1. Hey, love bug.
You ready?Copy !req
2. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
3. Hey, guess what, Mom?
What?Copy !req
4. I figured out where
wasps come from.Copy !req
5. Oh, yeah? Where?Copy !req
6. Well, I think
it must be,Copy !req
7. if you flick water
into the air just right,
it'll turn into a wasp.Copy !req
8. Hey!
Yep.Copy !req
9. That's cool.Copy !req
10. So, how was your day
at school?Copy !req
11. Fine.Copy !req
12. I had a good meeting
with Miss Butler this time.
I kind of liked her.Copy !req
13. What'd she say?Copy !req
14. Well, she said that
you weren't turning in
your homework assignments.Copy !req
15. And I told her,
"I know he does them,Copy !req
16. "'cause I check them
every night."Copy !req
17. She said she found
a big chunk of themCopy !req
18. crumpled up at the bottom
of your backpack.Copy !req
19. She didn't ask for 'em.Copy !req
20. Baby, she doesn't have to.
You're just supposed
to turn them in.Copy !req
21. And she said
you're still staring out
the window all day.Copy !req
22. Not all day.Copy !req
23. And she said that
you destroyed her
pencil sharpener.Copy !req
24. Not on purpose!Copy !req
25. Wait! She said
that you crammed
a bunch of rocks in it.Copy !req
26. I thought if we could
sharpen pencils,Copy !req
27. maybe we could
sharpen rocks.Copy !req
28. Well, what were you
gonna do with a bunch
of sharpened rocks?Copy !req
29. I was trying to
make arrowheads
for my rock collection.Copy !req
30. Dude, my turn!Copy !req
31. Hold on.Copy !req
32. Mason!Copy !req
33. Samantha!Copy !req
34. Oh!Copy !req
35. Tommy! ls Mason down there?Copy !req
36. Yeah.Copy !req
37. Well, tell him he has to
come home to dinner.Copy !req
38. Okay.Copy !req
39. Hey.Copy !req
40. Hey, sweetie.
Why aren't you ready?Copy !req
41. Hey, Mason.Copy !req
42. Hey, Ted.Copy !req
43. Come on, hurry up.
Let's go.Copy !req
44. What time is it?
It's 9:00.
Let's go, let's go!Copy !req
45. Okay, I meant to call you,
'cause Janice flaked out.Copy !req
46. I don't have a sitter.Copy !req
47. Why didn't you
call somebody else?Copy !req
48. I can't get
a babysitter now.
It's 9:00.Copy !req
49. But you're welcome
to hang out with us.Copy !req
50. Well, no!
I mean, we have plans.Copy !req
51. The guys are expecting me.Copy !req
52. Well, you can go.
All right.Copy !req
53. I'll come back in
a couple of hours.Copy !req
54. Is that okay?Copy !req
55. Yeah. Yes, it's okay.
All right.Copy !req
56. "'Turn back! Turn back!
I don't wanna talk
to Moaning Myrtle.'Copy !req
57. "'Who?' said Harry,
as they backtracked quickly.Copy !req
58. "'She haunts
one of the toiletsCopy !req
59. "in the girls' bathroom
on the first floor,'
said Hermione.Copy !req
60. "'She haunts a toilet?'Copy !req
61. 'Yes, it's been
out of order all year,Copy !req
62. "'because she keeps
having tantrums
and flooding the place!'Copy !req
63. "'I never went
in there anyway,
if I could avoid it.'Copy !req
64. "'It's awful trying
to have a pee
with her wailing at you."'Copy !req
65. Why can't you
just say that?Copy !req
66. I'm sorry.Copy !req
67. I don't wanna go with you.
- You're sorry, that's bullshit!Copy !req
68. That's right.
I wanna stay here
with my kids.Copy !req
69. That's what I'd rather do.Copy !req
70. Would you stop
using your kids
as an excuse?Copy !req
71. I know you have to
stay here with your kids!
You're acting...Copy !req
72. You have this immature life.
You have no responsibility!Copy !req
73. I have
an immature life!Copy !req
74. I have responsibility.
I have an immature life.Copy !req
75. You don't know what
it's like to be a parent.Copy !req
76. No, I don't!Copy !req
77. And why am I responsible
for your mistakes in life?Copy !req
78. Don't call
my kids mistakes!
Don't!Copy !req
79. I didn't call your kids...Copy !req
80. You said, "Your mistakes
in your life," pointing
at my kids.Copy !req
81. I know what I said,
you know. And immediately
you use your kids again.Copy !req
82. This is the reality.
I'm a parent!Copy !req
83. That means responsibility.
- I know you're a parent.Copy !req
84. I would love to
have some time to myself!Copy !req
85. I would love to just
go to a fuckin' movie!Copy !req
86. You don't think
I'd like that?Copy !req
87. Go have some dinner,
go to a bar!Copy !req
88. I don't even know
what that's like!Copy !req
89. I was someone's daughter,
then I was somebody's
fuckin' mother!Copy !req
90. Okay? I don't know
what that's like!Copy !req
91. Stop!Copy !req
92. Quit it!Copy !req
93. Mom!Copy !req
94. What the hell is
going on in here?Copy !req
95. Do you guys know
what time it is?Copy !req
96. He's throwing
things at me.Copy !req
97. Mason! Do not throw
things at your sister!Copy !req
98. She's faking,
she hit me first!Copy !req
99. Listen, both of you!Copy !req
100. I'm going back to bed.Copy !req
101. I don't wanna hear
another peep out
of here for an hour.Copy !req
102. Go to sleep.Copy !req
103. Faker!
- Guys!Copy !req
104. Awesome!Copy !req
105. Look what I found
in the street.Copy !req
106. Dude!Copy !req
107. I know, right?Copy !req
108. Look at those.Copy !req
109. Look at those!Copy !req
110. Awesome!Copy !req
111. So listen, guys,
I wanna talk to you
about something.Copy !req
112. And you might not like
this idea at first,Copy !req
113. but we're moving
to Houston.Copy !req
114. When?Copy !req
115. Well, soon.Copy !req
116. We should be out
by the first,Copy !req
117. so we don't have
to pay two rents
next month.Copy !req
118. No, Mother,
we're not moving.
Nope, nope.Copy !req
119. Sorry, Mom.
Nope. Nope.Copy !req
120. Samantha, I have to
go back to college,Copy !req
121. so I can make us
a better living.Copy !req
122. With this job,
I can't take care of us
the way I'd like to.Copy !req
123. I can't keep
going this way.Copy !req
124. And Grandma said
she'd help us out,Copy !req
125. and it would be nice
to be near her.Copy !req
126. Fine, Mother.Copy !req
127. You can do
whatever you want,Copy !req
128. but we're not moving.Copy !req
129. And what about
our friends?Copy !req
130. Oh, baby, we can
email them or write.Copy !req
131. We can come back to visit.Copy !req
132. And guess what?Copy !req
133. This place that
Grandma found us,Copy !req
134. you'll each have
your own room. Right?Copy !req
135. And there's a pool.Copy !req
136. Mom, do you
still love Dad?Copy !req
137. I still love your father,Copy !req
138. but that doesn't mean
it was healthy for us
to stay together.Copy !req
139. What if after we move
he's trying to find us
and he can't?Copy !req
140. Oh, that won't be a problem.Copy !req
141. He can call Grandma
and she'll tell him,Copy !req
142. or he can call Information.Copy !req
143. We won't be hard to find.Copy !req
144. Is he still in Alaska?Copy !req
145. Well, that's what
your uncle says.Copy !req
146. Probably taming
polar bears or something.Copy !req
147. Yeah. Well, I hope
they're taming him.Copy !req
148. Here, wanna help me out?Copy !req
149. Sure.Copy !req
150. Okay. Take this paint
very carefullyCopy !req
151. and paint any
little smudge
or mark or anythingCopy !req
152. on the baseboard there,Copy !req
153. behind the door
and all around
the doorways on the inside.Copy !req
154. She says
we're gonna come visitCopy !req
155. and I'm gonna write
and call you.Copy !req
156. Oh, wait, hold on a second.
I'm getting another call.Copy !req
157. Hello?Copy !req
158. Sorry, Tommy.Copy !req
159. Mason can't
come over today.
We're moving.Copy !req
160. And I'm on the other line.Copy !req
161. Bye.Copy !req
162. Althea?Copy !req
163. I'm gonna be sending
Sailor Scout instructions.Copy !req
164. Email and write back
telling me how
the other scouts are doing.Copy !req
165. Well, because
you're the leader now.Copy !req
166. Okay, let's go,
'cause I wanna get there
before it gets dark.Copy !req
167. Goodbye, yard.
Goodbye, crape myrtle.
Goodbye, mailbox.Copy !req
168. Goodbye, box of stuff
Mommy won't let us
take with us,Copy !req
169. but we don't wanna
throw away.Copy !req
170. Goodbye, house.Copy !req
171. I'll never like
Mommy as much
for making us move!Copy !req
172. Samantha!Copy !req
173. Why don't you say goodbye
to that little
horseshit attitude, okay?Copy !req
174. 'Cause we're not taking
that in the car.Copy !req
175. Goodbye, old lady
who listens to rock music
and rides a motorcycle.Copy !req
176. Hey!Copy !req
177. What's happening back there?
Stop, put the barrier up.Copy !req
178. Hey! Put the pillow
between you.Copy !req
179. Make a barrier,
come on. Stop.Copy !req
180. We're gonna play
a game called
The Game of Silence.Copy !req
181. Whoever can stay quiet
for the longest period
of time wins.Copy !req
182. You guys think
you can do that?Copy !req
183. Okay, go.Copy !req
184. The bus will be here
in 10 minutes.Copy !req
185. Put that homework
in your backpack.Copy !req
186. Go eat!Copy !req
187. Baby, go eat.Copy !req
188. I am!Copy !req
189. Speak English!Copy !req
190. Shut up! Mom!Copy !req
191. She's speaking
that stupid
language again!Copy !req
192. Samantha!Copy !req
193. I was speaking
perfectly clear
English, Mother.Copy !req
194. He's a little slow
in the head.Copy !req
195. He did officially
flunk first grade.Copy !req
196. Sit your butt down!Copy !req
197. Yes, sir, Mother, sir!Copy !req
198. All right, listen up, guys.
Grandma's gonna
pick you up after school.Copy !req
199. Your dad's in town
for the day.Copy !req
200. So you're gonna spend
the afternoon with him.Copy !req
201. Oh.
Is he moving back?Copy !req
202. I don't know.Copy !req
203. We haven't seen him
in about 80 years.Copy !req
204. Like a year and a half.Copy !req
205. Ha-ha!Copy !req
206. Oh, please.Copy !req
207. Can we please eat here?
The bus is coming.Copy !req
208. Who wants syrup?Copy !req
209. All right,
nice cursive.Copy !req
210. Okay, Mason,
when I check the mobiles,
am I gonna find yours?Copy !req
211. No.Copy !req
212. And why not?Copy !req
213. 'Cause I didn't
finish it.Copy !req
214. Well, it's time
to finish it.Copy !req
215. Just a minute.Copy !req
216. No, let's do...
Apple Quit.Copy !req
217. Time to finish
your work, Mason.
"Apple Quit."Copy !req
218. So this is my history test.Copy !req
219. "A+", very good.Copy !req
220. And that's
another history test.Copy !req
221. And another "A".Copy !req
222. Yeah, it doesn't have
a plus, but, oh, well.Copy !req
223. And then, um,
that's my report
on lizards.Copy !req
224. Oh. Let me see
your pictures.Copy !req
225. Oh, yeah.
These are my pictures.Copy !req
226. What is that?Copy !req
227. Well, that's called
a dewlap.Copy !req
228. A dewlap, okay.Copy !req
229. Oh, yeah,
this is a math test.Copy !req
230. Oh, "A" again.Copy !req
231. Mase, that's the last
candy, okay?Copy !req
232. Okay.Copy !req
233. We need
to put this stuff up.Copy !req
234. That's him.Copy !req
235. Daddy!Copy !req
236. Oh, my God!
Look at you,
you're so big!Copy !req
237. Hey, MJ.Copy !req
238. What's happenin', buddy?Copy !req
239. Huh? You guys ready
to have some fun?Copy !req
240. Yeah!Copy !req
241. Yeah! All right.Copy !req
242. Hey, Catherine, how are you?
Mase, I'm good.Copy !req
243. Mmm, good to see you.
Yeah.Copy !req
244. What time should
I have these rascals back?Copy !req
245. Oh, I don't know,
around 7:30, I guess.Copy !req
246. I gotta get them
home by 8:00.Copy !req
247. Oh, you know what,
why don't I take 'em
over to their mom's?Copy !req
248. No, that's okay.
She's expecting me.Copy !req
249. No, that's all right.
You guys know
where it is, don't you?Copy !req
250. Oh, yeah.
All right. I'll do it.
It's no problem.Copy !req
251. I don't think
that's such a good idea.Copy !req
252. Look, it's no problem.
All right?Copy !req
253. You guys ready to go?
Let's do it, go!Copy !req
254. Go? Wait a minute.
You gotta get your stuff.Copy !req
255. You got backpack,
your purse,Copy !req
256. homework,
go to the bathroom.Copy !req
257. Can't believe
how big they are.Copy !req
258. Yeah. Time's going by.Copy !req
259. Must be nice for you,
having 'em here in Houston.Copy !req
260. I love it, yeah.
I'm volunteering
at their school.Copy !req
261. Yeah? What you doing
over there?Copy !req
262. I'm in the library.
You know, reading
to the little ones.Copy !req
263. Oh, great.Copy !req
264. So, Alaska, huh?Copy !req
265. Yeah.Copy !req
266. Are you back?Copy !req
267. We'll see.Copy !req
268. How's Liv?Copy !req
269. She's a busy girl.Copy !req
270. She's back in school.Copy !req
271. But she's working
and single parenting.Copy !req
272. A lot to juggle.Copy !req
273. You guys got everything?
- Yeah.Copy !req
274. All right, say goodbye
to your grandmother.Copy !req
275. Bye, Grandma.Copy !req
276. All right, let's roll.
Uh, no, wait a second.Copy !req
277. You're not the type of kids
who like presents, are you?Copy !req
278. Yes!
No, you don't.Copy !req
279. Of course we do.
Presents? Really?
Let's do it!Copy !req
280. Yay!Copy !req
281. I call front seat!Copy !req
282. I wanted
the front seat, though.Copy !req
283. All right. Well, Mason
gets it on the way thereCopy !req
284. and Samantha gets it
on the way back.Copy !req
285. Hop in there.
- Seat belts!Copy !req
286. Seat belts.
All right. Seat belts.Copy !req
287. Don't forget
your seat belts.Copy !req
288. It's not like this car
has any seat belts.Copy !req
289. Nice. Nice. Nice!Copy !req
290. Come here,
come here, yes!Copy !req
291. Oh, that was awesome!Copy !req
292. Get up there, Mason!
Get up there!
It was so good!Copy !req
293. Come on.Copy !req
294. Let 'em know
who you are, buddy.Copy !req
295. Let 'em know
who you are.Copy !req
296. Yes! Yes! Yes!Copy !req
297. All right. All right,
don't worry about it.Copy !req
298. Wish we could
use the bumpers.Copy !req
299. Bumpers are for kids!Copy !req
300. What are you,
two years old?Copy !req
301. You don't want the bumpers.Copy !req
302. Life doesn't
give you bumpers.Copy !req
303. There we, there we go.
There we go!
We got something there!Copy !req
304. We got something!
We got something!Copy !req
305. Oh!Copy !req
306. Last time I went bowling,
we had bumpers
and it was a lot more fun!Copy !req
307. You don't want the bumpers,
all right?Copy !req
308. You bowl a strike
with the bumpersCopy !req
309. and it doesn't
mean anything.Copy !req
310. Trust me.Copy !req
311. Just lay it out
on the lane.Copy !req
312. One, two, three and...Copy !req
313. Let's hear it
for the father!Copy !req
314. Boom!Copy !req
315. Get up there!
- Great shot!Copy !req
316. Get out there, girl!Copy !req
317. Four Blackwater operatives
have been viciously attackedCopy !req
318. in their cars in Fallujah.Copy !req
319. The bodies and cars
were set on fire
after insurgents started...Copy !req
320. Look at this!
It's a disaster.Copy !req
321. Let me tell you
what's happening
in Iraq, all right?Copy !req
322. Exactly what
every thinking person
in the worldCopy !req
323. knew was gonna happen
before they got started.Copy !req
324. But Bush and his little
numb-nut fanatics
he's got around him,Copy !req
325. they don't give
a rat's ass.Copy !req
326. That's a quarter.Copy !req
327. What's a quarter?Copy !req
328. You said A-S-S.Copy !req
329. Oh, sorry. My bad.Copy !req
330. And my teacher says
it's a good war,Copy !req
331. because it's better
to be safe than sorry.Copy !req
332. That's what they're
teaching you in school?Copy !req
333. All right. Listen to me.
Listen to your father, okay?Copy !req
334. That is the lie.
That's the big lie.Copy !req
335. Iraq had nothing to do
with what happened
at the World Trade Center.Copy !req
336. You know that, right?Copy !req
337. I guess.Copy !req
338. Who you gonna vote
for next fall, MJ?Copy !req
339. I don't know.Copy !req
340. He can't vote.
He's not 18.Copy !req
341. All right,
who would you vote for?Copy !req
342. Kerry?Copy !req
343. Anybody but Bush! Okay?Copy !req
344. Are you gonna move back?Copy !req
345. Uh, I'm planning on it.
You know, I gotta find a job.Copy !req
346. Are you and Mom
gonna get back together?Copy !req
347. I don't know.Copy !req
348. That's not, uh,
entirely up to me,
you know?Copy !req
349. I remember
when I was six,Copy !req
350. you and Mom
were fighting like mad.Copy !req
351. You were yelling so loud
and she was crying.Copy !req
352. That's what
you remember, huh?Copy !req
353. Yep.Copy !req
354. You don't remember
the trips to Galveston,Copy !req
355. camping in Big Bend,
all the fun we had?Copy !req
356. Nope.Copy !req
357. You ever get mad
at your mother?Copy !req
358. Yeah.Copy !req
359. You ever get mad
at your brother?
Yeah.Copy !req
360. Yeah. You ever
yell at him?
Oh, yeah.Copy !req
361. Doesn't mean you
don't love him, right?Copy !req
362. Look, the same thing
happens when you're
grown up, all right?Copy !req
363. You know,
you get mad at people.Copy !req
364. You know,
it's not a big deal.Copy !req
365. What'd you do in Alaska?Copy !req
366. I worked on a boat
for a while. Um...Copy !req
367. I tried to write some music.Copy !req
368. Did you see
any polar bears?Copy !req
369. No.
But I saw a Kodiak bear.Copy !req
370. It was fuckin' huge!Copy !req
371. Dad! That's 50 cents
for the F-word!Copy !req
372. I'm sorry.Copy !req
373. Here, take a dollar,
all right?
Keep the change.Copy !req
374. You guys are gonna
be seeing a lot more
of me. Okay?Copy !req
375. I missed you two real bad
while I was gone, okay,
I want you to know that.Copy !req
376. I just needed
to take some time,
you know, to...Copy !req
377. Just...Copy !req
378. Your mom and me, okay...Copy !req
379. Well, your mother, okay,
is a piece of work, all right.Copy !req
380. I think you know that
by now, all right?Copy !req
381. And I'm just...Copy !req
382. I'm so happy to be
with the two of you, okay?Copy !req
383. And I'm sorry about
that bumper business.Copy !req
384. I'm gonna get better
at stuff like that, okay?Copy !req
385. I got that one
at Dripping Springs,Copy !req
386. and, um, my friend Rodney
gave me that one.Copy !req
387. Yeah?
- And I bought that one.Copy !req
388. You bought this one?
Yeah.Copy !req
389. You found this at
Dripping Springs?
Uh-huh.Copy !req
390. What else do you got?Copy !req
391. Well, um,
these are snake vertebrae.Copy !req
392. Snake vertebrae?
That's disgusting. Huh?Copy !req
393. Mason, I don't want
you collecting snake
vertebrae anymore.Copy !req
394. Is this the feather
I sent you?Copy !req
395. Yeah! Yeah, yeah,
yeah, it is.Copy !req
396. Oh, Dad! Um, I forgot
to show you, um,
these basketball pictures.Copy !req
397. You're on
a basketball team?
