1. Oh.
Copy !req
2. Please stand by for test 123
Copy !req
3. in T-minus ten.
Copy !req
4. I repeat, T-minus ten.
Copy !req
5. Dr. Lorre,
what are you doing?
Copy !req
6. I need to get a message out.
Copy !req
7. I know too much.
Copy !req
8. They're not going to
let us leave.
Copy !req
9. I'm sending for help.
Copy !req
10. Everything is going to
be okay, my little Tweety.
Copy !req
11. I promise.
Copy !req
12. Phew.
Copy !req
13. Huh?
Copy !req
14. There he is! Go!
Copy !req
15. You can jump,
or we can push you.
Copy !req
16. Someday the truth will be known.
Copy !req
17. Beep beep.
Copy !req
18. Beep beep.
Copy !req
19. Beep beep.
Copy !req
20. Beep beep.
Copy !req
21. Everyone,
what's that thing in the sky?
Copy !req
22. I don't know.
I'll just shoot it down.
Copy !req
23. Lock on target.
Clear to engage.
Copy !req
24. Oh $#@!
Copy !req
25. Beep beep.
Copy !req
26. Beep beep.
Copy !req
27. Have you gotten into a catapult
Copy !req
28. hoping to be gently
and sensibly flown
Copy !req
29. to a destination
of your choosing,
Copy !req
30. only to be violently pile-drived
Copy !req
31. face-first into the ground?
Copy !req
32. Have you ever set a big stack
of TNT on the road
Copy !req
33. hoping to blow up your nemesis,
Copy !req
34. but when you
press the detonator,
Copy !req
35. the detonator itself explodes?
Copy !req
36. Have you ever pulled
the ripcord of your parachute
Copy !req
37. and only a bunch
of silverware comes out?
Copy !req
38. It's not your fault.
Copy !req
39. There's probably
someone to blame.
Copy !req
40. We'll be your voice.
Copy !req
41. - Avery.
- Jones.
Copy !req
42. - Maltese.
- Justice!
Copy !req
43. Two for Tuesdays.
Copy !req
44. Yes, thank you.
I'd like to order some...
Copy !req
45. fli— fl—
Copy !req
46. Lilacs.
Copy !req
47. Hey, wrecking ball smash.
Copy !req
48. I could probably get you
250 bucks for that.
Copy !req
49. See you next week.
Copy !req
50. Thank you for calling
Copy !req
51. Avery, Jones & Maltese.
Copy !req
52. If you've been hit
by an anvil, press one.
Copy !req
53. If you've been
electrocuted, press two.
Copy !req
54. If you've been crushed by
a falling piano, press three.
Copy !req
55. - Good morning.
- It's almost 3:00.
Copy !req
56. Oh.
Copy !req
57. - Good morning, Dottie.
- Not now.
Copy !req
58. - Do they have the paperwork—
- Sal?
Copy !req
59. Hey, Kev.
You sleep in that suit again?
Copy !req
60. Good eye.
Copy !req
61. I've been waiting for you.
Copy !req
62. Hi. I have found
some catastrophic fires,
Copy !req
63. coincidentally all
near match factories,
Copy !req
64. and I really think it's
a great opportunity to help
Copy !req
65. a lot of people with one case.
Copy !req
66. How long is
this internship again?
Copy !req
67. Three more months,
just enough time to really
Copy !req
68. dig in and make a difference.
Copy !req
69. You know, you really remind me
Copy !req
70. of when I was fresh
out of law school.
Copy !req
71. And I mean that
in the worst possible way.
Copy !req
72. And I will take that
as a compliment—
Copy !req
73. Oh, no, look, you got this.
Copy !req
74. I'm gonna do you a favor,
because you're my niece
Copy !req
75. and I want you
to have a happy life.
Copy !req
76. Stop.
Copy !req
77. - At Oxford...
- I have a feeling
Copy !req
78. I'm gonna be hearing
that phrase a lot.
Copy !req
79. At Oxford, they really stress
the importance of the law
Copy !req
80. on everyday lives,
and all you're really
Copy !req
81. having me do right now
is brainstorm ideas
Copy !req
82. - for your billboards.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
83. You're new here,
so you don't know that
Copy !req
84. this file goes right over here.
Copy !req
85. And that, my friend, is freedom.
Copy !req
86. - I really wanna pick it up.
- No, no, no, no, no.
Copy !req
87. And I really wanna
file it alphabetically.
Copy !req
88. No, you will not. Please.
Copy !req
89. You've got a new client
in the conference room.
Copy !req
90. He seems unhinged. Good luck.
Copy !req
91. Mr. Coyote?
Copy !req
92. K-Yote— Ca-yote?
Copy !req
93. All right, well,
How can I help you?
Copy !req
94. Oh, one of my billboards.
Copy !req
95. Cost a lot of money
to put those up.
Copy !req
96. So you've been in an accident?
Copy !req
97. Do you not talk?
Copy !req
98. Oh, but you have signs.
Copy !req
99. I don't, uh, understand.
Copy !req
100. All right.
Copy !req
101. Is that supposed to be you?
And, uh, who's that?
Copy !req
102. Uh, okay. What do you—
Copy !req
103. Not entirely necessary
to do all that, but okay.
Copy !req
104. So,
seems like we're talking about
Copy !req
105. some faulty rocket skates
that backfired when you were
Copy !req
106. trying to capture
a bird that you have
Copy !req
107. some sort of
sordid history with?
Copy !req
108. So do you have
the rocket skates?
Copy !req
109. Okay, great.
Copy !req
110. So we're gonna write in
your name as the plaintiff.
Copy !req
111. Then we'll say we're asking
for, I don't know, $300?
Copy !req
112. 300 and here we'll write
in the name of the company
Copy !req
113. that made the skates.
Copy !req
114. Let me guess. Acme?
Copy !req
115. But they're great to deal with
for little stuff like this.
Copy !req
116. We just drop your skates
in a box, type up a complaint,
Copy !req
117. and boom, you're the richest
Coyote in the country.
Copy !req
118. All I need is a signature.
Or you just wanna lick it,
Copy !req
119. that's probably fine, too.
There we go.
Copy !req
120. Uh, what, uh...
Copy !req
121. Wait. Mr. Coyote.
Hey, somebody grab that guy.
Copy !req
122. Mr. Coyote.
Look, I just need you to sign.
Copy !req
123. It's an Acme stapler?
Copy !req
124. Yes, that is how staplers work.
Copy !req
125. Oh, God.
Copy !req
126. Okay, I get it,
there are problems
Copy !req
127. with Acme's cartoon products.
Copy !req
128. I see it all the time.
Copy !req
129. I mean, I'm surprised
Acme makes my phone in my car.
Copy !req
130. Why would they also make this?
Copy !req
131. This is just
silly stuff for cartoons.
Copy !req
132. You know, what's the worst
that could really happen?
Copy !req
133. They see some birds
whipping around their heads.
Copy !req
134. Well, it doesn't seem
that silly to me.
Copy !req
135. Paige, this is a run-of-the-mill
Copy !req
136. $300 rocket skate case,
trust me.
Copy !req
137. And doesn't that mean
that's a pile of $300 cases?
Copy !req
138. Paige, come on.
Do you know what would happen
Copy !req
139. if we submitted all this
stuff as evidence together?
Copy !req
140. We'd have a giant
lawsuit on our hands.
Copy !req
141. That would—
that would be amazing.
Copy !req
142. And if you could prove
a causal connection,
Copy !req
143. then really,
the sky's the limit.
Copy !req
144. The sky is not the limit,
all right?
Copy !req
145. The limit is, like, right here.
Copy !req
146. We don't do massive cases.
We do quick and easy. Right?
Copy !req
147. Huh?
Where'd all the stuff go?
Copy !req
148. So, Mr. Coyote,
my professional opinion
Copy !req
149. is that this case is worth,
Copy !req
150. you know, a few hundred dollars.
Copy !req
151. And I can see if they'll replace
Copy !req
152. the rocket skates,
so I need you to sign this.
Copy !req
153. Rude. All right, well,
it was nice meeting you.
Copy !req
154. Do you mind putting the
evidence box into the system?
Copy !req
155. I'm going to lunch.
Copy !req
156. Here you go.
Into evidence, please.
Copy !req
157. All right, what do we got here?
Copy !req
158. Jeez, someone's suing for a lot.
Copy !req
159. This is where
we're gonna hit the...
Copy !req
160. Oh! Excuse me.
Copy !req
161. Cartoon products cases
go down to the basement.
Copy !req
162. Governor, these threats...
Copy !req
163. they're tantamount to blackmail.
Copy !req
164. The law's completely
on our side here.
Copy !req
165. 'Cause we wrote the law.
Copy !req
166. Yeah.
Okay, great to catch up.
Copy !req
167. You better be straightening
away on the Plapinger case.
Copy !req
168. Oh, it's done. Let's just say
Copy !req
169. his next vacation
will be in prison.
Copy !req
170. But I got something else.
Copy !req
171. Cartoon case? Basement.
Copy !req
172. Yeah, I think
you need to see this one.
Copy !req
173. They're suing us for every
Acme cartoon product.
Copy !req
174. Who?
Copy !req
175. I wasn't familiar with the name.
Copy !req
176. Look, just pay me
the money you owe me,
Copy !req
177. or I'll sue you
for breach of contract.
