1. Okay.
Come on out.
Everyone out.Copy !req
2. I WISH PLAYINGCopy !req
3. They say
that starting a family
is an act of optimism.Copy !req
4. Well, Tom and I were clearlyCopy !req
5. very, very, very optimistic.Copy !req
6. Of course, there are always
good times and difficult ones
along the way.Copy !req
7. And with 12 kids,
you learn a lot of lessons.Copy !req
8. But the one that
you never get used toCopy !req
9. is that moment
when you look your child
in the eyeCopy !req
10. and find yourself
having to say the most
difficult word of all,Copy !req
11. goodbye.Copy !req
12. Stay together.
Let's go!Copy !req
13. SINGING
Boy thought I told you
not to go outsideCopy !req
14. Trying your best to bring
the water to your eyesCopy !req
15. Thinking it might stop herCopy !req
16. From whooping your behindCopy !req
17. There she is!Copy !req
18. Sergio Archer.Copy !req
19. She's right there!Copy !req
20. Robert Armstrong.Copy !req
21. Can we sit here?Copy !req
22. Peter Bailey.Copy !req
23. Lorraine Baker.Copy !req
24. WHOOPINGCopy !req
25. Yeah, Lorraine!Copy !req
26. WHOOPINGCopy !req
27. Yeah!
Yeah!Copy !req
28. Yeah!Copy !req
29. He's really gotten good.Copy !req
30. Yeah.Copy !req
31. Oh, my gosh.
Kicking, kicking.Copy !req
32. All right.
All right. It is time
to toast the graduate.Copy !req
33. WHOOPSCopy !req
34. Lorraine, we are all
so proud of you,Copy !req
35. for keeping your chin up
and charging the mountain.Copy !req
36. Yeah!Copy !req
37. Yeah!Copy !req
38. Go, Lorraine!Copy !req
39. And for being a truly unique
and wonderful person.Copy !req
40. And for getting
that internship
at Allure magazine!Copy !req
41. Did you know about that?Copy !req
42. Yes.Copy !req
43. Even though
I'm going to spend
the entire summerCopy !req
44. trying to convince you that
staying here in ChicagoCopy !req
45. is much better choice
for your futureCopy !req
46. than moving to dirty,
expensive, crime-ridden
New York City.Copy !req
47. But here's to Lorraine!Copy !req
48. Okay, my daughter Nora
and her husband Bud.Copy !req
49. You want to say something?Copy !req
50. And our future linebacker.Copy !req
51. Do we stay up here?Copy !req
52. No. We go.
Let's go.Copy !req
53. First of all,
congratulations,
Lorraine.Copy !req
54. Bud and I hope that
our baby will be as cool
and accomplished as you.Copy !req
55. And, second of all,Copy !req
56. I don't mean
to make this toast
all about Bud and I,Copy !req
57. but we have some
kind of big news.Copy !req
58. Do you know about this?Copy !req
59. I've just been offered
the vice presidency
of a new advertising firm.Copy !req
60. Yeah! Congratulations! Yes!Copy !req
61. In Houston.Copy !req
62. We're moving in September.
Thank you!Copy !req
63. Great. Wow.Copy !req
64. Does this mean
we're not gonna be
uncles anymore?Copy !req
65. You're gonna be uncles
no matter where we live.Copy !req
66. Maybe they thought
it was the best way
to break it to us.Copy !req
67. Still, it's
quite a surprise.Copy !req
68. I'll say.Copy !req
69. Can I get a beer
and a white wine?Copy !req
70. Hey, you guys.Copy !req
71. Hey.
Hi.Copy !req
72. I feel like I'm losing
two daughters in one day.Copy !req
73. You're not
losing us, Dad.Copy !req
74. Well, I hope you have
some help lined up.Copy !req
75. Because, you know,
with no family there,Copy !req
76. and you being
a first-time mom,Copy !req
77. and, Bud, you're gonna
be at work all day.Copy !req
78. No. I'm not gonna be
at work all the time.Copy !req
79. We're gonna be fine.Copy !req
80. And whatever house we get's
gonna have a room reserved
for you guys in it.Copy !req
81. Okay. Well, at least
you're gonna stay for
the touch football game.Copy !req
82. We can't.
We have Lamaze.Copy !req
83. Well, this'll help
your breathing.Copy !req
84. Thanks.
We're gonna
see you soon.Copy !req
85. Okay. Bye.
You're driving, right?Copy !req
86. All right.
Thanks. Hey, see you.Copy !req
87. Bye, sweetheart.
Bye.Copy !req
88. There you go, sir.
Thank you.Copy !req
89. That's...
They seem so
casual and cavalier.Copy !req
90. Well, time for me
to get my hands dirty.Copy !req
91. What, you're working?
What about the game?Copy !req
92. It's a rematch
against the cousins.
Come on.Copy !req
93. I got student loans
to pay off, Dad.Copy !req
94. Okay. See you.
All right.Copy !req
95. Be safe, honey.Copy !req
96. Did everybody forget
that touch footballCopy !req
97. is a time-honored tradition
here at the Baker family?Copy !req
98. Honey, you got
10 other kids
to draft.Copy !req
99. I forgot.Copy !req
100. You forgot?
Lorraine. Yeah.Copy !req
101. You're staying
for the game,
right?Copy !req
102. No. Didn't Mom
tell you thatCopy !req
103. I'm spending the
weekend at Beth's?
I'm leaving in five minutes.Copy !req
104. Bye. Love you.
Okay. Bye.Copy !req
105. Hey, guys,
ready for some touch?Copy !req
106. Mike and me are competing
at the skate park.Copy !req
107. I volunteered
at the animal shelter.Copy !req
108. Bye, Dad.Copy !req
109. BOYS GRUNTINGCopy !req
110. GROWLS
Nigel! Kyle! Football!Copy !req
111. EXCLAIMS IN DISGUSTCopy !req
112. Right.Copy !req
113. I'm here, Coach.Copy !req
114. You just
made the varsity,
little lady.Copy !req
115. Come on. There you go.Copy !req
116. I'll block for you.
Here we go.Copy !req
117. Go, go. Good, good.
Athletes.Copy !req
118. You okay?Copy !req
119. Yeah.
Somehow I thought
it'd get easier.Copy !req
120. Ten minutes ago,
they were all over us.Copy !req
121. Now they don't
want to be seen
with us in public.Copy !req
122. What's that doing here?Copy !req
123. I bet Lorraine
was looking
through this.Copy !req
124. That's sweet.Copy !req
125. Gosh.Copy !req
126. Cutest. Look at her.Copy !req
127. She looks
just like my mom.Copy !req
128. Wow.Copy !req
129. A lot of memories.Copy !req
130. All those summers
in Wisconsin.Copy !req
131. Swimming,
all of us camping out.
Everyone together.Copy !req
132. Yeah.
That's sweet.Copy !req
133. That had to be
the last time
we were there.Copy !req
134. What was that, three,
four years ago?Copy !req
135. Yeah.
Look at Sarah.
No teeth.Copy !req
136. We were all
one tight unit
back then.Copy !req
137. Even if we never
did beat the Murtaughs
for the Labor Day Cup.Copy !req
138. Look it. Jimmy Murtaugh.
Mr. Competitive.Copy !req
139. Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
140. He was so desperate to win,
he would... he would...
You know, he would win.Copy !req
141. All the time.
Even when we were kids,
this guy was like a...Copy !req
142. All right, honey.
Let's not go there.Copy !req
143. EXCLAIMS DELIGHTEDLYCopy !req
144. You know what?Copy !req
145. That's exactly
what we should do.
What?Copy !req
146. Go back to the lake,
the whole family on vacation,
just like we used to.Copy !req
147. I could call Mike Romanow
and see if the house
is available over Labor Day.Copy !req
148. Honey, it's such
a great idea,Copy !req
149. but the kids are
enrolled in summer school
and Nora's pregnant.Copy !req
150. That's exactly
why we should do it, Kate.
We said it. Life's blazing by.Copy !req
151. Let's go back to the lake
one last time.Copy !req
152. We did have
such good times there,
huh, honey?Copy !req
153. And you and I
had alone time,
which was nice.Copy !req
154. There's the proof.Copy !req
155. Hey, Gunner.Copy !req
156. Hey. Gunner.Copy !req
157. Let's call Mike Romanow,
honey.Copy !req
158. Okay, Charlie,
you're conferenced in
with all of us and Lorraine.Copy !req
159. Hi, Charlie.Copy !req
160. Hey, guys,
what's up?Copy !req
161. Yeah. I'm here.
It's Lorraine.Copy !req
162. We've got a surprise.Copy !req
163. Your mom and I
rented the big house
up in Lake Winnetka.Copy !req
164. Winnetka?
That's my middle name!Copy !req
165. And Lake is mine!Copy !req
166. And it's where
we're gonna spend
Labor Day.Copy !req
167. Just like in the old days.Copy !req
168. ALL SCOFFINGCopy !req
169. Dad, I'm gonna be
very pregnant then.Copy !req
170. Yeah, and I'm gonna be
apartment hunting
in New York in August.Copy !req
171. And I wanna hang out
with my friends
this summer, dude.Copy !req
172. How come Nigel and me
are named after a house?Copy !req
173. Good question.Copy !req
174. Your middle name is Winnetka,
and, Nigel,
your middle name is LakeCopy !req
175. because you two were
conceived in that house.Copy !req
176. What does conceived mean?Copy !req
177. It means Mom and Dad...Copy !req
178. Had a conversation
that we would discuss
it much laterCopy !req
179. when everybody
can understand it.Copy !req
180. Kyle and me will go anyplace
that has our name on it.Copy !req
181. Bingo. Come on!Copy !req
182. Yeah.
Well, I love the lake.
I'm in.Copy !req
183. I guess I can
cancel a couple of gigs.Copy !req
184. Bingo!Copy !req
185. Okay.
Okay, we're in.Copy !req
186. All right.Copy !req
187. We agree
to participate.Copy !req
188. Come on, dude.
We'll bring the wakeboards.Copy !req
189. We'll totally dominate.Copy !req
190. Okay. We're in.Copy !req
191. All right.
And that leaves Lorraine.Copy !req
192. Come on.
You'll have fun.
Come on.Copy !req
193. Come on, Lorraine.
Just come.Copy !req
194. All right, you guys.
Here's the deal.Copy !req
195. I'll go to the lake
if Dad stops nagging me about
not going to New York anymore.Copy !req
196. Deal! That's a dozen.
We're going to the lake!Copy !req
197. WHAT IF PLAYING
What if we could
stay like this?Copy !req
198. Sun coming down
Everything's perfectCopy !req
199. What if we never missedCopy !req
200. Another day
that time forgetsCopy !req
201. What if we?
What if we stayed like this?Copy !req
202. Who cut the cheese?Copy !req
203. Gunner farted!Copy !req
204. Gunner's laying on me.Copy !req
205. Yeah.Copy !req
206. Charlie and I are gonna
drive up tomorrow...Copy !req
207. You missed.Copy !req
208. I love you, too. Bye.
Lorraine's got
a line on a place,Copy !req
209. so she and Charlie will
come up in a couple of
days and join us.Copy !req
210. How great is that?
A couple of days?Copy !req
211. The whole point of
the vacation is that the
whole family's together.Copy !req
212. Hey.Copy !req
213. Honey, relax.Copy !req
214. All right. Remember this?
Look at the lake.
It looks fantastic!Copy !req
215. Wow. Come on, kids.
Does it look great,
or what?Copy !req
216. All right.
Let's all get out.
