1. Want to grab that?Copy !req
2. I can't believe it's so crowded.
School isn't even out yet.Copy !req
3. Maybe we should come back.Copy !req
4. How about never?
That sound good?Copy !req
5. A family swim
is a great way to kick off the summer.Copy !req
6. Let's not forget, opening day is free!Copy !req
7. I hate going in there.Copy !req
8. Remember,
move fast and keep your eyes down.Copy !req
9. Sorry. Excuse me.Copy !req
10. Greg!Copy !req
11. I'm going to see if I can get a good spot.
Watch Manny.Copy !req
12. What? But...Copy !req
13. Manny?Copy !req
14. Manny, no!Copy !req
15. Washing my hands.Copy !req
16. No, no, no.Copy !req
17. But I'm so close to getting...Copy !req
18. Summertime is for real games,
not video games. Healthy stuff.Copy !req
19. Like, let's see...Copy !req
20. Swimming?Copy !req
21. Time to sell some C.D.'s.Copy !req
22. Are you kidding?Copy !req
23. Rodrick,
you can't play your music that loud.Copy !req
24. Lenwood?Copy !req
25. Is that Lenwood Heath?Copy !req
26. Mr. Heffley, it's good to see you.Copy !req
27. Mrs. Heffley.Copy !req
28. Hi.Copy !req
29. So... you've changed.Copy !req
30. I've been going to Spag Union Prep School.Copy !req
31. They really turned me around.Copy !req
32. You may remember
I was a bit of a troublemaker.Copy !req
33. Nah.Copy !req
34. You're cleaning all this up!
You hear me?Copy !req
35. So, Spag Union,
what grade does that start?Copy !req
36. Eighth grade, sir.Copy !req
37. You're going into the eighth grade.Copy !req
38. Cannonball!Copy !req
39. It's good to see you, sir. Ma'am.Copy !req
40. He called me "sir".Copy !req
41. He used to be so cool. Like me.Copy !req
42. Löded Diper.Copy !req
43. Bubby, over here!Copy !req
44. Greg, honey, go help your brother.Copy !req
45. What's so funny?Copy !req
46. I'm peeing!Copy !req
47. I have one more week of school,
then it's summer vacation.Copy !req
48. Which sounds great, but for me,Copy !req
49. summer vacation is basically
a three-month guilt trip.Copy !req
50. Just because the weather's nice,Copy !req
51. everyone expects you
to be out all day frolicking.Copy !req
52. But the truth is, I've always been
more of an indoor person.Copy !req
53. To me, the perfect way to spend
summer vacationCopy !req
54. is in front of the TV playing video games.Copy !req
55. Unfortunately, my dad's idea of a perfect
summer is the opposite of mine.Copy !req
56. The real problem is, me and my dad
have nothing in common.Copy !req
57. But as long as I stay
one step ahead of him...Copy !req
58. I think I have a shot at a fun summer.Copy !req
59. Last day of school!Copy !req
60. I know. It's kind of sad.Copy !req
61. Sad? Are you crazy?Copy !req
62. I'm going to play video games all summer.
It's going to be awesome.Copy !req
63. There's one person I will miss.Copy !req
64. Hey, guys!Copy !req
65. Hi, Holly!Copy !req
66. You'll see her when school starts again.Copy !req
67. In three months?
A lot can happen in three months.Copy !req
68. Hey, Holly. How was your summer?Copy !req
69. Great! I got married.Copy !req
70. You know my husband... Chirag.Copy !req
71. Hello, Gregory.Copy !req
72. Last period of the school year!Copy !req
73. But it is still a school day, so...Copy !req
74. open Discovering History to chapter 7.Copy !req
75. It's the last day of school.
Like anyone brought their books.Copy !req
76. Classic Greg Heffley.Copy !req
77. I pity him.Copy !req
78. Of course you're not prepared.Copy !req
79. Mr. Draybick, I'd be honored
to share my book with Greg Heffley.Copy !req
80. Fregley claims to wear a special cologne,
but everyone knows he just never washes.Copy !req
81. That's great!Copy !req
82. Rowley.Copy !req
83. I need to make a connection
with Holly this summer.Copy !req
84. I'm tired of being...Copy !req
85. "friends".Copy !req
86. What's wrong with being "friends"?
We're friends.Copy !req
87. I'll get her to sign my yearbook.Copy !req
88. She signs lots of yearbooks.Copy !req
89. But when she signs mine, I'll ask her
to write her phone number, too.Copy !req
90. Okay!Copy !req
91. The rest of the class is free time.Copy !req
92. Enjoy.Copy !req
93. Hey, Holly.
What are you doing this summer?Copy !req
94. Just regular summer stuff.Copy !req
95. Volunteering at the shelter,
building with Habitat for Humanity...Copy !req
96. and giving tennis lessons to little kids.Copy !req
97. What about you?Copy !req
98. He's going to get to the end
of Twisted Wizard 2 this summer!Copy !req
99. If I have time
because of all the other stuff I'm doing.Copy !req
100. Hey, can I sign your yearbook?Copy !req
101. Yeah, sure.
You're only in seventh grade once.Copy !req
102. That's not always true, by the way.Copy !req
103. I think Andy Spitz
has been in seventh grade for four years.Copy !req
104. And... why don't you write down
your phone number, too?Copy !req
105. Okay.Copy !req
106. Let's go!Copy !req
107. Bye!Copy !req
108. No!Copy !req
109. Gregory!Copy !req
110. Help me! Help me!Copy !req
111. Would you sign my yearbook?Copy !req
112. Of course!Copy !req
113. Holly, you didn't finish writing...Copy !req
114. Isn't that your brother?Copy !req
115. Löded Diper's coming to rock
a town near you!Copy !req
116. You're getting your yearbooks signed?
That is so cute.Copy !req
117. What the heck?Copy !req
118. Honey, Greg was sick on picture day.Copy !req
119. Did you send in a photo of him
for the yearbook?Copy !req
120. Yeah! I remembered!Copy !req
121. That's Heather Hills.Copy !req
122. Get in.Copy !req
123. But I need to finish
signing Greg's yearbook.Copy !req
124. News flash. I don't care.Copy !req
125. Sorry.Copy !req
126. But you didn't...Copy !req
127. So... Heather.Copy !req
128. I'm going on a world tour with my band.Copy !req
129. If you're around,
I could comp you chicks some tickets.Copy !req
130. - Let's go.
- Wait! Holly!Copy !req
131. She was trying to act cool,
but I know she was into me.Copy !req
132. "Rowley, you are so cute."
Cute's underlined three times!Copy !req
133. "Stay cool. XOXO, Holly."
What did she write in yours?Copy !req
134. "Have a great summer.
