- 1. Hello, stranger.
- 2. Sorry. Looking for a cigarette.
- 3. I've given up.
- 4. Thank you.
- 5. - Got to be somewhere?
- 6. You didn't fancy my sandwiches?
- 7. - Don't eat fish.
- Why not?
- 8. Fish piss in the sea.
- 9. - So do children.
- Don't eat children, either.
- 10. What's your work?
- 11. I'm sort of a journalist.
- 12. - What sort?
- I write obituaries.
- 13. Are we in for a long wait?
- 14. She was 21 when she came in.
- 15. Does it hurt?
- 16. I'll live.
- 17. Do you want me to put your leg up?
- 18. Yes, please.
- 19. Who cut off your crusts?
- 20. Me.
- 21. Did your mother cut off your crusts
when you were a little boy?
- 22. - Yes, I believe she did.
- You should eat your crusts.
- 23. You should stop smoking.
- 24. How long was I out?
- 25. - About 10 seconds.
- Then what?
- 26. You came to. You focused on me.
- 27. You said, "Hello, stranger."
- 28. What a floozy.
- 29. The cabbie crossed himself, he went,
"Thank fuck. I thought I'd killed her."
- 30. I said, "Let's get her to a hospital."
- 31. I think he thought there'd be paperwork
and he'd be held responsible.
- 32. So I said with a slight sneer,
"Please just drop us at the hospital."
- 33. Show me the sneer.
- 34. Very good, buster.
- 35. Thank you.
- 36. - I told you, I've given up.
- Try harder.
- 37. You live here?
- 38. Just arrived from New York.
- 39. Taking a vacation?
- 40. I'm on an expedition.
- 41. Where's your baggage?
- 42. - Where are you staying?
- I'm a waif.
- 43. A red bus.
- 44. Policeman or "bobby."
Observe the distinctive helmet.
- 45. Saint Paul's Cathedral.
Please note the famous dome.
- 46. - This is a truly magnificent tour.
- It's the London tourists never get to see.
- 47. - What's this?
- I've no idea.
- 48. They're all people
who died saving the lives of others.
- 49. I've been here before.
- 50. Twenty years ago, we came here.
- 51. My mother's dead. My father and I came here
the afternoon she died.
- 52. She was a smoker.
She died in the hospital, actually.
- 53. - Is your father still alive?
- Hanging on.
- 54. He's in a home.
- 55. - You're late for work.
- You saying you want me to go?
- 56. I'm saying you're late for work.
- 57. How did you end up writing obituaries?
- 58. Well, I had dreams of being a writer,
but I had no voice.
- 59. What am I saying? I had no talent.
- 60. So I ended up in obituaries,
which is the Siberia of journalism.
- 61. Tell me what you do.
I want to imagine you in Siberia.
- 62. Really?
- 63. We call it "the obits page."
- 64. There's three of us: Me, Graham, and Harry.
- 65. When I get to work, without fail...
Are you sure you want to know?
- 66. Well, if someone important died,
we go to the "deep freeze"...
- 67. which is a computer file...
- 68. with all the obituaries,
and we find the dead person's life.
- 69. People's obituaries are written
while they're still alive?
- 70. Some people's.
- 71. Then Harry, he's the editor,
decides who we'll lead with.
- 72. Then we make calls, check facts.
- 73. At 6:00, we stand around the computer
and look at the next day's page...
- 74. and make final changes.
- 75. Add a few euphemisms
for our own amusement.
- 76. Such as?
- 77. "He was a convivial fellow."
Meaning he was an alcoholic.
- 78. "He valued his privacy." Gay.
- 79. "He enjoyed his privacy." Raging queen.
- 80. What would my euphemism be?
- 81. - "She was disarming."
- That's not a euphemism.
- 82. Yes, it is.
- 83. - What were you doing in New York?
- You know.
- 84. Well, no, I don't. What, were you studying?
- 85. Stripping.
- 86. Look at your little eyes.
- 87. I can't see my little eyes.
- 88. Why did you leave?
- 89. Problems with a male.
- 90. - Boyfriend?
- Kind of.
- 91. And you left him, just like that?
- 92. It's the only way to leave.
"I don't love you anymore. Goodbye."
- 93. - Supposing you do still love them?
- You don't leave.
- 94. - You've never left somebody you still love?
- 95. This is me.
- 96. Enjoy your stay.
- 97. Please remember
our traffic tends to come from the right.
- 98. Bye.
- 99. Do you have a girlfriend?
- 100. Yeah. Ruth.
- 101. She's called Ruth. She's a linguist.
- 102. - What's your name?
- 103. My name is Alice Ayres.
- 104. Good.
- 105. I'm just gonna change the film.
Are you okay for time?
- 106. - Do you mind if I smoke?
- If you must.
- 107. - I don't have to.
- Then don't.
- 108. I liked your book.
- 109. Thanks.
- 110. - When's it published?
- Next year. How come you've read it?
- 111. Your publisher sent me a manuscript.
I read it last night.
- 112. You kept me up till 4:00.
- 113. I'm flattered.
- 114. Is your heroine
based on someone you know?
- 115. Yes. She's someone called Alice.
- 116. How does she feel
about you stealing her life?
- 117. Borrowing her life.
- 118. I'm dedicating the book to her.
- 119. Do you exhibit?
- 120. Sometimes. I have a thing next year.
- 121. Portraits?
- 122. - Of who?
- 123. How do your strangers feel
about you stealing their lives?
- 124. Borrowing.
- 125. Am I a stranger?
- 126. No. You're a job.
- 127. And you're a sloucher. Sit up.
- 128. You didn't find it obscene?
- 129. - What?
- The book.
- 130. I thought it was accurate.
- 131. About what?
- 132. About sex. About love.
- 133. In what way?
- 134. - You wrote it.
- You read it till 4:00.
- 135. Don't raise your eyebrows.
It makes you look smug.
- 136. - But you did like it?
- Yes, but I could go off it.
- 137. Stand up.
- 138. Any criticisms?
