1. Excuse me, sir, is
there a commode?
Copy !req
2. Justin!
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3. Quick, honey, take my picture.
I got the pyramid in my hand.
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4. Justin, you get back
here right now!
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5. No, stop!
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6. - No, no! Stop him!
- Go back! Don't climb!
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7. Wait, wait.
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8. Hold on. Easy, little boy.
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9. Okay, stop, child!
Stop right there. No!
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10. No, no, no! There he goes.
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11. Justin!
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12. I've got him! I've got him!
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13. Outrage in Egypt tonight
as it was discovered
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14. that the Great Pyramid
of Giza had been stolen
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15. and replaced by a giant
inflatable replica.
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16. There is panic throughout the
globe as countries and citizens
Copy !req
17. try to protect their
beloved landmarks.
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18. Law enforcement
still has no leads,
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19. leaving everyone to wonder,
which of the world's villains
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20. is responsible for
this heinous crime?
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21. And where will he strike next?
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22. I'm having a bad, bad day.
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23. It's about time
that I get my way.
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24. Steamrolling whatever I see.
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25. Freeze ray! Freeze ray!
Freeze ray!
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26. I'm having a bad, bad day.
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27. If you take it
personal, that's okay.
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28. Watch, this is so fun to see.
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29. Despicable me.
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30. Morning, Gru!
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31. How you doing?
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32. Hello, Fred.
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33. FYI, your dog has been leaving
little bombs all over my yard,
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34. and I don't appreciate it.
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35. Sorry. You know dogs. They
go wherever they want to go.
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36. Unless they're dead.
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37. I'm joking!
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38. Although, it is true.
Anyway, have a good one.
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39. Okay. Yeah.
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40. Steamrolling whatever I see.
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41. Despicable me
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42. I'm having a bad, bad day.
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43. If you take it
personal, that's okay.
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44. Despicable me.
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45. You've got to be
pulling on my leg!
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46. Hello!
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47. Cookies for sale.
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48. Go away. I'm not home.
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49. Yes, you are. I heard you.
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50. No, you didn't. This
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51. is a recording.
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52. - No, it isn't.
- Yes, it is.
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53. Watch this. Leave
a message, beep.
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54. Goodbye, recorded message.
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55. Agnes, come on.
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56. Kyle!
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57. Bad dog! No! No, no.
Sit. My muffin.
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58. Gru!
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59. Dr Nefario.
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60. I know how you must be feel匤g.
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61. I, too, have encountered
great disappointment,
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62. but in my eyes, you will
always be one of the greats.
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63. What? What happened?
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64. It's all over the news!
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65. Some fella just stole a pyramid.
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66. They're saying he makes
all other villains look
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67. lame.
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68. Assemble the minions!
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69. Minions, assemble!
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70. Okay. Okay.
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71. Hey!
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72. Looking good, Kevin! How
is the family? Good?
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73. All right.
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74. That's my Billy boy!
What up, Larry?
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75. Hello, everybody!
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76. Yeah, all right!
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77. Simmer down. Simmer down!
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78. Thank you, okay.
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79. Now, I realise that you
guys probably heard
Copy !req
80. about this other villain
who stole the pyramids.
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81. Apparently, it's a big deal.
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82. People are calling it the crime of
the century and stuff like that.
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83. But am I upset? No, I am not!
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84. A little,
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85. but we have had a pretty
good year ourselves,
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86. and you guys are all
right in my book.
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87. No, no raises!
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88. You're not going
to get any raises.
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89. What did we do?
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90. Well, we stole the Times
Square JumboTron!
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91. Nice!
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92. That's how I roll.
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93. Yeah, you all like watching
football on that, huh?
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94. But that's not all.
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95. We stole the Statue of Liberty,
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96. the small one from Las Vegas.
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97. And I won't even mention the
Eiffel Tower! Also Vegas.
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98. Okay, I wasn't going to
tell you about this yet,
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99. but I have been working
on something very big!
Copy !req
100. Something that will blow this
pyramid thing out of the water!
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101. And thanks to the efforts of
my good friend Dr Nefario...
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102. Thank you!
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103. There he is.
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104. He's styling.
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105. Now, we have located
a shrink ray
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106. in a secret lab, and once
we take this shrink ray,
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107. we will have the capability
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108. to pull off the true
crime of the century.
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109. We are going to steal...
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110. Wait, wait! I haven't
told you what it is yet.
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111. Hey.
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112. Dave, listen up, please.
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113. Next, we are going to steal,
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114. pause for effect,
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115. the moon!
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116. And once the moon is mine,
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117. the world will give me whatever
I want to get it back!
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118. And I will be the greatest
villain of all time!
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119. That's what I'm talking about.
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120. Yes?
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121. Hello, Gru? I've been
crunching some numbers,
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122. and I really don't see
how we can afford this.
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123. It can't be done. I'm
not a miracle worker.
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124. Hey, chillax.
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125. I'll just get another loan
from the bank. They love me!
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126. Edith, stop it!
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127. What? I'm just walking.
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128. - Hi, Miss Hattie. We're back.
- Hi, Miss Hattie. We're back.
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129. Hello, girls!
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130. Anybody come to adopt
us while we were out?
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131. Let me think.
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132. No!
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133. Edith! What did you
put on my desk?
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134. A mud pie.
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135. You're never gonna get adopted,
Edith. You know that, don't you?
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136. - Yeah, I know.
- Good.
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137. So, how did it go, girls?
Did we meet our quotas?
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138. Sort of.
