1. Dear Evan Hansen,
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2. Today is going to be an amazing day,
and here '5 wh y:
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3. Because z'oda y,
all you have to do is just' be yourself
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4. but also confident that's important
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5. and interesting, easy to talk to,
approachable, but mostly just be yourself
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6. that's number one, obviously. Be yourself
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7. but, like,
a confident version of yourself
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8. like, approachable and interesting,
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9. not weird or anxious or depressed, which
you're not weird, anxious, depressed.
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10. I don't even know
why you're bringing it up...
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11. You can't be scared to talk to people.
You said this year would be different
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12. you're overthinking it.
Do you like having no friends?
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13. All you have to do is just be yourself
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14. j” I've learned to slam on the brake
before I e ven turn the key j”
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15. j” before lmake the mistake j“
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16. j” before llead with the worst of me j”
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17. j” give them no reason to stare j”
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18. j” no slippin' up if you slip away j”
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19. j” so I got nothing to share j”
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20. j” no, / got nothing to say j”
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21. j” step out, step out of the sun
if you keep getting burned j”
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22. j” step out, step out of the sun
because you've learned j”
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23. j” because you've learned j”
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24. j” on the outside always lookin'in j”
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25. j” will I ever be more than
I've always been? J”
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26. j” cause I'm tap, tap, tapping
on the glass j”
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27. j” I'm waving through a window j”
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28. j” / try to speak, but nobody can hear j”
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29. j” so I wait around for
an answer to appear j”
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30. j” while I'm watch, watch
watch/n ' people pass j”
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31. j” I'm waving through a window j”
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32. j” can anybody see?
Is anybody wa ving back at me? J”
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33. So you just didn't eat last night?
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34. - I wasn't hungry.
- You're a senior in high school.
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35. You need to be able
to order dinner for yourself.
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36. You can do it all online.
You don't have to talk to anybody.
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37. Okay, well, that's not true, actually.
Because the credit card's expired,
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38. so you have to meet the delivery person
at the door, you know?
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39. You have to pay them with cash
at the door. You have to greet them.
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40. You have to figure out the right...
The right, um... the-the proper greeting.
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41. Okay.
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42. This is what you're supposed to be
working on, sweetheart, with Dr. Sherman.
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43. Have you been doing those letters
he wants you to do?
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44. "Dear Evan Hansen."
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45. Yeah, I've definitely...
I've been trying to.
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46. Those letters are important, honey.
You have to keep working.
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47. We can't go back
to where you were last year, right?
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48. You have an appointment this afternoon.
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49. I'm working till 6:00,
so you're gonna have to take the bus.
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50. Hey.
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51. I thought you could go around and
ask all the other kids to sign your cast.
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52. Perfect icebreaker, right?
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53. - What happened to your shirt?
- There was a stain on it.
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54. - But it's brand-new!
- Yes, I know.
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55. I was... I'm so mad.
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56. J” we start with stars in our eyes j”
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57. j” we start believing that we belong j”
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58. j” but every sun doesn't rise j”
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59. j” and no one tells you
where you went wrong j”
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60. j” step out, step out of the sun
if you keep getting burned j”
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61. j” step out, step out of the sun
because you've learned j”
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62. j” because you've learned j”
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63. j” on the outside always lookin'in j”
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64. j” will I ever be more than
I've always been? J”
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65. j” cause I'm tap, tap, tapping
on the glass j”
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66. j” waving through a window j”
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67. j” / try to speak, but nobody can hear j”
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68. j” so I wait around for
an answer to appear j”
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69. j” while I'm watch, watch
watchin ' people pass j”
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70. j” waving through a window j”
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71. j” can anybody see? J”
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72. j” is anybody waving? J”
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73. j” when you're fallin'in a forest
and there's nobody around j”
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74. j” do you ever really crash
or even make a sound? J”
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75. j” when you're fallin'in a forest
and there's nobody around j”
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76. j” do you ever really crash
or even make a sound? J”
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77. j” when you're fallin'in a forest
and there's nobody around j”
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78. j” do you ever really crash
or even make a sound? J”
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79. j” when you're fallin'in a forest
and there's nobody around j”
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80. j” do you ever really crash
or even make a sound? J”
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81. j” did / even make a sound?
Did / even make a sound? J”
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82. j” it's like lne ver made a sound
will I ever make a sound? J”
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83. j” on the outside always lookin'in j”
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84. j” will I ever be more than
I've always been? J”
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85. j” cause I'm tap, tap, tapping
on the glass j”
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86. j” waving through a window j”
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87. j” / try to speak, but nobody can hear j”
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88. j” so I wait around for
an answer to appear j”
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89. j” while I'm watch, watch
watchin ' people pass j”
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90. j” waving through a window j”
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91. j” can anybody see? J”
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92. j” is anybody wa ving back at me? J”
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93. j” is anybody waving? J”
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94. j” waving, wavingj”
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95. j” whoa j”
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96. j” whoa j”
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97. Evan.
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98. What?
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99. It's Zoe Murphy in that hot band shirt
you love so much.
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100. Can you just... can you please stop?
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101. Well, hey, maybe she's into you too.
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102. Maybe you should talk to her,
tell her how you feel.
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103. I've tried talking to her.
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104. Really?
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105. Yes... yeah, I...
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106. I stayed aftennards last year,
after the spring jazz band concert,
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107. but, um, I didn't go up to her because
I was worried that my hands were sweaty.
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108. Which they weren't even...
They weren't even that sweaty. I just...
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109. I was worried they were sweaty,
and sometimes worrying makes them sweaty.
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110. So I just went to the bathroom
and I put 'em under the hand dryer thing,
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111. but then they were still sweaty.
They were just... they were just also warm.
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112. I was kidding.
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113. You obviously should not talk to her.
You are a literal disaster.
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114. Go, bobcats!
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115. Go, bobcats.
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116. So awesome. So awesome, everyone.
Phenomenal, really.
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117. You know what's not phenomenal?
Deforestation.
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118. - So, what happened to your arm exactly?
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119. I was climbing a tree and I fell.
It was stupid.
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120. You fell out of a tree?
What are you, five?
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121. Well, um...
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122. 80, actually, I worked this summer
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123. as an apprentice park ranger
at Ellison state park.
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124. It's a funny story though, because...
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125. There was this solid ten minutes,
after I fell,
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126. where I just lay there on the ground,
waiting for someone to come get me.
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127. I was like, "any second now." You know?
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128. I kept... I was saying to myself,
"any second now. Here they come." So...
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129. Did they?
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130. No. Nobody came.
That's the, um... that's what's funny.
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131. That's not funny.
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132. Model UN.
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133. Well, anyways, um... how was...
Did you... how was camp?
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134. Well, I put on 13 pounds of pure muscle.
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135. Also, I hooked up with this Brazilian dude
who is literally a supermodel.
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136. So, yeah, hope that answers your question.
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137. So let's have mother nature's back
so that she'll have ours.
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138. Yeah!
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139. All right, thank you, Alana.
Very inspirational.
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140. All right, so, let's have a great year,
and... go, bobcats!
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141. - [{cheenng]
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142. Hey, um...
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143. Would you wanna sign my cast?
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144. You could... you could be the first.
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145. Why would I do that?
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146. Well, I just...
I thought because we're friends, and...
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147. We're family friends, Evan.
That's an entirely different thing.
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148. Please respect that.
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149. - Freshmen suck!
- [Booing, jeering]
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150. Connor, I'm loving this manicure.
It's very school shooter chic.
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151. - You're such an idiot.
- That is so not a joke.
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152. You think that's funny?
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153. What? No. Not at all.
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154. Then stop laughing!
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155. Hey.
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156. I'm sorry about my brother. He's a psycho.
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157. Evan, right?
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158. Evan_.
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159. That's your... that's your name.
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160. Yeah, it is. It is. Sorry. It's Evan.
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161. It's Evan. I'm sorry.
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162. Why are you sorry?
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163. 'Cause you said Evan,
and then I said it, you know?
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164. I just repeated it, which is, um...
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165. That's just really annoying
when people do that, so...
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166. I'm Zoe.
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167. It's a... I should... I think... sorry.
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168. Dear Evan Hansen,
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169. turns out this wasn't
an amazing day after all.
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170. This isn't gonna be an amazing week or
an amazing year, because why would it be?
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171. Oh, lknow. Because there's Zoe.
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172. Who I don't even know,
and who doesn't know me, but...
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173. Maybe if I did,
maybe if I could just talk to her.
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174. Il/laybe things would be better.
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175. Maybe nothing would be difi'erent at all.
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176. I wish everything was difi'erent.
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177. I wish I was difi'erent.
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178. I wish I was part of something.
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179. I wish that anything I said
mattered to anyone.
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180. But it doesn't, and it never did...
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181. And it ne ver will.
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182. I mean, face it, would anyone even notice
if //u5t disappeared tomorrow?
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183. Sincerely, your best
and most dearest friend, me.
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184. Hey. What happened to your arm?
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185. I was climbing a tree and I fell.
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186. You fell out of a tree?
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187. That's the saddest thing I've ever heard.
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188. I know.
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189. So... sorry, um, I think
I accidentally printed something.
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190. Yeah, we're all waiting.
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191. Um, no one signed your cast.
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192. - No, I know.
- I'll sign it.
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193. - You don't... you really don't have to...
- Do you have a sharpie or...
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194. I don't. Shoot.
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195. Here's one.
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196. Nice.
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197. Wow, that's great.
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198. Now we can both pretend we have friends.
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199. - "Dear Evan Hansen." Here you go.
- Yeah, that's mine.
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200. That's mine. I can take it. Sorry.
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201. "Because there's Zoe"...
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202. Is this about my sister?
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203. What? No, no. Who's... who's your sister?
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204. - You wanted me to find this?
- What?
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205. You saw I was here,
so you started writing this,
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206. - and you started talking to me.
- No, you started talking to me.
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207. So that I would read some creepy shit
about my sister and freak out, right?
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208. - Why would I do that?
- So you can tell everyone that I'm crazy.
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209. Right? Right?
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210. Gentlemen! Shh.
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211. No, I really...
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212. Look, I really need that back.
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213. So, can... look,
can you please just give it back?
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214. Just please don't show it to anyone.
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215. Connor!
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216. Come on.
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217. Shit. Shit.
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218. - Hi.
- H/; Honey, I'm so sorry.
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219. Erica called in at the last minute
with a stomach bug,
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220. and there's only
one other nurse on tonight.
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221. So I volunteered to take her shift.
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222. I hope you weren't waiting for me to eat.
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223. - No, I already ate.
- Um, it'smst,
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224. they announced more budget cuts
this morning,
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225. so anything I can do to show
that I'm a team player, you know?
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226. - How was your day?
- Fine.
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227. It was... it was pretty good.
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228. Yeah? You know,
I texted with meera this morning,
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229. and she said that Jared was really looking
foward to seeing you and reconnecting.
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230. I thought that was nice.
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231. Yeah, he's so nice.
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232. - How was Dr. Sherman?
- Pretty good.
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233. Any change to your meds?
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234. Um, no.
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235. Oh, god. Here he comes. All right, I...
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236. All right, love you. Bye.
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237. - Okay, I love you...
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238. Too.
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239. A letter to yourself
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240. I mean, what is that,
like some kind of sex thing?
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241. No. No, it's not a sex thing.
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242. - It was an assignment from my therapist.
- Ew.
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243. Why are you telling me this?
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244. I didn't know who else to tell.
You're my only... family friend.
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245. That's sad.
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246. Look, Connor isn't here again today.
That's three days in a row.
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247. He hasn't done anything with it yet,
like put it online or whatever.
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248. Because I've... I've been checking.
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249. So, you know, maybe he just...
Maybe he forgot, right?
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250. Right. Right.
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251. Or maybe he didn't, because
he's definitely gonna put it online.
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252. Dude, Connor Murphy is batshit.
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253. Don't you remember when he threw a printer
at Mrs. G in the second grade
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254. because he couldn't be line leader?
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255. He was seven.
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256. Just imagine what he's capable of now.
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257. Evan Hansen,
please report to Mr. Ho ward's ofi'ice.
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258. Oh, damn.
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259. Evan.
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260. Connor Murphy's mother and stepfather
are here to see you.
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261. They want to speak in private.
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262. Hello.
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263. Why don't you go ahead, honey?
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264. I'm going as fast as I can.
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265. Well, that's not what I said, is it?
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266. This is...
