1. We've only just begunCopy !req
2. Before the rising sunCopy !req
3. We've only just begunCopy !req
4. Day by dayCopy !req
5. Together, togetherCopy !req
6. Going together just the two of usCopy !req
7. Ah.Copy !req
8. No! What is that?Copy !req
9. Aah! Come on, come on!Copy !req
10. Come on.Copy !req
11. I remember the day that we metCopy !req
12. I needed someone
You needed someone tooCopy !req
13. Shut up!Copy !req
14. Stop it!Copy !req
15. Shut up!Copy !req
16. Oh.Copy !req
17. Kiss. The devil's music.Copy !req
18. You say you wanna go for a spinCopy !req
19. The party's just begun, we'll let you inCopy !req
20. You drive us wild
We'll drive youCopy !req
21. CrazyCopy !req
22. You keep on shouting
You keep on shoutingCopy !req
23. I can't fucking hear you!Copy !req
24. I wanna rock and roll all nightCopy !req
25. And party every dayCopy !req
26. You keep on shouting
You keep on shoutingCopy !req
27. - What?
- Give it to me, baby!Copy !req
28. I wanna rock and roll all nightCopy !req
29. Let's party!Copy !req
30. And party every dayCopy !req
31. Have a party, what a rushCopy !req
32. I wanna rock until I die!Copy !req
33. Thank you, Cleveland!Copy !req
34. You've been a great crowd.Copy !req
35. But after three and a half hours
of some kick-ass rock 'n' roll...Copy !req
36. and seven encores on top of that...Copy !req
37. I'm sorry to say that, uh,
we gotta get back to our hotel rooms...Copy !req
38. and fuck some groupies, so...Copy !req
39. What are you doing, man? You put that...Copy !req
40. You fucking asshole, man. That's my bass.Copy !req
41. Just one more day of school...Copy !req
42. to get through, girls,
before tomorrow night.Copy !req
43. Come on, Detroit, Michigan.Copy !req
44. - You wanted the best!
- You got the best!Copy !req
45. The hottest band in the world!Copy !req
46. Kiss!Copy !req
47. Who is it?Copy !req
48. Shit, man, it's Jam's mom.Copy !req
49. - What? It's my mom?
- Cover all this shit up, man.Copy !req
50. Spray something. Smells like dope in here.Copy !req
51. Just like Jam's mom to ruin the fucking party.Copy !req
52. It smells in here, man.Copy !req
53. Jeremiah, you get out here this instant.Copy !req
54. - Hi, Mom.
- Now!Copy !req
55. - What's up?
- The devil's body count, that's what's up.Copy !req
56. Don't you know what Kiss stands for?Copy !req
57. Knights In Satan's Service.
Where is Karen Carpenter?Copy !req
58. - How would I know?
- Donny and Marie too?Copy !req
59. Why would I have Donny and Marie?Copy !req
60. Whoa, whoa. Unh!Copy !req
61. I had a nightmare that bullshit
like this might happen.Copy !req
62. If he misses Peter Criss' drum solo...Copy !req
63. he won't be able to continue
with his life.Copy !req
64. Lex, quit jinxing us, man.Copy !req
65. Nobody's missing that concert
tomorrow night.Copy !req
66. They're larger-than-life
space-age comic book heroes...Copy !req
67. the most sensational phenomenon
of the past decade.Copy !req
68. Their fans are fanatical.Copy !req
69. Each fan has a favorite,
each one a fantasy.Copy !req
70. Oh, my God.Copy !req
71. The rock 'n' roll band Kiss is in town.Copy !req
72. For some people,
that spells trouble with a capital T.Copy !req
73. I shall resign the presidency
effective at noon tomorrow.Copy !req
74. Kiss is hotter than hell.Copy !req
75. The protesters are mainly religious groups.Copy !req
76. Satan worship and drugs among our kids.Copy !req
77. Each 12-and-a-half-inch figure sold separately.Copy !req
78. No!Copy !req
79. Hello?Copy !req
80. - Jam.
- Hawk?Copy !req
81. Listen up.
We're in a bit of a quandary right now.Copy !req
82. They're fucking gone.Copy !req
83. - What's gone, man?
- What do you think, man? The Kiss tickets.Copy !req
84. - Gone?
- Please tell me you have them, man.Copy !req
85. - Why would I have the Kiss tickets?
- I don't know, man.Copy !req
86. Just check whatever you were wearing
last night.Copy !req
87. Now, man!Copy !req
88. I got them, man.Copy !req
89. Heh. He's got them.Copy !req
90. I must have taken Trip's jacket by mistake.Copy !req
91. - I'm really sorry about that.
- Oh, don't be such a wuss, Jam.Copy !req
92. Are you grounded
because of last night?Copy !req
93. Oh, yeah, but, uh, has that
ever stopped me before?Copy !req
94. See you guys at school.Copy !req
95. - Phew.
- Poor Jam, man.Copy !req
96. Imagine having to stash your Kiss records
in Carly Simon album covers.Copy !req
97. How shitty is that?Copy !req
98. No question. Mrs. Bruce
is a psycho bitch from hell.Copy !req
99. You're one to talk, Lex.
Your mom's a fucking dyke.Copy !req
100. Just because she's a female gynecologist
doesn't mean she's a lesbian.Copy !req
101. And even if she was, at least my mom
didn't give birth to me while she was on LSD.Copy !req
102. Shrooms.Copy !req
103. Will you guys quit the mom-bashing?Copy !req
104. I mean, look. Look, Lex's mom is cool
because she lets us spend the night.Copy !req
105. If it wasn't for your mom, Trip...Copy !req
106. we wouldn't have smoked
that fine Panama Red last night.Copy !req
107. So leave the women who gave you life
out of it. They're both cool in my book.Copy !req
108. Let's go.Copy !req
109. - Trip, you asshole.
- What?Copy !req
110. Man, you spilled the bong water
all over the bed.Copy !req
111. Stupid son of a...Copy !req
112. Come on.Copy !req
113. Oh, my...Copy !req
114. Jeremiah, it's time to go. Get...Copy !req
115. What are you doing?Copy !req
116. Just, uh, whew, getting a little sunshine.Copy !req
117. You're gonna be late
if you don't hurry up and change.Copy !req
118. Change?Copy !req
119. What's, uh, wrong with the clothes
I wore last night?Copy !req
120. It's dirty laundry, for one thing.Copy !req
121. And another, you still haven't tried on
the clothes I bought you.Copy !req
122. You're skating on thin ice already,
young man, so I wouldn't push my luck.Copy !req
123. Now, get out of those rags.Copy !req
124. Mom, it's...Copy !req
125. And besides, those jeans are so tight.Copy !req
126. I can see your penis.Copy !req
127. Excuse me.Copy !req
128. This jacket, it stinks of BO.Copy !req
129. It's enough to make a person sick.Copy !req
130. Now, remember,
I have my church meeting...Copy !req
131. so you'll be on the honor system tonight.Copy !req
132. I'll be home a little after 1.Copy !req
133. And if you've been partying
or playing that satanic Kiss music...Copy !req
134. need I remind you
of the consequences?Copy !req
135. Uh...Copy !req
136. Grounded for the rest of the year?Copy !req
137. Oh, you are a smart boy, Jeremiah.
Put these on before they go out of style.Copy !req
138. Come on, take it.Copy !req
139. Man, school.
What a fucking waste of time, man.Copy !req
140. I wish someone would tell these chicks
that disco's dead!Copy !req
141. Don't stare too long, boys. You'll go blind.Copy !req
142. Yeah, right.Copy !req
143. Stellas. I hate Stellas almost
as much as I hate dogs, man.Copy !req
144. Yeah, man. Same species
when you think about it.Copy !req
145. Shit, man. That geek looks like Jam.Copy !req
146. Man, that geek is Jam.Copy !req
147. Hey, dork!Copy !req
148. Heh. So who did your wardrobe?
Tad the preppie sailboat captain?Copy !req
149. Hey, man, my mom had me over a barrel,
all right?Copy !req
150. After last night,
I had to let her dress me today.Copy !req
151. - Give-and-take relationship.