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139. We sold 43 mini-mints, 30
choco-swirlies, and 18 coco-nutties.
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140. Okay.
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141. Well, you say that like
it's a great sale day.
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142. Look at my face!
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143. Do you still think
it's a great sale day?
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144. Eighteen coco-nutties.
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145. I think we can do a little
better than that, don't you?
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146. Yeah.
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147. We wouldn't want to spend the weekend
in the Box of Shame, would we? No.
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148. - No, Miss Hattie.
- No, Miss Hattie.
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149. Okay, good. Off you go. Go
clean something of mine.
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150. - Hi, Penny.
- Hi, Penny.
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151. Hi, guys.
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152. Hello, Mom. Sorry, I
meant to call, but...
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153. I just wanted to congratulate
you on stealing the pyramid.
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154. That was you, wasn't it?
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155. Or was it a villain who's
actually successful?
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156. Just so you know, Mom, I
am about to do something
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157. that's very, very
big, very important.
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158. When you hear about it, you're
going to be very proud.
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159. Good luck with that.
Okay, I'm out of here.
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160. Gru to see Mr Perkins.
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161. Yes, please have a seat.
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162. That's one small step for man,
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163. one giant leap for mankind.
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164. Ma, someday I'm going
to go to the moon.
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165. I'm afraid you're too late, Son.
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166. NASA isn't sending the
monkeys any more.
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167. Hey.
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168. I'm applying for a new villain
loan. Go by the name of Vector.
Copy !req
169. It's a mathematical term,
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170. a quantity represented by an arrow,
with both direction and magnitude.
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171. Vector! That's me,
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172. 'cause I'm committing crimes with
both direction and magnitude.
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173. Oh, yeah!
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174. Check out my new weapon.
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175. Piranha gun! Oh, yes!
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176. Fires live piranhas. Ever seen one
before? No, you haven't. I invented it.
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177. Do you want a demonstration?
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178. Shoot! So difficult, sometimes, to
get the piranha back inside of my...
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179. Mr Gru, Mr Perkins
will see you now.
Copy !req
180. So, all I need
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181. is money from the bank
to build a rocket.
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182. - And then, the moon is ours.
- Wow!
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183. Well, very nice presentation.
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184. I'd like to see this shrink ray.
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185. Absolutely! Will do.
Soon as I have it.
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186. You don't have it?
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187. And yet you have the audacity
to ask the bank for money?
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188. Apparently.
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189. Do you have any idea of the capital that
this bank has invested in you, Gru?
Copy !req
190. With far too few of your sinister
plots actually turning a profit.
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191. How can I put it? Let's
say this apple is you.
Copy !req
192. If we don't start getting
our money back...
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193. Get the picture?
Copy !req
194. Look, Gru, the point is, there are
a lot of new villains out there,
Copy !req
195. younger than you,
hungrier than you,
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196. younger than you.
Copy !req
197. Like that young fellow
out there named Vector.
Copy !req
198. He just stole a pyramid!
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199. I've got it. I've got it.
Copy !req
200. So, as far as getting
money for the rocket...
Copy !req
201. Get the shrink ray,
then we'll talk.
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202. Suckers!
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203. Suckers!
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204. We got it!
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205. What?
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206. Hey! Hey! What! Hey!
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207. No, no, no!
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208. You!
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209. Now, maybe you'll think twice
before you freeze someone's head!
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210. So long, Gru!
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211. Quick! We can't
let him get away!
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212. Up ahead! Up ahead!
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213. Fire! Fire, now!
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214. You missed me!
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215. Come to papa!
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216. Take that.
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217. How adorable.
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218. Got you in our sights!
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219. Like taking candy from a...
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220. What?
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221. Hey, Gru!
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222. Try this on for size!
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223. That's weird. What is going...
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224. This is claustrophobic!
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225. No, no, no!
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226. Too small! This is
too small for me!
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227. I hate that guy!
Copy !req
228. And please watch over us, and bless
that we'll have a good night's sleep.
Copy !req
229. And bless that while we're sleeping,
no bugs will crawl into our ears
Copy !req
230. and lay eggs in our brains.
Copy !req
231. Great. Thanks for
that image, Edith.
Copy !req
232. And please bless that
someone will adopt us soon,
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233. and that the mommy and
daddy will be nice
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234. and have a pet unicorn.
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235. Amen.
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236. - Amen.
- Amen.
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237. Unicorns, I love them
Unicorns, I love them.
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238. Uni, uni, unicorns
I love them.
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239. Uni, unicorns, I could pet one.
Copy !req
240. If they were really real.
Copy !req
241. And they are.
Copy !req
242. So, I bought one
so I could pet it.
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243. Now it loves me Now I love it.
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244. Don't you... What the...
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245. Good luck, little girls!
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246. Whoa! Cool.
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247. Hi! We're orphans from Miss
Hattie's Home for Girls.
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248. - I don't care. Beat it!
- Come on!
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249. We're selling cookies so, you know,
we can have a better future.
Copy !req
250. - Wait, wait! Do you have coco-nutties?
- Yeah.
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251. Light bulb.
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252. Dr Nefario!
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253. I'm going to need a dozen tiny
robots disguised as cookies!
Copy !req
254. - What?
- Cookie robots!
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255. - Who is this?
- Oh, forget it.
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256. Well, it appears you have
cleared our background check,
Copy !req
257. Dr Gru.
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258. And I see you have made a list
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259. of some of your
personal achievements.
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260. Thank you for that.
I love reading.