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267. Connor wanted you to have this.
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268. We didn't know you were friends.
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269. Well, we didn't think Connor
had any friends, frankly.
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270. And then we see this note,
and it seems to suggest pretty clearly
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271. that you and Connor were...
Or at least, for Connor...
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272. "Dear Evan Hansen."
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273. He addressed it to you.
He wrote it to you.
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274. These are the words
that he wanted to share with you.
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275. His last words.
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276. Connor took his own life.
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277. He what?
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278. This is all we found with him.
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279. He had it folded up in his pocket.
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280. But this is...
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281. I'm sorry. Connor didn't...
He didn't write this.
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282. Connor didn't write this.
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283. What... what does that mean?
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284. Well, he's obviously in shock.
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285. - If Connor didn't write this...
- I'm so sorry.
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286. - Can I... I should probably go, please.
- No, you don't understand.
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287. This is all that we have.
This is the only thing that we have left.
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288. - Cynthia, listen to me.
- No, don't... don't go.
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289. Okay, then you take it. Please take it.
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290. No. No, don't go. Don't.
Please stay. Please.
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291. His best and most dearest friend.
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292. - Oh, my god.
- That's... that's Connor.
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293. - Connor?
- Connor Murphy?
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294. - Holy shit.
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295. They invited me for dinner.
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296. They wanna know more stuff about
Connor and me, about our... friendship.
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297. - And you said yes?
- I froze.
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298. What are you gonna tell them?
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299. I mean, the truth.
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300. I don't know, man.
Are you really gonna tell these people
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301. that the only thing
they have left of their son
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302. is a sex letter
that you wrote to yourself?
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303. Hey. I'm so sorry.
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304. What the hell was that?
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305. I don't know.
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306. Oh, my god. They were so sad, his parents.
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307. I mean, his mom was just...
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308. I've never seen anyone so sad before.
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309. I have to tell them.
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310. You're early.
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311. Oh, s...
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312. Sorry.
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313. Sit.
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314. I hope you're hungry.
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315. So... you and Connor.
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316. You probably spent
a lot of time together, I bet.
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317. 80... not... not really, actually.
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318. - The thing is that I...
- We looked through his phone.
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319. His texts, emails.
We didn't find anything from you.
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320. - Yeah, no, I know. I know.
- He set up different accounts.
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321. Ones we couldn't find.
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322. He knew you read his emails.
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323. Well, somebody had to be the bad guy.
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324. Well, if you did have
any emails or conversations
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325. between the two of you,
we'd love to see anything.
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326. - Well...
- Yeah, it's-it's weird.
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327. The only time I saw you two together
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328. was when he was screaming in your face
at school last week.
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329. He was screaming at you?
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330. Yeah, yeah...
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331. Well, that wasn't very nice.
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332. Well, Connor wasn't very nice,
so that actually makes sense.
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333. I think that everybody at this table
can agree that Connor was, um...
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334. A complicated person.
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335. No, he was a bad person.
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336. Zoe, please.
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337. Don't pretend like
you don't agree with me.
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338. You refuse to remember
any of the good things.
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339. Because there were no good things.
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340. What were the good things?
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341. I'm not having this conversation
in front of our guest.
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342. No, tell us the good things.
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343. What were the good things?
Family day at sunny Glen?
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344. Zoe! This is not the time.
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345. - Who knew rehab could be so much fun?
- There were good things!
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346. I'm not the only one. You remember, right?
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347. Right. Yeah, of course.
Yes, of course there were good things.
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348. Tell us something. Please, Evan.
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349. Right, um...
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350. Connor and I...
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351. I don't know, um...
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352. We had a really great...
We had a really great time together...
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353. This one day recently.
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354. That's something good
that I remember. That day.
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355. Yeah, that awesome day at the...
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356. Um, trees.
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357. - Trees?
- Never mind, never mind.
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358. I'm sorry, I don't... I don't ne...
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359. I shouldn't have said anything,
and I knew it was stupid, so I'm...
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360. You don't mean the orchard, do you?
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361. He took you to the apple orchard?
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362. When?
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363. Once. Just... just once. That once.
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364. I thought that place closed years ago.
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365. Well, the hiking trails
are still open though, aren't they?
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366. We used to go to the orchard
all of the time. We'd do picnics there.
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367. Do you remember that, Zoe?
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368. Yeah, I do.
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369. And you and Connor
would fly that little toy plane
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370. until you crashed it into the creek.
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371. That was an emergency landing.
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372. I can't believe that he took you there.
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373. I bet you had fun. I bet the two of you...
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374. I bet that was fun.
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375. Yeah.
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376. We did. We did. The whole day.
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377. It was just...
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378. J” end of ma y or early June
this picture-perfect afternoon we share j”
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379. what was the name
of that ice cream place that we loved?
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380. Gifford's?
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381. - A la mode.
- That's it!
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382. A la mode.
And they had this homemade hot fudge.
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383. J” drive the winding country road
grab a scoop ata la ll/lode j”
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384. j” and then we're there j”
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385. and we'd sit in that Meadow
by the pine trees
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386. and you and your brother
would look for four-leaf clovers.
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387. J” an open field that's framed with trees
we pick a spot and shoot the breeze j”
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388. j” like buddies do j”
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389. j” ouoting songs by our favorite bands j”
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390. j” telling jokes no one understands
except us two j”
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391. j” and we talk and take in the viewj”
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392. j” all we see is sky for fore verj”
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393. j” we let the world pass by for fore ver j”
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394. j” feels like we could go on
for fore ver this way j”
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395. j” two friends on a perfect day j”
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396. I'd completely forgotten about that place.
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397. Well, I guess Connor didn't, did he?
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398. J” we walk a while and talk about j”
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399. j” the things we 'i/ do
when we get out of school j”
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400. j” bike the appalachian trail
or write a book or learn to sail j”
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401. j” wouldn't that be cool? J”
Copy !req
402. j” there's nothing that we can't discuss j”
Copy !req
403. j” like girls we wish would notice us
but ne ver do j”
Copy !req
404. j” he looks around and says to me
”there is no where else I 'd rather be ” j”
Copy !req
405. j” and / say, ”ll/le too”j”
Copy !req
406. j” and we talk and take in the viewj”
Copy !req
407. j” we just talk and take in the view j”
Copy !req
408. j” all we see is sky for fore verj”
Copy !req
409. j” we let the world pass by for fore ver j”
Copy !req
410. j” feels like we could go on
for fore ver this way j”
Copy !req
411. j” this wayj”
Copy !req
412. j” all we see is light for forever j”
Copy !req
413. j” cause the sun shines bright
for fore ver j”
Copy !req
414. j” like we'll be all right
for fore ver this way j”
Copy !req
415. j” two friends on a perfect day j”
Copy !req
416. j” and there he goes
racing toward the tallest tree j”
Copy !req
417. j” from far across a yellow field
I hear him calling, ”follow me ”j”
Copy !req
418. j” there we go j”
Copy !req
419. j” wondering how the world m/ght look
from up so h/gh j”
Copy !req
420. j” one foot after the other
one branch then to anotherj”
Copy !req
421. j” / cl/mb h/gher and higher j”
Copy !req
422. j” / cl/mb fill the entire sun j”
Copy !req
423. j” shines on my face j”
Copy !req
424. j” and / suddenly feel
the branch give way j”
Copy !req
425. j” I'm on the ground j”
Copy !req
426. j” ll/ly arm goes numb j”
Copy !req
427. j” / look around j”
Copy !req
428. j” and / see him come to get me j”
Copy !req
429. he's come to get me.
Copy !req
430. J” and everything's okayj”
Copy !req
431. j” all we see is sky for fore verj”
Copy !req
432. j” we let the world pass by for fore ver j”
Copy !req
433. j” buddy, you and / for forever this way j”
Copy !req
434. j” this wayj”
Copy !req
435. j” all we see is lightj”
Copy !req
436. j” cause the sun burns bright j”
Copy !req
437. j” we could be all right for fore ver j”
Copy !req
438. j” this wayj”
Copy !req
439. j” two friends j”
Copy !req
440. j” true friends j”
Copy !req
441. j” on a perfect dayj”
Copy !req
442. thank you, Evan.
Copy !req
443. Thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you.
Copy !req
444. I mean, they think you were lovers.
You realize that, right?
Copy !req
445. Oh, my god.
Copy !req
446. I thought you were gonna tell them
the truth.
Copy !req
447. I tried, but then I just...
I got nervous and I started talking.
Copy !req
448. And then once I started, I just...
Copy !req
449. Couldn't stop.
Copy !req
450. They didn't want me to stop.
Copy !req
451. What else did you say to them?
Copy !req
452. His mom thinks that we wrote emails
to each other.
Copy !req
453. Oh, perfect.
Copy !req
454. She thinks he had, like, secret accounts.
Copy !req
455. Ha, yes! Secret email accounts.
That's what all the cool kids are doing.
Copy !req
456. Hansen! Kalwani! Pick it up!
Copy !req
457. No, thank you!
Copy !req
458. - What was that?
- I said thank you for the encouragement!
Copy !req
459. Fascist.
Copy !req
460. She wants to see the emails.
Copy !req
461. And now you want me to make
a bunch of fake emails for you. Classic.
Copy !req
462. - You know how to do that?
- It's simple coding.
Copy !req
463. - But you failed coding.
- If you consider a d-minus failing.
Copy !req
464. Just so we're clear,
I charge a minimum of two grand per email.
Copy !req
465. And that is a floor, not a ceiling.
Copy !req
466. - $2,000?
- 500.
Copy !req
467. - I didn't even ask for your help.
- 250. Bottom line, take it or leave it.
Copy !req
468. I could probably give you 20 bucks.
Copy !req
469. Fine, but I'm not gonna act like
I'm happy about it.
Copy !req
470. J” dear Evan Hansen
we've been way too out of touch j”
Copy !req
471. j” things have been crazy j”
Copy !req
472. j” and it sucks that
we don't talk that much j”
Copy !req
473. j” but / should tell you
that / think of you each n/ght j”
Copy !req
474. j” / rub my nipples
and start moaning with delight j”
Copy !req
475. why would you write that?
Copy !req
476. I'm just trying to make it erotic.
Copy !req
477. - Look, if you can't take this seriously...
- Ugh, calm yourself, honey.
Copy !req
478. I just wanna get this over with.
Copy !req
479. J” / gotta tell you
life without you has been hard j”
Copy !req
480. - "hard"?
- J” has been bad j”
Copy !req
481. - "bad"?
- Has been rough.
Copy !req
482. - Kinky!
- Please stop.
Copy !req
483. J” and / miss talking about life
and other stuff j”
Copy !req
484. - very specific.
- Shut up!
Copy !req
485. - J” / like my parents j”
- who says that?
Copy !req
486. J” / lo ve my parents
but each day's another fight j”
Copy !req
487. j” if / stop smoking drugs
then everything might be all right j”
Copy !req
488. "smoking drugs"?
Copy !req
489. Just fix it!
Copy !req
490. - J” if / stop smoking crack j”
- "crack"?
Copy !req
491. J” if / stop smoking pot
then everything might be all right j”
Copy !req
492. j” I'll take your advice
I'll try to be more nice j”
Copy !req
493. j” I'll turn it around, wait and see j”
Copy !req
494. j” cause all that it takes
is a little reinvention j”
Copy !req
495. j” it's easy to change
if you give it your attention j”
Copy !req
496. j” all you gotta do is just belie ve
you can be who you want to be j”
Copy !req
497. j” sincerely, ll/le j”
Copy !req
498. are we done?
Copy !req
499. I mean, I can't just show them one email.
Copy !req
500. I wanna show that I was,
like, a good friend.
Copy !req
501. That I was trying to help him, you know.
Copy !req
502. Oh, my god.
Copy !req
503. J” dear Connor ll/lurph y
yes, I also miss our talks j”
Copy !req
504. j” stop doing drugs
just try to take deep breaths j”
Copy !req
505. - j” and go on walks j” -no.
Copy !req
506. J” I'm sending pictures
of the most amazing trees j”
Copy !req
507. j” you'll be obsessed
with all my forest expertise j”
Copy !req
508. what?
