1. Tonight is
the fucking night, okay?Copy !req
2. We've looked like shit
for years,
and we are developing.Copy !req
3. I would say I'm actually
mostly developed.Copy !req
4. We're finally hot.
At least, according to me.Copy !req
5. We're getting out there.Copy !req
6. We're getting in the cooch,
my girl.Copy !req
7. We are getting in the puss
and we're gettin' wet.Copy !req
8. Man, speak for yourself.Copy !req
9. Nobody's gonna wanna
fuck me this year,Copy !req
10. just like nobody wanted
to fuck me last year
or the year before.Copy !req
11. Okay, well, I'm gonna talk
to Brittany.Copy !req
12. I think that it's time.Copy !req
13. Oh, really? It's time?Copy !req
14. There wasn't time
in the last 11 yearsCopy !req
15. we've all been going
to school together?Copy !req
16. I've been building tension.Copy !req
17. You know,
you could say hi to Isabel.Copy !req
18. Yeah, okay.Copy !req
19. And just what would I say?Copy !req
20. Like, "Hey, girl, what's up?
How's your boyfriend?Copy !req
21. How's his penis?Copy !req
22. Still awesome and big
and throbbing and, uh,
like a male penis?"Copy !req
23. They could have broken up,
you never know.Copy !req
24. The fair is like
a completely fresh start.Copy !req
25. I'm not doin' that
with Isabel,
you know what I mean?Copy !req
26. Like, I'm... I'm...
I'm playin' the long game
with her, okay?Copy !req
27. - Mmm.
- Here's how it's gonna
shake out.Copy !req
28. I don't speak to the bitch
for years.Copy !req
29. Bam! It's the 20th
high school reunion.Copy !req
30. I show up,
I'm in a little suitCopy !req
31. like the lesbian I am,
you know what I mean?Copy !req
32. It's probably white, okay?Copy !req
33. She looks at me,
I look back at her.Copy !req
34. What the fuck happened to her?Copy !req
35. She's washed up.Copy !req
36. I mean Jeff has
run her ragged.Copy !req
37. That's when my ass
swoops in, okay?Copy !req
38. That made me so sad.
What? Okay.Copy !req
39. Josie, tick-tock.Copy !req
40. We're not gonna be sexy
little high schoolers forever.Copy !req
41. Soon we're gonna be old hags
in college.Copy !req
42. Do you wanna be the only
girl virgin at Sarah Lawrence?Copy !req
43. Yeah, honestly, maybe.Copy !req
44. I might have a good shot
that way.Copy !req
45. I don't need this negative,
really sad attitude. Please.Copy !req
46. What the fuck are you wearing?Copy !req
47. It's really not too late
to turn around, you know?Copy !req
48. I think you wanna be here.Copy !req
49. Who said that?Copy !req
50. - Where'd you get that idea?
- I'm just feeling...Copy !req
51. You're getting nervous because
of how excited you are.Copy !req
52. - No. No, no.
- Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
53. Oh, and we're crossing.
And we're getting in there.Copy !req
54. No, I can't, I'm sorry.
Ahhh! Fuck, my arm!Copy !req
55. There's nothing wrong
with your arm.Copy !req
56. You have Munchausen's.Copy !req
57. Look, just follow my lead.Copy !req
58. - Hello, ladies.
- Oh.Copy !req
59. Oh.
You know what?Copy !req
60. - Just keep going.
- How was your summer?Copy !req
61. - Good to see you.
- Okay, you know what?Copy !req
62. Uh, it's not gonna
happen, okay?Copy !req
63. This school has such
a gay problem.Copy !req
64. Okay, no.
No one hates us for being gay.Copy !req
65. Everyone hates us for being
gay, untalented, and ugly.Copy !req
66. Like, look at Matthieu.Copy !req
67. Rock on, man. Killin' it.Copy !req
68. I love what you're doing
with the school play.Copy !req
69. - Thanks, bitch.Copy !req
70. - Fuck!
- Yeah.Copy !req
71. Knocks it out of the park,
every year.Copy !req
72. - Every show.
- Yeah.Copy !req
73. - Ooh. Popcorn.Copy !req
74. Don't mind if I do.Copy !req
75. - Hey, guys.
- Hi, Hazel.Copy !req
76. Oh, hey, Hazel.
How was your summer?Copy !req
77. Were you with your uncle
at the slop farm?Copy !req
78. If you mean volunteering at
the National Meat Association,Copy !req
79. yeah, it was good.Copy !req
80. What are you guys doing here?Copy !req
81. You guys never come
to the fair.Copy !req
82. What happened to your arm?Copy !req
83. Oh, my God,
she ate shit is what happened.Copy !req
84. She ate literal shit?
What the fuck?Copy !req
85. - Mmm.
- Or did you get beat up again?Copy !req
86. No, I just tripped
and I—Copy !req
87. Or were you jumped?
Was it spy camp?Copy !req
88. Did you go to juvie?Copy !req
89. - Yeah, we went to juvie.
- Ladies and gentlemen...Copy !req
90. - Oh, my God, it was juvie?
- ... it's time to get ready,Copy !req
91. get wild, and get horny
for our very own Vikings!Copy !req
92. Oh, my God, what did you do?Copy !req
93. - And the man
who will lead us to victoryCopy !req
94. against the evil, maniacal,Copy !req
95. shit-eating
Huntington Ferrets,Copy !req
96. let's hear it for Jeff!Copy !req
97. Jeff! Have my babies!Copy !req
98. Jeff,
fill me with your seed!Copy !req
99. I just don't get why girls
like guys like that.Copy !req
100. It's like they're like dogs,
or pigs, or is there a...Copy !req
101. What's the grossest animal?Copy !req
102. Jeff,
come sign my tits!Copy !req
103. - Eat my pussy!Copy !req
104. That's right.Copy !req
105. Oh, fuck. Uh, Hazel.Copy !req
106. Gimme that.
Josie, take this. Take this.Copy !req
107. - Take this.
- No.Copy !req
108. Really quick.
This is the moment.Copy !req
109. Stop yelling at me!Copy !req
110. Could you give that back
really quickly?Copy !req
111. - Hey, Brittany.
- PJ.Copy !req
112. I am loving all the...Copy !req
113. holes in your pants.Copy !req
114. Thanks.Copy !req
115. You look like
a little Dutch boy.Copy !req
116. Thank you.Copy !req
117. So, Britt...
Can I call you Britt?Copy !req
118. I prefer if you just
called me my name.Copy !req
119. - Britt-a-nay. Um, but...
- No, not that.Copy !req
120. Brittany.Copy !req
121. Are you thinking of riding
the Ferris wheel
at all tonight?Copy !req
122. I wasn't. I'm going
on the puke and duke.Copy !req
123. I need to pull trig.Copy !req
124. - No, you don't.
- Yeah, I do.Copy !req
125. I'm gonna say something crazy.Copy !req
126. I think you could eat food,Copy !req
127. digest it, let it marinate,
poop it out.Copy !req
128. Mmm, gross.Copy !req
129. Maybe this?
You want a bite of this?Copy !req
130. - Oh, no.
- Yeah, this is fucking
disgusting. Ugh.Copy !req
131. You want a hot dog?
We could go get hot dogs.Copy !req
132. Oh, I don't know.Copy !req
133. Yeah, we could get the bun
and the ketchup.Copy !req
134. - No bun. No.
- You gotta get the bun.Copy !req
135. - Yes, you could.
- No.Copy !req
136. No bun. Okay.Copy !req
137. Um, Isabel.Copy !req
138. Josie was just saying
something similar to me.Copy !req
139. I don't think so.Copy !req
140. I think so.
It was really good.Copy !req
141. It was super funny.Copy !req
142. You're just so—
You're skinny too, as well.Copy !req
143. I'm Josie, by the way,
good evening.Copy !req
144. Yeah, you're skinny—Copy !req
145. You're real skinny minnie,
aren't ya?Copy !req
146. You probably should eat.Copy !req
147. They're gonna send you
to the hospital
with how skinny you are.Copy !req
148. Uh-oh, call the doctor.
Skinny girl, I see.Copy !req
149. Okay, do you guys want
any of our tickets?Copy !req
150. Yeah, yeah. Thank you.Copy !req
151. Fuck! Fuck!Copy !req
152. I don't want to say it,
but we're fucked.Copy !req
153. You know what? I'm good.Copy !req
154. 'Cause it's not gonna happen
for me.Copy !req
155. If it's not happening here,Copy !req
156. then it's definitely not
happening at Emerson, okay?Copy !req
157. I'm done trying to sow
my damn oats.Copy !req
158. - No.
- I'm packing up my vaginaCopy !req
159. and I'm fucking Matthieu.Copy !req
160. That's the only hope for me.Copy !req
161. - No.
- It's me and Matthieu, man.Copy !req
162. And 'cause he's gay
and fearless,Copy !req
163. he's probably gonna fuck me
without protection.Copy !req
164. Then I'm gonna get pregnant.Copy !req
165. We're going to have
to join a church.Copy !req
166. He'll be the gay pastor.Copy !req
167. My whole life's fucked!Copy !req
168. And yeah, sure,
his sermons are good,Copy !req
169. but everybody knows
he's fruity.Copy !req
170. Everybody knows
he's fucking fruity!Copy !req
171. By the way, our son, Hezekiah,
hates usCopy !req
172. 'cause he knows
we're both closeted,Copy !req
173. but we try to make it
work for him,
but he's not happy.Copy !req
174. And yeah, guess what?Copy !req
175. The deacon's fucking
the evangelist, man!Copy !req
176. He's fucking the evangelist!Copy !req
177. I don't wanna
live like that.Copy !req
178. Will you come and visit us
on Sundays?Copy !req
179. Please, will you come
and visit us on Sundays?Copy !req
180. - Isabel.
- Leave me alone!Copy !req
181. - Stop following me.
- Wait, shut up.Copy !req
182. - What?
- Look.Copy !req
183. - Don't touch me.
- Isabel, baby.Copy !req
184. My teeny, tiny baby girl.Copy !req
185. Why do you always have
to flirt with other women?Copy !req
186. It doesn't count
if they're not in high school.Copy !req
187. Especially Mrs. Reilly!Copy !req
188. - Josie, offer her a ride.
- I don't think so.Copy !req
189. Yes, come on.Copy !req
190. Irish Catholic.Copy !req
191. - And I'm regular Christian!Copy !req
192. - Josie, ask her. Come on.
- PJ, stop.Copy !req
193. You're hurting my head.Copy !req
194. You're attacking me,
and it's giving me a migraine.Copy !req
195. And it's giving me PTSD
about all the other times
I've had migraines.Copy !req
196. - Just do it now.
- No.Copy !req
197. - Just go fucking ask her.
- No. Isabel, would you
like a safety ride?Copy !req
198. Isabel.Copy !req
199. - Oh, no.
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
200. - Isabel...Copy !req
201. Get out of the car.Copy !req
202. You can't tell me what to do.Copy !req
203. - Yeah, no, he can't.