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261. And I see you have been
given the Medal of Honor
Copy !req
262. and a knighthood.
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263. - Me, me, me.
- Me, me, me.
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264. Kevin?
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265. You had your own cooking show
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266. and you can hold your
breath for 30 seconds?
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267. It's not that impressive.
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268. Idiot!
Copy !req
269. - Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
- Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Copy !req
270. What in the name of... What?
Copy !req
271. Well, here's the dealio.
Copy !req
272. Things have been so
lonely since my wife,
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273. Debbie, passed on.
Copy !req
274. It's like my heart is a tooth,
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275. and it's got a cavity that can
only be filled with children.
Copy !req
276. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
277. You are a beautiful woman.
Do you speak Spanish?
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278. Do I look like I speak Spanish?
Copy !req
279. You have a face como un burro.
Copy !req
280. Well, thank you!
Copy !req
281. Anyway, can we proceed
with this adoption?
Copy !req
282. So, so excited!
Copy !req
283. Please tell Margo, Edith and
Agnes to come to the lobby.
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284. I bet the mom is beautiful!
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285. I bet the daddy's eyes sparkle.
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286. I bet their house is
made of Gummi Bears.
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287. I'm just saying it'd be nice.
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288. My caterpillar never
turned into a butterfly.
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289. That's a Cheeto.
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290. Well, Debbie was a
very lucky woman.
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291. Who's Debbie?
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292. Your wife.
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293. Hi, girls!
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294. Girls, I want you
to meet Mr Gru.
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295. He's going to adopt you.
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296. And he's a dentist!
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297. Yeah!
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298. Hi. I'm Margo. This is Edith.
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299. And that's Agnes.
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300. I got your leg, I got your leg!
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301. Okay, that is enough,
little girl.
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302. - Let go of my leg. Come on. You can do it.
- Higher!
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303. - Higher!
- Just release your grip. Wow!
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304. How do you remove them?
Is there a command?
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305. Some nonstick spray?
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306. Crowbar?
Copy !req
307. Okay, girls, let's go.
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308. Oh, yeah!
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309. Pretty impressive!
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310. What are you looking at?
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311. Boo-ya!
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312. You got shrunk, tiny mouthwash!
Copy !req
313. Take that!
Copy !req
314. You done been shrunk!
Copy !req
315. Yello?
Copy !req
316. I got the shrink ray, all right.
Copy !req
317. No, I'm not playing with it.
Copy !req
318. Gru?
Copy !req
319. Don't make me laugh! No.
Copy !req
320. P.S., he is not
getting the moon,
Copy !req
321. and P.P.S., by the time
I'm done with him,
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322. he's gonna be begging for mercy.
Copy !req
323. Okay, bye.
Copy !req
324. Look at you, a little tiny
toilet for a little tiny baby...
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325. Curse you, tiny toilet!
Copy !req
326. Okay, here we are.
Copy !req
327. Home sweet home.
Copy !req
328. So, this is, like, your house?
Copy !req
329. Wait a sec...
Copy !req
330. You're the guy who pretended
he was a recorded message!
Copy !req
331. No, that was someone else.
Copy !req
332. Can I hold your hand?
Copy !req
333. No.
Copy !req
334. When we got adopted by a bald guy, I
thought this'd be more like Annie.
Copy !req
335. No, hey!
Copy !req
336. Kyle, these are not treats.
These are guests.
Copy !req
337. Girls, this is Kyle, my
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338. dog.
Copy !req
339. Fluffy doggy!
Copy !req
340. What kind of dog is that?
Copy !req
341. He is a... I don't know.
Copy !req
342. Do you really think that this is an
appropriate place for little kids?
Copy !req
343. 'Cause it's not.
Copy !req
344. No! No! Stay away from there!
Copy !req
345. It's fragile.
Copy !req
346. Well, I suppose the plan
will work with two.
Copy !req
347. Hey! It's dark in here.
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348. It poked a hole in my juice box.
Copy !req
349. As you can see,
Copy !req
350. I have provided everything
a child might need.
Copy !req
351. All right.
Copy !req
352. Okay. As I was saying... Hey!
Copy !req
353. Somebody broke that.
Copy !req
354. Okay, okay. Clearly, we
need to set some rules.
Copy !req
355. Rule number one.
Copy !req
356. You will not touch anything.
Copy !req
357. What about the floor?
Copy !req
358. Yes, you may touch the floor.
Copy !req
359. What about the air?
Copy !req
360. Yes, you may touch the air!
Copy !req
361. What about this?
Copy !req
362. - Where did you get that?
- Found it.
Copy !req
363. Okay. Rule number two. You will
not bother me while I'm working.
Copy !req
364. Rule number three.
Copy !req
365. You will not cry or whine
or laugh or giggle
Copy !req
366. or sneeze or burp or fart!
Copy !req
367. So, no, no, no annoying sounds.
All right?
Copy !req
368. Does this count as annoying?
Copy !req
369. Very!
Copy !req
370. I will see you in six hours.
Copy !req
371. Okay, don't worry.
Everything's going to be fine.
Copy !req
372. We're gonna be really
happy here. Right? Agnes?
Copy !req
373. Question. What are these?
Copy !req
374. A dozen boogie robots! Boogie!
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375. Look at this. Watch me!
Copy !req
376. Cookie robots. I
said cookie robots.
Copy !req
377. Why are you so old?
Copy !req
378. Okay. I'm on it.
Copy !req
379. Hello?
Copy !req
380. TV!
Copy !req
381. What is that?
Copy !req
382. - Look at that!
