1. Excuse me, sir,
is there a commode?Copy !req
2. Justin!Copy !req
3. Quick, honey, take my picture.
I got the pyramid in my hand.Copy !req
4. Justin, you get
back here right now!Copy !req
5. No, stop!Copy !req
6. No, no! Stop him!
Go back! Don't climb!Copy !req
7. Wait, wait.Copy !req
8. Hold on.
Easy, little boy.Copy !req
9. Okay, stop, child!
Stop right there. No!Copy !req
10. No, no, no! Oh!
There he goes.Copy !req
11. Justin!Copy !req
12. I've got him!
I've got him!Copy !req
13. Outrage in Egypt tonight
as it was discoveredCopy !req
14. that the Great Pyramid
of Giza had been stolenCopy !req
15. and replaced by
a giant inflatable replica.Copy !req
16. There is panic throughout the
globe as countries and citizensCopy !req
17. try to protect
their beloved landmarks.Copy !req
18. Law enforcement
still has no leads,Copy !req
19. leaving everyone to wonder,
which of the world's villainsCopy !req
20. is responsible
for this heinous crime?Copy !req
21. And where will
he strike next?Copy !req
22. I'm having a bad, bad dayCopy !req
23. It's about time
that I get my wayCopy !req
24. Steamrolling whatever I seeCopy !req
25. Freeze ray! Freeze ray!
Freeze ray!Copy !req
26. I'm having a bad, bad dayCopy !req
27. If you take it personal,
that's okayCopy !req
28. Watch, this is so fun to seeCopy !req
29. Despicable meCopy !req
30. Morning, Gru!Copy !req
31. How you doing?Copy !req
32. Hello, Fred.Copy !req
33. FYI, your dog
has been leavingCopy !req
34. little bombs
all over my yard,Copy !req
35. and I don't
appreciate it.Copy !req
36. Sorry.
You know dogs.Copy !req
37. They go wherever
they want to go.Copy !req
38. Unless they're dead.Copy !req
39. I'm joking!Copy !req
40. Although, it is true.
Anyway, have a good one.Copy !req
41. Oh, okay.
Uh... Yeah.Copy !req
42. Steamrolling whatever I seeCopy !req
43. Despicable meCopy !req
44. I'm having a bad, bad dayCopy !req
45. If you take it personal,
that's okayCopy !req
46. Despicable meCopy !req
47. You've got to
be pulling on my leg!Copy !req
48. Hello!Copy !req
49. Cookies for sale.Copy !req
50. Go away.
I'm not home.Copy !req
51. Yes, you are.
I heard you.Copy !req
52. No, you didn't. ThisCopy !req
53. is a recording.Copy !req
54. No, it isn't.
Yes, it is.Copy !req
55. Watch this.
Leave a message, beep.Copy !req
56. Goodbye,
recorded message.Copy !req
57. Agnes,
come on.Copy !req
58. Huh?Copy !req
59. Kyle!Copy !req
60. Bad dog! No!
No, no. Sit. My muffin.Copy !req
61. Gru!Copy !req
62. Ah, Dr. Nefario.Copy !req
63. I know how you
must be feeling.Copy !req
64. I, too, have encountered
great disappointment,Copy !req
65. but in my eyes, you will
always be one of the greats.Copy !req
66. What? What happened?Copy !req
67. It's all over the news!Copy !req
68. Some fella just
stole a pyramid.Copy !req
69. They're saying he makes
all other villains lookCopy !req
70. lame.Copy !req
71. Assemble the minions!Copy !req
72. Minions, assemble!Copy !req
73. Okay. Okay.Copy !req
74. Three...Copy !req
75. Hey!Copy !req
76. Looking good, Kevin!
How is the family? Good?Copy !req
77. All right.Copy !req
78. That's my Billy boy!
What up, Larry?Copy !req
79. Hello, everybody!Copy !req
80. Yeah, all right!Copy !req
81. Simmer down.
Simmer down!Copy !req
82. Thank you, okay.Copy !req
83. Now, I realize that
you guys probably heardCopy !req
84. about this other villain
who stole the pyramids.Copy !req
85. Apparently,
it's a big deal.Copy !req
86. People are calling it the crime of
the century and stuff like that.Copy !req
87. But am I upset?
No, I am not!Copy !req
88. A little,Copy !req
89. but we have had a pretty
good year ourselves,Copy !req
90. and you guys are
all right in my book.Copy !req
91. No, no raises!Copy !req
92. You're not going
to get any raises.Copy !req
93. What did we do?Copy !req
94. Well, we stole
the Times Square JumboTron!Copy !req
95. Nice!Copy !req
96. Huh?Copy !req
97. That's how I roll.Copy !req
98. Yeah, you all like watching
football on that, huh?Copy !req
99. But that's not all.Copy !req
100. We stole
the Statue of Liberty,Copy !req
101. the small one
from Las Vegas.Copy !req
102. And I won't even mention
the Eiffel Tower! Also Vegas.Copy !req
103. Okay, I wasn't going to
tell you about this yet,Copy !req
104. but I have been working
on something very big!Copy !req
105. Something that will blow this
pyramid thing out of the water!Copy !req
106. And thanks to the efforts of
my good friend Dr. Nefario...Copy !req
107. Thank you!Copy !req
108. Oh, there he is.Copy !req
109. He's styling.Copy !req
110. Now, we have located
a shrink rayCopy !req
111. in a secret lab, and once