Hurry up.Copy !req
217. Let's go! Come on!Copy !req
218. Everyone out! Come on.
Let's check the place out.Copy !req
219. It's a dump.
Look at it.Copy !req
220. This is it?
Remember this?Copy !req
221. It looks smaller.Copy !req
222. And more disgusting.Copy !req
223. Yo, why can't we
rent that place?Copy !req
224. Well, that place is new.Copy !req
225. This place is...Copy !req
226. Older. But still nice.Copy !req
227. Yeah. You know,
that might have
a waterslide,Copy !req
228. but our place has...Copy !req
229. There are stairs.
They're fun.Copy !req
230. Yeah. So, unload,
camper dudes!Copy !req
231. Girls in the north bunk room,
boys in the south!Copy !req
232. Bud and Nora in the loft!Copy !req
233. Wow, careful.Copy !req
234. Hey, Bud.
Give the phone a rest.
We're on vacation.Copy !req
235. Hey, how'd Mad Dog
like the trip?Copy !req
236. Maybe the baby's
not gonna be
a mad dog, Tom.Copy !req
237. Well, that's a classic
linebacker name.Copy !req
238. Okay. Okay. How about
Dick Butkus McNulty?Copy !req
239. Well, maybe it's
gonna be a girl, Dad.Copy !req
240. HORN HONKSCopy !req
241. Donna Butkus McNulty.Copy !req
242. Hey, we got
the whole vacation
to figure out a name.Copy !req
243. Hey, Dad, someone's here.Copy !req
244. Hey, Mike Romanow!
Good to see you.Copy !req
245. Good to see you.Copy !req
246. So you finding
everything okay?Copy !req
247. Shouldn't be too disorganized.
Only two renters this season.Copy !req
248. The lake's a lot more
upscale now.Copy !req
249. You can thank Jimmy Murtaugh
for that one. Remember him?Copy !req
250. Yeah.
Owns most of the lake now.Copy !req
251. That's his place
over there.Copy !req
252. Well, good for Jimmy.Copy !req
253. Hey, remember Kate?Copy !req
254. Hey, Mike.
How are you?Copy !req
255. Good to see you.
Good to see you.Copy !req
256. So, listen,
if you folks don't feel
like cooking tonight,Copy !req
257. there's a big Clambake
up at the lake club.Copy !req
258. You can come
as my guests.Copy !req
259. Guests?Copy !req
260. Oh, yeah.
Club's private now.
And renovated.Copy !req
261. Homeowners only.Copy !req
262. Wow.Copy !req
263. Okay.
Put you on the list?Copy !req
264. What's going on?
Stop!Copy !req
265. GUNNER GROWLSCopy !req
266. The Chiseler.Copy !req
267. Tell me those aren't my keys.Copy !req
268. Get him outside. Okay?Copy !req
269. All right.
I remember how to
handle this guy.Copy !req
270. I can't believe
he's still alive.Copy !req
271. You know that thing?Copy !req
272. Hey. Yeah.Copy !req
273. Don't hurt him.Copy !req
274. I got him. I got him.
Nice and easy.Copy !req
275. It's a snap.
Here you go.
Hold still. Yeah.Copy !req
276. TOM GRUNTSCopy !req
277. GUNNER BARKINGCopy !req
278. Leave him alone!Copy !req
279. Gunner! Gunner!
Stay, Gunner!Copy !req
280. Get him!Copy !req
281. Mom, look out!
Icky! Icky!Copy !req
282. No! Don't light it!Copy !req
283. No explosives in the house!Copy !req
284. Nigel! Kyle!Copy !req
285. GUNNER BARKINGCopy !req
286. Gunner! Come back!Copy !req
287. NO!Copy !req
288. What was that beast?Copy !req
289. The Chiseler?
He's a pack rat.Copy !req
290. He steals stuff
and hides it in his hole.Copy !req
291. I'll get a trap
in the morning.Copy !req
292. A humane trap, right, Dad?Copy !req
293. Absolutely.
Hey, you know what?Copy !req
294. We got a fantastic
first day going here!Copy !req
295. So let's clean up and unpack,Copy !req
296. 'cause we got
a Clambake to go to!Copy !req
297. Clambake, huh?Copy !req
298. Hey, here we go!
What is all this stuff?Copy !req
299. I'm going as fast as I can.Copy !req
300. All right. Come on.
Remind me to put more
sugar in your diet.Copy !req
301. It'll get you moving.
Oh, my gosh. Honey, you
actually bought that shirt?Copy !req
302. Hey, every dad is entitled
to one hideous shirt
and one horrible sweater.Copy !req
303. It's part of the dad code.Copy !req
304. Mark, you're on
fireworks detail.Copy !req
305. Okay.Copy !req
306. What all that?
Nothing.Copy !req
307. Seat belts.Copy !req
308. Okay, kids.
You know the rules.Copy !req
309. I'm underdressed.
I thought this was supposed
to be a Clambake.Copy !req
310. Excuse me.
I'll be right back.Copy !req
311. Okay.Copy !req
312. Hey, guys,
so glad you could come.Copy !req
313. Hi, Mike.Copy !req
314. Good to see you.
So listen, kids,
food's downstairs.Copy !req
315. Mom, Dad, the bar's
right over there.
Have a great time.Copy !req
316. Best behavior.Copy !req
317. All right. Stick together.
You'll keep an eye...
Of course.Copy !req
318. Food.
See you later.Copy !req
319. SNORINGCopy !req
320. Lloyd, how are you?
Good to see you, Jimmy.Copy !req
321. There's Jimmy Murtaugh!
Just engage me
in conversation. Just...Copy !req
322. We are talking.
I know, but more intense,Copy !req
323. so he won't come up.Copy !req
324. Okay, honey.
Just hide your face.
Hide your face.Copy !req
325. Well, that's a little obvious.Copy !req
326. Look at that. Oh, God.Copy !req
327. Just gotta turn.
Turn, turn, turn.
Tom.Copy !req
328. Oh, my goodness.Copy !req
329. Look what
the wind blew in, huh?Copy !req
330. Jimmy!
Hey!Copy !req
331. Tom.Copy !req
332. Look at you!
How are you?Copy !req
333. Wow. You're looking good.
A little wrinkled around
the edges, there,Copy !req
334. but not bad for an old man.Copy !req
335. And you!Copy !req
336. Kate.Copy !req
337. Kate.
Still looking very hot
for a mother of 12.Copy !req
338. Thank you.Copy !req
339. What brings you guys
back to my lake?Copy !req
340. Your lake?
Your lake now?Copy !req
341. Well, you know,
I just have to buy
Romanow's placeCopy !req
342. and one or two
other propertiesCopy !req
343. and then I can keep
the riffraff like you
out of here. Huh?Copy !req
344. CHUCKLESCopy !req
345. I'm sorry, honey.
Tom and Kate, this is
Sarina, my new bride.Copy !req
346. Hi. Nice to meet you, Sarina.
Nice to meet you.Copy !req
347. Hi. Nice to meet you.Copy !req
348. This is the parents
of that family of pranksters
I was telling you about.Copy !req
349. Jimmy's always been jealous
'cause we have 12 kids,
and he only has eight.Copy !req
350. It's kind of a manhood thing.Copy !req
351. Well, your 12 never beat
my eight for the cup,
now, did they, Tom?Copy !req
352. Well, no.
No, they didn't.Copy !req
353. Is that why
you came back?
No.Copy !req
354. Trying to
knock my family
off the wall?Copy !req
355. No, we actually
just came
for a vacation.Copy !req
356. Come on.
Buy me a drink.Copy !req
357. Buy you a drink?
Mr. Lake!Copy !req
358. Jake Baker? Eliot Murtaugh.Copy !req
359. No way. Dude,
it's Eliot Murtaugh.Copy !req
360. Hey.
Hey.Copy !req
361. That's Mike.Copy !req
362. Hey, Mike.Copy !req
363. That's such
a cool stick!Copy !req
364. Can you bang any tricks?Copy !req
365. Yeah! Check it.Copy !req
366. Awesome!Copy !req
367. I'll have clams, please.Copy !req
368. Sorry, there's no clams.Copy !req
369. But we have
some clam fritters.Copy !req
370. So this Clambake
is clamless?Copy !req
371. Then why not just
call it a buffet?Copy !req
372. You know, sometimes
I feel like a stranger
on this planet.Copy !req
373. I couldn't
agree with you more.Copy !req
374. So, Tom, I read awhile back
you quit the head coaching
gig at Illinois Poly.Copy !req
375. What was that all about?Copy !req
376. Well, that job
was taking up
a lot of hours,Copy !req
377. and I wanted to
spend more time
with the family.Copy !req
378. Kudos.
Thank you.Copy !req
379. That's my word for the day.Copy !req
380. How fun.
It's fun to
have a word.Copy !req
381. So, Katie, I guess
with Tom at home
changing diapers,Copy !req
382. you're kind of
tearing up the
best-seller list.Copy !req
383. Well, I only had
the one book.
But I would love to...Copy !req
384. Excuse me. Waiter.
Yes, sir.Copy !req
385. Another Scotch, por favor.Copy !req
386. Anybody else?
I'm fine.Copy !req
387. Hey, what about Charlie?
Is he still playing ball?Copy !req
388. No, he's living downtown,Copy !req
389. and he's working in a garage
to help pay for tuition
to the University of Chicago.Copy !req
390. I did a guest spot
on Monster Garage
back when I was acting,Copy !req
391. and I just love
the whole engine
and cars thing.Copy !req
392. So, you're an actress.
That's great.Copy !req
393. Well, thank you, Tom.Copy !req
394. You're welcome, Sarina.Copy !req
395. Kudos.Copy !req
396. How long have
you two been married?Copy !req
397. Six amazing months.Copy !req
398. Yeah.
Right, honey?Copy !req
399. Happy anniversary.Copy !req
400. Hey, there's Mike,
Jake and Sarah.Copy !req
401. They compete
in skating contests
on a regular basis.Copy !req
402. See ya!Copy !req
403. Well, that's good.Copy !req
404. Got to start
with the small steps
before you take the big ones.Copy !req
405. Yeah.Copy !req
406. Mark Baker?Copy !req
407. Kenny the maniac!Copy !req
408. Well, if it isn't
my partner in crime.Copy !req
409. You're gonna
get in trouble,
Murtaugh.Copy !req
410. Only if I get caught, Baker.Copy !req
411. Come here.
I wanna show you
something.Copy !req
412. Please don't
get me in trouble
like you did last time.Copy !req
413. You worry too much.Copy !req
414. And how are your kids?Copy !req
415. Well, I've got three
at a private school for gifted
children in Lake Forest.Copy !req
416. Two at Andover,
one at Exeter.
Calvin's at Yale,Copy !req
417. finishing up a field study
in particle physics.Copy !req
418. Generating
a lot of interest there.Copy !req
419. Eliot was featured
in Sports Illustrated.Copy !req
420. Just won the snowboarding
junior nationals.Copy !req
421. Slope style.Copy !req
422. Well, that was no surprise.Copy !req
423. But I got to say,
Anne's still my superstar.Copy !req
424. When she finishes Harvard
after getting her M.B.A.,Copy !req
425. she's gonna come work for me
at Murtaugh Enterprises.Copy !req
426. She is definitely
corporate material.Copy !req
427. SNIFFINGCopy !req
428. Something reeks.Copy !req
429. Watch out! Make way!Copy !req
430. Look out! Look out!
Watch out!Copy !req
431. Look out! She's gonna blow!Copy !req
432. Holy cow!Copy !req
433. Cool.Copy !req
434. Okay, listen, mister.
Accident or not,Copy !req
435. you're gonna be
taking the garbage
out for a monthCopy !req
436. or something
you don't wanna do
for 30 days.Copy !req
437. So sit down.
Please, everyone.
Quiet for me.Copy !req
438. Parenting comes down
to one word, Tom. Push.Copy !req
439. If you don't push,
they don't do anything.Copy !req
440. Well, I think it's a little
more complicated than that.Copy !req
441. Is it?Copy !req
442. Most of them
went through periods
in their lifeCopy !req
443. when they worried about
making their car payments.Copy !req
444. ALL EXCLAIM IN HORRORCopy !req
445. Hey! Got you!Copy !req
446. Yeah.Copy !req
447. Hey, Nigel!
Leave Kyle's pants alone.Copy !req
448. Look.
No one was hurt.