- She gives shit and you take it.Copy !req
152. Hey, hand over the tickets.
I wanna hold them.Copy !req
153. The tickets?Copy !req
154. - What?
- Well, there's a, uh, little, little problem.Copy !req
155. - They're still at my house in Trip's jacket.
- What are you talking about?Copy !req
156. She was standing over me
when I was changing.Copy !req
157. - You are so pathetic.
- Man, that's some sick shit right there, man.Copy !req
158. I mean, does she comb your ass hair
for you too?Copy !req
159. If she even smells those tickets,
she'll destroy them.Copy !req
160. We get fucked out of seeing Kiss
for the third year.Copy !req
161. It's gonna be okay. Don't worry about it.Copy !req
162. They're at my house.
They're perfectly safe.Copy !req
163. We'll go there and pick them up.
My mom's not even gonna be there.Copy !req
164. Dudes, hours from now,
we're actually gonna be seeing Kiss.Copy !req
165. All right, we'll just double-time it
to your house.Copy !req
166. We'll grab the tickets, then we'll head
to the train station for the 3:45...Copy !req
167. to Detroit Rock City!
- Whoo!Copy !req
168. God!Copy !req
169. Well, as they say in the tampon biz,
see you next period.Copy !req
170. Jerk.Copy !req
171. - Oh.
- Heh. I'm sorry.Copy !req
172. It's not a problem.Copy !req
173. Thanks.Copy !req
174. Fine.Copy !req
175. - Hey, Beth.
- Yes?Copy !req
176. - I'm so sorry.
- Mr. Bruce, Ms. Bumsteen...Copy !req
177. is there a problem?Copy !req
178. Uh, no, there's no problem.Copy !req
179. I'm so sorry.Copy !req
180. Oh, don't worry about it.Copy !req
181. - Jeremiah.
- Yeah?Copy !req
182. I wanted to tell you something.Copy !req
183. What?Copy !req
184. I know we don't, uh, know each other
that well or anything, but...Copy !req
185. - But what?
- Um...Copy !req
186. Today is gonna be the last time I can...Copy !req
187. I'm mov...Copy !req
188. Jeremiah Bruce, please come to the office.Copy !req
189. Ooh!Copy !req
190. Jeremiah Bruce,
come to the office immediately.Copy !req
191. Give me that microphone.
Jeremiah Bruce, this is your mother.Copy !req
192. You are in big trouble, young man.Copy !req
193. What I found in the pocket
of that stinky, smelly jacket of yours...Copy !req
194. has me more than livid.
You get your little fanny out of that seat...Copy !req
195. and you meet me in the front office.Copy !req
196. How dare you do this to me.Copy !req
197. How dare you humiliate me
after I work so hard for you.Copy !req
198. You take my hard-earned money...Copy !req
199. and you and your idiot friends
spend it on Kiss tickets?Copy !req
200. Kiss tickets!Copy !req
201. Kiss tickets!Copy !req
202. Sit.Copy !req
203. - Mom, you don't understand.
- Oh, I understand perfectly.Copy !req
204. And so will Father Phillip McNulty.Copy !req
205. You're sending me to boarding school?Copy !req
206. What else can I do?Copy !req
207. Records, magazines, comic books,
that's one thing.Copy !req
208. But tickets. Tickets.Copy !req
209. Do you realize what this means?
That you are no longer content...Copy !req
210. merely hearing their awful music
and looking at photos of their faces.Copy !req
211. Now you wanna see the devil in the flesh.
You wanna reach out and touch pure evil.Copy !req
212. And in Detroit, no less.Copy !req
213. It's been a long time coming, Jeremiah.Copy !req
214. But you are finally going to get
the kind of discipline that you deserve.Copy !req
215. - But, Mom, you...
- Shut up.Copy !req
216. I knew it. We're completely fucked.Copy !req
217. For once, Lex is right.
Can't get any worse from here.Copy !req
218. I hope you rodents have hall passes.Copy !req
219. Fuck, it's Elvis.Copy !req
220. Could that be three detentions I smell?Copy !req
221. All right. Second floor, girls' bathroom.
He'll never find us there.Copy !req
222. Fuck! Son of a bitch, man!Copy !req
223. Take it easy, man.
This is the girls' crapper, remember?Copy !req
224. Oh, wake up, Lex. We just watched Jam's mom
torch our fucking Kiss tickets, man.Copy !req
225. Not REO Speedwagon, not Journey,
not the Bay City Rollers.Copy !req
226. Kiss, man.
If you can think of a better reason...Copy !req
227. to trash a girls' bathroom,
I'd sure like to hear it.Copy !req
228. What the fuck are you doing?Copy !req
229. - This is school.
- So what?Copy !req
230. We're clear, dudes.Copy !req
231. Let's go.Copy !req
232. - Shit. A skirt, a skirt.
- Oh, shit.Copy !req
233. Sherry Van Hafton.Copy !req
234. Shit, I've had the hots for her
since second grade.Copy !req
235. Man, I've never heard a girl blow ass before.Copy !req
236. - Get the fuck out of here, man!
- Sorry.Copy !req
237. God forbid someday
you have a son like you, Jeremiah.Copy !req
238. A boy who lies through his teeth...Copy !req
239. buys demonic records
and smokes the dope.Copy !req
240. Sorry. Sorry.Copy !req
241. Anyone up for an enema?Copy !req
242. - Shit, man.
- Maybe some music will cheer us up.Copy !req
243. This is Simple Simon on the rock of Detroit...Copy !req
244. home of the biggest Kiss giveaway
in the history of the universe!Copy !req
245. I got four front-row tickets
along with four backstage passes...Copy !req
246. to the concert tonight at Cobo Hall.Copy !req
247. And I'm giving them to the 106th caller
who can tell me the real names...Copy !req
248. of each Kiss band member.
- Oh, shit.Copy !req
249. Oh, no.Copy !req
250. This is horseshit.
It's too bad we're stuck in this prison.Copy !req
251. I got it.Copy !req
252. Mr. Verudi, get back to your bench.Copy !req
253. Mr. Johansen, I gotta take a leak
like you would not believe.Copy !req
254. Put a clothespin on it till the end of class.Copy !req
255. But, Mr. J, you know, ever since my doctor,
he put me on these salt pills...Copy !req
256. Salt pills?Copy !req
257. Don't insult my intelligence, Verudi.Copy !req
258. Oh, man, I'm taking a leak in my pants.Copy !req
259. - Yes.
- Get the hell out of here, Verudi.Copy !req
260. You disgust me.Copy !req
261. I need to be connected
to the WURP contest line.Copy !req
262. Now, lady, come on.Copy !req
263. Oh, yeah, man!Copy !req
264. - I won!
- What?Copy !req
265. We... We won!Copy !req
266. - We won!
- What?Copy !req
267. We're going to Detroit, baby!Copy !req
268. - We're going?
- Yeah!Copy !req
269. Yeah!Copy !req
270. Yeah!Copy !req
271. Man, this is the greatest thing
that ever happened to me in school.Copy !req
272. Not only are we on for Kiss in Detroit...Copy !req
273. but we're gonna be sitting
front row center, man.Copy !req
274. Guys, guys, our band Mystery
is a quartet, right?Copy !req
275. We can't go on the road
without our drummer.Copy !req
276. Jam's mom said something
about taking him to St. Bernard's.Copy !req
277. I say we go up there,
bust him out of there.Copy !req
278. Man, St. Bernard's is in the next county.Copy !req
279. So? Your mom's car has a CB,
radar detector, cruise control, check.Copy !req
280. We're not stealing my mom's car.
That's not happening.Copy !req
281. - Damn right we are, man.
