1. Dear Evan Hansen...Copy !req
2. Today is going to be an amazing day,Copy !req
3. and here's why.Copy !req
4. Because today,
all you have to do is just be yourself.Copy !req
5. But also confident.
That's-that's important.Copy !req
6. And interesting.
Easy to talk to.Copy !req
7. Approachable.
But mostly just be yourself.Copy !req
8. You know, that's number one, obviously.
Be yourself.Copy !req
9. But, like,
a confident version of yourself,Copy !req
10. like, approachable and interestingCopy !req
11. and not weird or anxious or depressed.Copy !req
12. But you're not weird
or anxious or depressed.Copy !req
13. I don't even know
why you're bringing it up.Copy !req
14. You can't be scared
to talk to other people.Copy !req
15. You said that you'd be better.Copy !req
16. You said this year would be different.Copy !req
17. You're over-thinking it.Copy !req
18. Do you like having no friends?Copy !req
19. All you have to do is just be yourself.Copy !req
20. So you just didn't eat last night?Copy !req
21. I wasn't hungry.Copy !req
22. You're a senior in high school.Copy !req
23. You need to be able
to order dinner for yourself.Copy !req
24. You can do it all online.Copy !req
25. You don't have to talk
to anybody.Copy !req
26. Okay, well, that's not, that's
not true, actually, though,Copy !req
27. because, um, the credit card's
expired, so you have to meetCopy !req
28. the delivery person
at the door, you know?Copy !req
29. You have to pay them
with cash at the door.Copy !req
30. You have to greet them.Copy !req
31. You know, you have
to figure out the right,Copy !req
32. the right, um...
The-the proper greeting.Copy !req
33. Okay.Copy !req
34. This is what you're supposed
to be working on, sweetheart,Copy !req
35. with Dr. Sherman.Copy !req
36. Have you been doing those
letters he wants you to do?Copy !req
37. "Dear Evan Hansen."Copy !req
38. I mean, I've definitely...
I-I've been trying to.Copy !req
39. Those letters are important,
honey.Copy !req
40. You have to keep working.Copy !req
41. We can't go back to where
you were last year, right?Copy !req
42. Um, you have an appointment
this afternoon.Copy !req
43. I'm working till 6:00,Copy !req
44. so you're gonna
have to take the bus.Copy !req
45. Hey.Copy !req
46. I thought you could go aroundCopy !req
47. and ask all the other kids
to sign your cast.Copy !req
48. Perfect icebreaker, right?Copy !req
49. - What happened to your shirt?
- There was a stain on it.Copy !req
50. - Wha... but it's brand-new.
- Yes, I know.Copy !req
51. I was... I'm so mad.Copy !req
52. Evan.Copy !req
53. What?Copy !req
54. It's Zoe MurphyCopy !req
55. in that hot band shirt
you love so much.Copy !req
56. Can you just...
Can you please stop?Copy !req
57. Well, hey,
maybe she's into you, too.Copy !req
58. Maybe you should talk to her,
tell her how you feel.Copy !req
59. I've tried talking to her.Copy !req
60. Really?Copy !req
61. Yes. Yeah, I...Copy !req
62. I stayed afterwards,
um, last yearCopy !req
63. after the spring
jazz band concert,Copy !req
64. but, um, I didn't go up to herCopy !req
65. because I was worried
that my hands were sweaty.Copy !req
66. Which they weren't even,
they weren't even that sweaty.Copy !req
67. I just... I was worried
that they were sweaty,Copy !req
68. and sometimes
worrying that they're sweatyCopy !req
69. makes them sweaty,
so I just went to the bathroomCopy !req
70. and I put 'em under, like,
the hand dryer thing,Copy !req
71. but then they were still sweaty.Copy !req
72. They were just, um...
They were just also warm.Copy !req
73. I was kidding.Copy !req
74. You obviously should not
talk to her.Copy !req
75. You are a literal disaster.Copy !req
76. Go, bobcats!Copy !req
77. Go, bobcats.Copy !req
78. So awesome.Copy !req
79. So awesome, everyone.Copy !req
80. Phenomenal, really.Copy !req
81. You know what's not phenomenal?Copy !req
82. Deforestation.Copy !req
83. So, what happened
to your arm exactly?Copy !req
84. Um, I was climbing a tree,
and I fell.Copy !req
85. It was stupid.Copy !req
86. You fell out of a tree?
What are you, five?Copy !req
87. Well, um...Copy !req
88. So, actually,
I-I worked this summerCopy !req
89. as an apprentice park ranger
at Ellison state park.Copy !req
90. It's a funny story,
though, because...Copy !req
91. There was, like, this solid
ten minutes after I fellCopy !req
92. where I just lay there
on the ground,Copy !req
93. um, waiting for someone
to come get me, you know?Copy !req
94. I was like, "any second now."
You know?Copy !req
95. I just kept... I, like...
I was saying to myself,Copy !req
96. "any second now.
Here they come." So...Copy !req
97. Did they?Copy !req
98. No, nobody came.Copy !req
99. That's the, um...
That's what's funny.Copy !req
100. That's not funny.Copy !req
101. Model U.N...Copy !req
102. Well, anyways, um, how was...
Did you, um...Copy !req
103. How was camp?Copy !req
104. Well, I put on 13 pounds
of pure muscle.Copy !req
105. Also, I hooked up
with this Brazilian dudeCopy !req
106. who is literally a supermodel.Copy !req
107. So, yeah, hope that answers
your question.Copy !req
108. So let's have mother nature's
back so that she'll have ours.Copy !req
109. Yeah! Yeah!Copy !req
110. All right, thank you, Alana.
Very inspirational.Copy !req
111. All right,
so let's have a great year,Copy !req
112. and, uh, go, bobcats!Copy !req
113. Hey, um...Copy !req
114. Would you want to sign my cast?Copy !req
115. Uh, you could,
you could be the first.Copy !req
116. Why would I do that?Copy !req
117. Well, I just... I thought, um,
because we're friends and...Copy !req
118. We're family friends, Evan.Copy !req
119. That's an entirely
different thing.Copy !req
120. Please respect that.Copy !req
121. Connor, I'm loving
this manicure.Copy !req
122. - Very school shooter chic.
- You're such an idiot.Copy !req
123. That is so not...Copy !req
124. You think that's funny?Copy !req
125. What? No. Not-not at all.Copy !req
126. Then stop laughing!Copy !req
127. Hey.Copy !req
128. I'm sorry about my brother.Copy !req
129. He's a psycho.Copy !req
130. Evan, right?Copy !req
131. Evan?Copy !req
132. That-that's your,
that's your name?Copy !req
133. Y-Yeah, it is. It is. Sorry.Copy !req
134. It's Evan. It's Evan. I'm sorry.Copy !req
135. Why are you sorry?Copy !req
136. 'Cause you s-s... you said Evan,
and then I said it, you know?Copy !req
137. I just repeated it,
which is, um...Copy !req
138. That's just really annoying
when people do that, so...Copy !req
139. I'm Zoe.Copy !req
140. Sorry.
I should... I think... sorry.Copy !req
141. Dear Evan Hansen,Copy !req
142. turns out this wasn't
an amazing day after all.Copy !req
143. This isn't gonna be an
amazing week or an amazing yearCopy !req
144. because why would it be?Copy !req
145. Oh, I know. Because there's Zoe.Copy !req
146. Who I don't even know
and who doesn't know me, but...Copy !req
147. Maybe if I did, maybe if
I could just talk to her,Copy !req
148. maybe things would be better.Copy !req
149. Or...Copy !req
150. Maybe nothing would be
different at all.Copy !req
151. I wish everything was different.Copy !req
152. I wish I was different.Copy !req
153. I wish I was part of something.Copy !req
154. I wish that anything I said
mattered to anyone.Copy !req
155. But it doesn't,
and it never did.Copy !req
156. And it never will.Copy !req
157. I mean, face it, would anyone
even notice if I just...Copy !req
158. Disappeared tomorrow?Copy !req
159. Sincerely, your best
and most dearest friend,Copy !req
160. me.Copy !req
161. Hey.Copy !req
162. What happened to your arm?Copy !req
163. I was climbing a tree,
and I fell.Copy !req
164. You fell out of a tree?Copy !req
165. That's the saddest thing
I've ever heard.Copy !req
166. I know.Copy !req
167. S-Sorry, um, I think I
accidentally printed something.Copy !req
168. Yeah, we're all waiting.Copy !req
169. Um, no one signed your cast.Copy !req
170. No, I-I know.Copy !req
171. I'll sign it.Copy !req
172. Oh, you don't...
You really don't have to...Copy !req
173. Do you have a sharpie?Copy !req
174. Oh, um, I don't. Shoot.Copy !req
175. Oh, here's one.Copy !req
176. Nice.Copy !req
177. Wow, that's great.Copy !req
178. Now we can both pretend
we have friends.Copy !req
179. Uh, "dear Evan Hansen."
Here you go.Copy !req
180. Y-Yeah, that's mine.
That's mine.Copy !req
181. - I'll... I can take it, sorry.
