Chef (2014)

1. You walk here?

2. Alright, good. Turn around.

3. Legs out.

4. The bag.

5. Gotta still hit the farmers' market.

6. - What time is it? - 10:00-ish.

7. It's 10:00?

8. I gotta pick up the kid. Where's Tony?

9. Tony and I were out late last night. But don't worry, he's gonna be here.

10. - You got this? - Yes.

11. He's not gonna flake. Neither am I.

12. Hey. Hey, hey, hey!

13. - Yes, Chef. - Wake up.

14. We got a critic coming today.

15. Why you think I slept here for, bro?

16. Let's get going on the soup. We're behind on the egg prep.

17. And get the mise on the steak. You still shitfaced?

18. - No, I'm good. I'm good, Chef. - Alright.

19. Help Martin with the pig. We got the pig.

20. Lechon!

21. - Hey, pal. - Hey.

22. Buckle up, buddy. Sorry I'm late.

23. I'm used to it.

24. Listen, pal, I don't think we have time to catch a movie today.

25. Is it 'cause you're getting reviewed?

26. - Yeah, how'd you know about that? - Mom told me.

27. What'd she say?

28. She said you might be a little worried.

29. - She said I was worried? - Yeah.

30. Well, Mom doesn't know me that well, OK?

31. - She's pretty spot-on about you. - Oh, yeah?

32. You know what Mommy thinks I should be doing?

33. - What? - That I should get a food truck.

34. - I like food trucks. - Yeah, I like food trucks.

35. Who doesn't like food trucks?

36. Can you picture me driving a food truck? I'm a chef.

37. I work in a restaurant.

38. Listen, I gotta go to the farmers' market, pick up some ingredients.

39. OK. Can I come?

40. I thought I'd drop you off at the restaurant.

41. - Molly's there. - No, I wanna go with you.

42. - You're not gonna ask me for everything you see? -No.

43. It's not about you eating, it's about me buying groceries.

44. - I know. - OK. Good.

45. - You got the purple and white? - Just orange.

46. Just orange? Alright, give me six bunches of those.

47. - Or eight of the small. - Dad.

48. Hang on a second, buddy. And on the radishes here, I use the tops, OK?

49. - I need consistent tops. - Dad.

50. Is that what's happening? Six of these. Let's see what we got.

51. - Dad. - What do you want, Percy?

52. - Can I please have kettle corn? - Daddy's working, OK?

53. No, you're not gonna get kettle...

54. - Why don't you get a piece of fruit? - I don't want fruit.

55. How can you even ask for kettle corn? You know what it is?

56. - No. - It's carbs covered with sugar, OK?

57. Look at this piece of fruit.

58. It's beautiful.

59. How could you even want kettle corn

60. with gorgeous fruit like this in front of you?

61. Why don't you have a piece of fruit?

62. So apparently they're sending a big reviewer

63. who's also some huge food blogger.

64. - You know what a food blogger is? - Yeah.

65. A guy who writes about food on the internet.

66. I know what a food blogger is.

67. Well, this guy's a big one, and a lot of these big guys,

68. they don't like me.

69. They got it in for me because I got good write-ups when I started out.

70. - They're haters. - Exactly.

71. We didn't have that word when I was growing up.

72. There was no word for hater.

73. The most you would say is that somebody was, like, jealous,

74. which didn't really capture it.

75. The sausage guy's here. You ever try andouille sausage?

76. - No. - It's spicy.

77. - You like spicy? - No.

78. It's not so spicy. Come on.

79. That's from New Orleans. You ever heard of New Orleans?

80. - Yeah. - Yeah?

81. It's part of the United States.

82. It's part of the Louisiana Purchase from Napoleon.

83. Yeah. Um, that was...

84. I mean, like, now. That was a long time ago.

85. - 1803. - Whatever.

86. Talking about the food, the culture, you know?

87. Like this andouille sausage.

88. - Beignets. You ever hear of that? - We can get it here.

89. Not the same.

90. When you have it here, it's good because it reminds you of,

91. like, a whole world of memories that you have of being there.

92. 'Cause it's like... I'm telling you, it's like a whole different world.

93. - We should go there sometime. - Definitely.

94. - For real? - Yeah.

95. I mean, not now.

96. - But, like... - When?

97. I don't know. I got... Everything's very full for me.

98. - I got this reviewer coming. - After the review?

99. Yeah, after review. That'd be good.

100. I'm off school next month.

101. Next month? Yeah. We could go next month.

102. - Awesome. - Or whatever. Or, like, if you're...

103. If it doesn't... I'll ask Mom.

104. If it doesn't work out next month, we'll go later.

105. - But we'll definitely check it out. - I already did. She's cool with it.

106. You asked her already?

107. Where'd you get a phone? How come you have a phone already?

108. Everybody your age have phones?

109. Yo, Popeye, get the sauce on there, OK?

110. Whose bacon is this? I gotta watch this too?

111. When I find out who it is, grab your ankles, 'cause here comes papi chulo.

112. Where we at? Talk to me, people. How we doing?

113. The stock's simmering, the pig's broken down, bacon are fine.

114. The stock is simmering. That means reducing.

115. Good. Guys, big night tonight. You all know what's happening?

116. Yeah? OK, let me know as soon as he's here.

117. I want people having fun at all the tables around.

118. Call your pretty friends, bring 'em in. Tell 'em the tickets are on me.

119. The stemware looks crooked. Let's get out there.

120. Don't make me get the fucking ruler out. Thank you.

121. - Oh, Chef. - I got the good shit.

122. - You see this, Martin? - Look at that. That's a specimen.

123. - Baby carrots. - I got you curry paste with...

124. - Copy that. Copy that. - Carl.

125. Not right now, please.

126. Where the fuck did you get these juicy-ass tomatoes?

127. - Riva's here. - OK, you got it? Let's get...

128. What the hell's Riva doing here?

129. I don't know. He was on his way back here.

130. I got him espresso, bought you five minutes of time.

131. You should meet him out on the floor.

132. Stall him for five minutes. Let me get the staff going. Please.

133. OK. Fine. Expect him to come back here.

134. Yeah, thank you.

135. How you gonna keep that psychopath from coming back here?

136. - You gotta have a plan. - You want me to pickle these?

137. Yeah, pickle these. I want you to pickle...

138. - Is Carl in there? - Yeah.

139. Hey, Carl!

140. Carl.

141. Are you... are you planning on altering the menu?

142. Yeah, I can't do this right now. Please, just...

143. - You know a lot is on the line today. - I know.

144. That's why the menu has to be perfect.

145. - But I can help you plan it. - I can't do this right now.

146. Give me five minutes with my staff, I'll walk you through the menu.

147. I've done this before. I can help guide you.

148. I don't need guidance right now. I need space.

149. Thank you.

150. Could we have a little privacy, guys?

151. I ask you to leave, you gotta look at Carl?

152. OK, everybody, tomen cinco. Take five.

153. - You good? - I got it. Go, go, go.

154. Grab a coffee.

155. - Let's get something straight. - Yeah.

156. You don't fucking talk to my staff like that. I talk to my staff.

157. That side of the pass is you, this side is me.

158. That was the arrangement when you hired me.

159. OK, now will you listen to me for a minute?

160. Carl, I get ideas. Sometimes my ideas work.

161. I really don't care what magazine said that you're the next big thing.

162. The fact is, you work for me, in my restaurant, right?

163. I've had chefs before you in this kitchen.

164. - I'll have chefs after you. OK? - Alright, good talk.

165. - Let me get back to work. - You know who's coming tonight.

166. We're being reviewed by the most important critic in the city.

167. - Yes. I'm aware. - His online blog was sold to AOL...

168. - For $10 million. - That's right.

169. - You knew that? - Yes, I know.

170. He's a big deal.

171. - That's why I wanna cook a good menu. - You wanna cook a good menu?

172. - I wanna cook him some good food. - Yeah. Well, then...

173. And our place is in a fucking creative rut.

174. - In a rut? - In a creative rut.

175. You do know we're doing better than any place in the neighbourhood?

176. I'm not talking about how much money we're making,

177. I'm talking about creatively - the food that we're serving.

178. We've served the same food for five years.

179. Remember what happened when you put guts on the menu?

180. Are you talking about my sweetbreads? Is that what you mean?

181. Yeah. When you put that artsy shit on the menu, people don't like it.

182. Not one person ordered your sweetbreads.

183. Please listen to me.

184. I sank a fortune into the remodel to get you the French cooking top,

185. whatever it is, that tabletop.

186. - French cooking suite. - Right.

187. Not every chef gets that. You know why you get it?

188. - I appreciate it. - Do you know why?

189. Because you deserve it.

190. See, you don't know that. But I know it.

191. You deserve it.

192. So be smart just for tonight.

193. Look, if you bought Stones tickets

194. and Jagger didn't play 'Satisfaction', how would you feel?

195. Would you be happy?

196. - No. - No!

197. You'd burn the place to the fucking ground.

198. Your menu works.

199. People love it.

200. Carl, do what you want tonight. OK? You're the chef.

201. You know what I think?

202. I think you should play your hits.

203. Alright, let's go. Pre-shift, guys.

204. Big night tonight.

205. Here's what we're doing.

206. We're gonna go with the favourites.

207. Starting with the caviar egg...

208. ... scallop, French onion soup...

209. ... frisée salad...

210. ... lobster risotto...

211. ... filet.

212. And we're gonna finish strong with a crowd pleaser,

213. chocolate lava cake.

214. Talk to Molly about wine pairings.

215. Let me know when he gets here. And let's have fun.

216. Put your heart in it, people, big night. Let's have some fun.

217. Good, good.

218. Dad.

219. Dad.

220. Dad! Come on. Let's go.

221. Look! It's up, it's up. It's up, it's up. The review's up.

222. To the review. Here we go.

223. - To you, baby, to you. - Here we go.

224. - My culinary hero. - To the team.

225. "Gauloises - eager to please."

226. - Whoo! - Yes!

227. "10 years ago, I had the good fortune to dine

228. "at Chef Casper's revelatory Miami bistro, Marrow."

229. - Miami in the house! - Marrow, baby!

230. That's your house!

231. "The sheer audacity of this fresh, brave voice of the culinary scene

232. "reminded me why I write about food as a vocation."

233. - Yeah! - That's a lot of pressure.

234. "It is nearly impossible to separate my glowing regard for Chef Casper

235. "and how much he inspired me from my expectations as I sat down to dine

236. "at the recently remodelled Brentwood Gallic staple, Gauloises."

237. - Yeah, this is good! - "Oh, how times have changed.

238. "Over the last decade, Carl Casper has somehow managed to transform himself

239. "from the edgiest chef in Miami

240. "to the needy aunt that gives you $5 every time you see her

241. "in hopes that you will like her,

242. "but instead causes you to shrink from her cloying embrace

243. "which threatens to smother you in her saggy, moist cleavage.

