Crank: High Voltage (2009)

1. In a story so bizarre I can scarcely believe the event I'm reporting,

2. and yet corroborated by at least a dozen eyewitnesses,

3. a white male apparently fell from the sky above downtown Los Angeles today,

4. landed in the middle of a busy intersection, destroying one vehicle

5. and hospitalizing its elderly driver,

6. and then was removed from the scene before emergency personnel could respond.

7. Without a body, the police have yet to piece together the events of a day

8. that can only be described as... implausible.

9. Reports of a second body landing in the Boyle Heights area have yet

10. to be confirmed and are being treated as the bullshit they most likely are.

11. Ooooooh.

12. Ahhh.

13. You big cock English.

14. Strong like horse.

15. Fuck that.

16. That's not so bad.

17. You like nice and rough.

18. Nice.

19. Pick up, Eve.

20. The number you have reached is not in service at this time and—

21. Fuck!

22. Shit.

23. You lost?

24. Nope.

25. Shit.

26. Shit.

27. Shit.

28. Shit.

29. On your knees, son.

30. Okay, chow mein. Who do you work for?

31. Fuck you, Chelios.

32. Fuckin' ground.

33. Oo.

34. Fuck.

35. Oo-Oo.

36. You found me in quite an unpleasant mood this morning, mate.

37. Now... I'm gonna ask you this question one time.

38. Who's gots my fucking strawberry tart?

39. Capiche?

40. J-J-...

41. - J-... J-J-...

42. - J-J—

43. Just spit the fucking name out!

44. Johnny Vang!

45. Johnny fucking Vang?

46. Johnny fucking Vang?

47. Good boy. Where?

48. Cypress Social Club!

49. Cypress... Cypress Social Club.

50. Now you're sure about that, ain't ya?

51. Good boy. Thanks for coming.

52. Now you can keep that.

53. Hello. Doc Miles.

54. Yeah... Doc, it's Chev.

55. Jesus H... Chelios!

56. You've gotta be kiddin' me.

57. Listen, I'm deadly fuckin' serious, Doc.

58. These Triad motherfuckers cut out my fuckin' heart

59. and put in one of those plastic artificial jobs.

60. You got an artificial heart?

61. Do you think I'm having a fuckin' laugh?

62. No-No-No, but you got to admit, it's a little out there, dude.

63. Yeah, you take your fuckin' time, Doc.

64. You don't have any time, if you've got an artificial heart.

65. They're not designed to keep you alive more than a couple days

66. while you're waitin' on a transplant.

67. And don't do anything strenuous.

68. Yeah, sure, Doc. No problem.

69. So what's my next fuckin' move?

70. Well, we got to get a real heart put back in you preferably your own.

71. I'm on it.

72. Okay, you're on it.

73. Doc! Jesus fucking Christ!

74. I'm-I'm sorry.

75. Sorry.

76. Does-Does— Let me— Does that thing have a a-a-a a belt battery pack?

77. Check.

78. How many bars are showing?

79. One.

80. Shit. That's better than none, I guess.

81. Look, what they did you with is an Avicor Total Artificial Heart.

82. It's got an internal battery that'll pick up once the belt battery dies.

83. It's like a reserve tank.

84. Once the internal battery takes over, you got one fuckin' hour.

85. The internal battery charges wirelessly through

86. its transcutaneous energy transfer system.

87. Two coils, there's one internal, one external that transmit the, uh,

88. magnetic force across the skin without piercing the surface.

89. The internal coil receives power and sends it to the controller device.

90. Is this makin' any fuckin' sense to you, Chevy?

91. It's fucking Greek, Doc.

92. Greek.

93. Look, you got to keep your body electrically charged to keep

94. that piece of shit pumpin'.

