1. We should get moving. Got a big day.Copy !req
2. Okay.Copy !req
3. Sunday after Thanksgiving,
the busiest travel day of the year.Copy !req
4. Can you remind me again, Blair,
why you're traveling today?Copy !req
5. The year will fly by.
I'll be home next Christmas.Copy !req
6. - I love you, Mommy.
- Sweetheart.Copy !req
7. Enough of this. She's going to be fine.Copy !req
8. Daddy.Copy !req
9. I love you.Copy !req
10. Bye, honey.Copy !req
11. Love you.Copy !req
12. I love you.Copy !req
13. Think she'll be okay?Copy !req
14. - She'll be better than okay.
- I meant in Peru. In the jungle.Copy !req
15. Please stop worrying about this, okay?Copy !req
16. The Peace Corps is not going to send her
someplace that's dangerous.Copy !req
17. Just won't be the same.Copy !req
18. What won't?Copy !req
19. Christmas.Copy !req
20. Did I tell you I'm doing dessert
for the art lunch tomorrow...Copy !req
21. and I need a couple things from Chip's.
Here's a spot. Right there.Copy !req
22. I need white chocolate and pistachios.Copy !req
23. - I didn't bring the umbrella.
- I need that stuff from Chip's.Copy !req
24. I didn't bring the umbrella.Copy !req
25. - Well, I still need it.
- It's gonna have to wait.Copy !req
26. - Look, you stay in the car, and I'll get a—
- I'll go.Copy !req
27. Look, it's just sprinkling.Copy !req
28. Listen, don't forget:
Dixon's white chocolate, one-pound bar...Copy !req
29. and March Brothers pistachios.Copy !req
30. Okay.Copy !req
31. You could use an umbrella!Copy !req
32. I just need some white chocolate.Copy !req
33. What's the matter?Copy !req
34. I just talked to Blair.
She called from the plane.Copy !req
35. She called from the airplane?Copy !req
36. Do you have any idea
how much it costs to call from an airplane?Copy !req
37. - How is she?
- She's fine. She misses us.Copy !req
38. - I'm standing over there. I can't—
- What? You didn't get the white chocolate.Copy !req
39. They didn't have any.Copy !req
40. Did you talk to Rex?Copy !req
41. - Who's Rex?
- The butcher.Copy !req
42. As odd as it sounds, I didn't think of asking
the butcher where the chocolate was.Copy !req
43. - But I will.
- Thank you.Copy !req
44. I'll go talk to Rex right now.
Maybe he'll wonder why I'm all wet.Copy !req
45. You sure you don't need a—Copy !req
46. - Buddy, can I get one of those?
- Sure. Thanks.Copy !req
47. I really think you need an umbrella!Copy !req
48. No! You know why I don't want one
of your stupid umbrellas? Because l—Copy !req
49. Because I couldn't get any wetter!Copy !req
50. Morning, Luther.Copy !req
51. Hi, Mr. Krank.Copy !req
52. Morning, Mr. Krank.Copy !req
53. It'll be so different this Christmas,
won't it, Luther?Copy !req
54. Yes, it will be so different.Copy !req
55. Nothing will be the same.Copy !req
56. For the first time in 23 years,
Blair won't be here.Copy !req
57. Might even get depressing.Copy !req
58. Lot of depression at Christmas, you know?Copy !req
59. Yeah, well...Copy !req
60. I would just love to forget about it.Copy !req
61. What are you looking at?Copy !req
62. Why are you looking at me like that?Copy !req
63. Finish your pasta.Copy !req
64. I'm finished with my pasta.
It's you I'm not finished with.Copy !req
65. I'll be right back.Copy !req
66. - You wait right there.
- Okay.Copy !req
67. Luther?Copy !req
68. What are you doing?
It's not even Saturday night.Copy !req
69. - I have an idea.
- Yeah?Copy !req
70. A brilliant idea.Copy !req
71. Make sure you shut the curtains.Copy !req
72. All right.Copy !req
73. Come over here. Turn around.Copy !req
74. What are you doing? Sit down.Copy !req
75. Button up and sit down.Copy !req
76. Look at this.Copy !req
77. This is a little ledger
of what we spent last year for Christmas.Copy !req
78. Look at some of this stuff.
What is this, $63 for ornament repair?Copy !req
79. You got to be kidding me. Look at the total.Copy !req
80. We spent $6,100 on Christmas last year.Copy !req
81. $6,100 on—Copy !req
82. I heard you the first time.Copy !req
83. - With precious little to show for it.
- Where is this going?Copy !req
84. The Caribbean.Copy !req
85. A 10-day luxury cruise on The Jubilee.Copy !req
86. The most luxurious ship in their fleet.Copy !req
87. Cayman Islands.Copy !req
88. Snorkeling. We go to Jamaica.Copy !req
89. We windsurf, whatever the heck that is.
Look at the picture here.Copy !req
90. The Bahamas. We sit in the sun.
10 days, luxury cruise, you and me.Copy !req
91. - I might have to lose a little weight.
- Heck, I'll lose it for you.Copy !req
92. What's the catch?Copy !req
93. I wouldn't call it a catch.Copy !req
94. We skip Christmas.Copy !req
95. We skip Christmas?Copy !req
96. We skip Christmas, save the money,
and spend it on us for a change.Copy !req
97. I don't know.Copy !req
98. Come on, please.
You and I go bask in the Caribbean sun.Copy !req
99. - How much is this gonna cost?
- $3,000.Copy !req
100. - We save money?
- Absolutely.Copy !req
101. We can still give our charitable donations...Copy !req
102. to Children's Hospital
and, of course, the church.Copy !req
103. No, this is a total boycott, honey. Total.Copy !req
104. It's $600.Copy !req
105. It's a total boycott.Copy !req
106. I'm afraid that's all I'm gonna say about that.Copy !req
107. Well, then, no.Copy !req
108. What a stupid idea.Copy !req
109. You're gonna let a lousy $600
stand between us and a Caribbean cruise.Copy !req
110. No. You are.Copy !req
111. All right, look.Copy !req
112. I'll match last year's contribution
to the church and to the hospital...Copy !req
113. but not a penny more.Copy !req
114. - When do we leave?
- High noon, Christmas day.Copy !req
115. It's not even Saturday night.Copy !req
116. I will not be celebrating Christmas this year.Copy !req
117. As many of you know, Blair has joined...Copy !req
118. the Peace Corps.Copy !req
119. So Nora and I have decided to avoid
the rituals of Christmas...Copy !req
120. save our money, and take a cruise.Copy !req
121. Therefore, I will not be participating
in the usual holiday rituals.Copy !req
122. I will buy no gifts and accept none.
Thank you, anyway.Copy !req
123. I will not attend
the firm's black-tie Christmas dinner...Copy !req
124. nor will I be here for the office party.Copy !req
125. I am not angry and I will not yell...Copy !req
126. "humbug" at anyone who offers me
a holiday greeting.Copy !req
127. I am simply skipping Christmas.Copy !req
128. - Hello, Mrs. Krank.
- Hello, Aubie, how are you?Copy !req
129. I'm just a little worried
about your Christmas cards.Copy !req
130. Why are you worried?Copy !req
131. You always select the most beautiful cards.
You really should put your order in.Copy !req
132. We're not gonna be ordering
Christmas cards this year.Copy !req
133. - Do what?
- You heard me.Copy !req
134. May I ask why not?Copy !req
135. You know, I'm really quite late for lunch.
Bye-bye. Say hi to your mom.Copy !req
136. But we always have
a live band at the auction.Copy !req
137. Yeah, but last year, the band cost $15,000.Copy !req
138. We hired a deejay for the Cancer Ball.Copy !req
139. Ladies.Copy !req
140. - Hi, Aubie.
- Hello.Copy !req
141. Mrs. Krank, we forgot to talk about
your Christmas invitations.Copy !req
142. We won't be needing those, either.Copy !req
143. - No party?
