1. One of the reasons
I love Brown Valley so muchCopy !req
2. is that when
you do business here,Copy !req
3. chances are good
you know the person
you're dealing with.Copy !req
4. They're a neighbor or a friend
or a friend of a friend.Copy !req
5. And you can trust them
because they're part
of a community.Copy !req
6. If there is a bad egg around,
people find out pretty fast.Copy !req
7. This is why
BrownStar Insurance
has prospered for 25 years.Copy !req
8. We always do right
by our customers.Copy !req
9. Kurt, Pam,Copy !req
10. this policy's gonna
save you $400 a year,Copy !req
11. and it covers
everything you need.Copy !req
12. Down the road,
you win the lottery,
come back on in here,Copy !req
13. and I'll sell you
the spendiest policy
we got.Copy !req
14. Seriously, guys,
I'm gonna
take care of you.Copy !req
15. Hello, Mrs. Vanderhei.Copy !req
16. It's Macy, Tim.Copy !req
17. I told you
to call me Macy.Copy !req
18. Sorry,
I keep forgetting.Copy !req
19. It's a hard habit
to break.Copy !req
20. Well, you better
get it right soon orCopy !req
21. I'm gonna have to
make you stay
after school.Copy !req
22. Bring it. Bring it.Copy !req
23. There you go.Copy !req
24. Do you realize
I used to just stare
and stare at youCopy !req
25. when you were teaching us
about the rainforests
or whatever?Copy !req
26. And I would think,Copy !req
27. "I wonder
what Mrs. V looks like
with her clothes off."Copy !req
28. And then, boom,
we run into each other
in line at True ValueCopy !req
29. and, boom,
here we are,
making love.Copy !req
30. Like, once a week.Copy !req
31. It's like it was fate
or something.Copy !req
32. Did you ever
used to look at me
and think dirty things?Copy !req
33. You were 12.Copy !req
34. Right.Copy !req
35. I got you something.Copy !req
36. It's a scarlet tanager.
Mmm.Copy !req
37. Like the birds you had
in your classroom.Copy !req
38. That's very sweet.
Thank you.Copy !req
39. Wait, wait.Copy !req
40. Look on his wing.Copy !req
41. Hmm.Copy !req
42. Isn't that pretty?
Is that a...Copy !req
43. It's a promise ring.Copy !req
44. Promising what?Copy !req
45. Well...Copy !req
46. We're just having
a good time here.Copy !req
47. No, we're not.
We're having
the best time.Copy !req
48. Hi, I'm Roger Lemke.Copy !req
49. At BrownStar Insurance,
we endeavor to give youCopy !req
50. the coverage you need
at the best prices around.Copy !req
51. It's the reason that
BrownStar Insurance
has been awardedCopy !req
52. the prestigious
Two Diamond AwardCopy !req
53. from the American Society
of Mutual InsurersCopy !req
54. for three years running.Copy !req
55. Because at
BrownStar Insurance,Copy !req
56. we insure your dreams.Copy !req
57. Holy Christmas!Copy !req
58. You knocked her
out of the park.Copy !req
59. You knocked it out
of the G-D park, buddy!Copy !req
60. I'm just a pretty face.
That copy was all you, Bill.Copy !req
61. Well, I...Copy !req
62. I do have one gripe
with you, boss.Copy !req
63. Mmm-hmm?
If you'd waited till
after Cedar Rapids,Copy !req
64. I could have won
the Two Diamonds for you
four years running.Copy !req
65. Four years!Copy !req
66. How do you it, Roger?Copy !req
67. So proud
of you, Roggie.
Mmm...Copy !req
68. Hey, Roger.Copy !req
69. Tim Lippe!
I didn't even
see you there.Copy !req
70. Oh, man.Copy !req
71. Did you see it?Copy !req
72. Yeah. You were
so awesome.Copy !req
73. Oh! Thanks, buddy.
Thank you.Copy !req
74. Super awesome. Just...Copy !req
75. Hey, Roger.Copy !req
76. Watch your back,
Brad Pitt.Copy !req
77. Thank you for
the kind words, buddy.Copy !req
78. Wow, cake.Copy !req
79. Awesome.Copy !req
80. Hello?Copy !req
81. Tim, it's Bill.Copy !req
82. Hey, Bill.Copy !req
83. He's gone!
Tim, he's gone.Copy !req
84. Oh, God,
I can't believe it.Copy !req
85. What?Copy !req
86. It's Roger.Copy !req
87. What are you...
What are you
talking about?Copy !req
88. Gwen found him
in the bathroom.Copy !req
89. He had a belt
tied around
his neck.Copy !req
90. Oh, my gosh.Copy !req
91. He was
half naked, Tim.Copy !req
92. Oh, jeez.Copy !req
93. All this time,
Roger was some kind
of twisted deviant.Copy !req
94. Bill,
the way Roger died
was an accident.Copy !req
95. Believe what you want,
but people are talking, Tim.Copy !req
96. Commitment to God
is a big part of
the Two Diamonds.Copy !req
97. Big part.Copy !req
98. Now, people are talking.Copy !req
99. Hey, come here,
come here.
Here you go.Copy !req
100. This was Roger's
Two Diamonds
presentation.Copy !req
101. Yeah,
and it's a guaranteed
Two Diamond winner.Copy !req
102. And believe me,
I'd go myself,Copy !req
103. but I'm locked in to
my daughter's wedding
over in GladstoneCopy !req
104. I got no flex.Copy !req
105. What are you
saying, Bill?Copy !req
106. I am saying,
you need to
go down thereCopy !req
107. and give this
presentation, Tim.Copy !req
108. I can't go
to Cedar Rapids.Copy !req
109. You can't...
You don't want to send me
to Cedar Rapids.Copy !req
110. All right, listen to me,
you were what, 16,Copy !req
111. when I gave you
that filing jobCopy !req
112. right after
your mom passed?Copy !req
113. You were living
on your own, pretty much.
All by yourself.Copy !req
114. And I'm thinking,
"Now, here's a kid
who's gonna go places."Copy !req
115. And then somehow,
you just didn't.Copy !req
116. I can't.
You're all I got, kid.Copy !req
117. I need you to go down there
and prove that BrownStar
is a good outfit,Copy !req
118. an upstanding goddamn
Christian outfit.Copy !req
119. Now, the only thing
you have to worry about
getting good withCopy !req
120. is Orin Helgesson.Copy !req
121. He's the president.Copy !req
122. He's the final decider
on the Two Diamonds.Copy !req
123. So, near the end
of the weekend,Copy !req
124. you're gonna sit down
one-on-one with him
in his suiteCopy !req
125. and deliver
that presentation.Copy !req
126. He needs to be convinced
that we're still worthy
of that award.Copy !req
127. If we don't fix this,
our clients
will leave us, Tim.Copy !req
128. And we'll all be out
in the street.Copy !req
129. Farmers are confronted
with an unpredictable
risk-filled...Copy !req
130. Unpredictable world
of risk-filled
uncertainty.Copy !req
131. Cedar Rapids.
Cedar Rapids.Copy !req
132. I can't believe
that I'm actually going.
But I gotta do it, right?Copy !req
133. I mean, it's not
just my job.Copy !req
134. Six other people's
entire livelihoods
depend on this.Copy !req
135. Plus Carol,
who does part-time
seasonal work, so...Copy !req
136. You'll be fine.Copy !req
137. Hey, Charlie.
Tim, what's up?Copy !req
138. I'm going down
to Cedar Rapids for
the big ASMI convention.Copy !req
139. Oh, good. Good.Copy !req
140. You can keep
that for now.Copy !req
141. So all liquids, gels,
aerosols must be
placed in a Ziploc,Copy !req
142. and then your computer,
we take out of the case
and run through the machine.Copy !req
143. It's just me.Copy !req
144. Yeah, we gotta do it
for everybody, so...Copy !req
145. Tim!Copy !req
146. Oh, praise Christ
you haven't left yet.Copy !req
147. Hey, Bill.Copy !req
148. Hey.Copy !req
149. I can't believe
I forgot to
give this to you.Copy !req
150. It's an ASMI bible.
All right?Copy !req
151. It'll tell you
who to talk to
and who to avoid,Copy !req
152. who best to
fellowship with,
network, you know.Copy !req
153. Dean Ziegler,
Stevens Point,
Wisconsin.Copy !req
154. Ziegler.Copy !req
155. You know that son of bitch
called one of Lemke's
biggest clients,Copy !req
156. Joyce Armbruster?Copy !req
157. Smeared Roger's name.
Freaking goddang poacher.Copy !req
158. Avoid Ziegler
like the plague,
please.Copy !req
159. Now, Ronald Wilkes,
the guy I got you
rooming with,Copy !req
160. that's who I want
you to stick by.
Okay.Copy !req
161. All right?
All right, then,
come here. Come on.Copy !req
162. Well, you lucky ducks
have obviously been
seated in an exit row.Copy !req
163. I just need to make sure
you're willing and able to
assist crew membersCopy !req
164. in the event of
an emergency evacuation.Copy !req
165. I've actually never been
on an airplane before.Copy !req
166. Well, you'll do awesome.Copy !req
167. Well, if you do
need help, I'm in.Copy !req
168. Thank you.Copy !req
169. Oh, sweet.Copy !req
170. Hey, man.
Can I bum a heater?Copy !req
171. What's that now?Copy !req
172. A cigarette?Copy !req
173. No, sorry,
I can't help
you there.Copy !req
174. Are you here for
the convention?
Yeah.Copy !req
175. Yeah. Tim Lippe,
BrownStar Insurance.Copy !req
176. Bree. I'm Bree.Copy !req
177. Nice to meet you, Bree.Copy !req
178. Old trade secret
for you.Copy !req
179. If you keep smoking,
your premiums are gonna
go through the roof.Copy !req
180. Thanks, Dr. Phil.Copy !req
181. Hey, instead of a heater,
how about butterscotch?Copy !req
182. Nice.Copy !req
183. Listen, Tim,
if you wanna party,
you let me know.Copy !req
184. I'm always around.Copy !req
185. You got it.
Party hardy.Copy !req
186. Nice chatting
with you, Bree.