95. Copy that.

96. Hey, Chev.

97. Yeah.

98. I'm stoked you're alive, dude.

99. I'll get back to you, Doc.

100. Yeah, well, y— Call me.

101. Fuck!

102. Hey-Hey-Hey!

103. That's a nice car.

104. I don't suppose you know where the Cypress Social Club is, do you?

105. Man, fuck that shit, puto.

106. Let's race, ese.

107. Don't you tempt me, fucker.

108. What I need from you is directions.

109. Oh, shit.

110. Shit!

111. Damn, dog. You good, ese?

112. Tiger fuckin' Woods.

113. Never better. Greatest day of my fuckin' life.

114. You gents couldn't point me in the direction of the

115. Cypress Social Club, could ya?

116. Well, you ain't too far.

117. You go down Orange for, like, two miles and then you're there, homes.

118. Cool.

119. You mind givin' me a jump?

120. Just juice me.

121. Hey, Menudo, where's the fuckin' Social Club?

122. Uh, donde esta La Social Club?

123. Buenos nachos, white boy.

124. This is a fucking social club?

125. You Johnny Vang?

126. Uh-uh.

127. Go!

128. Get lost, bitch.

129. Fuck you!

130. What?

131. Where's Johnny Vang?

132. You lookin' to get your ass killed, dog?

133. Wrong expression.

134. You ain't tappin' my ass.

135. There you go, cupcake.

136. Fuckin' no Ebola for me today, thanks.

137. There goes my ride!

138. What's that, fucking cunt-onese?

139. I'd rather stick my dick in a blender.

140. Johnny Vang?

141. Yes.

142. Where?

143. Hey, dude why you in rush?

144. Wait for me!

145. Goddamn!

146. Get off me!

147. Get out of the fucking car!

148. Hey!

149. Get your own fuckin' station wagon!

150. Damn!

151. Fuck!

152. Hey!

153. You taking this too fast with me.

154. Which way?

155. I want you to take it slow.

156. Which way?

157. Hey! Hey!

158. You didn't ask name.

159. Shut up a minute, for fuck's sake!

160. Where is he?

161. Johnny Vang?

162. Yes!

163. Motherfucker!

164. Baby!

165. Where's fuckin' Chelios?

166. You like sushi, Chinese man?

167. How the fuck am I supposed to know what kind of "-ese" you is,

168. you slanty-eyed fuck?

169. Check it out. Sushi.

170. Hey, Chico!

171. Hm?

172. We can make a deal.

173. Hm?

174. Eve?

175. Eve.

176. Here, baby.

177. Eve!

178. Chev.

179. Hey. I need you to take your fuckin' hands off Lemon now, man.

180. Who the fuck are you?

181. Who the fuck am I? Who the fuck are you?

182. Do you know this guy, Lemon?

183. "Lemon"?

184. You were dead.

185. Uh...

186. I'm... uh, I'm so confused right now.

187. What's that ticking sound?

188. Yeah, what is that sound?

189. You're kinda weird, tick-man.

190. It's time for you to go!

191. Randy?

192. "Randy"? Come here.

193. Fuck!

194. Not you.

195. Babe, it's not—

196. Who the fuck is that?

197. Ah, some whore.

198. Fuck, no.

199. That was a mistake.

200. Oh, fuck.

201. Look she's helpin' me find my heart.

202. Yeah. What?

203. Go away.

204. Come on, let's go.

205. What?

206. Oh, you dozy cunt.

207. No.

208. We need his ass alive.

209. Chev Chelios.

210. Let's save some bullets, dude.

211. I'm up for that, when we've all had a drink.

212. Should I duck?

213. Yeah.

214. Shall I bypass the formalities?

215. Of course.

216. Who do you work for and what the fuck do they want with me?

217. EI Huron.

218. English!

219. What's a fuckin' "EI who-done"?

220. It's a ferret.

221. He wants you alive... so he can watch you die.

222. Oh, yeah? Why?

223. I don't know. Doesn't everybody?

224. Shut up. Oo, you lucky bastard.

225. Eve, let's go.

226. Che-Che, Che-Che-Che— Chev Cherios.

227. Get on the floor now!

228. Turn around.

229. Hey!

230. Hey!

231. Oh, it's on now!

232. No, stop!

233. Get off!

234. Get off me, ma'am!

235. Stop it!

236. No!

237. Why didn't you call me?

238. Like fuck I didn't.

239. Didn't you get my message?

240. No!

241. Where have you been for the last three months?

242. I thought you were dead.

243. I fell a mile out of a helicopter.

244. It's a long story.

245. No way! You know what?

246. That's totally possible.

247. I saw this video on YouTube where this guy's parachute doesn't open

248. and he falls like fourteen thousand feet and he lives.

249. Yes baby, I know it's possible because I fuckin' did it!

250. Quit it.

251. Since when were you on the Internet?

252. You know, a lot of things have changed since you died.

253. I didn't fuckin' die.

254. Well, that's besides the point, isn't it?

255. Get off!

256. Oo!

257. Where are we going, Chev?

258. I don't know.

259. I need to find that slant from the club, the one with the red cooler.

260. Are you talking about Johnny Vang?

261. Do you know Johnny Vang?

262. I know his ass.

263. He's got that box with him all the time.

264. That box. I need it.

265. I can bet on my grandma's coochie he's at the horse track.

266. Dude, you gonna put Johnny Vang on ice?

267. Maybe.

268. That's so fuckin' sexy.

269. Fuckin' dead.

270. Didn't they cuff you?

271. Damn it. Do me.

272. I'll do you.

273. Bitch.

274. I got to get a hold— I've got to call Doc.

275. I need a cell phone.

276. Why didn't you just say it?

277. I have a cell phone.

278. Here.

279. You got a cell phone.

280. I got you.

281. Okay?

282. You've got to work for the things that—

283. Chevy?

284. I lost the belt battery, Doc.

285. How long ago?

286. Over an hour.

287. Jesus Christ, that's not fuckin' possible, Chevy.

288. You should be dea— Fuck, never mind.

289. Look... it's a wireless system,

290. so any kind of low-level electrical shock to your skin should juice it.

