1. You know that evil
Heavy MetalCopy !req
2. that your parents hate
you listening to?Copy !req
3. You know those lyrics
about hell and doom,Copy !req
4. demons ripping you
new orifices to shit out of?Copy !req
5. What if I told you
it's all reel?Copy !req
6. I know...Copy !req
7. I was there.Copy !req
8. - But wait.
- Lets start at the beginning.Copy !req
9. It all started in Greypoint,Copy !req
10. the middle of ass-fuck nowhere.Copy !req
11. I had to shift here
after my mumCopy !req
12. went on a massive meth bender,Copy !req
13. and tried to suck off
a Santa ClausCopy !req
14. in a crowded mall.Copy !req
15. Mum got sent to a mental wardCopy !req
16. and I got stuck with my uncle.Copy !req
17. My Uncle Albert
was balls deep into Jesus.Copy !req
18. He thought Ricky Martin
was heavy.Copy !req
19. He heard me cranking some
Disembowel/ed Corpse,Copy !req
20. and he hasn't slept for days.Copy !req
21. I brought about
the end of the world.Copy !req
22. Biggest dick move ever.Copy !req
23. - Stop struggling.
- Ow.Copy !req
24. - It won't fit.
- Ow. Ow.Copy !req
25. - Get up there. Oh...
- This is Dion.Copy !req
26. And that is probably the
least embarrassing orificeCopy !req
27. that dice has been shoved into.Copy !req
28. - Wait...
- Yes, it's in!Copy !req
29. And this
is my dickhead cousin.Copy !req
30. Hey, David...Copy !req
31. He's hospitalized
more nerds than asthma.Copy !req
32. I saw Uncle Albert washing
your sheets this morning.Copy !req
33. You shit the bed or something?Copy !req
34. Fuckin' devil-worshiper.Copy !req
35. I can't wait until my dad
kicks you out on the streetsCopy !req
36. and you've got to blow
truck drivers for foodCopy !req
37. like your psycho mum.Copy !req
38. His Mum is a psycho.Copy !req
39. Ow.Copy !req
40. You all right, man?Copy !req
41. Here's your dice.Copy !req
42. - It's actually a die.
- Dice is plural.Copy !req
43. Um, and it's a D10. But...Copy !req
44. Thanks.Copy !req
45. - Jesus.
- Who's that?Copy !req
46. Oh, Medina Darcy.Copy !req
47. Number one cause
of awkward boners in Greypoint.Copy !req
48. Ahhh... no, dude.Copy !req
49. What do you mean "no"?Copy !req
50. No way are you tapping that.Copy !req
51. Chicks like that, they don't
go out with metalheads,Copy !req
52. they bang apes
like your cousin.Copy !req
53. Forget her, man.Copy !req
54. At lunchtime,Copy !req
55. do you want to do something
completely badass?Copy !req
56. And that's...Copy !req
57. eight points
of non-lethal damage.Copy !req
58. Exceeds your HP;
your cleric is unconscious.Copy !req
59. No fucking way.Copy !req
60. How is it still breathing?
I cast a fireball.Copy !req
61. You cast it at a Fire Troll.Copy !req
62. It's immune to fire.Copy !req
63. This is bullshit.Copy !req
64. Well, that's Giles.Copy !req
65. He was once suspendedCopy !req
66. for violating the
CPR training dummy.Copy !req
67. I'm the DM, Giles.Copy !req
68. What I say goes, okay?
I am the law.Copy !req
69. Yeah, this is
your problem, Dion.Copy !req
70. Okay, yeah.Copy !req
71. - This is why no woman
will - will talk to you.Copy !req
72. Hey, do you know what?Copy !req
73. A whole family of goblinsCopy !req
74. has just amassed around
your dead body.Copy !req
75. And one of them
is humping your foot.Copy !req
76. How do you like that?Copy !req
77. - How - how...Copy !req
78. Ah!Copy !req
79. Hey.Copy !req
80. Fuckin' nerds.Copy !req
81. Oh Jesus.Copy !req
82. It's piss.Copy !req
83. - They - they sprayed us
with piss.Copy !req
84. Again!Copy !req
85. Oh, the Player's Guide
is totally ruined.Copy !req
86. My friends are losers,Copy !req
87. my uncle keeps trying
to christen me in my sleep,Copy !req
88. and I'm drenched in my
cousin's bodily fluids.Copy !req
89. X minus one...Copy !req
90. X plus one...Copy !req
91. Good work, Brodie.Copy !req
92. Nice technique.Copy !req
93. Great shading on the
demon penises.Copy !req
94. Ah.Copy !req
95. Ha, is that me
having hot pokersCopy !req
96. stuffed up my rectum
by skeletons?Copy !req
97. Yes, sir.Copy !req
98. - Mmm.
- Nice likeness.Copy !req
99. Very detailed.Copy !req
100. Two weeks detention.Copy !req
101. Silence!Copy !req
102. So, that's me, Brodie.Copy !req
103. Thus, X 6, X 5...Copy !req
104. Fuck my life.Copy !req
105. Fucking late again.Copy !req
106. Oh, Christ, it's my
Satanist cousin Brodie.Copy !req
107. Look at that ugly loner.Copy !req
108. I'm gonna make his life
hell on earth.Copy !req
109. - Wow.
- That's really cool, David.Copy !req
110. Can you please
take me home now?Copy !req
111. I thought we'd take
a drive or something.Copy !req
112. Okay,
It's hard to believe,Copy !req
113. but talking about bullying
isn't really a turn on.Copy !req
114. There was only one
cool thing about Greypoint...Copy !req
115. Alien Records.Copy !req
116. Byron sold the sickest vinyl,Copy !req
117. while his psychic girlfriend,
Abigail,Copy !req
118. told fortunes to
bored housewivesCopy !req
119. Welcome to Alien Records.Copy !req
120. How are things, kid?Copy !req
121. Things are shitty.Copy !req
122. Check it out.Copy !req
123. - Oh, Haxan Sword?