It's fine.Copy !req
449. In fact, why don't you
and your family come over
to The Boulders sometime?Copy !req
450. The Boulders?Copy !req
451. Yeah, our cottage.Copy !req
452. We would love
to do that. You know,
sometime in the future.Copy !req
453. Hey, kids, why don't you
leave the fireworks at home?Copy !req
454. You're all welcome
at our place anytime.Copy !req
455. We've got Sea-Doos,
lasers, wireless Internet,
plasma screen satellite TVs.Copy !req
456. All the toys and whistles.Copy !req
457. Cool! Awesome!Copy !req
458. Hey, you know what?
Actually, we're here for
quality time with the kids.Copy !req
459. Come on, kids.
It's time to go. We've done
enough damage here.Copy !req
460. Up and at 'em! Thank you.Copy !req
461. So we'll probably
see you on the lake
or something.Copy !req
462. Sure. Another time.Copy !req
463. Nice to meet you.Copy !req
464. Nice meeting you, too.Copy !req
465. Good seeing you again, Tom.
Bye.Copy !req
466. You too...Copy !req
467. Kate.Copy !req
468. Kate.Copy !req
469. Boy, you know
when we were kids,Copy !req
470. I used to be so
envious of Tom Baker.Copy !req
471. He just had it all.Copy !req
472. Well, I guess the Gucci
loafer is on the other
foot now, isn't it?Copy !req
473. Everyone straight to bed.Copy !req
474. What a moron.
Honey, he's our son.Copy !req
475. Not Mark.
He's a kid.
Murtaugh.Copy !req
476. "Seems like you could
use the word push."Copy !req
477. Well, next time we see him,
let's just agree
to completely ignore him.Copy !req
478. There's not gonna
be a next time.Copy !req
479. I don't know
if the kids will
agree with that.Copy !req
480. You think that waterslide
can compete with the
tire swing I'm gonna put up?Copy !req
481. Rise and shine!
Daylight's burning!Copy !req
482. BELL RINGINGCopy !req
483. It is breakfast
at the Baker's!
Day one!Copy !req
484. Come on, sleepyheads.Copy !req
485. Is there a particular
reason that we're eating
breakfast outside?Copy !req
486. Yes.
Because it's a beautiful dayCopy !req
487. here in Lake Winnetka!Copy !req
488. It's vacation,
sweetheart.Copy !req
489. HORN HONKINGCopy !req
490. Hey, guys!
And there's the
rest of the clan!Copy !req
491. Come on! Hey, guys!
Hey, guys! Look! Come on!Copy !req
492. Hey! Welcome to
the land of plenty!Copy !req
493. It still smells
the same here.Copy !req
494. Like dead leaves
and unwashed animals
and murky lake water.Copy !req
495. That's called fresh air,
sweetheart.Copy !req
496. Watch the hat, Dad.
Sorry.Copy !req
497. Hey, you guys!Copy !req
498. Come on.
Let's go eat!Copy !req
499. Guys, we're gonna need
a forklift to get Lorraine's
suitcase out of here.Copy !req
500. What? Have I been here
30 seconds, and you're
already making fun of me?Copy !req
501. Yeah, that was my foot.Copy !req
502. Is that suitcase
just for makeup?Copy !req
503. Whatever, butch.Copy !req
504. Okay.
Big breakfast,
everybody.Copy !req
505. So you have enough room
for family activities!Copy !req
506. Family activities?Copy !req
507. Absolutely.
Appleschmear.Copy !req
508. Fishing off the dock
for Big Daddy.Copy !req
509. Hanging up the tire swing!
Getting out the diving board!Copy !req
510. I was gonna go
boarding with Eliot.Copy !req
511. And Kenneth has video games.Copy !req
512. Jessica and I were gonna use
the Murtaughs' Internet hookupCopy !req
513. so that we could research
for the academic decathlon.Copy !req
514. Precisely. We need
the extra hours.Copy !req
515. Well, you got all vacation
to go over to that place.Copy !req
516. We have all vacation to do
the family activities, too.Copy !req
517. Well, Sarah.
Hey, what about you?Copy !req
518. You wanna hang out
with Dad today?Copy !req
519. Actually, I was gonna
go boarding with Jake.Copy !req
520. And Eliot.Copy !req
521. Well, you know,
I guess we can do
lake stuff another day.Copy !req
522. Here we go, scone.Copy !req
523. Henry, Jake.Copy !req
524. All right. No...
Leave it there.
The dog will get it.Copy !req
525. SOMEDAY PLAYINGCopy !req
526. SomedayCopy !req
527. When my life
has passed me byCopy !req
528. I lay around and wonder whyCopy !req
529. You were always
there for meCopy !req
530. GUNNER BARKSCopy !req
531. Did you nail down
an apartment?Copy !req
532. I'm just waiting to hear.Copy !req
533. You know,
I'll bet you can get a place
in Chicago for half the rent.Copy !req
534. Dad, I thought
we made a deal.Copy !req
535. Man,
that dock needs work.Copy !req
536. MOTOR ROARINGCopy !req
537. Where you going?
I'm going to
the hardware store.Copy !req
538. I'm gonna fix
this place up.Copy !req
539. You got a crazy
look in your eye.Copy !req
540. What are you
gonna get there?
Tools!Copy !req
541. EXPRESS YOURSELF PLAYINGCopy !req
542. Express yourselfCopy !req
543. Express yourselfCopy !req
544. You don't ever need helpCopy !req
545. From nobody elseCopy !req
546. 'Cause all you got to do nowCopy !req
547. Honey?Copy !req
548. Honey?Copy !req
549. Okay.
Do not stand up.
Do you hear me?Copy !req
550. Dad! Dad! Dad!Copy !req
551. Hey, kids! Tire swing ready!Copy !req
552. Tire swing not ready!Copy !req
553. Well, it's not
What you look likeCopy !req
554. When you're doing
What you're doingCopy !req
555. But what you're doing
When you're doingCopy !req
556. And what you look like doingCopy !req
557. Express yourselfCopy !req
558. Express yourselfCopy !req
559. Do it on the moon y'allCopy !req
560. And in the jungle tooCopy !req
561. And the trampoline...
Please?Copy !req
562. Come on, Mark.Copy !req
563. Hey, Dad.Copy !req
564. Hey. Get bored
over at the Murtaughs?Copy !req
565. No. It was cool.
We're going back
after study time.Copy !req
566. Hey, you guys are
making time for your studies.
I'm really proud of you.Copy !req
567. Not us, Dad. Them.Copy !req
568. Mr. Murtaugh forces
all of the kids
to read and writeCopy !req
569. two hours every single day.Copy !req
570. Lame, I know.Copy !req
571. Who are these guys?Copy !req
572. What?Copy !req
573. There's no way
I'm camping out.Copy !req
574. Yes. Honey, you can do it
one night for Daddy. Come on.Copy !req
575. Right?
This doesn't
sit well with me.Copy !req
576. I know what you mean.Copy !req
577. Lorraine,
are you serious?Copy !req
578. What is she doing?
Is she kidding?Copy !req
579. That's not gonna
fit in your tent, Lorraine.Copy !req
580. I'm gonna make it fit, Dad.Copy !req
581. GRUNTSCopy !req
582. Hey, come on!
Making s'mores.Copy !req
583. S'mores!
I'll help you.Copy !req
584. Actually, we're trying
to eat only organic food,
right? Here.Copy !req
585. Yeah, we're trying to eat
only organic food.Copy !req
586. Yeah.
Is that for the baby?Copy !req
587. Come on.
The baby will love a s'more.
Party in your tummy. Let's go.Copy !req
588. Cool! The Bakers
are having a campout.Copy !req
589. Can I go over?Copy !req
590. Why have a campout
when you can have a full-on
fondue party right here, huh?Copy !req
591. Sweet.
Yeah?Copy !req
592. Charlie,
get away from the kit.Copy !req
593. Babe. That's your
fourth s'more.Copy !req
594. My parents never
let me have these.
They're amazing!Copy !req
595. Do you ever think
we should be more
strict with the kids?Copy !req
596. No, honey.
We give them love
and guidance.Copy !req
597. And that's...
You know, what else
is there, really?Copy !req
598. Yeah, but every
time we turn around,
they're either in trouble,Copy !req
599. about to get into trouble,Copy !req
600. or laying out
a long-term plan
to create trouble.Copy !req
601. Dad, how come those guys
know how to camp so good?Copy !req
602. Hey! Hey!
What if we sing
a camp song, huh?Copy !req
603. Okay.
Sounds good.Copy !req
604. There once was a man
named Michael FinneganCopy !req
605. He had some whiskers
on his chin againCopy !req
606. The wind blew them off
and they blew in againCopy !req
607. Poor old Michael Finnegan
Begin againCopy !req
608. There once was a man
named Michael FinneganCopy !req
609. He had whiskers
on his chin againCopy !req
610. What do you say
we give them a run
for their money?Copy !req
611. Finnegan
Begin againCopy !req
612. There once was a man named
Michael FinneganCopy !req
613. Will the circle be unbrokenCopy !req
614. By and by, Lord
By and byCopy !req
615. Poor old Michael Finnegan
Begin againCopy !req
616. Better home awaitingCopy !req
617. SINGING OVERLAPPINGCopy !req
618. Up! Stand up!Copy !req
619. There once was a man
named Michael FinneganCopy !req
620. He had some whiskers
on his chin againCopy !req
621. The wind blew them off
and they blew in againCopy !req
622. Poor old Michael Finnegan
Begin againCopy !req
623. By, Lord, by and byCopy !req
624. Oh, yeahCopy !req
625. Well, there's a better
Oh, yeahCopy !req
626. Home awaiting
Home awaitingCopy !req
627. In the sky, Lord
In the skyCopy !req
628. This guy is so competitive!Copy !req
629. There once was a man named
Michael FinneganCopy !req
630. He had some whiskers
on his chin againCopy !req
631. Lord, by and byCopy !req
632. Poor old Michael FinneganCopy !req
633. Oh, boy, I love camping.Copy !req
634. Yeah. This is fun.Copy !req
635. Good times. Good times.Copy !req
636. Good times. Yeah.Copy !req
637. Hey, kids, didn't you
love blowing Murtaugh
off the lake last night, huh?Copy !req
638. Kids, huh?Copy !req
639. Honey, they're all
in the house.Copy !req
640. Yeah.Copy !req
641. Hey.Copy !req
642. Hello?Copy !req
643. Happy?Copy !req
644. They can't spend
one night in the tent?Copy !req
645. Hey, Tom!Copy !req
646. Now what does
that show-off want?Copy !req
647. What a day! Hey, Tom.Copy !req
648. Boy! You have got
this place looking...Copy !req
649. Anyway.Copy !req
650. I see the troops
are sleeping in.Copy !req
651. No. They're already up.Copy !req
652. They're out cutting wood
and making biscuitsCopy !req
653. and blazing
a new trail out back.Copy !req
654. Nothing out of the ordinary.Copy !req
655. Yeah.
Really impressive.
