1. Dear Evan Hansen...Copy !req
2. Today is going to be an amazing day,Copy !req
3. and here's why.Copy !req
4. Because today,
all you have to do is just be yourself.Copy !req
5. But also confident.
That's-that's important.Copy !req
6. And interesting.
Easy to talk to.Copy !req
7. Approachable.
But mostly just be yourself.Copy !req
8. You know, that's number one, obviously.
Be yourself.Copy !req
9. But, like,
a confident version of yourself,Copy !req
10. like, approachable and interestingCopy !req
11. and not weird or anxious or depressed.Copy !req
12. But you're not weird
or anxious or depressed.Copy !req
13. I don't even know
why you're bringing it up.Copy !req
14. You can't be scared
to talk to other people.Copy !req
15. You said that you'd be better.Copy !req
16. You said this year would be different.Copy !req
17. You're over-thinking it.Copy !req
18. Do you like having no friends?Copy !req
19. All you have to do is just be yourself.Copy !req
20. So you just didn't eat last night?Copy !req
21. I wasn't hungry.Copy !req
22. You're a senior in high school.Copy !req
23. You need to be able
to order dinner for yourself.Copy !req
24. You can do it all online.Copy !req
25. You don't have to talk
to anybody.Copy !req
26. Okay, well, that's not, that's
not true, actually, though,Copy !req
27. because, um, the credit card's
expired, so you have to meetCopy !req
28. the delivery person
at the door, you know?Copy !req
29. You have to pay them
with cash at the door.Copy !req
30. You have to greet them.Copy !req
31. You know, you have
to figure out the right,Copy !req
32. the right, um...
The-the proper greeting.Copy !req
33. Okay.Copy !req
34. This is what you're supposed
to be working on, sweetheart,Copy !req
35. with Dr. Sherman.Copy !req
36. Have you been doing those
letters he wants you to do?Copy !req
37. "Dear Evan Hansen."Copy !req
38. I mean, I've definitely...
I-I've been trying to.Copy !req
39. Those letters are important,
honey.Copy !req
40. You have to keep working.Copy !req
41. We can't go back to where
you were last year, right?Copy !req
42. Um, you have an appointment
this afternoon.Copy !req
43. I'm working till 6:00,Copy !req
44. so you're gonna
have to take the bus.Copy !req
45. Hey.Copy !req
46. I thought you could go aroundCopy !req
47. and ask all the other kids
to sign your cast.Copy !req
48. Perfect icebreaker, right?Copy !req
49. - What happened to your shirt?
- There was a stain on it.Copy !req
50. - Wha... but it's brand-new.
- Yes, I know.Copy !req
51. I was... I'm so mad.Copy !req
52. Evan.Copy !req
53. What?Copy !req
54. It's Zoe MurphyCopy !req
55. in that hot band shirt
you love so much.Copy !req
56. Can you just...
Can you please stop?Copy !req
57. Well, hey,
maybe she's into you, too.Copy !req
58. Maybe you should talk to her,
tell her how you feel.Copy !req
59. I've tried talking to her.Copy !req
60. Really?Copy !req
61. Yes. Yeah, I...Copy !req
62. I stayed afterwards,
um, last yearCopy !req
63. after the spring
jazz band concert,Copy !req
64. but, um, I didn't go up to herCopy !req
65. because I was worried
that my hands were sweaty.Copy !req
66. Which they weren't even,
they weren't even that sweaty.Copy !req
67. I just... I was worried
that they were sweaty,Copy !req
68. and sometimes
worrying that they're sweatyCopy !req
69. makes them sweaty,
so I just went to the bathroomCopy !req
70. and I put 'em under, like,
the hand dryer thing,Copy !req
71. but then they were still sweaty.Copy !req
72. They were just, um...
They were just also warm.Copy !req
73. I was kidding.Copy !req
74. You obviously should not
talk to her.Copy !req
75. You are a literal disaster.Copy !req
76. Go, bobcats!Copy !req
77. Go, bobcats.Copy !req
78. So awesome.Copy !req
79. So awesome, everyone.Copy !req
80. Phenomenal, really.Copy !req
81. You know what's not phenomenal?Copy !req
82. Deforestation.Copy !req
83. So, what happened
to your arm exactly?Copy !req
84. Um, I was climbing a tree,
and I fell.Copy !req
85. It was stupid.Copy !req
86. You fell out of a tree?
What are you, five?Copy !req
87. Well, um...Copy !req
88. So, actually,
I-I worked this summerCopy !req
89. as an apprentice park ranger
at Ellison state park.Copy !req
90. It's a funny story,
though, because...Copy !req
91. There was, like, this solid
ten minutes after I fellCopy !req
92. where I just lay there
on the ground,Copy !req
93. um, waiting for someone
to come get me, you know?Copy !req
94. I was like, "any second now."
You know?Copy !req
95. I just kept... I, like...
I was saying to myself,Copy !req
96. "any second now.
Here they come." So...Copy !req
97. Did they?Copy !req
98. No, nobody came.Copy !req
99. That's the, um...
That's what's funny.Copy !req
100. That's not funny.Copy !req
101. Model U.N...Copy !req
102. Well, anyways, um, how was...
Did you, um...Copy !req
103. How was camp?Copy !req
104. Well, I put on 13 pounds
of pure muscle.Copy !req
105. Also, I hooked up
with this Brazilian dudeCopy !req
106. who is literally a supermodel.Copy !req
107. So, yeah, hope that answers
your question.Copy !req
108. So let's have mother nature's
back so that she'll have ours.Copy !req
109. Yeah! Yeah!Copy !req
110. All right, thank you, Alana.
Very inspirational.Copy !req
111. All right,
so let's have a great year,Copy !req
112. and, uh, go, bobcats!Copy !req
113. Hey, um...Copy !req
114. Would you want to sign my cast?Copy !req
115. Uh, you could,
you could be the first.Copy !req
116. Why would I do that?Copy !req
117. Well, I just... I thought, um,
because we're friends and...Copy !req
118. We're family friends, Evan.Copy !req
119. That's an entirely
different thing.Copy !req
120. Please respect that.Copy !req
121. Connor, I'm loving
this manicure.Copy !req
122. - Very school shooter chic.
- You're such an idiot.Copy !req
123. That is so not...Copy !req
124. You think that's funny?Copy !req
125. What? No. Not-not at all.Copy !req
126. Then stop laughing!Copy !req
127. Hey.Copy !req
128. I'm sorry about my brother.Copy !req
129. He's a psycho.Copy !req
130. Evan, right?Copy !req
131. Evan?Copy !req
132. That-that's your,
that's your name?Copy !req
133. Y-Yeah, it is. It is. Sorry.Copy !req
134. It's Evan. It's Evan. I'm sorry.Copy !req
135. Why are you sorry?Copy !req
136. 'Cause you s-s... you said Evan,
and then I said it, you know?Copy !req
137. I just repeated it,
which is, um...Copy !req
138. That's just really annoying
when people do that, so...Copy !req
139. I'm Zoe.Copy !req
140. Sorry.
I should... I think... sorry.Copy !req
141. Dear Evan Hansen,Copy !req
142. turns out this wasn't
an amazing day after all.Copy !req
143. This isn't gonna be an
amazing week or an amazing yearCopy !req
144. because why would it be?Copy !req
145. Oh, I know. Because there's Zoe.Copy !req
146. Who I don't even know
and who doesn't know me, but...Copy !req
147. Maybe if I did, maybe if
I could just talk to her,Copy !req
148. maybe things would be better.Copy !req
149. Or...Copy !req
150. Maybe nothing would be
different at all.Copy !req
151. I wish everything was different.Copy !req
152. I wish I was different.Copy !req
153. I wish I was part of something.Copy !req
154. I wish that anything I said
mattered to anyone.Copy !req
155. But it doesn't,
and it never did.Copy !req
156. And it never will.Copy !req
157. I mean, face it, would anyone
even notice if I just...Copy !req
158. Disappeared tomorrow?Copy !req
159. Sincerely, your best
and most dearest friend,Copy !req
160. me.Copy !req
161. Hey.Copy !req
162. What happened to your arm?Copy !req
163. Um...Copy !req
164. I was climbing a tree,
and I fell.Copy !req
165. You fell out of a tree?Copy !req
166. That's the saddest thing
I've ever heard.Copy !req
167. I know.Copy !req
168. S-Sorry, um, I think I
accidentally printed something.Copy !req
169. Yeah, we're all waiting.Copy !req
170. Um, no one signed your cast.Copy !req
171. No, I-I know.Copy !req
172. I'll sign it.Copy !req
173. Oh, you don't...
You really don't have to...Copy !req
174. Do you have a sharpie?Copy !req
175. Oh, um, I don't. Shoot.Copy !req
176. Oh, here's one.Copy !req
177. Nice.Copy !req
178. Wow, that's great.Copy !req
179. Now we can both pretend
we have friends.Copy !req
180. Uh, "dear Evan Hansen."
Here you go.Copy !req
181. Y-Yeah, that's mine.
That's mine.Copy !req
182. - I'll... I can take it, sorry.
