1. Let's go! Come on!Copy !req
2. Come on. Yeah!Copy !req
3. - Let's go!
- Let's go! Let's go!Copy !req
4. Come on!Copy !req
5. You must realize, Bosley, your wife
is one of the most neurotic womenCopy !req
6. I've ever examined.Copy !req
7. I still think a few more months
in the sanitarium would be helpful.Copy !req
8. It may be too early to trust her
in her natural environment.Copy !req
9. Oh, doc, be optimistic.Copy !req
10. Peggy's breakdown is part of the past now.Copy !req
11. I don't want her
in another mental hospital.Copy !req
12. I want her home with me and the kids.Copy !req
13. Dr. Evans, the road to mental health
is just around the corner.Copy !req
14. - Come on!
- Come on! Yeah!Copy !req
15. I knew they'd try it!Copy !req
16. Trying to kill me in my own home!Copy !req
17. It's like war.Copy !req
18. Don't tell me I don't know
what Vietnam is like.Copy !req
19. Brats! Brats! Brats!Copy !req
20. Oh, mom.Copy !req
21. Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Gravel.Copy !req
22. I'll pay for the window
out of my allowance.Copy !req
23. How about my life?Copy !req
24. Do you get enough allowance
to pay for that?Copy !req
25. I know you were trying to kill me!Copy !req
26. What's the matter with the courts?Copy !req
27. Do they allow this lawlessness
and malicious destructionCopy !req
28. of property to run rampant?Copy !req
29. I hate the Supreme Court!Copy !req
30. Oh, God. God...Copy !req
31. Go home to your mother!Copy !req
32. Doesn't she ever watch you?Copy !req
33. Tell her this isn't some
communist day care center!Copy !req
34. Tell your mother I hate her!Copy !req
35. Tell your mother I hate you!Copy !req
36. Oh, oh, God! Oh. Oh. Oh.Copy !req
37. Hello? What number are you calling?Copy !req
38. You've dialed the wrong number!Copy !req
39. Sorry? What good is that?Copy !req
40. How can you ever repay the 30 seconds
you have stolen from my life?Copy !req
41. I hate you, your husband, your childrenCopy !req
42. and your relatives!Copy !req
43. Oh, God! God! God!Copy !req
44. What have I done to deserve this?Copy !req
45. Miss Gravel, what's the matter?
Are you having another fit?Copy !req
46. Can't my husband watch the children?Copy !req
47. Can't that lazy moron do one thing?Copy !req
48. The kids are just outside. They're okay.Copy !req
49. Let me get you some of your fit medicine.Copy !req
50. Grizelda, my life is in danger.Copy !req
51. Please don't let anybody hurt me.Copy !req
52. Aw, there, there.
You've gotta keep calm, woman.Copy !req
53. - You're just imagining things.
- That's what you think.Copy !req
54. One of the neighborhood children
just tried to murder me.Copy !req
55. I was sitting in my room,
applying nail polishCopy !req
56. and one of them fired a rifle at me.Copy !req
57. - Oh, Miss Gravel.
- It's true.Copy !req
58. I must get the children
before they're kidnapped.Copy !req
59. Good God Almighty.Copy !req
60. Beth? Bosley Jr.?Copy !req
61. Breathe in. Do it again.Copy !req
62. Now let me do it.Copy !req
63. Breathe in. Again.Copy !req
64. Sodomites!Copy !req
65. Caught right in a sex orgy!Copy !req
66. Filthy!Copy !req
67. Dirty, filthy!Copy !req
68. Is that what you learned
in private school?Copy !req
69. Mom, we were only playing!
We're only play...Copy !req
70. Oh, nude! Nude! Nude!Copy !req
71. You could be pregnant, Beth!Copy !req
72. And as for you,Copy !req
73. I never thought
you would rape your own sister!Copy !req
74. Oh, God!
The children are having sex!Copy !req
75. Peggy? Peggy?Copy !req
76. Thirsty, Grizelda?Copy !req
77. You'd better go see about your wife.Copy !req
78. She's having another mental fit.Copy !req
79. I thought you'd been stealing my liquor.Copy !req
80. Ain't nobody stealing
nothing from you, Mr. Gravel.Copy !req
81. We'll see about that.Copy !req
82. You didn't know I marked these, did you?Copy !req
83. Here. Look here. See this pencil line?Copy !req
84. That was marked just yesterday.Copy !req
85. You've had quite a few cocktails,
haven't you, Grizelda?Copy !req
86. What else have you pilfered?Copy !req
87. - I'll have a look in that purse.
- You ain't looking in my purse.Copy !req
88. Why not? Got something to hide?Copy !req
89. Don't you know men aren't supposed to look
in a lady's handbag?Copy !req
90. Lady? You're fired, Grizelda.Copy !req
91. No wonder you people are always
in the unemployment line.Copy !req
92. Now give me that bag!Copy !req
93. I don't want no white man
looking at my Tampax!Copy !req
94. I wouldn't worry about
your Tampax if I were you.Copy !req
95. Well, look at this.Copy !req
96. My savings account book
with withdrawal slips.Copy !req
97. My lottery ticket.Copy !req
98. And two rolls of toilet paper.Copy !req
99. I'm placing you under citizen's arrest.Copy !req
100. I'm gonna call the police and report you.Copy !req
101. Get off of me, milkhead!Copy !req
102. Well, I see you're finally here.Copy !req
103. It's a little late, isn't it?Copy !req
104. The children are having sex.Copy !req
105. Beth is pregnant.Copy !req
106. I narrowly missed an assassination attempt
a few moments ago.Copy !req
107. Will you please do something?Copy !req
108. Oh, honey, it's just
your mind playing tricks.Copy !req
109. Oh, get off me.Copy !req
110. My skin crawls when you touch it.Copy !req
111. I could rip your lips off!Copy !req
112. Oh, that miserable man.Copy !req
113. When I think of the abuseCopy !req
114. - that I have taken...
- Peggy. Peggy.Copy !req
115. Am I living in hell?Copy !req
116. Is that it? Have I gone straight to hell?Copy !req
117. Don't leave this kitchen, Grizelda.Copy !req
118. I'm going to give Peggy her medicationCopy !req
119. and then I'll be back to deal with you.Copy !req
120. Peg?Copy !req
121. Get out!Copy !req
122. Let's have a little medication, all right?Copy !req
123. You're just upset. Now, what's the matter?Copy !req
124. Everything was going so well.Copy !req
125. Get out of here,
you stinking piece of flesh!Copy !req
126. Don't say those things, Peggy.Copy !req
127. Come on. This will make you feel better.Copy !req
128. - Give me your arm.
- Oh, you touched me!Copy !req
129. Now my flesh is rotting.Copy !req
130. The touch of scum!Copy !req
131. Stop it, Peggy.Copy !req
132. Don't make me use force.Copy !req
133. Let me give you your shot,
or I'll call the hospital.Copy !req
134. - Stay away!
- Oh, God!Copy !req
135. Peggy, I'm going to have
to commit you again!Copy !req
136. Just try it!Copy !req
137. Ah!Copy !req
138. Oh, oh...Copy !req
139. Help!Copy !req
140. Grizelda, he's trying to kill me!Copy !req
141. Help!Copy !req
142. Someone please help me.
Help me! Please help me!Copy !req
143. - Back off, asshole!
- Oh!Copy !req
144. Oh! Oh!Copy !req
145. Are you all right, Mrs. Gravel?Copy !req
146. Did he hurt you?Copy !req
147. No, but he tried.Copy !req
148. Look! Look, he's attacking!Copy !req
149. Down, boy! Down! Down! Down!Copy !req
150. Down, down, down, down, down, down!Copy !req
151. Down, down.Copy !req
152. Oh. Oh, God! Oh. Oh!Copy !req
153. He's— He's dead, isn't he?Copy !req
154. - Oh!
- Damn. Oh!Copy !req
155. We're in big trouble now, Mrs. Gravel!Copy !req
156. Oh, my God!Copy !req
157. He's dead! Oh, God!Copy !req
158. Oh! Oh, God!Copy !req
159. Hurry!Copy !req
160. Why did you tell me
to come this way, Grizelda?Copy !req
161. You know I hate nature.Copy !req
162. Look at those disgusting trees,
stealing my oxygen.Copy !req
163. Oh, I can't stand
this scenery another minute.Copy !req
164. All natural forests should be turned into
housing developments.Copy !req
165. I want cement covering every
blade of grass in this nation.Copy !req
166. Don't we taxpayers have a voice anymore?Copy !req
167. Do you ever shut up?Copy !req
168. The police are out
looking for us, you know.Copy !req
169. We're gonna camp out here overnight.Copy !req
170. Camp out? Oh, not me.Copy !req
171. Now, you listen to me, Ms. Peggy Gravel.Copy !req
172. You better calm yourself down
before I haul off and smack youCopy !req
173. upside your wide, wide head.Copy !req
174. We killed your husband
and I ain't your maid anymore, bitch.Copy !req
175. I'm your sister in crime.Copy !req
176. - Please, don't sit on me.