- "Because there's Zoe..."Copy !req
182. Is this about my sister?Copy !req
183. What? No, no.
Who's-who's your sister?Copy !req
184. - You wanted me to find this?
- What?Copy !req
185. You saw I was here,
so you started writing thisCopy !req
186. - and you started talking to me.
- No.Copy !req
187. No, you started talking to me.Copy !req
188. So that I would read
some creepy shitCopy !req
189. about my sister
and freak out, right?Copy !req
190. - Why would I do that?
- So then you can tell everyoneCopy !req
191. that I'm crazy. Right?Copy !req
192. - Right?
- Gentlemen!Copy !req
193. No, I really...Copy !req
194. Look, I really need that back,
so can...Copy !req
195. Look, can you please
just give it back?Copy !req
196. Just-just please don't
show it to anyone.Copy !req
197. Connor!Copy !req
198. Come on.Copy !req
199. Shit, shit.Copy !req
200. Hi.Copy !req
201. Hi, honey. I'm so sorry.Copy !req
202. Erica called in at the
last minute with a stomach bug,Copy !req
203. and there's only
one other nurse on tonight,Copy !req
204. so I-I volunteered
to take her shift.Copy !req
205. I hope you weren't
waiting for me to eat.Copy !req
206. - No, I already ate.
- Um, it's just they, uh,Copy !req
207. they announced
more budget cuts this morning,Copy !req
208. so anything I can do to showCopy !req
209. that I'm a team player,
you know?Copy !req
210. - How was your day?
- Fine.Copy !req
211. It was, it was pretty good.Copy !req
212. Yeah? You know, I-I texted
with Meera this morning,Copy !req
213. and she said that Jared wasCopy !req
214. really looking forward
to seeing you and reconnecting.Copy !req
215. I thought that was nice.Copy !req
216. Yeah, he's so nice.Copy !req
217. - How was Dr. Sherman?
- Pretty good.Copy !req
218. Any change to your meds?Copy !req
219. Um, no.Copy !req
220. Oh, god, here he comes.
Um, all right, I-I-I...Copy !req
221. All right, love you. Bye.Copy !req
222. Okay, I love you...Copy !req
223. Too.Copy !req
224. A letter to yourself.
I mean, what is that,Copy !req
225. like some kind of sex thing?Copy !req
226. No. No, it's not a sex thing.Copy !req
227. It's... it was an assignment
from my therapist.Copy !req
228. Ew. Why-why are you
telling me this?Copy !req
229. Well, I didn't know
who else to tell.Copy !req
230. You're my only f...
family friend.Copy !req
231. Oh, that's sad.Copy !req
232. Look, Connor isn't here
again today.Copy !req
233. That's-that's
three days in a row.Copy !req
234. And h-he hasn't done anything
with it yet, you know,Copy !req
235. like put it online or whatever,Copy !req
236. because I've-I've been checking.Copy !req
237. So, you know, maybe he just...
Maybe he forgot, right?Copy !req
238. Right. Right.Copy !req
239. Or maybe he didn't,Copy !req
240. because he's definitely
gonna put it online.Copy !req
241. Dude, Connor Murphy is batshit.Copy !req
242. Don't you remember when
he threw a printer at Mrs. GCopy !req
243. in the second grade because
he couldn't be line leader?Copy !req
244. Like, he was seven.Copy !req
245. Just imagine
what he's capable of now.Copy !req
246. Evan Hansen, please reportCopy !req
247. to Mr. Howard's office.Copy !req
248. Oh, damn.Copy !req
249. Evan.Copy !req
250. Connor Murphy's mother and
stepfather are here to see you.Copy !req
251. They want to speak in private.Copy !req
252. Hi.Copy !req
253. Hello.Copy !req
254. Why don't you go ahead, honey.Copy !req
255. I'm going as fast as I can.Copy !req
256. Well, that's not
what I said, is it?Copy !req
257. This is...Copy !req
258. Connor wanted you to have this.Copy !req
259. Yeah, we didn't know
you were friends.Copy !req
260. Oh, well, we didn't thinkCopy !req
261. Connor had any friends,
frankly, and...Copy !req
262. And then we see this note,
and it seems to suggestCopy !req
263. pretty clearly that
you and Connor were, uh...Copy !req
264. Or at least for Connor...Copy !req
265. "Dear Evan Hansen."
He addressed it to you.Copy !req
266. He wrote it to you.Copy !req
267. These are the words that
he wanted to share with you.Copy !req
268. His last words.Copy !req
269. Connor took his own life.Copy !req
270. He what?Copy !req
271. This is all we found with him.Copy !req
272. He had it folded up
in his pocket.Copy !req
273. But this is...Copy !req
274. I'm sorry, Connor didn't...
He...Copy !req
275. He didn't write this.Copy !req
276. Connor didn't,
Connor didn't write this.Copy !req
277. What-what does that mean?Copy !req
278. Well, he's obviously in shock.Copy !req
279. - I mean, if Connor didn't write this...
- I'm so sorry.Copy !req
280. Can I just...
I should probably go, please.Copy !req
281. No, you don't understand.
This is all that we have.Copy !req
282. This is the only thing
that we have left.Copy !req
283. - Cynthia, listen to me.
- No. No. Don't-don't go.Copy !req
284. Okay, then you take it.
Please take it, okay?Copy !req
285. No. No, don't go.Copy !req
286. Don't. Please stay. Please.Copy !req
287. His best
and most dearest friend.Copy !req
288. That's-that's Connor.Copy !req
289. Connor Murphy.Copy !req
290. Holy shit.Copy !req
291. They invited me for dinner.Copy !req
292. They want to know more stuff
about Connor and me,Copy !req
293. about our... friendship.Copy !req
294. - A-And you said yes?
- I froze.Copy !req
295. Well... what are you
gonna tell them?Copy !req
296. I mean, the truth.Copy !req
297. I-I don't know, man.Copy !req
298. I mean, are you really
gonna tell these peopleCopy !req
299. that the only thing
they have left of their sonCopy !req
300. is a sex letter
that you wrote to yourself?Copy !req
301. Hey.Copy !req
302. I'm so sorry.Copy !req
303. What the hell was that?Copy !req
304. I don't know.Copy !req
305. Oh, my god,
they were so sad, his parents.Copy !req
306. I mean, his-his mom was just...Copy !req
307. I've never seen anyone
so sad before.Copy !req
308. I have to tell them.Copy !req
309. You're early.Copy !req
310. Oh. S-Sorry.Copy !req
311. Sit.Copy !req
312. I hope you're hungry.Copy !req
313. So...Copy !req
314. You and Connor.Copy !req
315. You probably spent
a lot of time together, I bet.Copy !req
316. So, um, not...Copy !req
317. Not really, actually.Copy !req
318. - Uh, the thing is that I...
- We looked through his phone.Copy !req
319. His texts, emails.Copy !req
320. We didn't find anything
from you.Copy !req
321. Yeah, no, I know.Copy !req
322. - I know.
- He set up different accounts,Copy !req
323. ones we couldn't find.Copy !req
324. He knew you read his emails.Copy !req
325. Well, somebody had to be
the bad guy.Copy !req
326. Well, if you did have anyCopy !req
327. emails or conversations
between the two of you,Copy !req
328. we'd love to see anything.Copy !req
329. - Well...
- Yeah, it's-it's weird.Copy !req
330. Th-the only time
I saw you two together wasCopy !req
331. when he was screaming in
your face at school last week.Copy !req
332. He was screaming at you?Copy !req
333. Yeah, yeah, um...Copy !req
334. Well, that wasn't very nice.Copy !req
335. Well, Connor wasn't very nice,
so that actually makes sense.Copy !req
336. I think that everybody
at this table can agreeCopy !req
337. that Connor was, um...Copy !req
338. A complicated person.Copy !req
339. No, he was a bad person.Copy !req
340. - Zoe, please.