- 139. I'm not sure about the title.
- 140. Got a better one?
- 141. The Aquarium.
- 142. So you liked the filth.
- 143. - You like aquariums.
- Fish are therapeutic.
- 144. - Hang out in aquariums, do you?
- When I can.
- 145. Good for picking up strangers?
- 146. Photographing strangers.
- 147. Come here.
- 148. You're beautiful.
- 149. I don't kiss strange men.
- 150. Neither do I.
- 151. Do you and this Alice live together?
- 152. Yes.
- 153. Are you married?
- 154. Yes.
- 155. - No. Yes.
- 156. Separated.
- 157. - Do you have any children?
- 158. - Would you like some?
- Yes, but not today.
- 159. Would Alice like children?
- 160. She's too young.
- 161. She works in a café near here.
She's coming to meet me.
- 162. Quite soon.
- 163. Why are you wasting her time?
- 164. - You're judgmental.
- You're devious.
- 165. I'm not wasting her time.
She's completely lovable.
- 166. And completely unleavable.
- 167. And you don't want someone else
getting their dirty hands on her.
- 168. - Men are crap.
- But all the same...
- 169. They're still crap.
- 170. Your muse.
- 171. - You've ruined my life.
- You'll get over it.
- 172. Dan.
- 173. Your shirt.
- 174. You all done?
- 175. - How's the photographer?
- Good. Professional.
- 176. Rigorous. Beady. One of your lot.
- 177. - What, female?
- 178. Come on.
- 179. Anna?
- 180. - Alice.
- 181. - Sorry to interrupt.
- No, we've just finished.
- 182. - Would you like some tea?
- No, thanks.
- 183. I've been serving it all day.
Can I use your loo?
- 184. Sure. Just through there.
- 185. She is beautiful.
- 186. - I've got to see you.
- 187. What's this? Patriotism?
- 188. - I don't want trouble.
- I'm not trouble.
- 189. You're taken.
- 190. - I've got to see you.
- 191. - You kissed me.
- What are you, 12?
- 192. I'm a block of ice.
- 193. Will you take my photo?
- 194. I've never been photographed
by a professional before.
- 195. I'd really appreciate it. I can pay you.
- 196. No, I'd like to.
- 197. Only if you don't mind.
- 198. Why should I?
- 199. Because you'll have to go away.
- 200. We don't want him here
while we're working, do we?
- 201. No, we don't.
- 202. Right. I'll be in the pub on the corner.
- 203. Have fun.
- 204. Thank you.
- 205. - Good luck with your exhibition.
- Good luck with your book.
- 206. So you've got an exhibition?
- 207. Yeah.
- 208. I read Dan's book.
- 209. You've had quite a life.
- 210. Thanks.
- 211. He said you work in a café?
- 212. I am a waitress.
- 213. That's a temporary thing?
- 214. No.
- 215. Why don't you come over here and sit?
- 216. - You live here?
- I do now.
- 217. Because you're single?
- 218. Who was your last boyfriend?
- 219. My husband.
- 220. Was he English?
- 221. - Very.
- What happened to him?
- 222. Someone younger.
- 223. You've got a great face.
- 224. Doesn't everyone?
- 225. I suppose so.
- 226. I just...
- 227. From the book,
somehow I thought you'd be less...
- 228. What?
- 229. I don't know what, exactly.
- 230. How do you feel about him using your life?
- 231. It's really none of your business.
- 232. When he let me in downstairs...
- 233. he had this look.
- 234. I just listened to your conversation.
- 235. I don't know what to say.
- 236. I'm not a thief, Alice.
- 237. Do you want a drink?
- 238. I have some vodka in the fridge.
We could have a drink.
- 239. Just take my picture.
- 240. Good.
- 241. Shit.
- 242. What's the histology?
- 243. Progressive?
- 244. No. Sounds like an atrophy.
- 245. Okay. Bye.
- 246. Bollocks.
- 247. Jesus.
- 248. Anna?
- 249. I got the coat.
- 250. The white coat.
- 251. So I see.
- 252. I'm Larry. The doctor.
- 253. Hello, Dr. Larry.
- 254. Feel free to call me "The Sultan."
- 255. I can't believe these things actually happen.
- 256. I thought if you showed up,
you'd be an old trout.
- 257. But you are bloody gorgeous.
- 258. Well, thank you.
- 259. Fish. You gotta respect them.
- 260. - Have you?
- Of course.
- 261. We were fish. Long ago.
- 262. Before we were apes.
- 263. You mentioned a hotel.
- 264. No rush.
- 265. Actually, there is.
I've got to be in surgery by 3:00.
- 266. - Are you having an operation?
- No, I'm doing one.
- 267. - Are you really a doctor?
- I said I was.
- 268. You are Anna?
- 269. I'm sorry. Did I photograph you?
- 270. Did we meet somewhere?
- 271. Come on. Don't play games,
you nymph of the Net.
- 272. - Excuse me?
- You were up for it yesterday.
- 273. - Was I?
- Yeah. "Wear my wet knickers.
- 274. "Sit on my face.
- 275. - "Cum-hungry bitch."
- 276. Why do I feel like a pervert?
- 277. I think you're the victim of a practical joke.
- 278. - I am so sorry.
- It's okay.
- 279. No.
- 280. We spoke on the Net last night.
Now you've seen me...
- 281. I wasn't on the Net last night.
- 282. Where were you
between 6:45 and 7:00 p. M?
- 283. That's really none of your business.
- 284. - Where were you?
- On the Net, talking to you.
- 285. - Well, I was talking to someone.
- Someone pretending to be me.
- 286. I think you were talking to Daniel Woolf.
- 287. - Who?
- This guy I know. It's him.
- 288. - No, I was talking to a woman.
- How do you know?
- 289. Believe me, she was a woman.
I got a huge...
- 290. She was a... She wasn't, was she?
- 291. No.
- 292. What a bastard.
- 293. How do you know him?
- 294. I don't really know him.
I took his photograph for a book he wrote.
- 295. - I hope it sank without a trace.
