1. You know that evil
Heavy Metal
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2. that your parents hate
you listening to?
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3. You know those lyrics
about hell and doom,
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4. demons ripping you
new orifices to shit out of?
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5. What if I told you
it's all reel?
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6. I know...
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7. I was there.
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8. - But wait.
- Lets start at the beginning.
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9. It all started in Greypoint,
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10. the middle of ass-fuck nowhere.
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11. I had to shift here
after my mum
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12. went on a massive meth bender,
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13. and tried to suck off
a Santa Claus
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14. in a crowded mall.
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15. Mum got sent to a mental ward
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16. and I got stuck with my uncle.
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17. My Uncle Albert
was balls deep into Jesus.
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18. He thought Ricky Martin
was heavy.
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19. He heard me cranking some
Disembowel/ed Corpse,
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20. and he hasn't slept for days.
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21. I brought about
the end of the world.
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22. Biggest dick move ever.
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23. - Stop struggling.
- Ow.
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24. - It won't fit.
- Ow. Ow.
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25. - Get up there. Oh...
- This is Dion.
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26. And that is probably the
least embarrassing orifice
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27. that dice has been shoved into.
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28. - Wait...
- Yes, it's in!
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29. And this
is my dickhead cousin.
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30. Hey, David...
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31. He's hospitalized
more nerds than asthma.
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32. I saw Uncle Albert washing
your sheets this morning.
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33. You shit the bed or something?
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34. Fuckin' devil-worshiper.
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35. I can't wait until my dad
kicks you out on the streets
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36. and you've got to blow
truck drivers for food
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37. like your psycho mum.
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38. His Mum is a psycho.
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39. Ow.
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40. You all right, man?
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41. Here's your dice.
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42. - It's actually a die.
- Dice is plural.
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43. Um, and it's a D10. But...
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44. Thanks.
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45. - Jesus.
- Who's that?
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46. Oh, Medina Darcy.
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47. Number one cause
of awkward boners in Greypoint.
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48. Ahhh... no, dude.
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49. What do you mean "no"?
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50. No way are you tapping that.
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51. Chicks like that, they don't
go out with metalheads,
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52. they bang apes
like your cousin.
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53. Forget her, man.
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54. At lunchtime,
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55. do you want to do something
completely badass?
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56. And that's...
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57. eight points
of non-lethal damage.
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58. Exceeds your HP;
your cleric is unconscious.
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59. No fucking way.
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60. How is it still breathing?
I cast a fireball.
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61. You cast it at a Fire Troll.
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62. It's immune to fire.
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63. This is bullshit.
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64. Well, that's Giles.
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65. He was once suspended
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66. for violating the
CPR training dummy.
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67. I'm the DM, Giles.
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68. What I say goes, okay?
I am the law.
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69. Yeah, this is
your problem, Dion.
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70. Okay, yeah.
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71. - This is why no woman
will - will talk to you.
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72. Hey, do you know what?
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73. A whole family of goblins
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74. has just amassed around
your dead body.
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75. And one of them
is humping your foot.
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76. How do you like that?
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77. - How - how...
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78. Ah!
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79. Hey.
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80. Fuckin' nerds.
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81. Oh Jesus.
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82. It's piss.
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83. - They - they sprayed us
with piss.
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84. Again!
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85. Oh, the Player's Guide
is totally ruined.
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86. My friends are losers,
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87. my uncle keeps trying
to christen me in my sleep,
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88. and I'm drenched in my
cousin's bodily fluids.
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89. X minus one...
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90. X plus one...
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91. Good work, Brodie.
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92. Nice technique.
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93. Great shading on the
demon penises.
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94. Ah.
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95. Ha, is that me
having hot pokers
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96. stuffed up my rectum
by skeletons?
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97. Yes, sir.
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98. - Mmm.
- Nice likeness.
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99. Very detailed.
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100. Two weeks detention.
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101. Silence!
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102. So, that's me, Brodie.
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103. Thus, X 6, X 5...
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104. Fuck my life.
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105. Fucking late again.
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106. Oh, Christ, it's my
Satanist cousin Brodie.
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107. Look at that ugly loner.
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108. I'm gonna make his life
hell on earth.
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109. - Wow.
- That's really cool, David.
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110. Can you please
take me home now?
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111. I thought we'd take
a drive or something.
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112. Okay,
It's hard to believe,
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113. but talking about bullying
isn't really a turn on.
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114. There was only one
cool thing about Greypoint...
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115. Alien Records.
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116. Byron sold the sickest vinyl,
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117. while his psychic girlfriend,
Abigail,
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118. told fortunes to
bored housewives
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119. Welcome to Alien Records.
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120. How are things, kid?
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121. Things are shitty.
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122. Check it out.
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123. - Oh, Haxan Sword?
- Epic.
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124. Yeah, man.
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125. It's only one of
666 ever printed;
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126. numbered in blood
by Rikki Daggers himself.
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127. Metal vinyl is over there
by that kid.
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128. Fuck, yes.
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129. Now that's a record, man.
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130. Yeah.
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131. I've actually been after
that one for a while.
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132. I'm Brodie, by the way.
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133. Zakk.
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134. After I met Zakk,
my life changed.
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135. My mother was gonna
call me "Storm," though.
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136. Rad.
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137. I know.
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138. He was a
tornado of chaos,
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139. leaving, ah,
a trail of destruction
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140. and teen pregnancies
in his wake.
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141. Zakk got expelled after
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142. stabbing a kid
with a math compass
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143. because he stepped on his
King Diamond tape.
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144. Or was it a setsquare?
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145. He used to help his
Dad at the car workshop.