- Okay,Copy !req
204. I'm sorry that I looked
at Mrs. ReillyCopy !req
205. and lightly grazed
her left tit, all right?Copy !req
206. - Move, you prick!Copy !req
207. Uh, excuse me,
she said, "Move, prick."Copy !req
208. Don't talk to me,
you ugly bitch, okay?Copy !req
209. I do not talk to girls
in overalls.Copy !req
210. - Hey.
- Okay, I might be ugly,
but these aren't overalls.Copy !req
211. Isabel, get out
of the freaking car! Get out!Copy !req
212. Get out! Come on.Copy !req
213. - I feel like
we should just drive.
- Drive.Copy !req
214. - Drive.
- Let's just go.Copy !req
215. Please. You're being
really mean right now.Copy !req
216. - He'll move.
- He's not moving.Copy !req
217. He's gonna move.Copy !req
218. - We're about to drive.
- Isabel.Copy !req
219. - Drive. He'll move.
- Just drive. Josie, go.Copy !req
220. - Three, two one...
- Pedal to the metal. Drive!Copy !req
221. - Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God!Copy !req
222. Jeff?Copy !req
223. Jeff!Copy !req
224. - Are you...
Are you okay?Copy !req
225. When people move cars,
don't people move?Copy !req
226. Jeffrey, I'm coming!
I'm coming!Copy !req
227. You're not alone.
You're not alone.Copy !req
228. - Back up! Back up!
- We didn't even do anything.Copy !req
229. - No, come here.Copy !req
230. - Man down! Man down!
- You!Copy !req
231. Oh, my God.Copy !req
232. - I'm... I'm blacking out.
- No, stay with me.Copy !req
233. We should go. Let's go.Copy !req
234. - Let's go.
- Yeah. Okay.Copy !req
235. Let's just kind of
peel on out.Copy !req
236. - Fine.
- What did you do to him?Copy !req
237. Buckle it for me. Fuck!Copy !req
238. - You fucking cowards!Copy !req
239. You better fucking run!Copy !req
240. I don't understand.
What the fuck?Copy !req
241. They're not gonna
get away with this!Copy !req
242. Attention.Copy !req
243. The library
is out of use again.Copy !req
244. Huntington shot up
our remaining books,Copy !req
245. so there will be no reading
again this year. Thank you.Copy !req
246. Oh, Brittany was just so cute
last night.Copy !req
247. Like, "No, I can't eat
a hot dog.Copy !req
248. I know I won't even digest it.Copy !req
249. I have to throw up."Copy !req
250. And I was, like,
"You can have it."Copy !req
251. She's like, "No, not, just...Copy !req
252. Maybe, but not the bun."Copy !req
253. Oh, it was just really sweet.Copy !req
254. You had to be there.Copy !req
255. I was there.Copy !req
256. Are you serious?Copy !req
257. I got "faggot number two"
this time?Copy !req
258. You're the sidekick, not me.Copy !req
259. 'Sup, Ted? How's the family?Copy !req
260. Sick. Yeah, you know
what to do.Copy !req
261. Thanks.Copy !req
262. Do you feel like people
are looking at us?
Like, more than usual?Copy !req
263. I don't know.
Did you period yourself?Copy !req
264. Mmm... Mmm-mmm. Hey, Sylvie.Copy !req
265. Hi.Copy !req
266. Holy shit. Are you guys okay?Copy !req
267. What? Yeah.Copy !req
268. - Why wouldn't we be okay?
- All right, kiddos.Copy !req
269. Welcome back to class.Copy !req
270. Hey! The prep club worked hard
on those.Copy !req
271. That belongs to the school.Copy !req
272. Oh, cool.
So, does your vagina.Copy !req
273. Nice try, PJ,Copy !req
274. but my vagina belongs
to the government.Copy !req
275. All right, check it out.Copy !req
276. - Today I got a special
lesson for all of you.
- Josie, so, how'd you do it?Copy !req
277. Do what?Copy !req
278. Holy shit. Is he okay?Copy !req
279. Hey, you good, man?Copy !req
280. - What the fuck?Copy !req
281. - Yeah, okay, so...
- What the fuck?Copy !req
282. Meanwhile,
back at the ranch...Copy !req
283. Okay, so, did he fight back?Copy !req
284. No, literally, how did it go?
Did he fight back?Copy !req
285. - I hope you broke a bone.
- If you need a shoulderCopy !req
286. or anything,
just let me know...Copy !req
287. I heard you did
something to him,
I just don't know what.Copy !req
288. and I'll totally let you
lean on me.Copy !req
289. No, but like honestly,
how did you do it?Copy !req
290. Oh, my God.
Annie, they went to juvie.Copy !req
291. That's how, okay?Copy !req
292. Hey. Hey. Hey, you.Copy !req
293. Overall bitch.Copy !req
294. This is you.Copy !req
295. - God damn it, Jeff.Copy !req
296. What the fuck?Copy !req
297. Hey, you couldn't make
that analogy with your fists?Copy !req
298. Hello,
this is Principal MeyersCopy !req
299. with an important
Huntington update.Copy !req
300. So, listen to this girl.Copy !req
301. Last night,
outside the fair,Copy !req
302. a Huntington player
followed me home,Copy !req
303. pinned me against my car
and punched me in the face.Copy !req
304. And now my face
is totally fucked.Copy !req
305. Fuck.Copy !req
306. We haven't faced the violence
of Huntington for 20 years.Copy !req
307. They think they can get
in our headsCopy !req
308. by picking on our weak
and defenseless.Copy !req
309. Well, we can't let them
break our spirit, folks.Copy !req
310. Keep your heads in the game.Copy !req
311. They're gonna pork us!Copy !req
312. - We're fucked!
- I'm screwed.Copy !req
313. Hey. Hey, calm down
just a little bit.Copy !req
314. Oh, great. More violence.Copy !req
315. Just what this school needs.Copy !req
316. Seriously, that's...
that's it?Copy !req
317. - That's class?
- Latte.Copy !req
318. Get my shit.Copy !req
319. Solid class.Copy !req
320. Hey.Copy !req
321. Josie, right?Copy !req
322. I heard you, like, beat up
my boyfriend last night?Copy !req
323. Um, weren't you there?Copy !req
324. I heard you guys ate
literal shitCopy !req
325. - and killed girls in juvie.
- Really?Copy !req
326. Um, what did you think
about that?Copy !req
327. - Excuse me.Copy !req
328. Could the ugly,
untalented gaysCopy !req
329. please report
to the principal's office?Copy !req
330. Guess that's you guys.Copy !req
331. Hello, Principal Meyers.
First of all, I want to say,
God bless—Copy !req
332. - Shut up. You know why you're here.
- I don't, actually...Copy !req
333. For committing a crime
against Jeff.Copy !req
334. Our quarterback
and the most good-looking,Copy !req
335. all-American, red-blooded,
muscular man
this town has ever seen.Copy !req
336. Sir, please,
look in the mirror.Copy !req
337. - Shush.
- Okay.Copy !req
338. The homecoming game
with Huntington
is nearly a month away.Copy !req
339. Do you know how long we've
been working toward this?Copy !req
340. - Yes.
- Yes. It's everywhere.Copy !req
341. - Twenty years.
- Couldn't be clearer.Copy !req
342. I think I can explain.Copy !req
343. I can explain.Copy !req
344. Jeff is psychotic,
and he tried to murder us.Copy !req
345. Ha! Sure.Copy !req
346. You're all victims, and girls
are always right. Right?Copy !req
347. Yeah, actually.Copy !req
348. How come you can't buck upCopy !req
349. and learn to protect yourselves
without running somebody over?Copy !req
350. Maybe it's because we're small
and he's giant.Copy !req
351. So, we needed to use
a little machinery.Copy !req
352. Did you ever think
of that, sir?Copy !req
353. - Can we just explain ourselves?
- Maybe I should buy a gun.Copy !req
354. Okay. What? What?
Don't buy a gun.
Nobody said buy a gun.Copy !req
355. - Can we just
calm down, everybody.
- Zip it.Copy !req
356. - You know what?
- What?Copy !req
357. - I'm gonna expel you both.
- No!Copy !req
358. - No! No!
- Yes! Yes!Copy !req
359. You have to understand that
this was a misunderstanding.Copy !req
360. - Really?
- We were just practicing...Copy !req
361. for...Copy !req
362. for our self-defense club.Copy !req
363. Self-defense— What is that?Copy !req
364. - Uh...
- Is it like a fight club?Copy !req
365. - Well, here's the thing—
- Yes! Yes!Copy !req
366. - Uh...
- Yes! Yes!Copy !req
367. A fight club.Copy !req
368. Where we fuckin' beat
each other up and shit.Copy !req
369. - No, we don't.
- Yes.Copy !req
370. No, we don't. Shut up.Copy !req
371. Okay, you know what?
I don't care. Fuck it!Copy !req
372. - I don't care.
- You're over it, okay.Copy !req
373. Yeah. You can beat the shit
out of each otherCopy !req
374. while you perform
The Vagina Monologues.Copy !req
375. Just stay in your lane
until you're munching beaver
at Wesleyan.Copy !req
376. Yes, sir.Copy !req
377. I can't believe
they're letting you guys
start a fight club.Copy !req
378. No, they're... they're not.
We are not.Copy !req
379. What are you talking about?
We're gonna do it.Copy !req
380. We're doing it.Copy !req
381. PJ, I wasn't being serious.Copy !req
382. Josie, did you see the way
that Isabel and Brittany
were looking at us?Copy !req
383. - Also, you heard
the announcements.Copy !req
384. Girls are terrified.Copy !req
385. It's perfect. They need this.Copy !req
386. Okay, no. They need,
like, mace, maybe.Copy !req
387. We can't do that, okay?
We'd be misleading them.Copy !req
388. Guys do that
all the time, okay?Copy !req
389. That's the point of feminism.Copy !req
390. That's not the point
of feminism.Copy !req
391. You also don't care
about feminism.Copy !req
392. Your favorite show
is Entourage.Copy !req
393. You're missing the point!Copy !req
394. I don't really think I am.
We don't know how to fight.Copy !req
395. You guys probably
fought girls in juvie.Copy !req
396. No, we were lying about that, obviously.Copy !req
397. - About juvie?Copy !req
398. - Yeah, I mean, what?
- Why would you lie to me?Copy !req
399. You were the one who said
we went to juvie.Copy !req
400. I just didn't correct you.Copy !req
401. Listen, self-defense
is instinctual common sense.Copy !req
402. You try to punch me
in the face,
I stop it from happening.Copy !req
403. Whatever. I don't care.
It's easy.Copy !req
404. Look, this is how we do this.Copy !req
405. Okay, we start with Taekwondo.Copy !req
406. Which I've got covered.Copy !req
407. And then you guys can move
on to air punches.Copy !req
408. Hub-bub-bub-bub.Copy !req
409. Who do we know?
Who do we know?Copy !req
410. I'll bring Stella-Rebecca.Copy !req
411. You know Stella-Rebecca?Copy !req
412. Stella-Rebecca who models
at car conventionsCopy !req
413. - in Chicago on the weekends?
- Yeah, we're family friends.Copy !req
414. Okay, great.
Well, then bring her.Copy !req
415. - Josie.
- What?Copy !req
416. - We're doing this.
