1. Jangshemash.Copy !req
2. My name a Borat.Copy !req
3. My life is nice. Not.Copy !req
4. But how I end up like this?Copy !req
5. 14 year ago,Copy !req
6. I release a moviefilm which was
great success in US&A.Copy !req
7. But Kazakhstan become a
laughingstocks around the world.Copy !req
8. Our exports of potassium
and pubis plummet.Copy !req
9. Many brokers leapt
from our tallest skyscrapers.Copy !req
10. Since Running of Jew
had been canceled,Copy !req
11. all Kazakhstan had left was
Holocaust Remembrance Day,Copy !req
12. where we commemorate
our heroic soldiersCopy !req
13. - who ran the camps.Copy !req
14. I was blamed
for Kazakhstan's failureCopy !req
15. and banned from
ever make reportings again.Copy !req
16. I was publicly humiliate.Copy !req
17. - Ow! Wawaweewa!Copy !req
18. I was sentence for life
to hard labor in gulag.Copy !req
19. But 14 year later,
men from governmentCopy !req
20. bring me to presidential palace.Copy !req
21. Premier Nazarbayev!Copy !req
22. Listen carefully, asshole.Copy !req
23. I have a mission for you.Copy !req
24. He explain that,
while I was in gulag,Copy !req
25. US&A was ruin by an evil manCopy !req
26. who stood against
all American values.Copy !req
27. His name?Copy !req
28. Barack Obama.Copy !req
29. This led to other Africans
becoming political leaders.Copy !req
30. But then a miracle occurred.Copy !req
31. A magnificent new premier name
McDonald Trump rose to powerCopy !req
32. and made America great again.Copy !req
33. He also became buddiesCopy !req
34. with tough-guy leaders
across the world:Copy !req
35. Putin,Copy !req
36. Kim Jong-un,Copy !req
37. BolsonaroCopy !req
38. and Kenneth West.Copy !req
39. Everyone apart from me.Copy !req
40. You, Sagdiyev...Copy !req
41. will return to US&A
to deliver a giftCopy !req
42. so that Kazakhstan will earn
the respect of Trump.Copy !req
43. I was instruct
not to give the gift to Trump,Copy !req
44. since, on previous mission,Copy !req
45. I had accidentally made shit
in front his house.Copy !req
46. So, it must go to
someone in his inner circle.Copy !req
47. America's most famous
ladies man -Copy !req
48. - Michael Pence.
The vice premierCopy !req
49. was known to be
such a pussy houndCopy !req
50. that he could not be left alone
in a room with a womans.Copy !req
51. What is the gift?Copy !req
52. Johnny the Monkey.Copy !req
53. Johnny the Monkey,Copy !req
54. Kazakhstan's Minister of CultureCopy !req
55. and number one porno star.Copy !req
56. A cameraman will follow you to
document your mission.Copy !req
57. I will need my producer,
Azamat Bagatov.Copy !req
58. Impossible.Copy !req
59. Why?Copy !req
60. You are sitting on him.Copy !req
61. Also, get me a chocolate cake.Copy !req
62. Now, get him ready!Copy !req
63. These gypsy tears will
keep you safe.Copy !req
64. Before I make
commencings my mission,Copy !req
65. I returned to my village
in order to give kissCopy !req
66. to my sons and make sexy time
with my wife.Copy !req
67. I'm back, everybody! I'm back!Copy !req
68. But I discovered that my
neighbor, Nursultan Tulyakbay,Copy !req
69. had taken everything from me:Copy !req
70. my Mikhael the Mouse pajamas
and my sons,Copy !req
71. Bilak, Biram and Hueylewis.Copy !req
72. That not my name anymore.Copy !req
73. I'm so ashamed of you,Copy !req
74. I change it to...Copy !req
75. JeffreyCopy !req
76. Epstein.Copy !req
77. All I had left
was my livestocks:Copy !req
78. two pigs, one cowCopy !req
79. and a daughter.Copy !req
80. Once upon a time,Copy !req
81. there was a lowly peasant girl
called MelaniaCopy !req
82. from shithole country SloveniaCopy !req
83. who dreamed of marrying
a rich old man.Copy !req
84. I have a non-male son?Copy !req
85. Daddy?Copy !req
86. Why are you living like this?Copy !req
87. Because I have no husband to
put me in a beautiful wife cage.Copy !req
88. Unlike that bitch,
Lilyat Sakanov!Copy !req
89. Mm.Copy !req
90. How old are you?Copy !req
91. Fifteen.Copy !req
92. Fifteen?Copy !req
93. You're the oldest unmarried
woman in all Kazakhstan!Copy !req
94. I'm so happy that you're back.Copy !req
95. I'm not. I'm off to US&A.Copy !req
96. Please take me with you!Copy !req
97. Not possible.Copy !req
98. Please Daddy.Copy !req
99. Here...Copy !req
100. - have a piece of onion instead.
Sagdiyev.Copy !req
101. Johnny's in the crate.Copy !req
102. You must leave now.Copy !req
103. Uh... nice to meet you.Copy !req
104. I go to America!Copy !req
105. Go to hell, Sagdiyev!Copy !req
106. Don't bother coming back
this time!Copy !req
107. Get lost!
May all your shits have antlers!Copy !req
108. It was time for me
to return to YankeelandCopy !req
109. - to save my peoples.Copy !req
110. While Johnny traveled
by luxury cruise ship,Copy !req
111. I was placed on cargo boat
and arrived 22 days later.Copy !req
112. That afternoon, I procure
a sleeping apartment for JohnnyCopy !req
113. and transform it
into accommodationCopy !req
114. - suitable for an ape of
his stature. -Welcome to US&A!Copy !req
115. While waiting for Johnny,Copy !req
116. I decide to make inspection
of nearest village.Copy !req
117. - MAN My name
a Borat. -What do you say?Copy !req
118. - Borat.
- No, it's not me.Copy !req
119. - High five.
- No, that's...Copy !req
120. I must go.Copy !req
121. There was problem.Copy !req
122. People make recognize my face.Copy !req
123. Not me.Copy !req
124. I'll pay you a dollar
for an autograph.Copy !req
125. - You make mistake.
- Can I get an autograph?Copy !req
126. It not me.
Yeah, it somebody else.Copy !req
127. Or maybe it was gray suit.Copy !req
128. Borat!Copy !req
129. - I'm not Borat.