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146. But mainly he just stole
anything not bolted on
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147. and then unbolted the rest.
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148. Yeah. Fuck you too, Bono.
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149. Hey man...
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150. you want to do
something crazy?
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151. It's not role-playing is it'?
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152. What the fuck
is role-playing?
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153. Zakk played bass
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154. so we started a band.
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155. Hey.
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156. This is, ah, Giles and Dion.
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157. - Hey.
- Hey.
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158. Right, first things first.
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159. What are we called?
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160. Um... Murder Boner?
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161. Toothed Vagina.
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162. Oh, Maggot Sperm.
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163. Cannibal Unicorn.
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164. How about like,
thirteen S's.
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165. You know, like...
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166. Got it. Got it.
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167. All spelled in capitals.
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168. Lower case is for pussies.
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169. Cool. What about...
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170. I fuckin' said...
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171. DEATHGASM!
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172. - Solo!
- Fuckin' shred it!
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173. Dude, I thought you said
you could play.
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174. Sorry.
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175. Ah... I can. I can.
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176. I'm just - I'm -
I'm just rusty.
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177. All right. From the top.
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178. - What?
- Just mixing it up.
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179. Where are we going?
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180. It's a surprise.
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181. What's the hell is that for?
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182. - Dude, chill out.
- It's fine.
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183. - All right.
- You stay here.
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184. You're lookout.
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185. What?
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186. Shit.
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187. Zakk?
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188. Zakk?
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189. Oh shit!
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190. Did you shit yourself?
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191. Nice surprise.
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192. - Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- You're an accomplice, mate.
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193. Don't puss out on me now.
Come on.
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194. Check it out.
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195. Oh shit.
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196. Man, these guys were legends
back in the day.
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197. Check it out.
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198. Oh.
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199. Rikki Daggers.
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200. He was a maniac.
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201. Didn't he used to kill
live rabbits on stage
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202. with a crowbar?
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203. - No, man.
- It was a claw hammer.
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204. Wonder what
happened to him?
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205. Spent all his money
on coke,
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206. hookers and Satanist shit.
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207. Last I heard he was
hiding out in some small,
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208. crappy New Zealand town.
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209. No fuckin' way.
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210. Yes fuckin' way.
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211. No fuckin' way.
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212. - Rikki Fuckin'
- Daggers, man.
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213. - Shh.
- Hey, this way.
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214. - Holy fuck.
- Look at those amps.
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215. - Ah, they're old as hell.
- Probably all busted.
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216. Is that...?
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217. It's him.
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218. Is he dead?
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219. I bags that record.
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220. Dude, that's low.
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221. I can go much lower.
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222. Shh.
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223. Come on.
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224. - Check it out.
- No fuckin' way.
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225. Motherfucker!
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226. - Whoa!
- Dude. Dude. Dude.
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227. Dude...
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228. - The record!
- Drop it!
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229. Kick it back.
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230. Right. What the fuck
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231. - Chill.
- Are you two cunts...
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232. doing in my house?
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233. - Let's get out of here.
- Come on.
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234. Don't you fuckin' move.
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235. Aeon sent you,
didn't he?
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236. When are you
occultist cunts
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237. ever gonna fuckin learn?
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238. - No, we're just - we're just
metalheads.
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239. We're fans.
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240. Well, how did you find me?
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241. Latest Death Scream, dude.
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242. You were outed.
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243. Oh fuck.
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244. Fuck!
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245. We're all gonna die.
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246. Shit, someone's coming!
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247. Here. Take it.
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248. Take it!
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249. Hide it and guard it
with your life.
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250. Come on, let's bail.
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251. - Let's bail.
- Fuck.
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252. So you fuckers
finally found me.
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253. Where is it, Daggers?
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254. Who were you talking to?
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255. I heard voices.
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256. Why don't you go home
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257. and tell Aeon
to fuck himself!
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258. It's a trap.
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259. Well, go on then,
do it, you fuckin' pussy!
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260. Well, that was fucked up.
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261. Dude, what the hell?
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262. It's a fucking
Rick Astley record!
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263. Fuck.
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264. What the hell was that?
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265. Weird.
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266. It's music.
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267. Can you read it?
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268. - Yeah, I think so.
- It's pretty universal.
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269. It's really old.
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270. Holy fuck.
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271. Look at the title.
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272. What the fuck does it say?
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273. Don't know,
I think it's Latin.
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274. What, like,
Dora the fuckin' Explorer?
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275. No. Like, like,
Romans and shit.
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276. - Dude...
- We should learn this;
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277. turn it into a
DEATHGASM song!
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278. It'll be fuckin' brutal.
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279. You want a beer?
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280. Ah, yeah.
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281. Vadin.
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282. - I found Daggers.
- Straight to it'?
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283. Not even a,
"How are things, Aeon?"
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284. You're direct.
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285. I've always liked
that about you.
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286. Aeon, the pages.
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287. The Black Hymn, Vadin.
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288. Pages are just paper.
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289. The Black Hymn
is absolute power
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290. Please, give it the
reverence it deserves.
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291. Daggers didn't have it,
The Black Hymn.
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292. I think someone
got to it before us.
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293. Oh.
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294. That's a shame.
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295. There was a break in.
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296. The pages should be
in Greypoint somewhere.
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297. I just need more time.
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298. Winners don't make excuses
for their failures, Vadin.
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299. They learn from them.
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300. No. Please.
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301. Take his fucking head off.
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302. No!
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303. Oh, come on,
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304. that's a custom made
Sartori rug! Idiots!
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305. You put a tarp down first.
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306. Do it again.
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307. Again!