- It's on its way.
- 296. There is justice in the world.
- 297. What's it called?
- 298. The Aquarium.
- 299. What a prick! He's advertising.
- 300. But why would he pretend to be you?
- 301. I think he likes me.
- 302. Funny way of showing it.
Can't he send you flowers?
- 303. Extraordinary thing, the Internet.
- 304. Possibility of genuine
- 305. The first great democratic medium.
- 306. Absolutely. It's the future.
- 307. Two guys wanking in cyberspace.
- 308. He was the wanker.
- 309. I'll say this for him, he can write.
- 310. Is he in love with you?
- 311. I don't know. No.
- 312. - Are you in love with him?
- I hardly know him.
- 313. But you're sort of interested.
- 314. I think he's interesting.
- 315. No, don't. I look like a criminal in photos.
- 316. Please. It's my birthday.
- 317. Really?
- 318. Really.
- 319. Happy birthday.
- 320. Thank you.
- 321. This man comes into the café today
and he says:
- 322. "Hey, waitress, what are you waiting for?"
- 323. Funny guy.
- 324. So I go,
"I'm waiting for a man to come in here...
- 325. "and fuck me sideways
with a beautiful line like that."
- 326. What did he do?
- 327. Asked for a cup of tea with two sugars.
- 328. - I'm waiting for you.
- To do what?
- 329. Leave me.
- 330. I'm not going to leave you.
I totally love you. Why is this?
- 331. Please let me come.
I want to be there for you.
- 332. - Are you ashamed of me?
- Of course not. I told you...
- 333. - I want to be alone.
- 334. To grieve.
- 335. To think.
- 336. - I love you. Why won't you let me?
- It's only a weekend.
- 337. Why won't you let me love you?
- 338. Buster.
- 339. Let's go to this thing...
- 340. then I'll get my train. I'll be away one night.
- 341. I'll be back before you know it, okay?
- 342. Do these people pay you?
Or do you pay them?
- 343. Like it?
- 344. No.
- 345. What were you so sad about?
- 346. - Life.
- What's that, then?
- 347. So what do you reckon, in general?
- 348. You want to talk about art?
- 349. I know it's vulgar to discuss The Work
at an opening of The Work...
- 350. but someone's got to do it.
- 351. I'm serious. What do you think?
- 352. It's a lie.
- 353. It's a bunch of sad strangers
- 354. and all the glittering assholes
who appreciate art...
- 355. say it's beautiful
because that's what they want to see.
- 356. But the people in the photos are sad...
- 357. and alone.
- 358. But the pictures
make the world seem beautiful...
- 359. so the exhibition's reassuring,
which makes it a lie.
- 360. And everyone loves a big, fat lie.
- 361. - I'm the big, fat liar's boyfriend.
- 362. - Larry.
- 363. So you're Anna's boyfriend.
- 364. A princess can kiss a toad.
- 365. - Frog.
- 366. - Frog.
- Toad, frog, lobster. They're all the same.
- 367. So how long have you been seeing her?
- 368. Four months. We're in the first flush.
- 369. It's paradise. All my nasty habits amuse her.
- 370. - You shouldn't smoke.
- Fuck off.
- 371. I'm a doctor.
I'm supposed to say things like that.
- 372. - You want one?
- 373. Yes. No.
- 374. Fuck it, yes.
- 375. No.
- 376. I've given up.
- 377. Anna tells me your bloke wrote a book.
- 378. - Any good?
- Of course.
- 379. It's about you, isn't it?
- 380. - Some of me.
- Oh? What did he leave out?
- 381. The truth.
- 382. Is he here, your bloke?
- 383. Yeah, he's over there talking to your bird.
- 384. My boyfriend's here.
- 385. He's here? Where?
- 386. There.
- 387. With Alice?
- 388. I believe you're acquainted.
- 389. - I've never seen him before.
- 390. But you've spoken.
- 391. Well, conversed.
- 392. - Corresponded.
- I wrote to him?
- 393. On the Net. You sent him to the aquarium.
I happened to be there.
- 394. Nice work, Cupid.
- 395. - We need to talk about this.
- No, we don't.
- 396. He's very pretty.
- 397. She is very tall.
- 398. So you're a stripper?
- 399. Yeah.
- 400. And?
- 401. You take care, now.
- 402. I will.
- 403. You, too.
- 404. That's the way it should be.
- 405. He's very funny.
- 406. Excuse me. Nice to meet you.
- 407. - Pleased with the success?
- Yes, absolutely.
- 408. Yours was the best.
- 409. You were the belle of the bullshit.
- 410. Who were those awful people?
- 411. - Where do they come from?
- Why should we care?
- 412. - You get this one. You'll miss your train.
- I'll be fine.
- 413. Come on, it's cold.
- 414. I'll see you on Sunday.
- 415. Where to, love?
- 416. Taxi!
- 417. Sorry.
- 418. Why don't you make up
your bleeding mind?
- 419. Thank you so much.
I appreciate your coming.
- 420. I'll call you tomorrow. See you next week.
- 421. - Thanks.
- Thanks very much.
- 422. - I thought you'd gone.
- I forgot this.
- 423. So he's a dermatologist.
Can you get more boring than that?
- 424. - Obituarist?
- Failed novelist, please.
- 425. I was sorry about your book.
- 426. Thanks. I blame the title.
- 427. So we pull out our Christmas crackers
with those appalling jokes.
- 428. My guy says,
"Hang on. These are second-rate jokes.
- 429. "I've got a first-rate joke.
Sit back and take notice."
- 430. So we go, "Okay, what's the joke?"
And he says:
- 431. "It's based on A Christmas Carol...
- 432. "which is why it seems
so relevant on Christmas Day."
- 433. I haven't even seen you for a year.
- 434. Yes, you have.
- 435. Only because you stalk me
outside my studio.
- 436. I don't stalk. I lurk.
- 437. And when I'm not there you look for me.
- 438. - How do you know if you're not there?
- Because I am there...
- 439. lurking from a distance.