See you.Copy !req
187. Wow!Copy !req
188. Checking in
with us, sir?Copy !req
189. Yeah, I am.
Pretty excited
about it, too.Copy !req
190. All right.
Can I get your name?Copy !req
191. Tim Lippe.Copy !req
192. And we just need
a credit card
for the incidentals.Copy !req
193. Well, Trent,
I was under
the impressionCopy !req
194. that you honored
traveler's checks.Copy !req
195. You bet.
We just need to make
an imprint of the card,Copy !req
196. just like I say,
for the incidentals.Copy !req
197. Credit card?Copy !req
198. All right.Copy !req
199. It's standard.Copy !req
200. Don't worry.
We are not
gonna charge it.Copy !req
201. No, see. Looks liked
you just charged it.Copy !req
202. Just an imprint.Copy !req
203. Okay.Copy !req
204. Hey, Tim.Copy !req
205. So I just did
the whole check-in rigmarole,
and I'm on my way to my room.Copy !req
206. Have you seen
the pool yet?Copy !req
207. Yeah.Copy !req
208. It's incredible.
I mean, there's like
palm trees and stuff.Copy !req
209. And the whole place
smells like chlorine.Copy !req
210. It's like I'm in Barbados
or somewhere.Copy !req
211. Oh, here we are.
Mi casa.Copy !req
212. Junior suite.
Hang on a second here.Copy !req
213. Figure out how
this deal works.Copy !req
214. The key is like
a stinking credit card.Copy !req
215. What is it? Tim?Copy !req
216. There's an
Afro-American man
standing in my room.Copy !req
217. What's he doing?Copy !req
218. He's smiling at me.Copy !req
219. Oh, no.
Run for your life.Copy !req
220. Are you Tim?
Tim Lippe?Copy !req
221. I'm Ronald Wilkes.Copy !req
222. Bill Krogstad said
we were gonna be roommates.Copy !req
223. Tim, are you okay?Copy !req
224. Does he speak
your language?
Yes.Copy !req
225. He actually seems
pretty friendlyCopy !req
226. so I'm gonna call
you back later, okay?Copy !req
227. You are Tim?Copy !req
228. Oh, yes,
of course I am.Copy !req
229. Just for a minute there,
I was like, "Whoa."Copy !req
230. Okay.Copy !req
231. You wanna come in
and take a look
at the room?Copy !req
232. Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
233. Check out these digs.Copy !req
234. Hey, look, Tim,
the reason we got
the junior suite upgradeCopy !req
235. is because
the hotel overbooked.Copy !req
236. The point being,
they were asking folks to
take on a third roommateCopy !req
237. to consolidate space.Copy !req
238. Now, to me,
the savings of
adding a third guyCopy !req
239. sounded like
a real positive.Copy !req
240. If you got any qualms,
I hear you.Copy !req
241. LNC. That's
"Loud and Clear."Copy !req
242. Who would share...
Who would share beds?Copy !req
243. That's a pull-out couch.Copy !req
244. This isn't
Woodstock, Tim.Copy !req
245. I'm sure whoever it is
will be a straight shooter.Copy !req
246. Janita, double stock
my mini bar, please.Copy !req
247. 1019, thank you.Copy !req
248. Taco Bill,
back in the saddle.Copy !req
249. Hey, Ned.
Get some honey
on your stinger?Copy !req
250. I love it.Copy !req
251. So far,
it's just the one billboard
north of St. Cloud.Copy !req
252. But at the
end of the day,
it's NTS.Copy !req
253. Not too shabby.Copy !req
254. NTS. That's hilarious.Copy !req
255. Ronald Wilkes,
I presume.
The Ronimal!Copy !req
256. Give me some love,
my soul brother!Copy !req
257. Turn down
the volume, Ziegler.
You just got here.Copy !req
258. What's the matter,
friend?Copy !req
259. You've never seen
a choco-vanilla
love sandwich before?Copy !req
260. Wait till we start
the butt fucking.
No.Copy !req
261. I'm just having fun.Copy !req
262. Dean Ziegler,
Stevens Point, Wisconsin.
Call me Deanzie.Copy !req
263. Tim Lippe,
from Brown Valley, Wisconsin.
BrownStar Insurance.Copy !req
264. Oh, sure, yeah.
Bill Krogstad's
joint right?Copy !req
265. The Kroger!Copy !req
266. That's what I call him.Copy !req
267. Oh, shit.Copy !req
268. I was so sorry
to hear about Lemke's
passing up there.Copy !req
269. That guy
was tits as a rep.Copy !req
270. Yeah. Well, Roger was
just a super great man.Copy !req
271. Amen on that. Yeah.Copy !req
272. Real tragedy.Copy !req
273. Well, I don't know
about you wing-nuts,Copy !req
274. but the Deanzie
could use a drinksy.Copy !req
275. What do you say we head
straight to Horizons
for happy hour?Copy !req
276. You get
two-for-one drinks,
ten-cent wings,Copy !req
277. all-you-care-to-eat
pussy buffet.Copy !req
278. That line was unappealing
last year, Dean.Copy !req
279. It remains so now.Copy !req
280. Ronimal!Copy !req
281. I'm gonna watch
President Helgesson's
opening remarks.Copy !req
282. Oh, God.
That smug fuck.Copy !req
283. Helgesson's trying
to turn ASMI into
a goddamn religionCopy !req
284. with all this God
and morality bullshit.Copy !req
285. All right,
you ladies stay here
and do your nails.Copy !req
286. But I'm going to Horizon's
where the action is,
all right?Copy !req
287. I'm Orin Helgesson,Copy !req
288. your ASMI
Midwest Region
Chapter President.Copy !req
289. If you haven't picked up
your welcome kits yet,
see Mike Pyle.Copy !req
290. Mike Pyle.Copy !req
291. He owns the sixth
largest Allstate agency
in the upper Midwest.Copy !req
292. The guy's a shark.Copy !req
293. I'm more worried
about this Ziegler guy.Copy !req
294. I was specifically warned
to stay away from him.Copy !req
295. Don't worry about him.
He's harmless.Copy !req
296. I'd like to talk
Two Diamonds
for a minute here.Copy !req
297. The Two Diamond
Certificate of ExcellenceCopy !req
298. is awarded every yearCopy !req
299. to the agency
that best exemplifies
the ASMI decreeCopy !req
300. "to provide high
quality insurance,Copy !req
301. "while maintaining
commitment to community,
country and God."Copy !req
302. We have a record
number of entries
this year.Copy !req
303. Over 50 agencies. So...Copy !req
304. Did he say
50 agencies?Copy !req
305. Yeah, it's gonna be
brutal this year.Copy !req
306. Hey, come on.
You're gonna
do fine. Relax.Copy !req
307. Thanks.Copy !req
308. Hey, baby girl.Copy !req
309. Hey, Tim.
How's it going?Copy !req
310. I'm in over my head.Copy !req
311. You'll do fine.
I'm putting you
on speaker, sweetie.Copy !req
312. I just really wish
you had come with me.Copy !req
313. Oh, no.
This is your thing.
You'll do a good job.Copy !req
314. Well, I gotta run
in a sec.Copy !req
315. I'm meeting some folks
for fish at the Eagles.Copy !req
316. I really miss you.Copy !req
317. You'll do fine.Copy !req
318. Thank you. I'll try.Copy !req
319. I really miss you.Copy !req
320. Okay, bye, honey.Copy !req
321. I'll dream of you
in my heart.Copy !req
322. You were
checking me out.Copy !req
323. What?Copy !req
324. I'm gonna have
to tell the hotelCopy !req
325. there's some pervo
in fitness centerCopy !req
326. hitting on
innocent women.Copy !req
327. What? Whoa! No.Copy !req
328. I wasn't doing that.Copy !req
329. I'm, like, pre-engaged
with somebody.Copy !req
330. Unbelievable.Copy !req
331. That poor woman
should know what
you're up to.Copy !req
332. I'm not up to anything.
I swear, I'm not...Copy !req
333. Oh, man.Copy !req
334. I'm totally
messing with you.Copy !req
335. I'm sorry.
Oh, my God,
I'm such a jerk.Copy !req
336. Okay, yeah.Copy !req
337. Well, that's different.Copy !req
338. I'm so sorry.
Joan Ostrowski-Fox.Copy !req
339. Hi.
Hi.Copy !req
340. Tim Lippe.
Hi, Mr. Lippe.Copy !req
341. I'm in town for
the ASMI convention.Copy !req
342. I'm here for ASMI, too.
I'm from "Oh, my God,"
Nebraska.Copy !req
343. Omaha.
Yeah.Copy !req
344. Well, I'm gross,
so I will bid you
a farewell, Mr. Lippe.Copy !req
345. Okay.
See you at
Horizon's tonight?Copy !req
346. Yeah, I don't...
Well, maybe.Copy !req
347. A girl can dream.Copy !req
348. How are you doing?
Good.Copy !req
349. Um...Copy !req
350. I really enjoyed your speech,
President Helgesson.Copy !req
351. Oh. You were in there.
Marvelous.Copy !req
352. I don't think we've met.Copy !req
353. Tim Lippe.Copy !req
354. Down from
Brown Valley, Wisconsin,
BrownStar Insurance.Copy !req
355. Oh, boy. Tim,Copy !req
356. I don't know
what to say.
I'm just...Copy !req
357. We're all feeling it.Copy !req
358. I'm so sorry
for the loss.Copy !req
359. Yeah, it's been
really hard.Copy !req
360. Come here, son.
Come here.Copy !req
361. Now, Tim,
let me give youCopy !req
362. a few extra
drink coupons
for Horizon's.Copy !req
363. You go down there
and fellowship and network
with your colleagues. Huh?Copy !req
364. Thank you,
President Helgesson.Copy !req
365. No, please. Orin.Copy !req
366. Hey, Bree isn't it?Copy !req
367. Yeah, the butterscotch
dude right?Copy !req
368. Yeah.Copy !req
369. That's me,
Captain Butterscotch.
You guys want some?Copy !req
370. Yeah.Copy !req
371. Tim Lippe,
BrownStar Insurance.Copy !req
372. Glen Lindstrom. Lindy.Copy !req
373. Lindy Lindstrom.
Excellent to meet you.Copy !req
374. What are you
guys up to?Copy !req
375. Timbo!Copy !req
376. Right here, roomie.Copy !req
377. Party headquarters,
right here.Copy !req
378. How's it going, Tim?Copy !req
379. Hi, Ronald.Copy !req
380. Dean?Copy !req
381. Come on.
Call me Deanzie.Copy !req
382. What can I get you?Copy !req
383. Do you have root beer?Copy !req
384. You want a nipple
on that?Copy !req
385. Ha-ha. No.Copy !req
386. The sooner you learn to
ignore this degenerate, Tim,
the better off you'll be.Copy !req
387. Degenerate!
I love it! That's me!Copy !req
388. Okay, Big Time Tim,Copy !req
389. what exactly are
you looking for, pussy-wise,
in Cedar Crapids?Copy !req
390. Nothing, actually.Copy !req
391. What?
Why are you showing me
a picture of your mom?Copy !req
392. She's hot.
No offense.Copy !req
393. She's not my mom. Okay?Copy !req
394. She's my girlfriend,
and we're basically
pre-engaged.Copy !req
395. Whoa, whoa. My bad.
Beautiful woman,
in any case.Copy !req
396. Wait a minute,
what's "pre-engaged"?Copy !req
397. 'Cause if I was
"pre-engaged,"Copy !req
398. I will be pre-porking
anything with a pulse.Copy !req
399. Where's your
moral compass, Ziegler?
