Is that the best you got, pussy?Copy !req
609. You are such a girl.Copy !req
610. Redrum!Copy !req
611. Where'd he go?Copy !req
612. Yeah!Copy !req
613. Don't bite me. Get lost!Copy !req
614. Oh, boy, tasty vertebrae.Copy !req
615. - Juney.
- Let her go.Copy !req
616. Let her go, man.
Ain't nothing we can do.Copy !req
617. But she's still alive.Copy !req
618. They're munching me harder...Copy !req
619. than Rachael Ray chowing down
eggs Benedict on $40 a Day.Copy !req
620. Yeah.Copy !req
621. Even when the bitch is dying,
she don't shut up with her witty repartee.Copy !req
622. Hey, BFFs, what's the 411 on the 911?Copy !req
623. Oh, she is rather annoying.Copy !req
624. WTH? I'm so not ROTFLOL'ing...Copy !req
625. but please KIT, before I get 187'd.Copy !req
626. Blog you later.Copy !req
627. - Finally.
- Finally.Copy !req
628. That was just the amuse bouche.
Now the main course.Copy !req
629. - Come back here, you bitches.
- Bitches!Copy !req
630. I'll get you in your grill.Copy !req
631. Pussies.Copy !req
632. Die!Copy !req
633. Can't breathe. Need air.Copy !req
634. Shitheads!Copy !req
635. Is everybody okay?Copy !req
636. Yeah, I'm okay.Copy !req
637. Hey, baby, your knees
are all skinned up.Copy !req
638. Oh, yes, but that's not
from the chipmunks.Copy !req
639. But I do have this terrible headache.Copy !req
640. Head On.
Apply directly to the forehead.Copy !req
641. Head On.
Apply directly to the forehead.Copy !req
642. Head On.
Apply directly to the forehead.Copy !req
643. Head On.
Apply directly to the forehead.Copy !req
644. I just... I just did.Copy !req
645. I said, Head On, bitch.Copy !req
646. - Apply directly to the forehead.
- Whatever.Copy !req
647. Don't cop an attitude, slut.Copy !req
648. I said, apply Head On directly
to your goddamn forehead.Copy !req
649. Okay, okay. Happy?Copy !req
650. Look, you little white-trash
piece of shit...Copy !req
651. Head On, motherfucker.Copy !req
652. Apply directly to your
motherfucking forehead.Copy !req
653. Okay? There. It's all over.Copy !req
654. Head on, face on, nose on, eyes on.Copy !req
655. Oh, that's great.Copy !req
656. My headache is gone...Copy !req
657. but I still have that dreadful
yeast infection.Copy !req
658. Sourdough anyone?Copy !req
659. - I could've did without that.
- Let's get to the museum.Copy !req
660. - Let's go!
- Move it!Copy !req
661. Out of the way!Copy !req
662. Excuse me, sir.Copy !req
663. What's going on?
Where's everybody going?Copy !req
664. It's a mass evacuation. Everyone
has to leave the city right now.Copy !req
665. Hold up, hold up.
You leaving, Batman?Copy !req
666. Shit. Yes. Yeah, I'm leaving. Okay?
I don't wanna die.Copy !req
667. Not on my schedule today.
Not on my to-do list.Copy !req
668. It wasn't, "Wake up, make breakfast, jog,
science experiment, die."Copy !req
669. Not on it. Not on it. Okay?
Are we done?Copy !req
670. All right.Copy !req
671. Anyone who stays in town
is gonna be buried in rubble.Copy !req
672. I hate rubble.Copy !req
673. I've gotta get to the Natural History
Museum, to my girl, Amy. She's trapped.Copy !req
674. If you go back after your girlfriend,
you have zero chance of survival.Copy !req
675. I'll take those odds.Copy !req
676. - She must be some piece of pussy.
- She is, sir. She is.Copy !req
677. Look, the evacuation bus
is leaving city hall at 21 hours.Copy !req
678. Twenty-one hundred?
Hold on, what is...? That's...Copy !req
679. - Five, carry the six...