we take this shrink ray,Copy !req
112. we will have the capabilityCopy !req
113. to pull off the true
crime of the century.Copy !req
114. We are going to steal...Copy !req
115. Wait, wait! I haven't
told you what it is yet.Copy !req
116. Hey.Copy !req
117. Dave, listen up, please.Copy !req
118. Next, we are going to steal,Copy !req
119. pause for effect,Copy !req
120. the moon!Copy !req
121. And once the moon is mine,Copy !req
122. the world will give me whatever
I want to get it back!Copy !req
123. And I will be the greatest
villain of all time!Copy !req
124. That's what
I'm talking about.Copy !req
125. Yes?Copy !req
126. Hello, Gru? I've been
crunching some numbers,Copy !req
127. and I really don't see
how we can afford this.Copy !req
128. It can't be done.
I'm not a miracle worker.Copy !req
129. Hey, chillax.Copy !req
130. I'll just get another loan
from the bank. They love me!Copy !req
131. Edith, stop it!Copy !req
132. What? I'm just walking.Copy !req
133. Hi, Miss Hattie.
We're back.Copy !req
134. Hello, girls!Copy !req
135. Anybody come to adopt us
while we were out?Copy !req
136. Mmm. Let me think.Copy !req
137. No!Copy !req
138. Edith! What did you
put on my desk?Copy !req
139. A mud pie.Copy !req
140. You're never gonna get adopted, Edith.
You know that, don't you?Copy !req
141. Yeah, I know.Copy !req
142. Good.Copy !req
143. So, how did it go, girls?
Did we meet our quotas?Copy !req
144. Sort of.Copy !req
145. We sold 43 mini-mints, 30
choco-swirlies, and 18 coco-nutties.Copy !req
146. okay-Copy !req
147. Well, you say that like
it's a great sale day.Copy !req
148. Look at my face!Copy !req
149. Do you still think
it's a great sale day?Copy !req
150. Eighteen coco-nutties.Copy !req
151. I think we can do a little
better than that, don't you?Copy !req
152. Yeah.Copy !req
153. We wouldn't want to spend the weekend
in the Box of Shame, would we? No.Copy !req
154. No, Miss Hattie.Copy !req
155. Okay, good. Off you go.
Go clean something of mine.Copy !req
156. Hi, Penny.
Hi, Penny.Copy !req
157. Hi, guys.Copy !req
158. Hello, Mom. Sorry,
I meant to call, but...Copy !req
159. I just wanted to congratulate
you on stealing the pyramid.Copy !req
160. That was
you, wasn't it?Copy !req
161. Or was it a villain who's
actually successful?Copy !req
162. Just so you know, Mom,
I am about to do somethingCopy !req
163. that's very, very big,
very important.Copy !req
164. When you hear about it, you're
going to be very proud.Copy !req
165. Good luck with that.
Okay, I'm out of here.Copy !req
166. Gru to see Mr. Perkins.Copy !req
167. Yes, please have a seat.Copy !req
168. That's one
small step for man,Copy !req
169. one giant leap for mankind.Copy !req
170. Ma, someday I'm going
to go to the moon.Copy !req
171. I'm afraid
you're too late, Son.Copy !req
172. NASA isn't sending
the monkeys anymore.Copy !req
173. Hey.Copy !req
174. I'm applying for a new villain loan.
Go by the name of Vector.Copy !req
175. It's a mathematical term,Copy !req
176. a quantity represented by an arrow,
with both direction and magnitude.Copy !req
177. Vector! That's me,Copy !req
178. 'cause I'm committing crimes with
both direction and magnitude.Copy !req
179. 0h. Yeah!Copy !req
180. Check out
my new weapon.Copy !req
181. Piranha gun! Oh, yes!Copy !req
182. Fires live piranhas.
Ever seen one before?Copy !req
183. No, you haven't.
I invented it.Copy !req
184. Do you want
a demonstration?Copy !req
185. Oh! Shoot! So
difficult, sometimes,Copy !req
186. to get the piranha back inside of my...Copy !req
187. Mr. Gru,
Mr. Perkins will see you now.Copy !req
188. So, all I needCopy !req
189. is money from the bank
to build a rocket.Copy !req
190. And then, the moon is ours. Wow!Copy !req
191. Well, very nice
presentation.Copy !req
192. I'd like to see
this shrink ray.Copy !req
193. Absolutely! Will do.Copy !req
194. Soon as I have it.Copy !req
195. You don't have it?Copy !req
196. And yet you have the audacity
to ask the bank for money?Copy !req
197. Apparently.Copy !req
198. Do you have any idea of the capital that
this bank has invested in you, Gru?Copy !req
199. With far too few of your sinister
plots actually turning a profit.Copy !req
200. How can I put it?
Let's say this apple is you.Copy !req
201. If we don't start
getting our money back...Copy !req
202. Get the picture?Copy !req
203. Look, Gru, the point is, there are
a lot of new villains out there,Copy !req
204. younger than you,
hungrier than you,Copy !req
205. younger than you.Copy !req
206. Like that young fellow
out there named Vector.Copy !req
207. He just stole a pyramid!Copy !req
208. I've got it.
I've got it.Copy !req