Copy !req
178. Okay, I gotta go.
I'll call you later, Mom.
Copy !req
179. Well, well, well.
Copy !req
180. If it isn't
our resident hotshot.
Copy !req
181. What does that mean?
Copy !req
182. Serving Acme for every one
of their cartoon products?
Copy !req
183. Yeah, right.
Copy !req
184. Do I look like the guy
Copy !req
185. who would take on the biggest
corporation in the world?
Copy !req
186. You're looking
at the guy who is taking on
Copy !req
187. the biggest corporation
in the world.
Copy !req
188. Channel 4 News has just learned
Copy !req
189. that papers were filed today
against the Acme Corporation.
Copy !req
190. Buddy Crane,
Acme's chief legal counsel,
Copy !req
191. declined to comment.
Copy !req
192. How did this happen?
Copy !req
193. It's okay.
It's okay. It's exciting.
Copy !req
194. All eyes on you, ready to
show them what you got.
Copy !req
195. Paige, when we sue Acme
for some little thing...
Copy !req
196. - Yes.
- ... nobody even notices.
Copy !req
197. We're a tiny item
on a spreadsheet.
Copy !req
198. But this?
This went to Buddy Crane.
Copy !req
199. - Who?
- Buddy Crane?
Copy !req
200. He's only, like, the best
lawyer in the country.
Copy !req
201. - Okay.
- Went to law school together,
Copy !req
202. and he is a total machine.
Copy !req
203. Built like an ox,
his mind is sharp as a tack.
Copy !req
204. Trims his fingernails
with a switchblade.
Copy !req
205. You know, I once saw him
eat a lobster...
Copy !req
206. - Well, I eat lobster.
- ... while it was still alive.
Copy !req
207. Not even sure that's legal.
Copy !req
208. What could I have possibly
done to deserve all this?
Copy !req
209. - Did I piss off a witch?
- Oh, no.
Copy !req
210. - We good.
- Then how did this happen?
Copy !req
211. I just typed up everything
that was inside the box.
Copy !req
212. And I just brought
the box inside.
Copy !req
213. I've just been working
on my short game.
Copy !req
214. I've been on hold for two hours
Copy !req
215. trying to win tickets
to the Country Jubilee.
Copy !req
216. You.
Copy !req
217. Do you have any idea
what you've done?
Copy !req
218. You have put me
in such a horrible position.
Copy !req
219. Oh.
Copy !req
220. Hi.
Copy !req
221. If it isn't my old friend Kevy.
Copy !req
222. Yeah, it's been a while.
Copy !req
223. Look at you, shaking things up.
Copy !req
224. Well, I'm not
intentionally shaking, really.
Copy !req
225. I think— you know, I think
Copy !req
226. we should have
a face-to-face, don't you?
Copy !req
227. Your face and my face?
Copy !req
228. Be in my office.
15 minutes.
Copy !req
229. - Get things right as rain.
- Okay, sounds...
Copy !req
230. Looking forward to it.
Copy !req
231. From its humble roots
Copy !req
232. as a cartoon anvil factory,
Copy !req
233. Acme has become America's
greatest success story.
Copy !req
234. Acme, I say, Acme
is an innovation factory.
Copy !req
235. We create the impossible.
Copy !req
236. With each new product,
Copy !req
237. we revolutionize industry
and the world.
Copy !req
238. We're a company of family values
Copy !req
239. that values
its family of companies.
Copy !req
240. Acme.
Copy !req
241. Hey! Hey, hey.
Copy !req
242. I don't know what your deal is,
Copy !req
243. but I need you to
listen to me very carefully.
Copy !req
244. Stop. You are gonna
follow my lead, all right?
Copy !req
245. We're gonna tell them
this is all just
Copy !req
246. a big misunderstanding,
and we're looking
Copy !req
247. to get this settled
as quickly as possible.
Copy !req
248. We will be polite.
Copy !req
249. We will not detonate
explosives, all right?
Copy !req
250. If they put something
in front of us,
Copy !req
251. we will sign it.
Copy !req
252. Got it?
Copy !req
253. Mr. Avery.
Bill Pelicanos.
Copy !req
254. And Mr. Coyote.
Copy !req
255. I'll, uh, take you to see Buddy.
Copy !req
256. So I hear you guys were friends
Copy !req
257. from back in the day, huh?
Copy !req
258. Guess you could say that
if you were incorrect.
Copy !req
259. And look at this
guy going clothing-optional.
Copy !req
260. Hey, Buddy, look who's here.
Copy !req
261. If it isn't Mr. Billboard.
Copy !req
262. - How you been, man?
- Good, good. Yeah, very good.
Copy !req
263. Those were the days,
weren't they?
Copy !req
264. - Yeah.
- Harvard Law. You look...
Copy !req
265. - good.
- Uh, thank you.
Copy !req
266. - Have a seat.
- Okay.
Copy !req
267. I gotta say,
I was a bit surprised
Copy !req
268. to see your name
on a case of this size.
Copy !req
269. Me, too.
Copy !req
270. I mean,
I'm so sorry about all this.
Copy !req
271. It was just
a big misunderstanding.
Copy !req
272. Well, we got
a really busy day around here,
Copy !req
273. and I would hate to keep you
from getting back to...
Copy !req
274. - whatever it is you do.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
275. - Lot of stuff, too. Yeah.
- Yeah, sure.
Copy !req
276. Oh, my God.
Copy !req
277. Uh—
Copy !req
278. And this seems obvious,
but I have to say it anyway.
Copy !req
279. Acme denies all charges
and accepts no liability
Copy !req
280. or causal connection between
Mr. Coyote's colorful injuries
Copy !req
281. and our state-of-the-art,
Copy !req
282. life-enhancing family products.
Copy !req
283. Yeah, yeah, blah, blah, blah.
Copy !req
284. And, you know,
as much fun as it would be
Copy !req
285. to get back
in a courtroom with you,
Copy !req
286. I guess it's time to do
what you do best.
Copy !req
287. - Settle.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
288. Um, well, look,
thank you so much,
Copy !req
289. and I'm so sorry
for taking up all your time.
Copy !req
290. It was unintentional. I—
Copy !req
291. Uh—
Copy !req
292. No, no, no.
He didn't mean that.
Copy !req
293. - Do you have another copy?
- Is this a joke?
Copy !req
294. - No, no.
- 'Cause it's not funny.
Copy !req
295. I thought cartoons
were supposed to be funny.
Copy !req
296. You guys actually
wanna fight, Avery?
Copy !req
297. Your tiny firm is unmatched.
Copy !req
298. We'll tie you
in legal loopholes.
Copy !req
299. We'll bury you in paperwork.
Copy !req
300. I'll put a dozen
of my best lawyers on this
Copy !req
301. 24 hours a day to make sure
Copy !req
302. your name is more synonymous
with failure
Copy !req
303. than it already is.
Copy !req
304. Oh, and I almost forgot.
We don't validate parking.
Copy !req
305. Do you know what
you could do with $50,000?
Copy !req
306. Do you have any idea how many
birds you could buy with that?
Copy !req
307. Flocks! You know what?
Copy !req
308. Not that it really matters,
but I'm out.
Copy !req
309. Yeah, that's right.
I quit, man.
Copy !req
310. Go find another lawyer.
Copy !req
311. This is already my personal
freaking nightmare,
Copy !req
312. and I'm not sticking around to
see if it can get any worse.
Copy !req
313. Sorry. Butterfingers.
Copy !req
314. Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Copy !req
315. Why didn't you settle?
Copy !req
316. That's what we do here.
We settle.
Copy !req
317. - Dottie, what do we do here?
- We settle.
Copy !req
318. Okay, I tried to settle,
but he wouldn't let me settle.
Copy !req
319. He's a coyote.
We're not even trial lawyers.
Copy !req
320. I have a miniature
golf tournament this weekend,
Copy !req
321. so I don't even know if I'm
gonna make it in on Monday.
Copy !req
322. Plus, trial prep adds up.
Photocopies, in this economy?
Copy !req
323. But if we beat Acme,
then we can afford
Copy !req
324. - a ton of photocopies.
- We won't beat Acme.
Copy !req
325. I mean, nobody ever has,
and nobody ever will.
Copy !req
326. The truth is,
even if you quit right now,
Copy !req
327. the firm is already in the
hole for Acme's legal fees,
Copy !req
328. and that's just from today.
Copy !req
329. I mean, that could
close down our doors.
Copy !req
330. Look...
Copy !req
331. if we lose, we lose.
Copy !req
332. If we quit, we really lose.
Copy !req
333. A lot of money.
Copy !req
334. Okay, okay. Okay, look, look.
Copy !req
335. We got one true goal
for this trial.
Copy !req
336. It's this.
Copy !req
337. We can't look like fools,
all right?
Copy !req
338. Our job is not to win this case.
Copy !req
339. Our job is to still be
in business when it's over.
Copy !req
340. That's the spirit.
Copy !req
341. Let's act like lawyers.
What do real lawyers do?
Copy !req
342. They would find evidence
Copy !req
343. and start making
a list of witnesses.
Copy !req
344. - The bird?
- He did witness
Copy !req
345. every time
an Acme product malfunctioned.
Copy !req
346. He could corroborate
Wile E.'s story.