- Oh!Copy !req
177. Uh-oh, here come the honkers already.Copy !req
178. Okay, witches.
Up against the car. Arms up on the car.Copy !req
179. One false move and your head
will be flying through them trees.Copy !req
180. What is this? Are you kidding me?Copy !req
181. Does it looking like I'm kidding, Mau Mau?Copy !req
182. Officer, I am an outpatient
from the hospitalCopy !req
183. and I'm very prone to anxiety attacks.Copy !req
184. So please treat me
with therapeutic courtesy.Copy !req
185. Ha! I know who you are.Copy !req
186. There's an all-points bulletin
out for both of you.Copy !req
187. You're Peggy Gravel
and you killed your husband.Copy !req
188. Why, that's preposterous!Copy !req
189. We were about to have a picnic.Copy !req
190. Don't give me that shit.
You're trying to escape to Mortville.Copy !req
191. I've never heard of no town
called Mortville.Copy !req
192. Well, you should have. You belong there.Copy !req
193. It's a special town
for people like you two.Copy !req
194. People who should be so embarrassed
by what they've done.Copy !req
195. I just might let you go there.Copy !req
196. That is if you cooperate.Copy !req
197. What do we have to do for you,
Sheriff Shit Face?Copy !req
198. Sit on that car hood, you'll see.Copy !req
199. I've got something to show you first.Copy !req
200. You like lingerie?Copy !req
201. How do you like these little numbers?Copy !req
202. I sent away to 'em from Frederick's.Copy !req
203. They was expensive.Copy !req
204. I love the feel of cold nylon
on my big butt.Copy !req
205. Will you please stop it?Copy !req
206. I have never found the antics of deviantsCopy !req
207. to be one bit amusing.Copy !req
208. What I like best is a French kissCopy !req
209. when I'm all dressed.Copy !req
210. Don't expect no kiss from me, Liverlips.Copy !req
211. Come, on. Take off your underpants.
Hand 'em over.Copy !req
212. I knew cops was sick, but...Copy !req
213. Ah! These are big ones.Copy !req
214. A little plain for my taste.Copy !req
215. Now, I think I'll slip 'em on.Copy !req
216. How does that look? Pretty sexy, huh?Copy !req
217. Now, how about that kiss?Copy !req
218. If I kiss you, will you let us go?Copy !req
219. You bet. I want a real wet one now.Copy !req
220. Goddamn gum.Copy !req
221. Now, that was a real soul kiss.Copy !req
222. Okay, buster, you've had your fun.Copy !req
223. Now, which way to Mortville?Copy !req
224. I ain't through yet.Copy !req
225. Mrs. Gravel,
I'd like to examine your underpants.Copy !req
226. I will not!Copy !req
227. I thought you wanted to go to Mortville.Copy !req
228. They let killers live there scot-free.Copy !req
229. I have never been
so mortified in my entire life.Copy !req
230. Here, Blossom.Copy !req
231. Mm, that's more like it.
Ah, these are from Bloomingdales.Copy !req
232. You've got good taste.Copy !req
233. I think I'll try to fit
my big business into them.Copy !req
234. Ooh, ooh! They're tight,
but they sure feel good.Copy !req
235. Now, do I get my little kiss-kiss?Copy !req
236. No! Please, not a kiss. I swear I'll gag.Copy !req
237. Mount me if you must, but not a kiss!Copy !req
238. Come on, now, I'm all dressed up
in my pretty underthingsCopy !req
239. and I need a little lip suction.Copy !req
240. And now for that mouth.Copy !req
241. No.Copy !req
242. I'd like to stick
my whole head in your mouthCopy !req
243. and let you suck out my eyeballs.Copy !req
244. I bet you'd like that, wouldn't you?Copy !req
245. What are you hogs looking at?
The show's over! Beat it!Copy !req
246. Mortville is up that way!Copy !req
247. Follow that dirt road.Copy !req
248. Go ahead before I haul your ass to jail!Copy !req
249. I'll take a slice, please.Copy !req
250. You want lemon meringue or chocolate?Copy !req
251. - Chocolate, honey.
- Okay.Copy !req
252. Oh, shut up, asshole.Copy !req
253. That'll be ten cents.Copy !req
254. Could you recommend a rooming house
where we could spend the night?Copy !req
255. I don't think I like it here.Copy !req
256. It's filthy and the people are repulsive.Copy !req
257. We have no choice, Peggy,
and it's better than jail.Copy !req
258. I'll tell you, Grizelda,
there is something wrong here.Copy !req
259. Look around you.Copy !req
260. It's a village of idiots.Copy !req
261. Somebody help me.Copy !req
262. Can't you act normal?Copy !req
263. Just act normal for a change.Copy !req
264. Please. There must be
a Quality Court or something.Copy !req
265. I can't go in that hog pen.Copy !req
266. Oh, shut up.Copy !req
267. Oh!Copy !req
268. - Can I help you?
- We were raped.Copy !req
269. - Please, give us shelter.
- You were raped?Copy !req
270. Look, don't pay no attention to her.Copy !req
271. - We need to rent a room.
- You got money on you?Copy !req
272. I am a very wealthy woman.Copy !req
273. Yeah, and I'm Cybill Shepherd.Copy !req
274. Come on in here.
We might work something out.Copy !req
275. That is, if you got money.Copy !req
276. My name's Mole, Mole McHenry.Copy !req
277. I'm Peggy Gravel. It's nice to meet you.Copy !req
278. I'm Grizelda, Grizelda Brown.Copy !req
279. I'm Peggy's psychiatric nurse.Copy !req
280. Room's out back.Copy !req
281. Nothing fancy,
but it's a roof over your head.Copy !req
282. Come on, I'll show you.Copy !req
283. Shh! My girlfriend's sleeping.Copy !req
284. Yeah, you're lucky it's empty.Copy !req
285. My last tenant shot himself
in here last night.Copy !req
286. That dumb fuck left a mess everywhere.Copy !req
287. Oh!Copy !req
288. Ah, damn! It stinks in here.Copy !req
289. What do you think? Do you want it or not?Copy !req
290. Will he be removed?Copy !req
291. Yeah, I'll get the stiff outta here,Copy !req
292. but don't think I got time
for all the chores in the world.Copy !req
293. No linens until I soak these
in cold water.Copy !req
294. And we ain't got no toilets in Mortville.Copy !req
295. How do we...Copy !req
296. I guess you'll just have
to use your imagination.Copy !req
297. I see. I see.Copy !req
298. How much cash you got? Give me that!Copy !req
299. Six bucks. Hey, you are a rich one.Copy !req
300. A lottery ticket.
Well, I'll take that and I'll win it.Copy !req
301. What's this? A bank book?Copy !req
302. A lot of good that'll do you here.Copy !req
303. There— There aren't any banks
in Mortville?Copy !req
304. There ain't nothin' here, lady.Copy !req
305. Nobody's got one red cent in Mortville,Copy !req
306. except for that queen.Copy !req
307. The queen? Can she help us?Copy !req
308. You got a lot to learn
about living in Mortville.Copy !req
309. I think we'd like to take the room.Copy !req
310. It's all yours, sweetheart.Copy !req
311. - You hungry?