Listen.Copy !req
656. The missus and I
are thinking of putting on
a little spread today. Okay?Copy !req
657. Now, since the kids
are getting along
so well,Copy !req
658. why don't you
and the gang come over
to The Boulders for brunch?Copy !req
659. You know,
actually we have to...Copy !req
660. Cool. What time?Copy !req
661. Mimosas at noon
on the dot!Copy !req
662. Yeah! Let's go!Copy !req
663. Attagirl.
Take it away, honey.Copy !req
664. Whoa!Copy !req
665. Adios, amigo!Copy !req
666. Isn't he, like,
the coolest dad ever?Copy !req
667. Oh, yeah. Cool.Copy !req
668. We're here.Copy !req
669. Huge!Copy !req
670. Awesome!
Dude!Copy !req
671. Kids,
we stay right here.Copy !req
672. Welcome to The Boulders.Copy !req
673. Hey.Copy !req
674. Hi.Copy !req
675. Hey.
Hi, Tom.Copy !req
676. Thanks for having us.
Where's the gift shop?Copy !req
677. You brought your dog.Copy !req
678. SonyCopy !req
679. You just say sit.
Down dog.Copy !req
680. Tom! Baker!Copy !req
681. Okay!Copy !req
682. Somebody help!
Don't join him!Copy !req
683. Stop!Copy !req
684. Get your
paws off my wife.Copy !req
685. You know, they have
these things called
obedience schools, Baker.Copy !req
686. Are you all right, honey?
I'm fine. I'm fine.Copy !req
687. Why don't you tie Fido up
for five minutes?Copy !req
688. Honey, he's fine.
Just let him play.Copy !req
689. Honey, we don't
want that animal
near the dining set.Copy !req
690. It was a gift
from the King of Thailand.Copy !req
691. Mark, there's a leash
in the car. Get it.Copy !req
692. Why don't we all go inside?Copy !req
693. Good idea, honey.Copy !req
694. Everybody inside.
I'll be right back.Copy !req
695. I'm going to the car.
Hey, Sarah.Copy !req
696. Do you want to go
on the Sea-Doo with me
and Jake before we eat?Copy !req
697. Yeah. Sure.Copy !req
698. Cool. Let's go.Copy !req
699. You coming or not, dude?Copy !req
700. Yeah.Copy !req
701. Jimmy. Almost forgot.Copy !req
702. Tom, for heaven's sake.
You didn't have to do this.Copy !req
703. "Sparkling Cheesehead?"Copy !req
704. Wisconsin's finest bubbly.Copy !req
705. I'm sure it is. Might
have to let this baby age
about 200, 300 years, Tom.Copy !req
706. Superstar, do me a favor.Copy !req
707. Take this down to
the cellar and bring us up
a nice bottle of Taittinger.Copy !req
708. Sure.Copy !req
709. I'll give you a hand.Copy !req
710. It's a fantastic place.Copy !req
711. Oh, it's not much,
but I call it
a second home.Copy !req
712. How come you guys
haven't built your own house
up here?Copy !req
713. Well, with 12 kids, you know,Copy !req
714. you got to use the money
for food and water.Copy !req
715. I bet if Tom
had kept that job
at Illinois Poly,Copy !req
716. he could've
built a place like this.Copy !req
717. Oh, well,
life's full of choices.
Some good. Some not so good.Copy !req
718. Honey, why don't you
take Kate and show her
the dining setCopy !req
719. that the King of Thailand
gave us?Copy !req
720. Okay, honey.Copy !req
721. Love to look at the plates.Copy !req
722. From a king.Copy !req
723. Don't get lost, honey.Copy !req
724. Come on, Tom. I want to
show you something.Copy !req
725. Feast your eyes
on these honeys, Tom.Copy !req
726. Albino ironwood right out of
the Peruvian rainforest.Copy !req
727. You can still
smell the jungle on them.
Go ahead. Take a whiff.Copy !req
728. Come on.
Rest your honker on the log
and take a whiff.Copy !req
729. SNIFFSCopy !req
730. Smells like global warming.Copy !req
731. That's moss.
That's moss, Tom.Copy !req
732. Well, this is
the trophy room.Copy !req
733. Are those your kids?Copy !req
734. Yeah. That's
the Murtaugh victory reel.
It's on a loop.Copy !req
735. It's a good room.Copy !req
736. I'll tell you why
I love this room
so much, Tom.Copy !req
737. All the trophies,
the ribbons, the prizes,
past, present and future.Copy !req
738. It's proof that children
can be groomedCopy !req
739. to reflect the best aspects
of any given gene pool.Copy !req
740. Just have to keep them
on a short leash.Copy !req
741. I couldn't agree more.Copy !req
742. My Anne's proof of that.Copy !req
743. You're looking
a lot more put together
than you did a few years ago.Copy !req
744. Thanks.Copy !req
745. Well, remember
your nose was a little
too big for your face.Copy !req
746. And that skin irritation
you had on your hand...Copy !req
747. It just kept working its way
up your arm and into your
neck and over the side of...Copy !req
748. It's...
Glad that it's gone though.
It looks good.Copy !req
749. Well, if I remember correctly,
you weren't so hot yourself.Copy !req
750. GUNNER BARKINGCopy !req
751. That mutt could use
a shorter leash, too.Copy !req
752. She's so cool.Copy !req
753. Yeah, the kids and I
spent a weekend putting
that dock together.Copy !req
754. Nothing like a little manual
labor to keep you humble.
Sit down, Tom.Copy !req
755. Let's hope Jimmy
has matching pants
to that shirt.Copy !req
756. Yeah, boy.
This place wasn't
put together overnight.Copy !req
757. Does Daddy know
about your tattoo?Copy !req
758. No!Copy !req
759. I'm sorry, Mom.
I'm so sorry.Copy !req
760. Mom, I...
It's okay. Yeah, I'm fine.Copy !req
761. It's like spring break.
Hope I win the contest.Copy !req
762. I've got a shirt
you can borrow.Copy !req
763. A shirt? Okay.
Yeah.Copy !req
764. Mom...
I'm sorry.Copy !req
765. You okay?
Yeah. I'm fine.Copy !req
766. If my dad finds out
before I tell him...Copy !req
767. You'll get grounded?Copy !req
768. Please.Copy !req
769. Just don't say anything.Copy !req
770. Nice hands.Copy !req
771. Hey, guys,
look at this!Copy !req
772. That's awesome!Copy !req
773. Hey, Sarah.
Hey, Dad!Copy !req
774. You should see Mr. Murtaugh's
new Sea-D00. It's so awesome!Copy !req
775. That's terrific.Copy !req
776. Now turn around
and pretend to be
looking at the view.Copy !req
777. Turn around and pretend
to be looking at the view.Copy !req
778. Are you still in touch
with your dark gifts?Copy !req
779. Punking? Practical jokes?Copy !req
780. Soaking underwear in...
Meat.Copy !req
781. Yeah.Copy !req
782. Yeah.
Classic.Copy !req
783. Yeah, I'm in touch. Why?Copy !req
784. I...
I have a mission for you.Copy !req
785. Who's the target?Copy !req
786. Murtaugh.Copy !req
787. Hmm.Copy !req
788. I can help you.Copy !req
789. Hi! As long as
I don't do time
for the crime.Copy !req
790. Hey, guys. Hi!Copy !req
791. Done.Copy !req
792. No grounding.Copy !req
793. No allowance dockage.Copy !req
794. No boring spiel
about the difference
between right and wrong?Copy !req
795. And you have no problem with
the methods that I choose?Copy !req
796. Hey!
It's your contract.Copy !req
797. Do with it what you will.Copy !req
798. Agreed?Copy !req
799. Agreed.Copy !req
800. Hey! Give Daddy a hug!
Nail him.Copy !req
801. Guys, guys, guys.
I have a mission for you.Copy !req
802. It's top secret,
and it's high priority.
Yeah?Copy !req
803. What is it?Copy !req
804. Come on. I'll show you.Copy !req
805. Positions.Copy !req
806. Check.
Check.Copy !req
807. Thank you.Copy !req
808. My gosh!
It's a purple bigfoot!Copy !req
809. What?Copy !req
810. The purple bigfoot!Copy !req
811. A What?Copy !req
812. I don't see anything.Copy !req
813. Made you look!
Made you look!
Made you look!Copy !req
814. You're so stupid.Copy !req
815. Did I mention the dining set
was a gift from the...Copy !req
816. King of Thailand?
Yeah, you did. Yeah.Copy !req
817. Hey, Bud.
Give me that roll!Copy !req
818. Well, I see your kids
can't wait to get started.Copy !req
819. Well, that's just
the way they are.Copy !req
820. Hey
you guys, no eating
until everyone's seated.Copy !req
821. Okay. Now...Copy !req
822. Wow.Copy !req
823. Eyes up here, honey.Copy !req
824. Doesn't
she look hot?Copy !req
825. Wow.
She doesn't hold
a candle to you, honey.Copy !req
826. Where you been all my life?Copy !req
827. All right.Copy !req
828. Tom, right over here.Copy !req
829. Thank you.Copy !req
830. Ignore the place card, Tom.
Sit next to your wife.Copy !req
831. Fine, fine.
If you want chaos.Copy !req
832. Right here, Tom.Copy !req
833. Believe me,
I don't mind.Copy !req
834. Dad, don't...Copy !req
835. SQUISHINGCopy !req
836. The seat cushion is soft.Copy !req
837. So,
you two play tennis?Copy !req
838. Yeah.
Yeah. We play tennis.Copy !req
839. You're in the meat seat.Copy !req
840. The what seat?Copy !req
841. GUNNER GROWLSCopy !req
842. I knew that dog
was gonna be trouble!Copy !req
843. Whoa!Copy !req
844. Whoa!Copy !req
845. Sit! Stop!Copy !req
846. My china.Copy !req
847. Where is he?Copy !req
848. I don't know.Copy !req
849. You don't know?Copy !req
850. Whoa!Copy !req
851. It's okay.
It happens all the time.Copy !req
852. No, it doesn't. I'm so sorry.
I'm really embarrassed.Copy !req
853. Thank you
for the lovely shirt.Copy !req
854. Jimmy, I insist that
you send me a bill for this.Copy !req
855. Don't even
think about it, Tom.Copy !req
856. What's a few thousand dollars
here or there?Copy !req
857. The main thing is
you had a good time.Copy !req
858. We'll talk about it later.Copy !req
859. I'll see you
on the tennis court.Copy !req
860. Yeah. And bring your A game.Copy !req
861. What was that?
Nothing.Copy !req
862. No, no, no.
That was not nothing.Copy !req
863. This was not nothing.
That was something.Copy !req
864. That was...
All right. In the house.Copy !req
865. Yeah, I know.
I'm a horrible father.Copy !req
866. Well, honey, you know,
you broke your promise.Copy !req
867. What promise?Copy !req
868. You said,
you weren't gonna
get involvedCopy !req
869. in this whole
competitive thing
with Jimmy.Copy !req
870. And that you were
over it, and it's
just all so infantile.Copy !req
871. Well, he tried to tell us
how we should raise the kids.Copy !req
872. Meaning what?Copy !req
873. Yeah, he thinks
the kids are,
you know...Copy !req
874. Did he say the kids were...
He didn't say
that the kids were,Copy !req
875. but you could tell
that he implied,
that's what he thought.Copy !req
876. The kids were...
Yeah, you know.Copy !req
877. Uh-uh.Copy !req
878. "Uh-uh" is right.Copy !req
879. "I do not like
green eggs and ham.Copy !req
880. "I do not like them,
Sam-I-am."Copy !req
881. You're a little old
for that book,
aren't you, Bud?Copy !req
882. She's reading
to the baby, Tom.Copy !req
883. Reading to the baby?
Yeah, unborn babies,Copy !req
884. they're comforted
by the sound of
their mother's voice.Copy !req
885. Yeah, just don't
spoil my linebacker.Copy !req
886. The baby's gonna be
what it wants to be.Copy !req
887. Just let us be the parents.
Okay, Dad?Copy !req
888. Come on, Bud. I'm hungry.Copy !req
889. Yeah, me, too.Copy !req
890. Hi, Mr. Baker!Copy !req
891. Hi, Eliot. What's up?Copy !req
892. I was looking for Sarah.
You mean Jake.Copy !req
893. No, Sarah and I and Calvin,
we're going boarding
again this afternoon.Copy !req
894. Well, well,
she'll be back soon.Copy !req
895. Okay. I'll just
wait on the dock.Copy !req
896. MUMBLESCopy !req
897. Sit down.Copy !req
898. Okay.Copy !req
899. Yeah.Copy !req
900. What do you do
for a living, Eliot?Copy !req
901. I'm in eighth grade.Copy !req
902. Oh, yeah, right.
Right, right.Copy !req
903. And how's that
going for you?Copy !req
904. Fine.Copy !req
905. You on any teams?Copy !req
906. Football, boarding
and baseball.Copy !req
907. All that focus on sports,
that must impact
your grades quite a bit.Copy !req
908. No. Actually, you know,
I'm an honors student.Copy !req
909. Right. Yeah.Copy !req
910. You play any instruments?Copy !req
911. Drums.Copy !req
912. Yeah. You're probably
in one of those
punk bands, right?Copy !req
913. Timpani? You know,
school orchestra? Yeah.Copy !req
914. Hey, Eliot.Copy !req
915. See you, Mr. Baker.Copy !req
916. Later, dude... Dad.Copy !req
917. Guys!Copy !req
918. What now?Copy !req
919. Mind if I go
water boarding
with you?Copy !req
920. It's kneeboarding,
and I'm pretty sure
that you can't do it.Copy !req
921. Hey, if Jimmy can do it,
I can do it.