- Don't pretend like you don't agree with me.Copy !req
341. You refuse to remember
any of the good things.Copy !req
342. Because there were
no good things.Copy !req
343. What-what were the good things?Copy !req
344. I'm not having this conversationCopy !req
345. - in front of our guest.
- No, tell us the good things.Copy !req
346. What were the good things?Copy !req
347. - Family day at sunny Glen?
- Zoe!Copy !req
348. This is not the time.Copy !req
349. Who knew rehab
could be so much fun?Copy !req
350. There were good things.Copy !req
351. I'm not the only one.Copy !req
352. You remember, right?Copy !req
353. Right.Copy !req
354. Of course.Copy !req
355. Yes, of course
there were good things.Copy !req
356. Tell us something.Copy !req
357. Please, Evan.Copy !req
358. Right, um...Copy !req
359. S... uh, Connor and I...Copy !req
360. Uh, I d... I don't know, um...Copy !req
361. We had a really great...Copy !req
362. We had a really great time
together, um...Copy !req
363. This one day recently.Copy !req
364. That's something good,
um, that I remember.Copy !req
365. That day.Copy !req
366. Yeah, that awesome day at the...Copy !req
367. Um, trees.Copy !req
368. - Trees?
- Never mind, never mind.Copy !req
369. I'm sorry, I don't, I don't...
I shouldn't have said anything,Copy !req
370. and I-I knew it was stupid,
so I'm sorry...Copy !req
371. You don't mean the orchard,
do you?Copy !req
372. He took you to the apple orchard?Copy !req
373. - When?
- Uh, once.Copy !req
374. Just-just once. That once.Copy !req
375. I thought that place closed
years ago.Copy !req
376. Well, the hiking trails are
still open though, aren't they?Copy !req
377. We used to go to the orchard
all of the time.Copy !req
378. We'd do picnics there.Copy !req
379. Do you remember that, Zoe?Copy !req
380. Yeah, I do.Copy !req
381. And you and Connor would fly
that little toy planeCopy !req
382. until you crashed it
into the creek.Copy !req
383. That was an emergency landing.Copy !req
384. I can't believe
that he took you there.Copy !req
385. I bet you had fun.Copy !req
386. I bet the two of you... I...Copy !req
387. I bet that was fun.Copy !req
388. Yeah.Copy !req
389. We did. We did.Copy !req
390. The whole day.Copy !req
391. Uh, it-it was just...Copy !req
392. What was the name of that
ice cream place that we loved?Copy !req
393. Gifford's?Copy !req
394. A la mode.Copy !req
395. That's it. A la mode.Copy !req
396. And they had
this homemade hot fudge.Copy !req
397. And we'd sit in that Meadow
by the pine trees,Copy !req
398. and you and your brother would
look for four-leaf clovers.Copy !req
399. I'd completely forgotten
about that place.Copy !req
400. Well, I guess Connor didn't,
did he?Copy !req
401. He's come to get me.Copy !req
402. Thank you, Evan.Copy !req
403. Thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you.Copy !req
404. I mean,
they think you were lovers.Copy !req
405. - You realize that, right?
- Oh, my god.Copy !req
406. I thought you were gonna
tell them the truth.Copy !req
407. I-I-I tried, but then I just...Copy !req
408. I got nervous
and I started talking.Copy !req
409. And then once I started,
I just...Copy !req
410. Couldn't stop.Copy !req
411. They didn't want me to stop.Copy !req
412. What else did you say to them?Copy !req
413. Uh, his mom thinks that
we wrote emails to each other.Copy !req
414. Oh, perfect.Copy !req
415. Sh-she thinks he had,
like, secret accounts.Copy !req
416. Ha, yes. Secret email accounts.Copy !req
417. That's what all the cool kids are doing.Copy !req
418. Hansen! Kalwani!Copy !req
419. Pick it up!Copy !req
420. - No, thank you.
- What was that?Copy !req
421. I said thank you
for the encouragement!Copy !req
422. Fascist.Copy !req
423. She wants to see the emails.Copy !req
424. And now you want me to make
a bunch of fake emails for you.Copy !req
425. - Classic.
- You know how to do that?Copy !req
426. - It's simple coding.
- But you failed coding.Copy !req
427. If you consider
a d-minus failing.Copy !req
428. Just so we're clear,Copy !req
429. I charge a minimum
of two grand per email,Copy !req
430. and that is a floor,
not a ceiling.Copy !req
431. - $2,000?
- 500.Copy !req
432. I didn't even ask for your help.Copy !req
433. 250, bottom line.
Take it or leave it.Copy !req
434. I could probably
give you 20 bucks.Copy !req
435. Fine, but I'm not gonna act
like I'm happy about it.Copy !req
436. Why would you write that?Copy !req
437. I'm just trying
to make it erotic.Copy !req
438. Look, if you can't
take this seriously, then...Copy !req
439. Ugh, calm yourself, honey.Copy !req
440. I just want to get this
over with.Copy !req
441. - "Bad"?
- Has been rough.Copy !req
442. - Kinky.
- Please stop.Copy !req
443. - Very specific.
- Shut up.Copy !req
444. "Smoking drugs"?Copy !req
445. Just fix it!Copy !req
446. Are we done?Copy !req
447. Well, I mean, I can't
just show them one email.Copy !req
448. I want to show that I was,
like, a good friend.Copy !req
449. That I was trying
to help him, you know?Copy !req
450. Oh, my god.Copy !req
451. No.Copy !req
452. - What the hell?
- My bad.Copy !req
453. I can't remember the last time
that I heard him laugh,Copy !req
454. but the two of them,
if you read these...Copy !req
455. I think if you could take
ten minutesCopy !req
456. and actually read
these emails...Copy !req
457. I'm looking at them right now.Copy !req
458. Zoe. Look what Evan sent us.Copy !req
459. They're emails
from your brother.Copy !req
460. I printed them out.Copy !req
461. Oh. Take that, trees.Copy !req
462. - How was school?
- Terrific.Copy !req
463. All of a sudden,
people I've never metCopy !req
464. want to be my best friend.Copy !req
465. I'm the dead kid's sister,
didn't you know?Copy !req
466. I'm sure they mean well.Copy !req
467. I'm sure they don't.Copy !req
468. She needs time.Copy !req
469. No, Larry,
she needs her parents.Copy !req
470. Enjoy the game.Copy !req
471. Can I come in?Copy !req
472. You don't have to stop playing.Copy !req
473. How was band?Copy !req
474. You know, he-he talks about
you playing guitar,Copy !req
475. in one of his emails, at
the spring concert last year.Copy !req
476. Really?Copy !req
477. Yeah.Copy !req
478. Does he, does he talk aboutCopy !req
479. when he disappeared
for two days?Copy !req
480. But then he called me and
asked me to come pick him up.Copy !req
481. He wanted to come home,Copy !req
482. but he wasn't ready
to talk to you yet,Copy !req
483. so I took the bus all the way
downtown to get him,Copy !req
484. and guess what.Copy !req
485. All he really wanted was money.Copy !req
486. And I gave it to him
because I was 12.Copy !req
487. He was struggling.Copy !req
488. How about the time he tried
to punch through my door,Copy !req
489. screaming at
the top of his lungs,Copy !req
490. saying he was gonna kill me
for no reason?Copy !req
491. Is that email in there?Copy !req
492. We're all grieving
in our own way.Copy !req
493. You might consider reading
these when you're ready.Copy !req
494. They might help
more than you think.Copy !req
495. They did a whole thing
about them on NPR yesterday,Copy !req
496. these-these essay contests.Copy !req
497. And if you win,Copy !req
498. it doesn't count against
any financial aid.Copy !req
499. You know, so $5,000 here
or $3,000 there.Copy !req
500. It adds up, and we're gonna needCopy !req
501. all the help we can get
with college.Copy !req
502. I mean, unless your stepmother
has some trust fund for youCopy !req
503. that I don't know about
with all those fabulous tipsCopy !req
504. - she made cocktail waitressing.
- Huh.Copy !req
505. Right?Copy !req
506. I got a...Copy !req
507. I got an email
from your school yesterday,Copy !req
508. um, about that boy
that-that killed himself.Copy !req
509. Connor Murphy?Copy !req
510. Yeah.Copy !req
511. I didn't really know him, so...Copy !req
512. You know, if you ever
want to talk about anything...Copy !req
513. You know, I mean, I mean,
I know that latelyCopy !req
514. it feels like
I'm-I'm always working.Copy !req
515. - It's fine.