- "Because there's Zoe..."Copy !req
183. Is this about my sister?Copy !req
184. What? No, no.
Who's-who's your sister?Copy !req
185. - You wanted me to find this?
- What?Copy !req
186. You saw I was here,
so you started writing thisCopy !req
187. - and you started talking to me.
- No.Copy !req
188. No, you started talking to me.Copy !req
189. So that I would read
some creepy shitCopy !req
190. about my sister
and freak out, right?Copy !req
191. - Why would I do that?
- So then you can tell everyoneCopy !req
192. that I'm crazy. Right?Copy !req
193. - Right?
- Gentlemen!Copy !req
194. No, I really...Copy !req
195. Look, I really need that back,
so can...Copy !req
196. Look, can you please
just give it back?Copy !req
197. Just-just please don't
show it to anyone.Copy !req
198. Connor!Copy !req
199. Come on.Copy !req
200. Shit, shit.Copy !req
201. Hi.Copy !req
202. Hi, honey. I'm so sorry.Copy !req
203. Erica called in at the
last minute with a stomach bug,Copy !req
204. and there's only
one other nurse on tonight,Copy !req
205. so I-I volunteered
to take her shift.Copy !req
206. I hope you weren't
waiting for me to eat.Copy !req
207. - No, I already ate.
- Um, it's just they, uh,Copy !req
208. they announced
more budget cuts this morning,Copy !req
209. so anything I can do to showCopy !req
210. that I'm a team player,
you know?Copy !req
211. - How was your day?
- Fine.Copy !req
212. It was, it was pretty good.Copy !req
213. Yeah? You know, I-I texted
with Meera this morning,Copy !req
214. and she said that Jared wasCopy !req
215. really looking forward
to seeing you and reconnecting.Copy !req
216. I thought that was nice.Copy !req
217. Yeah, he's so nice.Copy !req
218. - How was Dr. Sherman?
- Pretty good.Copy !req
219. Any change to your meds?Copy !req
220. Um, no.Copy !req
221. Oh, god, here he comes.
Um, all right, I-I-I...Copy !req
222. All right, love you. Bye.Copy !req
223. Okay, I love you...Copy !req
224. Too.Copy !req
225. A letter to yourself.
I mean, what is that,Copy !req
226. like some kind of sex thing?Copy !req
227. No. No, it's not a sex thing.Copy !req
228. It's... it was an assignment
from my therapist.Copy !req
229. Ew. Why-why are you
telling me this?Copy !req
230. Well, I didn't know
who else to tell.Copy !req
231. You're my only f...
family friend.Copy !req
232. Oh, that's sad.Copy !req
233. Look, Connor isn't here
again today.Copy !req
234. That's-that's
three days in a row.Copy !req
235. And h-he hasn't done anything
with it yet, you know,Copy !req
236. like put it online or whatever,Copy !req
237. because I've-I've been checking.Copy !req
238. So, you know, maybe he just...
Maybe he forgot, right?Copy !req
239. Right. Right.Copy !req
240. Or maybe he didn't,Copy !req
241. because he's definitely
gonna put it online.Copy !req
242. Dude, Connor Murphy is batshit.Copy !req
243. Don't you remember when
he threw a printer at Mrs. GCopy !req
244. in the second grade because
he couldn't be line leader?Copy !req
245. Like, he was seven.Copy !req
246. Just imagine
what he's capable of now.Copy !req
247. Evan Hansen, please reportCopy !req
248. to Mr. Howard's office.Copy !req
249. Oh, damn.Copy !req
250. Evan.Copy !req
251. Connor Murphy's mother and
stepfather are here to see you.Copy !req
252. They want to speak in private.Copy !req
253. Hi.Copy !req
254. Hello.Copy !req
255. Why don't you go ahead, honey.Copy !req
256. I'm going as fast as I can.Copy !req
257. Well, that's not
what I said, is it?Copy !req
258. This is...Copy !req
259. Connor wanted you to have this.Copy !req
260. Yeah, we didn't know
you were friends.Copy !req
261. Oh, well, we didn't thinkCopy !req
262. Connor had any friends,
frankly, and...Copy !req
263. And then we see this note,
and it seems to suggestCopy !req
264. pretty clearly that
you and Connor were, uh...Copy !req
265. Or at least for Connor...Copy !req
266. "Dear Evan Hansen."
He addressed it to you.Copy !req
267. He wrote it to you.Copy !req
268. These are the words that
he wanted to share with you.Copy !req
269. His last words.Copy !req
270. Connor took his own life.Copy !req
271. He what?Copy !req
272. This is all we found with him.Copy !req
273. He had it folded up
in his pocket.Copy !req
274. But this is...Copy !req
275. I'm sorry, Connor didn't...
He...Copy !req
276. He didn't write this.Copy !req
277. Connor didn't,
Connor didn't write this.Copy !req
278. What-what does that mean?Copy !req
279. Well, he's obviously in shock.Copy !req
280. - I mean, if Connor didn't write this...
- I'm so sorry.Copy !req
281. Can I just...
I should probably go, please.Copy !req
282. No, you don't understand.
This is all that we have.Copy !req
283. This is the only thing
that we have left.Copy !req
284. - Cynthia, listen to me.
- No. No. Don't-don't go.Copy !req
285. Okay, then you take it.
Please take it, okay?Copy !req
286. No. No, don't go.Copy !req
287. Don't. Please stay. Please.Copy !req
288. His best
and most dearest friend.Copy !req
289. That's-that's Connor.Copy !req
290. Connor Murphy.Copy !req
291. Holy shit.Copy !req
292. They invited me for dinner.Copy !req
293. They want to know more stuff
about Connor and me,Copy !req
294. about our... friendship.Copy !req
295. - A-And you said yes?
- I froze.Copy !req
296. Well... what are you
gonna tell them?Copy !req
297. I mean, the truth.Copy !req
298. I-I don't know, man.Copy !req
299. I mean, are you really
gonna tell these peopleCopy !req
300. that the only thing
they have left of their sonCopy !req
301. is a sex letter
that you wrote to yourself?Copy !req
302. Hey.Copy !req
303. I'm so sorry.Copy !req
304. What the hell was that?Copy !req
305. I don't know.Copy !req
306. Oh, my god,
they were so sad, his parents.Copy !req
307. I mean, his-his mom was just...Copy !req
308. I've never seen anyone
so sad before.Copy !req
309. I have to tell them.Copy !req
310. You're early.Copy !req
311. Oh. S-Sorry.Copy !req
312. Sit.Copy !req
313. I hope you're hungry.Copy !req
314. So...Copy !req
315. You and Connor.Copy !req
316. You probably spent
a lot of time together, I bet.Copy !req
317. So, um, not...Copy !req
318. Not really, actually.Copy !req
319. - Uh, the thing is that I...
- We looked through his phone.Copy !req
320. His texts, emails.Copy !req
321. We didn't find anything
from you.Copy !req
322. Yeah, no, I know.Copy !req
323. - I know.
- He set up different accounts,Copy !req
324. ones we couldn't find.Copy !req
325. He knew you read his emails.Copy !req
326. Well, somebody had to be
the bad guy.Copy !req
327. Well, if you did have anyCopy !req
328. emails or conversations
between the two of you,Copy !req
329. we'd love to see anything.Copy !req
330. - Well...
- Yeah, it's-it's weird.Copy !req
331. Th-the only time
I saw you two together wasCopy !req
332. when he was screaming in
your face at school last week.Copy !req
333. He was screaming at you?Copy !req
334. Yeah, yeah, um...Copy !req
335. Well, that wasn't very nice.Copy !req
336. Well, Connor wasn't very nice,
so that actually makes sense.Copy !req
337. I think that everybody
at this table can agreeCopy !req
338. that Connor was, um...Copy !req
339. A complicated person.Copy !req
340. No, he was a bad person.Copy !req
341. - Zoe, please.
- Don't pretend like you don't agree with me.Copy !req
342. You refuse to remember
any of the good things.Copy !req
343. Because there were
no good things.Copy !req
344. What-what were the good things?Copy !req
345. I'm not having this conversationCopy !req
346. - in front of our guest.
- No, tell us the good things.Copy !req
347. What were the good things?Copy !req
348. - Family day at sunny Glen?