- Yeah.Copy !req
312. I think I'm gonna eat myself some chow
and I got a little extra.Copy !req
313. Looks like you got a big appetite.Copy !req
314. I'd be happy to help with the preparation.Copy !req
315. Well, this one takes the cake.Copy !req
316. You both sure are ugly bitches.Copy !req
317. Go on, sit down.Copy !req
318. Hey, Muffy. We got company.Copy !req
319. We really hadn't planned on coming here.Copy !req
320. We're from the Guilford neighborhood
in Baltimore.Copy !req
321. I been to Baltimore a few times.Copy !req
322. Bumburg, I hate it.Copy !req
323. All them hillbilly fucks looking at you.Copy !req
324. Well, if you want to know the truth,Copy !req
325. we had no choice but to come to Mortville.Copy !req
326. We're in a lot of trouble.Copy !req
327. You see, I'm quite prominent
and we accidentallyCopy !req
328. killed my husband.Copy !req
329. I don't care what you did.Copy !req
330. Nobody's in Mortville for a vacation.Copy !req
331. We all did something,
or we wouldn't be here in the first place.Copy !req
332. Dinner's served.Copy !req
333. I'm really not that hungry.Copy !req
334. I invited you to dinner, and you accepted.Copy !req
335. Now, you'll eat this
if I have to jam it down your throat.Copy !req
336. Muffy, I called you to dinner.Copy !req
337. Do I have to come in there and smack you?Copy !req
338. You don't have to shout the house down.
I heard you alright already.Copy !req
339. This is my girlfriend Muffy St. Jacques.Copy !req
340. The most beautiful woman
in all of Mortville.Copy !req
341. Hi.Copy !req
342. This is Grizelda and...Copy !req
343. I forget your name.Copy !req
344. Peggy, Peggy Gravel. It's a pleasure.Copy !req
345. We rent the room out back,
so I guess we'll be neighbors.Copy !req
346. Oh, really?Copy !req
347. Well, I sleep in the room
right next to you. Naked.Copy !req
348. You're five minutes late
for dinner, Muffy.Copy !req
349. Don't you remember
our little talk about your laziness?Copy !req
350. I was having an erotic dream.Copy !req
351. I warned you about thinking about men
before your afternoon nap.Copy !req
352. Dirty thoughts about dirty men
bring on dirty dreams,Copy !req
353. and you're a dirty girl, Muffy.Copy !req
354. Mole, I can't help what I think about.Copy !req
355. After all, it's not my fault Mr. Sandman
is not a bulldozer like you.Copy !req
356. I'm warning you, Muffy.Copy !req
357. Mole, sometimes I need a man.Copy !req
358. I'm a man, Muffy.Copy !req
359. A man trapped in a woman's body.Copy !req
360. Yeah, Mole, but you don't have
the same big deal.Copy !req
361. Take it back!Copy !req
362. Ow! Take it out! It hurts!Copy !req
363. Take back what you said to me!Copy !req
364. Okay, Mole, you're the only one.
I love you. You're my man.Copy !req
365. I'm only queer for...Copy !req
366. That's better.Copy !req
367. You see, Muffy knows how I feel about men.Copy !req
368. I'm not one to be pushed over my limit.Copy !req
369. That hurt!Copy !req
370. Go! Come on, come on.Copy !req
371. There they are. Don't move, scags.Copy !req
372. You're both under arrest
by the order of Queen Carlotta.Copy !req
373. Anything you say could put you
in front of the firing squad.Copy !req
374. Take it easy! We ain't fighting you!Copy !req
375. Help us! Please, help us!Copy !req
376. Oh, don't worry.
Standard procedure in Mortville.Copy !req
377. Officer, would you like
a cup of gin or something?Copy !req
378. Stay back, peasant woman!Copy !req
379. Oh! Oh.Copy !req
380. Right up here. Right there.Copy !req
381. Hold it right there.Copy !req
382. Right there. Come on. Come on.Copy !req
383. Come on. Come on, you fatso.Copy !req
384. Get up in there.Copy !req
385. Oh, Peggy.Copy !req
386. Peggy. Peggy.Copy !req
387. Oh, Grizelda, I can't.Copy !req
388. Oh, Peggy. Peggy.Copy !req
389. - Let's go! Come on!
- Get out of there. Let's go.Copy !req
390. - Come on. Come on.
- Let's go.Copy !req
391. Come on, get up there. Let's go.Copy !req
392. Come on! Move it!Copy !req
393. Come on!Copy !req
394. Hey, boys, look what I brought!Copy !req
395. Move it!Copy !req
396. We brought you some fresh meat.Copy !req
397. Fresh meat.Copy !req
398. Get on your knees where you belong.Copy !req
399. We got something
good for you this time, girl.Copy !req
400. Don't be crying, crybaby.
Daddy's not going to leave you now.Copy !req
401. Asshole. Asshole.Copy !req
402. Her Majesty, the Honorable
Queen Carlotta of Mortville.Copy !req
403. Welcome to Mortville, ladies.Copy !req
404. I read in the big city papersCopy !req
405. that you are wanted for murder.Copy !req
406. The murder of a certain Mr. Bosley Gravel.Copy !req
407. - We only—
- You are interrupting my flow of power!Copy !req
408. Give these peasants
a little dinner, Lieutenant Wilson.Copy !req
409. I bet they're hungry
after a long day of breakin' laws.Copy !req
410. - Here. Nice live roaches.
- Oh, no. No.Copy !req
411. Come on, eat these fucking things!Copy !req
412. Come on, eat 'em! Eat 'em.Copy !req
413. Eat 'em, goddamn it! Eat 'em.Copy !req
414. Eat these things! Eat these roaches!Copy !req
415. Plenty left for you too, honey.
Come on, eat 'em! Eat 'em.Copy !req
416. Swallow those goddamn things. Eat 'em!Copy !req
417. Now listen to me, riffraff.Copy !req
418. Every word I ever utterCopy !req
419. is to be taken as a direct
royal proclamation or face deathCopy !req
420. by the firing squad.Copy !req
421. Yes, Ma'am.Copy !req
422. "Ma'am?" I'm your Royal HighnessCopy !req
423. and I demand that you address me as such!Copy !req
424. Yes, Your Royal Highness.Copy !req
425. Let's show them we're not kidding.Copy !req
426. Bring in the prisoner, Lieutenant Wilson.Copy !req
427. - Come on, you rotten son of a bitch.
- You bastard.Copy !req
428. Any last words, goon face?Copy !req
429. You can lick my royal hemorrhoids,
you fat pig.Copy !req
430. Oh, ready, aim, fire!Copy !req
431. I advise you to listen carefully, rubbish.Copy !req
432. Royal proclamation number one.Copy !req
433. As long as you live in Mortville,Copy !req
434. you must always consider me your God.Copy !req
435. And if you ever see me on the streetsCopy !req
436. fall to your knees and shout,
"I honor you, Queen Carlotta!"Copy !req
437. Royal proclamation number two.Copy !req
438. You must live here
in constant mortification,Copy !req
439. solely existing to bring me
and my touristsCopy !req
440. moments of royal amusement.Copy !req
441. I'm not responsible for your income,Copy !req
442. your living conditions,
or your personal happiness.Copy !req
443. Have I made myself perfectly clear?Copy !req
444. Yes, Your Royal Majesty.Copy !req
445. And you, Mrs. Gravel, murderess?Copy !req
446. You've made yourself quite clear.Copy !req
447. Your...Copy !req
448. Your Royal Majesty.Copy !req
449. So be it!Copy !req
450. Lieutenant Williams,
take them to our ugly expertCopy !req
451. and give them a complete overhaul.Copy !req
452. And when you walk down
the streets of Mortville,Copy !req
453. make sure you're dressed
like what you really are.Copy !req
454. Trash!Copy !req
455. Remove them!Copy !req
456. Come on! We're through!Copy !req
457. Up. Up on your feet! Come on! Out!Copy !req
458. - Come on.
- Let's go!Copy !req
459. Out, out, out.Copy !req
460. Are my duties of discipline
ever over, Lieutenant Wilson?Copy !req
461. Remove me from this contraption.Copy !req
462. I honor you, Queen Carlotta.Copy !req
463. Yes, I know, I know.
Get me into my royal cotCopy !req
464. and be quick.Copy !req
465. Come on, come on. I haven't got all day.Copy !req
466. Come on. Hurry, hurry.Copy !req
467. Come on. Yes. Come on...Copy !req
468. If it pleases the queen,
Royal Security has reportedCopy !req
469. that the Princess Coo-Coo
has returned to the castle.Copy !req
470. She's been out all night again
with that garbage man.Copy !req
471. That child of mine
will be the death of me yet.Copy !req
472. - Take me to her chambers. Be quick.
- I honor you, Your Majesty.Copy !req
473. Come on, let's go. Get out of the way!
Out of the way. Come on!Copy !req
474. Come on! Come on! Out of the way!Copy !req
475. Come on, get out of the way.
Come on, hurry up.Copy !req
476. - I honor you, Queen Carlotta.
- Come on, be quick. Come on.Copy !req
477. All right, all right, get out of the way.
Come on.Copy !req
478. Come on. Hurry.Copy !req
479. I'll call you when I need you,
Lieutenant Wilson.Copy !req
480. I honor you, Your Majesty.Copy !req
481. Coo-Coo, I must have
a little talk with you.Copy !req
482. Oh, leave me alone, Mummy.
I've had a wonderful evening,Copy !req
483. and I don't want it spoiled
with your nosy nagging.Copy !req
484. A wonderful evening with a garbage man?Copy !req
485. He's not a garbage man.
He just helps pick up trashCopy !req
486. at the nudist colony.Copy !req
487. I hardly think that a nudist janitorCopy !req
488. is the proper escort for a royal princess.Copy !req
489. I'm 38 years old
and I can date who I please.Copy !req
490. You have no right to order me around
like one of your subjects.Copy !req
491. You may not realize it, Coo-Coo
but you have an awesome responsibilityCopy !req
492. on your shoulders.Copy !req
493. One day, all Mortville will be yours,Copy !req
494. and you must learn to rule with dignity.Copy !req
495. I don't want to be queen of anywhere.Copy !req
496. Mother, I want to marry Herbert!Copy !req
497. Herbert? Is that his name?Copy !req
498. It's a beautiful name.Copy !req
499. You would step down from your
throne for the love of a mutant?Copy !req
500. But, Mummy, I love him.Copy !req
501. Well, I won't have it!Copy !req
502. I'm afraid I'm going to
have to punish you, Coo-Coo.Copy !req
503. You're forbidden to leave your room
until your 40th birthday!Copy !req
504. I won't stay in this castle.Copy !req
505. I love Herbert. I'm gonna marry him,
and you won't stop me!Copy !req
506. Now you've given me another nosebleed!Copy !req
507. I hate this stupid town.
Get out of here. Leave me in peace.Copy !req
508. - Excuse me, Your Highness.