- But I'm-I'm-I'm here,Copy !req
516. and if I... if I'm not here,
I'm just a phone call awayCopy !req
517. or an email or a text,
you know, whatever.Copy !req
518. I know.Copy !req
519. It says "Connor" on your cast.Copy !req
520. No, no, yeah. Um...Copy !req
521. - You said you didn't know him.
- Sorry, I didn't.Copy !req
522. It's in memory, so, like...Copy !req
523. Y-You know,
kids are, like, um...Copy !req
524. They're writing
his name on-on...Copy !req
525. Lockers and stuff like that.Copy !req
526. That's lovely.
You know, in memory.Copy !req
527. Hey.Copy !req
528. Tuesday. What are you doing?Copy !req
529. When's the last time
we did taco Tuesday?Copy !req
530. That'd be great.Copy !req
531. Really?Copy !req
532. Yeah.Copy !req
533. So the memorial's
really just an opportunityCopy !req
534. for all of us to come together
as a communityCopy !req
535. and to remember Connor
and celebrate who he was.Copy !req
536. Would you want to speak
or perform?Copy !req
537. I didn't really know him.
I'm sorry.Copy !req
538. - That's okay.
- Bye.Copy !req
539. Want a wristband?Copy !req
540. Oh, yes. Yeah. Okay.Copy !req
541. Thank you.Copy !req
542. You were friends
with him, right?Copy !req
543. I saw him sign your cast
in the library,Copy !req
544. and you started arguing
about something.Copy !req
545. - Were you friends with him?
- We weren't close.Copy !req
546. We presented together o-on
Huck Finn in the tenth grade,Copy !req
547. but he probably didn't
tell you that.Copy !req
548. Um, no, no, I didn't know.Copy !req
549. I always really liked him.Copy !req
550. It seemed like
he didn't really careCopy !req
551. what anyone else thought, and...Copy !req
552. I thought
that was pretty remarkable.Copy !req
553. Well, I'm putting together
a memorial for himCopy !req
554. at school on Friday.Copy !req
555. If you wanted to do something...Copy !req
556. Sorry, I-I...Copy !req
557. I-I probably w-would
rather not, if that's okay.Copy !req
558. Yeah, sure.Copy !req
559. If you change your mind...Copy !req
560. Just text me.Copy !req
561. Okay.Copy !req
562. Mom.Copy !req
563. My mom realized
we were out of ice cream,Copy !req
564. so they went to go get more.Copy !req
565. Did you park in the driveway?Copy !req
566. 'Cause if you park on the
street, they'll ticket you.Copy !req
567. The people in this neighborhood
are monsters.Copy !req
568. Um, no, I didn't,
I didn't, um...Copy !req
569. I took the bus.
My mom needed the car for work.Copy !req
570. - What about your dad?
- My dad.Copy !req
571. Um, he lives in Colorado, so...Copy !req
572. He left when I was seven.Copy !req
573. That sucks.Copy !req
574. Mine died when I was one, so...Copy !req
575. I sort of win.Copy !req
576. - Sorry.
- Thanks.Copy !req
577. It's fine.Copy !req
578. I-I don't even really
remember him, to be honest.Copy !req
579. Connor did, though, a little.Copy !req
580. That's terrible.Copy !req
581. Yeah.Copy !req
582. And then Larry showed up,
fixed everything.Copy !req
583. For a while, at least.Copy !req
584. Yeah.Copy !req
585. Most people, with Connor,
they just would've been like,Copy !req
586. "see ya," but he's the only dad
we ever really knew, so...Copy !req
587. Wow, your mom...
I didn't, I didn't realize.Copy !req
588. Yeah, well.Copy !req
589. She's in total denial now.Copy !req
590. So is Larry.Copy !req
591. I mean, he didn't even cry
at the funeral.Copy !req
592. I'm sorry.Copy !req
593. Not as sorry as you're gonna be.Copy !req
594. - Oh, is-is that the...
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
595. Gluten-free apple pie? You bet.Copy !req
596. It-it looks...Copy !req
597. Inedible?Copy !req
598. It is.Copy !req
599. Just be glad we get to have
real ice cream.Copy !req
600. My mom was Buddhist last year,Copy !req
601. so we couldn't have
any animal products.Copy !req
602. She was b... um, Buddhist
last year but not this year?Copy !req
603. Yep.
That's sort of what she does.Copy !req
604. She gets into
a lot of different things.Copy !req
605. For a while, it was Pilates.Copy !req
606. The secret.Copy !req
607. Buddhism. Et cetera.Copy !req
608. It's cool that she's interested
in so much different stuff.Copy !req
609. Yeah, she's not, though.Copy !req
610. That's just what happens
when you're richCopy !req
611. and you don't have a job.Copy !req
612. You get a little crazy.Copy !req
613. Well, my mom always saysCopy !req
614. it's better to be rich
than poor, so...Copy !req
615. Yeah, well, your mom's
probably never been rich, then.Copy !req
616. Yeah, you've probably
never been poor.Copy !req
617. Oh, my god, I can't believe
I just said that.Copy !req
618. I'm so sorry.Copy !req
619. Wow. I didn't realizeCopy !req
620. you were capable of saying
something that wasn't nice.Copy !req
621. I'm n... I'm not.
I'm really sorry.Copy !req
622. You really don't
have to keep saying that.Copy !req
623. Okay.Copy !req
624. You want to say it again.Copy !req
625. Yeah, very much so, I do.Copy !req
626. Why did he write that...Copy !req
627. In his note?Copy !req
628. "Because there's Zoe.Copy !req
629. And I don't even know her, but
if I could just talk to her..."Copy !req
630. Honestly, I really don't know.Copy !req
631. What does any of that
even mean? I mean...Copy !req
632. We weren't close at all.Copy !req
633. Not since we were kids.Copy !req
634. He never noticed anything
about me.Copy !req
635. That's not true.
That's not true.Copy !req
636. He-he-he noticed
a lot of things about you.Copy !req
637. Like what things?Copy !req
638. Right.Copy !req
639. No, no, no.Copy !req
640. That's, um...Copy !req
641. Well...Copy !req
642. Okay, w... okay.Copy !req
643. Here's something. Um...Copy !req
644. Whenever you have, uh,
a solo in-in jazz band,Copy !req
645. you just... you close your e...Copy !req
646. You probably don't even know
you're doing this,Copy !req
647. but you close your eyes,
um, and you get, like...Copy !req
648. I don't know,
it's like a half smile,Copy !req
649. like you just heard the
funniest thing in the world,Copy !req
650. but it's a secret and
you can't tell anyone about it.Copy !req
651. But then...Copy !req
652. Uh, the way that you smile,
it's sort of like you are...Copy !req
653. You're letting us in
on the secret, too.Copy !req
654. I-I do that ironically.Copy !req
655. Did he say anything else?Copy !req
656. About you?Copy !req
657. N-Never mind.
I don't even care, all right?Copy !req
658. Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
He said so many things.Copy !req
659. I'm trying to... I'm just...Copy !req
660. I'm trying to remember
the best ones, so...Copy !req
661. No fucking way.Copy !req
662. Hello.Copy !req
663. - Oh, sorry.
- Uh...Copy !req
664. Oh, you beat us.Copy !req
665. Um, Zoe, can you help serve?Copy !req
666. - Yeah.
- Larry, get the plates.Copy !req
667. Can I do anything?Copy !req
668. No, no, no.
You're the guest. You sit down.Copy !req
669. We asked if they had
any soy ice cream,Copy !req
670. but the guy at the store said
there was just no "whey," so...Copy !req
671. When are you gonna
give up that joke?Copy !req
672. I think never, actually.Copy !req
673. You don't have to
laugh at that. Please don't.Copy !req
674. I'm sorry, but there's no wayCopy !req
675. you'd ever be able
to tell in a million yearsCopy !req
676. that this was gluten-free.Copy !req
677. Mom, come on. Look at it.Copy !req
678. A million years is, uh...
That's a lot of years.Copy !req
679. Do you see
what I have to deal with?Copy !req
680. I'm glad you're here.Copy !req
681. "The Connor project."Copy !req
682. So, it's a student group
dedicated toCopy !req
683. mental health awareness,
outreach and education.Copy !req
684. Uh, great.
This is... it's great.Copy !req
685. You know the Murphys, right?Copy !req
686. I was wondering ifCopy !req
687. you would reach out to them
and get their blessing.Copy !req
688. Oh, well, I don't...
I-I don't, I don't, um...Copy !req
689. You want to help the Murphys?Copy !req
690. And all the other people
who might need it,Copy !req
691. like people like Connor.Copy !req
692. Or...Copy !req
693. People like us.Copy !req
694. "People like us"?Copy !req
695. Yes, right, because
we have so much in common.Copy !req
696. What?Copy !req
697. Well, you're, like,
the presidentCopy !req
698. of a m-million different groups
at school,Copy !req
699. and you're, like,
part of every single activity.Copy !req
700. And you're, you know, and I'm...Copy !req
701. Um, I am not.Copy !req
702. What do you take?Copy !req
703. Okay, I'll go first.Copy !req
704. I'm on Lexapro, ten milligrams.Copy !req
705. Well, I'm-I'm on Zoloft.Copy !req
706. Uh, and Wellbutrin.Copy !req
707. And, um...Copy !req
708. Ativan as needed.Copy !req
709. Depression? Anxiety?Copy !req
710. Yeah.Copy !req
711. Yeah, me, too.Copy !req
712. Some days, it's just like, um...Copy !req
713. It's like, um...Copy !req
714. Impossible?Copy !req
715. - Yeah.