Copy !req
347. Sure, whatever.
Copy !req
348. Add the Road Runner
to our witness list.
Copy !req
349. One more thing.
Copy !req
350. Um, where is
Mr. Coyote gonna stay?
Copy !req
351. All right,
don't give me that look.
Copy !req
352. Yeah, I live in a motel.
Look, I got pool access.
Copy !req
353. You know, there's no mortgage.
I never have to make my bed.
Copy !req
354. There's an incredible
all-you-can-eat
Copy !req
355. seafood buffet
around the corner.
Copy !req
356. Tissues come out of a slider
on my bathroom wall.
Copy !req
357. Stop that.
Hi, Cherry.
Copy !req
358. - Yeah?
- Yeah, um—
Copy !req
359. One second.
Copy !req
360. Stop. Come on.
Copy !req
361. Yeah, hi, I need another room
for a few nights.
Copy !req
362. Not near me, please.
Copy !req
363. - He's not a pet.
- He looks like a pet.
Copy !req
364. Who rents a separate room
for their pets?
Copy !req
365. Cherry, come on.
Copy !req
366. I've been living here
for almost five years.
Copy !req
367. - You know me.
- No pets.
Copy !req
368. All right, okay.
You wanna do this?
Copy !req
369. Legally speaking,
a pet is a domesticated
Copy !req
370. or tamed animal
kept as a companion
Copy !req
371. in or outside
an individual's residence.
Copy !req
372. This is Mr. Coyote.
He is my client.
Copy !req
373. He's not my pet nor anyone's
pet in the eyes of the law.
Copy !req
374. And as such, that sign or
any rule that accompanies it
Copy !req
375. does not apply to him,
all right?
Copy !req
376. It does not say "no animals."
Copy !req
377. And just my unbiased opinion,
Copy !req
378. he may actually have
a case against you
Copy !req
379. for discrimination.
Copy !req
380. Yeah.
Copy !req
381. He pees on the rug,
Copy !req
382. - it's on you.
- All right, deal.
Copy !req
383. But I would need a full workup
of urine analysis.
Copy !req
384. I mean, it's a motel.
Copy !req
385. Plenty of people pee on the rug.
Copy !req
386. Oh, right next door.
Copy !req
387. Of course.
Copy !req
388. Coming up next, a mouse
Copy !req
389. breaks the sound barrier
in Guadalajara.
Copy !req
390. One week more
to catch Albuquerque's
Copy !req
391. Annual Carrot Festival
while it's still in town.
Copy !req
392. Are you having fun? We are.
Copy !req
393. What?
Copy !req
394. You're kind of a psychopath,
aren't you?
Copy !req
395. Watch and learn.
Copy !req
396. So we take the subpoena,
like so.
Copy !req
397. Just cover it with copious
amounts of bird seed.
Copy !req
398. Road Runner eats the bird seed,
Copy !req
399. grabs the subpoena, and boom.
Copy !req
400. He's legally obligated
to show up to court.
Copy !req
401. Instant Road Runner trap.
Copy !req
402. Beep, beep.
Copy !req
403. "Beep, beep."
Copy !req
404. Is that some kind of
inside thing with you guys?
Copy !req
405. Is everyone clear on our plan?
Copy !req
406. - No.
- Nah.
Copy !req
407. - Yes.
- Paige, what's our plan?
Copy !req
408. So we have to prove to a jury
that Acme cartoon products
Copy !req
409. are at fault for every accident
Copy !req
410. that Wile E.'s had
going back years.
Copy !req
411. So we are going
to take pictures,
Copy !req
412. and we're gonna gather evidence,
Copy !req
413. and we're gonna put
the evidence in little bags,
Copy !req
414. and we're gonna interview
experts and witnesses,
Copy !req
415. and we're going to highlight
Copy !req
416. big books
of photocopied documents,
Copy !req
417. and we're gonna
pound the pavement,
Copy !req
418. and we're gonna study up,
Copy !req
419. and we're gonna try
and catch our big eyewitness
Copy !req
420. by leaving a nice note
in the desert.
Copy !req
421. And if we follow my plan
by the end of this,
Copy !req
422. we'll have enough evidence
to take Acme down.
Copy !req
423. We really have nothing.
Copy !req
424. I mean, I kind of assumed
that we'd have nothing,
Copy !req
425. but this is nothing.
Copy !req
426. All rise.
Copy !req
427. The court
of the Second Judicial Circuit
Copy !req
428. of Albuquerque
is now in session.
Copy !req
429. The Honorable Judge
Troppogrosso presiding.
Copy !req
430. You may be seated.
Copy !req
431. Human.
Copy !req
432. Human.
Copy !req
433. Cartoon.
Copy !req
434. Quiet!
Copy !req
435. My name is Judge Troppogrosso.
Copy !req
436. The name of the case
is Coyote v. Acme.
Copy !req
437. I am not a loosey-goosey judge.
Copy !req
438. I am a no-nonsense,
no-silly-stuff judge.
Copy !req
439. Is that understood?
Copy !req
440. Yes.
Copy !req
441. Mr. Crane.
Copy !req
442. Go get some.
Copy !req
443. We live in a great country,
don't we?
Copy !req
444. Because it's one that values
freedom above all else.
Copy !req
445. You're free to live your life
any way you see fit.
Copy !req
446. Could mean
living in the desert...
Copy !req
447. out in a cave,
Copy !req
448. spending your days
chasing after a bird,
Copy !req
449. who is much,
much faster than you.
Copy !req
450. But that is your right
as an American.
Copy !req
451. But that freedom, it comes
with great responsibility.
Copy !req
452. If you were to take a missile,
for instance,
Copy !req
453. and you were
to glue handlebars to it,
Copy !req
454. well, that's your choice.
Copy !req
455. But we expect you to understand
Copy !req
456. that that missile
and those handlebars,
Copy !req
457. they aren't designed
to catch birds.
Copy !req
458. What I will prove to this jury
Copy !req
459. is that man, Wile E. Coyote,
Copy !req
460. he is reckless.
Copy !req
461. And all of his injuries
are self-inflicted.
Copy !req
462. I mean, we won't condemn him,
you or I.
Copy !req
463. We all know who's responsible.
Copy !req
464. It's as clear as the desert sky.
Copy !req
465. I think I just laid an egg.
Copy !req
466. God bless America.
God bless the troops.
Copy !req
467. Damn, that was really good.
Copy !req
468. Oh, uh, please
don't write that down.
Copy !req
469. And— and please
don't write that down.
Copy !req
470. Or— or that down.
Copy !req
471. Mr. Avery.
Copy !req
472. Um...
Copy !req
473. Okay. Um...
Copy !req
474. Now, uh—
Copy !req
475. now what did the defense
say we were gonna argue?
Copy !req
476. Huh?
Copy !req
477. I mean, I know the answer to it.
Copy !req
478. I know the answer.
I'm not asking you a question.
Copy !req
479. I mean, it is—
it is a question.
Copy !req
480. But it's a question
that I'm asking to me.
Copy !req
481. Let me start over.
Let me start over.
Copy !req
482. Objection to my start.
Copy !req
483. So the defense said
that we were gonna argue
Copy !req
484. that the products are dangerous
Copy !req
485. and that Acme is negligent
in selling them.
Copy !req
486. I do really agree with all that.
Copy !req
487. I mean, it's not fancy,
but it's true.
Copy !req
488. Um, uh, sorry.
Copy !req
489. One second, please.
One sec—
Copy !req
490. Yeah, Wile E., we don't
need evidence right now.
Copy !req
491. - Mr. Avery.
- Okay, okay.
Copy !req
492. Excuse me, Your Honor.
Copy !req
493. My client would
like me to show you
Copy !req
494. this defective
Acme rocket skate.
Copy !req
495. And as you can see,
there's a faulty on switch.
Copy !req
496. Nothing.
Copy !req
497. God bless America.
Copy !req
498. God bless the troops.
Copy !req
499. Opening arguments
today in Coyote v. Acme.
Copy !req
500. Sources close to the case report
Copy !req
501. that Acme is doing
a fantastic job
Copy !req
502. protecting their brand
and dignity,
Copy !req
503. while the plaintiff appears
hungry and afraid.
Copy !req
504. More after this.
Copy !req
505. One week more
Copy !req
506. to catch Albuquerque's
Annual Carrot Festival
Copy !req
507. while it's still in town.
Copy !req
508. - Yeah?
- 241.
Copy !req
509. We've been getting noise
complaints about a loud TV.
Copy !req
510. Seriously, it's the TV
you're having a problem with?
Copy !req
511. Okay, I'll turn it—
Copy !req
512. Are you having fun?
We a—
Copy !req
513. Cherry, I turned it off.
Copy !req
514. Eh.
What's up, Doc?
Copy !req
515. Who's this?
Copy !req
516. I, uh, can't tell you.
Copy !req
517. I want to, but I can't.
A pickle, ain't it?
Copy !req
518. You sure you have
the right number?
Copy !req
519. Your trial.
Copy !req
520. I think I may be able
to help you with Acme.
Copy !req
521. - What?
- I have information
Copy !req
522. that could stop Acme for good.
Copy !req
523. Oh, my God,
you could stop this case?
Copy !req
524. If this gets out,
it'll all be over.
Copy !req
525. I have an associate
with information.
Copy !req
526. If they figure out what he
knows, he's a sitting duck.
