Bud Abbott and Lou Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)

1. Operator, haven't you been able to get me the express office

2. at Islamorada, Florida yet?

3. Yes, I know it takes time to call from London to the States.

4. But please hurry. It's terribly important!

5. Answer that phone.

6. Answer the bell!

7. Answer the phone!

8. Which do you want me to answer first'? Both of 'em.

9. Both of 'em. Both of 'em!

10. Hold the line, please. Thank you.

11. I'd like to have my grip, please. Yes, ma'am.

12. Let me see that. Well, they came in on the last train.

13. We haven't unloaded the truck yet. Go out and get the lady's grip.

14. Hurry up.

15. Excuse me... Excuse me, please.

16. Lady, here's your bag.

17. What are you trying to do, ruin the lady's baggage?

18. Where is it? This one.

19. There you are, Madam. I'm sorry. Thank you.

20. Now come on, clean this all up. Come on, straighten it out.

21. Wilbur, darling, are you all right?

22. Sandra, I hurt my poor little head.

23. Your head?

24. Oh no.

25. Does this hurt'? Uh-uh.

26. Does that hurt'? Uh-uh.

27. Thank heaven.

28. If anything happened to you, dearest, I'd never forgive myself.

29. That kiss made everything all better.

30. You worry about me an awful lot, don't you?

31. You mean an awful lot to me.

32. Tell me more.

33. I will. At dinner tonight.

34. Okay.

35. Come on, gel up out of there and go to work!

36. That is, if your head doesn't bother you too much.

37. His head is all right. It is, eh? But is your head all right?

38. Certainly. Frankly, I don't get it.

39. And frankly, you never will.

40. I can't understand that dame.

41. Of all the guys around here, that classy dish has to pick out a guy like you.

42. What's wrong with that? Go look at yourself in the mirror sometime.

43. Why should I hurt my own feelings?

44. Go answer the phone. Go ahead, I'll pick these up.

45. Baggage room.

46. London? Calling here?

47. This ain't collect, is it'?

48. Oh, all right. Put him on.

49. Hello? Do you have two crates addressed to the McDougal House of Horrors?

50. What's the number on the checks? Never mind that.

51. Tonight, the moon will be full here. I haven't much time.

52. Now, listen closely. I'm flying out of here at dawn.

53. Under no circumstances are you to deliver those crates until I arrive.

54. Understand? Under...

55. Mr. McDougal, will you stop gargling your throat?

56. Hey, you'll have to get your dog away from the phone.

57. I can't hear a word you're sayin'.

58. You're awful silly to call me all the way from London,

59. just to have your dog talk to me.

60. That's great conversation. The guy growls like a wolf.

61. The nerve of some people!

62. Well, what can I do for you, bub? I'm in a hurry.

63. I have two crates here addressed to my House of Horrors,

64. and I want immediate delivery. My name's McDougal.

65. McDougal? But, I just talked to you on the telephone from London.

66. How'd you get here so fast? They shoot you out of a cannon?

67. Are you crazy? I've been here all the time.

68. Now, get me those crates!

69. How long you been here? Five minutes.

70. What are you beefing about? I've been here five years,

71. you don't see me going around like that and yelling...

72. There's the insurance slip and there's the bill of lading.

73. Now get me those crates!

74. Look, will you please stop yellin'?

75. Come here. You know, it's impolite to raise your voice.

76. Oh, Chick!

77. Why didn't you give me these in the first place?

78. Chi... Chick, this man wants these crates.

79. Hmm. Insured for $20,000. We'd better look these up.

80. Must be valuable. I'll say they're valuable.

81. Wilbur? Yes, Sandra?

82. He's busy, he's busy. Please.

83. That little fellow's impossible. Hurry up with those crates!

84. Do you know what I've got in there, miss? Haven't the slightest idea.

85. Just the greatest attraction the House of Horrors ever had, that's all.

86. One of them's a coffin containing the remains of the original Count Dracula.

87. And the other's the body of the Frankenstein Monster.

88. Guess that combination's enough to scare the pants...

89. I mean, shirt right off your back, ain't it?

90. I don't scare easily. Neither do I, where money's concerned.

91. I got 'em dirt cheap. European agent picked my name right out of thin air.

92. Very interesting. Yeah.

93. Mr. McDougal.

94. Hey, Chick, here's one.

95. Darling... Yeah?

96. Darling, I have to run along. Somethings come up.

97. That means we'll have to break our date tonight.

98. It ain't another man, is it? Of course not.

99. Silly boy. Oh, yeah.

100. Boy, I'm floatin' on a cloud of love.

101. Listen, you little blimp,

102. I'll let the air out of you in a minute, if you don't give me a hand.

103. You understand that? Thank you.

104. Boy, is this kid lost.

105. Come here. Take that rope and get up on top that box,

106. and tie it to that handle up there.

107. Okay. Nothing matters no more.

108. I'm so happy. Go on, get up there!

109. Here it is.

110. Hold still now.

111. Oh!

112. Chick!

113. Stop him! Is he trying to ruin me?

114. Keep your shirt on. You're insured.

115. Yes, and if those exhibits are damaged, I intend to collect.

116. Well, there you are. Shall I wrap it up? No, you idiot.

117. You're gonna take those down to my House of Horrors and uncrate them.

118. Because if that's the way you handle baggage,

119. I'm going to have the insurance agent there to inspect them

120. before I accept delivery.