Copy !req
509. J” dude, I'm proud of you
just keep pushing through j”
Copy !req
510. j” you're turning around j”
Copy !req
511. - j” / can see j”
- j” just wait and see j”
Copy !req
512. j” cause all that it takes
is a little reinvention j”
Copy !req
513. j” it's easy to change
if you give it your attention j”
Copy !req
514. j” all you gotta do is just belie ve
you can be who you want to be j”
Copy !req
515. j” sincerely, ll/le j”
Copy !req
516. j” ll/ly sister's hot j”
Copy !req
517. - what the hell?
- My bad.
Copy !req
518. J” dear Evan Hansen
thanks for every note you send j”
Copy !req
519. j” dear Connor ll/lurph y
I'm just glad to be your friend j”
Copy !req
520. j” our friendship goes beyond
your a verage kind of bond j”
Copy !req
521. j” but not because they're gay
no, not because... j”
Copy !req
522. - j” well, anyway j”
- j” you're getting better every day j”
Copy !req
523. j” I'm getting better e very day j”
Copy !req
524. - j” keep j” -j” getting j”
Copy !req
525. - j” betterj” -j” eveiyj”
Copy !req
526. j” dayj”
Copy !req
527. j” hey, hey, hey, heyj”
Copy !req
528. j” cause all that it takes
is a little reinvention j”
Copy !req
529. j” it's easy to change if you give it j”
Copy !req
530. - j” your attention j”
- j” your attention j”
Copy !req
531. j” all you gotta do is just belie ve
you can be who you want to be j”
Copy !req
532. j” sincerely j”
Copy !req
533. j” miss you dear/yj”
Copy !req
534. j” sincerely, ll/le j”
Copy !req
535. j” sincerely, ll/le j”
Copy !req
536. j” sincerely, ll/le j”
Copy !req
537. j” sincerely, ll/le j”
Copy !req
538. I can't remember the last time
that I heard him laugh.
Copy !req
539. But the two of them, if you read these...
Copy !req
540. I think if you could take ten minutes
and actually read these emails...
Copy !req
541. I'm looking at them right now.
Copy !req
542. Zoe. Look what Evan sent us.
Copy !req
543. They're emails from your brother.
Copy !req
544. I printed them out.
Copy !req
545. Oh. Take that, trees.
Copy !req
546. - How was school?
- Terrific.
Copy !req
547. All of a sudden, people I've never met
want to be my best friends.
Copy !req
548. I'm the dead kid's sister,
didn't you know?
Copy !req
549. I'm sure they mean well.
Copy !req
550. I'm sure they don't.
Copy !req
551. She needs time.
Copy !req
552. No, Larry. She needs her parents.
Copy !req
553. Enjoy the game.
Copy !req
554. Can I come in?
Copy !req
555. Oh. You don't have to stop playing.
Copy !req
556. How was band?
Copy !req
557. You know, he talks about you
playing guitar in one of his emails.
Copy !req
558. At the spring concert last year.
Copy !req
559. - Really?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
560. Does he... does he talk about
when he disappeared for two days?
Copy !req
561. But then he called me
and asked me to come pick him up.
Copy !req
562. He wanted to come home,
but he wasn't ready to talk to you yet,
Copy !req
563. so I took the bus all the way downtown
to get him, and guess what?
Copy !req
564. All he really wanted was money.
Copy !req
565. And I gave it to him because I was 12.
Copy !req
566. He was struggling.
Copy !req
567. How about the time
he tried to punch through my door,
Copy !req
568. screaming at the top of his lungs,
saying he was gonna kill me for no reason?
Copy !req
569. Is that email in there?
Copy !req
570. We're all grieving in our own way.
Copy !req
571. You might consider reading these
when you're ready.
Copy !req
572. They might help more than you think.
Copy !req
573. J” why should / play
this game of pretend j”
Copy !req
574. j” remembering through
a second-hand sorrow? J”
Copy !req
575. j” such a great son and wonderful friend j”
Copy !req
576. j” oh, don't the tears just pour j”
Copy !req
577. j” / could curl up and hide in my room j”
Copy !req
578. j” here in my bed still sobbing tomorrow j”
Copy !req
579. j” / could give in to all of the gloom j”
Copy !req
580. j” but tell me, tell me what for? J”
Copy !req
581. j” why should I have a heavy heart?
Why should / start to break in pieces? J”
Copy !req
582. j” why should / go
and fall apart for you? J”
Copy !req
583. j” why should / play the grieving girl j”
Copy !req
584. j” and lie saying that I miss you j”
Copy !req
585. j” and that my world has gone dark
without your light? J”
Copy !req
586. j” / wrll sing no requiem j”
Copy !req
587. j” tonightj”
Copy !req
588. J” we gave you the world
you threw it away j”
Copy !req
589. j” leaving these broken
pieces behind you j”
Copy !req
590. j” everything wasted, nothing to say j”
Copy !req
591. j” so I can sing no requiem j”
Copy !req
592. j” lhear your voice and feel you nearj”
Copy !req
593. j” within these words lfi'nally find you j”
Copy !req
594. j” and now that / know
that you are still here j”
Copy !req
595. j” / wrll sing no requiem tonight j”
Copy !req
596. j” why should I have a heavy heart? J”
Copy !req
597. j” why should / sayj”
Copy !req
598. - j” I'i/ keep you with me? J”
- j” I'i/ keep you with me j”
Copy !req
599. j” why should / go
and fall apart for you? J”
Copy !req
600. j” why should / play the grieving girl j”
Copy !req
601. j” and lie saying that I miss you j”
Copy !req
602. - j” and that my world has gone dark j”
J” ll/ly world has gone dark j”
Copy !req
603. J” without your light? J”
J” I can see your lightj”
Copy !req
604. J” / will sing no requiem tonight j”
Copy !req
605. j” cause when the villains fall
the kingdoms never weep j”
Copy !req
606. j” no one lights a candle to rememberj”
Copy !req
607. j” no, no one mourns at all
when they lay them down to sleep j”
Copy !req
608. j” so don't tell me
that / didn't ha ve it right j”
Copy !req
609. j” don't tell me
that it wasn't black and white j”
Copy !req
610. j” after all you put me through
don't say it wasn't true j”
Copy !req
611. j” that you were not the monster... j”
Copy !req
612. J” that/ knewj”
Copy !req
613. j” cause / cannot play the grieving girl j”
Copy !req
614. j” and lie saying that I miss you j”
Copy !req
615. j” and that my world has gone dark j”
Copy !req
616. j” / wrll sing no requiem j”
Copy !req
617. j” / wrll sing no requiem j”
Copy !req
618. j” / wrll sing no requiem j”
Copy !req
619. j” tonightj”
Copy !req
620. j”ohj”
Copy !req
621. j”ohj”
Copy !req
622. j”ohj”
Copy !req
623. j”ohj”
Copy !req
624. They did a whole thing about them
on npr yesterday, these essay contests.
Copy !req
625. And if you win, it doesn't count
against any financial aid.
Copy !req
626. You know, so $5,000 here,
or $3,000 there. It adds up.
Copy !req
627. And we're gonna need
all the help we can get with college.
Copy !req
628. Unless your stepmother has some trust fund
for you that I don't know about,
Copy !req
629. with all those fabulous tips
she made cocktail waitressing.
Copy !req
630. - Right?
Copy !req
631. Mmm.
Copy !req
632. I got a...
Copy !req
633. I got an email from
your school yesterday, um,
Copy !req
634. about that boy that killed himself?
Connor Murphy?
Copy !req
635. Yeah. I didn't really know him, so...
Copy !req
636. You know, if you ever wanna talk
about anything...
Copy !req
637. Yeah. I mean, I know that lately
it feels like I'm always working.
Copy !req
638. - It's fine.
- But I'm-I'm here.
Copy !req
639. If I'm not here,
I'm just a phone call away,
Copy !req
640. or an email or a text.
Copy !req
641. - You know, whatever.
- I know.
Copy !req
642. It says "Connor" on your cast.
Copy !req
643. No, no. Yeah, um...
Copy !req
644. - You said you didn't know him.
- Sorry. I didn't. Um...
Copy !req
645. It's in memory, so... like...
Copy !req
646. You know, kids are, like, um...
Copy !req
647. They're writing his name on lockers
and stuff like that.
Copy !req
648. That's lovely. You know, in memory...
Copy !req
649. Hey. Tuesday. What are you doing?
Copy !req
650. When's the last time we did taco Tuesday?
Copy !req
651. - That'd be great.
- Really?
Copy !req
652. Yeah.
Copy !req
653. So, the memorial's really
just an opportunity
Copy !req
654. for all of us to come together
as a community
Copy !req
655. and to remember Connor
and celebrate who he was.
Copy !req
656. Would you wanna speak or perform?
Copy !req
657. I didn't really know him. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
658. - That's okay.
- Bye.
Copy !req
659. - Want a wristband?
- Oh. Yes. Yeah. Okay.
Copy !req
660. Thank you.
Copy !req
661. You were friends with him, right?
Copy !req
662. I saw him sign your cast in the library,
and you started arguing about something.
Copy !req
663. Were you friends with him?
Copy !req
664. We weren't close.
Copy !req
665. We presented together on huck Finn
in the tenth grade.
Copy !req
666. But he probably didn't tell you that.
Copy !req
667. No, no. I didn't know.
Copy !req
668. I always really liked him.
Copy !req
669. It seemed like he didn't really care
what anyone else thought, and...
Copy !req
670. I thought that was pretty remarkable.
Copy !req
671. Well, I'm putting together a memorial
for him at school on Friday.
Copy !req
672. If you wanted to do something...
Copy !req
673. Oh. Um...
Copy !req
674. Sorry, I...
Copy !req
675. I probably would rather not,
if that's okay.
Copy !req
676. Yeah, sure.
Copy !req
677. If you change your mind... just text me.
Copy !req
678. Okay.
Copy !req
679. Mom.
Copy !req
680. My mom realized we were out of ice cream,
so they went to go get more.
Copy !req
681. Did you park in the driveway?
Copy !req
682. 'Cause if you park on the street,
they'll ticket you.
Copy !req
683. The people in this neighborhood
are monsters.
Copy !req
684. No, I didn't. I didn't, um...
I took the bus.
Copy !req
685. My mom needed the car for work.
Copy !req
686. What about your dad?
Copy !req
687. My dad? He lives in Colorado, so...
Copy !req
688. He left when I was seven.
Copy !req
689. That sucks.
Copy !req
690. Mine died when I was one,
so... I sort of win.
Copy !req
691. - Sorry.
- Thanks. It's fine.
Copy !req
692. I don't even really remember him,
to be honest.
Copy !req
693. Connor did, though. A little.
Copy !req
694. That's terrible.
Copy !req
695. Yeah.
Copy !req
696. And then Larry showed up,
fixed everything.
Copy !req
697. For a while, at least. Yeah.
Copy !req
698. Most people, with Connor,
they just would've been like, "see ya."
Copy !req
699. But he's the only dad
we ever really knew, so...
Copy !req
700. Wow. Your mom... I didn't realize.
Copy !req
701. Yeah, well...
Copy !req
702. She's in total denial now.
Copy !req
703. So is Larry.
I mean, he didn't even cry at the funeral.
Copy !req
704. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
705. Not as sorry as you're gonna be.
Copy !req
706. - Oh, is... is that the...
- Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
707. Gluten-free apple pie? You bet.
Copy !req
708. It-it looks...
Copy !req
709. - Inedible? It is.
Copy !req
710. Just be glad
we get to have real ice cream.
Copy !req
711. My mom was Buddhist last year,
so we couldn't have any animal products.
Copy !req
712. She was, um, Buddhist last year
but not this year?
Copy !req
713. Yep. That's sort of what she does.
She gets into a lot of different things.
Copy !req
714. For a while it was pilates. The secret.
Copy !req
715. Buddhism. Etcetera.
Copy !req
716. It's cool she's interested
in so much different stuff.
Copy !req
717. Yeah. She's not though.
Copy !req
718. That's just what happens when you're rich
and you don't have a job.
Copy !req
719. You get a little crazy.
Copy !req
720. My mom always says
it's better to be rich than poor, so...
Copy !req
721. Well, your mom's probably
never been rich, then.
Copy !req
722. Yeah. You've probably never been poor.
Copy !req
723. Oh, my god. I can't believe
I just said that. I'm so sorry.
Copy !req
724. Wow.
Copy !req
725. I didn't realize you were capable
of saying something that wasn't nice.
Copy !req
726. I'm not. I'm really sorry.
Copy !req
727. You really don't have to keep saying that.
Copy !req
728. Okay.
Copy !req
729. You wanna say it again.
Copy !req
730. Yeah, very much so, I do.
Copy !req
731. Why did he write that? In his note?
Copy !req
732. "Because there's Zoe.
