1. - Ally, recap?
- Remember the Kowolskis?
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2. They want to set a record
by making Buffalo's largest cookie.
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3. - You have to wear this.
- A hair net?
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4. Health Department. If you're
near the cookie, you have to wear it.
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5. I just did the hair. The hair is perfect.
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6. All right, give it to me.
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7. God... Why do you hate me?
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8. We're rolling. And speed.
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9. For three decades,
the Kowolski Bakery
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10. has been a mainstay in Buffalo,
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11. known for their sweet,
cream-filled Polski pierogies,
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12. and the sugar-induced coma
that follows.
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13. In honour of their 30th anniversary,
they've invited us to ride along
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14. as they go for the record
on Buffalo's biggest cookie.
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15. Vol? Do you need a tissue
or something?
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16. Can we get Vol a tissue? Or a spoon?
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17. Good thing we're wearing these.
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18. I wouldn't want stray hairs
to fall into the booger.
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19. - We doing this again?
- No. We'll cut to B roll.
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20. Moving on!
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21. Tell me, Mama,
why make Buffalo's biggest cookie?
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22. Man from Health Department say
he find rat pellet in our pastry.
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23. But I say, no, is big chocolate sprinkle.
But he shut store down.
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24. So, we clean up, make big cookie
to bring customers back.
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25. I admire your candour.
Let's try that again, shall we?
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26. Tell me, Mama,
why make Buffalo's biggest cookie?
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27. So the children of the neighbourhood
will be happy?
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28. It must be wonderful seeing
the smiles on their little faces.
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29. I work in back. I see no smiles.
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30. The previous record was 8 feet, 7 inches,
baked by Gladys Pelsnick.
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31. If this cookie is larger,
it will prove
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32. the Kowolskis
have much more free time.
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33. And the cookie is... 10 feet, 4 inches!
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34. We have a new record!
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35. Cue the cheesy inspirational music!
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36. But what are we really looking at here?
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37. Is it just a big cookie?
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38. Or does this cookie represent
the pride of Buffalo?
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39. Its hardworking citizens
the key ingredient,
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40. with a few nuts thrown in.
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41. And finally,
the love of our families,
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42. which provides the warm centre,
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43. making our beloved Buffalo
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44. the sweetest place to live.
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45. And that's the way the cookie crumbles.
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46. I'm Bruce Nolan, Eyewitness News.
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47. And cut.
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48. So, what do you think?
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49. It's really good.
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50. It sucks. It's a story about a cookie.
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51. The Pillsbury Doughboy
will be riveted.
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52. It made me laugh.
Nothing wrong with making people laugh.
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53. I'll never be an anchorman.
The job's there, but I can't reach it.
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54. They make me do this kind of stuff
and I have to act like a goof.
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55. I have no credibility. Not good.
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56. - Now you just sound silly.
- Forget it.
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57. It's not important.
Let's watch it once more.
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58. - No.
- Once more? Please?
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59. No! You promised to help me
with this photo album.
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60. Get your goofy butt over here.
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61. Go through this stack
and pick your favourites.
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62. Come on, this is fun, right?
It's nice.
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63. I bet Evan gets the anchor job.
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64. - Bruce!
- He's the favourite.
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65. Just forget it. This is just our life.
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66. We can always have
some kid do it for us.
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67. Hold the phone.
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68. I like this one.
Our weekend at the lake.
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69. That should be in our private stash.
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70. - Perky. Must have been cold.
- Give it to me.
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71. I can use this as wallpaper
on my computer.
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72. - Give it to me. Come on.
- No!
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73. Fine. Do with it what you will.
I don't care.
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74. I will do with it what I will.
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75. I may send it in to Playboy.
I hear their layouts are quite tasteful.
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76. Give that to me right now!
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77. - Rough stuff.
- I will hurt you.
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78. Sweetie? Time to get up.
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79. Good dream. No.
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80. The Buffalo Sabres lost again
last night to the Toronto Maple Leafs.
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81. Of course they did. They're my team.
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82. And that's the way the cookie crumbles.
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83. There might be something
to this cookie line.
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84. All the greatest anchors
had a signature sign-off.
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85. Like Walter Cronkite.
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86. "And that's the way it was."
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87. And that's the way the cookie crumbles.
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88. That's the way,
uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it.
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89. - The dog!
- I'm in the shower!
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90. No, Sam. Bad dog.
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91. Inside, bad. Outside, good.
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92. You're done now. Great.
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93. B-E-A-utiful.
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94. Let's go back in and have a shit.
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95. - What is the dillio?
- We are having a blood drive.
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96. - Creepy. Needles.
- They need my blood.
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97. I have a very rare blood type.
I'm AB positive.
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98. Really? I'm IB positive.
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99. "I be" positive they ain't touching me
with no needle. It's just so...
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100. - Helpful and life-saving?
- No. It's blood.
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101. Blood is supposed to stay
inside the body, where it belongs.
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102. They stockpile it in a warehouse
and tell everyone there's a shortage.
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103. Not true. Where did you hear that?
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104. From a friend of a friend
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105. of a girl whose sister is dating
someone in government.
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106. For your protection,
I cannot discuss it.
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107. Get out,
before they see us together.
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108. Here. You need these more than I do.
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109. What is these?
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110. Prayer beads.
The kids made them for me.
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111. - They will keep you safe.
- I hope they're powerful.
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112. I'll need a friggin' miracle
to get to work on time.
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113. This isn't happening.
Not during sweeps week.
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114. Not during sweeps week!
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115. God.
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116. Yup, meeting started without me.
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117. This is my luck!
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118. Come on!
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119. Jesus.
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120. Get out of there!
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121. "Are you blind?" No, but I'm late.
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122. Is your child in dire jeopardy?
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123. Find out tonight after the game.
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124. Promos are approved.
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125. Jack? Shouldn't we be focusing
on Pete's retirement?
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126. - This is his last week.
- Any word on the anchor position?
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127. Evan, when I know something,
you'll know something.
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128. Sorry I'm late.
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129. The traffic was...
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130. Did you already play the spots?
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131. Nice story,
but we're going with Evan's piece.
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132. The mayoral sex scandal, for sweeps.
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133. Yeah...
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134. Sweeps.
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135. And that's the way the cookie crumbles.
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136. Just messing with you, Bruce.
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137. You just gotta remember that
the newsroom is like a big cookie.
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138. Do you like jazz, Evan?
Let me play something for you.
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139. - I can hold that note all day.
- Knock it off.
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140. Bruce, we'll keep your story
in reserve.
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141. Can we work on getting something
to put on the air today?
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142. Great choice, Jack.
The Cadillac of bolognas.
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143. Jack, can I talk to you?
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144. - Sure. What do you need?
- Sweeps.
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145. Jack, hear me out.
I'm getting desperate.
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146. I'm pushing 40 and what have I got
to show for it? I've hit a ceiling.
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147. There's an anti-Bruce barrier
I can't get past.