Yeah.Copy !req
398. Check you out!Copy !req
399. These are beaver claws.
Beaver claws?Copy !req
400. That's me.Copy !req
401. Yeah. No.
- What, you hunting beaver?Copy !req
402. You see, that's McKinney,
that's Meg and that's Gem.Copy !req
403. Those are my friends.
Uh-huh.Copy !req
404. What position
do you play?Copy !req
405. Um, guard.Copy !req
406. This is dried
Canadian grass.
Uh-huh.Copy !req
407. Wait, have you
scored any points?Copy !req
408. Well, about eight
or 10 a game.Copy !req
409. Eight or 10 a game?
That is awesome!Copy !req
410. Once, she didn't score any
and she cried!Copy !req
411. You cried?Copy !req
412. Well, only a little bit.
Aw ...Copy !req
413. Hello!
Pomegranate.Copy !req
414. Oh, Mason, Mom's home!Copy !req
415. Mom's home!Copy !req
416. Mom's home.Copy !req
417. Mom! Hi! Look at this owl
Daddy gave me!Copy !req
418. Isn't it cool?
See, its head spins!Copy !req
419. And look at this bracelet.
It was made
by Indians in Alaska.Copy !req
420. And Daddy made this
cool hand-carved
grizzly bear and this tiki.Copy !req
421. It's a totem.
- And guess what else?Copy !req
422. We went bowling
and I made four strikes!Copy !req
423. Yeah, and we got to
ride around in Dad's car!Copy !req
424. Hey, Liv.
Hey.Copy !req
425. I know you wanted me
to drop them off
at your mom's.Copy !req
426. I just thought it'd be easier
if I brought 'em over here.Copy !req
427. Well, it really
screwed up my plans.Copy !req
428. Well, we just wanted
to show him our rooms.Copy !req
429. Yeah.Copy !req
430. Did you guys eat anything?Copy !req
431. Well, we had
some French fries
at the bowling alley.Copy !req
432. Did you do your homework?Copy !req
433. No.
Not yet.Copy !req
434. Okay. Can I talk to you
outside for a second?Copy !req
435. Yeah. Sure.Copy !req
436. They had more
than French fries.Copy !req
437. Do you think
he's gonna spend
the night?Copy !req
438. Doesn't look like it.Copy !req
439. Okay.
An unconditioned stimulus,Copy !req
440. something that produces
an unlearned,Copy !req
441. involuntary,
unconditioned response.Copy !req
442. Now, in Pavlov's experiment,Copy !req
443. what was the stimulus
that he used?Copy !req
444. Come on now, people!
Tough weekend?
What's the deal here?Copy !req
445. Meat, right? Meat.
Meat powder, actually.Copy !req
446. Whatever meat powder is,
it worked on this dog.Copy !req
447. Okay, he put
the meat powder in thereCopy !req
448. and it produced
an unconditioned response
in the dog, which was?Copy !req
449. Salivation! All right?Copy !req
450. Now, who can give me
another exampleCopy !req
451. of an unconditioned
stimulus response pairCopy !req
452. that happens
to you every day?Copy !req
453. It's probably happening
to some of you right now.Copy !req
454. How about sex?Copy !req
455. Sure, you know,Copy !req
456. you see an attractive member
of the opposite gender,Copy !req
457. you have
an automatic response.Copy !req
458. You don't have
to think about it.Copy !req
459. Mick Jagger wrote
a song about it.Copy !req
460. "Oh, when
they call your name,Copy !req
461. "I salivate like
a Pavlov dog."Copy !req
462. Thank you very much.
Class dismissed.Copy !req
463. Doctor Welbrock.Copy !req
464. This is my son Mason.
Oh...Copy !req
465. Mason, this is
Dr. Welbrock.Copy !req
466. Your son.Copy !req
467. Now see, I thought
this was a boy geniusCopy !req
468. who was taking
my college course.Copy !req
469. He wasn't feeling well
today, so I thought
I'd bring him with me.Copy !req
470. Uh...Copy !req
471. No fever.
It's a con job.Copy !req
472. I can tell because
I have a nine-year-old son,
he pulls this all the time.Copy !req
473. Same kind of deal.Copy !req
474. Hey, you play soccer?
No.Copy !req
475. Neither does my boy.
He hates soccer.
He likes computers.Copy !req
476. My 11 -year-old daughter
loves soccer!Copy !req
477. Who can figure?Copy !req
478. Maybe we can get
all you guys
together sometime, huh?Copy !req
479. Maybe, yeah.Copy !req
480. Well, you ready to go?Copy !req
481. Yeah.Copy !req
482. Nice to meet you, Mason.
Nice to meet you, too.Copy !req
483. And thanks for
coming to my class.Copy !req
484. Olivia.Copy !req
485. Nice kid.
Thanks.Copy !req
486. So, you think, uh,
Grandma might be available
for a little babysitting?Copy !req
487. Maybe.Copy !req
488. Really?
Oh, yeah.Copy !req
489. Well, great.Copy !req
490. Dead man, dead man, wake up!Copy !req
491. One, two, three, four,
five, you're alive!Copy !req
492. My turn.
Kids, they're here!Copy !req
493. They're home,
they're home!
- Come on!Copy !req
494. Hurry, hurry.Copy !req
495. Hi!
Hi!Copy !req
496. Oh! We're here!Copy !req
497. How was it? How was it?
Hey! We've returned!Copy !req
498. Honey, it's so good
to see you.Copy !req
499. Hi, Dad!
Samantha, Mason. Hello.Copy !req
500. Thank you.
That's very nice.Copy !req
501. Hey, Mom.
How are you?Copy !req
502. Mom, Mom!Copy !req
503. They give you trouble?
Look at the sign we made.Copy !req
504. Samantha and I
made it all ourselves.
- Yeah.Copy !req
505. I know the boys
helped you
with that a lot.Copy !req
506. No, not at all!Copy !req
507. That's good.
Look at this.
- Okay. There you go.Copy !req
508. Pass out the goodies.
This is for the girls.Copy !req
509. Don't worry,
we got you some absinthe.
It's in the...Copy !req
510. Let's pour.Copy !req
511. You take this
big elevator up,Copy !req
512. and when we got
to the top,Copy !req
513. we flew
a paper airplane off.Copy !req
514. And what happened?
- It flew!Copy !req
515. It flew away,
it went for miles.Copy !req
516. Went under the Arc
de Triomphe, you know.Copy !req
517. Oh, did you guys kiss
under the Bridge of Sighs?Copy !req
518. Yes.
Yes, we did.Copy !req
519. Mom, can we see
your wedding ring?Copy !req
520. Oh, sure.Copy !req
521. Technically,
that's a fancy step cutCopy !req
522. surrounded by
miniature brilliant.Copy !req
523. I wish we could've
gone to Europe.Copy !req
524. Yeah.Copy !req
525. Yeah, we'll go as
a family next time.Copy !req
526. But you didn't
miss much, really.Copy !req
527. We just stayed
in the hotel roomCopy !req
528. the whole time
playing video games.Copy !req
529. Really?Copy !req
530. And the hotels
are really small
and really old.Copy !req
531. Squeaky.Copy !req
532. Can I get
you anything else?Copy !req
533. Would you like to see
a dessert menu?Copy !req
534. Listen, I told you
to put that away.Copy !req
535. Would you put that
in your purse, please?Copy !req
536. Computer games at the table.
Yes, uh, please,
another bottle of wine.Copy !req
537. Um, Coke.
- Um, you know what?Copy !req
538. Mason, you're okay
with water.Copy !req
539. No more Cokes.
Thank you.Copy !req
540. And how about you?
Did you finish
your science project?Copy !req
541. Not quite yet.Copy !req
542. Well, did you work on it?
Did you build anything
or plan anything or...Copy !req
543. A little.
Did he work on
it at all, Mindy?Copy !req
544. No.Copy !req
545. Did he sit around
playing video games
with Mason the whole time?Copy !req
546. Yeah.Copy !req
547. You were supposed
to finish that
by the time I got back.Copy !req
548. Remember?Copy !req
549. Hey.Copy !req
550. Grievous is the best, man.Copy !req
551. Yoda!
No, Yoda is, man!Copy !req
552. Yoda! Yoda, man.Copy !req
553. He has four arms.Copy !req
554. Yoda, represent!Copy !req
555. I hate Miss Burnsby.
Everybody's been saying
she's lesbian.Copy !req
556. She is. She hit on Stacey.Copy !req
557. Man, that's gross.Copy !req
558. Think it's true?Copy !req
559. She's always walking
in the locker room.Copy !req
560. I think I still have
a couple of those...Copy !req
561. Hey, Paul, tell us a joke.Copy !req
562. Damn. Fuck.
Go to hell. Ass.Copy !req
563. Blew you up.Copy !req
564. Heck, man.
That was not fair.Copy !req
565. No, actually it was.Copy !req
566. That's, like,
the fairest thing ever.Copy !req
567. Where are you?Copy !req
568. Ooh, once again,
I take you down.Copy !req
569. The Mask?Copy !req
570. Uh...
Three Musketeers?Copy !req
571. First word.Copy !req
572. Chicken. Bird.
- Chicken. Bird.Copy !req
573. Second word.Copy !req
574. Hood. Big hair.
Robin Hood!Copy !req
575. Brilliant child!Copy !req
576. Second word.Copy !req
577. Blanket?Copy !req
578. Hey,
you can't use props!Copy !req
579. Hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
580. Cut it out. Judges speak.
No props. No props.Copy !req
581. Can't use props.
You can do it without that.
Think, think, think.Copy !req
582. Um, folding.
- Bunch!Copy !req
583. The Gathered? Folded.
Is it like... Um...Copy !req
584. It's just messing
around with a blanket.
Wrinkling it...Copy !req
585. A Wrinkle In Time!
Wrinkle.Copy !req
586. What are the guards
of Azkaban?Copy !req
587. Dementors.
Ah...Copy !req
588. Front of the line,
are you ready?Copy !req
589. Count down with me,
ladies and gentlemen.
Ten!Copy !req
590. Nine! Eight! Seven!Copy !req
591. Six! Five! Four!Copy !req
592. Three! Two! One!Copy !req
593. Let's go!Copy !req
594. Thank you.Copy !req
595. Thanks.Copy !req
596. All righty. Here we go.Copy !req
597. No, no, no. Back up
and take a practice
swing first, remember?Copy !req
598. Nice and easy.
Sweep the floor.
Sweep the floor.Copy !req
599. That's good.Copy !req
600. Don't swing
too hard, Randy.Copy !req
601. He always
swings too hard.Copy !req
602. Hey! All right!
Very good!Copy !req
603. Back your feet up
a little bit.
Yeah, like that.Copy !req
604. Now you're gonna hit
it straighter. Okay.Copy !req
605. All right, go up
and hit it. That's good.Copy !req
606. Nice slow swing is
gonna be better for you.Copy !req
607. All right!Copy !req
608. I don't know, man,
you must've been...Copy !req
609. See, your feet
are too open, Randy.Copy !req
610. Nice and natural.Copy !req
611. Yes! Go! All right!Copy !req
612. Give me five!
Good putt, son,
good putt.Copy !req
613. Did you see that, Randy?
That's the way to do it!Copy !req
614. All right.Copy !req
615. Birdie putt.Copy !req
616. God damn it.
Son of a bitch.Copy !req
617. Get my clubs, would you?
Get the ball.Copy !req
618. This is just in case
we have guests
this weekend.Copy !req
619. He always says that,
but we never have guests.Copy !req
620. Samantha, I think
I heard your dad pull up.Copy !req
621. All right.Copy !req
622. You guys finish
your chores?Copy !req
623. Not quite.Copy !req
624. Just about.Copy !req
625. How about
the dusting, Sam?Copy !req
626. I haven't done that yet.Copy !req
627. Well, I saw you working
on your art project.Copy !req
628. You had time to finish
your little art project,Copy !req
629. but you didn't have time
to finish your chores?Copy !req
630. I thought we talked
about that.Copy !req
631. Dad, it's fine,
I can finish the dusting.Copy !req
632. No, it's not fine, Mindy.Copy !req
633. You have your
own chores to do
and Sam has hers to do.Copy !req
634. Huh? It's simple.Copy !req
635. Poor choice there, Sam.
And hurry up.Copy !req
636. Mason!Copy !req
637. Your dad's here.Copy !req
638. You guys aren't setting
any speed records, are you?Copy !req
639. What'd you do,
get about half done?
Hey, hey, hey.Copy !req
640. So, did you finish?Copy !req
641. No.Copy !req
642. ls the job complete?Copy !req
643. So, what are you
gonna be doing tomorrow?Copy !req
644. Same thing, right?Copy !req
645. Yeah.
Okay. Go.Copy !req
646. Bye, Mom.Copy !req
647. Bye, babe,
I love you.Copy !req
648. Bye, Mama.Copy !req
649. Bye, honey.
Have fun with your dad.Copy !req
650. Just a minute, Mason.Copy !req
651. The boys didn't
finish raking leaves.Copy !req
652. Samantha did not
finish dusting.Copy !req
653. So tomorrow,
when they come home,Copy !req
654. instead of swimming
and all the otherCopy !req
655. little stuff that
they want to do,Copy !req
656. they're going to do
their chores. Right?Copy !req
657. Right.Copy !req
658. Okay, guys,
you had this conversation,Copy !req
659. you understand?
Tomorrow?Copy !req
660. Okay.Copy !req
661. Thank you.
I just wanted you
to back me up on thatCopy !req
662. so I'm not the only one
yelling at them all the time.Copy !req
663. Okay, I back you up.
You guys got that?Copy !req
664. We all agree,
everybody agrees, right?
Tomorrow, chores?Copy !req
665. They don't hear it.
Goes in one ear
and out the other.Copy !req
666. But, Dad, I mean,
dusting is pointless.Copy !req
667. It's not pointless,
you just don't like to do it.Copy !req
668. But, I mean,
who dusts anymore?Copy !req
669. You do when we ask you to!Copy !req
670. And don't...
Olivia, don't let her
back talk meCopy !req
671. in front of the other kids,
please. Thank you.Copy !req
672. Samantha, please.Copy !req
673. Whatever!Copy !req
674. Bye-bye.
Have a wonderful weekend.Copy !req
675. Sam...Copy !req
676. Okay. Bye, guys.
Love you.Copy !req
677. I'm sorry,
but I thought
we talked about it.Copy !req
678. You have to draw a line,
you have to back it up.Copy !req
679. Okay. It's just you have
so many lines, Bill.Copy !req
680. Everything's a line.Copy !req
681. Hey, Randy!
Hey.Copy !req
682. Bye.
Bye.Copy !req
683. Hey, you two.
How you doing?Copy !req
684. Shotgun.
Ooh!Copy !req
685. Here, let me get
these bags here.Copy !req
686. You doing okay,
darling?Copy !req
687. Yeah.
Yeah?Copy !req
688. What about you,
cowboy?
Pretty good.Copy !req
689. Yeah?Copy !req
690. All right. Let's roll!Copy !req
691. You guys ready
for the big game?Copy !req
692. Yeah.Copy !req
693. Sam, who are the Astros
playing tonight?Copy !req
694. I don't know.Copy !req
695. The Milwaukee Brewers,
all right?Copy !req
696. Get to know 'em,
get to hate 'em.Copy !req
697. Mason. How you been? Huh?
How was your week?Copy !req
698. Pretty good.Copy !req
699. Yeah? What you been up to?Copy !req
700. Not much.
No?Copy !req
701. You still hanging
with that kid Joe?Copy !req
702. Yeah.
And he's still
your best friend?Copy !req
703. Yeah, I guess.Copy !req
704. Okay.Copy !req
705. How about you?
How was your week?Copy !req
706. Fine.Copy !req
707. What you been up to?Copy !req
708. Nothing, really.Copy !req
709. You, um, still working on
that sculpture project?Copy !req
710. Yeah. Almost finished.
Yeah?Copy !req
711. What's it of?Copy !req
712. Nothing.Copy !req
713. All right, no, no, no.Copy !req
714. No, that is not how
we are going to talk
to one another. All right?Copy !req
715. No, I will not be that guy.
You cannot put me in
that category, all right?Copy !req
716. "The biological father
that I spend
every other week with,Copy !req
717. "and I make
polite conversationCopy !req
718. "while he drives me places
and buys me shit."Copy !req
719. No! Talk to me.Copy !req
720. Samantha, how was your week?Copy !req
721. "Uh, I don't know, Dad,
it was kinda tough.Copy !req
722. "Billy and Ellen broke up,
and Ellen's kinda mad at me,Copy !req
723. "'cause she saw me
talking to Billy
in the cafeteria.Copy !req
724. "And you remember
that sculpture
I was working on,Copy !req
725. "well, it was a unicorn,Copy !req
726. "and the horn broke off,
so now it's a zebra," okay?Copy !req
727. "But I still think
I'm gonna get
an 'A,"' right?Copy !req
728. Mason, uh,
how was your week?Copy !req
729. "Well, Dad, you know
it was kinda tough.Copy !req
730. "Joey's kind of a jerk,
actually.Copy !req
731. "He stole some
cigarettes from his mom
and he wanted me to smoke 'em,Copy !req
732. "but I said no
because I knewCopy !req
733. "what a hard time you had
quitting smoking, Dad."Copy !req
734. How 'bout that?
Is that so hard?Copy !req
735. Dad, these questions
are kind of hard to answer.Copy !req
736. What is so hard to answer
about what sculpture
are you making?Copy !req
737. It's abstract.Copy !req
738. Okay. Okay, that's good.Copy !req
739. See, I didn't know that.Copy !req
740. I didn't know you
were even interested
in abstract art.Copy !req
741. I'm not.
They make us do it.Copy !req
742. But, Dad,
why is it all on us, though?Copy !req
743. What about you?
How was your week?Copy !req
744. Who do you hang out with?Copy !req
745. Do you have a girlfriend?
What have you been up to?Copy !req
746. I see your point.Copy !req
747. So we should just
let it happen
more natural, right?Copy !req
748. That's what you're saying?Copy !req
749. Okay, that's what we'll do.Copy !req
750. Starting now.Copy !req
751. Check this out.Copy !req
752. That would be a...Copy !req
753. That would be
a Magnificent Owl.
Caligo atreus.Copy !req
754. What's that one?
Look at this.Copy !req
755. What kind is that?Copy !req
756. That looks like
a Zebra Longwing.
All right.Copy !req
757. Cool.Copy !req
758. This one's incredible.
That's the owl one, right?Copy !req
759. Yeah.
Magnificent Owl.Copy !req
760. I think he went
pee-pee on you, bud.Copy !req
761. One, two, three,
four, five.Copy !req
762. Get away from me!
Get away from me!Copy !req
763. Yo, Mase, look at me here.
Make a diamond with
your hands, all right?Copy !req
764. Fingers and thumbs.Copy !req
765. Keep your hands soft.Copy !req
766. Sam. Very nice.Copy !req
767. That's how you want to
catch it, just like that.Copy !req
768. Even when you're running,Copy !req
769. that's what
you're thinking about,
that diamond.Copy !req
770. That diamond
and soft hands.Copy !req
771. There it is.Copy !req
772. No, no, no.Copy !req
773. No!
Yes!Copy !req
774. Don't let her get...
No, no, no!Copy !req
775. Let's go, Roger!Copy !req
776. That's it, Roger!
Yeah!Copy !req
777. Guy's incredible.
He's unhittable this year.Copy !req
778. Now, just so you know,
what we're watching
here is history.Copy !req
779. Now, you see
this guy out here?Copy !req
780. This dude is
like 43 years old,Copy !req
781. and he's striking out
guys half his age.Copy !req
782. This guy's ERA is 1.47,
all right?
Can you believe that?Copy !req
783. Now, if the Astros
could just get a few runs,
maybe we'd win a game.Copy !req
784. Dad, do you
have a job?Copy !req
785. Why would you
ask me that?Copy !req
786. I don't know.
Mom wanted to know,Copy !req
787. and I didn't know
what the answer was.