Copy !req
733. And I don't even know her,
but if I could just talk to her..."
Copy !req
734. Honestly, I really don't know.
Copy !req
735. What does any of that even mean? I mean...
Copy !req
736. We weren't close at all.
Not since we were kids.
Copy !req
737. He never noticed anything about me.
Copy !req
738. That's not true.
Copy !req
739. That's not true.
He noticed a lot of things about you.
Copy !req
740. Like what things?
Copy !req
741. Right.
Copy !req
742. No, no, no. That's...
Copy !req
743. Well... okay, okay.
Copy !req
744. Here's something.
Copy !req
745. Whenever you have a solo in jazz band,
you just...
Copy !req
746. You probably don't even know
you're doing this,
Copy !req
747. but you close your eyes,
and you get, like...
Copy !req
748. I don't know. It's like a half smile.
Copy !req
749. Like you just heard the funniest thing
in the world, but it's a secret,
Copy !req
750. and you can't tell anyone
about it. But then...
Copy !req
751. The way that you smile,
it's sort of like you are...
Copy !req
752. You're letting us in on the secret too.
Copy !req
753. J” he said there's nothing like
your smile j”
Copy !req
754. j” sort of subtle and perfect and real j”
Copy !req
755. j” he said you never knew how wonderful j”
Copy !req
756. j” that smile could make someone feel j”
Copy !req
757. j” and he knew whene ver you get bored j”
Copy !req
758. j” you scribble stars
on the cufis of your jeans j”
Copy !req
759. j” and he noticed
that you still fill out the quizzes j”
Copy !req
760. j” that they put in those teen magazines j”
Copy !req
761. I do that ironically.
Copy !req
762. J” but he kept it all inside his head j”
Copy !req
763. j” what he saw he left unsaid j”
Copy !req
764. j” and though he wanted to
he couldn't talk to you j”
Copy !req
765. j” he couldn't find a way j”
Copy !req
766. j” but he would always say j”
Copy !req
767. j” if / could tell her
tell her everything I see j”
Copy !req
768. j” if / could tell her
how she is everything to me j”
Copy !req
769. j” but we're a million worlds apart j”
Copy !req
770. j” and / don't know
howl would even start j”
Copy !req
771. j” if / could tell her j”
Copy !req
772. j” if / could tell her j”
Copy !req
773. did he say anything else?
Copy !req
774. About you?
Copy !req
775. - Never mind. I don't even care.
- No, no. He said so many things.
Copy !req
776. I'm just... I'm trying to remember
the best ones, so...
Copy !req
777. J” he thought it looked pretty cool j”
Copy !req
778. j” when you put indigo streaks
in your hair j”
Copy !req
779. - no fucking way.
Copy !req
780. J” and he wondered
how you learned to dance j”
Copy !req
781. j” like all the rest
of the world isn't there j”
Copy !req
782. j” but he kept it all inside his head j”
Copy !req
783. j” what he saw he left unsaid j”
Copy !req
784. j” if / could tell her
tell her everything I see j”
Copy !req
785. j” if / could tell her
how she is everything to me j”
Copy !req
786. j” but we're a million worlds apart j”
Copy !req
787. j” and / don't know
howl would even start j”
Copy !req
788. j” if / could tell her j”
Copy !req
789. j” if / could tell her j”
Copy !req
790. j” but what do you do
when there is this great divide? J”
Copy !req
791. j” he just seemed so far away j”
Copy !req
792. j” and what do you do
when the distance is too wide? J”
Copy !req
793. - j” it's like I don't know anything j”
- j” and how do you say j”
Copy !req
794. j” lloveyou? J”
Copy !req
795. j” llove youj”
Copy !req
796. j” llove youj”
Copy !req
797. j” llove youj”
Copy !req
798. j” but we're a million worlds apart j”
Copy !req
799. j” and / don't know
howl would even start j”
Copy !req
800. j” if / could tell her j”
Copy !req
801. j”/f/could... j”
Copy !req
802. - Hello?
Copy !req
803. - Sorry.
- Uh...
Copy !req
804. You beat us.
Copy !req
805. - Zoe, can you help serve?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
806. - Larry, get the plates.
- Can I do anything?
Copy !req
807. No, no. You're the guest. You sit down.
Copy !req
808. We asked if they had any soy ice cream,
Copy !req
809. but the guy at the store
said there was just no whey, so...
Copy !req
810. - When are you gonna give up thatjoke?
- I think never, actually.
Copy !req
811. You don't have to laugh at that.
Please don't.
Copy !req
812. I am sorry, but there's no way
you'd ever be able to tell
Copy !req
813. in a million years
that this was gluten-free.
Copy !req
814. Mom, come on. Look at it.
Copy !req
815. A million years is, uh...
That's a lot of years.
Copy !req
816. Do you see what I have to deal with?
Copy !req
817. I'm glad you're here.
Copy !req
818. "The Connor project."
Copy !req
819. So, it's a student group
Copy !req
820. dedicated to mental health awareness,
outreach and education.
Copy !req
821. Great. This is... it's great.
Copy !req
822. You know the Murphys, right?
Copy !req
823. Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
824. I was wondering if you would
reach out to them and get their blessing?
Copy !req
825. Oh, well, I don't...
Copy !req
826. - Lldont“.
- You wanna help the Murphys?
Copy !req
827. And all the other people
who might need it?
Copy !req
828. Like people like Connor.
Copy !req
829. Or... people like us.
Copy !req
830. "People like us"?
Copy !req
831. Yes, right,
because we have so much in common.
Copy !req
832. What?
Copy !req
833. Well, you're, like, the president
of a million different groups at school,
Copy !req
834. and you're part of every single activity.
Copy !req
835. And you're, you know... and I'm...
Copy !req
836. Um, I am not.
Copy !req
837. What do you take?
Copy !req
838. Okay, I'll go first.
Copy !req
839. I'm on Lexapro, ten milligrams.
Copy !req
840. Well, I'm on Zoloft.
Copy !req
841. And Wellbutrin.
Copy !req
842. And, um, ativan as needed.
Copy !req
843. Depression? Anxiety?
Copy !req
844. Yeah.
Copy !req
845. Yeah. Me too.
Copy !req
846. Some days, it's just like...
Copy !req
847. It's like, um...
Copy !req
848. Impossible?
Copy !req
849. - Yeah.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
850. You know, you don't really act like a...
Depressed sort of person.
Copy !req
851. I'm just good at staying anonymous.
Copy !req
852. Same as you.
Copy !req
853. There are a lot of people
who feel like us.
Copy !req
854. People that you wouldn't think.
Copy !req
855. J” you ever look at all the people
who seem to know exactly how to be? J”
Copy !req
856. j” you think, they don't need piles
of prescriptions to function naturally j”
Copy !req
857. j” well, look again and you might catch it
just stay a minute more j”
Copy !req
858. j” there's this little moment
after the sunny smile j”
Copy !req
859. j” as their eyes fall to the fioorj”
Copy !req
860. j” the anonymous ones who never
let you see the ache they carry j”
Copy !req
861. j” all of those anonymous ones j”
Copy !req
862. j” who never name
that quiet pain they Bury j”
Copy !req
863. j” so they keep on keepin'secrets
that they think they have to hide j”
Copy !req
864. j” but what if everybody's secret
ls they ha ve that secret side? J”
Copy !req
865. j” and to know the y're
somehow not alone j”
Copy !req
866. j” well, that's all the y're hoping forj”
Copy !req
867. j” what if they didn't have to stay j”
Copy !req
868. j” anonymous anymore? J”
Copy !req
869. J” spot the girl who stays in motion
she spins so fast so she won't fall j”
Copy !req
870. j” she's built a wall with her achie
vements to keep out the question j”
Copy !req
871. j” without it
is she worth anything at all? J”
Copy !req
872. j” so nobody can know j”
Copy !req
873. j” just what the cracks might show j”
Copy !req
874. j” how deep and dark they go j”
Copy !req
875. j” there are those anonymous ones j”
Copy !req
876. j” stuck inside the perfect frame
they're faking j”
Copy !req
877. j” all of us anonymous ones j”
Copy !req
878. j” who pick themselves apart
till they start breaking j”
Copy !req
879. j” and we keep on keepin'secrets
that we think we have to hide j”
Copy !req
880. j” but what we really need
is somebody to see that secret side j”
Copy !req
881. j” and to know we're somehow not alone
is all we're hoping forj”
Copy !req
882. j” and then we wouldn't have to be
anonymous anymore j”
Copy !req
883. J” the parts we can't tell
we carry them well j”
Copy !req
884. j” but that doesn't mean
they're not hea vy j”
Copy !req
885. j” the parts we can't tell
we carry them well j”
Copy !req
886. j” but that doesn't mean
they're not hea vy j”
Copy !req
887. j” the anonymous one, noticed by none j”
Copy !req
888. go, bobcats!
Copy !req
889. J” the parts we can't tell
we carry them well j”
Copy !req
890. j” but that doesn't mean
they're not hea vy j”
Copy !req
891. "The Connor project"?
Copy !req
892. Yeah, so it's a student group dedicated
to keeping Connor's memory alive.
Copy !req
893. Making sure people that need help
have somewhere they can go.
Copy !req
894. I didn't realize Connor
meant this much to people.
Copy !req
895. Well, I mean, it was all Alana's idea.
She thought of the whole thing.
Copy !req
896. That's the young woman
who organized the memorial tomorrow.
Copy !req
897. Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
898. - Well, she seems like... quite a force.
- Yeah, um...
Copy !req
899. Anyways...
Copy !req
900. We just wanted to do something.
Copy !req
901. It's-it's really cool.
Copy !req
902. There's something I wanna show you.
Copy !req
903. Sure.
Copy !req
904. - Here we go.
Copy !req
905. It's a bit of a mess, I know.
Copy !req
906. We still haven't decided
what to do with everything.
Copy !req
907. Oh, um...
Copy !req
908. He used to write songs.
Or at least he told us he did.
Copy !req
909. He refused to play for us, so, who knows?
Copy !req
910. He never played any for you?
Copy !req
911. No, he didn't.
Copy !req
912. No. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
913. Here it is.
Copy !req
914. It's a...
Copy !req
915. When Connor entered seventh grade,
Copy !req
916. all of my girlfriends said,
"here it comes, bar mitzvah season.
Copy !req
917. He's going to have a different party
every Saturday."
Copy !req
918. And Larry was so excited
to take him shopping.
Copy !req
919. He dragged him to Brooks brothers,
Copy !req
920. and they picked out a suit,
some shirts and this tie.
Copy !req
921. He looked just like his dad.
Copy !req
922. He never got invited to a single party.
Copy !req
923. He was such a sweet boy underneath it all.
Copy !req
924. Everything just hurt too much.
Copy !req
925. I thought that you could wear this
to the memorial. For your speech.
Copy !req
926. I'm not... I've... I...
Copy !req
927. I wasn't... I'm not speaking.
Copy !req
928. - Why not?
- Well, I...
Copy !req
929. I just don't think, um...
Copy !req
930. I mean, most people think
that I'm... not that cool of a person.
Copy !req
931. So nobody wants to hear from me.
Copy !req
932. Well, if that's what most people think...
Copy !req
933. It sounds like most people
don't know you very well.
Copy !req
934. They didn't know Connor either.
Copy !req
935. They never bothered.
Copy !req
936. Hmm.
Copy !req
937. You can tell them what they missed.
Copy !req
938. You're so handsome.
Copy !req
939. I'm so glad
you changed your mind.
Copy !req
940. Today is a day of remembrance
and reflection.
Copy !req
941. It sucks he isn't here to see this.
Copy !req
942. The first person we'll hear from
this morning is Evan Hansen.
Copy !req
943. - Good morning, s...
Copy !req
944. Sorry. Sorry.
Copy !req
945. Good morning, students and faculty.
Copy !req
946. I would like to say a few words
to you today...
Copy !req
947. About my friend...
Copy !req
948. My best friend, Connor Murphy.
Copy !req
949. Holy shit.
Copy !req
950. I would like to tell you about the day
that Connor and I went hiking
Copy !req
951. behind the old Autumn smile apple orchard.
Copy !req
952. We found a huge oak tree.
Copy !req
953. Connor said he wondered what the world
would look like from all the way up there,
Copy !req
954. so we decided to find out.