- That is cool!
Copy !req
383. Come on!
Copy !req
384. I don't think he's a dentist.
Copy !req
385. We've been working
on this for a while.
Copy !req
386. It's a-anti-gravity serum.
Copy !req
387. I meant to close that. He'll
be all right, I'm sure.
Copy !req
388. - Do the effects wear off?
- So far
Copy !req
389. no. No, they don't.
Copy !req
390. And here, of course, is the
new weapon you ordered.
Copy !req
391. No, no.
Copy !req
392. I said "dart gun," not... Okay.
Copy !req
393. Oh, yes. 'Cause I was wondering
Copy !req
394. under what circumstances
would we use this?
Copy !req
395. But, anyway.
Copy !req
396. What I really wanted
to show you was this.
Copy !req
397. Now those are cookie robots!
Copy !req
398. La, la, la, la I
love unicorns.
Copy !req
399. What are you doing here? I told
you to stay in the kitchen!
Copy !req
400. We got bored. What
is this place?
Copy !req
401. Can I drink this?
Copy !req
402. Do you want to explode?
Copy !req
403. Gru!
Copy !req
404. Get back in the kitchen!
Copy !req
405. - Will you play with us?
- No.
Copy !req
406. - Why?
- Because I'm busy.
Copy !req
407. Doing what?
Copy !req
408. Okay, okay, you got me.
Copy !req
409. The dentist thing
is more of a hobby.
Copy !req
410. In real life, I am a spy.
Copy !req
411. And it is top secret, and
you may not tell anybody,
Copy !req
412. - because if you do...
- What does this do?
Copy !req
413. Hey!
Copy !req
414. My unicorn!
Copy !req
415. You have to fix it.
Copy !req
416. Fix it? Look, it has been disintegrated.
By definition, it cannot be fixed.
Copy !req
417. That's freaking me out.
What is she doing?
Copy !req
418. She's gonna hold her breath
until she gets a new one.
Copy !req
419. It is just a toy. Now stop it!
Copy !req
420. Okay, okay! I'll fix it!
Copy !req
421. Tim! Mark! Phil!
Copy !req
422. This is very important.
Copy !req
423. You have to get the little
girl a new unicorn toy.
Copy !req
424. Hey, hey, hey! A toy!
Copy !req
425. Go, and hurry!
Copy !req
426. What are those?
Copy !req
427. They are my cousins.
Copy !req
428. Jerry! Stuart!
Copy !req
429. Watch them, and keep them
away from me, please.
Copy !req
430. - Wow!
- Wow!
Copy !req
431. It was your cousin's idea.
Copy !req
432. What?
Copy !req
433. Okay, bedtime.
Copy !req
434. Not you two!
Copy !req
435. Okey-dokey. Beddie-bye. All
tucked in. Sweet dreams.
Copy !req
436. Just so you know,
Copy !req
437. you're never gonna be my dad.
Copy !req
438. I think I can live with that.
Copy !req
439. Are these beds
made out of bombs?
Copy !req
440. Yes, but they are very old and
highly unlikely to blow up.
Copy !req
441. But try not to toss and turn.
Copy !req
442. Cool.
Copy !req
443. - Will you read us a bedtime story?
- No.
Copy !req
444. But we can't go to sleep
without a bedtime story.
Copy !req
445. Well, then it's going to be a
long night for you, isn't it?
Copy !req
446. So, good night, sleep tight, and
don't let the bed bugs bite.
Copy !req
447. Because there are literally
thousands of them.
Copy !req
448. And there's probably
something in your closet.
Copy !req
449. He's just kidding, Agnes.
Copy !req
450. It's beautiful.
Copy !req
451. Girls, let's go.
Copy !req
452. Time to deliver the cookies!
Copy !req
453. Okay. But first, we're
going to dance class.
Copy !req
454. Actually, we're going to have
to skip the dance class today.
Copy !req
455. Actually, we can't skip
the dance class today.
Copy !req
456. We have a big recital coming up.
Copy !req
457. - We're doing an excerpt from Swan Lake.
- Yeah, Swan Lake!
Copy !req
458. That's fantastic. Wonderful.
Copy !req
459. But we're going to deliver
cookies! Come on!
Copy !req
460. No.
Copy !req
461. No?
Copy !req
462. We're not going to deliver
cookies until we do dance class.
Copy !req
463. Really?
Copy !req
464. Well, I am not driving
you to dance class.
Copy !req
465. So if you want to go, you are
going to have to walk yourselves.
Copy !req
466. What are you doing?
Copy !req
467. Walking to dance class.
Copy !req
468. Ya? Okay, fine.
Copy !req
469. You just keep walking, because
I'm really not driving you!
Copy !req
470. Okay.
Copy !req
471. You're going to suffer
the wrath of Gru!
Copy !req
472. Seriously, I'm going
to count to three!
Copy !req
473. And you had better
be in this car!
Copy !req
474. Here we go! One! Two!
Copy !req
475. Three, four and five.
Copy !req
476. And lift, and stretch.
Copy !req
477. And one, and two...
Copy !req
478. - Here you go.
- What is it?
Copy !req
479. Your ticket to the dance
recital. You are coming, right?
Copy !req
480. Of course, of course.
Copy !req
481. I have pins and needles
that I'm sitting on.
Copy !req
482. Pinkie promise?
Copy !req
483. Oh, yes. My pinkie promises.
Copy !req
484. All right. Our first customer
is a man named Vector.