Mom wanted to know.Copy !req
788. All right.
Well, you can tell MomCopy !req
789. that I just happen
to have passedCopy !req
790. my second actuarial exam,
all right?Copy !req
791. So, tell her that.
How's she doing?Copy !req
792. Is she finishing school?Copy !req
793. Yep, all A's.Copy !req
794. All A's, huh?
Like mother,
like daughter, right?Copy !req
795. He got that!
That's out...Copy !req
796. Oh! Oh!Copy !req
797. Yeah! Look at that!Copy !req
798. Yeah!Copy !req
799. Mason! Yes!Copy !req
800. Yeah!Copy !req
801. Yeah!Copy !req
802. Hey, Jimmy.
- Hey, Samantha!Copy !req
803. Hey. What's up, Jimmy?Copy !req
804. What's going on,
Mason, man?Copy !req
805. Astros won.Copy !req
806. You went to the game?Copy !req
807. What, I'm the only one
with any arms around here?Copy !req
808. Nobody else can
carry anything? Huh?Copy !req
809. Help their old man out?Copy !req
810. What you watching?Copy !req
811. Oh, come on, Jimmy, man!
You knew the kids were
coming this weekend.Copy !req
812. Can't you just help
me out a little bit?Copy !req
813. I'm sorry, muffin.Copy !req
814. Yeah, don't "muffin" me,
all right?Copy !req
815. Don't put me
in that position.Copy !req
816. I'm not your fuckin'
Tony Randall.Copy !req
817. Dad, it's always a mess.Copy !req
818. It was not a mess
this morning. Okay?Copy !req
819. I mowed the lawn.Copy !req
820. Oh, yeah? Great.Copy !req
821. Oh, come on, man!
Turn this shit off.Copy !req
822. Come on,
give me that thing.Copy !req
823. Did you watch the game?
No.Copy !req
824. Lane won it
with a three-run homer.Copy !req
825. It was beautiful,
wasn't it?Copy !req
826. Sam lost her mind.Copy !req
827. She's a huge Astros fan.Copy !req
828. Sure.Copy !req
829. Saturday night
was a lunar eclipseCopy !req
830. I sang 'em a song
Went something like thisCopy !req
831. Well, go to sleep,
my weary babiesCopy !req
832. Let the sounds roll on byCopy !req
833. Tonight we're safe
here in HoustonCopy !req
834. With this,
your daddy's LullabyCopy !req
835. Your mother's got
a new husband nowCopy !req
836. He seems all rightCopy !req
837. I wonder if he's
reading them storiesCopy !req
838. And kissing them good nightCopy !req
839. Well, babysitters say
they miss meCopy !req
840. I know
I shouldn't hope it's trueCopy !req
841. Teacher says my son
paints pictures of a familyCopy !req
842. ALL in blueCopy !req
843. She says she caught him
whispering to the windowCopy !req
844. Will Daddy please come home?Copy !req
845. I know I could call him upCopy !req
846. But what if his mother
answers the phone?Copy !req
847. You brush your teeth?
What?Copy !req
848. Did you brush
your teeth?Copy !req
849. Oh, yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
850. You gonna fall asleep with
those things in your head?Copy !req
851. Maybe.Copy !req
852. Yeah, well,
try not to, all right?
Okay.Copy !req
853. Want me to turn off
the light? Okay.
Sure.Copy !req
854. Good night, Sam.
Night, Dad.Copy !req
855. Good night, Sam.
- Good night, Jimmy.Copy !req
856. Hey. That was
a fun day, right?Copy !req
857. Yeah, it was. Sorry.Copy !req
858. Why?
That Mason had to
be there, you know.Copy !req
859. Good night.
Good night.Copy !req
860. Dad?Copy !req
861. There's no, like,
real magic in
the world, right?Copy !req
862. What do you mean?Copy !req
863. You know,
like elves and stuff.Copy !req
864. People just made that up.Copy !req
865. Oh, I don't know.Copy !req
866. I mean, what makes
you think that elves
are any more magicalCopy !req
867. than something
like a whale?Copy !req
868. You know what I mean?
What if I told you
a story aboutCopy !req
869. how underneath the ocean,Copy !req
870. there was this
giant sea mammalCopy !req
871. that used sonar
and sang songsCopy !req
872. and it was so big
that its heart
was the size of a carCopy !req
873. and you could crawl
through the arteries?Copy !req
874. I mean, you'd think
that was pretty magical,
right?Copy !req
875. Yeah.Copy !req
876. But, like,
right this second,Copy !req
877. there's, like, no elves
in the world, right?Copy !req
878. No. Technically,
no elves.Copy !req
879. Love you, guys.
All right. Be well.
See you, Dad.Copy !req
880. Have a great week.
Sam, I'll see you
next weekend?Copy !req
881. All right.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
What?Copy !req
882. Suzy has a birthday party
next Saturday.Copy !req
883. A sleepover?
Yeah.Copy !req
884. All right. I'll talk
to your mom about it.Copy !req
885. Bye, Dad.
Don't worry about it, okay?Copy !req
886. Have a great week. Okay.
Had a great time.Copy !req
887. Oh, man.Copy !req
888. How do you guys not
know how to do this?Copy !req
889. I'll make you some bookmarks.
Just a second. Pictures...Copy !req
890. Ooh. She looks nice.Copy !req
891. Randy, Mason,
Dad wants
you guys downstairs.Copy !req
892. Why?
You're getting haircuts.Copy !req
893. This is gonna look
so much better.Copy !req
894. You're gonna look
like a man, instead
of like a little girl.Copy !req
895. You're taking
the eyebrows off next,
right, Byron?Copy !req
896. Mason, we're leaving.Copy !req
897. You're not sick.Copy !req
898. Bye, guys.
- Bye, Mom.Copy !req
899. Where's Mason?Copy !req
900. He doesn't feel too good.
I don't think
he's going to school.Copy !req
901. He's totally faking it.Copy !req
902. Bye.Copy !req
903. Mason, what's going on?Copy !req
904. I don't feel good.Copy !req
905. Yeah, well,
your head feels fine.Copy !req
906. So get your ass
out of bed.Copy !req
907. I'm gonna drive
you to school.Copy !req
908. You got five minutes,
and don't make me late.Copy !req
909. I mean, he didn't even ask!
He just cut it.Copy !req
910. It's my hair!Copy !req
911. Well, no wonder
you were angry.
I'd be angry, too.Copy !req
912. I look like a Martian now.Copy !req
913. Honey, you know what?
I'm gonna talk to him
about it later. Okay?Copy !req
914. Yeah, I tried to
call you, but you didn't
answer your phone.Copy !req
915. I'm so sorry.
I've been so busy
with school.Copy !req
916. For what it's worth,
it's hair
and it will grow back.Copy !req
917. And now I can see
your pretty eyes
and your foxy face.Copy !req
918. Why did you even marry him?Copy !req
919. He's such a jerk!Copy !req
920. Well, Bill has
his good qualities.Copy !req
921. You know, nobody's perfect.
And now we have a family.Copy !req
922. We already had a family.Copy !req
923. I pledge allegiance
to the flagCopy !req
924. of the United States
of America...Copy !req
925. and to the Republic
for which it stands,Copy !req
926. one nation, under God,Copy !req
927. indivisible, with liberty
and justice for all.Copy !req
928. Please join me
in the Texas Pledge.Copy !req
929. Honor the Texas flag.Copy !req
930. I pledge allegiance to thee,Copy !req
931. Texas one and indivisible.Copy !req
932. Thank you.
You may be seated.Copy !req
933. All right.Copy !req
934. All right, class,
as you know,Copy !req
935. we've been working on
our mythology projects,Copy !req
936. and you're going
to be writing papers
about gods and goddesses.Copy !req
937. We've listed those
gods and goddesses
here on the board.Copy !req
938. We added a couple
of monstersCopy !req
939. for some of you
who might be
interested in that.Copy !req
940. And you're going
to write your essay
about your god and goddess,Copy !req
941. and to make sure that
you cover everything,Copy !req
942. let's make sure
that we do all of these
things right here.Copy !req
943. First of all, you need to name
your god or goddess,Copy !req
944. and you need to include
who, what, when, where,
why and how.Copy !req
945. So make sure that
you cover all those thingsCopy !req
946. when you're writing
your essay.Copy !req
947. There's a bump
right there.Copy !req
948. I'll see you later, guys.Copy !req
949. Yeah.Copy !req
950. Mom, are you okay?
- What happened?Copy !req
951. No.Copy !req
952. Go in the house!
Go! Go in the house!
Go in the house!Copy !req
953. Your mother had
a little accident.Copy !req
954. Now she's being dramatic.Copy !req
955. Get off
the fucking floor, Olivia.
For Christ's sake!Copy !req
956. I'm having a drink
with my dinner.Copy !req
957. Anybody else have
a problem with that?Copy !req
958. Samantha?
No.Copy !req
959. Mindy?Copy !req
960. No.Copy !req
961. I didn't think so.Copy !req
962. You don't like me
much, do you, Mason?Copy !req
963. That's okay.
I don't like me either.Copy !req
964. You think
that's funny? Huh?Copy !req
965. You think
that's fuckin' funny?Copy !req
966. What's the matter,
you feeling
a little left out?Copy !req
967. Clean it up, God damn it!
Clean it up.Copy !req
968. Bill!
Clean it up,
God damn it!Copy !req
969. I hate squash!Copy !req
970. Pearl.Copy !req
971. I'm gonna pay you.Copy !req
972. I'm working
three jobs right now.Copy !req
973. How many times can
you watch that, Mason?Copy !req
974. It's funny.
I'm driving a cab.Copy !req
975. I'm inside with
my buddy right now
just going over my résumé.Copy !req
976. Okay, you know what?
You need to relax.Copy !req
977. Look, why do you need
your money so fast?
Come on.Copy !req
978. Has he ever gotten
this bad before?
- No.Copy !req
979. But he's yelled a lot.Copy !req
980. Yeah, but he hasn't
thrown and broken stuff.Copy !req
981. Yeah.
You're drunk. I knew it.Copy !req
982. You're already drunk.Copy !req
983. Give me
your cell phones.Copy !req
984. So nobody talked
to her, huh?Copy !req
985. Mason?Copy !req
986. No.Copy !req
987. Mindy?
No.Copy !req
988. I believe you.Copy !req
989. Samantha?Copy !req
990. No.Copy !req
991. I didn't talk to her.
She left a message.Copy !req
992. What'd she say?Copy !req
993. Nothing much.Copy !req
994. What did she say?Copy !req
995. She said
she'd be back later.Copy !req
996. And that's all,
"I'll be back later," click?Copy !req
997. She said,
"Stay in your rooms.
I'll be back later."Copy !req
998. I'll be back later,
stay in your rooms.
And that's all?Copy !req
999. Yeah.Copy !req
1000. Where is she?Copy !req
1001. I don't know.
Where is she?Copy !req
1002. She didn't say!Copy !req
1003. All right. Everybody,
get in the car.Copy !req
1004. Hurry up!
Get in the car!Copy !req
1005. It's still not working.Copy !req
1006. Oh, bullshit.Copy !req
1007. She took it all.Copy !req
1008. All right, Randy,
go cash this.Copy !req
1009. Tell them I'm not
feeling well or something.
I don't know.Copy !req
1010. Mason, go with him.Copy !req
1011. Here. There's my ID.Copy !req
1012. Hi, good afternoon, fellas.
What can I do for you today?Copy !req
1013. Now what's this?Copy !req
1014. Can't read this.Copy !req
1015. Hey!Copy !req
1016. This isn't you!
Who is this?Copy !req
1017. It's our dad.Copy !req
1018. He's not feeling well.Copy !req
1019. Oh! Hey! Yeah, I know him.
Okay, here we go.Copy !req
1020. Five hundred bucks.Copy !req
1021. One, two, three, four...Copy !req
1022. Five hundred bucks.
All right?Copy !req
1023. Don't forget your dad's ID.Copy !req
1024. Now take care of
your dad now, son.
You only got the one.Copy !req
1025. Damn it.Copy !req
1026. Get outta the way.
Jesus Christ.Copy !req
1027. God...Copy !req
1028. Calm down!Copy !req
1029. Samantha! Mason!Copy !req
1030. Samantha!Copy !req
1031. Where the hell
have you been?Copy !req
1032. I'm leaving you, Bill.
We're moving out.Copy !req
1033. I doubt that.Copy !req
1034. Samantha, Mason!
Come down!Copy !req
1035. No, mmm-mmm,
don't think so.
Oh, who's this?Copy !req
1036. I'm not here for you!
- Oh, really?Copy !req
1037. Oh, I know, you're here
to protect my wife from me.Copy !req
1038. Well, thank you
so much, you two.
Okay, stay back!Copy !req
1039. Why don't you
come inside here? Huh?
Come inside here.Copy !req
1040. Where the hell
are you going?Copy !req
1041. Get your ass upstairs!
You're not going anywhere.Copy !req
1042. Stop! Come on!Copy !req
1043. Where the hell do
you think you're going?
Get upstairs!Copy !req
1044. What the hell...
Nobody's going anywhere,
God damn it!Copy !req
1045. No, God damn it!
Stop it.Copy !req
1046. Don't touch my kids!Copy !req
1047. All right, take 'em.
Go on, go on.Copy !req
1048. Don't touch them!
- Take 'em.Copy !req
1049. Take 'em then,
just take 'em!
Get in the car.Copy !req
1050. Go!Copy !req
1051. Get upstairs! Olivia!Copy !req
1052. Seat belts!
Put your seat belts on.Copy !req
1053. Where are we going?Copy !req
1054. We're going to stay with Carol
and her family for a while.Copy !req
1055. Don't look back.Copy !req
1056. It's gonna be okay.Copy !req
1057. And we see thatCopy !req
1058. We're all in this togetherCopy !req
1059. And it shows
When we stand hand in handCopy !req
1060. Hey, Lee and Mason.
Guys, when you wantCopy !req
1061. to take a break,
here's a snack.Copy !req
1062. going on...Copy !req
1063. Wildcats in the house
Everybody say it loudCopy !req
1064. Wildcats everywhereCopy !req
1065. Wave your hands
up in the airCopy !req
1066. Abby,
why don't you come
and help me with this?Copy !req
1067. Why couldn't Randy
and Mindy come with us?Copy !req
1068. I'm not their
legal guardian, honey.Copy !req
1069. That would be kidnapping.
I can't just...Copy !req
1070. What's gonna happen
to them?Copy !req
1071. What happens when
their legal guardian
is dangerous and abusive?Copy !req
1072. I don't know, honey.Copy !req
1073. I called their mom.
I called the Child
Protective Services.Copy !req
1074. I have you and your brother.Copy !req
1075. We are in
a dangerous situation.Copy !req
1076. You're my responsibility.Copy !req
1077. Are we ever gonna
see them again?Copy !req
1078. I don't know.Copy !req
1079. I hope so.Copy !req
1080. How much longer
are we gonna be here?Copy !req
1081. Not long. We're...Copy !req
1082. I don't...Copy !req
1083. I don't know.
I don't have
the answer, baby.Copy !req
1084. Listen.Copy !req
1085. We are happy
to have you here
as long as you want.Copy !req
1086. As long as you need.Copy !req
1087. This is fun for us,
isn't it?Copy !req
1088. Yeah, it's like
having a big sister?Copy !req
1089. Like having a brother.Copy !req
1090. We're gonna
help out, right?Copy !req
1091. You're not even gonna
know we're here.Copy !req
1092. Okay.Copy !req
1093. Mom, this is awful.Copy !req
1094. You're dumping me
in some parking lot
of this schoolCopy !req
1095. where I don't
even know anyone!Copy !req
1096. I'm leaving all my friends,
and I didn't even get
to say goodbye!Copy !req
1097. I don't know where to go!Copy !req
1098. Samantha, you go
right through that door.Copy !req
1099. The office is right there.
They're expecting you.Copy !req
1100. They're gonna give you
your schedule.Copy !req
1101. Here's your lunch money.Copy !req
1102. I will pick you up
right here at 3:30.Copy !req
1103. I'm wearing dirty clothes
because you wouldn't even
let us get our stuff!Copy !req
1104. We don't even have
a place to live!Copy !req
1105. This sucks!Copy !req
1106. Samantha, I'm doing
the best I can!Copy !req
1107. And you're right,
it sucks!Copy !req
1108. But it doesn't suck
half as much as
having a drunk foolCopy !req
1109. slam your head
against a wall!Copy !req
1110. So cut your
horseshit attitude!Copy !req
1111. Put your seat belt on!Copy !req
1112. You know,
if you need anything,
I'm in Room 112, right?Copy !req
1113. Okay.Copy !req
1114. This is Mrs. Darby's room.Copy !req
1115. Oh, honey,
it's gonna be okay.Copy !req
1116. Mom.Copy !req
1117. Dude,
did you see that?Copy !req
1118. That concert was awful.Copy !req
1119. Hook, I mean,
when he smashed that board
against that microphone...Copy !req
1120. Are you Mason?
Yeah.Copy !req
1121. Hi, I'm Mrs. Darby.
I'm glad to meet you.Copy !req
1122. Why don't you sit here?Copy !req
1123. Kenny! Off.Copy !req
1124. Yes, ma'am.Copy !req
1125. Kenny, this is Mason,Copy !req
1126. and I want you
to show him around
today, okay?Copy !req
1127. Got it.Copy !req
1128. Hey, dude.
Welcome to the suck.Copy !req
1129. Everybody, listen up!Copy !req
1130. We have a new student
joining us today.Copy !req
1131. His name is Mason,
he's sitting in the back row.Copy !req
1132. Kenny's going to be his buddy,
but I want each one of youCopy !req
1133. to take the time today
to introduce yourselvesCopy !req
1134. and welcome him
to school. Okay?Copy !req
1135. All right?
Let's get started.Copy !req
1136. What?Copy !req
1137. Oh, hi.Copy !req
1138. Can I put an Obama sign
in your yard?Copy !req
1139. Do I look like
a Barack Hussein
Obama supporter?Copy !req
1140. No.Copy !req
1141. This is private property.
Get off.Copy !req
1142. I could shoot you!Copy !req
1143. What a dick.Copy !req
1144. He had a Confederate flag
on his house.Copy !req
1145. I love it.Copy !req
1146. Young Obama supporters
out on the trail,
this is great!Copy !req
1147. Are you doing this
through your school?Copy !req
1148. Um, our dad's
a big supporter.Copy !req
1149. Oh, that's great.Copy !req
1150. I mean, we have just
got to pull together
to get this win, right?Copy !req
1151. Yeah.Copy !req
1152. Ah, I just
love him so much!Copy !req
1153. I have these dreams
where I'm just kissing him,Copy !req
1154. 'cause I just
love him so much!Copy !req
1155. He's so cute, isn't he?Copy !req
1156. Yeah.Copy !req
1157. You know, I made these
T-shirts for my kids.Copy !req
1158. "My Mama's For Obama."Copy !req
1159. Do you like it?
Yeah.Copy !req
1160. It's good, right?
Yeah.Copy !req
1161. Thanks for the sign!
- No problem.Copy !req
1162. All right! Looks good!Copy !req
1163. How many
you got left, two?Copy !req
1164. All right, all right,
we're done.
Let's get out of here.Copy !req
1165. Come on, Sam.Copy !req
1166. Go get that McCain sign,
would you?Copy !req
1167. What?
Get the McCain sign.
Go rip it up, come on.Copy !req
1168. Get it, get it, get it,
go, go, go!Copy !req
1169. Good job, good job.
Proud of you, son.Copy !req
1170. You guys
are gonna get us arrested.Copy !req
1171. Look,
I'm a patriot, all right?Copy !req
1172. And sometimes in this life
you gotta fight.Copy !req
1173. And what is it that you do
at these parties?Copy !req
1174. I don't know.
Talk, dance,
listen to music.Copy !req
1175. Uh-huh. And that's more fun
to you than going campingCopy !req
1176. with your brother
and your father
who love you.Copy !req
1177. Yes. Sorry.Copy !req
1178. ls there gonna
be alcohol there?Copy !req
1179. Probably not.Copy !req
1180. Maybe some of the seniors.Copy !req
1181. I know what this party is.Copy !req
1182. The parents are
out of town, right?Copy !req
1183. Somebody's scored
a keg, right?Copy !req
1184. You guys are gonna
have a good time,
trash the whole house.Copy !req
1185. Right? Am I right?
No.Copy !req
1186. No, Dad.
Amy's really responsible.Copy !req
1187. Who's gonna be there?Copy !req
1188. Marie, Christine, Amy.
Everyone.Copy !req
1189. Is that guy on
your Facebook page,
is he gonna be there?Copy !req
1190. Who?Copy !req
1191. Come on, the guy
that's got his arm
wrapped around you,Copy !req
1192. with his hair
over his eyes.Copy !req
1193. Garret?Copy !req
1194. Garret.
Is that his name?