- No.Copy !req
417. Yeah. Listen to me.Copy !req
418. We teach a bunch of girls
how to defend themselvesCopy !req
419. against the evil,
Huntington killers.Copy !req
420. They are grateful to us.Copy !req
421. We build a community, we bond,Copy !req
422. we share, we connect.Copy !req
423. We're punching each other,
adrenaline is flowing.Copy !req
424. Next thing you know,Copy !req
425. Isabel and Brittany
are kissing us on the mouths.Copy !req
426. - Jeffrey!
- Josie...Copy !req
427. Isabel knew your name.Copy !req
428. - Back from the dead.
- If we do this...Copy !req
429. - Mmm-hmm.
- Very big "if,"Copy !req
430. we just run the risk
of becomingCopy !req
431. even bigger losers
than we already are right now.Copy !req
432. And I hate to break it to you,
but we're pretty big losers.Copy !req
433. And that is the beauty.
That is the beauty of this.Copy !req
434. Because we are literally
at the bottom.Copy !req
435. We're the lowest of the low.Copy !req
436. - Okay.
- We have nowhere to go but up.Copy !req
437. Listen, I think this is
a good idea, okay?Copy !req
438. There's a serious lack
of female solidarity
at this school.Copy !req
439. Not the point, Hazel.
Not the point.Copy !req
440. Yeah, I mean,
we just felt likeCopy !req
441. there's a serious lack
of female solidarity
at this school.Copy !req
442. Anyways, totally come by.
See you later.Copy !req
443. What's your plan here?Copy !req
444. I don't need a plan.Copy !req
445. My mom has a business.
All we have to do is yell.Copy !req
446. Okay.Copy !req
447. What's up, lads?Copy !req
448. What the fuck?Copy !req
449. - These girls are ugly.
- Okay.Copy !req
450. Where is Stella?Copy !req
451. She was booked
for a car convention.Copy !req
452. What? It's a Monday.Copy !req
453. Um, maybe we should goCopy !req
454. - before someone cool shows up?Copy !req
455. Before I die? Pick one.Copy !req
456. Hey, Hazel.
Thanks for the invite.Copy !req
457. I love David Fincher.Copy !req
458. - Oh, my God. Well...
- See?Copy !req
459. I guess Sylvie's cute
if she lost her bracesCopy !req
460. and stopped huffing paint.Copy !req
461. She'll never stop
huffing paint.Copy !req
462. So, I thought
we'd start...Copy !req
463. Um...Copy !req
464. - Okay.
- Sorry.Copy !req
465. All right.Copy !req
466. Listen up,
you cunt-sucking
pieces of shit.Copy !req
467. Welcome to our fucking
fight club.Copy !req
468. Um, it's a self-defense club.Copy !req
469. It's not really, "Fight."Copy !req
470. So, as we know,
Huntington is on the prowl,Copy !req
471. and they're picking
on the weakCopy !req
472. and defenseless,
meaning all of you.Copy !req
473. So, we're gonna teach you
how to not take shit.Copy !req
474. We're gonna start
with dropkicks,Copy !req
475. tackling, little bit
of knife play.Copy !req
476. Then, punch-bucket,Copy !req
477. which is when we throw you
in a bucketCopy !req
478. and we punch you
until you bleed.Copy !req
479. Before that,
perhaps stretches,
icebreakers, and trust falls.Copy !req
480. Is that what happened
to you in juvie?Copy !req
481. - Mmm. No. No.
- No.Copy !req
482. Juvie was way crazier.Copy !req
483. One time, this girl's
punching me in the rain.Copy !req
484. Fall to my knees. It's muddy.Copy !req
485. I get up. I'm blind.Copy !req
486. Punch her right
in the middle of her face.Copy !req
487. Broke her fuckin' nose.Copy !req
488. Josie?Copy !req
489. Care to share?Copy !req
490. Yeah, all right.Copy !req
491. Juvie was insane.Copy !req
492. Once a girl tried to kill me
with rat poison,Copy !req
493. so I took her outside
and I punched her
till she died.Copy !req
494. So, you killed a girl?Copy !req
495. Uh, no.Copy !req
496. Because the ambulance came
and revived herCopy !req
497. and we actually had a really
productive conversationCopy !req
498. when she came back
to life, so...Copy !req
499. Um, since Josie
literally killed a girl—Copy !req
500. She came back to life.Copy !req
501. Mmm. But I remember her
being dead
for at least a couple minutes.Copy !req
502. Josie is gonna start
by showing you allCopy !req
503. how to effectively throw
a solid punch.Copy !req
504. Josie, if you'll step forward.Copy !req
505. No, I don't wanna do that.Copy !req
506. - What's the problem?
- There's no problem. I just...Copy !req
507. No, I'm just not gonna do it.Copy !req
508. Come on, they wanna see
the punch.Copy !req
509. - They don't wanna see it.
- They wanna see. Look at them.Copy !req
510. They wanna see the punch.Copy !req
511. Who am I gonna punch?Copy !req
512. Punch me. Just punch me.Copy !req
513. - Punch you?
- Yeah, come on.Copy !req
514. I can punch you.Copy !req
515. Yeah. I know how
to take a punch.Copy !req
516. Something people
would always say,Copy !req
517. "PJ knows how
to take a punch."Copy !req
518. - Come on up.Copy !req
519. Oh!Copy !req
520. Oh, fuck!Copy !req
521. Will there an advisor
for this club?Copy !req
522. Because we'll be suspended
if there isn't.Copy !req
523. Who is gonna be dumb enough
to endorse a clubCopy !req
524. where we punch each other
in the face?Copy !req
525. The Holocaust. It happened.Copy !req
526. Yes, it did.Copy !req
527. But how? The seeds were sown
in the Treaty of Versailles,Copy !req
528. which y'all are gonna reenact
while I do some little reading
over here.Copy !req
529. I mean, he's perfect.Copy !req
530. No.Copy !req
531. - What?
- No.Copy !req
532. Please.Copy !req
533. Dude, we're not
fucking doing this.
I broke your nose.Copy !req
534. Yeah, and I've never
had so many girls
look at me in my life.Copy !req
535. Fuck! When did you show up?Copy !req
536. Hey, guys.Copy !req
537. I just wanted to say thank you
so much for last night.Copy !req
538. It was just so great,
and I was thinking,Copy !req
539. like, if Huntington and me were
in an alleywayCopy !req
540. and they were coming at me
with, like, swords
and, like, knivesCopy !req
541. and, like, guns and stuff,Copy !req
542. and you taught me how
to punch like that,
then I wouldn't die.Copy !req
543. - That's so great, Sylvie.
- Okay.Copy !req
544. But, unfortunately,Copy !req
545. Josie doesn't want
to do the club anymore.Copy !req
546. What? Why?Copy !req
547. I don't know.Copy !req
548. Why? It was just
so empowering.Copy !req
549. What was empowering?Copy !req
550. - Oh, my God, hi. Um...Copy !req
551. Just, we have a fight club.
It was our fight clubCopy !req
552. for, um, female solidarity
at this school, which we lack.Copy !req
553. - Isabel, let's go.Copy !req
554. Hi, boo-boo.Copy !req
555. - I'm so strong.Copy !req
556. I mean...Copy !req
557. - Mr. G, G-man, G-dog.Copy !req
558. Great class today.Copy !req
559. Hey, uh, girl.Copy !req
560. Thanks for coming in today.Copy !req
561. We have to come in.
It's class.Copy !req
562. Try telling
Dimitri Walker that.Copy !req
563. Little motherfucker came
the first week
and I ain't seen him since.Copy !req
564. Dimitri Walker
committed suicideCopy !req
565. the first week of school,
Mr. G.Copy !req
566. Sure, he did.Copy !req
567. Anyways, um, we were wondering
if you wanted
to be our club advisor.Copy !req
568. - What kind of club is that?
- It's a women's club.Copy !req
569. We talk about women's issues.Copy !req
570. For example, periods,Copy !req
571. declining egg count,Copy !req
572. skirts...Copy !req
573. Skirts?Copy !req
574. But long ones.
Long denim skirts.Copy !req
575. Feminism is what she's saying.
Feminism as a... as a whole.Copy !req
576. Why don't you just ask
one of the female teachers?Copy !req
577. Mmm. Thought about that,
but we hate them.Copy !req
578. - Makes sense.
- Yeah.Copy !req
579. Listen. I'm kind of,Copy !req
580. you know,
retiling the bathroom.Copy !req
581. - Mmm-hmm.
- Uh, I gotta be at the co-op.Copy !req
582. And I'm also dealing with
some relationship drama, so...Copy !req
583. Back to the club,Copy !req
584. maybe this will be a great way
to take your mind off
of stuff.Copy !req
585. Can I be honest?
You're a manCopy !req
586. who's not coping
with what's going on.Copy !req
587. - Yeah.
- You know what?Copy !req
588. My mom did say I need
to pick up a hobby.Copy !req
589. And here's one thingCopy !req
590. - my mom's always said to me.
- Mmm.Copy !req
591. Sometimes, when you have
a new hobby,Copy !req
592. - don't show up.
- Yeah.Copy !req
593. It's, like, you can be
our club advisor,Copy !req
594. - but you don't even
come to the dang club.
- No.Copy !req
595. By the way,
great way to be an ally.Copy !req
596. That's my favorite way
to be an ally.Copy !req
597. You just say
you're doing somethingCopy !req
598. and then you don't do
any of those things.Copy !req
599. You know what I mean?
You say, "I support women."
You don't.Copy !req
600. Don't come. Yeah.Copy !req
601. You know what? I'll sign off
on your period club.Copy !req
602. - Amazing.
- What?Copy !req
603. - Yeah.
- Really?Copy !req
604. - Okay.
- So cool.Copy !req
605. How many girls go
to this school, again?Copy !req
606. Oh, my God, and again,
they're all sixes at best.Copy !req
607. Hey, guys.Copy !req
608. Mmm. Well, at least
Stella-Rebecca is here.Copy !req
609. Are you stressed?
Because I'm stressed.Copy !req
610. Hey, ladies.Copy !req
611. Let's get it popping
in this motherfucker.Copy !req
612. All right. Um...Copy !req
613. Hello, everybody.Copy !req
614. Okay, excuse me.Copy !req
615. Sorry, I feel... Sorry.Copy !req
616. Um...Copy !req
617. Everybody, shut the fuck up!Copy !req
618. This isn't a little
hangout, okay?Copy !req
619. Oh, it's not a sleepover, playtime.Copy !req
620. There are serious rules
that we need
to establish, 'kay?Copy !req
621. First...Copy !req
622. listen.Copy !req
623. Second,Copy !req
624. be on time.Copy !req
625. Yeah.Copy !req
626. Except for you.
You come whenever you want.Copy !req
627. What time is it?Copy !req
628. - 3:30.