121. Well, then it's gonna cost you overtime because I'm a union man.

122. And I work only 16 hours a day.

123. A union man only works eight hours a day.

124. I belong to two unions!

125. Get those down to my place! All right.

126. Hey, Wilbur, here's a key. Open the door.

127. I'm not gonna like this. Come on, gimme a hand.

128. Come on, get it inside.

129. Well, pull it! You want me to do all the work?

130. Come on, help me with it, will ya?

131. Oh...

132. What's the matter now?

133. Somebody's got a knife in my back. Oh, nonsense!

134. Where's the switch? Here.

135. Sandra should see you now.

136. Turn around. Look what you're afraid of.

137. Turn around!

138. Come on, get up on your feet. It's only a dummy.

139. Dummy nothin'. It was smart enough to scare me.

140. Come on, get a hold of the box. Go ahead.

141. All right, come on, swing it around.

142. Well, help a little bit!

143. Oh, oh!

144. Come on, you fraidy-cat. These things can't harm ya.

145. They're made out of wax.

146. You know, people pay McDougal cash to come in here and get scared?

147. I'm cheatin' him. I'm gettin' scared for nothin'.

148. Go ahead and push, now. Don't knock anything over.

149. There we are. Now, we get the dolly out from underneath there.

150. Lift up that end. Lift it up!

151. Come on, come on.

152. There you are.

153. Well, put it down, put it down. Do I have to do all the work?

154. I'll get it down. Well, put it down.

155. Go ahead. Now, open it up.

156. I'm going out and get the other crate. And no back talk!

157. I've got just two words to say to you. What is that?

158. Hurry back.

159. Hello? Yes, Mr. McDougal.

160. Yeah, the crates are here. Wilbur's opening one right now.

161. Everything's all right.

162. Okay, Mr. McDougal. Goodbye.

163. Chick? Oh, Chick!

164. What's the matter? What's the matter?

165. Did you turn out the light? Certainly not.

166. They're out. So what'?

167. Maybe the lightning struck the power line or something.

168. I get in more messes around here...

169. Never mind, take off that canvas.

170. Take it off'? Take it off!

171. Hey, a coffin! Coffin.

172. The Dracula crest. Dracula's crest.

173. I wonder if Mr. McDougal expects people to think that Dracula's really in there.

174. No, don't. Please don't.

175. Oh, now come, come, come. Dracula was just a legendary character.

176. He never existed. No?

177. Certainly not.

178. Fold up this canvas. I'm going out and get the other crate.

179. If you want me, just holler. Holler, "Oh, Chick!" You understand?

180. Oh, Chick! What do you want?

181. What kepi you? I haven't left yet.

182. The next time, don't take so long.

183. Come on. Fold this up. Get busy.

184. Count Dracula sleeps in this coffin, but rises every night at sunset."

185. Chick is right. This is awful silly stuff.

186. "Dracula..." ..

187. Chick! Chick!

188. What's the matter now? You know that person you said that

189. there's no such person? Yes?

190. I think he's in there, in person.

191. I was reading this sign over here, this one down here, "Dracula's Legend."

192. All of a sudden I heard...

193. That's the wind. It should get oiled.

194. Listen, stop reading this thing.

195. That's a lot of phony baloney to fool McDougal's customers.

196. Now, fold up that canvas. Get busy. Come on.

197. "Dracula can change himself at will into a vampire bat,

198. "flying about the countryside."

199. Flying.

200. Waco...

201. Chick!

202. Chick!

203. Listen, you're making enough noise to wake up the dead!

204. I don't have to wake him up. He's up. I saw a hand.

205. You saw a hand? Where? Right over there.

206. Let me see it. Right over here.

207. Where is it'? I saw a hand there!

208. You don't know what you're talking about!

209. You're all excited reading this legend. Now, listen. Listen, Wilbur.

210. I know there's no such a person as Dracula.

211. You know there's no such a person as Dracula.

212. But does Dracula know it? Now, listen to me.

213. McDougal will be here any minute with the insurance agent.

214. Now get to work!

215. "He keeps himself alive by drinking the blood..."

216. Chick. Chick.

217. Chick.

218. Chick. Ch...

219. Chick!

220. Now, listen, this is getting to be ridiculous.

221. What? What?

222. Are you trying to tell me that candle moved?

223. Look, wait a minute. Candles can't move! This one did.

224. Yeah, there. Watch it. Keep your eye on it.

225. Is it moving? Huh?

226. It's not moving, is it? Not now.

227. Well, use your brains a little bit. Let's get this job finished.

228. "He keeps himself alive by drinking the blood of his victims."

229. "Count Dracula must return to his coffin before sunrise. He..."

230. Chick! Chick!

231. Oh, Chick! Chick!

232. Chick!

233. Oh, Chick, come on! Come on!

234. All right, I'm comin'.

235. Come on, will ya! Now, wait a minute. What's wrong now?

236. Oh, Chick!

237. You gonna tell me that candle moved again? Yeah, yeah.

238. I told you not to read this, didn't I'?

239. I can't help it. I can't help it. Oh, stop.

240. "Count Dracula must return to his coffin before sunrise,

241. "where he lies helpless during the day."

242. That's the bunk! That's what I'm trying to tell ya.

243. That's his bunk!

244. Come here.

245. Oh, don't, Chick. Come here. Come here! Come around here!

246. Come over here. Look in there.

247. Now, do you see anything?

248. No. Certainly not.

249. Come on, help me open that crate. Come on.

250. Come on, get with it, will you please?

251. Come on, get with it, will you please?

252. You can always...

253. "Frankenstein's Monster." Get a load of this here. Come here.

254. "A scientist named Frankenstein made a monster

255. "by sewing together parts of old, dead bodies."

256. Do you have to read that stuff'? Wait a minute.

257. "Frankenstein gave the monster eternal life by shooting it full of electricity.

258. "Some people claim it is not dead even now, just dormant."