- No Christmas Eve party?Copy !req
144. No party this year.Copy !req
145. She's not ordering Christmas cards either.Copy !req
146. What's up?Copy !req
147. We're...Copy !req
148. taking a break.Copy !req
149. We're not gonna do Christmas this year.Copy !req
150. - How do you simply not do Christmas?
- You skip it.Copy !req
151. But then what do we do Christmas Eve?Copy !req
152. You'll think of something.
There are plenty of other parties.Copy !req
153. But none like yours.Copy !req
154. That's sweet.Copy !req
155. - When do you leave?
- Christmas day.Copy !req
156. That's an odd time to travel.Copy !req
157. Apparently, not that many people travel
on December 25th...Copy !req
158. and so Luther got us a great deal.Copy !req
159. Then why don't you have the party anyway?Copy !req
160. Because we don't want to, Merry.
We're taking a break.Copy !req
161. One year off, no Christmas whatsoever.Copy !req
162. - What do we do?
- I don't know.Copy !req
163. Mr. Krank, I'm Randy Scanlon.Copy !req
164. We're selling Christmas trees again
this year.Copy !req
165. Got yours right here.Copy !req
166. You got a Canadian blue spruce last year.Copy !req
167. This one's a real beauty. Almost 10 feet tall.Copy !req
168. Mrs. Krank likes the big ones.Copy !req
169. Aren't they cute?Copy !req
170. - How much is the big one?
- $90. We had to go up a little.Copy !req
171. We're not buying a Christmas tree this year.Copy !req
172. - Luther.
- We talked about this.Copy !req
173. Sorry we had to go up on the price.Copy !req
174. We're making less per tree than last year.Copy !req
175. It's not about the money.
We're not doing Christmas this year.Copy !req
176. We're gonna go away on a cruise.Copy !req
177. We don't need a tree.Copy !req
178. All right. Well, out of the frying pan...Copy !req
179. and into the fire.Copy !req
180. Luther.Copy !req
181. - What?
- Come here.Copy !req
182. - Why?
- Come here.Copy !req
183. - What are they doing?
- Who?Copy !req
184. - Spilling their guts to Frohmeyer.
- Not Frohmeyer.Copy !req
185. Are you intimidated by Vic Frohmeyer?Copy !req
186. Honey, he's like the unelected ward boss
of the street.Copy !req
187. So Frohmeyer has a problem
with our skipping Christmas?Copy !req
188. Who's he gonna call?Copy !req
189. The Three Wise Men? Santa Claus?Copy !req
190. Don't underestimate him, honey.Copy !req
191. Vic Frohmeyer lives and breathes
for this neighborhood.Copy !req
192. - You should've just bought the tree.
- No.Copy !req
193. - You didn't have to put it up.
- No.Copy !req
194. - You could've left it in the backyard.
- Quiet.Copy !req
195. Why are you whispering? This is our house.Copy !req
196. I'm whispering for the same reason
you're hiding behind that curtain.Copy !req
197. Hey, Walt.Copy !req
198. Luther Krank just stiffed the Scouts
on a Christmas tree.Copy !req
199. Can you believe that, Mr. Frohmeyer?Copy !req
200. Do not put it up there.
I want them on the back of the house.Copy !req
201. Move it to the right. The other right.Copy !req
202. - Becker's at it again.
- Evening, Vic.Copy !req
203. Everybody's going to really miss Blair
this year.Copy !req
204. The whole block's talking about it.
How is she doing?Copy !req
205. She's doing just fine. Thanks for asking.Copy !req
206. How's your family?Copy !req
207. In great spirits.
We're putting up decorations tonight.Copy !req
208. Wind it tight, Spike!Copy !req
209. - Hi, Dad!
- Looks good, Mama!Copy !req
210. It's the greatest time of year,
don't you think?Copy !req
211. I couldn't be happier.Copy !req
212. It's not gonna be the same
without Blair here.Copy !req
213. Of course not.Copy !req
214. Honey, are you okay?Copy !req
215. - Come here. Honey!
- Give me a hand.Copy !req
216. There are certain things around here
that I'm gonna miss at Christmas.Copy !req
217. So you're...Copy !req
218. really skipping out?Copy !req
219. You got it.Copy !req
220. Somehow, it just doesn't seem right.Copy !req
221. That's really not up to you to decide, is it?Copy !req
222. But I got to tell you,
the neighbors are pretty upset.Copy !req
223. Really?Copy !req
224. Christmas has always been a neighborhood
thing around here. You know that.Copy !req
225. Everybody decorates.
Everybody bakes cookies, and swaps gifts.Copy !req
226. I guess we do it for the kids.Copy !req
227. If you're trying to make me feel guilty,
get off of it.Copy !req
228. And you know what else?
I'd appreciate it if you...Copy !req
229. and everyone else around here
would just respect my wishes.Copy !req
230. Whatever you say, Luther.Copy !req
231. Weather should be clear tomorrow.Copy !req
232. Perfect time to put up Frosty.Copy !req
233. Frosty?Copy !req
234. Tell you what, truth is, if I'm gone, I'm...Copy !req
235. Vic?Copy !req
236. Frosty is a Christmas tradition.Copy !req
237. Frosty is a Christmas decoration.Copy !req
238. I will not be told by Vic Frohmeyer that
I have to decorate my house for Christmas.Copy !req
239. Why won't you put up Frosty?Copy !req
240. It's the principle thing. Do you understand?Copy !req
241. We can forget about Christmas
if we damn well choose.Copy !req
242. And nobody,
not even Vic Frohmeyer, can stop us.Copy !req
243. I will not be forced into doing this.Copy !req
244. Have a good day.Copy !req
245. Hi, Nora.Copy !req
246. - Morning, Bev. Hi, Walt.
- Hey, Nora!Copy !req
247. It was an accident.Copy !req
248. Walt, why don't you put
that cat of yours on a leash?Copy !req
249. Only dogs wear leashes, old man.Copy !req
250. Think you can run away from Christmas?Copy !req
251. - I'm trying to.
- Guess it's a good way to save money.Copy !req
252. - It's not about the money.
- Yeah, sure.Copy !req
253. Muffles, be polite.
Will you two ever be friends?Copy !req
254. You know, I'd like to say yes, but...Copy !req
255. How you feeling today, Bev?Copy !req
256. Have my good days and bad days.
Today's a good day.Copy !req
257. I'm glad to hear that.Copy !req
258. Come have your breakfast, dear.Copy !req
259. I got to get to work.Copy !req
260. Still working for the Man, huh?Copy !req
261. As a matter of fact, it is a man I work for.Copy !req
262. Thought they would've made you partner
by now.Copy !req
263. I got to get to work.Copy !req
264. Have a good one, old man.Copy !req
265. One snowball with a little yellow spot on it.Copy !req
266. Just skim the top of that little head of his.
Just like that.Copy !req
267. "Old man."Copy !req
268. Bah, humbug.Copy !req
269. Good morning, Mr. Scrooge.Copy !req
270. - Morning, Dox. Do I have any messages?
- Wal-Mart called.Copy !req
271. Said I had to buy my own cheap perfume
since Santa Claus isn't coming this year.Copy !req
272. Funny.Copy !req
273. Nora Krank!Copy !req
274. We're here for Frosty!Copy !req
275. - Hello.
- Luther.Copy !req
276. - Hey, babe.
- They're here.Copy !req
277. Who?Copy !req
278. Vic Frohmeyer, Wes Trogdon, Ned Becker,
and a gang of their kids.Copy !req
279. We're here for Frosty!Copy !req
280. - They want Frosty.
- They can't have him.Copy !req
281. Nora!Copy !req
282. Please give us Frosty.Copy !req
283. Honey, where is Frosty?Copy !req
284. - He's down behind the furnace. Why?
- They won't go away.Copy !req
285. Don't give them Frosty.Copy !req
286. You and Luther do not have to do anything!Copy !req
287. Just leave Frosty on the front porch.
We'll put him up for you.Copy !req
288. - They said they'll put him up for us.
- Absolutely not.Copy !req
289. - Please, Luther.