244. "The signature app,

245. "intended to impress the country club brunch crowd,

246. "is the caviar egg.

247. "A shirred egg topped with a dollop of caviar

248. "is an excuse for the chef to overcharge us

249. "for his insecurity and lack of imagination.

250. "Carl Casper can best be summed up by the first bite of his needy

251. "and yet by some miracle also irrelevant

252. "chocolate lava cake.

253. "Casper didn't even have the courage to undercook the cake,

254. "thus curiously lacking its signature molten centre."

255. "This sad dessert is emblematic

256. "of Carl Casper's disappointing new chapter.

257. "His dramatic... weight gain can only be explained

258. "by the fact that he must be eating

259. "all the food sent back to the kitchen."

260. Two stars.

261. I don't get it. I don't get it.

262. Everyone loved it. He loved it, even.

263. Then why'd he write all that mean shit about me? About my food?

264. Who cares? Who cares?

265. I do. 'Cause I could have done better.

266. I should have cooked the shit I was gonna cook.

267. You're ignoring the fact that everyone was happy

268. and you're making a problem where there's no problem.

269. It's not hard to make people happy.

270. There's certain things you could put on a menu that'll make everybody happy.

271. If you put ahi tuna on a menu, it will sell out.

272. It's guaranteed. You know that.

273. But I cooked the beef cheek, which is a better dish,

274. and nobody wants to even try it.

275. - It was good, though. - Yeah, for family meal.

276. Well, who you cooking for, though?

277. That's my point. Why do I have to pick?

278. Why do I have to choose? Why can't I have both?

279. There are chefs that cook food that they believe in

280. and people will try because they're open to a new experience

281. and they'll end up liking it.

282. - What do you want me to say to you? - The truth.

283. You want me to tell you that you're the best chef

284. that I ever worked with.

285. And it's true, because you are.

286. You are, Carl. You are the best chef I've ever worked with.

287. I mean it.

288. Well, thank you.

289. You're welcome.

290. - We both agreed not to do that. - I know.

291. Why don't I just cook you something?

292. Oh, OK. Fuck it. Let's go.

293. Mom wants to talk to you.

294. Inez?

295. Inez.

296. Are you OK?

297. I got two stars.

298. Getting two stars is good, right?

299. I mean, I don't read that shit normally, but, you know,

300. then he starts writing all this personal shit about me and...

301. How many people you got working? You got, like, 50 people.

302. And Percy's 10 years old. Does he still need a nanny?

303. He's in school all day. What does she even do here? Hi, Flora.

304. - Hi, Mr Carl. - I mean, what does he need...

305. - What's she doing here? - You know that he's hurt, right?

306. Because I was late? I already apologised to him. We're fine.

307. Late? He waited for you for one hour alone outside.

308. Well, I didn't realise it was that long.

309. It's just... that was the day that...

310. You're right.

311. I didn't like what they wrote about you.

312. I didn't like it either.

313. It hurt, alright?

314. You OK?

315. I'm alright.

316. Good.

317. I'm gonna make it up to him.

318. - That was fun, right? - Yeah.

319. - Where you going? - I gotta work on a menu.

320. It's still early. Can I watch?

321. Yeah, sorry, it's at work.

322. - I won't get in the way. - Yeah, I gotta go work.

323. - OK. 'Bye. - We'll have fun next week.

324. What the hell are you doing here, man? What's this madness?

325. - This is crazy. - Yeah.

326. - You didn't go home, did you? - No.

327. - Come here. Check it out. - Go home, man.

328. - You've been here all night. Go home. - Come here.

329. Get some sleep. Fuck Twitter. Come on, get outta here.

330. "Fuck Twitter"? What are you talking about, "Fuck Twitter"?

331. I mean, you know, fuck 'em. That's what I mean.

332. - Who reads that shit anyhow? - I'm not on Twitter.

333. I don't know what you're talking about.

334. Nothing. Just classic bullshit. What is that?

335. - That's carne asada. Check it out. - Wow.

336. Wow!

337. - Good? - It's fucking unbelievable, man.

338. - Is it? - Holy shit!

339. - No, seriously. - No, I'm serious.

340. - Tell me the truth. - I'm telling you the truth.

341. - It's incredible. - Is it good seasoning?

342. - The seasoning's perfect. - Roll that shit!

343. Chef Big Dog up all night cooking!

344. - Come on in, buddy. - Come here.

345. - Tony, check this out. - Shut up and taste this, amuse douche.

346. - Come here. - What we got?

347. - Wow. - It's good?

348. Look at that.

349. - Too much heat? - That's perfect, Chef.

350. - It's good? Seasoning? - Oh, it's perfect.

351. - It's nice and spicy. - You like it?

352. - Oh, man. - Ha, jefe? Look at that.

353. - I do. - Yeah?

354. - It's fucking great. - Is it good?

355. - Don't fuck with me. - But it's so good.

356. - See, jefe? I told you. - It's flavourful as fuck, man.

357. - It's nice, right? - Umm.

358. - Is it good? - Yo, Big Dog, fuck Twitter.

359. "Fuck Twitter". Again with the "Fuck Twitter".

360. Why should I fuck Twitter?

361. - You're not on Twitter? - No.

362. You're getting too much pussy? Is that the problem?

363. It's gotta be, right?

364. What does Twitter have to do with pussy?

365. Have you not heard of the term 'social networking'?

366. - Yeah. - Well, that's what it is.

367. - It means pussy? - Like, pussy.

368. Or, like, getting tickets to something.

369. - Or finding about a new band. - Flash mobs. That kind of stuff.

370. - Anything that requires a database. - So pussy requires a database?

371. Yeah!

372. So show me what's on Twitter that's so bad that I should see.

373. - Oh, shit, is that gochujang? - Nothing. Nothing.

374. - Damn, you made fucking gochujang? - Yeah, that's under the squab.

375. But he's gonna 86 it. Riva's gonna 86 it, I know.

376. - Yo, this gochujang is good. - Don't worry about fucking Riva.

377. He ain't gonna let you serve that Korean shit.

378. Let me handle him. Don't worry about that. I got it.

379. He says I can cook whatever I want.

380. - Alright. Alright. - We're gonna cook like this.

381. - Did you try that? Oh, hey. - Oh, man.

382. That's broccoli rabe I'anchois. Check this out.

383. This is ridiculous.

384. - What you got over there? - I got...

385. - Mom cuts off the crust. - Yeah, well, I don't.

386. - It's good. - You bet your ass it's good.

387. Can you turn that down, please?

388. Oh, sorry.

389. Arrgh!

390. You know about Twitter?

391. - Yeah, I have an account. - Yeah?

392. - How's it work? - It's cool.

393. It's cool? That's how it works, it's cool?

394. - You tweet on it. - Is that like texting?

395. No.

396. Sign me up.

397. So, what do you want your username to be?

398. Carl.

399. You can't just put Carl. It has to be 'at something'.

400. At Carl Casper.

401. @CarlCasper.

402. - Taken. - Someone took my name?

403. @ChefCarlCasper? Is that cool?

404. Yeah, that's good.

405. At... Chef...

406. ... Carl... Casper.

407. So is this for sex?

408. Eww! Is that what you're doing this for?

409. No, I'm not doing it for that. Someone wrote something bad.

410. I wanna see what they wrote.

411. Good.

412. Oh, shit.

413. Hey. You can't talk like that.

414. I don't care if Mommy's not around. I don't want you cursing around here.

415. - That review went viral. - What does that mean?

416. It means it got picked up and re-tweeted everywhere.

417. So all these people have read the review?

418. - Yeah. - Oh, shit.

419. - I think it's kinda cool. - I don't.

420. - No, I mean, us doing this. - Doing what?

421. You know, just hanging out.

422. We hang out all the time.

423. No, like, hanging out and doing something.

424. Well, we do things.

425. No, not just, like, watching something or doing something.

426. Like, hanging out and talking.

427. And learning things from each other.

428. I figured, you know, with you living at Mom's house

429. and me working all the time, when we hung out, you liked to do fun things.

430. I think this is kinda fun. You know, just figuring stuff out.

431. Like when you lived at home.

432. Yeah, I miss that too.

433. Then why don't you move back home?

434. Percy, I can't just...

435. You're not the reason that I'm not living at home. You know that, right?

436. 'Cause it's true.

437. - Then why? - Then why what?

438. Well, why don't you live home?

439. Well, Mommy and Daddy, you know,

440. we... we both grew apart, in different directions.

441. But we're still really good friends.

442. It's just better if we don't live in the same house.

443. - And that we're not married. - Oh.

444. - You understand? - No.

445. It's hard to explain.

446. Hey, listen, could we twitter each other when we're not in the same place?

447. - Yeah. - Could you show me how to do that?

448. Yeah. OK.

449. So, first you click here and you have to enter your username.

450. - Right. - You could also log in on your iPhone.

451. You click this button here,

452. it posts your feed so all your followers can read it.

453. - Dad? - Yeah.

454. You got 1,653 followers since last night.

455. - Oh, is that good? - It's amazing.

456. Oh, good. What does it mean?

457. It means that 1,653 people are reading your Twitter feed.

458. I thought it was like texting.

459. Did you post anything since last night?

460. - No. - Are you sure?

461. Yeah, I just sent a private message to somebody.

462. - To who? - To that A-hole food critic.

463. You could only send private messages to people who are following you.

464. I think you might have posted that publicly.

465. No, he wrote something nasty about me and then I hit reply

466. and it let me send a message to him.

467. Dad, replies are public. Everybody can read them.

468. And it looks like he re-tweeted it

469. to all his 123,845 followers.

470. And he wrote back.

471. What did he say?

472. - I don't think I should read it. - Just...

473. Can you read it to me, please?

474. Read the reply.

475. "@ChefCarlCasper -

476. "I would rather have you sit on my face

477. "after a brisk walk on a warm day

478. "than suffer through that fucking lava cake again."

479. He wrote that to me?

480. He wrote it to everybody.

481. - You gotta be kidding me. - Wow.

482. You realise how many people have read this?

483. I'm up to 2,000 followers since last night.

484. - You're trending, bro. - They're sending me messages.

485. They're goading me into responding to this prick.

486. - Don't do it. Don't do it, man. - Don't do that, Chef.

487. - Don't respond. Take the high road. - I know.

488. But half the people are saying he's right.

489. Yeah, but half the people are saying he's wrong.

490. - That's the fucking internet. - That's right. Listen to him.

491. - That's social media. You on Twitter? - Yeah, I'm Twitter.

492. - What's your name? - Little Marty.

493. But all the people following me, I don't wanna hang out during the day.

494. I avoid all... Oh, hey, hey, hey, what are you doing?

495. - This guy. - Don't. What are you writing?

496. Chef, don't... That's not a good idea.

497. Just listen. I won't send it until we all say it's OK.

498. "Why don't you come by again tonight?