291. At least temporarily.

292. Hey, Chev I'm a certified heart surgeon.

293. Well, I... I was.

294. I lost my license after I fucked up

295. my ex-wife's vaginal rejuvenation procedure in our basement.

296. That's irrelevant right now.

297. The point is if you can get hold of your heart,

298. I'm reasonably sure I can put it back in for you.

299. Okay, Doc.

300. I'll be in touch when I find that Chinese cocksucker that's got me pump.

301. That you even had to choose between Phyllis and me.

302. Chinese?

303. Sharon, I just shut down, okay?

304. I couldn't think.

305. I couldn't feel.

306. Hey, Chocolate would you get off your fat ass and get dressed?

307. Why?

308. Do you have any idea... how silly

309. Is Doc Miles gonna have to choke a bitch?

310. Do you know that I was waiting for those results, too?

311. I needed to put things in perspective.

312. Oh, you needed? I see, you needed.

313. I think I know who we're dealing with. That's how you do things now.

314. "Hell, no, we won't blow!"

315. For fuck's sake move!

316. Jesus. Shit!

317. What the fuck!

318. Shit!

319. That's right! You're gonna pay me by the inch, bitch!

320. You make a living!

321. We want to make a living!

322. You carry a weapon!

323. We carry weapons... in our pants.

324. Sick and tired of this!

325. Pay me my fuckin' wages, mother fuckers!

326. Droppin' loads on all of your silly wages!

327. They need their money.

328. What, do you want me to fuck this car?

329. What, do you want me to fuck this car?

330. Suck my fuckin' tits!

331. Get off the car.

332. I'm gonna bang that bitch in the back!

333. Hi.

334. We're just sick and tired of this!

335. Just because it's porn doesn't mean we all

336. want to do it! We like to get paid for it!

337. This is a weird scene.

338. We've got pissed-off beaver everywhere.

339. We're on pursuit.

340. Whoa!

341. "Oh!"

342. Cunt!

343. Sit!

344. Good—

345. I'm just makin' sure. Whatever.

346. Dude, he's totally doing what he's supposed to.

347. Well, he's got to know who's in charge.

348. Dude!

349. Come on!

350. He's gonna eat somebody's baby and you're gonna be in—

351. No, dude, chill. Uh, you're gonna get sued.

352. He's totally doing what he's supposed.

353. to be doing. Come on.

354. Whatever. I wanted a cat.

355. Fuck!

356. See? Way better than a cat, man.

357. Whatever.

358. Who's this fuckin' asshole?

359. You pair of sausage-Nigels.

360. How do you sleep at night? Who is this guy?

361. I'm from PETA.

362. This is animal cruelty, you fuckers.

363. Hello, there. Hey, give that back, you liberal freak.

364. Yeah-Yeah-Yeah-Yeah.

365. Um... Dude. Fuckin' shame on you two.

366. That's two hundred and fifty dollars. I tell you.

367. You pair of cunts.

368. Press the fucking button. Well, take it back.

369. Hit him.

370. Not so bad.

371. Disgusting.

372. Morning.

373. Mom would be so proud.

374. Sorry about that.

375. Give me that thing.

376. No.

377. Yeah, there you go. Go on.

378. Ruff, ruff, ruff ruff, ruff ruff!

379. If you don't press that fuckin' button, you're goin' in the pond.

380. I'm pressing it. Press it!

381. Come on, what's the matter?

382. Fuckin' wake up!

383. Make him press the button you—

384. Give him the fuckin'--

385. What are you, fuckin' useless?

386. Hey! No problem.

387. Stop right there!

388. Stop!

389. Oh, shit.

390. Oh. See, that's what I told you.

391. My fuckin' nuts!

392. Get him off!

393. It's all right!

394. Will our insurance cover that?

395. Stop it!

396. Freeze! Get down! Get down!

397. Turn around! Get down!

398. What the fuck is that around your neck?

399. Get down on the ground!

400. Show me your—

401. Are you fuckin' kidding me?

402. Kaylo?

403. Get on!

404. Both of you down on the ground now!

405. Get down! Get down!

406. Get off that fuckin' moped!

407. Kaylo, I thought you were dead.

408. My name's Venus.

409. I'm from Hollywood.

410. Kaylo was my brother.

411. Brother?

412. No shit.

413. Hey, what the fuck did you hit me for, anyway?

414. I have a condition.

415. FBT, Full Body Tourette's.

416. I can't control myself.

417. Jesus!

418. Fuck!

419. What the fuck?

420. Hey, listen, I'm sorry about your brother,

421. but I need to get to the Hollywood Park racetrack.

422. And I mean right the fuck now.

423. What's the matter, are you hurlln' or something?

424. Is that where they're at?

425. Who?

426. The ill suckers that killed my brother.

427. You're Chev "The Cheese" Chelios, right?

428. The sickest, most wickedest motherfucker

429. that ever vaporized a motherfucker in cold blood, right?