- Epic.Copy !req
124. Yeah, man.Copy !req
125. It's only one of
666 ever printed;Copy !req
126. numbered in blood
by Rikki Daggers himself.Copy !req
127. Metal vinyl is over there
by that kid.Copy !req
128. Fuck, yes.Copy !req
129. Now that's a record, man.Copy !req
130. Yeah.Copy !req
131. I've actually been after
that one for a while.Copy !req
132. I'm Brodie, by the way.Copy !req
133. Zakk.Copy !req
134. After I met Zakk,
my life changed.Copy !req
135. My mother was gonna
call me "Storm," though.Copy !req
136. Rad.Copy !req
137. I know.Copy !req
138. He was a
tornado of chaos,Copy !req
139. leaving, ah,
a trail of destructionCopy !req
140. and teen pregnancies
in his wake.Copy !req
141. Zakk got expelled afterCopy !req
142. stabbing a kid
with a math compassCopy !req
143. because he stepped on his
King Diamond tape.Copy !req
144. Or was it a setsquare?Copy !req
145. He used to help his
Dad at the car workshop.Copy !req
146. But mainly he just stole
anything not bolted onCopy !req
147. and then unbolted the rest.Copy !req
148. Yeah. Fuck you too, Bono.Copy !req
149. Hey man...Copy !req
150. you want to do
something crazy?Copy !req
151. It's not role-playing is it'?Copy !req
152. What the fuck
is role-playing?Copy !req
153. Zakk played bassCopy !req
154. so we started a band.Copy !req
155. Hey.Copy !req
156. This is, ah, Giles and Dion.Copy !req
157. - Hey.
- Hey.Copy !req
158. Right, first things first.Copy !req
159. What are we called?Copy !req
160. Um... Murder Boner?Copy !req
161. Toothed Vagina.Copy !req
162. Oh, Maggot Sperm.Copy !req
163. Cannibal Unicorn.Copy !req
164. How about like,
thirteen S's.Copy !req
165. You know, like...Copy !req
166. Got it. Got it.Copy !req
167. All spelled in capitals.Copy !req
168. Lower case is for pussies.Copy !req
169. Cool. What about...Copy !req
170. I fuckin' said...Copy !req
171. DEATHGASM!Copy !req
172. - Solo!
- Fuckin' shred it!Copy !req
173. Dude, I thought you said
you could play.Copy !req
174. Sorry.Copy !req
175. Ah... I can. I can.Copy !req
176. I'm just - I'm -
I'm just rusty.Copy !req
177. All right. From the top.Copy !req
178. - What?
- Just mixing it up.Copy !req
179. Where are we going?Copy !req
180. It's a surprise.Copy !req
181. What's the hell is that for?Copy !req
182. - Dude, chill out.
- It's fine.Copy !req
183. - All right.
- You stay here.Copy !req
184. You're lookout.Copy !req
185. What?Copy !req
186. Shit.Copy !req
187. Zakk?Copy !req
188. Zakk?Copy !req
189. Oh shit!Copy !req
190. Did you shit yourself?Copy !req
191. Nice surprise.Copy !req
192. - Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- You're an accomplice, mate.Copy !req
193. Don't puss out on me now.
Come on.Copy !req
194. Check it out.Copy !req
195. Oh shit.Copy !req
196. Man, these guys were legends
back in the day.Copy !req
197. Check it out.Copy !req
198. Oh.Copy !req
199. Rikki Daggers.Copy !req
200. He was a maniac.Copy !req
201. Didn't he used to kill
live rabbits on stageCopy !req
202. with a crowbar?Copy !req
203. - No, man.
- It was a claw hammer.Copy !req
204. Wonder what
happened to him?Copy !req
205. Spent all his money
on coke,Copy !req
206. hookers and Satanist shit.Copy !req
207. Last I heard he was
hiding out in some small,Copy !req
208. crappy New Zealand town.Copy !req
209. No fuckin' way.Copy !req
210. Yes fuckin' way.Copy !req
211. No fuckin' way.Copy !req
212. - Rikki Fuckin'
- Daggers, man.Copy !req
213. - Shh.
- Hey, this way.Copy !req
214. - Holy fuck.
- Look at those amps.Copy !req
215. - Ah, they're old as hell.
- Probably all busted.Copy !req
216. Is that...?Copy !req
217. It's him.Copy !req
218. Is he dead?Copy !req
219. I bags that record.Copy !req
220. Dude, that's low.Copy !req
221. I can go much lower.Copy !req
222. Shh.Copy !req
223. Come on.Copy !req
224. - Check it out.
- No fuckin' way.Copy !req
225. Motherfucker!Copy !req
226. - Whoa!
- Dude. Dude. Dude.Copy !req
227. Dude...Copy !req
228. - The record!
- Drop it!Copy !req
229. Kick it back.Copy !req
230. Right. What the fuckCopy !req
231. - Chill.
- Are you two cunts...Copy !req
232. doing in my house?Copy !req
233. - Let's get out of here.
- Come on.Copy !req
234. Don't you fuckin' move.Copy !req
235. Aeon sent you,
didn't he?Copy !req
236. When are you
occultist cuntsCopy !req
237. ever gonna fuckin learn?Copy !req
238. - No, we're just - we're just
metalheads.Copy !req
239. We're fans.Copy !req
240. Well, how did you find me?Copy !req
241. Latest Death Scream, dude.Copy !req
242. You were outed.Copy !req
243. Oh fuck.Copy !req
244. Fuck!Copy !req
245. We're all gonna die.Copy !req
246. Shit, someone's coming!Copy !req
247. Here. Take it.Copy !req
248. Take it!Copy !req
249. Hide it and guard it
with your life.Copy !req
250. Come on, let's bail.Copy !req
251. - Let's bail.
- Fuck.Copy !req
252. So you fuckers
finally found me.Copy !req
253. Where is it, Daggers?Copy !req
254. Who were you talking to?Copy !req
255. I heard voices.Copy !req
256. Why don't you go homeCopy !req
257. and tell Aeon
to fuck himself!Copy !req
258. It's a trap.Copy !req
259. Well, go on then,
do it, you fuckin' pussy!Copy !req
260. Well, that was fucked up.Copy !req
261. Dude, what the hell?Copy !req
262. It's a fucking
Rick Astley record!Copy !req
263. Fuck.Copy !req
264. What the hell was that?Copy !req
265. Weird.Copy !req
266. It's music.Copy !req
267. Can you read it?Copy !req
268. - Yeah, I think so.