- Zoe!Copy !req
349. This is not the time.Copy !req
350. Who knew rehab
could be so much fun?Copy !req
351. There were good things.Copy !req
352. I'm not the only one.Copy !req
353. You remember, right?Copy !req
354. Right.Copy !req
355. Of course.Copy !req
356. Yes, of course
there were good things.Copy !req
357. Tell us something.Copy !req
358. Please, Evan.Copy !req
359. Right, um...Copy !req
360. S... uh, Connor and I...Copy !req
361. Uh, I d... I don't know, um...Copy !req
362. We had a really great...Copy !req
363. We had a really great time
together, um...Copy !req
364. This one day recently.Copy !req
365. That's something good,
um, that I remember.Copy !req
366. That day.Copy !req
367. Um...Copy !req
368. Yeah, that awesome day at the...Copy !req
369. Um, trees.Copy !req
370. - Trees?
- Never mind, never mind.Copy !req
371. I'm sorry, I don't, I don't...
I shouldn't have said anything,Copy !req
372. and I-I knew it was stupid,
so I'm sorry...Copy !req
373. You don't mean the orchard,
do you?Copy !req
374. He took you to the apple orchard?Copy !req
375. - When?
- Uh, once.Copy !req
376. Just-just once. That once.Copy !req
377. I thought that place closed
years ago.Copy !req
378. Well, the hiking trails are
still open though, aren't they?Copy !req
379. We used to go to the orchard
all of the time.Copy !req
380. We'd do picnics there.Copy !req
381. Do you remember that, Zoe?Copy !req
382. Yeah, I do.Copy !req
383. And you and Connor would fly
that little toy planeCopy !req
384. until you crashed it
into the creek.Copy !req
385. That was an emergency landing.Copy !req
386. I can't believe
that he took you there.Copy !req
387. I bet you had fun.Copy !req
388. I bet the two of you... I...Copy !req
389. I bet that was fun.Copy !req
390. Yeah.Copy !req
391. We did. We did.Copy !req
392. The whole day.Copy !req
393. Uh, it-it was just...Copy !req
394. What was the name of that
ice cream place that we loved?Copy !req
395. Gifford's?Copy !req
396. A la mode.Copy !req
397. That's it. A la mode.Copy !req
398. And they had
this homemade hot fudge.Copy !req
399. And we'd sit in that Meadow
by the pine trees,Copy !req
400. and you and your brother would
look for four-leaf clovers.Copy !req
401. I'd completely forgotten
about that place.Copy !req
402. Well, I guess Connor didn't,
did he?Copy !req
403. He's come to get me.Copy !req
404. Thank you, Evan.Copy !req
405. Thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you.Copy !req
406. I mean,
they think you were lovers.Copy !req
407. - You realize that, right?
- Oh, my god.Copy !req
408. I thought you were gonna
tell them the truth.Copy !req
409. I-I-I tried, but then I just...Copy !req
410. I got nervous
and I started talking.Copy !req
411. And then once I started,
I just...Copy !req
412. Couldn't stop.Copy !req
413. They didn't want me to stop.Copy !req
414. What else did you say to them?Copy !req
415. Uh, his mom thinks that
we wrote emails to each other.Copy !req
416. Oh, perfect.Copy !req
417. Sh-she thinks he had,
like, secret accounts.Copy !req
418. Ha, yes. Secret email accounts.Copy !req
419. That's what all the cool kids are doing.Copy !req
420. Hansen! Kalwani!Copy !req
421. Pick it up!Copy !req
422. - No, thank you.
- What was that?Copy !req
423. I said thank you
for the encouragement!Copy !req
424. Fascist.Copy !req
425. She wants to see the emails.Copy !req
426. And now you want me to make
a bunch of fake emails for you.Copy !req
427. - Classic.
- You know how to do that?Copy !req
428. - It's simple coding.
- But you failed coding.Copy !req
429. If you consider
a d-minus failing.Copy !req
430. Just so we're clear,Copy !req
431. I charge a minimum
of two grand per email,Copy !req
432. and that is a floor,
not a ceiling.Copy !req
433. - $2,000?
- 500.Copy !req
434. I didn't even ask for your help.Copy !req
435. 250, bottom line.
Take it or leave it.Copy !req
436. I could probably
give you 20 bucks.Copy !req
437. Fine, but I'm not gonna act
like I'm happy about it.Copy !req
438. Why would you write that?Copy !req
439. I'm just trying
to make it erotic.Copy !req
440. Look, if you can't
take this seriously, then...Copy !req
441. Ugh, calm yourself, honey.Copy !req
442. I just want to get this
over with.Copy !req
443. - "Bad"?
- Has been rough.Copy !req
444. - Kinky.
- Please stop.Copy !req
445. - Very specific.
- Shut up.Copy !req
446. "Smoking drugs"?Copy !req
447. Just fix it!Copy !req
448. Are we done?Copy !req
449. Well, I mean, I can't
just show them one email.Copy !req
450. I want to show that I was,
like, a good friend.Copy !req
451. That I was trying
to help him, you know?Copy !req
452. Oh, my god.Copy !req
453. No.Copy !req
454. - What the hell?
- My bad.Copy !req
455. I can't remember the last time
that I heard him laugh,Copy !req
456. but the two of them,
if you read these...Copy !req
457. I think if you could take
ten minutesCopy !req
458. and actually read
these emails...Copy !req
459. I'm looking at them right now.Copy !req
460. Zoe. Look what Evan sent us.Copy !req
461. They're emails
from your brother.Copy !req
462. I printed them out.Copy !req
463. Oh. Take that, trees.Copy !req
464. - How was school?
- Terrific.Copy !req
465. All of a sudden,
people I've never metCopy !req
466. want to be my best friend.Copy !req
467. I'm the dead kid's sister,
didn't you know?Copy !req
468. I'm sure they mean well.Copy !req
469. I'm sure they don't.Copy !req
470. She needs time.Copy !req
471. No, Larry,
she needs her parents.Copy !req
472. Enjoy the game.Copy !req
473. Can I come in?Copy !req
474. Oh.Copy !req
475. You don't have to stop playing.Copy !req
476. How was band?Copy !req
477. You know, he-he talks about
you playing guitar,Copy !req
478. in one of his emails, at
the spring concert last year.Copy !req
479. Really?Copy !req
480. Yeah.Copy !req
481. Does he, does he talk aboutCopy !req
482. when he disappeared
for two days?Copy !req
483. But then he called me and
asked me to come pick him up.Copy !req
484. He wanted to come home,Copy !req
485. but he wasn't ready
to talk to you yet,Copy !req
486. so I took the bus all the way
downtown to get him,Copy !req
487. and guess what.Copy !req
488. All he really wanted was money.Copy !req
489. And I gave it to him
because I was 12.Copy !req
490. He was struggling.Copy !req
491. How about the time he tried
to punch through my door,Copy !req
492. screaming at
the top of his lungs,Copy !req
493. saying he was gonna kill me
for no reason?Copy !req
494. Is that email in there?Copy !req
495. We're all grieving
in our own way.Copy !req
496. You might consider reading
these when you're ready.Copy !req
497. They might help
more than you think.Copy !req
498. They did a whole thing
about them on NPR yesterday,Copy !req
499. these-these essay contests.Copy !req
500. And if you win,Copy !req
501. it doesn't count against
any financial aid.Copy !req
502. You know, so $5,000 here
or $3,000 there.Copy !req
503. It adds up, and we're gonna needCopy !req
504. all the help we can get
with college.Copy !req
505. I mean, unless your stepmother
has some trust fund for youCopy !req
506. that I don't know about
with all those fabulous tipsCopy !req
507. - she made cocktail waitressing.
- Huh.Copy !req
508. Right?Copy !req
509. Mm.Copy !req
510. I got a...Copy !req
511. I got an email
from your school yesterday,Copy !req
512. um, about that boy
that-that killed himself.Copy !req
513. Connor Murphy?Copy !req
514. Yeah.Copy !req
515. I didn't really know him, so...Copy !req
516. You know, if you ever
want to talk about anything...Copy !req
517. You know, I mean, I mean,
I know that latelyCopy !req
518. it feels like
I'm-I'm always working.Copy !req
519. - It's fine.
- But I'm-I'm-I'm here,Copy !req
520. and if I... if I'm not here,
I'm just a phone call awayCopy !req
521. or an email or a text,
you know, whatever.Copy !req
522. I know.Copy !req
523. It says "Connor" on your cast.Copy !req
524. Oh.Copy !req
525. No, no, yeah. Um...Copy !req
526. - You said you didn't know him.