499. "I got a whole new menu just for you, asshole."

500. - No, gimme the phone. - That's not good. Not a good idea.

501. Don't do it!

502. - That's out there now, bro. - It happened.

503. - Why'd you do that? - You can't take that back.

504. You know what? I threw down the gauntlet.

505. So get ready for a fight.

506. I'm gonna go drop Percy off and come back

507. and cook the menu we should've cooked last time.

508. - So where are we going today? - I gotta drop you off, kid.

509. I gotta go shopping for tonight. I'm sorry.

510. - Can I come with you? - No, I'm sorry.

511. How come I'm, like, never allowed to be in the kitchen?

512. Because it's hot and it's loud and there's a lot of bad language.

513. So? I hear bad language all the time.

514. - Where? - Online.

515. What kind of website could a 10-year-old get on that has bad language?

516. - YouTube. - YouTube has bad language?

517. Could I at least come shopping with you?

518. No.

519. I got a lot to do and a lot on my mind.

520. Look who's waiting for us. Hi, Mommy.

521. Come here. I miss you. Give me a kiss.

522. - Hi. - Hi.

523. So my publicist said that she can talk to you.

524. - Why don't you talk to her? - About what?

525. - About Twitter? - Everybody's reading what you wrote.

526. - I don't think you get it. - Get what?

527. Let's call her. Go inside with me and we'll call her.

528. Yes, please, tell her to call me immediately.

529. I have Carl with me. I'm at home. Thank you.

530. - Alright, I'm gonna go. - No, no, she's gonna call right back.

531. - She was on the other line. - You're making more of this than it is.

532. I just don't like to see you like this.

533. Like what? I'm fine. I have to get to work.

534. You're never going to be happy cooking for someone else.

535. Is this about the food truck? I don't wanna talk about it again.

536. Why not? You can cook your own food. You can be your own boss.

537. I can book you for all the parties that I'm doing.

538. I appreciate the offer, but I don't need any charity

539. from you or your ex-husband.

540. - Why are you being so proud? - Because I'm working.

541. And despite what you might think,

542. I have complete freedom to cook whatever I want now.

543. I like my life.

544. And as far as your publicist goes, when she calls back, you let her know

545. that I understand I shouldn't tweet any pictures of my dick

546. and any career advice should be kept to oneself.

547. OK? I'll see you later. Thank you.

548. - I got all this shit in the trunk. - Want me to do this?

549. - Is it on? - Yeah. We're doing it.

550. - We're doing it, guys. - Come on. Let's get everything out.

551. I want the Cambros, the delis out so we can start plating, OK?

552. Carl, can you tell me what's going on for tonight?

553. No, no, no, how many covers do we have tonight?

554. How many? We are overbooked. But I just printed out all the menus.

555. Good. It's not the menu you got printed. It's different.

556. - That's what I understand. - We're doing a tasting menu.

557. - Carl, I have to put the wine... - A tasting menu for Ramsey Michel.

558. - I know, but we... - He's coming. He knows about it.

559. - Did you see the 'Eater' article? - I did.

560. - I'm so excited for you. - It's all over the internet.

561. - I love it when you're like this. - Taste the food.

562. Bring in the waitstaff, have 'em taste the food.

563. Make them understand what we're going for.

564. We're not pushing specials today. The whole menu is special.

565. - I'm excited. - I'm excited. I'm finally happy.

566. I'm happy, OK?

567. Am I allowed to be happy at work?

568. Carl. Carl. We're staying with the same menu, right?

569. I have something really good planned for tonight.

570. I'm gonna let you... It's not sweetbreads.

571. - You're gonna be able to taste it. - That may be true.

572. But we have the most reservations on a work night since we opened.

573. - You realise that? - I know. I was on Twitter.

574. - Yeah. - I was promoting the restaurant.

575. - I was on Twitter. - What? Yeah, that's another thing.

576. From now on, before you post anything online, I OK it. Alright?

577. The whole reason everybody's here tonight

578. is because I called out Ramsey Michel online

579. and they're all coming to watch me stick it in his ass.

580. Yeah, and you're gonna twitter an apology

581. for calling the most respected critic in Los Angeles an asshole.

582. - I'm not gonna fucking apologise. - What do you mean, you're not...

583. - You see what he wrote about me? - I don't give a fuck...

584. - He started it! - ... what he wrote. I don't care.

585. You're a cook. You're a chef.

586. This is what you've been cooking for years, and it works.

587. And either you cook the menu that our customers have come to ex...

588. - You want me to cook the same food? - The same exact...

589. The same food that he ripped apart? The same guy who's coming tonight?

590. The restaurant isn't filled with critics!

591. It's filled with people that've been eating your food

592. for the last 10 years!

593. So now, suddenly, you're gonna be an artist.

594. Well, be an artist on your own time.

595. - Listen to me. - No sweetbreads!

596. - Listen! - No calves' brains.

597. I'm not cooking sweetbreads! Listen to me.

598. The kitchen is my domain. That was our deal.

599. I don't give a fuck what the deal was!

600. The deal is now changed. Either you stay or you go.

601. It's up to you. End of discussion.

602. - We got a full house of people... -Yeah. - ... who are coming tonight... -Yeah.

603. - ... to eat my food. - No, it's not your food, Carl.

604. It's not your food.

605. By definition, it's my food because it's my restaurant.

606. I pay for the glasses. I pay for the napkins.

607. I pay for the spoons. I pay for Molly's salary.

608. I pay for your entire stafs salary, OK?

609. So you either cook my menu or Tony can.

610. Tony, you've been cooking it half the time anyway.

611. Tell the truth. Right?

612. So you're threatening to fire me now?

613. Am I threatening to fire you?

614. No, I'm telling you what I'm prepared to do

615. if you don't cook my menu.

616. Subject closed.

617. Well, why don't you cook the menu without a chef

618. and we see how it goes tonight?

619. Let's go, Tony. Fuck this.

620. Tony.

621. Good luck.

622. - Oh, no way. - Good luck, Jack.

623. - No way, man! - Martin, Martin.

624. - No. Hell, no. Come on. - You stay. Stay.

625. Martin, come on. Let me go, buddy. Don't do it.

626. Don't do it. Just stay.

627. - Call me. Call me. - You'd better believe it, yeah.

628. Tony, you got a full house tonight. Be a pro, OK?

629. Let's go! Get the leg on. Coming up.

630. Get that lava cake out, table 22.

631. Bring that shit back. Bring that shit back.

632. This is table 22.

633. Just a moment, please.

634. No, no, we gotta chiz this. You didn't chiz it.

635. Welcome back.

636. Lovely to see you again, Mr Michel. Right this way.

637. Thank you.

638. - I hope traffic wasn't too bad. - No, it wasn't.

639. - 30, I got one. - Table 30's still missing the risotto.

640. What's going on with all these tickets, man?

641. Yes? How can I help you?

642. Isn't this, um...

643. Wasn't this on the menu last time I... I... I visited?

644. I believe it was.

645. I was under the impression that tonight was gonna somehow be...

646. I understand.

647. Is there something we can do to make you more comfortable?

648. Um... could I actually...

649. Could I speak with the chef? With Chef Casper?

650. I have a wonderful '09 that I just opened to let breathe.

651. - Um... - If I may?

652. The last time I was in Napa, at the vineyard,

653. they shipped me this bottle as a gift,

654. and I've just been waiting for the right occasion.

655. That... that's very generous of you.

656. Is Chef Casper here?

657. Unfortunately, he was called away.

658. Is he coming back?

659. I'm afraid that was left ambiguous.

660. I need you out front. They're three deep in the bar. Get off the phone.

661. - Please let me do my job. - Please go to the bar.

662. - Tony! - Carl, I can't talk right now.

663. - We are in deep weeds. - This guy's tweeting me.

664. This guy's calling me out online. What the fuck are you serving?

665. I don't know. They're serving the same shit.

666. - What's he eating? - I think he's...

667. - What course is he on? - He's...

668. He's eating the chocolate lava cake right now.

669. You just keep him right where the fuck he is.

670. - What? - I'm parking the car.

671. - Carl, what? - Don't let him leave.

672. Keep the motherfucker there!

673. Is he here? Is the fucker still here?

674. - Oh, fuck. - Let's go into the back of the house.

675. I just wanna say one thing. I just wanna say one thing. Just one thing.

676. Let's go to the kitchen.

677. Stop it. Stop it for a second!

678. Let's just...

679. I've been waiting to talk to this prick for a long time.

680. I am not cloying. I am not needy.

681. I don't care what you think.

682. You're not getting to me. I'm not needy!

683. Chocolate lava cake is not just undercooked chocolate cake.

684. That's not what makes the centre molten.

685. You take a frozen cylinder of ganache and you set it in the ramekin

686. so that as the outside cooks fully, the inside becomes molten!

687. It's fucking molten, see? lts fucking molten, you asshole!

688. And you don't do anything. What do you do?

689. You sit and you eat and you vomit those words back.

690. To make people laugh.

691. You know how hard I work for this shit?

692. Do you know how hard my whole staff works?

693. What sacrifices I make to make you happy

694. and then you just smugly just fucking shit on my shit?

695. - It hurts! - Yes.

696. It fucking hurts when you write that shit!

697. - It hurt you. - It does. It does.

698. He was... He thought you were gonna close his fucking restaurant down!

699. You asshole!

700. And what do you? You just write shit to make...

701. You just make shit up! It was molten!

702. It's fucking molten!

703. Asshole!

704. You're not getting to me.

705. - You're not getting to me! - OK, Carl.

706. - He's not getting to me! - No, he's not.

707. I know, but you're a publicist. Don't you have relationships?

708. Isn't that what you're hired to do? To take these things off the internet?

709. But it's out there.

710. Even if I could persuade one site to pull down one clip,

711. there are a dozen others from other cell phones.

712. What should we... should we at least lawyer up

713. and threaten legal action or something?

714. You threatening them with lawyers builds on a story

715. that's already getting a lot of play.

716. And then you get another week of headlines.

717. And then you got this food critic posting fresh blogs about you nonstop.

718. And they're all getting picked up, and the picked-up headlines

719. are getting picked up by each other.

720. You know, it's absolutely unbelievable.

721. - So... - I've never seen anything like...

722. Wait a second - you're saying there's nothing I could do?

723. To get the footage down? No, that lives forever.

724. Great. Awesome.

725. But there just might be an opportunity here.

726. How can this possibly be an opportunity?

727. Well, I was holding off until we spoke,

728. but I'm fairly certain we have a good shot at 'Hell's Kitchen'.

729. - Wait, what? - The reality show.

730. I don't think you understand what's going on here.

731. I'm a real chef with...

732. - You said you needed money, right? - A job.

733. A job, not money. I need a job, like I had.

734. Well, your Twitter account says you've got 20,000 followers.

735. - That's pretty damn big. - Yeah, I'm gonna cancel the account.

