1. DIGITALLY RESTORED IN 2017
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2. It is early Monday morning...
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3. and I am in pain.
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4. My sisters...
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5. and Anna...
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6. are taking turns staying up.
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7. Good morning.
Did anything happen?
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8. No, she was quiet... I think.
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9. I fell asleep.
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10. Anna, see to the fire.
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11. I thank thee, dear Lord,
for allowing me
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12. to awaken well and cheerful
this morning
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13. after a good sleep
under thy protection,
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14. and for the enjoyment
of a restful night.
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15. I beseech thee again today
and every day
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16. to let thine angels watch over
and protect my little girl
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17. whom thou
in thy unfathomable wisdom
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18. tookest unto thyself in heaven.
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19. Mother is in my thoughts
nearly every day,
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20. though she's been dead
for over 20 years.
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21. I remember she would often seek
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22. the peace and solitude
of the grounds.
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23. I remember too
how I'd follow her at a distance
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24. and spy on her unnoticed,
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25. because I loved her
to such a jealous extreme.
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26. I loved her because she was
so gentle and beautiful and alive
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27. and so very, very present.
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28. But she could also be
coolly dismissive
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29. or playfully cruel.
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30. Yet I couldn't help
feeling sorry for her,
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31. and now that I'm older,
I understand her much better.
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32. I wish I could see her again
and tell her
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33. that I understand
her boredom, her impatience,
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34. her longing,
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35. and her loneliness.
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36. And when the wicked witch
at last realized
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37. that little Gretel had tricked her,
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38. her nose began to grow and grow...
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39. For Twelfth Night
Mother always gave a party,
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40. and Aunt Olga would come
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41. with her magic lantern
and her fairy tales.
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42. I always felt frightened and left out.
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43. When Mother spoke to me
in her excitable way,
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44. I could hardly understand
what she wanted of me.
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45. Maria and Mother always had
so much to whisper about,
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46. but then they were so alike.
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47. I used to wonder jealously
what they had to laugh at.
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48. Everyone was in high spirits.
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49. I alone could not join in the merriment.
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50. I remember another time one autumn...
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51. when I hid behind the curtains
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52. and watched her in secret.
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53. She sat in her white dress
in the red drawing room.
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54. She sat quite still,
her head bent over,
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55. her hands resting on the table.
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56. Suddenly she noticed me
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57. and softly called to me.
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58. I approached hesitantly,
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59. thinking she was going
to criticize me, as usual.
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60. But instead she gave me
a look so full of sorrow
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61. that I nearly burst into tears.
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62. I placed my hand on her cheek...
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63. and for that moment
we were very close.
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64. There's someone out there.
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65. Anna.
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66. There's someone out there.
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67. Good morning, Agnes.
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68. Good morning, Doctor.
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69. She's very tired.
I don't think it will be long now.
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70. I'll find my way out, thank you.
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71. David.
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72. It's been so long.
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73. When can we meet again?
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74. No.
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75. Maria and her husband, Joakim,
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76. had stayed at the manor
some years earlier,
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77. when Agnes had gone to Italy
for her health.
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78. One evening, Anna's little daughter
was taken quite ill,
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79. and Maria sent for the family doctor
from a nearby town.
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80. Say "ah."
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81. Once more.
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82. That hurt a bit, I know.
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83. Good girl.
That wasn't too bad, eh?
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84. Into bed with you now.
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85. Get a little sleep.
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86. - Thank you.
- You must be hungry, Doctor.
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87. There's supper
in the other room, if you'd like.
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88. That would be very nice.
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89. Thank you.
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90. Agnes and Karin are still in Italy.
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91. I got a letter last week.
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92. Agnes is much better.
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93. Her cough is gone.
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94. She's taken up painting again.
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95. Karin's husband joined them at Easter.
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96. The weather's been good,
almost like summer...
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97. though the nights are chilly.
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98. And how's your husband?
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99. Joakim had some business in town.
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100. He'll be back tomorrow.
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101. I mentioned you'd be coming
to look in on Anna's little girl.
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102. He sends his best.
- Thank you.
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103. I made up the guest room for you.
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104. The weather's so awful.
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105. You shouldn't be going home
in this weather.
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106. You've changed.
- Really?
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107. Is there someone else?
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108. There's always someone else...