259. Now, who'd be silly enough to believe that?

260. Who would be silly enough to believe that? Yeah.

261. Me.

262. Come on, open up that crate.

263. Chick, did you hear that?

264. Yeah, I heard you pulling the nails out, certainly. Go ahead.

265. Pulling the nails?

266. Chick? Oh, quiet.

267. I don't want to hear any more of your foolish questions.

268. Come on, open up the crate, will you?

269. There we are.

270. You've got it. Now get a hold of it.

271. Throw it right on the side.

272. That's it, fine. Now, come on, help me with this excelsior.

273. Come on, take it all out. Get it off him.

274. Wow! Look out! Chick, cover it up!

275. What's the matter? Wait a minute. Cover it up!

276. Cover the whole... What's the matter with you?

277. Stop that!

278. Now you did it.

279. Hey, what are you doing in there with the lights off?

280. Hey, McDougal! Now we're in trouble.

281. Hide that head. Hurry up! Hurry up!

282. Master.

283. Yes.

284. Come. Follow me.

285. Don't be afraid. He won't hurt you.

286. Come!

287. Hurry up. Come.

288. This better be a good one.

289. What's the matter, you afraid of the dark'? No.

290. Yeah, that's it. That's it.

291. What is this?

292. Hey, Wilbur, McDougal is here. I... What's the matter with you?

293. Come on, snap out of it.

294. Where are they? Where are my bodies?

295. What bodies? There were no bodies.

296. We opened both crates. I showed it to Wilbur. Look in there.

297. If they're not here, where are they? I don't know.

298. They must be stolen. My company inspected

299. the contents before they were shipped.

300. Then they must've been stolen en route.

301. You mean, you saw mam'? No, no, no.

302. Well, then where did they go? I don't know.

303. If they're gone, I want my insurance money. I'm sorry.

304. My company doesn't pay off until a full investigation.

305. Did you hear that? If you don't produce those bodies,

306. I'm going to call the police!

307. Police? Police!

308. I can do better than that. Police!

309. I'll get you. Police!

310. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Come on, go, get on.

311. Let's take it out.

312. Come!

313. Good evening, Dr. Mornay.

314. My dear Count, it's so good to see you again.

315. And you look more charming than when I saw you last.

316. Come in, Count Dracula. Thank you, Sandra.

317. But the name is Dr. Lejos.

318. I wouldn't want to frighten your technical assistant.

319. Professor Stevens?

320. Don't worry. He's completely engrossed in his work.

321. Besides, he should be out of here by tomorrow.

322. Excellent

323. Yes, except that he's asking too many questions.

324. I will take care of that. Is everything else arranged?

325. Yes. Where did you leave him? In the cold.

326. I'll get a wrap.

327. Nervous, my dear?

328. This is risky business.

329. Not as risky as those curious operations of yours,

330. that so intrigued the European police. Yet much more profitable.

331. Restore the monster for me, and you shall have anything you wish.

332. In that case, we better start as soon as possible.

333. It's dangerous to leave him in this weakened condition.

334. Have you mastered Dr. Frankenstein's notebook?

335. Let me get my hand on a scalpel again and you shall see.

336. And about the brain?

337. I don't want to repeat Frankenstein's mistake, and revive a vicious,

338. unmanageable brute.

339. This time the monster must have no will of his own.

340. No fiendish intellect to oppose his master.

341. There, my dear Count, I believe I have exceeded your fondest wishes.

342. The new brain I've chosen for the monster is so simple,

343. so pliable, he will obey you like a trained dog.

344. Good. How soon?

345. The day after tomorrow. Wilbur was taking me to a masquerade ball.

346. But I'm sure he'd prefer to spend a quiet evening at home.

347. Bring him through here.

348. I tell you, Chick, I saw what I saw when I saw it!

349. Keep quiet! You babbling about dead people walking away!

350. That's why we were arrested and thrown in jail.

351. Do you realize that we've spent a whole day and night in jail?

352. And we'd still be there if some dame hadn't've bailed us out.

353. Chick, now stop calling Sandra a dame!

354. And I'm tellin' ya, they were there.

355. Oh, stop. Two of 'em.

356. One of 'em was about eight foot tall.

357. Way up there! And he walked like this.

358. Just like that.

359. Now, that's the way he walked. Stop it.

360. You don't believe that? Certainly not!

361. Well, I saw it.

362. And the other one, he went like this.

363. And he kept gettin' closer and closer.

364. He had eyes that were balls of fire.

365. He kept staring, eye to eye.

366. Eye to eye! Staring!

367. I never saw anything like it in my life.

368. Believe me, Chick, when I tell you I was scared to death.

369. Really I was. I was really scared, Chick.

370. What's the matter? Chick?

371. What did I do?

372. Hey, Chick, I don't like you like that. Come on, be just like you used to be.

373. Go away with it! Attaboy! I'm happy.

374. That's just like you used to be.

375. All right. Now, stop this nonsense! All of it.

376. You're Wilbur Grey? Yes, sir.

377. Then you must be Chick Young. So what?

378. I'm Lawrence Talbot. I've been looking all over town for you.

379. You didn't have to look far. We were in jail. Yes, I know.

380. You see, I'm the one who telephoned you not to deliver those bodies.

381. I knew they were alive!

382. There you are, so you thought I was imagining things, huh?

383. When I told you about the fellow that was eight-foot tall,

384. and walking like this with the stiff legs, and then the other fellow with this here.

385. Wait! Wait a minute. You're crazy, and so is this screwball!

386. Look, bub, I have my own troubles. Worse than you think.

387. I followed Dracula all the way from Europe,

388. because I believe that he's going to try and revive the Frankenstein monster.

389. We must find him and destroy him before he can do this!

390. Wait a minute, why don't you go down to the police,

391. tell them you know the story about Dracula and the Monster.

