Bugonia (2025)

1. It all starts with something... magnificent.

2. A flower.

3. Just a flower.

4. Then a honeybee.

5. Very fragile.

6. Very complicated.

7. The bee gathers pollen

8. and deposits it in another flower's stigma.

9. It's like sex but cleaner.

10. And nobody gets hurt.

11. A third of our food is pollinated this way.

12. You understand the scope of that?

13. That's how vital the bees are, Don.

14. And they're dying.

15. Why?

16. It's like we talked about, cuz. Remember?

17. CCD. It's like a pandemic.

18. Workers desert the queen

19. until she's all alone with her young,

20. and the colony wastes away.

21. But, why do they leave her?

22. Well...

23. people claim it's pesticides or habitat loss.

24. Or some people think world governments

25. and their agro-corporate overlords

26. bioengineered CCD to manipulate food supplies.

27. But I knew there had to be

28. a larger organizing principle at work.

29. So I studied.

30. I observed.

31. Down.

32. I searched in the ground

33. and in the stars

34. until I found it.

35. It was there all along.

36. Fucking caging us, poisoning us,

37. choking us out.

38. One. Two.

39. We are not steering the ship, Don.

40. Oh, good job.

41. They are.

42. And now it's up to you and me

43. to stop them.

44. The training is for a reason, Don.

45. It's going to try and dominate us,

46. but we're not gonna let it, are we?

47. You mean she'll try to hurt us?

48. Oh, yes, Don. It's highly dangerous.

49. So we have to prepare...

50. - Down. Up. - ... our bodies, our brains.

51. Come on. Come on. Come on.

52. Why are you laughing?

53. Sorry, you just look a little funny doing that,

54. to be honest. Sorry, Teddy.

55. - Okay, well, now you do it. - Okay.

56. Hey, I think I look funny, too.

57. Okay.

58. See? It's good.

59. Oh, and don't forget they track it remotely.

60. And they'll try and track us, too.

61. It'll... weevil into your brainbox every chance it gets,

62. so we have to fortify that shit.

63. Okay.

64. I'll try.

65. You-you hear that, though?

66. Donny?

67. In your voice, how they fucked your confidence?

68. I'm sorry, Teddy.

69. No. Donny, look at me.

70. Don't you ever apologize. Ever.

71. None of this is your fault. Okay?

72. Thanks.

73. It won't play fair.

74. So we have to be better.

75. How can you tell them apart?

76. Well, you have to know where to look.

77. There are signs.

78. What about these people?

79. No.

80. No, they're fine.

81. I mean, they're not fine-fine,

82. but hollowed.

83. You know, like the rest of us. Harmless.

84. Hopeless.

85. And that's the way they planned it.

86. To make us the same as the bees.

87. A dead colony, atomized in a trillion directions

88. with no way home again.

89. - Morning, Ms. Fuller. - Good morning.

90. Have a good day.

91. What does the cream do?

92. The same.

93. Mitigation.

94. Here, get all of it.

95. What if someone finds out about what we're doing?

96. They won't. No one on earth gives a single fuck about us.

97. So until the day comes...

98. we clear the psychic cache, okay?

99. No distractions.

100. No gaming, no vape, no whacking it.

101. No screens whatsoever, except for research.

102. You promise, Don?

103. I know this is a lot,

104. but I... I want you with me on this.

105. I need you, Don.

106. - Hmm. - I know...

107. you're actually smart and brave,

108. and no one else sees it but me.

109. No, you're... No, you're the smart one.

110. The brains of this operation, really. Hmm.

111. - Hmm. But... - Is something wrong?

112. I just...

113. I don't think I can do this.

114. Hey.

115. Come here.

116. Hmm.

117. - Give me a hug. - Ah.

118. I love you, cuzzie.

119. I love you, too, man.

120. You're my best friend in the whole world.

121. My only friend.

122. And I'm doing this to save you most of all.

123. I won't let anyone hurt you, okay?

124. Okay?

125. - Okay. - Never.

126. Yeah.

127. Medroxyprogesterone acetate.

128. It's a progestin-type hormonal med.

129. Chemical castration.

130. - Okay? - Okay.

131. In order for us to hit maximum focus,

132. we have to clear our heads of all psychic compulsions, okay?

133. What does that mean?

134. Hey, buddy.

135. Trust me, I've done a shit ton of research on this.

136. The more of that fuck filler we have jamming up our neurons,

137. the bigger advantage it will have over us.

138. Are you sure?

139. Yes, Donny, I'm sure.

140. It's really important, Don.

141. I just...

142. wanted to be with someone someday.

143. Bud...

144. you gotta believe me. I've figured it out.

145. The part of your brain that distracts you,

146. part of your brain that makes you sad,

147. it's all connected to the biological imperative.

148. These synapses firing off on procreation

149. and seed spread and monogamy,

150. like all these fucking pain traps.

151. It's all... it's all neurons, dude.

152. You just have to harness them.

153. Once you kill the urges, like I have,

154. you'll be your own master.

155. No one can fuck with you.

156. You'll be totally free.

157. Don't you want to be free?

158. Yes.

159. So you ready?

160. Let's do this.

161. - Yeah. - Yeah.

162. Okay, so, uh...

163. Lean over the chair and talk to me.

164. - It'll distract you. - Yeah.

165. How are you, Teddy?

166. I'm doing great, man. How are you?

167. Uh, I'm doing good.

168. So, you excited to be free?

169. Yeah.

170. What does free feel like to you?

171. DON I guess it...

172. feels like when we were little,

173. before things got bad.

174. When everyone was still here.

175. Hey, hey.

176. I know it's been hard, man.

177. But we're gonna get it back again. I promise.

178. All we've lost,

179. all these years, all the shit that's been done to us...

180. we're setting that shit right again.

181. And no one can fuck with us.

182. Not even ourselves.

183. - Morning, Corey. - Good morning, Michelle.

184. I believe every company should strive

185. to form a diverse table.

186. If the people on your team are from diverse backgrounds,

187. they'll find new and creative solutions to problems

188. rather than just iterating.

189. We need to find the next generation of diverse engineers,

190. diverse biologists, diverse doctors.

191. Because it's not just diverse employees,

192. it's diverse thinking.

193. It's about using our corporate resources

194. to empower people of different skills and identities...

195. Holy fucking fucker! Jesus Christ.

196. Every time. What is it?

197. "Skills and identities to foster..."

198. To foster a new generation of Auxolith talent. Okay, let's reset.

199. It's too many "diverses," Chris.

200. It's— I'm going, "diverse, diverse, diverse."

201. Like "Buh-duh, buh-duh, buh-duh."

202. Like a fucking metronome.

203. Well, uh, (CLEARS THROAT), it is diversity training.

204. Yeah, but it's too many, Chris.

205. Can we try to diversify the language a little bit?

206. No, sure.

207. Let's go again.

208. Okay, so that's it then.

209. You just have the investor call with Sara

210. and a VC with Wieden+Kennedy at 9:00 that you can do remote.

211. Thank you, Corey.

212. The 5:30 thing.

213. Uh-huh?

214. Look, I know you sent the email already,

215. but I need you to let everyone know

216. that they are free to leave at 5:30

217. from now on, starting today, okay?