You must be Calvin, huh?Copy !req
922. Yeah, nice to meet you.
I just got back from Yale.Copy !req
923. Congratulations.
I'll just squeeze in
over here.Copy !req
924. There we go.Copy !req
925. Everybody ready?
Yeah.Copy !req
926. Okay.Copy !req
927. Fun, huh?Copy !req
928. Yeah, why don't you
go first?Copy !req
929. You guys
keep an eye on him,
all right?Copy !req
930. You ready, Mr. Baker?Copy !req
931. Okay, I'm...Copy !req
932. Sorry he interrogated you.Copy !req
933. It's okay.
My dad would have
done the same thing.Copy !req
934. Yeah.
Really?Copy !req
935. You should come
to my house sometime.Copy !req
936. Slow down!Copy !req
937. Hey! Hey! Hey! That...Copy !req
938. He's really easy,
really nice.Copy !req
939. Really?Copy !req
940. Do you have
a favorite subject?Copy !req
941. Probably math.Copy !req
942. Little help.Copy !req
943. Oh, God!Copy !req
944. Stop!Copy !req
945. You'll do better next time,
Mr. Baker. It's okay.Copy !req
946. You sure he'll be okay?Copy !req
947. Yeah. He'll be fine.Copy !req
948. CRASHINGCopy !req
949. Dad! Are you okay?Copy !req
950. It's all good!Copy !req
951. Well. I'll go put on
a little perfume.Copy !req
952. Sarah, Eliot seems okay.Copy !req
953. I see why you like him.Copy !req
954. Somebody's turning red.Copy !req
955. Shut up!Copy !req
956. You know, thanks a lot, Dad.Copy !req
957. What'd I say?Copy !req
958. Men can be so clueless.Copy !req
959. Honey, men aren't clueless.Copy !req
960. I'll go talk to her.Copy !req
961. Mom, let me do this, okay?Copy !req
962. Trust me. I've got
a little experienceCopy !req
963. in the area of
parental harassment.Copy !req
964. Hey, I totally know
how you feel.
How are you?Copy !req
965. Dad can be pretty hands-on,
in-your-face sometimes, huh?Copy !req
966. Just leave me alone.Copy !req
967. A, I'm never trying
to help her again,Copy !req
968. and, B, I cannot wait
to move to New York.Copy !req
969. What are you doing here?Copy !req
970. This is where I run.
What are you doing here?Copy !req
971. I like to
get out of the house.Copy !req
972. Take a break from
the perfect daughter
bit, huh?Copy !req
973. Hey, I'm not the only one
who's putting on an act
for Daddy around here.Copy !req
974. You've hated the city
since we were kids.Copy !req
975. Why'd you go
to school there?Copy !req
976. Seemed like
the right thing
to do at the time.Copy !req
977. Did it seem like
the right thing to doCopy !req
978. because your parents said
it was the right thing to do?Copy !req
979. No, because my parents
wanted me closer to home,
that's why.Copy !req
980. Are you gonna
live at home forever?Copy !req
981. No. I just gotta
figure out my next move.Copy !req
982. And do it.Copy !req
983. But how about you, Superstar?
What's the master plan, huh?Copy !req
984. Somehow I gotta figure
out how to tell my dadCopy !req
985. that I'm not built
for the corporate life.Copy !req
986. Good luck.Copy !req
987. So, for now,
I'm just gonna draw.Copy !req
988. What do you draw?Copy !req
989. Stay still, Baker.Copy !req
990. Yeah, right.
You're not drawing me,
'cause I'm gonna...Copy !req
991. Okay. Right here?
Is this good?
If I stay right here,Copy !req
992. I think it might be better
if I...
Stop smiling.Copy !req
993. Sarah! Come on!
Hurry up!Copy !req
994. Okay, okay.Copy !req
995. Has anybody seen
my other tennis shoe?Copy !req
996. No.Copy !req
997. No. I haven't.Copy !req
998. Have you seen
my other tennis shoe?Copy !req
999. No. Chiseler!Copy !req
1000. You chiseling little...Copy !req
1001. GUNNER BARKINGCopy !req
1002. Great.Copy !req
1003. Hey, how you doing?Copy !req
1004. Hey, guys.Copy !req
1005. Good to see you.
Hi, Sarina.
Hi.Copy !req
1006. Nice shoes. Kidding.
Let's warm up.Copy !req
1007. Okay, let's do it, huh?
Let's do it.Copy !req
1008. Come on, Murtaugh.Copy !req
1009. Got it!Copy !req
1010. I don't remember you
out here when we were kids.Copy !req
1011. Dad didn't allow us to
come out into the woods.Copy !req
1012. Okay. I'm done.Copy !req
1013. That's Charlie Baker,
figuring out his next move.Copy !req
1014. You're good.Copy !req
1015. Tell my dad.Copy !req
1016. Maybe he'll let me
transfer from Harvard
to Madison Art School.Copy !req
1017. You wanna live up here
and go to school?Copy !req
1018. This lake is, like,
my favorite place on
the planet Earth. Why?Copy !req
1019. I've just always fantasized
about moving up here.Copy !req
1020. I don't know,
maybe open up
a garage or something.Copy !req
1021. Looks like you figured out
your next move.Copy !req
1022. I think you're right.Copy !req
1023. You... You wanna go
for a walk or something?Copy !req
1024. Is Charlie Baker
asking me out
on a date?Copy !req
1025. I'm not sure our fathers
would approve, but...Copy !req
1026. Yeah.
Let's go.Copy !req
1027. Yours. Nice. Nice!Copy !req
1028. This is mine.Copy !req
1029. CHUCKLESCopy !req
1030. It's these shoes.
Okay. All right.Copy !req
1031. A poor workman
blames his tools, Tom.Copy !req
1032. Just serve it.Copy !req
1033. This is payback
for the china.Copy !req
1034. Come on.
Give me your best, Jimmy,
give me your best!Copy !req
1035. I got it!Copy !req
1036. I got it.Copy !req
1037. I got it.
I got it!
I got it!Copy !req
1038. I got it.
Got it!Copy !req
1039. Mine!Copy !req
1040. Got it!
I got it.Copy !req
1041. BOTH GRUNTINGCopy !req
1042. Mine.Copy !req
1043. It's turbo.
Dude,Copy !req
1044. I'm in so much trouble
from the other night.
There's no way.Copy !req
1045. Don't be a wimp.Copy !req
1046. I'm not a wimp.Copy !req
1047. Come on. Get in.Copy !req
1048. Okay.
Just one little cruise.Copy !req
1049. Come on, Baker.
I'm getting old here.Copy !req
1050. Just be careful.Copy !req
1051. Slow down!Copy !req
1052. Mr. and Mrs. Baker,
excuse me.Copy !req
1053. There's a call from security
over at the gift shop.Copy !req
1054. What's this about?
Just follow me.Copy !req
1055. Slow down! Stop!Copy !req
1056. Okay. We're willing to
let it slide this timeCopy !req
1057. if you promise
to keep your kids
under control.Copy !req
1058. I really appreciate that,
and we'll take care of it.
Thank you.Copy !req
1059. There you go. Thanks again.
Thank you, Mr. Murtaugh.Copy !req
1060. You just gonna
talk to her, Tom?Copy !req
1061. Howl discipline my kids
is none of your business.Copy !req
1062. You know, I've been trying
to say this in a nice way,
but...Copy !req
1063. Well, there's a reason
your kids are screw-ups.Copy !req
1064. My kids screwed up.
They are not screw-ups.Copy !req
1065. You're not strict enough.Copy !req
1066. Parenting isn't
a popularity contest, Tom.Copy !req
1067. But I guess if you
knew that, your kids
wouldn't be so undisciplined.Copy !req
1068. The only problem with my kids
is that they're hanging out
with your kids.Copy !req
1069. It wasn't my daughter
who got caught stealing.Copy !req
1070. And it wasn't my son
who trashed a tennis court!Copy !req
1071. Do you actually think
I'm screwing up my kids,
Baker?Copy !req
1072. Yeah. And one day,
they're gonna crack.Copy !req
1073. Well, why don't we test
that theory on Labor Day?
Murtaughs versus Bakers.Copy !req
1074. For the cup.Copy !req
1075. You're on.Copy !req
1076. We'll see you there.Copy !req
1077. Let's go.Copy !req
1078. Honey, did you just agree
to that competition thing,Copy !req
1079. and the cup and...
Yeah.Copy !req
1080. Okay, missy,
let's go walk and talk.Copy !req
1081. Wanna tell me
what this is all about?
Because it's so not you.Copy !req
1082. I was embarrassed.Copy !req
1083. Look at me, honey.
Embarrassed about what?Copy !req
1084. Makeup.Copy !req
1085. Oh, honey.Copy !req
1086. You know you can come to me
any time with anything.
You know that, right?Copy !req
1087. Okay.Copy !req
1088. And I know why
you wanted the makeup.
It was for Eliot, right?Copy !req
1089. Yeah.
Yeah.Copy !req
1090. I'm just not pretty
like Nora or Lorraine.Copy !req
1091. I thought maybe
the makeup would help.Copy !req
1092. You're beautiful.Copy !req
1093. And I want you
to remember something else,Copy !req
1094. and it's really important.Copy !req
1095. That when you like a boy,
never be anybody but yourself.Copy !req
1096. Eliot liked you
without makeup,
didn't he?Copy !req
1097. Do you think
he really likes me?Copy !req
1098. How could he not?Copy !req
1099. No more felonies. Deal?
Deal.Copy !req
1100. Deal. Good.Copy !req
1101. I guess the Labor Day Cup's
gonna be a bloodbath.Copy !req
1102. You got that right.Copy !req
1103. All right. From now on,
no seeing the Murtaughs,Copy !req
1104. no talking to the
Murtaughs, no thinking
about the Murtaughs.Copy !req
1105. Can't we compete,
and still, like,
see them?Copy !req
1106. No! Right now,
I am not a father.
I am a coach.Copy !req
1107. And we're gonna be
training twice a day,
every day,Copy !req
1108. starting outside
in 10 minutes.Copy !req
1109. UNDER PRESSURE PLAYINGCopy !req
1110. Jumping jacks!
Jumping jacks!