- All I need is one ding on that Volvo...Copy !req
282. and I'm fucked when my mom gets back
from Cincinnati.Copy !req
283. She won't even know we touched it, Lex.Copy !req
284. If one thing happens to the car,
I'm blaming it on you.Copy !req
285. - Say you drugged me or something.
- I say we get out of here.Copy !req
286. - Hold on. We're ditching school?
- About time, if you ask me.Copy !req
287. I'm just going through the motions
till I'm old enough to drop out anyway.Copy !req
288. Shit. Shit. Guys, Elvis alert.Copy !req
289. I notice the trays match your outfits.
Did you plan that?Copy !req
290. Excuse me, ladies.Copy !req
291. Ew! He stinks.Copy !req
292. Hey. Hey, I'm responsible for that.Copy !req
293. No!Copy !req
294. Pray hard, Jeremiah.Copy !req
295. - God loves you.
- That he does.Copy !req
296. God bless you, Father McNulty.Copy !req
297. Jeremiah.Copy !req
298. Now, if you think that recklessness
and disobedience...Copy !req
299. can get you expelled, think again.Copy !req
300. Now, St. Bernard's may punish you
even for the slightest digression...Copy !req
301. but it'll never cast you out,
even for the largest.Copy !req
302. So here you are, Jeremiah. Here to stay.Copy !req
303. Yeah, man, come on.
Let's go bust him out, yeah.Copy !req
304. No, man. We can't just waltz in there.Copy !req
305. We gotta figure out a plan, man.Copy !req
306. The eagle's landed, you guys.Copy !req
307. You kids know
where Phillip McNutly's office is?Copy !req
308. - Uh, you ordered a pizza?
- What's the damage, young man?Copy !req
309. Ten even.Copy !req
310. Oh.Copy !req
311. If he offers you a slice,
you're not the least bit hungry.Copy !req
312. Ten dollars, and I'm donating
your tip to the church.Copy !req
313. - The Lord thanks you.
- Tell the big guy not to mention it.Copy !req
314. I am famished.Copy !req
315. Well, I hope you brought a lunch
for yourself.Copy !req
316. Uh, no, but I'm not hungry anyway.Copy !req
317. Oh, it finally speaks.Copy !req
318. Well, there's one barrier
we've broken through, huh?Copy !req
319. Mm. Mm. Oh.Copy !req
320. Your coming here reminds me...Copy !req
321. of the gospel parable of the prodigal son.Copy !req
322. Once, there was a man...Copy !req
323. and he had two sons.Copy !req
324. And they both grew up on the farm
with him.Copy !req
325. Um, one day...Copy !req
326. Ah.Copy !req
327. Oh.Copy !req
328. That was a very stale mushroom.Copy !req
329. Well, where was I?Copy !req
330. Man, come on, this is such a lousy view.Copy !req
331. How the hell are we ever
supposed to know when he's lit?Copy !req
332. It usually takes 10 minutes to half an hour.Copy !req
333. All depends, you know?Copy !req
334. He's lit.Copy !req
335. I've been telling that sermon for years.Copy !req
336. This is the first time I've realized...Copy !req
337. it's the work of some comedy mastermind.Copy !req
338. The prodigal son
is a barrel of fucking monkeys.Copy !req
339. Wait, wait, wait! You kids can't go in there.Copy !req
340. No, no, no, it's okay.
We're old buds of Father McNulty's.Copy !req
341. How's it hanging, Padre?Copy !req
342. Whoa, I just heard you
talking through my nose.Copy !req
343. Is it possible my nose has eardrums?Copy !req
344. Nosedrums. Ha-ha-ha.Copy !req
345. Yeah. We're here
to take our friend Jam here...Copy !req
346. to the big satanic Kiss concert tonight
if that's okay with you?Copy !req
347. Satan? Satan? Santa.Copy !req
348. Hey. Whoa, they're the same letters.
They're the same guy.Copy !req
349. It's the same frigging guy.Copy !req
350. Hey, what the hell are you doing,
Sister Gonorrhea?Copy !req
351. Waiting for a bus? Ha-ha-ha.Copy !req
352. You'll still get rowdy with the girls and boysCopy !req
353. 'Cause it's time for you
To take a stand, yeah, yeahCopy !req
354. Yeah, oohCopy !req
355. Shout it, shout itCopy !req
356. Shout it out loudCopy !req
357. Yeah
You want a little partyCopy !req
358. Shout it, shout itCopy !req
359. Shout it out loudCopy !req
360. Whoa, dudes, man.Copy !req
361. I just had the killerest vision, man.Copy !req
362. Imagine Mystery opening up for Kiss, man.Copy !req
363. - Oh, that'd be fucking it.
- Yeah, man.Copy !req
364. It could happen, man. It could happen.Copy !req
365. You know, in '73,
Kiss was opening for Blue Öyster Cult.Copy !req
366. One year later to the day, man...Copy !req
367. Blue Öyster Cult was opening for Kiss.Copy !req
368. We're not gonna be opening for anybody
until our singer gets over his stage fright.Copy !req
369. - God, man.
- Ha, ha.Copy !req
370. I don't have fucking stage fright, Lex.Copy !req
371. Yeah, then why'd you pass out on-stage
at Bing's party before the first song?Copy !req
372. That was one show, man.Copy !req
373. That was our only show,
and you dropped like a dead deer on us.Copy !req
374. Ha-ha-ha.
- Shut up.Copy !req
375. I'm solid goldCopy !req
376. I've got the goodsCopy !req
377. They stand when I walk
Through the neighborhoodsCopy !req
378. I'm makin' itCopy !req
379. I've got the chance
I'm takin' itCopy !req
380. No more, no moreCopy !req
381. Fakin' itCopy !req
382. This time in life
I'm makin' itCopy !req
383. Makin' itCopy !req
384. Give me this pizza.Copy !req
385. - Come on, it's the last piece, man.
- Mine, all right?Copy !req
386. Fuck, man. Only a car full of
Stellas and Guidos...Copy !req
387. would ride your ass
on a two-lane highway and honk.Copy !req
388. Oh, man.Copy !req
389. Listen everyone hereCopy !req
390. This coming year's gonna be my yearCopy !req
391. I'm as bad as they comeCopy !req
392. Number two to no oneCopy !req
393. I've got looks
I've got brainsCopy !req
394. And I'm breakin' these chainsCopy !req
395. Throw that shit out before it stains the up...
Man, get... Throw it out of the car, you asshole.Copy !req
396. Come on, man.Copy !req
397. I'm makin' itCopy !req
398. - Oh, fuck, man.
- Oh, man.Copy !req
399. Kenny, you asshole,
you just killed a bird.Copy !req
400. That's no bird.
That's a hunk of fucking cheese, Kenny.Copy !req
401. A hunk of fucking cheese?Copy !req
402. We just pissed off the Incredible Hulk...Copy !req
403. his idiot half-brother
and his two circus clowns.Copy !req
404. I'm gonna fucking kill these bastards.
Know that?Copy !req
405. Pull the fucking car over!Copy !req
406. - I'm gonna fucking... Pull over.
- No way, man.Copy !req
407. - You're dead!
- Suck my cock!Copy !req
408. Maybe we should pull over and apologize.Copy !req
409. This motherfucker's dead.Copy !req
410. The paint.Copy !req
411. Fuck.Copy !req
412. Pull over.Copy !req
413. - Out of the car. Let's go.
- Oh, fuck.Copy !req
414. - Oh, shit. God... Oh, God.
- Kenny.Copy !req
415. No!Copy !req
416. - Oh, God. Oh, shit.
- Kenny.Copy !req
417. - Shit. Shit. Oh, God.