392. They'd be very interested. I can't do that.

393. Because then I'd have to tell them who I am and...

394. Why I know what I know.

395. Soon... Soon the moon will rise.

396. I haven't time to explain.

397. I've taken the room across the hall. Here's the key. Lock me in!

398. Lock you in? Yes, please. Hurry!

399. It's silly, but I'll do it.

400. He's scared too.

401. Remember, no matter what you hear or what happens,

402. don't let me out!

403. Lock me in." That guy is screwier than you are.

404. He is not. He's a nice man.

405. He's just worried about the police getting him because he knows they're alive.

406. I'm going to bed. Well...

407. Hey, he forgot his bag.

408. Mr. Talbot, you forgot your grip.

409. Mr. Talbot?

410. Mr. Talbot?

411. Mr. Talbot?

412. Now, how'd he get out of here?

413. Hmm.

414. I'll leave him a note.

415. "I left your bag in the bedroom.

416. "Wilbur."

417. I wonder if he counted these.

418. He might've.

419. Maybe he didn't

420. Hmm.

421. A fine insurance company I'm doing business with,

422. outsmarted by a couple of morons!

423. Those two crooks got out of jail. On bail!

424. We know that, Mr. McDougal, but you see we...

425. In fact, I arranged it. You? Who are you?

426. This is Miss Raymond, an investigator from the home office.

427. It's my job, Mr. McDougal, to find those missing exhibits.

428. I'm quite sure I can persuade the chubby little fellow to lead me right to them.

429. Naturally, I couldn't persuade him very well in jail.

430. Wilbur, please! I've had nightmares all night long!

431. I don't want to hear any more about dead bodies.

432. I saw what I saw when I saw it.

433. All right.

434. Boy, am I glad to see you. Will you go over and talk to that guy?

435. Sandra! Wilbur darling, I heard what happened.

436. That's awful. They can't put my little Wilbur in jail.

437. They can't, but they did.

438. Sandra, I wanna thank you for bailing us out.

439. I? I only learned about it this morning.

440. Well, didn't the policeman tell you that a lady bailed us out?

441. He did.

442. Wilbur, pet' you haven't been untrue to your Sandra'?

443. Sandra, how can you look me in the face and say that?

444. How can you look him in the face, period?

445. I only came by to remind you about the masquerade ball tonight.

446. I was just getting ready to pick up my costume.

447. Come by for me early, dearest. About sunset.

448. Alone. Goodbye.

449. What I'd like to know is, what has he got that I haven't got?

450. A brain.

451. Brain. I'd like to know where it is.

452. (KNOCK ON DOOR} Oh. She forgot to kiss me goodbye.

453. Now, who is this? She's... She's... She's beautiful.

454. I'm Joan Raymond. She's Joan Raymond.

455. I'm the girl who arranged your release from jail.

456. Well, why should you want to spring us?

457. Do you believe in love at first sight?

458. Well! As long as you put it that way, I...

459. That's what happened to me.

460. Wilbur, darling!

461. Miss Raymond, when did this mad feeling first come over you?

462. The instant I saw you in the baggage room.

463. I knew then that I wanted to spend every single minute that I'm in town with you.

464. You did?

465. What are we doing tonight?

466. He's going to a masquerade ball.

467. But I'm not doing anything.

468. In that case, you'll be awfully lonesome. Well, naturally...

469. Wilbur darling, I haven't been to a masquerade ball in ages.

470. I was just hoping you'd ask me.

471. Wilbur! Come here.

472. Miss Raymond' will you excuse me?

473. Oh, you irresistible boy!

474. Do you want me? Yes, I want you. Come over here.

475. I just wanted to get a good look at you in the light.

476. I still don't get it. Jealous?

477. Wilbur, I'll have to go out and get a costume.

478. That's funny. I was just going, too.

479. I'll go down to my room and pick up a couple things and meet you in the lobby.

480. All right. In the lobby.

481. I'll get my hat and coat. I'll be right with you.

482. Excuse me. Look.

483. Now you've got two dates. What about Sandra, you bigamist?

484. Sandra? I don't know. Joan is awful cute.

485. All right, you take Joan, I'll take Sandra. Oh, Sandra sends me-

486. Well, then I'll take Joan. Joan sends me too.

487. Now, listen, you sawed-off Romeo,

488. in a minute, I'll send you!

489. You don't even appeal to me.

490. Look, Wilbur, we've always been pals, haven't we?

491. Oh, yes. We've always shared,

492. and shared alike, haven't we?

493. Well, now, look, let's be reasonable. Come on.

494. I've always shared with you. That you have!

495. If I had two cigarettes, I'd give you one. That's right.

496. And if I had two pair of shoes, I'd give you a pair.

497. Don't I know that? And if I have two girls...

498. Well?

499. Why don't you light that cigarette, put on those shoes and take a walk for yourself?

500. That's what I'm going to do, but with you.

501. This key don't fit. This is... Talbot's key.

502. Hey, we forgot about him.

503. Boy, what a bender he must've been on last night!

504. Hey, Mr. Talbot. Mr. Talbot!

505. And I thought you were such a nice man, too. Look at yourself.

506. You're a mess! Last night...

507. I went through another of my horrible experiences.

508. Years ago I was bitten by a werewolf.

509. Ever since, when the full moon rises,

510. I turn into a wolf myself.

511. Oh, pal, that's all right.

512. I'm sort of a wolf myself. And here I thought...

513. I thought that you were the only one that would believe me,

514. that you were the one that knew that I spoke the truth.

515. You have seen the living dead. Mm-hmm.

516. I came all the way from Europe,

517. because Dracula and the Monster must be destroyed.