- Nine p.m.Copy !req
680. I'm gonna save you your crazy math.
It's 9 p.m.Copy !req
681. You start at noon, then nine hours later.Copy !req
682. That's 9. That's the time you need
to get on those evacuation buses...Copy !req
683. or you're dead.Copy !req
684. Dead?Copy !req
685. Come on, it's already 5:3.Copy !req
686. Say again, 5:3? Oh, Jesus.Copy !req
687. Oh, God. I wasted the whole day.Copy !req
688. I was... I was on Amazon
looking for stuff.Copy !req
689. Shit. Why? Why would I
go Christmas shopping today?Copy !req
690. Why would I pick today?
Son of a bitch. Okay, plan B.Copy !req
691. - Hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
692. I'm Batman.Copy !req
693. I'm Enchanted Princess.Copy !req
694. True story: I had a woman one time...Copy !req
695. tell me I was in the top four
best lovers she's ever had.Copy !req
696. That's a true story.Copy !req
697. And she had been around the block.Copy !req
698. Would you want to watch me
play with myself?Copy !req
699. Goodbye.Copy !req
700. Come on, let's go.Copy !req
701. Break yourself, fool.Copy !req
702. You best be getting out of that Mach 5
or I'll toe-tag your ass.Copy !req
703. You know, they say that the first kill...Copy !req
704. is supposed to be quite difficult.Copy !req
705. But I find it easy. In fact, rather fun.Copy !req
706. Take it. Do it.Copy !req
707. Look, Ma, no eyes.Copy !req
708. I didn't have a mother!Copy !req
709. That was better than sex with a camel.Copy !req
710. What? We're just playing
with my monkey.Copy !req
711. Let's roll.Copy !req
712. Oh, my!Copy !req
713. Come on!Copy !req
714. Run.Copy !req
715. We gotta keep going.Copy !req
716. These glass slippers
are awfully hard to run in.Copy !req
717. Help. Help.Copy !req
718. Amy.Copy !req
719. - You came back for me.
- I love you, Amy.Copy !req
720. I know. I love you too.Copy !req
721. Now get this freaking spear
out of my shoulder.Copy !req
722. Yeah.Copy !req
723. - Okay.
- It hurts.Copy !req
724. Okay. All right.Copy !req
725. She's pinned through to the floor, guys.Copy !req
726. This isn't gonna be easy.
Calvin, I'm gonna need your help.Copy !req
727. Right.Copy !req
728. - What was that for?
- I was trying to knock her unconscious...Copy !req
729. so she wouldn't feel pain.Copy !req
730. Good thinking.Copy !req
731. - Baby, this is for your own good.
- Okay.Copy !req
732. Man, you hit like a pussy. Let me try.Copy !req
733. Man, this girl can take a hit.Copy !req
734. Why?Copy !req
735. It's not working.
Let's just pull it out of her.Copy !req
736. On the count of three.Copy !req
737. One, two, three.Copy !req
738. Good job.Copy !req
739. We gotta get out of here.
This place is gonna collapse.Copy !req
740. No. Not until we return this...Copy !req
741. back to the altar.Copy !req
742. A magic bong.Copy !req
743. The crystal skull.
The one from my dreams.Copy !req
744. Now, legend has it that if the
crystal skull is missing from the altar...Copy !req
745. it's the end of the world.
Earthquakes...Copy !req
746. asteroids, return of the Spice Girls.Copy !req
747. Yes!Copy !req
748. The apocalypse.Copy !req
749. And you know this shit
because you're the docent?Copy !req
750. I saw Indiana Jones and the Kingdom
of the Crystal Skull.Copy !req
751. Do you know what this means?Copy !req
752. Me dreaming about the skull,
and you knowing about the skull?Copy !req
753. - That we were destined to be together?
- No, that we both really love skulls.Copy !req
754. But that too.Copy !req
755. Will, we gotta get out of here.
It's almost 9:Copy !req
756. If we don't make it to them
evacuation buses, we're gonna die.Copy !req
757. Go, Calvin.Copy !req
758. I'm staying here with Amy.
We're returning the skull to the altar.Copy !req
759. - See you.