Copy !req
955. We started climbing slowly,
Copy !req
956. and then when I finally looked back,
we were already 30 feet off the ground.
Copy !req
957. Connor just looked at me...
Copy !req
958. And smiled that way he always did.
Copy !req
959. Um. And then...
Copy !req
960. Sorry. Then I fell.
Copy !req
961. I lay there on the ground, and...
Copy !req
962. Good morning, students and... faculty.
Copy !req
963. Sorry, that...
Copy !req
964. Sorry, that's the wrong...
Copy !req
965. J” have you ever felt like
nobody was there? J”
Copy !req
966. j” have you ever felt forgotten
in the middle of nowhere? J”
Copy !req
967. j” have you ever felt like
you could disappear? J”
Copy !req
968. j” like you could fall
and no one would hear? J”
Copy !req
969. but, see, the thing is,
when I looked up, Connor was there.
Copy !req
970. That's the gift he gave me.
Copy !req
971. To show me that I wasn't alone. Nobody is.
Copy !req
972. That's the gift that he gave all of us.
Copy !req
973. I just wish...
Copy !req
974. I wish we could've given that to him.
Copy !req
975. J” let that lonely feeling wash away j”
Copy !req
976. j” maybe there's a reason
to believe you'll be okay j”
Copy !req
977. j” cause when you don't feel
strong enough to stand j”
Copy !req
978. j” you can reach, reach out your hand j”
Copy !req
979. j” and, oh, someone wrll come runnin'j”
Copy !req
980. j” and / know the y'i/ take you home j”
Copy !req
981. j” even when the dark
comes crashin' through j”
Copy !req
982. j” when you need a friend to carry you j”
Copy !req
983. j” and when you're broken on the ground j”
Copy !req
984. j” you will be found j”
Copy !req
985. j” so let the sun come streamin'in j”
Copy !req
986. j” cause you'll reach up
and you'll rise again j”
Copy !req
987. j” lift your head and look around j”
Copy !req
988. j” you will be found j”
Copy !req
989. j” you will be found j”
Copy !req
990. j” you will be found j”
Copy !req
991. j” you will be found j”
Copy !req
992. j” you will be found j”
Copy !req
993. Have you seen this?
Copy !req
994. People started sharing it,
and now, it's everywhere.
Copy !req
995. This morning it only had, like, 30 views.
Copy !req
996. - Well, how many does it have now?
- 723.
Copy !req
997. 2,326 views.
Copy !req
998. 14,359.
Copy !req
999. I don't understand what happened.
Copy !req
1000. You did.
Copy !req
1001. J” there's a place
where we don't have to feel unknown j”
Copy !req
1002. - oh, my god.
- Everybody needs to see this.
Copy !req
1003. J” and every time that you call out j”
Copy !req
1004. j” you're a little less alone j”
Copy !req
1005. - I can't stop watching this video.
77years old.
Copy !req
1006. J” if you only say the word j”
Copy !req
1007. - take five minutes.
- /t'll make your day.
Copy !req
1008. J” from across the silence j”
Copy !req
1009. j” your voice is heard j”
Copy !req
1010. j”ohj”
Copy !req
1011. - share it with the people you love.
- Repost.
Copy !req
1012. The world needs to hear this.
Copy !req
1013. Beautiful tribute.
Copy !req
1014. I know someone
who really needed to hear this today.
Copy !req
1015. So, thank you, Evan Hansen,
for doing what you're doing.
Copy !req
1016. Ine ver met you, Connor,
Copy !req
1017. but coming on here,
reading everyone's posts...
Copy !req
1018. Evan is exactly right. We are not alone.
Copy !req
1019. We are not alone. None of us.
Copy !req
1020. - None of us are alone.
- Like. Forward
Copy !req
1021. especially now,
with everything you hear on the news.
Copy !req
1022. - Like. Share.
- Repost. Forward
Copy !req
1023. thank you, Evan Hansen,
for giving us a space to remember Connor.
Copy !req
1024. - Thanks to Evan.
- Thanks for helping my mom.
Copy !req
1025. Thank you, Evan Hansen.
Copy !req
1026. J” to take you home j”
Copy !req
1027. j” to take you home j”
Copy !req
1028. just reach out.
Copy !req
1029. - J” to take you home j”
- this is about community and friendship.
Copy !req
1030. J” to take you home j”
Copy !req
1031. Thank you, Evan Hansen.
Copy !req
1032. J” even when the dark
comes crashin' through j”
Copy !req
1033. j” when you need a friend to carry you j”
Copy !req
1034. j” when you're broken on the ground
you will be found j”
Copy !req
1035. j” so let the sun come streamin'in j”
Copy !req
1036. j” cause you'll reach up
and you'll rise again j”
Copy !req
1037. j” if you only look around
you will be found j”
Copy !req
1038. j” you will be found j”
Copy !req
1039. - j” you will be found j”
- j” you will be found j”
Copy !req
1040. j” you will be found j”
Copy !req
1041. j” out of the shadows
the morning is breaking j”
Copy !req
1042. j” and all is new, all is newj”
Copy !req
1043. j” it's filling up the empty
and suddenly I see j”
Copy !req
1044. j” that all is new, all is newj”
Copy !req
1045. j” you are not alone j”
Copy !req
1046. j” you are not alone j”
Copy !req
1047. j” you are not alone j”
Copy !req
1048. j” you are not alone j”
Copy !req
1049. - j” you are not alone j”
- j” you are not alone j”
Copy !req
1050. - j” you are not alone j”
- j” you are not alone j”
Copy !req
1051. - j” you are not alone j”
- j” you are not alone j”
Copy !req
1052. j” you are not alone j”
Copy !req
1053. j” even when the dark
comes crashin' through j”
Copy !req
1054. j” when you need someone to carry you j”
Copy !req
1055. j” when you're broken on the ground j”
Copy !req
1056. j” you will be found j”
Copy !req
1057. j” so let the sun come streamin'in j”
Copy !req
1058. j” cause you'll reach up
and you'll rise again j”
Copy !req
1059. j” if you only look around j”
Copy !req
1060. j” you will be found j”
Copy !req
1061. j” even when the dark
comes crashin' through j”
Copy !req
1062. j” you will be found j”
Copy !req
1063. j” when you need someone to carry you j”
Copy !req
1064. j” you will be found j”
Copy !req
1065. j” you will be found j”
Copy !req
1066. Hey. What's wrong?
Copy !req
1067. Everything you said in your speech.
Copy !req
1068. Everything you've done.
Copy !req
1069. You don't know how much
you've given all of us.
Copy !req
1070. My family. Me.
Copy !req
1071. No, I...
Copy !req
1072. You've given me my brother back.
Copy !req
1073. Welcome to the first ofiicial
meeting of the Connor project
Copy !req
1074. right?
Copy !req
1075. Now, as you all know from Evan's speech,
Copy !req
1076. Connor's favorite place in the entire
world was the Autumn smile apple orchard.
Copy !req
1077. I am beyond excited to announce
that in addition to our support groups,
Copy !req
1078. we will be launching
a kickstarter campaign
Copy !req
1079. to raise $100,000
to reopen and redesign Autumn smile
Copy !req
1080. as the Connor Murphy memorial orchard.
Copy !req
1081. Soto explain
what we're going to be asking of you,
Copy !req
1082. I'm gonna turn things over
to our director of global communications.
Copy !req
1083. Thanks, Alana. 80 great.
Copy !req
1084. Our new website is now live.
Copy !req
1085. If you have not yet read the emails
between Evan and Connor...
Copy !req
1086. Oh, you're gonna wanna grab some tissues.
Copy !req
1087. I swear I've got a Cal ripken here
somewhere. Look at that. Hmm?
Copy !req
1088. The entire '96 team.
There's three hall of famers on there.
Copy !req
1089. - Wow.
- You get the right people,
Copy !req
1090. baseball fans, you could raise at least
a few hundred bucks for the orchard,
Copy !req
1091. maybe a couple thousand.
Copy !req
1092. Yeah, but...
Copy !req
1093. I mean,
you should probably keep all this stuff.
Copy !req
1094. It's just gonna sit here gathering dust.
Copy !req
1095. Stiff as a board, isn't it?
Copy !req
1096. - Yeah.
- Well, it's never been used.
Copy !req
1097. Connor, he loved baseball...
When he was little.
Copy !req
1098. The first time I met him...
Copy !req
1099. Cynthia wasn't sure
how the kids would react.
Copy !req
1100. She was terrified. And I was terrified.
Copy !req
1101. I mean, five minutes in...
Copy !req
1102. Connor's, like, pulling my arm...
Copy !req
1103. "Come on. Let's go play catch."
Copy !req
1104. I bought that,
I don't know, two years ago.
Copy !req
1105. I thought, you know, maybe we could...
Copy !req
1106. So stupid.
Copy !req
1107. He was really lucky to have a step...
Copy !req
1108. To have a dad like you.
Copy !req
1109. Your dad must feel pretty lucky to...
Copy !req
1110. Have a son like you.
Copy !req
1111. Yeah, he does.
Copy !req
1112. You know, I saw the strangest thing
on Facebook yesterday.
Copy !req
1113. - Really?
- Um, somebody had a video
Copy !req
1114. of you doing a speech.
Copy !req
1115. About that boy. Connor Murphy.
Copy !req
1116. How the two of you climbed
a tree together. At an orchard.
Copy !req
1117. You told me that you didn't know him,
Copy !req
1118. but in the speech you said that
he was your best friend.
Copy !req
1119. Right, well... 'Cause it wasn't true, um...
Copy !req
1120. When I said I didn't know him.
Copy !req
1121. Hmm.
Copy !req
1122. I thought that you broke your arm at work.
Copy !req
1123. Okay, well, who do you think
drove me to urgent care?
Copy !req
1124. And waited there with me?
You were at work. You remember?
Copy !req
1125. I couldn't even...
You didn't answer your phone.
Copy !req
1126. You told me that your boss took you.
Copy !req
1127. Well, so I lied, obviously.
Copy !req
1128. So when were you planning on
telling me any of this?
Copy !req
1129. - When would I tell you? When are you here?
- I'm here now.
Copy !req
1130. Okay.
Copy !req
1131. I talked to Dr. Sherman, and he told me
you've been skipping appointments.
Copy !req
1132. - I missed one.
- You know, those aren't free.
Copy !req
1133. Sorry. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1134. I'm so happy you had a friend, sweetheart.
Copy !req
1135. I'm sorry he's gone.
I just wish I'd known.
Copy !req
1136. That speech you gave, it...
Copy !req
1137. I don't even know what to say. I'm...
Copy !req
1138. I'm proud of you.
Copy !req
1139. Thanks.
Copy !req
1140. This is a cool surprise.
Copy !req
1141. Um...
Copy !req
1142. Can I get you anything? Or...
Copy !req
1143. Just water.
Copy !req
1144. - Just water? You're sure?
- Yeah. That's perfect.
Copy !req
1145. Coming up.
Copy !req
1146. Where's your mom?
Copy !req
1147. She works late on Fridays.
Copy !req
1148. - I wanted to meet her.
- Yeah, that would've been great.
Copy !req
1149. What's this?
Copy !req
1150. Oh. It's just... my mom is obsessed with
these college scholarship essay contests.
Copy !req
1151. I mean, I'd have to win probably,
like, all of them
Copy !req
1152. to actually pay for college, so...
Copy !req
1153. Your parents, they can't...
Copy !req
1154. Uh, not really.
Copy !req
1155. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1156. Is your room upstairs?
Copy !req
1157. Yeah. It's, um...
Copy !req
1158. Yeah.
Copy !req
1159. Yeah. So it's a pretty standard
sort of room, I guess.
Copy !req
1160. So... hey! Oh, um...
Copy !req
1161. Actually, I meant to tell you this before.
Copy !req
1162. So Alana and I had a really good...
Copy !req
1163. Um, we had a really good meeting
this morning, and I think...
Copy !req
1164. You probably noticed that, you know,
Copy !req
1165. a lot of people were giving
during that first week,
Copy !req
1166. which is definitely great, but it sort of
slowed down a bit, obviously.
Copy !req
1167. But Alana and I are really confident
that it's gonna pick right back up.
Copy !req
1168. I think it's just a matter of...
Copy !req
1169. Can I talk to you about something?
Copy !req
1170. Yes.
Copy !req
1171. Uh...
Copy !req
1172. The Connor project is awesome.
It's really, really cool.