- Sorry, I didn't.Copy !req
527. Um...Copy !req
528. It's in memory, so, like...Copy !req
529. Y-You know,
kids are, like, um...Copy !req
530. They're writing
his name on-on...Copy !req
531. Lockers and stuff like that.Copy !req
532. Oh.Copy !req
533. Um...Copy !req
534. That's lovely.
You know, in memory.Copy !req
535. Hmm.Copy !req
536. Hey.Copy !req
537. Tuesday. What are you doing?Copy !req
538. When's the last time
we did taco Tuesday?Copy !req
539. That'd be great.Copy !req
540. Really?Copy !req
541. Yeah.Copy !req
542. So the memorial's
really just an opportunityCopy !req
543. for all of us to come together
as a communityCopy !req
544. and to remember Connor
and celebrate who he was.Copy !req
545. Would you want to speak
or perform?Copy !req
546. I didn't really know him.
I'm sorry.Copy !req
547. - That's okay.
- Bye.Copy !req
548. Want a wristband?Copy !req
549. Oh, yes. Yeah. Okay.Copy !req
550. Thank you.Copy !req
551. You were friends
with him, right?Copy !req
552. I saw him sign your cast
in the library,Copy !req
553. and you started arguing
about something.Copy !req
554. - Were you friends with him?
- We weren't close.Copy !req
555. We presented together o-on
Huck Finn in the tenth grade,Copy !req
556. but he probably didn't
tell you that.Copy !req
557. Um, no, no, I didn't know.Copy !req
558. I always really liked him.Copy !req
559. It seemed like
he didn't really careCopy !req
560. what anyone else thought, and...Copy !req
561. I thought
that was pretty remarkable.Copy !req
562. Well, I'm putting together
a memorial for himCopy !req
563. at school on Friday.Copy !req
564. If you wanted to do something...Copy !req
565. Oh. Um...Copy !req
566. Sorry, I-I...Copy !req
567. I-I probably w-would
rather not, if that's okay.Copy !req
568. Yeah, sure.Copy !req
569. If you change your mind...Copy !req
570. Just text me.Copy !req
571. Okay.Copy !req
572. Mom.Copy !req
573. My mom realized
we were out of ice cream,Copy !req
574. so they went to go get more.Copy !req
575. Did you park in the driveway?Copy !req
576. 'Cause if you park on the
street, they'll ticket you.Copy !req
577. The people in this neighborhood
are monsters.Copy !req
578. Um, no, I didn't,
I didn't, um...Copy !req
579. I took the bus.
My mom needed the car for work.Copy !req
580. - What about your dad?
- My dad.Copy !req
581. Um, he lives in Colorado, so...Copy !req
582. He left when I was seven.Copy !req
583. That sucks.Copy !req
584. Mine died when I was one, so...Copy !req
585. I sort of win.Copy !req
586. - Sorry.
- Thanks.Copy !req
587. It's fine.Copy !req
588. I-I don't even really
remember him, to be honest.Copy !req
589. Connor did, though, a little.Copy !req
590. That's terrible.Copy !req
591. Yeah.Copy !req
592. And then Larry showed up,
fixed everything.Copy !req
593. For a while, at least.Copy !req
594. Yeah.Copy !req
595. Most people, with Connor,
they just would've been like,Copy !req
596. "see ya," but he's the only dad
we ever really knew, so...Copy !req
597. Wow, your mom...
I didn't, I didn't realize.Copy !req
598. Yeah, well.Copy !req
599. She's in total denial now.Copy !req
600. So is Larry.Copy !req
601. I mean, he didn't even cry
at the funeral.Copy !req
602. I'm sorry.Copy !req
603. Not as sorry as you're gonna be.Copy !req
604. - Oh, is-is that the...
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
605. Gluten-free apple pie? You bet.Copy !req
606. It-it looks...Copy !req
607. Inedible?Copy !req
608. It is.Copy !req
609. Just be glad we get to have
real ice cream.Copy !req
610. My mom was Buddhist last year,Copy !req
611. so we couldn't have
any animal products.Copy !req
612. She was b... um, Buddhist
last year but not this year?Copy !req
613. Yep.
That's sort of what she does.Copy !req
614. She gets into
a lot of different things.Copy !req
615. - Mm.
- For a while, it was Pilates.Copy !req
616. The secret.Copy !req
617. Buddhism. Et cetera.Copy !req
618. It's cool that she's interested
in so much different stuff.Copy !req
619. Yeah, she's not, though.Copy !req
620. That's just what happens
when you're richCopy !req
621. and you don't have a job.Copy !req
622. You get a little crazy.Copy !req
623. Well, my mom always saysCopy !req
624. it's better to be rich
than poor, so...Copy !req
625. Yeah, well, your mom's
probably never been rich, then.Copy !req
626. Yeah, you've probably
never been poor.Copy !req
627. Oh, my god, I can't believe
I just said that.Copy !req
628. I'm so sorry.Copy !req
629. Wow. I didn't realizeCopy !req
630. you were capable of saying
something that wasn't nice.Copy !req
631. I'm n... I'm not.
I'm really sorry.Copy !req
632. You really don't
have to keep saying that.Copy !req
633. Okay.Copy !req
634. You want to say it again.Copy !req
635. Yeah, very much so, I do.Copy !req
636. Why did he write that...Copy !req
637. In his note?Copy !req
638. "Because there's Zoe.Copy !req
639. And I don't even know her, but
if I could just talk to her..."Copy !req
640. Honestly, I really don't know.Copy !req
641. What does any of that
even mean? I mean...Copy !req
642. We weren't close at all.Copy !req
643. Not since we were kids.Copy !req
644. He never noticed anything
about me.Copy !req
645. That's not true.
That's not true.Copy !req
646. He-he-he noticed
a lot of things about you.Copy !req
647. Like what things?Copy !req
648. Right.Copy !req
649. No, no, no.Copy !req
650. That's, um...Copy !req
651. Well...Copy !req
652. Okay, w... okay.Copy !req
653. Here's something. Um...Copy !req
654. Whenever you have, uh,
a solo in-in jazz band,Copy !req
655. you just... you close your e...Copy !req
656. You probably don't even know
you're doing this,Copy !req
657. but you close your eyes,
um, and you get, like...Copy !req
658. I don't know,
it's like a half smile,Copy !req
659. like you just heard the
funniest thing in the world,Copy !req
660. but it's a secret and
you can't tell anyone about it.Copy !req
661. But then...Copy !req
662. Uh, the way that you smile,
it's sort of like you are...Copy !req
663. You're letting us in
on the secret, too.Copy !req
664. Um...Copy !req
665. I-I do that ironically.Copy !req
666. Did he say anything else?Copy !req
667. About you?Copy !req
668. N-Never mind.
I don't even care, all right?Copy !req
669. Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
He said so many things.Copy !req
670. I'm trying to... I'm just...Copy !req
671. I'm trying to remember
the best ones, so...Copy !req
672. Um...Copy !req
673. No fucking way.Copy !req
674. Hello.Copy !req
675. - Oh, sorry.
- Uh...Copy !req
676. Oh, you beat us.Copy !req
677. Um, Zoe, can you help serve?Copy !req
678. - Yeah.
- Larry, get the plates.Copy !req
679. Can I do anything?Copy !req
680. No, no, no.
You're the guest. You sit down.Copy !req
681. We asked if they had
any soy ice cream,Copy !req
682. but the guy at the store said
there was just no "whey," so...Copy !req
683. When are you gonna
give up that joke?Copy !req
684. I think never, actually.Copy !req
685. You don't have to
laugh at that. Please don't.Copy !req
686. Oh.Copy !req
687. I'm sorry, but there's no wayCopy !req
688. you'd ever be able
to tell in a million yearsCopy !req
689. that this was gluten-free.Copy !req
690. Mom, come on. Look at it.Copy !req
691. A million years is, uh...
That's a lot of years.Copy !req
692. Do you see
what I have to deal with?Copy !req
693. I'm glad you're here.Copy !req
694. "The Connor project."Copy !req
695. So, it's a student group
dedicated toCopy !req
696. mental health awareness,
outreach and education.Copy !req
697. Uh, great.
This is... it's great.Copy !req
698. You know the Murphys, right?Copy !req
699. - Mm-hmm.