- That's not funny, Kenny.Copy !req
418. - Kenny.
- That's not very nice, man.Copy !req
419. You're a complete asshole, Kenny.Copy !req
420. Oh, no.Copy !req
421. Not the fag music. Get out of the way.Copy !req
422. Kenny, would you cut it
with the macho crap?Copy !req
423. Whoa, whoa, this is about pizza, man.Copy !req
424. Can we try and leave Kiss out of it?Copy !req
425. What, a bunch of guys
who make bad music...Copy !req
426. dress like freaks and wear more makeup
than all my sisters combined?Copy !req
427. No. These assholes gotta be stopped.Copy !req
428. - That's it. I'm leaving.
- Oh!Copy !req
429. Christine.Copy !req
430. Jesus.Copy !req
431. Christine.
You googatz in the head or something?Copy !req
432. We are on the side of the freaking highway.Copy !req
433. - Fuck her.
- Fuck her.Copy !req
434. - Kool and the Gang, now, that's music.
- Now, that's music.Copy !req
435. - But this? This is crap.
- That's crap.Copy !req
436. All right, fag-mo,
have you learned your lesson yet, puke?Copy !req
437. Well, if the lesson
is that you're a dick with ears...Copy !req
438. and a really bad haircut,
I'd say, yeah, I learned my lesson.Copy !req
439. - Break his fucking legs, Kenny.
- Fucking...Copy !req
440. Come on, we can talk about this, right? Heh.Copy !req
441. You know, maybe reason a little bit.Copy !req
442. When these guys wake up,
they'll come look for you.Copy !req
443. You best hope they don't find you because
if they do, they're gonna kick your asses.Copy !req
444. Oh, yeah, Stella.
And we'll deserve it too, won't we?Copy !req
445. But you know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna make it really worth their while.Copy !req
446. Oh, God!Copy !req
447. - Yeah!
- You freak!Copy !req
448. - God!
- Yeah!Copy !req
449. Die, you fucking freak!Copy !req
450. Thanks for letting us use your makeup.Copy !req
451. You must have the entire Revlon factory
in your purse, you greasy disco ball.Copy !req
452. - Let's go!
- Very funny.Copy !req
453. I hope you fucking choke to death and die...Copy !req
454. you loser-ass motherfuckers!
- Disco sucks!Copy !req
455. Fuck you!Copy !req
456. Fuck! Fuck!Copy !req
457. - Hey, they put the fag makeup on you.
- I got the fag makeup on?Copy !req
458. The fucking fag makeup's on you.Copy !req
459. - Oh, no. I got fag makeup on me.
- Oh, gee.Copy !req
460. - Yeah!
- Whoo! Whoo!Copy !req
461. Yeah!Copy !req
462. Hey, look, it's that girl.Copy !req
463. Man, that's no girl. That's a Stella.Copy !req
464. Yeah, well, Stella or no Stella,
we should pull over and help her out.Copy !req
465. Fucking inbred oaf.Copy !req
466. Kenny, fuck him. Fuck you.
Fucking kick your ass.Copy !req
467. Man, what the hell is wrong with you?Copy !req
468. You got a thing for that thing?Copy !req
469. It's a teenage girl walking
along the side of the highway.Copy !req
470. I mean, they make scary movies
that start out like that.Copy !req
471. Hey, but they make porno movies
that start out like that too, man.Copy !req
472. Yeah.Copy !req
473. Oh, great. Just hitched a ride
with a bunch of potheads.Copy !req
474. I'm trying to hook up with people
at this place...Copy !req
475. in downtown Detroit called Disco Inferno.
You mind dropping me there?Copy !req
476. What's it worth to you?Copy !req
477. - What the hell is that supposed to mean?
- Ha, ha.Copy !req
478. It doesn't mean anything.
Don't pay attention to him.Copy !req
479. It's more like Disco's Infernal.Copy !req
480. Oh, you hot baby, you.Copy !req
481. You know, your clothes may say disco,
but your eyes say rock 'n' roll.Copy !req
482. Yeah? Well, your belt buckle
may say rock 'n' roll...Copy !req
483. but your breath says pepperoni, baby.Copy !req
484. So are you gonna suck our dicks or what?Copy !req
485. - What?
- Trip, that's so fucking rude, man.Copy !req
486. Fuck you, Jam. Stop being the wussy
sensitive guy just to impress her, man.Copy !req
487. She's obviously not gonna put out, man.Copy !req
488. She's a tease, man.Copy !req
489. A tease? What the hell did I do
to tease you Mongoloids?Copy !req
490. You got in the fucking car.Copy !req
491. Oh, God, how calculating of me to lead you
on like that after you offered me a ride.Copy !req
492. Whatever, Stella.Copy !req
493. My name's Christine.Copy !req
494. Not Stella. You don't have to be
pigs because I prefer Donna Summer...Copy !req
495. or KC and the Sunshine Band
or the Village People over Kiss.Copy !req
496. - Oh, no.
- Ha, ha.Copy !req
497. Fucking Village People.
Man, they're a fag band.Copy !req
498. - They take it up the coat.
- All right, all right, guys. All right.Copy !req
499. You know, thanks,
but I can take care of myself, germ.Copy !req
500. - Jam.
- Whatever.Copy !req
501. Dope burnout, let's get one thing straight:Copy !req
502. As far as I'm concerned,
good tunes is good tunes.Copy !req
503. Be it disco or rock or polka or whatever
have you, regardless of the category.Copy !req
504. I mean, disco is just easier to dance to.Copy !req
505. You call that Deney Terrio,
John Travolta shit dancing?Copy !req
506. Hey, you know something?Copy !req
507. Disco's so fucking big right now
I wouldn't be surprised...Copy !req
508. - ... if Kiss did a disco song someday.
- What?Copy !req
509. - Yeah.
- If there's one thing Kiss will never do...Copy !req
510. it's a bullshit disco song.
- No shit, man.Copy !req
511. Yeah, man.
Disco blows dogs for quarters, man. Heh.Copy !req
512. That's an intelligently biting remark
wrought with wit and irony.Copy !req
513. If you don't like that one,
you'll think it's funny...Copy !req
514. when we kick your fucking ass
out of the car.Copy !req
515. Why not put your money
where your mouth is?Copy !req
516. - Why don't you lick my hairy crack?
Ha-ha-ha.Copy !req
517. Why don't you bend over?
You're looking right at it.Copy !req
518. What?Copy !req
519. That last remark fell about 30 yards away
from making any sense whatsoever.Copy !req
520. You're right.
"Bend over, you're looking right at it"?Copy !req
521. What the hell is that
supposed to mean anyway?Copy !req
522. Give me... Give me a hit off of that J,
will you? That's some kick-ass shit.Copy !req
523. Kiss!Copy !req
524. Move out of my way!Copy !req
525. Lex, thank you for letting us
borrow your mom's car, man.Copy !req
526. Man, that weed knocked Christine
on her ass.Copy !req
527. She's sleeping like a baby Stella.Copy !req
528. - Man, let's lift up her skirt.
- There it is.Copy !req
529. - What?
- Holy fuck, we made it.Copy !req
530. Oh, my God.Copy !req
531. Oh, my God. Thank you.Copy !req
532. Man.Copy !req
533. - Hey!
- I'm going into swarmo mode.Copy !req
534. I'm going into swarmo mode. Oh, shit!Copy !req
535. I'm the King of the Night Time World!Copy !req
536. Man, this is better than the first time
I got to finger a chick, man.Copy !req
537. - It's happening, man!
- WURP!Copy !req
538. - This is so lucky.
- We got two hours to spare.Copy !req
539. - Check out that parking space, you guys.
- Get in there.Copy !req
540. Ample time to go to the station
and grab our tickets.Copy !req
541. You know what,
God is smiling down upon us tonight.Copy !req
542. That's weird.
I figured he'd be pissed as hell at me.Copy !req
543. Yeah!Copy !req
544. This is so awesome.Copy !req
545. - Dude.