Good!Copy !req
1111. Lorraine, come on!Copy !req
1112. Push-ups! One, two!
Now back up
to jumping jacks.Copy !req
1113. Lorraine! Come on!Copy !req
1114. EXCLAIMSCopy !req
1115. And toss.Copy !req
1116. Toss. Toss.Copy !req
1117. Dad!
Toss.Copy !req
1118. Just toss!
Dad, lay off!Copy !req
1119. Toss!
I'm tossing!Copy !req
1120. No crying!Copy !req
1121. Step back!
That's it! I can't handleCopy !req
1122. this pressure, Dad!Copy !req
1123. Eggs cost money!Copy !req
1124. Okay,
it's a three-legged race.Copy !req
1125. You will run as if
you had two!Copy !req
1126. On your mark, get set, go!Copy !req
1127. Come on! Go! Come on!Copy !req
1128. Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
It's your fault!Copy !req
1129. Come on, come on.
Get in. Come on.Copy !req
1130. Murtaugh, Murtaugh, Murtaugh,
Murtaugh, Murtaugh, Murtaugh!Copy !req
1131. Dad!
Dad!
We're not Murtaughs!Copy !req
1132. Chipping around
Kick my brains
around the floorCopy !req
1133. These are the days
It never rains but it poursCopy !req
1134. Take a deep swing,
boom. Just like that.Copy !req
1135. Hold it up.Copy !req
1136. People on streetsCopy !req
1137. People on streetsCopy !req
1138. It's the terror of knowing
What this world is aboutCopy !req
1139. Watching some good friendsCopy !req
1140. Nice.Copy !req
1141. Give it a good one.
Come on.Copy !req
1142. One more.Copy !req
1143. That's a zero.Copy !req
1144. Under pressureCopy !req
1145. PressureCopy !req
1146. I really love having
a family dinnerCopy !req
1147. where all you can hear
is forks hitting the plates.Copy !req
1148. You know, this could be our
last chance to be together,
and you're totally ruining it.Copy !req
1149. I'm glad we're
moving to Houston,Copy !req
1150. and so is Iron Mike
or Donna Baker Butkus McNulty.Copy !req
1151. Bulk up.Copy !req
1152. You're burning a hole
in my face.Copy !req
1153. Tom.Copy !req
1154. You gotta stop this whole
training camp thing.Copy !req
1155. This is not some little
fence line squabble, Kate.Copy !req
1156. This is an epic battle
between two families.Copy !req
1157. No. No, no, honey.
I think this is
Tom versus Jimmy.Copy !req
1158. And I'm sorry, General,
but you're starting to lose
the respect of your troops.Copy !req
1159. And that's dangerous.
Give the kids some space.Copy !req
1160. Are you asking me
to back out of
the competition?Copy !req
1161. No, honey. It's just...
Especially with Sarah.Copy !req
1162. This is her
first crush.
Come on.Copy !req
1163. What, with Eliot?Copy !req
1164. Yes.Copy !req
1165. She needs to know
that we trust her.Copy !req
1166. She couldn't even
come to me and tell me
she wanted to wear makeup.Copy !req
1167. Is that
the kind of relationship
you want her to have with us?Copy !req
1168. Hey, Sarina. Oh, wow.
Hi.Copy !req
1169. Let's run.Copy !req
1170. CHUCKLESCopy !req
1171. Just leave it.
They'll get somebody.
Okay.Copy !req
1172. The kids drop stuff all
the time and then run away,
leave me standing there.Copy !req
1173. Can I ask you a question?Copy !req
1174. Sure.Copy !req
1175. How do you manage 12 kids?Copy !req
1176. With great difficulty.
Trust me.Copy !req
1177. Good. 'Cause I have
no idea what I'm doing.Copy !req
1178. Well, you got
a lot of fruit
in the cart.Copy !req
1179. I'd get some of this
refined sugar.Copy !req
1180. It's great for
negotiating purposes,
or whatever.Copy !req
1181. Jimmy's gone overboard
with this whole
tough love thing.Copy !req
1182. I mean,
the kids are miserable,
and he doesn't even see it.Copy !req
1183. Well. He and Tom
bring out the best
in each other, don't they?Copy !req
1184. I'm actually getting
a kick out of it. I find
them very entertaining.Copy !req
1185. And exhausting.Copy !req
1186. Mmm. This is good.Copy !req
1187. If tonight's good,
I'll ask my dad.Copy !req
1188. Yeah.
So, hopefully,
tonight will work?Copy !req
1189. Okay. See you.Copy !req
1190. Not my little girl.Copy !req
1191. Hey, Dad.Copy !req
1192. Are you okay?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
1193. I just need you to
help me pace out 25 yards
for the egg race.Copy !req
1194. Starting here. Okay?
There you go.Copy !req
1195. Yeah.
Okay. Go ahead.Copy !req
1196. Hey, Dad, I was...Copy !req
1197. Those.
Those steps
are too small.Copy !req
1198. Those steps are...
Can I go to the moviesCopy !req
1199. with Eliot Murtaugh tonight?Copy !req
1200. are too big.Copy !req
1201. I guess so.Copy !req
1202. Sarah!Copy !req
1203. Sarah, Nora has to urinate.Copy !req
1204. And a full bladder puts
inordinate strain on the
amniotic sac, which can...Copy !req
1205. Kim! Thank you.
We could just go
with "hurry up."Copy !req
1206. Hurry up!
Hurry up!Copy !req
1207. I need Lorraine.Copy !req
1208. You get Lorraine.
I'll pee outside.Copy !req
1209. Hey, it's me.Copy !req
1210. How's it going?Copy !req
1211. Well, Eliot
asked me out, andCopy !req
1212. I'm kind of new to
the whole dating thing, so...Copy !req
1213. Aren't you gonna
make me beg?Copy !req
1214. I was thinking about it.Copy !req
1215. Come on.Copy !req
1216. Let's start with
your makeup.Copy !req
1217. Lorraine...Copy !req
1218. Thanks.
Don't worry about it.Copy !req
1219. Pink?
Come on.Copy !req
1220. Can't we do, like,
a skin color?Copy !req
1221. Come on.Copy !req
1222. There you go.Copy !req
1223. It looks good.Copy !req
1224. And my brother,
15 stitches under his eye.Copy !req
1225. Hey, you guys. Guys!Copy !req
1226. I need everybody's
attention. Sarah's
about to come downstairs,Copy !req
1227. and she's going
on her date tonight.Copy !req
1228. She looks a little
different, okay?Copy !req
1229. So I would
really appreciate itCopy !req
1230. if you guys could give
her the respect that you
never gave me, all right?Copy !req
1231. And not ridicule
her style choicesCopy !req
1232. before she enters the world
of multi-gender interaction.Copy !req
1233. Okay, so go about
your little chores
and act completely natural.Copy !req
1234. Lorraine.Copy !req
1235. I think you're gonna
do just fine in New York.Copy !req
1236. Thank you!Copy !req
1237. WHIMPERSCopy !req
1238. Hubba-hubba!Copy !req
1239. You look very pretty, honey.
You always do.Copy !req
1240. Thank you.
Well, I'm going
to the movies.Copy !req
1241. Well, sounds good.
You need some money?Copy !req
1242. No, I have some
from lawn mowing.Copy !req
1243. Limo's here!Copy !req
1244. There's Mr. Murtaugh.Copy !req
1245. Okay. Well, have fun.Copy !req
1246. And I'll pick you up
outside the theater at 9:00.Copy !req
1247. Okay. Bye.Copy !req
1248. Bye.
Bye, cutie.Copy !req
1249. And I'll save a spot
for you on the varsity.Copy !req
1250. Have fun.Copy !req
1251. How cute was she, huh?
Yeah.Copy !req
1252. Seems like yesterday
that was you, missy.Copy !req
1253. You're not gonna
start crying,
are you, Dad?Copy !req
1254. Hey, I'm a football coach,
remember?Copy !req
1255. Right.Copy !req
1256. I like Henrietta.
You are not gonnaCopy !req
1257. name our baby Henrietta.Copy !req
1258. All right,
what do we got to eat?Copy !req
1259. CLOCK TICKING RAPIDLYCopy !req
1260. Can I go to the movies
with Eliot Murtaugh tonight?Copy !req
1261. HEART BEATS LOUDLYCopy !req
1262. Can I go to the movies
with Eliot Murtaugh tonight?Copy !req
1263. Can I go to the movies
with Eliot Murtaugh tonight?Copy !req
1264. Honey,
you want something to eat?Copy !req
1265. HEART BEATING LOUDERCopy !req
1266. Tom, sweetie,
do you want
something to eat?Copy !req
1267. Oh, no.
You know what? Actually,
I should go get Sarah.Copy !req
1268. It's 7:30.
The movie just started.Copy !req
1269. I'm not going directly there.
I'm just gonna stop
and get gas first.Copy !req
1270. Okay.Copy !req
1271. There's bound to be traffic,Copy !req
1272. you know,
'cause it's Labor Day weekend
and everything, and...Copy !req
1273. Sure there is.
I'll get going.Copy !req
1274. And I don't trust
those fish clocks.Copy !req
1275. They're notoriously slow.Copy !req
1276. I love you, sweetheart.Copy !req
1277. Thank you.Copy !req
1278. One, please.Copy !req
1279. GROWLINGCopy !req
1280. What are you
doing here?Copy !req
1281. Well, if you must know,Copy !req
1282. I'm still here to make sure
this movie is appropriate
for our children.Copy !req
1283. It's rated G.Copy !req
1284. SHUSHESCopy !req
1285. Mom.
Sir,Copy !req
1286. could you please sit down?Copy !req
1287. Yeah.Copy !req
1288. What are you
doing here so early?Copy !req
1289. Father of the daughter
always arrives earlyCopy !req
1290. for pick-up duty.
Everybody knows that.Copy !req
1291. Excuse me.
Is there a problem here?Copy !req
1292. Yes. This man's
harassing me.Copy !req
1293. This man's guilty
of overparenting.Copy !req
1294. If you two can't keep
it down, I'm gonna
throw both of you out.Copy !req
1295. CLEARS THROATCopy !req
1296. Oh, my God! Look at this.Copy !req
1297. What?
He's stretching.Copy !req
1298. He's doing the move.Copy !req
1299. What move?Copy !req
1300. You're sitting
in the theater.
You fake a yawn.Copy !req
1301. Oh, boy,
am I tired.Copy !req
1302. Hand comes over.Copy !req
1303. Then a little while later,
the head comes over,Copy !req
1304. giving extra reach here,
right?Copy !req
1305. Mom, look.
Those two down there.Copy !req
1306. See what I mean?Copy !req
1307. Oh, sweet Jesus.Copy !req
1308. USHER CLEARS THROATCopy !req
1309. Warning number two.Copy !req
1310. He was showing me
the move.Copy !req
1311. Do you mind?Copy !req
1312. You don't know the move?Copy !req
1313. No, I don't know
the move, okay?Copy !req
1314. And I wasn't a hormone-crazed
Romeo when I was a kid.
I had self-control.Copy !req
1315. I had social
sophistication,Copy !req
1316. just like my son.
Be quiet down there!Copy !req
1317. Your son has
raging hormones like
every other male teenager.Copy !req
1318. Meaning what?Copy !req
1319. Meaning
on the sophistication scale,
he's one step above ape.Copy !req
1320. Are you calling
my son an ape?Copy !req
1321. He's an ape
like every other
male teenager.Copy !req
1322. Take it back.Copy !req
1323. I'm not gonna take it back.Copy !req
1324. Take it...Copy !req
1325. Take it back.Copy !req
1326. Were you gonna poke me?Copy !req
1327. No, I was
not gonna poke you.Copy !req
1328. You were
gonna poke me.Copy !req
1329. Because you were
asking for it.Copy !req
1330. Well, if I'm asking for it,
why don't you give it to me?
Give me a poke.Copy !req
1331. You want a poke?Copy !req
1332. What is going on
down there?Copy !req
1333. There.Copy !req
1334. You call that a poke?Copy !req
1335. I call that a practice.
Give me your best poke.Copy !req
1336. You don't want
my best poke.