736. - Don't worry. - Don't cancel it!

737. I can get you money to mention a few products.

738. Are you listening? I don't wanna get involved with any of that.

739. - I wanna cook food. - You got two choices.

740. You can either lean into it and work it for all it's worth...

741. Like Honey Boo Boo. I don't want that.

742. You know how much she pulls down? Or her mother?

743. I don't care what she makes. Get to your point.

744. Or go underground and wait till the storm passes. You got two choices.

745. I thought this shit lives forever online.

746. It does, but there's so much news out there and it's so fast

747. and there's so much white noise, nobody remembers anything.

748. OK, thank you for taking the time and walking me through everything.

749. It was very illuminating.

750. Oh, you're hanging up? OK, listen.

751. I want you to call any time. I'm right here.

752. If you can't get me, I'm on a cell phone and I've got a pager.

753. - OK. Thank you, and thank Inez for me. - No, thank you.

754. - And what about 'Hell's Kitchen'? - What about it?

755. - You still want me to pursue it, right? - No, I don't want you to.

756. - OK, I won't call 'em, but I'll email. - Are you not listening to...

757. I'm gonna go, OK? I got a call coming in.

758. OK. Alright. I'll tell you how 'Hell's Kitchen' goes.

759. Fucking idiot.

760. Oh, man.

761. - Hey, Inez. - Hi.

762. - Did you talk to Jen? - Yeah, I just got off with her.

763. - And? - And, you know, it's terrible.

764. What do you want me to tell you? I just wanna cook.

765. Everything is going to work out.

766. Half-a-dozen places tried to poach me when I was back at Gauloises.

767. I'm trying to line up some interviews for next week.

768. That's good.

769. Yeah, so, listen, until this whole job thing works out,

770. could you keep Percy for me?

771. But you're still taking him with you to New Orleans, right?

772. Is he there?

773. I'll tell him.

774. Let me... let me talk to him.

775. Put him on.

776. Hey, Dad. I understand if we can't go to New Orleans.

777. Oh, man, thank you so much for saying that.

778. Just Daddy's so busy with work right now. You're the best.

779. Maybe some other time.

780. Yes, we will, for sure. Thank you.

781. 'Bye.

782. Oh, jefecito.

783. What's up, man? Look, everybody. Jefe's here.

784. Come on, give me some drinks. Something premium.

785. Ketel One for the man.

786. Oh, dude. Oh, you're everywhere.

787. You saw it?

788. - It's bad. How bad is it? - You saw it? You saw it?

789. - I saw it. It's everywhere. - It's terrible.

790. - Is it bad? - You're never gonna work again.

791. I am, though.

792. No, seriously, there are people... there are people who are calling me.

793. - Dude. Oh, great. I'm glad to hear that. - Yes. Yes.

794. I knew you would have something bigger than this.

795. - You don't care about coming back here. - Yeah.

796. So you came back to tell me you got me a gig?

797. 'Cause I'll leave Gauloises like that, baby.

798. No. Trust me, the first phone call as soon as something becomes real.

799. - Don't leave me behind again. - I will not.

800. - Don't ever do that again. - Don't hit me.

801. - This guy. - Please don't hit me. I'm sorry.

802. I'm really sorry. I was on the spot, bro.

803. I had been drinking that day. I... I... I didn't know what to do.

804. - I'm a pussy, basically. I'm sorry. - It's OK. It's over.

805. - I vouch for that. - It's fine. What are you gonna do?

806. - It's a big opport... - But then they put you on YouTube.

807. And I felt so responsible for that shit.

808. - That shit was funny, by the way. - What was funny about it?

809. - It's not funny for me. - Just that everybody I know saw it.

810. - I know, I know. - I kinda felt famous by knowing you.

811. Is it a little bit funny? Like... Like, is it... they're laughing at me or with me?

812. A little bit of both.

813. They're laughing with you and at you at the same time.

814. - It's so embarrassing. - Oh, it is terrible. It is so bad.

815. But it's funny too at the same time.

816. It makes you kind of likeable in a weird way.

817. Yeah. That guy deserved it. Everybody knows that guy deserved it.

818. - But, seriously, I'm sorry. - It's alright.

819. You know, I'm gonna land on my feet.

820. - Oh, you will. - Yeah, good. I know.

821. - I'll get my next gig. - I'll be there with you.

822. - Everything will be fine. - I'm your sous-chef now and forever.

823. You're not my sous-chef anymore. You are chef de cuisine.

824. - But I wouldn't even be there... - It doesn't matter.

825. Riva's right about one thing.

826. You are ready to run your own kitchen. So don't blow it.

827. It's a big opportunity for you.

828. - To Tony's big new opportunity. - To Tony's big opportunity.

829. - To chef de cuisine. - I don't like how it happened.

830. - But I'm happy it happened. OK? - Two words, man.

831. You guys. I love you fucking guys.

832. - I love you, Tony. I love you. - Thanks, Chef.

833. Look at that.

834. I love both of you.

835. We love you, man.

836. Let's have a three-way right here. Come on. Come on.

837. - Hang on, hang on. - I love you, man.

838. - I'm glad you made up with him. - Thanks. Did you take the garbage out?

839. The truth of the matter is nobody's calling me.

840. I got no job prospects whatsoever.

841. - What about those offers you got? - No. It's all dried out.

842. - Why, from the online shit? - It must be from the online thing.

843. - Come on. - I'm like a fucking cat playing a piano.

844. I don't even know what that means.

845. I'm everywhere.

846. OK? Like, I'm, like... I'm, like, a meme.

847. Know what a meme is? I'm a meme. I'm a fucking meme.

848. Carl, you need to take a break.

849. I've been on a break. I've had too much of a break.

850. - No, you need a real break. - I need to work.

851. - I need to get back into a kitchen. - You don't. Carl...

852. I wish I never... I should've cooked the shit he wanted me to cook.

853. You gonna go work for another Riva in some other restaurant?

854. You've been miserable here as long as I've known you, Carl.

855. - That's not true. We've had a blast. - Yes, we've had a blast.

856. And now it's time for you to go.

857. You don't belong here anymore. You know it. Come on.

858. What's th... Who's this girl?

859. - Carl. - What?

860. - Be real with me. - I am.

861. You've been ignoring a lot of things in your life

862. that need your attention, like Percy.

863. I'm not dad material right now, if you hadn't noticed.

864. I'm embarrassing.

865. He sees all this shit on the computer.

866. - Well... - His friends have...

867. Maybe it's important for you to talk to him about it, then.

868. - I just... - He needs you, Carl.

869. I'm... I don't know him, OK? He's at a weird age.

870. Why don't you take this time to get to know him?

871. I want you to be happy.

872. You're not happy.

873. You're never gonna be happy here.

874. I don't know what I'm gonna do.

875. I've never not known what I was gonna do. I've always known.

876. There's always been the next thing to do.

877. And now that it's all ended, and I'm, like... I'm, like, fucking lost.

878. I think that's a good place to start.

879. Come here.

880. - You're the best. - Yeah.

881. - I'll hold down the fort. I promise. - OK. You do that.

882. Thank you.

883. Hi, Flora. Percy here?

884. Percy aqui?

885. - He's inside. - Can you tell him I'm here?

886. - Sure. - Thanks.

887. - Hi. - Why are you here?

888. I'm here to see... here to see Percy.

889. - Oh. - It's been a while.

890. I'm glad you're here, but why didn't you call to say that you were coming?

891. - I don't know, because... - He said he's sleeping.

892. - OK. I'm gonna go talk to him. - No, no, wait one second.

893. She said he says he's sleeping, but if he was sleeping,

894. she'd just say he's sleeping, so he's not sleeping.

895. - Let me talk to him. - Can you talk to me for one second first?

896. Please? Come.

897. Percy and I are going to Miami to see my father.

898. So why don't you come with us?

899. - What? - Yeah, come with us.

900. You want me to go... I can't come with you to Miami.

901. I don't... I got all...

902. I don't have any money.

903. I need to wait for another job, for all this shit to blow over

904. with the internet, Twitter, all that shit.

905. Yeah, but I could lend you some money before you...

906. I don't want your money. I can't take charity from you.

907. You know that he's really upset

908. because he couldn't go with you to New Orleans, right?

909. He's hurt. He misses you.

910. OK. What do you want me to do?

911. You know that the nannies can't get on the plane.

912. So why don't you come with us

913. and you take care of him while I work?

914. So you need me to come with you to watch Percy?

915. - Yeah. - So I'm the nanny?

916. Yes, his nanny, in Miami.

917. It might be good. That's where it all happened for you.

918. That's where Percy was born,

919. that's where you got your first job as a chef.

920. Maybe it will just, like, clear your mind out.

921. You think Percy would be OK with that?

922. Percy would love it.

923. What do you say?

924. I have to run out for a quick meeting,

925. so make sure when you go upstairs that everything is pressed,

926. order him some food, make sure he takes a nap, a bath...

927. - Wait, wait, wait, a nap? - Get him ready for tonight.

928. - I'm 10. - It's gonna be a long night.

929. We're gonna see Abuelito play.

930. Where? At Hoy Como Ayer?

931. - Isn't he a little young for that? - Too young for what?

932. He's not gonna perform forever.

933. He wants his grandson to see him play at least once.

934. Alright, well, better keep an eye on him.

935. - That place could get pretty crazy. - Me keep an eye?

936. That's why you're going too.

937. - Where are we? - This is Little Havana.

938. - Like in 'Grand Theft Auto'? - No, this is where I grew up.

939. - You did? - Yes.

940. And this is where Abuelito lives and works.

941. Grandpa still works? What does he do?

942. I can't see.

943. - No, Papa. - What did he say?

944. No, he's asking if we're back together.

945. No, no, we're friends. I'm helping watch the baby.

946. Wait, what's he... I don't understand.

947. He said that you look like you've gained a couple of pounds

948. since he saw you last.

949. Maybe since last time, I understand,

950. but, actually, recently, I'm down 15 pounds.

951. - 20? - He's saying that he lost 20 pounds.

952. - 20. - I know what he said. But I'm down...

953. That is in two months. I'm down... In two weeks, I've lost 15.

954. My suit doesn't even fit me anymore.

955. He's saying his pants might fall.

956. 20 pounds. 20.

957. Why does he have to say 20? I say 15, he says 20.

958. I could... Alright.

959. These are really good. We should wake up Percy so he can try one.

960. He say, "Just let him sleep. It's too late."

961. No, but he's never had a real Cuban sandwich. I want him to try it.

962. He says you should make him one.

963. I want him to have a real one from here, from Little Havana.

964. Abuelo... Everything OK?

965. This is really good, by the way.

966. Yours are way better.

967. You think people would like this kind of food back home?

968. - You think people would like it? - Yeah, it's real food. Why not?