430. Yeah. That's me.

431. Yeah. So we're gonna get those suckers—

432. Get a grip on yourself.

433. It's already done.

434. Huh?

435. It's done.

436. I already took care of the ones that did Kaylo.

437. But... All of them?

438. All of them.

439. D-E-A-D. Brown bread.

440. Right Said Fred?

441. Simply Red.

442. I see.

443. Well, don't look so gloomy, Elvis.

444. I can assure you they did not die pleasantly.

445. No... you don't understand.

446. It's a matter of honor.

447. It should have been me to avenge my brother's death.

448. Well... so long, Chelios.

449. My brain hurts.

450. There is one I never got to on account of I could never find him.

451. The one that calls himself "The Ferret."

452. EI Huron?

453. You know him?

454. No. It means "The Ferret" in Spanish.

455. Right. Yeah, I knew that.

456. Listen, you want to find the dude that made your brother dead, you find him.

457. Chev?

458. Racetrack.

459. You're here.

460. That you, Chelios?

461. I'm runnin' on empty, Doc.

462. Same here, buddy.

463. I think I need to stick my dick in a socket.

464. I don't recommend that.

465. But friction...

466. Friction?

467. Yeah. Skin-on-skin contact creates static electricity.

468. You're fuckin' kidding me, right?

469. Dude... the friction of two like objects causes a transfer of electrons.

470. Science one-oh-one, Chevy.

471. You probably ditched that class. I did.

472. Find someone to rub against.

473. It's gonna help.

474. Well, it's not gonna hurt.

475. Terrific race.

476. That's a great horse, mate.

477. What the fuck, man?

478. What the fuck?

479. What are you doin'?

480. Mate, that was all you.

481. Yo, man!

482. Fuckin' Doc.

483. Hey there, mister!

484. Somebody stop him! Stop him!

485. Chev? Oh!

486. Look, my horse! My horse!

487. Get out of there!

488. Scram!

489. Please.

490. Hey, oink-oink, chill out.

491. He's just had too many drinks.

492. I got him. Okay? Go about your business.

493. All right, then.

494. Honey, let's go.

495. My heart.

496. Oh, I love you, too.

497. Honey, come on, over here.

498. Are you okay?

499. Is it the Chinese poison?

500. Friction.

501. Doc said, friction.

502. Chev.

503. Friction. Friction?

504. I'll give you friction.

505. Yeah.

506. Oh.

507. Babe.

508. Babe, what are you doin'?

509. Yeah. I know how this game works.

510. Oh, yes, work it, baby.

511. Okay.

512. Yeah. Fuck!

513. Keep goin', doll.

514. Rub it, baby.

515. Yeah rub it!

516. Okay good.

517. Rub it!

518. Oh, my God.

519. It's gross.

520. Hey!

521. No!

522. Oh!

523. Oh, baby.

524. Fuck, it's workin', Eve!

525. That's smashing!

526. Fuckin' do it, babe! Come on!

527. Doc Miles, you motherfucker!

528. You fuckin' nailed it, Doc!

529. You fuckin' got it, Doctor!

530. Oh, my God.

531. Baby, switch.

532. Give the kitty some cream, baby.

533. Give the kitty some more cream.

534. That's it! Who's your horse!

535. Fuckin' Eve!

536. This is your lucky day.

537. I fuckin' love you!

538. I love you so much!

539. Eve! Stop!

540. The race is over!

541. Oh!

542. Door number six!

543. Dude I'm coming!

544. You're fucking useless.

545. Yeah?

546. Well, you ain't no Ralph Macchio yourself, Chev!

547. Oh, fuck!

548. Did I drop some change or did I hear a chink?

549. Fuck you, man!

550. Yeah, fuck me?

551. Give me that fuckin' box!

552. Come here, cunt!

553. Fuck you, Chelios!

554. Number six, Fire Carrier Number seven...

555. Number eight, Flying Bearcat.

556. Get in.

557. Number ten

558. Ah.

559. Chev Chelios.

560. Don motherfucking Kim.

561. Looks like you pulled my lily-white ass out of the hot grease again.

562. Please... don't thank me.

563. I don't think I shall.

564. Now, I'm not sure if you're aware of this, Jeeves, but your slant-eyed associates

565. have taken something of extreme value to me.

566. And I intend to get it back.

567. You know what you are, Chev Chelios?

568. Tell me.

569. You... are a shit magnet.

570. Your friend has the gay condition.

571. And now where were we?

572. You were about to tell me exactly who's got what I need and why.

573. You may have heard of the name... "Poon Dong."

574. Only in dirty limericks.

575. The patriarch of our organization said to be one hundred years old,

576. considered to be more god than man by the Triad gangs.

577. Well, several months ago, word had spread out that Poon Dong had taken gravely ill

578. and without a heart transplant, only had few days left to live.

579. I see.

580. Of course, that was unacceptable.

581. Many a Triad would have given their hearts from their own breasts to save

582. the life of Poon Dong. But not me.