- Take me to my bedroomCopy !req
509. and lock Coo-Coo up for the night.Copy !req
510. No, no, no, no, no!Copy !req
511. Come on. Hurry up, hurry up.Copy !req
512. That daughter of mine is a delinquent.Copy !req
513. I'm gonna have to take
drastic steps with her.Copy !req
514. I honor you, Queen Carlotta.Copy !req
515. Can you make it, Your Highness?Copy !req
516. I suppose so.Copy !req
517. I believe it's your night
to service me, Lieutenant Wilson.Copy !req
518. I'm always eager, Your Highness.Copy !req
519. Oh, that love muscle.Copy !req
520. Whip it out and show it hard.Copy !req
521. Oh, come on, daddy.Copy !req
522. Fuck me, come on.Copy !req
523. Ooh! Glow, little inchworm.Copy !req
524. Oh, look at those balls!Copy !req
525. Oh, daddy, come on.Copy !req
526. Ooh! Look at that pout. Yeah!Copy !req
527. Ooh, come on.Copy !req
528. Oh, come on, Lieutenant.
I haven't got all night.Copy !req
529. Come on. Oh, come on.Copy !req
530. Don't bother with the head.Copy !req
531. The "V" of my crotch
is what needs the attention.Copy !req
532. But I can fuck like a bandit,
Your Highness.Copy !req
533. Well, rob my safety deposit box then.Copy !req
534. Dig for gold, dig for gold.Copy !req
535. Oh, Your Highness. I'm entering...Copy !req
536. Go, daddy, go all night. Get it.Copy !req
537. Get it, get it, get it!Copy !req
538. Pretty outfits.Copy !req
539. Funny, is it?Copy !req
540. Well, let me tell you, I wouldn't wear
this outfit to a dog fight.Copy !req
541. Maybe you two have resigned yourselvesCopy !req
542. to a subhuman life in this slum of a town,Copy !req
543. but I, Peggy Gravel, have not.Copy !req
544. You better hush up before Mole
loses her temper and smacks you.Copy !req
545. Just shut up, Peggy.Copy !req
546. No, I won't shut up.Copy !req
547. You shut up!Copy !req
548. I'll tell you, my blue blood
is about ready to boil.Copy !req
549. Hey! You listen to me, wacko.Copy !req
550. See this fist?Copy !req
551. I'm about ready to use that hatchet-face
of yours as a punching bag.Copy !req
552. Now sit down and shut up!Copy !req
553. Mole's right, Peggy.Copy !req
554. I am sick of listenin' to your bitchin'.Copy !req
555. The next time you feel a fit comin' on,
go outside and bitch.Copy !req
556. Bitch at the air. Bitch at the trees.Copy !req
557. But don't bitch at us.Copy !req
558. But bitching isn't relief
if there's no one to hear it.Copy !req
559. Well, we can't all
be your psychiatrist, honey.Copy !req
560. We've got problems of our own.Copy !req
561. Well, why are you in Mortville?Copy !req
562. Oh, it's a long ugly story.Copy !req
563. Go ahead, Muffy. Tell her.Copy !req
564. Maybe she'd stop
feeling sorry for herself.Copy !req
565. I wasn't always like this.Copy !req
566. Oh, I mean, of course,
I was always visually stunning.Copy !req
567. But I was married to a man,
and I had a baby named Freddy.Copy !req
568. It was about two years ago,Copy !req
569. and my husband and I were just
returning from a cocktail party.Copy !req
570. Let me drive.Copy !req
571. Get off, I can drive.
Always trying to boss me around.Copy !req
572. - You're drunk, as per usual.
- Ah!Copy !req
573. Every time we step out of the house,
you get dead drunk.Copy !req
574. When you're married to a nag,
a man's gotta drink.Copy !req
575. First I have to be mortified
in front of our friends.Copy !req
576. Now I have to be mortified
in front of the babysitter.Copy !req
577. I suppose I'll have to drive her home.Copy !req
578. I'll take her.Copy !req
579. Yeah, you'll take her
straight to the graveyard.Copy !req
580. - Ah! Get off, I'll take her.
- Let me drive.Copy !req
581. Check it out.Copy !req
582. This motherfucker
is having a little party.Copy !req
583. What are you doing here?Copy !req
584. What are you doing here?Copy !req
585. What is this?Copy !req
586. What's going on in here?
Who are you? Get out of my house.Copy !req
587. Where's my baby? Where's my...Copy !req
588. What's going on here?Copy !req
589. - My Freddy!
- Get out of my liquor, punks!Copy !req
590. Oh, Freddy.Copy !req
591. Oh, my God. He's gone.Copy !req
592. Oh, my God.Copy !req
593. What have you done with my baby?Copy !req
594. I don't know, I'm trippin'.Copy !req
595. - Trippin'? Where's Freddy?
- I think I put him in the kitchen.Copy !req
596. The kitchen? Oh, Freddy, Freddy.Copy !req
597. Oh, Freddy, Freddy.Copy !req
598. Little Freddy.Copy !req
599. - Oh. Oh, baby.
- Hey, got any downers?Copy !req
600. My baby.Copy !req
601. You little tramp.
My baby was in the refrigerator.Copy !req
602. So don't pay me. Don't pay me, then.Copy !req
603. Don't pay you? You little snip.Copy !req
604. Oh, that's all right.Copy !req
605. Ah!Copy !req
606. Come on, bitch. Eat some dog food.Copy !req
607. No.Copy !req
608. Eat it! Eat it.Copy !req
609. Eat it, you bitch.Copy !req
610. Put my baby in the refrigerator. Eat it.Copy !req
611. Murderer.Copy !req
612. Oh, good Christ.Copy !req
613. Are you crazy?Copy !req
614. Are you trying to kill her?Copy !req
615. Get your stinkin' liquor breath
out of my face, you drunken...Copy !req
616. Ah. Oh-ho-ho.Copy !req
617. You...Copy !req
618. You crazy woman, you crazy...Copy !req
619. Open this window.Copy !req
620. You crazy woman, you should be
in a mental hospital.Copy !req
621. You pissy-ass drunk!
Get away from me. Take your ass to AA.Copy !req
622. Get out of here, you slob.Copy !req
623. Get out of here, don't touch me.Copy !req
624. I'm sorry.Copy !req
625. I've never seen my baby again.Copy !req
626. The press still calls me
"The Dog Food Murderess."Copy !req
627. I can never go back.
I couldn't bear the shame.Copy !req
628. And you, Mole, what happened to you?Copy !req
629. Well, I've been in Mortville
for ten long years,Copy !req
630. and I'll tell ya, it isn't very pretty
what a town without pity can do.Copy !req
631. What brought me here
was a championship wrestlin' match.Copy !req
632. It was back in 1966.Copy !req
633. And I was fightin' under
the name of Rastlin' Rita.Copy !req
634. My challenger was Big Jimmy Dong,
the Human Blockhead.Copy !req
635. Welcome to Ringside Arena.Copy !req
636. Tonight's main eventCopy !req
637. featuring, Big Jimmy Dong,Copy !req
638. The Human Blockhead.Copy !req
639. And in the opposite corner,Copy !req
640. his opponent, Rastlin' Rita.Copy !req
641. Fuck you!Copy !req
642. That ended my professional
rastlin' career,Copy !req
643. and I've been here ever sinceCopy !req
644. sittin' in my own stink
and tryin' to figure a way out.Copy !req
645. But our luck's gonna be changin'.
Right, Muff?Copy !req
646. Right, Mole. We're gonna win that lottery.Copy !req
647. I believe that was our lottery ticket.Copy !req
648. It was yours,
but you rented a room, asswipe.Copy !req
649. That ticket's mine now.Copy !req
650. Well, you better give us our share.Copy !req
651. We need money. We're not trash like you.Copy !req
652. We're not used to this low-class life.Copy !req
653. I'll wipe the floor with you.Copy !req
654. Break it up. Break it up.Copy !req
655. Rip her head right off.Copy !req
656. Those lottery tickets
ain't no good no way.Copy !req
657. The odds are a million to one.Copy !req
658. Don't say that. You'll hex our good luck.Copy !req
659. I'm warnin' you both.
You better stay out of my way.Copy !req
660. 'Cause when old Mole gets meanCopy !req
661. there's no tellin' what she'll do.Copy !req
662. Peggy, I think it's time for bed now.Copy !req
663. We both need a good night's sleep.Copy !req
664. Oh, I'll sleep, all right.Copy !req
665. Maybe in my dreams, I can forget
about this rotten little townCopy !req
666. and its disgusting population.Copy !req
667. As far as I'm concerned,
you two belong in Mortville.Copy !req
668. Oh!Copy !req
669. Oh, those bosoms
drive me berserk, baby.Copy !req
670. Oh! Oh!Copy !req
671. That was an uh-uh!Copy !req
672. Peggy. Oh, Peggy.Copy !req
673. Go, Peggy, go!Copy !req
674. Get it, Peggy. Get it!Copy !req
675. Get it! Oh! Oh, Peggy.Copy !req
676. Grizelda, it's so unnatural.Copy !req
677. Oh, get it! Just get it, Peggy!Copy !req
678. But I don't know how.Copy !req
679. Oh! Just eat it, Peggy. Eat it, eat it!Copy !req
680. - If it's good enough for Gertrude Stein.
