1.  My name is Miloé Hrma.
People used to laugh at me, 
			  
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2.  since Hrma means 'mound of Venus'.
Still, our family was famous. 
			  
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3.  My great-grandfather Lukéé
was a drummer boy in 1848 
			  
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4.  and fought in the battle
on Charles Bridge in Prague. 
			  
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5.  The students threw
cobblestones at the soldiers 
			  
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6.  and broke Great-Grandpa's leg, 
			  
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7.  so he got a pension out of it.
One gulden per day. 
			  
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8.  From then on all he did
was buy a bottle of rum 
			  
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9.  and a pouch of tobacco every day. 
			  
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10.  We're so lucky 
			  
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11.  to have you in uniform, Miloé. 
			  
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12.  Another man in the family
has made something of himself. 
			  
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13.  My grandpa Vilém was a hypnotist. 
			  
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14.  Everyone in town
thought it was just a scheme 
			  
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15.  to bum his way through life. 
			  
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16.  Just be careful 
			  
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17.  you don't let the trains crash. 
			  
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18.  We'll be the envy of the town. 
			  
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19.  My father retired at age 48
as a locomotive engineer. 
			  
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20.  The populace is mad with envy,
since he's still healthy 
			  
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21.  and can live off his pension
for the next 20 or 30 years 
			  
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22.  without doing a thing. 
			  
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23.  From the moment
you step out on the platform 
			  
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24.  everyone is going to know 
			  
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25.  what a famous family we are. 
			  
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26.  My goodness, Miloé, look at you! 
			  
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27.  Every day Great-Grandpa Lukéé
took his pension 
			  
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28.  and bought a bottle of rum
and two pouches of tobacco. 
			  
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29.  But instead of staying home
he went out to where the workers 
			  
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30.  were slaving away
and gloated over them. 
			  
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31.  Every year Great-Grandpa Lukéé
would get beaten up. 
			  
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32.  In 1930 he showed off
in front of some stonecutters 
			  
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33.  whose quarry had just been closed,
and they beat him to death. 
			  
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34.  When the Germans crossed the borders
in March, headed for Prague, 
			  
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35.  Grandpa Vilem was the only one
who decided to resist them, 
			  
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36.  thinking he could stop the tanks
by power of suggestion. 
			  
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37.  Arms outstretched, eyes ablaze, 
			  
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38.  he sprayed them with thoughts like
"Turn around and go home". 
			  
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39.  The first tank actually stopped, and
the whole army came to a standstill, 
			  
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40.  but then it started up again
and my grandpa didn't move, 
			  
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41.  so the tank ran right over him
and took off his head. 
			  
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42.  Nothing stood in the way
of the Reich's army after that. 
			  
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43.  As for me, I completed my training
to be a railway dispatcher. 
			  
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44.  Everyone in town knows my only goal
is to keep up the family tradition 
			  
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45.  and do nothing except stand around
on the platform with a signal disc 
			  
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46.  while they spend their whole lives
working themselves to the bone. 
			  
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47.  Central Film Distributors of Prague
presents 
			  
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48.  Based on the novella
by BOHUMIL HRABAL 
			  
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49.  Screenplay
Script Editor 
			  
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50.  Music 
			  
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51.  Editing
Sound 
			  
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52.  Art Director
Production Designer 
			  
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53.  Costume Designer
Make-up 
			  
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54.  Assistant Director
Camera Assistant 
			  
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55.  Associate Producer
Technical Advisers 
			  
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56.  Starring 
			  
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57.  Filmed with the co-operation of
Czechoslovak State Railway personnel 
			  
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58.  at Lodénice railway station.
B. Cajthaml 
			  
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59.  Executive Producer 
			  
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60.  Director of Photography 
			  
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61.  Directed by 
			  
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62.  Barrandov Film Studios 
			  
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63.  That's right, boys!
Come here, my loves! 
			  
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64.  Come and get it!
Aren't you the wild one? 
			  
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65.  My winged little cutie-pies! 
			  
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66.  Come and get your grain, yum-yum!
Courtesy of the Countess. 
			  
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67.  Eat it all up now, boys. 
			  
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68.  Isn't that a tasty treat?
Have a little more. That's right. 
			  
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69.  Apprentice Miloé Hrma
reporting for duty, sir. 
			  
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70.  Welcome, Miloé. At ease. 
			  
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71.  Your dad was the best engineer
in our entire district. 
			  
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72.  He once threw his Stoker
off a moving train. 
			  