You're such a good... friend."Copy !req
135. "Friend"?Copy !req
136. Oh, man!Copy !req
137. That's the kiss of death. "Friend".
That sucks!Copy !req
138. Despite Rodrick's negative attitude,
I have very clear goals for the summer.Copy !req
139. One, play video games.
Two, get together with Holly.Copy !req
140. Or three, both at the same time.Copy !req
141. Greg, you're an amazing gamer.Copy !req
142. I know.Copy !req
143. Our neighbors, the Warrens, have kids
that are the outdoorsy type.Copy !req
144. That's okay, but...Copy !req
145. my dad has this crazy idea
that physical exercise is normal.Copy !req
146. Those guys are setting a bad example.Copy !req
147. My dad has his eye on me,
so the key to a successful summer...Copy !req
148. will be to stay one move ahead.Copy !req
149. Those Warren boys
are already up, raring to go.Copy !req
150. Our boys probably
won't even get up till noon.Copy !req
151. I'm sorry. Did you say something?Copy !req
152. What are you doing up?Copy !req
153. It's the first day of vacation.
Did you think I'd just lie around all day?Copy !req
154. Actually, that's exactly what I thought.Copy !req
155. I can't find Manny's Tingy.Copy !req
156. You know, it's probably time...Copy !req
157. for him to move on
from that ratty old blanket anyway.Copy !req
158. Manny was given Tingy
right after he was born.Copy !req
159. Back then, Tingy was a fluffy blue blanket.Copy !req
160. But now, it's a couple of pieces of yarn
held together with raisins and boogers.Copy !req
161. You don't think he cares anymore?Copy !req
162. I'm sure it'll turn up.Copy !req
163. What?Copy !req
164. Look at this garbage.Copy !req
165. My dad and I don't agree on anything,
except for...Copy !req
166. the comic Li'l Cutie. We both hate it.
But we can't stop reading it!Copy !req
167. You're my BFF... Best Father Forever!Copy !req
168. - It's not even a joke!
- I know.Copy !req
169. Can we please focus?
We need to find Manny's Tingy.Copy !req
170. I'm going to be late for work.Copy !req
171. See you!Copy !req
172. Vacation is on!Copy !req
173. Greg.Copy !req
174. Are you really going to sit inside
all day and play video games?Copy !req
175. Hey, Dad.Copy !req
176. Are you... sweating?Copy !req
177. Yeah, I just finished up
some sports... playing.Copy !req
178. How was your day?Copy !req
179. Horrible! Manny still hasn't recovered
from losing Tingy.Copy !req
180. Well, maybe it's for the best.
I think he should really move on.Copy !req
181. Tingy!Copy !req
182. Tingy! Oh, my gosh, honey,
you found your blanket!Copy !req
183. This is great, but how did it end up in the...Copy !req
184. - Garbage?
- Frank?Copy !req
185. Yeah?Copy !req
186. You didn't.Copy !req
187. I didn't...Copy !req
188. know...Copy !req
189. that it meant that much to him anymore.Copy !req
190. How could you?Copy !req
191. - Good morning.
- Morning!Copy !req
192. Congratulations, player,
all your hard work has paid off.Copy !req
193. You're now a Level Nine Necromancer!Copy !req
194. You played video games all day.Copy !req
195. Me?Copy !req
196. No. I've been playing sports.Copy !req
197. That's it! No more video games
for the rest of the summer!Copy !req
198. You can't do that!Copy !req
199. Oh, yeah, I can! I will! I am!Copy !req
200. I'm unplugging it!Copy !req
201. Does the DVD or the cable box go into...Copy !req
202. Does the DVD player go into the cable...Copy !req
203. You think this is funny?Copy !req
204. It's amusing.Copy !req
205. Well, then how about no video games and...Copy !req
206. no television for the rest of the summer?
Does that make you laugh?Copy !req
207. Dad, no!Copy !req
208. I stopped laughing!Copy !req
209. Guess who's the laugher now?
Me! I'm the laugher!Copy !req
210. I'm the laughingest laugher
that ever laughed!Copy !req
211. Funny stuff!Copy !req
212. I'm going to work on my battle diorama.Copy !req
213. Frank!Copy !req
214. What are you doing? First Tingy,
and now Greg's video games?Copy !req
215. General Lee isn't going to paint himself.Copy !req
216. This is important.Copy !req
217. You can't take away everything
they love and disappear downstairs.Copy !req
218. You need to get to Greg's level
and really engage with him.Copy !req
219. Find an activity you both enjoy.Copy !req
220. What are we going to do,
play Twisted Warlock all day?Copy !req
221. I hate to say it, but we have absolutely
nothing in common.Copy !req
222. What Greg needs is a role model.Copy !req
223. Someone he can look up to.
Sit down and talk with him.Copy !req
224. I do, but he doesn't listen to me.Copy !req
225. Trust me, hanging out together
is no fun for either of us.Copy !req
226. You always complain that your father
never spent enough time with youCopy !req
227. when you were young.Copy !req
228. Now you're doing the same thing.Copy !req
229. Be the father you wish
your father had been.Copy !req
230. You're right.Copy !req
231. I should put in more time.Copy !req
232. That didn't sound good.Copy !req
233. Rise and shine!Copy !req
234. It's Saturday!Copy !req
235. We get to spend the whole day together!Copy !req
236. You know...Copy !req
237. it takes a while to get here
and it's an effort to get the boat out...Copy !req
238. but this is what it's all about.Copy !req
239. You and me,
spending quality time together.Copy !req
240. Okay, buddy, hand me some bait.Copy !req
241. Well...Copy !req
242. we should think about getting back.Copy !req
243. As bad as this was...Copy !req
244. Mom's idea of a good summer activity
was even worse.Copy !req
245. I'm so glad...Copy !req
246. you all decided to become founding
members of the Reading Is Fun Club!Copy !req
247. So...Copy !req
248. let's share the books you brought.Copy !req
249. I'm not so sure these qualify as literature.Copy !req
250. How about I get some real books?
Classics.Copy !req
251. Something to stimulate your minds.Copy !req
252. I'll be right back!Copy !req
253. Thank you so much, Gregory,
for making the summer a time...Copy !req
254. to study and write book reports.Copy !req
255. You think I want to do this?
My summer's turned into a nightmare.Copy !req
256. You should come with me
to the country club!Copy !req
257. It's really fun
and you get to be outside all day.Copy !req
258. Ta-da!Copy !req
259. Let's get this party started!Copy !req
260. What do I do? I want to call Holly,
but the number's no good.Copy !req
261. Only the last two numbers are missing.Copy !req
262. That means there's only
100 different numbers it could be.Copy !req
263. I've got it!Copy !req
264. I'll call every number
it could be until I get the right one.Copy !req
265. Hello? Freggers speaking.Copy !req
266. Hello? Pickup or delivery?Copy !req
267. This is Brad.Copy !req
268. This is the coach.Copy !req
269. Coach Malone?Copy !req
270. Who is this?Copy !req
271. Don't tell him, Greg.Copy !req
272. Greg? Greg who?Copy !req
273. Okay, listen up, "Greg".
I don't know who you are...Copy !req
274. but if you call again,
I'll reach through the phone...Copy !req
275. So far, this is shaping up
to be the worst summer ever.Copy !req
276. Come on!
We'll be late for the Battle of Phillipi!Copy !req
277. Dad's really into Civil War reenactments,
which are basically...Copy !req
278. a bunch of grown men dressed
as soldiers running around in muddy fields.Copy !req
279. I didn't get to carry a gun.
I had the honor of being bugle boy.Copy !req
280. We re-enactors pride ourselves
on being completely authentic.Copy !req
281. Ronnie...Copy !req
282. carved his own buttons
out of black rubber.Copy !req
283. And Artie... his underwear,
made out of horsehair.Copy !req
284. What are you doing?Copy !req
285. It's spring, 1861!Copy !req
286. We're trying to outflank Porterfield's
armies! There's no video games! Come on!Copy !req
287. Okay, okay.Copy !req
288. All right. Now, the deciding factor...Copy !req
289. the reason we win this battle...
is we hold the element of surprise.Copy !req
290. No, we need the element of surprise!Copy !req
291. - That kid ruined everything!