583. Fuck that. But many.

584. Then word spread out that there was a man

585. who had a heart so powerful that he was capable of surviving

586. even our most deadliest of poisons.

587. Yeah, the Chinese shit.

588. Yes.

589. It was you, Chev Chelios.

590. It was your heart that Poon Dong chose to replace his own.

591. One more question. Who the fuck is EI Huron, The Ferret?

592. And how is he involved with all this?

593. The Ferret?

594. Ah. Let's just say our organizations have a history of, uh, conflicting interests.

595. I see.

596. Well, that's mighty white of you to help me out like this Donald.

597. Now, if you don't mind...

598. Uh who said I was helping you out?

599. My reward for returning you to Poon Dong will be great.

600. So, this is how it is?

601. This is how it is.

602. Chicken and broccoli.

603. Dude... are you all right?

604. Aye, never better.

605. Fish Halman here, bringing you breaking,

606. on-the-scenes coverage of an explosion of mayhem,

607. murder and lewd behavior that has swept the Long Beach area this morning.

608. Our viewers may remember a similar series of incidents

609. which took place some three months back involving this unidentified man.

610. Police are now confirming that today's

611. lurid events are the work of that very same psychotic deviant.

612. Ted Garcia's standing by in Hollywood Park with a live report.

613. Take it away, Ted.

614. Thanks, Fish.

615. I'm standing here with a group of people — families,

616. seniors and degenerate gamblers —

617. that are shocked and traumatized

618. by what they've witnessed here today

619. when what started as a sunny,

620. southern California afternoon at the races turned,

621. without warning, into a public, open air porno.

622. Did you say "porno," Ted?

623. Straight up, Fish. I'd like you to meet...

624. Glenda Lansing of Hawaiian Gardens.

625. Glenda says she had an all-too up-close-and-personal encounter

626. with the suspect just moments before the shocking incident occurred.

627. That bastard had his filthy hands all over me.

628. Could you describe exactly what happened?

629. I never saw a bastard wanted it so bad.

630. He put his filthy hands on every part of me.

631. Okay, that's a little too much information for this broadcast, Glenda.

632. Can you describe the man that assaulted you?

633. He looked like that fella from the movies.

634. The teabag.

635. Teabag?

636. You know, the trainspotted fella?

637. Built like a-a brick shithouse.

638. All right, ma'am, you know that kind of language is not gonna fly on TV.

639. Well, that son of a bitch.

640. He treated me like his hot little whore.

641. Explain to me again how you let this motherfucker get away.

642. He just uh went buck wild and killed everybody.

643. But not you.

644. Just got lucky, EI.

645. The three of us work the Puerto way!

646. You know the drill, bitch.

647. Do it.

648. Andale!

649. Do it!

650. Now the other one.

651. You bought yourself another chance.

652. I don't think you'll fuck it up next time.

653. Now... go get yourself a Band-Aid... and go get me fucking Chelios, cabron!

654. That's the last time.

655. The last time that son of a bitch leaves me

656. with my ass in the wind in front of eight thousand people!

657. W-W-Wait, Lemon!

658. Hey-Hey-Hey-Hey! It's me.

659. Randy. Hi.

660. What the hell are you doing here?

661. Look, it's about the dude.

662. What dude?

663. The asshole.

664. What about him?

665. He's on every channel.

666. The guy's a fuckin' psycho killer, baby!

667. Every cop in the city's lookin' for him.

668. Not to mention the fuckin' beaners and the fuckin' Orientals.

669. So?

670. So? So?

671. So the heat's on the street and that dude's playin' for keeps, baby.

672. I have no idea what the hell you just said.

673. Look, Lemon-Lemon-Lemon, look.

674. What?

675. I know we've all been down our dark roads in the past, okay, babe?

676. I need my hair did, my nails did, you ain't gave me no money.

677. Where's you been at, Randy?

678. If I ever catch you with another bitch—

679. Well, you do got a big-ass dick for a white boy.

680. Anyway, look.

681. The point is... you're my lady now.

682. All right?

683. And I don't think it's really safe for you to be out there with

684. that-that sick fucker running wild right now.

685. You can say that again.

686. Look, look-look-look, hey-hey, listen to me.

687. Listen to me. Here's what I think we should do.

688. What Randy?

689. All right.

690. I say we go to the fuzz.

691. All right?

692. We tell 'em everything we know. We come clean.

693. What?

694. Yeah, the fuzz, all right?

695. I mean, I'd kill this guy myself,

696. but I got two strikes against me.

697. Let go of me.

698. Look, baby.

699. All right, I'm tryin' to be cool to you, but I will drop the hammer.

700. You want me to drop the hammer, baby?

701. I'm in no mood today, Randy!

702. Lemon! Lemon!

703. Freeze! Hey!

704. Now spread it! Come on, let's go.

705. Against the car.

706. Si.

707. Don't leave no skid marks, nigga!

708. Ride that shit, Big Betsy.

709. Throw your arm up, son, like...

710. Eight seconds, nigger. Yeah!

711. Oh, my God.

712. Hello.

713. Orlando.

714. Venus! What is up, my man?

715. Where you been, man?

716. I ain't seen your ass since—

717. Hey, by the way, man, we was all of us broken up about

718. what happened to your brother, man.