- 440. Look at me.
- 441. Tell me you're not in love with me.
- 442. I'm not in love with you.
- 443. You just lied.
- 444. I'm your stranger. Jump.
- 445. - Hello, stranger.
- 446. Intense conversation?
- 447. His father died.
- 448. Were you spying?
- 449. Lovingly observing...
- 450. with a telescope.
- 451. He's taller than in his photo.
- 452. His photo's a headshot.
- 453. Yeah, I know.
- 454. But his head implied a short body,
when, in fact, his head is deceptive.
- 455. Deceptive?
- 456. He's actually got a long body.
He's a stringy fucker.
- 457. I could have him.
- 458. - What?
- If it came to it, in a scrap, I could have him.
- 459. Did you tell him we call him Cupid?
- 460. No, that's our joke.
- 461. I had a chat with young Alice.
- 462. - Fancy her?
- Of course.
- 463. - Not as much as you.
- Why not?
- 464. You're a woman. She's a girl.
- 465. She has the moronic beauty of youth,
but she's sly.
- 466. - She seems open to me.
- That's how she wants to seem.
- 467. You forget you're dealing with
a clinical observer of the human carnival.
- 468. - Am I, now?
- 469. You seem more like the cat
that got the cream. Stop licking yourself.
- 470. That's the nastiest thing
you've ever said to me.
- 471. That's horrible.
- 472. I'm sorry.
- 473. I'm so sorry.
- 474. - Where have you been?
- Work thing.
- 475. Had a drink with Harry.
You never have one drink with Harry.
- 476. - You know he's in love with you.
- No, he's not.
- 477. Is he?
- 478. Did you eat?
- 479. I'll make you something.
- 480. I'm not hungry.
- 481. What?
- 482. This will hurt.
- 483. I've been with Anna.
- 484. I'm in love with her.
- 485. We've been seeing each other for a year.
- 486. It began at her opening.
- 487. - Have a nice one.
- Cheers, guvnor.
- 488. Don't move.
- 489. I want to remember this moment forever.
- 490. First time I walked through the door,
returning from a business trip...
- 491. to be greeted by my wife.
- 492. I have, in this moment, become an adult.
- 493. Thanks for waiting up, you darling.
- 494. You goddess.
- 495. I missed you.
- 496. How about some tea?
- 497. Jesus, I'm knackered!
- 498. - Didn't you sleep on the plane?
- 499. because the permed German next to me
was snoring like a Messerschmitt.
- 500. - What's the time?
- About midnight.
- 501. Time. What a tricky little fucker.
- 502. My head's in two places.
My brain actually hurts.
- 503. - Do you want some food?
- No, I need a bath.
- 504. - I'll run it for you.
- No, I'll have a shower.
- 505. You okay?
- 506. How was the thing?
- 507. As dermatological conferences go,
it was a riot.
- 508. How was the hotel?
- 509. Someone told me that
the beautiful people of the Paranoid Hotel...
- 510. the concierge, the bellboys and girls...
Did you know this?
- 511. - They're all whores.
- Everybody knows that.
- 512. I didn't.
- 513. I don't suppose you'd fancy a friendly poke.
- 514. I just had a bath.
- 515. Right.
- 516. I'll see to myself, then,
in the Elle Decoration bathroom.
- 517. - You chose that bathroom.
- And every time I wash in it I feel dirty.
- 518. It's cleaner than I am. It's got attitude.
- 519. The mirror says, "Who the fuck are you?"
- 520. - You chose it.
- Doesn't mean I like it.
- 521. We shouldn't have this.
- 522. I hear middle-class guilt.
- 523. Working-class guilt.
Why are you dressed if you just had a bath?
- 524. We needed some milk.
- 525. You okay?
- 526. - You?
- 527. I'm going.
- 528. - I'm sorry.
- 529. What are you sorry for?
- 530. Everything.
- 531. - Why didn't you tell me before?
- 532. Is it because she's successful?
- 533. No, it's because she doesn't need me.
- 534. Did you bring her here?
- 535. Yes.
- 536. - Didn't she get married?
- She stopped seeing me.
- 537. Is that when we went to the country?
- 538. To celebrate our third anniversary?
- 539. Did you phone her? Beg her to come back?
- 540. - When you went for your long, lonely walks?
- 541. You're a piece of shit.
- 542. Deception is brutal.
I'm not pretending otherwise.
- 543. How?
- 544. How does it work?
- 545. How do you do this to someone?
- 546. Not good enough.
- 547. - I fell in love with her, Alice.
- As if you had no choice?
- 548. There's a moment. There's always a moment.
- 549. "I can do this, I can give in to this,
or I can resist it."
- 550. And I don't know when your moment was,
but I bet you there was one.
- 551. I'm going.
- 552. - It's not safe out there.
- And it's safe in here?
- 553. What about your things?
- 554. - I don't need things.
- Where will you go?
- 555. Disappear.
- 556. The Sultan has returned bearing gifts.
- 557. Thank you.
- 558. They're beautiful.
- 559. Here's a thing. Alice was at the hotel.
- 560. What?
- 561. They sell these arty postcards in the lobby.
- 562. I bought one to boost your sales.
- 563. "Young Woman, London."
- 564. And I checked for your book
in The Museum of Modern Art. It was there.
- 565. Someone bought one.
- 566. This guy with a ridiculous little beard.
- 567. He was drooling over your photo on
the inside cover. He fancied you, the geek.
- 568. I was so proud of you.
You've broken New York.
- 569. You're wonderful.
- 570. Don't ever forget it.
- 571. Can I still see you?
- 572. Dan, can I still see you? Answer me.
- 573. I can't see you.
If I see you, I'll never leave you.
- 574. - What will you do if I find someone else?
- Be jealous.
- 575. You still fancy me?
- 576. Of course.
- 577. You're lying.
- 578. I've been you.
- 579. Will you hold me?
- 580. - I amuse you, but I bore you.
- 581. You did love me?
- 582. I'll always love you. I hate hurting you.