- Nice meeting you.Copy !req
760. Let's find that altar.Copy !req
761. What's happening?Copy !req
762. Everything in the museum
is coming to life.Copy !req
763. Hell, no!Copy !req
764. Bully! Bully!Copy !req
765. Yes!Copy !req
766. - Let's get the hell up out of here.
- Drugs are great.Copy !req
767. - The altar to the crystal skull is this way.
- Okay.Copy !req
768. I am Beowulf.Copy !req
769. Hello.Copy !req
770. What?Copy !req
771. I am Beowulf.Copy !req
772. - Can you put some clothes on?
- I am Beowulf.Copy !req
773. I fought the monster Grendel with
no armor, and that is how I'll fight you.Copy !req
774. Wait. You fight naked?Copy !req
775. I am Beowulf.Copy !req
776. That's kind of gay, bro.Copy !req
777. It's not... It's not gay. It's...Copy !req
778. No, I'm sorry. That's gay.Copy !req
779. It's not gay. It's not.Copy !req
780. It's how we do it in 57, dick.Copy !req
781. - Ask anybody.
- All right, I will. I'll ask my friend Paul.Copy !req
782. We're boating tomorrow.
I'll ask him when we're out in the seas.Copy !req
783. - Paul?
- My friend Paul, who is my partner.Copy !req
784. He's my friend. We're also partners.Copy !req
785. - Life partner?
- No, business partners.Copy !req
786. We opened an antique shop together.Copy !req
787. - That's gay.
- Why is that gay?Copy !req
788. Why are antiques gay? Because
I like old things that are kitschy?Copy !req
789. I'm Beowulf!Copy !req
790. Excuse me, are you ready
to get your ass kicked?Copy !req
791. Oh, hell, no, Kung Fu Panda.Copy !req
792. You shouldn't have done that.Copy !req
793. Get ready to feel the thunder.Copy !req
794. Your girl looks familiar, man.Copy !req
795. Last year, I paid her 2 bucks
for 2 minutes, if you know what I mean.Copy !req
796. It's true. And a curious factoid:Copy !req
797. Pandas actually have
three descending testicles.Copy !req
798. That's it.Copy !req
799. Oh, shit.Copy !req
800. Oh, wonderful job.Copy !req
801. My dear prince
You have defended my honorCopy !req
802. Kiss me, baby.Copy !req
803. - You a dude?
- I'm a trannie. I thought you knew.Copy !req
804. No.Copy !req
805. Get him, Will.Copy !req
806. - I am Beowulf.
- Yeah, I know already.Copy !req
807. Surrender so we can go get brunch.Copy !req
808. And I got us tickets to Jersey Boys.Copy !req
809. No.Copy !req
810. We can go to my place.Copy !req
811. I TiVo'd Dancing with the Stars,
results show.Copy !req
812. - No!
- Beowulf!Copy !req
813. I wanna take you
on Rosie O'Donnell's cruise.Copy !req
814. Just me, you,
and my dear friend George Takei.Copy !req
815. Screw this.Copy !req
816. I'm Beowulf!Copy !req
817. Beowulf out.Copy !req
818. Hurry, we're running out of time.Copy !req
819. Indiana Jones?Copy !req
820. Indiana, my ass.Copy !req
821. I'll take it from here.Copy !req
822. Thanks, son.
That's right, I'm your father.Copy !req
823. - You're my dad?
- Your mom got around.Copy !req
824. - A real slut, actually.
- Right, I get it.Copy !req
825. She did this special thing...Copy !req
826. with her big toe and candle wax...
- Okay.Copy !req
827. I'm sorry I walked out
on you and your mother.Copy !req
828. But I got an adventurous spirit...Copy !req
829. and a hot-ass whore
in every major city.Copy !req
830. What do we have here?Copy !req
831. Is this your girl?Copy !req
832. - Yeah.