- Let's get him!Copy !req
292. Where are you going?Copy !req
293. It's a reenactment! We won!Copy !req
294. Hey, Greg.
I can't make it to the book club.Copy !req
295. My mom's taking me to the country club.
She said I could invite you.Copy !req
296. No, thanks.Copy !req
297. Let's crack open Little Women
and see what's up with the girls.Copy !req
298. I'll be right over!Copy !req
299. We're going to have so much fun!Copy !req
300. If you say so.Copy !req
301. Up!Copy !req
302. Up! Up!Copy !req
303. Up! Come on!Copy !req
304. Davey, you call that a push-up?Copy !req
305. - Hello, Mrs. Jefferson.
- Hi, Amy.Copy !req
306. Crowded today?Copy !req
307. The nice weather really brought people out.Copy !req
308. Wow! Amy wasn't kidding!Copy !req
309. It is crowded today.Copy !req
310. This is crowded?Copy !req
311. Care for a smoothie?Copy !req
312. - They bring stuff to you?
- Yes, they do.Copy !req
313. Sorry!Copy !req
314. I guess I do like being outside...Copy !req
315. when I'm outside at a country club.Copy !req
316. - It's Holly Hills!
- She's always here.Copy !req
317. She's a member.Copy !req
318. And you didn't think maybe
you should tell me that?Copy !req
319. Now it's step... swing... catch it up high.Copy !req
320. Bye! And remember,
work on your forehand.Copy !req
321. - Hey, Holly.
- Hey, guys!Copy !req
322. I thought you were going to call me.Copy !req
323. I was going to,
but... then I realized I'd see you here.Copy !req
324. So, what are you up to?Copy !req
325. I'm helping the tennis coach.
I give lessons to little kids.Copy !req
326. That's so weird. We're all about tennis!Copy !req
327. Cool! We should play sometime.Copy !req
328. Actually, I've never played...Copy !req
329. We'd love to play!Copy !req
330. What about tomorrow at eleven?Copy !req
331. Eleven's perfect.Copy !req
332. - See you tomorrow!
- Tomorrow it is!Copy !req
333. And that's how you improve your summer.Copy !req
334. No, no.Copy !req
335. More. More. Oh, come on, Manny!Copy !req
336. Hi, Mom.Copy !req
337. Wow.
Somebody looks like they actually had fun.Copy !req
338. Hello!Copy !req
339. Hello.Copy !req
340. - Just the guy I'm looking for.
- Me?Copy !req
341. My office is offering a summer internship.Copy !req
342. And I signed you up for it!Copy !req
343. - What's an internship?
- Well...Copy !req
344. You'll come to my office every day...Copy !req
345. but you'll have your own responsibilities.
It's like a job.Copy !req
346. - Do I get paid?
- No.Copy !req
347. You got me a non-paying job?Copy !req
348. You can be work buddies!Copy !req
349. How long till we go home?Copy !req
350. We got here eight minutes ago!Copy !req
351. It sounds really great, but...Copy !req
352. This is awkward.Copy !req
353. It's just that... I already got a job.Copy !req
354. What? You got a job?Copy !req
355. Yeah!
Rowley invited me to the country club...Copy !req
356. and I saw a "Help Wanted" sign.Copy !req
357. I went to the manager and he hired me.Copy !req
358. He said he liked my pluck.Copy !req
359. Wait.Copy !req
360. You actually got a job?Copy !req
361. Yeah. But I can call and tell him
I can't if you want me...Copy !req
362. No, no! That's fantastic!
Can you believe it, Susan?Copy !req
363. - Our son got himself a job!
- I know.Copy !req
364. Somebody around here
actually did something.Copy !req
365. It's great!Copy !req
366. I think we should tell her
we've never played tennis.Copy !req
367. We played Ultimate Tennis
on the Wii, it's the same thing.Copy !req
368. Hi, guys.Copy !req
369. Hi, Holly!Copy !req
370. Jinx!Copy !req
371. Oh, no. What is she doing here?Copy !req
372. - Should we start with a rally?
- What's that?Copy !req
373. Oh, Rowley. Can you ever be serious?Copy !req
374. They'll let anyone in this place.Copy !req
375. That must be why you're here.Copy !req
376. Let's play doubles.
Patty and me versus you two.Copy !req
377. Okay.Copy !req
378. I'm gonna kill you!Copy !req
379. Sorry.Copy !req
380. Fifteen, love.Copy !req
381. What'd she call me?Copy !req
382. Yes!Copy !req
383. I mean, oops.Copy !req
384. Thirty, love.Copy !req
385. Whatever you say... love!Copy !req
386. What?Copy !req
387. He's a weirdo.Copy !req
388. I got it! I got it!Copy !req
389. Have either of you
actually played tennis before?Copy !req
390. Yeah... Ultimate Tennis on the Wii.Copy !req
391. It's not exactly the same thing.Copy !req
392. I could give you a few pointers.Copy !req
393. You have to follow through. Like this.Copy !req
394. - We have to go. It's an emergency.
- A mega-emergency.Copy !req
395. The printer messed up the invitations
for my Sweet Sixteen.Copy !req
396. What does that have to do with me?Copy !req
397. People have expectations.
Everything has to be perfect!Copy !req
398. You'll never understand
what it's like to be pretty.Copy !req
399. Can you drive me home later?Copy !req
400. Come back for you? No.
It's like ten minutes away!Copy !req
401. Now move it or lose it.Copy !req
402. Wow!Copy !req
403. I know, right?Copy !req
404. I'll see you guys later!Copy !req
405. Bye!Copy !req
406. Not bad for the first day of my fake job.Copy !req
407. Plus, now Dad and I
are both "working men"...Copy !req
408. we get along great.Copy !req
409. Happy Fourth of July!Copy !req
410. "Li'l Cutie cartoonist
to retire in three months"!Copy !req
411. We won't have to read
that garbage anymore!Copy !req
412. Good riddance!Copy !req
413. Every Fourth of July,Copy !req
414. our neighbors, the Warrens,
throw a big party for the whole block.Copy !req
415. Mom and Dad make us all go.
Which is bad...Copy !req
416. because I've been avoiding
Rodrick's built-in lie detector.Copy !req
417. Hey, worker bee.Copy !req
418. You know, you having a job
doesn't pass the smell test.Copy !req
419. Yes, it does. It totally does!Copy !req
420. - Here, sweetie.