You're married yourself.Copy !req
400. Was married,
Ronald. Was.Copy !req
401. Oh, jeez,
you and Patti
split up?Copy !req
402. Oh, I'm sorry.Copy !req
403. She's an asshole.
Ass-fucking-hole.Copy !req
404. Seventeen years of marriage,
straight down the shitter.Copy !req
405. Lucky if one of
them was decent.Copy !req
406. What was I talking about?
Who wants to get wasted!Copy !req
407. Choo-choo!Copy !req
408. Hubba-hubba,
check out those studs!Copy !req
409. Whoo!
Joan Ostrowski-Fox.Copy !req
410. Oh, Ron Ronald,
you look Rontastic.Copy !req
411. This one.
Oh, I could justCopy !req
412. squeeze you to death,
you little firecracker!Copy !req
413. How are you
sweetheart?Copy !req
414. Oh, so good.Copy !req
415. Oh, Lippe.
My lippies are sealed.Copy !req
416. You know this guy?Copy !req
417. Oh, that's right.
From the fitness center.Copy !req
418. Yeah. I was really
naughty with you
down there.Copy !req
419. I'm really sorry, Tim.Copy !req
420. Oh, no. She's not.
Oh, no. I'm not.Copy !req
421. Shots. Let's do it.
What do you want guys?Copy !req
422. Jäger time.
Jäger for me.Copy !req
423. Twist my arm. Drambuie.Copy !req
424. Lippe?
I'm a non-drinker.Copy !req
425. Oh, that's a bummer.Copy !req
426. Timbo,
you gotta strap on
a set of gords.Copy !req
427. Yeah.
All right?Copy !req
428. Come on,
one won't kill you.Copy !req
429. Jeez, okay.Copy !req
430. If you guys are
gonna beat me up...Copy !req
431. Cream sherry.Copy !req
432. Cream sherry?
You're insane.Copy !req
433. That's the craziest thing
I've ever heard.Copy !req
434. This one's weird.Copy !req
435. Ready? Here we go.Copy !req
436. In your hole!Copy !req
437. You be careful
not to get too loaded
there, Lippe.Copy !req
438. I might have to take
advantage of you.Copy !req
439. Hey. Excuse me.Copy !req
440. Come on,
I'm just razzing.Copy !req
441. Cut it out!Copy !req
442. You know what?
It's been a long day.Copy !req
443. Oh, come on,
Timbo. Relax.Copy !req
444. Come on,
I didn't mean
anything by it.Copy !req
445. Good night.Copy !req
446. You can squeeze
my ass, Joan.Copy !req
447. Ouch!Copy !req
448. The government
currently subsidizesCopy !req
449. $935 million worth of
insurance policies...Copy !req
450. I'm in here!
I'm in here...Copy !req
451. I know, I know.
This needs
to be private.Copy !req
452. Listen...Copy !req
453. Whoa!Copy !req
454. Something really didn't
agree with you, huh?Copy !req
455. Yeah, I had...
I think it was
tainted yogurt.Copy !req
456. Listen, meet me
in the stair...Copy !req
457. Meet me in the stairwell
in five minutes. All right?Copy !req
458. Pinch it off,
it's important.Copy !req
459. Jesus Christ.Copy !req
460. Psst!Copy !req
461. Timbo.Copy !req
462. We gotta talk.Copy !req
463. What? What is going on?Copy !req
464. After you left,
I found out
some serious shit.Copy !req
465. There is a petition
going aroundCopy !req
466. trying to take away
your company's
Two Diamond Awards.Copy !req
467. What?Copy !req
468. They're saying
Lemke's sexual peccadilloes
were not godly,Copy !req
469. quote unquote.Copy !req
470. Somebody
passed it to me,
and I'm like,Copy !req
471. "Look,
Lemke might have been
a class-A deviant,Copy !req
472. "but what the fuck
does that have to do
with selling insurance?"Copy !req
473. Pardon my French, Dean,
but you are completely
full of bullroar.Copy !req
474. My boss, Bill Krogstad,
told me that you
called Joyce ArmbrusterCopy !req
475. and smeared
Roger's name.Copy !req
476. No, no.Copy !req
477. Whoa, whoa, whoa, Timbo.
That old whore called me.Copy !req
478. She's going on about
how Lemke's a pervertCopy !req
479. and she wanted
to take her
business elsewhere.Copy !req
480. So I says,
"All right, I'll crunch
some numbers for you."Copy !req
481. Well, she calls me back
later that same dayCopy !req
482. saying how she got
Krogstad to
lower her premiums,Copy !req
483. which is exactly
what the greasy twat
wanted in the first place.Copy !req
484. So, you didn't call her?Copy !req
485. Tim.Copy !req
486. Look, I might be
a lot of things,Copy !req
487. but a poacher
ain't one of them.Copy !req
488. And I'm proud of that.Copy !req
489. You saw this petition?Copy !req
490. Yeah, I saw it.
I didn't sign it.Copy !req
491. I said,
"You guys are pussies."Copy !req
492. This is terrible.Copy !req
493. 'Cause the way
that Roger died
was an accident.Copy !req
494. Look, Lemke
could have diedCopy !req
495. cornholing
a crippled kid
for all I care.Copy !req
496. Not really, of course.Copy !req
497. My sister's got one.
Down's.Copy !req
498. Sad.Copy !req
499. Point being,
selling insurance
is a business.Copy !req
500. It's not a goddamn
Boy Scout troop.Copy !req
501. So there's
the scuttlebutt.Copy !req
502. Deal with it
the way you want.Copy !req
503. And we thank you, Lord.Copy !req
504. We are grateful
for the bounty you provide us
this breakfast time.Copy !req
505. I am so hung over
right now.Copy !req
506. The variety
and the volume...Copy !req
507. Big time beer shits
this morning.Copy !req
508. Lord Jesus,
our truth. Amen.Copy !req
509. Amen. Say that again.Copy !req
510. I thought Pyle
did a nice job,
Ziegler.Copy !req
511. What's wrong
with you, Timbo?Copy !req
512. You're like
a gloomy Gus
this morning.Copy !req
513. Come on,
leave him alone.Copy !req
514. If it's my ex-wife,
I'm not here.Copy !req
515. I'm pretty sure
it's not your ex-wife.Copy !req
516. It's my boss.
I have to take this.Copy !req
517. Tell The Kroger
I said, "Hey."Copy !req
518. Hello.
Tim.Copy !req
519. I got a call from
Orin Helgesson.Copy !req
520. He tells me
he's worried about you.Copy !req
521. Tells me
you're palling around
with Dean Ziegler.Copy !req
522. Laughing at his jokes,
buying him drinks.Copy !req
523. No, Bill. That's...Copy !req
524. What's the one thing?Copy !req
525. I said, "Steer clear
of Dean Ziegler."Copy !req
526. Bill,
that Dean Ziegler...Copy !req
527. No, it is
Orin's sworn enemy.Copy !req
528. He told me that
there is a petition
going aroundCopy !req
529. to take away our
Two Diamond Awards.Copy !req
530. What? All right,
who the Christ
signed that, huh?Copy !req
531. Who the Christ
signed that?
God damn it.Copy !req
532. God damn it.
God damn it!Copy !req
533. Bill, I'll handle it.
You can count on me.Copy !req
534. You just worry about
your goddamn presentation
tomorrow, Tim,Copy !req
535. and stop
fucking around!Copy !req
536. I'll handle it.Copy !req
537. You take care
of it, Lippe.Copy !req
538. I swear,
I only smoke
in Cedar Rapids.Copy !req
539. Jeez, what's wrong?Copy !req
540. I don't know,
like, everything.Copy !req
541. So how did you
get involved in the
insurance game, Lippe?Copy !req
542. Oh, God.
"Insurance game."Copy !req
543. Look here, see,
how did you get involved
in the insurance game?Copy !req
544. You're freaky.Copy !req
545. Thank you.Copy !req
546. It's kind of
a weird story,
actually.Copy !req
547. I lost my dad
in a sawmill accident
when I was six years old.Copy !req
548. Oh, my God.
Yeah.Copy !req
549. But the insurance agent
fought like a tiger
with the sawmillCopy !req
550. to make sure my mom and I
were taken care of,
and we were.Copy !req
551. And I remember thinking,
when I was kid,Copy !req
552. I was just like,
"This guy is a hero."Copy !req
553. I gotta say,
I think insurance agents
get a bum rap.Copy !req
554. You know?Copy !req
555. Like this river,
the Cedar River, flooded
a couple of years ago.Copy !req
556. A whole city.
I know. I remember.Copy !req
557. It was
a massive disaster.Copy !req
558. Massive disaster,
billions of dollars
in damage,Copy !req
559. and who do you think
was in the trenchesCopy !req
560. trying to get
people's lives
back in order?Copy !req
561. It was insurance agents.Copy !req
562. Not all of them,
but a lot of them
worked really hardCopy !req
563. to get people's lives
back on track.Copy !req
564. Do you realize
you just made it sound cool
to be an insurance salesman?Copy !req
565. You are a hero, Lippe.Copy !req
566. Shut up.Copy !req
567. Come on,
we should get back.Copy !req
568. No, I can tell.Copy !req
569. You're the Superman type.Copy !req
570. Kind of dweeby
on the outsideCopy !req
571. but a real frigging
stud underneath.Copy !req
572. Yeah, dweeby, okay.Copy !req
573. They call you
Insurance ManCopy !req
574. and put a big red "I"
on your chest.Copy !req
575. Cool.Copy !req
576. Well, even if
you are totally full of it,
which you clearly are,Copy !req
577. it's still
a nice thing to say,
and I appreciate it.Copy !req
578. You're welcome.Copy !req
579. For crying out loud, Dean,
you say the same thing
every year!Copy !req
580. Because you think
you're the Pope, Orin.Copy !req
581. And you're not
the fucking Pope.Copy !req
582. And ASMI
is not a church.Copy !req
583. There is a separation
between religion
and insurance.Copy !req
584. It's in
the constitution.Copy !req
585. Oh, good grief.Copy !req
586. You gotta admire
Ziegler's style
of debate.Copy !req
587. Volume, proximity
and repetition.
Yeah.Copy !req
588. I'm doing
something right.
Timbo!Copy !req
589. And O-Fox.
Where have
you two been?Copy !req
590. What is that?
You got a pube on
your cheek, Timbo.Copy !req
591. Oh, Jesus, Ziegler.
Uncool.Copy !req
592. Eating the canned tuna
from the bottom shelf.Copy !req
593. I love it!Copy !req
594. Guys, I gotta boogie.Copy !req
595. I'll see you later
at the scavenger hunt.Copy !req
596. Bye-bye.
Aye aye,
your holiness.Copy !req
597. Borin' Orin.
Just joshing.Copy !req
598. Not.Copy !req
599. No, I'm really
joshing. Not!Copy !req
600. Oh, got him twice.Copy !req
601. What's the scavenger hunt?
Oh!Copy !req
602. You are about
to find out,Copy !req
603. 'cause I just signed up
you and O-Fox
on the same team.Copy !req
604. Oh, yeah? Right on!Copy !req
605. I shouldn't.Copy !req
606. Tim, I promise
I won't molest you.Copy !req
607. Yet.Copy !req
608. No, I'm kidding,
I'm kidding.