- 3:30!Copy !req
629. Club starts at 3:15.Copy !req
630. Not 3:16.Copy !req
631. Not 3:17,Copy !req
632. but the doors close at 3:15.Copy !req
633. No exceptions.Copy !req
634. I don't care if you're like...Copy !req
635. - "Oh, but I had to go
to extra help for mathCopy !req
636. because I... I need
to get a full rideCopy !req
637. because my mom
lives in a trailerCopy !req
638. and she loves her boyfriend
more than me."Copy !req
639. La, la, la. Blah, blah, blah.Copy !req
640. Shut up, okay?Copy !req
641. My dad left me,
and I'm incredibly punctual.Copy !req
642. Um, hey, guys. Come on in.Copy !req
643. Nice.Copy !req
644. Uh, we're just getting
started here.Copy !req
645. So, um...Copy !req
646. Today I think we're gonna
start with some body contact.Copy !req
647. We're gonna do wrestling.Copy !req
648. I think I need a volunteer.Copy !req
649. Brittany, you're close to me.
You wanna...Copy !req
650. I'm sorry. I thought
we weren't allowed to be late.Copy !req
651. - That's not true. It's about...
- Oh, that's about next week.Copy !req
652. - Yeah, next week.
- So, the rules for next week.Copy !req
653. Don't be late.Copy !req
654. - But this week is good...
- Yeah. No worries.Copy !req
655. if you're late.
Take it easy.Copy !req
656. Okay, I'm sorry.
I just want to make sure.Copy !req
657. This is a self-defense
class, right?Copy !req
658. Where we can learn
to protect ourselvesCopy !req
659. against, like,
football players.Copy !req
660. And Huntington? 'Cause, um,
they're gonna pork us.Copy !req
661. They're gonna pork us.Copy !req
662. I thought we were fighting
each other for money.Copy !req
663. There's a cash prize, right?Copy !req
664. I thought this was
to be part of, like,Copy !req
665. a local underprivileged
female community.Copy !req
666. My identity is completely
attached to hers,Copy !req
667. so I just kind of go
wherever she goes.Copy !req
668. Everyone's here
for a good reason.Copy !req
669. So, uh, you know, like...Copy !req
670. - Why are we nitpicking reasons?
- Yeah. How about this?Copy !req
671. - Let's jump in. Right?
- Yeah. For sure.Copy !req
672. - Love that.
- Yeah.Copy !req
673. - I'll go.
- Great. Yeah.Copy !req
674. - Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey.Copy !req
675. I don't know about this shit.Copy !req
676. What the hell?
You didn't even warn me.Copy !req
677. Okay, we didn't get
warnings at juvie.Copy !req
678. - Look.
- We can take it slower.Copy !req
679. - Okay.
- Maybe, yeah, try that.Copy !req
680. Take that route.
Little slower.Copy !req
681. Look. You just use
your natural instincts,
just come at me.Copy !req
682. Whatever you want, 'kay?Copy !req
683. - Oh, fuck.Copy !req
684. - Okay.Copy !req
685. That's great.
I say that we go again.Copy !req
686. - Oh!
- Ow, fuck! My back.Copy !req
687. Oh, shit.
Man, we gotta shut this down.Copy !req
688. We don't have to shut it down.
She's fine.Copy !req
689. - Are you fine? Are you okay?
- Yeah, she's okay.Copy !req
690. - She's totally fine.
- Shut this shit down.Copy !req
691. - No, wait, Mr. G.
- Shut this shit down.Copy !req
692. No, don't blow the whistle.
Don't blow the whistle.Copy !req
693. I know that,Copy !req
694. you know, this is
a little messy right nowCopy !req
695. but, like, the only wayCopy !req
696. that we can learn
how to defend ourselves
is by teaching each other.Copy !req
697. Huntington is coming.Copy !req
698. We need this.Copy !req
699. I know that things
might seem scary,Copy !req
700. but that's okay, because...Copy !req
701. because...Copy !req
702. Because you're gonna
be fucking pros.Copy !req
703. - Is what I was gonna say. Yes.
- Yeah.Copy !req
704. - Right?
- Yes.Copy !req
705. Crystal, I'm thinking of you.Copy !req
706. You are never gonna
get assaulted
on your birthday again.Copy !req
707. - Lucky number seven, okay?
- Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
708. And I... I'm gonna finally
reverse-stalk my stalker.Copy !req
709. Yeah, absolutely.Copy !req
710. And for me,Copy !req
711. I'll be able
to kill my stepdad.Copy !req
712. - Awesome.
- Okay.Copy !req
713. And if you believe
in yourselvesCopy !req
714. and you believe in us
and then you trust us,Copy !req
715. I'm like,
"Let's fucking do this!"Copy !req
716. - Yeah!
- Yeah?Copy !req
717. - Yeah.
- Yeah. Okay.Copy !req
718. So good.Copy !req
719. - Yeah! Yes!Copy !req
720. - Yeah!
- Yeah!Copy !req
721. Yes! Yes, queen, slay!Copy !req
722. Yes! Yes!Copy !req
723. Slay! Yeah!Copy !req
724. Cool.Copy !req
725. - Yeah?
- Yeah. I'm just gonna go.Copy !req
726. Yeah, for sure.Copy !req
727. - Oh!Copy !req
728. - Whenever you want.
- I will.Copy !req
729. - Whoa!Copy !req
730. - So, don't do that.
Don't do that.
- Don't do that, guys.Copy !req
731. - That was not... Yeah.
- These things you don't do.Copy !req
732. So, it's good to learn.Copy !req
733. - Yeah.Copy !req
734. Yeah, no,
we'll just do it.
What you should do.Copy !req
735. - Yeah, yeah. For sure.
- Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
736. - Wanna go again?
- Yeah, why not?Copy !req
737. - Whoa.Copy !req
738. Good job.Copy !req
739. Yeah!
Damn.Copy !req
740. - Come on!Copy !req
741. Yes!Copy !req
742. - Yeah, okay!Copy !req
743. Nice. All right!Copy !req
744. Oh, my God! Yes!Copy !req
745. Keep it up, guys!Copy !req
746. Shake it off. Shake it off.
Get back up.Copy !req
747. - Good work, guys.
- Yeah!Copy !req
748. - Fight me off, PJ.Copy !req
749. Stop smiling,
I'm kicking your ass.Copy !req
750. Hazel!Copy !req
751. You little bitch,
it's actually working.Copy !req
752. I told you.Copy !req
753. I know. I feel like
if we keep it up,Copy !req
754. we can actually take on
Huntington, you guys.Copy !req
755. No, if we keep it up,
we can put our fingersCopy !req
756. inside of each other. Grow up.Copy !req
757. All right.Copy !req
758. You know, PJ,Copy !req
759. I feel like people
are actually liking
more than justCopy !req
760. the hitting and the tackling
part of the club.Copy !req
761. Yeah, I know.
We're empowering them. Duh.Copy !req
762. No, I mean, seriously,
to have a safe space
like this,Copy !req
763. it means a lot to people,Copy !req
764. and I think that if we took
some time to spend a meetingCopy !req
765. and actually get
to know these girls,Copy !req
766. like, it would be
really important,Copy !req
767. instead of just, like,
sweating on them and...Copy !req
768. Hazel, that is a genuinely
brilliant idea.Copy !req
769. - Yeah.
- I love talking
about my trauma.Copy !req
770. I literally jack off
after every singleCopy !req
771. - therapy session.
- What?Copy !req
772. It just makes girls
weirdly horny. It does.Copy !req
773. - Don't say "girls." It's you.
- Bonjour.Copy !req
774. - I just wanted to sayCopy !req
775. I'm loving what I'm hearing
about the club.Copy !req
776. It seems so supportive
of women.Copy !req
777. Especially the hot ones.Copy !req
778. Yeah, well,
all women are hot to me.Copy !req
779. Listen, it's really cute
and everything,Copy !req
780. but we're getting
a little close to the game now
and, um...Copy !req
781. I'm just a bit concernedCopy !req
782. it might be taking away
attention from our team.Copy !req
783. I think that's, like,
literally impossible to do.Copy !req
784. Okay.Copy !req
785. So, we know
that the club has been a placeCopy !req
786. where we can feel
empowered physically,Copy !req
787. but we also thought
it could beCopy !req
788. a safe space and a place
where we can open upCopy !req
789. and talk about our feelings.Copy !req
790. Okay, so who's been raped?Copy !req
791. Just, you know,
raise your hand.Copy !req
792. Gray area stuff counts too.Copy !req
793. Everybody knows the situation
with my stepdad.Copy !req
794. He's just obsessed
with Friday movie nights.Copy !req
795. I mean, God, I get it,
you're my new stepdad, but...Copy !req
796. fuck, whatever.Copy !req
797. You know?Copy !req
798. Every time I call the police
about my stalker,Copy !req
799. they tell me to fill out
an online form.Copy !req
800. And then the form
tells me to call,Copy !req
801. so I call and then they say
they can't get involved
until he tries to kill me.Copy !req
802. And he keeps saying
he's going to...Copy !req
803. but that doesn't count.Copy !req
804. So, it's just, like, annoying.Copy !req
805. Been there.Copy !req
806. We've all been there.Copy !req
807. Well, I've been assaulted,
like, a million times,Copy !req
808. but I'm more annoyedCopy !req
809. that everyone knows me
for being beautiful
and popularCopy !req
810. and no one knows
that I'm actually smart
and super driven.Copy !req
811. Like, I literally own
a jewelry business
and no one talks about it!Copy !req
812. See?Copy !req
813. Well, ever since
my parents' divorce,Copy !req
814. my mom has been doing this,
like, midlife crisis.Copy !req
815. I don't know how that's really
sitting with me, you know?Copy !req
816. It's been really, really dark.Copy !req
817. This has just been really
meaningful to me to, like,Copy !req
818. get to know some new people
who actually want to,
like, get to know me.Copy !req
819. - I want to bring it back
to Brittany for one second.
- I can go next,Copy !req
820. if that's okay.Copy !req
821. I don't really like talking
about juvieCopy !req
822. and everything that happened
this summer, um...Copy !req
823. You know, obviously,
we get a lot of props
or whateverCopy !req
824. 'cause people think
it's so badass.Copy !req
825. But, really wasn't.Copy !req
826. I mean, unless you consider
getting hazed horrifically
every single night,Copy !req
827. like, badass. I mean, um,Copy !req
828. obviously, you know,
we had to survive the TributesCopy !req
829. and, you know,
I did have to, like,Copy !req
830. fight people basically
every single night.Copy !req
831. People were betting on us
and we were given, like,Copy !req
832. shivs and rusty pocket knives
and splintered woodCopy !req
833. and, um, pipes as well.Copy !req
834. And, um, we had to just,
like, fight people,
sometimes to the death.Copy !req
835. Um, and I still hear
their screams at night,Copy !req
836. um, and that guilt
probably will, like,
always shackle me forever.Copy !req
837. I realize now, I don't have
to be that person anymore.Copy !req
838. Like, I don't have
to just let thingsCopy !req
839. happen to me
'cause of you guys.Copy !req
840. And, um, I am,
like, really gratefulCopy !req
841. for what the club
has become and...Copy !req
842. Um...Copy !req
843. Just especially, you know,
from where we started
and, uh...Copy !req
844. Yeah, sorry.Copy !req
845. I feel like
I kinda killed the vibe.Copy !req
846. I've never really,Copy !req
847. I guess, said that
to anyone before. Sorry.Copy !req
848. People wanna, like,
wrap up maybe or...Copy !req
849. I'm going through a divorce.Copy !req
850. Whoo! That shit felt
good to say.Copy !req
851. Ooh, I'll tell y'all,Copy !req
852. men... men need therapy.Copy !req
853. Yeah.Copy !req
854. I think that's a good place
to maybe wrap up.Copy !req
855. - Hey.