- What a nice young lady.Copy !req
833. And you got some shape on you.Copy !req
834. Yeah, baby. You're so nice.Copy !req
835. - And you got some ass on you.
- Dad.Copy !req
836. - Oh, so beautiful.
- Dad.Copy !req
837. If a nice ass meant a hamburger,
baby, you'd have a Whopper.Copy !req
838. - Oh, shit.
- Dad.Copy !req
839. Do you do Pilates?
I'm just asking. Just asking.Copy !req
840. Don't do what your old man did.
Settle down.Copy !req
841. Hell, I got gonorrhea so many times...Copy !req
842. my johnson looked like a melted
Baby Ruth.Copy !req
843. Hell, in the '7s, my nickname was
Chlamydia Jones.Copy !req
844. There is no cure for herpes,
and I bullshit you not.Copy !req
845. Thanks, Dad.Copy !req
846. - This looks easy.
- Not as easy as it used to be.Copy !req
847. Oh, shit, my hip.Copy !req
848. - You know I gotta get my hustle on.
- Bye, Dad.Copy !req
849. I'm gonna make it.Copy !req
850. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.Copy !req
851. Oh, shit!Copy !req
852. That hurts. Oh, shit!Copy !req
853. Why don't you just walk to the altar?
It's like 1 feet away.Copy !req
854. Silly girl.Copy !req
855. No, don't cry. I'll be fine.Copy !req
856. I am the Guru Shitka.Copy !req
857. And we are here today
to bring together Amy and Will...Copy !req
858. in a union of peace and happiness.Copy !req
859. And to point out, gee,
Amy, you are totally hot. TM.Copy !req
860. Amy, do you take Will...Copy !req
861. to be your peanut butter and jelly
that goes into your love belly?Copy !req
862. I do.Copy !req
863. And, Will, do you take Amy
to be your doughnut of love...Copy !req
864. that you'll fill with cream every day?Copy !req
865. I do.Copy !req
866. Well, in that case, give her a pound.Copy !req
867. Lock it down.Copy !req
868. Break the pickle.Copy !req
869. Now, tickle my pickle.Copy !req
870. I love you, Will.Copy !req
871. I love you too, Amy.Copy !req
872. But there's something I should tell you.Copy !req
873. What is it?Copy !req
874. I'm fucking Matt DamonCopy !req
875. You're fucking Matt Damon?Copy !req
876. Well, I'm fucking Hannah MontanaCopy !req
877. She's fucking Hannah MontanaCopy !req
878. Backstage at my concert
Fucks me on my parents' bedCopy !req
879. After school, at my locker,
In the car I give her headCopy !req
880. I'm also fucking the FlavaCopy !req
881. Yeah, boy
She's fucking Flava-Flav, foolCopy !req
882. You know what time it is
Because I'm fucking Juney tooCopy !req
883. Yeah, I know, but it's true
Flava-Flav, he fucks me tooCopy !req
884. And I swap with Calvin
And he swaps with that dudeCopy !req
885. And we're all fucking HellboyCopy !req
886. Yeah, they're fucking Hellboy
And I'm fucking the HulkCopy !req
887. When I get really mad
I start fucking Iron ManCopy !req
888. A most uncomfortable screw
But I fuck the princess tooCopy !req
889. Who's that ringing on my bell?Copy !req
890. The bitch who's fucking Iron ManCopy !req
891. That's l-R-O-N M-A-N
And I fuck him in the mouthCopy !req
892. That's fucking great
Because I'm fucking WolfCopy !req
893. He's fucking Wolf
Ain't that a pity?Copy !req
894. Because I'm fucking those bitches
From Sex and the CityCopy !req
895. He fucks the Sex and the City galsCopy !req
896. So I wondered:
Would Wolf really get jealous...Copy !req
897. if he knew we were fucking
that guy with the big utility belt?Copy !req
898. They're all fucking BatmanCopy !req
899. At Wayne Manor, in the Batcave
Butler Alfred is our love slaveCopy !req
900. Riddle me this
Holy bathhouseCopy !req
901. I'm fucking Amy Winehouse?Copy !req
902. He's fucking Amy WinehouseCopy !req
903. Yeah, on the down-low, low, lowCopy !req
904. And I'm fucking Jessica SimpsonCopy !req
905. 'Cause I'm on blow, blow, blowCopy !req
906. She's fucking Jessica Simpson
Oh, yeahCopy !req
907. And I think I might have fucked
That hot assassinCopy !req
908. Everyone's fucked me
And I've fucked them back, you seeCopy !req
909. And the Mexican too
With the tragic hairdoCopy !req
910. Call it, heads, I'm fucking J. T.Copy !req
911. I'm fucking that male model
'Cause he's so fineCopy !req
912. And I like to get up
In them Calvin KleinsCopy !req
913. It's true, J. T. Fucked my ass again
But I'm also fucking Prince CaspianCopy !req
914. I am handsome and I am coolCopy !req
915. That's why this prince
Fucks the kids from high schoolCopy !req
916. - Come on
- Let's hear itCopy !req
917. - Now's the time to party
- Let me hear youCopy !req
918. - You know what time it is?