All right.Copy !req
1195. ls Garret gonna be there?Copy !req
1196. Probably.Copy !req
1197. Probably. Uh-huh.
You see?Copy !req
1198. I learn more about her
from her Facebook pageCopy !req
1199. than I do from our
scintillating conversation.Copy !req
1200. Is he your boyfriend?Copy !req
1201. Kind of.Copy !req
1202. Have you met him?
Has he been around
the house?Copy !req
1203. Sometimes.Copy !req
1204. Sometimes? Zzz?Copy !req
1205. You have a boyfriend!Copy !req
1206. Have you heard
of Sarah Palin?Copy !req
1207. Yes.Copy !req
1208. What's the one thing
you know aboutCopy !req
1209. Sarah Palin's
17-year-old daughter?Copy !req
1210. She's pregnant?
That's right.Copy !req
1211. And what is the one thing
that you are not going to beCopy !req
1212. in a couple of years
when you turn 17?Copy !req
1213. Pregnant?
That's right!Copy !req
1214. All right, now,
what are the two waysCopy !req
1215. that you can achieve
that goal?Copy !req
1216. First isCopy !req
1217. not have any sex, okay?Copy !req
1218. That's the first way, okay?
Just not engage in that.Copy !req
1219. That did not
work out very well
for your mother and me.Copy !req
1220. And what's the second way?Copy !req
1221. Where you going?
Bathroom.Copy !req
1222. You don't have to go
to the bathroom.Copy !req
1223. Sit down, Mason,
just sit down.Copy !req
1224. What's the second way?Copy !req
1225. Huh?Copy !req
1226. Has your mother
talked to you guys
about this stuff?Copy !req
1227. No, Dad!Copy !req
1228. No, come on,
has she talked
to you aboutCopy !req
1229. contraception?Copy !req
1230. Huh?Copy !req
1231. What, has she...
Condoms?Copy !req
1232. She talked about that?
No, Dad, please, stop.Copy !req
1233. What?Copy !req
1234. Does Garret
have a condom?
Oh, God!Copy !req
1235. Dad!
What?
Come on.Copy !req
1236. Sam, we have to be able to
talk about this, all right?Copy !req
1237. Come on, we do.
We can do it,
we can do it.Copy !req
1238. Just stay with me here,
all right?Copy !req
1239. It's as hard for me
as it is for you.
But seriously, all right?Copy !req
1240. I read an article
in the paper
the other day that saidCopy !req
1241. that although
US teenagers are not
the most sexually active,Copy !req
1242. we have the highest rate
of teenage pregnancy, okay?Copy !req
1243. Hey.Copy !req
1244. Oh, hey, Tammy,
how you doing?
What's going on?Copy !req
1245. Nice to see you.Copy !req
1246. Oh, yeah,
good to see you.
Yeah.Copy !req
1247. Um, Tammy, this is
my daughter Samantha.
Hey.Copy !req
1248. And this is, uh,
Mason Junior right here.Copy !req
1249. Mason Junior.
- Tammy.Copy !req
1250. Say hi.
Hi.Copy !req
1251. Hi, Mason, nice to meet you.
Heard a lot about you guys.Copy !req
1252. What're you doing here?Copy !req
1253. I'm just here
with some friends.Copy !req
1254. Oh, wow.
Yeah.Copy !req
1255. What are you guys up to?Copy !req
1256. Um, we're going camping.Copy !req
1257. Well, no, this one
is not going camping.Copy !req
1258. This one is going
to a party.Copy !req
1259. Oh, fun.Copy !req
1260. But we, the men,
are going camping.Copy !req
1261. The boys are going camping.Copy !req
1262. All right, very nice.Copy !req
1263. Well, uh, we still on
for tomorrow?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
1264. No, I'll drop him off at 7:00
and then I'll just call you.Copy !req
1265. Okay.
Right?Copy !req
1266. Great. It was really
nice meeting you both.Copy !req
1267. Take care.Copy !req
1268. Talk to you soon. Bye.
I'll see you.
I'll see you.Copy !req
1269. Don't look at me
like that, all right?Copy !req
1270. Look, just to finish
the point, okay?Copy !req
1271. I was 23 when
your mom had you,
all right? So was she.Copy !req
1272. All right, and we didn't
put ourselvesCopy !req
1273. in the best position
to be great parents.Copy !req
1274. And I wish that...Copy !req
1275. I wish I were
a better parent
to you guys, all right?Copy !req
1276. And I hope
that you can learn
from my mistakes, okay?Copy !req
1277. All right.
So wear a condom, okay?
Oh!Copy !req
1278. Or get Garret to...Copy !req
1279. I don't know,
whatever.Copy !req
1280. Listen to this song,
all right?Copy !req
1281. I try to stay busyCopy !req
1282. Just straight-up...
The lyrics in this,Copy !req
1283. straight-up
old-school country song.Copy !req
1284. I do the dishes
I mow the lawnCopy !req
1285. Listen to
the production of this.Copy !req
1286. Production's like
Abbey Road or something.Copy !req
1287. Even though I know
You're not coming homeCopy !req
1288. You know,
his old woman's gone.Copy !req
1289. Straight-up.
Nothing fancy.Copy !req
1290. I try to keep
the house nice and neatCopy !req
1291. Make my bed
I change the sheetsCopy !req
1292. I even learned how to use
the washing machineCopy !req
1293. Keeping things clean
Doesn't change anythingCopy !req
1294. Yeah, I think
she's about to get
her master's degree.Copy !req
1295. Well, then she's gonna
start applying
for teaching jobs?Copy !req
1296. I think she already has.Copy !req
1297. Really? Where?Copy !req
1298. All over.Copy !req
1299. All over Texas?
Yeah.Copy !req
1300. Well, if you gotta move,
you gotta move, you know?
It's no big deal.Copy !req
1301. We can handle that.
I'll still come get you
every other weekend.Copy !req
1302. I mean, unless she moves
500 miles away or something,Copy !req
1303. it'll just be a little bit
more car time.Copy !req
1304. No big deal.Copy !req
1305. I'm just kind of
sick of moving.Copy !req
1306. Well, I bet you are.Copy !req
1307. But, you know,
you never know.Copy !req
1308. I might have
to move. Right?Copy !req
1309. I'm working for this
insurance company now.Copy !req
1310. These places get
bought and sold
all the time.Copy !req
1311. You know,
we'll just roll with it.Copy !req
1312. I thought you were
a musician.Copy !req
1313. I am,Copy !req
1314. but life is expensive,
you know?Copy !req
1315. Guy's got to
be responsible.Copy !req
1316. What do you think?Copy !req
1317. Hey! Hey!Copy !req
1318. Oh, you!Copy !req
1319. Punk kid!
You got no respect!Copy !req
1320. You know that redhead
at the bowling alley?Copy !req
1321. Sure.
What about her?Copy !req
1322. Do you know her well?Copy !req
1323. Uh, you know,
we've hung out a little bit.Copy !req
1324. Is she your girlfriend?Copy !req
1325. How do you mean?Copy !req
1326. Like, have you kissed her?Copy !req
1327. Um...Copy !req
1328. Yeah. Yeah,
I've kissed her.Copy !req
1329. What about you?
Have you got a girlfriend?Copy !req
1330. Sort of.Copy !req
1331. Really?Copy !req
1332. Have you, uh,
kissed her?Copy !req
1333. Not really.Copy !req
1334. Yeah? What have you done?Copy !req
1335. Well,
we talked on the phone.Copy !req
1336. Oh, yeah!Copy !req
1337. How did that go?Copy !req
1338. Pretty terrible.Copy !req
1339. Why?Copy !req
1340. Well, when we're at school,
we got plenty to talk about,Copy !req
1341. but when we're alone
or on the phone,Copy !req
1342. it's like we have
nothing in common.Copy !req
1343. Nothing?Copy !req
1344. She's not interested
in music or video games
or...Copy !req
1345. Three best movies
this summer.
Right.Copy !req
1346. Tropic Thunder,
Dark Knight
and Pineapple Express.Copy !req
1347. Yeah, what about 'em?
She said they all sucked.Copy !req
1348. Okay, what's she
interested in?Copy !req
1349. I don't know.Copy !req
1350. Going to the mall
with her stupid friends?Copy !req
1351. Well, is she cute?
Watch your step there.Copy !req
1352. Yeah.
Yeah? All right.Copy !req
1353. Well, here's what
you do, all right?Copy !req
1354. First off, you gotta
ask her a lot of questions.Copy !req
1355. Then you have to
listen to the answers,
all right?Copy !req
1356. Actually be interested
in her, all right?Copy !req
1357. If you can
do those things,Copy !req
1358. you're gonna be
light years ahead
of all the other guys.Copy !req
1359. Okay. This is the best
s'more I ever made
in my life, all right?Copy !req
1360. This is absolute peak.
Look at this.
Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
1361. Honey brown, no burn.Copy !req
1362. Look at that, huh?Copy !req
1363. Sell that in the store.Copy !req
1364. That's like
advertisement worthy.Copy !req
1365. Advertisement quality.Copy !req
1366. Yeah.Copy !req
1367. You think they ever will
make another Star Wars?Copy !req
1368. I don't know. I think
if they were gonna
make another one,Copy !req
1369. that the period
where this game is setCopy !req
1370. is where
it would have to be,Copy !req
1371. 'cause there's
nothing after, really.Copy !req
1372. Yeah. No, Return
of the Jedi, it's over.
There's nothing...Copy !req
1373. Yeah, there's nothing else
to do there.Copy !req
1374. You gonna turn Han Solo
into a Sith Lord?Copy !req
1375. Yeah. What are
you gonna do?
Right.Copy !req
1376. Good morning.
Morning.Copy !req
1377. You gotta pee?Copy !req
1378. Sure.Copy !req
1379. Hit the campfire.Copy !req
1380. Ancient Native
American custom.Copy !req
1381. You're gonna give
back to the Earth
what you take from it,Copy !req
1382. and you don't burn
the forest down.Copy !req
1383. Okay, guys,
have a good day!Copy !req
1384. Mason, don't forget,
I have to teach late today.Copy !req
1385. Sam's gonna pick you up.
Right, Sam?
Yeah.Copy !req
1386. All right.
Okay. Bye, guys.Copy !req
1387. See you.Copy !req
1388. Hey.Copy !req
1389. That's what I was
talking to you about.Copy !req
1390. Yeah. Good luck with that.Copy !req
1391. See you, man.Copy !req
1392. Don't bump into me!
Little bitch!Copy !req
1393. I didn't!Copy !req
1394. You calling me a liar?Copy !req
1395. No.Copy !req
1396. Don't act like
you're tough shit,
motherfucker.Copy !req
1397. I don't think pretty boy's
hair's good enough.Copy !req
1398. Don't touch me, faggot!Copy !req
1399. You're a fuckin' asshole.Copy !req
1400. Hey, Mason!Copy !req
1401. Hey, Jill.Copy !req
1402. So, where're you going?Copy !req
1403. Over to the college.Copy !req
1404. What's going on there?Copy !req
1405. My mom's a teacher.Copy !req
1406. Oh, cool.
What does she teach?Copy !req
1407. Psychology, I think.Copy !req
1408. What're you up to?Copy !req
1409. Oh, my mom
owns Needleworks.Copy !req
1410. The arts and crafts
store over there.Copy !req
1411. So I'm just
kinda hangin' out.Copy !req
1412. But I'm supposed
to be going to
the hospital soon.Copy !req
1413. How come?Copy !req
1414. You know Courtney?Copy !req
1415. Girl with the dyed black hair
and the nose ring?Copy !req
1416. Wears Hot Topic
every day?Copy !req
1417. I think so.Copy !req
1418. We used to be
best friends growing up,Copy !req
1419. but we've kind of
grown apart.Copy !req
1420. She sorta got all emo,
she thinks I'm a prep,Copy !req
1421. but I still consider
her a friend.Copy !req
1422. Anyway, she cut
one of her wrists.Copy !req
1423. I don't know how bad,
but I think
I should go visit.Copy !req
1424. So what're you reading?Copy !req
1425. Uh, it's
Breakfast of Champions.
Kurt Vonnegut.Copy !req
1426. I think my older brother
likes him.Copy !req
1427. I'm reading
To Kill a Mockingbird
for the third time.Copy !req
1428. My friends
make fun of me.Copy !req
1429. I think I'm the only girl
in the whole schoolCopy !req
1430. who doesn't like
the Twilight books.Copy !req
1431. Have you read 'em?Copy !req
1432. Sure haven't.Copy !req
1433. I tried,Copy !req
1434. but it was so cheesy!Copy !req
1435. So, how do you
like San Marcos?Copy !req
1436. I like it all right.Copy !req
1437. It's a lot smaller
than Houston,
but it seems pretty cool.Copy !req
1438. Have you always
lived here?Copy !req
1439. Yeah.Copy !req
1440. If you want
the big city around here,Copy !req
1441. you have to drive
to San Antonio or Austin.Copy !req
1442. Have you been there yet?Copy !req
1443. I went to San Antonio
for a day,Copy !req
1444. but I haven't been
to Austin yet.Copy !req
1445. That's where all
the high school kids goCopy !req
1446. on weekends
for shows and stuff.Copy !req
1447. That's what I've heard.Copy !req
1448. So, are you going
to Shauna's party
next weekend?Copy !req
1449. Um, I think I heard about it.
I'm not really sure, though.Copy !req
1450. Well, you should!Copy !req
1451. Why's that?Copy !req
1452. Well, LeeAnne has
a big crush on you,Copy !req
1453. and I know she was
hoping you would go.Copy !req
1454. You don't have
a girlfriend, do you?Copy !req
1455. Not currently.Copy !req
1456. Well then,
you should come.Copy !req
1457. I'll tell Chase to
make sure you're there.Copy !req
1458. Okay.Copy !req
1459. But don't tell LeeAnne
I told you that.
She'd kill me.Copy !req
1460. I won't.Copy !req
1461. Well, I better get going.Copy !req
1462. See you later.
Bye.Copy !req
1463. His cognitive
theories, his interviews
with orphans,Copy !req
1464. ethology theorists' work,Copy !req
1465. and then he in turnCopy !req
1466. was supported strongly
by Harry Harlow's
rhesus monkey study.Copy !req
1467. Now, you guys,
you gotta think,Copy !req
1468. this is the 1950s,
this was radical!Copy !req
1469. This flew in the face
of traditional
learning theory,Copy !req
1470. of B. F. Skinner's classical
and instrumental conditioning.Copy !req
1471. Now, Bowlby's
gonna argue thatCopy !req
1472. human survival depends
on us falling in love.Copy !req
1473. It depends on me
falling in love
with my motherCopy !req
1474. and my mother
falling in love with me.Copy !req
1475. And if that doesn't happen,Copy !req
1476. we're pretty much doomed.Copy !req
1477. Now think about it.Copy !req
1478. A tiger chases her tribe
out of a caveCopy !req
1479. Now, an ideal mother goes,Copy !req
1480. "My baby! I love you,
I'll protect you!"Copy !req
1481. Or, "Well, you, why am
I gonna pick you up?
You're gonna slow me down.Copy !req
1482. "You are
tiger kibble!"Copy !req
1483. So, next week,
we are gonna get intoCopy !req
1484. Bowlby's four stages
of attachment.Copy !req
1485. Oh, oh...
Uh, Professor Douglas
and I...Copy !req
1486. Some of you might
have classes with Elena.Copy !req
1487. She and I are hosting
a little pre-Thanksgiving
get-together at my place,Copy !req
1488. so if anyone wants to come,
please stop by.Copy !req
1489. I'm not the greatest cook.Copy !req
1490. Thanks.Copy !req
1491. Samantha!Copy !req
1492. Why the hell didn't you
pick up your brother
like you said you would?Copy !req
1493. Okay. Mom...
Mom, I know
what you're gonna say.Copy !req
1494. She was running late
and we couldn't turn around.Copy !req
1495. No, no! No excuses!Copy !req
1496. The bottom line is
you didn't do what you said
you were gonna do!Copy !req
1497. You stranded your brother!Copy !req
1498. It's embarrassing to ask
my friend to turn aroundCopy !req
1499. and go get some kid
at the middle school.Copy !req
1500. What do you mean "some kid"?
He's your brother!Copy !req
1501. And you know what?
We've helped
Janey out before.Copy !req
1502. She lives right
around the corner.
It's no big deal.Copy !req
1503. Sorry.Copy !req
1504. You know what, Samantha?Copy !req
1505. You need to start thinking
long and hard about
who you wanna be.Copy !req
1506. Do you wanna be
a cooperative personCopy !req
1507. who's compassionate
and helps people out...Copy !req
1508. or do you wanna be
a self-centered narcissist?Copy !req
1509. You know what?
You're right. I am
this horrible person.Copy !req
1510. But, honestly,
he's not a baby anymore.Copy !req
1511. You don't have to
treat him like one.Copy !req
1512. He's in eighth grade,
and he can find his way
home if he wants to.Copy !req
1513. You know what?Copy !req
1514. When Gabi leaves,
you and me are
gonna have a chat.Copy !req
1515. Awkward.Copy !req
1516. Dude, that sucks.Copy !req
1517. Hey, man, what's up?Copy !req
1518. Hey. We're going
camping tonight.Copy !req
1519. You in?Copy !req
1520. Uh, who's going?Copy !req
1521. My brother,
one of his friends,
and Tony maybe.Copy !req
1522. Yeah, let me check
with my mom.Copy !req
1523. Mom, can I go camping
with Chase tonight?Copy !req
1524. Camping? Where?Copy !req
1525. Uh, at that house that
his family's building.
It's pretty much finished.Copy !req
1526. Well, will any adults
be there?Copy !req
1527. His brother's a senior.Copy !req
1528. You have your cell phone?
Yeah.Copy !req
1529. Is it charged?Copy !req
1530. Okay, do me a favor.Copy !req
1531. Leave his parents' number
and the address
on the counter.Copy !req
1532. Okay.Copy !req
1533. Yeah! What
I'm talking about!Copy !req
1534. That's it.Copy !req
1535. You ready?
Check this shit out.Copy !req
1536. That was all right,
but this is gonna
be badass.Copy !req
1537. All right, let me see.
Let me see what you can do.Copy !req
1538. All right.
This is your face.Copy !req
1539. I'm about to break
his face, right here.Copy !req
1540. All right, man. All right,
now check this out.
You might want to move.Copy !req
1541. Ow, that'd be painful.Copy !req
1542. In the kidneys, right?
The stomach? Something.Copy !req
1543. Check this out, man.Copy !req
1544. Pancreas.Copy !req
1545. That shit's lethal.Copy !req
1546. Yeah,
that would be painful.Copy !req
1547. Man, have a beer, man.
That was awesome. Here.Copy !req
1548. It's beer 30, children.Copy !req
1549. Nice.Copy !req
1550. Uh, no, thanks.Copy !req
1551. Come on, man.Copy !req
1552. What are you?
A pussy?Copy !req
1553. I just don't feel like
drinking a beer right now.Copy !req
1554. Man, if you're
too chickenshit
to even have a beer,Copy !req
1555. I know for a fact
that you have never
gotten any pussy.Copy !req
1556. Like you guys have.Copy !req
1557. Sure have.Copy !req
1558. When?Copy !req
1559. Last summer.Copy !req
1560. With who?
- It was awesome.Copy !req
1561. Chase went down easy street
and fucked this whore Nancy.Copy !req
1562. At least,
that's what he said.Copy !req
1563. I did. Would I lie?Copy !req
1564. Bullshit. Quick,
where were you?Copy !req
1565. At Tober's house.Copy !req
1566. And she fucked
a couple other guys, too.Copy !req
1567. Oh, man,
his first piece of ass
was sloppy seconds.Copy !req
1568. What about you, Mason?
You ever got any?Copy !req
1569. Yeah, you ever made her,
uh, howl into the night?Copy !req
1570. A few times.
Really?Copy !req
1571. Yeah, right,
what was her name?