Copy !req
1173. Thank you.
Copy !req
1174. It's just that my whole life,
everything has been about him.
Copy !req
1175. And maybe the two of us...
Copy !req
1176. Maybe we don't have to talk about
my brother all the time.
Copy !req
1177. Maybe we can...
Copy !req
1178. Talk about other things.
Copy !req
1179. I like you.
Copy !req
1180. And it's not because
you were friends with my brother,
Copy !req
1181. or because of the Connor project.
Copy !req
1182. I like you 'cause...
Copy !req
1183. You.
Copy !req
1184. J” / don't need you to sell me on
reasons to want you j”
Copy !req
1185. j” / don't need you to search
for the proof that I should j”
Copy !req
1186. j” you don't have to convince me j”
Copy !req
1187. j” you don't have to be scared
you're not enough j”
Copy !req
1188. j” cause what we've got goin'is good j”
Copy !req
1189. j” / don't need more reminders
of all that's been broken j”
Copy !req
1190. j” / don't need you to fix
what / 'd rather forget j”
Copy !req
1191. j” clear the slate and start overj”
Copy !req
1192. j” try to quiet the noises in your head j”
Copy !req
1193. j” we can't compete with all that j”
Copy !req
1194. j” so what if it's us? J”
Copy !req
1195. j” what if it's us and only us? J”
Copy !req
1196. j” and what came before
won't count anymore, or matter? J”
Copy !req
1197. j” can we try that? J”
Copy !req
1198. j” what if it's you? What if it's me? J”
Copy !req
1199. j” and what if that's
all that we need it to be? J”
Copy !req
1200. j” and the rest of the world falls away j”
Copy !req
1201. j” what do you say? J”
Copy !req
1202. j” / ne ver thought there 'd be
someone like you who would want me j”
Copy !req
1203. well...
Copy !req
1204. J” so I give you 70,000 reasons
to not let me go j”
Copy !req
1205. j” but if you really see me j”
Copy !req
1206. j” if you like me for
me and nothing else j”
Copy !req
1207. j” well, that's all that I've wanted
for longer than you could possibly know j”
Copy !req
1208. j” so it can be us j”
Copy !req
1209. j” it can be us and only us j”
Copy !req
1210. j” and what came before
won't count anymore, or matter j”
Copy !req
1211. j” we can try that j”
Copy !req
1212. j” it's not so impossible j”
Copy !req
1213. j” nobody else but the two of us here j”
Copy !req
1214. j” cause you're saying it's possible j”
Copy !req
1215. j” we can just watch
the whole world disappearj”
Copy !req
1216. j” till you're the only one j”
Copy !req
1217. j” / still know how to see j”
Copy !req
1218. J” it's just you and me j”
Copy !req
1219. J” it'll be us j”
Copy !req
1220. j” it'll be us and only us j”
Copy !req
1221. j” and what came before
won't count anymore j”
Copy !req
1222. j” we can try that j”
Copy !req
1223. j” you and me
that's all that we need it to be j”
Copy !req
1224. j” and the rest of the world falls away j”
Copy !req
1225. j” and the rest of the world falls away j”
Copy !req
1226. j” the world falls away j”
Copy !req
1227. j” the world falls away j”
Copy !req
1228. J” the world falls away j”
Copy !req
1229. j” the world falls away j”
Copy !req
1230. j” the world falls away j”
Copy !req
1231. j” the world falls away j”
Copy !req
1232. J” the world falls away j”
Copy !req
1233. all right, let's just start without him.
Copy !req
1234. J” the world falls away j”
Copy !req
1235. j” and it's only us j”
Copy !req
1236. I've been told that many times.
Copy !req
1237. Hi, honey.
Copy !req
1238. Come join us.
I just put dinner in the oven.
Copy !req
1239. She made me swear to keep it a surprise.
Copy !req
1240. I'm surprised.
Copy !req
1241. Hi. It's so nice to finally meet you.
Copy !req
1242. - Hi.
- Oh, hi. Yeah... great. It's great.
Copy !req
1243. Come on, Evan. Sit.
Copy !req
1244. I thought that you were working tonight.
Copy !req
1245. Cynthia called and invited me for dinner,
so, you know, I'm playing hooky.
Copy !req
1246. We were just discussing
how sneaky you and Connor were.
Copy !req
1247. I had no idea that
he and Connor were even friends.
Copy !req
1248. We were the same.
Copy !req
1249. You know,
boys love their secrets.
Copy !req
1250. Something smells good. What's for dinner?
Copy !req
1251. It's chicken milanese. Your favorite.
Copy !req
1252. Actually his favorite
Copy !req
1253. - is my great-grandmother's black beans.
- Really?
Copy !req
1254. Well, he's the only one
that appreciates my cooking, so...
Copy !req
1255. That's not true.
Copy !req
1256. - Another drop?
- No, no. I'm fine. Thank you.
Copy !req
1257. Fascinating story about the wine.
Copy !req
1258. It's from a vineyard in napa,
Copy !req
1259. and the entire growing process
from start to finish, 100% sustainable.
Copy !req
1260. Is that right?
Copy !req
1261. Not to mention, it tastes good too.
Copy !req
1262. It does.
Copy !req
1263. You know, I-I didn't realize,
Copy !req
1264. Cynthia and Larry were telling me
that you spend so much time here.
Copy !req
1265. Yeah. You've been working a lot, so...
Copy !req
1266. Why did I think you were at Jared's?
Copy !req
1267. I-I don't know.
Copy !req
1268. Evan was showing me all of those
scholarship contests that you found.
Copy !req
1269. It's really impressive.
Copy !req
1270. Well, Evan is a great writer.
Copy !req
1271. Well, that does not surprise me at all.
Copy !req
1272. His English teacher last year told me
Copy !req
1273. that he wrote one of the best papers
she'd ever read on sulu.
Copy !req
1274. Is that right?
Copy !req
1275. - It's sula.
- What?
Copy !req
1276. You said "squ." It's sula.
Copy !req
1277. Yeah, I believe sulu's
a character on Star Trek
Copy !req
1278. My mistake.
Copy !req
1279. So, speaking of scholarships...
Copy !req
1280. Oh, right, uh...
Copy !req
1281. Yeah, well, I guess
now's as good a time as any.
Copy !req
1282. Cynthia, do you wanna...
Copy !req
1283. Well, um...
Copy !req
1284. Zoe happened to mention that
Evan was having some difficulty
Copy !req
1285. in terms of
the financial burden of college.
Copy !req
1286. And Larry and I started thinking,
Copy !req
1287. and we've been fortunate enough
to set some money aside for Connor.
Copy !req
1288. - I'm good. I'm okay.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1289. Heidi, with your blessing,
we would like to give Evan
Copy !req
1290. the money that we set aside for our son
so he can fulfill his dreams.
Copy !req
1291. Thank you so much...
Copy !req
1292. But we're gonna be fine.
Copy !req
1293. I don't have a lot of money,
but I do have some.
Copy !req
1294. Oh. No, no. I didn't mean to in...
Copy !req
1295. No, no, I understand.
But we do have money,
Copy !req
1296. so I'm sorry you were under the impression
that we didn't.
Copy !req
1297. And whatever money we don't have,
Copy !req
1298. Evan will either make up for with a job,
or he'll get a scholarship.
Copy !req
1299. I don't want my son to get the idea
Copy !req
1300. that it's okay
to rely on other people for favors.
Copy !req
1301. - Well, it's not a favor.
- No.
Copy !req
1302. But as his mother,
I need to set that example.
Copy !req
1303. You can't expect things from strangers.
Copy !req
1304. We're not strangers.
Copy !req
1305. No, of course not.
Copy !req
1306. But you're not family either.
Copy !req
1307. Mom, just hold on.
Copy !req
1308. No, I think I better get to work,
see if I can grab a shift
Copy !req
1309. now that I know how concerned you are
about our finances.
Copy !req
1310. - Mom, will you please come back inside?
- Oh, my god.
Copy !req
1311. - Are you kidding me?
- Will you just come back inside, please?
Copy !req
1312. They think you're their son, these people.
Copy !req
1313. - They're not "these people."
- They don't really know you.
Copy !req
1314. Well, they like me. I know
that's very hard for you to believe.
Copy !req
1315. That they don't think I'm...
Copy !req
1316. That there's something wrong with me,
that I need to be fixed, like you do.
Copy !req
1317. When have I ever said that?
Copy !req
1318. Oh, my god. Mom, I have to go
to therapy, right? I have to take drugs.
Copy !req
1319. There's nothing wrong with that.
Copy !req
1320. There's nothing wrong
with needing help, honey.
Copy !req
1321. Just stop. I know that there is
and that I'm a burden.
Copy !req
1322. I'm the worst thing
that ever happened to you,
Copy !req
1323. and I just ruined your life, okay?
Copy !req
1324. No. You are the best thing.
Copy !req
1325. You're the best thing
that's ever happened to me.
Copy !req
1326. I'm sorry I can't give you
anything more than that.
Copy !req
1327. It's not my fault if other people can.
Copy !req
1328. I'll see you at home.
Copy !req
1329. I'm so sorry.
I meant to be there yesterday.
Copy !req
1330. Okay, well, we have two days left,
and we're $25,000 short.
Copy !req
1331. Yeah, I just... everything...
Copy !req
1332. You're right. I know. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1333. Things have been really busy, so...
Copy !req
1334. I've been wondering something.
Copy !req
1335. Were you ever actually friends with him?
Copy !req
1336. What are you talking about?
Copy !req
1337. Well, the thing about the emails,
it's just that, like,
Copy !req
1338. you and Connor keep talking
about climbing this tree together in June.
Copy !req
1339. - Mm-hmm.
- We were in school in June.
Copy !req
1340. You didn't have a cast until September.
Copy !req
1341. You know what? We probably wrote down
the wrong date or something.
Copy !req
1342. It's not just the emails, Evan.
Copy !req
1343. You've missed, like,
three meetings in a row.
Copy !req
1344. If I were his best friend,
I would be doing everything I could
Copy !req
1345. to make sure his dream
of rebuilding the orchard came true.
Copy !req
1346. Okay...
Copy !req
1347. Look, it's terrible that people aren't
giving as much money as we hoped. It is.
Copy !req
1348. But it's not like it's him.
You know what I mean?
Copy !req
1349. It's just... it's an orchard, Alana.
Copy !req
1350. We have people watching us, hoping...
Copy !req
1351. Praying that we can prove Connor wrong.
Copy !req
1352. And if the orchard
is just an empty promise,
Copy !req
1353. all of those people will know
that Connor was right...
Copy !req
1354. That no one cares.
Copy !req
1355. Did you lie to me?
Copy !req
1356. Did I lie to all these people?
Copy !req
1357. Just go to your email.
Copy !req
1358. - Another email?
- It's not...
Copy !req
1359. It's not another email.
Copy !req
1360. "Dear Evan Hansen."
Copy !req
1361. If we weren't friends, then he wouldn't...
Copy !req
1362. He wouldn't have written his note to me.
Copy !req
1363. Look,
only his family have seen this, okay?
Copy !req
1364. You can't show it to anybody else, okay?
Copy !req
1365. Alana.
Copy !req
1366. Okay.
Copy !req
1367. He wasn't right.
Copy !req
1368. You know that, don't you?
Copy !req
1369. J” the parts we can't tell
we carry them well j”
Copy !req
1370. j” but that doesn't mean
they're not hea vy j”
Copy !req
1371. j” the parts we can't tell
we carry them well j”
Copy !req
1372. j” but that doesn't mean
they're not hea vy j”
Copy !req
1373. j” the anonymous one noticed by none j”
Copy !req
1374. j” the parts we can't tell
we carry them well j”
Copy !req
1375. j” but that doesn't mean
they're not hea vy j”
Copy !req
1376. j” the parts we can't tell
we carry them well j”
Copy !req
1377. j” but that doesn't mean
they're not hea vy j”
Copy !req
1378. j” the parts we can't tell
we carry them well j”
Copy !req
1379. j” but that doesn't mean
they're not hea vy j”
Copy !req
1380. J” the anonymous ones j”
Copy !req
1381. j” who might just need this moment
to remind them j”
Copy !req
1382. j” that there are more anonymous ones j”
Copy !req
1383. j” the y're out there
if you take the time to find them j”
Copy !req
1384. J” just to know we're somehow not alone j”
Copy !req
1385. j” isn't that all we're e ver
really looking for? J”
Copy !req
1386. J” maybe we, we don't have to be j”
Copy !req
1387. j” anonymous anymore j”
Copy !req
1388. Can you imagine?
Copy !req
1389. Wh-what's wrong?
Copy !req
1390. Yep.
Copy !req
1391. - Hi.