- Borat! -Yeah, you are.Copy !req
130. - Yeah, you are. Can't deny it.
- I'm not Borat.Copy !req
131. How would I doCopy !req
132. my secretive mission
if I was famous?Copy !req
133. I would need disguises.Copy !req
134. - Ah.
- What is this?Copy !req
135. - That almost looks like you.
- What is that?Copy !req
136. "Stupid foreigner reporter"?Copy !req
137. Yeah. Kind of looks like you.Copy !req
138. You got the dark hair
and the mustache.Copy !req
139. No, but this is not like me.Copy !req
140. I mean, it does look like you.Copy !req
141. No?Copy !req
142. Take care.Copy !req
143. You're welcome. Have a good day.Copy !req
144. Much had changed
since I was last in US&A.Copy !req
145. America had become
calculator crazy.Copy !req
146. I needed to make purchasings
of an electrical abacus.Copy !req
147. I think we could get rid
of this one for $30.Copy !req
148. - Ah. -Mm-hmm.Copy !req
149. - What this?
- FaceTime.Copy !req
150. Yes?Copy !req
151. - And now...
- Hello?Copy !req
152. - Hello.
- Who this?Copy !req
153. This is Brian.Copy !req
154. Hello. I talk to him.
Please be quiet.Copy !req
155. Hello? Ghost with blue shirt,
answer me.Copy !req
156. You are demon?Copy !req
157. This guy that you're seeing
in the phone...Copy !req
158. - Please be quiet.
- ... is me.Copy !req
159. - What? -If I say something,
he says something.Copy !req
160. Brian Brother, please,
you must be quiet.Copy !req
161. Speakings not polite.Copy !req
162. So I'm gonna show you
how you can ask Google questionsCopy !req
163. and it'll give you answers.Copy !req
164. - I can make it typings?
- Yes.Copy !req
165. - "Restaurants near me."
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
166. Maybe I look for food
that I like to eat.Copy !req
167. And for dessert, um...Copy !req
168. - What this?
- Ah...Copy !req
169. That's not what
you're talking about, I bet.Copy !req
170. This is for dessert?Copy !req
171. No, this is probably
what you're looking for.Copy !req
172. It have a pictures of a woman
with no clothes?Copy !req
173. - Most likely.
- Wawaweewa.Copy !req
174. Can I make borrowings this,
for one moment?Copy !req
175. - Sure.
- I need go, uh, toilet.Copy !req
176. Uh, you stay here.Copy !req
177. I think he's figuring it out.Copy !req
178. Brian help me use calculatorCopy !req
179. to find out that
Johnny the MonkeyCopy !req
180. would be deliver
in three hours' time.Copy !req
181. I was excite.Copy !req
182. - How you doing, my friend?
I'm Victor. -Yeah.Copy !req
183. - Pleased to meet you.
- Nice meet you.Copy !req
184. - You want me to help you
open it? -Uh, yes, please.Copy !req
185. Johnny?Copy !req
186. Your Excellency?Copy !req
187. What are you doing here?Copy !req
188. - I accidentally fell in.
- ... Johnny?Copy !req
189. Johnny?Copy !req
190. Johnny?Copy !req
191. - Johnny?Copy !req
192. You ate him...?Copy !req
193. No.Copy !req
194. He ate himself.Copy !req
195. - You are going home!Copy !req
196. Can you help me
repack her, please?Copy !req
197. - Whoa, whoa, whoa.Copy !req
198. Hammer, now. Now, now. Hammer.Copy !req
199. Tatti!Copy !req
200. - Thank you, my friend.
- Thank you.Copy !req
201. Uh, thank you.Copy !req
202. I needed to give this
wretched news to my premier,Copy !req
203. so I used my telephones
to locate America's fax machine.Copy !req
204. I need to, uh,
make a contact with, uh,Copy !req
205. my premier, Nazarbayev.Copy !req
206. - I must inform him of some news.
- Okay.Copy !req
207. What do you want it to say?Copy !req
208. "Sup." S-U-P.Copy !req
209. - That it?
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
210. Okay.Copy !req
211. He sent you back,
he said "S-U-P"Copy !req
212. with a question mark after it.Copy !req
213. - "Sup?"
- Ah.Copy !req
214. Can you answer him, "Chillin'"?Copy !req
215. C-H-I-L-L-I...Copy !req
216. He sent you a picture this time.Copy !req
217. This is him. It's strange.Copy !req
218. Okay.Copy !req
219. "Sorry. Not for you.Copy !req
220. I was sexting my sister."Copy !req
221. Uh, sorry.Copy !req
222. "How is Johnny?"Copy !req
223. Can you write, uh,Copy !req
224. "He not as alive
as he used to be"?Copy !req
225. That's it?Copy !req
226. What did he write?Copy !req
227. He sent you
a bunch of angry faces.Copy !req
228. "If you do not deliver bribeCopy !req
229. "to get me into strongman club,Copy !req
230. "you will be execute.Copy !req
231. You will find a new gift
for him or you will die."Copy !req
232. What-what else do, uh,
powerful men here like?Copy !req
233. NBC talk show.Copy !req
234. I'm gonna get
great ratings on your show.Copy !req
235. Trump is surrounded by womenCopy !req
236. as music blares
in the background.Copy !req
237. Trump gestures to one
and appears to say to Epstein,Copy !req
238. "Look at her back there.
She's hot."Copy !req
239. Can you write, uh,
"My daughter is here.Copy !req
240. Shall I give her as gift?"Copy !req
241. - What he say?
- "Perfect.Copy !req
242. She will be sexy gift
for Michael Pence."Copy !req
243. - Wawaweewa. High five.Copy !req
244. Come inside! Come inside!Copy !req
245. - Daddy, why is the sky so low?
- This is a room.Copy !req
246. - I'm sorry I escaped from box —
- Never mind, I forgive you.Copy !req
247. I have decide...Copy !req
248. that you will stay here with me.Copy !req
249. You have been chosen...Copy !req
250. to be given as a giftCopy !req
251. to the Vice President.Copy !req
252. I will be
the next Queen Melania?Copy !req
253. - Mm-hmm. -She's the happiest
wife in the world!Copy !req
254. Uh...Copy !req
255. Now, where do girls sleep?Copy !req
256. All the answers are in here...Copy !req
257. 'Daughter Owner's Manual.'Copy !req
258. Official publication of Ministry
of Agriculture and Wildlife.Copy !req
259. Wait...Copy !req
260. you have a name?