969. Maybe I'll talk to Marvin.

970. Let me hear him out. You know?

971. See what he's got in mind for the food truck.

972. Think he's in town?

973. I don't know, but, you know, I can find out tomorrow - I call him.

974. You know he's here. Is this the whole reason you brought me out?

975. I don't know what you're talking about.

976. Try this. The yucca's amazing.

977. I love yucca.

978. You're full of shit.

979. Hi. I'm Carl Casper. I'm here to see Marvin.

980. - Booties? - Excuse me?

981. In case you don't want to remove your shoes.

982. Thank you.

983. Follow me, please.

984. - Casper's here. - How ya doing?

985. - Glad you're here. Look at you. - How's it going?

986. Come over here. Candy, come over here.

987. You're a sight for sore eyes.

988. What you want to eat, something? I want to see you eat something.

989. Alright? I'm worried. Eat some crackers or something.

990. Thanks.

991. Look at you.

992. She's pregnant. Just found out.

993. The... This one?

994. Pissed on a stick, came in, laid it on me five seconds ago.

995. Is it... So it's yours?

996. I don't know. That's what she's saying.

997. - You don't... - I know.

998. I got a problem, 'cause she's... best receptionist I've ever had.

999. - Yeah. - Good news is I had my tubes tied in '08.

1000. So, clearly, she's also a fucking liar.

1001. - Right. That's tough. - What do you want?

1002. You want a coconut water?

1003. - Um... - You OK?

1004. I'm alright. I'm alright.

1005. - Do you want a drink? - I would... No.

1006. Let's make some decisions together. Let's start right here.

1007. - Alright, so... - Let's start off easy.

1008. We got shit to talk about. Look, bang, you got four swatches, right?

1009. Let's start off easy and then we'll get into the uncomfortable stuff.

1010. - Pick it. - The... For the...

1011. For here? I don't know.

1012. Yeah, I'm putting a carpet down,

1013. 'cause people keep slippin' around like it's a fuckin' ice rink in here.

1014. You could always get 'em... take the booties off and...

1015. Can't do that.

1016. We'll go with, I don't know, this one?

1017. - You like that one? - I think...

1018. If I had to... But if you're not gonna paint, I would...

1019. This just seems like it goes with anything.

1020. People aren't walking on the walls, Carl.

1021. Or I could keep it if I want.

1022. - The... - Keep the kid.

1023. - Yeah. - Knowing that it's not mine.

1024. - Yes. - You know, for once, I'm a good guy.

1025. She stays on my desk and I fucking got something on her.

1026. But you decide. What do you think?

1027. Are we... we're talking about the carpet now

1028. or are we talking about the, um... the...

1029. - We're talking about... - I don't even know anymore.

1030. I think, um...

1031. ...I'd go with the brown.

1032. And as far as that goes, that's a personal... that's...

1033. - I don't know. - You're not a turd, OK?

1034. I don't want you to feel that way coming in here with your hat in your hand.

1035. You went fucking crazy on the internet. That was awesome.

1036. You lost respect, which I love, 'cause it's passion.

1037. You know, you lost everything.

1038. You know, you're not a loser, but you have lost, OK?

1039. You're not a turd. A turd that lost.

1040. I don't know that I feel like a turd.

1041. - Good. - I feel like I had a bad week.

1042. I feel like I lost my job, I made an ass of myself on the internet.

1043. I'm divorced, I'm old, I got no money.

1044. I live in a shitty apartment in Venice.

1045. But you know what makes me feel like a turd?

1046. That I'm in my ex-wife's ex-husband's office and asking for a fucking favour

1047. and all he's doing is busting my balls.

1048. I like this humility. It's good.

1049. Truth be told, food trucks are a great idea. You know what I mean?

1050. I think we take it back to something simple.

1051. Let me see if I got something to say anymore. I don't even know.

1052. - It's no problem. - I'll pay you back.

1053. As long as it's not weird for you - I don't want you to feel like

1054. because you were with Inez and you guys were sleeping together

1055. and I was with her and we had this...

1056. I was with her, then you were with her, and then maybe I fucked her after.

1057. I don't even know what happened with us.

1058. I came out to LA for a Clippers game once

1059. and I think we had a couple of drinks and we went to Islands.

1060. - And I think she had... - What happened between you two?

1061. You know what? It doesn't matter. Here's what happened.

1062. We're talking about a white-on-white '88 Chevy Grumman food truck.

1063. It's a blank canvas for your dreams.

1064. I'm gonna have 'em pull it around.

1065. Thank you.

1066. Don't thank me till you see it.

1067. Yeah. I'm in Miami now.

1068. What happened to those interviews you had?

1069. None of the prospects panned out.

1070. - For real? - Yeah.

1071. It sucks.

1072. I guess you'll have to stay there for a while, bro.

1073. Hey, Carl. Hey, papi, mira, I don't know if you heard or not, but...

1074. I got bumped up, man, to sous-chef.

1075. - Sous-chef? - Yeah.

1076. No shit! That's excellent!

1077. Congratulations, man. That's a big deal.

1078. Thank you, man. That means a lot coming from you, seriously.

1079. Yeah, but enough about me. So, what are you gonna do?

1080. You're gonna laugh.

1081. - I got a food truck. - Get the hell out!

1082. No shit. You got a fucking taco truck?

1083. Tony! Tony, Carl's got a fucking taco truck.

1084. For real?

1085. - Jefe! Like with tacos and shit? - I just...

1086. Yeah, I would assume. What are you gonna cook?

1087. You know, Cuban sandwiches, plátanos, arroz con pollo.

1088. Simple shit like we used to do for family meal.

1089. Oh, yeah, I remember those days, man.

1090. - Fuck he doing with a taco truck? - Goddamn.

1091. - I'd love some of that shit now. - What's he doing with a taco truck?

1092. - It's good, right? It could be cool. - Yeah.

1093. Get the fuck off the phone, bro. Let's go!

1094. Alright, alright, alright! I'm sorry. I'm sorry, man.

1095. Attila the Hun is calling me. I gotta go, man.

1096. Alright. Be good, man.

1097. - Is this the new truck? - This is it. This is the truck.

1098. It's got good bones.

1099. It's gonna need a lot of work, though.

1100. What doesn't?

1101. Wanna take a look around, champ?

1102. - Do I have to? - Go!

1103. Go and look at your dad's new truck.

1104. Can I ask you a question?

1105. Is something wrong?

1106. - Did you sleep with him? - With who?

1107. With Marvin. Did you sleep with Marvin?

1108. But of course I did. He's my ex-husband.

1109. I mean, since we were divorced. Have you slept...

1110. Who did you sleep with last, him or me?

1111. I'm sorry, but this is none of your business what I did...

1112. - I think it might be. - ... after I divorce you.

1113. Second of all, I don't ask you what you do with your hot little waitress.

1114. - That's completely different. - OK, really.

1115. - And that's not fair. - Yeah, yeah.

1116. This is somebody you loved and shared a life with...

1117. Why do we have to talk about this right now?

1118. Because I took a business meeting with the guy.

1119. - This is not the moment. - It is. I wanna know why.

1120. He's smiling like he's got something on me.

1121. - I dunno what it is. - Please, you know him.

1122. - I do know how him. - You know how he is. So who cares?

1123. - I care! - Why do you need to know?

1124. I just would like to...

1125. It doesn't bother me. I just wanna know.

1126. Just listen. I was very sad. I was very lonely.

1127. - And you, more than anyone, know... - OK. That's it. That's enough.

1128. - I don't want to know the details. - I get...

1129. Please. I'm not one of your girlfriends.

1130. - Don't tell me. Stop talking. - He was my first.

1131. - OK, the kid's here. - It came out like a natural, organic thing.

1132. - I don't want to know about this. - We didn't...

1133. We didn't go through with it.

1134. Sat there and we realised we're just good friends.

1135. I think there's something dead in there.

1136. OK, go and look for it. Maybe it's a rat.

1137. - Let's go look for the rat. - I have to work, and I'll be back.

1138. - No, wait, wait, wait. - You're going? No, no, no.

1139. You can't leave.

1140. You said you were going to help me, OK?

1141. Go work with your dad. It's fun.

1142. I'll be back later. 'Bye.

1143. Alright. Take that bucket, fill it.

1144. See the hose?

1145. Trash, trash, trash.

1146. Save that, save that.

1147. Save the metal ones.

1148. Tip it over.

1149. Alright, buddy.

1150. I got some presents for you.

1151. Watch this.

1152. Steel wool, right?

1153. Scrub brush. Right?

1154. I want you to do that on the whole truck.

1155. Hey, buddy, you don't have to clean that. We're throwing it out.

1156. Alright? Clean something else.

1157. Alright, that looks good. Clean out the lowboy now.

1158. - The what? - The low...

1159. The reach-in fridge, right here. Clean this out.

1160. That's it.

1161. That's where the smell's coming from. What is that?

1162. I don't know. Whatever it is, clean it out.

1163. What the hell are you doing?

1164. - You told me to clean it out. - Not throw it in the garbage.

1165. That's a perfectly good hotel pan. Scrub it out.

1166. No, that's gross! I'm not cleaning that out.

1167. - Pick it out of the garbage. - Are you kidding?

1168. - It's disgusting. - You don't throw it in the garbage.

1169. Like we saved the rest of the stuff. Let's just clean it out.

1170. No.

1171. - Pick it out of the trash. - No.

1172. Pick it out of the trash can.

1173. You wanted to work in a kitchen.

1174. This is what working in a kitchen is, OK?

1175. - We don't throw shit out. - Yeah, I wanted to come and cook.

1176. - Not clean it! - Pick it out of the garbage!

1177. No! I cleaned your whole stupid truck!

1178. Why are you so mean to me?

1179. Hey, I can't get a hold of your mom.

1180. But you... The truck looks great.

1181. You did a great job. I'm sorry I was mean.

1182. That wasn't right of me.

1183. I gotta pick up some equipment for the truck.

1184. You wanna come with me and help me pick out a stove till Mom calls back?

1185. Fine.

1186. Alright. Let's go.

1187. You know what this is?

1188. - French fries? - That's right, a fryer.

1189. This is the one we need right here. Come on, let's go.

1190. Double convection oven underneath. It's a real workhorse.

1191. 60 inches. I think we could fit them on the truck. What do you think?

1192. - Let's get it. - Let's get this one. Good. Done.

1193. This is the... Here's what we need.

1194. This is the thing I was looking for. Right there.

1195. - A George Foreman grill? - That's not a George Foreman grill.

1196. It's called a plancha. We make Cuban sandwiches on that.

1197. This is the key to our entire livelihood. We need two of these.

1198. Looks good. You know what?

1199. Let's also get the 6-inch chef's knife with the plastic handle.

1200. - Then you need also the holder. - Yeah, let's get a cover as well.