- It's pretty universal.Copy !req
269. It's really old.Copy !req
270. Holy fuck.Copy !req
271. Look at the title.Copy !req
272. What the fuck does it say?Copy !req
273. Don't know,
I think it's Latin.Copy !req
274. What, like,
Dora the fuckin' Explorer?Copy !req
275. No. Like, like,
Romans and shit.Copy !req
276. - Dude...
- We should learn this;Copy !req
277. turn it into a
DEATHGASM song!Copy !req
278. It'll be fuckin' brutal.Copy !req
279. You want a beer?Copy !req
280. Ah, yeah.Copy !req
281. Vadin.Copy !req
282. - I found Daggers.
- Straight to it'?Copy !req
283. Not even a,
"How are things, Aeon?"Copy !req
284. You're direct.Copy !req
285. I've always liked
that about you.Copy !req
286. Aeon, the pages.Copy !req
287. The Black Hymn, Vadin.Copy !req
288. Pages are just paper.Copy !req
289. The Black Hymn
is absolute powerCopy !req
290. Please, give it the
reverence it deserves.Copy !req
291. Daggers didn't have it,
The Black Hymn.Copy !req
292. I think someone
got to it before us.Copy !req
293. Oh.Copy !req
294. That's a shame.Copy !req
295. There was a break in.Copy !req
296. The pages should be
in Greypoint somewhere.Copy !req
297. I just need more time.Copy !req
298. Winners don't make excuses
for their failures, Vadin.Copy !req
299. They learn from them.Copy !req
300. No. Please.Copy !req
301. Take his fucking head off.Copy !req
302. No!Copy !req
303. Oh, come on,Copy !req
304. that's a custom made
Sartori rug! Idiots!Copy !req
305. You put a tarp down first.Copy !req
306. Do it again.Copy !req
307. Again!Copy !req
308. Do it again!Copy !req
309. That's good.Copy !req
310. Yeah, I think that worked.Copy !req
311. Get the car.Copy !req
312. We're heading into Greypoint.Copy !req
313. - Zakk - Zakk, that's good.Copy !req
314. Urn, Brodie,Copy !req
315. can - can you put your
foot up on that tree?Copy !req
316. Yeah.
But - but higher?Copy !req
317. Higher.Copy !req
318. This is retarded.Copy !req
319. Our - our instruments
aren't even plugged in.Copy !req
320. Where the fuck is the sound
supposed to be coming from?Copy !req
321. Trust me.Copy !req
322. This is gonna be
off the hook.Copy !req
323. Yeah, yeah.
No, that's good.Copy !req
324. Um, let's - let's head
to the next location.Copy !req
325. Fuck you, Dion.Copy !req
326. Does anybody want
anything from the shop?Copy !req
327. Condoms, Vaseline,Copy !req
328. jumper cables
and ammonium nitrate.Copy !req
329. I don't think they sell
that combination of things.Copy !req
330. See... Oh!Copy !req
331. SonyCopy !req
332. Sorry.Copy !req
333. There you go.Copy !req
334. Could I please have
my tampon?Copy !req
335. Yeah sure.Copy !req
336. Thanks.Copy !req
337. You're Brodie, right?Copy !req
338. Yeah.Copy !req
339. I'm Medina,
from maths class.Copy !req
340. Right, you're David's
girlfriend, right?Copy !req
341. You know what,
I was gonna get an ice cream.Copy !req
342. Did you want one?Copy !req
343. Ah, yeah.Copy !req
344. Ah, yeah. I was just
helping these guys, urn...Copy !req
345. - Ah, we're - we're
all done here,Copy !req
346. dude, ah, catch you later.Copy !req
347. Yeah, that'd be great.Copy !req
348. Cool.Copy !req
349. Sperminate her, dude!Copy !req
350. So, um, the other day,
in maths...Copy !req
351. ah, Mr Capenhurst
is such a dick.Copy !req
352. - Yeah.
- Yep.Copy !req
353. I, um, I saved this.Copy !req
354. Well,
I rescued it from the bin.Copy !req
355. You're a really good drawer,
like, really talented.Copy !req
356. I wish I could draw like that.Copy !req
357. Okay-Copy !req
358. Thank you.
Thanks.Copy !req
359. - You know, I was -Copy !req
360. I was thinking about
getting a tattooCopy !req
361. it would drive my dad crazy.Copy !req
362. I should get you
to design it.Copy !req
363. Maybe that's lame.Copy !req
364. No, of course.Copy !req
365. I mean, of course
I would help you design it.Copy !req
366. Not, "Of course
I think it's lame."Copy !req
367. Okay-Copy !req
368. You know, I was thinking
about getting it just, urn...Copy !req
369. just here.Copy !req
370. Yes...
good spot for it.Copy !req
371. - Or - or maybe here,
on my upper thigh.Copy !req
372. - Yeah, yeah.
- Yes, yeah.Copy !req
373. Either - I mean, again,
both great areas - places.Copy !req
374. And hard decision.Copy !req
375. So...Copy !req
376. So, you're in a band?Copy !req
377. Yeah, I, um, I play,
ah, the guitar.Copy !req
378. I mean, axe.Copy !req
379. Um, do you,
do you like metal?Copy !req
380. Um, isn't it just a bunch
of guys screaming?Copy !req
381. No way.Copy !req
382. Well, apart from grindcore.Copy !req
383. And... death metal
is kind of like that.Copy !req
384. And deathcore, screamo,
pornogrind,Copy !req
385. black metal, mathcore,
thrash and mordorcore.Copy !req
386. - But apart from those.
- Mmm.Copy !req
387. It's just not my thing.Copy !req
388. I don't really get it.Copy !req
389. It's like,
when life sucks,Copy !req
390. and - and you feel alone
and empty.Copy !req
391. You stick on some metal
and life is better, because -Copy !req
392. because somebody else
knows the pain and -Copy !req
393. and the rage that you're
going through, you know?Copy !req
394. Urn, I'll - I'll -
I'll lend you a CD.Copy !req
395. You should - you should
have a - have a listen.Copy !req
396. Ah...Copy !req
397. Oh.Copy !req
398. Ah, Anal Cunt.Copy !req
399. Ah, ah...Copy !req
400. This one.Copy !req
401. Awesome.Copy !req
402. Ah, these are really,
really old.Copy !req
403. How are they not
in a museum?Copy !req
404. Where did you say you
got these again, dude?Copy !req
405. - I, um...