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109. though I never thought
the matter would interest you.
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110. It doesn't.
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111. You wear spectacles now?
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112. Am I bothering you?
- Not at all.
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113. Why are you so reserved?
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114. Couldn't we forget about the past?
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115. Come here, Marie.
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116. Come.
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117. Look in the mirror.
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118. You're beautiful.
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119. Perhaps even more
than when we were together.
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120. But you've changed,
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121. and I want you to see how.
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122. Now your eyes cast
quick, calculating side glances.
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123. You used to look ahead
straightforwardly, openly...
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124. without disguise.
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125. Your mouth has a slightly hungry,
dissatisfied expression.
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126. It used to be so soft.
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127. Your complexion is pale now.
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128. You wear makeup.
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129. Your fine, wide brow
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130. has four lines above each eye now.
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131. You can't see them in this light,
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132. but you can in the bright light of day.
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133. You know what caused those lines?
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134. No.
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135. Indifference.
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136. And this fine contour
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137. from your ear to your chin
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138. is no longer so finely drawn...
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139. the result of too much comfort
and laziness.
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140. And there, by the bridge of your nose.
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141. Why do you sneer so often?
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142. You see that?
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143. You sneer too often.
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144. You see it?
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145. And look under your eyes.
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146. The sharp, scarcely noticeable wrinkles
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147. from your boredom and impatience.
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148. Can you really see all that there?
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149. No, but I feel it when you kiss me.
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150. I think you're joking with me.
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151. I know where you see it.
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152. Where?
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153. In yourself.
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154. Because you and I are so alike.
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155. You mean...
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156. in our selfishness...
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157. coldness...
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158. and indifference?
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159. Your arguments
have always bored me.
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160. Are there no extenuating circumstances
for such as you and I?
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161. I have no need of pardon.
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162. Good morning, sir.
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163. Good morning.
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164. Thank you.
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165. Good morning, Joakim.
Welcome home.
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166. Good morning, Maria.
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167. Anna's little girl is quite ill.
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168. The doctor was here last night.
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169. He sends his regards
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170. and hopes you can get together
again for chess soon.
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171. I asked him to stay overnight
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172. because the weather was so bad.
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173. He left early this morning
before anyone was up.
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174. Did you enjoy yourself in town,
or were you terribly busy?
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175. We received an invitation
from the Egermans.
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176. They'd like us to stay
with them at Easter.
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177. I think it would be very nice.
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178. For a change of pace.
What do you think?
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179. We'll see.
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180. Run along and play.
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181. Joakim.
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182. Help me.
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183. Please help me.
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184. No.
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185. Anna.
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186. You hear that?
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187. I hear only the wind
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188. and the ticking of the clocks.
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189. No... it's something else.
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190. I don't hear anything else.
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191. I'm freezing.
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192. Good night.
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193. Come here.
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194. Come to me.
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195. You're so far away.
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196. Come here.
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197. Here by my side.
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198. Do I smell very bad?
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199. It hurts so much.
- I know, Agnes.
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200. I'll stay with you.
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201. It will be all right.
- It hurts so bad.
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202. You needn't be afraid when I'm here.
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203. You know that.
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204. The pillow's so warm.
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205. We can get the other one.
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206. Come.
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207. Can you sit up a bit?
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208. Now lie back.
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209. Is that better?
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210. Is that good?
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211. You're so good to me.
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212. Yes?
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213. What is it?
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214. Agnes is worse.
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215. I think she's unconscious.
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216. Her breathing's very strange.
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217. I'll get my shawl.
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218. Karin.
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219. - What is it?
- Agnes is worse.
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220. I'm coming.
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221. - I'll go for the doctor.
- I'll go with you.
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222. - When's the doctor coming?
- He wasn't home.
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223. You'd better get dressed.
I'll stay with her.
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224. I'm much better now.
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225. Just a bit warm.
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226. How about a little bath
and a clean gown?
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227. Yes, thank you.
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228. I'm a bit thirsty.
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229. Shall I read a bit?
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230. That would be wonderful.
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231. "Chapter 34,
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232. in which Mr. Pickwick thinks
he had better go to Bath,
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233. and goes accordingly.