- No, what time is it?Copy !req
919. - It's time to get fucked
- Fuck meCopy !req
920. - No, fuck me
- Fuck meCopy !req
921. He fucks all us kids in high schoolCopy !req
922. Under the bleachers, in the showers
While we're changing for gym classCopy !req
923. - I'm fucking Oprah
- I'm fucking ObamaCopy !req
924. I'm fucking Indiana's assCopy !req
925. She's fucking Indiana
And I'm fucking HancockCopy !req
926. He's fucking Hancock
And I'm fucking BeowulfCopy !req
927. You know you like it
And I'm fucking Kung Fu PandaCopy !req
928. And I'm fucking Michael JacksonCopy !req
929. Don't judge me
I love my animals, you seeCopy !req
930. Oh, yeah, he's fucking the ChipmunksCopy !req
931. Sad to say, but it's true
He fucks the Chipmunks, yeahCopy !req
932. You just got Wolfed.Copy !req
933. That's a little move I learned in jail.Copy !req
934. Yeah, I was in jail.Copy !req
935. Wolf wrote some bad checks in '95.Copy !req
936. Left foot, yellow.Copy !req
937. Oh, that's right, I fall.Copy !req
938. Sorry about that. This is mine.
Sorry. I'm sorry.Copy !req
939. Wait. Oh, this is my jam.Copy !req
940. Oh, okay. You get on it.Copy !req
941. I am Beowulf.Copy !req
942. I'm the strongest man
in seven kingdoms.Copy !req
943. Let myself go a little bit.Copy !req
944. Got a little bit flabby.Copy !req
945. I went on that Zone Diet...Copy !req
946. but I would eat like a whole week's
worth of meals in like two days...Copy !req
947. and then be back to square one.Copy !req
948. If you've got crack anywhere,
I don't care where it comes from...Copy !req
949. If it's in your crack...
If the crack's in your crack.Copy !req
950. "If the crack's in your crack."
Oh, that's rich.Copy !req
951. You ever been
with a bald doctor before?Copy !req
952. - No.
- We give better...Copy !req
953. Do I look like Harrison Ford to you?Copy !req
954. - He your pimp?
- Oh, good heavens, yes.Copy !req
955. Oh, what to do? Yes, I've got it.Copy !req
956. You can be my prince of light,
and you can be my prince of darkness.Copy !req
957. - Yes. No? Okay.