Copy !req
527. Well, who?
Where do I find him?
Copy !req
528. Write this down.
I'm only gonna say it once.
Copy !req
529. Wait, wait. Grabbing a pen.
Hang on. Hang on.
Copy !req
530. 666 Scary Road Drive.
Copy !req
531. That doesn't sound
like a place I want to go.
Copy !req
532. Look for a Jack.
Copy !req
533. Acme has ears and eyes
and ears everywhere.
Copy !req
534. And they make people disappear.
Copy !req
535. - Don't forget that.
- I won't.
Copy !req
536. Will I be able
to contact you again?
Copy !req
537. Mr. Leghorn.
Copy !req
538. Buddy, I say, Buddy,
you little rascal, you.
Copy !req
539. - How was Bora Bora?
- A tax haven so nice,
Copy !req
540. they named it twice.
Copy !req
541. So I say I heard
we have ourselves a lawsuit
Copy !req
542. in the animated sector.
Copy !req
543. I'll talk to PR about this.
Copy !req
544. You know, it's a local paper
and pretty flattering.
Copy !req
545. You know, I'm gonna win
this case as fast as I can,
Copy !req
546. but in the meantime,
I think things like this
Copy !req
547. make us look pretty good
in the public eye.
Copy !req
548. Not ideal, but, you know, it's
like killing two birds with...
Copy !req
549. one stone.
Copy !req
550. Two birds, one stone.
What a vile expression.
Copy !req
551. - I only meant—
- Rotten.
Copy !req
552. We both know it would be very,
Copy !req
553. I say very unpleasant
for everyone involved
Copy !req
554. if anything bigger,
I say bigger,
Copy !req
555. were to become public.
Copy !req
556. Oh, mysterious caller.
It's so cool.
Copy !req
557. - So what did he sound like?
- I don't know.
Copy !req
558. He was kind of like,
"Eh, what's up, Doc?
Copy !req
559. "I have information,
chomp, chomp, chomp."
Copy !req
560. He was like chewing
on a cracker or something.
Copy !req
561. Okay.
Copy !req
562. Well, map is saying
it should be right here.
Copy !req
563. It's just a wall.
Copy !req
564. - Jack?
- Oh, God.
Copy !req
565. Is there a Jack anywhere?
Copy !req
566. Wait, what's that?
Copy !req
567. Oh, that kind of Jack.
Copy !req
568. Somebody's got a sense of humor.
Copy !req
569. Well, there's a duck,
and he is sitting.
Copy !req
570. Feels a bit easy.
Copy !req
571. Well, good thing I like easy.
Copy !req
572. Excuse me. Hi.
Copy !req
573. My name is Kevin Avery.
This is Paige.
Copy !req
574. I'm a personal injury attorney.
Copy !req
575. Well,
look who decided to show up.
Copy !req
576. Oh, great, thank you.
Copy !req
577. I wasn't sure
if you knew we were coming.
Copy !req
578. You're a little late,
Copy !req
579. and you're still wearing
that hideous suit.
Copy !req
580. Take your pants off
right over there, please.
Copy !req
581. - And, um, strike a pose.
- Uh, no.
Copy !req
582. It's so difficult to find
nude models these days.
Copy !req
583. - Sit down.
- Uh...
Copy !req
584. Sarsaparilla?
Copy !req
585. We're all right, thank you.
Copy !req
586. Disrobe and pretend
you're thinking.
Copy !req
587. I expect this is going
to take a few hours.
Copy !req
588. Yeah, um,
we had an anonymous caller say
Copy !req
589. that you might have
some important information.
Copy !req
590. Yeah, information that can
help us end our case quickly.
Copy !req
591. Information?
Copy !req
592. Yes.
Copy !req
593. - About Acme?
- Acme?
Copy !req
594. Uh, yes.
Copy !req
595. - Acme.
- Acme?
Copy !req
596. Acme?
Copy !req
597. After all this,
they call me Daffy?
Copy !req
598. The world is Daffy!
Copy !req
599. Ac-me? Ac-you!
Copy !req
600. You'll never get it out of me.
I'll tell you everything.
Copy !req
601. Your face is covered in Acme.
Copy !req
602. Whatever you need to know
about Acme is inside the box.
Copy !req
603. Mr. Duck! Mr. Duck!
Copy !req
604. You really shouldn't be here.
Copy !req
605. I agree, Doctor.
Copy !req
606. Let's tear this facility
to the ground.
Copy !req
607. Hello?
Copy !req
608. I'm here for the
Copy !req
609. pantsless modeling gig.
Copy !req
610. Look, I'm a horse.
Copy !req
611. - Mom, I'm a horse!
- ACME PAINT
Copy !req
612. - Boing, boing.
- What are you doing?
Copy !req
613. Come on in!
The water's freezing!
Copy !req
614. Well, we drove him crazy,
Copy !req
615. - and we got a can of paint.
- Well, it could be important.
Copy !req
616. Clearly, he's been holding on
to this for a while, so.
Copy !req
617. Wait.
Copy !req
618. "That's all, folks."
Copy !req
619. Are we the folks?
Copy !req
620. Do you think
we're going to get kidnapped?
Copy !req
621. Held for ransom?
Copy !req
622. I feel so alive.
Copy !req
623. So, what do you think it is?
Copy !req
624. Thanks.
Copy !req
625. That looks
unspeakably dangerous.
Copy !req
626. And yet, he walked in anyway.
Copy !req
627. Wait, what— what are you doing?
Copy !req
628. I'm following Wile E.
Copy !req
629. Now I just look like a loser
if I stay out here.
Copy !req
630. Coming into the tunnel.
Copy !req
631. Hello?
Copy !req
632. I bet they don't tell you to
walk down mysterious tunnels
Copy !req
633. in your fancy classes at Oxford.
Copy !req
634. I bet
they discourage it, actually.
Copy !req
635. Actually,
I thought about majoring
Copy !req
636. in mysterious tunnels.
Copy !req
637. - No, you didn't.
- Yeah, I did.
Copy !req
638. What have we got here?
Copy !req
639. Hey! I found a message.
Copy !req
640. What does it say?
Copy !req
641. It says, "Daffy, I'm not sure
how long I have.
Copy !req
642. "I hope
this message gets to you.
Copy !req
643. "Things have gone awry
with Project...
Copy !req
644. "Sisy-foose."
Copy !req
645. Sisyphus.
Copy !req
646. What is Project Sisyphus?
Copy !req
647. "Acme is watching my every move,
Copy !req
648. "and I have a feeling
I'm in grave danger."
Copy !req
649. Wile E.?
Copy !req
650. "If you see this message,
please send help.
Copy !req
651. "Dr. Lorre."
Copy !req
652. Kevin! Train!
Copy !req
653. Go, go! Go, go, go!
Copy !req
654. Oh, did I not say
unspeakably dangerous?
Copy !req
655. Did— Didn't I say
those exact words?
Copy !req
656. - Yeah.
- I did.
Copy !req
657. Okay, what could this mean?
Copy !req
658. - Project Sisyphus.
- I— I don't know.
Copy !req
659. I don't know. All right?
Copy !req
660. What?
What just happened?
Copy !req
661. What?
Copy !req
662. Boss, I think they're on to us.
Copy !req
663. Okay, so Sisyphus
is from Greek mythology,
Copy !req
664. and he was punished by the gods
Copy !req
665. and made to roll a boulder
up a hill every day,
Copy !req
666. but it would just roll
right back down for eternity.
Copy !req
667. And it was also
what Daffy was painting.
Copy !req
668. So what?
That's not evidence.
Copy !req
669. None of this is gonna
help us win the trial.
Copy !req
670. All right, it's all
just a waste of our time.
Copy !req
671. We have a client who,
no offense,
Copy !req
672. can't read a warning label.
Copy !req
673. We have piles and piles of
stuff that he himself broke.
Copy !req
674. We have nothing, Paige.
Copy !req
675. You've been settling
Acme cases for years,
Copy !req
676. and you have never stopped
to think and see a pattern.
Copy !req
677. A pattern? Yes.
Copy !req
678. My clients go boom,
Copy !req
679. and two seconds later,
they're fine.
Copy !req
680. Nobody cares.
Copy !req
681. So, that makes it okay?
Copy !req
682. Boom, $100, that's fair?
This case can make it, right?
Copy !req
683. This is your opportunity
to really show people
Copy !req
684. what you're capable of.
Copy !req
685. Yeah, but that only works
if I don't lose.
Copy !req
686. And— and why do you assume
you're gonna lose?
Copy !req
687. Are you kidding?
Copy !req
688. It is really super easy to lose.
Copy !req
689. And it's better
you learn that now.
Copy !req
690. You know, everyone thought
I was crazy for coming here.
Copy !req
691. But I didn't want to just go
to some big law firm
Copy !req
692. and help the rich guys
get richer.
Copy !req
693. I thought...
Copy !req
694. I thought you were
actually still a real lawyer.
Copy !req
695. Yeah, me too.
Copy !req
696. So, uh, what is it
about the Road Runner?
Copy !req
697. Ah, there are no words.
Copy !req
698. You know, I—
I— I envy you, really.
Copy !req
699. You know, it must be nice
to have such a—
Copy !req
700. Such a clear goal.
Copy !req
701. I mean,
I used to have that, I think.