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73.  Come here, my little chiokie!
Look at you fly, my lovely pigeons. 
			  
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74.  Get your grain. That's right, boys. 
			  
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75.  Listen, son, it's just like a farm. 
			  
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76.  Gate opens, gate closes.
Otherwise it stays closed. 
			  
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77.  Arrivals, departures. 
			  
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78.  - Otherwise it stays closed.
- Right. 
			  
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79.  Then why do you have it open? 
			  
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80.  LVlr Novék, I honestly thought
you would level it out. 
			  
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81.  Doesn't that clock sound beautiful! 
			  
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82.  Hi, Milo§! 
			  
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83.  - Hi, Mééa!
- You're looking good. 
			  
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84.  You too, Mééa. 
			  
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85.  Hell of a girl. 
			  
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86.  What's she like? 
			  
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87.  Nice. 
			  
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88.  Oh sure, they're all nice. 
			  
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89.  But what else besides? 
			  
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90.  Stationmaster at your ser\/ice,
Madam Countess. 
			  
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91.  I'll need two cattle cars
for the slaughterhouse. 
			  
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92.  Fodder's running low.
I have to sell off some heifers. 
			  
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93.  Morals in our district are declining. 
			  
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94.  The church in Kostelni Lhota
has to be reconsecrated. 
			  
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95.  Fornication behind the altarpiece. 
			  
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96.  What a woman! 
			  
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97.  Look at those legs. 
			  
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98.  More like a dream than a woman. 
			  
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99.  If she leaned over me,
my whole world would go black. 
			  
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100.  One oar, but with good rings.
I also need to sell some bulls. 
			  
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101.  You aren't afraid, are you? 
			  
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102.  Me? Afraid of horses? 
			  
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103.  I served under Count Chotek
and Prince Silva el Tores. 
			  
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104.  Bon. Next time you come up
to the castle, 
			  
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105.  I'll send the stallion for you
instead of the carriage. 
			  
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106.  I had the most beautiful dream. 
			  
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107.  Woman is nature's jewel. 
			  
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108.  All the Countess
ever sends any more 
			  
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109.  is two crates of beer
and a bottle of booze. 
			  
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110.  I dreamed I was a trolley 
			  
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111.  and the Countess
took hold of my handles 
			  
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112.  and wheeled me into the storeroom. 
			  
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113.  You should've seen it before the war. 
			  
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114.  When the Count would come,
that was a sight to see. 
			  
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115.  They'd roll out a carpet
from the train to the platform. 
			  
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116.  All the pensioners would turn out
in uniform, everybody saluting, 
			  
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117.  and in the afternoon
he'd send a car down from the castle. 
			  
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118.  Liquor, beer, wine.
Gobs of food! Not like nowadays. 
			  
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119.  So how 'bout that girl of yours?
Let's hear it. 
			  
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120.  What's she like? 
			  
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121.  Doesn't that clock sound beautiful! 
			  
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122.  We'll loosen it up a bit here. 
			  
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123.  Being a railway inspector now
is like being a major in the army 
			  
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124.  - under the Austrian Empire.
- Exactly. 
			  
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125.  Don't forget this arm is shorter. 
			  
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126.  And the gold star with sequins,
hemmed with the gold braid, 
			  
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127.  has to be sewn on with gold thread. 
			  
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128.  Come in. 
			  
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129.  Sir, the cattle for the Countess,
are we loading that on track five? 
			  
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130.  Yes. 
			  
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131.  But one: Madam Countess. 
			  
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132.  Polish your shoes. 
			  
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133.  And three: No talking
to the conductor on the platform. 
			  
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134.  Don't forget who you are
and someday you'll be a dispatcher. 
			  
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135.  Make sure not to take after Hubiéka. 
			  
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136.  He's suspended
from promotion for 10 years. Why? 
			  
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137.  Him and his women. 
			  
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138.  You'd do better to take after me. 
			  
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139.  Good morning, friends. 
			  
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140.  The situation of our armies, 
			  
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141.  fighting for the welfare
of all the nations of Europe, 
			  
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142.  whether they like it or not, 
			  
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143.  is most favourable. 
			  
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144.  Here we've been forced
to pull back somewhat, 
			  
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145.  but here our armies have made
a tactical retreat from the Baltics. 
			  
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146.  Here we have a beautiful... 
			  
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147.  tactical withdrawal
from the Dnieper to the Danube. 
			  
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148.  Here a tactical retreat
from the Americans into Belgium. 
			  