719. You okay?

720. Orlando, I need your help.

721. Venus, come on.

722. You know you my nigger, you can't get no bigger. L.A. underground,

723. we're like a family, man. You—

724. That's it, baby.

725. We be a-be a freak-ass family, but we be family, all right?

726. We look out for our own. What you need?

727. I'm looking for a man called The Ferret.

728. EI Huron.

729. Aw, shit.

730. Ferret?

731. Hey. Oh. Oh, great.

732. We gotta keep him hydrated.

733. Step on it! Fuck!

734. Hold it in-Hold it in!

735. Fuck.

736. This is an ambulance you fuckhead!

737. Hey, we got to drain those organs!

738. Hold it in!

739. Jesus! What the fuck are you doin'?

740. This is an ambulance!

741. That's right, motherfucker.

742. I'm aware of that.

743. 'Cause I'm in need of emergency services.

744. Yeah, uh we have got a guy in the back of the fuckin' ambulance!

745. Get him out of here, man!

746. That's one of Don Kim's blokes.

747. This man is in critical condition! Get the fuck out of here!

748. Yes, I'm aware of that.

749. I'm the fucker that put him there.

750. Now...

751. Okay. He's got a gun!

752. According to my physician...

753. Okay.

754. I'm in need of an external lithium battery belt...

755. for an Avicor Total Artificial Heart.

756. Might you have such a thing?

757. We're gonna lose him, Brock.

758. Uh, please, look, this guy's fuckin' dying.

759. Don't worry about him. He's not gonna make it.

760. Now, about my battery...

761. Yeah, the, uh-the, uh, you said the Avicor T.A.H. Yeah, we got it, but why?

762. Holy... shit!

763. Chop-chop.

764. Okay.

765. Oh, fu—

766. He's... fucking dead, man!

767. Do you mind?

768. You ready for this shit?

769. Do it then.

770. Damn.

771. Turn the fuckin' thing on.

772. Feels like, uh... crack.

773. Yeah... but better.

774. You know, those things aren't designed for strenuous activity.

775. Tell me about it.

776. Stop the fucking ambulance!

777. No, dude, you got to go to the hospital.

778. Fuck it.

779. Bing fucking Crosby.

780. Breathe out.

781. Raise your buttocks upward by first walking up the board slightly...

782. Come on, down that doggie.

783. then straightening your legs.

784. Feel that great— Down, dog— Hello.

785. Doc, I'm close.

786. So am I. Chev can this wait a second?

787. I think I've found that motherfucker that's got my organ.

788. Wait!

789. Hey!

790. I think I got the skinny on that Triad geezer from my girls on the streets, Chev.

791. Old news, Doc.

792. I'll get back to you when I have the tart.

793. Chevy, wait!

794. Chev Cherios!

795. Fuckin' clowns.

796. Goddamn it.

797. It's completely normal to be freaked out when someone has a gun at your head.

798. I would've shit myself.

799. I still have nightmares.

800. Everybody has nightmares.

801. The point is by coming here and talking with me

802. you made a choice to confront your issues and lick 'em.

803. I can't even leave my fucking apartment.

804. I ca—I— Every time I go up to... leave the door, I-I see the guy with the gun.

805. I'm having a really bad day.

806. Oh, shit!

807. Tell me you've got epinephrine on this fuckin' cart.

808. Think about it like this, Ankleson.

809. Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

810. You got to go out and enjoy it.

811. Knock back a couple of beers... hit a titty bar.

812. Uh... excuse me?

813. Have. Some smelly snatch rubbed in your face.

814. You got to get out there, man.

815. Yeah. I'm gonna do it.

816. I'm gonna go out there and tackle the world.

817. No, don't tackle the world.

818. Tackle a fuckin' whore.

819. Get your dick wet. Yeah.

820. Dip your wick into life a little bit.

821. Have some fun.

822. Yeah.

823. I'm gonna go out there and I'm gonna floss my teeth with some pubes.

824. Oh... now you're on it.

825. Thanks, doctor.

826. Oh, my pleasure.

827. No, no, no, the pleasure's all mine.

828. I'm done with fear. My life begins today.

829. Fuck!

830. Whoo!

831. Whoo!

832. Maybe we better call nine-one-one.

833. Where's my box?

834. No!

835. No!

836. Five more like that... and your brains will be strawberry jelly.

837. You can't look in that box!

838. The key and the fuckin' combo.

839. No!

840. Do it.

841. That's better.

842. This isn't my fuckin' pumper!

843. What the— What is that? What kind of sick freak carries

844. something like this around in a box?