- Eat it! Eat it, Peggy!Copy !req
681. Ooh! Ah, ah.Copy !req
682. Wake up! Wake up!Copy !req
683. Come, let's go!Copy !req
684. Let's go! Let's go!Copy !req
685. - Come on, let's go!
- Get out of bed!Copy !req
686. Come on!Copy !req
687. What the fuck is that now?Copy !req
688. - Come on, wake up.
- Royal proclamation.Copy !req
689. All residents must read
the royal proclamation.Copy !req
690. Here, stupid.Copy !req
691. Huh? You won't believe this, Muffy.Copy !req
692. That cow has gone too far this time.Copy !req
693. Listen to this shit.Copy !req
694. "Royal proclamation.Copy !req
695. Queen Carlotta has proclaimed
today as Backwards Day.Copy !req
696. All residents must wear
their clothes backwardsCopy !req
697. and walk backwards at all times.Copy !req
698. Anyone who fails
to perform for the touristsCopy !req
699. will be immediately executed."Copy !req
700. Oh, God! You mean, we have to
walk around backwards all day?Copy !req
701. Looks that way, Muffy.Copy !req
702. Oh, and on empty stomach yet.Copy !req
703. Mole, I'm starving to death.Copy !req
704. Hmm, ditto, doll face.Copy !req
705. The cupboard's bare, Muffy.Copy !req
706. Oh, it ain't right to wake up
hearin' your own stomach growlin'.Copy !req
707. I guess we'll just have
to wait for the food dump.Copy !req
708. Everywhere I look's a big nothing.Copy !req
709. I'd eat anything.Copy !req
710. I know, Mole. I'm so hungry
I could eat cancer.Copy !req
711. Isn't this a godsend?Copy !req
712. Pussy brought daddy some breakfast.Copy !req
713. I hope those other two aren't expecting
a continental breakfast.Copy !req
714. 'Cause old Mole's gonna chomp this downCopy !req
715. in one big bite.Copy !req
716. Whoa. Ooh, look, marshmallow.Copy !req
717. Oh, that looks good.Copy !req
718. Mmm, and Cheez-Its
for my little tummy.Copy !req
719. Mmm.Copy !req
720. Mmm, this is so— It's so good. Mmm.Copy !req
721. Well, good morning, little birdy.Copy !req
722. You're a cute little fella.Copy !req
723. Want some pizza?Copy !req
724. I bet you're hungry.Copy !req
725. Yes, birdy, birdy, birdy.Copy !req
726. I bet you flew all the way to MortvilleCopy !req
727. just to see Backwards Day, didn't you?Copy !req
728. Well, you flew into the right windowCopy !req
729. 'cause I'm your Queen.Copy !req
730. Yeah.Copy !req
731. Excuse me, Your Highness,
but Princess Coo-Coo has just escapedCopy !req
732. from her royal bedroom.Copy !req
733. She what?Copy !req
734. That little M.F.
Come on and get me into my cot.Copy !req
735. - Be quick, too. Come on.
- I honor you, Your Majesty.Copy !req
736. Come on, you goons. Come on.Copy !req
737. Get me into that cot.Copy !req
738. Come on. Let's hurry, let's hurry.Copy !req
739. Come on. Let's go, let's go.Copy !req
740. Come on, come on.Copy !req
741. Come on, you big ape. Hurry up, hurry up.Copy !req
742. Come on.Copy !req
743. Why, that ungrateful
little whippersnapper.Copy !req
744. She escaped by shimmying down
this rope of sheets.Copy !req
745. On Backwards Day yet?Copy !req
746. I want you morons to find her
and as for that garbage man,Copy !req
747. I want him shot on sight.Copy !req
748. Damn that hellcat of a daughter of mine.Copy !req
749. That good-for-nothing,
simple-minded scallywag.Copy !req
750. Damn, damn, damn it.Copy !req
751. Oh, Christ.Copy !req
752. - Ooh.
- Pardon me.Copy !req
753. - Watch it, clown.
- Sorry.Copy !req
754. Hi, Mr. Paul.Copy !req
755. Hi, doll face!Copy !req
756. This Backwards Day's
a lot of shit, ain't it?Copy !req
757. Sure is, Mr. Paul. It sure is.Copy !req
758. Can we come?Copy !req
759. Oh, fuck.Copy !req
760. Wait, wait!Copy !req
761. Wait for us!Copy !req
762. Come on.Copy !req
763. Sorry, nudists only. No tourists.Copy !req
764. Shina, it's me Muffy.Copy !req
765. Well, why didn't you say it was the most
beautiful woman in Mortville?Copy !req
766. - Hi, Shina.
- Hey, Mr. Mole.Copy !req
767. This is Grizelda and Peggy.Copy !req
768. They're new in Mortville.Copy !req
769. It's nice to meet you.Copy !req
770. Shina, you got today's paper around?Copy !req
771. We wanna see if we won
the Maryland lottery.Copy !req
772. You know newspapers are contraband.Copy !req
773. But I sure hope you do win.Copy !req
774. This town could stand a little glamor.Copy !req
775. I tell you, I'm gettin' fed up.Copy !req
776. We're all fed up, Shina.Copy !req
777. At least you don't have
to participate in Backwards Day.Copy !req
778. I know, I'm surprised
the Queen didn't order meCopy !req
779. to wear my vagina backwards.Copy !req
780. Excuse me, but I must see Herbert.
Herbert, my love.Copy !req
781. - I honor you, Princess Coo-Coo.
- I honor you.Copy !req
782. Oh, you don't have to do that.Copy !req
783. I'm not like my mother.
I'm a normal person.Copy !req
784. Come on, now. Get up. Please, get up.Copy !req
785. Herbert's out there searchin'
for garbage as usual, Princess Coo-Coo.Copy !req
786. But I tell you, if you two
are havin' an affair, be careful.Copy !req
787. That Queen will cut off your ears.Copy !req
788. Let her do it.
Herbert doesn't care if I have ears.Copy !req
789. He only cares about my mind.Copy !req
790. - Herbert.
- Coo-Coo, Coo-Coo.Copy !req
791. Oh, Coo. I worship the ground you walk on.Copy !req
792. I couldn't keep my mind
on my work all mornin'.Copy !req
793. Every piece of trash I had to pick up
reminded me of you.Copy !req
794. An old candy wrapper
made me think of how sweet you are.Copy !req
795. A snotty Kleenex made me realize
how much I'd cryCopy !req
796. if we ever had to part.Copy !req
797. An old rubber made me think
of all the nights of ErosCopy !req
798. we have before us.Copy !req
799. I love you, Coo-Coo.Copy !req
800. Oh, Herbert.Copy !req
801. I masturbated 14 times last night
just thinkin' of you.Copy !req
802. And when I finally did fall asleepCopy !req
803. my dreams were not exactly dry.Copy !req
804. Take me now, Herbert.
Take me in front of the whole town.Copy !req
805. Oh, my God.Copy !req
806. Oh, no, no.Copy !req
807. Oh, Jesus Christ.Copy !req
808. Oh, no. What hell
lays in store for us now?Copy !req
809. I don't know, Peggy.
Just keep up with Mole.Copy !req
810. How do you like that, mister?Copy !req
811. Get him, girl. Yay!Copy !req
812. What kind of a bar is this?Copy !req
813. Who asked you to sit with us, anyway?Copy !req
814. Well, I have to use the ladies' room.Copy !req
815. - The piss hole's out back.
- I'll save your seat, lover.Copy !req
816. - Oh! Oh, no!
- Over here, baby.Copy !req
817. - Sit on my face.
- Stop it. No! Oh, God, no!Copy !req
818. - Sit on my face over here.
- No, Stop. Leave me alone.Copy !req
819. - Oh, lookin' for some action?
- Oh, no.Copy !req
820. - Come on.
- No, leave me alone.Copy !req
821. - Come on.
- Leave me alone. Just leave me alone.Copy !req
822. - Come on.
- No, go away! Leave me alone.Copy !req
823. - We'll have a good time.
- No! Leave me alone, stop!Copy !req
824. Stop, stop. Oh, God, no!Copy !req
825. - Come on. I wanna see this...
- Leave me alone. Go away!Copy !req
826. - Leave me alone.
- Freak.Copy !req
827. Oh! Please, just go away. Just go away.Copy !req
828. Oh, God. Oh, please just go away.
Just leave me alone.Copy !req
829. Just leave me alone, please.Copy !req
830. Just leave me alone.Copy !req
831. Oh, God. No, no.Copy !req
832. Flipper, yay!Copy !req
833. Oh, God, get off.Copy !req
834. I'm not trying to be rude, really,Copy !req
835. but I can't stay in here any longer.Copy !req
836. Oh, what's the matter? Don't you like fun?Copy !req
837. This is not my idea of fun.Copy !req
838. Grizelda, please walk me
back to the house.Copy !req
839. Oh, loosen up a bit.Copy !req
840. I have no desire to be a loose person,Copy !req
841. and you should stop drinking
before you get dead drunk.Copy !req
842. Oh, come on. I'll walk you back.Copy !req
843. I don't get you, Peggy.Copy !req
844. Yeah, you leech onto us,
and then all you do is complain.Copy !req
845. Let the little babies go home.Copy !req
846. Boy, if you don't like this barCopy !req
847. there is really something wrong with you.Copy !req
848. - Kill him, Flip. Yeah!