- Hey.Copy !req
856. Um...Copy !req
857. Thank you, um, for that.Copy !req
858. Um...Copy !req
859. I don't know
what you're doing tomorrow,Copy !req
860. but I was going to study
for Mr. G's women murdered
in history test,Copy !req
861. if you wanna...Copy !req
862. Yeah.Copy !req
863. Yeah, okay, sure.Copy !req
864. Mom?Copy !req
865. Mom?Copy !req
866. Oh, hi, honey.Copy !req
867. What are you doing home
so early?Copy !req
868. Uh...Copy !req
869. Are you kidding me?Copy !req
870. I had a long day.Copy !req
871. Mrs. Callahan,
can I have a snack?Copy !req
872. First club fundraiser.Copy !req
873. I'm so excited.
Great turnout, right?Copy !req
874. Hello, ladies.Copy !req
875. Hi, Bill, Bob, Fred...Copy !req
876. I don't know why anyone
wants my old, dirty underwear.Copy !req
877. It's so weird.Copy !req
878. Hey, Britt, uh, don't let 'em
touch in between your toes.Copy !req
879. Thanks, PJ.Copy !req
880. - Ah. We're havin' fun.Copy !req
881. We're selling panties.Copy !req
882. You know, Brittany said she'd
make me a custom bracelet.Copy !req
883. Very nice.Copy !req
884. Do you wanna,
um, celebrate?Copy !req
885. We could get some chicken
on a stick tonight.Copy !req
886. Um, I can't. Uh...Copy !req
887. Isabel and I have plans, so...Copy !req
888. You're hanging out
with Isabel?Copy !req
889. Yep.Copy !req
890. Fuck, you're fast.
Oh, my God, okay.Copy !req
891. I have to keep up.Copy !req
892. Hazel, what is wrong?Copy !req
893. Are you constipated
or something?Copy !req
894. I'm fucking tired.Copy !req
895. My mom was up all night
fucking the meathead.Copy !req
896. What meathead?
Hi. Underwear, cars.Copy !req
897. - Thanks.
- You know, like, the guy.Copy !req
898. He's like the crybaby.Copy !req
899. With the balls?Copy !req
900. He catches them
and he... he throws them?Copy !req
901. He's like the main guy.Copy !req
902. Jeff?Copy !req
903. Is your mom hooking up
with Jeff?Copy !req
904. I just thought Jeff might be
her safe word.Copy !req
905. Jeff is his name, you idiot.Copy !req
906. Just get the hot people
confused, Jesus.Copy !req
907. I'm good.Copy !req
908. Looking good, Stella!Copy !req
909. Are you gonna tell her?Copy !req
910. Yeah, they said
they were in juvie this summer.Copy !req
911. Okay, are you sure
they're not in the system?Copy !req
912. But isn't every kid from
Rockbridge Falls sent there?Copy !req
913. Hit me! Ow!Copy !req
914. Okay, yeah, Essex County.
Any others?Copy !req
915. Got it. Thank you.Copy !req
916. Jeff!Copy !req
917. No, yeah, but I thought
she was maybe dead.Copy !req
918. - Not good.
- That's not the best.Copy !req
919. - No. No, not great.
- That's not a great thing.Copy !req
920. I wanted to...Copy !req
921. I wanted to tell you
that, um, I'm...Copy !req
922. I'm very glad
that I joined the club.Copy !req
923. Me too.Copy !req
924. I think it's really impressiveCopy !req
925. that you and PJ went through
everything that you didCopy !req
926. and now have decided
to help the rest of us.Copy !req
927. I mean even that story
you told the other day.Copy !req
928. You're really, really brave.Copy !req
929. No.Copy !req
930. No. No, no.Copy !req
931. Yes. I mean you almost
killed a girl.Copy !req
932. You're...Copy !req
933. Yeah, you're...Copy !req
934. really, really brave.Copy !req
935. What?Copy !req
936. Actually, Isabel, uh...Copy !req
937. - There's, um...
- Yeah?Copy !req
938. There's something
you maybe should know.Copy !req
939. Uh...Copy !req
940. I mean it's pretty insane.Copy !req
941. Okay.
What... what is it?Copy !req
942. I just, I...Copy !req
943. I heard Jeff
is cheating on you.Copy !req
944. Wait...Copy !req
945. Wait, what?Copy !req
946. I... I... Sorry, I think I...
I heard...Copy !req
947. Um, what? Um...
Who... who told you that?Copy !req
948. Hazel told me that, uh,
he and Mrs. CallahanCopy !req
949. are at it, pretty much,
like, every night,Copy !req
950. - like, constantly.Copy !req
951. I mean, just at it
with each other,
which is pretty fucked up.Copy !req
952. Um, even though I guess
it's, technically, it's legal,Copy !req
953. it's still just
pretty nasty, uh...Copy !req
954. Oh.Copy !req
955. Thanks.Copy !req
956. Jeff so hungy.
Hungy hungy, hungy.Copy !req
957. Jeff so hungy.Copy !req
958. Swoosh!Copy !req
959. What the fuck is this?Copy !req
960. Is there pineapple in this?Copy !req
961. We talked about this, Janice.Copy !req
962. Jeffrey's allergic
to pineapple.Copy !req
963. Eat a bag of dicks.Copy !req
964. Well, I wasn't going to do it,
but this is the last straw.Copy !req
965. How was last night?Copy !req
966. Uh, bad, probably,
I would say.Copy !req
967. Wait, really?Copy !req
968. She's walking really fast.Copy !req
969. She usually walks
a lot slower.Copy !req
970. Hi.Copy !req
971. Are you having sex
with Mrs. Callahan?Copy !req
972. Baby, you look so beautiful.Copy !req
973. Like, so fucking hot.
How... how are you?Copy !req
974. Bad. Are you having sex
with her?Copy !req
975. I'm... I'm...Copy !req
976. helping her with her taxes.Copy !req
977. Aren't you
in eighth grade algebra?Copy !req
978. I can't answer
that questionCopy !req
979. because I... I don't know
how to read.Copy !req
980. She's asking you to your face!Copy !req
981. Fuck, that usually works.Copy !req
982. Are you cheating
on me again?Copy !req
983. Baby, no! No!Copy !req
984. No, why would...
why would I do—Copy !req
985. That was one time
with your sister, just once,Copy !req
986. two, four times.Copy !req
987. No, I would never cheat
on you again, okay?Copy !req
988. I promise you
I am not sleeping with her.Copy !req
989. I literally saw you yesterday.Copy !req
990. Shut up, nerd!
I fucked your mom!Copy !req
991. - Mmm. Mmm.Copy !req
992. Wait.Copy !req
993. - Yeah, we're done.
- Isabel...Copy !req
994. I'm getting revenge.Copy !req
995. I'm gonna fuck up
some football players.
And I'm buyin' a gun.Copy !req
996. Hell yeah.
I'll get my stepdad's.Copy !req
997. What about, like, egging?Copy !req
998. Yeah, so we can make 'em
not refrigerated and smelly?Copy !req
999. Ooh, we could cook 'em
and be like...Copy !req
1000. - "You're cooked."
- Yes. Yeah.Copy !req
1001. Or what about, like, a bomb?Copy !req
1002. Like a...
like a super small bomb.Copy !req
1003. I mean, they're super easy
to make,Copy !req
1004. and I can just put it
under his car,Copy !req
1005. and it can be a distraction.Copy !req
1006. Yeah, Hazel,
let's do terrorism.Copy !req
1007. Fuck you.Copy !req
1008. Sylvie,
you can't just throw it.Copy !req
1009. You have to fucking jump
with it.Copy !req
1010. - I'm trying.
- Okay,
watch me. Just...Copy !req
1011. Damn, we're, uh...
We're really gonna
scare them off.Copy !req
1012. Nice! Nice!Copy !req
1013. I think I'mma help Isabel
keep watch, so...Copy !req
1014. Okay, well,
don't get distracted,Copy !req
1015. 'cause we could be fined,
like, $2 for this, so...Copy !req
1016. Thought you might want
some company.Copy !req
1017. - Thank you.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1018. It's nice everybody's here, like...Copy !req
1019. vandalizing...Copy !req
1020. Jeff's house.Copy !req
1021. It is nice.Copy !req
1022. I, uh...Copy !req
1023. Like, how are you doing?Copy !req
1024. I mean,
I think it's for the best.Copy !req
1025. But I did kind of miss
when he would touch my hairCopy !req
1026. and go, like,Copy !req
1027. "Shiny, shiny, shiny."
You know?Copy !req
1028. I wanted to tell you
this before, but...Copy !req
1029. I really appreciated
you fightingCopy !req
1030. and speaking loudly
at my boyfriend.Copy !req
1031. I really valueCopy !req
1032. when people use violence
and raise their voices for me.Copy !req
1033. It's actually one
of my love languages.Copy !req
1034. - Is the other one gifts?
- The other one is gifts.Copy !req
1035. Um, I knowCopy !req
1036. everything is, like,
really fucked up and...Copy !req
1037. you still probably miss Jeff,
which I get,Copy !req
1038. but I just thinkCopy !req
1039. you deserve way better, Isabel.Copy !req
1040. 'Kay, guys.Copy !req
1041. Let's make sure we return
or donate these, okay?Copy !req
1042. Does anybody know
where the fuck Hazel is?Copy !req
1043. Like, 15 minutes?Copy !req
1044. - Oh, fuck. Fuck! Fuck!Copy !req
1045. Okay. Um...Copy !req
1046. It's gonna blow!Copy !req
1047. Oh, wow, yeah,
it's gonna blow, guys.Copy !req
1048. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1049. What the fuck?Copy !req
1050. Holy shit.Copy !req
1051. Oh, fuck, there's no door!Copy !req
1052. - Annie,
Annie, back up!
- I'm going, I'm going!Copy !req
1053. Stop fucking yelling at me!Copy !req
1054. - I'm going!