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149.  And here a masterful
tactical manoeuvre in Italy. 
			  
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150.  But why? 
			  
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151.  Good question. Why? 
			  
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152.  Because we're luring
our enemies into a trap. 
			  
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153.  Don't you see? 
			  
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154.  Pay close attention. 
			  
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155.  Here we land at the enemy's rear. 
			  
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156.  Here we take the Russians
in the Caucasus from Turkey 
			  
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157.  and in Petrograd from Sweden. 
			  
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158.  Here we circumvent the enemy,
landing in Sicily, 
			  
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159.  and here again
at the Americans' rear in France. 
			  
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160.  Then we have them trapped
and close in from both sides. 
			  
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161.  Why? 
			  
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162.  So that we can all live happily. 
			  
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163.  That's why I've come today. 
			  
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164.  So you can sign this statement,
saying you understand 
			  
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165.  that if anyone at the station
neglects their duties 
			  
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166.  they will be sentenced to ten years. 
			  
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167.  In aggravated circumstances,
life, or even death. 
			  
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168.  That's all there is to it. 
			  
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169.  A few Czech chauvinists think 
			  
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170.  they can turn back
the tide of history, 
			  
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171.  but the FUhrer means everyone well,
including the Czechs, 
			  
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172.  and believes in a Providence
that will not forsake us. 
			  
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173.  Now where is that station stamp? 
			  
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174.  We must pay special attention
to closely observed trains. 
			  
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175.  Understood? 
			  
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176.  There. 
			  
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177.  Shouldn't I go and change into... 
			  
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178.  No, no, no, no, no.
Clothes are of no importance 
			  
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179.  in the battle for final victory. 
			  
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180.  Save the finery for peacetime. 
			  
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181.  - Why?
- Two pigs in a sty! 
			  
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182.  No, that's all right. He's young. 
			  
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183.  Why? For the sake of civilisation. 
			  
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184.  Why? 
			  
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185.  Because that's what
the Fflhrerwants. Now enough! 
			  
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186.  We're all in this together,
so we have to get along. 
			  
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187.  Is that clear? 
			  
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188.  Farewell, friends! 
			  
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189.  Hello. 
			  
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190.  So you're the dispatcher's cousin? 
			  
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191.  What lovely ears you have. 
			  
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192.  A pair of button earrings
would look beautiful on them. 
			  
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193.  Really? 
			  
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194.  Maybe you could arrange that for me. 
			  
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195.  Do you know any other funny stories? 
			  
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196.  Max, supper! 
			  
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197.  A butcher decided to smuggle
an udder out of the slaughterhouse, 
			  
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198.  so he put it in his trousers
to get it past the guard at the gate. 
			  
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199.  In his trousers? You're killing me. 
			  
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200.  So he takes the tram and the lady
sitting next to him looks at him 
			  
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201.  and says, "Sir, there's something
sticking out of your trousers." 
			  
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202.  So the man takes a knife,
cuts off the udder, 
			  
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203.  and says, "That's all right,
I've got three more." 
			  
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204.  - And the lady?
- She fainted. 
			  
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205.  These days we tell it
a little bit differently. 
			  
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206.  Everything's fine: 
			  
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207.  The butcher sneaks the udder out, 
			  
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208.  gets on the tram and takes a seat, 
			  
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209.  and the lady says, Sir,
you've got something sticking out... 
			  
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210.  And the butcher takes a knife... 
			  
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211.  - And Iops it off.
- The lady goes pale... 
			  
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212.  This time not the lady,
but the butcher, 
			  
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213.  who screams, 
			  
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214.  "Jesus Christ,
that was the real one!" 
			  
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215.  Sorry, but that makes the score
two-nil for my cousin. 
			  
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216.  - No, no, that actually happened.
- Really? 
			  
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217.  - Have a drink.
- Thank you. 
			  
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218.  A necklace would look lovely
hanging around your neck. 
			  
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219.  Max! it's getting cold. 
			  
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220.  I'm coming. 
			  
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221.  Or a little cross...
between two rascals. 
			  
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222.  Max! 
			  
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223.  I said I'm coming! 
			  
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224.  If you don't come this minute,
I'm not going to warm it up for you. 
			  
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225.  I have to go back down. 
			  
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226.  I need to finish up
a report for headquarters. 
			  
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227.  I'm making a sweater for the Countess. 
			  
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228.  Who's that laughing down there? 
			  
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229.  The dispatcher's cousin. 
			  
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230.  The moral decline is appalling. 
			  