- No!Copy !req
290. We'll come back later.Copy !req
291. And Frosty better be here.Copy !req
292. They're gonna come back!Copy !req
293. Listen to you.Copy !req
294. You're panicking on the phone
in a locked house...Copy !req
295. because the neighbors
are going door to door...Copy !req
296. to set up a ridiculous
7-foot tall snowman!Copy !req
297. Sure, easy for you to say.
Miles away in the safety of your office.Copy !req
298. Yeah, well—Copy !req
299. I am the one trapped here.
I am the one dealing with this!Copy !req
300. All right, I agree. So maybe it's time
that you left the neighborhood.Copy !req
301. Sure, honey.
How do you think I'm gonna do that?Copy !req
302. The street is blocked
with all of our neighbors.Copy !req
303. Walk to the garage, get in the car,
start it, drive to the mall...Copy !req
304. I'll meet you at O'Leary's.Copy !req
305. Do it now! You can do this! Do it before—Copy !req
306. Bit more to the left.Copy !req
307. That looks good.Copy !req
308. - Hi, Mrs. Krank.
- Nora?Copy !req
309. Vic, she's leaving!Copy !req
310. What's she doing?Copy !req
311. I'm so sorry.Copy !req
312. Sorry!Copy !req
313. Nora, stop the car.Copy !req
314. Stop the car. Please, listen.
Don't do anything you'll regret.Copy !req
315. Now, please, indulge me for a second.Copy !req
316. Stop the car. Listen to me. Give us Frosty.Copy !req
317. Stop the car.Copy !req
318. We just want Frosty.Copy !req
319. Talk to me. Please. Lndulge me for a second.Copy !req
320. It's us women who handle Christmas,
not men.Copy !req
321. I am the one taking the brunt
for your harebrained scheme.Copy !req
322. I am the one on the frontlines.Copy !req
323. - I have a surprise for you.
- What?Copy !req
324. Shut your eyes.Copy !req
325. All right, open them.Copy !req
326. - Honey, is this some kind of joke?
- No, I got one, too. What do you think?Copy !req
327. A woman's bathing suit?Copy !req
328. Probably belongs with that.
Nope, got my own.Copy !req
329. Look at that. Little cliff-diver thing.Copy !req
330. Honey, there is no way
we are wearing these on this cruise.Copy !req
331. These aren't for the cruise.Copy !req
332. You know what's odd?Copy !req
333. Is when an Irish pub serves fish tacos.
I don't get that.Copy !req
334. I got a little heartburn. I don't think I'm
gonna do that again. Here it is, right here.Copy !req
335. Come on.
Follow me, and don't mention her eyes.Copy !req
336. Hello, Mr. Krank.Copy !req
337. - Hi, Daisy. This is my wife, Nora.
- Hello.Copy !req
338. I really don't want to do this.Copy !req
339. No, come on. I got a great deal.
$60, 12 visits.Copy !req
340. Why would we get a tan before the cruise?Copy !req
341. I thought the whole point was to get a tan
during the cruise.Copy !req
342. Look at our skin.
We kind of look like uncooked chicken.Copy !req
343. You look like a corpse.Copy !req
344. And you could use a little help yourself.Copy !req
345. Thank you.Copy !req
346. Dear God, this should be outlawed.Copy !req
347. Okay, calm down.Copy !req
348. Excuse me.Copy !req
349. Excuse me. Hello!Copy !req
350. I need a BAND-AID.Copy !req
351. Nora Krank?Copy !req
352. Father Zabriskie. Hello.
What are you doing here?Copy !req
353. It's a mall. I'm Christmas shopping.Copy !req
354. Of course you are.Copy !req
355. Are you okay?Copy !req
356. Yes. Sort of.Copy !req
357. You're bleeding.Copy !req
358. Yes, it's just a scratch.
Could I get another towel, please?Copy !req
359. I'm looking for a BAND-AlD.
Jeez, lady, make up your mind.Copy !req
360. Nora, I hear it from a good source
that you and Luther...Copy !req
361. have decided not to observe Christmas
this year.Copy !req
362. Yeah, sort of.Copy !req
363. Father Zabriskie, Luther and I are fine.Copy !req
364. Everything is fine,
and everything is completely normal.Copy !req
365. Attendant said you were bleeding.
Are you all right?Copy !req
366. - Luther.
- Hey, there.Copy !req
367. Father Zabriskie.Copy !req
368. Hey.Copy !req
369. We've made the front page.Copy !req
370. - Check it out.
- Hold on.Copy !req
371. - "Skipping Christmas."
- Yep.Copy !req
372. "The home of Mr. and Mrs. Luther Krank
is rather dark this Christmas.Copy !req
373. "While their neighbors on Hemlock Street
are decorating and preparing for Santa...Copy !req
374. "the Kranks are skipping Christmas.Copy !req
375. "They're preparing for a cruise,
according to unnamed sources.Copy !req
376. "No tree, no lights,
and no Frosty up on the roof...Copy !req
377. "and the only house on Hemlock
to keep Frosty in the basement."Copy !req
378. - How do they know where Frosty is?
- They have spies everywhere.Copy !req
379. "Hemlock, a frequent winner
in The Gazette Street Decoration Contest...Copy !req
380. "finished a disappointing sixth this year.Copy !req
381. "' I hope they're satisfied now, '
complained one unidentified neighbor.Copy !req
382. "'A rotten display of selfishness, '
said another."Copy !req
383. - Who said that?
- Could've been anybody.Copy !req
384. How dare they!Copy !req
385. What a bunch of losers.Copy !req
386. You know what?Copy !req
387. You know, I don't think I'm coming back
from this cruise.Copy !req
388. Attagirl. Two more days
and we're out of here.Copy !req
389. Two more, baby.Copy !req
390. Jerks.Copy !req
391. - Chocolate milk?
- Sure.Copy !req
392. That's mine.Copy !req
393. - Regular.
- Sorry I'm late.Copy !req
394. Hey. What's wrong?Copy !req
395. It's Bev Scheel.Copy !req
396. - Could you cover for me?
- Sure.Copy !req
397. - What happened?
- She went for a checkup yesterday.Copy !req
398. The cancer's back for the third time.Copy !req
399. - Has it spread?
- They think so.Copy !req
400. That's awful.Copy !req
401. This could be her last Christmas.Copy !req
402. Sweetheart.Copy !req
403. Well, if it isn't old Scrooge himself.Copy !req
404. How do you think this photographer
got this shot?Copy !req
405. - What photographer?
- The one that took this photograph.Copy !req
406. - That one.
- Yeah, that one.Copy !req
407. He climbed up.Copy !req
408. - On your roof?
- Yeah.Copy !req
409. - Why did you do that?
- I don't know.Copy !req
410. He said he wanted to get a shot
of the whole street.Copy !req
411. At least you're consistent.Copy !req
412. I try to be, old man.Copy !req
413. - Stop that.
- Stop what?Copy !req
414. Stop calling me "old man."Copy !req
415. You're, like, 10 years older than me.Copy !req
416. - Am l?
- Yeah.Copy !req
417. - Prove it.
- Walt.Copy !req
418. I just heard about Bev. I am so sorry.Copy !req
419. How's she doing?Copy !req
420. Remarkably well. In good spirits.
Decorating the house, baking cookies.Copy !req
421. Sure. If there's anything we can do,
let me know.Copy !req
422. Thanks. I really appreciate that.Copy !req
423. They're here for Frosty.Copy !req
424. No.Copy !req
425. - I'll get it.
- Thank you.Copy !req
426. - Good evening, Mr. Krank.