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308. Do it again!
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309. That's good.
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310. Yeah, I think that worked.
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311. Get the car.
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312. We're heading into Greypoint.
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313. - Zakk - Zakk, that's good.
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314. Urn, Brodie,
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315. can - can you put your
foot up on that tree?
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316. Yeah.
But - but higher?
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317. Higher.
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318. This is retarded.
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319. Our - our instruments
aren't even plugged in.
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320. Where the fuck is the sound
supposed to be coming from?
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321. Trust me.
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322. This is gonna be
off the hook.
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323. Yeah, yeah.
No, that's good.
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324. Um, let's - let's head
to the next location.
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325. Fuck you, Dion.
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326. Does anybody want
anything from the shop?
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327. Condoms, Vaseline,
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328. jumper cables
and ammonium nitrate.
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329. I don't think they sell
that combination of things.
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330. See... Oh!
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331. Sony
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332. Sorry.
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333. There you go.
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334. Could I please have
my tampon?
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335. Yeah sure.
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336. Thanks.
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337. You're Brodie, right?
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338. Yeah.
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339. I'm Medina,
from maths class.
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340. Right, you're David's
girlfriend, right?
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341. You know what,
I was gonna get an ice cream.
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342. Did you want one?
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343. Ah, yeah.
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344. Ah, yeah. I was just
helping these guys, urn...
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345. - Ah, we're - we're
all done here,
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346. dude, ah, catch you later.
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347. Yeah, that'd be great.
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348. Cool.
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349. Sperminate her, dude!
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350. So, um, the other day,
in maths...
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351. ah, Mr Capenhurst
is such a dick.
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352. - Yeah.
- Yep.
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353. I, um, I saved this.
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354. Well,
I rescued it from the bin.
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355. You're a really good drawer,
like, really talented.
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356. I wish I could draw like that.
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357. Okay-
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358. Thank you.
Thanks.
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359. - You know, I was -
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360. I was thinking about
getting a tattoo
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361. it would drive my dad crazy.
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362. I should get you
to design it.
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363. Maybe that's lame.
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364. No, of course.
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365. I mean, of course
I would help you design it.
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366. Not, "Of course
I think it's lame."
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367. Okay-
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368. You know, I was thinking
about getting it just, urn...
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369. just here.
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370. Yes...
good spot for it.
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371. - Or - or maybe here,
on my upper thigh.
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372. - Yeah, yeah.
- Yes, yeah.
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373. Either - I mean, again,
both great areas - places.
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374. And hard decision.
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375. So...
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376. So, you're in a band?
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377. Yeah, I, um, I play,
ah, the guitar.
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378. I mean, axe.
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379. Um, do you,
do you like metal?
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380. Um, isn't it just a bunch
of guys screaming?
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381. No way.
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382. Well, apart from grindcore.
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383. And... death metal
is kind of like that.
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384. And deathcore, screamo,
pornogrind,
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385. black metal, mathcore,
thrash and mordorcore.
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386. - But apart from those.
- Mmm.
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387. It's just not my thing.
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388. I don't really get it.
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389. It's like,
when life sucks,
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390. and - and you feel alone
and empty.
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391. You stick on some metal
and life is better, because -
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392. because somebody else
knows the pain and -
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393. and the rage that you're
going through, you know?
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394. Urn, I'll - I'll -
I'll lend you a CD.
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395. You should - you should
have a - have a listen.
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396. Ah...
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397. Oh.
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398. Ah, Anal Cunt.
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399. Ah, ah...
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400. This one.
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401. Awesome.
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402. Ah, these are really,
really old.
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403. How are they not
in a museum?
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404. Where did you say you
got these again, dude?
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405. - I, um...
- Found them...
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406. In a skip.
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407. I'm warning you, Brodie.
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408. Stop that devil music now.
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409. Shit, man.
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410. Laters, bud.
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411. Dude, you choked again.
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412. Sorry, I, ah,
started panicking.
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413. You ever
had that feeling
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414. where you can't breathe?
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415. Like there's a crushing
weight on your chest,
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416. and the room gets
really small
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417. and your heart starts
beating insanely fast?
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418. No, never had that.
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419. Oh, although this one time,
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420. this chick grabbed
my nuts too hard,
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421. and my splooge
came out red.
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422. Brotherhood of Steel?
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423. Brotherhood of Steel.
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424. Laters.
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425. Whoa.
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426. The expression
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427. Three A plus two B
over two.
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428. When A equals three
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429. and B equals four.
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430. Anyway, three A
plus two B equals two.
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431. Then A equals three.
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432. B equals four.
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433. Hey, cuz.
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434. The fuck do you want?
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435. Fuck.
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436. Get him.
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437. Fuck off, David.
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438. What are you gonna do
about it, fudge packer?
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439. Tell my dad?
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440. He hates you, too.
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441. Fuck.
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442. You go near my bitch again
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443. and I'll punch you in the
dick every morning.
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444. Fucktard.
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445. Rip Brodie's girlie
earring out.
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446. No.
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447. No! No, no, no...
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448. - Come on.
- Lay into him.
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449. Are you stealing petrol?
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450. - No.
- I'm stealing diesel.
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451. Well, don't you feel guilty?
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452. - No.
- Hold that.
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453. - You're Zakk right?
- Brodie's friend?
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454. He - do you know
where he is?
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455. He skipped class
this afternoon.
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456. Brodie?
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457. Oh yeah. He lost his dick in
a freak bandsaw accident.
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458. Tragic.
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459. Okay...
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460. Urn... Well...
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461. Can you give him this?
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462. Oh.
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463. Don't read it.
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464. Zakk?