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231.  The Countess told me 
			  
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232.  they're going to have to reconsecrate
the church in Kostelni Lhota. 
			  
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233.  That's what happens
when there's no authority. 
			  
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234.  Mr. Hubiéka... 
			  
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235.  I'm not sure how to put this, 
			  
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236.  but have you always been as smooth
with the women as you are now? 
			  
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237.  Oh, God, no.
I used to have two left feet. 
			  
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238.  - How much longer?
- Two hours or so. 
			  
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239.  Nothing's sacred to that guy. 
			  
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240.  It's appalling. 
			  
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241.  Was the soup too salty tonight? 
			  
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242.  No. 
			  
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243.  But the Church these days
stands on feet of clay. 
			  
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244.  I could do the rabbit breaded
and baked. What do you think? 
			  
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245.  If you knock it down,
you'll go down with it! 
			  
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246.  We'd be better off if God
blew his horn for the Last Judgment 
			  
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247.  and just put an end to it all.
Armageddon! 
			  
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248.  Armageddon. 
			  
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249.  Sodom and Gomorrah. A moral swamp! 
			  
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250.  Miloé, it's intermission time. 
			  
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251.  Just a freight train or two
passing through. 
			  
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252.  I'm leaving it up to you,
so don't let me down. 
			  
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253.  I'll keep my ears open, just in case. 
			  
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254.  The curse of an erotic century!
Armageddon! 
			  
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255.  Pornographers
should be put in the dock! 
			  
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256.  Down with the monstrous
fantasies of today's youth! 
			  
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257.  I can still hear you, Miloé.
Good work. 
			  
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258.  But you forgot the telegraph. 
			  
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259.  Write that down. 
			  
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260.  - Hi, Miloé",
- Hi. 
			  
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261.  I'm just getting off,
so I thought I'd stop by. 
			  
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262.  I should go. 
			  
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263.  Mé§a? 
			  
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264.  I have to go. 
			  
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265.  They tore the sofa! 
			  
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266.  My official Austrian sofa. 
			  
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267.  Ripped wide open! 
			  
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268.  All he sees in the sky
are his own sick thoughts. 
			  
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269.  Phooey! 
			  
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270.  The dirty bastard.
If only you could see it on him! 
			  
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271.  Let him do his whoring
in the waiting room 
			  
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272.  and stay off my sofa,
God damn it! 
			  
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273.  wonderful... 
			  
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274.  I'll show you wonderful! 
			  
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275.  Morning, boys.
Everything fine? Station in shape? 
			  
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276.  Fun and games are all very well, 
			  
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277.  but duty first! Understood? 
			  
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278.  Fun and games, fun and games. 
			  
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279.  So... 
			  
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280.  How's that girl of yours? 
			  
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281.  Nice. 
			  
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282.  Wait! 
			  
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283.  Wait! Besides that, though. 
			  
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284.  How is she in bed? 
			  
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285.  That train with the nurses
will have to stay put for now. 
			  
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286.  There's no engine in the shed. 
			  
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287.  Nurses.
Sluts of mercy is more like it. 
			  
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288.  It's terrible
how the Germans treat their cattle. 
			  
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289.  Half of 'em dead. Eyes full of pus. 
			  
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290.  I saw a cow with a dead calf
hanging out of its arse, rotting. 
			  
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291.  - Germans are pigs.
- Those cattle can tell. 
			  
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292.  We were loading a bull on.
He put up a fight. 
			  
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293.  Thought he was going to
kick the sides out. 
			  
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294.  So I took a knife
and gouged out his eyes. 
			  
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295.  Bull was quiet as a lamb. 
			  
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296.  I saw carloads of starving sheep 
			  
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297.  eating the fleece off each other. 
			  
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298.  Germans are pigs. 
			  
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299.  Good evening. Is this Milovice? 
			  
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300.  No, no. This is Kostomlaty. 
			  
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301.  How far is it to Milovice? 
			  
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302.  Five kilometres. 
			  
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303.  - Straight this way.
- Thank you! Let's go. 
			  
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304.  Milo§! 
			  
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305.  I'm off now. Let's go to my uncle's. 
			  
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306.  All right,
but I'm not off till tonight. 
			  
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307.  So come by tonight.
We'll sleep over! 
			  
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308.  Closer, that's it,
and a nice kiss, that's it. 
			  
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309.  Beautiful! 
			  
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310.  Now give me a nice smile
and look right here, please. 
			  
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311.  Hold it, one second, that's it. 
			  