- Found them...Copy !req
406. In a skip.Copy !req
407. I'm warning you, Brodie.Copy !req
408. Stop that devil music now.Copy !req
409. Shit, man.Copy !req
410. Laters, bud.Copy !req
411. Dude, you choked again.Copy !req
412. Sorry, I, ah,
started panicking.Copy !req
413. You ever
had that feelingCopy !req
414. where you can't breathe?Copy !req
415. Like there's a crushing
weight on your chest,Copy !req
416. and the room gets
really smallCopy !req
417. and your heart starts
beating insanely fast?Copy !req
418. No, never had that.Copy !req
419. Oh, although this one time,Copy !req
420. this chick grabbed
my nuts too hard,Copy !req
421. and my splooge
came out red.Copy !req
422. Brotherhood of Steel?Copy !req
423. Brotherhood of Steel.Copy !req
424. Laters.Copy !req
425. Whoa.Copy !req
426. The expressionCopy !req
427. Three A plus two B
over two.Copy !req
428. When A equals threeCopy !req
429. and B equals four.Copy !req
430. Anyway, three A
plus two B equals two.Copy !req
431. Then A equals three.Copy !req
432. B equals four.Copy !req
433. Hey, cuz.Copy !req
434. The fuck do you want?Copy !req
435. Fuck.Copy !req
436. Get him.Copy !req
437. Fuck off, David.Copy !req
438. What are you gonna do
about it, fudge packer?Copy !req
439. Tell my dad?Copy !req
440. He hates you, too.Copy !req
441. Fuck.Copy !req
442. You go near my bitch againCopy !req
443. and I'll punch you in the
dick every morning.Copy !req
444. Fucktard.Copy !req
445. Rip Brodie's girlie
earring out.Copy !req
446. No.Copy !req
447. No! No, no, no...Copy !req
448. - Come on.
- Lay into him.Copy !req
449. Are you stealing petrol?Copy !req
450. - No.
- I'm stealing diesel.Copy !req
451. Well, don't you feel guilty?Copy !req
452. - No.
- Hold that.Copy !req
453. - You're Zakk right?
- Brodie's friend?Copy !req
454. He - do you know
where he is?Copy !req
455. He skipped class
this afternoon.Copy !req
456. Brodie?Copy !req
457. Oh yeah. He lost his dick in
a freak bandsaw accident.Copy !req
458. Tragic.Copy !req
459. Okay...Copy !req
460. Urn... Well...Copy !req
461. Can you give him this?Copy !req
462. Oh.Copy !req
463. Don't read it.Copy !req
464. Zakk?Copy !req
465. Where's Brodie?Copy !req
466. He told me to
pass on a message.Copy !req
467. He's not interested.Copy !req
468. He's got other shit
going on.Copy !req
469. Oh.Copy !req
470. Well, that's shit.Copy !req
471. Yeah...Copy !req
472. well, I thought I'd
come down and tell you.Copy !req
473. Save up waiting all night,
freezing your tits off, eh?Copy !req
474. Thank you for considering
the well-being of my tits.Copy !req
475. You're welcome.Copy !req
476. Here.Copy !req
477. You're freezing.Copy !req
478. Swig?Copy !req
479. Helps take the
bullshit away.Copy !req
480. Fuck it.Copy !req
481. His mum is a psycho...Copy !req
482. Are you gonna tell us
who gave you the shiner?Copy !req
483. Won't matter soon.Copy !req
484. Let's just fuckin' do this.Copy !req
485. Dude, you know
I have your back.Copy !req
486. Tell me who they are,
I'll fuck them up.Copy !req
487. I'm fine.Copy !req
488. All right. Well, if they
give you anymore shit,Copy !req
489. I know a trick, all right?Copy !req
490. Point down at their zipper,
and say,Copy !req
491. "Ooh gross,
your cock is hanging out."Copy !req
492. And then when they
look down... Boom!Copy !req
493. You punch them in the face.Copy !req
494. My dad taught me that.Copy !req
495. All right, ladies.
From the top.Copy !req
496. Goddamn,
I have the worst headache.Copy !req
497. Were we asleep?Copy !req
498. Amps are buggered.Copy !req
499. Guys...Copy !req
500. Guys, do I look different?Copy !req
501. More, like... more powerful?Copy !req
502. You could be
weaker than before.Copy !req
503. Something fucked up happened.Copy !req
504. Man, my head is throbbing.Copy !req
505. Something went wrong.Copy !req
506. It didn't work.Copy !req
507. What are you
talkin' about, dude?Copy !req
508. Wouldn't it be crazy if-Copy !req
509. if the music had something
to do with demons?Copy !req
510. Demons?Copy !req
511. Demons?Copy !req
512. Demons? What?Copy !req
513. Fuck!Copy !req
514. What do you want,
asshole?Copy !req
515. Can you hear the trumpets,
Brodie?Copy !req
516. They're getting louder.Copy !req
517. The Blind One is coming.Copy !req
518. He's going to suck out
your intestinesCopy !req
519. for a thousand yearsCopy !req
520. and use your ribs
as toothpicks.Copy !req
521. Urn... okay.Copy !req
522. Did I mentionCopy !req
523. he's going to roast your
nuts over an open fire?Copy !req
524. While they are still attached,
of course.Copy !req
525. - Ah. No, Terry.
- You didn't mention that.Copy !req
526. Well, he is.Copy !req
527. Mr Capenhurst,
are you okay?Copy !req
528. Oh my God.Copy !req
529. Oh my God.Copy !req
530. There was just
blood everywhere,Copy !req
531. from every hole.Copy !req
532. It was crazy.Copy !req
533. Weird.Copy !req
534. Yeah, it was mental, man.Copy !req
535. Medina, too. Just-
just totally ignored me.Copy !req
536. Did she say why?Copy !req
537. No.Copy !req
538. Feels like everybody
in my neighborhoodCopy !req
539. has gone insane.Copy !req
540. This town has always
been fuckin' crazy.Copy !req
541. Probably the Illuminati,Copy !req
542. pouring fuckin' fluoride in
the water or something.Copy !req
543. What the fuck
is that noise?Copy !req
544. Dad?Copy !req
545. For fuck's sake.Copy !req
546. Dad?Copy !req
547. Dad?Copy !req
548. Dad, what the fuck
are you doing?Copy !req
549. Dad?Copy !req
550. What are you doing?Copy !req
551. - What's wrong with him?