209. Um... So, as far as getting
money for the rocket...Copy !req
210. Get the shrink ray,
then we'll talk.Copy !req
211. Suckers!Copy !req
212. Suckers!Copy !req
213. Ah-ha! We got it!Copy !req
214. What?Copy !req
215. Hey! Hey! What! Hey!Copy !req
216. No,no, no!Copy !req
217. YOu!Copy !req
218. Now, maybe you'll think twice
before you freeze someone's head!Copy !req
219. So long, Gru!Copy !req
220. Quick!
We can't let him get away!Copy !req
221. Up ahead!
Up ahead!Copy !req
222. Fire! Fire, now!Copy !req
223. Oops, you missed me!Copy !req
224. Come to papa!Copy !req
225. Take that.Copy !req
226. How adorable.Copy !req
227. Got you
in our sights!Copy !req
228. Like taking candy
from a...Copy !req
229. What?Copy !req
230. Ha! Hey, Gru!Copy !req
231. Try this on for size!Copy !req
232. That's weird.
What is going...Copy !req
233. This is claustrophobic!Copy !req
234. No,no, no!Copy !req
235. Too small!
This is too small for me!Copy !req
236. I hate that guy!Copy !req
237. and please
watch over us,Copy !req
238. and bless that we'll have
a good night's sleep.Copy !req
239. And bless that
while we're sleeping,Copy !req
240. no bugs will
crawl into our earsCopy !req
241. and lay eggs
in our brains.Copy !req
242. Great. Thanks for
that image, Edith.Copy !req
243. And please bless that
someone will adopt us soon,Copy !req
244. and that the mommy
and daddy will be niceCopy !req
245. and have a pet unicorn.Copy !req
246. Amen.Copy !req
247. Amen.
Amen.Copy !req
248. Unicorns, I
love them Unicorns, I love themCopy !req
249. Uni, uni, unicorns
I love themCopy !req
250. Uni, unicorns,
I could pet oneCopy !req
251. If they were really realCopy !req
252. And they areCopy !req
253. So, I bought one
so I could pet itCopy !req
254. Now it loves me
Now I love itCopy !req
255. La, la, la, la, laCopy !req
256. Don't you...
What the...Copy !req
257. Oh, good luck,
little girls!Copy !req
258. Whoa! Cool.Copy !req
259. Hi! We're orphans from Miss
Hattie's Home for Girls.Copy !req
260. I don't care.
Beat it! Come om!Copy !req
261. We're selling cookies so, you know,
we can have a better future.Copy !req
262. VECTOR". Ooh! Wait, wait! Do
you have coco-nutties? Yeah.Copy !req
263. Light bulb.Copy !req
264. Dr. Nefario!
Huh?Copy !req
265. I'm going to need a dozen tiny
robots disguised as cookies!Copy !req
266. What?
Cookie robots!Copy !req
267. Who is this?
Oh, forget it.Copy !req
268. Well, it appears you have
cleared our background check,Copy !req
269. Dr. Gru.Copy !req
270. Oh! And I see you
have made a listCopy !req
271. of some of your
personal achievements.Copy !req
272. Thank you for that.
I love reading.Copy !req
273. And I see you have been
given the Medal of HonorCopy !req
274. and a knighthood.Copy !req
275. Me, me, me.
Me, me, me.Copy !req
276. Kevin?Copy !req
277. You had your own
cooking showCopy !req
278. and you can hold your
breath for 30 seconds?Copy !req
279. It's not that
impressive.Copy !req
280. Uh...Copy !req
281. Idiot!Copy !req
282. Fight! Fight!
Fight! Fight!Copy !req
283. What in the name of...
What?Copy !req
284. Well, here's the dealio.Copy !req
285. Things have been
so lonely since my wife,Copy !req
286. Debbie, passed on.Copy !req
287. It's like
my heart is a tooth,Copy !req
288. and it's got a cavity that can
only be filled with children.Copy !req
289. I'm sorry.Copy !req
290. You are a beautiful woman.
Do you speak Spanish?Copy !req
291. Do I look like
I speak Spanish?Copy !req
292. You have a face
como un burro.Copy !req
293. Oh!Copy !req
294. Well, thank you!Copy !req
295. Anyway, can we proceed
with this adoption?Copy !req
296. So, so excited!Copy !req
297. Please tell Margo, Edith and
Agnes to come to the lobby.Copy !req
298. I bet the mom
is beautiful!Copy !req
299. I bet the daddy's
eyes sparkle.Copy !req
300. I bet their house is
made of Gummi Bears.Copy !req
301. I'm just saying
it'd be nice.Copy !req
302. Aw! My caterpillar never
turned into a butterfly.Copy !req
303. That's a Cheeto.Copy !req
304. Oh!Copy !req
305. Well, Debbie was
a very lucky woman.Copy !req
306. Who's Debbie?Copy !req
307. Your wife.Copy !req
308. Oh! Hi, girls!Copy !req
309. Girls, I want you
to meet Mr. Gru.Copy !req
310. He's going to adopt you.Copy !req
311. And he's a dentist!Copy !req
312. Yeah!Copy !req
313. Um...Copy !req
314. Hi. I'm Margo.
This is Edith.Copy !req
315. And that's Agnes.Copy !req
316. I got your
leg, I got your leg!Copy !req
317. Okay, that is enough,
little girl.Copy !req
318. Let go of my leg. Come on.
You can do it. Higher!Copy !req
319. Higher! Just
release your grip. Wow!Copy !req
320. How do you remove them?