- I cannot wait, man. I can't wait.Copy !req
546. - Yeah.
- Kiss!Copy !req
547. We're gonna go to Kiss!Copy !req
548. We're gonna go to Kiss!Copy !req
549. - Yeah!
- Let's get out of here, man.Copy !req
550. - Simple Simon?
- Yeah, the one and only.Copy !req
551. Hey, you kids are gonna have
to hurry up.Copy !req
552. - I'm due at Cobo Hall for the warm-up.
- We're right behind you, Simon.Copy !req
553. We wanna thank you for handing over
those tickets to me and my buddies.Copy !req
554. Your name isn't Trip, is it?Copy !req
555. Oh, no. My name's Trip. Remember?
We were talking on the phone?Copy !req
556. - Go, caller.
- Eugene Klein...Copy !req
557. Stanley Eisen, Peter Criscuola,
and Paul Frehley.Copy !req
558. You just got yourself
four tickets and four backstage passes to Kiss...Copy !req
559. live at Cobo Hall tonight!
We won! Aah!Copy !req
560. Stay on the line so we can get
your full name, information and...Copy !req
561. Trip? Man, you didn't hang up on me,
did you, Trip?Copy !req
562. What kind of total moron would hang up
after winning Kiss tickets?Copy !req
563. Well, there you have it.Copy !req
564. We had no choice. We had to give
the tickets to the next caller. I'm sorry.Copy !req
565. - Whoa, whoa, hey, relax!
- I hate you!Copy !req
566. I'll kill you!Copy !req
567. This noise machine is more
than just a quartet of lousy musicians.Copy !req
568. Now there's a woman who totally
abuses her privilege of motherhood.Copy !req
569. - What is Kiss backwards?
- Sick!Copy !req
570. Oh, shit. Guys, where's the Volvo?Copy !req
571. - It was fucking stolen, man.
- Christine stole it.Copy !req
572. Asleep, my ass.
Stella booted with your mom's wheels.Copy !req
573. Son of a bitch, man.
How could this happen?Copy !req
574. - Heh, heh.
- Why are you laughing?Copy !req
575. I'm starting to get real mad. Jam, you ass.Copy !req
576. Why'd you talk us
into picking up this bitch?Copy !req
577. - I'm sorry, man. I was trying to be nice...
- I'm sick of your nice shit.Copy !req
578. Drummers are supposed
to have some fucking balls.Copy !req
579. I was being conscientious. I didn't think
she was gonna steal his mom's car.Copy !req
580. Jam, just shut your faggoty-ass mouth,
okay?Copy !req
581. You're pissing me off.Copy !req
582. Now, we came all this way...Copy !req
583. we got an hour and 45 minutes...Copy !req
584. and we got absolutely nothing.Copy !req
585. And so help me, God,
we are going to that concert.Copy !req
586. We must get the cops in
on this Volvo situation.Copy !req
587. Lex, this is Detroit.Copy !req
588. You think the cops are gonna waste
city dollars on a Swedish car?Copy !req
589. You're right.
I mean, my mom's got insurance.Copy !req
590. - Why am I freaking out?
- Yeah.Copy !req
591. It's cool. She's gonna try to ground me.
I don't give a shit, man.Copy !req
592. Exactly. Cool, bro.Copy !req
593. Oh, shit! Man, I'm in big trouble.Copy !req
594. I'm in big fucking trouble!
The car's gone, man!Copy !req
595. Shut the fuck up, man. We're trying to think.Copy !req
596. Wait a second, man.Copy !req
597. I know how we can get
the fucking tickets, man.Copy !req
598. We'll beat the fucking shit
out of four little kids or something.Copy !req
599. - Like, take their fucking tickets.
- Brilliance, Trip.Copy !req
600. Sheer fucking brilliance.Copy !req
601. Why don't you give Albert Einstein here
the fucking Nobel Prize?Copy !req
602. Look, I think I can barter with a scalper.Copy !req
603. If you guys can think of a better plan,
go for it.Copy !req
604. For the next hour and a half,
it's every dude for himself.Copy !req
605. We'll reconvene at that intersection
at 8:45.Copy !req
606. - I'll see you guys later. Good luck.
- I don't know what the fuck we're doing.Copy !req
607. Look around you tonight, mothers.Copy !req
608. Look at all the young faces.Copy !req
609. Oh, they smile and they laugh...Copy !req
610. but their eyes have lost all hope.Copy !req
611. This satanic group Kiss
has stolen their souls.Copy !req
612. We...Copy !req
613. Shit.Copy !req
614. I do not know how you got here tonight,
and I do not want to know.Copy !req
615. All I know is you are going to pay dearly
for this one, young man.Copy !req
616. Oh, my God.Copy !req
617. The mass, Father, so inspirational.
Father, thank you.Copy !req
618. - Thank you. Come again next week.
- Father.Copy !req
619. It's Jeremiah.Copy !req
620. I'm desperate.Copy !req
621. My son was about to defy God...Copy !req
622. by going to that blasphemous
Kiss concert.Copy !req
623. In that case, come right in.Copy !req
624. He and his mom just went into that church.Copy !req
625. Can I go and say goodbye to him?Copy !req
626. Beth, I am not gonna let you
wander the streets of Detroit after dark.Copy !req
627. I'm not going to wander.
I'm just gonna go over there.Copy !req
628. - Fine. As long as we know where you are.
- Thank you.Copy !req
629. Don't be too long.
We need to be getting back on the road.Copy !req
630. - Stuart.
- Just relax.Copy !req
631. She's probably got a crush on the kid
or something.Copy !req
632. Hey, chief, need a ticket?
Second row, center, but it's 75 clams.Copy !req
633. Oh, man, this is all I got. Look.Copy !req
634. Well, man, scare up the extra gravy,
brother, take it easy.Copy !req
635. Wait a minute, where am I supposed to find
that kind of money in an hour, man?Copy !req
636. Well, um, check it out over there.
There's a little contest going on.Copy !req
637. Take off your pants, shake your wee wee,
get a hundred bucks.Copy !req
638. I can't take off my clothes and go in there
and dance like that, man.Copy !req
639. I mean, that's embarrassing, man.Copy !req
640. Check it out. The question you gotta ask
yourself is how badly do you want to see...Copy !req
641. the greatest fucking rock 'n' roll show
on the fucking Earth, right?Copy !req
642. You're talking Gene and Paul live, y'all.Copy !req
643. I'm talking about voluptuous women
in the audience.Copy !req
644. I'm talking big breastises in tight vestises,
my friend.Copy !req
645. You're talking people
passing around joints.Copy !req
646. You're talking about
fucking Detroit Rock City, brother.Copy !req
647. Shake your wee wee.Copy !req
648. I got stage fright. And they're playing
fucking disco over there.Copy !req
649. Shit or get off the pot, rock star.
You want to dance?Copy !req
650. Or you wanna see Kiss on album covers
for the rest of your life?Copy !req
651. Mm.Copy !req
652. Second row, center, brother.
Go shake your wee wee.Copy !req
653. - You're gonna have that ticket for me, right?
- Oh, yeah, man.Copy !req
654. You got my, uh... You got my solemn oath as a...
As a public servant.Copy !req
655. Go for it, brother.Copy !req
656. All right.Copy !req
657. See you around.Copy !req
658. Hey, chief, you need a ticket?
Seventy-five bucks, second row, center.Copy !req
659. No, man, I'm gonna beat my ticket
out of some poor defenseless chump.Copy !req
660. You know what I mean?Copy !req
661. - Yeah, whatever, reefer-head.