Lucky?Copy !req
1572. No. Jennifer.Copy !req
1573. She doesn't live
here, though. She's
back in Houston.Copy !req
1574. You're fucking lying.Copy !req
1575. I don't care if you assholes
believe me or not.Copy !req
1576. Let me guess,
you were pulling all kinds
of ass back home,Copy !req
1577. but once you got
down here, lefty.Copy !req
1578. Hey, fuck you.Copy !req
1579. I would, but none of
the girls here want to.Copy !req
1580. Dude, it's not what
they want, man,
it's what you want.Copy !req
1581. True dat.Copy !req
1582. You know what
you should do,
join a band.Copy !req
1583. That's all it takes, man.Copy !req
1584. Oh, yeah?
Fuck, yeah, dude.Copy !req
1585. You don't even have
to play that well.Copy !req
1586. You start playing
your instrument,Copy !req
1587. and they line up
to give you blowjobs.Copy !req
1588. Except for you.Copy !req
1589. It doesn't impress
the ladies so muchCopy !req
1590. when you play flute
for the marching band.Copy !req
1591. I'm not in the fucking
marching band.Copy !req
1592. Oh, dude, you sure?
I heard you play
the skin flute.Copy !req
1593. All right, I got
a question for you guys.Copy !req
1594. If you think
you're so cool,Copy !req
1595. why you hanging out
with a bunch of 8th graders
on a Friday night?Copy !req
1596. Hey. Fuck you,
you little penis wrinkle.Copy !req
1597. You're lucky
to even be here.Copy !req
1598. This is our camp-out.Copy !req
1599. The only reason you little
cum gums are hereCopy !req
1600. is because fucking
Charlie's mom made himCopy !req
1601. bring his little
asshole brotherCopy !req
1602. and then he drags along
you little dice danglers.Copy !req
1603. Fucking fuzz nut,
talking shit!Copy !req
1604. It's all good, man.Copy !req
1605. These little fuzz nuts
are going to get their
chance soon enough.Copy !req
1606. We got some whores
coming by later.Copy !req
1607. Yeah?
- Hell yeah!Copy !req
1608. Now, I know Chase
will fuck anything.Copy !req
1609. I mean, I've seen this kid
mount boulders before.Copy !req
1610. But what about you guys?
You in?Copy !req
1611. Whatever.
- All right.Copy !req
1612. Good man.
All right.Copy !req
1613. What about you,
Peter Puffer?Copy !req
1614. I don't know. Maybe.Copy !req
1615. Dude, it's okay to be gay.
We understand.Copy !req
1616. Just, you know,
sleep over there.Copy !req
1617. I'm not gay.Copy !req
1618. Give it some time, man.
You'll realize.Copy !req
1619. Fuck y'all.Copy !req
1620. See, that's exactly
my point, man.Copy !req
1621. Nah, but we don't have
whores coming over.Copy !req
1622. We were just
fucking with you
to see what you'd say.Copy !req
1623. And you just earned
your vag badge.Copy !req
1624. Put it next to
your bitch card.Copy !req
1625. Yeah, 'cause, you know,
you're a bitch.Copy !req
1626. Now hold this like
the bitch you are, bitch.Copy !req
1627. All right, this shit is
called the death punch.Copy !req
1628. Jesus!Copy !req
1629. Hey.Copy !req
1630. You guys made it! Good.Copy !req
1631. Oh.Copy !req
1632. There you are.Copy !req
1633. And here you go, hostess.Copy !req
1634. Oh, thank you.
Can I get you a bite?Copy !req
1635. Oh, that's cool.
Thanks.Copy !req
1636. You did that?Copy !req
1637. Yeah.Copy !req
1638. How long have you
been doing that for?Copy !req
1639. Not very long. Um...Copy !req
1640. I went to this camp thing
just this past summer.Copy !req
1641. They have a camp
for graffiti?Copy !req
1642. Well, they call it
"urban art."
Oh.Copy !req
1643. So it sounds, you know,
less illegal,Copy !req
1644. but it was really
just a way to get
free spray paint.Copy !req
1645. Cool. So is this your tag?Copy !req
1646. Is that...
Do they still call it...Copy !req
1647. Yeah, but you know,
it's just letters
that I'm good at writing.Copy !req
1648. It's a "K..."Copy !req
1649. E.Copy !req
1650. "E-Z-J-O."Copy !req
1651. Kez Jo.
That's cool.Copy !req
1652. It doesn't really
mean anything, though.Copy !req
1653. Is that your dad?Copy !req
1654. Yeah.Copy !req
1655. Where's he live?Copy !req
1656. In Houston.Copy !req
1657. Get to see him much?Copy !req
1658. Yeah. Some weekends
and over the summer.Copy !req
1659. Cool.Copy !req
1660. So, you're a student
of my mom's, right?Copy !req
1661. Yeah,
I got one class with her.Copy !req
1662. Yeah, she's cool.Copy !req
1663. How's she doing?
You know, is she a good
teacher and everything?Copy !req
1664. Yeah, she's great!Copy !req
1665. She's super-smart
and she cares, you know.Copy !req
1666. She makes it interesting.Copy !req
1667. She's probably even
my favorite teacher.Copy !req
1668. So, anyway,
we figured out a way
to rig up our iPodsCopy !req
1669. to the external speakers
on the ASB.Copy !req
1670. So every time
we come rolling into town,Copy !req
1671. you knew
the 4-56 was thereCopy !req
1672. 'cause we were bumping
House of Pain.Copy !req
1673. It was like,
"Jump around, jump around."Copy !req
1674. And the whole family's
coming outside,Copy !req
1675. you got the kids
and, uh, the mom
and the dadCopy !req
1676. and they're all
bouncing up and down,Copy !req
1677. we're throwing out
candies for the kidsCopy !req
1678. and soccer balls
and Beanie Babies
and Frisbees, uh,Copy !req
1679. smokes for the adults,Copy !req
1680. and, uh, they loved,
they absolutely
loved Gatorade.Copy !req
1681. But for some reason,
you know, they hated
the lemon-lime flavor.Copy !req
1682. I don't know what it was.Copy !req
1683. Yeah.
Couldn't give it away.Copy !req
1684. How long were you
over there?Copy !req
1685. Uh, I did two tours in Iraq
and one in Bosnia.Copy !req
1686. Did you enlist?Copy !req
1687. Yeah,
I was, um,
Army National Guard,Copy !req
1688. and, you know,
coming straight out
of high school,Copy !req
1689. needed money
for college.Copy !req
1690. Seemed like
a decent paying job.Copy !req
1691. And, uh, did my tour.Copy !req
1692. And whenever I got done
I told them,Copy !req
1693. if there's
a world-changing event,
I'll come back.Copy !req
1694. And, uh, three months later
9/11 happened,
and I was back 9/12.Copy !req
1695. And I'm proud to say
the 4-56, the whole time
we were there,Copy !req
1696. we never lost a guy,
not one casualty.Copy !req
1697. But is that odd?
Is that unusual?Copy !req
1698. Yeah. Uh...Copy !req
1699. Almost impossible.Copy !req
1700. Like, the guys
that came along after us
and replaced us,Copy !req
1701. they didn't listen
to any of our advice.Copy !req
1702. They did, basically,
the polar opposite
of what we did,Copy !req
1703. and they lost seven guys
in the first month.Copy !req
1704. What did you guys
do differently?Copy !req
1705. I like to think
it's just a matter of
mutual respect, you know.Copy !req
1706. All the time
we spent over there
building trust,Copy !req
1707. these guys
basically destroyed it
in three days.Copy !req
1708. So, what did
the locals think about
why we're there?Copy !req
1709. Oil, plain and simple.Copy !req
1710. Hey, Mason.
One last hit.Copy !req
1711. Hey.Copy !req
1712. Mickey Mouse Club.
Get the fuck out of my car.Copy !req
1713. Just crawl out
the back window
or something, man.Copy !req
1714. I'm gonna miss you.Copy !req
1715. I'll see you
on Sunday night.Copy !req
1716. All right.
You better text me.Copy !req
1717. Do you have any gum?
Um...Copy !req
1718. Yeah, I do, actually.
Here you go.Copy !req
1719. Thanks. See ya.Copy !req
1720. And they're buying
this party line that
they're supposed to feel badCopy !req
1721. and trade off
their own pension,Copy !req
1722. as if that's what's been
corrupting this nation.Copy !req
1723. Yeah, because
those who heart Fox,Copy !req
1724. in my opinion,
are being lied to.Copy !req
1725. Yeah,
thank God for Wisconsin.Copy !req
1726. We have to follow
that example.Copy !req
1727. You're right.Copy !req
1728. Hey, Mason,
what time is it?Copy !req
1729. Uh, like 12:15.Copy !req
1730. Happy birthday.Copy !req
1731. Happy birthday!Copy !req
1732. Mason.Copy !req
1733. It's your birthday?Copy !req
1734. Just now, I guess.Copy !req
1735. Yeah, how old are you?Copy !req
1736. Fifteen.Copy !req
1737. Fifteen. Give me a hug.Copy !req
1738. Happy birthday.
Oh, my goodness!Copy !req
1739. Have you been drinking?Copy !req
1740. Have you?Copy !req
1741. Yeah, a little.
Have you?Copy !req
1742. A little bit.Copy !req
1743. Have you been...Copy !req
1744. A little bit.Copy !req
1745. Oh.Copy !req
1746. Oh...Copy !req
1747. I'm gonna go to sleep.Copy !req
1748. Talk in the morning, huh?Copy !req
1749. Hey, Dad.Copy !req
1750. Hey! How you doing?
Good.Copy !req
1751. Whose car is that?
That's our car.Copy !req
1752. Hop on in there.
Hey.Copy !req
1753. Hi, sweetie.Copy !req
1754. Oh...Copy !req
1755. Hey, Cooper.Copy !req
1756. Hey! How's it going?Copy !req
1757. Hello, little brother.Copy !req
1758. He's so cute.Copy !req
1759. Can we just replace
that part of the pipe?Copy !req
1760. No, is no good.
Everything is no good.Copy !req
1761. Everything. Yes, mira.Copy !req
1762. This one is...Copy !req
1763. Stronger.Copy !req
1764. Yes. This is better,
yes, yes, yes.Copy !req
1765. Hey, listen, thanks
for that camera
you got Mason.Copy !req
1766. Oh, yeah, Mason's
all into the photography.
He's loving that thing.Copy !req
1767. Yeah, I know.Copy !req
1768. He's actually talking
about turning his, uh,
closet into a darkroom.Copy !req
1769. Like the red light
and the developing,
the whole nine...Copy !req
1770. You all right with that?Copy !req
1771. I probably won't
see him for a week.
Oh, yeah. Right.Copy !req
1772. But he's having
a good time.Copy !req
1773. At least he's focused
on something.
Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
1774. That's what I like.
Yeah, he's all about it.Copy !req
1775. Okay, let's go grande.Copy !req
1776. It's good?
It's better, yes.
It's good.Copy !req
1777. You know, you're smart.
You should be in school.Copy !req
1778. Oh,
I like school,
I need school,Copy !req
1779. but it's hard,
I working all day.Copy !req
1780. Go to night school
at community college.
It's pretty affordable.Copy !req
1781. You're doing a nice job
with the house.
It's looking great.Copy !req
1782. Oh, thanks.
Really great.Copy !req
1783. Yeah, you know,
some fix-its here
and there.Copy !req
1784. We got a good deal
on a foreclosure,
so now I'm finding out why.Copy !req
1785. Yeah, really.
Hey, bud!
Hey.Copy !req
1786. Happy birthday, huh?
What's that?Copy !req
1787. What's that?
That's our new car.
Get in it.Copy !req
1788. All right.
Have a good weekend.Copy !req
1789. How you doing?Copy !req
1790. Good to see you.
You, too.Copy !req
1791. Hey!Copy !req
1792. Hey, how are you?Copy !req
1793. Ooh...Copy !req
1794. You look great.
Ooh!
Thanks.Copy !req
1795. Look at him!
Aw, he's got Mason's nose.Copy !req
1796. Yeah,
isn't he cute?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1797. All right!
- Love you guys.Copy !req
1798. We got a big drive
ahead of us.Copy !req
1799. Bye, Sam.Copy !req
1800. You guys drive safe.Copy !req
1801. All right. Well,
we'll be back tomorrow night.Copy !req
1802. Bye, honey.
I'm so glad you were born!Copy !req
1803. So, this is like Annie's car
and you drive the GTO?Copy !req
1804. I guess you can't really
put a baby seat
in that thing.Copy !req
1805. Yeah, no. But I had
to sell that anyway.Copy !req
1806. You what?Copy !req
1807. Yeah, I had to sell that.Copy !req
1808. So it's gone?Copy !req
1809. Yeah, some sucker
collector from CaliforniaCopy !req
1810. paid 22 grand for it,
which is greatCopy !req
1811. 'cause I basically got
to pay for this in cash.Copy !req
1812. I only paid
$8,500 for that thing
way back when.Copy !req
1813. Cars are generally
a terrible investment,
you know.Copy !req
1814. Soon as you drive
them off the lot,Copy !req
1815. you got a used car
on your hands,Copy !req
1816. and the value's only
dropping from there.Copy !req
1817. But if you
take care of it,
you know,Copy !req
1818. and you get lucky
and it's a classic,Copy !req
1819. the value starts
going up again.Copy !req
1820. Shit, you got guys
paying hundreds
of thousands of dollarsCopy !req
1821. for some Shelby Cobra.Copy !req
1822. What?Copy !req
1823. You don't remember?Copy !req
1824. Remember what?
Really?Copy !req
1825. You said that was
going to be my car
when I turned 16.Copy !req
1826. What? No,
I didn't. I never said that.Copy !req
1827. I remember.
I was in third gradeCopy !req
1828. and you were taking me
over to Anthony Nadar's
house for his birthday,Copy !req
1829. and we were there early,
so we gave him
a ride around the block,Copy !req
1830. and he was talking
about how much
he loved your car,Copy !req
1831. and so you were all like,
"Oh, this is gonna be Mason's
when he turns 16."Copy !req
1832. All right, first off,
I have no memory
of that, all right?Copy !req
1833. Second of all,
I would never say that.
Never.Copy !req
1834. Oh, you did, though.Copy !req
1835. What?Copy !req
1836. Mason.Copy !req
1837. Come on,
what about your sister?Copy !req
1838. I'm just gonna
forget about her?Copy !req
1839. Come on,
how's that fair? Huh?Copy !req
1840. Anthony Nagar. What...Copy !req
1841. Are you...Copy !req
1842. Oh, come on!Copy !req
1843. I mean, you're not...Copy !req
1844. Look, you can sit there
like there's a death
in the family, all right,Copy !req
1845. but bottom line is,
that was my car.
All right?Copy !req
1846. I paid for it,
I took care of it,Copy !req
1847. and I can do whatever
I want with it. All right?Copy !req
1848. I'm sorry if you had
other ideas about it,
but when you get older,Copy !req
1849. you can save up
and buy a car of your own.Copy !req
1850. Be cool like I used to be.Copy !req
1851. Or you can get a minivan.Copy !req
1852. Does your mom actually
let you watch this?Copy !req
1853. Yeah. She likes it, too.Copy !req
1854. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1855. Okay, well,
have you ever seen
her in concert?Copy !req
1856. No, but she's coming
to Houston in April.Copy !req
1857. She's coming to Houston?Copy !req
1858. Your dad and I could
get you tickets
and you could stay with us.Copy !req
1859. That'd be great!
Yeah.Copy !req
1860. Hey, Annie?
- Yup.Copy !req
1861. Will you get me the little
birthday present for Mason?Copy !req
1862. Here, babe.
All right.Copy !req
1863. This one needs
a little explanation, okay?Copy !req
1864. Open it up.Copy !req
1865. I call that
the Beatles Black Album.Copy !req
1866. What it is, is the best of
John, Paul, George and Ringo,Copy !req
1867. solo, post-breakup.Copy !req
1868. Thanks.Copy !req
1869. Basically, I put the band
back together for you.Copy !req
1870. Whenever
you listen to too much
of the solo stuff,Copy !req
1871. it kind of becomes a drag,
you know?Copy !req
1872. But you put them next
to each other, right,Copy !req
1873. and they start
to elevate each other,Copy !req
1874. and then you can hear it.Copy !req
1875. It's The Beatles,
you know?Copy !req
1876. I don't know.
I think I always just
liked Paul the best.Copy !req
1877. It doesn't matter, you know,
you're missing the point.Copy !req
1878. There is no favorite Beatle!Copy !req
1879. That's what I'm saying.
It's in the balance.Copy !req
1880. That's what made them
the greatest fucking rock bandCopy !req
1881. in the world, okay?Copy !req
1882. And there's this decade
of music out thereCopy !req
1883. that's been scattered,
all right,Copy !req
1884. and now it has been
carefully found, arranged
and ordered for youCopy !req
1885. by your loving father.Copy !req
1886. Very arranged
and very organized,Copy !req
1887. over and over again
by your loving father.Copy !req
1888. Yes, yes, yes.Copy !req
1889. So, I mean,
look at that, look at that.Copy !req
1890. Uh, top of Volume ll,
first four tracks,Copy !req
1891. you've got Band on the Run
into My Sweet LordCopy !req
1892. into Jealous Guy
into Photograph. Come on!Copy !req
1893. It's like the perfect segue.Copy !req
1894. You got Paul,
who takes you to the party,Copy !req
1895. George who talks
to you about God,Copy !req
1896. John is just, "No,
it's about love and pain,"Copy !req
1897. and then Ringo
who just says,Copy !req
1898. "Hey. Can't we enjoy
what we have
while we have it?"Copy !req
1899. It's a good record.
I shit you not.Copy !req
1900. Cool.Copy !req
1901. Hey, there, Cliff.
Hey, how you doing?Copy !req
1902. Good. How you doing?
Hi, birthday boy!Copy !req
1903. It's good to see you.Copy !req
1904. Ah, it's great
to see you.
Yeah.Copy !req
1905. You made it
all right, huh?Copy !req
1906. Yeah, we sure did.
We sure did.Copy !req
1907. How are you, darling?Copy !req
1908. Let's just get this one...
All right, we ready?Copy !req
1909. Yeah.Copy !req
1910. Wait.Copy !req
1911. Hey, Sam.Copy !req
1912. Wait, wait, wait.
Come on.Copy !req
1913. Hey, still sleeping here?Copy !req
1914. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
1915. Hey, buddy.Copy !req
1916. Oh!Copy !req
1917. Make a wish,
make a wish.Copy !req
1918. Real good! Presents!
Wait, wait, wait.
Here, sweetie.Copy !req
1919. Sam,
would you get us a knife
so we can cut this up?Copy !req
1920. All right.Copy !req
1921. I hope you like it.
I heard you
didn't have one, so.Copy !req
1922. It's a Bible.
This is your first
Bible.Copy !req
1923. Look,
there's your name.Copy !req
1924. In gold.
And wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
1925. Look at this.Copy !req
1926. It's a red-letter edition,Copy !req
1927. and that means that
everything that
Jesus said is in red.Copy !req
1928. Thank you.
You like it?
All right.Copy !req
1929. I love you, sweetie.
Happy birthday.Copy !req
1930. And this
one's from us.Copy !req
1931. Oh, yeah, here.Copy !req
1932. It's not going to make
all your dreams
come true here.Copy !req
1933. Just keep
your expectations low.Copy !req
1934. No, you need it.
It's...Copy !req
1935. Come on, right?
You gotta have it.
You need this.Copy !req
1936. You got life ahead of you.Copy !req
1937. And the shirt is blue.Copy !req
1938. You got dances
and job interviews.Copy !req
1939. Here, I'm going to get
it all wrinkled here.Copy !req
1940. Mason? Come here, son.
Uh-oh.Copy !req
1941. Pull that off.Copy !req
1942. There's a 20-gauge shotgun.Copy !req
1943. My dad gave it to me
when I was a little
younger than you,Copy !req
1944. and his dad gave it to him.Copy !req
1945. Well, you're 15
and I'd like for you
to have it, all right?Copy !req
1946. Here, you hold it.Copy !req
1947. Yeah?Copy !req
1948. Thank you.
Congratulations, son.Copy !req
1949. I'll teach you
how to clean it,Copy !req
1950. teach you how to fire it.Copy !req
1951. I'll teach you
a little bit of safety.Copy !req
1952. Now cock it.
All right, there you go.Copy !req
1953. Now, what you want to do
is line up the front sight
with the back sight.Copy !req
1954. Here, you see this
little V right here?Copy !req
1955. Now which one
you aiming at?Copy !req
1956. Uh, the middle can.Copy !req
1957. The middle can?
All right.Copy !req
1958. Now fire at will,
all right?Copy !req
1959. Yeah!Copy !req
1960. All right, watch out,
watch out.