I want your best poke!Copy !req
1337. You're asking for it.Copy !req
1338. Go ahead!
No, I do! Come on!Copy !req
1339. Call somebody!
We need help!Copy !req
1340. Great.Copy !req
1341. Help him,
pull him up.Copy !req
1342. Hey, honey,
how did it go?Copy !req
1343. Dad was totally
spying on me!Copy !req
1344. You ruined everything.Copy !req
1345. There's no way
that I'm competing for you
in that stupid cup tomorrow.Copy !req
1346. I can't believe
you did that.Copy !req
1347. Really, Dad.
That is so Big Brother.Copy !req
1348. Yeah, let's go.Copy !req
1349. Come on, Bud.
Let's put this baby to bed.Copy !req
1350. Not cool, Dad.Copy !req
1351. You know, you and Jimmy
aren't so different, Dad.Copy !req
1352. Different styles, yeah,
but same result.
Let's go, guys.Copy !req
1353. Oh, honey.Copy !req
1354. Honey,
we talked about this,
didn't we?Copy !req
1355. The tighter you hang on,
the more they're gonna
pull away, right?Copy !req
1356. Oh, God.
I'll go talk to her.Copy !req
1357. Hey.
Well, we're gonna go
compete for the cup.Copy !req
1358. Couldn't get
any more volunteers, huh?Copy !req
1359. You gonna come
and watch us
kick some heinie?Copy !req
1360. Well, maybe I will, honey,
if I get everybody fed and...Copy !req
1361. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1362. Okay, guys.
Come on. Let's go.Copy !req
1363. Come on, Dad.Copy !req
1364. Yeah.Copy !req
1365. And I'm sorry, too.Copy !req
1366. Did Dad go?Copy !req
1367. Yep. With Kyle and Nigel.Copy !req
1368. SQUEAKINGCopy !req
1369. Hey! The Chiseler's
got my wallet.Copy !req
1370. Yeah.
Check it out.Copy !req
1371. He must have an escape hatch.
Look at all this stuff.Copy !req
1372. That's mine from,
like, the '80s.Copy !req
1373. Oh, my goodness.Copy !req
1374. Underwear.Copy !req
1375. Careful. Careful.Copy !req
1376. Honey, let me see that.Copy !req
1377. Look at this.Copy !req
1378. It's our old team flag.Copy !req
1379. From that year we lost
to the Murtaughs
by two points.Copy !req
1380. Yeah, 'cause Mom
fell in the sack race.Copy !req
1381. Daddy carried me
all the way home.
Lot of memories.Copy !req
1382. And you know your father.
He wants to be a part
of every single one of them.Copy !req
1383. That's why he's having
such a hard time letting go.Copy !req
1384. But you know
one thing for sure.
No matter what Daddy says,Copy !req
1385. if he's in a good mood
or a bad mood, you're his
favorite team, right?Copy !req
1386. And left! And right!Copy !req
1387. And left! And right!Copy !req
1388. And left! And...Copy !req
1389. Bakers.Copy !req
1390. What gives, Tom?
Couldn't rally your team?Copy !req
1391. Well, it's all I've got,
but it's enough to
take you down, Murtaugh.Copy !req
1392. Are you kidding me?
You'll be lucky
to beat the Doobners.Copy !req
1393. Come on, Big Daddy,
shake it out.
Shake it out.Copy !req
1394. We'll see.
Come on, guys.Copy !req
1395. We'll see.Copy !req
1396. Okay, ladies and gentlemen,
here we go. Welcome, everyone,Copy !req
1397. to the 46th Annual
Lake Winnetka Labor Day Cup.Copy !req
1398. Now we have seven families
competing in 10 events today.Copy !req
1399. And the family winning
the most events
will win the cup.Copy !req
1400. Simple enough.
So let's get to it, all right?
Contestants, here we go!Copy !req
1401. Okay, guys,
let's do this, huh?Copy !req
1402. HORN HONKINGCopy !req
1403. Hey, Dad! We're here!Copy !req
1404. Hi,
Dad.
Good, good!Copy !req
1405. There's a team!
There's a team!Copy !req
1406. You can't keep
the varsity down.Copy !req
1407. And I promise
never to go on a date
with you and Eliot again.Copy !req
1408. Hey, Murtaugh!Copy !req
1409. This is our year!Copy !req
1410. Huddle up! Huddle up! Come on.Copy !req
1411. Let's see what you got, Tom.Copy !req
1412. Okay, Murtaughs.Copy !req
1413. Huddling. Okay, now. Okay...Copy !req
1414. I know
I've been a jerk all week,
but that's old news.Copy !req
1415. Okay, now look.
You gotta get loose.
Don't let them intimidate you.Copy !req
1416. You each
have a special talent.
I want you to use it.Copy !req
1417. I don't care
if we win or lose...Copy !req
1418. I just want you
to do your best.Copy !req
1419. Hey! Hey! Hey!
What are you doing?Copy !req
1420. Stop with the nicey-nice.Copy !req
1421. Here's the game plan.
We're gonna
step on their throatsCopy !req
1422. and press down
until they stop breathing.Copy !req
1423. Finally, get focused
and stay with the game plan!Copy !req
1424. And what
would that be?Copy !req
1425. Okay, well,
we don't have
a game plan.Copy !req
1426. But you'll just...Copy !req
1427. Chin up!
Charge the mountain!Copy !req
1428. Exactly!
That's the game plan!
Okay, break on three!Copy !req
1429. One, two, three!Copy !req
1430. BLOWING WHISTLECopy !req
1431. Come on, come on,
come on, come on!Copy !req
1432. Come on, go! Come on, go!
Come on, go! Go! Go! Yes! Yes!Copy !req
1433. Go! Go! Go!Copy !req
1434. Charge it!
Charge it!
Charge it!Copy !req
1435. Good job!Copy !req
1436. Okay. That's okay.Copy !req
1437. HOLIDAY PLAYINGCopy !req
1438. HolidayCopy !req
1439. Bull's-eye!Copy !req
1440. Yeah! One for the Bakers!Copy !req
1441. HolidayCopy !req
1442. CelebrateCopy !req
1443. If we took a holidayCopy !req
1444. Come on, Charlie!Copy !req
1445. That's it. That's it.Copy !req
1446. Go! Go!Copy !req
1447. Just one day out of lifeCopy !req
1448. It would beCopy !req
1449. Yeah!Copy !req
1450. It would be so niceCopy !req
1451. Gotta be tough, Baker!
Gotta be tough, huh?Copy !req
1452. What is this?Copy !req
1453. We're gonna have
a celebrationCopy !req
1454. All across the worldCopy !req
1455. Out!Copy !req
1456. In every nationCopy !req
1457. What was that?Copy !req
1458. It's time for the good timesCopy !req
1459. Forget about the bad times
Oh yeahCopy !req
1460. One day to come togetherCopy !req
1461. To release the pressureCopy !req
1462. Here we go, Tom.Copy !req
1463. Okay, Murtaugh.Copy !req
1464. Look out. Now. Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
1465. Not your sport?Copy !req
1466. Let's go for a jog.Copy !req
1467. Reverse!Copy !req
1468. Couldn't have asked
for a better day, huh?Copy !req
1469. Look out!Copy !req
1470. EXCLAIMSCopy !req
1471. Well, folks,
for the first time
since 1961,Copy !req
1472. our Labor Day Cup
has ended in a tie.Copy !req
1473. Okay! Okay! We did good.Copy !req
1474. The Miller family
is gonna be
taking third place.Copy !req
1475. And to determine second place
and our champion,Copy !req
1476. the Bakers and the Murtaughs
are gonna have a canoe raceCopy !req
1477. from here to the state forest
end of the park and back.Copy !req
1478. All right?
And all family members
must participate.Copy !req
1479. Mike. Mike, I got a daughter
who's due in a week.
She can't do that.Copy !req
1480. Gee, Tom, maybe you
can work something out
with Jimmy here, I guess.Copy !req
1481. Looks like you're gonna
have to forfeit, Tom.Copy !req
1482. Well...Copy !req
1483. Look, she can't do it,
so we're done.Copy !req
1484. And congratulations.Copy !req
1485. Okay.Copy !req
1486. I'm going, Dad.Copy !req
1487. You just pissed off
a severely hormonal
pregnant woman.Copy !req
1488. Let's do this!Copy !req
1489. You sure?
Yes.Copy !req
1490. You sure?Copy !req
1491. Okay, I need a life jacket,
a big one.Copy !req
1492. Let's go, Bakers!
Come on, Bakers!Copy !req
1493. Bakers!Copy !req
1494. Lorraine, lose those shoes.
They're fancy and brand-new.Copy !req
1495. What? Yours are the same.Copy !req
1496. No. I'm a mom.
I need the height.Copy !req
1497. Look at Jimmy's wife.
Take those off.Copy !req
1498. Mom, mine tie
my whole outfit
in together.Copy !req
1499. Stay on the north
side of the lake.
There's less wind there.Copy !req
1500. Thanks, Murtaugh.Copy !req
1501. You're welcome, Baker.Copy !req
1502. Let's go, Superstar.Copy !req
1503. It's supposed to be fun.Copy !req
1504. You ready?
Ready.Copy !req
1505. Come on.Copy !req
1506. On your marks!
Murtaugh!Copy !req
1507. Get set!
Murtaugh!Copy !req
1508. Go, Bakers! Go, Bakers!Copy !req
1509. Stroke! Stroke!Copy !req
1510. Stroke! Stroke!Copy !req
1511. Stroke! Stroke!Copy !req
1512. Come on, everyone!
Let's go!Copy !req
1513. We're gonna
win this, Murtaughs!Copy !req
1514. Come on!
Put some muscle in it,
Bakers!Copy !req
1515. Stroke!Copy !req
1516. Stroke!Copy !req
1517. Stroke!Copy !req
1518. Come on, Superstar!
Come on, Kenneth!Copy !req
1519. Not this time, Murtaugh.Copy !req
1520. That's what you think.Copy !req
1521. Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!Copy !req
1522. Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!Copy !req
1523. I think we're taking on water!Copy !req
1524. It's me.Copy !req
1525. Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Nora's water just broke!Copy !req
1526. Jimmy!Copy !req
1527. Stroke! Stroke!
Jimmy!Copy !req
1528. Something's wrong, Jimmy.Copy !req
1529. He's trying
to pull a fast one.
Now paddle.Copy !req
1530. I don't believe it.Copy !req
1531. What if somebody's hurt?Copy !req
1532. Honey, we have
a substantial lead.
It's a trick.Copy !req
1533. How can you be sure?Copy !req
1534. I don't want to lose, Annie.
Now, paddle! Stroke!Copy !req
1535. Okay. Everyone calm down.Copy !req
1536. If we cut
through the woods here,
the road's not that far.Copy !req
1537. Can you get us there?Copy !req
1538. Hello. Nature boy, remember?Copy !req
1539. Let's go!Copy !req
1540. Row faster!Copy !req
1541. No, Bud, stay with Nora.Copy !req
1542. Stroke!Copy !req
1543. Annie, what are you doing?
What are you doing,
Superstar? Paddle!Copy !req
1544. I'm not a superstar, Dad.Copy !req
1545. I'm just a person
who's trying to
have her own life.Copy !req
1546. And this is not
my idea of living.
It's yours.Copy !req
1547. Like my tattoo?Copy !req
1548. Annie, get back
in this boat.Copy !req
1549. You're gonna have to win it
without me too, Dad.Copy !req
1550. Eliot, don't you dare.
Don't you... Don't you...Copy !req
1551. I'm out of here.Copy !req
1552. Kenneth!Copy !req
1553. Not cool, Dad.Copy !req
1554. Becky! Don't you...Copy !req
1555. You gotta lighten up.Copy !req
1556. Daniel.Copy !req
1557. We like the Bakers.Copy !req
1558. Yeah, Dad.Copy !req
1559. Lisa? Robin?Copy !req
1560. Okay. Okay.
That's it.