- I was wondering ifCopy !req
700. you would reach out to them
and get their blessing.Copy !req
701. Oh, well, I don't...
I-I don't, I don't, um...Copy !req
702. You want to help the Murphys?Copy !req
703. And all the other people
who might need it,Copy !req
704. like people like Connor.Copy !req
705. Or...Copy !req
706. People like us.Copy !req
707. "People like us"?Copy !req
708. Yes, right, because
we have so much in common.Copy !req
709. What?Copy !req
710. Well, you're, like,
the presidentCopy !req
711. of a m-million different groups
at school,Copy !req
712. and you're, like,
part of every single activity.Copy !req
713. And you're, you know, and I'm...Copy !req
714. Um, I am not.Copy !req
715. What do you take?Copy !req
716. Okay, I'll go first.Copy !req
717. I'm on Lexapro, ten milligrams.Copy !req
718. Oh.Copy !req
719. Well, I'm-I'm on Zoloft.Copy !req
720. Uh, and Wellbutrin.Copy !req
721. And, um...Copy !req
722. Ativan as needed.Copy !req
723. Depression? Anxiety?Copy !req
724. Yeah.Copy !req
725. Yeah, me, too.Copy !req
726. Some days, it's just like, um...Copy !req
727. It's like, um...Copy !req
728. Impossible?Copy !req
729. - Yeah.
- Yeah.Copy !req
730. You know, you don't
really act like a...Copy !req
731. Depressed sort of person.Copy !req
732. I'm just good
at staying anonymous.Copy !req
733. Same as you.Copy !req
734. There are a lot of people
who feel like us.Copy !req
735. People that you wouldn't think.Copy !req
736. Go, bobcats!Copy !req
737. "The Connor project"?Copy !req
738. Yeah, so it's a student groupCopy !req
739. dedicated to
keeping Connor's memory alive.Copy !req
740. Um, making sure
people that need help,Copy !req
741. they have somewhere they can go.Copy !req
742. I didn't realize Connor meant
this much to people.Copy !req
743. Well, it's all... I mean,
it was all Alana's idea.Copy !req
744. She thought of the whole thing.Copy !req
745. That's the young womanCopy !req
746. who organized
the memorial tomorrow.Copy !req
747. - Mm-hmm.
- Well, she seems like...Copy !req
748. - Quite a force.
- Yeah.Copy !req
749. Um, anyways, um...Copy !req
750. We just wanted to do something.Copy !req
751. It's-it's r-really cool.Copy !req
752. There's something
I want to show you.Copy !req
753. Sure.Copy !req
754. Oh, here we go.Copy !req
755. It's a bit of a mess, I know.Copy !req
756. We still haven't decided what
to do with, um, everything.Copy !req
757. Oh, um...
He used to write songs.Copy !req
758. Or at least he told us he did.Copy !req
759. He refused to play for us,
so who knows?Copy !req
760. He never played any for you?Copy !req
761. No, he di... he didn't.Copy !req
762. He... no. I'm sorry.Copy !req
763. Um...Copy !req
764. Here it is.Copy !req
765. It's a...Copy !req
766. When Connor entered
seventh grade,Copy !req
767. all of my girlfriends said,Copy !req
768. "here it comes,
bar mitzvah season.Copy !req
769. He's gonna have a different
party every Saturday."Copy !req
770. And Larry was so excited
to take him shopping.Copy !req
771. He dragged him
to Brooks brothers,Copy !req
772. and they picked out a suit,
some shirts and this tie.Copy !req
773. He looked... just like his dad.Copy !req
774. He never got invited
to a single party.Copy !req
775. He was such a sweet boy
underneath it all.Copy !req
776. Everything just hurt too much.Copy !req
777. I thought that, uh, you could
wear this to the memorial.Copy !req
778. For your speech.Copy !req
779. Oh, I'm not... I-I...Copy !req
780. I wasn't...
I'm-I'm not speaking.Copy !req
781. Why not?Copy !req
782. Well, I...
I just don't think, um...Copy !req
783. I mean, most people
think that I'm...Copy !req
784. Not that cool of a person,Copy !req
785. so nobody wants to hear from me.Copy !req
786. Well, if...Copy !req
787. That's what most people think...Copy !req
788. It sounds like most people
don't know you very well.Copy !req
789. They didn't know Connor either.Copy !req
790. They never bothered.Copy !req
791. Hmm.Copy !req
792. You can tell them
what they missed.Copy !req
793. You're so handsome.Copy !req
794. I'm so glad
you changed your mind.Copy !req
795. Today is a day of remembrance
and reflection.Copy !req
796. It sucks he isn't here
to see this.Copy !req
797. The first person
we'll hear from this morningCopy !req
798. is Evan Hansen.Copy !req
799. Uh, good morning, s...Copy !req
800. Holy shit.Copy !req
801. Sorry.Copy !req
802. Sorry.Copy !req
803. Good morning,
students and faculty.Copy !req
804. I would like to say
a few words to you today...Copy !req
805. About my friend...Copy !req
806. My best friend, Connor Murphy.Copy !req
807. Holy shit.Copy !req
808. I would like to tell you
about the day that Connor and ICopy !req
809. went hiking behind the old
Autumn smile apple orchard.Copy !req
810. We found a huge oak tree.Copy !req
811. Connor said that he wondered
what the world would look likeCopy !req
812. from all the way up there,
so we decided to find out.Copy !req
813. We started climbing slowly.Copy !req
814. And then,
when I finally looked back,Copy !req
815. we were already
30 feet off the ground.Copy !req
816. Um, Connor just looked at me...Copy !req
817. And smiled
that way he always did.Copy !req
818. Um, and then...Copy !req
819. Um...Copy !req
820. Sorry. Then I fell.Copy !req
821. I-I lay there
on the ground and...Copy !req
822. Good morning,
students and f-f... faculty.Copy !req
823. Sorry, that...Copy !req
824. Sorry, that's the wrong...Copy !req
825. But, see, the thing is, when
I looked up, Connor was there.Copy !req
826. That's the gift he gave me.Copy !req
827. To show me
th-that I wasn't alone.Copy !req
828. Um, nobody is.Copy !req
829. That's-that's the gift
that he gave all of us.Copy !req
830. I just wish...Copy !req
831. I wish we could've
given that to him.Copy !req
832. So...Copy !req
833. Have you seen this?Copy !req
834. People started sharing it,Copy !req
835. and now, I mean,
it's everywhere.Copy !req
836. This morning, it only had,
like, 30 views.Copy !req
837. Well, how many does it have now?Copy !req
838. 723.Copy !req
839. 2,326 views.Copy !req
840. 14,359.Copy !req
841. I don't understand
what happened.Copy !req
842. You did.Copy !req
843. Oh, my god.Copy !req
844. Everybody needs to see this.Copy !req
845. - I can't stop watching this video.
- 17 years old.Copy !req
846. - Take five minutes.
- It'll make your day.Copy !req
847. Share it
with the people you love.Copy !req
848. - Repost.
- The world needs to hear this.Copy !req
849. Beautiful tribute.Copy !req
850. I know someone who really
needed to hear this today.Copy !req
851. So thank you, Evan Hansen,
for doing what you're doing.Copy !req
852. I never met you, Connor,
but coming on here,Copy !req
853. reading everyone's posts...Copy !req
854. Evan is exactly right.
We are not alone.Copy !req
855. We are not alone.Copy !req
856. None of us.Copy !req
857. None of us are alone.Copy !req
858. - Like. - Forward.
- Especially now,Copy !req
859. with everything you hear
on the news.Copy !req
860. - Like. - Share.
- Repost. - Forward.Copy !req
861. Thank you, Evan Hansen,Copy !req
862. for giving us a space
to remember Connor.Copy !req
863. - Thanks to Evan.
- To be together.Copy !req
864. - Thanks for helping my mom.
- Thank you for helping my mom.Copy !req
865. Thank you, Evan Hansen.Copy !req
866. - Sacramento.
- Michigan.Copy !req
867. Thank you, Evan.Copy !req
868. This is about community
and friendship.Copy !req
869. - Thank you, Evan.
- Thank you.Copy !req
870. Thank you, Evan Hansen.Copy !req
871. Hey.Copy !req
872. What's wrong?Copy !req
873. Everything you said
in your speech.Copy !req
874. Everything you've done.Copy !req
875. You don't know how much...Copy !req
876. You've given all of us.Copy !req
877. My family.Copy !req
878. Me.Copy !req
879. No.Copy !req
880. No, I...Copy !req
881. You've given me my brother back.Copy !req
882. Welcome to the first
official meetingCopy !req
883. of the Connor project.Copy !req
884. Right?Copy !req
885. Um, now, as you all know
from Evan's speech,Copy !req
886. uh, Connor's favorite place
in the entire worldCopy !req
887. was the Autumn smile
apple orchard.Copy !req
888. I am beyond excited
to announce that,Copy !req
889. in addition to our support
groups, we will be launchingCopy !req
890. a kickstarter campaign to raise
$100,000 to reopen and redesignCopy !req
891. Autumn smile as the
Connor Murphy memorial orchard.Copy !req
892. Um, so to explain what we're
going to be asking of you,Copy !req
893. I'm gonna turn things overCopy !req
894. to our director
of global communications.Copy !req
895. Thanks, Alana.Copy !req
896. So great.Copy !req
897. Our new website is now live.Copy !req
898. If you have not yet readCopy !req
899. the emails
between Evan and Connor...Copy !req
900. Oh, you're gonna want
to grab some tissues.Copy !req
901. I swear, I've got
a Cal Ripken here somewhere.Copy !req
902. Look at that, hmm?Copy !req
903. The entire '96 team.Copy !req
904. There's three hall of famers
on there.Copy !req
905. - Wow.