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148. And Evan is loving it.
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149. He gets the stories.
Maybe I should be more like Evan.
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150. Don't be like Evan. He's an asshole.
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151. - I can be an asshole.
- No, Bruce. You can't.
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152. - You going to pick that up?
- Yeah, I'm sorry.
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153. This anchor thing opening up
has got me nuts.
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154. - Hey, Susan.
- Hi, Susan.
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155. Hi, Jack.
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156. You're a good reporter.
You make people laugh.
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157. I'll tell you what.
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158. Today is the 156th anniversary
of the "Maid of the Mist".
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159. Be in Niagara Falls in an hour.
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160. The "Maid of the Mist" is always live.
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161. - Evan does the live feeds.
- Now you and Evan do them.
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162. I'm going live? During sweeps?
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163. Watch it.
I've seen your outtakes.
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164. Jack, you will not regret this.
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165. I won't forget you
when I go national.
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166. Can you?
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167. Thanks, pal.
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168. Can I have your wish now?
I'll put it in the wish jar.
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169. Put your wish in.
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170. - Me, too.
- Put it in.
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171. That looks like a big wish.
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172. No, Martin, don't eat that.
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173. Don't put that in your mouth.
That's paste, honey.
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174. - That must have tasted awful.
- Mommy!
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175. Did you have fun
with Aunt Gracie today?
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176. See how nice this is? Baby on hip.
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177. It's amazing. You've become Mom.
The transformation is complete.
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178. I'll get it.
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179. - Small Wonders Day Care.
- Grace?
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180. No, Debbie, the sister
whose life you're not wasting.
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181. Sorry. Debbie forgot to take
her meds today. Where are you?
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182. A little place called the winner's circle.
I'm at the falls, doing a live report.
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183. Live? That's great!
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184. It's happening.
I got sweeps and I'm live.
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185. They're seeing
if I can think on my feet.
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186. Like I might have to do
in a live anchor situation.
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187. My gosh.
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188. Yeah! Jack practically came out
and told me.
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189. Practically?
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190. He didn't spell it out.
Legally, he can't.
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191. This happened to Susan before
they bumped her up to the desk.
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192. It's good.
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193. Honey, I don't want you
to get too ahead of yourself.
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194. - I gotta go! They're calling me.
- Good luck, honey. I love you.
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195. Love, love, love.
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196. Let's do it.
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197. - They want you close to the falls.
- I'll get soaked.
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198. That's the point. Put this on.
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199. A condition
for us getting the exclusive.
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200. You know what?
Nothing can bother me today.
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201. Remember,
it's their 156th-year anniversary.
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202. 149 capacity.
They cater to tourists, honeymooners...
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203. And insanely thirsty people.
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204. You'll be interviewing Irene Dansfield.
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205. Irene, a pleasure to meet you.
You look beautiful.
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206. Her mother rode the maiden voyage.
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207. - 90 seconds!
- 90 seconds? Holy hell.
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208. OK. 90 seconds.
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209. because of the fast response,
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210. the chemicals were cleaned up
without incident. Susan?
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211. Bruce Nolan is standing by
at Niagara Falls.
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212. But first, we have an announcement.
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213. As everyone knows, after 33 years,
our beloved Pete Fineman is retiring.
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214. Pete's shoes are virtually impossible
to fill, but the show must go on.
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215. And we could think of no one better
than our very own Evan Baxter.
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216. - Congratulations, Evan.
- I'm thrilled and honoured.
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217. As you said, no one can replace Pete,
but I'll do my best.
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218. I am so proud to be a part
of our community of Buffalo.
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219. I think, in a lot of ways,
a great city is like a great recipe.
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220. You take hard-working citizens,
add some care givers,
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221. maybe a few nuts!
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222. All sprinkled with the love
and support of our families.
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223. Ultimately, that makes
one sweet place to live.
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224. - That was amazing.
- I wish I'd written something.
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225. And now let's go live to that wacky
Bruce Nolan at Niagara Falls.
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226. Wacky Bruce!
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227. - Talk, Bruce. Hello.
- Talk, honey.
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228. - What is it?
- A Walt Disney.
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229. - He's frozen solid.
- Check the audio feed.
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230. We may be having technical difficulty.
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231. - The feed's good.
- Come on.
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232. Talk, Bruce, dammit.
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233. Get ready to pull the plug.
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234. Come on, baby. Say something!
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235. Talk.
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236. Hi, Susan.
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237. Bruce Nolan here,
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238. aboard the "Maid of the Mist"
in fabulous Niagara Falls, New York.
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239. First, let me add my congratulations
to Evan Backstabber.
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240. Pardon me, Bastard... Baxter.
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241. It is good to see what someone can do
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242. when opportunities
are given to him instead of me.
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243. I'm here with Katharine Hepburn's mom.
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244. Why did you throw the Heart of the Ocean
jewel over the rail of the Titanic?
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245. Did you feel bad
letting Leo DiCaprio drown
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246. while you were safe on the big door?
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247. Could you have taken turns?
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248. Or were you too afraid
to freeze your fat ass off?
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249. I guess that's how life is.
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250. Some people are drenched,
freezing on a stupid boat in a stupid hat,
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251. while others are in a comfy news studio,
sucking up the glory.
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252. No big deal.
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253. It's the owner of the "Maid of the Mist".
Let's talk to him.
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254. Come here, Bill.
No, let's have a talk.
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255. What are you doing?
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256. You've been running
the "Maid of the Mist" for 23 years.
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257. Why didn't I get the anchor job?
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258. - I don't want problems.
- Is it my hair?
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259. Are my teeth not white?
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260. Or, like the falls, is the bedrock
of my life eroding beneath me?
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261. Eroding!
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262. - Cut the feed. Go to black.
- I'm on it.
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263. I'm Bruce Nolan, for Eyewitness News.
Back to you, fuckers!
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264. My God.
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265. That is perfect.
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266. That is the motivation I needed!
Right there! Thank you!
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267. Thank you, WKBW:
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268. Wimpy... Kitty Baby Whiners!
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269. That's what that stands for!
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270. I'll see you on Channel 5,
where they do the real news!
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271. Do I look blind to you?
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272. Let's go, man. Come on.
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273. What are you doing?
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274. Come on. Leave the poor guy alone!
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275. You OK, man?
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276. You'd better keep walking.
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277. - What'd you say?
- Run, man!
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278. Run!
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279. I didn't mean it!
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280. I was kidding!
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281. You forgot your things.
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282. Say something now!
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283. B-E-A...
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284. utiful.
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285. That's what I get.
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286. That's what I get
for trying to help someone.
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287. Don't look at me, Walter.
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288. That's my payment, I guess.
That is my reward.
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289. Just? Just get a clue!
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290. Thank God you're all right.
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291. Let's thank God, shall we?
His blessings rain down on me.
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292. - Wait! That's not rain!
- Bruce, don't do that.
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293. Everything happens for a reason.
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294. That I don't need. That is a cliché.