Come on, it'll be fun.Copy !req
609. Everyone's doing it.Copy !req
610. Okay, folks,
the ASMI-Azing RaceCopy !req
611. is just like
The Amazing Race
on TV...Copy !req
612. No, it's not.Copy !req
613. except that instead
of $1 million,Copy !req
614. the winning team getsCopy !req
615. a $45 gift card
to the Kiku
Japanese restaurantCopy !req
616. in the Westdale Mall.Copy !req
617. So, look for
your first clueCopy !req
618. under the sea.Copy !req
619. And by that I mean
in the pool area.Copy !req
620. Don't get in the way.Copy !req
621. No brakes!Copy !req
622. No brakes.
Coming through.Copy !req
623. Bricks?
What the hell is this?Copy !req
624. It's a word scramble,
you dumb fucks.Copy !req
625. Raff... raff. Riff...Copy !req
626. Moff.
Two letters.Copy !req
627. Two more letters.
Mo... Moffarts.Copy !req
628. I know what it is.
Fun Farm!Copy !req
629. Yeah, be cool.
Be cool.Copy !req
630. Golly, I really
need to pee.Copy !req
631. I told you to go
before we started,
you idiot.Copy !req
632. Sorry.Copy !req
633. Queef.Copy !req
634. No Q.
No Q, son of a bitch.Copy !req
635. Hey, Bree.
We're in first place!Copy !req
636. Good luck,
butterscotch.Copy !req
637. Okay,
you're gonna make
a right on Wilson.Copy !req
638. No, that doesn't
make any sense.Copy !req
639. You're gonna...
What?Copy !req
640. I'm gonna make
a left on Wilson.
Oops!Copy !req
641. North is north.
South is south.
It's not complicated.Copy !req
642. Never Eat
Shredded Wheat.Copy !req
643. Just remembered.Copy !req
644. I never heard
that one before.Copy !req
645. Yeah, which is ironic
because Shredded Wheat
is delicious.Copy !req
646. Where are they?Copy !req
647. All right, Perry.
Eyes on me.Copy !req
648. What are you doing here?
You want me to throw you in?Copy !req
649. Balls deep, man. Go!
Yeah! Go!Copy !req
650. All right.
What do I got to do?Copy !req
651. You have to
find a red ball
for your next clue.Copy !req
652. I'll give you 40 bucks
for the clue straight out.Copy !req
653. Ziegler! Now! Go!
All right, let's do it!Copy !req
654. Look out, Timbo,
I'm going balls deep.Copy !req
655. I got it!Copy !req
656. Yes!Copy !req
657. Fill this thing.
I'm gonna win.Copy !req
658. Fill it. Fill it.
Fill it. Come on.Copy !req
659. Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat!
Go! Go!
Eat the next one.Copy !req
660. Oh, my God.
I'm gonna puke.Copy !req
661. No, you're doing great,Copy !req
662. and, by the way,
you look really good
with a wiener in your mouth.Copy !req
663. Did you just make
a dick joke?Copy !req
664. No. Maybe.Copy !req
665. I love it!Copy !req
666. Okay, just go!
Go! Go! Go!Copy !req
667. Look at him.
He's like a little
spider monkey.Copy !req
668. Ha-ha!
Leaving them
in the dust.Copy !req
669. You're almost there, bud.Copy !req
670. Reach it!
Timbo.Copy !req
671. You got
a death wish pal?Copy !req
672. 'Cause you're about
roughly 20 feet off
the ground right now.Copy !req
673. Take a look.Copy !req
674. Uh-oh. Tim?Copy !req
675. Oh, God.
Tim, are you okay?Copy !req
676. Give me a second.Copy !req
677. What do you...
Tim, come on down.
We got you, buddy!Copy !req
678. I'm gonna be fine!Copy !req
679. I think
we better get him.Copy !req
680. Oh, my God.
Oh, yeah.Copy !req
681. Why did you do it
if you're gonna
freak out?Copy !req
682. Tim, I got you,
trust me.Copy !req
683. Just give me
your hand, bro,
lean back.Copy !req
684. I don't trust people
with pony tails.Copy !req
685. Come on, man,
give me your hand.
Let's do this.Copy !req
686. I'm not extreme
like you.Copy !req
687. Oh, Tim. Tim!Copy !req
688. Oh, my God.
Calm down.Copy !req
689. Hold on.
Hold on to this.
I got you, buddy.Copy !req
690. Guys, just lower
him down. I got it.Copy !req
691. Come on down to me.
Come on down.
I got you, pal.Copy !req
692. Relax. Relax.
Okay. Okay.Copy !req
693. We got you.
We got you.Copy !req
694. Come on, folks.
I just saved a life here.Copy !req
695. Just saved a life here.Copy !req
696. So since no one
could complete
the final task,Copy !req
697. and since Tim
was higher
than anyone elseCopy !req
698. when all this
brouhaha occurred,Copy !req
699. we're going to
award the gift card
to Tim and Joan.Copy !req
700. We won!Copy !req
701. Nice. I love it.
I love it.Copy !req
702. We won
We won the scavenger huntCopy !req
703. We won
We wonCopy !req
704. Mmm.Copy !req
705. We won today.Copy !req
706. Well,
congratulations.
Thank you.Copy !req
707. And I found you
a cream sherry.Copy !req
708. To dorks.Copy !req
709. Okay. Cheers.
Cheers.Copy !req
710. It's a compliment.Copy !req
711. Mmm.Copy !req
712. Oh, smooth.Copy !req
713. Tim Lippe,
I am trying to
figure you out.Copy !req
714. Oh, boy.Copy !req
715. I mean, hopes,
dreams, aspirations.Copy !req
716. What do you got?
Um...Copy !req
717. What I really
would love someday,Copy !req
718. is to put
a little greenhouse
in my backyard.Copy !req
719. Okay, dream
the impossible dream.Copy !req
720. Actually,
it's far more reasonable
than you think.Copy !req
721. Oh, please.Copy !req
722. I checked some
out at Fleet Farm.
Enough.Copy !req
723. They're portable.
Stop it.Copy !req
724. And they won't
break the bank.Copy !req
725. Wow, I'm talking, like,
fantasy land. Okay?Copy !req
726. Like, what does
Tim Lippe really want?Copy !req
727. Come on!
Okay, a family.Copy !req
728. Oh!Copy !req
729. You know,
I wanna be a dad.Copy !req
730. So, kids, I guess,
is what I really want.Copy !req
731. You want mine?Copy !req
732. Um... Well...Copy !req
733. Not like, you know...Copy !req
734. What?Copy !req
735. I have kids.
You have kids?Copy !req
736. Yeah, two.Copy !req
737. Tyler is 10.
Ashley will be
eight next month.Copy !req
738. My little squirrels.Copy !req
739. Oh, they are so cool.Copy !req
740. Aw, thanks.Copy !req
741. And, that's...Copy !req
742. My hubby, Rich Fox.
Richie.Copy !req
743. We met when we were
Rotary Exchange students
in high school.Copy !req
744. Lived for a semester
in Norway.Copy !req
745. You've been to Norway?
Mmm-hmm. Yeah.Copy !req
746. Then we got married
when we were
sophomores in college,Copy !req
747. and then kids and...Copy !req
748. Wow.Copy !req
749. If I had to do it
all again, I don't know
what I'd choose,Copy !req
750. but I don't have
that option.Copy !req
751. So this is
my fantasy land, Tim.Copy !req
752. You know,
Cedar Rapids,
ASMI. This.Copy !req
753. Sometimes a gal just needs
a little vacationCopy !req
754. from who she really is,
you know
what I'm saying, Lippe?Copy !req
755. Yee-hah!Copy !req
756. This is pathetic.Copy !req
757. Hey, Mike!
I'm bored of the dance.Copy !req
758. You love me, Deanzie.Copy !req
759. There you two are.Copy !req
760. Check out Lloyd.
He's going mental
on the place.Copy !req
761. Oh, and you missed Mike Pyle
doing his Riverdance,
hillbilly bullshit again.Copy !req
762. Drinks on me.Copy !req
763. I like that.Copy !req
764. Timbo, have you
tagged that yet?Copy !req
765. 'Cause she's
gotta be as moist
as a damp sponge.Copy !req
766. Ew, uh...Copy !req
767. No, she has a husband.Copy !req
768. What is wrong
with you, Ziegler?
Shit.Copy !req
769. What isn't wrong with me?
I talk too much.
I drink too much.Copy !req
770. I weigh too much.
I piss people off.Copy !req
771. What's your
situation, Ronald?
Are you married or...Copy !req
772. Negative.Copy !req
773. I'm pretty well married
to Ronald Wilkes Insurance.Copy !req
774. Course I have
my guilty pleasures,
like antiquing.Copy !req
775. I'm active in
community theater.Copy !req
776. And I have to admit,
I'm a big enthusiastCopy !req
777. of the HBO program
The Wire.Copy !req
778. But I haven't had
a proper vacation
in nine years.Copy !req
779. Yeah, you know,
I never take
my vacation, either.Copy !req
780. You know what
you guys should do,
is take a vacation together.Copy !req
781. We can go on
one of them gay cruises
with Rosie O'Donnell.Copy !req
782. You know
what you are,
Ziegler?Copy !req
783. You're what I call
a real Richard.Copy !req
784. Mr. Richard Head.Copy !req
785. I don't get it.Copy !req
786. Dick Head, I get it.Copy !req
787. You're a total Richard.Copy !req
788. It took me a second.Copy !req
789. All right, gents.
Kamikazes.Copy !req
790. One, two, three.Copy !req
791. Down your hole!Copy !req
792. Okay,
time for ASMI's
next great talent.Copy !req
793. Tim Lip is going to
sing a number for us.Copy !req
794. Is there a Tim Lip?Copy !req
795. Did she just
say my name?Copy !req
796. Oh, I'm sorry.Copy !req
797. She signed you up.Copy !req
798. Tim Lip?Copy !req
799. You can't do that.Copy !req
800. Ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
801. I don't know
if you know
Tim Lippe here,Copy !req
802. it's "Lippe,"
by the way,Copy !req
803. he's down here,
it's his first ASMI,Copy !req
804. he's up for
a Two Diamond Award.Copy !req
805. Let's give him
a little support. Huh?Copy !req
806. Tim Lippe!Copy !req
807. Tim! Tim! Tim!Copy !req
808. Go be my hero.Copy !req
809. Tim! Tim! Tim!Copy !req
810. Get up there!
Get up there!Copy !req
811. Okay, I'm gonna
sing a song that I did
at our last Christmas party.Copy !req
812. Hope you enjoy.Copy !req
813. Oh, holy nightCopy !req
814. Costly premiums
have them piningCopy !req
815. Term life robs them
Of all they are worthCopy !req
816. But there is hopeCopy !req
817. Policy holders
now have choicesCopy !req
818. Behold an agencyCopy !req
819. That won't leave you tornCopy !req
820. Home, autoCopy !req
821. Life insuranceCopy !req
822. BrownStarCopy !req
823. BrownStar InsuranceCopy !req
824. Of Brown Valley,
WisconsinCopy !req
825. We are divineCopy !req
826. That was awesome!Copy !req
827. Ladies and gentlemen,
Tim Lippe.Copy !req
828. Take that, Pyle!Copy !req
829. Yes! Finally.
Oh, God, no more shots.Copy !req
830. Let's go.
Yes, one more.Copy !req
831. No, I'm not
having another.Copy !req
832. Yes, I don't even
wanna hear it.Copy !req
833. One, two, three,
down your hole!Copy !req
834. One-on-ones with Orin
are tomorrow.Copy !req
835. I can't afford
to be off my game.