- Good evening, officers.Copy !req
427. It's that time of year again.Copy !req
428. Your Police Benevolent Association's
out there raising money for the community.Copy !req
429. That's great.Copy !req
430. You know, Toys for Tots, and we deliver
gift baskets for the underprivileged.Copy !req
431. And ice skating for handicapped kids.Copy !req
432. Every year, we deliver presents
for the elderly at the nursing homes...Copy !req
433. and, of course, our war veterans.Copy !req
434. Our big moneymaker is our calendar...Copy !req
435. and you buy one every year, so here we are.Copy !req
436. We don't need a calendar this year.Copy !req
437. What a jerk.Copy !req
438. He said he didn't need one.Copy !req
439. Thank you for your contribution.
Merry Christmas.Copy !req
440. Yeah, Merry Christmas. Good luck with it.Copy !req
441. - Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.Copy !req
442. We're from St. Maria's Lutheran Church
out caroling. Are those folks home?Copy !req
443. Yes, they are.Copy !req
444. - Are they Jewish?
- No.Copy !req
445. - Buddhist or anything?
- No, none of that.Copy !req
446. They're just trying
to avoid Christmas this year.Copy !req
447. - Do what?
- You heard me. He's kind of weird.Copy !req
448. Skipping Christmas so he can
save his money for a cruise.Copy !req
449. No.Copy !req
450. I think some Christmas cheer
would do them good.Copy !req
451. - Really?
- Why don't you go ahead?Copy !req
452. All righty then.Copy !req
453. Drop.Copy !req
454. Down!Copy !req
455. Go!Copy !req
456. This is fun.Copy !req
457. Christmas carolers
right out next to our junipers.Copy !req
458. How lovely.Copy !req
459. It's not lovely. They're trespassing.
Somebody set us up.Copy !req
460. - They're not trespassing.
- Yes, they are.Copy !req
461. They're on our property.
They weren't invited.Copy !req
462. Somebody told them to come.
Scheel or Frohmeyer.Copy !req
463. - Christmas carolers are not trespassers.
- I know what I'm talking about here.Copy !req
464. - Why don't you have them arrested, then?
- I just may do that.Copy !req
465. Call your friends
down at the police department.Copy !req
466. - That's funny.
- Not too late to buy a calendar.Copy !req
467. This isn't a joke. This is military.Copy !req
468. This is SEAL stuff.
I saw it on Discovery Channel.Copy !req
469. Come on.Copy !req
470. Just sit right here. Here you go. Right here.Copy !req
471. There. That's perfect.Copy !req
472. Quietest room in the house.
No one can find us down here.Copy !req
473. Free Frosty! Free Frosty!Copy !req
474. Merry Christmas, Mrs. Krank.Copy !req
475. Luther!Copy !req
476. "Every Who down in Who-ville
liked Christmas a lot.Copy !req
477. "But the Grinch who lived
just north of Who-ville did not.Copy !req
478. "The Grinch hated Christmas,
the whole Christmas season.Copy !req
479. "Now, please don't ask why,
no one quite knows the reason.Copy !req
480. "It could be his head
wasn't screwed on just right.Copy !req
481. "It could be, perhaps,
that his shoes were too tight.Copy !req
482. "But I think
that the most likely reason of all...Copy !req
483. "may have been that his heart
was two sizes too small."Copy !req
484. Luther, your face.Copy !req
485. - What about it?
- It's like it's frozen or something.Copy !req
486. This?Copy !req
487. I got a BOTOX injection today.Copy !req
488. BOTOX treatment.Copy !req
489. They take a big needle
and they inject it into your forehead.Copy !req
490. It freezes your face like this.
I read it in a health magazine.Copy !req
491. - How long are you gonna be like this?
- This is temporary.Copy !req
492. And then you got all your wrinkles are gone.Copy !req
493. - You should try this.
- You ought to get your money back.Copy !req
494. - I can't live like this anymore.
- What?Copy !req
495. We can't go out.Copy !req
496. Everywhere we go,
people are whispering behind our backs.Copy !req
497. I can't go home. It's too depressing.Copy !req
498. I mean, there's no tree and no lights
and no music.Copy !req
499. I can't talk to you.Copy !req
500. - You're just consumed with yourself.
- That's not true.Copy !req
501. - Look how far you've gone.
- Amazing.Copy !req
502. - Turning our lawn into an ice rink.
- I can't feel anything.Copy !req
503. Somebody could've broken
their leg or their neck.Copy !req
504. - You could've put a caroler in the hospital.
- And that would be a bad thing?Copy !req
505. I'm kidding.
I know this has been tough on you.Copy !req
506. But in just one day, 24 hours,
we'll be on that trip.Copy !req
507. And it's all gonna be better. I promise.Copy !req
508. I don't know.Copy !req
509. Do you think that Blair
will even think about Christmas?Copy !req
510. Probably not.
I mean, she's in the rainforest...Copy !req
511. and around people who worship trees...Copy !req
512. and eat bark and frogs and that sort of stuff.Copy !req
513. - You gonna wear that?
- Absolutely.Copy !req
514. Nice.Copy !req
515. Free Frosty!Copy !req
516. I know this is you, Spike. Goodbye.Copy !req
517. - Again? How many times is that?
- About five or six times.Copy !req
518. Wish I had a snappy comeback
for that smart guy.Copy !req
519. - Who cares?
- You're right.Copy !req
520. The islands are calling.Copy !req
521. - Free Frosty! Free—
- Goodbye, Spike.Copy !req
522. - You're a genius.
- Thank you.Copy !req
523. - All right, Frosty's dead.
- What? Dad, is that you?Copy !req
524. - Wait a minute. Blair?
- Yeah.Copy !req
525. Hi. No, that was a joke.
I thought that was somebody from work.Copy !req
526. Your mom's getting on the other line,
then we have something fun to tell you.Copy !req
527. - Blair.
- Hi, Mommy.Copy !req
528. Hi, honey. It's Mommy.
How are you? Where are you?Copy !req
529. I'm in Miami,
and I'm coming home for Christmas.Copy !req
530. - What?
- Are you guys surprised?Copy !req
531. - I'm stunned.
- Surprised.Copy !req
532. - We landed about an hour ago.
- That's great!Copy !req
533. - What do you mean "we"?
- I have another wonderful surprise.Copy !req
534. - Yeah? What is it?
- I'm with Enrique.Copy !req
535. - What's a rique?
- Enrique.Copy !req
536. He's a doctor. We went to Brown together.Copy !req
537. You guys met him a couple of times.
At my dorms and at my graduation.Copy !req
538. - Of course.
- I don't remember.Copy !req
539. He's Peruvian.Copy !req
540. - Great. A Communist.
- Honey!Copy !req
541. - Sometimes we called him Rick.
- Rick?Copy !req
542. The guy that you went down there
to shack up with.Copy !req
543. He lived in a separate hut, Dad.Copy !req
544. Hut schmut. I want to see pictures
to prove that.Copy !req
545. We've been friends for years.
And he's just so wonderful.Copy !req
546. We fell in love while working together...Copy !req
547. and he's asked me to marry him.Copy !req
548. What?Copy !req
549. And I really want to.Copy !req
550. Honey!Copy !req
551. Enrique has always gone home
for the holidays, so he's...Copy !req
552. never celebrated Christmas
in America. And he's so excited.Copy !req
553. I told him all about Christmas there.
The tree, the decorations...Copy !req
554. Frosty up on the roof. Everything.
Is it snowing, Daddy?Copy !req
555. You know,
Enrique has never seen a white Christmas.Copy !req
556. No, but I sense a storm coming.Copy !req
557. Okay, when do you land?
When do you get in?Copy !req
558. - We land at 8:03.
- Tonight?Copy !req
559. Yes, tonight. Just in time
for our big Christmas Eve party.Copy !req
560. You are having the party, aren't you, Mom?Copy !req
561. Of course we are.Copy !req
562. Great! Mom, you are going to love Enrique.Copy !req
563. He wants to have a houseful of kids.Copy !req
564. Honey!Copy !req
565. Oh, Mom, I can't wait to be home.
Pretty neat surprise?Copy !req
566. I am speechless!Copy !req
567. And your father is probably overwhelmed.Copy !req
568. Great. I love you, Mommy.Copy !req
569. I love you too, honey. Safe flight.
Okay, I'll see you here.Copy !req
570. - She should've called sooner.