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465. Where's Brodie?
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466. He told me to
pass on a message.
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467. He's not interested.
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468. He's got other shit
going on.
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469. Oh.
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470. Well, that's shit.
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471. Yeah...
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472. well, I thought I'd
come down and tell you.
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473. Save up waiting all night,
freezing your tits off, eh?
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474. Thank you for considering
the well-being of my tits.
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475. You're welcome.
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476. Here.
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477. You're freezing.
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478. Swig?
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479. Helps take the
bullshit away.
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480. Fuck it.
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481. His mum is a psycho...
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482. Are you gonna tell us
who gave you the shiner?
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483. Won't matter soon.
Copy !req
484. Let's just fuckin' do this.
Copy !req
485. Dude, you know
I have your back.
Copy !req
486. Tell me who they are,
I'll fuck them up.
Copy !req
487. I'm fine.
Copy !req
488. All right. Well, if they
give you anymore shit,
Copy !req
489. I know a trick, all right?
Copy !req
490. Point down at their zipper,
and say,
Copy !req
491. "Ooh gross,
your cock is hanging out."
Copy !req
492. And then when they
look down... Boom!
Copy !req
493. You punch them in the face.
Copy !req
494. My dad taught me that.
Copy !req
495. All right, ladies.
From the top.
Copy !req
496. Goddamn,
I have the worst headache.
Copy !req
497. Were we asleep?
Copy !req
498. Amps are buggered.
Copy !req
499. Guys...
Copy !req
500. Guys, do I look different?
Copy !req
501. More, like... more powerful?
Copy !req
502. You could be
weaker than before.
Copy !req
503. Something fucked up happened.
Copy !req
504. Man, my head is throbbing.
Copy !req
505. Something went wrong.
Copy !req
506. It didn't work.
Copy !req
507. What are you
talkin' about, dude?
Copy !req
508. Wouldn't it be crazy if-
Copy !req
509. if the music had something
to do with demons?
Copy !req
510. Demons?
Copy !req
511. Demons?
Copy !req
512. Demons? What?
Copy !req
513. Fuck!
Copy !req
514. What do you want,
asshole?
Copy !req
515. Can you hear the trumpets,
Brodie?
Copy !req
516. They're getting louder.
Copy !req
517. The Blind One is coming.
Copy !req
518. He's going to suck out
your intestines
Copy !req
519. for a thousand years
Copy !req
520. and use your ribs
as toothpicks.
Copy !req
521. Urn... okay.
Copy !req
522. Did I mention
Copy !req
523. he's going to roast your
nuts over an open fire?
Copy !req
524. While they are still attached,
of course.
Copy !req
525. - Ah. No, Terry.
- You didn't mention that.
Copy !req
526. Well, he is.
Copy !req
527. Mr Capenhurst,
are you okay?
Copy !req
528. Oh my God.
Copy !req
529. Oh my God.
Copy !req
530. There was just
blood everywhere,
Copy !req
531. from every hole.
Copy !req
532. It was crazy.
Copy !req
533. Weird.
Copy !req
534. Yeah, it was mental, man.
Copy !req
535. Medina, too. Just-
just totally ignored me.
Copy !req
536. Did she say why?
Copy !req
537. No.
Copy !req
538. Feels like everybody
in my neighborhood
Copy !req
539. has gone insane.
Copy !req
540. This town has always
been fuckin' crazy.
Copy !req
541. Probably the Illuminati,
Copy !req
542. pouring fuckin' fluoride in
the water or something.
Copy !req
543. What the fuck
is that noise?
Copy !req
544. Dad?
Copy !req
545. For fuck's sake.
Copy !req
546. Dad?
Copy !req
547. Dad?
Copy !req
548. Dad, what the fuck
are you doing?
Copy !req
549. Dad?
Copy !req
550. What are you doing?
Copy !req
551. - What's wrong with him?
- Is he drunk?
Copy !req
552. I don't think so.
Copy !req
553. Dad, talk to me.
Copy !req
554. Look, I'm going to take this
t-shirt off your face.
Copy !req
555. Yeah?
Copy !req
556. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah. It's okay.
Copy !req
557. Fuck!
Copy !req
558. What the fuck is he doing?
Copy !req
559. - Holy fuck!
- Whoa!
Copy !req
560. I can see you.
Copy !req
561. Oh fuck!
Copy !req
562. Brutal.
Copy !req
563. Should we check his pulse?
Copy !req
564. He has a fucking
engine for a head.
Copy !req
565. I don't think he's gonna be
walking this one off, man.
Copy !req
566. Shit.
Copy !req
567. Your Dad, I'm... Fuck.
I'm really sorry.
Copy !req
568. Fuck!
Copy !req
569. You know,
it's weird but
Copy !req
570. I think he would've
wanted to go out like this.
Copy !req
571. His eyes ripped out,
face grinded off,
Copy !req
572. and then head mounted
under a car engine?
Copy !req
573. Totally.
Copy !req
574. For whom the bell tolls,
old man.
Copy !req
575. Oh fuck.
Copy !req
576. Fuck!
Copy !req
577. Dude, dude,
I am so sorry.
Copy !req
578. Fuck, man,
this is all my fault.
Copy !req
579. Okay. Fuck.
I translated those pages,
Copy !req
580. and - and - and
they were to do with -
Copy !req
581. with summoning demons, okay?
Copy !req
582. And now people
are turning crazy.
Copy !req
583. Like, possessed crazy.
Copy !req
584. You knew that was
some black magic shit
Copy !req
585. and you didn't fuckin' tell me?
Copy !req
586. I didn't want you
to think I was crazy.