- Yeah.Copy !req
716. You know, you don't
really act like a...Copy !req
717. Depressed sort of person.Copy !req
718. I'm just good
at staying anonymous.Copy !req
719. Same as you.Copy !req
720. There are a lot of people
who feel like us.Copy !req
721. People that you wouldn't think.Copy !req
722. Go, bobcats!Copy !req
723. "The Connor project"?Copy !req
724. Yeah, so it's a student groupCopy !req
725. dedicated to
keeping Connor's memory alive.Copy !req
726. Um, making sure
people that need help,Copy !req
727. they have somewhere they can go.Copy !req
728. I didn't realize Connor meant
this much to people.Copy !req
729. Well, it's all... I mean,
it was all Alana's idea.Copy !req
730. She thought of the whole thing.Copy !req
731. That's the young womanCopy !req
732. who organized
the memorial tomorrow.Copy !req
733. Well, she seems like...Copy !req
734. - Quite a force.
- Yeah.Copy !req
735. Um, anyways, um...Copy !req
736. We just wanted to do something.Copy !req
737. It's-it's r-really cool.Copy !req
738. There's something
I want to show you.Copy !req
739. Sure.Copy !req
740. Oh, here we go.Copy !req
741. It's a bit of a mess, I know.Copy !req
742. We still haven't decided what
to do with, um, everything.Copy !req
743. He used to write songs.Copy !req
744. Or at least he told us he did.Copy !req
745. He refused to play for us,
so who knows?Copy !req
746. He never played any for you?Copy !req
747. No, he di... he didn't.Copy !req
748. He... no. I'm sorry.Copy !req
749. Here it is.Copy !req
750. It's a...Copy !req
751. When Connor entered
seventh grade,Copy !req
752. all of my girlfriends said,Copy !req
753. "here it comes,
bar mitzvah season.Copy !req
754. He's gonna have a different
party every Saturday."Copy !req
755. And Larry was so excited
to take him shopping.Copy !req
756. He dragged him
to Brooks brothers,Copy !req
757. and they picked out a suit,
some shirts and this tie.Copy !req
758. He looked... just like his dad.Copy !req
759. He never got invited
to a single party.Copy !req
760. He was such a sweet boy
underneath it all.Copy !req
761. Everything just hurt too much.Copy !req
762. I thought that, uh, you could
wear this to the memorial.Copy !req
763. For your speech.Copy !req
764. Oh, I'm not... I-I...Copy !req
765. I wasn't...
I'm-I'm not speaking.Copy !req
766. Why not?Copy !req
767. Well, I...
I just don't think, um...Copy !req
768. I mean, most people
think that I'm...Copy !req
769. Not that cool of a person,Copy !req
770. so nobody wants to hear from me.Copy !req
771. Well, if...Copy !req
772. That's what most people think...Copy !req
773. It sounds like most people
don't know you very well.Copy !req
774. They didn't know Connor either.Copy !req
775. They never bothered.Copy !req
776. You can tell them
what they missed.Copy !req
777. You're so handsome.Copy !req
778. I'm so glad
you changed your mind.Copy !req
779. Today is a day of remembrance
and reflection.Copy !req
780. It sucks he isn't here
to see this.Copy !req
781. The first person
we'll hear from this morningCopy !req
782. is Evan Hansen.Copy !req
783. Uh, good morning, s...Copy !req
784. Holy shit.Copy !req
785. Sorry.Copy !req
786. Sorry.Copy !req
787. Good morning,
students and faculty.Copy !req
788. I would like to say
a few words to you today...Copy !req
789. About my friend...Copy !req
790. My best friend, Connor Murphy.Copy !req
791. Holy shit.Copy !req
792. I would like to tell you
about the day that Connor and ICopy !req
793. went hiking behind the old
Autumn smile apple orchard.Copy !req
794. We found a huge oak tree.Copy !req
795. Connor said that he wondered
what the world would look likeCopy !req
796. from all the way up there,
so we decided to find out.Copy !req
797. We started climbing slowly.Copy !req
798. And then,
when I finally looked back,Copy !req
799. we were already
30 feet off the ground.Copy !req
800. Um, Connor just looked at me...Copy !req
801. And smiled
that way he always did.Copy !req
802. Um, and then...Copy !req
803. Sorry. Then I fell.Copy !req
804. I-I lay there
on the ground and...Copy !req
805. Good morning,
students and f-f... faculty.Copy !req
806. Sorry, that...Copy !req
807. Sorry, that's the wrong...Copy !req
808. But, see, the thing is, when
I looked up, Connor was there.Copy !req
809. That's the gift he gave me.Copy !req
810. To show me
th-that I wasn't alone.Copy !req
811. Um, nobody is.Copy !req
812. That's-that's the gift
that he gave all of us.Copy !req
813. I just wish...Copy !req
814. I wish we could've
given that to him.Copy !req
815. So...Copy !req
816. Have you seen this?Copy !req
817. People started sharing it,Copy !req
818. and now, I mean,
it's everywhere.Copy !req
819. This morning, it only had,
like, 30 views.Copy !req
820. Well, how many does it have now?Copy !req
821. 723.Copy !req
822. 2,326 views.Copy !req
823. 14,359.Copy !req
824. I don't understand
what happened.Copy !req
825. You did.Copy !req
826. Oh, my god.Copy !req
827. Everybody needs to see this.Copy !req
828. - I can't stop watching this video.
- 17 years old.Copy !req
829. - Take five minutes.
- It'll make your day.Copy !req
830. Share it
with the people you love.Copy !req
831. - Repost.
- The world needs to hear this.Copy !req
832. Beautiful tribute.Copy !req
833. I know someone who really
needed to hear this today.Copy !req
834. So thank you, Evan Hansen,
for doing what you're doing.Copy !req
835. I never met you, Connor,
but coming on here,Copy !req
836. reading everyone's posts...Copy !req
837. Evan is exactly right.
We are not alone.Copy !req
838. We are not alone.Copy !req
839. None of us.Copy !req
840. None of us are alone.Copy !req
841. - Like. - Forward.
- Especially now,Copy !req
842. with everything you hear
on the news.Copy !req
843. - Like. - Share.
- Repost. - Forward.Copy !req
844. Thank you, Evan Hansen,Copy !req
845. for giving us a space
to remember Connor.Copy !req
846. - Thanks to Evan.
- To be together.Copy !req
847. - Thanks for helping my mom.
- Thank you for helping my mom.Copy !req
848. Thank you, Evan Hansen.Copy !req
849. - Sacramento.
- Michigan.Copy !req
850. Thank you, Evan.Copy !req
851. This is about community
and friendship.Copy !req
852. - Thank you, Evan.
- Thank you.Copy !req
853. Thank you, Evan Hansen.Copy !req
854. Hey.Copy !req
855. What's wrong?Copy !req
856. Everything you said
in your speech.Copy !req
857. Everything you've done.Copy !req
858. You don't know how much...Copy !req
859. You've given all of us.Copy !req
860. My family.Copy !req
861. Me.Copy !req
862. No.Copy !req
863. No, I...Copy !req
864. You've given me my brother back.Copy !req
865. Welcome to the first
official meetingCopy !req
866. of the Connor project.Copy !req
867. Right?Copy !req
868. Um, now, as you all know
from Evan's speech,Copy !req
869. uh, Connor's favorite place
in the entire worldCopy !req
870. was the Autumn smile
apple orchard.Copy !req
871. I am beyond excited
to announce that,Copy !req
872. in addition to our support
groups, we will be launchingCopy !req
873. a kickstarter campaign to raise
$100,000 to reopen and redesignCopy !req
874. Autumn smile as the
Connor Murphy memorial orchard.Copy !req
875. Um, so to explain what we're
going to be asking of you,Copy !req
876. I'm gonna turn things overCopy !req
877. to our director
of global communications.Copy !req
878. Thanks, Alana.Copy !req
879. So great.Copy !req
880. Our new website is now live.Copy !req
881. If you have not yet readCopy !req
882. the emails
between Evan and Connor...Copy !req
883. Oh, you're gonna want
to grab some tissues.Copy !req
884. I swear, I've got
a Cal Ripken here somewhere.Copy !req
885. Look at that, hmm?Copy !req
886. The entire '96 team.Copy !req
887. There's three hall of famers
on there.Copy !req
888. - Wow.