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312.  Now wave, and all set.
Thank you very much. 
			  
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313.  Next, please. Next! 
			  
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314.  Move the leg a bit. 
			  
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315.  That's fine. 
			  
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316.  Straighten the back. Yes, that's it. 
			  
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317.  Watch it. That tail is fragile. 
			  
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318.  Let's have a nice smile now, yes? 
			  
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319.  Smile and chest out. 
			  
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320.  That's it. Thank you. 
			  
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321.  Right this way. Next one, please. 
			  
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322.  You too. Watch your step. 
			  
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323.  We don't want any broken legs. 
			  
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324.  Go right ahead and I'll set it up.
All the way to the end, please. 
			  
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325.  Watch the head. Good, that's it. 
			  
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326.  Just a touch with the hair,
put the purse away, 
			  
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327.  and show me those pretty little teeth. 
			  
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328.  Nice, nice. 
			  
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329.  Now let's get it focused. 
			  
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330.  Quiet down, please. Don't move. 
			  
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331.  A little smile
from the girl in the green. 
			  
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332.  Yes, you, miss, if you'd be so kind. 
			  
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333.  Uncle! 
			  
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334.  Come on, Miloé. 
			  
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335.  The one in purple
a bit to the right. Yes, that's it. 
			  
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336.  That'll be all then. Thank you. 
			  
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337.  Now I know why your mum didn't
want you to work with your uncle. 
			  
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338.  He's a Iech, but he's all right. 
			  
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339.  Quiet. 
			  
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340.  - What if he comes in?
- So what? Come on. 
			  
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341.  Wait, he can hear everything. 
			  
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342.  So what? 
			  
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343.  READY IN 5 MINUTES 
			  
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344.  - Where's the girl?
- What for? 
			  
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345.  You really don't have a girl? 
			  
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346.  - No.
- Do you want one? 
			  
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347.  You've got one hour. 
			  
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348.  Jesus Christ! 
			  
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349.  IF IT GRABS YOU,
YOU'RE DEAD! 
			  
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350.  Keep asking for it and you're
going to get it on your behind! 
			  
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351.  Eleven, 
			  
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352.  twelve... 
			  
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353.  I told you you were going
to get it on your behind. 
			  
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354.  Jesus Christ. 
			  
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355.  So, you see, doctor,
I'm not a real man 
			  
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356.  and I don't want to be. 
			  
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357.  Everything in life is so hard for me 
			  
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358.  and for everyone else
it's like child's play. 
			  
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359.  Basically, 
			  
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360.  when it came down to it,
I wilted like a lily. 
			  
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361.  You're healthy as an ox.
Maybe too healthy. 
			  
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362.  When a young man's too healthy 
			  
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363.  he can suffer from
premature ejaculation. 
			  
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364.  I had it too. It's just nerves. 
			  
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365.  You're overly sensitive. 
			  
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366.  These are natural, normal things. 
			  
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367.  You need to be
matter-of-fact about it. 
			  
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368.  Good morning, Inspector. 
			  
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369.  Look how my girl came home from work
last night. Show him your behind. 
			  
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370.  I want to file a complaint. 
			  
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371.  Look at this. 
			  
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372.  Hubiéka did that to her, on duty. 
			  
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373.  Just look. Can you believe it? 
			  
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374.  Stupid girl! I ought to smack you one
for letting him do this to you. 
			  
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375.  I want to file a complaint.
I won't stand for it. 
			  
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376.  Look! 
			  
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377.  That ink is made by Pelikén.
It won't wash off for a week. 
			  
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378.  Don't worry, ma'am.
We'll take it to district court. 
			  
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379.  Don't think about it too much. 
			  
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380.  Try to think of something else. 
			  
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381.  Like football. 
			  
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382.  Think about football. 
			  
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383.  And find an older, experienced woman
who can teach you the right technique 
			  
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384.  when it comes to love. 
			  
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385.  So I took her by the neck,
gave her a little squeeze, 
			  
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386.  and she didn't make another peep. 
			  
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387.  I wasn't trying to kill it.
I don't normally steal geese. 
			  
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388.  Then the neighbour came... 
			  
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389.  Look at this, Your Honour.
Look how my girl came home from work. 
			  
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390.  She's the telegraph operator
at the same station 
			  
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391.  where Milos Hrma slit his wrists. 
			  
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392.  And this is how she comes home:
rear end covered in rubber stamps. 
			  
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393.  Look at that. 
			  
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394.  - Nice, eh?
- I've never seen anything like it. 
			  