Copy !req
587. It's a bit fuckin' late now,
isn't it'?
Copy !req
588. This is fucking twisted, man.
Copy !req
589. Fuckin' demons?
Copy !req
590. - Abigail.
- Fuckin' Abigail.
Copy !req
591. You know, the - the chick from
the - from the record store,
Copy !req
592. the psychic chick.
Copy !req
593. She knows all about this stuff.
Copy !req
594. We should go see her.
Copy !req
595. - The lights are on.
- They could still be here.
Copy !req
596. Well, I'm out of ideas.
Copy !req
597. Jesus!
Copy !req
598. These things suck.
Copy !req
599. What are you... hey!
What are you doing?
Copy !req
600. Who brings a dice purse
Copy !req
601. to a demon
apocalypse anyway?
Copy !req
602. How do we stop
these things?
Copy !req
603. Shit.
Copy !req
604. - Medina!
- What's up?
Copy !req
605. - Sweet axe skills.
- Thanks.
Copy !req
606. I wanted to come up with,
like, a one-liner like,
Copy !req
607. "You were axing for this"
or something.
Copy !req
608. That would be really cool,
right?
Copy !req
609. That was pretty cool as is.
Copy !req
610. I mean, the axe, and the...
Copy !req
611. Yeah.
Copy !req
612. Fuckin' awesome.
Copy !req
613. Abigail, we need to get
you to a hospital, okay?
Copy !req
614. It's too late.
Copy !req
615. It has possessed
their bodies.
Copy !req
616. Whoa.
Copy !req
617. Is that Satan?
Copy !req
618. That is Aeloth,
King of the Demons.
Copy !req
619. Aeloth?
Copy !req
620. Sounds like a badass.
Copy !req
621. These words
were in music pages.
Copy !req
622. The Black Hymn.
Copy !req
623. You have it.
Copy !req
624. Have it'?
Copy !req
625. We fuckin' played it.
Copy !req
626. Well, then you
have fucked us all.
Copy !req
627. The possessed bodies,
they kill all in their path
Copy !req
628. in preparation for
Aeloth's ascension
Copy !req
629. on the next blood moon.
Copy !req
630. On the Devil's Hour.
Copy !req
631. Oh shit,
the moon is red tonight.
Copy !req
632. When is the Devil's Hour?
Copy !req
633. Three AM.
Copy !req
634. Wait.
Copy !req
635. Three AM Pacific
or Eastern time?
Copy !req
636. Do demons recognize
daylight savings?
Copy !req
637. When Aeloth returns,
his soul will fuse
Copy !req
638. with that of a darkest
human host.
Copy !req
639. How can we stop him?
Copy !req
640. Do you still have
the Black Hymn?
Copy !req
641. Yeah, it's back at my Uncle's.
Copy !req
642. Well, then we can...
Copy !req
643. Oh shit!
Copy !req
644. Ah!
Copy !req
645. Have you guys
seen Brodie tonight?
Copy !req
646. Everyone I've seen is either
dead or psycho-ed.
Copy !req
647. No sign.
Copy !req
648. Ah, hey,
Copy !req
649. my Dad said we should
head to the school
Copy !req
650. in an emergency.
Copy !req
651. It's, um, Greypoint's
civil defense centre.
Copy !req
652. He's a warden.
Copy !req
653. I mean, was until he...
got possessed and...
Copy !req
654. ate Mum's skin off.
Copy !req
655. Dude, are you still
going on about that?
Copy !req
656. It was hours ago!
Get the fuck over it!
Copy !req
657. Let's head to the school.
Copy !req
658. We're not gonna
survive out here.
Copy !req
659. Oh, wait a sec.
Copy !req
660. Oh God.
Copy !req
661. Let's hope the demons
can%read, eh?
Copy !req
662. You ready?
Copy !req
663. Let's go.
Copy !req
664. We need you to destroy
the Vocavitque Rex Daemonia.
Copy !req
665. Destroy it?
Copy !req
666. We came here to get it.
Copy !req
667. Those who performed
the Black Hymn
Copy !req
668. may try to reverse it
before Aeloth's ascension.
Copy !req
669. Can't you destroy it?
Copy !req
670. No!
Copy !req
671. Only those who still have a
soul can touch the pages.
Copy !req
672. I do not.
Copy !req
673. I have one condition.
Copy !req
674. I want to become
Aeloth's vessel.
Copy !req
675. It has to be me.
Copy !req
676. His soul will bind with the
blackest human soul nearby,
Copy !req
677. a soul that will not
resist his power.
Copy !req
678. You! No! Please!
Copy !req
679. No!
Copy !req
680. Now who doesn't
have a gag reflex?
Copy !req
681. I pledge allegiance
to Aeloth the Blind.
Copy !req
682. Kill anyone
who gets in your way.
Copy !req
683. You will be rewarded
with more power
Copy !req
684. than you can imagine.
Copy !req
685. Find Brodie.
He is the key.
Copy !req
686. Before she died,
Copy !req
687. Abigail was trying
to tell us something.
Copy !req
688. Maybe...
Copy !req
689. Okay...
Copy !req
690. Okay, we're gonna go back
to my place, all right?
Copy !req
691. We're gonna get my guitar,
and the pages.
Copy !req
692. I'm gonna try and play
this song backwards,
Copy !req
693. Rob Halford style, man.
Copy !req
694. I mean,
it makes sense, right?
Copy !req
695. Reverse all this shit?
Copy !req
696. Fuck that.
Copy !req
697. This town is shit.
Copy !req
698. We're going up to the lookout,
rolling a three-skinner,
Copy !req
699. cranking some Slayer
Copy !req
700. and watching this town burn
to the fuckin' ground!