518. Together we must find them!

519. Oh no, now, wait a minute. Let's not start that all over again.

520. I can't go. I've got a date. In fact, I've got two dates.

521. But you and I have a date with destiny.

522. Let Chick go with destiny.

523. Won't you please?

524. You two kids stay here. I'm going up and get Sandra.

525. She's mine too.

526. Pardon me just a minute. Wilbur!

527. Now, look, you've got Joan and Sandra.

528. You've got two girls! How about the two girls we had last week?

529. Let's not talk about that.

530. You got no kick comin'. I'm not kicking.

531. You had the best lookin' one. So what?

532. You rs had teeth. Look, Wilbur, yours had teeth too.

533. Did you see that tooth? Yes, I happened to see it.

534. Mine had so much bridgework, every time I kissed her I had to pay toll.

535. What's the use?

536. Wilbur, can't we both go along, too?

537. Yes, mon amour. That's Spanish. That's French.

538. How do you like that? I speak French too. Oh, you cute little devil!

539. Stop that.

540. Come on, lead the way. Come on.

541. Hello. Hello.

542. Is Sandra in? Who?

543. Sandra. You mean, Dr. Mornay?

544. Well, if that's what she is, I'm just what the doctor ordered.

545. Come in. Thank you.

546. I thought this Sandra was your date.

547. Or did we both come along for the ride? No, no.

548. Perhaps I should introduce myself. I'm Professor Stevens.

549. This is Miss Raymond, This is Wilbur Grey, and I'm Chick Young.

550. How do you do, Miss Raymond? How do you do?

551. I have work to finish, but it shouldn't take more than a few minutes.

552. If you'll wait in the library, I'll be right down.

553. Just to keep the records clear. We're here to pick up Sandra.

554. Of course. I'm sure she's around somewhere.

555. Wilbur!

556. Sandra, hello.

557. That girl, who is she?

558. She's Chick's date. She's going to the masquerade with us.

559. But I told you to come here alone. We'll have to get rid of them.

560. I'll have to get rid of somebody.

561. Hello, Sandra. Hello, Chick.

562. Joan, this is Sandra. Sandra, Joan.

563. Nice place you have here, Doctor. Who told you I was a doctor?

564. Why, the young man who answered the door.

565. Oh, Professor Stevens.

566. I'm on a vacation, you see, and traveling incognito.

567. What are you doing here? Same thing.

568. Shall we get going? Just as soon as I put on my costume.

569. Would you like to powder your nose? I'd love to.

570. I'll be right back, Wilbur.

571. I'll be right back, too, Wilbur.

572. Toodle-oo!

573. Chick, there's a time in everyone's life when they get in trouble.

574. I'm in a mess of it right now. Now, what's wrong?

575. I've got two girls. You know the old saying?

576. "Everything comes in threes."

577. Now, suppose a third girl should fall in love with you?

578. What's her name? We'll say her name is Mary.

579. Is she pretty? Beautiful.

580. Naturally, she'd have to be.

581. Now you have Mary, you have Joan and you have Sandra.

582. So, to prove to you that I'm your pal, your bosom friend,

583. I'll take one of the girls off your hands.

584. Chick, you're what I call a real pal. It's all right.

585. You take Mary.

586. We better answer that phone. They're all upstairs.

587. Hello. Hello?

588. Is Dr. Lejos there?

589. Just a minute. Somebody wants to know about a Dr. Lejos.

590. I don't know him.

591. Hello? Who is this speaking? This is Wilbur Grey.

592. I thought I recognized your voice.

593. This is Talbot speaking.

594. Listen. I just got a line on Dracula and the Monster.

595. A certain Dr. Lejos has been receiving a lot of electrical equipment,

596. just the type necessary to revive the Monster.

597. So what? I'm way out on an island.

598. I've got my own problems. Yes, but listen.

599. I believe you're in the house of Dracula right now.

600. You can find the Monster, and I'll...

601. Hello?

602. Wilbur!

603. Come here!

604. Chick, you don't know what you're doin', son!

605. What's the matter with you? Quiet. Come here.

606. You didn't hang up the phone. Let him hang up the phone.

607. Who? Dracula.

608. Dracula and the Monster live here.

609. Wait a minute. Don't start that again. Who told you that?

610. Talbot. He also said that we got to search the place.

611. Come here.

612. Come over here.

613. Now, listen, Talbot, enough is enough. Now, Wilbur's scared to.-.

614. Hello? Hello'? He's gone. So am I.

615. No, you don't. Come here. I'm gonna settle this thing once and for all.

616. We'll search this place. Look, Chick, it's a little past sunset,

617. and if Dracula is here, he's gonna be wanting breakfast.

618. And I'm fatter than you, and it ain't gonna be me!

619. Now, just a minute. Just a minute. It ain't gonna be me!

620. Wait a minute, I'm gonna prove just how crazy both you and Talbot really are.

621. We'll search this place, right from the basement.

622. Look, Chick. What?

623. We'll search it. That's more...

624. You and I together. Now we're talkin'.

625. Attaboy. You search the basement, I'll search outside.

626. Oh, no, you don't! All right, then,

627. I'll search on outside, and you search the basement.

628. That's different.

629. It worked! Come on!

630. Now, let's look around here.

631. There's some doors down there.

632. You think we oughta tell Sandra where we're goin'?

633. Certainly not.

634. You look over there.

635. Well? Broom closet.

636. What?

637. Broom closet? Look out.

638. Come on.

639. Broom closet?

640. Come on! Wait for me.

641. Come on.

642. Oh!

643. Chick! Open!

644. Whoa!

645. Chick! Come on. Chick!

646. Chick! You search down there and on the inside. Shh.

647. Stop! It's the truth. Come here.

648. All I did was like this.

649. Now, Chick, I tell you, right over there.

650. Where are they? Where are they?

651. They're in there. They're in there. Now, listen.

652. Wait a minute. I'm gonna look around. You go ahead.

653. If I don't find anybody, I'm gonna beat your ears off.

654. I'm telling you, Chick. Honest. Well, wait here.

655. They're over there. Oh, no. I ain't goin' near that place anymore.

656. Whoa! Ooh!

657. Open sesame! Open sesame!

658. Well, where are they? They must be in there.

659. Oh, stop. Now, listen Wilbur, I'm getting sick and tired of this silly nonsense of yours.

660. - Some guy going around... - No, no.