- You get the right people,Copy !req
906. baseball fans,
uh, you could raiseCopy !req
907. at least a few hundred bucks
for the orchard,Copy !req
908. maybe a couple thousand.Copy !req
909. Yeah, but...Copy !req
910. I mean, you should, you should
probably keep all this stuff.Copy !req
911. Oh, uh, it's just gonna
sit here gathering dust.Copy !req
912. Uh, stiff as a board, isn't it?Copy !req
913. Yeah.Copy !req
914. Well, it's never been used.Copy !req
915. Connor...Copy !req
916. He loved baseball.Copy !req
917. When he was little.Copy !req
918. First time I met him, uh...Copy !req
919. Cynthia wasn't sure how the
kids would react, all right?Copy !req
920. She was terrified.Copy !req
921. And I was terrified.Copy !req
922. I mean...Copy !req
923. Five minutes in...Copy !req
924. Connor's,
like, pulling my arm, uh...Copy !req
925. "Come on, let's go play catch."Copy !req
926. He...Copy !req
927. I bought that... I don't know...
Two years ago.Copy !req
928. I thought, you know,
maybe we could...Copy !req
929. So stupid.Copy !req
930. He was really lucky
to have a step...Copy !req
931. To have a dad like you.Copy !req
932. Your dad must feel
pretty lucky to...Copy !req
933. Have a son like you.Copy !req
934. Yeah, he does.Copy !req
935. You know, I-I saw
the strangest thingCopy !req
936. - on-on Facebook yesterday.
- Really?Copy !req
937. Um, somebody had a video
of you doing a speech.Copy !req
938. About that boy, Connor Murphy.Copy !req
939. How the two of you
climbed a tree togetherCopy !req
940. at an orchard.Copy !req
941. You told me that you didn't
know him, but in the speech,Copy !req
942. you said that
he was your best friend.Copy !req
943. Right, well...Copy !req
944. 'Cause that wasn't true.Copy !req
945. Um...Copy !req
946. When I said I didn't know him.Copy !req
947. Mm.Copy !req
948. I thought that
you broke your arm at-at work.Copy !req
949. Okay, well, who do you think
drove me to urgent careCopy !req
950. and-and waited there with me?Copy !req
951. You were at work. You remember?Copy !req
952. I couldn't even... you didn't,
you didn't answer your phone.Copy !req
953. You-you told me
that your boss took you.Copy !req
954. Well, so I lied, obviously.Copy !req
955. So when were you planning
on telling me any of this?Copy !req
956. When would I tell you exactly?
When are you even here?Copy !req
957. - I'm here now.
- Okay.Copy !req
958. You know, I-I-I talked
to Dr. Sherman, and he told meCopy !req
959. - you've been skipping appointments.
- I missed one.Copy !req
960. You know those aren't free.Copy !req
961. Sorry. I'm sorry.Copy !req
962. I'm...Copy !req
963. I'm so happy
you had a friend, sweetheart.Copy !req
964. I'm sorry he's gone.Copy !req
965. I just wish I'd known.Copy !req
966. That speech you gave, it...Copy !req
967. I don't even know what to say.
I'm...Copy !req
968. I'm proud of you.Copy !req
969. Thanks.Copy !req
970. Hi.Copy !req
971. This is a cool surprise.Copy !req
972. Um...Copy !req
973. Can I get you anything or...?Copy !req
974. Just water.Copy !req
975. - Just water? You're sure?
- Yeah. That's perfect.Copy !req
976. Coming up.Copy !req
977. Where's your mom?Copy !req
978. She works late on Fridays.Copy !req
979. Oh. I wanted to meet her.Copy !req
980. Yeah, that would've been great.Copy !req
981. What's this?Copy !req
982. Oh, it's just my mom is obsessedCopy !req
983. with these college scholarship
essay contests.Copy !req
984. I mean, I'd-I'd-I'd have to win
probably, like, all of themCopy !req
985. to actually pay
for college, so...Copy !req
986. Your parents,
they-they can't...?Copy !req
987. Uh, not really.Copy !req
988. I'm sorry.Copy !req
989. Is your room upstairs?Copy !req
990. Yeah. It's, um...Copy !req
991. Yeah.Copy !req
992. Yeah, so it's, like, a pretty
standard sort of room, I guess.Copy !req
993. So...Copy !req
994. Hey. Oh, um...Copy !req
995. Actually, I meant
to tell you this before.Copy !req
996. Um, so Alana and I
had a really good...Copy !req
997. Um, we had a really good
meeting this morning,Copy !req
998. and I think that...
Y-You probably noticed,Copy !req
999. um, that, uh, you know,
a lot of people were giving,Copy !req
1000. uh, during that first week,
which is definitely great,Copy !req
1001. but, um, it sort of slowed down
a bit, obviously.Copy !req
1002. But Alana and I
are really confidentCopy !req
1003. that it's gonna
pick right back up.Copy !req
1004. I think it's just a m...
A matter of...Copy !req
1005. Can I talk to you
about something?Copy !req
1006. Yes.Copy !req
1007. Uh...Copy !req
1008. The Connor project is...
Awesome.Copy !req
1009. It's-it's really, really cool.Copy !req
1010. Oh.Copy !req
1011. - Thank you.
- It's just that, my whole life,Copy !req
1012. everything has been about him.Copy !req
1013. And maybe the two of us...Copy !req
1014. Maybe we don't have to talk
about my brother all the time.Copy !req
1015. Maybe we can...Copy !req
1016. Talk about other things.Copy !req
1017. I like you.Copy !req
1018. And it's not because you were
friends with my brotherCopy !req
1019. or because of
the Connor project.Copy !req
1020. I like you 'cause...Copy !req
1021. You.Copy !req
1022. Well...Copy !req
1023. All right,
let's just start without him.Copy !req
1024. No.Copy !req
1025. I'm famous for doing that.Copy !req
1026. I've been told that many times.Copy !req
1027. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
1028. Hi, honey.Copy !req
1029. Come join us.Copy !req
1030. - I just put dinner in the oven.
- Hi.Copy !req
1031. She made me swear
to keep it a surprise.Copy !req
1032. I'm surprised.Copy !req
1033. Hi.Copy !req
1034. It's so nice
to finally meet you.Copy !req
1035. - Oh, hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
1036. Yeah, uh, great.Copy !req
1037. It's great.Copy !req
1038. Come on, Evan. Sit.Copy !req
1039. I-I thought that you were
working tonight.Copy !req
1040. Cynthia called
and invited me for dinner,Copy !req
1041. so, you know, I'm playing hooky.Copy !req
1042. We were just discussing
how sneaky you and Connor were.Copy !req
1043. I had no idea that he
and Connor were even friends.Copy !req
1044. Oh, we were the same.Copy !req
1045. You know,
boys love their secrets.Copy !req
1046. Something smells good.
What's for dinner?Copy !req
1047. Oh, it's chicken Milanese,
your favorite.Copy !req
1048. Oh, actually his favorite isCopy !req
1049. my great-grandmother's
black beans.Copy !req
1050. Really?Copy !req
1051. Well, he's the only oneCopy !req
1052. that appreciates
my cooking, so...Copy !req
1053. - That's not true.
- Uh, another drop?Copy !req
1054. Oh, no, no. I'm-I'm fine.
Thank you.Copy !req
1055. Oh, um, fascinating story
about the wine.Copy !req
1056. It's from a vineyard in Napa,Copy !req
1057. and the entire growing process
from start to finish,Copy !req
1058. 100% sustainable.Copy !req
1059. Is that right?Copy !req
1060. Not to mention,
it tastes good, too.Copy !req
1061. - Mm-hmm. It does.