- Thanks.Copy !req
421. With my boys, it's go, go, go!
I have to wrestle them in every night.Copy !req
422. Same with my boys.Copy !req
423. They're in my Wilderness Explorers
troop now. They love it!Copy !req
424. I loved being in the Wilderness Explorers.Copy !req
425. - You did?
- Yeah. Loved it.Copy !req
426. That one camping trip we took as kids,
you cried the whole time.Copy !req
427. Well, I broke my arm in two places.Copy !req
428. Cried the whole time.Copy !req
429. Yeah, I...Copy !req
430. It hurt.Copy !req
431. You know what?
You should join the Wilderness Explorers.Copy !req
432. I'm more of an indoor person.Copy !req
433. Exactly. When's the next meeting?Copy !req
434. The waiting list for our troop
is a mile long.Copy !req
435. Everybody wants to join
the best of the best.Copy !req
436. Is that your dog? We grew up with a dog.Copy !req
437. Nutty. Frank named him.Copy !req
438. You can never be too young
to learn responsibility.Copy !req
439. You should get your boys a dog.Copy !req
440. Yeah. That's a great idea.Copy !req
441. I think I'll speak to Dad
about my suspicions.Copy !req
442. Do whatever you want.Copy !req
443. I will.Copy !req
444. Okay! Okay!Copy !req
445. I don't really have a job.Copy !req
446. Holly Hills is a member,Copy !req
447. if I'm at the country club,
I can hang out with her.Copy !req
448. I knew it.Copy !req
449. So is Heather Hills there, too?Copy !req
450. - Heather who?
- I want in.Copy !req
451. I can't get you in there.
I go as Rowley's guest.Copy !req
452. I'll go as your guest.Copy !req
453. I can't bring the guest. I am the guest.
There's no guest for the guest.Copy !req
454. Things are getting complicated.Copy !req
455. But at least something good
came out of the barbecue.Copy !req
456. Introducing...Copy !req
457. the new member of the Heffley family!Copy !req
458. Oh, Frank.Copy !req
459. I wish you'd checked with me first.Copy !req
460. I think this is more of a family decision.Copy !req
461. - Who's a good puppy?
- We can call him Shredder!Copy !req
462. - No.
- Ripjaw?Copy !req
463. We can call him Sweetie.Copy !req
464. Sweetie!Copy !req
465. Sweetie, that's a great name!Copy !req
466. Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
467. Dad was willing to go
with any name Mom wantedCopy !req
468. if it meant
he didn't have to take the dog back.Copy !req
469. Sweetie!Copy !req
470. Sweetie.Copy !req
471. Sweetie! Sweetie!Copy !req
472. I always thought I wanted a dog, but...Copy !req
473. I'm having second thoughts.Copy !req
474. All right, ready? Sit. Sit!Copy !req
475. Good! Hey, did you see that?Copy !req
476. Okay, now shake.Copy !req
477. Shake. Shake.Copy !req
478. Here you go.Copy !req
479. "Sweaty"?Copy !req
480. I'm pretty sure it spells Sweetie, Dad.Copy !req
481. Wow.Copy !req
482. I love you.Copy !req
483. With Sweetie around, I'd hopedCopy !req
484. Dad would forget about
joining the Wilderness Explorers.Copy !req
485. But Dad connected
with his old troop master.Copy !req
486. As your father knows...Copy !req
487. we take our scouting
very seriously in Troop 133.Copy !req
488. It's true.Copy !req
489. Only the very best
get to be part of this troop.Copy !req
490. It's so great to be back here,
Troop Master Barrett!Copy !req
491. Now, you boys get yourselves a uniform,
and the first thing you'll do...Copy !req
492. is clean out
that musty old storage locker.Copy !req
493. Oh, really? Okay.Copy !req
494. Dad got more than he bargained for.Copy !req
495. But he couldn't wiggle out of it,
that would set a bad example.Copy !req
496. Whittling is the kind of skill
you'll need...Copy !req
497. for our upcoming wilderness weekend.Copy !req
498. I'm getting splinters.Copy !req
499. This is impossible.Copy !req
500. I have finished, Troop Master Barrett!Copy !req
501. It seems the only break I'll get this
summer is at the country club.Copy !req
502. That is, as long as Rodrick
doesn't ruin things.Copy !req
503. Don't forget about me.Copy !req
504. Go around the back!Copy !req
505. Marco!Copy !req
506. Polo!Copy !req
507. Marco!Copy !req
508. Polo!Copy !req
509. Rodrick?Copy !req
510. Rodrick!Copy !req
511. Hello, guvnor!
Top of the crumpet to you!Copy !req
512. Where's the nearest loo, mate?
Mustered up a wee little tinkle!Copy !req
513. I don't want to sound like a snob,Copy !req
514. but I'm not sure Rodrick
is country club material.Copy !req
515. Marco!Copy !req
516. Polo!Copy !req
517. Wow! You can hold your breath
a really long time!Copy !req
518. Would you like another smoothie?Copy !req
519. No, thanks. Polo!Copy !req
520. I'd like to order a few things.Copy !req
521. He's not serious.Copy !req
522. I'm very serious. Two orders of fries,
vanilla shake extra thick...Copy !req
523. and anything with bacon on it.Copy !req
524. Fish out of water!Copy !req
525. Finally! I thought I'd never find you!Copy !req
526. What's Rodrick doing here?Copy !req
527. I got invited! You got a problem?Copy !req
528. No! No problem!Copy !req
529. Mom is going to kill you!
When did you get a tattoo?Copy !req
530. There's a lot you don't know about me,
Greggy.Copy !req
531. Having Rodrick at the country club
really made me nervous.Copy !req
532. I told him to keep a low profile.
I didn't want to get fired from my fake job.Copy !req
533. But, of course, he didn't listen.Copy !req
534. It's Heather Hills time.Copy !req
535. Don't go over there.Copy !req
536. I'm not. She's coming to me.Copy !req
537. Rodrick did have a plan.Copy !req
538. Unfortunately, he came up with it himself.Copy !req
539. I guess he saw Heather's lifeguard outfit
and figured she'd be into...Copy !req
540. saving people and stuff.Copy !req
541. Cramp!Copy !req
542. Excuse me.
What time does the snack bar close?Copy !req
543. What am I, a guidebook?
Come back when you're drowning.Copy !req
544. Cramp!Copy !req
545. There's no need to be mean.Copy !req
546. Help! Hey, look, I'm drowning! Hey!Copy !req
547. Listen, shrimp, the reason I'm here
in this ridiculous outfitCopy !req
548. is to get credit for my college application.Copy !req
549. Oh! I can't...Copy !req
550. I'm drowning!Copy !req
551. So bounce.Copy !req
552. Cramp! Help! Help!Copy !req
553. - What the...
- I got you!Copy !req
554. Who are you?Copy !req
555. - I don't even know you!