- 583. Then why are you?
- 584. 'Cause I'm selfish.
- 585. - And I think I'll be happier with her.
- You won't.
- 586. You'll miss me.
- 587. No one will ever love you as much as I do.
- 588. Why isn't love enough?
- 589. I'm the one who leaves.
I'm supposed to leave you.
- 590. Make some tea, buster.
- 591. Why are you dressed?
- 592. Because I think
you might be about to leave me...
- 593. and I didn't want to be wearing
a dressing gown.
- 594. I slept with someone in New York.
- 595. A whore.
- 596. I'm sorry.
- 597. Why did you tell me?
- 598. - I couldn't lie to you.
- Why not?
- 599. Because I love you.
- 600. It's fine.
- 601. Really? Why?
- 602. Something's wrong.
- 603. Tell me.
- 604. Are you leaving me?
- 605. Because of this?
- 606. Why?
- 607. Dan.
- 608. Cupid?
- 609. He's our joke.
- 610. I love him.
- 611. You're seeing him now?
- 612. Since when?
- 613. Since my opening last year.
- 614. I'm disgusting.
- 615. You're phenomenal.
- 616. You're so clever.
- 617. Why did you marry me?
- 618. I stopped seeing him. I wanted us to work.
- 619. - Why did you tell me you wanted children?
- Because I did.
- 620. - And now you want children with him?
- 621. I don't know.
- 622. But we're happy...
- 623. aren't we?
- 624. - You're gonna go live with him?
- You stay here if you want.
- 625. I don't give a fuck about the spoils.
- 626. You did this to me the day we met.
You let me hang myself for your amusement.
- 627. Why didn't you just tell me
when I walked in the door?
- 628. - I was scared.
- You're a coward, you spoilt bitch.
- 629. Are you dressed
because you thought I might hit you?
- 630. What do you think I am?
- 631. - I've been hit before.
- Not by me.
- 632. Is he a good fuck?
- 633. Don't do this.
- 634. Just answer the question.
- 635. Is he good?
- 636. Yes.
- 637. Better than me?
- 638. - Different.
- 639. - Gentler.
- What does that mean?
- 640. - You know what it means.
- Tell me.
- 641. - No.
- I treat you like a whore?
- 642. - Sometimes.
- Why would that be?
- 643. - I'm sorry, you're...
- Don't say it.
- 644. Don't you fucking say:
- 645. "You're too good for me."
I am, but don't say it.
- 646. You're making the mistake of your life.
- 647. You're leaving me because you believe
that you don't deserve happiness...
- 648. but you do, Anna.
- 649. Did you have a bath
because you had sex with him?
- 650. So you wouldn't smell of him?
- 651. So you'd feel less guilty?
- 652. How do you feel?
- 653. Guilty.
- 654. Did you ever love me?
- 655. Yes.
- 656. Did you do it here?
- 657. No.
- 658. Why not?
- 659. Do you wish we did?
- 660. Just tell me the truth.
- 661. Yes, we did it here.
- 662. Where?
- 663. There.
- 664. On this?
- 665. We had our first fuck on this.
- 666. Did you think of me?
- 667. When?
- 668. When did you do it here?
- 669. - Answer the question!
- This evening.
- 670. Did you come?
- 671. - Why are you doing this?
- 'Cause I want to know.
- 672. - Yes, I came.
- How many times?
- 673. - Twice.
- 674. - First he went down on me, then we fucked.
- Who was where?
- 675. I was on top,
then he fucked me from behind.
- 676. - That's when you came the second time?
- 677. - Why is the sex so important?
- Because I'm a fucking caveman!
- 678. Did you touch yourself
while he fucked you?
- 679. - You wank for him?
- 680. - And he does?
- We do everything...
- 681. - that people who have sex do.
- You enjoy sucking him off?
- 682. - You like his cock?
- I love it.
- 683. - Like him coming in your face?
- 684. - What does it taste like?
- Like you, but sweeter.
- 685. That's the spirit. Thank you.
Thank you for your honesty.
- 686. Now fuck off and die...
- 687. you fucked-up slag.
- 688. I love you.
- 689. Thank you.
- 690. - What's this room called?
- The Paradise Suite.
- 691. - How many Paradise Suites are there?
- 692. Do I have to pay you to talk to me?
- 693. No. But if you want to tip me,
- 694. Thank you.
- 695. I used to come here a million years ago.
It was a punk club.
- 696. The stage was...
- 697. Everything is a version of something else.
- 698. Twenty years ago.
- 699. How old were you?
- 700. - Four.
- 701. - When I was in flares, you were in nappies.
- My nappies were flared.
- 702. - You have the face of an angel.
- Thank you.
- 703. What does your cunt taste like?
- 704. Heaven.
- 705. How long have you been doing this?
- 706. - Three months.
- Straight after he left you?
- 707. No one left me.
- 708. - Nice wig.
- Thank you.
- 709. Does all this turn you on?
- 710. - Sometimes.
- 711. You're telling me that
'cause you think it's what I want to hear.
- 712. You think I'm turned on
by it turning you on.
- 713. The thought of me creaming myself when
I strip for strangers doesn't turn you on?
- 714. Put like that, yes.
- 715. - Are you flirting with me?
- 716. - Are you allowed to flirt with me?
- 717. - Really?
- No, I'm not. I'm breaking all the rules.
- 718. - You're mocking me.
- Yes, I'm allowed to flirt.
- 719. To prize my money from me.
- 720. To prize your money from you,
I may do or say as I please.
- 721. - Except touch.
- We're not allowed to touch.
- 722. Open your legs.
- 723. Wider.
- 724. Show me.
- 725. So what would happen
if I touched you now?
- 726. - I'd call security.
- What would they do?
- 727. They would ask you to leave
and not to come back.
- 728. - And if I refused to leave?
- They would remove you.
- 729. Those are security cameras in the ceiling.
- 730. I think it's best I don't attempt to touch you.
- 731. I'd like to touch you. Later.
- 732. - I'm not a whore.
- I wouldn't pay.