218. But do it in a way that's, you know,

219. what we talked about.

220. - Yeah, of course. - We need to send the message

221. that we have a new culture here now.

222. Where people should, yes, of course,

223. feel free to leave at 5:30 and be with their families.

224. No one is gonna be overworked like in the past.

225. No more unpleasant incidents.

226. But, of course, it's not compulsory.

227. And, obviously, if people still have work to do,

228. they should absolutely stay and continue to work.

229. - Yeah. - But it's not strictly enforced.

230. Although we still do want to meet quotas.

231. So if we can do that with no pressure,

232. just remembering, you know, we are running a business here

233. so "let your conscience guide you" kind of thing.

234. Yeah? Good?

235. I'll definitely let them know.

236. Great.

237. New era.

238. Thank you, Corey.

239. Thanks, Tony.

240. Feel free to leave early.

241. I mean, unless you're busy.

242. Or you have things to do, but feel free if you can.

243. - Up to you. - Yes, ma'am.

244. Your call.

245. Come on, come on.

246. No.

247. Shit! Fuck, fuck!

248. No, no, no! Stay back with her.

249. Spray! Spray!

250. Really have to hurry, bud.

251. - Um, I know. I'm sorry. - Okay, quick as you can.

252. It's like GPS, remember?

253. If its hair is still attached, it can track us remotely,

254. so we want to go as quick as we can.

255. Okay.

256. Is it working?

257. Not much is coming off.

258. Y-You really, you really got to run it through. Harder.

259. But wh-what if I cut her?

260. Don! Do it harder! You won't cut her!

261. Okay.

262. Man, I feel good. Don't you?

263. I guess.

264. You were amazing, cuz.

265. I was?

266. Oh, yeah.

267. Fucking alpha king shit.

268. Well, thanks, man.

269. I knew you could do it.

270. Sure enough, you fucking crushed it.

271. Incredible.

272. What is?

273. Just the detail.

274. The best I've seen.

275. Uh, how can you tell she's an alien?

276. Well, the signs are obvious.

277. They did a hell of a job on it, but the tells are there.

278. Narrow feet.

279. Thin cuticles.

280. Slight overbite.

281. Semi-obtruding earlobes.

282. See?

283. High hair density.

284. You won't notice unless you know what you're looking for.

285. Guess I can see it.

286. It's like, if you don't cook steaks a lot,

287. you won't know when it's cooked medium-rare,

288. but if you cook steaks all the time, you just know.

289. You don't even have to cut into it.

290. You just... know.

291. Hey, hey, um...

292. Why are we doing this?

293. Is she itchy?

294. No, Don. It's not itchy.

295. Its genetic structure is the same as ours,

296. uh, but its nervous system is different.

297. The antihistamine reacts to the neurotransmitters

298. in its nervous system and weakens it.

299. We're just leveling the playing field.

300. It's not torture. Torture is what it's done to us.

301. Huh.

302. The sedative should wear off soon.

303. Should we go get dressed?

304. - Okay. - Okay, come on.

305. - Is it too tight? - No, man.

306. No, this was my dad's shit.

307. He left it behind for a reason,

308. so that it could be put to good use.

309. Everything's for a reason, Don.

310. It's too tight.

311. - I look stupid. - No, you don't.

312. You look fine, honestly. You look fine.

313. Anyway... what's that swine gonna do,

314. call the fashion police and arrest you?

315. This isn't about her.

316. Hey.

317. It is not in control anymore.

318. We are.

319. Besides, I'll be doing most of the talking anyway.

320. In fact, maybe don't say much.

321. Like, you-you don't really have to say much.

322. Okay.

323. Like, don't talk at all, maybe.

324. Oh.

325. Welcome.

326. Are you conscious?

327. - What? - Is she conscious?

328. I can only proceed if you're fully conscious, so...

329. Uh...

330. What?

331. Yes. Greetings.

332. This is my home.

333. Where...

334. This i— this is a hospital?

335. - No, this is not a hospital. - Is this a...

336. Fuck it. I'm just gonna start.

337. "Welcome to the headquarters of the human resistance.

338. "Despite our general suspicion and disavowal

339. "of all extant governing bodies,

340. "and despite the fact that you as an Andromedan,

341. "are not subject to the human rights guidelines

342. "detailed in the Geneva Conventions,

343. "we nevertheless endeavor to adhere to those guidelines

344. out of the humanist principles to which they aspire."

345. What is happening?

346. I'm explaining to you that I would like to keep

347. all of this very aboveboard and civilized, so...

348. Where's my hair?

349. - Your hair's been destroyed. - You shaved off my hair?

350. Yes, we've shaved off your hair.

351. Why have you shaved off my hair?

352. To prevent you from contacting your ship.

353. - My ship? - Your ship.

354. What ship?

355. Your mother ship.

356. - Okay. - Full disclosure:

357. I've also applied a thin layer of antihistamine cream to your skin...

358. - Excuse me. Listen to me. - ... which we'll need to reapply

359. every day for full effectiveness.

360. Listen to me.

361. I'm listening.

362. Right.

363. H-Here's what's gonna happen.

364. And I want to be clear, I'm not threatening you.

365. Or you.

366. But the following is my best guess

367. of how the next 48 hours are likely to transpire.

368. The police and soon thereafter the FBI

369. will begin a statewide manhunt

370. using all of the methods at their disposal

371. and the combined resources of neighboring jurisdictions.

372. My company is a key job creator

373. and economic engine of the region. I am crucial.

374. Think of it like you've abducted the governor

375. but worse.

376. That's the level of bureaucratic urgency

377. you're contending with here.

378. In all humility, I can say that.

379. I'm also a high-profile female corporate executive.

380. Does that add a certain,

381. you know, politicized optics to this?

382. I would say absolutely.

383. I would say that's a tremendous factor

384. for you to consider here.

385. Now, I don't make the rules, and I don't enforce anything,

386. and I am not in charge of the situation in this room.

387. You are. But,

388. you are not in charge of what is happening out there,

389. and what is happening out there is a rapid cross-coordination

390. of law enforcement and digital media,

391. which is all leading quite inevitably to your imprisonment.

392. And very likely worse.

393. If I can be frank.

394. I-I'm not privy to what their methods might be

395. under extreme duress, or yours for that matter,

396. but I can assure you that there is no possible scenario

397. where you benefit from this incident,

398. unless you cooperate with me right now

399. and negotiate a deal that's fair and advantageous to us both.

400. Okay.

401. Wow.

402. That was really good. That was really good.

403. My pulse is racing right now.

404. Um...

405. Fuck.

406. You got a real human response out of me there,

407. which is impressive given your cellular composition and all.

408. - It-It's the truth. - Well, no, it's not the truth.

409. Nothing you say is true.

410. Objective human truth has no value in Andromedan cognition.

411. L-Let's just unpack the problem here.

412. "Unpack"? Wow, heady shit.

413. Sure, let's unpack the old fact bag, shall we?

414. You are a high-ranking official in the royal Andromedan court,

415. and you've aided your species in the techno-enslavement

416. and the agro-corporate disintegration

417. of planet Earth, okay?

418. And we need you to bring us to your mother ship

419. on the night of the lunar eclipse

420. to broker a sit-down with your royal superiors.