- Yeah.Copy !req
662. You fucking burnout.Copy !req
663. 'Cause baby I believe that you're a starCopy !req
664. Everyone's a winner, baby
That's the truthCopy !req
665. Making love to you is such a thrillCopy !req
666. Whoo! Yeah! Take it off, honey! Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
667. Everyone's a winner, baby
That's no lieCopy !req
668. You never fail to satisfyCopy !req
669. - Give me.
- Ah! Ah!Copy !req
670. Don't do that.Copy !req
671. I need to sign up for the contest,
please.Copy !req
672. You're scrawny but thanks to the concert
we're low on amateurs. Name?Copy !req
673. - Hawk.
- Pick a song, Hawk.Copy !req
674. You got any Kiss?Copy !req
675. Doubtful. Drink?Copy !req
676. Yeah. A man's drink.Copy !req
677. Oh, God.Copy !req
678. What's this?Copy !req
679. You've never seen a bourbon
on the rocks before?Copy !req
680. Oh.Copy !req
681. Save your money, stud muffin.Copy !req
682. Lady at the end of the bar sends her love.Copy !req
683. Oh, shit.Copy !req
684. Wow.Copy !req
685. Cheers?Copy !req
686. Aah! God!Copy !req
687. It's gone bad.Copy !req
688. Hey, you little twerps.Copy !req
689. Give me your Kiss tickets
or I'll pop your faces in.Copy !req
690. - But we don't have any Kiss tickets.
- Yeah. Kiss sucks.Copy !req
691. What? I ought to kick your asses
for saying that.Copy !req
692. Give me this instead.
Now, scram. Get out of here.Copy !req
693. Cool.Copy !req
694. Simple Simon coming at you.Copy !req
695. It's 30 minutes and counting
until Kiss hits the stage tonight...Copy !req
696. at Detroit's very own Cobo Hall.Copy !req
697. But until then,
here they are with "Shock Me."Copy !req
698. Rock on, Ace!Copy !req
699. Hey, little kid.Copy !req
700. - Shit. You just stumped my last ball...
- Scream and I'll kick your head off.Copy !req
701. Okay, booger, your Kiss ticket or your life.Copy !req
702. Please, sir, don't beat me up.Copy !req
703. I do have a Kiss ticket, but not on me.Copy !req
704. Oh, likely story. Now, hand it over, punk.Copy !req
705. No, really. My brother's
hanging on to it for safekeeping.Copy !req
706. Please, let me get him for you.Copy !req
707. Hey, Chongo.Copy !req
708. Look, little kid...Copy !req
709. I don't need to see Kiss that bad.
- Don't try to run, you maggot.Copy !req
710. Chongo's an all-state track star
in every event.Copy !req
711. Lookit, man...Copy !req
712. you can have my wallet, okay?
- I was gonna take your wallet anyway...Copy !req
713. after Chongo and his friends crush
your ribcage like a pack of Luckys, punk.Copy !req
714. - This fairy giving you shit, bro?
- He was gonna mug me for my Kiss tickets.Copy !req
715. That's nuts.Copy !req
716. Heh. I said, "Hey, little kid, you know
where I could take a piss?"Copy !req
717. Okay, pimple dick, you have the option
of walking outside or getting dragged out.Copy !req
718. Please, sir...Copy !req
719. don't kick my ass.Copy !req
720. I'll do anything to get out of a beating.Copy !req
721. Say, Chongo...Copy !req
722. perhaps we could use some extra cash
for tasty snacks at the Kiss concert...Copy !req
723. our weaselly friend won't be attending.Copy !req
724. Hey, move those lights over there.Copy !req
725. - Hey, you.
- Man.Copy !req
726. Hey, come back here!Copy !req
727. Shit.Copy !req
728. Come here.Copy !req
729. All right, wise guy. You are so out of here.Copy !req
730. Fuck. Hey, keep your paws to yourself,
you dumb fucking ape.Copy !req
731. Where'd he go? Did you see him?Copy !req
732. It's been a while
since my boy had holy confession.Copy !req
733. - Could you please...?
- Consider it done.Copy !req
734. Oh.Copy !req
735. It is about time that you gave up
that stupid dream of yours once and for all.Copy !req
736. No son of mine
is gonna be a career musician...Copy !req
737. ever, ever, ever!Copy !req
738. - Madam, madam.
- Shh.Copy !req
739. We are in a cathedral.Copy !req
740. - I'll walk you out.
- Sorry. I'm sorry.Copy !req
741. Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.Copy !req
742. This is my first confession
in a really long time.Copy !req
743. That was our Viking, Patrick Hirsch,
and he's hung like a Norse.Copy !req
744. Our next amateur has a name like a bird,
and if you like birds, you'll like this:Copy !req
745. - It's just a swallow.
- Aw!Copy !req
746. So put your hands together,
make him feel at home...Copy !req
747. and please welcome Hawk.Copy !req
748. Oh, shit.Copy !req
749. No, no, no.Copy !req
750. - No way, man.
- You're not gonna chicken out now, are you?Copy !req
751. You're right, Dicky.Copy !req
752. You're right, man.Copy !req
753. Shit. What am I saying?
I gotta do this. It's for Kiss.Copy !req
754. Ow.Copy !req
755. Oh, my God.Copy !req
756. The stink.Copy !req
757. Maestro.Copy !req
758. I know a thing or two about herCopy !req
759. I know she'll only make you cryCopy !req
760. Everybody says she's looking goodCopy !req
761. And the lady knows it's understoodCopy !req
762. StrutterCopy !req
763. She wears her satins like a ladyCopy !req
764. She gets her way just like a childCopy !req
765. You take her home and she says
"Maybe, baby"Copy !req
766. She takes you down and drives you wildCopy !req
767. Everybody says she's looking goodCopy !req
768. Whoo!Copy !req
769. And the lady knows it's understoodCopy !req
770. Take it off!Copy !req
771. StrutterCopy !req
772. Oh. Whoa.Copy !req
773. Ow.Copy !req
774. Oh, man! Hey!Copy !req
775. - Hey!
- Man.Copy !req
776. Come back, you little punk!Copy !req
777. Move!Copy !req
778. Hey!Copy !req
779. - What are you doing?
- Move it!Copy !req
780. Get off me, you bitch!Copy !req
781. Get up. Come on, move it, sweetie.Copy !req
782. Watch it, asshole.Copy !req
783. Where is he? Where did he go this time?Copy !req
784. - Two hundred bucks?
- My time's precious.Copy !req
785. That's a reasonable price to pay
for your sorry life.Copy !req
786. Hold on, man.Copy !req
787. Look, I know how I can get the money.Copy !req
788. I just figured it out, man.Copy !req
789. Oh, yes.Copy !req
790. But you might wanna wait outside.Copy !req
791. - I don't trust him.
- I think he's on the level.Copy !req
792. He's too stupid to do anything sneaky
anyway.Copy !req
793. Look at him. He's a moron.Copy !req
794. You got 15 minutes
and not a second longer.Copy !req
795. Are you sure
that you don't wanna talk...Copy !req
796. about, uh, oh, carnal knowledge
with a neighborhood girl?Copy !req
797. Or how about finding
a box of magazines, huh?Copy !req
798. Under your dad's bed?Copy !req
799. No.Copy !req
800. Well, then I suggest
you try to think of something...Copy !req
801. a little juicier to confess
than losing Kiss tickets.Copy !req
802. Shh.Copy !req
803. Beth?Copy !req
804. Shh.Copy !req
805. Are you waiting for a confession?
I thought you were Jewish.Copy !req
806. I have a confession.Copy !req
807. - I didn't mean for that to be so, um, intense.
- I can take it.Copy !req
808. I've been in love with you
since the moment I saw you.Copy !req
809. I've just always been too scared to show it.Copy !req
810. That's exactly the same way
I've always felt about you.Copy !req
811. - Jeremiah, really?