- But she didn't.Copy !req
571. Why did you tell her
we're having that party?Copy !req
572. Because we are.Copy !req
573. I need my vest.Copy !req
574. I don't know who's coming to the party
or what they're gonna eat...Copy !req
575. but we're having a party.Copy !req
576. What about our trip?Copy !req
577. Don't even start with me.
This was all your stupid idea.Copy !req
578. Stupid idea?
Five minutes ago, I was a genius.Copy !req
579. - Now you're an idiot.
- How does one call change so much?Copy !req
580. Don't dwell on the past, Island Boy,
we're having a party.Copy !req
581. Cheese, wine and Blairey's favorite:
hickory honey ham.Copy !req
582. - Who's coming to this party?
- I haven't gotten that far yet.Copy !req
583. - You're in charge of the tree.
- We don't have one.Copy !req
584. Get one and put it up.Copy !req
585. Then you will get your little brown butt
down to the basement and put up Frosty.Copy !req
586. - No!
- Yes!Copy !req
587. We are going to perform
a little Christmas miracle.Copy !req
588. If we pull it off,
Blairey is never gonna know...Copy !req
589. about your stupid, ridiculous,
childish scheme...Copy !req
590. of skipping Christmas.Copy !req
591. I'm sorry about this little ugly bush.Copy !req
592. - Merry Christmas.
- It is, isn't it?Copy !req
593. - Duke Scanlon.
- Hi, Duke.Copy !req
594. The same guy who brought you...Copy !req
595. that beautiful Canadian blue spruce
a few weeks back.Copy !req
596. Okay, great! Merry Christmas to you.
I need another blue spruce just like that.Copy !req
597. I really need a tree right now.
What do you got left?Copy !req
598. Just one.Copy !req
599. You know what? I like it. I'll take that one.Copy !req
600. - Really?
- Yeah. How much is it?Copy !req
601. - $75.
- It says $15 right there.Copy !req
602. - Yeah. Supply and demand.
- That's kind of a rip-off, isn't it?Copy !req
603. The Scouts could sure use
your $75 donation for their camporee.Copy !req
604. What do you guys say I give you $25?Copy !req
605. $75. Take it or leave it.Copy !req
606. Yours?Copy !req
607. - Hey, Wes.
- Hey, Luther. Merry Christmas.Copy !req
608. Merry Christmas to you, too, man.
I'm in a little bit of a bind.Copy !req
609. I got to be at my in-laws' by 5:00.
I should've left two hours ago.Copy !req
610. Let me give you a hand.
This won't take long.Copy !req
611. Listen to me. My plans have changed.Copy !req
612. I got a call from Blair.
She's coming home tonight.Copy !req
613. - What about the cruise?
- I don't know.Copy !req
614. - I can't find a Christmas tree, though.
- So?Copy !req
615. Can I borrow yours?Copy !req
616. - Wes, we got to go.
- Be right there, T.Copy !req
617. - You want my tree?
- Yeah.Copy !req
618. I can get it back in your house
before you return.Copy !req
619. - That's ridiculous.
- But I don't have a choice.Copy !req
620. Everyone else needs their tree
tonight and tomorrow.Copy !req
621. - You're serious, aren't you?
- Dead serious.Copy !req
622. - Trish wouldn't like it.
- Trish doesn't have to know.Copy !req
623. - Hey, Trish!
- Hi, Luther.Copy !req
624. - Honey, we got to go.
- He's just saying Merry Christmas.Copy !req
625. Please.Copy !req
626. You break one ornament, we're both dead.Copy !req
627. I will leave it just like I found it.
I appreciate this, I really do.Copy !req
628. - This is funny, you know?
- Why am I not laughing?Copy !req
629. Free Frosty! Free Frosty!Copy !req
630. - Got to go.
- Thanks.Copy !req
631. Guys! Fellas.Copy !req
632. Guys, I'm sitting right over here.Copy !req
633. - Scatter!
- Go!Copy !req
634. - Wait.
- Run!Copy !req
635. Wait, come here.Copy !req
636. I just want to talk to you, Spike.Copy !req
637. - Let me go!
- Bad little elf.Copy !req
638. - Stop squirming around.
- Get off!Copy !req
639. - Come on.
- Don't hit me.Copy !req
640. It was a joke.
The Frosty sign, the phone calls.Copy !req
641. I know. I'm not gonna hurt you,
I'm not gonna hit you.Copy !req
642. But you do owe me.Copy !req
643. - All I got is $20.
- I don't want your money.Copy !req
644. I need a little help.Copy !req
645. That is one huge tree.
It reminds me of this tree my dad got once—Copy !req
646. That's interesting. Here's the plan.
Put the real delicate ones on the sofa.Copy !req
647. - Is this against the law?
- Of course not. Just don't break anything.Copy !req
648. Spike!Copy !req
649. - Nothing valuable.
- What's it say on there?Copy !req
650. "Baby's first Christmas."Copy !req
651. Perfect!Copy !req
652. - Hello?
- Hey, Walt. Ned here.Copy !req
653. - Merry Christmas, Ned.
- Merry Christmas, Walt.Copy !req
654. Say, I'm watching the Trogdons' house.Copy !req
655. It appears as if Krank has lost his mind.Copy !req
656. - How's that?
- He's stealing their Christmas tree.Copy !req
657. Hello. Excuse me, I am looking for a ham.
A hickory honey ham.Copy !req
658. If there are any left, they'll be back there.Copy !req
659. Thank you very much. Merry Christmas.
Excuse me.Copy !req
660. Happy holidays.Copy !req
661. - Are you sure this isn't illegal?
- Are you a cop? Come on.Copy !req
662. - Can I buy your ham?
- Pardon?Copy !req
663. Your ham, it's the last one.Copy !req
664. And my daughter, Blair, is coming home
all the way from Peru...Copy !req
665. and hickory honey hams
are her absolute favorite.Copy !req
666. - And I'd like to buy it from you.
- No, it's not for sale.Copy !req
667. But she's in the Peace Corps.Copy !req
668. And I'd be willing to pay anything
above sticker price.Copy !req
669. No, we're not interested.Copy !req
670. You know, it's never too early
to start thinking about putting away...Copy !req
671. a little something
for your child's college education.Copy !req
672. You got it?Copy !req
673. Come around here.
I want you to steer, I'll hold the back.Copy !req
674. Ready? Come around the back.Copy !req
675. Spike!Copy !req
676. - Hello, Mr. Krank.
- Hey, fellas.Copy !req
677. Where you going with that tree?Copy !req
678. Spike and I are just taking it to my house.Copy !req
679. Spike?Copy !req
680. Yeah, the kid. Spike.Copy !req
681. Did he just run that way? No? That's weird.Copy !req
682. - Is this an imaginary friend?
- No.Copy !req
683. Merry Christmas!Copy !req
684. Stop!Copy !req
685. Should've bought a calendar.Copy !req
686. Gonna need it where you're going.Copy !req
687. What do you want?Copy !req
688. It's me, Spike Frohmeyer.
You know, Vic's kid.Copy !req
689. Yeah.Copy !req
690. If he says Trogdon loaned him the tree,
then he's telling the truth.Copy !req
691. Here's the key. It's not a burglary.Copy !req
692. Key.Copy !req
693. Scram, Krank.Copy !req
694. Thanks, Spike. I was kind of scared in there.Copy !req
695. You'll be all right.
Try to relax, will you, Luther?Copy !req
696. Get the tree.Copy !req
697. - What happened?
- Unload the car.Copy !req
698. - What's wrong?
- Nobody's coming.Copy !req
699. I've called everybody we know,
they're all busy.Copy !req
700. - We'll have to invite the neighbors.
- Over my dead body.Copy !req
701. - How's the tree?
- Well...Copy !req
702. It's a disaster.Copy !req
703. Take it or leave it.Copy !req
704. Blue icicles and a Chicago Bear ornament?
Popcorn. Those aren't mine.Copy !req
705. - Smoked trout.