- You get the right people,Copy !req
889. baseball fans,
uh, you could raiseCopy !req
890. at least a few hundred bucks
for the orchard,Copy !req
891. maybe a couple thousand.Copy !req
892. Yeah, but...Copy !req
893. I mean, you should, you should
probably keep all this stuff.Copy !req
894. Oh, uh, it's just gonna
sit here gathering dust.Copy !req
895. Uh, stiff as a board, isn't it?Copy !req
896. Yeah.Copy !req
897. Well, it's never been used.Copy !req
898. Connor...Copy !req
899. He loved baseball.Copy !req
900. When he was little.Copy !req
901. First time I met him, uh...Copy !req
902. Cynthia wasn't sure how the
kids would react, all right?Copy !req
903. She was terrified.Copy !req
904. And I was terrified.Copy !req
905. I mean...Copy !req
906. Five minutes in...Copy !req
907. Connor's,
like, pulling my arm, uh...Copy !req
908. "Come on, let's go play catch."Copy !req
909. He...Copy !req
910. I bought that... I don't know...
Two years ago.Copy !req
911. I thought, you know,
maybe we could...Copy !req
912. So stupid.Copy !req
913. He was really lucky
to have a step...Copy !req
914. To have a dad like you.Copy !req
915. Your dad must feel
pretty lucky to...Copy !req
916. Have a son like you.Copy !req
917. Yeah, he does.Copy !req
918. You know, I-I saw
the strangest thingCopy !req
919. - on-on Facebook yesterday.
- Really?Copy !req
920. Um, somebody had a video
of you doing a speech.Copy !req
921. About that boy, Connor Murphy.Copy !req
922. How the two of you
climbed a tree togetherCopy !req
923. at an orchard.Copy !req
924. You told me that you didn't
know him, but in the speech,Copy !req
925. you said that
he was your best friend.Copy !req
926. Right, well...Copy !req
927. 'Cause that wasn't true.Copy !req
928. When I said I didn't know him.Copy !req
929. I thought that
you broke your arm at-at work.Copy !req
930. Okay, well, who do you think
drove me to urgent careCopy !req
931. and-and waited there with me?Copy !req
932. You were at work. You remember?Copy !req
933. I couldn't even... you didn't,
you didn't answer your phone.Copy !req
934. You-you told me
that your boss took you.Copy !req
935. Well, so I lied, obviously.Copy !req
936. So when were you planning
on telling me any of this?Copy !req
937. When would I tell you exactly?
When are you even here?Copy !req
938. - I'm here now.
- Okay.Copy !req
939. You know, I-I-I talked
to Dr. Sherman, and he told meCopy !req
940. - you've been skipping appointments.
- I missed one.Copy !req
941. You know those aren't free.Copy !req
942. Sorry. I'm sorry.Copy !req
943. I'm...Copy !req
944. I'm so happy
you had a friend, sweetheart.Copy !req
945. I'm sorry he's gone.Copy !req
946. I just wish I'd known.Copy !req
947. That speech you gave, it...Copy !req
948. I don't even know what to say.
I'm...Copy !req
949. I'm proud of you.Copy !req
950. Thanks.Copy !req
951. Hi.Copy !req
952. This is a cool surprise.Copy !req
953. Can I get you anything or...?Copy !req
954. Just water.Copy !req
955. - Just water? You're sure?
- Yeah. That's perfect.Copy !req
956. Coming up.Copy !req
957. Where's your mom?Copy !req
958. She works late on Fridays.Copy !req
959. Oh. I wanted to meet her.Copy !req
960. Yeah, that would've been great.Copy !req
961. What's this?Copy !req
962. Oh, it's just my mom is obsessedCopy !req
963. with these college scholarship
essay contests.Copy !req
964. I mean, I'd-I'd-I'd have to win
probably, like, all of themCopy !req
965. to actually pay
for college, so...Copy !req
966. Your parents,
they-they can't...?Copy !req
967. Uh, not really.Copy !req
968. I'm sorry.Copy !req
969. Is your room upstairs?Copy !req
970. Yeah. It's, um...Copy !req
971. Yeah.Copy !req
972. Yeah, so it's, like, a pretty
standard sort of room, I guess.Copy !req
973. So...Copy !req
974. Hey. Oh, um...Copy !req
975. Actually, I meant
to tell you this before.Copy !req
976. Um, so Alana and I
had a really good...Copy !req
977. Um, we had a really good
meeting this morning,Copy !req
978. and I think that...
Y-You probably noticed,Copy !req
979. um, that, uh, you know,
a lot of people were giving,Copy !req
980. uh, during that first week,
which is definitely great,Copy !req
981. but, um, it sort of slowed down
a bit, obviously.Copy !req
982. But Alana and I
are really confidentCopy !req
983. that it's gonna
pick right back up.Copy !req
984. I think it's just a m...
A matter of...Copy !req
985. Can I talk to you
about something?Copy !req
986. Yes.Copy !req
987. The Connor project is...
Awesome.Copy !req
988. It's-it's really, really cool.Copy !req
989. - Thank you.
- It's just that, my whole life,Copy !req
990. everything has been about him.Copy !req
991. And maybe the two of us...Copy !req
992. Maybe we don't have to talk
about my brother all the time.Copy !req
993. Maybe we can...Copy !req
994. Talk about other things.Copy !req
995. I like you.Copy !req
996. And it's not because you were
friends with my brotherCopy !req
997. or because of
the Connor project.Copy !req
998. I like you 'cause...Copy !req
999. You.Copy !req
1000. Well...Copy !req
1001. All right,
let's just start without him.Copy !req
1002. No.Copy !req
1003. I'm famous for doing that.Copy !req
1004. I've been told that many times.Copy !req
1005. Hi, honey.Copy !req
1006. Come join us.Copy !req
1007. - I just put dinner in the oven.
- Hi.Copy !req
1008. She made me swear
to keep it a surprise.Copy !req
1009. I'm surprised.Copy !req
1010. Hi.Copy !req
1011. It's so nice
to finally meet you.Copy !req
1012. - Oh, hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
1013. Yeah, uh, great.Copy !req
1014. It's great.Copy !req
1015. Come on, Evan. Sit.Copy !req
1016. I-I thought that you were
working tonight.Copy !req
1017. Cynthia called
and invited me for dinner,Copy !req
1018. so, you know, I'm playing hooky.Copy !req
1019. We were just discussing
how sneaky you and Connor were.Copy !req
1020. I had no idea that he
and Connor were even friends.Copy !req
1021. Oh, we were the same.Copy !req
1022. You know,
boys love their secrets.Copy !req
1023. Something smells good.
What's for dinner?Copy !req
1024. Oh, it's chicken Milanese,
your favorite.Copy !req
1025. Oh, actually his favorite isCopy !req
1026. my great-grandmother's
black beans.Copy !req
1027. Really?Copy !req
1028. Well, he's the only oneCopy !req
1029. that appreciates
my cooking, so...Copy !req
1030. - That's not true.
- Uh, another drop?Copy !req
1031. Oh, no, no. I'm-I'm fine.
Thank you.Copy !req
1032. Oh, um, fascinating story
about the wine.Copy !req
1033. It's from a vineyard in Napa,Copy !req
1034. and the entire growing process
from start to finish,Copy !req
1035. 100% sustainable.Copy !req
1036. Is that right?Copy !req
1037. Not to mention,
it tastes good, too.Copy !req
1038. - Mm-hmm. It does.