- Get him, Flip.Copy !req
849. Come on! Whoo!Copy !req
850. Get him, Flipper.Copy !req
851. Hit him. Come on, you guys.Copy !req
852. Bye-bye, sweetie.Copy !req
853. See you next Tuesday.
Same time, same place.Copy !req
854. Bye!Copy !req
855. Whoo.Copy !req
856. Mm-mm. Mm-mm.Copy !req
857. You lazy bitch.Copy !req
858. I'm out workin' my tail off all day,
and you're in there fuckin' midgets.Copy !req
859. Isn't that the pits?Copy !req
860. Oh, Flipper, now. Don't start that shit.Copy !req
861. She's just an old friend of mine.Copy !req
862. Hey, come on, now. Get in here. Come on!Copy !req
863. Old friend, my ass.Copy !req
864. You've turned my apartment into your own
private passion pit, haven't you?Copy !req
865. Hey, you better cram it, Flipper.Copy !req
866. Not in front of company.Copy !req
867. Sorry if we interrupted anything.Copy !req
868. You didn't interrupt anything, Mole.Copy !req
869. Flipper's so jealous,
she thinks the toiletsCopy !req
870. I sit on is her competition.Copy !req
871. - What can I do for ya?
- Tryin' to find today's paper.Copy !req
872. - You got one, Shotsie?
- Yeah, I got one around here somewhere.Copy !req
873. Just wait a minute here.Copy !req
874. Hey, all right. Here you go.Copy !req
875. - There it is.
- Oh, here it is.Copy !req
876. "Maryland lottery listings."
Here they are.Copy !req
877. "08555321."Copy !req
878. We did it, Muffy.Copy !req
879. - We're rich.
- I want my own chauffeur.Copy !req
880. - We won $1,000.
- Thank you, ladies. Thank you, God.Copy !req
881. Shut up, Muffy. Shut up.Copy !req
882. Look at all those dummies.Copy !req
883. Come on, you apes, hurry up.Copy !req
884. Hurry up.Copy !req
885. Come on, let's be quick.Copy !req
886. Look at those dummies.Copy !req
887. - Gimme that. It's mine.
- It's mine.Copy !req
888. Attention, attention.Copy !req
889. The Honorable Queen Carlotta of Mortville.Copy !req
890. We honor you, Queen Carlotta.
Hail Queen Carlotta.Copy !req
891. Hail Queen Carlotta.Copy !req
892. Out of my way.
Come on. Come on.Copy !req
893. Hey, morons, you got
your clothes on backwards.Copy !req
894. Oh, gosh. This is fun.Copy !req
895. Hi, stupid.Copy !req
896. Hi, ugly.Copy !req
897. Ooh... ew.Copy !req
898. That senile old cunt.Copy !req
899. I wish I had a rifle
with a telescopic lens on it.Copy !req
900. I'd help you pull the trigger, Mole.Copy !req
901. Squeaky Fromme, where are you
when we need you?Copy !req
902. I can't resist.Copy !req
903. That hog face is too much
of a moving target to ignore.Copy !req
904. God damn it. Who threw that?Copy !req
905. God damn it.Copy !req
906. Oh, Herbert. We're safe now.Copy !req
907. I'm sorry I had to drag you all that way,Copy !req
908. but those silly nudists
wanted to bury you.Copy !req
909. Oh, I love you too, my darling.Copy !req
910. Mother can't hurt us now.Copy !req
911. We'll get married tonight.Copy !req
912. Oh, you don't look so well.
I hope you perk up for our honeymoon.Copy !req
913. What the hell is this?Copy !req
914. Oh, I'm sorry. I know it's rude
to bring my lover here,Copy !req
915. especially since I don't even know you.Copy !req
916. But my mother's army's
trying to kill my Herbert.Copy !req
917. Young woman, that man is already dead.Copy !req
918. No, he's not. He's just asleep.Copy !req
919. Aren't you, Herbert?
Say hi to the nice ladies.Copy !req
920. You'd better get your lily-white ass
out of here before we all get shot.Copy !req
921. Please don't kick me out.
Those soldiers are looking for me.Copy !req
922. My mother'll lock me up
in the castle if she finds me.Copy !req
923. You obviously belong in a mental hospital.Copy !req
924. Oh, look who's callin' the kettle black.Copy !req
925. She's just upset. Now be easy on her.Copy !req
926. I will not!Copy !req
927. I don't want some renegade
necrophile princess as my roommate.Copy !req
928. It's just for a few days.Copy !req
929. Don't be so selfish.Copy !req
930. Selfish? I'll show you selfish.Copy !req
931. Get out of here, mongoloid!Copy !req
932. Take that stinking corpse
of a boyfriend with you.Copy !req
933. Oh, Herbert,
this lady's being so mean to me.Copy !req
934. Don't cry, princess.Copy !req
935. I'll try and help you some way.Copy !req
936. There, there.
Everything's gonna be all right.Copy !req
937. Go ahead. Feel her up.
Just like you did to me.Copy !req
938. Find 'em, feel 'em, fuck 'em, forget 'em!Copy !req
939. Is that your new motto?Copy !req
940. Zip that gaping hole of a mouth up, Peggy,Copy !req
941. before I plug it up with my fist.Copy !req
942. You're just like all the rest
of the common dykes in this town.Copy !req
943. What the hell do you mean, dyke?Copy !req
944. A fat dyke! Fat dyke!Copy !req
945. Help, police! The princess is in my house!Copy !req
946. You're under arrest by order
of Her Highness the Queen Carlotta.Copy !req
947. Okay, this is...Copy !req
948. Out!Copy !req
949. What's going on in here?Copy !req
950. Ah!Copy !req
951. What's happening here?Copy !req
952. Oh, God.Copy !req
953. Come on, you little bitch.Copy !req
954. - Get out of there.
- Get up.Copy !req
955. Your mother's waiting to see you.Copy !req
956. Oh, Herbert.Copy !req
957. Come on.Copy !req
958. Those snotty bitches got a lot of nerve
wrecking our guest house.Copy !req
959. I knew I should've gotten
a security deposit from those assholes.Copy !req
960. Yeah. You let riffraff in and they bring
the neighborhood down every time.Copy !req
961. Look, baby, I got to get
my ass into BaltimoreCopy !req
962. to claim our money and do some shoppin'.Copy !req
963. Will you be all right while I'm gone?Copy !req
964. Oh, sure. I'll be fine,
but you be careful.Copy !req
965. All right, then. Lock those doors,
and don't fuck any men.Copy !req
966. Go, go! Go, take it off.
Let's see some ass.Copy !req
967. Oh. Oh. Oh. Strip faster!Copy !req
968. Let's see some private areas. Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
969. Oh, I see London. Oh, I see France.Copy !req
970. Oh, spread those legs, baby!Copy !req
971. Oh, yessiree. A Hollywood love.Copy !req
972. Come on.
That love muscle, I want to see it.Copy !req
973. Oh.Copy !req
974. Come on over here with that thing.Copy !req
975. You're a wicked little boy.Copy !req
976. Gettin' me all heated up, aren't you?Copy !req
977. I'm gonna have to give you a spankin'.Copy !req
978. I've been a bad little boy,
haven't I, Your Highness?Copy !req
979. You certainly have, Grogan.Copy !req
980. Now, get up here with that behind.Copy !req
981. Come on, over my knee, you little bastard!Copy !req
982. This'll teach you to arouse royalty.Copy !req
983. Harder. Harder.Copy !req
984. - May I get up, Your Majesty?
- Yes, get up, stupid.Copy !req
985. I hope you didn't leave
no pecker tracks on my gown.Copy !req
986. May I get dressed, Your Majesty?Copy !req
987. Yes, please do.Copy !req
988. Your body has a certain odor about it
that always annoys me!Copy !req
989. - An odor, Your Majesty?
- Yes, a wretched stench.Copy !req
990. - I wash daily, Your Majesty.