421. How's that? Fucking unpacked enough for ya?

422. I hear where you're coming from.

423. I do.

424. And I respectfully disagree.

425. On which part?

426. - Primarily, I'm not an alien. - You are.

427. I've done thermal imaging on your face.

428. There's Andromedan code all over your Instagram.

429. You're barely even hiding it.

430. I mean, look at you.

431. I'm supposed to believe you're a 45-year-old woman?

432. Human woman?

433. I mean, I follow a very strict

434. reverse-aging diet and therapy program.

435. It's very expensive, as you can imagine, but I'm not an alien.

436. Well, there's really no time for this.

437. - You are. - I'm not.

438. All right, then.

439. We're going to give you the night...

440. to give your statement.

441. My statement?

442. That you will give to your emperor...

443. Uh-huh.

444. to grant us passage to your ship

445. and negotiate your species' withdrawal from planet Earth.

446. Right. C-Could we have a dialogue about this, please?

447. Because what you're asking me to do is not quite clear to me.

448. I think it is.

449. And I want you to know...

450. this is really difficult for me as well.

451. You killed my family.

452. You killed my community. You killed my coworkers.

453. You killed the bees.

454. So, given that,

455. you should really appreciate how super professional

456. I'm being right now by not gutting you.

457. So, your sustenance and waste disposal

458. will be attended to in the morning.

459. Uh, I haven't gathered adequate data

460. on what type of sleep you require, if any,

461. but you should try and get some, okay?

462. I'm very sorry.

463. I think that we maybe got off on the wrong foot.

464. And I would love to keep the conversation going, please.

465. Excuse me, please?

466. Don. Don. Don, come on.

467. Come on, let's keep talking.

468. Please?

469. Please?

470. - Yeah. - Yeah.

471. Don, Don, Don, Don!

472. Hey.

473. We can't see it as a human woman, you know?

474. It's not a person named Michelle Fuller.

475. It's the Fuller Humanoid. That's all it is.

476. Even if it was human— and it's not—

477. it's still evil.

478. Pure corporate evil.

479. It's killing our planet, cuzzie.

480. It was the lead executive

481. on the neonicotinoid linked to honeybee death.

482. It only knows cruelty.

483. Is it an alien?

484. Yes.

485. It knows you're watching right now, too.

486. It's trying to gain your sympathy.

487. That shitty way that you feel right now,

488. that's how it wants you to feel.

489. It's mastered the art of emotional manipulation.

490. I'm sorry.

491. I-I promise I won't mess this up, Teddy.

492. Don't apologize, remember?

493. We just stick to the plan.

494. We have four days until the lunar eclipse,

495. when the Andromedan ship can return undetected. Yeah?

496. Yeah.

497. So, we need the Fuller Humanoid to help us make contact

498. so we can fight for our self-worth.

499. For our material existence, Don.

500. You know, I... wish I could fix everything

501. that's been done to you.

502. This is not about me, Don.

503. This is about everyone.

504. And one day very soon, you'll see.

505. And the world will see you as you truly are.

506. A hero.

507. That's why we stick to...

508. We stick to...

509. - the plan. - Plan.

510. - Uh... - See? You're listening.

511. Uh, yeah.

512. I don't even fucking know what's in it.

513. I just eat the poison they give me.

514. But I know...

515. they hide shit in there,

516. to program my cells...

517. my blood.

518. I see what their plan is, okay?

519. They sell me the sickness, then they sell me the cure,

520. and it's money on both sides

521. from the mind control,

522. um... industry, okay?

523. Get it?

524. But I'll do it for you.

525. You know, if it helps.

526. If it makes me not like me.

527. Like I am, you know?

528. Like, weak.

529. Your slob, cunt mom will do it for you, baby.

530. Just don't let them get you, too.

531. You can go faster.

532. - This isn't the spa. - Okay. Okay.

533. With scientific evidence

534. pointing to the potential of other life

535. even on our own planet that we can't comprehend yet,

536. and with unexplainable phenomenon

537. experienced by people daily in the skies,

538. in the oceans, and even in their own backyard,

539. I think it's kind of just a little uninformed

540. to not at least acknowledge the potential

541. that humankind may not be the only intelligent life

542. to ever exist throughout the galaxy.

543. other higher-intelligent beings somewhere.

544. I don't know if they're coming, like I said,

545. through the vibrations, coming through frequencies

546. into our world, or if they're coming through...

547. trillions and billions

548. of miles of space, which seems kind of ridiculous

549. when you think about it, but...

550. - There's a whole... - But what if it's...

551. what if it's both of those things?

552. What if it's not one or the other?

553. - It could be a mixture of everything. - Yeah.

554. Hey.

555. Saw you there. You all right?

556. Uh, yeah. I'm fine.

557. - How are you? - I'm good.

558. Off to work, then, or...?

559. Uh-huh.

560. I-I'm sorry, man. I know you're like, "This fucking guy," right?

561. No, no.

562. No, it's all right. It's just...

563. You know, we haven't had a chance to catch up in a while,

564. 'cause, you know...

565. all the shit, and, uh, yeah.

566. Just wanted to check up on you.

567. Casey, I'm good. What's up?

568. Nothing's up, man. I just...

569. I know I wasn't always the best babysitter back in the day, but, um...

570. I do want you to be okay.

571. You still up there with Don?

572. Yep.

573. Great. Well, uh...

574. I think about you sometimes.

575. Not... not in a weird way, just... Yeah.

576. I'm a different guy now— I've grown up—

577. so if you ever need help with anything, just...

578. I'm good.

579. I just gotta get to work, so...

580. Maybe I'll stop by sometime.

581. Yeah, I mean, I-I'm... I'm super busy right now.

582. - Crazy busy. - Right.

583. But, um, yeah, maybe sometime later.

584. Later, yeah. All right.

585. Cool. See ya.

586. Take it easy.

587. See ya, Teddy.

588. Some people say they're all demons.

589. A lot of people think they're higher-intelligent beings

590. from a different wavelength.

591. That's a possibility, too, I guess.

592. I-I don't know anything.

593. So I'm not saying, like, one way or the other.

594. I just, personally, I have my opinion,

595. and I think it's somehow all connected.

596. I think that

597. all of those things are each a small part of...

598. How you doing?

599. - What's up, man? - Morning.

600. I honestly start to believe

601. that we're all in, like, a simulation.

602. And I don't want to say it's like The Matrix, but...

603. What's wrong, Tina?

604. My frickin' hand is still killing me.

605. Christ. Did you file that shit with OSHA yet?

606. I looked into it, but I...

607. I don't think it's a violation.

608. Tina, their machinery cut you,

609. and you get punished for missing quotas?

610. That's a... that's a violation.

611. Fucking demons.

612. I just don't want any trouble.

613. Don't you worry. One day soon, it's all gonna change.

614. They're not gonna get away with this shit in the end, okay?

615. I promise you that.

616. On Monday afternoon,

617. following what coworkers describe as a routine workday,

618. Auxolith Biomedical CEO Michelle Fuller

619. got into her car, passed the security gate

620. at Auxolith headquarters in Fayette County, Georgia,

621. and drove towards home.