- 733. Why the fuck did he leave you?
- 734. - What's your job?
- A question. You asked me a question.
- 735. - So?
- It's a chink in your armor.
- 736. - I'm not wearing armor.
- Yes, you are.
- 737. - Why are you calling yourself Jane?
- Because it's my name.
- 738. We both know it isn't.
- 739. You're all protecting your identities.
- 740. There's a girl out there who calls
herself Venus. What's her real name?
- 741. - Pluto.
- You're cheeky.
- 742. - Would you like me to stop being cheeky?
- 743. What's your name?
- 744. Daniel.
- 745. Daniel the dermatologist.
- 746. - I never told you my job.
- I guessed.
- 747. You're strong.
- 748. There's another one out there.
Judging by the scars, a patient of Dr. Tit.
- 749. Calls herself Cupid.
Who's gonna tell her he was a bloke?
- 750. - He wasn't a bloke. He was a little boy.
- I want you to tell me your name.
- 751. Please.
- 752. Thank you. My name is Jane.
- 753. Your real name.
- 754. Thank you.
- 755. - My real name is Jane.
- 756. Thank you. Still Jane.
- 757. I've got about another £500 here.
- 758. Why don't I just give you all this money
and you tell me what your real name is...
- 759. Alice?
- 760. I promise.
- 761. Thank you.
- 762. My real name...
- 763. is plain Jane Jones.
- 764. I may be rich, but I'm not stupid.
- 765. What a shame, Doc.
I love them rich and stupid.
- 766. Don't you fuck around with me.
- 767. - I apologize.
- 768. All the girls in this hellhole,
the pneumatic robots...
- 769. the coked-up baby dolls,
and you're no different.
- 770. You all use stage names
to con yourselves you're someone else...
- 771. so you don't feel ashamed showing
your cunts and assholes to strangers.
- 772. I'm trying to have a conversation.
- 773. - You're out of cash.
- I paid for this room.
- 774. This is extra.
- 775. - We met last year.
- Wrong girl.
- 776. Talk to me!
- 777. - I am.
- Talk to me in real life.
- 778. I didn't know you'd be here.
I know who you are.
- 779. I love you.
- 780. I love everything about you that hurts.
- 781. She won't even see me.
- 782. - You feel the same. I know it.
- You can't cry in here.
- 783. - Hold me. Let me hold you.
- We're not allowed to touch.
- 784. Come home with me. It's safe.
Let me look after you.
- 785. - I don't need looking after.
- Everyone needs looking after.
- 786. I'm not your revenge fuck.
- 787. - I'll pay you.
- I don't need your money.
- 788. - You have my money.
- Thank you.
- 789. - "Thank you." Is that some kind of rule?
- Just being polite.
- 790. Do you get a lot of grown men
crying their guts out here?
- 791. Occupational hazard.
- 792. Have you ever desired a customer?
- 793. Yes.
- 794. Then put me out of my misery.
Do you desire me?
- 795. Because I'm being pretty honest
about my feelings for you.
- 796. - Your feelings?
- 797. No, I don't desire you.
- 798. Thank you.
- 799. Thank you sincerely for your honesty.
- 800. You think you haven't give us
anything of yourselves?
- 801. Do you think because you don't love us
or desire us...
- 802. or even like us, you think you've won?
- 803. It's not a war.
- 804. If I asked you to strip right now, would you?
- 805. - Of course. Do you want me to?
- 806. Alice, tell me something true.
- 807. Lying is the most fun a girl can have
without taking her clothes off...
- 808. but it's better if you do.
- 809. You're cold.
- 810. You're all cold at heart.
- 811. What do you have to do
to get a bit of intimacy around here?
- 812. Maybe next time
I'll have worked on my intimacy.
- 813. No, I'll tell you what's gonna work.
You're gonna take your gear off right now.
- 814. You're gonna turn around very slowly,
and you're gonna bend over...
- 815. and you're gonna touch the fucking floor
for my viewing pleasure.
- 816. Is that what you want?
- 817. What else could I want?
- 818. I'm sorry.
- 819. - What happened?
- 820. - Do you want to go stand in the back?
- No, let's have a drink.
- 821. You look flushed.
- 822. You have no need to run.
- 823. - Vodka tonic?
- 824. - Vodka tonic and a Guinness, please.
- 825. How was it?
- 826. Fine.
- 827. You had lunch?
- 828. Then what?
- 829. - And then we left.
- 830. There's no "and."
- 831. You haven't seen him in four months.
There must be an "and."
- 832. - How is he?
- 833. - Keep the change.
- Thank you, sir.
- 834. How is his dermatology?
- 835. - He's in private practice now.
- Is he?
- 836. Was he weeping all over the place?
- 837. - Some of the time.
- Poor bastard.
- 838. Was he difficult?
- 839. Are you angry that I saw him?
- 840. No. It's just...
- 841. I haven't seen Alice.
- 842. You can't see Alice.
You don't know where she is.
- 843. I haven't tried to find her.
- 844. You know why I saw him.
- 845. He's been begging me for months.
I saw him so he'd sign.
- 846. - So has he signed?
- 847. Congratulations.
- 848. You're a divorcée.
- 849. Double divorcée.
- 850. Sorry.
- 851. How do you feel?
- 852. Tired.
- 853. I love you.
- 854. And I need a piss.
- 855. I hate this place.
- 856. At least it's central.
- 857. I hate central.
Central London's a theme park.
- 858. I hate retro. I hate the future.
Where does that leave me?
- 859. Come back.
- 860. - You promised you wouldn't.
- Come back.
- 861. - How's work?
- Jesus. Work's shit, okay?
- 862. Do they have waiters here?
I love you. Please come back.
- 863. I'm not coming back.
- 864. Sign.
- 865. No pen.
- 866. Pen.
- 867. Give me back my hand.
- 868. Sign.
- 869. I'll sign on one condition.
- 870. We skip this.
We go to my sleek new surgery...
- 871. and we christen the patients' bed
with our final fuck.