- You're okay.Copy !req
556. What is happening?Copy !req
557. Guess what?Copy !req
558. We're going to the shore this weekend
and my mom said I could invite you!Copy !req
559. The boardwalk's awesome.Copy !req
560. Go on the Cranium Shaker.
You haven't lived till you've done that.Copy !req
561. You should come!Copy !req
562. I think most people would agree
I'm a pretty likeable kid...Copy !req
563. but for some reason, I've never clicked
with Mr. Jefferson.Copy !req
564. Greg. Honey.Copy !req
565. Your father and I
have something to give you.Copy !req
566. You've showed us you're
responsible enough to have one.Copy !req
567. Your own cell phone.Copy !req
568. Are you serious? My own cell phone?Copy !req
569. It doesn't have a keypad.Copy !req
570. It's a starter phone.
You can call home or 911.Copy !req
571. We didn't want to overwhelm you.Copy !req
572. Thanks.Copy !req
573. Have a good time!Copy !req
574. See you.Copy !req
575. - We're going to the boardwalk!
- I can't wait to ride the Cranium Shaker!Copy !req
576. The Cranium Shaker?Copy !req
577. You're too funny, Greg.Copy !req
578. Who wants to sing?Copy !req
579. Me!Copy !req
580. Five thousand bottles of milk on the wall
Five thousand bottles of milkCopy !req
581. Take one down, pass it aroundCopy !req
582. Four thousand nine hundred ninety-nine
Bottles of milk on the wallCopy !req
583. Sixteen bottles of milk on the wall
Sixteen bottles of milkCopy !req
584. Take one down, pass it around
Fifteen bottles of milk on the wallCopy !req
585. We're so far from the boardwalk.Copy !req
586. Oh, yeah! It's much quieter up here!Copy !req
587. Why don't we play "I love you because"?Copy !req
588. I'll start.Copy !req
589. I love you because...Copy !req
590. you're silly and you make me laugh.Copy !req
591. My turn.Copy !req
592. I love you because...Copy !req
593. you help me keep my body clean!Copy !req
594. Your turn, Greg.Copy !req
595. Land on me, land on me!Copy !req
596. I love you because...Copy !req
597. your mustache is... really...Copy !req
598. because...Copy !req
599. How do you even win this game?Copy !req
600. It's awfully crowded here.Copy !req
601. It's quieter at the amusement park.Copy !req
602. Who wants ice cream?Copy !req
603. - Strawberry!
- Vanilla for me.Copy !req
604. Rocky Road! Thanks.Copy !req
605. We like to share, it's more fun that way.Copy !req
606. Would you like some?Copy !req
607. Oh, no, thanks.Copy !req
608. I just remembered I'm lactose intolerant.Copy !req
609. Meet us back here in exactly one hour.Copy !req
610. And no scary rides for you boys.Copy !req
611. Got it.Copy !req
612. Cranium Shaker, here we come.Copy !req
613. But my mom said...Copy !req
614. We'll come back later
when the line goes down.Copy !req
615. There's no line!Copy !req
616. I did promise my mom
we wouldn't go on any scary rides.Copy !req
617. But Rodrick says you haven't lived till
you've been on the Cranium Shaker.Copy !req
618. - Have you been on this ride?
- It's way scary.Copy !req
619. Did you hear what happened last summer?Copy !req
620. My brother knows a guyCopy !req
621. whose second cousin's half-brother
went on this ride and got decapitated.Copy !req
622. - No way!
- Way.Copy !req
623. It's true. I was working the ride that day.Copy !req
624. The car came down
and his head... wasn't in it.Copy !req
625. When you guys get to the top...Copy !req
626. be sure not to rock the car
back and forth.Copy !req
627. That's how...Copy !req
628. He said not to rock the car!Copy !req
629. Or our heads will be torn off!Copy !req
630. Greg, in case we don't make it,
there's something I have to tell you.Copy !req
631. One time, I went to the bathroom
and I didn't wash my hands.Copy !req
632. One time, I used your toothbrush
to get dog poop off my shoe.Copy !req
633. Wait. What?Copy !req
634. Slow it down, slow it down, slow it down!Copy !req
635. Greg!Copy !req
636. Rowley!Copy !req
637. Greg, Greg!Copy !req
638. Please!Copy !req
639. Greg! Greg!Copy !req
640. You were supposed to meet us
an hour ago.Copy !req
641. We were searching everywhere.Copy !req
642. We were about to call the police.Copy !req
643. We're very disappointed in you, Rowley.
Very disappointed.Copy !req
644. They let us off easy!Copy !req
645. Why are you upset?
They didn't even yell at us.Copy !req
646. They almost yelled.Copy !req
647. That was nothing. My parents would
have screamed their heads off.Copy !req
648. They're disappointed in me.Copy !req
649. Big deal. Better than getting punished.Copy !req
650. Maybe for you. You're used to it.Copy !req
651. I can't wait to hit the hay.Copy !req
652. Hey, where are you going to sleep?Copy !req
653. I guess we're bunkmates!
Hope you don't snore.Copy !req
654. I can't take this anymore.Copy !req
655. "Help. Get me out of here.Copy !req
656. "These people are driving me crazy."Copy !req
657. Send, send, send!Copy !req
658. Good morning, sleepyheads!Copy !req
659. I have nine hundred and forty-nine e-mails?Copy !req
660. I need to go to the bathroom.Copy !req
661. I have to get out of here!Copy !req
662. Your call cannot be completed as dialed.Copy !req
663. Please check the number and dial again.Copy !req
664. What a piece ofjunk!Copy !req
665. 911.
What is the nature of your emergency?Copy !req
666. Hello? Are you hurt?Copy !req
667. Do you have anything to tell us, Greg?Copy !req
668. I don't think so.Copy !req
669. Anything about,
"These people are driving me crazy"?Copy !req
670. - Yes, Officers?
- He has a knife!Copy !req
671. Do not resist!Copy !req
672. Give me your hand!Copy !req
673. I tried to explain to Rowley's dad
that I didn't mean to call 911...Copy !req
674. but he really wasn't interested
in what I had to say.Copy !req
675. You're always getting into trouble
with that Rowley kid.Copy !req
676. I'm starting to think he's a bad influence.Copy !req
677. Hey, Rowley. How's it going?Copy !req
678. Okay, I guess.Copy !req
679. So, are we still on for the country club?Copy !req
680. Actually... I'm not going
to the country club today.Copy !req
681. Why not?Copy !req
682. What? Coming, Mom! Got to go!Copy !req
683. Ready to get my country club on!Copy !req
684. Rowley isn't going
and I can't get in without him.Copy !req
685. Okay. Well, you snuck me in.Copy !req
686. So instead,
sneak yourself in and then sneak me in.Copy !req
687. How? I need Rowley
to get me past the front desk.Copy !req
688. Greg! If you don't go to "work"...Copy !req
689. "Dad" will know you don't have a job.Copy !req
690. No problem, right?
Remember, you're a Jefferson.Copy !req
691. And don't forget to take out the trash.Copy !req
692. Hey.Copy !req
693. Aren't you going to say hello?Copy !req
694. Yes.Copy !req
695. How rude of me. Hello.Copy !req
696. Hey, Rowley!Copy !req
697. - Hey, Greg.