661. Another guy goin'... No, no!

662. The one guy goes... The big...

663. And the other guy, not like that, like this.

664. Yeah. All right, all right, all right. Put your hands down.

665. Come on, the girls are waiting for us upstairs. Come on.

666. Have you known Wilbur long? Yes, we're old friends.

667. Will you belong? Just a few minutes.

668. Miss Raymond? Yes?

669. I'm ready. Shall we go?

670. Of course.

671. Here's your purse, dear. Thank you.

672. Who screamed? You did!

673. I did?

674. Now, listen, Wilbur, if you don't stop imagining these crazy things,

675. I'll take you to a doctor to have you examined.

676. But I'm telling you, I saw them. And when I see what I see, I saw it. That's all.

677. Because Mr. Talbot, same way, he saw it too.

678. Talbot! He's crazy. You're both crazy!

679. Sandra.

680. Sandra, I've just gotta tell you. I was downstairs in the basement.

681. Basement? And what were you doing down there?

682. I opened the door. He opened the door'

683. and fell down the stairs.

684. Fibber. How careless!

685. You should be careful! A person can get killed that way!

686. I hope you weren't disturbed, Dr. Lejos.

687. It's perfectly all right, my dear. Introduce me.

688. This is Miss Raymond. Mr. Young.

689. And this is Wilbur.

690. Ah, Wilbur! Why!

691. I heard so much about you, I feel as if we have already met.

692. And I must say, my dear, I approve very highly of your choice.

693. What we need today is young blood.

694. And brains!

695. Oh, don't be bashful. Come.

696. Hello, Dr. Lejos. I've been looking for you all clay.

697. You know, every time I ask Dr. Mornay what that equipment is going to be used for,

698. she says to ask you.

699. Of course.

700. Didn't I hear that you were going to masquerade ball?

701. Yes, we have our costumes out in the boat. Oh, you young people!

702. Making the most of life, while ii lasts.

703. Thank you.

704. Professor, you've worked hard and well.

705. Why don't you join them, and save your questions until tomorrow?

706. Under ordinary circumstances I'd say no, but... If you don't mind?

707. Not at all. Good. I'll get my coal.

708. Of course that would make too many for one boat.

709. But if the professor and this lady and gentleman go on ahead, sure.

710. Wilbur and Dr. Mornay can... I'm afraid I can't.

711. What's the matter?

712. I've suddenly developed a splitting headache.

713. I'm sorry, Wilbur, but you'll have to go without me.

714. Nonsense! It will pass as quickly as it came.

715. It's no use, Doctor. I shall have to go directly to bed.

716. Pardon me. Well, Chick, there goes your date.

717. Now then, what was that all about?

718. This thing is too dangerous. The girl is an insurance investigator.

719. Stevens is asking too many questions.

720. And Wilbur was up to something in the basement.

721. I think we ought to wait.

722. And jeopardize the success of the operation? Never!

723. I must warn you, my dear Sandra,

724. I am accustomed to having my orders obeyed,

725. especially by women with a price on their heads.