You know what?Copy !req
1561. You kids are
gonna be cutoff!Copy !req
1562. If you don't, you know...
No more charge accounts!Copy !req
1563. Think about that!
What is wrong with you?Copy !req
1564. I want to win!
You don't get it, Sarina.
It's not me. It's him!Copy !req
1565. It's Tom!
He was always
the popular one.Copy !req
1566. He was the one
everybody liked!
Everybody!Copy !req
1567. All the girls liked him,
all the parents liked him.Copy !req
1568. My own father
even liked him better.Copy !req
1569. That was 18 years
before I was born!
Get over it!Copy !req
1570. Look, your kids are
trying to tell you
something.Copy !req
1571. And unless you want to start
looking for wife number four,
you better listen.Copy !req
1572. Now paddle!Copy !req
1573. Watch out!Copy !req
1574. Nora, you okay?Copy !req
1575. Fifty cents says it's a girl.Copy !req
1576. I'll take that bet.
I'm in.Copy !req
1577. Hold on! Mom, Mom, Mom!Copy !req
1578. I'm all right.
I'm all right.Copy !req
1579. Oh, Mom! Mom!
I got you. I got you.Copy !req
1580. That's okay.
I got my hips
to balance me.Copy !req
1581. All right, how are you
feeling, sweetie?
Cramping a little.Copy !req
1582. Okay. How often?
Just a couple of times so far.Copy !req
1583. All right. Okay.Copy !req
1584. BREATHING RAPIDLYCopy !req
1585. I think I'm gonna be sick.Copy !req
1586. Pay attention to her!Copy !req
1587. Is she okay?Copy !req
1588. Yeah. She's delivering
lakeside, but yeah.Copy !req
1589. Did you swim
all the way over here?Copy !req
1590. Hey, Baker
what's going on?Copy !req
1591. Nora's having
her baby. We got to
get her to the hospital.Copy !req
1592. What can I do to help?Copy !req
1593. Oh, honey,
you can help with Nora.Copy !req
1594. Mark's on point, right, Mark?Copy !req
1595. I know the area really well.Copy !req
1596. My dad forced me
to do topographical mapsCopy !req
1597. of this area
for no apparent reason.Copy !req
1598. Hey, that's my boy.
Lead the way,
Kenneth Murtaugh.Copy !req
1599. Well, it just so happens
that my dad has let meCopy !req
1600. have almost every animal
in the world,Copy !req
1601. which makes me an expert
at scouting scat trails.Copy !req
1602. That's my boy.
Point us in
the right direction,Copy !req
1603. and I'll find us
a scat trail to follow.Copy !req
1604. What's scat?Copy !req
1605. Animal poop.Copy !req
1606. Cool! We're following poop!Copy !req
1607. Okay, I'm a little
competitive.Copy !req
1608. I know.
Go! Go!Copy !req
1609. Come on, guys!
This way, guys!Copy !req
1610. Yeah. There's a road
up ahead.Copy !req
1611. Come on.
Okay. Okay.Copy !req
1612. You okay?Copy !req
1613. Yeah! We did it!Copy !req
1614. Come on, guys! Come on!Copy !req
1615. Let's go, guys!
This way! Come on!Copy !req
1616. Come on! Come on!Copy !req
1617. Come on! Hurry!
Come on! Hurry up!Copy !req
1618. Okay.Copy !req
1619. I'll take it from here.
I got it.Copy !req
1620. Move it! Move!Copy !req
1621. I've got a daughter
who's about to deliver
any second.Copy !req
1622. I need you to
get her in right now.
Okay.Copy !req
1623. I don't want her
to feel any pain,Copy !req
1624. and I want the baby
to be healthy.
You got it? Get it? Good.Copy !req
1625. All right. If I could
get you to fill out...
I don't think so.Copy !req
1626. I wouldn't mess with her
if I were you, okay?Copy !req
1627. Right.Copy !req
1628. Oh, wow! Shh.Copy !req
1629. She's having a baby!Copy !req
1630. Stay calm!
Could we get
the chair over here?Copy !req
1631. Get me in a wheelchair!Copy !req
1632. I need a wheelchair, stat!
Get the chair!Copy !req
1633. Oh, my God! Oh, my God!Copy !req
1634. Good luck!Copy !req
1635. It must be this way!Copy !req
1636. That way!
All right, family only
in the delivery room!Copy !req
1637. You're all family?Copy !req
1638. Yeah!
Help me out here.Copy !req
1639. I'm her mother, so...Copy !req
1640. Of course.Copy !req
1641. Let's go. Let's go, please.
Kate.Copy !req
1642. Do your thing.Copy !req
1643. Okay, come on. Let's go.Copy !req
1644. Tom, actually,
we'd like Lorraine
to come with us.Copy !req
1645. We want you to be
the godmother.Copy !req
1646. Really?Copy !req
1647. Yeah.Copy !req
1648. Bud, I'm having a baby here!
Wow!Copy !req
1649. We'll try to get you
a linebacker, Tom.Copy !req
1650. Come on, everybody. Come on.Copy !req
1651. Let's go. Let's go. Come on.Copy !req
1652. Now this is a hospital.
You guys have to be quiet.
Got it?Copy !req
1653. Tom?Copy !req
1654. You mind if we
wait with you?Copy !req
1655. That'd be great.Copy !req
1656. They're good kids,
Jimmy, all of them.Copy !req
1657. And you're saying
we have nothing
to do with it.Copy !req
1658. They're born hardwired.Copy !req
1659. Dad, look what we found.Copy !req
1660. Check it out.Copy !req
1661. Hey, hey. Just...
Just be sure
and disinfect them.Copy !req
1662. It's a bedpan, Kenny.
Take it off.Copy !req
1663. So your kid gets my kid
to wear a bedpan,
and you're sayingCopy !req
1664. we have no impact?
I didn't tell him to do it.Copy !req
1665. You look in the face
of a six-month-old
and that's the way they are.Copy !req
1666. That is the way that...Copy !req
1667. Hey.
Hey.Copy !req
1668. You look like
you have something
to say.Copy !req
1669. I'm done
with the city, Dad.Copy !req
1670. I'm gonna open up
my own garage, and I'm
moving up here this fall.Copy !req
1671. And I want to audit
art classes at Madison.Copy !req
1672. Pardon me?Copy !req
1673. Dad, I want to be an artist.Copy !req
1674. I don't think that's
gonna happen.Copy !req
1675. Dude, dude, dude.Copy !req
1676. Jimmy.Copy !req
1677. Although it does sound
pretty exciting.Copy !req
1678. Sweetheart, is this
what you really want?Copy !req
1679. I'm sure.Copy !req
1680. You know, Annie, I...
I was just trying
to be a good father.Copy !req
1681. I know.Copy !req
1682. So, Dad, what do you think?Copy !req
1683. Sounds like you got
your mind made up.Copy !req
1684. I do. Are you
okay with that?Copy !req
1685. Yeah. I think I am.Copy !req
1686. Excuse me. Tom?Copy !req
1687. You want to meet
your grandson?Copy !req
1688. Yeah.Copy !req
1689. You did a good job, honey.
A really good job.Copy !req
1690. That's a big boy.
Too bad he wasn't there
to help us win the cup.Copy !req
1691. He'll get a chance.
Mike Romanow gave me a deal.Copy !req
1692. Now we own the big
house at the lake.Copy !req
1693. It'll be nice having you
in the neighborhood, Bud.Copy !req
1694. You Murtaughs better start
cranking out grandkids
if you want to compete.Copy !req
1695. You guys.Copy !req
1696. My godchild's
trying to snooze.Copy !req
1697. So, any ideas on names?Copy !req
1698. I think we're gonna
go with Tom.Copy !req
1699. 'Cause you taught us
that there's no way
to be a perfect parent,Copy !req
1700. but a million ways
to be a really good one.Copy !req
1701. And you're about
as good as they get.Copy !req
1702. Say hi to Grandpa.Copy !req
1703. Go on. Okay.Copy !req
1704. You're so beautiful.Copy !req
1705. Okay.Copy !req
1706. Hey, Tom. Hey, Tom.Copy !req
1707. Welcome to family.Copy !req
1708. SUNDAY MORNING PLAYINGCopy !req
1709. Bye, Nora. See you.
Bye, Nora.Copy !req
1710. Bye, Bud. Bye, Nora.Copy !req
1711. Bye-bye.
Bye.Copy !req
1712. Letting go
is the hardest thing
you can do as a parent.Copy !req
1713. You have to settle
with the past,Copy !req
1714. engage in the present
and believe in the future.Copy !req
1715. That vacation at Lake Winnetka
reminded Tom and me thatCopy !req
1716. we're always
learning as parents,Copy !req
1717. and that the bond is forever.Copy !req
1718. Even as the kids grow up
and venture out on their own,Copy !req
1719. we'll always be with them,
and they'll always be with us.Copy !req
1720. 'Cause life is a voyage
that's homeward bound.Copy !req
1721. SINGING
That someday it would
lead me back to youCopy !req
1722. That someday it would
lead me back to youCopy !req
1723. That may be all I needCopy !req
1724. In darkness she is all I seeCopy !req
1725. Come and rest
Your bones with meCopy !req
1726. Driving slow
on Sunday morningCopy !req
1727. And I never want to leaveCopy !req
1728. My fingers
Trace your every outlineCopy !req
1729. EXPRESS YOURSELF PLAYINGCopy !req
1730. Express yourselfCopy !req
1731. Express yourselfCopy !req
1732. You don't ever need help
From nobody elseCopy !req
1733. 'Cause all you got to doCopy !req
1734. Is this my normal face?Copy !req
1735. Yeah!Copy !req
1736. Yeah!
Yeah!Copy !req
1737. Hi, boo-boo!
You want a treat?Copy !req
1738. YELLSCopy !req
1739. Can I redo that?Copy !req
1740. What are we going to do?Copy !req
1741. She'll never walk again.
I'll tell you that.Copy !req
1742. Hey, nowCopy !req
1743. Oh, yeahCopy !req
1744. Watch it, y'allCopy !req
1745. Some people have everything
and other people don'tCopy !req
1746. But everything don't
mean a thing if it ain't
the thing you wantCopy !req
1747. Express yourselfCopy !req
1748. Express yourselfCopy !req
1749. Do it, do it
Do it to it, yeahCopy !req
1750. Do, do, do
Do it nowCopy !req
1751. You can do itCopy !req
1752. Put your mind to it
Everybody wants to do it nowCopy !req
1753. Express yourselfCopy !req
1754. Express yourself
All rightCopy !req
1755. Do, do, do, do
You canCopy !req
1756. Express yourselfCopy !req
1757. Express yourselfCopy !req
1758. Don't settle for
nothing else, you'llCopy !req
1759. Express yourselfCopy !req
1760. Come on, yeahCopy !req
1761. Express yourselfCopy !req
1762. That's rightCopy !req
1763. Well, express yourselfCopy !req
1764. Express yourselfCopy !req
1765. Express yourselfCopy !req
1766. WHAT IF PLAYINGCopy !req
1767. Hey, its funny howCopy !req
1768. Everything is changing
Trying to figure it outCopy !req
1769. And so these past few daysCopy !req
1770. You and me together
Going separate waysCopy !req
1771. And everything I see is a blurCopy !req
1772. What if we could
stay like this?Copy !req
1773. The sun coming down
Everything is perfect, perfectCopy !req
1774. What if we had ever missedCopy !req
1775. Another day
that time forgetsCopy !req
1776. What if we?
What if we stayed like this?Copy !req
1777. What if we stayed like this?Copy !req
1778. I know as time passesCopy !req
1779. We get strongerCopy !req
1780. What if we could
stay like this?Copy !req
1781. Sun coming down
Everything's perfect, perfectCopy !req
1782. What if we ever missedCopy !req
1783. Another day
that time forgetsCopy !req
1784. What if we?
What if we stayed like this?Copy !req
1785. What if we stayed like this?Copy !req