- Better than frozen pizza.Copy !req
706. What happened to the hickory honey ham?Copy !req
707. Never say "hickory honey ham" again.Copy !req
708. Hello. Blair! Hi, honey!Copy !req
709. I'd like to talk to her
to send her back to Peru.Copy !req
710. You're in Atlanta? Wow.Copy !req
711. We're just busy cooking away here,
getting ready for the party.Copy !req
712. Of course I'm making caramel cream pie,
your favorite.Copy !req
713. We'll be there at 8:00 to pick you up.Copy !req
714. I can't wait to see you, too. I love you. Bye.Copy !req
715. It's 4:30. I need two pounds of caramel
and a jar of marshmallow cream.Copy !req
716. The liquor store closes at 5:00
and they're holding a case of Pinot Noir.Copy !req
717. A case of wine for the four of us?Copy !req
718. Shut up. How long will it take you
to put up Frosty?Copy !req
719. - Three days.
- Great!Copy !req
720. When you finish, call all the neighbors
and invite them to the party.Copy !req
721. What party?Copy !req
722. Merry Christmas, Nora.Copy !req
723. Merry Christmas to you, too.Copy !req
724. Why are you out running around?Copy !req
725. Just picking up last-minute stuff. You?Copy !req
726. Picking up some stuff. Few things.Copy !req
727. Big party tomorrow?Copy !req
728. Actually, it's tonight. My daughter's
coming back from South America.Copy !req
729. We're just throwing a little party.
She's bringing her new boyfriend.Copy !req
730. Blair.Copy !req
731. Yes.Copy !req
732. Would you like to come?Copy !req
733. You mean that?Copy !req
734. Absolutely. I mean, it's just drop-in.Copy !req
735. What time?Copy !req
736. 8:30.Copy !req
737. - You're on Hemlock?
- Yes, 1482.Copy !req
738. Thank you. Yes, thank you.Copy !req
739. Who are you?Copy !req
740. Not a clue.Copy !req
741. You get heavier every year.Copy !req
742. Up here!Copy !req
743. Come on.Copy !req
744. There we go.Copy !req
745. I see Frosty.Copy !req
746. Kids! Guys!
Mr. Krank is putting up his Frosty.Copy !req
747. Let's go.Copy !req
748. Come on. Straighten up there. Near perfect.Copy !req
749. - Good evening, Luther!
- Hey!Copy !req
750. You need some help, buddy?Copy !req
751. No.Copy !req
752. Luther, hold on.Copy !req
753. Watch your balance!Copy !req
754. Easy! Careful!Copy !req
755. Careful, Luther!Copy !req
756. Back. We got to go back that way.Copy !req
757. Look out!Copy !req
758. You okay?Copy !req
759. Swell, Vic. Thanks. How about you?Copy !req
760. I called 911. They're on the way.Copy !req
761. - Thanks, Walt.
- Bev made me.Copy !req
762. - It was up on the roof just a minute ago.
- Is he all right?Copy !req
763. Poor Frosty.Copy !req
764. Yeah, "poor Frosty" my eye.Copy !req
765. He's okay!Copy !req
766. You should just let me drop. Let me fall.Copy !req
767. He's all right.Copy !req
768. What on earth are you doing? Are you okay?Copy !req
769. Actually, it was a suicide attempt.Copy !req
770. Apparently, I misread the instructions.
Put my leg to sleep, though.Copy !req
771. He was up there by himself,
trying to put up your Frosty.Copy !req
772. - Sweetie, here they come.
- Here come the pros. Guys.Copy !req
773. Just hold on. I guess you can't, can you?Copy !req
774. Hurry up!Copy !req
775. Back off, I'll be all right.
Move away. Let these guys handle it.Copy !req
776. Thanks. Just a little problem with the rope.
If you could just untie it.Copy !req
777. Get a ladder, that would be helpful.
But I don't know...Copy !req
778. What are you gonna do
with those clippers, guys?Copy !req
779. Got him?Copy !req
780. You okay?Copy !req
781. Dudes, over here.Copy !req
782. Slow down. That's good. Over here, man.Copy !req
783. Folks, move back.Copy !req
784. What's going on here?Copy !req
785. Luther here was up on the roof putting up
Frosty and then they both fell off.Copy !req
786. Coming through.Copy !req
787. I thought you were skipping Christmas
this year, Mr. Krank.Copy !req
788. What about that? What's going on there?Copy !req
789. Blair's coming home for Christmas.Copy !req
790. And she's bringing her boyfriend.Copy !req
791. - And she expects to see a Christmas tree?
- Yeah.Copy !req
792. - And a Frosty?
- Of course.Copy !req
793. And what about
the annual Kranks' Christmas Eve party?Copy !req
794. That, too.Copy !req
795. - When does she get in?
- Plane arrives about 8:00.Copy !req
796. All right, people, listen up. Gather around.Copy !req
797. We're about to have a party here
at the Kranks'.Copy !req
798. A Christmas homecoming for Blair.Copy !req
799. Great idea, Vic.Copy !req
800. Drop what you're doing and pitch in.
Nora, do you have a turkey?Copy !req
801. Smoked trout.Copy !req
802. Smoked trout?Copy !req
803. Anybody got a turkey?Copy !req
804. - We have two, both in the oven.
- Beautiful. Get them.Copy !req
805. Ned, go to Brixley's. Get his Frosty.
Get some lights, too.Copy !req
806. We'll put them along Luther's boxwoods.Copy !req
807. - Hold on. Why should we do this for him?
- Yeah. He's a jerk.Copy !req
808. Regardless of how you feel about him—
A lot of you have mixed feelings about him.Copy !req
809. But we're a community.
The people in a community stick together.Copy !req
810. Even if one of them has been behaving,
for most of the holiday season...Copy !req
811. like a spoiled, selfish little baby.Copy !req
812. We're not doing this for him.
We're doing this for Blair.Copy !req
813. Blair, who used to baby-sit all your kids.Copy !req
814. Blair, who comes home every summer
and makes us all feel like family.Copy !req
815. That's right.Copy !req
816. Why should the daughter pay
for the sins of the father?Copy !req
817. Now, if we even have a hope of pulling
this off, you got to scatter.Copy !req
818. Grab a change of clothes and all the food
you can, and get over here in half an hour.Copy !req
819. - Let's go.
- Randy, Mike, let's go.Copy !req
820. - Thank you!
- You're welcome, Nora.Copy !req
821. Guys, better go to the airport.Copy !req
822. - Why's that?
- Blair needs a ride home.Copy !req
823. I don't know if we could do that.Copy !req
824. Shall I call the chief?Copy !req
825. We could do that.Copy !req
826. Got a hold of Frosty there?Copy !req
827. Easy. Up he goes.Copy !req
828. There you go.Copy !req
829. Finally.Copy !req
830. There's nothing like a white Christmas.Copy !req
831. Merry Christmas!Copy !req
832. Hi, everybody!Copy !req
833. - Hey, boss!
- Hey, guys. Come on in.Copy !req
834. Aubie. Thank you.Copy !req
835. What are these?Copy !req
836. Honey.Copy !req
837. These illegal?Copy !req
838. Here. I have that one piece you need.Copy !req
839. I think that should go over there.Copy !req
840. Honey, look. Look. Mistletoe.Copy !req
841. Hello?Copy !req
842. - Hey, Blair.
- Blair?Copy !req
843. - You're 55 minutes early.
- What?Copy !req
844. That's a heck of a tail wind. Yeah.
That's great.Copy !req
845. We're waiting right here.
Can't wait to see you.Copy !req
846. Love you, honey.Copy !req
847. That was your mom. We both love you.
Bye-bye.Copy !req
848. - What are we gonna do? We'll never make it.
- No, I got an idea. Hold it.Copy !req
849. Go!Copy !req
850. Go, Spike!Copy !req
851. Anything else that's in a box,
just put it down in the cellar.Copy !req
852. You know what? It looks good.Copy !req
853. - See them?