Copy !req
701. Dude, what about Medina,
Giles and Dion?
Copy !req
702. They could all still be alive.
Copy !req
703. Those guys are dicks.
Copy !req
704. Medina is never gonna
put out for you, man.
Copy !req
705. You're never gonna get to
second base with that girl.
Copy !req
706. What?
Copy !req
707. You know. Anal.
Copy !req
708. Okay-
Copy !req
709. Firstly, I don't want to know
Copy !req
710. what you think forth base is,
all right?
Copy !req
711. But I'm going for
the music pages.
Copy !req
712. Dude, fucking stop.
Copy !req
713. Don't you give a shit
about anyone but yourself?
Copy !req
714. No, I don't.
Copy !req
715. Fuck them.
Copy !req
716. Dude,
I do care about the Holden.
Copy !req
717. Hey, Cocktopus!
You win.
Copy !req
718. I'll take you to do the thing
with the music, or whatever.
Copy !req
719. Dude!
Copy !req
720. Come on. Get in.
Copy !req
721. Come on.
Copy !req
722. Okay,
Copy !req
723. so all the shit
is in my room, all right.
Copy !req
724. But just watch out for
my Aunt and Uncle,
Copy !req
725. because they hate you.
Copy !req
726. And also...
they might be demons.
Copy !req
727. - Right.
- Okay?
Copy !req
728. Oh shit.
Copy !req
729. But they are into
all that God shit, right?
Copy !req
730. They'll be sweet, they'll just
pray themselves to safety.
Copy !req
731. No, no, urn...
Copy !req
732. No, they were at home
when we played the song.
Copy !req
733. Fuck.
Copy !req
734. Look, they definitely
would've heard it, okay?
Copy !req
735. Looks all clear.
I'll get the music.
Copy !req
736. You've been a bad boy,
Brodie.
Copy !req
737. I can taste you from here.
Copy !req
738. Zakk!
Copy !req
739. Fuck!
Copy !req
740. Shit.
Copy !req
741. We need to arm up.
Copy !req
742. - Does your uncle have a gun?
- I doubt it, man.
Copy !req
743. Fuck!
Copy !req
744. Fuck.
Copy !req
745. _ Fuck yes!
Copy !req
746. I bet there are some
crosses in here.
Copy !req
747. Or some bibles we
could bash them with.
Copy !req
748. What the hell?
Copy !req
749. Ah, I think they're, um,
they're rosary beads? Yeah.
Copy !req
750. What part of church do they
crank this bad boy, Brodie?
Copy !req
751. Oh.
Copy !req
752. - Hey, Brodie?
- What?
Copy !req
753. Oh fuck.
Copy !req
754. Why would you do that?
Copy !req
755. It's not working.
Copy !req
756. These are a bit shit.
Copy !req
757. - Hold them off.
- What?
Copy !req
758. Yes.
Copy !req
759. Brodie!
Copy !req
760. No!
Copy !req
761. No!
Copy !req
762. No!
Copy !req
763. No! No! Ah. No!
Copy !req
764. Ah! No!
Copy !req
765. I'm going to eat your soul.
Copy !req
766. Fucking die!
Copy !req
767. No!
Copy !req
768. No! Stop!
Please. No!
Copy !req
769. No.
Copy !req
770. No.
Copy !req
771. What... the fuck?
Copy !req
772. Pretty sure he
wasn't possessed.
Copy !req
773. - What? Oh no.
- Of course he was.
Copy !req
774. Because when he
came in he said,
Copy !req
775. ah, something about Satan.
Copy !req
776. You didn't hear him
say that?
Copy !req
777. Fuck!
Copy !req
778. Hey, the pages
are blowing away.
Copy !req
779. You have to help me...
Copy !req
780. Oh sick, man.
Copy !req
781. What? They were like
that when I found them.
Copy !req
782. - Come on.
- We have to get the music.
Copy !req
783. All right, look,
I'm going to help you do this
Copy !req
784. but only because
you suck at it.
Copy !req
785. Also it's kind of fun
stabbing shit.
Copy !req
786. But we need to get
better weapons.
Copy !req
787. Yeah?
Copy !req
788. Brutal.
Copy !req
789. Brutal as fuck.
Copy !req
790. You're pretty good
at whacking guys off, bro.
Copy !req
791. Did you see that?
Copy !req
792. I'm gonna go check it out.
Copy !req
793. Brodie, you've got
the page, let's go.
Copy !req
794. Brodie!
Copy !req
795. Shit!
Copy !req
796. Medina.
Copy !req
797. Brodie.
Copy !req
798. HEY-
Copy !req
799. HEY-
Copy !req
800. - We're just holed
up in - inside.
Copy !req
801. " We?
Copy !req
802. When Medina was
killing those demons
Copy !req
803. I got a bit of a half-chub.
Copy !req
804. Look, let's get back
to the matter at hand here.
Copy !req
805. Seeing as how you're in an
underground dwarven citadel,
Copy !req
806. it looks as if it has
nested hinges, which are...
Copy !req
807. Oh... Brodie!
Copy !req
808. Told you they'd be okay.
Copy !req
809. No you didn't.
Copy !req
810. You said they were
probably dead already.
Copy !req
811. You wanted dibs
on his guitar.
Copy !req
812. Ow.
Copy !req
813. I found these guys
outside your house.
Copy !req
814. You were looking for us?
Copy !req
815. - Of course.
- Ah, you got our note, right
Copy !req
816. No. I didn't see any note.
Copy !req
817. Oh.
Copy !req
818. Who would have thought
that Mr Proctor's
Copy !req
819. rock collection would
come in handy?