- Alana, you have to take it down, okay?
Copy !req
1392. - The y've been through enough.
- I took it down already, Evan,
Copy !req
1393. but it doesn't matter
because it's everywhere.
Copy !req
1394. Zoe, it's me. Please call me back, okay?
I'm worried about you.
Copy !req
1395. - They have pictures of us now.
- Just put it away.
Copy !req
1396. "His parents act like they are bereft,
Copy !req
1397. but where were they
when their son was actually alive?"
Copy !req
1398. Please stop reading them.
Copy !req
1399. - Hey. Is Zoe here?
- She went home.
Copy !req
1400. Things really aren't good here.
Copy !req
1401. I know. I just... I had to come.
Copy !req
1402. I don't know.
Copy !req
1403. Did they hack our computers?
They hacked our emails?
Copy !req
1404. These people are adults.
Did you see their pictures?
Copy !req
1405. - Maybe let it ring.
Copy !req
1406. Hello?
Copy !req
1407. Yeah, have fun with your miserable life.
Copy !req
1408. - What did they say? What's the number?
- It's blocked.
Copy !req
1409. - Did they threaten you?
- No. It doesn't matter.
Copy !req
1410. I'm calling the police.
Copy !req
1411. Right now, maybe the best thing
to do is to just stay calm, all right?
Copy !req
1412. That's always your solution,
isn't it? Wait and see.
Copy !req
1413. - Wait and see, right?
- What are the police going to do?
Copy !req
1414. It's the Internet.
Are they gonna arrest the Internet?
Copy !req
1415. I had to beg you, every step
of the way, for therapy, for rehab.
Copy !req
1416. What? No, no.
Copy !req
1417. You went lurching
from one miracle cure to the next.
Copy !req
1418. Oh, you're... really?
Copy !req
1419. Because all he needed
was another $20,000 weekend yoga retreat.
Copy !req
1420. What was your alternative?
Copy !req
1421. Other than picking apart
everything that I did?
Copy !req
1422. How about putting him on one program
and sticking to it?
Copy !req
1423. Remember what he said the first time
that Connor tried to kill himself?
Copy !req
1424. - "He's just looking for attention.
- For Christ's sake.
Copy !req
1425. - He just wants attention."
- I'm not gonna sit here and defend myself!
Copy !req
1426. You couldn't understand him. You never
understood him because he wasn't yours.
Copy !req
1427. Mom, what the hell?
Copy !req
1428. I raised him from the time
he was three years old.
Copy !req
1429. He was getting better
and you refused to see it. Ask Evan.
Copy !req
1430. Tell them, Evan.
Copy !req
1431. Evan did everything that he could.
Copy !req
1432. Evan? Evan was in denial
of what was happening.
Copy !req
1433. Do not bring him into this.
Copy !req
1434. Read the note, Larry.
Read what he said.
Copy !req
1435. ”I just wish that
everything was different ”
Copy !req
1436. - I tried. But he was my son!
- He wanted to be better!
Copy !req
1437. - Please.
- I tried everything!
Copy !req
1438. Stop it! Just please stop!
Please stop fighting.
Copy !req
1439. He was trying to be better. He was trying!
Copy !req
1440. And he was failing.
Copy !req
1441. We failed him.
Copy !req
1442. No, you didn't. No, you didn't.
You didn't fail him.
Copy !req
1443. Read the note.
Copy !req
1444. He didn't write it.
Copy !req
1445. I wrote it.
Copy !req
1446. You didn't write Connor's suicide note.
Copy !req
1447. It was an assignment from my therapist.
Write a letter to yourself. A pep talk.
Copy !req
1448. "Dear Evan Hansen,
today's going to be a good day.
Copy !req
1449. - Here's why."
- I don't think that...
Copy !req
1450. I was supposed to bring it
to my appointment with me,
Copy !req
1451. but Connor took it, and then
I guess he must've had it with him...
Copy !req
1452. When you found him, so...
Copy !req
1453. What are you saying?
Copy !req
1454. We weren't friends.
Copy !req
1455. No. No, no, no.
Copy !req
1456. J” / never meant to make it such a mess j”
Copy !req
1457. j” / ne ver thought that
it would go this farj”
Copy !req
1458. there were emails. You showed us emails.
Copy !req
1459. J” so I just stand here sorry
searching for something to say j”
Copy !req
1460. j” something to say j”
Copy !req
1461. you knew about the orchard.
He took you to the orchard.
Copy !req
1462. That's where you broke your arm.
Copy !req
1463. I broke my arm in Ellison park.
Copy !req
1464. Um, by myself.
Copy !req
1465. But that day at the orchard...
Copy !req
1466. You and Connor at the orchard.
Copy !req
1467. J” words fail, words fail j”
Copy !req
1468. j” there's nothing I can say j”
Copy !req
1469. oh, god.
Copy !req
1470. But you said that you guys
would talk about me. He would...
Copy !req
1471. How could you do this?
Copy !req
1472. J” / guess / thought
I could be part of this j”
Copy !req
1473. j” / never had this kind of thing before j”
Copy !req
1474. j” / ne ver had that perfect girl j”
Copy !req
1475. j” who somehow could see
the good part of me j”
Copy !req
1476. j” lne ver had the dad who stuck it out j”
Copy !req
1477. j” no corny jokes or baseball gloves j”
Copy !req
1478. j” no mom who just was there j”
Copy !req
1479. j” cause mom was all that she had to be j”
Copy !req
1480. j” that's not a worthy explanation
I know there is none j”
Copy !req
1481. j” nothing can make sense
of all these things I've done j”
Copy !req
1482. j” words fail, words fail j”
Copy !req
1483. j” there's nothing I can say j”
Copy !req
1484. j” except sometimes you see
everything you wanted j”
Copy !req
1485. j” and sometimes you see
everything you wish you had j”
Copy !req
1486. j” and it's right there, right there
right there j”
Copy !req
1487. j” in front of you j”
Copy !req
1488. J” and you want to believe it's true j”
Copy !req
1489. J” so you make it true j”
Copy !req
1490. j” and you think j”
Copy !req
1491. j” ll/laybe everybody wants it j”
Copy !req
1492. j” and needs it j”
Copy !req
1493. j” a little bit too j”
Copy !req
1494. Zoe.
Copy !req
1495. I think it's time for you to go.
Copy !req
1496. Go away, Evan.
Copy !req
1497. It isn't fair, okay?
Copy !req
1498. You can't... you can't let people
just blame you and your parents.
Copy !req
1499. They need to know it was me.
I'm the one people should hate.
Copy !req
1500. Yeah, well, we're not telling anyone.
Copy !req
1501. Well, that's... I...
Copy !req
1502. You can't... you have to.
Copy !req
1503. It's not my decision. It's my mom's.
Copy !req
1504. She doesn't wanna ruin your life.
She's afraid you'll do something stupid.
Copy !req
1505. Like hurt yourself.
Copy !req
1506. She said they already lost one son.
Copy !req
1507. Can you just...
Copy !req
1508. Leave my family alone. Okay?
Copy !req
1509. J” this was just a sad invention j”
Copy !req
1510. j” /t wasn't real, / know j”
Copy !req
1511. j” but we were happyj”
Copy !req
1512. j” / guess / couldn't let that go j”
Copy !req
1513. j” / guess / couldn't give that up j”
Copy !req
1514. j” / guess / wanted to believe
cause if I just belie ve j”
Copy !req
1515. j” then / don't have to see
what's really there j”
Copy !req
1516. j” no, ID rather pretend j”
Copy !req
1517. j” I'm something better than
these broken parts j”
Copy !req
1518. j” pretend I'm something other than
this mess that I am j”
Copy !req
1519. j” cause then / don't have to look at it
and no one gets to look at it j”
Copy !req
1520. j” no, no one can really see j”
Copy !req
1521. j” cause I've learned
to slam on the brake j”
Copy !req
1522. j” before leven turn the keyj”
Copy !req
1523. j” before lmake the mistake j”
Copy !req
1524. j” before llead with the worst of me j”
Copy !req
1525. j” / never let them see j”
Copy !req
1526. j” the worst of me j”
Copy !req
1527. J” cause what if everyone saw? J”
Copy !req
1528. j” what ifeveryone knew? J”
Copy !req
1529. j” would they like what they saw? J”
Copy !req
1530. j” or would they hate it too? J”
Copy !req
1531. J” will I just keep on running away j”
Copy !req
1532. j” from what's true? J”
Copy !req
1533. j” all / ever do is run j”
Copy !req
1534. j” so how do I step in j”
Copy !req
1535. j” step into the sun? J”
Copy !req
1536. j” step into the sun j”
Copy !req
1537. Evan?
Copy !req
1538. Evan?
Copy !req
1539. Evan?
Copy !req
1540. Oh, honey.
Copy !req
1541. "Dear Evan Hansen"...
Copy !req
1542. You wrote this? Connor's note?
Copy !req
1543. I didn't know.
Copy !req
1544. No one did.
Copy !req
1545. No, honey, that's...
Copy !req
1546. That's not what I meant.
Copy !req
1547. I didn't know that you were...
Copy !req
1548. That you were hurting like that.
Copy !req
1549. That you felt...
Copy !req
1550. I didn't know.
Copy !req
1551. I lied.
Copy !req
1552. I lied about so many things.
Copy !req
1553. Not just Connor. Um...
Copy !req
1554. So, last summer...
Copy !req
1555. I just...
Copy !req
1556. I just felt so alone.
Copy !req
1557. You can tell me.
Copy !req
1558. The tree.
Copy !req
1559. I didn't fall.
Copy !req
1560. I let go.
Copy !req
1561. - Oh, Evan.
- Do you hate me now?
Copy !req
1562. You should. You should.
Copy !req
1563. If you knew who I am,
just how, just broken I am.
Copy !req
1564. I already know you.
Copy !req
1565. And I love you.
Copy !req
1566. I can promise you that...
Copy !req
1567. Someday...
Copy !req
1568. All of this is gonna feel like
a very long time ago.
Copy !req
1569. Your dad, um...
Copy !req
1570. Do you remember when he drove by
to get his things?
Copy !req
1571. It was a few weeks after he moved out.
Copy !req
1572. "Temporarily," we said.
Copy !req
1573. J” it was a February day j”
Copy !req
1574. j” when your dad came by
before gor'n ' away j”
Copy !req
1575. j” a u-haul truck in the drivewayj”
Copy !req
1576. j” the day it was suddenly real j”
Copy !req
1577. j” / told you not to some outside j”
Copy !req
1578. j” but you saw that truck
and you smiled so wide j”
Copy !req
1579. J” a real live truck in your drivewayj”
Copy !req
1580. j” we let you sit behind the wheel j”
Copy !req
1581. j” goodbye, goodbye j”
Copy !req
1582. j” now it's just me and my little guy j”
Copy !req
1583. j” and the house felt so big j”
Copy !req
1584. j” and / felt so small j”
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1585. j” the house felt so big j”
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1586. j” and / felt so small j”
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1587. j” that night / tucked you into bed j”
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1588. j” / wrll ne ver forget
how you sat up and said j”
Copy !req
1589. j"ls there another truck
comin ' to our drive way? J”
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1590. j” a truck that will
take ll/lomm y away?”j”
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1591. j” and the house felt so big j”
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1592. j” and / felt so small j”
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1593. j” the house felt so big j”
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1594. j”and/... j”
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1595. j” and / knew there would be
ll/loments that I 'd miss j”
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1596. j” and / knew there would be
space / couldn't fill j”
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1597. j” and / knew I'd come up shortj”
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1598. j” a million difierent ways j”
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1599. j” and/didj”
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1600. pand/doj”
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1601. j” and/ will j”
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1602. j” but like that February day j”
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1603. j” / will take your hand
squeeze it tightly and say j”
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1604. j"there is not another truck
in the drivewayj”
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1605. j” your mom isn't goin ' anywhere
your mom is sta yin ' right here ” j”
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1606. j” your mom isn't goin ' anywhere
your mom is sta yin ' right here j”
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1607. j” no matter what j”
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1608. j” /'ll be here j”
Copy !req
1609. j” when it all feels so big j”
Copy !req
1610. j” till it all feels so small j”
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1611. j” when it all feels so big j”
Copy !req
1612. j” till it all feels so small j”
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1613. j” till it all feels so small j”
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1614. Oh...