- Fuck.Copy !req
1055. Oh, fuck!Copy !req
1056. Can you listen to me for,
like, once...Copy !req
1057. Ted! Ted-ay! Theodore!Copy !req
1058. You're awesome!
- No, you're awesome.Copy !req
1059. Great. What are we supposed
to do now?Copy !req
1060. Relax. No one knows it's us.Copy !req
1061. Hey, guys.Copy !req
1062. Great show last night.Copy !req
1063. I don't know what
you're talking about.Copy !req
1064. Oh, you don't.
No, it's really all good.Copy !req
1065. Jeffrey needed a new car,
anyway, so...Copy !req
1066. don't worry about it.Copy !req
1067. What's wrong, Josie?Copy !req
1068. You seem a little off.Copy !req
1069. Your club is over.Copy !req
1070. You understand?Copy !req
1071. Good.Copy !req
1072. All right, well,
some of us clearlyCopy !req
1073. have a different definition
of egging,Copy !req
1074. but if we keep
our mouths shut,
stay calm, we'll be fine.Copy !req
1075. They're gonna shut us down,
aren't they?Copy !req
1076. What?Copy !req
1077. No. We don't know that.Copy !req
1078. - What— Why—
- Principal Meyers
will believeCopy !req
1079. whatever Jeff and Tim say.Copy !req
1080. I don't really see how
we recover from this.Copy !req
1081. Man...Copy !req
1082. Fuck.Copy !req
1083. You know,
it's been real, guys.Copy !req
1084. Okay, let's not jump
to conclusionsCopy !req
1085. with the goodbyes and...Copy !req
1086. I'm gonna miss you guys
so much.Copy !req
1087. And like, at least
we went out with a bang.Copy !req
1088. I mean, that was
fucking insane!Copy !req
1089. There was just, like,
fire everywhere.Copy !req
1090. Wait. Stop.Copy !req
1091. We don't— Wait, no,
we don't know that for sure.Copy !req
1092. PJ, don't be sad it's over.
Be happy it happened.Copy !req
1093. All right, can everyone
calm the fuck down, please?Copy !req
1094. The club is not over,
Josie, right?Copy !req
1095. No matter what,Copy !req
1096. this club has brought me
so much.Copy !req
1097. I feel...Copy !req
1098. so much more powerful
and, um...Copy !req
1099. protected.Copy !req
1100. - Me too.Copy !req
1101. - Great.
- Oh, my God, PJ.Copy !req
1102. Okay, I'm sorry
that you didn't getCopy !req
1103. what you wanted
out of this group,Copy !req
1104. but I think
the rest of us did.Copy !req
1105. Oh. Good for fucking you, Hazel.Copy !req
1106. I'm glad that you finally
wrote one email.Copy !req
1107. - Accomplished a lot.
- I actually did.Copy !req
1108. I practically ran this club
for you and Josie.Copy !req
1109. Hey, let's calm down, maybe.Copy !req
1110. You really think
that you're the reason
that we have this club?Copy !req
1111. The reason? No.Copy !req
1112. But I can tell everyone that
if you want.Copy !req
1113. Hazel. Uh, hey,
let's calm down, right?Copy !req
1114. You're really ungrateful.Copy !req
1115. You're so lucky
that we even let you
be a part of this.Copy !req
1116. PJ, you're a liar.Copy !req
1117. Yeah, well,
you have no friends,Copy !req
1118. and a skank as a mom, so...Copy !req
1119. - Hazel.Copy !req
1120. PJ...Copy !req
1121. This doesn't mean
it wasn't worth it.Copy !req
1122. Hazel.Copy !req
1123. Whoa.Copy !req
1124. I love God.Copy !req
1125. - Yes, same.Copy !req
1126. Yeah.Copy !req
1127. Oh, my God,
I always wanted
one of these.Copy !req
1128. But my mom says
they hide your figure
and make you look ugly.Copy !req
1129. Um, you can borrow it
if you want.Copy !req
1130. Like, as a joke or...Copy !req
1131. whatever.Copy !req
1132. Thanks.Copy !req
1133. Yeah.Copy !req
1134. Wow, you and PJCopy !req
1135. really have been
friends forever.Copy !req
1136. Oh, I mean,
since the first grade, so...Copy !req
1137. We had the same
babysitter, Rhodes.Copy !req
1138. PJ called her Gay Yoda,
but I think she's kind of
like a mentor.Copy !req
1139. Yeah, but you guys, like,
could not be more different.Copy !req
1140. She's so, like...Copy !req
1141. like...Copy !req
1142. You know?Copy !req
1143. - Yeah.
- And you're...Copy !req
1144. You're so, like...Copy !req
1145. - You know what I mean?
- No, yeah, I know.Copy !req
1146. Josie...Copy !req
1147. I'm tryna help
your jewelry business grow.Copy !req
1148. - Really?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1149. I don't know if I can hire you
because you're like a convict.Copy !req
1150. Wow.Copy !req
1151. This is, um, a total shithole.Copy !req
1152. Kind of a mess. Sorry.Copy !req
1153. Well, I hear that
if you hire a convict,Copy !req
1154. they give you a tax break.Copy !req
1155. I fucking hate Mr. G.Copy !req
1156. Everything he says
is so pathetic.Copy !req
1157. Oh, yeah. I mean,Copy !req
1158. I feel like he, like,
jerks off to a posterCopy !req
1159. of the 1999 Rockbridge team
every single night, so...Copy !req
1160. Literally the peak
of his existence.Copy !req
1161. Like, what is the point
of this assignment?Copy !req
1162. Who is bell hooks
and why do we care?Copy !req
1163. Oh, sorry, I'm just trying to,
like, study over here.Copy !req
1164. Watch out.Copy !req
1165. What?Copy !req
1166. Uh, nothing, I'm just...Copy !req
1167. I'm just concerned
'cause I'm, like...Copy !req
1168. Your wrists are so small,
and the pen is so heavy
that I'm like,Copy !req
1169. - "Is she getting exhausted?"
- Mmm.Copy !req
1170. I'm surprised you can even see
what you're doingCopy !req
1171. with all the surface areaCopy !req
1172. - that yours are taking up.Copy !req
1173. Wow.Copy !req
1174. Must be a struggle
for you to write.Copy !req
1175. Okay, does this hurt?Copy !req
1176. Actually, yeah, that does hurt
my tiny, delicate wrists.Copy !req
1177. Yeah, that was
the lightest tap of all time.Copy !req
1178. - Can you feel that?
- Can't even feel that.Copy !req
1179. - Can't feel anything.
- Just like muscles in there.Copy !req
1180. Um...Copy !req
1181. Uh...Copy !req
1182. PJ, I'm... I'm straight.Copy !req
1183. Oh.Copy !req
1184. Um...Copy !req
1185. Yeah. Um...Copy !req
1186. - I'm... I'm sorry
if you misread anything.
- No, that's all...Copy !req
1187. It's all good. I shouldn't
have assumed anything.Copy !req
1188. Um...Copy !req
1189. I wanted to tell you something.Copy !req
1190. What?Copy !req
1191. Like, something that happened
last night.Copy !req
1192. What happened?Copy !req
1193. With Isabel.Copy !req
1194. Wait.Copy !req
1195. Wait, seriously?Copy !req
1196. That's... that's amazing.
That's...Copy !req
1197. Everybody,Copy !req
1198. - even the fucking losers...
- Even the fucking losers!Copy !req
1199. make some noise!Copy !req
1200. I thought you were
super Christian.Copy !req
1201. I know. I just like getting
caught up in the festivities.Copy !req
1202. All right, uh, so we're gonna
do the pep rally.Copy !req
1203. First up, cheerleaders.Copy !req
1204. Football!Copy !req
1205. Whoo! Yeah,
thank you, ladies. Ooh!Copy !req
1206. Thank you all for joining us
here today, folks.Copy !req
1207. There's been someCopy !req
1208. exciting stuff happening
at Rockbridge Falls recently.Copy !req
1209. Oh.Copy !req
1210. How many of youCopy !req
1211. know about that little girl
fight club that could?Copy !req
1212. Ay, there go my girls.Copy !req
1213. Well, do we have
a surprise for you.Copy !req
1214. We're gonna bring...
Where is she?Copy !req
1215. Hazel down.Copy !req
1216. One of the founding members.Copy !req
1217. To show us everything
the club's taught herCopy !req
1218. in a fun little challenge.Copy !req
1219. - Let's go, Hazel!
- Go, Hazel!Copy !req
1220. - What is this?
- I... I don't know.Copy !req
1221. Hazel will be
fighting Tucker,Copy !req
1222. the school's number one boxer.Copy !req
1223. Wait, I thought I was gonna be
fighting PJ?Copy !req
1224. I know what you're thinking,
but don't be alarmed.Copy !req
1225. Girls can do anything
guys can do, right?Copy !req
1226. Yeah, kick his ass!Copy !req
1227. Ready?Copy !req
1228. - Fuck.
- Go.Copy !req
1229. - Oh, my God.Copy !req
1230. - You got this, Hazel.
- Come on, Hazel!Copy !req
1231. - You got it.Copy !req
1232. Shit.Copy !req
1233. Whoo! Get him!Copy !req
1234. - The fuck
are you doing?
- Is she, like,Copy !req
1235. sort of winning or...Copy !req
1236. No, leave the skin
on his face, will you?Copy !req
1237. - Fuck.Copy !req
1238. Oh. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1239. I know what you're thinking.Copy !req
1240. You may be wondering
how a girl
under the training of...Copy !req
1241. of two juvie convicted killersCopy !req
1242. can't even stand up
for herself
against a regular old guy.Copy !req
1243. Well, truth is, they...Copy !req
1244. they didn't go to juvie.Copy !req
1245. No.Copy !req
1246. There's no record
of them there.Copy !req
1247. And according to Hazel...Copy !req
1248. they never fought
anyone at all.Copy !req
1249. And you know what else?Copy !req
1250. They didn't start the club
to empower women.Copy !req
1251. They did it
to fuck cheerleaders.Copy !req
1252. What is wrong with you?Copy !req
1253. It is such a shame.Copy !req
1254. We were really rooting
for you girls.Copy !req
1255. - Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
1256. Okay.Copy !req
1257. - Thank you for attending...
- Hazel!Copy !req
1258. - ... today's pep rally.
Go Vikings! Fuck Huntington!
- Is she okay?Copy !req
1259. - Hazel!
- Whoo!Copy !req
1260. - Yes!
- Yes!Copy !req
1261. Is that true?Copy !req
1262. That's why you started this?Copy !req
1263. No, no, no.Copy !req
1264. Not... not entirely.Copy !req
1265. Not entire— Okay.Copy !req
1266. Listen guys.
It doesn't matter...Copy !req
1267. the reason that we started
this, right? Like...Copy !req
1268. The point of the clubCopy !req
1269. is that we all learn
from each other, right?Copy !req
1270. And... and we had a great time
doing it and...Copy !req
1271. I thought this club
was for sisterhood,Copy !req
1272. but it was for your own
selfish interests?Copy !req
1273. This is the second wave
all over again.Copy !req
1274. Isabel, please, please, wait.Copy !req
1275. PJ made me do this.
I didn't want to.Copy !req
1276. I would never want to do this.Copy !req
1277. You're pathetic, Josie.Copy !req
1278. Mr. G,
we're really sorry, we...Copy !req
1279. All right, look.Copy !req
1280. You know what?
I'm not a fuckin' idiot.Copy !req
1281. I just look like this.Copy !req
1282. I wasn't doin' this shit
as a distraction.Copy !req
1283. I actually was doin' this shit
'cause I actually liked
y'all groupCopy !req
1284. and what y'all stood for.Copy !req
1285. - Wait, we can explain.