- Cool.Copy !req
698. I didn't expect to see you here.Copy !req
699. Yeah! Well, my plans changed.Copy !req
700. I changed my... change. I mean...Copy !req
701. Maybe I'll catch up with you later?Copy !req
702. I don't believe it!Copy !req
703. You lied. You never lie!Copy !req
704. My parents don't want me
to invite you anymore.Copy !req
705. I thought if I lied,
I wouldn't hurt your feelings.Copy !req
706. That was impressive.Copy !req
707. That's pretty high.Copy !req
708. Are you talking to yourself?Copy !req
709. No. Of course not!Copy !req
710. You were. You're talking to yourself
because you're scared.Copy !req
711. I'm not scared. That's crazy!Copy !req
712. You don't understand
because you're just a little kid.Copy !req
713. Then go.Copy !req
714. Holly! Where's your sunblock?Copy !req
715. I'm sorry. I don't understand.Copy !req
716. You see, I'm just a little kid.Copy !req
717. Hi, Greg!Copy !req
718. Hey, Holly!Copy !req
719. Oh, my gosh, it is so hot out.
It's nice to cool off in here.Copy !req
720. Yeah, great.Copy !req
721. I was going to get ice cream.
Want to join me?Copy !req
722. That'd be awesome!Copy !req
723. I mean, no.Copy !req
724. Another time, maybe.Copy !req
725. You sure? It's really good here.Copy !req
726. Yeah. I'm trying to lose a couple pounds.
Thanks anyways.Copy !req
727. Okay.Copy !req
728. I am not the kind of person
who likes skinny dipping...Copy !req
729. but I had no choice but to splash around
all day, avoiding people.Copy !req
730. Attention, everybody, the club will be
closing in 10 minutes,Copy !req
731. so everyone out of the pool.Copy !req
732. Rowley!Copy !req
733. Wait! I need help!Copy !req
734. How can I help you, sir?Copy !req
735. Could you pass me those?Copy !req
736. These?Copy !req
737. Oh, my gosh!Copy !req
738. You loser!Copy !req
739. I'm pretty sure that was the first and
last time I'll ever go on the high dive.Copy !req
740. Unfortunately, with all the excitement,
I forgot about Rodrick.Copy !req
741. Rodrick?Copy !req
742. Rodrick!Copy !req
743. Why are you hugging me when Mom
isn't here to see it? Get off me!Copy !req
744. Where have you been?Copy !req
745. Things might be getting harder
at the country club,Copy !req
746. but my fake job
made things much easier with Dad.Copy !req
747. Oh, brother.Copy !req
748. Daddy, can you make
my hiccups hic down?Copy !req
749. I have to pick up Manny from his play date.
We'll have dinner when I get back.Copy !req
750. Dad?Copy !req
751. Oh, no.Copy !req
752. I'm already in enough trouble.Copy !req
753. If that dog does anything to Tingy...Copy !req
754. Slow.Copy !req
755. Go.Copy !req
756. Good Sweetie.Copy !req
757. Who's a good boy?Copy !req
758. Who's going to give Tingy to Daddy?Copy !req
759. You are.Copy !req
760. You are!Copy !req
761. Come on, come on!Copy !req
762. Go that way, go that way!Copy !req
763. I have an idea.Copy !req
764. Here, Sweetie.Copy !req
765. Good idea. Good thinking!Copy !req
766. - Oh, good.
- Come on, Sweetie.Copy !req
767. Good, good, good, good.Copy !req
768. I got it!Copy !req
769. Don't let him have that.Copy !req
770. Sweetie!Copy !req
771. Don't let him have that! Don't eat that!Copy !req
772. Is that... dog spit?Copy !req
773. How could there be so much?Copy !req
774. - Susan!
- Mom!Copy !req
775. You go clean the house.
I'll clean the roast! Go!Copy !req
776. You boys barely touched your pot roast.Copy !req
777. Are you kidding? I'm stuffed.Copy !req
778. I filled up on vegetables.Copy !req
779. More for us, then.Copy !req
780. I don't know what you did different...Copy !req
781. but this pot roast is unbelievable.Copy !req
782. Chef's secret.Copy !req
783. Great.Copy !req
784. And juicier!Copy !req
785. And you are?Copy !req
786. I'm Roland Gropper.Copy !req
787. Have a nice day, Roland.Copy !req
788. Okay, you told one lie.Copy !req
789. I can accept that.
But this is getting out of control.Copy !req
790. I think you have a lying problem.Copy !req
791. I didn't lie about coming to the club today!
We didn't even talk today.Copy !req
792. And how do you keep getting in here
without me?Copy !req
793. Wait. You're not a member?Copy !req
794. Anyone want a smoothie?Copy !req
795. I don't care whether you're a member...
but why sneak in?Copy !req
796. I wanted to hang out with you.Copy !req
797. I gave you my phone number.
Why not just call me?Copy !req
798. I tried, but I only had half the number,
and...Copy !req
799. I'm freaking out!
The D.J. For my Sweet Sixteen canceled...Copy !req
800. so he can fly to Africa
to help build a hospital. What a jerk!Copy !req
801. Now what do I do for music? Whistle?Copy !req
802. What about live music?Copy !req
803. Do you know the band Löded Diper?Copy !req
804. That's a gross name.Copy !req
805. Live music would be really cool!Copy !req
806. You'd be the first at our school
to have a real band.Copy !req
807. That's true.Copy !req
808. They're just coming off a world tour
and are in town.Copy !req
809. I could get them to come as a favor for me.Copy !req
810. What kind of music do they play?Copy !req
811. Anything! They can play anything.Copy !req
812. Where were you?Copy !req
813. Rodrick, you are going to owe me
the rest of your life.Copy !req
814. I got Löded Diper a gig...Copy !req
815. playing at Heather Hills' Sweet Sixteen.Copy !req
816. Really?Copy !req
817. Löded Diper activate.Copy !req
818. - You have her favorite song.
- Song, check.Copy !req
819. - She wants you in tuxes.
- Tuxes, check.Copy !req
820. You're ignoring
everything I'm saying, aren't you?Copy !req
821. Ignoring you, check.Copy !req
822. Don't worry, little bro. It's going to be
a good show. The best.Copy !req
823. Rowley! What are you doing next week?
Löded Diper needs roadies!Copy !req
824. How can you stand to be near me
when I lied?Copy !req
825. - What?
- I'm a liar.Copy !req
826. You can never trust me again.Copy !req
827. The sacred bond of our friendship
is broken.Copy !req
828. Rowley, I get it.
You didn't want to hurt my feelings.Copy !req
829. And I didn't mean to get you
in trouble with the Cranium Shaker.Copy !req
830. That's all right.Copy !req
831. It was actually pretty fun.
Now we can say we've really lived.Copy !req
832. So what about the gig?Copy !req
833. I've always wanted to be a roadie!Copy !req
834. Rise and shine, buddy!Copy !req
835. Don't want to be late for work.Copy !req
836. I'll drop you off at the way to the office,
okay?Copy !req
837. Now Holly knows I'm not a member,Copy !req
838. there's no reason
to sneak into the country club.Copy !req
839. But if my dad finds out I don't really have
a job, my life won't be worth living.Copy !req
840. Thanks, Dad.Copy !req
841. I'm even considering telling him
I got downsized.Copy !req
842. But I don't think he'll like it.Copy !req
843. The thing is, I'm using...Copy !req
844. so many identities,
I'm having trouble keeping track of them.Copy !req
845. This bill is five times the normal amount.Copy !req
846. I'm sorry, Mr. Jefferson,Copy !req
847. but your son has been ordering
a lot of smoothies this month.Copy !req
848. There he is now.Copy !req
849. That is not my son.Copy !req
850. Of course. That's Roland Gropper.Copy !req
851. Good morning, Arthur!Copy !req
852. Hey, Rowley!Copy !req
853. Rowley! My man! What's up?Copy !req
854. Hey! You forgot your sunblock.Copy !req
855. Frank Heffley.Copy !req
856. Your son racked up a lot of charges
on my account.Copy !req
857. What? He works here. Tell him.Copy !req
858. There must be some mistake.
We don't employ minors.Copy !req
859. Do you not work here?Copy !req
860. Maybe not.Copy !req
861. $260 worth of smoothies?