622. That was nearly 48 hours ago.

623. No one has heard from her since.

624. Authorities now believe there is a strong chance...

625. Hey.

626. Oh, yo. What up, Carlos?

627. I brought some fresh honey in for toast.

628. Oh, great.

629. - Thank you, Teddy. - Yeah.

630. A furious statewide manhunt is now underway,

631. with state police urging Fayette County locals

632. to come forward with any information at all.

633. Given Fuller's wealth and high profile,

634. state police are not ruling out the possibility

635. that Fuller is being held for ransom,

636. though, as of yet, there is no evidence

637. to suggest this might be the case.

638. The only clue authorities...

639. Hey, cuz. Did she eat?

640. No.

641. Bedpan?

642. No.

643. Maybe she's too scared to go?

644. No, she's not too scared to go.

645. It's trying to pity-trap our asses.

646. It's a ploy.

647. We're not gonna let it pity-trap us, are we?

648. No.

649. Just stay over there.

650. Okay, Teddy.

651. MICHELLE Um, I am an alien from outer space.

652. I live here on planet Earth, but I am not a human being.

653. My mother ship is coming to Earth,

654. and I would like to bring my new friend with me.

655. Thanks.

656. Uh-huh.

657. So...

658. this is a joke, then?

659. You're trying to simulate sapient humor, or...

660. That was the best I could do.

661. This is the best you could do? You didn't even say it in your own language.

662. Sorry, that was the best I could do.

663. No, it isn't.

664. What would you like me to say, then?

665. Well, I already did that.

666. Um, I would like you to request an audience

667. with your emperor to discuss the terms

668. of your species' withdrawal from Earth.

669. And I did that.

670. But convincingly.

671. - Well, that's gonna be difficult. - Why?

672. At the risk of repeating myself, I'm not an alien.

673. Teddy?

674. What?

675. I thought all night about our situation here,

676. and I think I know what's going on.

677. Okay. Yeah, please, enlighten me.

678. So, look, I feel qualified here

679. because I am a chemist by training, but I also have

680. - a psych degree. - Oh.

681. Okay. Wow. Great.

682. A degree from a university,

683. drom a credentialist scam for laundering privilege? Amazing.

684. Well, yeah, I do have a degree.

685. And I also have read a lot about this.

686. You can't talk your way out of this again.

687. I'm not a kid anymore.

688. I think you're in a kind of echo chamber.

689. - Echo chamber? Right now? - Mm-hmm.

690. Echo?

691. Yeah, I read the same 5,000 think pieces about that, too.

692. You're consuming content on the Internet

693. that is reinforcing this sort of warped,

694. subjective idea of reality.

695. This is your best shot at me?

696. Some "rabbit holes" bullshit you read in The Times?

697. Come on. Come on.

698. Can we have a dialogue, please?

699. Don't call it a dialogue.

700. This isn't Death of a Salesman.

701. Okay, can we talk, please?

702. Or are-are you just gonna keep doing this?

703. - We don't need to talk. - Yes, okay.

704. Because I know exactly what you're going to say.

705. You're going to say that I'm in some kind of

706. Internet-induced autohypnotic feedback loop,

707. and-and gatekeepers, and-and norms,

708. and all that weak hegemonic horseshit.

709. But that is precisely the limp-dick rhetoric that you've been instructed

710. to counter the human insurgency with.

711. That's the fucking hyper-normalized dialectic

712. by which you've convinced seven and a half billion people

713. that they're not your captives.

714. To keep us believing in these fucking false institutional,

715. fucking "shy-boleths."

716. You mean shibboleths.

717. That's what I said.

718. - You said... - Yeah, whatever.

719. Sorry. I guess grammar is a false Andromedan construct as well.

720. Hmm?

721. Fucking...

722. I'm sorry.

723. You're angry.

724. I see that.

725. I-I even think you have a right to be angry.

726. - You do? - Yes.

727. But we need to have an honest talk

728. in good faith about what is going on here.

729. Yes, you're right. Let's-let's-let's talk it out.

730. Let's create a safe space,

731. safe words, good faith, dialogue.

732. We need to talk about this, we need to talk about that,

733. and what we talk about when we talk about

734. fucking talk, talk, talk, talk,

735. talk, talk, talk, talk, talking forever

736. until we're all fucking dead.

737. Yeah, I agree.

738. So, what is this exactly that you want?

739. Like, what do you really want? Is it money?

740. Your capital has no value to us.

741. So, what is it then, a power thing?

742. A sex thing?

743. We have no interest in you sexually.

744. Irrespective of the fact that your reproductive organs

745. may not be compatible with ours,

746. my cousin and I have also been chemically castrated.

747. Oh, Jesus Christ. Okay.

748. But I figured you might try to lure us in that way,

749. hence the precaution. See, Don?

750. Don.

751. Teddy.

752. Come on.

753. We have options here.

754. - No. - We do.

755. There are no options.

756. There are no rules.

757. There are no deals.

758. There's no payoff.

759. There's no money.

760. There is no legal system.

761. There's no Congress.

762. There is no America.

763. There's no global democratic order, okay?

764. So don't talk to me like I'm a dipshit,

765. because I'm not a dipshit.

766. I'm a guy that knows what the fuck is happening,

767. and you will not defeat me, you sick Andromedan fuck!

768. Teddy, I'm sorry.

769. You need help.

770. You're mentally ill.

771. Everybody denies it at first...

772. and then they confess.

773. Fucking...

774. Fucking fuck! Fucking lie!

775. Fuck!

776. Fuck!

777. I didn't discover them on my own.

778. I stand on the shoulders of giants.

779. The PA-99-N2 microlensing event

780. proved that there was an exoplanet.

781. And Gideon55's YouTube studies into Andromedan infiltration

782. paved the way for my own research.

783. But I was the one who discovered

784. how to identify them, okay?

785. I created that content.

786. Obviously, I've never been on the ship before,

787. but I know enough to render it on my laptop.

788. The journey there will be instantaneous.

789. But once we're on board,

790. inside their chemical atmosphere,

791. they may be able to hear our thoughts,

792. so keep your mind clear and decisive

793. during the negotiations.

794. They will see that we are men of honor and dignity

795. and that Earth, with its vast resources and human ingenuity,

796. has much that we can offer.

797. So much more than this fucking worthless death spiral

798. into chaos and shit.

799. And if they won't listen to reason,

800. well, I have a plan for that, too.

801. What will our lives be like in space?

802. In space?

803. Aren't we going to live in space?

804. Well, bud, uh...

805. we'll only be gone for a few hours.

806. We're not leaving Earth for good.

807. We're saving it.

808. So we have to stay here?

809. Well, yeah. Of course.

810. But we're saving it,

811. so it'll be a good place to live again.

812. So, everything will be okay.

813. Yeah. I know.

814. Sorry.

815. It's okay, man.

816. Ever since those shots you gave me...

817. I've felt weird

818. and crazy

819. and sometimes sad.

820. Have you felt that way, too?

821. It'll pass. Don't worry.

822. Ah.

823. It'll pass.

824. Good morning.

825. You're out of breath.

826. Oh, yes.

827. You, um...

828. you make me nervous.

829. Um, so, I've been doing a lot of pondering,

830. and I think we should start over.

831. I want to help you.

832. And given that,

833. there is something that I should have said to you earlier

834. that I am finally prepared to say to you now

835. with conviction.