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234. 'But surely, my dear sir,'
said little Perker
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235. as he stood in Mr. Pickwick's apartment
on the morning after the trial,
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236. 'surely you don't really mean –
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237. really and seriously now,
and irritation apart –
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238. that you won't pay
these costs and damages?'
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239. 'Not one halfpenny,'
said Mr. Pickwick firmly.
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240. 'Not one halfpenny.'
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241. 'Hoorah for the principle,
as the moneylender said
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242. when he wouldn't renew the bill,'
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243. observed Mr. Weller,
who was clearing away breakfast.
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244. 'Sam,' said Mr. Pickwick,
'have the goodness to step downstairs.'
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245. 'Certainly, sir,' replied Mr. Weller,
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246. and acting on Mr. Pickwick's
gentle hint, Sam retired."
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247. Anna!
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248. I can't take it!
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249. Can't anyone help me?
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250. I can't take it!
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251. Help me!
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252. I can't...
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253. God our Father...
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254. in his infinite wisdom,
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255. has called you home to him
still in the bloom of your youth.
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256. In your life he found you worthy
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257. of bearing a long and torturous agony.
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258. You submitted patiently
and without complaint
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259. in the certain knowledge
that your sins would be forgiven
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260. through the death
of your Lord Jesus Christ on the cross.
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261. May your Father in Heaven
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262. have mercy on your soul
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263. when you come before him.
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264. May he let his angels remove from you
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265. the memory of your earthly pain.
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266. Should it be
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267. that you gathered up our suffering
into your poor body...
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268. and should it be that you bore it
with you through death...
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269. and should you meet God
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270. in that other land...
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271. and should he turn
his countenance toward you...
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272. and should you know
the language to speak
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273. so that this God
may hear and understand you...
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274. and should you be allowed
to speak with him...
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275. should all of this be so...
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276. then pray for us.
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277. Agnes, my dear child...
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278. listen to what I tell you now.
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279. Pray for those of us left behind
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280. on this dark and miserable earth
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281. beneath a cruel and empty sky.
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282. Lay your suffering at God's feet
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283. and plead with him to pardon us.
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284. Plead with him to free us
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285. of our anxiety...
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286. our weariness...
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287. and our deepest doubts.
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288. Plead with him
to give meaning to our lives.
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289. Agnes, you who have long borne
this inscrutable suffering,
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290. you are most surely worthy
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291. of pleading our cause.
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292. She was my confirmation child.
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293. We had many long
and intimate discussions.
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294. Her faith was stronger than mine.
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295. Stop by the parish office tomorrow
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296. and we can discuss
the formalities of the funeral.
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297. Karin and her husband, Fredrik,
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298. were pursuing a diplomatic career
some years earlier.
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299. During a visit home, they stayed
for some months at the manor.
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300. Anna, may I have a little more fish?
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301. Will you join me?
- No, thank you.
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302. What are you smiling about?
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303. I'm not smiling.
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304. Would you like coffee,
or will we be retiring?
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305. No coffee, thank you.
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306. It's late.
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307. I suggest we retire now.
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308. It's a web of lies, all of it.
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309. Don't look at me.
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310. Don't look at me like that, you hear?
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311. I'm sorry.
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312. Forgive me.
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313. Help me undress.
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314. You may go.
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315. Nothing but a web of lies.
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316. Every bit of it.
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317. A web of lies...
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318. What are you doing?
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319. Going through some old letters
and documents about the estate.
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320. Karin...
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321. I want us to be friends.
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322. I want us to talk to each other.
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323. After all, we're sisters.
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324. We share so many memories.
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325. It's so strange how we never touch,
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326. how we only make small talk.
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327. Why won't you be my friend?
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328. We've both been happy and unhappy.
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329. We could laugh and cry together.
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330. We could talk together
for days and nights on end.
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331. We could hold each other tight.
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332. I sometimes wander
through this childhood home of ours,
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333. where everything
is both strange and familiar...
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334. and I feel like I'm in a dream...
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335. and like some event
of great importance lies in store for us.
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336. Yes, I'm shallow and childish.
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337. You've read
and thought and experienced
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338. much more than I have.
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339. Couldn't we use these days
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340. to get to know each other
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341. and really get closer?
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342. I can't bear this distance
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343. and silence.
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344. Did I say something to hurt you?
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345. It's easy to do,
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346. but I swear I didn't mean
to hurt your feelings.
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347. What are you reading?