Wawaweewa.Copy !req
261. Tutar.Copy !req
262. - I need one of these...
Ah.Copy !req
263. I know just the place!Copy !req
264. What can I help you with?Copy !req
265. I prepare my daughter
for market.Copy !req
266. And, uh, I am looking for, um,
a suitable cage for her.Copy !req
267. Okay. A cage?Copy !req
268. - This is a pretty nice one here.
- Oh!Copy !req
269. - 900 bucks.
- 900? A lot of money.Copy !req
270. - Yeah.I think this one
too expensive for you.Copy !req
271. No, Daddy. Please, please?Copy !req
272. Please, please, please.
I want it.Copy !req
273. - She want it.Copy !req
274. - Yeah.Copy !req
275. - Teenagers. -Yeah,
you got to make them happy.Copy !req
276. You got to make them happy.
Yeah.Copy !req
277. How many other girls are gonna
live in here with me?Copy !req
278. How many, uh,Copy !req
279. girls you normally put
in a cage this size?Copy !req
280. Uh, one.Copy !req
281. But I hear, uh, McDonald Trump,
he, uh,Copy !req
282. - cage, uh, Mexican children?
- Well...Copy !req
283. - Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
284. - What is this?
- You put gas in it, propane.Copy !req
285. If I had a gypsy in a van
and I opened the gas,Copy !req
286. - will it finish him?
- Yeah, that— Probably.Copy !req
287. - Yes?
- Yeah.Copy !req
288. How many gypsies could I finish
with one canister?Copy !req
289. However many you had in the van.Copy !req
290. Let's say I wanted to, uh, um,
finish lives of 20 gypsy.Copy !req
291. Would this be enough?Copy !req
292. Maybe the bigger one.Copy !req
293. - Ah, the bigger one.
- Yeah.Copy !req
294. All right, you guys,
your total is, uh,Copy !req
295. $1,491.82.Copy !req
296. Uh, too much.
Maybe I take away some of this.Copy !req
297. We take it all.Copy !req
298. One day, she was
invited to a grand ball.Copy !req
299. When Fat King Donald
saw Melania...Copy !req
300. he became more turgid
than he'd ever been before.Copy !req
301. So, he grabbed her vagine.Copy !req
302. Tutar.Copy !req
303. Your palace... awaits.Copy !req
304. Come see.Copy !req
305. Not allowed.Copy !req
306. You like it?Copy !req
307. It's the best present
I've ever had!Copy !req
308. Is it nicer than Melania's cage?Copy !req
309. Not quite,Copy !req
310. but similar to cage of
the wife before her...Copy !req
311. Stormy Daniels.Copy !req
312. - Ah.
- Get some sleep.Copy !req
313. Tomorrow we will
get you ready for Pence.Copy !req
314. Well, good night.Copy !req
315. Daddy, I love you.Copy !req
316. Thank you.Copy !req
317. There is so little wind in here!Copy !req
318. Look at me! I'm flying!Copy !req
319. Get inside.Copy !req
320. Where are we going?Copy !req
321. I'm taking you to meet one
of America's leading feminists.Copy !req
322. Ooh.Copy !req
323. Hi, I'm Macy.Copy !req
324. - It's nice to meet you.
- Nice meet you.Copy !req
325. Come sit with me.Copy !req
326. - You are sugar baby.
- I am.Copy !req
327. What is sugar baby?Copy !req
328. So, pretty much, a sugar baby is
a younger girl like you and I,Copy !req
329. and we're dating someone
who's older.Copy !req
330. - Yes.
- And how old do you like them?Copy !req
331. That's the question.Copy !req
332. - Nearly dead.
- Okay, then, you shouldCopy !req
333. get someone
who just had a heart attack.Copy !req
334. - Yes.
- Okay, high five.Copy !req
335. - High five. -I love that.
That's what you want.Copy !req
336. As a woman, you never want to be
a person who is aggressive.Copy !req
337. - You want to be more submissive.
- Oh.Copy !req
338. We have to be kind of weak.Copy !req
339. But I'm strong.Copy !req
340. I can open a beer
with my small hole.Copy !req
341. I can't— I— Look,Copy !req
342. we got to be appropriate
and ladylike.Copy !req
343. - Okay.Copy !req
344. This is what you're not
supposed to do.Copy !req
345. Okay, you did do it.Copy !req
346. Okay, so we're not gonna do what
you just did ever on a date.Copy !req
347. 'Cause if you do that,
they won't like you.Copy !req
348. You want them to like you.Copy !req
349. And so that way,
you can get money from them.Copy !req
350. What can I do
to make a man like me?Copy !req
351. You need a total makeover. Okay?Copy !req
352. From face to hair
to clothes to personalityCopy !req
353. to gestures
and to what you're doing.Copy !req
354. - Yes.
- Are you ready for a makeover?Copy !req
355. - Yes.
- Okay.Copy !req
356. Can you come with me
to the hairdresser?Copy !req
357. No, what if they recognize me?Copy !req
358. Just disguise yourself
as an American.Copy !req
359. I'm Melinda.Copy !req
360. My name John Chevrolet.Copy !req
361. Nice to meet you.Copy !req
362. I want you to make a hotsie
out of this notsie.Copy !req
363. - We can do it.
- You want to see the hair?Copy !req
364. I would like
to see her hair, yes.Copy !req
365. - Okay.
- No, ma'am. Not that hair.Copy !req
366. I have a, um, idea of a hair.Copy !req
367. Okay.Copy !req
368. This one. Nice one.Copy !req
369. This is actually a gentleman.Copy !req
370. - This is a man?
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
371. Okay, so we're gonna do
a spray tan today.Copy !req
372. How dark is she wanting to go?Copy !req
373. What color is best
for racist family?Copy !req
374. I would say right here.Copy !req
375. I wouldn't go any darker
than a six or a seven.Copy !req
376. Tatti.Copy !req
377. Tatti. Monkey's cock.Copy !req
378. Don't.Copy !req
379. - Delicious. -That is
not to eat. -No, no, no.Copy !req
380. And what, uh, flavor this one?
Can I...?Copy !req
381. It's not a flavor... Awesome.Copy !req
382. - It's not so nice.