That is not helpful.
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295. "A bird in the hand
is worth two in the bush."
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296. I have no bird! No bush!
God took my bird and my bush.
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297. I see. So God is picking on you.
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298. No! He's ignoring me completely.
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299. He's too busy
giving Evan everything he wants.
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300. Great, Sam. But you missed your target.
I'm over here!
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301. Don't get mad at the dog.
It's not his fault.
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302. It's God's.
He gave him the wrong coordinates.
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303. Enough!
Will you stop being such a martyr?
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304. I am not being a martyr!
I'm a victim!
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305. God's a mean kid with
a magnifying glass, and I'm the ant.
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306. He could fix my life if He wanted,
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307. but He'd rather burn off my feelers
and watch me squirm.
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308. I know you're mad.
What Evan did was slimy and wrong.
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309. But today could have been much worse.
I'm glad you're OK.
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310. News flash! I'm not OK.
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311. I'm not OK with a mediocre job!
Or a mediocre apartment!
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312. I am not OK with a mediocre life!
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313. Is that what you think we have?
A mediocre life?
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314. Don't make this about you.
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315. About me?
How could I make this about me?
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316. It's about you. It's always about you.
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317. Perfect!
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318. I'll have the worst day of my life
with a side order of guilt, please!
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319. OK, God. You want me to talk to you?
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320. Then talk back. Tell me what's going on.
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321. What should I do? Give me a signal.
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322. I need your guidance, Lord.
Send me a sign.
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323. What's this joker doing?
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324. OK. All right. I'll try it your way.
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325. All right. Lord... I need a miracle.
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326. I'm desperate.
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327. I need your help.
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328. Please, reach into my life...
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329. What the? Where are you?
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330. Got you!
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331. Fine! The gloves are off, pal!
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332. Come on! Show me some wrath!
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333. Smite me, O mighty smiter!
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334. You're the one who should be fired!
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335. The only one around here
not doing his job is you!
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336. Answer me!
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337. Sorry. Don't know you.
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338. Wouldn't call you if I did.
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339. God!
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340. Hello, 5550123.
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341. Sam! This has got to stop!
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342. Get it straight. That's the house.
This is the bathroom.
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343. House, bathroom.
Bathroom, house.
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344. What's the point?
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345. 5550123.
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346. Denied that promotion at work?
Is life unfair?
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347. Is someone less talented than you
reaping the benefits?
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348. Is your name Bruce?
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349. Then do we have the job for you!
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350. We're located at 7725623rd Street.
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351. Come on down.
Or we'll just keep beeping you.
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352. "Omni Presents."
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353. The glass is half-full.
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354. Come on! Look! What is that?
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355. What is that?
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356. Thank you!
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357. What the?
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358. You're looking for room 7.
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359. - I figured.
- Want me to even those up for you?
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360. - Where is room 7?
- On the 7th floor.
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361. - Stairs are over there.
- I'll take the elevator.
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362. - Out of order.
- I love stairs. My second choice.
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363. Mind giving me a hand with this floor?
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364. That's good.
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365. Are you serious?
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366. I'm kind of busy.
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367. Rain check.
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368. I'll hold you to it.
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369. I'm free on the 7th at 7:00.
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370. The 7th at 7:00 it is.
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371. This looks promising.
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372. Hello?
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373. Another hugantic,
ginormic waste of my life.
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374. I'm looking for whoever runs this joint!
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375. Be right with you. I'm fixing a light.
Tell me if it's working.
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376. Yeah. Seems to be.
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377. - Kind of bright, though.
- It is for most people,
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378. who spend their lives in the dark,
trying to hide from me.
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379. The elevator's broken?
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380. Yeah, but I'll get around to it.
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381. - You installed a clapper?
- No, but catchy jingle.
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382. Clap on, clap off
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383. Clap on, clap off
The Clapper
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384. Just can't get it out of my head.
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385. Good luck with that.
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386. I'm going to go now.
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387. But the boss will be right out.
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388. You must be Bruce.
I've been expecting you.
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389. This is hilarious.
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390. You're the boss, electrician and janitor.
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391. Must be a killer Christmas party.
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392. Don't get drunk.
One of you might need a ride home.
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393. You always were funny, Bruce.
Just like your father.
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394. He didn't mind rolling up his sleeves.
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395. People underestimate
the benefit of manual labour.
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396. There's freedom in it.
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397. Some of the happiest people
smell to high heaven at day's end.
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398. How do you know my father
and how did you get my pager number?
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399. I know quite a lot about you.
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400. Just about everything there is to know.
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401. Everything you've ever said or done
or thought about doing...
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402. Right there in that file cabinet.
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403. - A whole drawer, just for me.
- Yeah.
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404. Mind if I take a look?
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405. It's your life.
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406. This oughta be good.
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407. This last entry was a little disturbing.
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408. "The gloves are off.
God took my bird and my bush."
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409. "God is a mean kid
with a magnifying glass."
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410. "Smite me, O mighty smiter."
Copy !req
411. I'm not much for blaspheming,
but that last one made me laugh.
Copy !req
412. Are you spying on me?
Copy !req
413. Who are you?
Copy !req
414. I am the One.
Copy !req
415. Creator of the heavens and the earth.
Alpha and Omega.
Copy !req
416. I see where this is going.
Copy !req
417. Bruce... I am God.
Copy !req
418. Bingo! Yahtzee!
Is that your final answer?
Copy !req
419. Our survey says,"God!"
Copy !req
420. It was nice to meet you, God.
Copy !req
421. Thanks for the Grand Canyon.
Good luck with the Apocalypse.
Copy !req
422. And by the way, you suck!
Copy !req
423. It would have been impressive
Copy !req
424. if you hadn't used
the cheesy file cabinet illusion.
Copy !req
425. Anyone with a brain stem
can see the drawer
Copy !req
426. is fed through the wall
from the other side.
Copy !req
427. All you have to do
is find the crease right here.
Copy !req
428. There is a seam here, or a hollow spot.
Copy !req
429. Where?
Copy !req
430. Through the dry wall and concrete?
Copy !req
431. That is a good one.
Copy !req
432. - How many fingers am I holding up?
- Thou shalt not tempt the Lord.
Copy !req
433. - If you can't do it...
- Three.
Copy !req
434. Two... four... nine.
Copy !req
435. Six... eight... one.
Copy !req
436. How many now?
Copy !req
437. Seven.
Copy !req
438. - How?
- You've been complaining about me.
Copy !req
439. - I'm tired of it.
- Don't come near me.
Copy !req
440. I don't want to hurt you,
but I will out of instinct.
Copy !req
441. You haven't won a fight since grade 5,
and that was against a girl.
Copy !req
442. She was huge.
She had been held back.
Copy !req
443. And the sun was in your eyes.
Copy !req
444. The ego.
Copy !req
445. Anyway, I want to offer you a job.
Copy !req
446. - What job?
- My job.
Copy !req
447. You think you can do it better,
so here's your chance.