- Mm.Copy !req
1039. You know,
I-I didn't realize, uh...Copy !req
1040. Cynthia and Larry
were telling meCopy !req
1041. that you spend
so much time here.Copy !req
1042. Yeah, I... you've been
working a lot, so...Copy !req
1043. Why did I think
you were at Jared's?Copy !req
1044. I-I don't know.Copy !req
1045. Evan was showing meCopy !req
1046. all of those scholarship
contests that you found.Copy !req
1047. It's really impressive.Copy !req
1048. Well, Evan is a great writer.Copy !req
1049. Well, that does notCopy !req
1050. surprise me at all.Copy !req
1051. His English teacher last year
told me that he wroteCopy !req
1052. one of the best papers
she'd ever read on Sulu.Copy !req
1053. Is that right?Copy !req
1054. - It's Sula.
- What?Copy !req
1055. You said "Sulu." It's Sula.Copy !req
1056. Yeah, I believe Sulu'sCopy !req
1057. a character on Star Trek.Copy !req
1058. My mistake.Copy !req
1059. So, speaking of scholarships...Copy !req
1060. Oh, right, uh...Copy !req
1061. Yeah, well, I guess...Copy !req
1062. Now's as good a time as any.Copy !req
1063. Cynthia, do you want to...?Copy !req
1064. Well, um...Copy !req
1065. Zoe happened to mention that
Evan was having some difficultyCopy !req
1066. in terms of the
financial burden of college.Copy !req
1067. And Larry and I
started thinking,Copy !req
1068. and we've been fortunate enoughCopy !req
1069. to set some money aside
for Connor.Copy !req
1070. Um, I'm good.Copy !req
1071. - I'm okay.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1072. Heidi, with your blessing,
we would like to give EvanCopy !req
1073. the money that we set aside
for our sonCopy !req
1074. so he can fulfill his dreams.Copy !req
1075. Thank you so much...Copy !req
1076. But we're gonna be fine.Copy !req
1077. I don't have a lot of money,
but I-I do have some.Copy !req
1078. No, no, no, no, no.
I didn't mean to intimate...Copy !req
1079. No, no, I understand,
but, um, we do have money,Copy !req
1080. so I'm sorry you were under
the impression that we didn't.Copy !req
1081. And whatever money
we don't have,Copy !req
1082. Evan will either
make up for with a jobCopy !req
1083. or he'll get a scholarship.Copy !req
1084. I don't want my son
to get the idea that it's okayCopy !req
1085. to rely on other people
for favors.Copy !req
1086. - Well, it's not a favor.
- No.Copy !req
1087. But as his mother,
I need to set that example.Copy !req
1088. You can't expect things
from strangers.Copy !req
1089. Oh, we're not strangers.Copy !req
1090. No, of course not.Copy !req
1091. But you're not family either.Copy !req
1092. Mom, just hold on.Copy !req
1093. No, I think
I better get to work,Copy !req
1094. see if I can grab a shift
now that I knowCopy !req
1095. how concerned you are
about our finances.Copy !req
1096. Mom, will you please
come back inside?Copy !req
1097. Oh, my god. Are you kidding me?Copy !req
1098. Will you just
come back inside, please?Copy !req
1099. They think you're their son,
these people.Copy !req
1100. They're not "these people."Copy !req
1101. They don't really know you.Copy !req
1102. Well, they like me.
They like me.Copy !req
1103. I know that that's very hard
for you to believe,Copy !req
1104. that they don't think I'm...Copy !req
1105. You know, that there's
something wrong with me,Copy !req
1106. that I need to be,
like, fixed, like you do.Copy !req
1107. - When have I ever said that?
- Oh, my god.Copy !req
1108. Mom, I-I have to go
to therapy, right?Copy !req
1109. I have to take drugs.
I have to...Copy !req
1110. There's-there's nothing
wrong with that.Copy !req
1111. There-there's nothing wrong
with needing help, honey.Copy !req
1112. Just stop. I know that there is,Copy !req
1113. and I know that I'm a burden,Copy !req
1114. that I'm the worst thing
that ever happened to you,Copy !req
1115. and I just... well, I just
ruined your life, okay?Copy !req
1116. No. You are the best thing.Copy !req
1117. You're the best thing
that's ever happened to me.Copy !req
1118. I'm sorry I can't give you
anything more than that.Copy !req
1119. It's not my fault
if other people can.Copy !req
1120. I'll see you at home.Copy !req
1121. Hi.Copy !req
1122. I'm so sorry.
I meant to be there yesterday.Copy !req
1123. Okay, well, we have two days
left, and we're $25,000 short.Copy !req
1124. Yeah, I just... everything...Copy !req
1125. You're right. I know. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1126. Things have been
really busy, so...Copy !req
1127. I've been wondering something.Copy !req
1128. Were you ever actually
friends with him?Copy !req
1129. What are you talking about?Copy !req
1130. Well, the thing about
the emails, it's just that,Copy !req
1131. like, you and Connor
keep talking aboutCopy !req
1132. climbing this tree together
in June.Copy !req
1133. We were in school in June.Copy !req
1134. You didn't have a cast
until September.Copy !req
1135. Well, uh, you know what?Copy !req
1136. We probably just wrote down
the wrong date or something.Copy !req
1137. It's not just the emails, Evan.Copy !req
1138. You've missed, like,
three meetings in a row.Copy !req
1139. If I were his best friend,Copy !req
1140. I would be doing
everything I could to make sureCopy !req
1141. his dream of rebuilding
the orchard came true.Copy !req
1142. Okay.Copy !req
1143. Look, it's terrible
that people aren't givingCopy !req
1144. as much money
as we hoped they would.Copy !req
1145. It is, but-but it's not like
it's him.Copy !req
1146. You know what I mean?Copy !req
1147. It's-it's just...
It's an orchard, Alana.Copy !req
1148. We have people watching us,Copy !req
1149. hoping...Copy !req
1150. Praying that we can
prove Connor wrong.Copy !req
1151. And if the orchard is
just an empty promise,Copy !req
1152. all of those people will know
that Connor was right.Copy !req
1153. That no one cares.Copy !req
1154. Did you lie to me?Copy !req
1155. Did I lie to all these people?Copy !req
1156. Just go to your email.Copy !req
1157. Another email?Copy !req
1158. It's not...Copy !req
1159. It's not another email.Copy !req
1160. "Dear Evan Hansen..."Copy !req
1161. If we weren't friends,
then he wouldn't...Copy !req
1162. He wouldn't have written
his note to me.Copy !req
1163. Look, only his family
have seen this, okay?Copy !req
1164. You can't, you can't show it
to anybody else, okay?Copy !req
1165. Alana.Copy !req
1166. Okay.Copy !req
1167. He wasn't right.Copy !req
1168. You know that, don't you?Copy !req
1169. Can you imagine?Copy !req
1170. Wh-what's wrong?Copy !req
1171. Yep.Copy !req
1172. Hi.Copy !req
1173. Alana, you have to
take it down, okay?Copy !req
1174. They've been through enough.Copy !req
1175. I took it down already, Evan,
but it-it doesn't matterCopy !req
1176. because it's everywhere.Copy !req
1177. Zoe, it's me.Copy !req
1178. Please call me back, okay?Copy !req
1179. I'm worried about you.Copy !req
1180. They have pictures of us now.Copy !req
1181. Just put it away.Copy !req
1182. "His parents act like
they are bereft,Copy !req
1183. but where were they when
their son was actually alive?"Copy !req
1184. Please stop reading them.Copy !req
1185. - Hey. Is Zoe here?
- She went home.Copy !req
1186. Things really aren't good here.Copy !req
1187. I know. I just... I had to come.Copy !req
1188. Where did they even...
How did they get Connor's note?Copy !req
1189. I don't know.Copy !req
1190. Like, did they hack
our computers?Copy !req
1191. They hacked our emails?
Did... these people are adults.Copy !req
1192. Did you see their pictures?Copy !req
1193. These people are adults.Copy !req
1194. Look, maybe let it ring.Copy !req
1195. I'm sick of hiding. Hello?Copy !req
1196. Yeah, have-have fun
with your miserable life.Copy !req
1197. What did they say?
What's the number?Copy !req
1198. It's blocked.Copy !req
1199. It doesn't...
No, it doesn't matter.Copy !req
1200. That's it.
I'm calling the police.Copy !req
1201. No, look, right now,
maybe the best thing to doCopy !req
1202. is to just stay calm, all right?Copy !req
1203. - And sit...