- 872. I know you don't want to...
- 873. and I know you think I'm sick for asking,
but that's what I'm asking.
- 874. For old times' sake.
- 875. Because I'm obsessed with you.
- 876. Because I can't get over you unless...
- 877. Because I think, on some small level...
- 878. you owe me something
for deceiving me so exquisitely.
- 879. For all these reasons,
I am begging you to give me your body.
- 880. You'd be my whore.
- 881. And in return,
I will pay you with your liberty.
- 882. You do this,
I swear I will not contact you again.
- 883. I'm going to the bar.
- 884. I assume you still drink vodka tonic?
- 885. You slept with him, didn't you?
- 886. - What do you expect me to do?
- 887. Why didn't you lie to me?
- 888. Because we said
we'd always tell each other the truth.
- 889. What's so great about the truth?
- 890. Try lying for a change.
It's the currency of the world.
- 891. I did what he wanted,
and now he will leave us alone.
- 892. I love you.
- 893. - I didn't give him anything.
- Your body?
- 894. If Alice came to you, desperate...
- 895. with all that love still between you...
- 896. and she said she needed you to want her...
- 897. so she could get over you, you'd do it.
- 898. I wouldn't like it either, but I'd forgive you.
- 899. - It's kindness.
- No, cowardice.
- 900. You haven't got the guts to let him hate you.
- 901. I'm doing this because I feel guilty,
and because I pity you.
- 902. - You know that, don't you?
- 903. - Feel good about yourself?
- 904. It's gone.
- 905. - We're not innocent anymore.
- Don't stop loving me.
- 906. I can see it draining out of you.
It's me, remember?
- 907. It was a stupid thing to do,
and it meant nothing.
- 908. If you love me enough, you'll forgive me.
- 909. - Are you testing me?
- 910. - I do understand.
- No. He understands.
- 911. All I can see is him all over you.
- 912. He's clever, your ex-husband.
- 913. I almost admire him.
- 914. You going to tell him?
- 915. I don't know.
- 916. Better to be truthful about this kind of thing.
- 917. Sign.
- 918. I forgive you.
- 919. Sign.
- 920. I think you enjoyed it.
- 921. He wheedles you into bed. The old jokes...
- 922. the strange familiarity.
I think you had a whale of a time.
- 923. And the truth is I'll never know
unless I ask him.
- 924. Why don't you?
- 925. Yes?
- 926. You can go in now.
- 927. - I want Anna back.
- She's made her choice.
- 928. I owe you an apology. I fell in love with her.
My intention was not to make you suffer.
- 929. So where's the apology? You cunt.
- 930. I apologize.
If you love her, you'll let her go...
- 931. so she can be happy.
- 932. - She doesn't want to be happy.
- Everybody wants to be happy.
- 933. Depressives don't. They want to be unhappy
to confirm they're depressed.
- 934. If they were happy,
they couldn't be depressed.
- 935. They'd have to go out into the world
and live, which can be depressing.
- 936. - Anna's not a depressive.
- Isn't she?
- 937. - I love her.
- Boo-hoo. So do I.
- 938. She's gone back to you
because she can't bear your suffering.
- 939. You don't know who she is.
- 940. - You love her like a dog loves its owner.
- And the owner loves the dog for so doing.
- 941. You'll hurt her. You'll never forgive her.
- 942. Of course I forgive her. I have forgiven her.
- 943. Without forgiveness we're savages.
- 944. - You only met her because of me.
- Yeah. Thanks.
- 945. It's a joke. Your marriage is a joke.
- 946. Here's a good one. She never sent
the divorce papers to her lawyer.
- 947. Now, to a towering romantic hero like you,
I don't doubt I am somewhat common.
- 948. But I am, nevertheless,
what she has chosen...
- 949. and we must respect what the woman wants.
- 950. If you go near her again, I swear...
- 951. I will kill you.
- 952. Okay. I have patients to see.
- 953. When she came here,
do you think she enjoyed it?
- 954. I didn't do it to give her a nice time.
- 955. I fucked her to fuck you up.
- 956. A good fight is never clean.
And of course she enjoyed it.
- 957. As you know, she loves a guilty fuck.
- 958. - You're an animal.
- Yeah? What are you?
- 959. You think love is simple.
You think the heart is like a diagram.
- 960. Have you ever seen a human heart?
It looks like a fist wrapped in blood!
- 961. Go fuck yourself. You writer!
- 962. You liar!
- 963. You go check a few facts
while I get my hands dirty.
- 964. She hates your hands.
She hates your simplicity.
- 965. I spent the whole of last week
talking about you.
- 966. I know all your ways. Anna says
you fucked her with your eyes closed.
- 967. She tells me you wake in the night
crying for your mother, you mommy's boy.
- 968. I could go on.
- 969. Shall we stop this?
- 970. It's over. Accept it.
- 971. You don't know the first thing about love...
- 972. because you don't understand compromise.
- 973. - Don't cry on me.
- I'm sorry.
- 974. I don't know what to do.
- 975. You want my advice? You go back to Alice.
- 976. She'd never have me.
- 977. - She's vanished.
- No, she hasn't.
- 978. I found her, by accident.
- 979. She's working in a club.
- 980. Yes, I saw her naked.
- 981. No, I did not fuck her.
- 982. You spoke to her?
- 983. Yes, I know. One minute.
- 984. How is she?
- 985. She loves you...
- 986. beyond comprehension.
- 987. Your prescription.
- 988. It's where she works.
- 989. Go to her.
- 990. Thank you.
- 991. You still pissing about on the Net?
- 992. Not recently.
- 993. - I wanted to kill you.
- I thought you wanted to fuck me.
- 994. Don't get lippy.
- 995. I liked your book, by the way.
- 996. Thanks. You stand alone.
- 997. With Anna.
- 998. - You still writing obituaries? Busy?
- I was made editor.
- 999. - Yeah? How come?
- Previous editor died.
- 1000. Alcohol poisoning.
I sat with him for a week in the hospital.
- 1001. I really do have patients to see.