Be careful. All right.Copy !req
1961. Ready?Copy !req
1962. Pull!Copy !req
1963. Oh, you hit a little low.Copy !req
1964. Wait till it gets up high,
then shoot, all right?Copy !req
1965. 'Cause then it's a better
aim coming down.Copy !req
1966. Remember, second trigger.Copy !req
1967. Ready?Copy !req
1968. Pull!Copy !req
1969. Look what you did!
Well, you nailed it,
didn't you?Copy !req
1970. How did that feel?
Felt good.Copy !req
1971. Yeah, it felt good. Good.Copy !req
1972. Well, I want for us
to be together foreverCopy !req
1973. But to wander
wherever I mayCopy !req
1974. I want you to be
easy and casualCopy !req
1975. But still demand I stayCopy !req
1976. I want for you
to know me completelyCopy !req
1977. But still remain
mysteriousCopy !req
1978. Consider
everything deeplyCopy !req
1979. But still remain fearlessCopy !req
1980. Climb to the top
Look over the ledgeCopy !req
1981. Dance barefoot
on a razor's edgeCopy !req
1982. Reach for the stars
Grab a tiger by the tailCopy !req
1983. If I don't try,
I'll never failCopy !req
1984. If you go home
You're rolling the diceCopy !req
1985. Can't step
in the same river twiceCopy !req
1986. You love too much
It'll turn to hateCopy !req
1987. You never leave home
You'll never be lateCopy !req
1988. You eat too much
You're gonna get fatCopy !req
1989. If you buy a dog
You'll piss off your catCopy !req
1990. So take a deep breath
and enjoy the rideCopy !req
1991. 'Cause arrivals and departures
Run side by sideCopy !req
1992. Oh!Copy !req
1993. You're our
first audience,
you know?Copy !req
1994. Mason demanded
we work on it
the whole time.Copy !req
1995. Thank you, thank you,
thank you.Copy !req
1996. It's a work in progress.Copy !req
1997. A week later,
we don't know whyCopy !req
1998. Thomas wasn't there
the first time, uh,Copy !req
1999. but a week later,
Thomas comes backCopy !req
2000. and joins
the other disciples.Copy !req
2001. They say,
"The Lord's alive,
we saw him!"Copy !req
2002. "I won't believe it
until I put my finger
into his side,Copy !req
2003. "and I wanna see
those nail prints
in his hands."Copy !req
2004. About that time,
here comes JesusCopy !req
2005. standing right
next to him, okay?Copy !req
2006. And he turns to Thomas.
Don't you know,
Thomas felt some shame.Copy !req
2007. He turns to Thomas
and says,Copy !req
2008. "Thomas, here, stick
your finger in my side.Copy !req
2009. "Look at these nail prints.
It's me."Copy !req
2010. And Thomas says,
"My Lord and my God,
I believe."Copy !req
2011. And Jesus said,
"Well, that's good,Copy !req
2012. "but blessed are those
who can believe
without seeing."Copy !req
2013. It's a lot easier
when you can see
and feel and touch,Copy !req
2014. but like us,
we haven't seen him
in the flesh,Copy !req
2015. we haven't felt him
in the flesh,Copy !req
2016. but we have
experienced him
in the spirit.Copy !req
2017. At least, I have,
and I hope y'all have, too.Copy !req
2018. The pond's right up here.Copy !req
2019. Ooh, it's low.Copy !req
2020. Yeah.Copy !req
2021. You know,
my dad could
take you fishingCopy !req
2022. next time you're here
if you want.Copy !req
2023. Thanks.Copy !req
2024. Hi, baby.
What's goin' on?Copy !req
2025. No, I think
we're just gonna
hang here for a minute.Copy !req
2026. You want me
to stay with you?Copy !req
2027. No, it's okay.
You sure?Copy !req
2028. Yeah. Thanks.Copy !req
2029. Mason, why are you
such a stick-in-the-mud?Copy !req
2030. What are you
even talking about?Copy !req
2031. You guys don't mind
coming back here
on the 20th, do you,Copy !req
2032. for Cooper's baptism?Copy !req
2033. No, that's fine.
Sam?Copy !req
2034. I appreciate it.Copy !req
2035. It means a lot to Annie
and her folks, you know.Copy !req
2036. Were we baptized?Copy !req
2037. I wasn't the least bit
concerned with the state
of your soul.Copy !req
2038. We can do it now,
though, if you want.Copy !req
2039. No, I think
I'm all right.Copy !req
2040. You and Cooper together,
you know.Copy !req
2041. Dunk your heads.Copy !req
2042. You're not becoming
one of those God people,
are you, Dad?Copy !req
2043. And what's that
supposed to mean, huh?Copy !req
2044. I can hear you!Copy !req
2045. I think that shotgun
should live
at my house, huh?Copy !req
2046. I don't think your mom
would love that.Copy !req
2047. Look out, Sam.Copy !req
2048. Let me show you
how it's done.Copy !req
2049. Nice, Dad.Copy !req
2050. Still got the goods?Copy !req
2051. How long you been
in here, Mason?Copy !req
2052. I'm not sure.Copy !req
2053. I'm sure.Copy !req
2054. All class.Copy !req
2055. Did you complete
your image diary?Copy !req
2056. Not yet.Copy !req
2057. Completed your, uh,
digital contact sheet?Copy !req
2058. Not quite, but it's
not gonna take me long.Copy !req
2059. Not yet. Not quite.Copy !req
2060. Dark room time
is extra-curricular.Copy !req
2061. I mean, technically,
you don't ever have
to be in here these days,Copy !req
2062. and certainly not until
you've completed
your assignments.Copy !req
2063. That's the deal.Copy !req
2064. Sorry.Copy !req
2065. I'm worried about
you, Mason.Copy !req
2066. Why is that?Copy !req
2067. I'll tell you why.Copy !req
2068. The images
you're turning in,
they're cool.Copy !req
2069. You're looking at things
in a really unique way.Copy !req
2070. Got a lot of natural talent.Copy !req
2071. Thanks.Copy !req
2072. Yeah, but that
and 50 centsCopy !req
2073. will just get you
a cup of coffee
in this old world.Copy !req
2074. I've met a lot
of talented people
over the years.Copy !req
2075. How many of them
made it professionallyCopy !req
2076. without discipline,
commitmentCopy !req
2077. and a really good
work ethic?Copy !req
2078. I can tell you.
I can count it
on two fingers.Copy !req
2079. Zero.Copy !req
2080. It's not gonna happen
for you, Mason.Copy !req
2081. The world is too competitive.Copy !req
2082. There are too many
talented people who are
willing to work hard,Copy !req
2083. and a butt load of morons
who are untalentedCopy !req
2084. who are more than
willing to surpass you.Copy !req
2085. As a matter of fact,
a lot of them are sitting
in that classroomCopy !req
2086. out there right now?Copy !req
2087. You know what they're doing?Copy !req
2088. They're doing
their assignments.Copy !req
2089. Which is what you're
supposed to be doing,
but you're not.Copy !req
2090. You're in here.Copy !req
2091. Now why is that?Copy !req
2092. You special, Mason?Copy !req
2093. No, but the things
you're talking about,Copy !req
2094. like work ethic
or whatever,Copy !req
2095. I feel like I do
work pretty hard.Copy !req
2096. I spend the whole weekend
taking pictures
a lot of times.Copy !req
2097. You like football, Mason?Copy !req
2098. Not really.Copy !req
2099. Yeah, I know you don't.Copy !req
2100. That's why
I've just assigned youCopy !req
2101. to shoot the football
game tonight. Okay?Copy !req
2102. It starts at 7:30,
I want you
to get there early,Copy !req
2103. I want you to shoot
a full card, 300 images,
I want them downloaded,Copy !req
2104. I want them sorted,
and I want to see them
very first thing Monday.Copy !req
2105. You want to know
why I'm doing this?Copy !req
2106. I guess.Copy !req
2107. Who do you want
to be, Mason?Copy !req
2108. What do you want to do?Copy !req
2109. I want to take pictures.
Make art.Copy !req
2110. Any dipshit can
take pictures, Mason.Copy !req
2111. Art, that's special.Copy !req
2112. What can you bring to it
that nobody else can?Copy !req
2113. That's what
I'm trying to find out.Copy !req
2114. Try harder.Copy !req
2115. Maybe in 20 years you can
call old Mr. Turlington
and you can say,Copy !req
2116. "Thank you, sir,Copy !req
2117. "for that terrific
darkroom chat
we had that day."Copy !req
2118. Get back to class
and do your work.Copy !req
2119. Hey, man,
you're walkin'
a little funny.Copy !req
2120. Fuck you.Copy !req
2121. I'm just saying,
you guys were in there
for a long time.Copy !req
2122. Just hope he bought
you dinner first.Copy !req
2123. Mason! Honey,
come down for dinner.Copy !req
2124. Samantha! You didn't
post these pictures
and their descriptions?Copy !req
2125. Come on.
This auction is gonna
end on Sunday, honey.Copy !req
2126. You've gotta get
those posted.Copy !req
2127. Why are we even doing this?Copy !req
2128. It's like an online
junk shop.Copy !req
2129. I thought you had
a good job.Copy !req
2130. I do. We're what
you call house poor.Copy !req
2131. Everyone's got
to do their part.Copy !req
2132. Your brother took
the pictures.Copy !req
2133. You have to help.Copy !req
2134. Who even buys this shit?Copy !req
2135. Hey. Sam, watch your mouth,
all right?Copy !req
2136. Don't disrespect
your mother.Copy !req
2137. You like a roof
over your head,
don't you?Copy !req
2138. Yeah, and you like
having electricityCopy !req
2139. so that you can charge
your cell phone?Copy !req
2140. I'm not even gonna
be here next year.Copy !req
2141. I'm a senior.
I should be having fun.Copy !req
2142. Nice nails.Copy !req
2143. Yeah, some girl did
that in sixth period.Copy !req
2144. You planning
on keeping them?Copy !req
2145. Until it comes off,
I guess.Copy !req
2146. Last summer
it was the earrings,
and now the nails.Copy !req
2147. You got a purse
to go with all that?Copy !req
2148. A lot of guys do that.
He's just trying to be cool.Copy !req
2149. When I was in high school,
having a job,Copy !req
2150. being responsible,
being able to afford a car,
that was cool.Copy !req
2151. Mason, honey,Copy !req
2152. why don't you get
you and your sister
some water.Copy !req
2153. Hey, man, Turlington says
to cut the artsy crap
and shoot the game.Copy !req
2154. So take your lens
and point it that way.Copy !req
2155. Jesus Christ.Copy !req
2156. Also, we got a ride.Copy !req
2157. McCormick's gonna
take us to the party.Copy !req
2158. We're gonna head out
after the game.Copy !req
2159. You're goin', okay?Copy !req
2160. Okay.Copy !req
2161. Shoot the game.Copy !req
2162. First one! What was that?
What was that? What is up?Copy !req
2163. Hey, what's up?
Hey.Copy !req
2164. How's it goin'?Copy !req
2165. Pretty good.Copy !req
2166. How long have
you been here?Copy !req
2167. I don't know.
A while, I guess.Copy !req
2168. A while?Copy !req
2169. I just feel like there are
so many things that
I could be doingCopy !req
2170. and probably want
to be doing
that I'm just not.Copy !req
2171. Why aren't you?Copy !req
2172. I mean, I guess
it's just being afraid of
what people would think.Copy !req
2173. You know, judgment.
Yeah.Copy !req
2174. I guess it's really easy
to say like,Copy !req
2175. "I don't care
what anyone else thinks,"Copy !req
2176. but everyone does,
you know?
Exactly.Copy !req
2177. Deep down.Copy !req
2178. I find myself so furious
at all these people
that I'm in contact withCopy !req
2179. just for controlling me
or whatever,Copy !req
2180. but, you know,
they're not even aware
they're doing it.Copy !req
2181. Yeah.Copy !req
2182. So, in this perfect world,
where no one's
controlling you,Copy !req
2183. what's different?
What changes?Copy !req
2184. Everything.Copy !req
2185. I mean, I just wanna be
able to do anything I want,Copy !req
2186. because it makes me
feel alive.Copy !req
2187. As opposed to giving me
the appearance of normality.Copy !req
2188. Whatever that means.Copy !req
2189. I don't think
it means much.Copy !req
2190. You're kinda weird,
you know that?Copy !req
2191. Yeah?Copy !req
2192. Is that a compliment?Copy !req
2193. I don't know.
Do you wanna be weird?Copy !req
2194. I mean, I don't want to
like scare kids at the park,
or anything like that.Copy !req
2195. I really like
talking with you.Copy !req
2196. I don't usually
even try to vocalize
my thoughtsCopy !req
2197. or feelings
or anything.Copy !req
2198. I don't know,
it never sounds right.
Words are stupid.Copy !req
2199. So, why are you
trying with me?Copy !req
2200. I don't know.
I guess I feel comfortable.Copy !req
2201. I'm glad.Copy !req
2202. Hey, Jim.Copy !req
2203. I'm sorry I'm so late.Copy !req
2204. What time are you
supposed to be home?Copy !req
2205. I don't know.
A while ago.Copy !req
2206. While ago like,
30 minutes ago,
an hour ago?Copy !req
2207. 'Cause truthfully
nobody even knewCopy !req
2208. where you were
until your sister told us.Copy !req
2209. She's been home
for a while.Copy !req
2210. I'm sorry.Copy !req
2211. Yeah, been hearin'
a lot of that lately.Copy !req
2212. See, but you
don't actually care.Copy !req
2213. You just kinda come
and go as you please,Copy !req
2214. and you don't care
if your mom's upset,Copy !req
2215. or what time
you gotta be home.Copy !req
2216. Is that what's up?Copy !req
2217. I don't know
what to tell you.Copy !req
2218. Stop mumbling!Copy !req
2219. You know, speak up!Copy !req
2220. I can't understand
a word comin' out
of your mouth.Copy !req
2221. It's just like...Copy !req
2222. And I ask you questions
and you just...Copy !req
2223. Can I just have one day
where everyone
isn't all over my ass?Copy !req
2224. I'm up your ass?Copy !req
2225. This is my house.
All right?Copy !req
2226. If you wanna live
in my house,Copy !req
2227. then you get home
when you say
you're gonna be home.Copy !req
2228. You know, Jim,
you're not my dad.Copy !req
2229. No, I'm not your dad.Copy !req
2230. You know how I know that?
'Cause I'm actually here.Copy !req
2231. I'm the guy with the job,
payin' the bills,Copy !req
2232. takin' care of you,
your mom, your sister,
huh? Huh?Copy !req
2233. I'm that guy!Copy !req
2234. Morning.
Morning.Copy !req
2235. Hey. Which one of you guys
used the downstairs
bathroom last night?Copy !req
2236. I don't know.
I didn't.Copy !req
2237. That tall guy,
what's his name?Copy !req
2238. Phillip?Copy !req
2239. Yeah, Phillip.
He did it.
Can Phillip read?Copy !req
2240. You know, there's
a big sign on the door.Copy !req
2241. It says,
"Do not use this bathroom,
it's broken."Copy !req
2242. I mean,
how difficult is that?Copy !req
2243. I don't know.
I'm sorry.Copy !req
2244. I think I'm gonna
put the house
on the market.Copy !req
2245. Why?Copy !req
2246. This house is too big for us.Copy !req
2247. You're going to
school eventually.Copy !req
2248. It's too expensive.
I'm done.Copy !req
2249. Why did you even buy it
in the first place then?Copy !req
2250. Because I really enjoy
making poor life decisions,Copy !req
2251. keeping us on
the brink of poverty.Copy !req
2252. I've spent
the first half of my life
acquiring all this crap,Copy !req
2253. and now I'm gonna spend
the second half of my lifeCopy !req
2254. getting rid
of all this stuff.Copy !req
2255. Really? Like what?Copy !req
2256. Well, I got rid of
a couple husbands,Copy !req
2257. now I'm gonna get rid
of a mortgage,Copy !req
2258. some maintenance,
the tchotchskes,Copy !req
2259. the homeowner's insurance,
the property tax,
the plumbing.Copy !req
2260. You know what?
From now on,Copy !req
2261. I am gonna be Mommy Monk.Copy !req
2262. Simple. Celibate.Copy !req
2263. Don't be gross, Mom.Copy !req
2264. Fine.Copy !req
2265. I'll be a poor whore
with a big house.Copy !req
2266. Is that better?Copy !req
2267. Okay.Copy !req
2268. Mason, please,
don't leave me
that dirty dish to wash.Copy !req
2269. I do dishes all day.Copy !req
2270. Oh, great! Honey,
then you're a professional.Copy !req
2271. Come on, you could do
one or two more
for your poor old mom.Copy !req
2272. Okay.Copy !req
2273. Thank you.Copy !req
2274. You want one?Copy !req
2275. Oh, God!Copy !req
2276. She didn't even
touch them, seriously.Copy !req
2277. I watched her
the whole time.Copy !req
2278. I bet you did watch her,
you little pervert.Copy !req
2279. It's like
we're on a date.Copy !req
2280. Cheers.Copy !req
2281. It's a night of romance.Copy !req
2282. Yeah, except
I'm not gonna kiss you.Copy !req
2283. I will blow you, though.Copy !req
2284. Mason! We are in
the weeds out here!Copy !req
2285. I'm goin' as fast
as I can.Copy !req
2286. Oh, then I must be
confused then,Copy !req
2287. 'cause I just saw you
chattin' it up with April,Copy !req
2288. when I got a salad bar
that needs a refill,Copy !req
2289. I got a six-top,
two four-tops I can't useCopy !req
2290. because they
haven't been bussed!Copy !req
2291. Enrique is not here.
I'm tryin'.Copy !req
2292. Well, while you're tryin',
we're dyin'!Copy !req
2293. What am I supposed
to tell my customers?Copy !req
2294. "Oh, I'm sorry
that your table's got
dirty plates on it,Copy !req
2295. "but Mason's trying.Copy !req
2296. "At least that's
what he told me.Copy !req
2297. "After he was flirtin'
with April and eatin'
your leftover shrimp."Copy !req
2298. Now it is a challenge
out there today, I know,Copy !req
2299. but I wanna share
something with you.Copy !req
2300. I got you pegged
for fry cook this summer,Copy !req
2301. and that's a lot
more responsibility.Copy !req
2302. It's also more money.
How's that sound?Copy !req
2303. Good.Copy !req
2304. I know you can
handle that money,Copy !req
2305. but can you take
the responsibility?Copy !req
2306. I think you can,
because I believe in you.Copy !req
2307. But I need you on the floor.Copy !req
2308. Now leave the dishes.
Giddy up.Copy !req
2309. All right, come on!
Don't let me down!Copy !req
2310. Well, so it's runnin' okay?
That alternator's
not messin' up anymore?Copy !req
2311. No, it's fine.
It's up for the trip.Copy !req
2312. Good.Copy !req
2313. Are you gonna see your sister
when you guys are in Austin?Copy !req
2314. Yeah, she said
I can stay at her dorm,
which is cool.Copy !req
2315. And I guess her
roommate's out of town,
so it's no big deal.Copy !req
2316. All right.
Did you apply there yet?Copy !req
2317. Did you get that
application in to UT?Copy !req
2318. Not yet, but Sheena's
pretty much in, though.Copy !req
2319. Right. Well,
if you know that's
where you wanna go,Copy !req
2320. you should probably do
that early acceptance thing,
you know?Copy !req
2321. Seriously, let 'em know
you're a man who knows
what he wants.Copy !req
2322. Yeah.Copy !req
2323. A little bit of decisiveness
goes a long way in
this life, all right?Copy !req
2324. Yeah.
Great.Copy !req
2325. And what about work?
How's that goin'?Copy !req
2326. Uh, I don't know.
It's all right.Copy !req
2327. Today kind of sucked.
This guy didn't show up.Copy !req
2328. But it's definitely
an interesting perspective
on the world.Copy !req
2329. People are slobs.Copy !req
2330. Well, when people
ask me about you,
I say to them,Copy !req
2331. "Mason, he's doing great.Copy !req
2332. "He's got a job,
he's really cleanin' up."Copy !req
2333. All right, say hi to Annie
and Cooper, will you?Copy !req
2334. Say hi to your big brother.
"Hey, big brother."Copy !req
2335. Hey, Annie.
Hey, kiddo.Copy !req
2336. Can you say bye-bye?Copy !req
2337. Bye-bye!Copy !req
2338. We'll see you soon.Copy !req
2339. All right.
Well, be careful when
you're driving, all right?Copy !req
2340. Don't be texting,
don't be doing any of that.