726. Don't try to scare me, Count Dracula.

727. Hem. The Secrets m' Lite and Death by Dr. Frankenstein.

728. Memorize them. Operate yourself, if you're in such a hurry.

729. I have other ways of securing your cooperation.

730. You're wasting your time. My will is as strong as yours.

731. Are you sure?

732. Look into my eyes.

733. Look!

734. Deepen

735. Tell me what you see.

736. Joan, Chick and I are gonna go into the lockers and change into our costumes.

737. Come on, Professor. We'll meet you on the dance floor.

738. Okay.

739. What did I do? What do you mean?

740. He's dancing with my girl! So what?

741. I'll show her!

742. I'm in love...

743. Okay. Come on. Pick up those bundles!

744. Let's get dressed. Come on.

745. So, it's you! Ah, he knows me!

746. McDougal! Listen, fat boy, where are my exhibits?

747. Now, you leave him alone!

748. Not until he tells me where those exhibits are.

749. Where are they? Where are they?

750. McDougal, now we've got it on you.

751. You put us in jail. Now, we'll have you arrested for assault and battery.

752. Go ahead and see what good it'll do ya. You haven't got a witness.

753. I'm a witness! My word's as good as yours!

754. Your word is better than his. You keep outta this.

755. I'll get a witness. Do me a favor, will you, fella?

756. Will you watch this? I need a witness.

757. Go ahead. I'd like to see you do it again.

758. Did you see it?

759. I'm sorry. I couldn't see a thing.

760. Thank you.

761. Have you seen Chick Young or Wilbur Grey?

762. Seen them? I don't even know them.

763. I've got to know what they found on that island.

764. Chick! Wilbur! What did you find?

765. Was I right? No.

766. And I wish you'd stop trying to put those ideas in this boy's head.

767. He's not used to them. Go put your things on, Wilbur.

768. Did you meet Dr. Lejos? Yes.

769. What did he look like? Tall, aristocratic, a faraway look in his eye?

770. All I know is he told us to go out and have some fun.

771. Why don't you?

772. Can't I convince you that Dracula is a very dangerous person?

773. You and Wilbur are just trying to scare me. Well, it won't work!

774. I scared ya.

775. I scared ya, you big sissy.

776. This is your mask over there. Mine?

777. Oh, no, no. Please don't wear that. What's the matter?

778. I know you'll think I'm crazy, but...

779. In a half an hour the moon will rise and I'll turn into a wolf.

780. You and 20 million other guys. Listen!

781. I might tear you limb from limb!

782. Is that serious? He'll murder ya!

783. That's serious.

784. It won't be if you'll just take me and lock me in my room.

785. Please. Oh, all right.

786. Why don't you hire yourself a keeper?

787. Come on.

788. Hey!

789. Look. Oh, Sandra's coming.

790. Is it all clear? I will take care of the girl.

791. And you'll take Wilbur back to the castle.

792. Understand? Yes, Master.

793. Sandra, you look...

794. So... We meet again, Count Dracula.

795. Dracula? Yes. That's who he says you are.

796. Oh, my costume perhaps. No, Talbot here thinks you're the real thing.

797. Uh-huh. Right out of McDougal's House of Horrors.

798. What an odd hallucination.

799. But the human mind is often inflamed with strange complexes.

800. I suggest you consult your physician, Mr. Talbot.

801. And take him along with you, please.

802. Well, so there you are!

803. I'm glad to see you've recovered.

804. I didn't expect to see you here, Doctor. Sandra insisted I come.

805. Besides, I need a little relaxation.

806. Miss Raymond, would you honor me with a dance?

807. No. No!

808. I warn you. He is Count Dracula!

809. How interesting. Tell me more.

810. No, let me tell you... While we dance.

811. Pardon me, Mr. Talbot.

812. Sandra, do you feel all right'? Of course.

813. But I must obey my doctor's orders.

814. Oh, sure! You gotta do what the doctor tells ya.

815. I intend to. Let's have a walk, Wilbur.

816. Toodle-oo.

817. Professor, do you understand women?

818. I don't even m'. I'm gonna get me a drink.

819. Sit here.

820. Sandra, there's something strange about ya. You're not yourself.

821. Is there anything I can do to help'?

822. I want you to go away with me to the island.

823. Just me and you'? Yes.

824. I want to be the only one in your life. I want to be part of you.

825. I want to be in your blood.

826. I think I know what you mean.

827. Wouldn't you want a prettier fellow than me? No. I want no one but you.

828. You are so full-blooded, so round, so firm.

829. So fully packed. And I want to stay that way.

830. Stuck myself. I'm bleedin'.

831. Let me see it. Uh-uh.

832. There ain't enough there for the two of us, if that's what you're thinking.

833. I'll tell you what I'm thinking. Look into my eyes.

834. I'm afraid to. There's nothing to be afraid of.

835. Look. Deeper.

836. Deeper!

837. Deepen

838. I looked deep enough. I don't wanna look anymore.

839. Of course you do.

840. Don't you know what's going to happen now?

841. I'll bite. Oh, no... I will!

842. Wilbur! Joan! Wilbur!

843. Joan? There he is.

844. Wilbur, have you seen Joan?

845. No, bull have definitely made up my mind.

846. You can have Sandra, but make sure you've got plenty of bandages.

847. Maybe Dracula lured Joan into the woods and...

848. Chick, do "you know what could happen if I meet Dracula in the woods?

849. I'll bite. Oh, no. You gotta stand in line.

850. Let's not waste anytime. Yeah, let's.

851. Joan? Joan?

852. Joan! Chick, we can't find her.

853. Now, let's keep on looking. Come on. Joan!

854. Joan?

855. Chick, we're never gonna find her.

856. Joan!

857. WILBUR; Joan?

858. Joan?

859. Joan?

860. Joan!

861. Joan!

862. Chick? Chick?

863. Where did he go? Chick!

864. I'm gettin' tired of lookin' for Joan.

865. Look at him.

866. Didn't Mr. Talbot tell you not to put that mask on anymore?

867. Now, what'd you put it on for?

868. Now, take the mask off! Come on!

869. Joan?

870. Hey, Chick, now, what are you lookin' in there for?

871. You know you're not gonna find Joan there.

872. Now, come on, get up! Get up! We gotta find Joan.

873. Come on, Chick. Now, take that mask off!

874. Take it easy. I'm your friend!

875. Help! Help!

876. Help!

877. The man's been hurt. Looks like something attacked him.

878. Get a doctor.

879. You'll be all right, though another half inch would have severed

880. your jugular vein.

881. Get him up.

882. Who did it? It was somebody in a wolf's mask.

883. McDougal, what happened to you?

884. You! It was you! He said he was gonna get me.

885. Me? That's right.

886. I saw him arguing with you earlier this evening.

887. That's ridiculous. Why, I wouldn't...

888. People, real live people. That's a boy. Tell 'em.

889. You, Chick. What's the matter?

890. What's the idea of trying to take a bite out of me?

891. What was the idea? Now, you.

892. What, did he take a bite out of you too?

893. What's the matter with you, Chick?

894. You gone mad or something? Wilbur!

895. Don't let that little fellow fool you.

896. He's an accomplice. Me?

897. Let's call the sheriff. I'll go call him.

898. Wait a minute...

899. Chick! Chick! Oh, Chick!

900. Chick! Count Dracula wants me...

901. Joan, Joan, come on. We gotta get outta here.

902. Joan?

903. Joan? Don't tell me you've gone bats too.

904. Wilbur! Wilbur! Wilbur!

905. Chick! Chick!

906. Chick, Chick. Quiet. They're after me.

907. After you? What for?

908. McDougal was almost killed last night by either a wolf

909. or a man wearing a mask of a wolf!