- It's not food. I told you that.Copy !req
383. Wawaweewa.Copy !req
384. I need dress
with real sexy peels.Copy !req
385. Okay.Copy !req
386. Where is the "no means yes"
section?Copy !req
387. Yes?Copy !req
388. Okay, we need to try this on.Copy !req
389. - This is not a dress.
- What this?Copy !req
390. Uh, this is a bag...Copy !req
391. - Mm. -... that just goes
over the dress.Copy !req
392. Very nice.Copy !req
393. - Tutar, you like the dress?
- Yes, I love it.Copy !req
394. - The man who own this,
his name Michelle? -No.Copy !req
395. This is my store.Copy !req
396. My name's Michelle,
and I own this store.Copy !req
397. - What?
- Yes.Copy !req
398. Daddy, a woman can
own a business?Copy !req
399. Uh...Copy !req
400. No, when a woman owns
a business her brain breaksCopy !req
401. and her head falls off.Copy !req
402. Just like the previous
owners, look...Copy !req
403. So young...
tragic.Copy !req
404. Could a woman ever
be a journalist?Copy !req
405. No, it's dangerous.Copy !req
406. Look at the manual.Copy !req
407. This happened when a
woman tried to be a journalist.Copy !req
408. What about driving a car?Copy !req
409. Driving a car!Copy !req
410. This is what happened
when a woman drove a car.Copy !req
411. Can a woman ask questions?Copy !req
412. Questions?Copy !req
413. I think it's dangerous.Copy !req
414. Ah.Copy !req
415. Time for bed.Copy !req
416. Tomorrow you'll observe how
American girls behave in public.Copy !req
417. MAN
Howdy, folks. Welcome.Copy !req
418. Look, Daddy!Copy !req
419. The fathers hold
their daughter's hands here!Copy !req
420. He probably forgot
to bring a leash.Copy !req
421. Daddy, hold my handCopy !req
422. or they will know you are fakeCopy !req
423. Could a daddy
ever love a daughterCopy !req
424. as much as he love his sons?Copy !req
425. No, any father who did that
would be sentenced to death.Copy !req
426. Uh-huh.Copy !req
427. - Howdy doody.
- Hey, how are ya?Copy !req
428. I would like purchase a cake.Copy !req
429. - Mm-hmm.
- Prodigious size,Copy !req
430. made of chocolate
for my glorious leader, please.Copy !req
431. Okay.Copy !req
432. Can you put, um...Copy !req
433. - message on it, please?
- By the— Yes, sir.Copy !req
434. What would you like on this?Copy !req
435. Um...Copy !req
436. "Jews...Copy !req
437. will not replace us."Copy !req
438. Okay.Copy !req
439. And maybe smiley face
underneath.Copy !req
440. - Okay.
- To put him in a good mood.Copy !req
441. - Thank you.
- You're welcome.Copy !req
442. - If we could pack that up,
please. Thank you. -Yes.Copy !req
443. Is there anything else
I can help you with?Copy !req
444. - This is enough.
Thank you very much. -You sure?Copy !req
445. - Yes, that's it.
- Okay, thank you.Copy !req
446. I want to have a cake too.Copy !req
447. No. Daughters are not
allowed to have cake.Copy !req
448. Please! Please! Please!Copy !req
449. It is illegal to give you treat.Copy !req
450. Please, give it to me, Daddy!
Give it to me!Copy !req
451. Give it to me! Give it to me!Copy !req
452. - Okay, choose cake, choose cake.
A new one? Okay.Copy !req
453. You want to pick it out?Copy !req
454. - I want this one with
the baby on it. Okay.Copy !req
455. It have a lot of cream.Copy !req
456. This is our little secret.Copy !req
457. No, no, no.Copy !req
458. I do not want
the authorities to see.Copy !req
459. Ooo! I can't wait to eat this!Copy !req
460. Hide back here.Copy !req
461. Ready.Copy !req
462. Okay, slow down!Copy !req
463. But it's so good!Copy !req
464. I know, but go slower, slower!Copy !req
465. Oh, oh, oh, oh!Copy !req
466. Are you ok?Copy !req
467. I swallowed the baby.Copy !req
468. Are you serious?Copy !req
469. I swallowed the baby.Copy !req
470. You're not supposed
to eat the baby!Copy !req
471. Hurry, come with me!Copy !req
472. We must get you to a doctor!Copy !req
473. - I have a baby inside me.
Mm-hmm.Copy !req
474. And I want to take it out of me.Copy !req
475. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
476. Right.Copy !req
477. She want it out now, please.Copy !req
478. - Right, I...
- Can you take it out?Copy !req
479. No, we cannot.Copy !req
480. - That's not what we do here.
- And why not?Copy !req
481. - What you say, "take it out..."
- Yes.Copy !req
482. You end that life.Copy !req
483. That-that life will die.Copy !req
484. Well, it already dead.
It not living.Copy !req
485. No, it is living right now.
It has a heart...Copy !req
486. - No, it this big.
- It has a heartbeat right now.Copy !req
487. I don't think so.Copy !req
488. It is a living,Copy !req
489. breathing life
that God has created.Copy !req
490. I don't think he's breathing.Copy !req
491. We can show you
that it's breathing.Copy !req
492. - It hurt my stomach.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
493. And it will hurt my asshole.Copy !req
494. - Mm-hmm.
If it come out,Copy !req
495. yes, because the-the arm,Copy !req
496. the arm like this.Copy !req
497. - It can tear it.
- Right.Copy !req
498. I feel bad because I was
the one who put the baby in her.Copy !req
499. You don't need to feel bad.Copy !req
500. I was just trying to give
my daughter pleasure,Copy !req
501. and next thing I know,
there is a baby inside her.Copy !req
502. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
503. - You keep calling her
your daughter. -Yes.Copy !req
504. Okay.Copy !req
505. - Is he your father?
- Yes.Copy !req
506. - This is your daughter?
Yes.Copy !req
507. - Yes.
- Okay.Copy !req
508. I wanted to give
my daughter a treat...Copy !req
509. I understand. I...
I don't need to hear any...Copy !req
510. - And she was... -I don't need
to hear any more of that.Copy !req
511. - I understand...
- She just had to...Copy !req
512. that-that she is...Copy !req
513. - But look at that face.
- I understand.Copy !req
514. - How could I not give it to her?