- Is he drunk?Copy !req
552. I don't think so.Copy !req
553. Dad, talk to me.Copy !req
554. Look, I'm going to take this
t-shirt off your face.Copy !req
555. Yeah?Copy !req
556. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah. It's okay.Copy !req
557. Fuck!Copy !req
558. What the fuck is he doing?Copy !req
559. - Holy fuck!
- Whoa!Copy !req
560. I can see you.Copy !req
561. Oh fuck!Copy !req
562. Brutal.Copy !req
563. Should we check his pulse?Copy !req
564. He has a fucking
engine for a head.Copy !req
565. I don't think he's gonna be
walking this one off, man.Copy !req
566. Shit.Copy !req
567. Your Dad, I'm... Fuck.
I'm really sorry.Copy !req
568. Fuck!Copy !req
569. You know,
it's weird butCopy !req
570. I think he would've
wanted to go out like this.Copy !req
571. His eyes ripped out,
face grinded off,Copy !req
572. and then head mounted
under a car engine?Copy !req
573. Totally.Copy !req
574. For whom the bell tolls,
old man.Copy !req
575. Oh fuck.Copy !req
576. Fuck!Copy !req
577. Dude, dude,
I am so sorry.Copy !req
578. Fuck, man,
this is all my fault.Copy !req
579. Okay. Fuck.
I translated those pages,Copy !req
580. and - and - and
they were to do with -Copy !req
581. with summoning demons, okay?Copy !req
582. And now people
are turning crazy.Copy !req
583. Like, possessed crazy.Copy !req
584. You knew that was
some black magic shitCopy !req
585. and you didn't fuckin' tell me?Copy !req
586. I didn't want you
to think I was crazy.Copy !req
587. It's a bit fuckin' late now,
isn't it'?Copy !req
588. This is fucking twisted, man.Copy !req
589. Fuckin' demons?Copy !req
590. - Abigail.
- Fuckin' Abigail.Copy !req
591. You know, the - the chick from
the - from the record store,Copy !req
592. the psychic chick.Copy !req
593. She knows all about this stuff.Copy !req
594. We should go see her.Copy !req
595. - The lights are on.
- They could still be here.Copy !req
596. Well, I'm out of ideas.Copy !req
597. Jesus!Copy !req
598. These things suck.Copy !req
599. What are you... hey!
What are you doing?Copy !req
600. Who brings a dice purseCopy !req
601. to a demon
apocalypse anyway?Copy !req
602. How do we stop
these things?Copy !req
603. Shit.Copy !req
604. - Medina!
- What's up?Copy !req
605. - Sweet axe skills.
- Thanks.Copy !req
606. I wanted to come up with,
like, a one-liner like,Copy !req
607. "You were axing for this"