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348. - Agnes's diary.
- What does it say?
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349. "Thursday, September 30."
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350. It says...
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351. "I've received the most wonderful gift
anyone can receive in this life.
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352. It's called many things:
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353. togetherness,
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354. companionship,
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355. affection, tenderness.
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356. I think this is what's called 'grace.'"
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357. No, don't touch me!
Don't come near me!
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358. I can't stand to be touched.
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359. I don't want you to do that.
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360. I don't want you to.
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361. I don't want you to be kind to me.
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362. No!
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363. I can't stand it!
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364. It's constant anguish.
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365. It's like being in hell.
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366. I can't breathe.
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367. All the guilt!
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368. No!
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369. Leave me alone.
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370. Don't touch me.
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371. Don't touch me.
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372. I'm sorry I lost control
of myself this morning.
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373. I don't know what came over me.
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374. I suppose it's all the emotion
around Agnes's death.
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375. We were so fond of her.
Now that the funeral is over,
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376. I'll have our lawyer
look after the legal formalities.
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377. The fruit please, Anna.
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378. It's best we sell
the house and grounds.
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379. You and I can divide up
all the rest –
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380. furniture, china,
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381. pictures, silverware, and books.
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382. Would you step outside
a moment, Anna?
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383. What shall we do about Anna?
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384. I suggest we give her
a little extra something and let her go.
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385. We'll give her
some little article of Agnes's too.
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386. She was very devoted.
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387. I understand they were quite close.
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388. Now she trails after us
in much too familiar a manner.
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389. I think –
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390. It's true.
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391. I've...
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392. often thought...
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393. of taking my own life.
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394. It's –
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395. It's disgusting.
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396. It's degrading...
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397. and it never ever changes.
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398. Henrik's an excellent lawyer,
I assure you.
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399. My husband says I'm clumsy.
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400. He's right.
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401. I'm a fumbler.
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402. My hands are too big, you see.
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403. They just won't obey!
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404. You sit there
with that embarrassed smile.
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405. This isn't the sort of conversation
you'd imagined having.
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406. Do you realize I hate you?
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407. Do you realize how stupid
I find your flirtatiousness
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408. and your insipid smiles?
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409. How have I put up with you
for so long without a word?
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410. I see right through you,
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411. you and your caresses
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412. and your false promises.
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413. Can you conceive how anyone can live
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414. with all the hate I've had to bear?
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415. With no mercy or relief
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416. or help of any kind.
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417. I see it all.
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418. Nothing escapes me, you hear?
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419. Now you hear how it sounds
when the real Karin speaks.
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420. You sit there grinning
your cold little grin.
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421. What are you thinking?
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422. Would you care to tell me?
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423. May I hear madame's opinion?
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424. No! Just as I thought.
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425. You'd rather remain silent.
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426. And you're right!
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427. Forgive me.
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428. Perhaps you mean well.
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429. Perhaps you just want
to know me better.
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430. My dear Maria...
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431. forgive me.
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432. I'm just blabbering.
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433. No, that's not true either.
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434. Maria, look at me.
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435. Maria, look at me.
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436. Can't you hear that?
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437. Someone's crying.
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438. Can't you hear it?
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439. Someone's crying and crying.
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440. Are you afraid of me now?
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441. No, I'm not afraid.
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442. I'm dead, you see.
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443. The trouble is I can't get to sleep.
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444. I can't leave all of you.
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445. I'm so tired.
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446. Can't anyone help me?
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447. It's just a dream, Agnes.
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448. No, it's not a dream.
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449. Perhaps it's a dream for you,
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450. but not for me.
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451. I want Karin to come here.
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452. Agnes wants Karin
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453. to come in.
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454. Won't you hold my hands
and warm me?
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455. Stay with me until the horror is over.
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456. It's so empty all around me.
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457. No one would do what you ask.
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458. I'm still alive.
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459. I want nothing to do with your death.
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460. Perhaps if I loved you...
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461. but I don't.
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462. What you ask is repulsive.
I'm leaving you now.
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463. In a few hours I'll be gone.
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464. Anna.
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465. Yes.
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466. I want Maria to come.
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467. Agnes wants Maria
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468. to come in.
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469. Don't be afraid.
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470. Please touch me.
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471. Come talk to me.