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395.  I suppose it's some new kind of
party game. Isn't that right, Miss? 
			  
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396.  A friendly little frolic? 
			  
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397.  Yes. 
			  
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398.  He ought to be locked up,
that's what he deserves. 
			  
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399.  Well, ma'am, that isn't
for the court to decide. 
			  
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400.  You can submit a complaint
to the railway company. 
			  
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401.  This is a matter
for the disciplinary commission. 
			  
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402.  Jesus Christ, look at that. 
			  
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403.  Tell me this isn't a criminal case. 
			  
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404.  Just look at that! 
			  
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405.  How do you do? I'm Miloé Hrma from... 
			  
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406.  Out! 
			  
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407.  Trainee Miloé Hrma
from Kostomlaty station reporting. 
			  
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408.  All right, young man. 
			  
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409.  I'm sorry I yelled,
but you have to report correctly. 
			  
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410.  What is this? 
			  
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411.  Premature ejaculation,
Dr. Brabec said. 
			  
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412.  A fine mess. 
			  
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413.  My dear boy... 
			  
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414.  Look here. Teenagers barely out of
the Hitler Youth 
			  
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415.  are fighting for a new Europe, 
			  
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416.  a better future. 
			  
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417.  And what is your family
doing for Europe? 
			  
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418.  Your father lies around on the sofa 
			  
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419.  when he could be serving the Reich. 
			  
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420.  Your grandfather tried to hypnotise
the tanks we sent to liberate Prague. 
			  
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421.  Germany's youth
bleeds on the battlefield 
			  
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422.  while Miloé Hrma
bleeds into a brothel's bathtub. 
			  
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423.  But I'll straighten you out. 
			  
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424.  Do you realise I can have you
charged with self-mutilation 
			  
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425.  with intent to avoid service
in defence of the Reich? 
			  
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426.  It could also be seen as sabotage. 
			  
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427.  So what'll it be?
What should I put in my report? 
			  
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428.  With your permission... 
			  
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429.  You think I'm here
to help you find prostitutes? 
			  
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430.  - I have other things to do.
- But I... 
			  
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431.  Out! 
			  
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432.  Welcome, Miloé. Welcome. 
			  
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433.  Thanks a lot for making
our little station so famous. 
			  
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434.  You're skinning me alive... like that! 
			  
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435.  Miloé, tell me. 
			  
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436.  Vvhathappened? 
			  
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437.  Let's see. 
			  
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438.  Dr. Brabec said I should find
an older woman to train me. 
			  
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439.  I thought you might know someone. 
			  
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440.  I'm sorry, Miloé.
You're on your own. 
			  
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441.  What about your wife? 
			  
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442.  Now hold on there.
My wife is mine! 
			  
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443.  I just thought maybe
she could give me some advice. 
			  
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444.  I bet. It starts with advice
and ends up with rubber stamps! 
			  
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445.  Dr. Brabec told me
to find an easy woman. 
			  
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446.  Do you know one who could train me? 
			  
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447.  In what? 
			  
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448.  Easy, eh? 
			  
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449.  They're all easy at some point. 
			  
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450.  But it has to happen naturally.
You can't just ask like that. 
			  
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451.  That would scare off even a bar girl. 
			  
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452.  - Don't you have a sister?
- Miloé... 
			  
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453.  I know. 
			  
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454.  That's something
you two will never understand! 
			  
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455.  Reverend, sir,
there's something I'd like to confess. 
			  
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456.  Come by the rectory.
The Church can solve any problem. 
			  
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457.  Everything will be fine.
You just have to believe! 
			  
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458.  The Church has been doing
psychoanalysis for 600 years! 
			  
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459.  It's just a question of whether we can
find a willing teacher. Don't worry. 
			  
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460.  I'll tell her it's her duty
as a Christian. 
			  
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461.  So how goes it, Mr. Knife?
Still painting? 
			  
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462.  Still painting. 
			  
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463.  So what are you painting now? 
			  
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464.  I'm painting the sea, from a postcard. 
			  
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465.  I fasten the board in my vice,
and pin the postcard to my workbench. 
			  
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466.  But I think
I've got arthritis or something. 
			  
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467.  I just can't get the waves right,
the roll of the surf. 
			  
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468.  Here's what you need to do. 
			  
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469.  Clamp the postcard in
next to the painting, right? 
			  
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470.  Then take the brush 
			  
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471.  and go like this over the waves. 
			  
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472.  Over the surf, like this. 
			  