Copy !req
448. When you leave here,
you will be endowed with my powers.
Copy !req
449. Whatever you say, pal.
Copy !req
450. That did not happen.
No one needs to hear about it.
Copy !req
451. I'm deleting the program.
Copy !req
452. No.
Copy !req
453. I'm having a breakdown.
Copy !req
454. Everyday psychotic episode,
caused by a tumour.
Copy !req
455. Come on. Start!
Copy !req
456. That was lucky.
Copy !req
457. Calm down.
Copy !req
458. You did not meet God.
You do not have his powers.
Copy !req
459. If that was God, I'm Clint Eastwood.
Copy !req
460. Holy hell!
Copy !req
461. - Be careful what you wish for, punk.
- Nope!
Copy !req
462. I am a reasonable,
sane human being...
Copy !req
463. with a.44 Magnum.
Copy !req
464. The most powerful handgun in the...
Copy !req
465. I'm not Clint Eastwood.
I'm Bruce Nolan.
Copy !req
466. That was not real.
Copy !req
467. - Coffee?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
468. We have a special on soup.
Copy !req
469. - No, thank you.
- It's tomato. I made it myself.
Copy !req
470. Excuse me, I need a spoo...
Copy !req
471. I found one.
Copy !req
472. Your soup.
Copy !req
473. Soup, right.
Copy !req
474. Having fun?
Copy !req
475. Thy... Thou...
Copy !req
476. Come, take a closer walk with me.
Copy !req
477. - Let me explain the rules.
- Rules?
Copy !req
478. You left in a rush,
I didn't get to explain.
Copy !req
479. - The two extra fingers freaked me out.
- I figured I'd get your attention.
Copy !req
480. I did the same thing to Gandhi.
He didn't eat for three weeks.
Copy !req
481. Here's the deal. You have my powers.
Use them any way you choose.
Copy !req
482. There are two rules.
Tell no one you're God.
Copy !req
483. You don't want the attention.
Copy !req
484. And you can't mess with free will.
Copy !req
485. - Can I ask why?
- You can!
Copy !req
486. That's the beauty of it.
Copy !req
487. - Amazing.
- Speaking of amazing, excuse me.
Copy !req
488. Holy sh... cow.
Copy !req
489. Since you're through with these,
I'll keep them. Might come in handy.
Copy !req
490. See you around, kid.
Copy !req
491. - Where are you going?
- I'm taking a vacation.
Copy !req
492. God doesn't take vacations.
Does he? Do... ye?
Copy !req
493. Heard of the Dark Ages?
Copy !req
494. I'm covered. You can clear
everything up in five minutes. Right?
Copy !req
495. And He saw that it was good.
Copy !req
496. B-E-A-utiful!
Copy !req
497. Check it out.
Copy !req
498. It's the hero.
Copy !req
499. - Whassup, homie?
- Brethren, what up with thee?
Copy !req
500. - Blessings on your alley.
- Want another beating?
Copy !req
501. - You didn't get enough?
- He wants more!
Copy !req
502. Surely, I say unto you dudes,
I do not wish to fight.
Copy !req
503. As soon as you apologise
and admit your transgressions,
Copy !req
504. I shall absolve you and continue
along the path of righteousness.
Copy !req
505. What are you talking about?
Copy !req
506. I don't know if you lost it up here.
Copy !req
507. You want me and the homies
to apologise? Cool.
Copy !req
508. We'll apologise the day a monkey
comes out of my butt.
Copy !req
509. What a coincidence!
Because that's today.
Copy !req
510. Did that monkey come out your crack?
Copy !req
511. This is some voodoo shit!
Copy !req
512. You guys leaving?
Copy !req
513. Don't forget your parting gifts!
Copy !req
514. Little anal-dwelling butt monkey.
Copy !req
515. Time for you to go home.
Copy !req
516. I am Bruce Almighty.
Copy !req
517. My will be done!
Copy !req
518. - My God.
- Call me Bruce.
Copy !req
519. What happened to you?
You seem so...
Copy !req
520. happy.
Copy !req
521. Why not? On a night like this.
Copy !req
522. They're amazing. What are these?
Copy !req
523. A cross-pollination
between tulips and daisies.
Copy !req
524. I call them todayzees.
Copy !req
525. These flowers are beautiful,
but last night...
Copy !req
526. Last night, I was only human.
Copy !req
527. Barry, help me out.
Copy !req
528. I've never seen the moon that big.
Copy !req
529. We shouldn't waste it.
Copy !req
530. Bedroom?
Copy !req
531. Five minutes.
Copy !req
532. Let there be light.
Copy !req
533. Be out in a minute!
Copy !req
534. Don't rush.
Copy !req
535. Sometimes anticipation
can heighten the pleasure.
Copy !req
536. It's a funny thing about pleasure.
Copy !req
537. It can be quite... pleasurable!
Copy !req
538. My God.
Copy !req
539. Pleasuring, pleasurable.
Copy !req
540. Good God!
Copy !req
541. In Japan, relief workers are trying
to rescue hundreds of people,
Copy !req
542. stranded by a freak tidal wave
that hit Kitamoto City.
Copy !req
543. Scientists say the tsunami
may have been caused
Copy !req
544. by what they are describing
as unusual lunar activity.
Copy !req
545. More on this as it develops.
Copy !req
546. Bless my mommy, my daddy,
and especially my little sister.
Copy !req
547. Help me get through this, Lord.
Copy !req
548. I'm asking for your help.
Copy !req
549. Thank you for everything else
in my life. Amen.
Copy !req
550. Good boy.
Copy !req
551. Forget something?
Copy !req
552. Good boy!
There are girls in the house.
Copy !req
553. - Morning.
- Good morning.
Copy !req
554. - I made you grilled cheese.
- My fave.
Copy !req
555. - Last night was...
- Heavenly. I know.
Copy !req
556. I woke up and I felt like
my boobs were bigger.
Copy !req
557. - Do they look bigger to you?
- What?
Copy !req
558. - Bigger?
- Come on! Look at them.
Copy !req
559. They are definitely bigger.
Look. They feel huge to me.
Copy !req
560. I have to go.
Copy !req
561. But this has been the breast bek...
Breast... Thank you.
Copy !req
562. - Where are you going?
- To get my job back.
Copy !req
563. I am great
Copy !req
564. I am...
Copy !req
565. Good grief! Is that what I'm driving?
Copy !req
566. - Nice car, man.
- It gets me from A to B.
Copy !req
567. Darn. All this horsepower
and no room to gallop!
Copy !req
568. Hi-yo, Silver. Away!
Copy !req
569. I wouldn't want to be a fugitive
with Hank,
Copy !req
570. Buffalo's number one police dog,
on the job.
Copy !req
571. Phil Sidleman, at the police canine
training centre, Channel 5 News.
Copy !req
572. Cut.
Copy !req
573. Look what the cat coughed up!
Channel 7. The guy that went crazy.
Copy !req
574. - I had a bad moment.