- That's always your solution, isn't it?Copy !req
1204. Wait and see. Let's just
wait and see, right, Larry?Copy !req
1205. What are the police going to do?Copy !req
1206. It's the Internet. Wh...Copy !req
1207. Are they gonna
arrest the Internet?Copy !req
1208. I had to beg you,
every step of the way,Copy !req
1209. for-for therapy, for-for rehab.Copy !req
1210. What? N-No, no.Copy !req
1211. You went lurching from
one miracle cure to the next...Copy !req
1212. Oh, you're... really?Copy !req
1213. Because all he needed
was another $20,000Copy !req
1214. weekend yoga retreat.Copy !req
1215. What was your alternative,Copy !req
1216. other than picking apart
everything that I did?Copy !req
1217. How about putting him onCopy !req
1218. one program and sticking to it?Copy !req
1219. Remember what he saidCopy !req
1220. the first time that Connor
tried to kill himself?Copy !req
1221. - That he's just looking for attention.
- For Christ's sake.Copy !req
1222. He just wants attention!Copy !req
1223. I'm not gonna sit here
and defend myself!Copy !req
1224. You couldn't understand him.Copy !req
1225. You never understood him
because he wasn't yours!Copy !req
1226. Mom, what the hell?Copy !req
1227. I raised him from the time
he was three years old.Copy !req
1228. He was getting better, and you
refused to see it. Ask Evan.Copy !req
1229. Tell them, Evan.Copy !req
1230. Evan did everything
that he could.Copy !req
1231. Evan? Evan was in denial
of what was happening.Copy !req
1232. Do not bring him into this.Copy !req
1233. Read the note, Larry.Copy !req
1234. Read what he said.Copy !req
1235. "I just wish that everything
was different."Copy !req
1236. I tried.Copy !req
1237. - But he was my son!
- He wanted to be better! - Please.Copy !req
1238. I-I tried everything!Copy !req
1239. Stop it! Just please stop!Copy !req
1240. - Please stop fighting!
- He was trying to be better!Copy !req
1241. He was trying!Copy !req
1242. And he was failing.Copy !req
1243. We failed him.Copy !req
1244. No, you didn't. No, you didn't.Copy !req
1245. You didn't fail him.Copy !req
1246. Read the note.Copy !req
1247. He didn't write it.Copy !req
1248. I wrote it.Copy !req
1249. You didn't write
Connor's suicide note.Copy !req
1250. Um, it was an assignment
from my therapist.Copy !req
1251. Write a letter to yourself,
um, a pep talk.Copy !req
1252. "Evan Hansen, dear Evan Hansen,
today's gonna be a good day.Copy !req
1253. - "Here's why."
- I-I don't, I don't think that...Copy !req
1254. I was supposed to bring it
to my appointment with me,Copy !req
1255. but Connor took it, and then
I guess he must have had itCopy !req
1256. with him, um...Copy !req
1257. When you found him, so...Copy !req
1258. What are you saying?Copy !req
1259. We weren't friends.Copy !req
1260. No.Copy !req
1261. No, no, no, no.Copy !req
1262. There were emails.
You showed us emails.Copy !req
1263. Y-Y-You knew about the orchard.Copy !req
1264. He-he took you to the orchard.Copy !req
1265. That's where you broke your arm.Copy !req
1266. I broke my arm in Ellison park,
um, by myself.Copy !req
1267. But that day at the orchard...Copy !req
1268. You and Connor at the orchard.Copy !req
1269. Oh, god.Copy !req
1270. But you said that you guys
would talk about me.Copy !req
1271. He would...Copy !req
1272. How could you do this?Copy !req
1273. Zoe.Copy !req
1274. I think it's time for you to go.Copy !req
1275. Go away, Evan.Copy !req
1276. It isn't fair, okay?Copy !req
1277. You can't, you can't let peopleCopy !req
1278. just blame you and your parents.Copy !req
1279. They need to know
it was me, okay?Copy !req
1280. I'm the one people should hate.Copy !req
1281. Yeah, well,
we're not telling anyone.Copy !req
1282. Well, that's... I...Copy !req
1283. You can't... you have to.Copy !req
1284. It's not my decision.Copy !req
1285. It's my mom's.Copy !req
1286. She doesn't want
to ruin your life.Copy !req
1287. She's afraid
you'll do something stupid.Copy !req
1288. Like hurt yourself.Copy !req
1289. She said
they already lost one son.Copy !req
1290. Can you just...Copy !req
1291. Leave my family alone, okay?Copy !req
1292. Evan?Copy !req
1293. Evan?Copy !req
1294. Evan?Copy !req
1295. Oh, honey.Copy !req
1296. "Dear Evan Hansen..."Copy !req
1297. You wrote this? Connor's note?Copy !req
1298. I didn't know.Copy !req
1299. No one did.Copy !req
1300. No, honey, that's...Copy !req
1301. That's not what I meant.Copy !req
1302. I didn't know that you were...Copy !req
1303. That you were hurting like that.Copy !req
1304. That you felt...Copy !req
1305. I didn't know.Copy !req
1306. I lied.Copy !req
1307. I lied about so many things.Copy !req
1308. Not just Connor. Um...Copy !req
1309. So, last summer, um...Copy !req
1310. I just...Copy !req
1311. I just felt so alone. Um...Copy !req
1312. You can tell me.Copy !req
1313. The tree.Copy !req
1314. I didn't fall.Copy !req
1315. I let go.Copy !req
1316. - Oh, Evan.
- Do you hate me now?Copy !req
1317. You should. You should.Copy !req
1318. If you knew who I am,
just how just broken I am.Copy !req
1319. I already know you.Copy !req
1320. And I love you.Copy !req
1321. I can promise you that...Copy !req
1322. Someday...Copy !req
1323. All of this is gonna feel
like a very long time ago.Copy !req
1324. Your dad, um...Copy !req
1325. Do you remember when
he drove by to get his things?Copy !req
1326. It was a few weeks
after he moved out.Copy !req
1327. Temporarily, we said.Copy !req
1328. It's gonna get better,
I promise.Copy !req
1329. I was never friends
with Connor Murphy.Copy !req
1330. I lied,Copy !req
1331. repeatedly,Copy !req
1332. to his family,Copy !req
1333. to Alana,Copy !req
1334. to all of you.Copy !req
1335. I'm not asking
for your forgiveness.Copy !req
1336. I don't deserve it.Copy !req
1337. But, um, please...Copy !req
1338. Connor's family
doesn't deserve your hatred.Copy !req
1339. I do.Copy !req
1340. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1341. I think we got it.Copy !req
1342. All right.Copy !req
1343. You must start school
pretty soon.Copy !req
1344. Two more weeks.Copy !req
1345. When do you leave for college?Copy !req
1346. Um, actually I decided
to take a year off, so...Copy !req
1347. Uh, just try to save some money.Copy !req
1348. Get a job.Copy !req
1349. Uh... take some time.Copy !req
1350. So, I'm taking classes
at the community college.Copy !req
1351. I'll have credits to transfer
in the fall, so...Copy !req
1352. That's smart.Copy !req
1353. Yeah. We'll see.Copy !req
1354. I always picture
you and Connor here.Copy !req
1355. Even though...Copy !req
1356. This is my first time.Copy !req
1357. It's nice.Copy !req
1358. Peaceful.Copy !req
1359. My parents come here
all the time.Copy !req
1360. We do picnics, like,
every weekend.Copy !req
1361. Lots of gluten-free sandwiches.Copy !req
1362. It's helped them a lot,
actually.Copy !req
1363. Having this.Copy !req
1364. What I did...Copy !req
1365. I can't even...Copy !req
1366. It's the worst thing
anyone can do.Copy !req
1367. I wish we could have met now.Copy !req
1368. Today.Copy !req
1369. For the first time.Copy !req
1370. Me, too.Copy !req
1371. I should probably...Copy !req
1372. Yeah. Yeah, of course.Copy !req
1373. Of course.Copy !req
1374. Hey, can I just...Copy !req
1375. Can I just ask you...Copy !req
1376. Why did you want to meet here?Copy !req
1377. I wanted to be sure
that you saw this.Copy !req
1378. He really loved it here.Copy !req
1379. Dear Evan Hansen...Copy !req
1380. Today is gonna be
a good day, and here's why.Copy !req
1381. Because today,
no matter what else,Copy !req
1382. today at least you're you.Copy !req
1383. No hiding, no lying.Copy !req
1384. And that's...Copy !req
1385. That's enough.Copy !req
1386. So no matter how hard it gets,Copy !req
1387. even if it feels... impossible,Copy !req
1388. this time you'll know.Copy !req
1389. Don't let go.Copy !req
1390. Just hold on and keep going.Copy !req
1391. Just keep going.Copy !req