836. I am an alien.

837. I admit it.

838. You were right all along. I am an alien.

839. I mean, you can't blame me for trying to conceal it

840. for as long as I did. I...

841. Part of my mission here on Earth is to blend in and so forth, so...

842. Look, I'm very tired.

843. And I know that this doesn't...

844. sound as forceful

845. or the verisimilitude is not what you would want it to be, necessarily,

846. but I can assure you I mean what I say.

847. And I would like to move forward now to a solution.

848. I'm an alien.

849. You want to start over?

850. Yes.

851. Good.

852. Let's start over.

853. I was hoping we could agree on your genus

854. and avoid a painful test, but you forced my hand.

855. I-I admitted it.

856. Okay?

857. - I admitted it. - I'm sorry.

858. I'm a humane person. I-I do not want to do this.

859. I'm an alien.

860. I am an alien!

861. - I am... - I agree.

862. Uh, are you sure it works?

863. She already admitted it.

864. It killed our family, cuzzie.

865. Yeah, but...

866. this doesn't seem right.

867. Please stop. Please, please.

868. Don't. Don't.

869. Don't, don't, don't do this. Don't do this.

870. Okay, here comes the first wave.

871. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.

872. No, no, no...

873. Please don't.

874. Trust me, Don. Trust me.

875. Second wave.

876. Teddy, no!

877. You'll kill her, Teddy!

878. Can you stop?

879. Teddy, stop!

880. Donny, back up!

881. Sorry.

882. What the fuck?

883. DON That's enough!

884. What's wrong with you, man?

885. She could've died.

886. No. No, Don, you don't understand.

887. What?

888. It was off the charts.

889. The output, it's never reached that threshold before.

890. "Before"?

891. Could you get me a towel, please?

892. I wish to...

893. apologize profusely.

894. I did not realize...

895. Your Majesty.

896. - What? - I stupidly thought

897. you were admin.

898. I did not realize, at that voltage...

899. you have the royal genetic code.

900. I'm sorry.

901. I didn't know.

902. I didn't know.

903. The most important thing I want to stress to you right now

904. is I never want to put this behind us.

905. Never.

906. What happened is part of all of us now.

907. And it doesn't go away,

908. and it doesn't get swept under the rug,

909. and it doesn't get excused.

910. Not on my watch.

911. This one sticks. Forever.

912. I am putting this up

913. on the corporate masthead for all to see.

914. For everyone in our company and our industry to learn from.

915. That's why I'm meeting all of the victims' families this week.

916. To let them know we are going to do better.

917. Maybe we don't even try to market a product like this anymore.

918. Or maybe, maybe we take this experience to grow

919. and to get this formula right.

920. Because I really do think, if done correctly and safely,

921. this could be a product that could help someone like your mom.

922. But right now, we would like to do what's right

923. and cover the expenses for your mother's treatment

924. in hopes that her condition might one day improve.

925. We will not tolerate the idea of you or your family

926. bearing the financial burden of this.

927. We are covering all of it.

928. This one's on us.

929. And, again, we're just so sorry.

930. You'll have to excuse me.

931. It's my best attempt to approximate

932. the royal treatment to which you are accustomed.

933. Oh, it's great. Thank you.

934. There was a wig in the bathroom.

935. Did you want me to wear that?

936. No, no. It's just an option.

937. - I'm fine. - And I want to apologize

938. for not approaching you with proper courtesy.

939. Not realizing, of course, what you were.

940. That you shared blood with the emperor himself.

941. Oh, that's perfectly all right.

942. The truth is, we will never make progress here

943. if we can't speak eyeball to eyeball

944. as the most evolved examples of our respective species.

945. I agree.

946. - Good. - Excellent.

947. Well, on that note, enjoy.

948. It's a lovely home.

949. Thank you.

950. Mmm.

951. Just you here?

952. Yes.

953. Always?

954. Sorry?

955. Has it always just been you?

956. Um, well...

957. I'd prefer if we didn't delve too deeply into the personal, if you don't mind.

958. Mmm.

959. Sure, that's fine.

960. Thank you.

961. So, what...

962. Why don't you tell me more about your movement?

963. My what?

964. Your movement. What you're doing.

965. Respectfully, we are not a movement.

966. Oh.

967. A movement is made up of many people.

968. I did this all on my own.

969. Of course.

970. With the help of my colleague, of course.

971. Well, it's very impressive.

972. - Thank you. - I'm...

973. I'm all for people who can do that.

974. You know, the activism thing.

975. 99.9% of what's called activism

976. is really personal exhibitionism

977. and brand maintenance in disguise.

978. Mmm. Okay.

979. I used to be the same way.

980. I ran through the whole digestive tract in...

981. five years?

982. Alt-right, alt-lite, leftist, Marxist.

983. All those stupid badges.

984. I went shopping hungry, and I just bought the whole store.

985. Mmm.

986. But I was just looking in the wrong places.

987. Until I discovered you.

988. Well, again, it is very impressive.

989. Thank you.

990. You as well, Don.

991. - Um... - You'll...

992. You'll have to excuse my colleague.

993. He prefers not to converse.

994. Uh, can I go to the bathroom?

995. In just a minute, Don.

996. We're eating right now.

997. I see you're apiarists.

998. Of sorts.

999. I've taken an interest as well.

1000. Hmm. So I've heard.

1001. Magnificent creatures, honeybees.

1002. Very much so.

1003. Earth's most admirable creation.

1004. Well, shit, I've literally said those exact words before.

1005. Right, so, um, what is it that you admire about them?

1006. About bees? Uh...

1007. Complex society.

1008. Work ethic.

1009. They do their duty, they build their worlds

1010. without complaint or piety or self-obsession.

1011. Mm-hmm.

1012. All true.

1013. Which is why they're so easy to exploit, right?

1014. I just admire their resolve. That's all.

1015. Even in the face of peril.

1016. Well, we can agree on that.

1017. What sort of peril, by the way?

1018. Sorry?

1019. You said bees have faced peril.

1020. Such as?

1021. What do you want me to say?

1022. Well, just say it.

1023. - Why don't you say it? - Nah, you should just say it.

1024. You go ahead.

1025. No, I insist.

1026. No, please. After you.

1027. Colony collapse disorder.

1028. Sure, Teddy. Like CCD.

1029. You're a bit of an expert on CCD.

1030. Well, I... I wouldn't say that exactly.

1031. Well, I would say that exactly.

1032. It's all right. We're just talking.

1033. So, I take it you're referring to the neonicotinoids that my company makes.

1034. You know what? Let's just... let's just leave it.

1035. No, I-I appreciate your concern.

1036. I just think your research is a bit out of date, Teddy.

1037. Uh, CCD has declined significantly in recent years.

1038. The bees are coming back.

1039. And there's no consensus that pesticides were ever a real threat to begin with.

1040. Yes, I'm well aware of what you've all been telling us.

1041. Thank you.

1042. I know you want there to be a master plan, Teddy.

1043. You want the bees to be dying so that it can be my fault

1044. and you don't have to think about the real reasons why species die.

1045. Immunodeficiencies, changing habitats,

1046. genetic factors.

1047. Or sometimes a species just winds down.

1048. "Winds down"?

1049. Maybe something clicks in their heads

1050. and they just know or they intuit.