- Why are you here?
Copy !req
575. - Looking for a story.
- No story here.
Copy !req
576. This pond is all fished out.
Pretty standard stuff, anyway.
Copy !req
577. My instinct tells me
there's something more.
Copy !req
578. Go with that.
It served you well in the past.
Copy !req
579. Hank found something!
Copy !req
580. We got a body!
Copy !req
581. Get the camera! Now!
Copy !req
582. - The keys are inside!
- Every dog has his day.
Copy !req
583. Want to make $10?
Copy !req
584. - Know how to use one of these?
- Duh.
Copy !req
585. Seems to be in tune. Let's do this.
Copy !req
586. The body of Jimmy Hoffa
was uncovered in a field today,
Copy !req
587. outside a canine training centre
in Buffalo.
Copy !req
588. - Bruce Nolan was first on the scene.
- Thank you, Jane.
Copy !req
589. The body is being carefully exhumed
Copy !req
590. for transportation to a facility
where DNA can confirm the identity.
Copy !req
591. That, however, is merely a formality,
Copy !req
592. as the body was found with a
birth certificate and dental records.
Copy !req
593. A red-letter day for any canine unit.
Copy !req
594. Was that enough for Hank?
No, sirree.
Copy !req
595. Moments later, he busted a news crew
with 220 pounds of marijuana.
Copy !req
596. I never saw it before! I swear!
Copy !req
597. I'm Bruce Nolan...
Copy !req
598. and that's the way the cookie crumbles!
Copy !req
599. Good work. I'm impressed.
Copy !req
600. Need me for something?
Copy !req
601. Just the man I want to see.
Hoffa? What are the odds?
Copy !req
602. What are the odds?
Copy !req
603. Sit down.
Copy !req
604. I'll be straight with you.
We want you back.
Copy !req
605. It was not my decision to let you go.
Copy !req
606. - When the big guy gives an order...
- No harm, no foul.
Copy !req
607. I needed to reassess
and get in touch with myself.
Copy !req
608. - In a day?
- Imagine what I could do with seven.
Copy !req
609. It's not in my power to give you anchor.
Copy !req
610. But as far as field reporting goes...
Copy !req
611. Cut the crap
and get down to brass tacks.
Copy !req
612. I had you going.
Copy !req
613. Don't worry about it, my old friend.
Copy !req
614. Give me a camera.
I'll give you the news.
Copy !req
615. I let the jalapenos marinate
in a spicy sauce
Copy !req
616. for 24 hours
before I stir it into the chilli.
Copy !req
617. Then I let it all come to a simmer.
Copy !req
618. Hold that thought.
Copy !req
619. It seems as if an asteroid
or meteorite
Copy !req
620. has hit ground outside
the Mark Twain Chilli Cook-Off!
Copy !req
621. This should spice things up!
Copy !req
622. His stories are all over town.
Copy !req
623. From unearthing Hoffa...
Copy !req
624. to a meteor crashing...
Copy !req
625. Bruce Nolan is becoming known as...
Copy !req
626. That's the way the cookie crumbles!
Copy !req
627. This was Bruce's idea?
Copy !req
628. He wanted me to have a day of beauty
and luxurious serenity.
Copy !req
629. He is impressing me lately.
Copy !req
630. Know where he's taking me to dinner?
Copy !req
631. Where?
Copy !req
632. The Blue Palm?
Copy !req
633. - I just got chills.
- I know.
Copy !req
634. He told me to prepare
for the most memorable night of our lives.
Copy !req
635. - He's going to propose.
- Stop it. No. He's...
Copy !req
636. - Really?
- Yeah, really.
Copy !req
637. He sends you to a spa,
Copy !req
638. takes you to a romantic restaurant,
where you had your first date.
Copy !req
639. I never thought I'd say it, Bruce is
right. This is your night. Enjoy it.
Copy !req
640. Welcome to Eyewitness News at Six,
with Susan Ortega, Evan Baxter,
Copy !req
641. Fred Donohue, sports,
Dallas Coleman, weather.
Copy !req
642. Now, Buffalo's number one news team.
Copy !req
643. Welcome to Eyewitness News at Six.
I'm Susan Ortega.
Copy !req
644. I'm Evan Baxter.
Here's what's making news.
Copy !req
645. A potential scandal
with the Buffalo PD surfaced today,
Copy !req
646. when the mayor demanded...
Copy !req
647. When the mayor demanded the chief...
When the mayor demanded...
Copy !req
648. issued a response to...
Copy !req
649. - I seem to have something stuck in...
- Get him some water.
Copy !req
650. My new co-anchor needs water.
Copy !req
651. There we go. Sorry.
Copy !req
652. In other news, the prime minister
of Sweden visited Washington today,
Copy !req
653. and my tiny little nipples went to France.
Copy !req
654. What did he say? Check the prompter.
Copy !req
655. - It's fine.
- Evan, read the copy. It's good.
Copy !req
656. The White House received
the prime rib roast minister,
Copy !req
657. and I do the cha-cha
like a sissy girl.
Copy !req
658. I lika do
Copy !req
659. da cha-cha.
Copy !req
660. I'm sorry. We seem to be
having technical difficulties.
Copy !req
661. In other news...
Copy !req
662. My apologies.
Copy !req
663. May I?
Copy !req
664. It's perfect. She'll love it.
Copy !req
665. I was going to wait until after the meal,
Copy !req
666. but it'll burst out of me
like an alien if I don't do it now.
Copy !req
667. This is it, isn't it?
I don't know if I'm ready for this.
Copy !req
668. I'm ready. I didn't know
if I would... I'm sorry, go on.
Copy !req
669. - I didn't know it mattered to you.
- Me, neither.
Copy !req
670. I got anchor.
Copy !req
671. It wasn't working out with Evan,
Copy !req
672. so he's going to finish the week
and I go live on Monday.
Copy !req
673. - That's great, honey.
- I know.
Copy !req
674. - So that's what this is about.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
675. Jack's throwing me a party Friday
at the Vanderbilt estate to celebrate.
Copy !req
676. - What's wrong?
- Nothing.
Copy !req
677. Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul...
Copy !req
678. I feel stupid.
Copy !req
679. - It's loud in here.
- It's not loud.
Copy !req
680. Keep it down to a dull roar.
Copy !req
681. - Thank you!
- Is that supposed to be funny?
Copy !req
682. Because it's not.
Copy !req
683. - What are you saying?
- What is wrong? Stop yelling.
Copy !req
684. Can you excuse me?
I'll take a trip to the...
Copy !req
685. The wine is going right through me.
Copy !req
686. I'm so sorry.
Copy !req
687. Keep going, Tony! You're great!
Copy !req
688. What is going on here?
What is this?
Copy !req
689. Give me a break!
Copy !req
690. Really something, isn't it?
Copy !req
691. - Is this heaven?
- No, this is Mount Everest.
Copy !req
692. You should watch
the Discovery Channel sometimes.