or something.Copy !req
608. That would be really cool,
right?Copy !req
609. That was pretty cool as is.Copy !req
610. I mean, the axe, and the...Copy !req
611. Yeah.Copy !req
612. Fuckin' awesome.Copy !req
613. Abigail, we need to get
you to a hospital, okay?Copy !req
614. It's too late.Copy !req
615. It has possessed
their bodies.Copy !req
616. Whoa.Copy !req
617. Is that Satan?Copy !req
618. That is Aeloth,
King of the Demons.Copy !req
619. Aeloth?Copy !req
620. Sounds like a badass.Copy !req
621. These words
were in music pages.Copy !req
622. The Black Hymn.Copy !req
623. You have it.Copy !req
624. Have it'?Copy !req
625. We fuckin' played it.Copy !req
626. Well, then you
have fucked us all.Copy !req
627. The possessed bodies,
they kill all in their pathCopy !req
628. in preparation for
Aeloth's ascensionCopy !req
629. on the next blood moon.Copy !req
630. On the Devil's Hour.Copy !req
631. Oh shit,
the moon is red tonight.Copy !req
632. When is the Devil's Hour?Copy !req
633. Three AM.Copy !req
634. Wait.Copy !req
635. Three AM Pacific
or Eastern time?Copy !req
636. Do demons recognize
daylight savings?Copy !req
637. When Aeloth returns,
his soul will fuseCopy !req
638. with that of a darkest
human host.Copy !req
639. How can we stop him?Copy !req
640. Do you still have
the Black Hymn?Copy !req
641. Yeah, it's back at my Uncle's.Copy !req
642. Well, then we can...Copy !req
643. Oh shit!Copy !req
644. Ah!Copy !req
645. Have you guys
seen Brodie tonight?Copy !req
646. Everyone I've seen is either
dead or psycho-ed.Copy !req
647. No sign.Copy !req
648. Ah, hey,Copy !req
649. my Dad said we should
head to the schoolCopy !req
650. in an emergency.Copy !req
651. It's, um, Greypoint's
civil defense centre.Copy !req
652. He's a warden.Copy !req
653. I mean, was until he...
got possessed and...Copy !req
654. ate Mum's skin off.Copy !req
655. Dude, are you still
going on about that?Copy !req
656. It was hours ago!
Get the fuck over it!Copy !req
657. Let's head to the school.Copy !req
658. We're not gonna
survive out here.Copy !req
659. Oh, wait a sec.Copy !req
660. Oh God.Copy !req
661. Let's hope the demons
can%read, eh?Copy !req
662. You ready?Copy !req
663. Let's go.Copy !req
664. We need you to destroy
the Vocavitque Rex Daemonia.Copy !req
665. Destroy it?Copy !req
666. We came here to get it.Copy !req
667. Those who performed
the Black HymnCopy !req
668. may try to reverse it
before Aeloth's ascension.Copy !req
669. Can't you destroy it?Copy !req
670. No!Copy !req
671. Only those who still have a
soul can touch the pages.Copy !req
672. I do not.Copy !req
673. I have one condition.Copy !req
674. I want to become
Aeloth's vessel.Copy !req
675. It has to be me.Copy !req
676. His soul will bind with the
blackest human soul nearby,Copy !req
677. a soul that will not
resist his power.Copy !req
678. You! No! Please!Copy !req
679. No!Copy !req
680. Now who doesn't
have a gag reflex?Copy !req
681. I pledge allegiance
to Aeloth the Blind.Copy !req
682. Kill anyone
who gets in your way.Copy !req
683. You will be rewarded
with more powerCopy !req
684. than you can imagine.Copy !req
685. Find Brodie.
He is the key.Copy !req
686. Before she died,Copy !req
687. Abigail was trying
to tell us something.Copy !req
688. Maybe...Copy !req
689. Okay...Copy !req
690. Okay, we're gonna go back
to my place, all right?Copy !req
691. We're gonna get my guitar,
and the pages.Copy !req
692. I'm gonna try and play
this song backwards,Copy !req
693. Rob Halford style, man.Copy !req
694. I mean,
it makes sense, right?Copy !req
695. Reverse all this shit?Copy !req
696. Fuck that.Copy !req
697. This town is shit.Copy !req
698. We're going up to the lookout,
rolling a three-skinner,Copy !req
699. cranking some SlayerCopy !req
700. and watching this town burn
to the fuckin' ground!Copy !req
701. Dude, what about Medina,
Giles and Dion?Copy !req
702. They could all still be alive.Copy !req
703. Those guys are dicks.Copy !req
704. Medina is never gonna
put out for you, man.Copy !req
705. You're never gonna get to
second base with that girl.Copy !req
706. What?Copy !req
707. You know. Anal.Copy !req
708. Okay-Copy !req
709. Firstly, I don't want to knowCopy !req
710. what you think forth base is,
all right?Copy !req
711. But I'm going for
the music pages.Copy !req
712. Dude, fucking stop.Copy !req
713. Don't you give a shit
about anyone but yourself?Copy !req
714. No, I don't.Copy !req
715. Fuck them.Copy !req
716. Dude,
I do care about the Holden.Copy !req
717. Hey, Cocktopus!
You win.Copy !req
718. I'll take you to do the thing
with the music, or whatever.Copy !req
719. Dude!Copy !req
720. Come on. Get in.Copy !req
721. Come on.Copy !req
722. Okay,Copy !req
723. so all the shit
is in my room, all right.Copy !req
724. But just watch out for
my Aunt and Uncle,Copy !req
725. because they hate you.Copy !req
726. And also...
they might be demons.Copy !req
727. - Right.
- Okay?Copy !req
728. Oh shit.Copy !req
729. But they are into
all that God shit, right?Copy !req
730. They'll be sweet, they'll just
pray themselves to safety.Copy !req
731. No, no, urn...Copy !req
732. No, they were at home
when we played the song.Copy !req
733. Fuck.Copy !req
734. Look, they definitely
would've heard it, okay?Copy !req
735. Looks all clear.
I'll get the music.Copy !req
736. You've been a bad boy,
Brodie.Copy !req
737. I can taste you from here.Copy !req
738. Zakk!Copy !req
739. Fuck!Copy !req
740. Shit.Copy !req
741. We need to arm up.Copy !req
742. - Does your uncle have a gun?
- I doubt it, man.Copy !req
743. Fuck!Copy !req
744. Fuck.Copy !req
745. _ Fuck yes!Copy !req
746. I bet there are some
crosses in here.Copy !req
747. Or some bibles we
could bash them with.Copy !req
748. What the hell?Copy !req
749. Ah, I think they're, um,
they're rosary beads? Yeah.Copy !req
750. What part of church do they
crank this bad boy, Brodie?Copy !req
751. Oh.Copy !req
752. - Hey, Brodie?
- What?Copy !req
753. Oh fuck.Copy !req
754. Why would you do that?Copy !req
755. It's not working.Copy !req
756. These are a bit shit.Copy !req
757. - Hold them off.
- What?Copy !req
758. Yes.Copy !req
759. Brodie!Copy !req
760. No!Copy !req
761. No!Copy !req
762. No!Copy !req
763. No! No! Ah. No!Copy !req
764. Ah! No!Copy !req
765. I'm going to eat your soul.Copy !req
766. Fucking die!Copy !req
767. No!Copy !req
768. No! Stop!
Please. No!Copy !req
769. No.Copy !req
770. No.Copy !req
771. What... the fuck?Copy !req
772. Pretty sure he
wasn't possessed.Copy !req
773. - What? Oh no.
- Of course he was.Copy !req
774. Because when he
came in he said,Copy !req
775. ah, something about Satan.Copy !req
776. You didn't hear him
say that?Copy !req
777. Fuck!Copy !req
778. Hey, the pages
are blowing away.Copy !req
779. You have to help me...Copy !req
780. Oh sick, man.Copy !req
781. What? They were like
that when I found them.Copy !req
782. - Come on.
- We have to get the music.Copy !req
783. All right, look,
I'm going to help you do thisCopy !req
784. but only because
you suck at it.Copy !req
785. Also it's kind of fun
stabbing shit.Copy !req
786. But we need to get
better weapons.Copy !req
787. Yeah?Copy !req
788. Brutal.Copy !req
789. Brutal as fuck.Copy !req
790. You're pretty good
at whacking guys off, bro.Copy !req
791. Did you see that?Copy !req
792. I'm gonna go check it out.Copy !req
793. Brodie, you've got
the page, let's go.Copy !req
794. Brodie!Copy !req
795. Shit!Copy !req
796. Medina.Copy !req
797. Brodie.Copy !req
798. HEY-Copy !req
799. HEY-Copy !req
800. - We're just holed
up in - inside.Copy !req
801. " We?Copy !req
802. When Medina was
killing those demonsCopy !req
803. I got a bit of a half-chub.Copy !req
804. Look, let's get back
to the matter at hand here.Copy !req
805. Seeing as how you're in an
underground dwarven citadel,Copy !req
806. it looks as if it has
nested hinges, which are...Copy !req
807. Oh... Brodie!Copy !req
808. Told you they'd be okay.Copy !req
809. No you didn't.Copy !req
810. You said they were
probably dead already.Copy !req
811. You wanted dibs
on his guitar.Copy !req
812. Ow.Copy !req
813. I found these guys
outside your house.Copy !req
814. You were looking for us?Copy !req
815. - Of course.