- I don't see my parents anywhere.Copy !req
854. Honey.Copy !req
855. Is that us?Copy !req
856. Hi, I'm Blair. This is Enrique.Copy !req
857. A police escort? I'm impressed.Copy !req
858. I guess my dad was really generous
with his donation this year.Copy !req
859. Yeah. You have no idea.Copy !req
860. Thirty-seven minutes, my friends.Copy !req
861. Welcome to the United States.
Hand me those bags.Copy !req
862. Officer Frohmeyer here. Do you read me?Copy !req
863. How many times I got to tell you, stay off—Copy !req
864. This is serious. Can you talk?Copy !req
865. - Yeah, go.
- We need to stall.Copy !req
866. - Stall?
- We're ready.Copy !req
867. We're not ready.Copy !req
868. Okay. Stall.Copy !req
869. I'll get it, thanks.Copy !req
870. - Merry Christmas, Luther. Here's a ham.
- Can I help you?Copy !req
871. I'm sorry. I'm a little bit early.
It's cold out there.Copy !req
872. - Why don't you go in? Enjoy yourself.
- I'm so happy to be here.Copy !req
873. Father Zabriskie,
it's so nice to see you again.Copy !req
874. Thank you.Copy !req
875. - I don't know who he is.
- He brings ham.Copy !req
876. Why are you driving so slow?Copy !req
877. Icy roads.Copy !req
878. Want to celebrate Christmas
under a mistletoe or in a body bag?Copy !req
879. - Can I help you with that?
- Thank you.Copy !req
880. - Good.
- Here we go.Copy !req
881. Honey, I talked to everyone.
No one knows that guy.Copy !req
882. He knows them.Copy !req
883. What is... How do... What?Copy !req
884. Thanks, Father.Copy !req
885. - Robbie, check that bottom string.
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
886. That's good enough.
We don't have much time.Copy !req
887. Randy, plug it in.Copy !req
888. Sweet.Copy !req
889. It's just the lights.Copy !req
890. - I'll go check the breaker.
- I'd better go help Luther.Copy !req
891. Do you know anybody at ComEd?Copy !req
892. Officer Frohmeyer here. Do you read me?
Hurry, I'm running on batteries.Copy !req
893. - What's up, Spike, sir?
- We need more time.Copy !req
894. - Roger.
- What was that? Talking about time.Copy !req
895. He said crime.Copy !req
896. Possible domestic disturbance.
We'd better check it out.Copy !req
897. What are you talking about?Copy !req
898. We'll put those down here on the table,
I think, just as the entrée.Copy !req
899. Aubie, put the cookies over there
on the edge of the table.Copy !req
900. - There was a box with some balls in it—
- You took the big box downstairs.Copy !req
901. Finally!Copy !req
902. Wonderful!Copy !req
903. - It looks wonderful, everybody.
- Place looks great.Copy !req
904. She's gonna be here any minute!Copy !req
905. Honey, I need to do something
about your tan, and we need to change.Copy !req
906. Will you please tell me
what the hell is going on here?Copy !req
907. We got to stall.Copy !req
908. Just for a few minutes
until they get the party started.Copy !req
909. Okay.Copy !req
910. See, it's fine. Just checkup.Copy !req
911. Let's walk over to this door
like we're investigating something.Copy !req
912. I'll put my hand on my gun,
make it look official.Copy !req
913. Yeah, you do that, Mr. Terminator.Copy !req
914. I look like my mother.Copy !req
915. And she's been dead, what, 15 years?Copy !req
916. That's enough time. Let's go back to the car.Copy !req
917. Okay.Copy !req
918. What was that? Looks like a break-in.Copy !req
919. - No way.
- Yes way.Copy !req
920. I don't need this. Not now.Copy !req
921. Break-in rate is very high on Christmas Eve.Copy !req
922. I know that, but we got a party to go to.Copy !req
923. So, what do you want to do, ignore it?Copy !req
924. We can't do that.Copy !req
925. - There he is.
- Police!Copy !req
926. Eat this!Copy !req
927. Go get him. Go on, get going.Copy !req
928. Get up! Come on, he's getting away.
Hurry up!Copy !req
929. What are you doing lying there?
He's getting away.Copy !req
930. All right, don't move.
Stay right where you are.Copy !req
931. Police.Copy !req
932. - Get him!
- Police.Copy !req
933. All right! We got him.Copy !req
934. Honey, this is gonna be
Enrique's first Christmas in America.Copy !req
935. I hope we make a good impression.Copy !req
936. Nora, are you sure about this?Copy !req
937. - I look like a Mafia lieutenant.
- The black makes your skin look lighter.Copy !req
938. And Blair is never to know about the cruise.
Do you understand?Copy !req
939. I heard you the first 60 times.Copy !req
940. Frohmeyer One to Frohmeyer Two.Copy !req
941. - The Eagle has landed.
- Roger.Copy !req
942. Ned! They're here!Copy !req
943. - I'm not finished.
- Hide!Copy !req
944. Guys, Blair's here!Copy !req
945. I see her!Copy !req
946. - They're here!
- What if we don't like him?Copy !req
947. We raised a smart girl.Copy !req
948. Welcome home!Copy !req
949. They're getting out of the car!Copy !req
950. She's home! Everybody, she's here!Copy !req
951. Good to see you.Copy !req
952. - Who's this?
- Enrique, my boyfriend.Copy !req
953. - Vic Frohmeyer. Pleased to meet you.
- Pleased to meet you, sir.Copy !req
954. This is so exciting. Hi, guys.Copy !req
955. Your parents are dying to see you.
Didn't Luther do a great job on the house?Copy !req
956. Honey, they're here!Copy !req
957. - I can't believe I'm home.
- We can't believe you're home, either.Copy !req
958. Dad.Copy !req
959. - Luther Krank. This is Nora, my wife.
- Hi, I'm Enrique DeCardenal.Copy !req
960. Come here, you!Copy !req
961. - Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas to you.Copy !req
962. - You guys look great.
- We've been watching what we eat.Copy !req
963. - And you've been in the sun.
- No, we have not.Copy !req
964. No. I wear black to make me look lighter.Copy !req
965. The party! Look, there's the party!
Come on, it's the party!Copy !req
966. Everybody, look! Party!Copy !req
967. Nice to see you.Copy !req
968. I'll take the light one, you take the rest.Copy !req
969. Hey, Aubie, how are you?Copy !req
970. Kid.Copy !req
971. Come here.Copy !req
972. I'm freezing to death.Copy !req
973. I'm starving out here.
I haven't eaten in seven days.Copy !req
974. - Seven days?
- Yeah.Copy !req
975. Any scraps I get, I give to the kids.Copy !req
976. - What kids?
- My kids.Copy !req
977. I got four: Annie, Billy, Tommy, and Chuck.Copy !req
978. And all I wanted to do was give them
a real Christmas this year.Copy !req
979. They deserve it.Copy !req
980. Okay, you got 20 minutes inside.
Enough time to get warm, grab some food.Copy !req
981. Then it's back to the police car.
No funny business, right?Copy !req
982. Swear?Copy !req
983. On my kids' lives.Copy !req
984. Have to try hickory honey ham.Copy !req
985. It's Blairey's absolute favorite. It's a classic.Copy !req
986. - The food's that way.
- Thanks, son. I appreciate it.Copy !req
987. - We've had ham since she was a little girl.
- Welcome home, Blair.Copy !req
988. - Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.Copy !req
989. I suppose this is your boyfriend.Copy !req
990. - Yes. Honey.
- Hi, I'm Enrique DeCardenal.Copy !req
991. - Call me Marty.
- Houston, we have a name.Copy !req
992. - Is that a Peruvian accent?
- How could you tell?Copy !req
993. I lived there for five years. I miss it so much.Copy !req
994. - I'm going to talk to Marty for a second.
- Okay. Go ahead.Copy !req
995. He's charming.Copy !req
996. - Who is that?