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473.  Till you feel the roll in your hand. 
			  
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474.  Then do it bigger and bigger 
			  
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475.  till you get it right, and just
brush it right onto the cardboard. 
			  
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476.  That's genius. 
			  
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477.  So what's up? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
478.  Last night some partisans
blew up a closely observed train. 
			  
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479.  Right into the gully,
along with the bridge. 
			  
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480.  The main track's blocked now,
so all the trains to the front 
			  
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481.  have to pass through here. 
			  
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482.  Tomorrow morning
there'll be an ammunition train. 
			  
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483.  You'll get everything on time.
The code word is Viktoria Freie. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
484.  I never would've thought of that,
the sway of the sea. 
			  
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485.  Run, run! 
			  
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486.  An SS train! 
			  
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487.  The partisans took up the rails
and threw them in the woods! 
			  
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488.  Run! 
			  
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489.  Run! 
			  
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490.  Now the Germans are putting them
back. They'll be here any minute! 
			  
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491.  They sprayed the station with bullets! 
			  
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492.  I'll send a report.
Everyone take cover! 
			  
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493.  This is no joke any more. 
			  
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494.  That could've been me.
I owe you for life. 
			  
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495.  Come here. 
			  
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496.  Listen, Miloé. 
			  
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497.  A freight train is going to come
through our station tomorrow. 
			  
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498.  What about it? 
			  
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499.  We're going to blow it up. 
			  
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500.  All right, but how? 
			  
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501.  Don't worry. We'll have
everything in plenty of time. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
502.  Twenty-eight freight cars
loaded with ammunition, 
			  
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503.  blowing sky-high
right outside our door. 
			  
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504.  So now we have our own
closely observed train to watch. 
			  
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505.  The best would be to toss it
into the middle car from the platform. 
			  
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506.  But then they might see us. 
			  
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507.  Look. 
			  
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508.  You'll slow it down. 
			  
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509.  When it comes to the signal,
bring it almost to a stop. 
			  
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510.  Then give it the go-ahead. 
			  
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511.  - What time does the Countess dine?
- Half past eight, sir. 
			  
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512.  Thank you. 
			  
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513.  I always like to try
a horse from both sides. 
			  
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514.  Milo§! 
			  
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515.  I'm not angry anymore. I understand. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
516.  When can you come again? 
			  
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517.  Tomorrow? 
			  
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518.  - Maybe the day after tomorrow.
- OK, see you then! 
			  
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519.  Don't worry, ma'am. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
520.  It's just me, Miloé. 
			  
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521.  What is it? 
			  
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522.  Well, you see, ma'am... 
			  
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523.  Have a seat. 
			  
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524.  The reason I came is... 
			  
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525.  The day after tomorrow
I'm going to see my girlfriend. 
			  
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526.  You know, the conductor? 
			  
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527.  And I'm sure she's going to want to... 
			  
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528.  you know what. 
			  
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529.  No. 
			  
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530.  Of course you do.
Don't act like you don't. 
			  
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531.  The thing is, I'm a man. 
			  
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532.  But as soon as I have to prove it, 
			  
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533.  then I'm not any more. 
			  
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534.  Dr. Brabec said I suffer
from premature ejaculation. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
535.  So I came to see you. 
			  
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536.  Miloé, please. 
			  
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537.  For instance, I'm a man right now. 
			  
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538.  - Are you angry with me?
- No. 
			  
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539.  You won't tell
the stationmaster, will you? 
			  
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540.  No. 
			  
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541.  Promise you're not angry? 
			  
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542.  So Dr. Otto GFUDGF in Vienna says 
			  
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543.  potatoes contain a variety
of substances harmful to health. 
			  
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544.  That's interesting. 
			  
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545.  My name is Viktoria Freie. 
			  
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546.  Twenty-eight oarloads of ammunition
will pass through tomorrow morning. 
			  
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547.  Wow! 
			  
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548.  Careful. 
			  
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549.  Is there somewhere here
I can take a nap? 
			  
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550.  You wouldn't leave me here
all alone, would you? 
			  
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551.  No, but I'm on duty. 
			  
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552.  I'll go and ask. 
			  
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553.  Sit down. 
			  
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554.  My name is Viktoria Freie. 
			  
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555.  So you're German? 
			  
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556.  - What do you do?
- I'm a circus performer. 
			  
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557.  We had a lively show of aerial
acrobatics before the war. 
			  
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558.  - And you?
- My name is Miloé Hrma. 
			  