Copy !req
485. But he's a V.
Copy !req
486. You know, we're supposed
to start with the A's.
Copy !req
487. Then we go to the B's.
Then we...
Copy !req
488. Yes, yes! I went to kindergarten.
I know how the alphabet works!
Copy !req
489. I was just thinking
Copy !req
490. that it might be nice to
deliver Mr Vector's first.
Copy !req
491. That is all.
Copy !req
492. Almost over. It's almost over.
Copy !req
493. Girls, welcome back to the
fortress of Vector-tude!
Copy !req
494. Do you have my cookies for me?
Copy !req
495. Four boxes of mini-mints,
two toffee totes,
Copy !req
496. two caramel clumpies and
fifteen boxes of coco-nutties.
Copy !req
497. Exactly. I'd like to see somebody
else order that many cookies.
Copy !req
498. Not likely.
Copy !req
499. Name one person who ordered
more cookies than me.
Copy !req
500. That'll be $52.
Copy !req
501. Right.
Copy !req
502. Seven, eight, nine...
Copy !req
503. Tic Tacs! Where was I?
Copy !req
504. Seven, eight, nine...
Copy !req
505. Why are you wearing pyjamas?
Copy !req
506. These aren't pyiamas!
This is a warm-up suit.
Copy !req
507. - What are you warming up for?
- Stuff.
Copy !req
508. What sort of stuff?
Copy !req
509. Super-cool stuff you
wouldn't understand.
Copy !req
510. Like sleeping?
Copy !req
511. They are not pyjamas!
Copy !req
512. Here you go, 52 big ones.
Copy !req
513. Bye!
Copy !req
514. Come on!
Copy !req
515. What the...
Copy !req
516. Quiet down, fish!
Copy !req
517. Down, boy!
Copy !req
518. We did it! Come on,
girls, let's go!
Copy !req
519. But what about the other
people who ordered cookies?
Copy !req
520. Life is full of disappointments
Copy !req
521. for some people.
Copy !req
522. Don't do that!
Copy !req
523. Super Silly Fun Land!
Can we go? Please?
Copy !req
524. No.
Copy !req
525. But we've never been. And it's
the funnest place on earth!
Copy !req
526. Don't care.
Copy !req
527. - Please?
- Please?
Copy !req
528. We'll never ask for
anything else, ever again!
Copy !req
529. - Pretty please?
- Please?
Copy !req
530. - Come on!
- Come on!
Copy !req
531. Light bulb.
Copy !req
532. Come on!
Copy !req
533. Goodbye, have fun.
Copy !req
534. Sorry, dude. They can't
ride without an adult.
Copy !req
535. What?
Copy !req
536. Oh, my gosh!
Copy !req
537. Look at that fluffy unicorn!
Copy !req
538. He's so fluffy, I'm gonna die!
Copy !req
539. You've gotta let us play for it!
Copy !req
540. No, no, no.
Copy !req
541. Come on!
Copy !req
542. How much for the fluffy unicorn?
Copy !req
543. Well, it is not for sale.
Copy !req
544. But all you gotta do to win it is knock
down that little spaceship there.
Copy !req
545. It's easy!
Copy !req
546. Yay!
Copy !req
547. Again!
Copy !req
548. - Wait!
- Come on. One more time!
Copy !req
549. Just one more.
Copy !req
550. I accidentally closed my eyes.
Copy !req
551. - I hit it! I hit it!
- That was cool.
Copy !req
552. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What was that?
Copy !req
553. She hit that. I saw
that with my own eyes.
Copy !req
554. Hey, buddy, let me explain
something to you.
Copy !req
555. You see that little tin spaceship?
You see how it's not knocked over?
Copy !req
556. Do you know what that
means, professor?
Copy !req
557. It means you don't
get the unicorn!
Copy !req
558. Somebody's got a frowny face.
Copy !req
559. Boo! Better luck next time!
Copy !req
560. Okay, my turn.
Copy !req
561. Knocked over!
Copy !req
562. - It's so fluffy!
- Yeah!
Copy !req
563. That was awesome!
Copy !req
564. You blew up the whole thing!
Copy !req
565. Let's go. Let's
try another game!
Copy !req
566. Gru, do you mind if I
have a quick word?
Copy !req
567. Okay, girls, go play.
Copy !req
568. I got the shrink ray!
Copy !req
569. Cotton candy!
Copy !req
570. We have 12 days until the
moon is in optimum position.
Copy !req
571. We can't afford
any distractions!
Copy !req
572. Get me Perkins.
Copy !req
573. Sorry to bother you, Mr Perkins,
Copy !req
574. but I figured that you
would want to see this!
Copy !req
575. What?
Copy !req
576. Well done, Gru.
Rather impressive.
Copy !req
577. Now, the rest of the
plan is simple.
Copy !req
578. I fly to the moon.
I shrink the moon.
Copy !req
579. I grab the moon. I
sit on the toilet.
Copy !req
580. What?
Copy !req
581. Sorry. Sorry!
Copy !req
582. Could you excuse me
for just one second?
Copy !req
583. I told you not to
touch my things.
Copy !req
584. I told you, I told you. I've
told you a thousand times.
Copy !req
585. Hey, can we order pizza?
Copy !req
586. Pizza? You just had lunch.
Copy !req
587. Not now, for dinner.
Copy !req
588. Dinner?
Copy !req
589. Just... Fine, fine, fine,
whatever. Just get back in there!
Copy !req
590. Can we get stuffed crust?
Copy !req
591. - Stuffed crust!