- I understand.Copy !req
515. - Would you have not give it
to her? -I understand.Copy !req
516. Listen, uh, it really...Copy !req
517. That is not important right now.Copy !req
518. We're at this moment.Copy !req
519. It really doesn't matter
how we got to this moment.Copy !req
520. When he treat me, he said, "This
will be our little secret."Copy !req
521. Yes, this is why I do it
here behind a dumpster,Copy !req
522. so no... no one can see.Copy !req
523. Now that you know
that I am her father,Copy !req
524. can we take it out now, please?Copy !req
525. God is the one who creates life.Copy !req
526. And God doesn't make accidents.Copy !req
527. Push!
- Oh, it hurt!Copy !req
528. - Hurt!
Push out the baby!Copy !req
529. Push it out.
Ooh, it hurt!Copy !req
530. Push...Copy !req
531. The baby, it out.Copy !req
532. Okay, flush it down.Copy !req
533. But the Jesus people said
we have to keep it.Copy !req
534. It disgusting. It smell retched.Copy !req
535. Flush the baby away!Copy !req
536. I'm keeping it.Copy !req
537. Okay, okay.Copy !req
538. - Ah, she want to keep the baby.
- Mm.Copy !req
539. You know what it's like.Copy !req
540. Tutar...Copy !req
541. Your makeover is complete...
I think you are ready for Pence.Copy !req
542. - Really?
Mm.Copy !req
543. But to be sure, let's have
a practice run tonight.Copy !req
544. Cinderella...Copy !req
545. it's time...Copy !req
546. to go to a ball.Copy !req
547. Before the ball,Copy !req
548. I would meet with fancy lady
who would help meCopy !req
549. introduce my daughter
to high societies.Copy !req
550. Hi. How are you today?Copy !req
551. Good. Uh, Cliff. Cliff Safari.Copy !req
552. And my name is Dr. Jeanie.Copy !req
553. So nice to meet you today.Copy !req
554. My daughter, Miss Ellie,
I need to get herCopy !req
555. ready for ball.Copy !req
556. So the thing about it isCopy !req
557. we want to get
your daughter all preparedCopy !req
558. by showing her
the right kinds of things to do.Copy !req
559. Hell yeah!Copy !req
560. Now let us present
the debutantes.Copy !req
561. Miss Mamie Henderson,
daughter of Mr. Bill HendersonCopy !req
562. and Laura Schofield.Copy !req
563. She is presented by her father.Copy !req
564. Daddy, you need to hold my arm,Copy !req
565. so they think we're American.Copy !req
566. Okay... just this once.Copy !req
567. Sandra Jessica Parker DrummondCopy !req
568. and her father,
Professor Phillip Drummond III.Copy !req
569. Miss Drummond is attending
Grand Canyon UniversityCopy !req
570. where she is double majoring
in cage maintenanceCopy !req
571. and electronics
with a focus on VCR repair.Copy !req
572. When I at the ball,
is it sufficientCopy !req
573. to make little braggings
about little missy?Copy !req
574. - Maybe, yes.Copy !req
575. And you know what?Copy !req
576. You have to do it
very, let's say...Copy !req
577. graciously.Copy !req
578. - That's your daughter?
- Yeah.Copy !req
579. - That's what we love
in the South. -Yeah.Copy !req
580. - Pretty girls.
- Yeah.Copy !req
581. Okay. It's-it's... They're fun.Copy !req
582. How much you think
my daughter is worth?Copy !req
583. Five hundred dollars.Copy !req
584. Ooh, thank you.Copy !req
585. - You my best friend, buddy.Copy !req
586. - It's all a...
- That's fucking gross.Copy !req
587. My daughter have
her moon blood arrive.Copy !req
588. Can she still go to a ball?Copy !req
589. - Mm-hmm.
- Ah, good, so she...Copy !req
590. We're able to do
a lot of things even thoughCopy !req
591. we have womanly things
that we go through every...Copy !req
592. moon time you're talking about.Copy !req
593. We'd now like to invite
Sandra Jessica Parker DrummondCopy !req
594. and her father,
Professor Phillip Drummond III,Copy !req
595. for our traditional
father/daughter dance.Copy !req
596. - It's my moon blood.Copy !req
597. It started?Copy !req
598. Yes.Copy !req
599. Fantastic!Copy !req
600. Now we can wow them...Copy !req
601. with our traditional
fertility dance!Copy !req
602. Um, can you play...Copy !req
603. I will never get to live in a
golden cage like Melania!Copy !req
604. Why do American men hate me?Copy !req
605. Come in.Copy !req
606. Really?Copy !req
607. Do you mean it, Daddy?Copy !req
608. - Thank you so much, Daddy.
- Okay.Copy !req
609. Tutar!Copy !req
610. I've got great news!Copy !req
611. Pence is speaking nearby.Copy !req
612. We'll gift you today.Copy !req
613. - But I am not ready yet.
- Of course you're ready!Copy !req
614. You are ready
for the golden cage!Copy !req
615. Okay, Daddy!Copy !req
616. Finally the time had come
to deliver my daughterCopy !req
617. to the vice pussy-grabber.Copy !req
618. But how would I slip inCopy !req
619. to this conference
of Republicans unnoticed?Copy !req
620. Suddenly, I had an idea.Copy !req
621. I'm Stephen Miller.
Sorry I'm late.Copy !req
622. I needed to get Tutar to Pence,Copy !req
623. the only man
that Trump would trust.Copy !req
624. But who does Pence trust?Copy !req
625. I knew the disguise
I had to use.Copy !req
626. Tutar, it's me.Copy !req
627. - Huh? Oh.
- Hop on! We are running late.Copy !req
628. I know you're ready
to demonstrate how muchCopy !req
629. you appreciate everything
he does for our country.Copy !req
630. And it's my honor
to introduce to youCopy !req
631. the vice president
of the United States,Copy !req
632. - Michael R. Pence.Copy !req
633. As of today,Copy !req
634. we have 15 cases of coronavirusCopy !req
635. that have been detected
in the United StatesCopy !req
636. with only one new case detected
in the last two weeks.Copy !req
637. And while the risk
to the American publicCopy !req
638. remains low, as the president
said yesterday,Copy !req
639. "We're ready.
We're ready for anything."Copy !req
640. - It's actually on the verge...