- 1002. - Thank you.
- For what?
- 1003. - Being kind.
- I am kind.
- 1004. Your invoice is in the post.
- 1005. I lied to you.
- 1006. I did fuck Alice.
- 1007. Sorry for telling you.
I'm just not big enough to forgive you.
- 1008. Buster.
- 1009. Show me the sneer.
- 1010. Beautiful.
- 1011. You'll wake up the hotel.
- 1012. Fuck me.
- 1013. Again? We have to get up at 6:00.
- 1014. How can one man
be so endlessly disappointing?
- 1015. That's my charm.
- 1016. So where are we going?
- 1017. - My treat.
- Where are we going?
- 1018. My holiday surprise. My rules.
- 1019. Where are we going?
- 1020. New York.
- 1021. You angel.
- 1022. - You did remember to pack my passport?
- Of course. It's with my passport.
- 1023. And where's that?
- 1024. In a place where you can't look.
No one sees my passport picture.
- 1025. When we get on the plane,
we'll have been together four years.
- 1026. What about the gap?
- 1027. You mean trial separation? Didn't work out.
- 1028. Happy anniversary.
- 1029. I'm going to take my eyes out.
- 1030. - What was in my sandwiches?
- 1031. - How many stitches did I get?
- 1032. But you should have had three.
- 1033. - What was your euphemism?
- 1034. Too easy, buster. Next?
- 1035. That park. Who'd I go there with?
- 1036. Your father.
- 1037. Were the chairs in the hospital gray or blue?
- 1038. - No idea.
- Trick question. They were green.
- 1039. You are a trick question.
- 1040. How come we never took a vacation?
- 1041. We went to the country.
- 1042. Doesn't count. You were off
making sneaky phone calls...
- 1043. to that witch we do not mention.
- 1044. Come to bed.
- 1045. I need a smoke.
- 1046. - How'd you manage to give up?
- Deep inner strength.
- 1047. Why me?
- 1048. You could have chosen anyone. Why me?
- 1049. Because you cut off your crusts.
- 1050. And this.
- 1051. - When are you going to stop stripping?
- 1052. - You're addicted to it.
- No, I'm not.
- 1053. It paid for this.
- 1054. Tell me what happened.
- 1055. - Nothing happened.
- But he came to the club.
- 1056. Lots of men come to the club.
You came to the club.
- 1057. - The look on your face.
- The look on your face.
- 1058. What a face. What a wig.
- 1059. I saw this face...
- 1060. this vision...
- 1061. when you stepped into the road.
It was the moment of my life.
- 1062. - This is the moment of your life.
- You were perfect.
- 1063. I still am.
- 1064. On the way to the hospital...
- 1065. I kissed your forehead.
- 1066. You brute.
- 1067. The cabbie saw me kissing you.
He said, "Is she yours?"
- 1068. I said, "Yes, she's mine."
- 1069. She's mine.
- 1070. So he came to the club, watched you strip,
you had a little chat, and that was it?
- 1071. Yes.
- 1072. You're not trusting me.
- 1073. I'm in love with you. You're safe.
- 1074. You had every right. I just want to know.
- 1075. - Why?
- Because I want to know everything.
- 1076. Because I'm a lunatic.
- 1077. Tell me.
- 1078. Nothing happened.
- 1079. - You were living with someone else.
- What are you justifying?
- 1080. I'm not justifying anything. Just saying.
- 1081. - What are you saying?
- I'm not saying anything.
- 1082. I just want the truth.
- 1083. - Where are you going?
- 1084. Everywhere's closed.
- 1085. I'll go to the terminal.
- 1086. When I get back...
- 1087. please tell me the truth.
- 1088. - Why?
- Because I'm addicted to it.
- 1089. Because without it we're animals.
- 1090. Trust me.
- 1091. I don't love you anymore.
- 1092. Since when?
- 1093. Now.
- 1094. Just now.
- 1095. I don't want to lie...
- 1096. and I can't tell the truth...
- 1097. so it's over.
- 1098. It doesn't matter.
- 1099. - I love you. None of it matters.
- Too late.
- 1100. I don't love you anymore.
- 1101. Goodbye.
- 1102. Here's the truth...
- 1103. so now you can hate me.
- 1104. Larry fucked me all night.
- 1105. I enjoyed it.
- 1106. I came.
- 1107. I prefer you.
- 1108. Now go.
- 1109. I knew that.
- 1110. He told me.
- 1111. - You knew?
- I needed to hear it from you.
- 1112. - Why?
- Because he might have been lying.
- 1113. I had to hear it from you.
- 1114. I would never have told you,
because I know you'd never forgive me.
- 1115. I would. I have.
- 1116. - Why did he tell you?
- Because he's a bastard.
- 1117. - How could he?
- Because he wanted this to happen.
- 1118. - But why test me?
- Because I'm an idiot.
- 1119. Yes.
- 1120. I would have loved you...
- 1121. forever.
- 1122. - Now please go.
- Don't do this. Talk to me.
- 1123. I am talking. Fuck off.
- 1124. No, I'm sorry. You misunderstand.
I didn't mean to...
- 1125. Yes, you did.
- 1126. - I love you.
- 1127. - What?
- Show me.
- 1128. Where is this love?
- 1129. I can't see it. I can't touch it. I can't feel it.
- 1130. I can hear it. I can hear some words...
- 1131. but I can't do anything
with your easy words.
- 1132. Whatever you say, it's too late.
- 1133. - Please don't do this.
- It's done.
- 1134. Now please go, or I'll call security.
- 1135. You're not in a strip club.
There is no security.
- 1136. - Why did you fuck him?
- I wanted to.
- 1137. - Why?
- I desired him.
- 1138. - Why?
- You weren't there.
- 1139. - Why him?
- He asked me nicely.
- 1140. - You're a liar.
- 1141. - Who are you?
- I'm no one.
- 1142. Go on, hit me. That's what you want.
Hit me, fucker.
- 1143. - Welcome back, Miss Jones.
- Thank you.