Copy !req
702. You know, I was hungry,
and I was chasing.
Copy !req
703. But I didn't like the pressure
of having to always win.
Copy !req
704. And I got burnt out on trying.
Copy !req
705. Anyway, you're
a really good listener.
Copy !req
706. Hey, what are you doing?
Copy !req
707. Hey, stop! Wile E!
Copy !req
708. Stop! Stop!
Copy !req
709. There's a cliff! Stop!
Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!
Copy !req
710. We were having a heart to heart.
Copy !req
711. Wait, Wile E.!
You can't make that jump!
Copy !req
712. Wile E.
Copy !req
713. Wile—
Copy !req
714. You made it.
Copy !req
715. Well, you go a long way
to make a point.
Copy !req
716. Hey, Wile E.
Copy !req
717. Thanks.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Copy !req
718. - Are you sitting down?
- Uh, yes.
Copy !req
719. Well, Sal's not.
Is that going to be a problem?
Copy !req
720. No. Wile E. is conning us.
Copy !req
721. The only reason he's doing
this case is to catch
Copy !req
722. and kill the Road Runner
during the trial.
Copy !req
723. That's not good.
Copy !req
724. It's all just part of a plot.
Copy !req
725. He's using us so I'll put
the bird on the witness stand.
Copy !req
726. If the Road Runner shows up
to court, it'll be chaos.
Copy !req
727. I'll look like a fool.
Copy !req
728. The firm will fold,
we'll be mattress salesmen.
Copy !req
729. That's kind of demeaning
to mattress salesmen.
Copy !req
730. Fine.
We'll be, uh, garbage men.
Copy !req
731. - Kevin.
- Okay, garbage people.
Copy !req
732. - My dad's garbage people.
- Okay.
Copy !req
733. I'm just really nervous
Copy !req
734. about letting Wile E. back
into this courtroom.
Copy !req
735. Without Wile E.,
there's no trial.
Copy !req
736. With no trial, there's no firm.
Copy !req
737. And without the firm,
we're going to be broke.
Copy !req
738. I hate to suggest
lying to a dog,
Copy !req
739. but you're going to have
to convince him
Copy !req
740. that the Road Runner
will be there.
Copy !req
741. Paige, I was wrong.
Copy !req
742. See what you can find out
about Project Sisyphus.
Copy !req
743. And how it's connected to Acme.
Copy !req
744. - Great. I'm already on it.
- Okay.
Copy !req
745. Hi, I was just wondering if
a Dr. Lorre still lives here?
Copy !req
746. They listen, you know.
Copy !req
747. Would you like some tea, dearie?
Copy !req
748. It was a very happy marriage.
Copy !req
749. He used to work long days,
but would still come home
Copy !req
750. and play the piano
for me for hours
Copy !req
751. because he knew
how much I loved it.
Copy !req
752. We had 87 years together.
Copy !req
753. I am grateful.
Copy !req
754. Um, when did
Dr. Lorre pass away,
Copy !req
755. if you don't mind me asking?
Copy !req
756. Oh, he's not dead.
Copy !req
757. He's missing.
Copy !req
758. He went to work one day
with our little bird,
Copy !req
759. and I never saw
either of them again.
Copy !req
760. They told me
he ran off with his secretary,
Copy !req
761. but I don't think so.
Copy !req
762. His secretary was a penguin.
Copy !req
763. What can you tell me
about Project Sisyphus?
Copy !req
764. What?
Copy !req
765. Which day what?
Copy !req
766. Oh, which day
is the Road Runner testifying?
Copy !req
767. - Hm.
- Any day now. Why?
Copy !req
768. Do you have
any particular reason
Copy !req
769. for wanting
to catch up with him?
Copy !req
770. Okay, well,
I'll keep you posted.
Copy !req
771. I need this Road Runner.
Copy !req
772. Absolutely. Why exactly?
Copy !req
773. He's the only one
that's seen every time
Copy !req
774. this moron's used
our products incorrectly.
Copy !req
775. If I had to bet,
he's holding a grudge.
Copy !req
776. Go out there
and you bring him to me.
Copy !req
777. How hard could it be
to catch a bird?
Copy !req
778. Woo!
Copy !req
779. I love being a lawyer!
Copy !req
780. Release the payload!
Copy !req
781. Hello.
Copy !req
782. My husband was the head inventor
Copy !req
783. of animated products at Acme.
Copy !req
784. He was so excited
when he got the job.
Copy !req
785. He wanted to make things
that really helped cartoons,
Copy !req
786. like the anti-lump pump.
Copy !req
787. An eraser of stinky lines.
Copy !req
788. Oh, and this
anti-predator spray.
Copy !req
789. Hello—
Copy !req
790. After a while, things changed.
Copy !req
791. He didn't like
what was going on,
Copy !req
792. and then, he disappeared.
Copy !req
793. Recently, I've been
getting phone calls.
Copy !req
794. Sometimes they hang up,
but sometimes...
Copy !req
795. Eh, what's up, Doc?
Copy !req
796. I don't know
the man on the telephone.
Copy !req
797. I don't know
where my dear husband went,
Copy !req
798. but I know Project Sisyphus
Copy !req
799. is the reason he's gone.
Copy !req
800. Target acquired.
Copy !req
801. Commence Project Road Kill
in T-minus three
Copy !req
802. two, one...
Copy !req
803. Sir, the target is
looking at us.
Copy !req
804. Why is the target looking at us?
Copy !req
805. Beep, beep.
Copy !req
806. Beep, beep.
Copy !req
807. Retreat, retreat!
Copy !req
808. Did we catch him?
Copy !req
809. Oh, did we catch him?
Copy !req
810. Oh, my gosh, the glue burns!
Copy !req
811. Oh, my head is on fire!
Copy !req
812. So, obviously...
Copy !req
813. we hit a speed bump.
Copy !req
814. Does it itch? Yes.
Copy !req
815. But I'm afraid to touch it.
Copy !req
816. You were my eyes and ears
out there, what happened?
Copy !req
817. What'd you see?
Copy !req
818. Well, I taught I taw...
Copy !req
819. You taught you taw?
Copy !req
820. I don't pay you to tink you taw,
Copy !req
821. I pay you to taw!
Copy !req
822. - I taw!
- You taw?
Copy !req
823. Or you thought you taw?
Copy !req
824. Because you just said
you taught you taw!
Copy !req
825. I did, I did taw!
Copy !req
826. What did you tee?
What did you taw?
Copy !req
827. A breakdown
on the eastern perimeteh-ter.
Copy !req
828. Ultimately,
that's where he ran off.
Copy !req
829. That Road Runner is very,
very fast, sir.
Copy !req
830. Step your game up, bird.
Copy !req
831. They're getting too close.
Copy !req
832. I don't just want him scared,
I want him ruined!
Copy !req
833. I want him
to stop digging around!
Copy !req
834. You know what happened
to Dr. Lorre.
Copy !req
835. You want the same thing
to happen to your Granny?
Copy !req
836. No, please!
I'll get him tonight!
Copy !req
837. I— I promise.
Copy !req
838. Hey, great job, big dog.
Copy !req
839. - Shut up, Patches!
- Absolutely, sir.
Copy !req
840. I won't say another word.
Copy !req
841. I wish I could say more,
Copy !req
842. but Acme has ears and eyes
and ears everywhere.
Copy !req
843. but Acme has ears and eyes
and ears everywhere.
Copy !req
844. but Acme has ears
and eyes and ears everywhere.
Copy !req
845. Paige? Are you okay?
Copy !req
846. Oh, I'm totally fine.
Copy !req
847. I've always kind of wanted to
throw a bomb out of a window,
Copy !req
848. but there just never
really was a right time.
Copy !req
849. Listen, Dr. Lorre's widow
gave me this tape,
Copy !req
850. and I've listened to it
a thousand times,
Copy !req
851. and there's something
in the background.
Copy !req
852. but Acme has ears
and eyes and ears everywhere.
Copy !req
853. That's the guy who called me.
Copy !req
854. Yeah, I know,
but— but can you hear it?
Copy !req
855. I wish I could say more
Copy !req
856. but Acme has ears and eyes
and ears everywhere.
Copy !req
857. Wait! Wait, wait, wait.
That's evidence!
Copy !req
858. Okay, that's enough.
Copy !req
859. - Wile E., Wile E., Wile E...
- Please stop that.
Copy !req
860. Is there some
kind of plan to this?
Copy !req
861. There it is.
Copy !req
862. Wait, I know this song.
Copy !req
863. - From where?
- I— I don't know.
Copy !req
864. It's like a TV show
or an ad or...
Copy !req
865. Wait.
Copy !req
866. Albuquerque's
Annual Carrot Festival.
Copy !req
867. Okay, wh— what is that?
Copy !req
868. A festival of carrots
in Albuquerque.
Copy !req
869. It happens every year annually.
Copy !req
870. Hello?
Copy !req
871. Mystery caller?
Copy !req
872. Mystery caller who—
who called me?
Copy !req
873. Tell him we're from
Avery, Jones and Maltese.
Copy !req
874. We're from
Avery, Jones and Maltese.
Copy !req
875. You can show
yourself at any time.
Copy !req
876. So, uh, what is up, doc?
Copy !req
877. Who's there?
Copy !req
878. I'll never tell you, Mac.
Copy !req
879. I'm a creature of the night,
a shadow that moves.