Neither can you, Tim.Copy !req
836. Ronimal!Copy !req
837. Sit down, Ronimal.Copy !req
838. You tied it in perfectly.
Auto, home, life, you got me!Copy !req
839. Yeah, that was great.Copy !req
840. Hold on, hold on.
I smell free booze.Copy !req
841. No, no.
Come on, come on.
Dean.Copy !req
842. Come on, come on.Copy !req
843. Oh, my God.Copy !req
844. Rug munchers.
I love it.Copy !req
845. No way.Copy !req
846. Gay marriage
is legal in Iowa.Copy !req
847. Come on, you guys.
This party sounds good.Copy !req
848. Wait. Let's go.Copy !req
849. You're crazy, Deanzie.Copy !req
850. I love it!Copy !req
851. Ronimal's on
the dance floor!Copy !req
852. The Robot Man! Yeah!Copy !req
853. Whatever floats
your boat, man.Copy !req
854. Take cover, Ronald!Copy !req
855. Come on, follow me,
I know where to go.Copy !req
856. We're storming
the gate.Copy !req
857. I told you it
closed an hour ago.Copy !req
858. No, it didn't.
'Cause I just
opened it up.Copy !req
859. Come on,
we're going swimming.Copy !req
860. I'm going to bed.Copy !req
861. We got
a big day tomorrow.Copy !req
862. Yeah, I'll be
right behind you.Copy !req
863. We're totally
going in the pool.Copy !req
864. We're totally going in!Copy !req
865. Come on.
This is gonna be
my seaman's helmet.Copy !req
866. Right here. Look!Copy !req
867. Look at this!
You guys.Copy !req
868. I'm Captain Nemo,
the muff diver.Copy !req
869. I'm going on a mission
for bearded clams.Copy !req
870. Idiot.Copy !req
871. What do you say?
Lippe take a dippy?Copy !req
872. Come on in!Copy !req
873. What?Copy !req
874. That's German for,
"I can't swim,"
and I really can't.Copy !req
875. Oh, well,
it's only 4 feet.Copy !req
876. Well, I didn't bring
a bathing suit, so...Copy !req
877. Oh, yeah?
Well, I didn't either.Copy !req
878. Timbo, it's business casual.
Get your ass in here.Copy !req
879. Come on, Tim.Copy !req
880. Mr. Lippe.Copy !req
881. Calling Mr. Lippe.Copy !req
882. Get in here.Copy !req
883. Oh, my gosh.
It's kind of chilly,
actually.Copy !req
884. Oh, my God.
It's nice.Copy !req
885. Dean, you look
like R2-D2.Copy !req
886. Crazy day, right?Copy !req
887. So...Copy !req
888. Oh, man.Copy !req
889. Your skin is so milky.Copy !req
890. It's like ice cream.Copy !req
891. I'm having
a perfect moment.Copy !req
892. What the heck
is going on here?Copy !req
893. Orin!
You ruin everything.Copy !req
894. Helgesson,
I got something
for you right here.Copy !req
895. Suck on it, baby.
Right there.
Full moon, Orin.Copy !req
896. You people are
such low-lifes.Copy !req
897. He happened to come
out right then, right?Copy !req
898. Yeah, you were watching
through the window,
you kinky bastard.Copy !req
899. Well, this is
a very nice "How do you do"
in the middle of the night.Copy !req
900. Go back to your room
and tie yourself up,
you kinky bastard.Copy !req
901. Will you just shut up?Copy !req
902. Whoo! I love it!Copy !req
903. Oh, my God.
Holy crap.Copy !req
904. Oh, my God.
We're so dead.Copy !req
905. I wanna make love!Copy !req
906. Where is everybody?Copy !req
907. Timbo? Ronald?
Oh, shit.Copy !req
908. Making love to you
was super,Copy !req
909. super awesome.Copy !req
910. Do you want
to cuddle?Copy !req
911. Cuddle?Copy !req
912. I love to cuddle.Copy !req
913. Okay.Copy !req
914. You're special, Joan.Copy !req
915. So special.Copy !req
916. Calm down, Tyler.Copy !req
917. You're not
gonna miss the game.
Just put your dad on, please.Copy !req
918. Hey, didn't you look
at the schedule
on the fridge?Copy !req
919. This is the last
regular season game.Copy !req
920. He actually has
a chance to play,
Richie, Christ.Copy !req
921. Okay. Okay,
I love you, too.Copy !req
922. Tell Tyler
to kick some butt
for me, okay? See you.Copy !req
923. Good morning.Copy !req
924. Sorry, crisis
on the home front.Copy !req
925. You already
told your husband?Copy !req
926. Yeah, right.Copy !req
927. We have to tell them.
No.Copy !req
928. Right? I mean...Copy !req
929. Tim, I told you,Copy !req
930. what I do here
in Cedar Rapids,
it stays here.Copy !req
931. No, I am not
a philanderer.Copy !req
932. I'm a philanderer.Copy !req
933. I'm a philanderer!Copy !req
934. I have to tell Macy.Copy !req
935. Tim, do not call Macy.Copy !req
936. I need...
I don't have
any clothes.Copy !req
937. Tim, calm down.Copy !req
938. I can't.
I can't live
like this.Copy !req
939. I'm not like you.Copy !req
940. Tim...Copy !req
941. I'm sorry.Copy !req
942. Don't...Copy !req
943. Hey, Tim.Copy !req
944. She's not that pretty
and she smokes.Copy !req
945. Tim?Copy !req
946. I made love to
a woman, Macy.Copy !req
947. Her name is Joan.
She's from Omaha, NebraskaCopy !req
948. and her mouth
tastes like cigarettes.Copy !req
949. You slept
with someone?Copy !req
950. It was a mistake.
You mean
everything to me.Copy !req
951. I can't believe you.Copy !req
952. You really slept
with someone?Copy !req
953. Will you marry me?Copy !req
954. What?Copy !req
955. Will you marry me,
please?Copy !req
956. Just don't leave.
I'll do anything.Copy !req
957. Tim, slow down.Copy !req
958. Please, let's get
married right away.
Whoa.Copy !req
959. Listen,
I've been trying
to tell you this,Copy !req
960. but you seem
to have a hard time
grasping it, okay?Copy !req
961. I was married
for half my life.Copy !req
962. I've been divorced
for all of six months.
I wanna enjoy my freedom.Copy !req
963. What?Copy !req
964. Like, is there
someone else?Copy !req
965. Well, I wouldn't
put it that way.Copy !req
966. I mean,
there's no one person
in particular, no.Copy !req
967. What do you mean,
"No one person"?
There's people?Copy !req
968. Like, plural, people?Copy !req
969. Not a lot,
I mean, just a few.Copy !req
970. I'm dying.Copy !req
971. Tim...
I'm dying.Copy !req
972. Pull yourself together.Copy !req
973. I can't...
I literally can't breathe.
I literally can't breathe.Copy !req
974. Tim...Copy !req
975. Tim...
I can't breathe.Copy !req
976. Timmy...Copy !req
977. Yeah, yes?Copy !req
978. You know that bird
you gave me?Copy !req
979. What kind of
bird was it?Copy !req
980. Scarlet tanager.Copy !req
981. And what kind of
sound did it make?Copy !req
982. Come on,
you remember.Copy !req
983. That's right.
Very good.Copy !req
984. And do you remember
what we learned aboutCopy !req
985. when the baby birds
are born?Copy !req
986. When the mommy
decides it's time
for them to leave home?Copy !req
987. What does she do?Copy !req
988. She nudges them
out of the nest.Copy !req
989. That's right.Copy !req
990. But the mommy bird
knows that even though
the babies are scared,Copy !req
991. it's time for them
to fly away.Copy !req
992. So, even though
your heart hurts
very, very much,Copy !req
993. I think it's for the best.
It's time for you
to fly away, Tim.Copy !req
994. Bye-bye,
little birdie Tim.Copy !req
995. Bye-bye.Copy !req
996. Bye, bye-bye.Copy !req
997. I love you.Copy !req
998. Yeah,
you better love meCopy !req
999. if you're gonna fuck me
in the poop shoot
the way you done.Copy !req
1000. Bill?
Orin Helgesson told meCopy !req
1001. about your little hootenanny
in the pool there, Tim.Copy !req
1002. What are you thinking?Copy !req
1003. You add that to
the goddamn petition,Copy !req
1004. may as well commit
suicide here.Copy !req
1005. Father of the bride.Copy !req
1006. Yeah, I'll be
right there.Copy !req
1007. I can fix it, Bill.
Just tell me what to do.Copy !req
1008. Oh, what to do.Copy !req
1009. You can win the Two Diamonds.
That's what you do, Tim.Copy !req
1010. Or so help me, Jesus God,
you won't have a job,
you won't have a life.Copy !req
1011. All you'll have is
my fist up your assCopy !req
1012. and believe you me,
that's something
neither of us wants.Copy !req
1013. Bill, please,
just listen to me
for a minute...Copy !req
1014. Ah! Cripes almighty.
Worst day of my life.Copy !req
1015. Hey,
Sorry, folks.Copy !req
1016. Oh, you look
so beautiful, Kim.Copy !req
1017. You look like a flower.Copy !req
1018. Smile, father.Copy !req
1019. A gosh dang flower.Copy !req
1020. I'm dead.Copy !req
1021. Macy broke up with me,
Orin called Bill,
I'm gonna lose my job.Copy !req
1022. My life is ruined.Copy !req
1023. Sit down.Copy !req
1024. Your life is
not ruined, Lippe.Copy !req
1025. Now, I swore
I would never tell.
I promised.Copy !req
1026. Roger Lemke,Copy !req
1027. I know
how he won the Diamonds
all those years in a row.Copy !req
1028. Yeah, he knocked it
out of the park.Copy !req
1029. He paid for them.Copy !req
1030. He paid Orin cash
in exchange for
the Two Diamonds.Copy !req
1031. That's not...Copy !req
1032. That's not true.
It is.Copy !req
1033. He told me himself.
Roger told me.Copy !req
1034. Really? Why,
he just told you that?Copy !req
1035. That's the
stupidest thing
I've ever heard.Copy !req
1036. Why would he
tell you that?Copy !req
1037. We were together.Copy !req
1038. It was stupid.Copy !req
1039. It ended two years ago,
'cause he was getting into
some pretty weird stuff,Copy !req
1040. as we all know now.