- Really.Copy !req
812. And call me Jam.Copy !req
813. It's my band name.Copy !req
814. Jam.Copy !req
815. And now for our grand prize of $100...Copy !req
816. Don't worry, ladies, I'm not competing.Copy !req
817. If I did, you'd want your money back.Copy !req
818. And the winner is:Copy !req
819. - Sir Loin!
- Yes! Yes!Copy !req
820. Hey, don't look so sad.Copy !req
821. The night is young and filled
with compensatory possibilities.Copy !req
822. Oh, heh.Copy !req
823. Oh, thanks for the drinks.
That was really generous.Copy !req
824. There's no reason for me to be around
these parts anymore, you know.Copy !req
825. I'm in a position
to spend some money on you...Copy !req
826. if you'd get in a position
and spend some time on me.Copy !req
827. I can't believe you're thinking
of robbing this store.Copy !req
828. You don't pass GO and collect $200
for pulling stuff like this.Copy !req
829. No shit. Is this really worth it? I mean,
sure, you're gonna get your ass kicked...Copy !req
830. nine ways to Sunday
by that fucking gorilla...Copy !req
831. but, I mean,
that's still a hundred times better...Copy !req
832. than getting it porked
for the next three to five.Copy !req
833. And what about that girl, Trip?Copy !req
834. She'll never forget this night.Copy !req
835. Even if you get away with it,
she'll be scarred for life.Copy !req
836. When are you gonna realize
that sometimes being tough...Copy !req
837. means being tender?Copy !req
838. All right, everybody, shut up!Copy !req
839. Mm-hm.Copy !req
840. Gonna have to do this sometime.Copy !req
841. Might as well be now.Copy !req
842. - Okay.
- Evening, honey.Copy !req
843. You know what I am, what this is, and
what you need to do, so let's do it quick.Copy !req
844. Everybody else, kindly introduce
yourselves to the floor and kiss it hello.Copy !req
845. - Do it or die, bitch.
- Please, mister, I'm just a high school kid.Copy !req
846. - Aah!
- Fuck school.Copy !req
847. I just went through the motions
till I was old enough to drop out.Copy !req
848. And where's all that studying
going to get you tonight?Copy !req
849. Robbed at gunpoint
and possibly shot in the fucking head.Copy !req
850. Hey, scumbag, drop it,
or I'll blow your head off.Copy !req
851. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
852. You and what army?Copy !req
853. The Kiss Army.Copy !req
854. Oh, God, they're in there.Copy !req
855. - Oh, shit.
- Come on.Copy !req
856. Oh, God. God, if you get me out of this...Copy !req
857. I swear I will never pull my pork again.Copy !req
858. - Give me your gun, boy.
- No. You give me your gun, boy.Copy !req
859. I don't even think you have a gun.Copy !req
860. Neither do I.Copy !req
861. For the last time...Copy !req
862. take the piece out, lay back down,
or your mom's gonna need Mr. Clean...Copy !req
863. to get the brains out of your ski cap.Copy !req
864. - Aah!
- Let go of it.Copy !req
865. Let go.Copy !req
866. Thank you. Thank you.Copy !req
867. Who are you?Copy !req
868. Ah, they call me Dr. Love.Copy !req
869. Is it true that Gene Simmons had
a cow's tongue grafted onto his real tongue?Copy !req
870. I think he, uh, had the piece of skin...Copy !req
871. under his tongue removed
so he could stick it out farther.Copy !req
872. I was gonna send you this, but...Copy !req
873. - Ann Arbor?
- Yeah.Copy !req
874. My dad's company is relocating him.Copy !req
875. That's why I was acting
so freaky at school today.Copy !req
876. I thought it'd be the last time
I'd ever get to see you.Copy !req
877. Oh, fuck.Copy !req
878. You'd better have something really sinful
for me this time, son.Copy !req
879. All right, Father, here it is.Copy !req
880. I feel a little ashamed talking to you
about this, but I went to my cousin's wedding.Copy !req
881. And one of the bridesmaids asked me
if I wanted to take a bath.Copy !req
882. This is terrible.Copy !req
883. This girl was a total fox.Copy !req
884. So I finally gave in to temptation about
a block away from the wedding reception...Copy !req
885. at this little motel
that charges by the hour.Copy !req
886. When she peeled off that gown...Copy !req
887. you are not gonna believe
what she was wearing underneath.Copy !req
888. Was it a teddy?Copy !req
889. - Oh, no.
- A bustier?Copy !req
890. - Uh-uh.
- Satin underwear?Copy !req
891. Crotchless panties?Copy !req
892. Leopard-skin bra?Copy !req
893. Fishnet leotard?Copy !req
894. A leather G-string?Copy !req
895. All right, guys, here. You want a sandwich?
Come on. Go. Go!Copy !req
896. Okay, fuck it, man. I just... I give up.Copy !req
897. Oh, God, man, what now? Wolves?Copy !req
898. All right.Copy !req
899. So I jump in the car. I hot-wire it in,
like, 30 seconds. I start driving.Copy !req
900. Suddenly, I hear this scream.
The disco queen was asleep...Copy !req
901. in the backseat the whole time.Copy !req
902. - What are we gonna do with her anyway?
- I don't know, but she looks like fun.Copy !req
903. Yeah.Copy !req
904. - Hey, hey, take it easy.
- Aah! God.Copy !req
905. You don't wanna get any whiskey dick
around here now.Copy !req
906. Of course, you don't have to worry
about that, do you, woody?Copy !req
907. Ooh. Aah!Copy !req
908. Oh, shit! Oh, wow.Copy !req
909. I see you've met premature Peter.
Heh, heh.Copy !req
910. - I'm sorry.
- It's okay.Copy !req
911. It's been, uh, quite a night.Copy !req
912. So far, you've seen me
and my dick throw up.Copy !req
913. Hey, I'm sure there's more
where that came from, right?Copy !req
914. Now, come here.Copy !req
915. Oh.Copy !req
916. Better kill me before you do
what you're thinking about...Copy !req
917. doing to me, because when I get angry,
I can bite down very hard.Copy !req
918. Sweet Polly Purebred's got some spunk,
huh?Copy !req
919. - I'll give her some spunk, all right.
- We stripped that Beemer in 15 minutes.Copy !req
920. I'd say we could strip her in 15 seconds.Copy !req
921. Hey. Now, wait a minute, guys.
Come on, two on one ain't fair.Copy !req
922. Why don't you let me get
my friend Barbara?Copy !req
923. I'm telling you, you'd love her.
Tits the size of your head.Copy !req
924. You'll feel like a little baby sucking
on them. You guys like disco?Copy !req
925. I teach disco dancing back at my church.Copy !req
926. You look like you got a rhythm
in your blood.Copy !req
927. Free lessons if you let me go.Copy !req
928. Oh, I know a dance we could do.Copy !req
929. The horizontal hustle.Copy !req
930. Hey, peanut turds.Copy !req
931. I'm here for the girl and the car.Copy !req
932. You can try to stop me, but you're not
gonna like what happens if you do.Copy !req
933. It's too bad. He was such a young idiot.Copy !req
934. Hey, he's a stupid boy.Copy !req
935. He deserves to fucking die.Copy !req
936. Tear these grease monkeys a new asshole.Copy !req
937. One step out of that office,
and your asses are Alpo.Copy !req
938. I always come prepared.Copy !req
939. Oh, wow, Lex. You're the coolest.Copy !req
940. I believe you were promised a ride
to Disco Inferno.Copy !req
941. Let me escort you to the car.Copy !req
942. Hey, what about the fucking dogs?Copy !req
943. - You got a phone in there, man?
- Yes.Copy !req
944. Call the cops.Copy !req
945. Beth, I feel like such an idiot.Copy !req
946. Why didn't I just say something
a year and a half ago?Copy !req
947. Don't think about the past.Copy !req
948. Let's just think about from today on.Copy !req
949. I'll never forget you, Jam.Copy !req
950. - Church will never be the same.