- You know Marty. Everybody knows Marty.Copy !req
997. Merry Christmas.Copy !req
998. Aren't you sweet?Copy !req
999. Bless you.Copy !req
1000. I would like to propose a toast, if I may.Copy !req
1001. Here's to my new family and friends.Copy !req
1002. Thank you for making me feel so welcome.Copy !req
1003. And I just wanted to say...Copy !req
1004. thank you to all of you.Copy !req
1005. To our friends and our neighbors...Copy !req
1006. for helping us make this...Copy !req
1007. really, the most wonderful
Christmas Eve ever.Copy !req
1008. You really have shown us
the true meaning of community.Copy !req
1009. And thank you all so much.Copy !req
1010. Merry Christmas.Copy !req
1011. Same goes for me, double.Copy !req
1012. Cheers.Copy !req
1013. Fellas, how about a party tune?Copy !req
1014. G.Copy !req
1015. That was it?
That was the best you could come up with?Copy !req
1016. I'm not really good at toasts.Copy !req
1017. After all they've done...Copy !req
1018. you couldn't just come up
with a simple "thank you"?Copy !req
1019. I did. It was just short and sweet.Copy !req
1020. You're still moping...Copy !req
1021. because you don't get to go
on your precious little cruise.Copy !req
1022. There's still time.Copy !req
1023. - What?
- We could still go.Copy !req
1024. Listen to me.Copy !req
1025. Enrique and Blair can stay here,
have the house to themselves.Copy !req
1026. We go, and we all have a romantic getaway.Copy !req
1027. Your daughter just flew
thousands of miles home...Copy !req
1028. with her very sweet future husband...Copy !req
1029. to spend Christmas with us.Copy !req
1030. You know...Copy !req
1031. I've spent six weeks planning
for this vacation.Copy !req
1032. That's longer than they've been dating.Copy !req
1033. Everyone out there sacrificed
their Christmas Eve to help us.Copy !req
1034. I thought maybe that might affect you.Copy !req
1035. Maybe have you start thinking about
putting others first instead of yourself.Copy !req
1036. But I really don't think that's possible.Copy !req
1037. It's a shame.Copy !req
1038. Why don't we move in a little?Copy !req
1039. Hi, how are you? Merry Christmas to you.Copy !req
1040. It's cold out there.Copy !req
1041. Bravo!Copy !req
1042. Luther!Copy !req
1043. Frosty?Copy !req
1044. Merry Christmas, Luther.Copy !req
1045. Merry Christmas to you, too, Walt.Copy !req
1046. - You're missing your party.
- Well, there's...Copy !req
1047. How's Bev?Copy !req
1048. She's having a good day. Yeah, thanks.Copy !req
1049. We started over to see Blair,
but, you know, the snow started and...Copy !req
1050. So how's the boyfriend?Copy !req
1051. You know, actually,
he's a very nice young man.Copy !req
1052. - Merry Christmas, Luther.
- Merry Christmas to you, too, Bev.Copy !req
1053. - You feeling okay?
- That was a pretty nasty fall.Copy !req
1054. It could've been worse.
I mean, that cord could've snapped and...Copy !req
1055. You know, Nora wanted me to drop this by.Copy !req
1056. I'm allergic to pork,
and Bev's not much of a meat-eater.Copy !req
1057. Not to worry, because Mel's hams
are generally just filled...Copy !req
1058. with a gelatin and a fat-like substance.
Please.Copy !req
1059. It's very thoughtful, Luther.Copy !req
1060. You know, have a good one.Copy !req
1061. Could I come in for a minute?Copy !req
1062. Thanks.Copy !req
1063. Blair's gonna be staying with us
for 10 days...Copy !req
1064. so we're not taking the cruise.Copy !req
1065. And Nora and I would like you guys
to have it.Copy !req
1066. Flight leaves at 12:00 noon tomorrow.Copy !req
1067. You got to be there
two hours ahead of time.Copy !req
1068. It's 10 days in the Caribbean.
Islands and beaches. The works.Copy !req
1069. It's a dream vacation.Copy !req
1070. We can't take it, Luther. It's not right.Copy !req
1071. I didn't purchase the travel insurance.Copy !req
1072. So if you don't take it,
the whole package is wasted.Copy !req
1073. I'm not sure my doctor would allow it.Copy !req
1074. I've got that Lexon deal on the front burner.Copy !req
1075. Benny said he might stop by tomorrow.Copy !req
1076. And we couldn't leave the cat.Copy !req
1077. This is from us to you.Copy !req
1078. This is a sincere, heartfelt...Copy !req
1079. no-strings-attached Christmas offering...Copy !req
1080. to two very selfless people
who are, at this moment...Copy !req
1081. having a very difficult time
looking for an excuse.Copy !req
1082. Benny did say he might stop by.Copy !req
1083. Face it, Bev,
Benny hasn't been home in years.Copy !req
1084. Look, I've got everything right here.Copy !req
1085. I got airline tickets.
I got cruise passes. I've got a brochure.Copy !req
1086. What's it cost? If we decide to go,
we'd want to reimburse you.Copy !req
1087. This is a simple gift, Walt.Copy !req
1088. No costs, no payback.
Don't make it complicated.Copy !req
1089. - Our names aren't on the tickets.
- I know. I'll take care of that.Copy !req
1090. What about the cat?Copy !req
1091. Yeah, that's a problem, huh?
Too late to call the kennel.Copy !req
1092. We can't just leave him.Copy !req
1093. We could ask Jude Becker.Copy !req
1094. She's allergic.Copy !req
1095. I'll take the cat.Copy !req
1096. - What?
- Are you sure?Copy !req
1097. Yeah.Copy !req
1098. Look at that.Copy !req
1099. See? Maybe if you don't step on him
so often...Copy !req
1100. Yeah. It'll be fine.Copy !req
1101. - Thank you so much.
- Merry Christmas.Copy !req
1102. Well, I should get back to my party.Copy !req
1103. This means so much.Copy !req
1104. Thank you.Copy !req
1105. You're welcome.Copy !req
1106. Does this mean we have to start
being nice to each other?Copy !req
1107. - Of course not.
- Good.Copy !req
1108. Because I still don't like you
that much, old man.Copy !req
1109. That's good.Copy !req
1110. I'm not that fond of you, either.Copy !req
1111. Bev, we gotta pack!Copy !req
1112. Luther! Help me!Copy !req
1113. Ned!
What in God's name are you doing up there?Copy !req
1114. Blair came home.Copy !req
1115. Frohmeyer took down the ladder.Copy !req
1116. He went inside, forgot about me.Copy !req
1117. Have you been up there all this time?Copy !req
1118. I'm frozen, stuck to Frosty!Copy !req
1119. I'll get you down!Copy !req
1120. What are you doing?Copy !req
1121. You swore on your kids' lives!Copy !req
1122. - What kids?
- Help! Police!Copy !req
1123. Easy, come on.Copy !req
1124. Go on inside. Drink something hot.Copy !req
1125. Get down from there. Get down off the roof!Copy !req
1126. My car.Copy !req
1127. You all right?Copy !req
1128. What's in that bag?Copy !req
1129. Not bad.Copy !req
1130. Good job, Santa. All right, come on.
Get up here. Let's go.Copy !req
1131. - You swore to me.
- I'm growing tired of catching you.Copy !req
1132. - What's this all about? What's going on?
- I told you you could use an umbrella.Copy !req
1133. What?Copy !req
1134. - Marty.
- Yes.Copy !req
1135. Wait. You're the guy that was selling
the umbrellas in the rain, aren't you?Copy !req
1136. It's a living.
I meet a lot of nice people this way.Copy !req
1137. I got to run because I can't pass up
this kind of weather.Copy !req
1138. It's always good for business.
Thank you for the party.Copy !req
1139. You're welcome.
I'm sorry you got to work on Christmas Eve.Copy !req
1140. Santa always has to work on Christmas Eve.Copy !req
1141. Yeah, I suppose he does.Copy !req
1142. Merry Christmas!Copy !req
1143. Bev Scheel just called.Copy !req
1144. Maybe I was wrong about you.Copy !req
1145. This night is full of surprises.Copy !req
1146. Skipping Christmas. What a stupid idea.Copy !req
1147. Maybe next year.Copy !req
1148. Merry Christmas!Copy !req