- Stuffed crust!
Copy !req
592. I'll stuff you all in the crust!
Copy !req
593. You're funny!
Copy !req
594. Just don't come out
of that room again!
Copy !req
595. All right.
Copy !req
596. Sorry about that. Where were we?
Copy !req
597. You were sitting on the toilet.
Copy !req
598. No, no, no! No, I'm sorry. It
was a little attempt at humour.
Copy !req
599. I know how much
you like to laugh
Copy !req
600. inside. Now, I was saying...
Copy !req
601. You don't seem
terribly focused, Gru.
Copy !req
602. Believe me, I am
completely focused.
Copy !req
603. - Hello!
- What?
Copy !req
604. That guy is huge!
Copy !req
605. - Are we on TV?
- What are those? Children?
Copy !req
606. What are you doing? I told
you to stay out of here!
Copy !req
607. No, no, no!
Copy !req
608. Freeze ray!
Copy !req
609. Mr Gru?
Copy !req
610. Okay.
Copy !req
611. As I was saying...
Copy !req
612. No need to continue.
I've seen quite enough.
Copy !req
613. - But my plan...
- Is a great plan.
Copy !req
614. I love everything about your
plan, except for one thing.
Copy !req
615. You.
Copy !req
616. Look, Mom, I drew a picture
of me landing on the moon!
Copy !req
617. Look, Mom, I made a prototype
of the rocket out of macaroni!
Copy !req
618. Look, Mom, I made a real rocket
based on the macaroni prototype!
Copy !req
619. I don't understand.
Copy !req
620. Let's face reality, Gru.
Copy !req
621. You've been at this for far too
long with Far too little success.
Copy !req
622. We're gonna put our faith,
our money, into a...
Copy !req
623. Well, a younger villain.
Copy !req
624. But I...
Copy !req
625. It's over. Goodbye, Gru.
Copy !req
626. Now, I know there have been
some rumours going around
Copy !req
627. that the bank is no
longer funding us.
Copy !req
628. Well, I am here to put
those rumours to rest.
Copy !req
629. They are true.
Copy !req
630. In terms of money,
Copy !req
631. we have no money.
Copy !req
632. So how will we get to the moon?
Copy !req
633. The answer is clear.
Copy !req
634. We won't.
Copy !req
635. We are doomed.
Copy !req
636. Now would probably be a good time to
look for other employment options.
Copy !req
637. I know.
Copy !req
638. I have fired up my resume as I
suggest that all of you do, as well.
Copy !req
639. What is it?
Copy !req
640. Can't you see that I am in
the middle of a pep talk?
Copy !req
641. Yes!
Copy !req
642. Yes, we will build
our own rocket
Copy !req
643. using this and whatever
else we can find!
Copy !req
644. Grab everything! Hit the
junkyards! Take apart the cars!
Copy !req
645. Who needs the bank?
Copy !req
646. Let's go. Let's go!
Copy !req
647. Mom! What are you doing here?
Copy !req
648. And here he is in the bathtub.
Copy !req
649. Look at his little buns.
Copy !req
650. Mom.
Copy !req
651. Not cool.
Copy !req
652. And here, he's all dressed
up in his Sunday best.
Copy !req
653. He looks like a girl!
Copy !req
654. Yes, he does. An ugly girl!
Copy !req
655. You're funny!
Copy !req
656. Yes! Mine's shaped
like a dead guy!
Copy !req
657. Mr Perkins, your son is here.
Copy !req
658. Send him in.
Copy !req
659. Hey, Dad.
Copy !req
660. You wanted to see me?
Copy !req
661. - Yes, I did, Victor.
- I am not Victor any more.
Copy !req
662. Victor was my nerd name.
Now I am Vector!
Copy !req
663. Sit down!
Copy !req
664. Do you know where
the shrink ray is?
Copy !req
665. Duh! Back at my place.
Copy !req
666. Oh, is that right? Back at
your place? That's cool.
Copy !req
667. I guess Gru must just have one
that looks exactly like it!
Copy !req
668. What the... Those girls
sold me cookies!
Copy !req
669. Do you have any idea how lucrative
this moon heist could be?
Copy !req
670. I give you the opportunity
of a lifetime,
Copy !req
671. and you just blow it!
Copy !req
672. - No, I didn't.
- Oh, really?
Copy !req
673. You just wait until Gru
sees my latest weapon.
Copy !req
674. Squid-launcher! Oh, yeah!
Copy !req
675. There's a squid on my face!
Copy !req
676. Don't worry.
Copy !req
677. The moon is as good as ours.
Copy !req
678. Come on now, it's bedtime.
Copy !req
679. Did you brush your teeth?
Let me smell. Let me smell.
Copy !req
680. You did not!
Copy !req
681. Put on your PGs. Hold still.
Okay, seriously! Seriously!
Copy !req
682. This is beddie-bye time, right now.
I'm not kidding around. I mean it!
Copy !req
683. - But we're not tired!
- Well, I am tired.
Copy !req
684. Will you read us
a bedtime story?
Copy !req
685. No.
Copy !req
686. Pretty please!
Copy !req
687. The physical appearance of the
"please" makes no difference.
Copy !req
688. It is still no, so go to sleep.
Copy !req
689. But we can't. We're all hyper!
Copy !req
690. And without a bedtime story, we'll
just keep getting up and bugging you.
Copy !req
691. All night long.
Copy !req
692. Fine.
Copy !req
693. All right, all right.
Sleepy Kittens.