- Heh.Copy !req
951. Yeah.Copy !req
952. Goddamn it, Beth.Copy !req
953. Yeah, I'm coming, Dad.Copy !req
954. Well...Copy !req
955. So, um, I'll call you...Copy !req
956. as soon as we get a phone.Copy !req
957. - All right.
- Yeah.Copy !req
958. Bye.Copy !req
959. Bye.Copy !req
960. - I hope this helps.
- No, no. You know what?Copy !req
961. Strange as it may seem,
I don't think I can take the money.Copy !req
962. It's just... It'll cheapen the whole experience.Copy !req
963. I ain't no midnight cowboy
or anything like that.Copy !req
964. I'm not paying you for the lovemaking.Copy !req
965. I want you to have this for whatever it was
you needed it for when I made the offer.Copy !req
966. Thanks. Yeah.Copy !req
967. Was there any money taken?Copy !req
968. Nope. But it is Smiley Mart's policy
to hand over a cash reward...Copy !req
969. of a hundred and fifty dollars
to anyone who stops a robbery.Copy !req
970. I gave him the money and he took off.Copy !req
971. Yeah, okay. Uh...Copy !req
972. Thanks. Hey, you see this guy again,
you give us a call, all right?Copy !req
973. We wanna ask him a few questions.Copy !req
974. If I see Dr. Love again anytime soon...Copy !req
975. you're gonna have to wait
till I'm done with him first.Copy !req
976. One-thirty...Copy !req
977. 140 and 150.Copy !req
978. That's all I got, man.Copy !req
979. Tsk, tsk. Tsk.Copy !req
980. I really wanted things to work out
for you, my weaselly, dimwitted friend.Copy !req
981. You got spunk. Chongo.Copy !req
982. At least I still got you, Stretch.Copy !req
983. I took his head off.Copy !req
984. Kiss? How dare they call
themselves Kiss.Copy !req
985. Kiss is about love.Copy !req
986. They are teaching our children
lust, betrayal, and hate.Copy !req
987. - We, as parents are obligated...
- How's it going, Mom?Copy !req
988. - Jeremiah.
- I'm gonna ask you this nicely first.Copy !req
989. Can I have my drumsticks back?Copy !req
990. Your drumsticks are the least
of your worries, young man.Copy !req
991. You ran out on God.Copy !req
992. My son just ran out on God.Copy !req
993. - You are in a world of...
- Trouble? Ha-ha-ha!Copy !req
994. I've been in trouble for the past 12 hours.
Hello?Copy !req
995. I'm gonna be in
St. Bernard's boarding school...Copy !req
996. for the next two years of my life.
- Yes.Copy !req
997. I'm gonna be out of your hair
until I am a legal adult.Copy !req
998. - Yes!
- All you have to do is go to church...Copy !req
999. light a candle,
and pray to some stupid statue...Copy !req
1000. and all is forgiven and forgotten,
right?Copy !req
1001. Then you can spend your days
in a guilt-free pursuit...Copy !req
1002. of more constructive activities...Copy !req
1003. like telling everybody else
how screwed up their lives are.Copy !req
1004. Then you no longer need the patience
and understanding required...Copy !req
1005. in order to talk to your own son
on some normal plane.Copy !req
1006. And that way, you don't even need
to think about how tough it was for you...Copy !req
1007. when you were growing up,
probably a good thing too...Copy !req
1008. because if you did,
you'd realize what a lousy...Copy !req
1009. goddamn, shitty-ass parent you are.Copy !req
1010. Jeremiah...Copy !req
1011. what has gotten into you?Copy !req
1012. I just lost my virginity
in a confessional booth!Copy !req
1013. Lord have mercy!Copy !req
1014. - Oh, my goodness.
- Now, for the last time...Copy !req
1015. Mom, give me back
my fucking drumsticks.Copy !req
1016. Please.Copy !req
1017. Cute.Copy !req
1018. They grow up fast, don't they?Copy !req
1019. Hey, dude. Dude, I got the cash, man.
Check it out.Copy !req
1020. No!Copy !req
1021. No, that can't be the last ticket!Copy !req
1022. God! No, no, no!Copy !req
1023. You fucking bastard!Copy !req
1024. Oh.Copy !req
1025. Any luck?Copy !req
1026. Yeah, man, plenty, heh.
But it was all bad, man.Copy !req
1027. I found the Volvo.Copy !req
1028. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
1029. - Tickets?
- No.Copy !req
1030. Wait a second. I know how we can get in.Copy !req
1031. I say that we all beat the shit
out of each other, right?Copy !req
1032. We go to the ticket taker...Copy !req
1033. and we say that we got mugged
and our tickets were stolen.Copy !req
1034. I mean, they have to let us in then, right?
They have to.Copy !req
1035. Why not?Copy !req
1036. - Okay, thanks, man.
- Go.Copy !req
1037. No! No! God!Copy !req
1038. Oh, man, you gotta let us in.Copy !req
1039. Four muggers just stole our tickets.Copy !req
1040. Heh. You expect me to believe that?Copy !req
1041. Are you fucking kidding me?Copy !req
1042. Look at us.Copy !req
1043. Hey, it was those assholes right there!
They stole our tickets! Number 13!Copy !req
1044. Hey, stop those guys.Copy !req
1045. No.Copy !req
1046. - They got tickets.
- Let's see. Come here.Copy !req
1047. They even stole my wallet, man.Copy !req
1048. I've never even seen these assholes before.Copy !req
1049. In there,
you'll find my Kiss Army picture ID...Copy !req
1050. and a hundred fifty bucks cash.Copy !req
1051. - Out of here. Come on.
- Damn.Copy !req
1052. Tsk, tsk, tsk.Copy !req
1053. My midget weaselly friend.Copy !req
1054. I was really hoping things
could work out for you, you know?Copy !req
1055. You got spunk.Copy !req
1056. - Go.
- I got it, man.Copy !req
1057. We're going.Copy !req
1058. Okay, then.Copy !req
1059. We want Kiss! We want Kiss!Copy !req
1060. We want Kiss! We want Kiss!
We want Kiss!Copy !req
1061. We want Kiss! We want Kiss!
We want Kiss!Copy !req
1062. We want Kiss! We want Kiss!
We want Kiss!Copy !req
1063. This is it.Copy !req
1064. You wanted the best, and you got the best!Copy !req
1065. The hottest band in the world, Kiss!Copy !req
1066. I feel uptight on a Saturday nightCopy !req
1067. Oh, shit!Copy !req
1068. Nine o'clock
The radio's the only lightCopy !req
1069. I hear my song and it pulls me throughCopy !req
1070. It comes on strong
Tells me what I got to doCopy !req
1071. - I got to
- Get upCopy !req
1072. Everybody's gonna move their feetCopy !req
1073. Get down
Everybody's gonna leave their seatCopy !req
1074. You gotta lose your mind in Detroit Rock CityCopy !req
1075. Get up
Everybody's gonna move their feetCopy !req
1076. Get down
Everybody's gonna leave their seatCopy !req
1077. Movin' fast
Doin' ninety fiveCopy !req
1078. I hit top speed
Still movin' much too slowCopy !req
1079. I feel so good
I'm so aliveCopy !req
1080. I'm so aliveCopy !req
1081. I hear my song playin' on the radioCopy !req
1082. And it goesCopy !req
1083. Get up
Everybody's gonna move their feetCopy !req
1084. Yeah!Copy !req
1085. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1086. Get up
Everybody's gonna move their feetCopy !req
1087. - But we don't have any Kiss tickets.
- Yeah. Kiss sucks!Copy !req
1088. - But we don't have any Kiss tickets.
- Yeah. Kiss sucks!Copy !req