- Ah, you got our note, rightCopy !req
816. No. I didn't see any note.Copy !req
817. Oh.Copy !req
818. Who would have thought
that Mr Proctor'sCopy !req
819. rock collection would
come in handy?Copy !req
820. Oh gosh.
Your hand.Copy !req
821. Oh, ah, it's okay.Copy !req
822. No.Copy !req
823. That's Zakk's jacket.Copy !req
824. When did you get that?Copy !req
825. He, urn...Copy !req
826. He lent it to me.Copy !req
827. He stopped by the other night
to - to tell me that, um...Copy !req
828. you know, hmm?Copy !req
829. You weren't interested.Copy !req
830. What?Copy !req
831. The note that I gave
Zakk to give to youCopy !req
832. to meet me at the
park at 9:00.Copy !req
833. - No.
- I didn't get that note either.Copy !req
834. So...Copy !req
835. did you guys hook up?Copy !req
836. Motherfucker!Copy !req
837. Brodie, just leave it.Copy !req
838. - Fuckin' wanker.
- You knew I liked her.Copy !req
839. Calm the fuck down,
all right?Copy !req
840. I'm not even into her;
I was just bored.Copy !req
841. Oh well. That's supposed
to make it fuckin' better?Copy !req
842. What happened to
Brotherhood of Steel?Copy !req
843. You know what?Copy !req
844. Everyone was fuckin'
right about you.Copy !req
845. - You're a piece of shit.
- Fuck you!Copy !req
846. You let this happen by being
such an insecure pussy.Copy !req
847. Yeah, that's right, walk away.Copy !req
848. Grow some
fucking balls, man.Copy !req
849. Motherfucker!Copy !req
850. - You motherfucker.
- You knew I liked her.Copy !req
851. Save it for the demons,
you two!Copy !req
852. All right.Copy !req
853. All right.Copy !req
854. FUCK you!Copy !req
855. I never even liked you.Copy !req
856. Good luck
fighting evil without me.Copy !req
857. You're all gonna fuckin' die.Copy !req
858. Death to false metal!Copy !req
859. I expected this.Copy !req
860. He's Chaotic Neutral
and you're Lawful Good.Copy !req
861. Your alignments are
just totally mismatched.Copy !req
862. How are we gonna
play it backwards?Copy !req
863. It was hard enough
playing it forwards.Copy !req
864. Will take a few goes.Copy !req
865. Well, time isn't
exactly on our side.Copy !req
866. And another problem:
when we first played the song,Copy !req
867. everyone in the neighborhood
got possessed first, right?Copy !req
868. " So?Copy !req
869. Well, they were all
within earshot.Copy !req
870. But our amps blew up.Copy !req
871. Right. Okay, so we need
some serious decibels.Copy !req
872. Well, does the
school have any?Copy !req
873. Are you kidding?Copy !req
874. Our whole music class had
to share the same recorder.Copy !req
875. I can still taste it.Copy !req
876. I know a place
that has amps.Copy !req
877. Big ones.Copy !req
878. Not sure if they still work,
but it's our only chance.Copy !req
879. Out there?Copy !req
880. It's gonna be crazy.Copy !req
881. And we don't have
a car without Zakk.Copy !req
882. Zakk can eat my ass.Copy !req
883. We don't need him.
We can do it on our own.Copy !req
884. Fuck yeah.Copy !req
885. Fuck yeah.Copy !req
886. Let's tear shit up.Copy !req
887. Shh. Stay low.Copy !req
888. Come on.Copy !req
889. - Just chill, all right?
- We're not demons.Copy !req
890. Drop the weapons.Copy !req
891. Now.Copy !req
892. Damn.Copy !req
893. I can't tell if I have a fear
boner or a boner-boner.Copy !req
894. - I didn't even say anything.
- Hit him.Copy !req
895. Listen, just let us go, okay.Copy !req
896. You don't know
what you're doing.Copy !req
897. The town is overrun
with fucking demons.Copy !req
898. We know exactly
what we're doing.Copy !req
899. Give me the Vogue-catty
queff-wrecks-demony.Copy !req
900. Um, it's actually pronounced
Vocavitque rex daemonia.Copy !req
901. That tongue wasn't
meant for Latin.Copy !req
902. Oh! Come on!Copy !req
903. - The Black Hymn!
- Where is it?Copy !req
904. I don't know
what you talking about.Copy !req
905. - Ah, no.
- Ow.Copy !req
906. Well?Copy !req
907. Don't tell this Manson family
cumbucket anything, Brodie.Copy !req
908. Okay, okay-Copy !req
909. It's here.Copy !req
910. No!Copy !req
911. Tie them up,
take them in the bedroom.Copy !req
912. They can be a live
offering for Aeloth.Copy !req
913. - No.
- No, please, let us go.Copy !req
914. You had your chance.Copy !req
915. You awakened Aeloth,Copy !req
916. pleaded with him to take
away your weaknessCopy !req
917. and vanquish your enemies.Copy !req
918. He would've given you
power, fame, fortune,Copy !req
919. and any woman you want.Copy !req
920. But you blew it.Copy !req
921. Is that true, Brodie?Copy !req
922. You did all of this for power?Copy !req
923. - I didn't want this.
- Get them out.Copy !req
924. - Whoa, whoa, okay.
- Okay, okay.Copy !req
925. Do you think if we soil
our pants, they'll let us go?Copy !req
926. I guess we'll find out soon.Copy !req
927. - ... In sanguine.
- Intra in sanguinem.Copy !req
928. De caelo laceri.
Lacerato horrorem.Copy !req
929. Proin cursus meum.
Regnabunt autem in sanguine.Copy !req
930. Intra in sanguinem...Copy !req
931. Hey, I never meant
for this to happen, okay?Copy !req
932. I just want to
let you know that.Copy !req
933. I was desperate.Copy !req
934. I just-
I felt so fuckin' powerless.Copy !req
935. You are not powerless,
Brodie.Copy !req
936. You can still stop this.Copy !req
937. I know you can.Copy !req
938. What was that, guys?Copy !req
939. Shit.Copy !req
940. There's something in there.Copy !req
941. Which one of you cuntsCopy !req
942. wants to be
skull-fucked first?Copy !req
943. No.Copy !req
944. You.Copy !req
945. - No, no, not me!