1201. OK, you see this, Percy?

1202. That's a chef's knife.

1203. A real chef's knife.

1204. It's not a toy. You understand?

1205. This thing's sharp. It can send you to the hospital if you're not careful.

1206. I'll teach you how to use this thing.

1207. But a chef's knife, it belongs to the chef, not to the kitchen.

1208. So it's your responsibility to keep it sharp, clean, not to lose it.

1209. - Can you handle that? - Yes.

1210. This is a good knife.

1211. It'll last you a long time if you take care of it.

1212. Don't lose it.

1213. I won't. Thank you.

1214. You earned it.

1215. How are we gonna get it in the truck?

1216. Well, Marvin said we could use some of his guys to help out.

1217. Hey, guys! Hello?

1218. I'm Carl. This is my truck.

1219. I need some help moving this equipment in.

1220. Marvin said that you guys might help me.

1221. I got it. Mind if I borrow this?

1222. Get to the top floor.

1223. Maybe a little higher?

1224. The hard part was getting it over to the truck,

1225. and now we just have to tip.

1226. If I can get one end up on the tailgate.

1227. Oh, hey, hey. Don't do that. You're gonna rupture something, man.

1228. - Hey! - Martin!

1229. Hey, killer, what's up? How you doing, little gangster?

1230. - What the hell you doing here? - I warned you, man. I warned you.

1231. If you got another gig, I was gonna drop everything to be your line cook. Didn't I?

1232. This is a food truck. You're a sous-chef now.

1233. So? Food trucks don't need a sous-chef?

1234. OK, fine. You're hired. Pays nothing.

1235. - I'll take it. - Nice!

1236. - You're not gonna scare me, buddy. - Thank you so much.

1237. You must've jumped on a plane as soon as we got off the phone.

1238. Dude, when I heard your voice, I was like, "That's what I wanna do."

1239. - I'm so happy you're here. - Me too, man.

1240. - We're trying to get this in the truck. - Yeah?

1241. I need some sort of, like, lever and fulcrum.

1242. Come on, everybody. Everybody together. Come on.

1243. Holy sh... No, we can't do this.

1244. No way, not without one of us hurting ourselves. No, no, no, don't.

1245. Stop. Stop. I got it, I got it.

1246. Carl, easy.

1247. - It's good to know Spanish. - You gotta, man.

1248. Thank you. Thank you, guys.

1249. OK, good.

1250. - Nice. - Fryer next?

1251. No, no, forget the freaking fryer, man.

1252. I'm gonna fill up the propane tanks,

1253. you go to the market - get cerveza, not beer.

1254. I can't go to the market. We gotta hook up the fryer. Get rid of the steam pit.

1255. No, by the time you get back, I'll have this all spotless and cleaned up.

1256. I got lots of marinating to do.

1257. I promised these people the best sandwich of their lives.

1258. - OK. Good. So... - Get me the mojo.

1259. OK, so, what do you need? Oranges, onion, garlic.

1260. That's right. Why don't we juice it up a little bit?

1261. - Tomatillo. - Some chillies, yeah. Cilantro.

1262. - Now get the hell outta here. - Let's go.

1263. OK, look, the key is, you gotta look for ingredients

1264. and then that gives you ideas of what to cook.

1265. Like, this is yucca, right?

1266. Get some of that. Those look great. See that?

1267. And... Oh, come here.

1268. You know what this is?

1269. Bananas?

1270. That's called a plantain. Plátanos.

1271. These are maduros. Feel, soft?

1272. That's the sweet kind.

1273. But we want the green ones. Here. Hang onto this.

1274. This is what you make tostones with.

1275. That's Martin's favourite.

1276. - I got it. I got it. - You got it? Too much?

1277. I got it.

1278. - Watch out for tarantulas. Come on. - What?

1279. That's good.

1280. Oh, look at that.

1281. Oh, yeah. My masterpiece, baby.

1282. - That's beautiful. - Miami, I am back. Pow!

1283. You could have just bought this at the store. I think they sold it there.

1284. - You sure that's your son, man? - I don't know.

1285. You'd better get a paternity test.

1286. - Oh, that looks incred... - Can I have some?

1287. Oh, Martin.

1288. - Please, just gimme some. - It's not from the store.

1289. - You might not like it. - It's fatty but not heavy, you know?

1290. - You don't want any of this. - Yes, I do.

1291. - You're probably vegan. You can't eat it. - I'm not vegan.

1292. - It's not from the store. - Oh, my God.

1293. - Martin, come on. Can I have some? - Hold on a second.

1294. - Can I give him a piece, Martin? - Nah, man, he's not...

1295. - Alright. Let me think about it. - Just a little piece. Let's see.

1296. - Pretty good. - Pretty good?

1297. - Pretty good? Come on! - Better than the store?

1298. One more. Just one more.

1299. The best shit you ever had in your life. Come on, man.

1300. Oh, give me another one. If you're gonna give him some, give me some.

1301. - Don't be cheap. - I want more.

1302. You know what? Let's make some sandwiches.

1303. - Yes, sir. Let's get to it. - Alright. Ready to go?

1304. Hey, little man, is the plancha red-hot?

1305. Me?

1306. No, I'm talking to the grill. Yeah, you.

1307. - Do I touch it? - Well, what do you think?

1308. - No. - That's right. No, genius.

1309. Hey, look. Come over here, look.

1310. See this water?

1311. - Bang. Is it hot? - Yes.

1312. - Tell him it's hot. - It's hot.

1313. Is it hot as your daddy's underwear?

1314. Good. Now, watch. Come over here.

1315. Here we go, papi. Perfect. Perfecto.

1316. Now, watch me. Watch what I'm doing.

1317. Two slices of ham, three of pork.

1318. - Now come over here. - Now the maestro.

1319. Two slices of cheese - one, two.

1320. - Two pickles. - Can I do pickles?

1321. Big pickles. Nice. One, two.

1322. Now, watch this. Take this - mustard, from end to end.

1323. You go side to side, not forward and back.

1324. Now, this is the most important part.

1325. This is what makes it a Cubano.

1326. - Take the butter. See that? - Yeah.

1327. On top. Take a little bit.

1328. Butter the grill.

1329. In. Just like that.

1330. Now, watch.

1331. I want you to watch for the bread to get golden.

1332. I want you to watch for the cheese to melt.

1333. When that cheese is melted and that bread's golden, but not burnt,

1334. you call me, you tell me it's done and we'll check, OK?

1335. Keep an eye on it.

1336. I want you to watch everything everybody's doing,

1337. because when we're hopping, you're gonna have to jump in on the line

1338. and help out.

1339. - I think it's done. - You think it's done?

1340. - Oh, look at that. - See how golden that is?

1341. - That's how you want it every time. - Nice job.

1342. You gotta be like a robot when you're on a line.

1343. You're the shit, baby. You're the shit.

1344. Three equal pieces.

1345. - Let's see what we got. - Alright, here we go.

1346. - Oh, hot. - Let me see.

1347. Look at that cheese.

1348. - Oh, my God, man. - This is the shit.

1349. - This is it. - Oh!

1350. - This is it. - This is it.

1351. - It's incredible. - This is empingao.

1352. - Oh, empingao! - Empingao, man.

1353. - So, is it good? - It's amazing.

1354. Then I guess we're open.

1355. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. We're open?

1356. I didn't get to finish my sandwich.

1357. - Here you go. - What do I do?

1358. Cut the bread.

1359. There's cerveza down there.

1360. Little man, get me hazelnuts, get me some more ham.

1361. Alright, I got four right here.

1362. Hey, jefe, this sound system sounds like ass.

1363. But my cousin knows a guy who'll hook us up with all our musical necessities.

1364. My credit cards are maxed out and we're not charging for food yet.

1365. - So we'll wait on the sound system. - But you look happy, baby, don't you?

1366. - So happy. So happy. - Yeah, that's what's champing it.

1367. I got one.

1368. - That's burnt. - So?

1369. They're not paying for it.

1370. Come with me. Get off the truck.

1371. - You got this? - Yeah, I got it. You get down.

1372. Slow down for a second.

1373. - Is this boring to you? - No, I like it.

1374. Yeah, well, I love it.

1375. Everything good that's happened to me in my life came because of that.

1376. I might not do everything great in my life, OK?

1377. I'm not perfect. I'm not the best husband.

1378. And I'm sorry if I wasn't the best father.

1379. But I'm good at this.

1380. And I wanna share this with you.

1381. I wanna teach you what I learned.

1382. I get to touch people's lives with what I do.

1383. And it keeps me going, and I love it.

1384. And I think if you give it a shot, you might love it too.

1385. Yes, Chef.

1386. Now, should we have served that sandwich?

1387. No, Chef.

1388. That's my son. Get back in there. We got some hungry people.

1389. He's ready to cook!

1390. - We did good, man. - We did good.

1391. - We got something here. - I say we stick with the traditional menu.

1392. - We don't get too fancy. - We'll get some yucca fries.

1393. - We got the fryer. - That's classic. Another beer, boss?

1394. - No, I'm good. - Alright.

1395. Here you go, little man.

1396. You sure?

1397. Is this beer?

1398. No, of course not. I would never hand you beer.

1399. - That's cerveza. - I'm 10. I can't have beer.

1400. You're not 10. You're kitchen staff. Kitchen staff doesn't have an age.

1401. Dad?

1402. You can have a sip.

1403. - Like piss, right? - Worse.

1404. You remember that when your friends offer you a beer.

1405. I figure we go to South Beach...

1406. ... stake out the truck a little bit, get the menu straight.

1407. Then after we're really confident we got something good,

1408. then we drive back to LA.

1409. And hit a few extra cities on the way?

1410. Why not?

1411. - Can I come? - Can you come?

1412. - Come where? - On the trip.

1413. This isn't a trip. We're just driving the truck back.

1414. You're flying first class with Mommy with all the divorce money.

1415. Yeah, but you're stopping in cities.

1416. - Yeah, but you got school. - I'm on break.

1417. I don't know.

1418. Martin, I like your mojo.

1419. - Hey, don't work me. - Oh, you hitting Martin?

1420. - You're working Martin? - Working me like that.

1421. - He's ice-cold. - He knows my soft spot, though.

1422. He likes your mojo.

1423. - He got me, man. - We'll talk to your mom.

1424. - We'll see what she says. - I already did.

1425. - She's cool with it. - Look at that.

1426. He's not... He's 10, he's got a phone.

1427. Good for you. Good for you, man. Get things done.

1428. Why not? Why not? Bring him along.

1429. So I'm going?

1430. Yeah.

1431. - Yeah, you can come. - I gotta go to the bathroom.

1432. Go by the backhoe.

1433. You want me to take a poop over there?

1434. Hey, Carl. Carl, check it out.

1435. I'll drop you guys off at the hotel,

1436. and in the morning, you go get the rest of the ingredients,

1437. stock up on stuff, and I'll put a coat of paint on this.

1438. Don't bother painting. We'll paint it when we get back.

1439. - It looks fine like this. - No, man. This is on me.