Copy !req
820. Oh gosh.
Your hand.
Copy !req
821. Oh, ah, it's okay.
Copy !req
822. No.
Copy !req
823. That's Zakk's jacket.
Copy !req
824. When did you get that?
Copy !req
825. He, urn...
Copy !req
826. He lent it to me.
Copy !req
827. He stopped by the other night
to - to tell me that, um...
Copy !req
828. you know, hmm?
Copy !req
829. You weren't interested.
Copy !req
830. What?
Copy !req
831. The note that I gave
Zakk to give to you
Copy !req
832. to meet me at the
park at 9:00.
Copy !req
833. - No.
- I didn't get that note either.
Copy !req
834. So...
Copy !req
835. did you guys hook up?
Copy !req
836. Motherfucker!
Copy !req
837. Brodie, just leave it.
Copy !req
838. - Fuckin' wanker.
- You knew I liked her.
Copy !req
839. Calm the fuck down,
all right?
Copy !req
840. I'm not even into her;
I was just bored.
Copy !req
841. Oh well. That's supposed
to make it fuckin' better?
Copy !req
842. What happened to
Brotherhood of Steel?
Copy !req
843. You know what?
Copy !req
844. Everyone was fuckin'
right about you.
Copy !req
845. - You're a piece of shit.
- Fuck you!
Copy !req
846. You let this happen by being
such an insecure pussy.
Copy !req
847. Yeah, that's right, walk away.
Copy !req
848. Grow some
fucking balls, man.
Copy !req
849. Motherfucker!
Copy !req
850. - You motherfucker.
- You knew I liked her.
Copy !req
851. Save it for the demons,
you two!
Copy !req
852. All right.
Copy !req
853. All right.
Copy !req
854. FUCK you!
Copy !req
855. I never even liked you.
Copy !req
856. Good luck
fighting evil without me.
Copy !req
857. You're all gonna fuckin' die.
Copy !req
858. Death to false metal!
Copy !req
859. I expected this.
Copy !req
860. He's Chaotic Neutral
and you're Lawful Good.
Copy !req
861. Your alignments are
just totally mismatched.
Copy !req
862. How are we gonna
play it backwards?
Copy !req
863. It was hard enough
playing it forwards.
Copy !req
864. Will take a few goes.
Copy !req
865. Well, time isn't
exactly on our side.
Copy !req
866. And another problem:
when we first played the song,
Copy !req
867. everyone in the neighborhood
got possessed first, right?
Copy !req
868. " So?
Copy !req
869. Well, they were all
within earshot.
Copy !req
870. But our amps blew up.
Copy !req
871. Right. Okay, so we need
some serious decibels.
Copy !req
872. Well, does the
school have any?
Copy !req
873. Are you kidding?
Copy !req
874. Our whole music class had
to share the same recorder.
Copy !req
875. I can still taste it.
Copy !req
876. I know a place
that has amps.
Copy !req
877. Big ones.
Copy !req
878. Not sure if they still work,
but it's our only chance.
Copy !req
879. Out there?
Copy !req
880. It's gonna be crazy.
Copy !req
881. And we don't have
a car without Zakk.
Copy !req
882. Zakk can eat my ass.
Copy !req
883. We don't need him.
We can do it on our own.
Copy !req
884. Fuck yeah.
Copy !req
885. Fuck yeah.
Copy !req
886. Let's tear shit up.
Copy !req
887. Shh. Stay low.
Copy !req
888. Come on.
Copy !req
889. - Just chill, all right?
- We're not demons.
Copy !req
890. Drop the weapons.
Copy !req
891. Now.
Copy !req
892. Damn.
Copy !req
893. I can't tell if I have a fear
boner or a boner-boner.
Copy !req
894. - I didn't even say anything.
- Hit him.
Copy !req
895. Listen, just let us go, okay.
Copy !req
896. You don't know
what you're doing.
Copy !req
897. The town is overrun
with fucking demons.
Copy !req
898. We know exactly
what we're doing.
Copy !req
899. Give me the Vogue-catty
queff-wrecks-demony.
Copy !req
900. Um, it's actually pronounced
Vocavitque rex daemonia.
Copy !req
901. That tongue wasn't
meant for Latin.
Copy !req
902. Oh! Come on!
Copy !req
903. - The Black Hymn!
- Where is it?
Copy !req
904. I don't know
what you talking about.
Copy !req
905. - Ah, no.
- Ow.
Copy !req
906. Well?
Copy !req
907. Don't tell this Manson family
cumbucket anything, Brodie.
Copy !req
908. Okay, okay-
Copy !req
909. It's here.
Copy !req
910. No!
Copy !req
911. Tie them up,
take them in the bedroom.
Copy !req
912. They can be a live
offering for Aeloth.
Copy !req
913. - No.
- No, please, let us go.
Copy !req
914. You had your chance.
Copy !req
915. You awakened Aeloth,
Copy !req
916. pleaded with him to take
away your weakness
Copy !req
917. and vanquish your enemies.
Copy !req
918. He would've given you
power, fame, fortune,
Copy !req
919. and any woman you want.
Copy !req
920. But you blew it.
Copy !req
921. Is that true, Brodie?
Copy !req
922. You did all of this for power?
Copy !req
923. - I didn't want this.
- Get them out.
Copy !req
924. - Whoa, whoa, okay.
- Okay, okay.
Copy !req
925. Do you think if we soil
our pants, they'll let us go?
Copy !req
926. I guess we'll find out soon.
Copy !req
927. - ... In sanguine.