ls there a command?Copy !req
321. Some nonstick spray?Copy !req
322. Crowbar?Copy !req
323. Okay, girls, let's go.Copy !req
324. Ah-ha!Copy !req
325. 0h. Yeah!Copy !req
326. Pretty impressive!Copy !req
327. What are you looking at?Copy !req
328. Boo-ya!Copy !req
329. You got shrunk,
tiny mouthwash!Copy !req
330. Take that!Copy !req
331. You done been shrunk!Copy !req
332. Yello?Copy !req
333. I got the shrink ray,
all right.Copy !req
334. No, I'm not
playing with it.Copy !req
335. Gru?Copy !req
336. Don't make me laugh! No.Copy !req
337. P.S., he is not
getting the moon,Copy !req
338. and P.P.S., by the time
I'm done with him,Copy !req
339. he's gonna be
begging for mercy.Copy !req
340. Okay, bye.Copy !req
341. Aw! Look at you, a little tiny
toilet for a little tiny baby...Copy !req
342. Curse you, tiny toilet!Copy !req
343. Okay, here we are.Copy !req
344. Home sweet home.Copy !req
345. So, this is, like,
your house?Copy !req
346. Wait a sec...Copy !req
347. You're the guy who pretended
he was a recorded message!Copy !req
348. No, that was
someone else.Copy !req
349. Can I hold your hand?Copy !req
350. Uh, no.Copy !req
351. When we got adopted
by a bald guy,Copy !req
352. I thought this'd be
more like Annie.Copy !req
353. No, hey!Copy !req
354. Kyle, these are not treats.
These are guests.Copy !req
355. Girls,
this is Kyle, myCopy !req
356. dog.Copy !req
357. Ooh! Fluffy doggy!Copy !req
358. What kind of dog
is that?Copy !req
359. He is a...
I don't know.Copy !req
360. Do you really think that this is
an appropriate place for little kids?Copy !req
361. 'Cause it's not.Copy !req
362. No! No!
Stay away from there!Copy !req
363. It's fragile.Copy !req
364. Well,I suppose the plan
will work with two.Copy !req
365. Hey!
It's dark in here.Copy !req
366. It poked a hole
in my juice box.Copy !req
367. As you can see,Copy !req
368. I have provided everything
a child might need.Copy !req
369. All right.Copy !req
370. Uh... Okay. As I was saying...
Hey!Copy !req
371. Somebody broke that.Copy !req
372. Okay, okay. Clearly, we
need to set some rules.Copy !req
373. Rule number one.Copy !req
374. You will not
touch anything.Copy !req
375. Uh-huh.
What about the floor?Copy !req
376. Yes, you may
touch the floor.Copy !req
377. What about the air?Copy !req
378. Yes, you may
touch the air!Copy !req
379. What about this?Copy !req
380. Where did you get that?
Found itCopy !req
381. Okay. Rule number two. You will
not bother me while I'm working.Copy !req
382. Rule number three.Copy !req
383. You will not cry or whine
or laugh or giggleCopy !req
384. or sneeze
or burp or far“!Copy !req
385. So,no,no, no annoying sounds.
All right?Copy !req
386. Does this count
as annoying?Copy !req
387. Very!Copy !req
388. I will see you
in six hours.Copy !req
389. Okay, don't worry.
Everything's going to be fine.Copy !req
390. We're gonna be really happy here.
Right? Agnes?Copy !req
391. Mmm?Copy !req
392. Uh, question.
What are these?Copy !req
393. A dozen boogie robots!
Boogie!Copy !req
394. Look at this. Watch me!Copy !req
395. Cookie robots.
I said cookie robots.Copy !req
396. Why are you so old?Copy !req
397. Okay. I'm on it.Copy !req
398. Hello?Copy !req
399. TV!Copy !req
400. What is that?Copy !req
401. Wow!
Look at that!Copy !req
402. That is cool!Copy !req
403. Come on!Copy !req
404. I don't think
he's a dentist.Copy !req
405. We've been working
on this for a while.Copy !req
406. It's a anti-gravity serum.Copy !req
407. I meant to close that. He'll
be all right, I'm sure.Copy !req
408. Do the effects wear off?Copy !req
409. Uh, so far,Copy !req
410. no. No, they don't.Copy !req
411. And here, of course, is the
new weapon you ordered.Copy !req
412. No, no.Copy !req
413. I said "dart gun,"
not... Okay.Copy !req
414. Oh, yes.
'Cause I was wonderingCopy !req
415. under what circumstances
would we use this?Copy !req
416. But, anyway.Copy !req
417. What I really wanted
to show you was this.Copy !req
418. Now those are
cookie robots!Copy !req
419. La, Ia,
Ia, Ia I love unicornsCopy !req
420. What are you doing here? I told
you to stay in the kitchen!Copy !req
421. We got bored.
What is this place?Copy !req
422. Can I drink this?Copy !req
423. Do you want to explode?Copy !req
424. Gru!Copy !req
425. Get back
in the kitchen!Copy !req
426. Will you play with us?
No.Copy !req
427. Why?
Because I'm busy.Copy !req
428. Doing what?Copy !req
429. Um...Copy !req
430. Okay, Okay,
YOU got me.Copy !req
431. The dentist thing
is more of a hobby.Copy !req
432. In real life,
I am a spy.Copy !req
433. And it is top secret,
and you may not tell anybody,Copy !req
434. because if you do...