No.Copy !req
1041. Roger was a good man.Copy !req
1042. He was a family man,
and that was an accident.Copy !req
1043. Roger was a freak.Copy !req
1044. Not to mention
a small minded,
egotistical con artist.Copy !req
1045. He was a liar, Tim.Copy !req
1046. And, yes, he paid
for the Two Diamonds.Copy !req
1047. My foot!Copy !req
1048. I'm sure you seduced him,
just like you did me.Copy !req
1049. You ruined my life.Copy !req
1050. Are you fucking
kidding me?Copy !req
1051. I am trying to
help you outCopy !req
1052. and you are acting
like a child.Copy !req
1053. Well, I'd rather
act like a child
than a prostitute.Copy !req
1054. Timbo, red bush?Copy !req
1055. Deanzie needs details.Copy !req
1056. Lay off.Copy !req
1057. What the...
What are you doing?Copy !req
1058. Timbo, what the hell's
wrong with you, Timbo?Copy !req
1059. What are you doing?
Ow!Copy !req
1060. Ow!
Titty twister!Copy !req
1061. Why are you laughing?Copy !req
1062. You think my life
is a joke?Copy !req
1063. I lost my job
and my loverCopy !req
1064. and my hero paid bribes
to win the Two Diamonds.Copy !req
1065. What did you just say?Copy !req
1066. Lemke bought
the Two Diamonds?Copy !req
1067. You're saying
Lemke paid off Orin?Copy !req
1068. No, Dean,
you can't say anything.Copy !req
1069. You can't...
Oh, my God.Copy !req
1070. Dean, please.Copy !req
1071. That holy rolling
hypocrite. I love it.Copy !req
1072. Timbo,
this is pure gold.Copy !req
1073. Please don't.Copy !req
1074. All right, listen.
We look like a couple
of homos out here.Copy !req
1075. Let's go in the room
and discuss this
like gentlemen,Copy !req
1076. over Bloody Mary's.Copy !req
1077. You're freaking out.
Your world is crumbling.Copy !req
1078. It's your first ASMI.Copy !req
1079. I get it.Copy !req
1080. Here.Copy !req
1081. Welcome to the jungle,
Timbo.Copy !req
1082. Now, my ex, Patti,Copy !req
1083. well-established fact
that this broadCopy !req
1084. is a serious cunt stain,
am I right?Copy !req
1085. But she's got it
to where the kids
hate my guts.Copy !req
1086. I'm the bad guy.Copy !req
1087. Except, when our
17-year-old daughter
comes home pregnant,Copy !req
1088. who's the one
who's so depressedCopy !req
1089. she can't come out
from under the afghan
on the goddamn couch?Copy !req
1090. Patti. And who's the one
who's planning the baby showerCopy !req
1091. and taking Meg
to the gyno
and all that shit?Copy !req
1092. The fucking Deanzie.Copy !req
1093. What are you
talking about?Copy !req
1094. What I'm talking
about, Tim,Copy !req
1095. is, even though
I may be a blowhardCopy !req
1096. and, let's face it,
kind of a jagoff,Copy !req
1097. I'm there for the people
that need me.Copy !req
1098. And I don't spill
my friends' beans.Copy !req
1099. Now, tell me this.Copy !req
1100. Are we friends?Copy !req
1101. Yeah.Copy !req
1102. Did you feel that?Copy !req
1103. Something just
happened right now.Copy !req
1104. Now, you're with Deanzie,Copy !req
1105. and I'm not letting go.Copy !req
1106. And believe me,
I would love to exposeCopy !req
1107. Orin Helgesson's
hypocritical bullshit.Copy !req
1108. But if you're asking
me not to, I won't,
because you're my friend.Copy !req
1109. Thank you.Copy !req
1110. Now you see how dark
this place is.Copy !req
1111. All right,
I got tiger scratches
on my backCopy !req
1112. from 20 years
in this business.Copy !req
1113. Let me tell
you something.Copy !req
1114. If you wanna survive,Copy !req
1115. you either gotta
fight the tigerCopy !req
1116. or you gotta dance
with the tiger.Copy !req
1117. Like Roger did.Copy !req
1118. How do you make
the tiger dance?Copy !req
1119. You gotta show him
a little teat.Copy !req
1120. How'd it go
with Helgesson,
big guy?Copy !req
1121. I think I did
a fair to middling job.Copy !req
1122. Oh, Tim, don't forget,Copy !req
1123. your one-on-one with Orin
starts in 10 minutes.Copy !req
1124. President Helgesson.Copy !req
1125. Come in.
Have a seat
on the davenport.Copy !req
1126. President Helgesson,
what I'd like to
talk to you about todayCopy !req
1127. are risk
mitigation mechanisms
available to...Copy !req
1128. You came down here
to the big show, Tim,Copy !req
1129. and you got
the little twinklies
in the eye,Copy !req
1130. and you succumbed to
the call of a floozy.Copy !req
1131. I just want to say
I'm really sorryCopy !req
1132. for my role in
the malfeasance
in the pool.Copy !req
1133. You blew it, Tim.
You blew it.Copy !req
1134. I need the Two Diamonds.Copy !req
1135. Well, you should
have thought of thatCopy !req
1136. before you took off
your big boy pants.Copy !req
1137. No, no.Copy !req
1138. Please, just...Copy !req
1139. All right,
now you take a minute
to compose yourselfCopy !req
1140. and then
I'm gonna have to
ask you to leave.Copy !req
1141. I'm prepared to
show you a little teat.Copy !req
1142. Will you dance with me,
President Helgesson?Copy !req
1143. Do you wanna...Copy !req
1144. We can dance.Copy !req
1145. Tim...
I have money.Copy !req
1146. I can give you money.Copy !req
1147. Interesting.Copy !req
1148. You know, Tim,
one thing that
Roger knew.Copy !req
1149. Roger knew that
if you want to win, you...Copy !req
1150. I like the way
you put it,Copy !req
1151. you have to be prepared
to show a little teat.Copy !req
1152. It's a $50
traveler's check.
It's fully insured.Copy !req
1153. Well, so it is.
So it is.Copy !req
1154. What else you got
hiding in there?Copy !req
1155. I brought $1,500
in checksCopy !req
1156. in case of
an emergency.Copy !req
1157. Well, this sure seems
like an emergency to me.Copy !req
1158. Congratulations,
Mr. Two Diamond
Award winner.Copy !req
1159. Looks like I just found
the next Roger Lemke.Copy !req
1160. You remember that
petition to recallCopy !req
1161. BrownStar's
Two Diamond Awards?Copy !req
1162. I just made
that disappear.Copy !req
1163. Poof! Gone.
Rainmaker.Copy !req
1164. Hey,
can I bum a heater?Copy !req
1165. Yeah.Copy !req
1166. So, you wanna party?Copy !req
1167. Maybe.Copy !req
1168. Maybe later?
Maybe later.Copy !req
1169. All right,
I'll be around.Copy !req
1170. Hey, can
I bum a heater?Copy !req
1171. All right.Copy !req
1172. Hey, butterscotch.Copy !req
1173. You look like
you're in serious need
of some relaxation.Copy !req
1174. Yeah.Copy !req
1175. That's okay,
I don't have
any money anyway.Copy !req
1176. No, no, no,
I didn't mean that.Copy !req
1177. I'm going to a party
at my Uncle Ken's house.
You should come.Copy !req
1178. I don't know, Bree.
I did something today
I don't feel very good about.Copy !req
1179. I do that,
like, every day.Copy !req
1180. How could I do that?Copy !req
1181. You know, it seems like
your subconscious is all,
like, talking shit.Copy !req
1182. Like, "Fuck you, man."
You know?Copy !req
1183. Yeah, I just...
I'm a criminal now.Copy !req
1184. I mean, that was
a criminal act.Copy !req
1185. It's kind of like,
you can't keep
your emotionsCopy !req
1186. in these little cages
like little animals,
you know,Copy !req
1187. like coyotes
and armadillos
and shit.Copy !req
1188. It's like,
they just want to break free.
Right, Uncle Ken?Copy !req
1189. Yeah. Pass me
that Q, Bree.Copy !req
1190. Whoa.Copy !req
1191. Is that...Copy !req
1192. You...
Wait, you can't...Copy !req
1193. I don't know,
is that safe?Copy !req
1194. This would be marijuana,
I take it?Copy !req
1195. It'll make you
feel better.Copy !req
1196. Suck the glass dick, dude.Copy !req
1197. It's not...Copy !req
1198. Suck that
fucking dick, man.Copy !req
1199. Oh, jeez.Copy !req
1200. Yeah!
Yeah!Copy !req
1201. Butterscotch lit up.Copy !req
1202. It's so pretty
out here.Copy !req
1203. Hey, you're getting fat.
Fuck your mom.Copy !req
1204. What?
Fuck wad.Copy !req
1205. Everyone's cool.
I promise, man.Copy !req
1206. Hey,
nice suit, faggot.Copy !req
1207. Leave him alone, Gary.Copy !req
1208. Fuck you, whore.Copy !req
1209. Hey, that's not
very cool.Copy !req
1210. Yes, it was.
It was pretty cool.Copy !req
1211. Suck the shit out
of my cock, Gary.Copy !req
1212. Okay,
let's schedule that.Copy !req
1213. There we go.
Magic's happening.
Okay.Copy !req
1214. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1215. Danny?
Danny isn't here,
Mrs. Torrance.Copy !req
1216. Danny's gone away.
But, here's Johnny.Copy !req
1217. And a shining
good evening...
Where is Timbo?Copy !req
1218. This is weird.
I wanna know what happened
at that one-on-one today.Copy !req
1219. Since when did you care
about stuff like that,
Ziegler?Copy !req
1220. Let's just say
I'm worried.
All right?Copy !req
1221. Yeah, I'm a little
worried myself.Copy !req
1222. He was really
pissed at me
this morning.Copy !req
1223. Oh, I know. Believe me.Copy !req
1224. We talk about everything.
He's practically my
best friend at this point.Copy !req
1225. You just met him
two days ago.Copy !req
1226. You know what,
blow me, Ronald.Copy !req
1227. It's not my problem
if you're too
goddamn afraidCopy !req
1228. to tell another man
that you love him.Copy !req
1229. What is his
cell phone number?Copy !req
1230. I don't know.
I don't have it.Copy !req
1231. I've got it.Copy !req
1232. Here, no, no, no.
I'll talk to him.
I'll talk to him.Copy !req
1233. He's not gonna
recognize your voice.Copy !req
1234. Hello?Copy !req
1235. Timbo,
you're missing the show.Copy !req
1236. Deanzie!Copy !req
1237. I miss you.
I miss your smile.Copy !req
1238. Yeah, yeah,
I miss your smile, too.