845. I am shocked to my fucking core.

846. You've got some deep problems, motherfucker.

847. What the fuck is that?

848. That one I sort of know and it's fuckin' got to come back and fuckin' r-run it—

849. What the fuck is this?

850. What the fuck is tha—

851. Hello.

852. Doc.

853. Chevy.

854. When you hung up on me, I was trying to fuckin' tell you something.

855. Your heart was transplanted three weeks ago into that Shaolin motherfucker.

856. Fucking great. Now what?

857. I'm on it.

858. Poon Dong is still in L.A.

859. And if I'm right he's got what you need in pristine working

860. condition beating inside his chest.

861. Good.

862. Where do I find him?

863. Don't worry about it.

864. I got people on the street.

865. Good luck with that, Doc. I'll try it my way.

866. Come here, you. Up you get.

867. Okay, darling. One last dance.

868. Where's the fuckin' old man?

869. What old man?

870. Hey! Hey I-I got five dollars says you'll blow me for twenty bucks.

871. Oh. Oh, stop. Stop right here.

872. Stop right here. Hey, baby.

873. Hey. Oh. Hiya.

874. Hey, baby. How you doin'?

875. I'm doin' okay, baby.

876. Oh, yeah?

877. How you doin'?

878. What you need?

879. You know what I need.

880. Let's take a walk.

881. Come on, Daddy.

882. Fuck you, Chelios.

883. Fuck you, Chelios!

884. Hey, fuck you, Chelios!

885. fuck you Chelios

886. Fucking fuck your balls, Chelios.

887. Hey, yo, Chelios. Fuck you.

888. fuck off Chelios

889. Fuck... off... Cheli-fucking-os!

890. Tell me what he's like when he's at home.

891. When he's home? He's like a ghost.

892. He just plays those video games...

893. all day, all night.

894. Video games

895. All day.

896. And you let him do that.

897. Oh.

898. Well, I mean, you did buy the games for him, yeah?

899. Of course. Why should I deny my son?

900. How are you today, Chev?

901. I'm golden, sir.

902. Your mum tells me that you've been getting into quite a bit of trouble.

903. Is that true?

904. Yes, sir. Regretfully, that's true.

905. What kind of trouble?

906. Fighting... talking back... pinching.

907. Pinching what?

908. Televisions, stereo components, books from the library.

909. That's not all.

910. No, sir.

911. Also, a till from a restaurant.

912. And one car.

913. A toy car?

914. No, sir. A BMW Zed One.

915. Don't you—

916. Chev, sit. Sit down.

917. People.

918. People. All right.

919. I hear you've been having quite a bit of trouble at school, too.

920. Chelios!

921. Nothing I can't handle, sir.

922. I have a lot of piss and vinegar.

923. He's hyperactive.

924. Oh, shite, Mom!

925. Hey! You want to watch your dirty little mouth, son.

926. We tried givin' him Ritalin, but...

927. Chev?

928. I sold it.

929. With all this energy, uh, you've never thought about,

930. I don't know, tryin' out for sports?

931. I like to run.

932. Chev.

933. Where's Dad?

934. I never met the wanker.

935. He died before I was born.

936. What do you think he'd say if he saw you acting out like this?

937. Don't know, sir.

938. If he were here now... and he asked you...

939. "Why the bloody hell do you do the things you do, son?"

940. what would you tell him?

941. Don't know, sir. Bored, I guess.

942. Bored, he guesses.

943. Bored?

944. Bored?

945. Shut up.

946. We're gonna take a short break now but when we return...

947. we are gonna find out what makes you tick little man.

948. Hey. You okay? Wake up.

949. Wake up.

950. Ria, baby.

951. Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-What happened to you?

952. Wh-What are you doin' out here?

953. Oh. Trying to get my boyfriend.

954. What are you out here for?

955. Uh, I'm looking for the man that killed my brother.

956. Yeah.

957. I have to go. I might not come back.

958. Give all the girls kisses and hugs for me, okay?

959. I kiss and hug all the pussy.

960. You go kill cocksucker.

961. Some boyfriend you got there, Miss Lydon.

962. He lied to you for what, six months, regarding his line of work,

963. which I guess wouldn't be such a big deal if he wasn't a hired killer!

964. He made you a target for the South American mob for kidnapping, torture,

965. or worse sexually humiliated you in front of— what?

966. I don't know— half of Los Angeles, twice.

967. Twice!

968. And then left you there to take the rap.

969. And now you can add an arrest and a police record to

970. the list of wonderful things Mr. Chelios has brought to your life.

971. Help me out here, sweetheart, okay?

972. 'Cause, uh... 'cause I'm a little bit confused.

973. Why the fuck... do you continue to protect this asshole?

974. That's a dicky question.

975. Besides, I don't know who you're talking about.

976. I mean... I'd like to see you fall out of a helicopter and live.

977. What?

978. Hm?

979. It looks like you made bail.

980. Great. Can I have my stuff back?

981. Yeah. Yeah, just, uh, just one little piece of advice.

982. Wake the fuck up... and smell what's burning.

983. Hola, Chev.

984. I take it you're the greasy fucker that's been huntin' me all day.

985. The Ferret.

986. Some people know me by this fucking name.

987. And many men have died cursing the name of EI Huron...

988. as they choked on their own blood and the blood of their families.