What does this do?Copy !req
435. Hey!
Oops.Copy !req
436. My unicorn!Copy !req
437. You have to fix it.Copy !req
438. Fix it? Look, it has
been disintegrated.Copy !req
439. By definition,
it cannot be fixed.Copy !req
440. That's freaking me out.
What is she doing?Copy !req
441. She's gonna hold her breath
until she gets a new one.Copy !req
442. It is just a toy.
Now stop it!Copy !req
443. Okay, okay!
I'll fix it!Copy !req
444. Tim! Mark! Phil!Copy !req
445. This is very important.Copy !req
446. You have to get the little
girl a new unicorn toy.Copy !req
447. Eh?Copy !req
448. Hey, hey, hey! A toy!Copy !req
449. Go, and hurry!Copy !req
450. What are those?Copy !req
451. They are my cousins.Copy !req
452. Jerry! Stuart!Copy !req
453. Watch them, and keep them
away from me, please.Copy !req
454. Wow!Copy !req
455. Ooh!Copy !req
456. Oh!Copy !req
457. Hmm...Copy !req
458. it was your cousin's idea.Copy !req
459. What?Copy !req
460. Okay, bedtime.Copy !req
461. Aw!Copy !req
462. Aw!
Aw!Copy !req
463. Not you two!Copy !req
464. Okey-dokey. Beddie-bye.
All tucked in. Sweet dreams.Copy !req
465. Just so you know,Copy !req
466. you're never
gonna be my dad.Copy !req
467. Hmm. I think
I can live with that.Copy !req
468. Are these beds
made out of bombs?Copy !req
469. Yes, but they are very old and
highly unlikely to blow up.Copy !req
470. But try not to
toss and turn.Copy !req
471. Cool.Copy !req
472. Will you read us a bedtime story?
No.Copy !req
473. But we can't go to sleep
without a bedtime story.Copy !req
474. Well, then it's going to be a
long night for you, isn't it?Copy !req
475. So, good night, sleep tight, and
don't let the bed bugs bite.Copy !req
476. Because there are literally
thousands of them.Copy !req
477. And there's
probably something in your closet.Copy !req
478. He's just kidding, Agnes.Copy !req
479. It's beautiful.Copy !req
480. Girls, let's go.Copy !req
481. Time to deliver the cookies!Copy !req
482. Mmm. Okay. But first,
we're going to dance class.Copy !req
483. Actually, we're going to have
to skip the dance class today.Copy !req
484. Actually, we can'tCopy !req
485. skip
the dance class today.Copy !req
486. We have a big recital
coming up.Copy !req
487. We're doing an excerpt
from Swan Lake.Copy !req
488. Yeah, Swan Lake!Copy !req
489. That's fantastic.
Wonderful.Copy !req
490. But we're going to deliver cookies!
Come on!Copy !req
491. No.Copy !req
492. No?Copy !req
493. We're not going to deliver
cookies until we do dance class.Copy !req
494. Really?Copy !req
495. Well, I am not driving you
to dance class.Copy !req
496. So if you want to go, you are
going to have to walk yourselves.Copy !req
497. What are you doing?Copy !req
498. Walking to dance class.Copy !req
499. Ya? Okay, fine.Copy !req
500. You just keep walking, because
I'm really not driving you!Copy !req
501. Okay.Copy !req
502. You're going to suffer
the wrath of Gru!Copy !req
503. Seriously, I'm going
to count to three!Copy !req
504. And you had better
be in this car!Copy !req
505. Here we go! One! Two!Copy !req
506. three,
four and five.Copy !req
507. And lift, and stretch.Copy !req
508. And one, and two...Copy !req
509. Here you go.
What is it?Copy !req
510. Your ticket to the dance recital.
You are coming, right?Copy !req
511. Of course,
of course.Copy !req
512. I have pins and needles
that I'm sitting on.Copy !req
513. Pinky promise?Copy !req
514. Oh, yes.
My pinky promises.Copy !req
515. All right. Our first customer
is a man named Vector.Copy !req
516. But he's a V.Copy !req
517. You know, we're supposed
to start with the A's.Copy !req
518. Then we go to the B's.
Then we...Copy !req
519. Yes, yes!
I went to kindergarten.Copy !req
520. I know how
the alphabet works!Copy !req
521. I was just thinkingCopy !req
522. that it might be nice to
deliver Mr. Vector's first.Copy !req
523. That is all.Copy !req
524. Almost over.
It's almost over.Copy !req
525. Girls, welcome back to the fortress
of Vector-tude!Copy !req
526. Do you have
my cookies for me?Copy !req
527. Four boxes of mini-mints,
two toffee totes,Copy !req
528. two caramel clumpies and
fifteen boxes of coco-nutties.Copy !req
529. Exactly. I'd like to see somebody
else order that many cookies.Copy !req
530. Not likely.Copy !req
531. Name one person who ordered
more cookies than me.Copy !req