- Well, wash harder in the future.Copy !req
991. There is a noticeable odor zone
somewhere on your body,Copy !req
992. and I'd appreciate it
if you could locate itCopy !req
993. and deodorize it.Copy !req
994. I'll try and correct it, Your Majesty.Copy !req
995. Oh, we can't all be perfect,
Lieutenant Grogan.Copy !req
996. Come on over here and sit besides my feet.Copy !req
997. I honor you, Queen Carlotta.Copy !req
998. You honor me, but certain commoners
in this town obviously don't.Copy !req
999. Someone threw a mudball at me today.Copy !req
1000. If only I had a little pink button to push
that could wipe out this town.Copy !req
1001. Tell me, is it possible
to get me a hydrogen bomb?Copy !req
1002. I doubt it, Your Majesty.Copy !req
1003. How about germ warfare?
Do you know anything about that?Copy !req
1004. You mean poisoning the population?Copy !req
1005. Yes, that sounds like a fun project.Copy !req
1006. How about rabies? Could we spread
that disease inexpensively?Copy !req
1007. I think so, Your Majesty.Copy !req
1008. All we need is some rabid bat pus
to make a serum.Copy !req
1009. Fine! Let's try it.Copy !req
1010. Rabid bat pus, and let's put in
a little rat piss for good luck.Copy !req
1011. You're a genius, Your Majesty.Copy !req
1012. I know. I know.Copy !req
1013. You let me out of here, Mummy!
You murderess! You rat!Copy !req
1014. - Shut up.
- Stinking fascist slug!Copy !req
1015. Swine.Copy !req
1016. Quiet with the crying.Copy !req
1017. Your Majesty,
Herbert the garbage man is dead.Copy !req
1018. And thanks to this noble peasant woman,Copy !req
1019. we have captured Coo-Coo
and returned her to the castle.Copy !req
1020. Release the prisoners!Copy !req
1021. Oh, thank you, Your Wonderful Majesty.Copy !req
1022. You bilious ball of blubber.Copy !req
1023. You rotten, stinking...Copy !req
1024. - Come on, get back here!
- That's the last straw, Coo-Coo!Copy !req
1025. I hereby proclaim—Copy !req
1026. Oh, shut up.Copy !req
1027. I hereby proclaim that you are no longer
the Princess of Mortville.Copy !req
1028. You'll be gang-raped by my soldiers,Copy !req
1029. injected with rabies,
and exiled to the streetsCopy !req
1030. of Mortville where you belong.Copy !req
1031. I consider that an honor,
Your Royal Hogness,Copy !req
1032. to once and for all be freed
from this mockery of a monarchy.Copy !req
1033. I will never live down
the shame of my inherited name,Copy !req
1034. but I will do my best to see
that you topple from the throne.Copy !req
1035. Seize her and fuck her!Copy !req
1036. Yeah.Copy !req
1037. That was a courageous decision,
Your Majesty.Copy !req
1038. You may stand, Mrs. Gravel.Copy !req
1039. I appreciate your help
in capturing my daughter.Copy !req
1040. Loyalty to the Queen
sometimes results in rewards.Copy !req
1041. Let me be the new princess, Your Majesty.Copy !req
1042. I have seen the human trash of Mortville,Copy !req
1043. and I share your contempt for this town.Copy !req
1044. My subjects are beneath contempt,
Mrs. Gravel.Copy !req
1045. Dealing with the poor people
is a waste of time.Copy !req
1046. Only the rich should be allowed to live.Copy !req
1047. I like your politics, Mrs. Gravel.Copy !req
1048. And to tell the truth,
I need a woman like yourselfCopy !req
1049. to follow in my footsteps.Copy !req
1050. If you looked all over this land,
Your Majesty,Copy !req
1051. I doubt you'd find a woman
as vicious as I.Copy !req
1052. We'll give you a trial run.Copy !req
1053. Your first duty will be
to help my soldiers spread rabiesCopy !req
1054. to everyone in town.Copy !req
1055. Do you think you can handle that?Copy !req
1056. Oh, yes, Your Majesty.Copy !req
1057. And I know just the person
I want to give it to first.Copy !req
1058. Dr. Robbie Singer.
Dr. Robbie Singer.Copy !req
1059. Dr. Kate Purcell,
Dr. Purcell...Copy !req
1060. - May I help you?
- Yeah, I want a sex change.Copy !req
1061. Step over here, please.Copy !req
1062. Hey, look. I'm in a rush.Copy !req
1063. So I'd appreciate it if you took me
before these other turkeys.Copy !req
1064. Do you have an appointment?Copy !req
1065. No, I don't.Copy !req
1066. I'm sorry, but we don't see anyone here
without an appointment.Copy !req
1067. Well, you do now, Nurse Nancy.Copy !req
1068. Come on, bitch! Cut these tits off!Copy !req
1069. I'm only the nurse! The doctor is not in.Copy !req
1070. Like hell he isn't!Copy !req
1071. Sorry, Dr. Freedman.Copy !req
1072. Come on, quack. I want the sex change,
and I want it now.Copy !req
1073. Why, Madam, the sex change
is a long, complicated process.Copy !req
1074. - We just can't—
- Just give me the basics,Copy !req
1075. or I'll cut her head off.Copy !req
1076. Look, why don't you just
fill out the necessary formsCopy !req
1077. - and we'll see if—
- Cut the sermonCopy !req
1078. and give me my wang!Copy !req
1079. I want a wang, and I want it now.Copy !req
1080. I can only do so much
under the circumstances.Copy !req
1081. If you don't give me the sex change,Copy !req
1082. I'll cut off your peter
and sew it on me, myself!Copy !req
1083. I'll see what I can do, Madam.Copy !req
1084. Hi, big boys.Copy !req
1085. I'll bet you didn't know that
mommy won the Maryland lottery.Copy !req
1086. Yes!Copy !req
1087. I'm gonna be buying you
lots of new push-up bras.Copy !req
1088. So get ready for your new home.Copy !req
1089. Things are gonna be looking up
for you two.Copy !req
1090. Well, howdy, Miss Muffy!Copy !req
1091. Oh, Mole, you made it!Copy !req
1092. I missed you. I was worried about you.Copy !req
1093. - You got the money?
- I sure do, honey.Copy !req
1094. Look at those greenbacks.Copy !req
1095. Oh, thank God, Mole. Money at last.Copy !req
1096. Good old germ-carrying
American currency. Yay!Copy !req
1097. What you got in the shopping bag?Copy !req
1098. Presents, Muffy. Presents fit for a queen.Copy !req
1099. Can I open them?Copy !req
1100. You sure can, you big hunk of beauty.Copy !req
1101. Come on, hurry up, honey.Copy !req
1102. Ah. Oh...Copy !req
1103. Oh! Oh! Oh, a new bra!Copy !req
1104. A new bra. It's beautiful!Copy !req
1105. Try it on, honey. Let me help you. Quick.Copy !req
1106. - Get them boys in there.
- Just a minute.Copy !req
1107. Oh, hook it. Hook it for me, Mole.Copy !req
1108. - Got 'em in there?
- Yeah, hook it.Copy !req
1109. Ooh-la-la.Copy !req
1110. Oh, that support feels heavenly.Copy !req
1111. - Hold still, now.
- Ooh, hook it. Hook it.Copy !req
1112. - Hold still.
- Oh, tie a knot. Anything.Copy !req
1113. - Ooh.
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
1114. What else you got for me? What else?Copy !req
1115. - Ah.
- Just a second.Copy !req
1116. Oh, a— Oh, a mink coat. A mink coat!Copy !req
1117. What else? What else you got?Copy !req
1118. - Try this one, gorgey.
- Oh, what is it?Copy !req
1119. You'll love it.Copy !req
1120. I feel just like a little girl
on Christmas morning.Copy !req
1121. - A gown! It's stunning.
- Isn't it?Copy !req
1122. Oh, it makes me glad I was born a woman.Copy !req
1123. Oh, you'll have to help me with this.Copy !req
1124. Oh, I'm too nervous. Oh!Copy !req
1125. Just a minute. There it goes.Copy !req
1126. Take them goddamn panties off
for a change.Copy !req
1127. Oh, I'm beginning to feel
like a queen already.Copy !req
1128. You will be queen, Muffy. I promise you.Copy !req
1129. Look at these huggers.Copy !req
1130. Oh, firearms!Copy !req
1131. Goody, goody gumdrops.Copy !req
1132. This one's mine,
and this little.38 is all for you.Copy !req
1133. Oh! You're so good to me, Mole.Copy !req
1134. I don't know what I'd do without you.Copy !req
1135. I got another surprise for you, Muffy.Copy !req
1136. A real big surprise.Copy !req
1137. Something you never even asked for.Copy !req
1138. A Chihuahua?Copy !req
1139. No. You'll see. Close your eyes.Copy !req
1140. No peeking, now.Copy !req
1141. You won't believe this, Muffy.Copy !req
1142. I can't wait.Copy !req
1143. Well, hurry. The suspense is killing me.Copy !req
1144. Oh, yeah!Copy !req
1145. You can open 'em now.Copy !req
1146. What have you done to yourself, Mole?Copy !req
1147. Well, I got the sex change
just for you, Muffy.Copy !req
1148. Get away from me with that deformed worm!Copy !req
1149. You're sick, Mole!
You're a weirdo pervert!Copy !req
1150. Oh, just let me try it once.
I gotta see if it works.Copy !req
1151. It's a brand-new model.
I got it at Hopkins Hospital, Muffy.Copy !req
1152. Cut it off, Mole!Copy !req
1153. Rid your body of that
disgusting transplant!Copy !req
1154. It never goes soft, Muffy.Copy !req
1155. Oh, cut it off, Mole!Copy !req
1156. All right, then.
If that's what you really want.Copy !req
1157. - Cut it off. Cut it off.