1440. My cousin knows a guy. I'm gonna hook it up. Alright?

1441. Who's hungry?

1442. If you change your mind, you call me and I'll go get you anywhere.

1443. Come on. Let's sell sandwiches, baby!

1444. - OK, call me. - Come on, buddy.

1445. Cuidado.

1446. - Call me. - I will.

1447. Alright, buddy, I need you to get me a crowd.

1448. - Yes, Chef. You know it. - Alright.

1449. Step right up.

1450. Best Cuban food in all of South Beach.

1451. Come on, don't be afraid. Step up!

1452. If you need it more authentic, you can swim 90 miles that way.

1453. If you can pronounce it, we can make it.

1454. Arroz con pollo, yuca frita.

1455. OK, four media noches coming up.

1456. Cubano.

1457. - You got it? - I got four ready over here.

1458. - Yucca fries, plantas was you? - Yeah.

1459. Here we go. Thank you. Thanks for your patience.

1460. - Who needs a little bit more? - We got four Cubano all day.

1461. - Four Cubano all day. - Hey, this one's not ready, OK?

1462. - I'm buttering that one. - I got it. I got it.

1463. - Crap! - Yucca!

1464. - One frites for you. - I burned my finger.

1465. You OK?

1466. - You wanna keep going or stop? - Keep going.

1467. - OK, keep going, keep going. - Go, little man.

1468. Help him with that banana ketchup and yucca fries.

1469. Go with the chile, the chile vinegar.

1470. - Good job. - Hold on one second.

1471. - It's coming. - Is that enough?

1472. That's perfect. Here you go.

1473. - How's the yucca frita? - It's perfect.

1474. Step aside, step aside.

1475. Thank you.

1476. Who's in charge here?

1477. Um, me. What do you need, sir?

1478. I need to talk to you on the side.

1479. - On the side, please. Right away. - I got you. I got it, I got it.

1480. Alright, alright. Relax, relax. Keep it down. Keep it down.

1481. Hang on, guys. Come on. Hang on, hang on.

1482. Hang on, hang on.

1483. - Need to see a permit. - Permit, yeah, we got it.

1484. Should be good.

1485. Yeah, permit's good. You're just not good to sell here right now.

1486. OK, alright. Thank you. So just, what, a half-mile down the road?

1487. Yeah. As long as you're not right on South Beach, you're OK.

1488. - No problem. Sorry about that. - Hey...

1489. Aren't you the lava cake guy?

1490. - Yeah, from the internet. - Yeah.

1491. Yeah.

1492. My kid and I saw you on 'Tosh.0'. You were hilarious.

1493. Thanks. OK, great.

1494. That was hilarious.

1495. Hey, can I get a quick picture with you for my kid?

1496. - For my kid. - Sure.

1497. - Yeah. - Hey, you know how to work this?

1498. - Hey, Martin, help me out. - What is that, a flat-screen TV?

1499. Hold on a second. Let me unlock it for you real quick.

1500. Hang on. We're gonna move it down the road.

1501. It's hard to use other people's technology.

1502. - Big one. - Arm around you? Is that good?

1503. - Yeah. Yeah. - Alright, how do I... What do I press?

1504. Just touch the... Tap the screen first. Hold on.

1505. Let me make sure it's not on video.

1506. It's on... Yeah, it's on. And then put on camera. There we go. Yeah.

1507. Alright. Get together.

1508. You have to tap the centre of the screen,

1509. and when you see a box, make sure the box is around our head.

1510. Whatever you're shooting's in the box.

1511. - Just take the fucking picture, OK? - I got it.

1512. - There we go. - Thanks. Let's take the...

1513. Oh, and your finger's in front of the camera.

1514. - Sorry, sorry! - Good. Great.

1515. - I got it. - OK. Thank you.

1516. - Alright. Thank you. - Thank you, Officer.

1517. Hey, can I just take a picture up there in the kitchen?

1518. - On the truck? - That'd be great, yeah.

1519. - Got it. - And good. OK.

1520. Can I take one pressing a sandwich or something?

1521. - Got it. - Good? OK. - Alright.

1522. Can we do one more where... with 'Lady and the Tramp' -

1523. you know, you're biting one end, I'm biting the other?

1524. Come on, you can do this.

1525. You got it? You got it? Go.

1526. I think I missed the exit.

1527. What the hell are you doing? You sending pictures to Mom?

1528. - I'm posting a Vine. - A Vine? What's a Vine?

1529. It's a video. Look.

1530. Hey, come on, man! Get that out of my face.

1531. - Seriously. - Christ.

1532. - It's only six seconds. - Who'd make a video six seconds?

1533. - A six-second video. - Can you believe this generation?

1534. Unbelievable, man. Little attention. ADHD.

1535. - ADHD is right. - That's nothing.

1536. I've also been shooting these videos - one second every day.

1537. One-second videos? Now you're joking with me.

1538. No. You edit 'em all together.

1539. One second of every day.

1540. And then you cut 'em together and watch it. It's cool.

1541. OK, enough with the virtual world. How about something real?

1542. Who wants to stop at Disney World?

1543. - Oh, yeah, I do. - Disney World? That's real?

1544. We shouldn't stop till we hit New Orleans.

1545. - Hey! Hey, that IS your son. - That's my boy.

1546. A kid who'd rather go to New Orleans than Disney World.

1547. Now I've seen everything.

1548. I can't wait to try my first beignet.

1549. Every other person you say 'New Orleans' to thinks jazz and voodoo.

1550. Yeah, he thinks...

1551. - Your kid thinks doughnuts. - Doughnuts. Yeah, I know.

1552. I like that. Alright, New Orleans.

1553. What are you doing?

1554. Dude, I'm putting a little cornstarch on my werewolves, man.

1555. It's too humid down here.

1556. Dad. Dad.

1557. - Wake up. - What?

1558. Martin's putting cornstarch on his balls.

1559. You putting cornstarch on your balls?

1560. Yes, sir.

1561. Let me get some?

1562. Want some?

1563. Here.

1564. It's like baby powder.

1565. Put it on your nuts.

1566. - It's nice, right? - Nice.

1567. What's good is in the morning,

1568. you could dip your nuts in oil and make hushpuppies.

1569. Alright, come on. Come on.

1570. Out.

1571. Alright, backing up.

1572. Come on, come on.

1573. OK, watch out, baby-cakes.

1574. Whoo!

1575. Nice driving skills?

1576. - I'm getting the hang of this thing. - I'm telling ya.

1577. - Alright, I'm taking my kid for a walk. - Yeah.

1578. Oh, nice. I get promoted to sous-chef.

1579. - But I gotta do all the hard work? - Yeah. Thanks.

1580. - Thank you. - Where are we, Bourbon Street?

1581. Nah, this is Frenchman Street. Bourbon's for tourists.

1582. We're in the Marigny. Come with me.

1583. - Where we going? - Just come.

1584. Come on. French Quarter.

1585. We're going to Café Du Monde.

1586. You ever heard of Café Du Monde?

1587. Is this the beignet place?

1588. You ready? We drove a long way for these.

1589. Here we go.

1590. Eat it slow.

1591. You're never gonna have your first beignet ever again.

1592. Pretty cool.

1593. It's cool, right? You like it?

1594. They don't taste like this anywhere else in the world.

1595. - So, what else you gotta buy? - Nothing.

1596. Not anything for work?

1597. Nope.

1598. - Really? - Nah.

1599. Just wanted to get some beignets with you.

1600. Cool.

1601. I like New Orleans.

1602. I like New Orleans too.

1603. - Somebody ate my body. - I didn't brush my teeth.

1604. This is what happens to you when you don't brush your teeth.

1605. - Dude, dude! Where were you, man? - What? I went shopping.

1606. - You went shopping? - I called you, man. I texted you.

1607. - We got beignets. - Where the hell were you?

1608. - You got beignets? I've been calling. - We got some beets for the truck.

1609. - Why didn't you answer your phone? - My phone was on vibrate.

1610. - You put your phone on vibrate. - Chill out. What's the big...

1611. - I'm sorry. - Chill out? Just take a look.

1612. Take a look. Please take a look.

1613. - Is that for us? - That's for us.

1614. - That whole line's for us? - Can you believe that?

1615. Oh, my God!

1616. Alright, so, I guess we gotta cook some food.

1617. - We gotta cook some food. - Alright, so you good with prep?

1618. - Yes, sir. - We're gonna get through this.

1619. - You ready? - I'm ready, boss.

1620. - OK. Buy me five minutes. - Yes, sir.

1621. Could you give us five minutes, please? Five minutes.

1622. We'll be right there in five more minutes.

1623. Got everything... Plancha's... Everything's hot.

1624. - Oil's hot. You got everything ready. - Yes, sir.

1625. You are a superstar!

1626. - You are a superstar. - Thank you. Thank you, sir.

1627. Oh! And how'd you get that crowd? You got a huge crowd outside.

1628. I didn't. I just came back from shopping, there was this long line.

1629. - I thought it was a mistake. - I tweeted it.

1630. - You what? - What'd you do?

1631. I tweeted the picture on your account and then geotagged it. Look.

1632. Wait, man, you did... you did what? You geo...

1633. I tagged it so they can mark us on their maps.

1634. Look at those pictures.

1635. How'd you... What'd you...

1636. These pictures are from here.

1637. How'd you get those pictures from here?

1638. When I was going to Café Du Monde.

1639. And you put it online?

1640. You're a genius, kid.

1641. You're the reason everybody's here. You know that?

1642. You're my new head of marketing. Thank you.

1643. Alright, so, I'm gonna hit the chalkboard.

1644. You walk him through the prep on the po' boys and get the plancha going.

1645. Yes, Chef. Yes, Chef. Jefecito.

1646. You butter the plancha, son, alright?

1647. I got this. Percy, look. Whoo!

1648. Yes, sir.

1649. Single file, y'all. Right here.

1650. 0-8? There you go. Thank you very much. Napkins are down there.

1651. - Another beignet coming up. - Hang on a second.

1652. - Number seven. - There you go, two more.

1653. Cubano coming up.

1654. Hang on, one second. He's my kid. He's just learning.

1655. - Put you on the Twitter? - Watch your back.

1656. That's my kid. He did all that.

1657. - More beignets. - How's that po' boy coming?

1658. - It's coming up with shrimp. - Alright.

1659. It's worth the wait, I promise.

1660. Baby

1661. I'm hot just like an oven

1662. I need some lovin'

1663. And, baby

1664. I can't hold it much longer

1665. It's getting stronger and stronger

1666. And when I get that feelin', I want sexual healing

1667. Sexual healing is good for me

1668. Makes me feel so fine

1669. Helps to relieve my mind

1670. Yeah

1671. Sexual healing, baby, is good for me

1672. Sexual healing is something that's good for me

1673. Whenever blue teardrops are falling

1674. And my emotional stability is leaving me

1675. There is something I can do

1676. I can get on the telephone and call you up, baby

1677. Honey, I know you'll be there to relieve me

1678. The love you give to me will...

1679. Jefe, jefe. It says 'sold out', man.

1680. We should be good. I think they're holding for us.

1681. - Hey, Benji. - Hey.