Copy !req
694. Sleepy Kittens?
Copy !req
695. - What are these?
- Puppets.
Copy !req
696. You use them when
you tell the story.
Copy !req
697. Okay, let's get this over with.
Copy !req
698. "Three little kittens loved to play,
they had fun in the sun all day.
Copy !req
699. "Then their mother came out and said,
'Time for kittens to go to bed."'
Copy !req
700. Wow! This is garbage.
You actually like this?
Copy !req
701. Keep reading!
Copy !req
702. - Come on!
- All right, all right, all right.
Copy !req
703. "Three little kittens
started to bawl,
Copy !req
704. "Their mother smiled
and said with a purr,
Copy !req
705. "'Fine, but at least you
should brush your fur."'
Copy !req
706. Now you brush the fur.
Copy !req
707. This is literature?
Copy !req
708. A 2-year-old could have
written this. All right.
Copy !req
709. "Three little kittens
with fur all brushed
Copy !req
710. "said, 'We can't sleep,
we feel too rushed! '
Copy !req
711. "Their mother replied,
with a voice like silk,
Copy !req
712. "'Fine, but at least you
should drink your milk."'
Copy !req
713. Now make them drink the milk.
Copy !req
714. I don't like this book.
This is going on forever.
Copy !req
715. "Three little kittens, with milk all gone,
rubbed their eyes and started to yawn."
Copy !req
716. "'We can't sleep, we can't even try'
Then their mother sang a lullaby.
Copy !req
717. "'Good night kittens, close your
eyes. Sleep in peace until you rise.
Copy !req
718. "'Though while you
sleep, we are apart,
Copy !req
719. "'your mommy loves you
with all her heart."'
Copy !req
720. The end. Okay, good night.
Copy !req
721. - Wait!
- What?
Copy !req
722. What about good night kisses?
Copy !req
723. No, no. There will be no
kissing or hugging or kissing.
Copy !req
724. He is not gonna kiss
us good night, Agnes.
Copy !req
725. I like him. He's nice.
Copy !req
726. But scary.
Copy !req
727. Like Santa!
Copy !req
728. Only 48 hours till the launch,
and all systems are go.
Copy !req
729. About that,
Copy !req
730. I was thinking that maybe we could
move the date of the heist.
Copy !req
731. Please tell me this is not as a result
of the girls' dance recital, is it?
Copy !req
732. No, no, no!
Copy !req
733. The recital? Don't...
That's stupid!
Copy !req
734. I just think it's kind of
weird to do it on a Saturday.
Copy !req
735. I was thinking, maybe a heist
is a Tuesday thing, right?
Copy !req
736. Gru, you and I have been
working on this for years.
Copy !req
737. It's everything
we've dreamed of.
Copy !req
738. Your chance to make history,
Copy !req
739. become the man who
stole the moon!
Copy !req
740. But these girls are becoming
a major distraction!
Copy !req
741. They need to go.
Copy !req
742. If you don't do something
about it, then I will.
Copy !req
743. I understand.
Copy !req
744. Good.
Copy !req
745. Butt.
Copy !req
746. Butt.
Copy !req
747. Butt.
Copy !req
748. All right. Now, when we
put our cups together,
Copy !req
749. we will make the "clink"
sound with our mouths.
Copy !req
750. Ready? Edith?
Copy !req
751. - Clink.
- Clink.
Copy !req
752. There we go. And now we drink.
Copy !req
753. And Agnes?
Copy !req
754. - Clink.
- Clink.
Copy !req
755. Very good!
Copy !req
756. Excuse me, girls.
Copy !req
757. Come on!
Copy !req
758. Don't worry, I'll be back.
Keep clinking.
Copy !req
759. - Clink, clink.
- Clink, clink.
Copy !req
760. Miss Hattie, what
are you doing here?
Copy !req
761. I'm here for the girls. I received a
call that you wanted to return them.
Copy !req
762. And also, I did purchase
a Spanish dictionary.
Copy !req
763. I didn't like what you said.
Copy !req
764. But...
Copy !req
765. I will get the girls ready.
Copy !req
766. Don't let her take us, Mr Gru!
Copy !req
767. Tell her you wanna keep us.
Copy !req
768. All right, girls.
Come on, let's go.
Copy !req
769. Goodbye, Mr Gru.
Thanks for everything.
Copy !req
770. I did it for your own good.
Copy !req
771. Come on, let's go get that moon.
Copy !req
772. Right.
Copy !req
773. What is this for?
Copy !req
774. The recital?
Copy !req
775. I am the greatest criminal
mind of the century.
Copy !req
776. I don't go to little
girls' dance recitals!
Copy !req
777. Opening launch bay doors.
Commencing launch sequence.
Copy !req
778. And we are good to go
in T minus 10 seconds.
Copy !req
779. Ten, nine, eight, seven,
Copy !req
780. six...
Copy !req
781. Oh, yeah!
Copy !req
782. Nice work, Doctor.
All systems go.
Copy !req
783. Boo-ya!
Copy !req
784. My flight suit.
Copy !req
785. Oh, yeah! Once
again, the mighty...
Copy !req
786. I've got it!
Copy !req
787. I've got the moon!
Copy !req
788. I've got the moon!
Copy !req
789. I can make it!
Copy !req
790. - Wait a minute!
- Kevin!
Copy !req
791. Come on, come on!
Copy !req
792. He's still not here.
Copy !req
793. Why would he come?
He gave us up.
Copy !req
794. But he pinkie promised!
Copy !req
795. Girls, girls, places!
Copy !req
796. No, we can't start yet! We're
still expecting someone.