Copy !req
880. You'll never figure out who I—
Copy !req
881. Oh, my! Oh, heavens!
Copy !req
882. You've seen my face.
Copy !req
883. Don't look at me.
I'm too...
Copy !req
884. beautiful?
Copy !req
885. Mystery caller?
Copy !req
886. I tell you,
the budgie has been bumbling
Copy !req
887. and stumbling your way
through this case for weeks.
Copy !req
888. You're lucky
you have me on your side.
Copy !req
889. Hey, you been followed?
Got eyes on you?
Copy !req
890. Caught by a red-light camera?
Copy !req
891. Spotted by a drone?
Copy !req
892. Have you been bugged?
Copy !req
893. This is just
getting embarrassing now.
Copy !req
894. Look, I got like
a million questions for you.
Copy !req
895. Why didn't you call again?
Copy !req
896. What happened to Dr. Lorre?
Copy !req
897. And what can you tell us
about Project Sisyphus?
Copy !req
898. Enough with the questions, counselor.
Copy !req
899. This calls for a flashback.
Copy !req
900. Dr. Lorre
was the head inventor
Copy !req
901. of Acme cartoon products,
you see.
Copy !req
902. He built some amazing things.
Copy !req
903. Essentials, like
the Quick Change Machine.
Copy !req
904. One day, they sent
an executive from corporate
Copy !req
905. to oversee things.
Copy !req
906. The guy was a real turkey.
Copy !req
907. Suddenly, there was
a lot of secrets.
Copy !req
908. They called it Project Sisyphus.
Copy !req
909. Under the new management,
Copy !req
910. the tests became
increasingly reckless.
Copy !req
911. I'm not sure I understand.
Copy !req
912. What was it all for?
Copy !req
913. They weren't inventing
products for cartoons.
Copy !req
914. They were using cartoons
Copy !req
915. to invent products!
Copy !req
916. Dr. Lorre told them
this was wrong
Copy !req
917. and that their tests
were harmful to cartoons.
Copy !req
918. He pleaded with them
to put an end to it.
Copy !req
919. But instead...
Copy !req
920. they put an end to him.
Copy !req
921. Everyone who worked on
Project Sisyphus
Copy !req
922. is either missing,
Copy !req
923. or forced to work for Acme...
Copy !req
924. or quacked.
Copy !req
925. And when did the program end?
Copy !req
926. Don't you see?
Copy !req
927. It never ended.
Copy !req
928. It evolved.
Copy !req
929. Instead of testing
dangerous products in the lab,
Copy !req
930. they let them out
into the real world.
Copy !req
931. - Yes.
- Wile E.'s rocket skates,
Copy !req
932. they were designed to backfire.
Copy !req
933. Now you're getting it.
Copy !req
934. The more something breaks,
the more a cartoon gets hurt,
Copy !req
935. the more data to make better
Acme products for humans.
Copy !req
936. Exactly, exactly.
Copy !req
937. Wile, you're what they call
a, uh, a high-usage user.
Copy !req
938. They let you boom
and splat and bang
Copy !req
939. for years and years,
Copy !req
940. knowing full well the toll.
Copy !req
941. Would you testify
to this in court?
Copy !req
942. The world needs to hear this.
Copy !req
943. No, no, no.
Copy !req
944. You need someone on
the inside to spill the beans.
Copy !req
945. Get the head of PR
at Acme to testify.
Copy !req
946. He's a master of spin.
Copy !req
947. His name is...
Copy !req
948. Uh-oh, that's my cue.
Copy !req
949. I think they got him.
Copy !req
950. Nah, they didn't.
Copy !req
951. Hey, if anyone asks,
Copy !req
952. tell them your informant
was a little hunter
Copy !req
953. with a funny hat.
Copy !req
954. We're all counting on you.
Bye.
Copy !req
955. Yeah, that's great.
Copy !req
956. No one's going to
get through that door.
Copy !req
957. Any added security is great.
Copy !req
958. Will you tell us your role
at Acme for the record?
Copy !req
959. Okay, great.
Copy !req
960. If he says anything wrong,
Copy !req
961. - we'll get him out of here.
- Done.
Copy !req
962. And what does your role
as PR representative entail?
Copy !req
963. Acme.
Copy !req
964. So you have authority
to speak for Acme.
Copy !req
965. What can you tell us
about Project Sisyphus?
Copy !req
966. Mr. Devil,
Copy !req
967. what is Project Sisyphus?
Copy !req
968. May I remind you,
you are under oath.
Copy !req
969. Objection?
Copy !req
970. Counselors, approach the bench.
Copy !req
971. This case is turning
my courtroom into a circus.
Copy !req
972. They just ejected my witness.
Copy !req
973. We don't know that.
Copy !req
974. Couldn't agree more, Your Honor.
Copy !req
975. I'd like to file a motion
to exclude all evidence
Copy !req
976. submitted by the prosecution.
Copy !req
977. Save the original pair
of rocket skates.
Copy !req
978. - All else is overreaching.
- Motion granted.
Copy !req
979. Are— are you kidding?
Copy !req
980. - Thank you, Your Honor.
- Now, in response,
Copy !req
981. I'd like to file
a motion for dismissal
Copy !req
982. due to lack of evidence.
Copy !req
983. Motion granted.
I'm tired of all this bunk.
Copy !req
984. You're not allowed to say that.
Copy !req
985. That's the beauty
of being a judge.
Copy !req
986. I can say whatever I want.
Copy !req
987. Mistrial? There.
Copy !req
988. I said it.
Case dismissed.
Copy !req
989. Case dismissed.
Copy !req
990. I have a comment.
Copy !req
991. What happened in there
was a miscarriage of justice,
Copy !req
992. but it was not a surprise.
Copy !req
993. The Acme Corporation
has knowingly
Copy !req
994. been putting dangerous products
Copy !req
995. into the hands of cartoons
for decades.
Copy !req
996. Acme has gone to great lengths
to cover up an insidious plot
Copy !req
997. that they call Project Sisyphus.
Copy !req
998. They have threatened the safety
Copy !req
999. of myself and my client.
Copy !req
1000. Look, bombs, boulders, pianos,
Copy !req
1001. they will stop at nothing.
Copy !req
1002. But myself and my associates,
Copy !req
1003. we will keep fighting.
Copy !req
1004. I mean, these—
these companies think
Copy !req
1005. they can do whatever they want
and get away with all of it.
Copy !req
1006. Because they do.
Copy !req
1007. Well, we're sick of it.
And it stops now.
Copy !req
1008. So we're getting
ready to launch a, uh, uh...
Copy !req
1009. Uh, excuse me.
Uh, a moment.
Copy !req
1010. Excuse me.
Excuse me. Wile E.!
Copy !req
1011. More chaos in court today
Copy !req
1012. after the Acme trial
was dismissed
Copy !req
1013. by the very fair
Copy !req
1014. and honorable
Judge Troppogrosso.
Copy !req
1015. The plaintiffs
made their objections
Copy !req
1016. known by wrestling
a six-foot cartoon rocket.
Copy !req
1017. It's all good.
Nothing to see here.
Copy !req
1018. Is that your car?
Copy !req
1019. - Hey, Paige.
- Have you seen?
Copy !req
1020. - What?
- Your speech.
Copy !req
1021. It's the number one trending
news item
Copy !req
1022. in the country right now.
Copy !req
1023. - It's everywhere.
- What?
Copy !req
1024. They— they like my speech?
Copy !req
1025. Well, and the car exploded,
Copy !req
1026. I— I think is a part of it.
Copy !req
1027. - Mr. Avery.
- Mr. Avery.
Copy !req
1028. - Mr. Avery.
- Mr. Avery.
Copy !req
1029. - I gotta go.
- Mr. Avery.
Copy !req
1030. Mr. Avery,
any comment on Congress
Copy !req
1031. agreeing to hear your case?
Copy !req
1032. Uh, uh, Congress?
Copy !req
1033. Thoughts on Foghorn Leghorn
agreeing to testify.
Copy !req
1034. No, uh, did—
did you say Congress?
Copy !req
1035. They're putting Acme
under the microscope.
Copy !req
1036. - You're going to DC.
- We're going to DC?
Copy !req
1037. We're going to DC!
Copy !req
1038. Uh, okay.
Well, uh, no— no comment.
Copy !req
1039. - Mr. Avery.
- Mr. Avery.
Copy !req
1040. - Mr. Avery.
- Thank you.
Copy !req
1041. Mr. Avery.
Copy !req
1042. Wait. Where are you going?
Copy !req
1043. What? Wile E., no.
Copy !req
1044. You can't go.
I need you in DC.
Copy !req
1045. I mean,
this is the big showdown.
Copy !req
1046. If— if you don't show up,
there's no hearing.
Copy !req
1047. This whole thing
will have been for nothing.
Copy !req
1048. Uh, the Road Runner
will be there.
Copy !req
1049. Yeah, of course.
Copy !req
1050. He'll be there.
Yeah, he's coming.
Copy !req
1051. I— I— I promise.
Copy !req
1052. So, come on.
Copy !req
1053. What do you say?
Copy !req
1054. I mean, the whole world
will be watching.
Copy !req
1055. And he'll be there.
Copy !req
1056. All right. Good.
Come on. Let's go.