What are you doing?Copy !req
1239. I'm high on drugs.Copy !req
1240. I'm a 110% blotto.Copy !req
1241. Where are you, buddy?
I'll come meet you
right now.Copy !req
1242. You wanna party,
Deanzie?Copy !req
1243. Yeah, you know me.Copy !req
1244. Good.Copy !req
1245. Bree, Deanzie
wants to party.Copy !req
1246. Yeah!Copy !req
1247. How does he get here?Copy !req
1248. I used to worship
these guys.Copy !req
1249. I thought
they were like,
terrificCopy !req
1250. and important
and like...Copy !req
1251. And like, they were
good to other people
and they did the right thingCopy !req
1252. and they were special
like the Founding Fathers
of America.Copy !req
1253. Like Thomas Jefferson.Copy !req
1254. Yes! NTS.Copy !req
1255. Bree, not too shabby.Copy !req
1256. Ron...
What?Copy !req
1257. Is there something
wrong with your van?Copy !req
1258. No, there's nothing
wrong with the van.Copy !req
1259. Why is it
going so slow?Copy !req
1260. I don't
wanna mess around
and get a ticket.Copy !req
1261. Ron,
the car's gonna stallCopy !req
1262. if you go any
slower than this.Copy !req
1263. Look, there's a turtle,
that's going faster than us.Copy !req
1264. Where?
She's kidding, Ron.Copy !req
1265. There he is.Copy !req
1266. You're smart.
You are.Copy !req
1267. And you're pretty,
and you're sweet,
and you're insightful.Copy !req
1268. You're insightful.
Like a guidance counselor.Copy !req
1269. And your smile,
just then,
when you do that.Copy !req
1270. Don't do that
'cause it makes me,
like, happy. Too happy.Copy !req
1271. And you don't have to do
those things that you do
with, like, strangers.Copy !req
1272. You're good,
and you don't need
to do that.Copy !req
1273. You're so sweet, Tim.Copy !req
1274. But, you know,
we're all just
selling something.Copy !req
1275. A fuck, dope,
insurance.Copy !req
1276. What about that guy
you had to bribe for
that award or whatever?Copy !req
1277. It's like we're all
just selling something.Copy !req
1278. I know,
and it's a major bummer.
You just bummed me out.Copy !req
1279. What you said
just bummed me out.Copy !req
1280. I'm so bummed out
right now.Copy !req
1281. I'm so bummed out.Copy !req
1282. Oh, man.
This place is bad news.Copy !req
1283. All right, look.
You guys go in
the front door,Copy !req
1284. I'm gonna go
around back.Copy !req
1285. Sounds good, Rambo.Copy !req
1286. Do you know what
an RIP license app is?Copy !req
1287. You don't, do you?
You don't even know.Copy !req
1288. You're probably uninsured.
You have it all figured out.Copy !req
1289. I bet you don't even
have a toothbrush.Copy !req
1290. Come on, Tim, don't.Copy !req
1291. What?Copy !req
1292. Hey!Copy !req
1293. We don't want any trouble.
We're just here
to get our friend.Copy !req
1294. I got a fucking
toothbrush.Copy !req
1295. That's enough.Copy !req
1296. Gary, he's cool.
I said he's cool.Copy !req
1297. Don't do that
to Bree.Copy !req
1298. Don't push!
Don't push Bree.Copy !req
1299. Hey, whoa, whoa.
Can we help you?Copy !req
1300. Yeah, maybe you can.
I'm looking for
a friend of mine.Copy !req
1301. He's a skinny guy,
wearing a suit and tie.
Have you seen him?Copy !req
1302. Eat me, cop.Copy !req
1303. I'm not a cop,
Joan Jett.Copy !req
1304. So, clean out your ears
and tell me...
You know what, man,Copy !req
1305. what's your fucking
problem? Really?
I don't have a problem.Copy !req
1306. Look, I'm just
asking a question.Copy !req
1307. You want
a little piece
of this?Copy !req
1308. No, I don't... Ow!Copy !req
1309. No, stop!
Okay, that's enough.Copy !req
1310. Hey, stop!Copy !req
1311. Here, grab my hand.
Grab his hand!Copy !req
1312. Grab my hand.
I'm trying to help you up.
Grab my hand.Copy !req
1313. Let him help you.Copy !req
1314. What are we gonna do?Copy !req
1315. Come on.Copy !req
1316. Come on?Copy !req
1317. Hey. Hey, Hey!Copy !req
1318. Who's this motherfucker?Copy !req
1319. I may look like
some suit wearing
businessman to y'all,Copy !req
1320. truth is,
I'm straight up gangster.Copy !req
1321. And I always keep
one in the chamber
in case you pondering.Copy !req
1322. So, I suggest
for the time being,Copy !req
1323. you let my nigger be,
motherfucker.Copy !req
1324. Come on. Get up.Copy !req
1325. Indeed.Copy !req
1326. Timbo!Copy !req
1327. What about Ziegler?Copy !req
1328. Ziegler will be coming.
Just start the car.Copy !req
1329. Bye, butterscotch.Copy !req
1330. See you tomorrow.Copy !req
1331. Butterscotch,
come back. Come on.Copy !req
1332. Just go back inside.Copy !req
1333. Here, here, here.
Take a beer for the road.Copy !req
1334. There he is,
there he is. Stop.Copy !req
1335. Don't stop.
Don't stop.Copy !req
1336. I'll catch up.Copy !req
1337. Just go slowly.
Where you going?Copy !req
1338. I thought you were gonna
kick the shit out of us?Copy !req
1339. No, no.Copy !req
1340. Come on, faggot.
We're just getting
to know you, bro.Copy !req
1341. Hey, wait,
wait up for me, wait.Copy !req
1342. Bree, what are you doing?
Bree, get back here.Copy !req
1343. Who are you?
I'm friends
with that dude.Copy !req
1344. You're friends
with Timbo?
Yeah. Fuck, yeah!Copy !req
1345. I'm his best friend.
Get in there.Copy !req
1346. Move. Hit it, Ronimal.Copy !req
1347. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.Copy !req
1348. My God, you guys.Copy !req
1349. You know her?
Yeah.Copy !req
1350. Yeah, you know me.
She's my friend.Copy !req
1351. Yes, I've been...
'Cause she's like,
"He's my friend."Copy !req
1352. I was like,
"Yeah, he's my friend.Copy !req
1353. "Get in the van."
What are we doing here?Copy !req
1354. Timbo, what the hell
happened back there?Copy !req
1355. I don't know.
I was on the floor
getting kicked,Copy !req
1356. and then I looked up
and Ronald was like,Copy !req
1357. talking like
a ghetto person.
He was.Copy !req
1358. I don't like to brag,
but I do a pretty
convincing OmarCopy !req
1359. from the HBO program
The Wire.Copy !req
1360. "At least those
crackers back yonder
seemed to buy it."Copy !req
1361. I love it. Crackers.Copy !req
1362. That's exactly like
they say it, Ronimal.Copy !req
1363. Put them up.
That's incredible.Copy !req
1364. Watch this guy,
he's got tricks.
I'm telling you.Copy !req
1365. Good night.
Good night.Copy !req
1366. Bree!
No, Tim.Copy !req
1367. Why don't you
come back with me?Copy !req
1368. Oh, no,
that's not gonna happen.Copy !req
1369. Thanks for
being so cool.Copy !req
1370. I love you.Copy !req
1371. Jesus.Copy !req
1372. I love you, too.Copy !req
1373. I love you so much.Copy !req
1374. You could fuck me
in the ass if you want.Copy !req
1375. Oh, no. Okay.Copy !req
1376. Maybe another
time, Timbo.Copy !req
1377. I have heard
about that.Copy !req
1378. Good night.
I wanna do that.Copy !req
1379. Bye-bye.
Wait.Copy !req
1380. Night-night, Tim.
Bree.Copy !req
1381. This is
a great place you got.
We gotta hit the road.Copy !req
1382. Her eyes are
like round oceans.
Yeah.Copy !req
1383. And her freckles.Copy !req
1384. But she's a prostitute
and I sold my soul
a little.Copy !req
1385. All right, Timbo.
Just keep it down.Copy !req
1386. Bree sells her body,Copy !req
1387. but I sold my soul.Copy !req
1388. Okay.
Why don't you guys
get some sleep.Copy !req
1389. I'll stay up with him
and make sure he doesn't
chew his arm off.Copy !req
1390. Listen,
whatever you did, buddy,
you had to do,Copy !req
1391. and I ain't saying squat.Copy !req
1392. I sold my soul, Dean.Copy !req
1393. I know, I know.Copy !req
1394. Okay, lie down.Copy !req
1395. You promised to
bring me a pocket of posiesCopy !req
1396. You promised to bring me
a pocket of posiesCopy !req
1397. Johnny's so long
at the fairCopy !req
1398. Oh, dear!
What can the matter be?Copy !req
1399. Oh, dear!
What can the matter be?Copy !req
1400. Johnny's so long
at the fairCopy !req
1401. Joan, I'm sorry
I called you a prostitute.
You're not a prostitute. I am.Copy !req
1402. You're just
a really nice lady.Copy !req
1403. It's okay.Copy !req
1404. Bill?
Hey, Ron.Copy !req
1405. Bill? What are
you doing here?Copy !req
1406. Hey, Tim.Copy !req
1407. Joan.Copy !req
1408. The Kroger. I love it.Copy !req
1409. Ziegler, Jesus.
What the hell is this?Copy !req
1410. Some kind of
goddamn pajama party
or something?Copy !req
1411. No, it's a circle
jerk, Bill.Copy !req
1412. Drop your pants
and grab some lube.Copy !req
1413. Oh, that's nice.
No, I'm here to give some
good news to someone.Copy !req
1414. Orin called me.
He tipped me off,Copy !req
1415. I don't know
how the hell
you did it,Copy !req
1416. but we won.Copy !req
1417. And, well,
it's the darndest thing,Copy !req
1418. it seems like winning
four awards in a rowCopy !req
1419. has made us look
pretty attractive
to certain folks.Copy !req
1420. Mike Pyle is buying
BrownStar.Copy !req
1421. You're selling?Copy !req
1422. That's why
I drove down here.Copy !req
1423. Gonna sign the contracts
in the morning.Copy !req
1424. Boy, it's a super
deal, too. Super.Copy !req
1425. Only snag is,
and you gotta know,Copy !req
1426. I fought like
a goddamn wild cat
on this.Copy !req
1427. Pyle is shutting down
the Brown Valley office.Copy !req
1428. What?Copy !req
1429. No, don't worry about it.
I got Pyle to fold you
in to the Milwaukee office.Copy !req
1430. Bill...Copy !req
1431. No, stop it.
Do not thank me.Copy !req
1432. Do not thank me.
You earned it. You earned it.
It was all you.Copy !req
1433. Tell you what,
why don't you get some sleep
and we'll talk in the a.m.Copy !req
1434. Does that sound good to you?
That's what we'll do.Copy !req
1435. All right. Ron.Copy !req
1436. Hello?Copy !req
1437. Hey, Kurt Gambsky,
it's Tim Lippe.Copy !req
1438. Hey. It's Tim Lippe.Copy !req
1439. I am awful sorry to
bother you at this hour,Copy !req
1440. but, Kurt, I have to
ask you something.Copy !req
1441. I'm sorry
to call you so late.Copy !req
1442. I'm calling on behalf
of Tim Lippe.Copy !req
1443. Oh, Tim Lippe, yes.
Go ahead.Copy !req
1444. I'm not selling anything,Copy !req
1445. I just wanna explain
something to you
for two minutes.Copy !req
1446. Do you have
two minutes?Copy !req
1447. Of course.Copy !req
1448. Well, he certainly
values you as a customer
and I was just wondering,Copy !req
1449. if he needed to
reach out to you,Copy !req
1450. would you be willing
to help him out?Copy !req
1451. You bet. Tim rocks.Copy !req
1452. Here we go.Copy !req
1453. It is my privilege
to announce
the Two Diamond winner,Copy !req
1454. our friends from
BrownStar Insurance,Copy !req
1455. Bill Krogstad,
I see you there.