What were you thinking?Copy !req
862. I didn't know you get charged
for what you order.Copy !req
863. I'll pay.Copy !req
864. Very good, sir.Copy !req
865. Aren't you going to yell at me?
Aren't you mad?Copy !req
866. No.Copy !req
867. I'm just disappointed.Copy !req
868. We've got some serious trouble.Copy !req
869. Not you. Me.Copy !req
870. Yeah, mostly you.Copy !req
871. Look what I found in the mail.Copy !req
872. Welcome, prospective parents,
to Spag Union Preparatory School.Copy !req
873. Through these gates is a world in which
your boy will learn to thrive.Copy !req
874. Here we will impress upon him
our three cornerstones to success:Copy !req
875. Intensive study, physical exercise,
and, of course, discipline.Copy !req
876. I used to play video games.Copy !req
877. I was playing all the time...
sometimes two hours a day.Copy !req
878. I'd lie to my parents
and tell them I was studying when...Copy !req
879. really, I'd sneak to the mall
to hang out with my friends.Copy !req
880. My parents sent me to Spag Union.Copy !req
881. I don't waste my time
with video games anymore.Copy !req
882. Spag Union taught me there's more
adventure to be found in a good book.Copy !req
883. I don't lie about where I am anymore.Copy !req
884. Thanks to Spag UnionCopy !req
885. and the tracking device around my ankle,
my parents know...Copy !req
886. where I am 24/7.Copy !req
887. Spag Union, turning irresponsible
little boys into men since 1925.Copy !req
888. Spag Union!Copy !req
889. They're going to send you there.Copy !req
890. I really messed up.Copy !req
891. What do I do?Copy !req
892. Wilderness weekend!Copy !req
893. You have 48 hours to prove to Dad
you don't need Spag Union.Copy !req
894. How?Copy !req
895. By being the all-time best
Wilderness Explorer there ever was.Copy !req
896. You can't go to Spag Union!
I don't want to go to school without you!Copy !req
897. It's not really my choice.Copy !req
898. You got it? Is it solid?Copy !req
899. Yes, sir!Copy !req
900. "Sir"?Copy !req
901. What are you doing?Copy !req
902. This is where my troops set up!Copy !req
903. Come on, Stan.
There's plenty of good sites.Copy !req
904. Give me a break. You don't know
the first thing about camping.Copy !req
905. You know the rules, Stan. Whoever gets
here first gets the pick of the campsites.Copy !req
906. The best way to lay claim to a camp
is to put tents on it.Copy !req
907. Explorers! Install camp!Copy !req
908. Hey, wait. Wait!Copy !req
909. Here, come on, come on, come on!Copy !req
910. Hold it up!Copy !req
911. - Put it on!
- I'm trying!Copy !req
912. Not here, over there!Copy !req
913. Move! Get the front!Copy !req
914. Sorry, Frank.
Doesn't look like there's any room...Copy !req
915. for troops here,
but there's still plenty of good sites.Copy !req
916. Yeah, it's mighty convenient
being so close to the bathrooms.Copy !req
917. You all know the story
of the muddy hand, don't you?Copy !req
918. It was a dark and stormy night,
like this one.Copy !req
919. It is not stormy.Copy !req
920. In these very woods,
an old woodsman, a kindly soul...Copy !req
921. was chopping wood in the rain for
a group of Wilderness Explorers.Copy !req
922. - So what happened?
- Nothing.Copy !req
923. If you consider the old woodsman
chopping off his own hand was nothing!Copy !req
924. - Didn't the Wilderness Explorers help him?
- No.Copy !req
925. They got scared and ran away.Copy !req
926. Why would they do that?Copy !req
927. Back at camp, the boys got to talking.Copy !req
928. They decided that they should have
helped the old woodsmanCopy !req
929. because he was helping them.Copy !req
930. But when they got back to his cottage,
his body was gone!Copy !req
931. Gone?Copy !req
932. All that was left...Copy !req
933. was his hand!Copy !req
934. I don't like this story.Copy !req
935. Not one of those boys was ever seen again.Copy !req
936. The only clue to what happened was
a muddy handprint on the side of the tent.Copy !req
937. They say the muddy hand
is still out there...Copy !req
938. looking for more Wilderness Explorers...Copy !req
939. and...Copy !req
940. revenge!Copy !req
941. I don't buy it.Copy !req
942. How can a hand move by itself?Copy !req
943. I remember "The Muddy Hand"
from when I was a boy.Copy !req
944. You can't beat the classics.Copy !req
945. Okay! Bedtime, everyone.Copy !req
946. Muddy hand!Copy !req
947. Why'd you do that?Copy !req
948. - Do what?
- Hit me in the hand with a mallet!Copy !req
949. - Me?