Copy !req
1057. 6.5
Copy !req
1058. Mr. Avery,
Mr. Avery, how's the water?
Copy !req
1059. What initially
seemed to be a case
Copy !req
1060. of routine product malfunction
Copy !req
1061. has turned into
a David versus Goliath
Copy !req
1062. tale as old as time.
Copy !req
1063. We would like to wish our
furry little friend
Copy !req
1064. good luck in DC.
Copy !req
1065. We're rooting for you, Wile E.
Copy !req
1066. And we always were
Copy !req
1067. from day one.
Copy !req
1068. When a company is
this successful...
Copy !req
1069. there's always someone
Copy !req
1070. looking to tear it down.
Copy !req
1071. But our hands are clean.
Copy !req
1072. Flight attendants,
prepare for landing.
Copy !req
1073. Sorry about
that initial wrong turn
Copy !req
1074. out of Albuquerque, folks.
Copy !req
1075. This is it.
No more warnings.
Copy !req
1076. I don't care if you kidnap him,
Copy !req
1077. run him out of town,
or throw him down a hole.
Copy !req
1078. Wile E. Coyote will not be
at the hearing tomorrow.
Copy !req
1079. Are we clear?
Copy !req
1080. Yes, boss.
We're clear.
Copy !req
1081. Please be quiet.
Copy !req
1082. Wile E., please be quiet.
Copy !req
1083. Look, I promise you,
what I have to do
Copy !req
1084. is more important
than what you have to do.
Copy !req
1085. There's been a change of plans.
Copy !req
1086. Uh, he... he couldn't make it.
Copy !req
1087. All right?
Copy !req
1088. Okay, fine.
Copy !req
1089. You think I would drag
the Roadrunner out here
Copy !req
1090. so you could destroy me
in front of the entire world?
Copy !req
1091. Yeah, I know you just
wanted him in that courtroom
Copy !req
1092. so you could
catch him and eat him.
Copy !req
1093. Why would I help you do that?
Copy !req
1094. Okay, yeah, I lied.
I lied.
Copy !req
1095. I needed you
to stay with this case.
Copy !req
1096. But you know what?
You lied to me.
Copy !req
1097. Huh? You misled me.
Copy !req
1098. You made me think that
this case was about somethin'.
Copy !req
1099. And— And it is.
Copy !req
1100. You know, this is way
bigger than the Roadrunner.
Copy !req
1101. Did you not even
process what the rabbit said?
Copy !req
1102. You're a high-usage user.
Copy !req
1103. I mean, look at all this stuff.
Copy !req
1104. You're addicted.
Copy !req
1105. Every explosion,
Copy !req
1106. every time you fell
to the bottom of a canyon,
Copy !req
1107. Acme wanted that.
Copy !req
1108. You know, I changed around
my whole life for you.
Copy !req
1109. My entire routine.
Copy !req
1110. It's probably all gonna
blow up in my face
Copy !req
1111. because you wanted a drumstick.
Copy !req
1112. Oh, myself?
Copy !req
1113. You have only cared about
Copy !req
1114. your plan this entire time.
Copy !req
1115. "Oh, the Roadrunner,
the Roadrunner."
Copy !req
1116. I'm so sick of this Roadrunner.
Copy !req
1117. You're never gonna catch him!
Copy !req
1118. Okay?
Copy !req
1119. You just— you—
you really aren't.
Copy !req
1120. Just stop trying.
Copy !req
1121. - Yeah.
- Hey, Kev.
Copy !req
1122. Look, I didn't want
to have to tell you this
Copy !req
1123. right before the hearing,
but, um...
Copy !req
1124. we've spent every last
cent on this trial.
Copy !req
1125. We're out of money.
Copy !req
1126. So, what does that mean?
Copy !req
1127. It means, unless
there's some kind of miracle,
Copy !req
1128. there's not gonna be
a firm to come back to.
Copy !req
1129. I made you guys appointments
to donate plasma next week.
Copy !req
1130. I can't go.
Copy !req
1131. I don't want to put
this kind of pressure on you.
Copy !req
1132. We just thought you should know.
Copy !req
1133. Okay.
Copy !req
1134. Damn it.
Copy !req
1135. Beep beep!
Copy !req
1136. You missed!
Copy !req
1137. Wile E.! Wile E.!
Copy !req
1138. Oh, boy.
Copy !req
1139. Wile E., grab my hand!
Copy !req
1140. I'm trying to save you! Aah!
Copy !req
1141. Over here! Oh! Oh!
Copy !req
1142. Aah!
Copy !req
1143. Uh-oh.
Copy !req
1144. Look, Wile E., I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1145. I made a mistake! Okay?
Copy !req
1146. Wait! Wait! Wile!
Copy !req
1147. Oh, no. Oh, stop, stop,
stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!
Copy !req
1148. Uh, what is the holdup?
Copy !req
1149. He's in the bathroom.
Copy !req
1150. Looks like you had
a rough night, huh?
Copy !req
1151. Oh, thanks
for your believable concern.
Copy !req
1152. Oh, come on. Do you really
want to go out there?
Copy !req
1153. I mean, where there's cameras?
Copy !req
1154. The pressure?
Copy !req
1155. What is this?
Copy !req
1156. It's everything you ever wanted.
Copy !req
1157. Freedom from responsibility.
Copy !req
1158. That's no strings attached.
Copy !req
1159. That is under
the table and it's for you.
Copy !req
1160. All you gotta do is
walk out this door right now.
Copy !req
1161. I mean, come on.
Copy !req
1162. You really want
to just keep doing
Copy !req
1163. the same thing
over and over again?
Copy !req
1164. Try, fail, try, fail,
Copy !req
1165. expecting a different result?
Copy !req
1166. I just realized that, uh,
Copy !req
1167. yeah, I do.
Copy !req
1168. You get the gist.
Copy !req
1169. Oh, my God.
You look like a stuntman.
Copy !req
1170. - Is Wile E. here?
- He's not with you?
Copy !req
1171. I haven't seen him since
we were going 80 miles an hour
Copy !req
1172. on the highway
strapped to a refrigerator.
Copy !req
1173. What the hell?
I thought you guys were
Copy !req
1174. in the hotel room next to me.
I feel so left out.
Copy !req
1175. I really screwed up.
Copy !req
1176. He knows
the Road Runner's not coming.
Copy !req
1177. He knows I lied.
Copy !req
1178. Ugh, I'm a jerk.
Copy !req
1179. I should have
been honest with him.
Copy !req
1180. It just seemed easier.
Copy !req
1181. Mr. Avery, uh, thank you
for joining us today.
Copy !req
1182. We are here to determine
Copy !req
1183. whether or not Acme products
are a danger to society.
Copy !req
1184. Uh, where is your client?
Copy !req
1185. I'm, uh, not entirely sure,
to be honest.
Copy !req
1186. Senator Fudd,
Copy !req
1187. the fact that Mr. Coyote
hasn't deemed it necessary
Copy !req
1188. to grace us with his presence
at the scheduled time
Copy !req
1189. should tell you
all you need to know
Copy !req
1190. about his character.
Copy !req
1191. Hmm, I think
this does tell us a lot.
Copy !req
1192. Look, my client
has a long history with Acme.
Copy !req
1193. He's been using their pwoducts—
Copy !req
1194. sorry, products,
Copy !req
1195. - for decades.
- Why is that?
Copy !req
1196. If they're so... "dangerous."
Copy !req
1197. Well, he doesn't have
a choice, really.
Copy !req
1198. Uh, Acme has
a monopoly over all the tools
Copy !req
1199. required for
Mr. Coyote's work.
Copy !req
1200. His work?
Copy !req
1201. I have here that he's unemployed
Copy !req
1202. and living in a cave.
Copy !req
1203. - Truth, truth.
- It's a fact.
Copy !req
1204. No, no, no, no, no, no.
Copy !req
1205. Pursuant to
Sylvester V. Gonzalez,
Copy !req
1206. "chase by predator"
is a legal occupation
Copy !req
1207. under the law.
Copy !req
1208. All right, he may not get
a salary, but he works.
Copy !req
1209. In fact, he's one
of the most hard-working
Copy !req
1210. people I've ever met.
Copy !req
1211. And he's brave.
Copy !req
1212. He will walk out
onto the tiniest rope
Copy !req
1213. over the largest canyon.
Copy !req
1214. He'll straddle a rocket
Copy !req
1215. that he's glued handlebars to
Copy !req
1216. without batting an eye.
Copy !req
1217. I mean...
Copy !req
1218. Oh, uh...
Copy !req
1219. Sorry. Uh— uh...
Copy !req
1220. Look...
Copy !req
1221. when Mr. Coyote first
walked into my office,
Copy !req
1222. I was the laziest person
you could ever imagine.
Copy !req
1223. I didn't want to work.
Copy !req
1224. I didn't want to try anything.
Copy !req
1225. Because deep down...
Copy !req
1226. I didn't want to fail.
Copy !req
1227. But he's not afraid of that.
Copy !req
1228. No matter what happens,
he picks himself up,
Copy !req
1229. he tries again, and again,
and again, and again.
Copy !req
1230. He would never think
of quitting.
Copy !req
1231. He wakes up
every morning with purpose
Copy !req
1232. and with hope.
Copy !req
1233. And I think everyone
should be inspired by that.