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1615. It's gonna get better, I promise.
Copy !req
1616. I was never friends with Connor Murphy.
Copy !req
1617. I lied.
Copy !req
1618. Repeatedly.
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1619. To his family, to Alana, to all of you.
Copy !req
1620. I'm not asking for your forgiveness.
I don't deserve it.
Copy !req
1621. But, um, please...
Copy !req
1622. Connor's family
doesn't deserve your hatred.
Copy !req
1623. I do.
Copy !req
1624. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1625. J” spent so many seasons
lost inside my mind j”
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1626. j” lost inside my mind j”
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1627. j” like a message in a bottle
I thought nobody would find j”
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1628. j” that nobody would find j”
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1629. j” I've been driftinj I've been dreamin'j”
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1630. j” / would land upon the shore j”
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1631. j” to a haven, to a harborj”
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1632. j” that felt so far before j”
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1633. j” well, today, todayj”
Copy !req
1634. j” what felt so far away
feels a little closerj”
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1635. j” for today, todayj”
Copy !req
1636. j” todayj”
Copy !req
1637. j” it feels a little closer j”
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1638. j” how long these days of darkness
at the bottom of a well j”
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1639. j” that old, familiar well j”
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1640. j” sittin ' heavy with these secrets
with nobody to tell j”
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1641. j” nobody to tell j”
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1642. j” high above, a streak of sunlight j”
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1643. j” and a wall too tail to climb j”
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1644. j” all the reaching, all the wanting j”
Copy !req
1645. j” just to tumble every time j”
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1646. - I think we got it.
Copy !req
1647. All right.
Copy !req
1648. J” but today, todayj”
Copy !req
1649. j” what felt so far away
feels a little closerj”
Copy !req
1650. j” for today, todayj”
Copy !req
1651. j” todayj”
Copy !req
1652. j” it feels a little closer j”
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1653. J” and the days carry on j”
Copy !req
1654. j” the clouds come rollin'in
and then the y're gone j”
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1655. j” as the days keep comin' on j”
Copy !req
1656. j” the midnight sky turns to dawn j”
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1657. J” today, todayj”
Copy !req
1658. j” what felt so far away
feels a little closerj”
Copy !req
1659. j” for today, todayj”
Copy !req
1660. j” what felt so far away
feels a little closerj”
Copy !req
1661. j” for today, todayj”
Copy !req
1662. j” todayj”
Copy !req
1663. j” it feels a little closer j”
Copy !req
1664. j” a little closerj”
Copy !req
1665. j” it feels a little closer j”
Copy !req
1666. j” a little closerj”
Copy !req
1667. j” it feels a little closer j”
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1668. You must start school pretty soon.
Copy !req
1669. Two more weeks.
Copy !req
1670. When do you leave for college?
Copy !req
1671. Um, actually, I decided
to take a year off, so...
Copy !req
1672. Just try to save some money. Get a job.
Copy !req
1673. Take some time.
Copy !req
1674. So, I'm taking classes
at the community college.
Copy !req
1675. I'll have credits to transfer
in the fall, so...
Copy !req
1676. - That's smart.
- Yeah. We'll see.
Copy !req
1677. I always picture
you and Connor here.
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1678. Eventhough”.
Copy !req
1679. This is my first time.
Copy !req
1680. It's nice.
Copy !req
1681. Peaceful.
Copy !req
1682. My parents come here all the time.
Copy !req
1683. We do picnics, like, every weekend.
Copy !req
1684. Lots of gluten-free sandwiches.
Copy !req
1685. It's helped them a lot, actually.
Copy !req
1686. Having this.
Copy !req
1687. What I did...
Copy !req
1688. I can't even...
Copy !req
1689. It's the worst thing anyone can do.
Copy !req
1690. I wish we could have met now.
Copy !req
1691. Today. For the first time.
Copy !req
1692. Me too.
Copy !req
1693. - I should probably...
- Yeah. Yeah, of course. Of course.
Copy !req
1694. Hey, can I just...
Copy !req
1695. Can I just ask you...
Copy !req
1696. Why did you want to meet here?
Copy !req
1697. I wanted to be sure that you saw this.
Copy !req
1698. He really loved it here.
Copy !req
1699. Dear Evan Hansen,
Copy !req
1700. today is gonna be a good day,
and here is why.
Copy !req
1701. Because today, no matter what else,
Copy !req
1702. today, at least you're you.
Copy !req
1703. No hiding, no lying.
And that's... that's enough.
Copy !req
1704. So no matter how hard it gets,
e ven if it feels...
Copy !req
1705. Impossible,
Copy !req
1706. this time you'll know.
Copy !req
1707. Don't let go.
Copy !req
1708. Just hold on...
Copy !req
1709. And keep going.
Copy !req
1710. Just keep going.
Copy !req
1711. J” todayj”
Copy !req
1712. j” todayj”
Copy !req
1713. j” todayj”
Copy !req
1714. j” it feels a little closer j”
Copy !req
1715. J” have you ever felt
like nobody was there? J”
Copy !req
1716. j” have you ever felt forgotten j”
Copy !req
1717. j” in the middle of nowhere? J”
Copy !req
1718. j” have you ever felt
like you could disappear? J”
Copy !req
1719. j” like you could fall j”
Copy !req
1720. j” and no one would hear? J”
Copy !req
1721. j” well, let that lonely feeling
wash a way j”
Copy !req
1722. j” maybe there's a reason
to believe you'll be okay j”
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1723. j” cause when you don't
feel strong enough to stand j”
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1724. j” you can reach j”
Copy !req
1725. j” reach out your hand j”
Copy !req
1726. j” andohj”
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1727. j” someone will come running j”
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1728. j” and / know j”
Copy !req
1729. j” the y'll take you home j”
Copy !req
1730. j” even when the dark
comes crashing through j”
Copy !req
1731. j” when you need a friend to carry you j”
Copy !req
1732. j” and when you're broken on the ground j”
Copy !req
1733. j” you will be found j”
Copy !req
1734. j” so let the sun come streaming in j”
Copy !req
1735. j” cause you'll reach up
and you'll rise again j”
Copy !req
1736. j” lift your head and look around j”
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1737. j” you will be found j”
Copy !req
1738. j” you will be found j”
Copy !req
1739. j” there's a place
where we don't have to feel unknown j”
Copy !req
1740. j” and every time you call out j”
Copy !req
1741. j” you're a little less alone j”
Copy !req
1742. j” oh, if you only say the word j”
Copy !req
1743. j” oh, from across the srlence j”
Copy !req
1744. j” your voice is heard j”
Copy !req
1745. j” even when the dark
comes crashing through j”
Copy !req
1746. j” when you need a friend to carry you j”
Copy !req
1747. j” and when you're broken on the ground j”
Copy !req
1748. j” you will be found j”
Copy !req
1749. j” so let the sun come streaming in j”
Copy !req
1750. j” cause you'll reach up
and you'll rise again j”
Copy !req
1751. j” lift your head and look around j”
Copy !req
1752. j” you will be found j”
Copy !req
1753. j” you will be found j”
Copy !req
1754. j” you will be found j”
Copy !req
1755. j” you will be found j”
Copy !req
1756. j” you will be found j”
Copy !req
1757. j” you will be found j”
Copy !req
1758. j” ah-ah j”
Copy !req
1759. j” out of the shadows
the morning is breaking j”
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1760. j” and all is new, and all is newj”
Copy !req
1761. j” it's filling up the empty
and suddenly I see j”
Copy !req
1762. j” that all is new j”
Copy !req
1763. j” all is newj”
Copy !req
1764. j” even when the dark
comes crashing through j”
Copy !req
1765. j” when you need a friend to carry you j”
Copy !req
1766. j” and when you're broken on the ground j”
Copy !req
1767. j” you will be found j”
Copy !req
1768. j” so let the sun come streaming in j”
Copy !req
1769. j” cause you'll reach up
and you'll rise again j”
Copy !req
1770. j” lift your head and look around j”
Copy !req
1771. j” you will be found j”
Copy !req
1772. J” ever look at all the people j”
Copy !req
1773. j” seem to know exactly how to be? J”
Copy !req
1774. j” how to be, how to be nowj”
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1775. j” how to be j”
Copy !req
1776. j” you think they don't need
piles of prescnptions j”
Copy !req
1777. j” to function naturally j”
Copy !req
1778. j” functioning natural j”
Copy !req
1779. j” take a look
and you might just catch it j”
Copy !req
1780. j” stay a minute more j”
Copy !req
1781. j” ll/linute more, minute more now j”
Copy !req
1782. j” ll/linute more j”
Copy !req
1783. j” there's a little moment
after the sunny smile j”
Copy !req
1784. j” that eyes fall to the fioorj”
Copy !req
1785. j” to the floor, to the floor nowj”
Copy !req
1786. j” to the fioorj”
Copy !req
1787. j” and then truth starts peeking through j”
Copy !req
1788. j” peeking through j”
Copy !req
1789. j” they don't lie like me and you j”
Copy !req
1790. j” they can fake a smile too j”
Copy !req
1791. j” the anonymous ones j”
Copy !req
1792. j” ne ver let you see
the hate they carry j”
Copy !req
1793. j” they carry, they carry, they carry j”
Copy !req
1794. j” all those anonymous ones j”
Copy !req
1795. j” ne ver name the quiet pain they Bury j”
Copy !req
1796. j” they Bury, they Bury, they Bury j”
Copy !req
1797. j” keep on keeping secrets
that they think they have to hide j”
Copy !req
1798. j” what ifeverybody's secret
is they ha ve that secret side? J”
Copy !req
1799. j” and to know, to know we're not alone j”
Copy !req
1800. j” is all we're hoping forj”
Copy !req
1801. j” / don't wanna be anonymous j”
Copy !req
1802. j” / ain't gotta be anonymous j”
Copy !req
1803. j” / don't wanna be anonymous anymore j”
Copy !req
1804. J” anymore j”
Copy !req
1805. J” spot the girl who stays in motion j”
Copy !req
1806. j” spins so fast so she won't fall j”
Copy !req
1807. j” world is spinning so fast
spinning so fast j”
Copy !req
1808. j” she's built a wall of her achie vements
to keep out the question j”
Copy !req
1809. j” without it
is she worth anything at all? J”
Copy !req
1810. j” and truth starts peeking through j”
Copy !req
1811. j” they don't lie like me and you j”
Copy !req
1812. j” they can fake a smile too j”
Copy !req
1813. j” the anonymous ones j”
Copy !req
1814. j” ne ver let you see
the hate they carry j”
Copy !req
1815. j” they carry, they carry, they carry j”
Copy !req
1816. j” all those anonymous ones j”
Copy !req
1817. j” ne ver name the quiet pain they Bury j”
Copy !req
1818. j” they Bury, they Bury, they Bury j”
Copy !req
1819. j” / don't wanna be anonymous j”
Copy !req
1820. j” / ain't gotta be anonymous j”
Copy !req
1821. j” / don't wanna be anonymous anymore j”
Copy !req
1822. j” the parts we can't tell
we carry them well j”
Copy !req
1823. j” but that doesn't mean
they're not hea vy j”
Copy !req
1824. j” the parts we can't tell
we carry them well j”
Copy !req
1825. j” but that doesn't mean
they're not hea vy j”
Copy !req
1826. j” the parts we can't tell
we carry them well j”
Copy !req
1827. j” but that doesn't mean
they're not hea vy j”
Copy !req
1828. j” heavyj”
Copy !req
1829. j” the anonymous ones j”
Copy !req
1830. j” ne ver let you see
the hate they carry j”
Copy !req
1831. j” they carry, they carry, they carry j”
Copy !req
1832. j” all the anonymous ones j”
Copy !req
1833. j” ne ver name the quiet pain they Bury j”
Copy !req
1834. j” keep on keeping secrets
that they think they have to hide j”
Copy !req
1835. j” what ifeverybody's secret
is they ha ve that secret side? J”
Copy !req
1836. j” and to know, to know we're not alone j”
Copy !req
1837. j” is all we're hoping forj”
Copy !req
1838. j” / don't wanna be anonymous j”
Copy !req
1839. j” / ain't gotta be anonymous j”
Copy !req
1840. j” / don't wanna be anonymous anymore j”
Copy !req