Michael Pen-is!Copy !req
641. Michael Pen-is!
I brought a girl for you!Copy !req
642. - Don't worry,
I won't get jealous!Copy !req
643. She not Ivanka.Copy !req
644. Get out!Copy !req
645. Pussy Hound Pen-is!Copy !req
646. You just hit me, man.
You just hit me.Copy !req
647. Don't punch me.Copy !req
648. Mike, help me!Copy !req
649. Mike, you're fired!Copy !req
650. Four more years!Copy !req
651. Four more years!
Four more years!Copy !req
652. Four more years!Copy !req
653. Four more years!Copy !req
654. - A hundred more years!
Four more years!Copy !req
655. If you release me,
I'll give you my Klan robes.Copy !req
656. - Don't stop. Keep moving.
- How about my wig?Copy !req
657. Don't stop. Keep moving.Copy !req
658. The United States Senate
cleared our president on all...Copy !req
659. Please make faxy-meal of this.Copy !req
660. "Premier Nazarbayev,
I have unfortunate news.Copy !req
661. "Michael Pence did not
accept her as a gift.Copy !req
662. Yours, Borat."Copy !req
663. - And then put sad face.
- "Sad face."Copy !req
664. Okay.Copy !req
665. "Return immediately
to die in excruciating pain.Copy !req
666. "You will be tied to two cows
who will face UzbeksCopy !req
667. "with turnips
inserted in their assholes.Copy !req
668. "Uzbeks will be enticed away
with money and cows will followCopy !req
669. to eat turnips,
ripping you apart."Copy !req
670. What's the matter, Daddy?Copy !req
671. Nothing.Copy !req
672. Will they hurt you?Copy !req
673. Of course not.Copy !req
674. Could I be a gift
to this friend of Trump instead?Copy !req
675. No, he's in jail.Copy !req
676. What about this one?Copy !req
677. In jail too.Copy !req
678. Him?Copy !req
679. Arrested.Copy !req
680. Him?Copy !req
681. House arrest.Copy !req
682. What about Rudolph Giuliani?Copy !req
683. What he say?Copy !req
684. "If you can deliver her to Rudy,Copy !req
685. you will live."Copy !req
686. - You're not gonna be killed.
- I love you.Copy !req
687. Donald Trump is a man with
a big heart who loves people—Copy !req
688. all people,Copy !req
689. from the top to the bottom,
from the middle to the side!Copy !req
690. Rudolph was McDonald's
best buddy in whole world,Copy !req
691. and also very dignified
statesman of the highest order.Copy !req
692. You don't know what
you're talking about, idiot.Copy !req
693. - Shut up, moron. Shut up.
- Rudy. Rudy. Okay.Copy !req
694. This would not be easy.Copy !req
695. Luckily, I discover
his preference for womensCopy !req
696. with ample
cheese-producing capacity.Copy !req
697. I take my daughter
to man who can help.Copy !req
698. After me.Copy !req
699. I want very muchCopy !req
700. her to be attract to...
top-level guy.Copy !req
701. Well, what I would suggest is
that we do some simple things.Copy !req
702. Like a little r-refinement
of the nose.Copy !req
703. What's wrong with my nose?Copy !req
704. Do I look like a Jew?Copy !req
705. No, ma'am. Not at all.Copy !req
706. - Oh, that...
- Because a Jew...Copy !req
707. - Yeah, she was, uh, very sad.
- A Jew...Copy !req
708. A Jew would be like this.Copy !req
709. Jew nose more out,Copy !req
710. out a bit more, down here,Copy !req
711. then down a bit here,Copy !req
712. bump, bump, in.Copy !req
713. It can be that bad, yes.Copy !req
714. - Mm.
- Then, if you like,Copy !req
715. what I would suggestCopy !req
716. is that maybe we put
some breast implants.Copy !req
717. And what it mean, "breast"?Copy !req
718. - The-the breast. Titty.
- Mm.Copy !req
719. Titty?Copy !req
720. - Titty.
- Titty?Copy !req
721. Titty.Copy !req
722. - Titty?
- Titty.Copy !req
723. - Titty.
- Or breast.Copy !req
724. I want a man who wants
to make a sex attack on me.Copy !req
725. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
726. I think that would be most men.Copy !req
727. Would you make a sex attack
with me?Copy !req
728. Uh...Copy !req
729. if your father was not here.Copy !req
730. - Ooh.
- Ah!Copy !req
731. Hello.
- Hello.Copy !req
732. So, altogether,
the total is $21,751.Copy !req
733. How much?Copy !req
734. $21,751.Copy !req
735. - Tenge or dollar?
- Dollars.Copy !req
736. Okay.Copy !req
737. - With the, uh, saline implant...
- Yes?Copy !req
738. Um, could you take off
some money if instead, uh,Copy !req
739. you use potatoes?Copy !req
740. - Uh, we cannot use potatoes.
- Why not?Copy !req
741. Because potatoes aren't sterile.Copy !req
742. This a very good potato.Copy !req
743. But you cannot take a potatoCopy !req
744. - and put it in the body.
- Expensive one.Copy !req
745. What if we allow, uh, perverts
in to watch the surgery?Copy !req
746. Can we have reduction?Copy !req
747. You can keep the money
that they pay you.Copy !req
748. Uh, absolutely not.Copy !req
749. The more people you bring in,
the more germs come in.Copy !req
750. You cannot do that.Copy !req
751. The perverts have to be
medical personnel.Copy !req
752. They have to be
either a doctor or a nurse.Copy !req
753. I want to make sure that, uh,Copy !req
754. the man I give her to
is very happyCopy !req
755. - and will not return her.
- Okay.Copy !req
756. So the quality
must be tip-top. Will it be?Copy !req
757. It will be tip-top.Copy !req
758. It'll be more than tip-top.Copy !req
759. - Are you able to pay
this amount? Yes? -Yes, I have.Copy !req
760. Okay. Thank you.Copy !req
761. One, two,Copy !req
762. three, four, five, six, seven...Copy !req
763. Ooh.Copy !req
764. That's a lot of money,
but worth it.Copy !req
765. So after you give me
as a gift...Copy !req
766. you will leave me?Copy !req
767. Of course.Copy !req
768. I will go home and you
will have new owner.Copy !req
769. So I will never see you again?Copy !req
770. You expected me to come
live with you both?Copy !req
771. No... of course not.Copy !req
772. - Hmm.Copy !req
773. The manual would forbid it.Copy !req
774. You have, uh, sufficient?Copy !req
775. Uh, no, I'm short $72.Copy !req
776. And if we do not get to this,Copy !req
777. - you cannot make
the surgery anyway? -Right.Copy !req
778. And the surgery
will start at 6:00 p.m.Copy !req
779. I only have 24 hours
to get you $72?Copy !req
780. Well, yes.Copy !req
781. We better get to work.Copy !req
782. To pay for new chests,
I would need employment.Copy !req
783. So, next day,Copy !req
784. - I leave my daughter with
babysitter. -Copy !req
785. Hello.Copy !req
786. Uh, what your name?Copy !req
787. - Jeanise.