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472. Hold my hands and warm me.
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473. You're my sister.
I won't leave you alone.
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474. I feel so incredibly sorry for you.
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475. Remember when we were little
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476. and dusk would fall as we played?
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477. We'd suddenly get scared,
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478. and we'd huddle together
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479. and hold each other tight.
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480. It's just like that now, isn't it?
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481. I can't hear what you're saying.
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482. You have to come closer.
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483. Closer.
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484. Hold my hands.
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485. I'll stay with you.
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486. I'll be here.
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487. Don't cry.
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488. I'm here.
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489. You needn't be afraid any longer.
I'll take care of her.
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490. I have my daughter to think about.
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491. She must realize that.
My husband needs me.
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492. It's repulsive, disgusting, senseless!
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493. She's already begun to rot.
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494. She has great foul spots on her hands.
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495. I'll stay with her.
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496. The funeral was tolerable.
No one wept or grew hysterical.
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497. Thank you.
Have you finished packing?
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498. There's one last trunk
to bring down, ma'am.
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499. Hurry. We have little time.
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500. The music was nice.
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501. The bishop kept it brief,
thank God.
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502. We're lucky he had a cold
so we could cancel the dinner.
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503. - Shouldn't we do something for Anna?
- Do something?
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504. I don't get your meaning.
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505. She's looked after Agnes
for the last 12 years.
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506. Shouldn't we offer her a small sum
or help her find a new place?
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507. Out of the question.
She's young and strong.
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508. She's had it very easy.
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509. Her future is not our responsibility.
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510. I did promise
she could take a memento.
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511. - Of her own choosing?
- I think she has that right.
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512. I detest that sort of spontaneity,
but a promise is a promise.
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513. We should speak to her right away.
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514. Anna, you may stay on here
for a time if need be.
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515. And you were promised
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516. a memento of Agnes's.
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517. Thank you. I want nothing at all.
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518. She's trying to act noble,
but she'll get nothing for it.
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519. - Stay through the end of the month.
- Yes.
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520. Well, if there's nothing left
to attend to.
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521. Let's leave before the roads
to the station are snowed under.
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522. Good-bye, Anna. Thank you.
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523. Thank you.
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524. Thank you for your time here.
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525. Hurry now.
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526. - Could I speak to you a second?
- Of course.
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527. That evening we got closer...
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528. have you thought
about what we discussed?
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529. Of course.
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530. Could we hold to all our resolutions?
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531. Dearest Karin, why shouldn't we?
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532. I don't know.
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533. It's all so different from that evening.
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534. I think we've gotten much closer.
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535. What are you thinking about?
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536. Our conversation.
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537. No, you're not.
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538. I'm thinking how Joakim hates it
if I keep him waiting.
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539. I don't understand
why you suddenly demand
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540. that I account for all my thoughts.
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541. What is it you want?
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542. Nothing.
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543. In that case, don't be hurt
if I must say good-bye now.
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544. You touched me.
Don't you remember that?
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545. I don't recall
every stupid thing I've done,
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546. and I won't be made to account for them!
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547. Dearest Karin, give the children
my love and keep well.
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548. We'll see each other
for Twelfth Night, as usual.
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549. How sad.
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550. "Wednesday, the third of September.
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551. A chill in the air
tells of autumn's approach,
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552. but the days are still lovely and mild..."
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553. My sisters, Karin and Maria,
have come to see me.
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554. It's wonderful to be together again
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555. like in the old days.
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556. I'm feeling much better.
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557. We were even able
to take a stroll together.
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558. It was a wonderful experience,
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559. especially for me, since I haven't
been outdoors for so long.
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560. We suddenly began to laugh
and run toward the old swing
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561. that we hadn't used
since we were children.
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562. We sat in it
like three good little sisters,
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563. and Anna pushed us,
slowly and gently.
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564. All my aches and pains were gone.
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565. The people I'm most fond of
in all the world were with me.
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566. I could hear them chatting around me.
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567. I could feel the presence of their bodies,
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568. the warmth of their hands.
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569. I wanted to cling to that moment,
and I thought...
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570. "Come what may, this is happiness.
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571. I can't wish for anything better.
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572. Now, for a few minutes,
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573. I can experience perfection,
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574. and I feel profoundly grateful to my life,
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575. which gives me so much."
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