989. Colorful geezer.

990. I was born with another name... the name of my father.

991. Yeah-Yeah-Yeah-Yeah-Yeah, fuckin' hell.

992. And my father's father's.

993. We're all very sad.

994. And the name... that I share... with my two brothers...

995. Alejandro...

996. and Ricardo.

997. Verona.

998. Well, I-I can tell... by the tick-tick-tick...

999. that you had no idea...

1000. that there was a third brother.

1001. Nope.

1002. That fact escaped me... or I assure you, Elvis,

1003. I would have made it a fucking hat trick.

1004. I got a trick-or-treat for you cabron.

1005. I'm gonna make you wish... that you was never a man.

1006. If you want to kill what's left of me, you get on with it.

1007. What's the rush, Chelios?

1008. I know someone who's going to love to watch this.

1009. You.

1010. You got the donor?

1011. Like you got a boner.

1012. Hey, baby.

1013. You always say y-you want to be more spontaneous.

1014. Uh-uh, cowboy.

1015. Huh?

1016. We gonna go back to my place.

1017. Ooh.

1018. Yeah.

1019. That sounds good.

1020. Ricardo never wanted my money Chelios.

1021. He was, uh, too stubborn.

1022. He wanted to make his own way.

1023. But now I think he likes what my money can buy.

1024. The technology to keep his brain alive.

1025. Not forever but long enough to watch you die.

1026. Yo, Ferret this ain't Roots, man.

1027. Que?

1028. Hey, cabron.

1029. You got to be fucking kidding me.

1030. You killed my brother, motherfucker.

1031. Prepare to die.

1032. No!

1033. Fuck you, Chelios!

1034. Ronnie James Dio!

1035. Chucha madre!

1036. This way, sugar.

1037. Confucius say... karma's a bitch.

1038. Uh-oh.

1039. Hello, Ricky.

1040. Why do we go on like this, Ricky?

1041. Hurting each other?

1042. Water?

1043. Did you say, "Water"?

1044. H-two-O coming right up.

1045. Motherfucker!

1046. Chev Cherios! Che—

1047. Chev Cherios. Chev. Chev.

1048. Che—

1049. Che— Che—

1050. I'm cuttin' the battery.

1051. The battery's out.

1052. Paddies. Give me the paddies.

1053. What's going on?

1054. Chevy.

1055. Clear!

1056. Fuck!

1057. Shit!

1058. No!

1059. God!

1060. Come here.

1061. What the fuck is wrong with you, man?

1062. What the fuck?

1063. Jesus.

1064. It's so hard to keep a straight face.

1065. Wait

1066. Sorry, Chet.

1067. Come back here.

1068. Nail the mark.

1069. All right, let's go.

1070. Uh, body parts ready?

1071. Yes!

1072. All right.

1073. Taping. Here we go.

1074. And... you set there?

1075. Ready and...

1076. Action, Mike!

1077. Andrew!

1078. Go. Go, Lance. Run, Lance.

1079. Action, Manning!

1080. Droppin' loads all over your silly wages!

1081. You think these muscles are free?

1082. You think this cock's for free?

1083. No way! No scabs, no crabs!

1084. No scabs, no crabs! I'm gonna bang that bitch in the back!

1085. I'm gonna bang your prisoner!

1086. Droppin' loads all over your prisoner!

1087. Okay. Look at Jason and say it.

1088. Droppin' loads all over your prisoner!

1089. Droppin' loads all over your silly wages!

1090. Yeah! Yeah! Fuck you!

1091. I take it you're the faggot that's been hunting me all day.

1092. No-No-No-No. No.

1093. I take it day. The Faggot.

1094. The Faggot. Oh, sorry, the Ferret.

1095. No dough, no blow! No dough, no blow!

1096. Dicks like this don't come for free!

1097. Huh. Lips like this don't come for free.

1098. That's what I meant to say.

1099. I got lost.

1100. I meant, "Lips like this don't come for free."

1101. Keep goin'.

1102. Oo. Oh. Ooh-hoo. Oo.

1103. Oo, my horse!

1104. What?

1105. I never had it that way before.

1106. Let us kiss for a second.

1107. Okay. Yeah. Okay-Okay.

1108. And here we go.

1109. And action!

1110. Water.

1111. Fuck! You need a few mints.

1112. Holy shit.

1113. That was unbelievable. Are you okay?

1114. Yeah. Holy shit! Oh, fuck!

1115. That was fuckin' cool!

1116. Almost cradled the balls on that.

1117. That was fuckin' great! Look, I'm sure we got it.

1118. You good?

1119. Yeah.

1120. Good job, brother.

1121. That was so cool. That was awesome.

1122. You okay? Holy shit.

1123. Yeah.

1124. Wow!

1125. Fuck, that was hot!