- Mm.Copy !req
1062. You know,
I-I didn't realize, uh...Copy !req
1063. Cynthia and Larry
were telling meCopy !req
1064. that you spend
so much time here.Copy !req
1065. Yeah, I... you've been
working a lot, so...Copy !req
1066. Why did I think
you were at Jared's?Copy !req
1067. I-I don't know.Copy !req
1068. Evan was showing meCopy !req
1069. all of those scholarship
contests that you found.Copy !req
1070. It's really impressive.Copy !req
1071. Well, Evan is a great writer.Copy !req
1072. Well, that does notCopy !req
1073. surprise me at all.Copy !req
1074. His English teacher last year
told me that he wroteCopy !req
1075. one of the best papers
she'd ever read on Sulu.Copy !req
1076. Is that right?Copy !req
1077. - It's Sula.
- What?Copy !req
1078. You said "Sulu." It's Sula.Copy !req
1079. Yeah, I believe Sulu'sCopy !req
1080. a character on Star Trek.Copy !req
1081. My mistake.Copy !req
1082. So, speaking of scholarships...Copy !req
1083. Oh, right, uh...Copy !req
1084. Yeah, well, I guess...Copy !req
1085. Now's as good a time as any.Copy !req
1086. Uh...Copy !req
1087. Cynthia, do you want to...?Copy !req
1088. Hmm.Copy !req
1089. Well, um...Copy !req
1090. Zoe happened to mention that
Evan was having some difficultyCopy !req
1091. in terms of the
financial burden of college.Copy !req
1092. And Larry and I
started thinking,Copy !req
1093. and we've been fortunate enoughCopy !req
1094. to set some money aside
for Connor.Copy !req
1095. Um, I'm good.Copy !req
1096. - I'm okay.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1097. Heidi, with your blessing,
we would like to give EvanCopy !req
1098. the money that we set aside
for our sonCopy !req
1099. so he can fulfill his dreams.Copy !req
1100. Thank you so much...Copy !req
1101. But we're gonna be fine.Copy !req
1102. I don't have a lot of money,
but I-I do have some.Copy !req
1103. Oh.Copy !req
1104. No, no, no, no, no.
I didn't mean to intimate...Copy !req
1105. No, no, I understand,
but, um, we do have money,Copy !req
1106. so I'm sorry you were under
the impression that we didn't.Copy !req
1107. And whatever money
we don't have,Copy !req
1108. Evan will either
make up for with a jobCopy !req
1109. or he'll get a scholarship.Copy !req
1110. I don't want my son
to get the idea that it's okayCopy !req
1111. to rely on other people
for favors.Copy !req
1112. - Well, it's not a favor.
- No.Copy !req
1113. But as his mother,
I need to set that example.Copy !req
1114. You can't expect things
from strangers.Copy !req
1115. Oh, we're not strangers.Copy !req
1116. No, of course not.Copy !req
1117. But you're not family either.Copy !req
1118. Mom, just hold on.Copy !req
1119. No, I think
I better get to work,Copy !req
1120. see if I can grab a shift
now that I knowCopy !req
1121. how concerned you are
about our finances.Copy !req
1122. Mom, will you please
come back inside?Copy !req
1123. Oh, my god. Are you kidding me?Copy !req
1124. Will you just
come back inside, please?Copy !req
1125. They think you're their son,
these people.Copy !req
1126. They're not "these people."Copy !req
1127. They don't really know you.Copy !req
1128. Well, they like me.
They like me.Copy !req
1129. I know that that's very hard
for you to believe,Copy !req
1130. that they don't think I'm...Copy !req
1131. You know, that there's
something wrong with me,Copy !req
1132. that I need to be,
like, fixed, like you do.Copy !req
1133. - When have I ever said that?
- Oh, my god.Copy !req
1134. Mom, I-I have to go
to therapy, right?Copy !req
1135. I have to take drugs.
I have to...Copy !req
1136. There's-there's nothing
wrong with that.Copy !req
1137. There-there's nothing wrong
with needing help, honey.Copy !req
1138. Just stop. I know that there is,Copy !req
1139. and I know that I'm a burden,Copy !req
1140. that I'm the worst thing
that ever happened to you,Copy !req
1141. and I just... well, I just
ruined your life, okay?Copy !req
1142. No. You are the best thing.Copy !req
1143. You're the best thing
that's ever happened to me.Copy !req
1144. I'm sorry I can't give you
anything more than that.Copy !req
1145. It's not my fault
if other people can.Copy !req
1146. I'll see you at home.Copy !req
1147. Hi.Copy !req
1148. I'm so sorry.
I meant to be there yesterday.Copy !req
1149. Okay, well, we have two days
left, and we're $25,000 short.Copy !req
1150. Yeah, I just... everything...Copy !req
1151. You're right. I know. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1152. Things have been
really busy, so...Copy !req
1153. I've been wondering something.Copy !req
1154. Mm-hmm?Copy !req
1155. Were you ever actually
friends with him?Copy !req
1156. What are you talking about?Copy !req
1157. Well, the thing about
the emails, it's just that,Copy !req
1158. like, you and Connor
keep talking aboutCopy !req
1159. climbing this tree together
in June.Copy !req
1160. Mm-hmm?Copy !req
1161. We were in school in June.Copy !req
1162. You didn't have a cast
until September.Copy !req
1163. Well, uh, you know what?Copy !req
1164. We probably just wrote down
the wrong date or something.Copy !req
1165. It's not just the emails, Evan.Copy !req
1166. You've missed, like,
three meetings in a row.Copy !req
1167. If I were his best friend,Copy !req
1168. I would be doing
everything I could to make sureCopy !req
1169. his dream of rebuilding
the orchard came true.Copy !req
1170. Okay.Copy !req
1171. Look, it's terrible
that people aren't givingCopy !req
1172. as much money
as we hoped they would.Copy !req
1173. It is, but-but it's not like
it's him.Copy !req
1174. You know what I mean?Copy !req
1175. It's-it's just...
It's an orchard, Alana.Copy !req
1176. We have people watching us,Copy !req
1177. hoping...Copy !req
1178. Praying that we can
prove Connor wrong.Copy !req
1179. And if the orchard is
just an empty promise,Copy !req
1180. all of those people will know
that Connor was right.Copy !req
1181. That no one cares.Copy !req
1182. Did you lie to me?Copy !req
1183. Did I lie to all these people?Copy !req
1184. Just go to your email.Copy !req
1185. Another email?Copy !req
1186. It's not...Copy !req
1187. It's not another email.Copy !req
1188. "Dear Evan Hansen..."Copy !req
1189. If we weren't friends,
then he wouldn't...Copy !req
1190. He wouldn't have written
his note to me.Copy !req
1191. Look, only his family
have seen this, okay?Copy !req
1192. You can't, you can't show it
to anybody else, okay?Copy !req
1193. Alana.Copy !req
1194. Okay.Copy !req
1195. He wasn't right.Copy !req
1196. You know that, don't you?Copy !req
1197. Can you imagine?Copy !req
1198. Wh-what's wrong?Copy !req
1199. Yep.Copy !req
1200. Hi.Copy !req
1201. Alana, you have to
take it down, okay?Copy !req
1202. They've been through enough.Copy !req
1203. I took it down already, Evan,
but it-it doesn't matterCopy !req
1204. because it's everywhere.Copy !req
1205. Zoe, it's me.Copy !req
1206. Please call me back, okay?Copy !req
1207. I'm worried about you.Copy !req
1208. They have pictures of us now.Copy !req
1209. Just put it away.Copy !req
1210. "His parents act like
they are bereft,Copy !req
1211. but where were they when
their son was actually alive?"Copy !req
1212. Please stop reading them.Copy !req
1213. - Hey. Is Zoe here?
- She went home.Copy !req
1214. Things really aren't good here.Copy !req
1215. I know. I just... I had to come.Copy !req
1216. Where did they even...
How did they get Connor's note?Copy !req
1217. I don't know.Copy !req
1218. Like, did they hack
our computers?Copy !req
1219. They hacked our emails?
Did... these people are adults.Copy !req
1220. Did you see their pictures?Copy !req
1221. These people are adults.Copy !req
1222. Look, maybe let it ring.Copy !req
1223. I'm sick of hiding. Hello?Copy !req
1224. Yeah, have-have fun
with your miserable life.Copy !req
1225. What did they say?
What's the number?Copy !req
1226. It's blocked.Copy !req
1227. It doesn't...
No, it doesn't matter.Copy !req
1228. That's it.
I'm calling the police.Copy !req
1229. No, look, right now,
maybe the best thing to doCopy !req
1230. is to just stay calm, all right?Copy !req
1231. - And sit...