- All right.Copy !req
1158. So much for science, Muffy.Copy !req
1159. Ah, a lovely potion.Copy !req
1160. Ah, yes.Copy !req
1161. But it needs something.Copy !req
1162. A lovely bat.Copy !req
1163. And a touch of rat.Copy !req
1164. Ah. A little rat urine.Copy !req
1165. Just what the doctor ordered.Copy !req
1166. That ought to give it a little kick.Copy !req
1167. Goons, bring in Princess Coo-Coo,Copy !req
1168. and tell her her medicine's ready.Copy !req
1169. Get off me with those
semen-stained hands you big ape.Copy !req
1170. I can walk by myself.Copy !req
1171. Well, if it isn't commoner Coo-Coo,
the grave robber.Copy !req
1172. All ready for your little injection?Copy !req
1173. You ass-kissing little snitch.Copy !req
1174. One day I'll get my hands on you.Copy !req
1175. I doubt you'll have the time.Copy !req
1176. For you are nowCopy !req
1177. the proud owner of rabies.Copy !req
1178. Come on, you little bitch.
Get your ass out here.Copy !req
1179. - On the streets, scumbag!
- Don't bite anybody, dog face!Copy !req
1180. Oh!Copy !req
1181. Be brave, sugar. Be brave.Copy !req
1182. I'll fix you all up.Copy !req
1183. I thought you'd like it, Muffy.Copy !req
1184. I thought you wanted a man.Copy !req
1185. I just said that to make you jealous.Copy !req
1186. I like your organs just the way they were.Copy !req
1187. Now— Now I won't have any organs.Copy !req
1188. It'll be like having a Barbie-doll crotch.Copy !req
1189. When I get through with these stitches,Copy !req
1190. it'll be close enough in my book.Copy !req
1191. Careful. This is gonna hurt.Copy !req
1192. Wi— Will, will you ever be able
to love my operation?Copy !req
1193. Oh, I'll love it, Mole.Copy !req
1194. I'll feel it. I'll love it. I'll eat it.Copy !req
1195. Just like old times.Copy !req
1196. Now, hold it. This is gonna hurt.Copy !req
1197. Who the hell is that?Copy !req
1198. Come in.Copy !req
1199. Hi, Your Majesty.Copy !req
1200. Holy shit. Mole, what happened to you?Copy !req
1201. Muffy just gave me an abortion.Copy !req
1202. You were pregnant, Mole?Copy !req
1203. Well, I wasn't gonna tell anybody,Copy !req
1204. but I was raped by those lottery officials
when I picked up my money.Copy !req
1205. Men are such cunts.Copy !req
1206. Oh, men, women, they're all okay
with me as long as they're nude.Copy !req
1207. All that sunshine
must've rotted your brain, Shina.Copy !req
1208. Yeah, there's nothing more disgusting
than a nude man.Copy !req
1209. How many times I gotta tell you,
men are genetic rejects.Copy !req
1210. And all that gristle they got
hanging down between their legsCopy !req
1211. was God's first big mistake.Copy !req
1212. And us woman have been
paying for it ever since.Copy !req
1213. What is she doing in my home, anyway?Copy !req
1214. Oh, be easy on her, Mole.
She's been through hell.Copy !req
1215. When we found her,
she was regurgitating in the streets.Copy !req
1216. Her mother, the hog, had her gang-raped.Copy !req
1217. The poor thing's had a terrible time.Copy !req
1218. You know that Gravel woman
you were hanging out with?Copy !req
1219. Well, she works for the Queen now.Copy !req
1220. She shot Coo-Coo up with a rabies potion.Copy !req
1221. I'm not surprised.Copy !req
1222. That snotty little social climber.Copy !req
1223. I knew I should've fractured her skull.Copy !req
1224. Can I get you anything, Coo-Coo?
Are you infectious, honey?Copy !req
1225. I don't know. My saliva tastes funny
and I itch a lot.Copy !req
1226. Well, under the circumstances,
we'll have to ask youCopy !req
1227. to refrain from using
our kitchen utensils.Copy !req
1228. I won't breathe on anything. I promise.Copy !req
1229. But please help me kill my mother.Copy !req
1230. How's Project Rabies coming along, Peggy?Copy !req
1231. Oh, I feel just like Jonas Salk.Copy !req
1232. Tomorrow is the first day
of mass immunization,Copy !req
1233. or at least that's what
the morons of Mortville think.Copy !req
1234. Won't it be funny when they
start collapsing on the street?Copy !req
1235. It'll be like walking through
a human sewer.Copy !req
1236. I hope I get a chance to kick
every one of 'em right in the headCopy !req
1237. just as they gasp for their last breath.Copy !req
1238. It'll be beautiful.Copy !req
1239. A symphony of death rattles.Copy !req
1240. History will not forget
this holiday of death.Copy !req
1241. Come on, girls.
Now, be quiet. Muffy?Copy !req
1242. Come on.Copy !req
1243. Hey, Officer Cutie Pie?Copy !req
1244. There's someone down here to see you.Copy !req
1245. What do you want, slut?Copy !req
1246. Oh, I'm just looking for a little fun.Copy !req
1247. Can I come up and see
the inside of your bedroom?Copy !req
1248. Mmm... I've had a hard-on
for this bitch for a long time.Copy !req
1249. You know you horny pigs
aren't supposed to comeCopy !req
1250. cruising 'round the castle.Copy !req
1251. But, Officer, you're so cute,
I just couldn't resist.Copy !req
1252. Oh, you're a shapely little mama,
aren't ya?Copy !req
1253. - One down, girls.
- Score, Muffy!Copy !req
1254. Shh. Be quiet. Quietly, now. Quietly.Copy !req
1255. Whoo!Copy !req
1256. Shut up!Copy !req
1257. Shh.Copy !req
1258. Eat lead, motherfuckers.Copy !req
1259. Have we got 'em, girls?Copy !req
1260. What was that, Your Majesty?Copy !req
1261. It's probably the dumb soldiers
playing Russian roulette.Copy !req
1262. I'll go check it out, Your Highness.Copy !req
1263. Who is it? Who's out here?Copy !req
1264. Hold it right there, you royal asshole!Copy !req
1265. Get out of my chambers, lesbians!Copy !req
1266. Hey, you are through
giving orders, meatball.Copy !req
1267. You've humiliated us for
the last time, warthog!Copy !req
1268. Let me bite her.Copy !req
1269. Let me sink my fangs
into her fat little legs.Copy !req
1270. Go right ahead, honey.
Give her the chomp of life.Copy !req
1271. Get away, child. Listen to me.Copy !req
1272. I'm your mother.Copy !req
1273. I'm warning you!Copy !req
1274. Oh, thank heavens you've rescued me.Copy !req
1275. I thought I'd never get out of here alive.Copy !req
1276. Ha! Oh, come off it, pretty little Peggy.Copy !req
1277. I hope you're ready for your
little debutante party in hellCopy !req
1278. 'cause that's where you're going!Copy !req
1279. You wouldn't kill a sister!Copy !req
1280. Oh, yes, we would.Copy !req
1281. - How about it, girls?
- Yeah!Copy !req
1282. Should we give our sister
a little rectal reminderCopy !req
1283. that we don't likeCopy !req
1284. social climbers in Mortville?Copy !req
1285. I'm gonna blow your bowels out.Copy !req
1286. Go ahead.Copy !req
1287. A single gunshot can never destroy
the beauty of fascism.Copy !req
1288. You're so low.Copy !req
1289. You make white trash look
positively top drawer.Copy !req
1290. Oh, blow it out your ass.Copy !req
1291. You filthy muff divers will pay for this!Copy !req
1292. Shut your fucking mouth.Copy !req
1293. No dyke gives me orders.Copy !req
1294. Oh, yeah, Queenie?
Well, how does this grab you?Copy !req
1295. Royal proclamation number one.Copy !req
1296. Kiss my ass!Copy !req
1297. - Whoo. Yeah.
- Yay!Copy !req
1298. You heard the new Queen. Kiss it.Copy !req
1299. Kiss it. Kiss it. Kiss it.
Kiss it. Kiss it.Copy !req
1300. That's more like it, peon!Copy !req
1301. How about it, girls?Copy !req
1302. I think this town deserves
a little feast to celebrateCopy !req
1303. this great day of independence.Copy !req
1304. We got ourselves the biggest
turkey in the world.Copy !req
1305. So, why not eat her?Copy !req
1306. Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
1307. Cook her and eat her. Cook her.Copy !req
1308. Attention all Mortville residents.Copy !req
1309. Queen Carlotta is dead.Copy !req
1310. Your days of humiliation
have come to an end.Copy !req
1311. To celebrate this joyous occasion,Copy !req
1312. I invite you to join me in a victory feastCopy !req
1313. in honor of our newly-found independence.Copy !req
1314. Let the ring of freedom
be heard all over this land.Copy !req
1315. Mortville is at lastCopy !req
1316. a free city.Copy !req
1317. The queen is dead!Copy !req