1051. The futility of the entire enterprise.

1052. Who knows, right?

1053. Right. Who knows?

1054. - That's right. - So hard to say.

1055. Who knows, Don?

1056. We were having a nice dinner.

1057. We were.

1058. Nice, quiet, respectful.

1059. But now we're not.

1060. No, we're not.

1061. And why do suppose that is?

1062. You tell me.

1063. Because you're lying to me.

1064. - Are you sure I can't use the bathr... - Shh!

1065. Your usual conclusion.

1066. You're murdering the bees.

1067. I am not.

1068. And now you're lying again.

1069. - Lies. - Lies.

1070. - Truth. - Lies.

1071. What's the difference?

1072. I can't change your mind.

1073. You're right, you can't.

1074. Because I know who you are.

1075. I know what you are.

1076. I know you, too, Teddy.

1077. Bullshit you do.

1078. I do.

1079. You know how I know?

1080. Fuck you.

1081. Sandy Gatz.

1082. What did you say?

1083. I remember, Teddy.

1084. That was your mother. Right?

1085. She is my mother.

1086. Right, yes. Of course.

1087. I'm sorry.

1088. And you will never say her name again.

1089. Understand?

1090. That's fair enough.

1091. But I do think we need to discuss...

1092. We actually do not because this is not about that.

1093. With all due respect, Teddy, how could this not be about that?

1094. We believed we were helping, Teddy.

1095. Don't you dare.

1096. Opioid withdrawal medication like that

1097. could've helped your mother

1098. - and millions like her. - Stop. Just stop.

1099. And the clinical trial pay, that was helping her, too.

1100. I know it wasn't a king's ransom, but it...

1101. Stop right now.

1102. Obviously, we did not foresee the complications

1103. for Sandy or for the others.

1104. Do not say her name.

1105. You do not say her name.

1106. We believed we paid your family a proper reparation,

1107. but now I see it wasn't nearly enough.

1108. - Stop! - Not by half,

1109. not by a fraction.

1110. - Stop! - Teddy...

1111. you're right to distrust me, you are.

1112. - I lost myself somewhere, okay? - Fuck you.

1113. - Shut the fuck up. - I...

1114. I became a human being

1115. that I told myself I would never become.

1116. - Fuck you! - I'm not denying that,

1117. but I can help you, Teddy.

1118. I can still help you.

1119. And I can still help your mother.

1120. I can help her.

1121. Truly, I can.

1122. I... I mean,

1123. can you?

1124. You needed a mother.

1125. She was never there for you.

1126. Fucking die, you fucker!

1127. Fucking kill you!

1128. I'll fucking kill you!

1129. Teddy, stop.

1130. Teddy, stop.

1131. Get off him!

1132. You can't beat me, because you are a loser

1133. and I am a winner.

1134. And that's fucking life.

1135. - Hey. - Hey.

1136. How annoying is this, right?

1137. - No, what's up? - Mmm.

1138. No, come on, dude. I know.

1139. It's like, "Why'd I even tell this guy he could stop by," right?

1140. It's fine, Casey. What's up?

1141. Um, sorry.

1142. I-I actually do have a real reason to be here, though.

1143. Uh-huh.

1144. Um, well, you know how we're all working

1145. this missing persons thing?

1146. Uh, yeah, I just had a couple questions to run by you, actually.

1147. Don't worry.

1148. Obviously, I just, um...

1149. Sorry, could I actually come in, maybe?

1150. Uh, yeah. No, sure. Come on in.

1151. Dude, thank you. I really appreciate that.

1152. We are not alone.

1153. Huh?

1154. Nothing. Just, you know,

1155. "We are not alone."

1156. Oh, right. Well, we're not.

1157. - Uh... - Right.

1158. You want some water or...

1159. That'd be great. Thank you.

1160. Gotta tell you, man, it's, uh,

1161. pretty weird being back in here.

1162. A lot of feelings.

1163. Yeah, well, same old shit.

1164. Hmm.

1165. Thank you.

1166. Scared the, uh, chair's gonna run away?

1167. What?

1168. Oh. No.

1169. My mom, she used to have fits or whatever,

1170. so we'd-we'd nail the chair down.

1171. Yeah.

1172. Uh-oh.

1173. What?

1174. My archnemesis.

1175. Ah.

1176. You want a piece of cake?

1177. I mean, if you insist.

1178. Yeah, I love this stuff.

1179. So, um, you had some questions or...?

1180. Oh. Uh, yeah, sorry.

1181. Um, you're still at Auxolith, right?

1182. Yeah.

1183. So you must know all about the Fuller case?

1184. I mean, I heard a little, yeah.

1185. On the news?

1186. I don't get the news from the news.

1187. Right. Um, of course. Sorry.

1188. I'm just here on a hunch, really.

1189. See, this missing lady, her phone

1190. pinged a cell tower in the area the night of the abduction.

1191. Thank you. Thank you very much.

1192. Oh.

1193. Well, those things have a pretty wide radius,

1194. - though, right? - Yeah, no, for sure.

1195. It's just that her car was also snapped by a speed trap

1196. near the intersection down the road over here.

1197. Oh, yeah?

1198. I know. I'm, uh...

1199. You know, long shot, right?

1200. But, I don't know, sparsely populated area.

1201. Figured I'd check in with the local residents.

1202. See if, uh, you or Don seen anything peculiar.

1203. Uh...

1204. No, no.

1205. Well, uh, hmm.

1206. Let's see here.

1207. For starters, have you seen...

1208. this car?

1209. Uh-uh.

1210. What about, uh, this woman?

1211. I mean, yeah, she-she owns my work, yeah.

1212. But I haven't seen her, no.

1213. You haven't seen her in person?

1214. No.

1215. I scan packages, so I wouldn't.

1216. No, no. Dude, I-I know. I'm-I'm sorry.

1217. Um, how about your neighbors?

1218. They say anything about, I don't know,

1219. any out-of-the-ordinary activity?

1220. Uh, I mean, I don't know them, really.

1221. Right. I-I'm sorry, man.

1222. Uh, I'm really grasping at straws here.

1223. Uh...

1224. Look, I mainly just wanted to check up on you, man.

1225. I know the last thing you want is for your fucked-up babysitter from 20 years ago

1226. stopping by, feeling guilty about, um...

1227. you know, whatever went down, uh, but...

1228. Sometimes I pass by this place,

1229. and I just get this fucking sad, awful feeling, like,

1230. "What's going on in there?"

1231. You know?

1232. Not much.

1233. Where is he?

1234. Don?

1235. Look at me, Don.

1236. Put the gun down.

1237. Look at me.

1238. I know you would never hurt me.

1239. Thank you, Don.

1240. You could've shot me earlier upstairs, but you didn't.

1241. How you behaved was honestly heroic.

1242. I don't use that word lightly.

1243. You have been the only thing stopping him

1244. from doing God knows what to me.

1245. I don't talk to you.

1246. That's how it is.

1247. So stay quiet.

1248. But you know this is crazy, right?

1249. You know this is wrong.

1250. I know you know that.

1251. Shut up.

1252. I'm just saying.

1253. There is a world, Don.

1254. There is a world where we help you

1255. and your cousin and your aunt,

1256. where reparations are paid and a page is turned.