Copy !req
1234. I know I am.
Copy !req
1235. You don't need signs anymore.
Copy !req
1236. Thank you for coming back.
Copy !req
1237. Mr. Leghorn, thank you
for taking the time
Copy !req
1238. from your busy schedule.
Copy !req
1239. Now, we've requested that
Copy !req
1240. Mr. Avery asks you
a few questions today.
Copy !req
1241. I've been studying
this guy in interviews.
Copy !req
1242. He's a blowhard.
Huge ego.
Copy !req
1243. Here I am, son.
Copy !req
1244. All right.
I can work with that.
Copy !req
1245. Mr. Leghorn,
are you aware of
Copy !req
1246. the Acme program known
as Project Sisyphus?
Copy !req
1247. I am familiar with the name.
Copy !req
1248. Okay. And how
would you explain
Copy !req
1249. the type of program
that it is to this committee?
Copy !req
1250. Well, it's one of research
and development.
Copy !req
1251. Great. So you're
constantly innovating
Copy !req
1252. your cartoon product line
to make it better?
Copy !req
1253. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
1254. Okay.
That makes sense.
Copy !req
1255. But if you're studying
these products so closely,
Copy !req
1256. why are they malfunctioning
so frequently?
Copy !req
1257. That sounds like something
you might tinker with.
Copy !req
1258. Well, son, business is complex.
Copy !req
1259. Okay. Now does
any of the information
Copy !req
1260. that you get
from Project Sisyphus
Copy !req
1261. go into developing
the human line?
Copy !req
1262. - Sure.
- Sure.
Copy !req
1263. Okay. So you admit it.
Copy !req
1264. He just admitted it.
Did you hear that?
Copy !req
1265. He admitted it.
You're intentionally giving
Copy !req
1266. dangerous products to cartoons,
Copy !req
1267. willfully causing
pain to millions
Copy !req
1268. in this process?
Copy !req
1269. You think progress
isn't worth a little pain?
Copy !req
1270. A little discomfort?
Copy !req
1271. It is, son.
It always has been.
Copy !req
1272. Besides, nothing
we've done today
Copy !req
1273. or any other day is illegal.
Copy !req
1274. Isn't that right, Mr. Crane?
Copy !req
1275. Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Copy !req
1276. The law is completely
on our side here,
Copy !req
1277. and so is the popular opinion
of the silent majority.
Copy !req
1278. Thank you, Mr. Crane.
Copy !req
1279. - Mr. Leghorn—
- And another thing.
Copy !req
1280. Take a seat, son.
Copy !req
1281. I'm asking the questions here.
Copy !req
1282. Take a seat, son.
Copy !req
1283. There's nothing cuter
than this prosecutor.
Copy !req
1284. I am reminded
of my days as a little rooster
Copy !req
1285. on the poultry farm, where
I learned a valuable lesson.
Copy !req
1286. Cartoons are resilient.
Copy !req
1287. Ooh! Hit us with a mallet.
Throw us off a cliff.
Copy !req
1288. We can take it.
Copy !req
1289. Speaking as a cartoon,
Copy !req
1290. I think it can even be
a little bit funny.
Copy !req
1291. Am I right?
Copy !req
1292. So what's a little pain
for the greater good?
Copy !req
1293. Pain is a part of life,
and it's valuable.
Copy !req
1294. You like that comfortable rubber
Copy !req
1295. in those shoes there,
don't you, son?
Copy !req
1296. Well, that's duty-free.
Copy !req
1297. We developed it by bouncing it
one million times
Copy !req
1298. off the face of a cartoon.
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1299. Those tornado pills
became jet propellers.
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1300. That high-speed tonic
got us to the moon.
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1301. So yes, yes,
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1302. our cartoon products
sometimes do explode.
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1303. Sometimes they do backfire.
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1304. Sometimes they push
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1305. the boundaries of gravity
and science.
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1306. But do you all want to live
in a world without new?
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1307. Without progress?
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1308. Now, what is it you always
say, Mr. Crane?
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1309. Ah! You can't make
an omelet without...
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1310. breaking a few eggs.
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1311. Well, that's right!
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1312. And in this case, if that egg
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1313. is some low-life, cave-dwelling
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1314. desert dog with
no connections, no family,
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1315. no friends, I'm sorry,
but so be it.
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1316. No harm, no foul.
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1317. That is not an accurate
depiction of my client.
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1318. Well, I was under the impression
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1319. that no one would speak
on his behalf
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1320. apart from his lawyer.
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1321. Is there anyone
in the whole wide world
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1322. who cares what happens
to the coyote at all?
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1323. Beep beep.
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1324. Uh...
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1325. Mr. Runner,
we will be asking you
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1326. a series of yes-or-no questions.
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1327. Two beeps for yes,
one beep for no.
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1328. Do you understand?
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1329. Beep beep!
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1330. - Are you a bird?
- Beep beep!
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1331. Are you easy to catch?
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1332. Beep!
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1333. Okay, good.
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1334. Are you familiar
with a Mr. Wile E. Coyote?
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1335. Beep beep!
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1336. Have you witnessed Mr. Coyote
using any Acme products
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1337. while in your presence
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1338. - in the desert?
- Beep beep!
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1339. Have those products
always failed?
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1340. Beep beep!
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1341. Mr. Runner,
have you been a witness
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1342. to Mr. Coyote's
pain and suffering?
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1343. Beep beep!
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1344. Yeah, me too.
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1345. Would you call him a friend?
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1346. Beep beep!
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1347. Well, thank you,
Mr. Runner.
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1348. Thank you for coming here today.
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1349. Did you have something
additional you'd like to say?
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1350. Beep beep!
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1351. All right, the floor is yours
to add to the record.
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1352. Beep-beep-beep-
beep-beep-beep-beep.
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1353. Beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep.
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1354. Beep-beep-beep-
beep-beep-beep-beep.
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1355. A-R-E-Y...
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1356. Beep-beep-beep...
Beep-beep-beep-beep-beep.
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1357. "Are you coming back?"
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1358. Beep beep!
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1359. Mr. Avery,
I must admit,
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1360. I am very, very moved.
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1361. However, you have offered
no proof
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1362. of Acme's culpability other than
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1363. the pain and suffering
of this one singular coyote.
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1364. Therefore, as much
as it pains me,
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1365. you leave me no other choice.
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1366. All in agreement
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1367. to dismiss this investigation,
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1368. - say "Aye."
- Aye.
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1369. Yes!
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1370. Try, fail.
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1371. Well, no hard feelings, boys.
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1372. It's a tough world out there.
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1373. Better luck next time.
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1374. I think those are
the birds you're looking for.
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1375. Go for it.
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1376. No!
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1377. I say—
I say, this is preposterous!
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1378. I say, preposterous!
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1379. What in tarnation?
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1380. Get me out of here!
I want justice!
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1381. If anyone is live-streaming,
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1382. I will be live-suing,
do you understand?
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1383. I have a medical condition.
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1384. I'm medically more important
than all of you!
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1385. Okay, seriously, guys,
no pictures!
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1386. Get back here, Avery!
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1387. You can't walk away
from me in a suit like that!
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1388. Do you know how much I'm worth?
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1389. Don't you laugh, Senator,
I don't pay you to laugh!
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1390. Well, we tried.
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1391. We tried.
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1392. And thank you, uh, both,
for pushing me.
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1393. Wait, what's going on?
Copy !req
1394. - Hey, look!
- It's the lawyers!
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1395. They're here.
I can't believe this.
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1396. Can I shake your hand, mister?
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1397. Thank you for what you've done.
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1398. Hi, nice to meet you, Paige.
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1399. Paige, Paige!
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1400. - Mr. Avery, Mr. Avery!
- Yeehaw!
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1401. I need your help!
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1402. - What is this?
- They all want to sue Acme.
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1403. Even after how poorly you did.
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1404. They trust you.
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1405. Avery, Jones, and Maltese!
Copy !req
1406. - Hey! Can you believe it?
- I can't!
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1407. Oh, uh,
something's in your office,
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1408. apparently it's very important.
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1409. Okay, you got this.
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1410. Hey, counselor,
you put up a good fight
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1411. at Congress,
but nothing says guilty
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1412. better than some cold,
hard evidence.
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1413. Here's a gift from yours truly,
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1414. from inside the doors at Acme.
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1415. What's this?
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1416. It's about five years'
worth of cases.
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1417. Looks like we got
our work cut out for us.
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1418. Shocking new developments
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1419. in the unfolding
Acme case today.
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1420. Newly leaked
footage from Project Sisyphus
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1421. triggered a pre-dawn raid
on company headquarters
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1422. that quickly led
to the arrest of Buddy Crane,
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1423. Acme's chief legal counsel,
and CEO Foghorn Leghorn
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1424. for their participation
in the alleged misconduct.
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1425. I'm a cage-free rooster!
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1426. Also at the scene,
investigators rescued
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1427. Dr. Peter Lorre,
an Acme scientist
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1428. who went missing
over 30 years ago.
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1429. His upcoming testimony
regarding Project Sisyphus
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1430. promises to bring
the truth to light.
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1431. Oh, dearie!
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1432. Well, don't be a stranger.
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1433. Beep beep!
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1434. Well, sky's the limit.
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1435. Sky's the limit.
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1436. COYOTE v. ACME
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1437. COYOTE v. ACME
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