1682. - We got here as fast as we could. - Hopefully we're still good.

1683. - You got anything for me? - Gotta check with the man.

1684. - In the back. - OK, thanks.

1685. What's up, killer?

1686. - Hey, Aaron. - What's up, Carl?

1687. - How you doing? - How you doing?

1688. Driving all night. Doing good.

1689. - You still got the stuff? - Let's do it.

1690. Oh. He's got the stuff.

1691. - What is this place? - This is Texas OG barbecue.

1692. These guys gotta stay up all night and stoke those fires low and slow.

1693. Oh, man, that's gorgeous.

1694. - So how many can I get? - I guess four.

1695. - I'll take it. - Alright.

1696. Whoo!

1697. - Nice. - Oh, yeah.

1698. Yeah. Oh, there we go.

1699. Oh, oh!

1700. Oh, man.

1701. We should get some sliders.

1702. - Wow. - We should do sliders, man.

1703. - Oh, my God. - We get some King's Hawaiian bread.

1704. Pickle, barbecue sauce.

1705. What if we swapped this out for the pork in the media noche?

1706. - What do you think about that? - Swap this for the pork shoulder?

1707. - Make, like, an Austin Midnight. - I like that.

1708. - That's hot. I like that. - That is hot, baby.

1709. Let me get one more of these. You should check this out.

1710. Just let me cut right through.

1711. - Save it, dog. - I know. We're gonna save it.

1712. - Use it all up, man. - I'll give you half.

1713. - Know you can't eat your own supply. - Put it away after this.

1714. - Six sliders all day. - 69's coming up.

1715. One is coming up.

1716. Media noche, Texas.

1717. - Whoo! - This is getting murdered.

1718. You got that three media noches coming up?

1719. Alright.

1720. Order 65 and 66.

1721. - I got po' boy right here. - One sec.

1722. - You got the transfer pan? - Cubano.

1723. Thank you. Good. Hey, your phone's ringing, Percy.

1724. Sorry.

1725. - Hey, Mom. - Where are you?

1726. - I'm in Austin. - Are you OK?

1727. - I'm great. - How's your daddy?

1728. Here, talk to him.

1729. - Hi, Inez. - Hi.

1730. - You want me to pick him up? - No, you're a thousand miles away.

1731. It's OK. I can go get on a plane and pick him up.

1732. - No, it's fine. He's doing great. - "I miss him.

1733. "I want you to come home. I love him."

1734. He's fine. He's got a couple of burns and two stitches from a paring knife.

1735. Please, I'm serious. Let me go and pick him up.

1736. You know your son's a cook now?

1737. - I'm a line cook. - He's a line cook.

1738. Be careful!

1739. I'll have him home in time for school.

1740. - And you? Are you OK? - I'm amazing!

1741. "Oh, you're so sexy in that bandana. I want your big platanos."

1742. Looks here like you guys are having so much fun.

1743. Alright, give me one second. Did you know your son could work a grill?

1744. - I had beer. - What did he say?

1745. Stop. Stop, stop. He says he misses you.

1746. Aww, tell him I love him.

1747. - Dad got me a knife. - He says, "I love you."

1748. - What? - "I love you!"

1749. I love you too!

1750. Tell... tell him, "I love you too." OK?

1751. 'Bye.

1752. Alright, 70!

1753. - Let's take a selfie. - A selfie?

1754. Wait, let me do it with the flash. Hold on.

1755. Oh, look at that. Email that to me, alright?

1756. Mind if I post this?

1757. - What is that, another Vine? - No, it's 'One Second Every Day' video.

1758. Remember?

1759. - It's the trip all cut together? - Oh, the little cuts of the thing?

1760. Yeah, just email it to me.

1761. I'm sure it's fine.

1762. Listen, I... I want to talk to you about something.

1763. Yeah?

1764. I've had a really good time with you these last couple of weeks.

1765. Me too.

1766. And...

1767. ...you've become a really good cook.

1768. - Thanks, Dad. - Not just for a kid.

1769. I mean, you're really good. You work really hard.

1770. It's a big deal.

1771. But we're gonna be home soon, and we're gonna get back to our lives,

1772. and I'm gonna be really busy with the truck

1773. and you're gonna be really busy with school.

1774. But I can still work on the truck, right?

1775. You said I was a good cook.

1776. I'm... I'm sorry, Percy.

1777. I... I just don't want you to be disappointed

1778. when things go back to the way that they were.

1779. I don't want it to go back to that.

1780. I could work after school and on weekends.

1781. I just want to be honest with you, OK?

1782. I feel like I've let you down so much, and I didn't want to blindside you,

1783. but the summer's gonna end and we're not gonna be doing this anymore.

1784. But we had a lot of fun, and nobody could take away from us

1785. what we experienced together, right?

1786. And I feel like I really got to know you.

1787. Alright. Let's watch the music.

1788. Alright, pal. Here we are.

1789. - Be nice to be home. - Yep.

1790. See your turtle, see your mommy, back to your room.

1791. I'm really gonna miss you.

1792. I'm gonna miss you too.

1793. OK, but you'll stay with me in two weeks.

1794. Yeah.

1795. - Whole weekend. - Did you post the video yet?

1796. - I didn't look at it yet. Sorry. - Don't forget.

1797. - I won't. - I'll resend it.

1798. Come on. Mommy misses you.

1799. Go. Go to Mommy.

1800. Mwah!

1801. 'Bye.

1802. Oh, shit.

1803. - Wait a second. - d Gonna make... d

1804. - Right, Dad? - See you next week.

1805. - Put that thing away. - So I'm the nanny?

1806. Here we go.

1807. Hi.

1808. - Look out. - Oh!

1809. - Empingao. - Yeah!

1810. - Park over there. - Miami!

1811. Come on, get in.

1812. Arroz con pollo.

1813. I think I missed the exit.

1814. Beignets.

1815. - Hey, Dad. - Hi.

1816. - What's wrong? - Nothing.

1817. What's up?

1818. Listen, I was... I was thinking, about what we were talking about.

1819. Yeah?

1820. And it's gotta be OK with Mom. Let me just say that first.

1821. What are you talking about?

1822. I could really use your help on the truck.

1823. You there?

1824. Yeah.

1825. And it's only for the weekends and after school

1826. after you're done with your homework,

1827. and the money goes into your college fund.

1828. OK. Does that sound good?

1829. That sounds pretty good.

1830. Mom! Dad wants me to cook on his truck!

1831. No, really! He's on the phone.

1832. Mom wants to talk to you. I think it's yes. Hang on.

1833. Order 16. 16.

1834. - 16. 16, here. - Thank you.

1835. - 15. - Order up. Order up. Next!

1836. Mole, two Cubanos,

1837. and order 21, slider.

1838. - Thank you. - 21? Thank you.

1839. - There you go. I got yours coming. - Perfect. 15.

1840. - Yes. - OK. Thank you.

1841. There's no food for you here.

1842. Could I speak to the chef for just a second, please?

1843. The hell you will.

1844. Can I talk to you?

1845. Next! Next!

1846. What exactly are you doing here?

1847. I'm... eating the food. I'm eating your food.

1848. I thought my food was needy and cloying.

1849. Well, I didn't think you'd want to serve me,

1850. so I sent somebody else to pick it up.

1851. What happened between us, that really knocked me for a loop.

1852. I mean, you robbed me of my pride and my career and my dignity.

1853. And I know people like you don't usually care about that kind of thing.

1854. That's not necessarily true.

1855. But you should know, it hurts people like me.

1856. - 'Cause we're really trying. - You started a flame war with me.

1857. Are you kidding me? I buy ink by the barrel, buddy.

1858. What are you doing picking a fight with me?

1859. I wouldn't challenge you to a cook-off.

1860. I thought I was sending you a private message.

1861. I didn't know that. I thought we were having fun.

1862. It was theatre. By the way, what the fuck were you cooking?

1863. You totally shat the bed, buddy. How could I back that?

1864. You were one of my early boys.

1865. I had no control over the menu.

1866. Whatever the case, OK? You seem to be cooking for yourself again.

1867. Because this shit is sensational.

1868. I mean, really, really good.

1869. Thank you.

1870. I'm not gonna write about it.

1871. Yeah. I understand.

1872. Because I'd like to back you.

1873. Excuse me?

1874. I wanna bankroll you,

1875. and I can't write about anything I have a vested interest in.

1876. I'm not sure I get what's going on here.

1877. I sold my website for a whole lot of money

1878. and I've just put in a bid on a place on Rose.

1879. It's zoned, it's permitted. You could build it out however you like.

1880. And you can cook whatever you like.

1881. Take your time, think about it.

1882. I wouldn't blame you for having a few trust issues,

1883. but I just thought that, you know,

1884. you and me burying the hatchet might be a good story.

1885. Reservations out the door.

1886. More importantly, you know, you just cook your ass off in there.

1887. In the meantime, you just tweet me wherever you are

1888. and I'll come running.

1889. 'Cause this shit's good. Alright?

1890. Delicious!

1891. Delicioso.

1892. Mucho goodo.

1893. - Hey, jefe. - Yeah?

1894. That was a lot of talking and you not punching him.

1895. So, what'd that asshole say?

1896. I think that asshole might be our new partner.

1897. Go, go, go, go.

1898. Thank you!

1899. A mark. B mark.

1900. Looks good. It looks good already.

1901. The heat is right on.

1902. - That's olive oil? - Yeah.

1903. What are you grabbing over there?

1904. You're grabbing all your cheese.

1905. Yeah.

1906. What are you doing there? Spreading it around or finding...

1907. - Spreading it around. - What are you looking for there?

1908. Heat. Heat.

1909. So it doesn't burn?

1910. - Where's the hottest spot? - Right here is the hot spot.

1911. So you're controlling it all the time. You're always controlling.

1912. And you're looking, you're looking.

1913. As soon as you get your good colour... This is now where you start it.

1914. You start to really build the sandwich itself.

1915. A light scrape.

1916. So you can see, the whole sandwich starts to evolve.

1917. And, see, the cheese is starting to evolve too.

1918. Yes, you can do it. There you go.

1919. Getting in there.

1920. You're almost...

1921. Even now, as you get further, Jon,

1922. you're getting in, like, assertive now.

1923. You're changing... Even your grip's here.

1924. Changing your positions.

1925. You're moving around.

1926. But you're not too busy with it. You're...

1927. You're precise, but then sometimes you step back.

1928. - Nothing else exists except this. - Right.

1929. This is the only thing that exists in this world right now.

1930. And if you fuck this up, everything sucks in the world.