Copy !req
693. But I guess you can't now,
being dead and all.
Copy !req
694. - I'm dead?
- No, I'm messing with you.
Copy !req
695. That's not funny, man!
Copy !req
696. And the voices in my head?
Is that part of the hilarity?
Copy !req
697. Those are prayers.
You keep ignoring them, they'll build up.
Copy !req
698. It's just noise.
I can't understand them.
Copy !req
699. You're not listening, son.
Copy !req
700. Let's see.
Copy !req
701. You've had my powers a week.
How many people have you helped?
Copy !req
702. I took care of a few things.
Copy !req
703. I righted a few wrongs
in my own life first.
Copy !req
704. I was going to help the others.
Copy !req
705. - I could help the world.
- That wasn't the world.
Copy !req
706. That was Buffalo, between
57th Street and Commonwealth.
Copy !req
707. I didn't want to start you
with more than you could handle.
Copy !req
708. You took the job.
I suggest you get to it.
Copy !req
709. Prayers, prayers.
Copy !req
710. This whisper thing has to end.
I need organisation and management.
Copy !req
711. I need a system. Something concrete.
Concentrate.
Copy !req
712. Files. Let all prayers
be organised into files.
Copy !req
713. That takes care of the voices.
Not exactly a space-saver, though.
Copy !req
714. Grace might notice.
Copy !req
715. I know. Prayer Post-its!
Copy !req
716. I need something with a lock.
Security. A password.
Copy !req
717. A password.
Copy !req
718. Yahweh!
Copy !req
719. You've got prayers.
Copy !req
720. Welcome to the revelation superhighway.
Copy !req
721. We bless, no mess. Downloading now.
Copy !req
722. It's good!
Copy !req
723. This is going to take a while.
Copy !req
724. I'd better manifest some coffee.
Copy !req
725. That's fresh, mountain-grown
coffee from the hills of Colombia.
Copy !req
726. I have to have made
some kind of a dent by now.
Copy !req
727. Come on!
Copy !req
728. What a bunch of whiners.
This will suck up my life.
Copy !req
729. Yes. To all.
Copy !req
730. There you go.
Now everybody's happy.
Copy !req
731. I'll drink to that.
My tech stocks tripled in five days.
Copy !req
732. Joe, you seem taller.
Copy !req
733. - I am.
- My daughter pitched a no-hitter.
Copy !req
734. I lost 47 pounds
on the Krispy Kreme diet.
Copy !req
735. There he is!
The man of the hour!
Copy !req
736. Bless you! Bless all of you!
Copy !req
737. Be fruitful, and do long division
or something!
Copy !req
738. Try that. It's an excellent year.
Copy !req
739. - Who do you like in the game?
- The Sabres. Coach prays a lot.
Copy !req
740. This is Bruce, Grace and Sam.
Leave a message.
Copy !req
741. Are you there? It's me.
Copy !req
742. Come on, Grace. Come to the party.
Copy !req
743. I'll call you later, OK?
Copy !req
744. Come on, Sam.
Copy !req
745. Help me out.
Copy !req
746. Sam, don't. Come on.
Copy !req
747. - Tell me.
- If I do, it might not come true.
Copy !req
748. What do you want, Mary?
You want the moon?
Copy !req
749. I'll throw a lasso around it
and pull it down.
Copy !req
750. That's a good idea. I'll give you the moon.
Copy !req
751. I'll take it.
Copy !req
752. - Then what?
- Then you could swallow it.
Copy !req
753. And it'd all dissolve.
Copy !req
754. Moonbeams would shoot out of
your fingers and the ends of your hair.
Copy !req
755. This is Bruce, Grace and Sam.
Copy !req
756. - Why are you in here all alone?
- I was going to...
Copy !req
757. I was going to give Grace a call.
Copy !req
758. I didn't see her here.
So how are you and Grace doing?
Copy !req
759. Actually, we had a bit of a fight.
I'm not sure if she's...
Copy !req
760. You're on fire, Bruce.
Copy !req
761. Some women can't handle fire.
Copy !req
762. Some can.
Copy !req
763. That's interesting, cos I never thought
we would ever talk...
Copy !req
764. You might want to stop touching me now.
Copy !req
765. Come here!
Copy !req
766. This is weird. I was just calling you.
Copy !req
767. You thought Susan's mouth
was the phone?
Copy !req
768. She kissed me.
Copy !req
769. - You put up a big fight.
- I tried to stop her, but she's strong.
Copy !req
770. I screwed up.
Can I make it up to you?
Copy !req
771. Why don't you get me a boat?
Copy !req
772. A big boat.
And two big bags of cash.
Copy !req
773. Then I'll be happy.
Copy !req
774. Lots of money and lots of stuff!
Copy !req
775. Other people wanna get married
or have babies with the man they love.
Copy !req
776. But not me. Just give me the boat.
Copy !req
777. No wonder you stayed single!
Copy !req
778. - Don't do this.
- I'm not doing this. I'm undoing it.
Copy !req
779. I'll be at Debbie's.
Keep Sam until I make arrangements.
Copy !req
780. You can't leave me.
Copy !req
781. I'm the Alpha, lady!
Copy !req
782. I'm the Omega, baby!
Copy !req
783. Fine! I don't need you!
Copy !req
784. What's wrong? She can't handle
a little competition?
Copy !req
785. Game's been called
on account of rain.
Copy !req
786. An unusually high number of lottery
winners has officials concerned.
Copy !req
787. 1100 winning tickets
have been turned in,
Copy !req
788. all, strangely, from the Buffalo area.
Copy !req
789. More on this story as it develops.
Copy !req
790. Enjoying your party? Nothing like
spending quality time with friends.
Copy !req
791. - Grace left me.
- Yeah, I know.
Copy !req
792. She'll take me back.
Copy !req
793. - She'll take me back, right?
- Would you take you back?
Copy !req
794. How do you make somebody love you
without affecting free will?
Copy !req
795. Welcome to my world.
Copy !req
796. If you come up with an answer
to that one, let me know.
Copy !req
797. Rise and shine, Buffalo.
Copy !req
798. It's 70 and sunny and the perfect day
to forgive Bruce.
Copy !req
799. - Bye.
- Have fun.
Copy !req
800. - Can I get a coffee to go?
- Sure.
Copy !req
801. K-Tel Records brings you
the 100 greatest love songs of all time.
Copy !req
802. You'll hear such classics
as "All You Need Is Bruce",
Copy !req
803. "If You Can't Be With The One
You Love, Then Love Bruce",
Copy !req
804. "Do That To Bruce One More Time".
Copy !req
805. And who can forget, "Bruce So Horny
?
Copy !req
806. Order today and we'll throw in
the video Sweatin' to Bruce.
Copy !req
807. Just dial 1900-4 GIV HIM:
Copy !req
808. That's 1900-4 GIV HIM. Do it now.
Copy !req
809. Don't put that in your mouth.
That's not food.