910. It was a wolf.

911. I'm going to give myself up. It's the only way to clear you.

912. Then, you were on the level about that wolf business?

913. Yes. I'm going to surrender. Wait a minute. You can't do that!

914. Dracula's taken Wilbur and Joan to the island.

915. Are you sure of that? I saw what I saw when I saw it!

916. Hurry! Follow me!

917. They may come back. But Dracula?

918. Dracula is helpless until after nightfall. Maybe by then we'll...

919. Okay. But after what I saw there'd better not be any maybe.

920. Sandra. Sandra?

921. Sandra!

922. Junior?

923. Junior?

924. Junior.

925. Will you help me get outta here?

926. Sandra! Junior.

927. Sandra! Junior.

928. Shall we begin? I've been waiting, Master.

929. Sandra? Sandra?

930. He's growing weaker!

931. Will he respond to the operation?

932. If the generators are kept going.

933. Then, we must start immediately.

934. I'll get rid of Stevens, and you take care of him.

935. Sandra, what are you gonna do?

936. Don't worry. I'm not going to hurt you. Thank you.

937. Soon, instead of being short and chubby,

938. you'll be big and tall and as strong as an ox.

939. And furthermore, you'll live forever and never grow old.

940. Oh, Sandra.

941. You still love me.

942. But, Sandra, how are you gonna do all these things?

943. By a simple operation.

944. I shall remove your brain and put it in his body.

945. You're gonna take my brain and put it in Junior's body?

946. Yes.

947. For a minute, I didn't know how you were gonna do it?

948. Good evening, Professor.

949. Is everything under control? Everything but my temper.

950. I found Miss Raymond in Dr. Mornay's room.

951. You should mind your own business, Professor.

952. I also found this, which is very much my business.

953. And after I've taken Joan back to town, I'm gonna help...

954. Excellent

955. Let's take him to the cellar.

956. We can dispose of all the bodies at the same time.

957. Well, there's the boat all right. Let's look around.

958. That must be the entrance to the castle.

959. Come on.

960. Come.

961. Lie down. Here.

962. Yes, Master.

963. Frankie, don't let 'em do it to ya.

964. Frankie boy. Listen to me, Frankie.

965. Don't let 'em do it to ya!

966. Frankie. Frankie! I'm tellin' ya, it's a bad deal.

967. I've had this brain for 30 years and it hasn't worked right yet.

968. Ask me how much one and one is, Frankie. Go ahead, ask me.

969. I don't know.

970. We'll be right back, Wilbur.

971. Okay. I'll wait.

972. Chick! Wilbur!

973. Dracula is Dracula!

974. And Sandra's gonna use my brain to make a bigger dummy out of the other dummy.

975. Wait, I'll get you out of this. No kiddin'!

976. Wait a minute. Hurry up.

977. All right. Attaboy.

978. Does it hurt? No, no. Go ahead, a little harder.

979. Something wrong here...

980. What's the matter? All right, I'm doing the best I can!

981. Wait a minute. Oh, pardon me, I'm sorry.

982. There you are. Now, get outta here. Go ahead.

983. Hey, not that way. To the left!

984. Get him out. Get him out! Attaboy.

985. No door. No door? Come on, get outta here!

986. Come on. Hey.

987. Now, take it easy, you'll be all right.

988. We gotta get back to the castle. Joan's in there. Come on.

989. Come on, Wilbur. Not me. Not me, I'm not goin' back in there.

990. I've got too much of what they want, brains.

991. All right. Get the motor started in the boat.

992. Hurry up. Okay.

993. They've escaped!

994. You attend to the Monster. I can handle our fat friend. Come.

995. Wilbur.

996. Come back.

997. Come.

998. I said, come back!

999. Come!

1000. Wilbur! We're all set, Wilbur. You got the boat...

1001. Wilbur! We're all set, Wilbur. You got the boat...

1002. Wilbur!

1003. He's not here!

1004. Now where's! he go?

1005. Look!

1006. They started the operation.

1007. They must've found him. We've gotta go back.

1008. You stay here with Joan.

1009. Please, give me a little ether.

1010. We don't need it. You won't feel a thing.

1011. Oh, boy, am I glad to see you!

1012. Get me off here.

1013. What are you lookin' out the window for? Somebody else comin' after me?

1014. Hey! Will you...

1015. Chick, help! Please!

1016. Chick!

1017. Chick! Chick! Oh, Chick!

1018. Chick!

1019. Chick!

1020. Back.

1021. Back!

1022. Chick! Come on!

1023. Chick, do you believe me now? YES.

1024. Hurry up.

1025. Let's barricade the door. Okay.

1026. Come on, get it over there. Get in there.

1027. Okay, come on.

1028. There.

1029. Come on. Put your shoulder to the door. Hold it tight.

1030. We barricaded it. He can't get in here!

1031. Come on, Wilbur!

1032. Come on!

1033. Back.

1034. Back.

1035. Back. Yes, Master.

1036. He thinks I'm Dracula.

1037. Well, we got him!

1038. Joan! Joan! Are you all right?

1039. McDougal. I gotcha.

1040. You're just the one we're lookin' for. You still want your exhibits?

1041. Of course I do. Well, here comes one of 'em now!

1042. Chick! Come on, Wilbur!

1043. Fill that bucket with gas.

1044. Untie the boat.

1045. Untie the boat!

1046. Untie the boat, will ya?

1047. Untie the boat, will ya please?

1048. Okay!

1049. Well, he won't chase us anymore. And thing, Mr. Chick Young.

1050. The next time that I tell you that I saw something when I saw it,

1051. you'll believe me that I saw it!

1052. Oh, relax.

1053. Now that we've seen the last of Dracula, the Wolfman and the Monster,

1054. there's nobody to frighten us anymore.

1055. That's too bad. I was hoping to get in on the excitement.

1056. Who said that? Allow me to introduce myself.

1057. I'm the Invisible Man.