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559.  I slit my wrists because they said
I suffer from premature ejaculation. 
			  
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560.  Actually I wilted like a lily,
but I really am a man. 
			  
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561.  What are you thinking about right now? 
			  
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562.  Football. 
			  
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563.  Dr. Brabeo told me
to think about football. 
			  
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564.  Our team has a big
qualification match coming up. 
			  
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565.  Turn out the light. 
			  
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566.  Would you, please? 
			  
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567.  So you've never had a girl before? 
			  
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568.  Really, never? 
			  
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569.  It should be here in half an hour. 
			  
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570.  This is how you set it. 
			  
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571.  - Are you scared?
- No. 
			  
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572.  I've never been
as calm as I am today. 
			  
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573.  I out all ties with my past.
Just like that. 
			  
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574.  Here at least I can relax. 
			  
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575.  Sofa torn twice now. 
			  
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576.  Even animals behave better. 
			  
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577.  There now... 
			  
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578.  My little chickies... 
			  
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579.  It'll be here in seven minutes. 
			  
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580.  Who's that in the draisine? 
			  
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581.  Probably the track inspector. 
			  
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582.  The disciplinary commission
hereby opens proceedings 
			  
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583.  against dispatcher Ladislav Hubiéka. 
			  
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584.  Where is the stationmaster? 
			  
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585.  Here! 
			  
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586.  Stationmaster reporting. 
			  
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587.  That will do. 
			  
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588.  My new uniform is upstairs. 
			  
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589.  So you were hoping to be an inspector? 
			  
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590.  Yes. 
			  
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591.  Wouldn't you rather breed geese? 
			  
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592.  No. 
			  
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593.  I can go and change.
I've got a new uniform upstairs. 
			  
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594.  - You take the minutes.
- Yes, sir. 
			  
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595.  Pay close attention. 
			  
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596.  The situation of our armies, 
			  
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597.  fighting for the welfare
of all the nations of Europe, 
			  
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598.  is most favourable. 
			  
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599.  Zdenka Svaté, is this your behind? 
			  
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600.  Yes. 
			  
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601.  Who put those stamps on you? 
			  
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602.  Mr. Hubiéka. 
			  
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603.  Describe for us how it happened. 
			  
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604.  We were on night shift together
and I was reading. 
			  
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605.  There were no trains
and we were bored. 
			  
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606.  So Mr. Hubiéka said,
"Let's play a game. 
			  
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607.  "Everything I name that flies, 
			  
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608.  "you flap your arms like wings. 
			  
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609.  "And if you're wrong,
you take something off." 
			  
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610.  A crow flies, 
			  
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611.  a child flies, 
			  
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612.  time flies, 
			  
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613.  trains fly, 
			  
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614.  a soldier flies, 
			  
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615.  seconds fly, 
			  
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616.  death flies, 
			  
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617.  everything flies... 
			  
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618.  Milo§, hi! 
			  
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619.  Hi, just a minute. I'll be right back. 
			  
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620.  I kept losing. 
			  
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621.  First my shoes, 
			  
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622.  then my stockings, 
			  
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623.  then my blouse, my slip, 
			  
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624.  and finally my knickers. 
			  
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625.  Yes. And who took them off? 
			  
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626.  Mr. Hubiéka. 
			  
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627.  Now, listen carefully, Zdenka. 
			  
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628.  Before he laid you down on the desk, 
			  
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629.  did he use any force? 
			  
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630.  Did he threaten you, or use violence? 
			  
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631.  Not at all. 
			  
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632.  I laid down myself. 
			  
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633.  I wanted to see what would happen. 
			  
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634.  "... see what would happen." 
			  
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635.  He didn't use any threats at all? 
			  
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636.  No force or violence? 
			  
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637.  No. 
			  
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638.  Well, then, 
			  
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639.  it isn't infringement
of personal freedom. 
			  
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640.  But it is defamation 
			  
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641.  and denigration
of the German language. 
			  
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642.  The noblest blood in Europe
is going to the front to fight 
			  
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643.  for peace on your behalf. 
			  
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644.  Putting their lives
- and blood - on the line. 
			  
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645.  And how do you show
your thanks to the Reich? 
			  
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646.  One puts stamps
all over the telegraphist's behind, 
			  
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647.  and the other one slits
his wrists over some girl. 
			  
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648.  You know what Czechs are?
Grinning beasts. 
			  
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649.  Max... 
			  
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650.  Lnspector's garden shot to hell. 
			  
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651.  THE END 
			  
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