Copy !req
810. Go to the bathroom.
Wash your mouth and your hands.
Copy !req
811. That kid is gonna poop an ornament.
Copy !req
812. Do it, you're in a lot of trouble.
Copy !req
813. All right, that's it!
Copy !req
814. I surrender!
Copy !req
815. I'm doing my first anchor tonight.
Copy !req
816. That's great.
Copy !req
817. - How have you been?
- Good.
Copy !req
818. - Debbie won the lottery.
- You're kidding.
Copy !req
819. But so did 400,000 other people,
so she only won $17.
Copy !req
820. I miss you.
Copy !req
821. I took the first step. Jumped out on a ledge.
Copy !req
822. Feeling pretty vulnerable.
Copy !req
823. - What do you want me to say?
- You want me back.
Copy !req
824. - No.
- What about all the signs?
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825. How did you know about that?
Did you talk to Debbie?
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826. Would it help if I said
I was a complete ass?
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827. You said "ass"!
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828. It's OK if I'm talking about a donkey.
I didn't say "hole". If I said "ass..."
Copy !req
829. No, wait. Honey, let's go inside.
Copy !req
830. Kids! Everybody inside. Time to go in.
Copy !req
831. Please.
None of this seems right without you.
Copy !req
832. I have to go.
Copy !req
833. Wait!
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834. How do you feel now?
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835. Have you completely lost your mind?
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836. - Are you drunk?
- Drunk with power.
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837. Love me.
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838. Love me. Love me.
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839. Love me!
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840. I did.
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841. Yeah, I know. Free will.
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842. More power outages reported today
from last week's meteorite strike.
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843. Officials are trying
to repair transformers
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844. damaged by the electrical surge.
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845. It nearly turned violent
Copy !req
846. when Buffalo residents
protested last week's lottery results.
Copy !req
847. Doomsayers are saying
last week's strange celestial events
Copy !req
848. are signs that prophecy is being fulfilled,
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849. and the world is coming to an end.
Copy !req
850. The world's gone mad.
Copy !req
851. 30 seconds to air.
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852. There you are. Your big debut.
How do you feel?
Copy !req
853. You know what? I'm fine.
Never better. The show must go on.
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854. - The Sabres won the Stanley Cup.
- You're kidding!
Copy !req
855. Was that tonight? That's great.
Copy !req
856. It's crazy out there. We're going to
kick live to Fred at the stadium.
Copy !req
857. Five seconds.
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858. - You ready?
- Born that way.
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859. Welcome to Eyewitness News at Six,
with Susan Ortega, Bruce Nolan,
Copy !req
860. Fred Donohue and Dallas Coleman.
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861. Buffalo's number one news team.
Copy !req
862. - I'm Susan Ortega.
- I'm Bruce Nolan.
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863. And here's what's making news.
Copy !req
864. - What happened?
- We lost power.
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865. Transformer's down.
Copy !req
866. Ever since that damn meteorite hit.
Copy !req
867. - It's OK.
- We apologise for the interruption.
Copy !req
868. - Back to the news. Bruce?
- Thank you.
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869. I'm sorry. We're going live
to HSBC Arena,
Copy !req
870. where the Buffalo Sabres
have won the Stanley Cup.
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871. Great.
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872. We're uncorking champagne
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873. because the Sabres have won
their first championship in 22 years!
Copy !req
874. What in the blue blazes?
Copy !req
875. We'll be back with the Sabres'
victory in a hot second.
Copy !req
876. In other news...
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877. - Bloody hell!
- What is it now?
Copy !req
878. - The booth is down.
- It's not!
Copy !req
879. In other news, fighting erupted
in the Gaza Strip today,
Copy !req
880. as Israelis and Palestinians...
Copy !req
881. - Bruce.
- What?
Copy !req
882. They're rioting outside.
Copy !req
883. - You're kidding.
- The town's gone crazy.
Copy !req
884. Go on, Bruce. Say something.
Copy !req
885. Ladies and gentlemen, this just in.
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886. Possibly the biggest breaking news story
this town has ever seen.
Copy !req
887. And I gotta go.
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888. I'm sorry, Jack.
Copy !req
889. Susan, it's all yours.
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890. Sabres!
Copy !req
891. Sabres rule!
Copy !req
892. Down with the lottery!
Copy !req
893. Repent! The end is near!
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894. The lottery sucks! I only won 17 bucks!
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895. Channel 7 blows!
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896. God!
Copy !req
897. God?
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898. Are you here?
Copy !req
899. Hello? I need your help!
Copy !req
900. Clap on! Clap on!
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901. Figures!
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902. Hello there, Bruce Almighty.
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903. Not as easy as it looks, is it, son?
This God business.
Copy !req
904. They're all out of control.
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905. It's mayhem. I don't know what to do.
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906. You're right on time.
Seven o'clock.
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907. The 7th at 7:00.
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908. All righty, then.
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909. - There we are.
- It's good.
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910. It's a wonderful thing.
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911. No matter how filthy something gets,
you can always clean it right up.
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912. There were so many.
I gave them what they wanted.
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913. Since when does anyone
have a clue about what they want?
Copy !req
914. So what do I do?
Copy !req
915. Parting your soup is not a miracle.
It's a magic trick.
Copy !req
916. A single mom working two jobs,
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917. who finds time to take her kid
to soccer practice, that's a miracle.
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918. A teenager who says no to drugs
and yes to an education,
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919. that's a miracle.
Copy !req
920. People want me to do everything.
They don't realise they have the power.
Copy !req
921. You want to see a miracle, son?
Copy !req
922. Be the miracle.
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923. Are you leaving?
Copy !req
924. I figure you can handle things now.
Copy !req
925. But what if I need you?
What if I have questions?
Copy !req
926. That's your problem.
That's everybody's problem.
Copy !req
927. You keep looking up.
Copy !req
928. Order has been restored
after this evening's downtown riot.
Copy !req
929. Officials have suspended lottery
sales pending an investigation.
Copy !req
930. No injuries were reported,
but there were dozens of arrests.
Copy !req
931. - Thanks a million.
- No problem.
Copy !req
932. God bless.
Copy !req
933. Bruce giveth, and Bruce...
Copy !req
934. taketh away.
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935. If you don't like it... mega-bite me.
Copy !req
936. I suppose you're here to gloat about
the anchor position. Go ahead.
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937. Actually, I...
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938. I came to tell you
I've been a royal prick.
Copy !req
939. The anchor position is yours.
I turned down the job.
Copy !req
940. I never really congratulated you.
Copy !req
941. Congratulations.
Copy !req
942. Thanks, Bruce.
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943. In the financial world, things are back
to normal, after a fluke market fluctuation.
Copy !req
944. - You made the right move.
- You ready to go back out there?
Copy !req
945. Do the cutesy stuff?
The lighter side of the news?
Copy !req
946. Lower and debase myself
for the amusement of strangers?