- I trusted you twoCopy !req
1286. and y'all exploited
my solidarity.Copy !req
1287. I played the role
of an amazin' ally.Copy !req
1288. Is this about the time I saidCopy !req
1289. Amelia Earhart
was a fake hero?Copy !req
1290. Because it's true.Copy !req
1291. Many a guy fly planes
without crashing,Copy !req
1292. but you never hear about them.Copy !req
1293. And then it's like,Copy !req
1294. "Oh, it's so hard
to be a girl."Copy !req
1295. "We, like, make less money."Copy !req
1296. "We had to lose
our last names."Copy !req
1297. "I love you."Copy !req
1298. "I want to be with you
for the rest of our lives."Copy !req
1299. "Oh, I love the mint green
backsplash in the kitchen."Copy !req
1300. And all of a sudden,Copy !req
1301. you leave me
for a motherfucker named TonyCopy !req
1302. and suddenly,
the fucking kitchen
is lime green.Copy !req
1303. I think...Copy !req
1304. Yeah, I think that moved
away from us.Copy !req
1305. Oh, you look confused,
like how I'm confused
right now,Copy !req
1306. on how you created
a fucking fight club
to get some cooch.Copy !req
1307. And for what? Y'all ain't even
know how to work that thing.Copy !req
1308. And I know y'all ain't
tickling the pearl,Copy !req
1309. you know what
I'm talking about?Copy !req
1310. You know what I mean?
Caressing the backCopy !req
1311. of that neck
and all type of—Copy !req
1312. Sorry, I just don't know
if you're supposed
to be talking to us like that.Copy !req
1313. Just, like, as a teacher...Copy !req
1314. Man, I knew women were evil.Copy !req
1315. Motherfuckers always
tellin' me like,
"No, that's not true."Copy !req
1316. But time and time again...Copy !req
1317. - Women ain't nothing
but the fuckin' devil.Copy !req
1318. I can't fuckin' believe Hazel.Copy !req
1319. Okay, well, you were pretty
horrible to her yesterday.Copy !req
1320. I'm sorry, what?
This is... this is my fault?Copy !req
1321. I'm not the one who put Isabel
on a rampage.Copy !req
1322. Sorry, what does that have
to do with anything?Copy !req
1323. If Isabel wasn't so desperate
to get revenge,Copy !req
1324. then we wouldn't have
blown up Jeff's carCopy !req
1325. and then he wouldn't be
so upsetCopy !req
1326. and then whatever the fuck
just happened
would not have happened.Copy !req
1327. Okay, so all of the blame
just goes on me then?Copy !req
1328. Like, none of this can
be traced back to you at all?Copy !req
1329. Well, I mean, yeah,
it was your idea
to start the whole club.Copy !req
1330. I didn't want to do this
from the beginning.Copy !req
1331. You know that.Copy !req
1332. I just followed your lead
like an idiot.Copy !req
1333. You followed my lead when
you created that insane storyCopy !req
1334. about girls betting on you
to fight other girls
with shivs.Copy !req
1335. You're just mad
because I did this.Copy !req
1336. I... I... I got to be
with Isabel on my own.Copy !req
1337. Without you.Copy !req
1338. No, you never would
have talked to her without me,Copy !req
1339. - ever.Copy !req
1340. I'm the one who made it
happen for you.Copy !req
1341. You know what's so funny
about this whole
fucking thing,Copy !req
1342. all your little schemes,Copy !req
1343. all your,
"Oh, we'll have our yearCopy !req
1344. and we'll fuck
so many girls,"
and whatever?Copy !req
1345. Is that you're the only one
who didn't do anything.Copy !req
1346. Yeah, well, that's 'cause
Brittany's straight, so...Copy !req
1347. Yeah, no, shit,
she's straight.Copy !req
1348. Does it even matter?Copy !req
1349. Do you even care?
Do you actually like her?Copy !req
1350. Do you care about anyone
other than yourself?Copy !req
1351. Just find some other girlCopy !req
1352. to fucking jack off to
and do nothing about.Copy !req
1353. Cool. Yeah, I will.Copy !req
1354. PJ.Copy !req
1355. - Ted?
- Mmm-mmm-mmm.Copy !req
1356. Ted.Copy !req
1357. Ted!Copy !req
1358. Ted!Copy !req
1359. - Josie, what the hell?Copy !req
1360. Why... why... why you look
like a scared puppy?Copy !req
1361. Hey, Rhodes.Copy !req
1362. Do you have a minute to talk?Copy !req
1363. If you don't wanna
borrow firearms,Copy !req
1364. - then why are you here?
- Um...Copy !req
1365. - Like, for advice?Copy !req
1366. I'm not your Gay Yoda, Josie.Copy !req
1367. You're too old for this shit.Copy !req
1368. Girl, when I was
in high school,Copy !req
1369. people found out I was gay,
nobody wanted to be my friend.Copy !req
1370. And back then it was worseCopy !req
1371. because they hated you
just for being gay.Copy !req
1372. Not for being
gay and untalented.Copy !req
1373. Mmm.Copy !req
1374. Sorry, people didn't know
you were gay?Copy !req
1375. Girl, I wore a weave
back then, okay?Copy !req
1376. And I used to say,Copy !req
1377. "Hey, girl. Hey..."Copy !req
1378. Look, that's not the point.Copy !req
1379. You want some advice?Copy !req
1380. Invest in yourself,Copy !req
1381. teach people to fear you
instead of love you.Copy !req
1382. I don't wanna, like, deny
your advice, obviously.Copy !req
1383. I just, um...Copy !req
1384. PJ and I are actually
in a fight right now.Copy !req
1385. - So, like...Copy !req
1386. Like, that's the advice
that I need.Copy !req
1387. I never had many friends,
and that's... that's sad.Copy !req
1388. And as I've gotten old
in this world,Copy !req
1389. it's just gotten more sad.Copy !req
1390. Okay, um...Copy !req
1391. I think I'm just gonna go
to the gameCopy !req
1392. and then work it out
with PJ there.Copy !req
1393. I wouldn't do that.Copy !req
1394. Why not?Copy !req
1395. - It's with Huntington, right?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1396. Well, I'm guessing
they've been fucking people up
for the past month, right?Copy !req
1397. - Yeah.
- So, they're violent.Copy !req
1398. What do you think's
gonna happen tonight?Copy !req
1399. I don't know. Football?Copy !req
1400. - Game? Tackle?Copy !req
1401. Oh, girl.Copy !req
1402. There is a 50-year rivalry
going on.Copy !req
1403. They always fuck up
some unlucky player.Copy !req
1404. How you don't know—Copy !req
1405. In '77, they burned him
at a stake with his dog.Copy !req
1406. In '92, they drowned him
in a giant kiddie pool.Copy !req
1407. And in '03, they pulled
his body apart with horses.Copy !req
1408. It's called quartering.Copy !req
1409. I know... I know
what it's called.Copy !req
1410. So, tonight,
I'm stayin' insideCopy !req
1411. and double boltin'
those doors.Copy !req
1412. If you ever grab a—
Nah, I don't care.Copy !req
1413. I didn't understand a word
of that, I'm so sorry.Copy !req
1414. Just go. Go, just, go.
I don't wanna go.Copy !req
1415. - Oh, my God.Copy !req
1416. - Hey.
- How did you find me?Copy !req
1417. Why are you breathing
so heavy?Copy !req
1418. Okay. I know we're not
in a great place right now—Copy !req
1419. Yeah, because I'm pissed.
I'm fuckin' pissed.Copy !req
1420. Okay, well, I just still think
we need to talkCopy !req
1421. about everything
that's, like, going on.Copy !req
1422. Yeah, cool, well,
I don't wanna hear it, so...Copy !req
1423. Okay, maybe you
should reconsiderCopy !req
1424. because I saw Rhodes,
she says hi, by the way.Copy !req
1425. She said
this Huntington shit's
way darker than we thought.Copy !req
1426. Apparently,
every time Huntington
plays Rockbridge,Copy !req
1427. they try to kill a player
and his pets.Copy !req
1428. The pets?Copy !req
1429. It's bloodlust, man.
That's not the point.Copy !req
1430. Sounds like I should getCopy !req
1431. - the fuck out
of here now. Okay?
- No.Copy !req
1432. PJ, seriously, come on.Copy !req
1433. We need to get
the club back together,Copy !req
1434. so we can save them.Copy !req
1435. What?Copy !req
1436. Sorry, you're saying
you want me and then youCopy !req
1437. and then all of the girls
that fuckin' hate usCopy !req
1438. to get together and save
some fucking football player,Copy !req
1439. who we hate?Copy !req
1440. Circle of bad vibes.Copy !req
1441. Okay, well, obviously,
why would you
lay it out like that?Copy !req
1442. Because it sounds insane.Copy !req
1443. 'Cause it is.
Why would we do that?Copy !req
1444. Because we made
these girls trust us
and then we humiliated them.Copy !req
1445. They deserve a shot
at showing everybodyCopy !req
1446. what they know,
what they learned,Copy !req
1447. how fucking cool they are.Copy !req
1448. Let's do this for the club.Copy !req
1449. What do you say?Copy !req
1450. - Can we save the damn day?Copy !req
1451. Wow.Copy !req
1452. Pulling out the necklaceCopy !req
1453. - in the final fuckin' hour.
- Well...Copy !req
1454. Yeah.Copy !req
1455. Mmm. Nice.Copy !req
1456. Rockbridge,
this is the most
important day of your life.Copy !req
1457. Forget your wedding,
forget your funeral,Copy !req
1458. fuck your bar mitzvah.Copy !req
1459. This is what matters.Copy !req
1460. Gameday, let's do this!Copy !req
1461. - Let's go, Vikings!
- We're almost there.Copy !req
1462. Okay, first off,
PJ has something
to say to Hazel, so...Copy !req
1463. The apology. Do the apology.
Do the apology, instead.Copy !req
1464. Okay.Copy !req
1465. I'm sorry that I called
your mom a skank.Copy !req
1466. And I'm sorryCopy !req
1467. for saying that you have
no friends really loudCopy !req
1468. in front of all
of your friends.Copy !req
1469. And I'm sorry
for being an asshole
a lot of the time.Copy !req
1470. Most of the—
All of the time.Copy !req
1471. And I do think that it's nice
you always take notesCopy !req
1472. and then you type them up
and email them to everyone...Copy !req
1473. and I really appreciate it.Copy !req
1474. Do you forgive me?Copy !req
1475. Yes.Copy !req
1476. I don't want
to interrupt this
gorgeous momentCopy !req
1477. but we don't have time nowCopy !req
1478. because I got information from
a very confidential sourceCopy !req
1479. that Huntington
is trying to killCopy !req
1480. someone on this team tonight.Copy !req
1481. What are you even
talking about, Josie?Copy !req
1482. Nobody's even over there.Copy !req
1483. Oh, my God,
nobody is even over there.Copy !req
1484. Well, that is obviously
a red flag.Copy !req
1485. Are we not reading that
as a red flag? That's crazy.Copy !req
1486. - What?