532. That'll be $52.Copy !req
533. Right.Copy !req
534. Seven, eight, nine...Copy !req
535. Tic Tacs! Where was I?Copy !req
536. Seven, eight, nine...Copy !req
537. Why are you
wearing pajamas?Copy !req
538. These aren't pajamas!
This is a warm-up suit.Copy !req
539. What are you warming up for?
Stuff.Copy !req
540. What sort of stuff?Copy !req
541. Super-cool stuff
you wouldn't understand.Copy !req
542. Like sleeping?Copy !req
543. They are not pajamas!Copy !req
544. Here you go, 52 big ones.Copy !req
545. Bye!Copy !req
546. Come on!Copy !req
547. What the...Copy !req
548. Quiet down, fish!Copy !req
549. Down, boy!Copy !req
550. Ah-ha!Copy !req
551. We did it!
Come on, girls, let's go!Copy !req
552. But what about the other
people who ordered cookies?Copy !req
553. Life is full of
disappointmentsCopy !req
554. for some people.Copy !req
555. Don't do that!Copy !req
556. Super Silly Fun Land!
Can we go? Please?Copy !req
557. No.Copy !req
558. But we've never been. And it's
the funnest place on earth!Copy !req
559. Don't care.Copy !req
560. Please?
Please?Copy !req
561. We'll never ask for
anything else, ever again!Copy !req
562. Pretty please?
Please?Copy !req
563. Come on!
Come on!Copy !req
564. Light bulb.Copy !req
565. Come on!Copy !req
566. Goodbye, have fun.Copy !req
567. Sorry, dude. They can't
ride without an adult.Copy !req
568. What?Copy !req
569. Oh, my gosh!Copy !req
570. Look at that
fluffy unicorn!Copy !req
571. He's so fluffy,
I'm gonna die!Copy !req
572. You've gotta let
us play for it!Copy !req
573. No,no, no.Copy !req
574. Come on!Copy !req
575. How much for
the fluffy unicorn?Copy !req
576. Well, it is not
for sale.Copy !req
577. But all you gotta do
to win itCopy !req
578. is knock down that
little spaceship there.Copy !req
579. It's easy!Copy !req
580. Yay!Copy !req
581. Again!Copy !req
582. Wait! Come on. One more time!Copy !req
583. Just one more.Copy !req
584. I accidentally
closed my eyes.Copy !req
585. I hit it! I hit it!
That was cool.Copy !req
586. Aw!Copy !req
587. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What was that?Copy !req
588. She hit that. I saw
that with my own eyes.Copy !req
589. Hey, buddy, let me explain
something to you.Copy !req
590. You see that
little tin spaceship?Copy !req
591. You see how
it's not knocked over?Copy !req
592. Do you know what
that means, professor?Copy !req
593. It means you don't
get the unicorn!Copy !req
594. Oh! Uh-Oh!Copy !req
595. Somebody's got
a frowny face.Copy !req
596. Boo! Better luck
next time!Copy !req
597. Okay, my turn.Copy !req
598. Knocked over!Copy !req
599. It's so fluffy!Copy !req
600. Yeah!Copy !req
601. That was awesome!Copy !req
602. You blew up
the whole thing!Copy !req
603. Let's go. Let's
try another game!Copy !req
604. Gru, do you mind
if I have a quick word?Copy !req
605. Okay, girls, go play.Copy !req
606. I got the shrink ray!Copy !req
607. Cotton candy!Copy !req
608. We have 12 days until the
moon is in optimum position.Copy !req
609. We can't afford
any distractions!Copy !req
610. Get me Perkins.Copy !req
611. Ah-ha!Copy !req
612. Sorry to bother you,
Mr. Perkins,Copy !req
613. but I figured that you
would want to see this!Copy !req
614. What?Copy !req
615. Well done, Gru.Copy !req
616. Rather impressive.Copy !req
617. Now, the rest
of the plan is simple.Copy !req
618. I fly to the moon.
I shrink the moon.Copy !req
619. I grab the moon.
I sit on the toilet.Copy !req
620. What?Copy !req
621. Sorry. Sorry!Copy !req
622. Could you excuse me
for just one second?Copy !req
623. I told you not
to touch my things.Copy !req
624. I told you, I told you. I've
told you a thousand times.Copy !req
625. Hey, can we
order pizza?Copy !req
626. Pizza?
You just had lunch.Copy !req
627. Not now, for dinner.Copy !req
628. Dinner?Copy !req
629. Just“ Fine, fine, fine, whatever.
Just get back in there!Copy !req
630. Oh! Can we get
stuffed crust?Copy !req
631. Stuffed crust!
Stuffed crust!Copy !req
632. I'll stuff you
all in the crust!Copy !req
633. You're funny!Copy !req
634. Just don't come out
of that room again!Copy !req
635. All right.Copy !req
636. Sorry about that.
Where were we?Copy !req
637. You were sitting
on the toilet.Copy !req
638. No,no, no! No, I'm sorry. It was
a little attempt at humor.Copy !req
639. I know how much
you like to laughCopy !req
640. inside.