Copy !req
947. I could do that. Sounds like fun.
Copy !req
948. Good.
Copy !req
949. Let's do it like the other dogs.
Copy !req
950. Not to make you feel bad,
but they're laughing at you.
Copy !req
951. Come on. Concentrate.
Copy !req
952. Pump it out, if you have to.
Copy !req
953. What am I going to do with you?
Copy !req
954. I know this seems crazy,
Copy !req
955. but desperate times
call for desperate measures.
Copy !req
956. Do your thing.
Copy !req
957. That's it. Good boy!
Copy !req
958. Training my dog.
Copy !req
959. Yes! We did it!
Copy !req
960. We're doing it doggy style!
Copy !req
961. I'll alert Penthouse Forum.
Copy !req
962. Hi, Deb. How are you?
Copy !req
963. How's Grace?
Copy !req
964. I didn't come to chat.
I came for Grace's stuff.
Copy !req
965. - You need a?
- That's OK. I've got it.
Copy !req
966. I don't know if she...
I don't know if she wants that or not.
Copy !req
967. This is full. You did all this?
Copy !req
968. Know what I do before I go to bed?
Copy !req
969. I tuck my kids in, maybe have
some ice cream and watch Conan.
Copy !req
970. Know what Grace does?
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971. She prays.
Copy !req
972. Most of the time for you.
Copy !req
973. Find Grace Connelly.
Copy !req
974. The woman does pray a lot.
Copy !req
975. Find... Grace and Bruce.
Copy !req
976. "Dear God, help Bruce find himself,
find contentment, find you."
Copy !req
977. "Dear God, help Bruce.
He's struggling."
Copy !req
978. "Dear God, give Bruce strength.
Dear God, bless Bruce."
Copy !req
979. It's her.
Copy !req
980. Sammy, she's logging on.
She's praying right now.
Copy !req
981. Please, God.
Copy !req
982. Please.
Copy !req
983. I still love him.
Copy !req
984. But I don't want to love him any more.
Copy !req
985. I don't want to hurt any more.
Please. Help me forget.
Copy !req
986. Please help me let him go.
Copy !req
987. You win!
Copy !req
988. I'm done!
Copy !req
989. Please!
I don't want to do this any more!
Copy !req
990. I don't want to be God.
Copy !req
991. I want you to decide what's right for me!
Copy !req
992. I surrender to your will!
Copy !req
993. Am I?
Copy !req
994. You can't kneel down in the highway
and live to talk about it.
Copy !req
995. But why?
Copy !req
996. Why now?
Copy !req
997. You have the divine spark.
Copy !req
998. You have the gift for bringing joy
and laughter to the world.
Copy !req
999. I know. I created you.
Copy !req
1000. - Quit bragging.
- See? That's what I'm talking about.
Copy !req
1001. That's the spark.
Copy !req
1002. What do you want me to do?
Copy !req
1003. I want you to pray, son.
Copy !req
1004. Go ahead. Use them.
Copy !req
1005. Lord, feed the hungry,
Copy !req
1006. and bring peace to...
Copy !req
1007. all of mankind.
Copy !req
1008. - How's that?
- Great.
Copy !req
1009. If you want to be Miss America.
Copy !req
1010. Come on.
What do you really care about?
Copy !req
1011. You want her back?
Copy !req
1012. No.
Copy !req
1013. I want her to be happy.
Copy !req
1014. No matter what that means.
Copy !req
1015. I want her to find someone...
Copy !req
1016. who'll treat her...
Copy !req
1017. with all the love
she deserved from me.
Copy !req
1018. I want her to meet someone...
Copy !req
1019. who'll see her always...
Copy !req
1020. as I do now.
Copy !req
1021. Through your eyes.
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1022. - Now that's a prayer.
- Yeah?
Copy !req
1023. Yeah.
Copy !req
1024. - It's good.
- It's good?
Copy !req
1025. It's good!
Copy !req
1026. I'm going to get right on it.
Copy !req
1027. Clear!
Copy !req
1028. - That didn't feel good.
- Clear!
Copy !req
1029. - Got a rhythm.
- Got a pulse.
Copy !req
1030. - Get him up.
- Get the backboard and brace.
Copy !req
1031. Welcome back.
You're lucky to be alive.
Copy !req
1032. Someone up there likes you.
Copy !req
1033. I hear that stuff's
in a warehouse somewhere.
Copy !req
1034. Hi, baby.
Copy !req
1035. My God, look at you.
Copy !req
1036. - I was such an idiot.
- It's OK.
Copy !req
1037. I don't know what I would have done.
Copy !req
1038. I wanted to be mad at you forever.
Copy !req
1039. Now you're just showing off.
Copy !req
1040. This is Bruce Nolan at Buffalo's
first "Be the Miracle" blood drive.
Copy !req
1041. It's a B-E-A-utiful day.
Copy !req
1042. So come on down, because the life
you save could be mine.
Copy !req
1043. The Kowolskis have baked
a special cookie just for this occasion.
Copy !req
1044. It's creepy and a shameless plug,
but we love them.
Copy !req
1045. Thank you, Mama.
Vol, finger, nose!
Copy !req
1046. I will have given blood twice this week.
Copy !req
1047. For those of you who haven't heard,
Copy !req
1048. I'd like to introduce you
to the future Mrs Exclusive.
Copy !req
1049. Grace Connelly.
There she is.
Copy !req
1050. Look at her! Isn't she beautiful?
Copy !req
1051. She just gave blood and she still
has enough to fill up her face.
Copy !req
1052. Behind every great man,
there's a woman rolling her eyes.
Copy !req
1053. I'm Bruce Nolan for Eyewitness News
reminding you to...
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1054. Be the miracle!
Copy !req
1055. You heard them.
Copy !req
1056. Cut. Thank you, Bruce.
Copy !req
1057. - How was that?
- That was really great.
Copy !req
1058. Go over there.
The nurse is waiting.
Copy !req
1059. - Do I have to?
- It won't hurt.
Copy !req
1060. I think you'll find it pleasurable.
Copy !req
1061. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1062. I have a rare blood type.
I'm AB positive.
Copy !req
1063. Sounds delicious.
Copy !req
1064. There are storehouses
all over the world,
Copy !req
1065. with tons of stuff on ice, and...
Copy !req
1066. - Sorry.
- You're like this.
Copy !req
1067. Positive, IB positive... Sorry.
Copy !req
1068. I have a rary...
Copy !req
1069. She has a rary!
Copy !req
1070. I have a very rare blood type.
I'm AB negative.
Copy !req
1071. - I'm IB positive.
- Am I AB negative?
Copy !req
1072. I don't know any more.
Copy !req
1073. I need a frickin' miracle
to get to work on time.
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1074. Shit!
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1075. That'll work.
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1076. Other stories in the...
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1077. The prime minister of Sweden
visited Washington, and in other...
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1078. In other news...
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1079. I'm Bruce Nolan for Eyewitness No...
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1080. Eyewitness Nose.
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1081. And clear!
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1082. Be the miracle!
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1083. That's right!
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