- I need my skull for exams!Copy !req
946. Sacrifice is a noble act,
you know.Copy !req
947. Fucking old bastard.Copy !req
948. Oh my God.Copy !req
949. Did you miss me?Copy !req
950. I thought you were
off to the lookoutCopy !req
951. to watch the town burn?Copy !req
952. Realized I couldn't
leave my mate in the shit.Copy !req
953. Not with all these
demons to mega-kill.Copy !req
954. Metalheads stick together,
right?Copy !req
955. Whoa, wait.Copy !req
956. You decided that you
wanted to help us,Copy !req
957. and then you went
and applied makeup?Copy !req
958. Well, how long did that take?
What 10, 15 minutes?Copy !req
959. It's not makeup,
it's fucking corpse paint.Copy !req
960. For going into battle?Copy !req
961. Okay-Copy !req
962. Well, you look adorable.
It really brings out your eyes.Copy !req
963. What's the plan?Copy !req
964. Okay. I get my guitar.Copy !req
965. You guys get me to the amps.
Cover me.Copy !req
966. But she ripped up the pages.Copy !req
967. Do you really think you can
play it from memory?Copy !req
968. I have to try.Copy !req
969. One more thing...Copy !req
970. can you quickly
pull me off?Copy !req
971. Oh right.Copy !req
972. - De caelo laceri.
- Lacerato horrorem.Copy !req
973. Metal up your ass,
motherfucker!Copy !req
974. Ah!Copy !req
975. No!Copy !req
976. Where's Dion?Copy !req
977. Well, he was
right behind us.Copy !req
978. He must have got lost.Copy !req
979. There's only a few
fucking rooms.Copy !req
980. Dion!Copy !req
981. Fuck!Copy !req
982. Giles!Copy !req
983. Hurry, Brodie.Copy !req
984. Trying-Copy !req
985. Kill them all!Copy !req
986. It's three AM.Copy !req
987. - Aeloth!
- Come in to me!Copy !req
988. Fill me with your power!Copy !req
989. So much power!Copy !req
990. This is fucking brutal.Copy !req
991. What?Copy !req
992. Oh fuck.Copy !req
993. You know, I'm not even sure
I'm in the right tuning.Copy !req
994. So, dude, I'm thinking
about doing a BurzumCopy !req
995. and starting my own
solo project.Copy !req
996. Medina!Copy !req
997. Run! Run!Copy !req
998. I mean, you and
the rest of the bandCopy !req
999. are just dead weight.Copy !req
1000. - Dude, zip up your fly.
- I can see your dong.Copy !req
1001. What?Copy !req
1002. You don't get it, do you?Copy !req
1003. You can't stop me.Copy !req
1004. I'm gonna destroy
this world of shit,Copy !req
1005. one maggot at a time.Copy !req
1006. Medina!Copy !req
1007. Look at it this way...Copy !req
1008. you're about to lose five kgs
without a crash diet.Copy !req
1009. Fuck it.Copy !req
1010. - No, no, no, no.
- That's not gonna work.Copy !req
1011. You have to play
The Black Hymn, fuckin' idiot.Copy !req
1012. Zakk.Copy !req
1013. Thanks, man.Copy !req
1014. The metal brought me back.Copy !req
1015. I'm trying to hold him off.Copy !req
1016. He's gonna destroy
everything.Copy !req
1017. Dude, fight it.Copy !req
1018. You've got to be strong.Copy !req
1019. I mean, you're the
strong one, remember?Copy !req
1020. - I can't.
- He's too powerful.Copy !req
1021. Finish me.Copy !req
1022. Quickly. Before Aeloth
takes over again.Copy !req
1023. Man, I can't, I can't.Copy !req
1024. - You have to do it.
- There's no other way.Copy !req
1025. Send him back to Hell.Copy !req
1026. Do it!Copy !req
1027. Brotherhood of Steel, dude.Copy !req
1028. Brotherhood of Steel forever.Copy !req
1029. I don't know, I just...Copy !req
1030. I can't stand mic cupping.Copy !req
1031. Cannibal Corpse do it.Copy !req
1032. - No.
- Barnes used to do it.Copy !req
1033. Fisher...Copy !req
1034. it's straight from the guts.Copy !req
1035. Shit,
did I just get schooled?Copy !req
1036. I'm a very fast learner.Copy !req
1037. How's the tat?Copy !req
1038. Mmm.Copy !req
1039. It's all healed up.Copy !req
1040. I'll see you later.Copy !req
1041. You really
thought this was over?Copy !req
1042. Time to die, Brodie!Copy !req
1043. No, just kidding, dude.Copy !req
1044. Zakk?Copy !req
1045. So what's like being dead?Copy !req
1046. Hell is awesome!Copy !req
1047. Like,
met some music legends:Copy !req
1048. Dio, Kurt Cobain,Copy !req
1049. Dimebag,Copy !req
1050. John Bonham,
Paul McCartney...Copy !req
1051. Oh.Copy !req
1052. Yeah, the true, true Mayhem
have reunited, too.Copy !req
1053. So cold, dude.Copy !req
1054. Fucking brutal as.Copy !req
1055. Anyway, the band.Copy !req
1056. You got to keep playing, dude.Copy !req
1057. Yeah,
but everyone is dead.Copy !req
1058. We can't keep calling
ourselves DEATHGASM:Copy !req
1059. Doesn't feel right.Copy !req
1060. - All right then.
- Well, change it.Copy !req
1061. How about...
Bandsaw Circumcision?Copy !req
1062. lntesticide?Copy !req
1063. What about, like,
Bestiality Bliss?Copy !req
1064. Yeah, how about
Birth Canal Boat Riders?Copy !req
1065. What about
The God Buggerers?Copy !req
1066. How about
David Bain's Scrotum.Copy !req
1067. Anal Bulimia?Copy !req