- Intra in sanguinem.
Copy !req
928. De caelo laceri.
Lacerato horrorem.
Copy !req
929. Proin cursus meum.
Regnabunt autem in sanguine.
Copy !req
930. Intra in sanguinem...
Copy !req
931. Hey, I never meant
for this to happen, okay?
Copy !req
932. I just want to
let you know that.
Copy !req
933. I was desperate.
Copy !req
934. I just-
I felt so fuckin' powerless.
Copy !req
935. You are not powerless,
Brodie.
Copy !req
936. You can still stop this.
Copy !req
937. I know you can.
Copy !req
938. What was that, guys?
Copy !req
939. Shit.
Copy !req
940. There's something in there.
Copy !req
941. Which one of you cunts
Copy !req
942. wants to be
skull-fucked first?
Copy !req
943. No.
Copy !req
944. You.
Copy !req
945. - No, no, not me!
- I need my skull for exams!
Copy !req
946. Sacrifice is a noble act,
you know.
Copy !req
947. Fucking old bastard.
Copy !req
948. Oh my God.
Copy !req
949. Did you miss me?
Copy !req
950. I thought you were
off to the lookout
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951. to watch the town burn?
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952. Realized I couldn't
leave my mate in the shit.
Copy !req
953. Not with all these
demons to mega-kill.
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954. Metalheads stick together,
right?
Copy !req
955. Whoa, wait.
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956. You decided that you
wanted to help us,
Copy !req
957. and then you went
and applied makeup?
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958. Well, how long did that take?
What 10, 15 minutes?
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959. It's not makeup,
it's fucking corpse paint.
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960. For going into battle?
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961. Okay-
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962. Well, you look adorable.
It really brings out your eyes.
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963. What's the plan?
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964. Okay. I get my guitar.
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965. You guys get me to the amps.
Cover me.
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966. But she ripped up the pages.
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967. Do you really think you can
play it from memory?
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968. I have to try.
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969. One more thing...
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970. can you quickly
pull me off?
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971. Oh right.
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972. - De caelo laceri.
- Lacerato horrorem.
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973. Metal up your ass,
motherfucker!
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974. Ah!
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975. No!
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976. Where's Dion?
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977. Well, he was
right behind us.
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978. He must have got lost.
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979. There's only a few
fucking rooms.
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980. Dion!
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981. Fuck!
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982. Giles!
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983. Hurry, Brodie.
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984. Trying-
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985. Kill them all!
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986. It's three AM.
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987. - Aeloth!
- Come in to me!
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988. Fill me with your power!
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989. So much power!
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990. This is fucking brutal.
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991. What?
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992. Oh fuck.
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993. You know, I'm not even sure
I'm in the right tuning.
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994. So, dude, I'm thinking
about doing a Burzum
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995. and starting my own
solo project.
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996. Medina!
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997. Run! Run!
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998. I mean, you and
the rest of the band
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999. are just dead weight.
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1000. - Dude, zip up your fly.
- I can see your dong.
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1001. What?
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1002. You don't get it, do you?
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1003. You can't stop me.
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1004. I'm gonna destroy
this world of shit,
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1005. one maggot at a time.
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1006. Medina!
Copy !req
1007. Look at it this way...
Copy !req
1008. you're about to lose five kgs
without a crash diet.
Copy !req
1009. Fuck it.
Copy !req
1010. - No, no, no, no.
- That's not gonna work.
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1011. You have to play
The Black Hymn, fuckin' idiot.
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1012. Zakk.
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1013. Thanks, man.
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1014. The metal brought me back.
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1015. I'm trying to hold him off.
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1016. He's gonna destroy
everything.
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1017. Dude, fight it.
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1018. You've got to be strong.
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1019. I mean, you're the
strong one, remember?
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1020. - I can't.
- He's too powerful.
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1021. Finish me.
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1022. Quickly. Before Aeloth
takes over again.
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1023. Man, I can't, I can't.
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1024. - You have to do it.
- There's no other way.
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1025. Send him back to Hell.
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1026. Do it!
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1027. Brotherhood of Steel, dude.
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1028. Brotherhood of Steel forever.
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1029. I don't know, I just...
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1030. I can't stand mic cupping.
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1031. Cannibal Corpse do it.
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1032. - No.
- Barnes used to do it.
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1033. Fisher...
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1034. it's straight from the guts.
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1035. Shit,
did I just get schooled?
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1036. I'm a very fast learner.
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1037. How's the tat?
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1038. Mmm.
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1039. It's all healed up.
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1040. I'll see you later.
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1041. You really
thought this was over?
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1042. Time to die, Brodie!
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1043. No, just kidding, dude.
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1044. Zakk?
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1045. So what's like being dead?
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1046. Hell is awesome!
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1047. Like,
met some music legends:
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1048. Dio, Kurt Cobain,
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1049. Dimebag,
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1050. John Bonham,
Paul McCartney...
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1051. Oh.
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1052. Yeah, the true, true Mayhem
have reunited, too.
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1053. So cold, dude.
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1054. Fucking brutal as.
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1055. Anyway, the band.
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1056. You got to keep playing, dude.
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1057. Yeah,
but everyone is dead.
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1058. We can't keep calling
ourselves DEATHGASM:
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1059. Doesn't feel right.
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1060. - All right then.
- Well, change it.
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1061. How about...
Bandsaw Circumcision?
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1062. lntesticide?
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1063. What about, like,
Bestiality Bliss?
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1064. Yeah, how about
Birth Canal Boat Riders?
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1065. What about
The God Buggerers?
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1066. How about
David Bain's Scrotum.
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1067. Anal Bulimia?
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