1257. All of that can happen for you.

1258. No. You're...

1259. You're gonna get me and Teddy arrested.

1260. No, I wouldn't.

1261. And-and if you're right and Teddy gets arrested,

1262. it's... it'll all be different for you, Don.

1263. It will, if you let me go.

1264. Stop.

1265. I know what you're doing.

1266. All he does is drag you deeper and deeper into a pit.

1267. He never actually offers you a way out for you.

1268. I can do that for you, Don.

1269. I want to do that for you.

1270. I said, shut up!

1271. It's okay.

1272. I know you're confused and frustrated.

1273. No one in the universe could possibly blame you.

1274. Shut up.

1275. Put the gun down.

1276. Just talk to me.

1277. No.

1278. Sit down and talk to me. Put the gun down.

1279. Just shut up, alien filth.

1280. He ever show up again?

1281. Fucking asshole.

1282. Sorry. I know he's your dad and you probably love him.

1283. I literally wouldn't recognize him.

1284. Look, Teddy, um...

1285. I know it was a long time ago, what I did to you, man.

1286. It's fine.

1287. No. It wasn't fine.

1288. It-it was wrong, but I promise you,

1289. it's-it's not 'cause I liked it.

1290. It was just... you know, probably some weird power thing.

1291. I was... I was young and lost, and...

1292. I promise you, dude, I never, ever did that to anybody else.

1293. Just forget it. It's done.

1294. Seriously.

1295. - Really? - Mm-hmm.

1296. Hey, you should read this.

1297. This shit helped me a lot.

1298. Thank you, dude.

1299. Hey, you want to see my bees?

1300. Someone's up there, right?

1301. Shut up.

1302. Is it the police?

1303. I said, shut up.

1304. It is.

1305. And, Don, they're gonna arrest your cousin.

1306. But it is not too late for you.

1307. Please, stop.

1308. If you let me go right now,

1309. everything will work out for you.

1310. No, it won't.

1311. It will, Don.

1312. I promise.

1313. You don't understand.

1314. There's nothing left for me.

1315. Teddy is all I have.

1316. We'll find something else for you.

1317. You don't need him.

1318. Yes, I do.

1319. I love him.

1320. Sorry I couldn't help you find that lady.

1321. It's all right, man.

1322. I got it.

1323. Thanks.

1324. - Be gentle. - Yep, yep.

1325. There is so much else out there, Don.

1326. No, there's not.

1327. Not here.

1328. Then where?

1329. Where do you want to go, Don?

1330. We can go there.

1331. I'll take you there.

1332. If you are an alien, will you help me?

1333. Don, that's enough of that. Please.

1334. You know I'm not an alien.

1335. You know that.

1336. But if you are, would you take me with you?

1337. What?

1338. If all of this is true,

1339. and you have a sh— spaceship,

1340. would you take me away from here?

1341. Of course, Don.

1342. Yes, absolutely.

1343. I'll take you with me.

1344. We'll leave Earth.

1345. I promise that's what'll happen, okay?

1346. If you let me go.

1347. Thank you...

1348. but not without Teddy.

1349. Please, Don, we don't have much time.

1350. Th-They're gonna break in here at any minute,

1351. and then I won't be able to help you.

1352. Come on.

1353. Okay.

1354. I'm ready to leave.

1355. Okay.

1356. Can you do one thing for me?

1357. Tell Teddy that I'm sorry and that I love him.

1358. I will.

1359. The fuck?

1360. Jesus fucking Christ.

1361. Fuck.

1362. Don?

1363. Don!

1364. Jesus!

1365. Don.

1366. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

1367. I swear to you, he did it to himself.

1368. - He thought the police were coming... - Don. No, no, no

1369. and he panicked, and he just freaked out. Teddy, no. No.

1370. - What did you say to him? - Nothing.

1371. What fucking filth did you fill his sad brain with,

1372. you demon from hell?

1373. He was under extreme pressure, Teddy.

1374. - He cracked. - And you cracked him!

1375. You poisoned his heart with lies and bullshit

1376. until his whole fucking world collapsed, didn't you?

1377. You fed him a fucking fairy tale.

1378. He did all of this for you, you fucking maniac.

1379. Don't kill me, Teddy.

1380. I have a cure for your mother.

1381. - What? - There's a cure.

1382. You can save her.

1383. What are you saying?

1384. Inside of her,

1385. a big change is taking place.

1386. It's an entire rearranging

1387. of her genetic code.

1388. She was the first sample.

1389. It's a very important Andromedan experiment,

1390. and it takes four to five years.

1391. But if it succeeds, she will wake up.

1392. Well, what if it doesn't succeed?

1393. Then she'll die.

1394. But if we chemically terminate the experiment,

1395. she will wake up, she'll wake up.

1396. Well, how... how-how do we do that?

1397. - You have my car? - Yes.

1398. Okay. So, in my car,

1399. in the trunk, in the back, there is a bottle.

1400. It's a yellow jug, and it says "monoethylene glycol."

1401. Antifreeze. But forget the label.

1402. It's not antifreeze. It's the cure.

1403. I keep it in my car, in the trunk,

1404. in the antifreeze jug to hide it.

1405. For safety.

1406. If...

1407. if this experiment is so important,

1408. why would you allow me to cancel it? Huh?

1409. There are multiple experiments

1410. happening all over the world— your mother's one of dozens.

1411. Just trust me.

1412. I'm chained up here.

1413. I have no way of escaping. Why would I lie?

1414. That's for Don,

1415. you fucking virus.

1416. It's not antifreeze, Mom.

1417. Don't worry.

1418. Wake up, Mom. Wake up.

1419. Come on. Come on.

1420. Please, Mom. Please. Come on, come on. Wake up.

1421. Come on.

1422. Mom?

1423. Wake up.

1424. You can do it.

1425. Wake up.

1426. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

1427. 201, now!

1428. Hey! Hey!

1429. Hey!

1430. You fucking monster.

1431. How many were Andromedans?

1432. You-you... you lied to me.

1433. How many were Andromedans?

1434. - Two. - Two?

1435. You miserable fucking idiot.

1436. Do you know what you've done?

1437. You...

1438. - you killed her. - Quiet.

1439. And I'll tell you why it is I resemble a human.

1440. Our 75th emperor first discovered the Earth.

1441. This planet was ruled by dinosaurs,

1442. magnificent creatures with a complex but stable ecosystem.

1443. Oh.

1444. But we inadvertently spread a fatal virus to the planet.

1445. And the emperor was struck with guilt,

1446. watching all of Earth's creatures perish.

1447. So he gave new life to this planet.

1448. Life resembling us.

1449. The early test humans could barely stand,

1450. but soon they walked and began to reproduce.

1451. A civilization was born in harmony with nature.

1452. Atlantis.

1453. We were worshipped as gods.

1454. But some humans wished to surpass us,

1455. so they began creating their own new,

1456. lab-grown humans that were stronger.

1457. But the new humans were also more aggressive,

1458. so a conflict broke out

1459. that eventually resulted in a thermonuclear war.

1460. And in the war's wake, all of humanity was extinguished,

1461. save for a select few, who built an ark

1462. and traveled the oceans for a century.