All right, just...Copy !req
2341. You're Obi-Wan.
You're centered, patient.
Right?Copy !req
2342. You watch three cars ahead,
two behind.Copy !req
2343. Takes two bad drivers
to have an accident, okay?Copy !req
2344. Okay.Copy !req
2345. Listen, tell your sister
to pick up her phone
or call me back or something.Copy !req
2346. Okay.
All right, buddy.Copy !req
2347. You have a good one.
Bye, Dad.Copy !req
2348. Hey, honey, take this
to your sister.Copy !req
2349. Throw it in the truck, okay?Copy !req
2350. Okay, I will.Copy !req
2351. So where
is Sheena staying?Copy !req
2352. At her friend Emily's.Copy !req
2353. ls Emily a real person?Copy !req
2354. Yeah.Copy !req
2355. Yeah, she's a sophomore.
She has an apartment.Copy !req
2356. Okay, this is in case
of emergency.Copy !req
2357. Don't spend it,
I want it back.Copy !req
2358. Okay. Thanks.Copy !req
2359. Did you do
your homework?Copy !req
2360. Most of it, but I can
finish tomorrow night.Copy !req
2361. Honey, 11th grade
is really important
for college. Don't blow it.Copy !req
2362. I know, I know.
I mean, we're going to UT
and everything.Copy !req
2363. Oh, don't you want
me to come?Copy !req
2364. "Come on, Sheena,
road trip with Mom!"
I'll pay for gas.Copy !req
2365. Fine.Copy !req
2366. Just kidding.
I have work.Copy !req
2367. Call me when
you get there.Copy !req
2368. I will.Copy !req
2369. Have fun!Copy !req
2370. That sounds to me
like just anotherCopy !req
2371. extreme Mason
view of everything.Copy !req
2372. Not at all!
I finally figured it out.Copy !req
2373. It's like when they
realized it was gonna be
too expensiveCopy !req
2374. to actually build
cyborgs and robots.Copy !req
2375. I mean, the costs
of that were impossible.Copy !req
2376. They decided to
just let humansCopy !req
2377. turn themselves
into robots.Copy !req
2378. That's what's
going on right now.Copy !req
2379. Oh, right now?Copy !req
2380. Yeah! I mean, why not?Copy !req
2381. They're billions of us
just laying around,
not really doing anything.Copy !req
2382. We don't cost anything.Copy !req
2383. We're even pretty good
at self-maintenance
and reproducing constantly.Copy !req
2384. And as it turns out,
we're already
biologically programmedCopy !req
2385. for our little
cyborg upgrades.Copy !req
2386. How?
Seriously.Copy !req
2387. I read this thing
the other day about how...Copy !req
2388. When you hear
that ding on your inbox,Copy !req
2389. you get like
a dopamine rush
in your brain.Copy !req
2390. It's like we're being
chemically rewardedCopy !req
2391. for allowing ourselves
to be brainwashed.Copy !req
2392. How evil is that?
We're fucked.Copy !req
2393. So you deleting
your Facebook page
is gonna change all that?Copy !req
2394. Remember when Trevor deleted
his Facebook page last yearCopy !req
2395. and everyone just hated him?Copy !req
2396. You made more fun
of him than anyone.Copy !req
2397. I still make fun
of Trevor though.Copy !req
2398. It was like he was
so pathetically desperate
for attention.Copy !req
2399. Or to be different,
or something.Copy !req
2400. That's just 'cause
they did that lame story
about it in the school paper.Copy !req
2401. And then he had to make
a big announcement about itCopy !req
2402. when he came back
a month later.Copy !req
2403. That's the thing, though,
I'm not doing it
for attention.Copy !req
2404. I just wanna try
and not live my life
through a screen.Copy !req
2405. I want some kind of
actual interaction.Copy !req
2406. A real person,
not just the profile
they put up.Copy !req
2407. Oh, I'm sorry.
Were you saying something?Copy !req
2408. Yeah, okay,
I know you're joking.Copy !req
2409. But, I mean,
it's kind of true.Copy !req
2410. You have been, you know,
checking your phone
this whole time,Copy !req
2411. so, what're you
really doing?Copy !req
2412. You don't care what
your friends are up to
on a Saturday afternoon,Copy !req
2413. but you're also obviously
not fully experiencing
my profound bitching.Copy !req
2414. So, yeah, it's like
everyone's just stuck in
like an in-between state.Copy !req
2415. Not really
experiencing anything.Copy !req
2416. It's not an experience,
it's just information.Copy !req
2417. Look. For example,Copy !req
2418. I just got the address
of the club where
we're meeting them later,Copy !req
2419. so we won't be wandering
the streets of Austin
lost for an hour tonight.Copy !req
2420. Thank you
very much, Facebook.Copy !req
2421. And then I just texted
my mom back.Copy !req
2422. Oh, that's groundbreaking.Copy !req
2423. She hasn't seen you in,
like, 55 minutes?Copy !req
2424. Oh...Copy !req
2425. Oh, my God,
most importantly,Copy !req
2426. Meg's family just got
a miniature pet pig.Copy !req
2427. Okay, you're right.
That is a really cute,
tiny pig.Copy !req
2428. Our lives can go on.Copy !req
2429. I want one.Copy !req
2430. Nice shot.Copy !req
2431. Yeah, just give the lady
at the front y'all's IDsCopy !req
2432. and, uh,
she should let you in.Copy !req
2433. It's Room 206, right?
Awesome.Copy !req
2434. It's not weird that
we're staying there, is it?Copy !req
2435. No, it's fine. Have fun.Copy !req
2436. Thank you.Copy !req
2437. How long have you
guys been dating?Copy !req
2438. About three months.Copy !req
2439. Yeah, we met at a party
and it's been chill.Copy !req
2440. Yeah, he seems cool.
Yeah, he is.Copy !req
2441. Does he go
to UT, too? Cool.
- Yeah.Copy !req
2442. What does he study?Copy !req
2443. He's studying history
and Italian, I think,
his minor, yeah.Copy !req
2444. Does he wanna
teach Italian?Copy !req
2445. I think he's still
figuring stuff out.Copy !req
2446. Yeah.
He'll figure it out.Copy !req
2447. He's smart.
Smart, yeah.Copy !req
2448. So, where are you
thinking about living
when you come here?Copy !req
2449. Um, I'm not really sure yet.Copy !req
2450. We're gonna look
at apartments tomorrow.Copy !req
2451. Um...Copy !req
2452. But I know my parents
sort of were expecting me
to live in a dorm.Copy !req
2453. But I'm paying
my way through college,Copy !req
2454. so it doesn't
really matter that much.Copy !req
2455. You don't have
to listen to your parents
after you turn 18.Copy !req
2456. Especially if they're not
helping you financially.Copy !req
2457. That's what I figured.Copy !req
2458. But living in a dorm
isn't so bad.
Yeah?Copy !req
2459. I mean, especially
if it's a coed dorm.Copy !req
2460. Yeah.Copy !req
2461. I mean, I've never
been around so many
cute guys at once.Copy !req
2462. Like, college is really fun.Copy !req
2463. I'm excited.
It's great, yeah.Copy !req
2464. Oh.Copy !req
2465. The last death
at the Hoover Dam
construction siteCopy !req
2466. was his son,
Patrick Tierney,Copy !req
2467. who died on
December 20th, 1935,Copy !req
2468. exactly 13 years to the day.Copy !req
2469. See those
sorority girls over there?Copy !req
2470. I've just decided,Copy !req
2471. if you delete
your Facebook page,
I'm pledging.Copy !req
2472. Yeah, in just
a few years that's you,Copy !req
2473. and that's gonna be me.Copy !req
2474. inlaid into
the terrazzo floors
was a star map,Copy !req
2475. a celestial map
of heavenly bodies
so accurately displayedCopy !req
2476. that one could chart
the procession
of the pole starCopy !req
2477. 14,000 years into the future,
such that future
generations upon...Copy !req
2478. I wonder
what his deal is.Copy !req
2479. I mean, he obviously
has money to eat here.Copy !req
2480. He just said.
He's a UT professor,
tenure and everything.Copy !req
2481. Look at all these people.Copy !req
2482. What're they even doing here
at 3:00 in the morning?Copy !req
2483. What are we even doing here
at 3:00 in the morning?Copy !req
2484. We know what
we're doing here.Copy !req
2485. Queso.
We have a purpose.Copy !req
2486. Hell, yeah.Copy !req
2487. You know, by next summer,
this'll just be our lives.Copy !req
2488. Staying out all night,
going to shows,
whatever we want.Copy !req
2489. We ever gonna go to class?Copy !req
2490. Sometimes.Copy !req
2491. When it feels right.
When the inspiration hits.Copy !req
2492. Only then.Copy !req
2493. Anything else?Copy !req
2494. Uh, more queso?
Yeah.Copy !req
2495. Jesus.Copy !req
2496. What?Copy !req
2497. I don't know,
doesn't it all seem
a little overwhelming?Copy !req
2498. I mean, college?Copy !req
2499. I mean, I like the idea
of being away from homeCopy !req
2500. and gaining skills
and getting better
at photography.Copy !req
2501. I just...Copy !req
2502. I don't know,
I'm not counting on itCopy !req
2503. being some big,
transformative experience.Copy !req
2504. I don't think
it's that transformative.Copy !req
2505. I just see it
as the next step.Copy !req
2506. But it's like
a preordained slotCopy !req
2507. that's already got
your name and number on it.Copy !req
2508. I don't think
it's the key to my future.Copy !req
2509. 'Cause, I mean,
look at my mom.Copy !req
2510. She got her degree
and got a pretty good job.Copy !req
2511. She can pay her bills.Copy !req
2512. I like your mom.Copy !req
2513. I like my mom, too.
I just mean...Copy !req
2514. Basically she's still
just as fuckin'
confused as I am.Copy !req
2515. Thank you.
Thanks.Copy !req
2516. Hello?
- Hey.Copy !req
2517. Um...Copy !req
2518. Did Sam tell you
we were gonna stay here?Copy !req
2519. No.Copy !req
2520. Sorry. Um...Copy !req
2521. She said you were
out of town for
the weekend.Copy !req
2522. Yeah, I was.
I just got back.Copy !req
2523. Are you her brother?Copy !req
2524. Yeah, I'm Mason.Copy !req
2525. Um, this is Sheena.Copy !req
2526. Hello. Uh, great.Copy !req
2527. All right. I'm gonna
leave my stuff here,
if it's okay,Copy !req
2528. and get something to eat.Copy !req
2529. I'll just come back
in a little bit?Copy !req
2530. Yeah, yeah, we have to
get out of here soon anyway.Copy !req
2531. All right.
It's nice meeting you.Copy !req
2532. Yeah. You, too.
- Sorry!Copy !req
2533. That was so awkward.Copy !req
2534. Mason,
silver-medal winner.Copy !req
2535. Congratulations!Copy !req
2536. Thank you.Copy !req
2537. Heard you got
a scholarship.
Yeah.Copy !req
2538. Yeah, every little
bit helps, you know.Copy !req
2539. Yeah. When you gonna
go out there?Copy !req
2540. End of the summer, I think.Copy !req
2541. Work some more before then,
try to save up
some money, at least.Copy !req
2542. Yeah, before you have
to fend for yourself.
Yeah.Copy !req
2543. Yeah, that's the idea.Copy !req
2544. Well, how are you
feeling about it?Copy !req
2545. Excited, you know.Copy !req
2546. But kind of half-excited,
half-terrified.Copy !req
2547. Yeah, kind of that
voluptuous panic.Copy !req
2548. Yeah. Exactly.Copy !req
2549. Well, it's gonna be good.
It's gonna be crazy good.Copy !req
2550. I liked college
a lot better
than high school.Copy !req
2551. You kinda find
your people in college,
you know?Copy !req
2552. Exactly.Copy !req
2553. You'll be fine.Copy !req
2554. You got a good heart,
just follow your heart.
Yeah?Copy !req
2555. Thanks.
Good luck.Copy !req
2556. Don't forget to floss.Copy !req
2557. I just don't get
why you're being
so fucking childish.Copy !req
2558. I'm not being childish!Copy !req
2559. You're the one who made
it into this big thing
by telling everyone!Copy !req
2560. I haven't told anyone.Copy !req
2561. So Cynthia just
magically knowsCopy !req
2562. you're going to the prom
with this loser,Copy !req
2563. even though you're not
dating him anymore?Copy !req
2564. She's my best friend.Copy !req
2565. Well, your best friend
has a big fucking mouth.Copy !req
2566. Take it up with her, then.Copy !req
2567. Why don't you just
tell Miss Fuckin' Rubber JawCopy !req
2568. she can keep on talking,Copy !req
2569. as long as she
includes the truth,Copy !req
2570. which is that
we wouldn't be having
this conversationCopy !req
2571. if your college boyfriend
weren't out of town
this weekend.Copy !req
2572. You had already
bought the tickets.Copy !req
2573. It's just prom,
it's not like it matters.Copy !req
2574. I'm just trying to
be friends with you.Copy !req
2575. It's just humiliating.
I can't do that.Copy !req
2576. Mister I-Don't-Care-
What-Anyone-Else-
Thinks-Of-Me.Copy !req
2577. Fuck anyone else!Copy !req
2578. I care what I think of me,
which isn't much right now.Copy !req
2579. King of the Pity Prom.Copy !req
2580. Fine. We're not going.Copy !req
2581. Great.Copy !req
2582. Why are we even...Copy !req
2583. I mean, we both knew
this was coming.Copy !req
2584. I'm just the one
who did something about it.Copy !req
2585. Yeah, fucking
some college guy.Copy !req
2586. Oh, fuck you!Copy !req
2587. I don't regret anything.Copy !req
2588. Of course you don't.Copy !req
2589. You know, it's actually
kind of a reliefCopy !req
2590. not to have to be
around someone
who's so gloomy all the time.Copy !req
2591. The world's not so horrible.Copy !req
2592. Not everything's
some big conspiracy
against humanity.Copy !req
2593. It's great that
you can think that way.Copy !req
2594. You know, I'm sure
dating a jock really helps
to clear the mind.Copy !req
2595. He's not a jock, okay?
He just happens to be
on the lacrosse team.Copy !req
2596. We're all going
to other schools
next year anyway.Copy !req
2597. It's not some
super-serious relationship.Copy !req
2598. Oh, great. I feel
so much better now.Copy !req
2599. We're just having fun.Copy !req
2600. I bet he's having fun.Copy !req
2601. Grow up, Mason.Copy !req
2602. It's not like
I haven't been
with anyone else.Copy !req
2603. Who?Copy !req
2604. What do you care?Copy !req
2605. Who?Copy !req
2606. Does it matter?Copy !req
2607. You're the one
who brought it up.Copy !req
2608. This is pointless.Copy !req
2609. Now you're just trying
to be an asshole.Copy !req
2610. Holy crap, I would rather
have my balls clawed offCopy !req
2611. than ever sit through
anything like that ever again.Copy !req
2612. Well, you never,
ever have to.Copy !req
2613. Oh, my God, thank you.Copy !req
2614. Give me that.
Dude, it's all you.Copy !req
2615. Drink up.Copy !req
2616. So you coming out
with me tonight, brother?Copy !req
2617. Should be some
pretty awesome
stuff happening.Copy !req
2618. Naw, dude,
I'm going to this show
with my dad in Austin.Copy !req
2619. His friend's playing.Copy !req
2620. Have fun
with that, I guess.Copy !req
2621. Fuck, there are
so many cars here.
I don't wanna go in there!Copy !req
2622. Dude, you will have
so much fun.Copy !req
2623. Your family loves you!
Have a swell time.Copy !req
2624. Fuck you.
You're coming in with me.Copy !req
2625. Oh, no. Shit, no.
Yes.Copy !req
2626. Yes, you are.
My mom loves you.
You have to say hi.Copy !req
2627. Do you want to
hurt her feelings?Copy !req
2628. Well, then,
let's go get 'em!Copy !req
2629. Just for a second.
Just a second, seriously.Copy !req
2630. You know,
you're in sort of
enemy territory here.Copy !req
2631. We're aware.Copy !req
2632. Look who's here!Copy !req
2633. Hey!Copy !req
2634. Get a job!Copy !req
2635. Congratulations!Copy !req
2636. No, no, no! Wait.
We're gonna take pictures.Copy !req
2637. Put it back on.Copy !req
2638. Can you get a camera?Copy !req
2639. Congratulations, baby.Copy !req
2640. I don't know you,
but congratulations!Copy !req
2641. All right, look here.Copy !req
2642. Smile.
Here we go.Copy !req
2643. Oh, that's a good one.Copy !req
2644. And good. Got it.Copy !req
2645. We need...
Sam, where are you?Copy !req
2646. Samantha!
- Sam.Copy !req
2647. And where's
Mason Senior?Copy !req
2648. I'm feeling generous.
Come here.Copy !req
2649. Great.
And beautiful!Copy !req
2650. I'll email these
to everyone.Copy !req
2651. Don't even start.
Don't start, don't start.Copy !req
2652. Can't believe you guys
came all this way.
It means a lot to me.Copy !req
2653. We wouldn't have
missed it for anything!Copy !req
2654. I'm so proud of you.
Congratulations.Copy !req
2655. I'm really sorry that
Lee couldn't be here.
He's on his senior trip.Copy !req
2656. No, tell him I said hi.
I will.Copy !req
2657. Abby, I didn't even
recognize you.
How old are you now?Copy !req
2658. I'm 13.Copy !req
2659. All right,
let's top her off.Copy !req
2660. You want some, doll?Copy !req
2661. Um, sure,
whatever. Yeah.Copy !req
2662. I got you something.Copy !req
2663. What is it?Copy !req
2664. That is a savings bond.
That is worth something.Copy !req
2665. It's better than money.
You'd just spend that.Copy !req
2666. God, is that your mom?Copy !req
2667. Yeah. Yeah.
That's her.Copy !req
2668. Three-second rule.
Put it on your plate.Copy !req
2669. Such a good dad.
Really.Copy !req
2670. I know.
I'm trying to help.Copy !req
2671. Come here, you guys.
I want to make
a little toast to Mason.Copy !req
2672. Now, Mason, I know
you didn't really want
to have a party today,Copy !req
2673. but we did.Copy !req
2674. And you only
graduate high school
once in your life.Copy !req
2675. So I want to celebrate you
and this next phase.Copy !req
2676. And you're gonna learn
so much in college,Copy !req
2677. you're gonna have
so much fun.Copy !req
2678. You're gonna have
inspiring teachers,Copy !req
2679. you're gonna learn more
about your art.Copy !req
2680. I love you, babe.
So proud of you.Copy !req
2681. To Mason.
- To Mason!Copy !req
2682. To Mason.
- Here, here!Copy !req
2683. All right,
you're up, kid.Copy !req
2684. Oh, uh...Copy !req
2685. All right, uh...
Well, Mason, I'll make
a toast to the future.Copy !req
2686. To your future.Copy !req
2687. You know, it's been
a little sketchyCopy !req
2688. this end of
the school year here,Copy !req
2689. trying to figure out
what school to go to.Copy !req
2690. Mason told me
that he wantedCopy !req
2691. to get as far away
from home as possible,Copy !req
2692. but still honor
our agreement that
we pay in-state tuition,Copy !req
2693. which I do appreciate.Copy !req
2694. He's a prudent man
and, uh, he's gonna
have a great future.Copy !req
2695. So here's to you, buddy.Copy !req
2696. To the future!Copy !req
2697. Congratulations!Copy !req
2698. Mason Junior!
High school graduate,
18 and straight!Copy !req
2699. Just ignore him.
My brother needs
to learn to pace himself.Copy !req
2700. I've not known you
as long as everybody here,Copy !req
2701. but since I have known you,
you've grown a lot
and I'm proud of you.Copy !req
2702. So, if this
photography thing
doesn't work out,Copy !req
2703. you know
you always got a job.Copy !req
2704. Lose that earring. But...Copy !req
2705. Uh, you know,
maybe I can get
you front of house.Copy !req
2706. All right.
To you, buddy!Copy !req
2707. Sam, say something!Copy !req
2708. Come on, Samantha.
Um...Copy !req
2709. Come on, darling.Copy !req
2710. Good luck.Copy !req
2711. So you broke up
with your girlfriend?Copy !req
2712. Yeah, yeah, just recently.Copy !req
2713. What was her name?Copy !req
2714. Sheena.Copy !req
2715. She's gonna go to
college with you?Copy !req
2716. No.
No?Copy !req
2717. She's staying in
this part of Texas.Copy !req
2718. Okay.Copy !req
2719. You need a ride
to college?Copy !req
2720. I just wanted to say hello
before you got out of here.Copy !req
2721. You guys met before,
haven't you?