Copy !req
797. Can we just wait a
few more minutes?
Copy !req
798. All right. But just
a few more minutes.
Copy !req
799. He's not coming, guys.
Copy !req
800. Gru! Gru, can you hear me?
Copy !req
801. Quick, we have to
warn him, and fast!
Copy !req
802. Okay, okay. There's the library.
Copy !req
803. That's Third Street.
The dance studio...
Copy !req
804. There! There! There it is!
Copy !req
805. Sorry, buddy. Show's over.
Copy !req
806. Over?
Copy !req
807. Vector, open up!
Copy !req
808. First give me the moon.
Then we'll talk.
Copy !req
809. - Mr Gru!
- Lip it, Happy Meal.
Copy !req
810. Now, the girls.
Copy !req
811. Actually, I think I'll hold on
to them a little while longer.
Copy !req
812. No!
Copy !req
813. Oh, yeah! Unpredictable!
Copy !req
814. Listen close, you little punk.
Copy !req
815. When I get in there, you are
in for a world of pain!
Copy !req
816. I'm really scared!
Copy !req
817. He is gonna kick your butt.
Copy !req
818. What? He punched my shark!
Copy !req
819. There he is!
Copy !req
820. Hang on, Gru.
Copy !req
821. Oh, no!
Copy !req
822. Vector has the girls. Go!
Copy !req
823. What happened to the ship?
It's big again!
Copy !req
824. - Not as big as the moon is going to be!
- What?
Copy !req
825. The larger the mass of
an obiect, the quicker
Copy !req
826. the effects of the
shrink ray wear off!
Copy !req
827. I call it the Nefario Principle.
Copy !req
828. I just came up with
it now, actually.
Copy !req
829. Oh, no!
Copy !req
830. Did you see that?
Copy !req
831. - Vector! Help!
- Vector!
Copy !req
832. - Over here!
- Hey!
Copy !req
833. What are you girls
doing back there?
Copy !req
834. The moon!
Copy !req
835. Watch out!
Copy !req
836. Get as close in as you can.
Copy !req
837. You got it.
Copy !req
838. - Mr Gru, up here!
- Mr Gru!
Copy !req
839. Okay, girls! Girls!
Copy !req
840. - You're going to have to iump.
- Jump?
Copy !req
841. Are you insane?
Copy !req
842. Don't worry, I will catch you.
Copy !req
843. You gave us back!
Copy !req
844. I know, I know. And it is the
worst mistake I ever made.
Copy !req
845. But you have to jump now.
Copy !req
846. It'll be okay.
Copy !req
847. Okay, girls.
Copy !req
848. Jump now!
Copy !req
849. Margo, I will catch you.
Copy !req
850. And I will never
let you go again.
Copy !req
851. - Not so fast!
- No!
Copy !req
852. Let me go!
Copy !req
853. Margo!
Copy !req
854. I'm coming, Margo. Hang on!
Copy !req
855. I got you.
Copy !req
856. No!
Copy !req
857. Oh, poop.
Copy !req
858. This time, good triumphs,
Copy !req
859. and the moon has been returned to
it's rightful place in the sky.
Copy !req
860. But once again, law enforcement is
baffled, leaving everyone to wonder,
Copy !req
861. who is this mysterious hero?
Copy !req
862. And what will he do next?
Copy !req
863. Okay, girls. Time for bed.
Copy !req
864. - Come on! We want a story.
- Three sleepy kittens!
Copy !req
865. Oh, no! Sorry. That book was
accidentally destroyed maliciously.
Copy !req
866. Tonight we are going
to read a new book.
Copy !req
867. This one is called.
Copy !req
868. One Big Unicorn by...
Who wrote this?
Copy !req
869. Me! I wrote it. Look,
it's a puppet book!
Copy !req
870. Here, watch this.
Copy !req
871. That's the horn!
Copy !req
872. This is gonna be the
best book ever!
Copy !req
873. Not to pat myself on the back,
but, yes, it probably will be.
Copy !req
874. Here we go.
Copy !req
875. "One big unicorn,
strong and free"
Copy !req
876. "thought he was happy
as he could be."
Copy !req
877. "Then three little
kittens came around"
Copy !req
878. "and turned his whole
life upside down."
Copy !req
879. Hey, that one looks like me!
Copy !req
880. No, what are you talking about?
These are kittens!
Copy !req
881. Any relation to persons living or
dead is completely coincidental.
Copy !req
882. "They made him laugh."
Copy !req
883. "They made him cry."
Copy !req
884. "He never should
have said goodbye."
Copy !req
885. "And now he knows he
could never part"
Copy !req
886. "from those three
little kittens"
Copy !req
887. "that changed his heart."
Copy !req
888. "The end."
Copy !req
889. Okay, all right. Good night.
Copy !req
890. I love you.
Copy !req
891. I love you, too.
Copy !req
892. No, no!
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893. All right.
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894. Didn't I get you already?
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895. They're very good!
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896. I'm so proud of you, Son.
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897. You've turned out to
be a great parent!
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898. Just like me.
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899. Maybe even better.
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900. No, I'm fine. Go ahead.
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901. No, no, no!
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902. Hey, Carl! Hey.
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903. No, no, no.
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904. Me, me, me.
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905. John?
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906. No, no. Me, me, me.
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907. Oh, poop.
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908. Oh, no!
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909. Stop! Stop!
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910. Hello, I am Gru.
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911. Back to work, back to work!
Back to...
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