Now, I was saying...Copy !req
641. You don't seem
terribly focused, Gru.Copy !req
642. Believe me,
I am completely focused.Copy !req
643. Hello! Whoa!
What?Copy !req
644. That guy is huge!Copy !req
645. Are we on TV?
What are those? Children?Copy !req
646. What are you doing? I told
you to stay out of here!Copy !req
647. No,no, no!Copy !req
648. Freeze ray!Copy !req
649. Mr. Gru?Copy !req
650. Okay-Copy !req
651. As I was saying...Copy !req
652. No need to continue.
I've seen quite enough.Copy !req
653. But my plan...Copy !req
654. ls a great plan.Copy !req
655. I love everything about your
plan, except for one thing.Copy !req
656. You.Copy !req
657. Look, Mom, I drew a picture
of me landing on the moon!Copy !req
658. Look, Mom, I made a prototype
of the rocket out of macaroni!Copy !req
659. Look, Mom,
I made a real rocketCopy !req
660. based on the
macaroni prototype!Copy !req
661. I don't understand.Copy !req
662. Let's face reality, Gru.Copy !req
663. You've been at this for far too
long with far too little success.Copy !req
664. We're gonna put our faith,
our money, into a...Copy !req
665. Well, a younger villain.Copy !req
666. But I...Copy !req
667. It's over. Goodbye, Gru.Copy !req
668. Now, I know there have been
some rumors going aroundCopy !req
669. that the bank is
no longer funding us.Copy !req
670. Well, I am here to put
those rumors to rest.Copy !req
671. They are true.Copy !req
672. Uh-oh!Copy !req
673. In terms of money,Copy !req
674. we have no money.Copy !req
675. So how will we
get to the moon?Copy !req
676. The answer is clear.Copy !req
677. We won't.Copy !req
678. We are doomed.Copy !req
679. Now would probably
be a good timeCopy !req
680. to look for other
employment options.Copy !req
681. I know.Copy !req
682. I have fired up my resume as I
suggest that all of you do, as well.Copy !req
683. What is it?Copy !req
684. Can't you see that lam in
the middle of a pep talk?Copy !req
685. Yes!Copy !req
686. Yes, we will build
our own rocketCopy !req
687. using this and whatever
else we can find!Copy !req
688. Grab everything! Hit the junkyards!
Take apart the cars!Copy !req
689. Who needs the bank?Copy !req
690. Let's go. Let's go!Copy !req
691. Mom!
What are you doing here?Copy !req
692. And here he is
in the bathtub.Copy !req
693. Oh! Look at his
little buns.Copy !req
694. Mom.Copy !req
695. Not cool.Copy !req
696. And here, he's all dressed
up in his Sunday best.Copy !req
697. He looks like a girl!Copy !req
698. Yes, he does.
An ugly girl!Copy !req
699. You're funny!Copy !req
700. Yes! Mine's shaped
like a dead guy!Copy !req
701. Mr. Perkins,
your son is here.Copy !req
702. Send him in.Copy !req
703. Hey, Dad.Copy !req
704. You wanted to see me?Copy !req
705. Yes, I did, Victor.Copy !req
706. I am not Victor anymore.Copy !req
707. Victor was my nerd name.
Now I am Vector!Copy !req
708. Sit down!Copy !req
709. Do you know where
the shrink ray is?Copy !req
710. Duh! Back at my place.Copy !req
711. Oh, is that right? Back at your place?
Oh, that's cool.Copy !req
712. I guess Gru must just have one
that looks exactly like it!Copy !req
713. Oh! What the...
Those girls sold me cookies!Copy !req
714. Do you have any idea how lucrative
this moon heist could be?Copy !req
715. I give you the opportunity
of a lifetime,Copy !req
716. and you just blow it!Copy !req
717. No, I didn't.Copy !req
718. Oh, really?Copy !req
719. You just wait until Gru
sees my latest weapon.Copy !req
720. Squid-launcher! Oh, yeah!Copy !req
721. There's a squid on my face!Copy !req
722. Don't worry.Copy !req
723. The moon is as good as ours.Copy !req
724. Come on now,
it's bedtime.Copy !req
725. Did you brush your teeth?
Let me smell. Let me smell.Copy !req
726. You did not!Copy !req
727. Put on your PJs. Hold still.
Okay, seriously! Seriously!Copy !req
728. This is beddie-bye time,
right now.Copy !req
729. I'm not kidding around.
I mean it!Copy !req
730. But we're not tired!Copy !req
731. Well, I am tired.Copy !req
732. Will you read us
a bedtime story?Copy !req
733. No.Copy !req
734. Pretty please!Copy !req
735. The physical appearance of the
"please" makes no difference.Copy !req
736. It is still no,
so go to sleep.Copy !req
737. But we can't.
We're all hyper!Copy !req
738. And without a bedtime story, we'll
just keep getting up and bugging you.Copy !req
739. All night long.Copy !req
740. Fine.Copy !req
741. All right, all right.
Sleepy Kittens.Copy !req
742. Sleepy Kittens?Copy !req
743. What are these?
Puppets.Copy !req
744. You use them when
you tell the story.Copy !req
745. Okay, let's get
this over with.Copy !req
746. "Three little kittens
loved to play,Copy !req
747. "they had fun
in the sun all day.Copy !req
748. "Then their mother
came out and said,Copy !req
749. "'Time for kittens
to go to bed."'Copy !req
750. Wow! This is garbage.
You actually like this?Copy !req
751. Keep reading!Copy !req
752. Come on! All right,
all right, all right.Copy !req
753. "Three little kittens
started to bawl,Copy !req
754. "'Mommy, we're not
tired at all.'Copy !req
755. "Their mother smiled
and said with a purr,Copy !req
756. "'Fine, but at least
you should brush your fur."'Copy !req
757. Now you brush the fur.Copy !req
758. This is literature?Copy !req
759. A 2-year-old could have written this.
All right.Copy !req
760. "Three little kittens
with fur all brushedCopy !req
761. "said, 'We can't sleep,
we feel too rushed!'Copy !req
762. "Their mother replied,
with a voice like silk,Copy !req
763. "'Fine, but at least
you should drink your milk."'Copy !req
764. Now make them
drink the milk.Copy !req
765. I don't like this book.
This is going on forever.Copy !req
766. "Three little kittens,
with milk all gone,Copy !req
767. "rubbed their eyes
and started to yawn.Copy !req
768. "'We can't sleep,
we can't even try.'Copy !req
769. "Then their mother
sang a lullaby.Copy !req
770. "'Good night kittens,
close your eyes.Copy !req
771. "Sleep in peace
until you rise.Copy !req
772. "'Though while you sleep,
we are apart,Copy !req
773. "'your mommy loves you
with all her heart."'Copy !req
774. The end.
Okay, good night.Copy !req
775. Wait!Copy !req
776. What?Copy !req
777. What about
good night kisses?Copy !req
778. No, no. There will be no
kissing or hugging or kissing.Copy !req
779. He is not gonna
kiss us good night, Agnes.Copy !req
780. I like him. He's nice.Copy !req
781. But scary.Copy !req
782. Like Santa!Copy !req
783. Only 48 hours till the launch,
and all systems are go.Copy !req
784. Uh... About that,Copy !req
785. I was thinking that maybe we could
move the date of the heist.Copy !req
786. Please tell me this
is not as a resultCopy !req
787. of the girls'
dance recital, is it?Copy !req
788. No,no, no!Copy !req
789. The recital? Don't...
That's stupid!Copy !req
790. I just think it's kind of
weird to do it on a Saturday.Copy !req
791. I was thinking, maybe a heist
is a Tuesday thing, right?Copy !req
792. Gru, you and I have been
working on this for years.Copy !req
793. It's everything
we've dreamed of.Copy !req
794. Your chance to make history,Copy !req
795. become the man
who stole the moon!Copy !req
796. But these girls are becoming
a major distraction!Copy !req
797. They need to go.Copy !req
798. If you don't do something
about it, then I will.Copy !req
799. I understand.Copy !req
800. Good.Copy !req
801. Butt.Copy !req
802. Butt.Copy !req
803. Butt.Copy !req
804. All right. Now, when
we put our cups together,Copy !req
805. we will make the "clink"