- Jeanise. Nice meet you.Copy !req
788. Nice meeting you.Copy !req
789. So what is that, like, a treat?Copy !req
790. Treat, uh, yeah.Copy !req
791. Uh, when she perform
a command correctly,Copy !req
792. click, you give her a treat.Copy !req
793. Um... Oh. Okay.Copy !req
794. This is her ball.Copy !req
795. Um, it make her feel safe.Copy !req
796. Uh, for water, uh,
please use this.Copy !req
797. Uh, we drink water
out of a glass.Copy !req
798. Uh, the strings in her brainCopy !req
799. might break
if you try to teach her,Copy !req
800. so be careful, please.Copy !req
801. You said it's her strings
in her brain might break?Copy !req
802. They can be strain
and sometimes pop.Copy !req
803. One of them already...Copy !req
804. she saw something and, uh,
it was complicate for her,Copy !req
805. and I hear the noise. "Ding."Copy !req
806. Oh, my God. Really.Copy !req
807. See you later.Copy !req
808. Don't leave me here.Copy !req
809. See you later
at the titty doctor.Copy !req
810. All right.Copy !req
811. The mutilations
would commence in five hours.Copy !req
812. Luckily, I get hired for job.Copy !req
813. What would you like?
I can, um...Copy !req
814. take it all off?Copy !req
815. Keep it where it's, you know...Copy !req
816. Above the ears is fine.Copy !req
817. - Want me shave your arms?
- No.Copy !req
818. - No? -No. You're not gonna
shave my hair off, are you?Copy !req
819. - No, no, no.
- Okay.Copy !req
820. Uh, I am good, though.
I have done, um...Copy !req
821. But you do
mostly animals, though, right?Copy !req
822. Uh, no.Copy !req
823. Uh, this, uh, Billy Sexcrime
before they remove his chram.Copy !req
824. I remove his pubis.
I was given honor.Copy !req
825. Oh, that's great.Copy !req
826. To your satisfaction, sir?Copy !req
827. That's fine.Copy !req
828. That's fine.Copy !req
829. That's fine.Copy !req
830. What's in the book?Copy !req
831. This is our book.Copy !req
832. Can I read you a story?Copy !req
833. - You can't read.
- I can read.Copy !req
834. - Are you a man?
- No, I'm not a man.Copy !req
835. Show me your putka.Copy !req
836. I'm not showing you anything.
But I'm a woman.Copy !req
837. This... is my favorite.Copy !req
838. "The true story of Nada..."Copy !req
839. - Nadia Akatov.
- Okay.Copy !req
840. "... who once caught
a terrible diseaseCopy !req
841. "called curiosity.Copy !req
842. "It cause her one night toCopy !req
843. touch her... vagine?"Copy !req
844. Oh, oh, oh, oh.Copy !req
845. "Her vagine became very angry...Copy !req
846. and bit her hand."Copy !req
847. - You okay?
- Yes.Copy !req
848. - It's just a story?
- Yes.Copy !req
849. - You want me to...
- But it's a true story.Copy !req
850. - It's a true story?
- Yes.Copy !req
851. "Then suck all of her insides...Copy !req
852. where she remains
to this day."Copy !req
853. Yes.Copy !req
854. This is not a true story.Copy !req
855. - Okay?
- It is a true story.Copy !req
856. No, no, it's not a true story.Copy !req
857. Your vagine cannot bite.Copy !req
858. It cannot suck your arms
to a ball.Copy !req
859. It can't do that.Copy !req
860. But my tatti told me that.Copy !req
861. - Okay.
- He tell me the truth.Copy !req
862. I mean, I understand
what you're saying,Copy !req
863. - that your daddy told you that.
- Yes.Copy !req
864. But that's not the real world.Copy !req
865. - Are you touch your vagine?
- Who, me?Copy !req
866. - Yes.
- Have I ever touched it?Copy !req
867. - Yes.
- Yes.Copy !req
868. - No.
- Yes.Copy !req
869. - You can't touch your...
- And I— Yes, and I'm here.Copy !req
870. Didn't n-nothing ate me up.Copy !req
871. See, I'm here.Copy !req
872. You ready?Copy !req
873. What are you doing?Copy !req
874. We're driving.Copy !req
875. Women can drive.Copy !req
876. - Don't cry.Copy !req
877. Don't cry. Don't cry.Copy !req
878. - It's okay.
- You can't drive!Copy !req
879. You can't drive!Copy !req
880. - I can drive. I can.
- You can't drive!Copy !req
881. - It's impossible woman to drive!
- No, no.Copy !req
882. - This is...
- No, no, no!Copy !req
883. - You are a man dressed
like a woman. -No. No.Copy !req
884. Help me!Copy !req
885. It's a woman driving the car!Copy !req
886. May I?Copy !req
887. Thank you.Copy !req
888. Great success! I had the money.Copy !req
889. It was time for the surgeon
to insert Tutar's potatoes.Copy !req
890. Did you have a good time?Copy !req
891. - Yes.
- I'm glad.Copy !req
892. What you finna do?Copy !req
893. I will get the surgery
so my daddyCopy !req
894. can give me as a present
for this American man.Copy !req
895. What kind of surgery?Copy !req
896. I will have the biggest titties
in the whole world.Copy !req
897. Okay, so you're getting
plastic surgery at 15.Copy !req
898. Yes.Copy !req
899. - When you getting that done?
- Now.Copy !req
900. - Now?