- No.Copy !req
958. Left foot, yellow.Copy !req
959. Look at this onion.Copy !req
960. Baby, how did you get into it with him.
You should be with me.Copy !req
961. Also, when I make love to a girl,
she's also been Wolfed.Copy !req
962. I don't hit her with a stick,
I just have sex with her.Copy !req
963. Or him. Doesn't matter.Copy !req
964. Wolf goes both ways,
you know what I'm saying?Copy !req
965. I got us tickets
to Madonna's reunion show...Copy !req
966. and then I wanna
kiss your sweet face.Copy !req
967. No!Copy !req
968. Take it from the top again.
She says, "Hello."Copy !req
969. Don't hit her so hard.
Just hit her really lightly.Copy !req
970. Okay?Copy !req
971. Good enough for me.Copy !req
972. It's all very funny.Copy !req
973. Cut.Copy !req
974. Oh, it's my Blake, incarcerated.
Hi, Blakey.Copy !req
975. How are you? I love you.Copy !req
976. He did not kill those three prostitutes.Copy !req
977. They were already dead when he
got to them. I'm swearing to God.Copy !req
978. Look, I have to tell you something.
I'm not really a banker.Copy !req
979. As my voice cracks.Copy !req
980. Look, I have something to tell you.
I'm not really a banker. I'm a jumper.Copy !req
981. I can teleport through space and time.Copy !req
982. - What is it again? Time and space.
- Time and space.Copy !req
983. Look, I have something to tell you.Copy !req
984. I'm not really a banker. I'm a jumper.Copy !req
985. - A what?
- I can teleport through time...Copy !req
986. You're a talking panda.Copy !req
987. Come back to my magical kingdom,
and I'll show you my talking beaver.Copy !req
988. It just keeps coming.Copy !req
989. Knock, knock. Who's there?
Milk in your mouth.Copy !req
990. Hey, is my singing stick on?
It is on? Is the singing stick on?Copy !req
991. You know, everyone wants to know
where I got my:Copy !req
992. It all started one night
when I was crying in my truck.Copy !req
993. Yeah. I ain't crying no more, man.Copy !req
994. Fourteenth highest-rated show on TV.Copy !req
995. I got a time-share in Key West.Copy !req
996. Oh, baby, I make shoesCopy !req
997. And these are my boobsCopy !req
998. I want you to see me
in my birthday suit.Copy !req
999. I want you to watch me
take a bubble bath.Copy !req
1000. I'm gonna play around with the bubbles
and make a little beard.Copy !req
1001. Pretend I'm Santa Claus.Copy !req
1002. Oh, son, I'm loving this.Copy !req
1003. Hang on a bit.
You're a bit of stuff, aren't you?Copy !req
1004. Look at you.
What are you packing under there?Copy !req
1005. What are you hiding under that?Copy !req
1006. I can see your sausage and biscuits.Copy !req
1007. I love sausage and biscuits.Copy !req
1008. Wonderful!Copy !req
1009. I'd like to get you naked
and analyze you.Copy !req
1010. Oh, shit.Copy !req
1011. Do you like this shirt?
I totally made it myself.Copy !req
1012. Well, it's because I ripped it.
It's because I burned it.Copy !req
1013. I was leaning over my birthday candles.Copy !req
1014. I was gonna blow them out,
make a wish.Copy !req
1015. Instead my shirt caught on fire.Copy !req
1016. Son, if you go back for your girlfriend,
you have zero chance of survival.Copy !req
1017. I'll take those odds.Copy !req
1018. Do you hear that train?Copy !req
1019. Son, if you go back for your girlfriend,
you have zero chance of survival.Copy !req
1020. I'll take those odds.Copy !req
1021. You hear that train again?
You hear that again, that second time?Copy !req
1022. Son, if you go back for your girlfriend,
you have zero chance of survival.Copy !req
1023. I'll take those...Copy !req
1024. Train. I knew it was coming too. Yeah.Copy !req
1025. - Is that the train we should catch?
- No, no. Take a...Copy !req
1026. Couple more?Copy !req
1027. You're hot. Are those things real?Copy !req
1028. Hey, everybody, be sure to remember
to always use Proactiv. It helped me.Copy !req
1029. It helped my skin
It helped my skinCopy !req
1030. It helped my skin
It helped my skin, babyCopy !req
1031. It helped me. I used to have it
all around this part of my face...Copy !req
1032. and all around my talking hole...Copy !req
1033. and then out of this squishy part
right here.Copy !req
1034. I had it everywhere, and now it's gone.Copy !req
1035. There's a medical term
for what you do to me: Horny.Copy !req