sound with our mouths.Copy !req
806. Ready? Edith?Copy !req
807. Clink.
Clink.Copy !req
808. There we go.
And now we drink.Copy !req
809. And Agnes?Copy !req
810. Clink.
Clink.Copy !req
811. Very good!Copy !req
812. Excuse me, girls.Copy !req
813. Come on!Copy !req
814. Don't worry, I'll be back.
Keep clinking.Copy !req
815. Clink, clink.
Clink, clink.Copy !req
816. Oh!Copy !req
817. Miss Hattie,
what are you doing here?Copy !req
818. I'm here for the girls.
I received a callCopy !req
819. that you wanted
to return them.Copy !req
820. And also, I did purchase
a Spanish dictionary.Copy !req
821. I didn't like
what you said.Copy !req
822. But...Copy !req
823. Oh!Copy !req
824. I will get the girls ready.Copy !req
825. Don't let her
take us, Mr. Gru!Copy !req
826. Tell her you wanna keep us.Copy !req
827. All right, girls.
Come on, let's go.Copy !req
828. Goodbye, Mr. Gru.
Thanks for everything.Copy !req
829. I did it
for your own good.Copy !req
830. Come on,
let's go get that moon.Copy !req
831. Right.Copy !req
832. What is this for?Copy !req
833. The recital?Copy !req
834. I am the greatest criminal
mind of the century.Copy !req
835. I don't go to little
girls' dance recitals!Copy !req
836. Opening launch bay doors.
Commencing launch sequence.Copy !req
837. And we are good to go
in T minus 10 seconds.Copy !req
838. Ten, nine, eight, seven,Copy !req
839. six...Copy !req
840. 0h. Yeah!Copy !req
841. Nice work, Doctor.
All systems go.Copy !req
842. Boo-ya!Copy !req
843. My flight suit.Copy !req
844. Oh, yeah!
Once again, the mighty...Copy !req
845. Whoa!Copy !req
846. Ah-ha!Copy !req
847. I've got it!Copy !req
848. I've got the moon!Copy !req
849. I can make it!Copy !req
850. Wait a minute!Copy !req
851. Kevin!Copy !req
852. Come on, come on!Copy !req
853. He's still not here.Copy !req
854. Why would he come?
He gave us up.Copy !req
855. But he pinky promised!Copy !req
856. Girls, girls, places!Copy !req
857. No, we can't start yet! We're
still expecting someone.Copy !req
858. Can we just wait
a few more minutes?Copy !req
859. All right. Butjust
a few more minutes.Copy !req
860. He's not coming, guys.Copy !req
861. Gru! Gru, can you hear me?Copy !req
862. Quick, we have to warn him, and fast!Copy !req
863. Okay, okay.
There's the library.Copy !req
864. That's Third Street.
The dance studio...Copy !req
865. There! There!
There it is!Copy !req
866. Sorry, buddy.
Show's over.Copy !req
867. Over?Copy !req
868. Vector, open up!Copy !req
869. First give me the moon.
Then we'll talk.Copy !req
870. AGNES'. Mr. Gru!Copy !req
871. Zip it, Happy Meal.Copy !req
872. Now, the girls.Copy !req
873. Actually, I think I'll hold on
to them a little while longer.Copy !req
874. No!Copy !req
875. Oh, yeah! Unpredictable!Copy !req
876. Listen close,
you little punk.Copy !req
877. When I get in there, you are
in for a world of pain!Copy !req
878. I'm really scared!Copy !req
879. He is gonna
kick your butt.Copy !req
880. What?
He punched my shark!Copy !req
881. Ha! There he is!Copy !req
882. Hang on, Gru.Copy !req
883. Oh, no!Copy !req
884. Ow?Copy !req
885. Vector has the girls. Go!Copy !req
886. What happened to the ship?
It's big again!Copy !req
887. Not as big as the moon
is going to be! What?Copy !req
888. The larger the mass
of an object,Copy !req
889. the quicker the effects
of the shrink ray wear off!Copy !req
890. I call it
the Nefario Principle.Copy !req
891. I just came up
with it now, actually.Copy !req
892. Oh, no!Copy !req
893. Did you see that?Copy !req
894. Vector! Help!
Vector!Copy !req
895. Over here!
Hey!Copy !req
896. What are you girls
doing back there?Copy !req
897. The moon!Copy !req
898. Ouch!Copy !req
899. Watch out!Copy !req
900. Get as close in
as you can.Copy !req
901. You got it.Copy !req
902. Mr. Gru, up here!Copy !req
903. Mr. Gru!Copy !req
904. Okay, girls! Girls!Copy !req
905. You're going to have to jump.
Jump?Copy !req
906. Are you insane?Copy !req
907. Don't worry,
I will catch you.Copy !req
908. You gave us back!Copy !req
909. I know, I know. And it is the
worst mistake I ever made.Copy !req
910. But you have to
jump now.Copy !req
911. It'll be okay.Copy !req
912. Okay, girls.Copy !req
913. Jump now!Copy !req
914. Margo,
I will catch you.Copy !req
915. And I will never
let you go again.Copy !req
916. Not so fast!
No!Copy !req
917. Let me go!Copy !req
918. Margo!Copy !req
919. Whoa!Copy !req
920. I'm coming, Margo.
Hang on!Copy !req
921. I got you..Copy !req
922. No!Copy !req
923. Oh, Poop-Copy !req
924. This time, good triumphs,Copy !req
925. and the moon
has been returnedCopy !req
926. to its rightful
place in the sky.Copy !req
927. But once again, law enforcement is
baffled, leaving everyone to wonder,Copy !req
928. who is this mysterious hero?Copy !req
929. And what will he do next?Copy !req
930. Okay, girls.
Time for bed.Copy !req
931. Come on!
We want a story.Copy !req
932. Three sleepy kittens!Copy !req
933. Oh, no! Sorry. That book was
accidentally destroyed maliciously.Copy !req
934. Tonight we are going
to read a new book.Copy !req
935. This one is calledCopy !req
936. One Big Unicorn by...
Who wrote this?Copy !req
937. Oh! Me! I wrote it.
Look, it's a puppet book!Copy !req
938. Here, watch this.Copy !req
939. That's the horn!Copy !req
940. This is gonna be
the best book ever!Copy !req
941. Not to pat myself
on the back,Copy !req
942. but, yes,
it probably will be.Copy !req
943. Here we go.Copy !req
944. "One big unicorn,
strong and freeCopy !req
945. "thought he was happy
as he could be.Copy !req
946. "Then three little
kittens came aroundCopy !req
947. "and turned his
whole life upside down."Copy !req
948. Hey, that one
looks like me!Copy !req
949. No, what are you talking about?
These are kittens!Copy !req
950. Any relation to persons living or
dead is completely coincidental.Copy !req
951. "They made him laugh.Copy !req
952. "They made him cry.Copy !req
953. "He never should
have said goodbye.Copy !req
954. "And now he knows
he could never partCopy !req
955. "from those
three little kittensCopy !req
956. "that changed his heart.Copy !req
957. "The end."Copy !req
958. Okay, all right.
Good night.Copy !req
959. I love you.Copy !req
960. I love you, too.Copy !req
961. No, no!Copy !req
962. All right.Copy !req
963. Didn't I get you already?Copy !req
964. They're very good!Copy !req
965. I'm so proud of you, Son.Copy !req
966. You've turned out to be
a great parent!Copy !req
967. Just like me.Copy !req
968. Maybe even better.Copy !req
969. No, I'm fine.
Go ahead.Copy !req
970. No,no, no!Copy !req
971. Hey, Carl! Hey.Copy !req
972. Hmm?Copy !req
973. No,no, no.Copy !req
974. Me, me, me.Copy !req
975. John?Copy !req
976. No, no. Me, me, me.Copy !req
977. Oh, poop.Copy !req
978. on, no!Copy !req
979. Stop! Stop!Copy !req
980. Huh?Copy !req
981. Hello, I am Gru.Copy !req
982. Back to work,
back to work! Back to...Copy !req