Annie, Aunt Jen?Copy !req
2722. Yeah, we met at, uh...Copy !req
2723. Sam's graduation.
Oh, yeah.Copy !req
2724. And with your little one.
Where is he?Copy !req
2725. Oh, he's at home.Copy !req
2726. Remember?
He was such a pain
in Sam's thing that...Copy !req
2727. I would love to see him.Copy !req
2728. We have a special weekend
this weekend, so...Copy !req
2729. I'm so glad you
found her, I really am.Copy !req
2730. You've got him at
a good time, I think.Copy !req
2731. I think so, too.
Yeah.Copy !req
2732. It's good to see you two.Copy !req
2733. Nice to see you,
too, Jen.Copy !req
2734. So proud of your boy.Copy !req
2735. Yeah. Yeah,
we all are.Copy !req
2736. She's a bitch and a half.Copy !req
2737. You got to
remember, you're goingCopy !req
2738. to college, though,
all right?Copy !req
2739. And if you're
anything like me
or your old man,Copy !req
2740. you're gonna be
pulling down
some serious wool.Copy !req
2741. You're gonna be tapping
some masterful gap.Copy !req
2742. You're gonna be doing
some good work out there.Copy !req
2743. Think about it.
Awful lot of flowers
in that bouquet.Copy !req
2744. But you got to
do me a favor.Copy !req
2745. You're going to be
vulnerable this summer,
all right?Copy !req
2746. Remember to use protection
during breakup sex.Copy !req
2747. This guy knows exactly
of which I speak.Copy !req
2748. Look what
happened to him. Voilà.Copy !req
2749. Steven.Copy !req
2750. Cheers.Copy !req
2751. It's not that simple.Copy !req
2752. Four more years.
Four more years.Copy !req
2753. I'm just saying.Copy !req
2754. Do y'all recycle?
Should I...Copy !req
2755. I have one started there.Copy !req
2756. Oh, yeah, right. Great.Copy !req
2757. Am I your only
ex at this party?Copy !req
2758. Yes. I'm not your
only wife here, though.Copy !req
2759. Yeah.Copy !req
2760. Can you believe
they're both out
of high school?Copy !req
2761. No. No, I can't.Copy !req
2762. You did a great job
with both of them,
by the way.Copy !req
2763. Thanks for saying that.Copy !req
2764. I never thought
I'd hear you say that.Copy !req
2765. Well, it's true.Copy !req
2766. Thank you.Copy !req
2767. You're doing it
all over again, huh?Copy !req
2768. I know, I know, right?Copy !req
2769. It's gonna be 15 years
till I have an empty nest.Copy !req
2770. But I'd love to pitch in,
help with this, if I could.Copy !req
2771. I mean, it's so great
that you did this.Copy !req
2772. Can I just
give you a little?Copy !req
2773. I'd appreciate it
if I could.Copy !req
2774. Sure. Yeah.Copy !req
2775. But I don't
have any cash.Copy !req
2776. Oh, I know,
it's in Annie's purse.
I'll be right back.Copy !req
2777. So it sucks.
I mean, the guy's
a college lacrosse player.Copy !req
2778. What are you gonna do?Copy !req
2779. She didn't even
like sports.Copy !req
2780. You want a beer?Copy !req
2781. No, that's all right.Copy !req
2782. You can have one.
It's okay.Copy !req
2783. Yeah, well,
for what it's worth,Copy !req
2784. we've all been through
the exact same thing
at one point or another.Copy !req
2785. It's not the same,
though. I mean, you
never got to know her.Copy !req
2786. No, I know, I know.
It's not the same.Copy !req
2787. I just don't know
what I did wrong.Copy !req
2788. Hey, Jimmy.
Hey, man.Copy !req
2789. Hey.
Hey, Mason.Copy !req
2790. We're up here
raiding the green room.
Hope that's okay.Copy !req
2791. That's totally cool.Copy !req
2792. All right.Copy !req
2793. Is that MJ?Copy !req
2794. Uh-huh, right?Copy !req
2795. Unbelievable.Copy !req
2796. Well, we just decided
to come a little early,
check you out.Copy !req
2797. That's cool man,
let me finish up.
I'll be up in a minute.Copy !req
2798. All right.
I guarantee you, you
didn't do anything wrong.Copy !req
2799. These high school
love things,
they never work out.Copy !req
2800. Here, come here.Copy !req
2801. I mean, everybody's
just changing so much,
you know?Copy !req
2802. The odds of two
young people staying on
the same wavelength are...Copy !req
2803. Yeah, but still...
Look, and I also
guarantee youCopy !req
2804. that every day
of your lifeCopy !req
2805. that you spend crying
over some silly girlCopy !req
2806. is a complete
waste of time.Copy !req
2807. She wasn't
a silly girl, though.Copy !req
2808. I mean,
she's a serious person.Copy !req
2809. And I really
thought we were...Copy !req
2810. What?Copy !req
2811. I don't know.Copy !req
2812. Here's the truth.
Women are
never satisfied, okay?Copy !req
2813. They're always
looking to potentially
trade up,Copy !req
2814. and that's,
I'm sorry to say,Copy !req
2815. what I think has
happened to you,
my fine-feathered friend.Copy !req
2816. What does that even mean?Copy !req
2817. It means don't hand over
the controls to your
self-esteem to Sheila.Copy !req
2818. Sheena.
All right.Copy !req
2819. It means you are
responsible for you,Copy !req
2820. not your girlfriend,
not your mom,
not me, you.Copy !req
2821. And if you truly
take care of you,Copy !req
2822. you will be amazed at
how much girls like SheenaCopy !req
2823. start lining up
at your front door.Copy !req
2824. Great.Copy !req
2825. You just gotta
separate yourself
from the pack in some way.Copy !req
2826. Excel at something,
you know, and then you
have your pick of the litterCopy !req
2827. when the
front-runner hussies
start sniffing around.Copy !req
2828. So what you're saying is
I should take up lacrosse.Copy !req
2829. Exactly.Copy !req
2830. Or you could,
you know, start a band.Copy !req
2831. Worked for me a long time
ago. I think it's still
working for Jimmy.Copy !req
2832. Or you just keep
taking pictures.Copy !req
2833. She hated the pictures
I took of her.Copy !req
2834. I'm sick to death
of her, okay?Copy !req
2835. I only met her
a few times, and yes,
she was cute, all right,Copy !req
2836. but truth be told,
I always thought she
was a little bit...Copy !req
2837. You know, a little
bit too square for you.Copy !req
2838. You know,
not quite the same vibe.Copy !req
2839. You really thought that?Copy !req
2840. On some subtle,
lower level.Copy !req
2841. I mean, I wasn't surprisedCopy !req
2842. when it turned out she was
interested in some knucklehead
lacrosse player, okay?Copy !req
2843. I mean, bottom line is,
it's all timing with
these things, you know.Copy !req
2844. I mean,
take your mom and me.Copy !req
2845. I think I probably
turned into the boring,Copy !req
2846. castrated guy
she wanted me to beCopy !req
2847. 15, 20 years ago,
you know?Copy !req
2848. I'm not saying
she was wrong to
be pissed, I'm not.Copy !req
2849. I'm just saying
that she could've beenCopy !req
2850. a little more patient,
little more forgiving.Copy !req
2851. Would've saved me
that parade of
drunken assholes.Copy !req
2852. So, what's the point?Copy !req
2853. Of what?Copy !req
2854. I don't know,
any of this. Everything.Copy !req
2855. Everything?
What's the point?Copy !req
2856. I mean,
I sure as shit don't know.Copy !req
2857. Neither does
anybody else, okay?Copy !req
2858. We're all just
winging it, you know?Copy !req
2859. The good news is
you're feeling stuff.Copy !req
2860. And you've got to
hold on to that.Copy !req
2861. You do. I mean, you get older
and you don't feel as much.Copy !req
2862. Your skin gets tougher.Copy !req
2863. The point is those
pictures you took,Copy !req
2864. thousands of submissions
from all over the state,
and you won.Copy !req
2865. Well, I got silver.Copy !req
2866. And nine other
people did, too.
I'm gonna kill you.Copy !req
2867. I'm trying to tell you
that I believe in you, Mason.Copy !req
2868. I think you're really special,Copy !req
2869. and if some girl
doesn't see that,
then fuck her, you know.Copy !req
2870. Hey, this next
one of 'em goes out to
a young man in the house.Copy !req
2871. Known him since he
was just a small boy.Copy !req
2872. Now he's all
graduated from high school
and making me feel old.Copy !req
2873. Happy high school
graduation, Mason.Copy !req
2874. Thank you.Copy !req
2875. Okay, guys, let's be clear.
We're gonna break this
into four categories.Copy !req
2876. One, anything you want to
keep from your childhoodCopy !req
2877. and you're taking with you.Copy !req
2878. Two, throwing away.
Three, donating.Copy !req
2879. And four, whatever you
want to try to sellCopy !req
2880. at the garage sale
next weekend,Copy !req
2881. whatever we don't sell,
we're donating.Copy !req
2882. Doesn't the apartment
have like an attic,
or storage or something?Copy !req
2883. No. You're missing the point.Copy !req
2884. We're not gonna
drag a bunch of crap
to Mom's tiny apartment.Copy !req
2885. Can't believe
we're moving again.Copy !req
2886. No, I'm moving.Copy !req
2887. You moved two years ago.
You have an apartment
in Austin.Copy !req
2888. Mason is
moving in the fall.Copy !req
2889. I'm done.Copy !req
2890. This'll be great for me.
I'll have all these options.Copy !req
2891. I could take a sabbatical.Copy !req
2892. I could get some writing done,
try to get published.Copy !req
2893. What about Christmas, though?
What are we gonna do?Copy !req
2894. I'm not sharing
a room with him.Copy !req
2895. One of you will
sleep on the couch,Copy !req
2896. and we'll use that
blow-up mattress.Copy !req
2897. How am I supposed
to do my laundry?Copy !req
2898. Sam, I'm gently
pushing you out of the nest.Copy !req
2899. And on your way down,
you may magically
find some quartersCopy !req
2900. that you use to do laundry
in your own apartment.Copy !req
2901. Come on!
You guys are adults!Copy !req
2902. You need to take
some responsibility.
Now, what do you want?Copy !req
2903. I'm gonna get
the veggie burger.Copy !req
2904. I'm not having anything,
not hungry.Copy !req
2905. What's wrong with you?Copy !req
2906. I'm sick.Copy !req
2907. What is it, your head?
Do you have a fever?Copy !req
2908. She's pregnant.Copy !req
2909. No. To be honest,
I drank way too
much last night.Copy !req
2910. You weren't driving,
were you?
No, no.Copy !req
2911. Cary's back home, too,
and we just hung out.Copy !req
2912. You know, peach Smirnoffs,
they just go down so easy.Copy !req
2913. No, no. Hey,
that's not an excuse.Copy !req
2914. You can still pack boxes.Copy !req
2915. These people want to move in
as soon as possible.Copy !req
2916. Hi, guys.
I'm Ernesto, how are you?Copy !req
2917. You probably
don't remember me,Copy !req
2918. but I worked on your
septic line years ago.Copy !req
2919. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
2920. Believe it or not,
you changed my life.Copy !req
2921. You told me that day
that I was smartCopy !req
2922. and that I should
go to school.Copy !req
2923. I took your advice.
I signed up for
English classes,Copy !req
2924. and then a year later,
I went to community collegeCopy !req
2925. and I got my
Associate's degree,Copy !req
2926. and I'm working on
my bachelor's now
at Texas State.Copy !req
2927. And also one of
the managers here.Copy !req
2928. That's great.Copy !req
2929. It's good to see you,
because I really wantedCopy !req
2930. a chance to
thank you for that.Copy !req
2931. Gracias. It really
meant a lot to me.Copy !req
2932. Don't worry about lunch.
It's on me.
It's the least I can do.Copy !req
2933. You guys should listen to her.
She's a smart lady.Copy !req
2934. Thank you.Copy !req
2935. Isn't that kind
of crazy, though,Copy !req
2936. that a computer
knows who you areCopy !req
2937. from just 20 questions
off a form?Copy !req
2938. I guess there are really
only like eight types
of people in the world.Copy !req
2939. I mean, there are subsets
like male and female,Copy !req
2940. but apparently
we're not as unique
as we want to think we are.Copy !req
2941. Have you even
talked to this guy yet?Copy !req
2942. No, but we've
been trading emails.
He seems pretty cool.Copy !req
2943. He's studying
literature and anthropologyCopy !req
2944. and he's way into Bright Eyes,
so that's not so bad.Copy !req
2945. But, anyways,
he was telling me
about howCopy !req
2946. the system they use
for assigning roommates
is kinda spooky.Copy !req
2947. The freshman satisfaction
rate for new roommates
used to be like 60%,Copy !req
2948. and now it's 100,
just 'cause of the computer.Copy !req
2949. Well, sounds like he'll be
a good roommate, then.Copy !req
2950. Yeah. But we
pretty much decidedCopy !req
2951. that soon they won't even
need a questionnaireCopy !req
2952. 'cause they'll
just let the NSA
scan your digital ghostCopy !req
2953. and they'll tell you
who your roommate isCopy !req
2954. based on everything
you've ever said,
written or clicked.Copy !req
2955. Did you put this
in here again?Copy !req
2956. I don't want it.Copy !req
2957. Come on, it's the first
picture you ever took.Copy !req
2958. All the more reason to
leave it behind, right?Copy !req
2959. What?
Nothing.Copy !req
2960. No, what is it?
It's nothing!Copy !req
2961. Mom.Copy !req
2962. This is the worst
day of my life.Copy !req
2963. What're you talking about?Copy !req
2964. I knew this day
was coming.Copy !req
2965. I didn't know
you were gonna beCopy !req
2966. so fuckin'
happy to be leaving.Copy !req
2967. I mean, it's not that
I'm that happy.
What do you expect?Copy !req
2968. You know what I'm realizing?
My life is just
gonna go, like that.Copy !req
2969. This series of milestones.Copy !req
2970. Getting married. Having kids.
Getting divorced.Copy !req
2971. The time that we thought
you were dyslexic.Copy !req
2972. When I taught you
how to ride a bike.Copy !req
2973. Getting divorced again.
Getting my master's degree.Copy !req
2974. Finally getting
the job I wanted.Copy !req
2975. Sending Samantha
off to college.
Sending you off to college.Copy !req
2976. You know what's next? Huh?Copy !req
2977. It's my fuckin' funeral!Copy !req
2978. Just go!
And leave my picture!Copy !req
2979. Aren't you
jumping ahead by, like,
40 years or something?Copy !req
2980. I just thought
there would be more.Copy !req
2981. Hey, you must be Mason.Copy !req
2982. Yeah. Dalton, right?Copy !req
2983. Yeah, man, it's nice
to finally meet you.
Definitely.Copy !req
2984. Are you cool with
this side of the room?Copy !req
2985. Yeah.Copy !req
2986. Got in this morning,
just moved my shit in, man.Copy !req
2987. Well, yeah, I don't care.
No worries.Copy !req
2988. Cool. Can I help you
with anything, man?Copy !req
2989. Any bags, any of that
stuff need brought in?Copy !req
2990. I just got like
one box left,
I packed pretty light.Copy !req
2991. But I appreciate it.Copy !req
2992. It's my pleasure, man.
Of course.Copy !req
2993. Um... Are you going to
the orientation mixer thing?Copy !req
2994. Orientation mixer thing?Copy !req
2995. Fuck no, man,
I'm not going to that,Copy !req
2996. and neither are you,
by the way.Copy !req
2997. We got way better
stuff to be doing, dude.
All right.Copy !req
2998. You ready?
Yeah.Copy !req
2999. Hey, Barb, this is
my roommate Mason.
Mason, Barb.Copy !req
3000. Hi.
- Hey.Copy !req
3001. You coming with us?Copy !req
3002. Where're you going?Copy !req
3003. Hiking.
Yeah, man,
you should come.Copy !req
3004. If we leave now
we can catch the late
afternoon at Big Bend.Copy !req
3005. You ever been before, man?Copy !req
3006. Yeah, but not since
I was really little.Copy !req
3007. Then all the more reason
to come now, man. That's
why we're here, dude.Copy !req
3008. Oh, Mason,
this is Nicole,
Barb's roommate.Copy !req
3009. Hey, what's up?Copy !req
3010. Hi.
Mason, Nicole.Copy !req
3011. So, you game?Copy !req
3012. Sure.Copy !req
3013. Here,
have the rest of this.Copy !req
3014. Got it timed perfectly.
It'll kick in when we
get in the mountains.Copy !req
3015. Awesome. Let's go.Copy !req
3016. Do they let you
major in that here?Copy !req
3017. Well, it's not that
serious here, so I kinda
train outside of university,Copy !req
3018. but I'm taking
all my basics like History
of Dance and all that.Copy !req
3019. Nice.
Yeah.Copy !req
3020. What do you teach?Copy !req
3021. Oh, gosh.Copy !req
3022. Ballet, tap, jazz,
lyrical, hip-hop.Copy !req
3023. Which one's
your favorite?Copy !req
3024. Tap.Copy !req
3025. Yeah?
Yeah.Copy !req
3026. You get to like make up
all your own sounds,
and there's no rules.Copy !req
3027. Just like
creative freedom.Copy !req
3028. That's great.
Yeah.Copy !req
3029. That's why
I love teaching it,
'cause,Copy !req
3030. I don't know,
it's so beautiful to me,Copy !req
3031. and it's kind of
dying away
in this generation,Copy !req
3032. so, to be a part
of bringing it backCopy !req
3033. to the kids is
really rewarding.Copy !req
3034. Right, keeps it going.
Yeah.Copy !req
3035. How old are they?Copy !req
3036. Six to eight.Copy !req
3037. Yeah. They have no fear,
and they're not
self-conscious at all.Copy !req
3038. They haven't reached
the awkward years yet.Copy !req
3039. Yeah, not yet.
It's coming.Copy !req
3040. Hey.Copy !req
3041. Hey.Copy !req
3042. Dalton can be
crazy sometimes.Copy !req
3043. He seems cool, though.Copy !req
3044. Yeah. Yeah,
they're both really cool.Copy !req
3045. How are you feeling?Copy !req
3046. Great. Pretty great,
to be honest.Copy !req
3047. Good.Copy !req
3048. I'm really happy that
you're hangin' out with us.Copy !req
3049. Yeah. Me, too.Copy !req
3050. This moment's
having a falsieful whoregasm!Copy !req
3051. It's like as if all of time
has unfolded before usCopy !req
3052. so we could stand
here and look out
and scream, "Fuck, yeah!"Copy !req
3053. You know how
everyone's always saying,
"Seize the moment"?Copy !req
3054. I don't know,
I'm kinda thinking
it's the other way around.Copy !req
3055. You know, like,
the moment seizes us.Copy !req
3056. Yeah. Yeah, I know.Copy !req
3057. It's constant.
The moment, it's just...Copy !req
3058. It's like it's always
right now, you know?Copy !req
3059. Yeah.Copy !req