Come on, come on.Copy !req
1456. Front row,
he's in the front row.
Let's hear it for him.Copy !req
1457. Oh, man, this is great.
Thanks, Orin.Copy !req
1458. This is so great.Copy !req
1459. I think this is kind of
a bittersweet honor, folks,Copy !req
1460. because,
after 25-plus years,Copy !req
1461. I'm gonna be
selling BrownStar.Copy !req
1462. Yeah, to this son
of a gun right here,
Mike Pyle.Copy !req
1463. Let's hear it for him.
Come on up here, Mike.Copy !req
1464. Bill and I wanted to
take this opportunityCopy !req
1465. to finally put
pen to paper
on our deal.Copy !req
1466. Guys,
hold on a minute.Copy !req
1467. Tim Lippe, everyone.Copy !req
1468. Hi, everyone.Copy !req
1469. As you just heard,
Mike Pyle wants
to buy BrownStar,Copy !req
1470. but only
if it's a Two Diamond
rated agency.Copy !req
1471. And for good reason,
because the Two Diamond AwardCopy !req
1472. Which is why
it might surprise you
to find outCopy !req
1473. what I actually did
to win this award.Copy !req
1474. I went into
my one-on-one session
with OrinCopy !req
1475. in the Tiffany Suite,Copy !req
1476. and we engaged
in a filthy actCopy !req
1477. of which I am
totally ashamed.Copy !req
1478. I let Orin inside of me,Copy !req
1479. where he tainted
the most sacred
and special part of me.Copy !req
1480. Of course,
I'm talking about
my integrity,Copy !req
1481. Which I thought
was priceless,Copy !req
1482. but turns out
it's only worth $1,500Copy !req
1483. because that's
what I paid Orin
to get this award.Copy !req
1484. Tim, I think there's
some mistake here.Copy !req
1485. No mistake.Copy !req
1486. No, I think
I have receipts
for the back dues.Copy !req
1487. You can't hide
from the truth, Orin.Copy !req
1488. When I got to
Cedar Rapids,Copy !req
1489. I was scared
and I trusted
the wrong people.Copy !req
1490. I thought,
because I was from
a small town,Copy !req
1491. I couldn't think
for myself.Copy !req
1492. Boy, was that a mistake.Copy !req
1493. ASMI deserves an award
that actually stands
for something,Copy !req
1494. and I just hope
that by the time
I come back next year,Copy !req
1495. maybe I will have
shown you thatCopy !req
1496. I really understand
what that means again.Copy !req
1497. I'm really sorry.Copy !req
1498. Hey, Bill, the award
was part of the deal.
I know that.Copy !req
1499. This is a problem.
We got a real mess here.Copy !req
1500. Nothing I can't change.Copy !req
1501. You don't have the award.
A deal is a deal.Copy !req
1502. It's right there.
You just saw him
give it to me.Copy !req
1503. What are you
talking about?
This is a no go.Copy !req
1504. This is a no go.Copy !req
1505. I'm proud of you, Tim.Copy !req
1506. That was
the right thing to do.Copy !req
1507. Lippe,
you freaking
goofy bastard.Copy !req
1508. After all I did for you,
how dare you?Copy !req
1509. You fucked up
a great deal.Copy !req
1510. No, that
wasn't a good deal.
It was a dirty deal.Copy !req
1511. You lied.
Sold us down the river.Copy !req
1512. And you know what?
I've had enough of it.Copy !req
1513. I called a bunch of
my clients last night.
They all said the same thing.Copy !req
1514. They said they trust me,
and they want to
stick by me,Copy !req
1515. and I wanna
stick by them.Copy !req
1516. I'm gonna try to
make a go of this
on my own in Brown Valley.Copy !req
1517. You listen to me, kid.Copy !req
1518. This is my company
and I'm selling it.Copy !req
1519. All right, well,
you'll have to do it
without my clients.Copy !req
1520. I've already got 17 of them
committed to me in writing.Copy !req
1521. Oh, yeah? Really?
We'll see about that.Copy !req
1522. It's squeaky clean, Bill.
I've got the faxes right here.Copy !req
1523. Son of a bitch!Copy !req
1524. You did it.Copy !req
1525. That's fighting
the tiger.Copy !req
1526. Wow.
Right there.Copy !req
1527. Let's get this guy
a cream sherry,
tout de suite.Copy !req
1528. Way to stand them down.Copy !req
1529. I feel like
I'm gonna throw up.Copy !req
1530. That was awesome.Copy !req
1531. Here you are,
Mr. Lippe.Copy !req
1532. Thank you.Copy !req
1533. Knock, knock.Copy !req
1534. Who's there?Copy !req
1535. I don't know.
I'm too doggone tired
to answer the door.Copy !req
1536. I love it.
Classic Ronimal.
Almost not a joke.Copy !req
1537. I'll tell you what, guys.Copy !req
1538. My cousin Bob,
who is loaded
by the way,Copy !req
1539. has a cottage in
Lake of the Woods
in Canada.Copy !req
1540. This summer,
the three of us.
What do you say?Copy !req
1541. More time in
a tightly enclosed space
with Ziegler.Copy !req
1542. Sign me up.Copy !req
1543. I think it sounds
like an awesome idea.Copy !req
1544. Actually, the Ronimal
could use a vacation.Copy !req
1545. Done and done.Copy !req
1546. Give me some sugar.Copy !req
1547. Oh!Copy !req
1548. Come on, Timbo.
I love you, pal.Copy !req
1549. There she is.
The belle of the ball.Copy !req
1550. Until the next ASMI,
my dear.Copy !req
1551. Bye, Deanzie.Copy !req
1552. Stay foxy.Copy !req
1553. Call you tomorrow,
Timbo.Copy !req
1554. Bye, Ron.
Bye-bye.Copy !req
1555. See you, Ronimal.
Bye.Copy !req
1556. So, you keep in touch.Copy !req
1557. E-mail,
all that good stuff.Copy !req
1558. Yeah, I will.
Of course.Copy !req
1559. Thanks, Insurance Man.Copy !req
1560. For what?Copy !req
1561. For a good time.Copy !req
1562. Oh, hey, you.Copy !req
1563. Jeez, what happened?Copy !req
1564. Well, let's see.Copy !req
1565. I got beat up,
and I got completely blotto
on drugs and alcohol,Copy !req
1566. and I befriended
a prostitute.Copy !req
1567. It was awesome.Copy !req
1568. Well, I guess
someone deserves two bags
of honey roasted peanuts.Copy !req
1569. Wow, thanks, Sherri.Copy !req
1570. You bet.
See you next time.Copy !req
1571. Two bags.Copy !req
1572. Awesome.Copy !req
1573. Why did the psychoanalyst
prescribe anxiety drugs
to the anxious doctor?Copy !req
1574. I don't know.Copy !req
1575. Because he had
no patience.Copy !req
1576. Okay. Ouch!
Okay.Copy !req
1577. That was painful.Copy !req
1578. Okay, what's
brown and sticky?Copy !req
1579. I don't know.
What?Copy !req
1580. A stick.Copy !req
1581. What do you call
an anorexic with
a yeast infection?Copy !req
1582. A quarter-pounder
with cheese.Copy !req
1583. Oh, man.
That's gross.Copy !req
1584. That's terrible, man.Copy !req
1585. Yes, you can.Copy !req
1586. No, you can't.
I've heard...Copy !req
1587. No, it's not
a wives tale.
You can.Copy !req
1588. No, you can't
really do that.Copy !req
1589. The flame would go up
into your bottom and...Copy !req
1590. No, no, listen.Copy !req
1591. blow you up
or something.
You know what?Copy !req
1592. I got one in
the chamber right now.
I got one right now.Copy !req
1593. Oh, my gosh.Copy !req
1594. It went back up
there a little bit.Copy !req
1595. Hi, I'm Dean Ziegler.Copy !req
1596. Hi, I'm Ronald Wilkes.Copy !req
1597. And I'm Tim Lippe.Copy !req
1598. There are a lot of
risks out there today.Copy !req
1599. Which is why
you need insurance
from the best.Copy !req
1600. If you live
in Wisconsin
or Minnesota,Copy !req
1601. Top Notch Mutual
has your insurance
needs covered.Copy !req
1602. Because,
no matter what happens...Copy !req
1603. We got you.
We got you.Copy !req
1604. We got you.
We got you.Copy !req
1605. Don't worry, little girl.Copy !req
1606. We got you.
We got you.Copy !req
1607. Remember,
call anytime...Copy !req
1608. Day or night.
Because no matter what...Copy !req
1609. We got you.
We got you.Copy !req
1610. Last night I had
the strangest dreamCopy !req
1611. I sailed away to China
In a little row boat
to find yaCopy !req
1612. And you said you had to get
your laundry cleanedCopy !req
1613. Didn't want
no one to hold youCopy !req
1614. What does that mean?
And you said...Copy !req
1615. Ain't nothin'
gonna break my strideCopy !req
1616. Nobody gonna slow me down
Oh, noCopy !req
1617. I've got to keep on movin'Copy !req
1618. Ain't nothin'
gonna break my strideCopy !req
1619. I'm runnin' and
I won't touch ground
Oh, noCopy !req
1620. I've got to keep on movin'Copy !req
1621. You're on the road
and now you pray it lastsCopy !req
1622. The road behind was rocky,
but now you're feelin' cockyCopy !req
1623. You look at me
and you see your pastCopy !req
1624. Is that the reason
why you're runnin' so fastCopy !req
1625. Never let
another girl like youCopy !req
1626. Work me overCopy !req
1627. Never let
another girl like youCopy !req
1628. Drag me underCopy !req
1629. If I meet
another girl like youCopy !req
1630. I will tell herCopy !req
1631. Never want
another girl like youCopy !req
1632. Have to say, ohCopy !req
1633. Ain't nothin'
gonna break my strideCopy !req
1634. Nobody gonna slow me down
Oh, noCopy !req
1635. I've got to keep on movin'Copy !req
1636. Ain't nothin'
gonna break my strideCopy !req
1637. I'm runnin' and
I won't touch ground
Oh, noCopy !req
1638. I've got to keep on movin'Copy !req
1639. Ain't nothin'
gonna break my strideCopy !req
1640. Nobody gonna slow me down
Oh, noCopy !req
1641. I've got to keep on movin'Copy !req
1642. Ain't nothin'
gonna break my strideCopy !req
1643. I'm runnin' and
I won't touch ground
Oh, noCopy !req