- Yeah, you, with the mallet in your hand!Copy !req
950. I can't stop making you mad at me.Copy !req
951. If you...Copy !req
952. Why am I mad?Copy !req
953. Because I keep messing up.Copy !req
954. Look, everybody messes up. Even me.Copy !req
955. But I'm not afraid to admit it when I do.Copy !req
956. Just go to sleep.Copy !req
957. I hear at Spag Union, you have to call the
teachers "sir", even the ladies!Copy !req
958. Did you see their tents?Copy !req
959. They weren't even arranged in formation!
What a bunch of losers.Copy !req
960. Come on, son.
A troop is only as good as its leader.Copy !req
961. Any troop that would let Frank Heffley
be Assistant Troop MasterCopy !req
962. is bound to be weak.Copy !req
963. There are two types of people in the world.Copy !req
964. Predators...Copy !req
965. and prey.Copy !req
966. Frank Heffley is a wounded gazelle.Copy !req
967. I'll show them what Heffleys can do.Copy !req
968. Don't make things worse.
You'll end up at Spag Union for sure.Copy !req
969. Only if we get caught. And I have a plan.Copy !req
970. This is campsite 42.Copy !req
971. This "X" is Stan Warren's tent.Copy !req
972. We wait till they're not looking and
weave a web between these trees.Copy !req
973. Then we make the web super-sticky.Copy !req
974. Then we get some ants and put them
in their sleeping bags.Copy !req
975. When they get into their bunks,
the ants will drive them crazy!Copy !req
976. They'll come running out and get stuck in
the web like flies. Revenge will be ours.Copy !req
977. What are you doing?Copy !req
978. I've been ensnared by my own handiwork.Copy !req
979. Here are the ants.Copy !req
980. I'll signal you if anything happens.Copy !req
981. Hoot-hoot! Hoot-hoot!Copy !req
982. Come on.Copy !req
983. A refrigerator? Ready-made meals?Copy !req
984. A TV?Copy !req
985. This isn't camping!Copy !req
986. Hoot-hoot! Hoot-hoot!Copy !req
987. Good-bye, Gregory. You will always
be remembered for your bravery.Copy !req
988. Raccoons.Copy !req
989. Okay.Copy !req
990. Where are you?Copy !req
991. Hey, little guy!Copy !req
992. Daddy needs a new fur hat!Copy !req
993. Come out, come out, wherever you are!Copy !req
994. Who's there? Show yourself!Copy !req
995. Someone from your troop
violated our campsite.Copy !req
996. That was a thousand dollar tent!Copy !req
997. Okay, what happened?Copy !req
998. I did it.Copy !req
999. Greg, no!Copy !req
1000. Dad.Copy !req
1001. It was my idea.Copy !req
1002. I can't let them take the fall for me.Copy !req
1003. We didn't mean to burn up the tent.Copy !req
1004. No, but...Copy !req
1005. we did.Copy !req
1006. Greg was only defending your honor!Copy !req
1007. Mr. Warren disrespected you.Copy !req
1008. He called you a wounded gazelle.Copy !req
1009. Your boy should be expelled.Copy !req
1010. He's a disgrace
to every Wilderness Explorer...Copy !req
1011. Shut up, Stan! Just shut up!Copy !req
1012. Hey, what is that?Copy !req
1013. A store-bought s'mores maker?Copy !req
1014. A TV?Copy !req
1015. Pre-tied knots?Copy !req
1016. Stan, you're a phony!Copy !req
1017. So much for the big camper.Copy !req
1018. I'm going to report this
to the Wilderness Committee.Copy !req
1019. We'll see who looks ridiculous then, huh?Copy !req
1020. From what I hear,Copy !req
1021. Mr. Warren was completely abandoned
by his Wilderness Explorer troop.Copy !req
1022. These days, he runs a badminton league
for kindergarteners.Copy !req
1023. Let's get out of here.Copy !req
1024. I have a confession to make.Copy !req
1025. I hate camping.Copy !req
1026. I don't understand what's so great
about sleeping in a bag.Copy !req
1027. Like being in a bag isn't bad enough,
you have to lie in the dirt, too!Copy !req
1028. I know. It's crazy!Copy !req
1029. Beds were invented for a reason.Copy !req
1030. Yeah. And roofs. And walls.
And bathrooms.Copy !req
1031. Pizza delivery places.Copy !req
1032. Hey, look at me.Copy !req
1033. I'm not sending you to Spag Union.Copy !req
1034. You know what my grandpa used to say?Copy !req
1035. "A man who never made a mistake...Copy !req
1036. "... never made anything."Copy !req
1037. The trick is...Copy !req
1038. to be responsible and learn
from your mistakes.Copy !req
1039. And you can do that.Copy !req
1040. You're a really great kid, Greg.Copy !req
1041. And I'm not just saying that because
we're a lot alike.Copy !req
1042. Comic strip fans all over the country are
rejoicing at the news that the beloved...Copy !req
1043. Li'l Cutie will continue.Copy !req
1044. The son of cartoonist Bob Post
is taking over for his father...Copy !req
1045. and says he is looking forward to
continuing Li'l Cutie's adventuresCopy !req
1046. for generations to come.Copy !req
1047. - It can't be happening!
- We'll never get rid of that garbage!Copy !req
1048. Oh, golly.Copy !req
1049. I have to say, I didn't expect the
Wilderness weekend to work out so well.Copy !req
1050. Now all I have to worry about is getting
through Löded Diper's gigCopy !req
1051. without looking like an idiot.Copy !req
1052. You're on in 30 minutes.Copy !req
1053. Relax! My brother was working on the
pyrotechnics all day, it's gonna kick butt.Copy !req
1054. Wait. What does your brother do?Copy !req
1055. He's a demolition expert.Copy !req
1056. Leave the rocking to us, okay?
It's what we do.Copy !req
1057. Now get to work, roadies.Copy !req
1058. Wow. Is that supposed to be Heather?Copy !req
1059. Weird.Copy !req
1060. This is amazing!Copy !req
1061. There's even a chocolate fountain!Copy !req
1062. What are you doing?
You two are roadies.Copy !req
1063. Which means you're employees.
No chocolate fountain for employees.Copy !req
1064. These guys are my friends.Copy !req
1065. Wow, Holly.Copy !req
1066. Wow. You've managed to take
my Sweet Sixteen...Copy !req
1067. and make it all about you.Copy !req
1068. - So selfish!
- So selfish!Copy !req
1069. Listen, midgets, the only reason you're
here is 'cause I was forced to invite you.Copy !req
1070. So stay out of my eye-line! ¿ Comprende?Copy !req
1071. She's into drama.Copy !req
1072. She's like Rodrick in a dress!Copy !req
1073. Is your brother's band all set up?Copy !req
1074. I'm really looking forward
to their performance.Copy !req
1075. It was your grandmother's.Copy !req
1076. So it's, like, used?Copy !req
1077. Ben!Copy !req
1078. I need to make a love connection with
Heather. I want to sing lead vocals.Copy !req
1079. But I don't know how to play drums.Copy !req
1080. Dude, two words, fast and loud.Copy !req
1081. Especially loud.Copy !req
1082. Oh my signal, press that red button, okay?Copy !req
1083. Shoo! Move, move!Copy !req
1084. This song goes out
to a very special little lady.Copy !req
1085. Heather Hills...Copy !req
1086. this one's for you.Copy !req
1087. Why aren't they in tuxes?
They were supposed to wear tuxes!Copy !req
1088. It's her favorite song.Copy !req
1089. I need to dazzle her.
Crank it up Full Diper!Copy !req
1090. Hit that button!Copy !req
1091. No. No!Copy !req
1092. I'm going to kill you!Copy !req
1093. So, Heather... you're a pretty cool chick.Copy !req
1094. Maybe I could call you next week
and we could hang?Copy !req
1095. Go for it.Copy !req
1096. I'm really sorry.Copy !req
1097. Don't be. This is awesome!Copy !req
1098. She wanted people to remember
her Sweet Sixteen.Copy !req
1099. People will definitely remember this.Copy !req
1100. Okay, so...Copy !req
1101. the summer didn't go exactly as planned,
but in the end, it all worked out okay.Copy !req
1102. Rowley and Holly came to the municipal
pool as my guests.Copy !req
1103. Hey! Who's hungry?Copy !req
1104. All in all, this might go down
as the best summer ever.Copy !req
1105. As for my dad, we may not see eye to eye
on everything...Copy !req
1106. but we work as a team.Copy !req
1107. Sweetie, not the roast again!Copy !req
1108. - Drop it!
- Bad dog!Copy !req
1109. - Good dog!
- Good Sweetie!Copy !req