- That's always your solution, isn't it?Copy !req
1232. Wait and see. Let's just
wait and see, right, Larry?Copy !req
1233. What are the police going to do?Copy !req
1234. It's the Internet. Wh...Copy !req
1235. Are they gonna
arrest the Internet?Copy !req
1236. I had to beg you,
every step of the way,Copy !req
1237. for-for therapy, for-for rehab.Copy !req
1238. What? N-No, no.Copy !req
1239. You went lurching from
one miracle cure to the next...Copy !req
1240. Oh, you're... really?Copy !req
1241. Because all he needed
was another $20,000Copy !req
1242. weekend yoga retreat.Copy !req
1243. What was your alternative,Copy !req
1244. other than picking apart
everything that I did?Copy !req
1245. How about putting him onCopy !req
1246. one program and sticking to it?Copy !req
1247. Remember what he saidCopy !req
1248. the first time that Connor
tried to kill himself?Copy !req
1249. - That he's just looking for attention.
- For Christ's sake.Copy !req
1250. He just wants attention!Copy !req
1251. I'm not gonna sit here
and defend myself!Copy !req
1252. You couldn't understand him.Copy !req
1253. You never understood him
because he wasn't yours!Copy !req
1254. Mom, what the hell?Copy !req
1255. I raised him from the time
he was three years old.Copy !req
1256. He was getting better, and you
refused to see it. Ask Evan.Copy !req
1257. Tell them, Evan.Copy !req
1258. Evan did everything
that he could.Copy !req
1259. Evan? Evan was in denial
of what was happening.Copy !req
1260. Do not bring him into this.Copy !req
1261. Read the note, Larry.Copy !req
1262. Read what he said.Copy !req
1263. "I just wish that everything
was different."Copy !req
1264. I tried.Copy !req
1265. - But he was my son!
- He wanted to be better! - Please.Copy !req
1266. I-I tried everything!Copy !req
1267. Stop it! Just please stop!Copy !req
1268. - Please stop fighting!
- He was trying to be better!Copy !req
1269. He was trying!Copy !req
1270. And he was failing.Copy !req
1271. We failed him.Copy !req
1272. No, you didn't. No, you didn't.Copy !req
1273. You didn't fail him.Copy !req
1274. Read the note.Copy !req
1275. He didn't write it.Copy !req
1276. I wrote it.Copy !req
1277. You didn't write
Connor's suicide note.Copy !req
1278. Um, it was an assignment
from my therapist.Copy !req
1279. Write a letter to yourself,
um, a pep talk.Copy !req
1280. "Evan Hansen, dear Evan Hansen,
today's gonna be a good day.Copy !req
1281. - "Here's why."
- I-I don't, I don't think that...Copy !req
1282. I was supposed to bring it
to my appointment with me,Copy !req
1283. but Connor took it, and then
I guess he must have had itCopy !req
1284. with him, um...Copy !req
1285. When you found him, so...Copy !req
1286. What are you saying?Copy !req
1287. We weren't friends.Copy !req
1288. No.Copy !req
1289. No, no, no, no.Copy !req
1290. There were emails.
You showed us emails.Copy !req
1291. Mm.Copy !req
1292. Y-Y-You knew about the orchard.Copy !req
1293. He-he took you to the orchard.Copy !req
1294. That's where you broke your arm.Copy !req
1295. I broke my arm in Ellison park,
um, by myself.Copy !req
1296. But that day at the orchard...Copy !req
1297. You and Connor at the orchard.Copy !req
1298. Oh, god.Copy !req
1299. But you said that you guys
would talk about me.Copy !req
1300. He would...Copy !req
1301. How could you do this?Copy !req
1302. Zoe.Copy !req
1303. I think it's time for you to go.Copy !req
1304. Go away, Evan.Copy !req
1305. It isn't fair, okay?Copy !req
1306. You can't, you can't let peopleCopy !req
1307. just blame you and your parents.Copy !req
1308. They need to know
it was me, okay?Copy !req
1309. I'm the one people should hate.Copy !req
1310. Yeah, well,
we're not telling anyone.Copy !req
1311. Well, that's... I...Copy !req
1312. You can't... you have to.Copy !req
1313. It's not my decision.Copy !req
1314. It's my mom's.Copy !req
1315. She doesn't want
to ruin your life.Copy !req
1316. She's afraid
you'll do something stupid.Copy !req
1317. Like hurt yourself.Copy !req
1318. She said
they already lost one son.Copy !req
1319. Can you just...Copy !req
1320. Leave my family alone, okay?Copy !req
1321. Evan?Copy !req
1322. Evan?Copy !req
1323. Evan?Copy !req
1324. Oh, honey.Copy !req
1325. "Dear Evan Hansen..."Copy !req
1326. You wrote this? Connor's note?Copy !req
1327. I didn't know.Copy !req
1328. No one did.Copy !req
1329. No, honey, that's...Copy !req
1330. That's not what I meant.Copy !req
1331. I didn't know that you were...Copy !req
1332. That you were hurting like that.Copy !req
1333. That you felt...Copy !req
1334. I didn't know.Copy !req
1335. I lied.Copy !req
1336. I lied about so many things.Copy !req
1337. Not just Connor. Um...Copy !req
1338. So, last summer, um...Copy !req
1339. I just...Copy !req
1340. I just felt so alone. Um...Copy !req
1341. You can tell me.Copy !req
1342. The tree.Copy !req
1343. I didn't fall.Copy !req
1344. I let go.Copy !req
1345. - Oh, Evan.
- Do you hate me now?Copy !req
1346. You should. You should.Copy !req
1347. If you knew who I am,
just how just broken I am.Copy !req
1348. I already know you.Copy !req
1349. And I love you.Copy !req
1350. I can promise you that...Copy !req
1351. Someday...Copy !req
1352. All of this is gonna feel
like a very long time ago.Copy !req
1353. Ah.Copy !req
1354. Your dad, um...Copy !req
1355. Do you remember when
he drove by to get his things?Copy !req
1356. It was a few weeks
after he moved out.Copy !req
1357. Temporarily, we said.Copy !req
1358. Oh.Copy !req
1359. It's gonna get better,
I promise.Copy !req
1360. I was never friends
with Connor Murphy.Copy !req
1361. I lied,Copy !req
1362. repeatedly,Copy !req
1363. to his family,Copy !req
1364. to Alana,Copy !req
1365. to all of you.Copy !req
1366. I'm not asking
for your forgiveness.Copy !req
1367. I don't deserve it.Copy !req
1368. But, um, please...Copy !req
1369. Connor's family
doesn't deserve your hatred.Copy !req
1370. I do.Copy !req
1371. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1372. I think we got it.Copy !req
1373. All right.Copy !req
1374. You must start school
pretty soon.Copy !req
1375. Two more weeks.Copy !req
1376. When do you leave for college?Copy !req
1377. Um, actually I decided
to take a year off, so...Copy !req
1378. Uh, just try to save some money.Copy !req
1379. Get a job.Copy !req
1380. Uh... take some time.Copy !req
1381. So, I'm taking classes
at the community college.Copy !req
1382. I'll have credits to transfer
in the fall, so...Copy !req
1383. That's smart.Copy !req
1384. Yeah. We'll see.Copy !req
1385. I always picture
you and Connor here.Copy !req
1386. Even though...Copy !req
1387. This is my first time.Copy !req
1388. It's nice.Copy !req
1389. Peaceful.Copy !req
1390. My parents come here
all the time.Copy !req
1391. We do picnics, like,
every weekend.Copy !req
1392. Lots of gluten-free sandwiches.Copy !req
1393. It's helped them a lot,
actually.Copy !req
1394. Having this.Copy !req
1395. What I did...Copy !req
1396. I can't even...Copy !req
1397. It's the worst thing
anyone can do.Copy !req
1398. I wish we could have met now.Copy !req
1399. Today.Copy !req
1400. For the first time.Copy !req
1401. Me, too.Copy !req
1402. I should probably...Copy !req
1403. Yeah. Yeah, of course.Copy !req
1404. Of course.Copy !req
1405. Hey, can I just...Copy !req
1406. Can I just ask you...Copy !req
1407. Why did you want to meet here?Copy !req
1408. I wanted to be sure
that you saw this.Copy !req
1409. He really loved it here.Copy !req
1410. Dear Evan Hansen...Copy !req
1411. Today is gonna be
a good day, and here's why.Copy !req
1412. Because today,
no matter what else,Copy !req
1413. today at least you're you.Copy !req
1414. No hiding, no lying.Copy !req
1415. And that's...Copy !req
1416. That's enough.Copy !req
1417. So no matter how hard it gets,Copy !req
1418. even if it feels... impossible,Copy !req
1419. this time you'll know.Copy !req
1420. Don't let go.Copy !req
1421. Just hold on and keep going.Copy !req
1422. Just keep going.Copy !req