1463. When it was finally safe to resurface on dry land,

1464. the leaders of the ark died,

1465. leaving behind only a few mutant specimens

1466. of degraded semi-humans.

1467. The apes.

1468. Evolution resumed but toward chaos.

1469. The newly evolved human beings, your current ancestors,

1470. fought amongst themselves in an endless cycle of war,

1471. genocide, ecological destruction.

1472. They brutalized Earth.

1473. They ruined her waters, ravaged her climate,

1474. poisoned themselves with drugs and technology.

1475. And even when presented with irrefutable evidence

1476. of their own self-destruction, the humans continued unabated.

1477. Even I myself became more human,

1478. more selfish and cruel,

1479. the longer I stayed here amongst your kind.

1480. But humans can't help the way they are.

1481. It's in your genes.

1482. The genes implanted by your ancestors

1483. to strengthen themselves.

1484. It gets reproduced in your bodies, and it grows stronger.

1485. We Andromedans are here to eliminate that suicidal gene.

1486. To save humanity.

1487. But also to save Earth from you and your kind.

1488. No.

1489. No, you came here to kill us.

1490. Y-You came to kill us.

1491. Well, that's wrong. That's wrong, Teddy.

1492. Some of us would have preferred

1493. to simply eliminate your species,

1494. but the emperor believed there was still hope,

1495. so the experiments.

1496. The experiments your mother was a part of.

1497. She was chosen because she was weak.

1498. Because she was broken.

1499. If we could correct her,

1500. perhaps all humans could be corrected.

1501. But you... you killed her!

1502. You killed her.

1503. I figured you'd be apprehended

1504. feeding antifreeze to a coma patient

1505. and then I'd be freed and could return to my work.

1506. But you actually got away with it, you sick ape.

1507. I'm not a sick ape.

1508. You are a sick ape.

1509. Listen, there are other test subjects

1510. who are showing progress, and we must show the emperor the truth.

1511. Tomorrow.

1512. During the lunar eclipse.

1513. Why?

1514. Teddy, listen, I know, I know. You may hate me,

1515. you may want me dead— I don't blame you—

1516. but I have the information you need to save Earth,

1517. and you know I do.

1518. You're a fucking demon.

1519. This is our destiny, Teddy Gatz.

1520. Yours and mine.

1521. And the hour is almost upon us.

1522. Yay.

1523. Jesus, Ms. Fuller?

1524. Hi, Ricky.

1525. How are you? I'm back.

1526. Could you buzz me in, please?

1527. Are you okay? Are you-you all right?

1528. Oh, I'm all right.

1529. Everything's been sorted out. Could you just... could you buzz me in, please?

1530. Thank you, Ricky.

1531. Park in your usual spot.

1532. Don't worry, Don.

1533. You're coming with me. I'm taking you with me.

1534. Hi, Tony.

1535. There you go. Have a good evening.

1536. Hello.

1537. Doors opening.

1538. Doors closing.

1539. Hi.

1540. Good to see you.

1541. It's good to be back.

1542. Hmm.

1543. Oh, it's-it's 5:35,

1544. so if any of you need to go home, just...

1545. you know, feel free.

1546. - Hi, Corey. - Michelle?

1547. Uh, we have some business to do, so, um, no disturbances.

1548. - Okay? - Okay?

1549. All right. Thank you.

1550. Okay, so, uh, he-he meets us here then? Or...

1551. Uh, we make remote contact with the emperor here,

1552. and then they beam us up.

1553. Beam us up?

1554. Or, you know, transport.

1555. Okay.

1556. Uh, it sometimes takes a couple of minutes

1557. to get the link working, so...

1558. Okay.

1559. Uh, and, uh, how exactly do we make the link?

1560. Uh, this will sound crazy, but, um,

1561. I-I punch in a code here,

1562. and then, um, it initiates a link with the ship.

1563. - On a calculator? - Yeah, I know.

1564. I know. It had to look banal.

1565. And human.

1566. And, you know, inconspicuous, so...

1567. It's a 58-digit code, and I have it memorized,

1568. but it's been a while since I had to...

1569. since I had to type it out, so...

1570. So, is this, is this really how it works?

1571. You know, it's better if we don't talk, actually.

1572. Just because I... Sorry.

1573. It's a... It's this memory, um, thing that I do,

1574. like a trick for...

1575. for remembering.

1576. Um...

1577. Um...

1578. Can they see through here?

1579. - Oh, no. - Can they...

1580. - Can they see in here? - No.

1581. Um...

1582. - Why is it so long? - It's...

1583. I have a few, um...

1584. Just shh-shh for a, for a second while I think.

1585. - Oh. Sorry. - Um...

1586. Yeah. Okay.

1587. That's...

1588. That's it. Um...

1589. I mean, I just have to press "enter," mainly.

1590. So, are you ready?

1591. Yes, I'm ready.

1592. Fuck, wait.

1593. My air tank.

1594. I'll need oxygen, and I don't have my air tank.

1595. Oh, there'll be oxygen, Teddy.

1596. Okay.

1597. What about Don?

1598. Oh, we'll send for Don.

1599. We may even be able to revive him.

1600. Right. So, it's happening. Shit.

1601. Um...

1602. No, I'm ready. I'm ready.

1603. Um...

1604. you should know that I've prepared for all eventualities.

1605. Okay. Prepared how?

1606. Oh.

1607. Oh, shit, Teddy.

1608. I can't take the chance of you just killing me straightaway.

1609. No. That was smart.

1610. That was very smart,

1611. and the emperor will admire your intelligence.

1612. You're a credit to your species, Teddy. Truly.

1613. Well, I'm just trying to help.

1614. I know, Teddy.

1615. Um, so this... this closet here is a teleporter.

1616. So you'll... you'll enter the closet,

1617. and then you'll close the door behind you.

1618. And then I'll-I'll count to three and press "enter."

1619. And we'll have to go one after the other

1620. so that our bodies don't reconstitute together

1621. during teleportation. You understand?

1622. Uh-huh.

1623. Yeah, I think so.

1624. So I just go in the closet?

1625. - I can go first. I... - No, no, no, no.

1626. I'll go first. I don't want you to escape

1627. and just leave me here.

1628. Okay.

1629. Ready?

1630. I'm ready.

1631. I'll see you up there.

1632. Three.

1633. Two.

1634. One.

1635. You're gonna be fine.

1636. Yeah, I-I know.

1637. I mean, obviously the shock of it all is...

1638. But you can get plenty of help for that kind of thing.

1639. So he's dead then?

1640. - Yeah, he passed away. - Okay.

1641. The bomb must have reacted to his body heat or friction.

1642. It happens a lot with homemade explosives.

1643. Right.

1644. - Ma'am, please don't take that off. - Look.

1645. Ma'am, I'm gonna need you to lie back down.

1646. - I'm fine. - You need to stay here.

1647. - Can you just stay still? - I'm good.

1648. - I'm good. I'm good. - Ma'am. Please. Hold on. Stop!

1649. Wait! Hold on!

1650. Stop.

1651. Hey, um, you're not...

1652. Sorry, you're not, uh...

1653. Oh, I just— I forgot something.

1654. Just really quickly. One second.

1655. - You're not allowed in there. - Just one sec.

1656. Don't touch that! Hey! Hey!

1657. Oh, my God. Jesus.