- Please, Annie.Copy !req
1487. Even though
you're a Black Republican,Copy !req
1488. you are the smartest
out of all of us, okay?Copy !req
1489. I mean, obviously I know that.
You think I don't know that?Copy !req
1490. Then help us
figure this out.Copy !req
1491. We need to stop the game.
We need to save them.Copy !req
1492. Wait, wait, hang on. Hazel...Copy !req
1493. we need a distraction.Copy !req
1494. Oh, now you want a bomb.Copy !req
1495. I know you really must
hate me right now,Copy !req
1496. but the club needs you.Copy !req
1497. To what? Have sex with them?Copy !req
1498. Guys, we really,
really need you. We do.Copy !req
1499. In your fucking dreams, PJ.Copy !req
1500. Which you don't deserve
to have.Copy !req
1501. When you sleep,Copy !req
1502. - it should be, like... Total darkness.
- Rockbridge,
are you ready?Copy !req
1503. - Oh, fuck.
- Wow, okay.Copy !req
1504. Okay, wait, seriously,Copy !req
1505. maybe if you
just listened to us.Copy !req
1506. - Just listen to us. Whoa!
- Brittany.Copy !req
1507. Here comes your team!
- Isabel.Copy !req
1508. I wouldn't be asking you
if this wasn't important!Copy !req
1509. We don't have time
for this.Copy !req
1510. - Josie, come on.
- Hazel!Copy !req
1511. - Okay, now that you're all...
- Ugh. Uh...Copy !req
1512. warmed up,
I want you guys...Copy !req
1513. Is it the red wire?Copy !req
1514. Shit, or is it the yellow?Copy !req
1515. Shawshank your way out.Copy !req
1516. - Put your hands together...
- You got this, Jeff.Copy !req
1517. - ... and shake your tanks.
- You got it!Copy !req
1518. Hazel! It's starting!Copy !req
1519. Jeff!Copy !req
1520. Jeff! Eat my pussy!Copy !req
1521. Come on, come on!Copy !req
1522. Jeff! Jeff! Jeff!Copy !req
1523. - Hurry, Hazel!
- It's gonna blow.Copy !req
1524. Hazel, come on!
Hazel!Copy !req
1525. Hazel, come on!Copy !req
1526. - Hazel, it's not working.
- Hazel, it's not going.Copy !req
1527. - Oh, no.
- Fuck. Fucking...Copy !req
1528. - Maybe turn it off...
- Maybe hit it?Copy !req
1529. No. Give me space. Stop.Copy !req
1530. Turn it off
and then back on.Copy !req
1531. Jeff!Copy !req
1532. - I want you to rub
Vicks VapoRub on your tanksCopy !req
1533. and dance around
like the fruitbats
that you are!Copy !req
1534. Okay, plan B. We need to get
the cheerleaders to make out.Copy !req
1535. Wait, okay, which cheerleaders
do you think?Copy !req
1536. It's a distraction.
We need a distraction.Copy !req
1537. - Guys.
- Hey, guys.Copy !req
1538. Guys, kiss each other.Copy !req
1539. Make out.
Make out with each other!Copy !req
1540. We need
to delay the game.Copy !req
1541. Guys! Make out
with each other!Copy !req
1542. Everyone,
get your guns out,
hide your childrenCopy !req
1543. because here comes Huntington.Copy !req
1544. - Fuck you! Bitch!
- What the frick is up?Copy !req
1545. - Yeah! Get back!
- Yeah! Wake up, pussy!Copy !req
1546. Hold me back!Copy !req
1547. You're so lucky!
You're so fucking lucky.Copy !req
1548. Hazel! Hazel! Hazel!Copy !req
1549. What do we do?Copy !req
1550. Look, look, look.Copy !req
1551. Oh, wait. I'm gay.Copy !req
1552. Okay, yeah, I'm not.Copy !req
1553. I just like gay porn.Copy !req
1554. This is nothing
like porn at all.Copy !req
1555. Wait.Copy !req
1556. Is porn even real?Copy !req
1557. Can we cut the gay shit
and get this show on the road?Copy !req
1558. I came here for some good
man-on-man grappling
and slapping football!Copy !req
1559. Can everybody
stop looking
at the dyke parade?Copy !req
1560. Who do I have to blow
to get this game
started already?Copy !req
1561. - Yes!
- Now make 'em eat
a bag of urine cakes.Copy !req
1562. Look, I found empty
barrels of pineapple juice.Copy !req
1563. There is pineapple here.Copy !req
1564. So, they're gonna
poison Jeff then.Copy !req
1565. Where the fuck is it?Copy !req
1566. Fuck, I'm thinking
really quick.Copy !req
1567. What if it's in their mouths
and they're swishing it aroundCopy !req
1568. and then they're gonna
spit it out mid-game?Copy !req
1569. - What?
- I hate to say it,Copy !req
1570. but it might have something
to do with their semen.Copy !req
1571. Obviously, it does not.
What is wrong with you?Copy !req
1572. They kissed on the mouth.Copy !req
1573. - With tongue.
- As a distraction,Copy !req
1574. and we can do it again
if people are asking.Copy !req
1575. - Wait, when was this?
- The bomb didn't work,Copy !req
1576. and there was no
other distractions!Copy !req
1577. - Yeah, there was...
- And because we were...Copy !req
1578. - They're gonna spray the field.
- What?Copy !req
1579. - Okay,
we're gonna have to run.
- No!Copy !req
1580. - We're gonna have to run.
We're gonna have to run.
- We can't run. No!Copy !req
1581. No!Copy !req
1582. - Oh, my asthma.
- No, please!Copy !req
1583. You don't have asthma.Copy !req
1584. I feel like I have asthma now!Copy !req
1585. PJ!
Cover the sprinklers.Copy !req
1586. I got it.Copy !req
1587. Oh, fuck!Copy !req
1588. Get back here,
you fuckin' weasel!Copy !req
1589. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1590. You saved me.Copy !req
1591. You're... you're welcome?Copy !req
1592. Oh, no.Copy !req
1593. - I... Would...
- Mmm-mmm. Uh-uh.Copy !req
1594. Are you okay?Copy !req
1595. Yeah.Copy !req
1596. - Whoa.
- Hazel!Copy !req
1597. - Hazel! Hazel! Look out!
- Hey.Copy !req
1598. It's pineapple juice!Copy !req
1599. - Turn it off! Turn it off!
- 'Scuse me.Copy !req
1600. Turn it off!
Please just turn it off!Copy !req
1601. Yes.Copy !req
1602. Yes!Copy !req
1603. Yes, this is the Viking way!Copy !req
1604. Yes, thank you,
thank you.Copy !req
1605. You did it.Copy !req
1606. You fucking saved me.Copy !req
1607. Thank you,
thank you, thank you.Copy !req
1608. - Thanks.Copy !req
1609. - What is...
- I mean...Copy !req
1610. - Okay.
- I guess we did it.Copy !req
1611. We did that shit!Copy !req
1612. I mean...Copy !req
1613. Really proud of you.Copy !req
1614. I'm proud of us.Copy !req
1615. I do wanna say, um,Copy !req
1616. I feel like
you killed that guy.Copy !req
1617. Oh, yeah. I mean, we killed—Copy !req
1618. I think we killed...Copy !req
1619. - You killed that guy...
- No.Copy !req
1620. - Yeah, he's dead. That's dead.
- No. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1621. Yeah, we killed a couple.
We killed...Copy !req
1622. we killed a lot of guys.Copy !req
1623. I— Let's just—
We'll process it later.Copy !req
1624. - Much later.
- Later.Copy !req
1625. - Yeah.
- Um...Copy !req
1626. Do you wanna...Copy !req
1627. Yeah.Copy !req
1628. I just wanna say I'm sorry.Copy !req
1629. You don't have to forgive me
at all or anything.Copy !req
1630. But I, like, really want
you to know
how sorry I am.Copy !req
1631. I was kind of insane,Copy !req
1632. and the sheer amount
of lies I told is...Copy !req
1633. is shocking,Copy !req
1634. and it doesn't excuse
what I did.Copy !req
1635. But I really liked
getting to know you.Copy !req
1636. And I still really like you.Copy !req
1637. - I just...
- You know, you didn't have
to start, like, a wholeCopy !req
1638. fight club just to date me.Copy !req
1639. You could have just,
like, talked to me.Copy !req
1640. Oh. Okay, uh,
I don't really knowCopy !req
1641. how true that is.
You know what I mean...Copy !req
1642. Man, I knew women were good.Copy !req
1643. I been sayin' that shit
the whole time, man.Copy !req
1644. - Oh, so sorry.Copy !req
1645. - Yeah!
- Oh.Copy !req
1646. - Yes, queen!Copy !req
1647. Yeah!Copy !req
1648. Attention, everyone.Copy !req
1649. It seems like
these Huntington playersCopy !req
1650. - are not only shitty...
- Yes, queen!Copy !req
1651. football players,Copy !req
1652. but they're also dead cheating
bitch asses.Copy !req
1653. Meanin' the Vikings once again
win the game!Copy !req
1654. - Whoo!
- Decompose, you fuckers!Copy !req
1655. Damn it.Copy !req
1656. That was my thing!Copy !req
1657. By the way, what the fuck
are you wearing?Copy !req
1658. You got suspenders
over your nipples
like a goddamn freak.Copy !req
1659. Not gonna come
to any meetings.Copy !req
1660. It's gonna be fine.Copy !req
1661. He's so preoccupied
with his divor...Copy !req
1662. - Yeah.Copy !req
1663. I drank before I came
to class.Copy !req
1664. - What?
- Sorry.Copy !req
1665. You got this, Jeff!
You got it!Copy !req
1666. Oh, shit.Copy !req
1667. You scarin' the shit
out of me, boy.
You all right?Copy !req
1668. - Good shit.
- I got this.Copy !req
1669. Y'all were two of my top
students, I think.Copy !req
1670. Oh, no, that was
two other students.Copy !req
1671. But at the end of the day,
it don't matter.Copy !req
1672. This shit is, like, beyond me.Copy !req
1673. Not Beyond Meat,
like the fake meat,Copy !req
1674. but beyond me, like...Copy !req
1675. Who does that?
Where do they do that at?Copy !req
1676. Y'all out here forty-two
fakin' for the bacon.Copy !req
1677. You understand
what I'm sayin'?Copy !req
1678. - God, this is the most
depressing shit ever.Copy !req
1679. Oh, wait, fuck me.Copy !req
1680. Idiot. Idiot!Copy !req
1681. - She's still laughing
because of the last laugh.Copy !req
1682. No! Fuck!Copy !req
1683. Cut, cut.Copy !req
1684. Hey, guys.Copy !req
1685. Hey, guys. Hi.Copy !req
1686. - Hey, guys. Sorry.Copy !req
1687. You look like you yodel.Copy !req
1688. You look super religious.Copy !req
1689. Get fucked, Janice.Copy !req
1690. Get railed, Janice.Copy !req
1691. Eat a dick, Janice.Copy !req
1692. God, what is happening
to this country?Copy !req
1693. - Why?
- Why?Copy !req
1694. This is not the Viking way!Copy !req
1695. How old are you?
I put whiskey in that.Copy !req
1696. Actually dealin'
with the "D" word.Copy !req
1697. - Death.
- No.Copy !req
1698. - Dinosaurs.
- No.Copy !req
1699. - Depression?
- If you don't...Copy !req
1700. Deez nuts!Copy !req