- Yes.Copy !req
901. Well, do you want that?Copy !req
902. Seriously.Copy !req
903. No, you don't,
'cause you would've said yes.Copy !req
904. I excite.Copy !req
905. You excite, but that's not
what you want.Copy !req
906. Okay, I don't think
you need to do that.Copy !req
907. 'Cause you're pretty
and you're young.Copy !req
908. And any man should
like you as you are.Copy !req
909. You shouldn't want to be
anybody else but yourself.Copy !req
910. But if I have enormous titties,Copy !req
911. I don't have to learn
how to swim.Copy !req
912. Your-your titties will not
keep you from drowning.Copy !req
913. You will still have to
learn how to swim.Copy !req
914. They will protect me.Copy !req
915. How will they protect you?
They titties.Copy !req
916. Titties are not gonna
keep you out the water.Copy !req
917. You are pretty.
You're a pretty—Copy !req
918. Girl, look at yourself.Copy !req
919. Look. Look.Copy !req
920. You see yourself?Copy !req
921. Huh?Copy !req
922. Yes, you are beautiful.Copy !req
923. So I don't see anything
on your body or on your faceCopy !req
924. that need to change.Copy !req
925. I want you to be happy.Copy !req
926. But I wish you would
just think aboutCopy !req
927. some of the stuff I said.Copy !req
928. Think about going to school.Copy !req
929. Use your brain, 'cause
your daddy is a liar, okay?Copy !req
930. My daddy's the smartest person
in the whole flat world.Copy !req
931. Mm, I can't, I can't say
nothing about that,Copy !req
932. but you got a big brain
up there, so use it.Copy !req
933. Just think.Copy !req
934. 'Cause I don't think
you need to change.Copy !req
935. I will think about it.Copy !req
936. Hey, that's all I want.
That's all I want.Copy !req
937. I want you to think about it.Copy !req
938. That's all I want for you,
just to think about it.Copy !req
939. Another woman.Copy !req
940. Adam Schiff.
Oh, my God. He's so...Copy !req
941. What a loser.Copy !req
942. So what's your name?Copy !req
943. I'm Tutar.Copy !req
944. - Really?
- Nice to meet you, Tutar.Copy !req
945. Nice meet you.Copy !req
946. Do you drive a car?Copy !req
947. - Yes.
- Oh, absolutely.Copy !req
948. - Sure.
- More than one.Copy !req
949. - More than one.
- Well, not at the same time.Copy !req
950. - What?
- We drive a car. We own cars.Copy !req
951. So the mans sometimes tell lies?Copy !req
952. Yes. A-A lot.Copy !req
953. Hmm.Copy !req
954. We-We've seen a dramatic dropCopy !req
955. in having children
produced within wedlock.Copy !req
956. It's a huge problem
in our society.Copy !req
957. And I think part of that is
the decline of ChristianityCopy !req
958. in-in the United States.Copy !req
959. - Can I say something?
- Uh...Copy !req
960. - Yes.
- I want— Yes.Copy !req
961. - I want you to speak now.Copy !req
962. I'd love for you to speak now.Copy !req
963. - This important.
- Yes.Copy !req
964. Yeah, great.
- Yes.Copy !req
965. Something really strange,
something wonderfulCopy !req
966. just happened to me.Copy !req
967. - And...Copy !req
968. I go to the toilet,
and I put my index finger...Copy !req
969. and my-my middle finger
on my cunt.Copy !req
970. And I found out
that I wasn't sucked inCopy !req
971. and I wasn't eaten.Copy !req
972. Womans, this place is amazing.Copy !req
973. - No teeth at all.
It has no what?Copy !req
974. No teeth.Copy !req
975. - Oh.
- No teeth.Copy !req
976. It's so nice, so warm.Copy !req
977. I will show you.Copy !req
978. You move this way,
circle four time.Copy !req
979. Then you move up and down,
and if it's not working,Copy !req
980. you can use
this part of your hand.Copy !req
981. And then you will feel
something like an explosion,Copy !req
982. and then you will finish.Copy !req
983. Come on.Copy !req
984. Take your panties off,
everyone, please.Copy !req
985. Do you touch your vagine?Copy !req
986. Uh, it's something
we don't talk about in p-public.Copy !req
987. Because of
the Nadia Akatov story?Copy !req
988. No, no, no, no.Copy !req
989. If that is a lie, what other
lies my daddy tell me?Copy !req
990. So come with me.Copy !req
991. Come with me.
Let's run away from our daddies.Copy !req
992. Let's go and put
our hands togetherCopy !req
993. and touch our vagines.Copy !req
994. And we're so glad you're here.
Thank you.Copy !req
995. Someone call her an Uber.Copy !req
996. Tutar!Copy !req
997. Tutar. Tutar.Copy !req
998. You went to the wrong address!Copy !req
999. It's over there.Copy !req
1000. - I did not.
- Come on.Copy !req
1001. It's titty time.Copy !req
1002. - No, I'm not doing it.
- Why not?Copy !req
1003. Because I'm beautiful as I am,Copy !req
1004. and I don't need to be given
as a gift to a manCopy !req
1005. to be worth something.Copy !req
1006. Yes, you do.
It says so in the book.Copy !req
1007. The Nadia Akatov story is a lie.Copy !req
1008. - Not a lie. It true.
- It is a lie.Copy !req
1009. - I did it.
- What?Copy !req
1010. How did you escape?
Out of your asshole?Copy !req
1011. No. And the rest of the book
is also a lie.Copy !req
1012. Look there.
It's a woman driving a car.Copy !req
1013. That is not a woman.
That is Dog the Bounty Hunter.Copy !req
1014. This manual is full of lies.Copy !req
1015. I found a new book
which only tells the truth.Copy !req
1016. It's called Facebook.Copy !req
1017. I learn so many facts there.Copy !req
1018. Like our nation's
proudest moment,Copy !req
1019. the Holocaust, never happened.Copy !req
1020. - How dare you say that?
- Look.Copy !req
1021. No.Copy !req
1022. See?Copy !req
1023. - I'm leaving.
- No, you don't.Copy !req
1024. Wh-Who will lock
your cage at night?Copy !req
1025. I can do anything a man can do.Copy !req
1026. - No, you cannot.
- I can even become a journalist,Copy !req
1027. and probably
a better one than you,Copy !req
1028. Borat Margaret Sagdiyev!Copy !req
1029. Who told you
my middle name was Margaret?Copy !req
1030. Everyone you know!Copy !req
1031. You will never understand
anything!Copy !req
1032. I understand everything!Copy !req
1033. You want this book?Copy !req
1034. - Hey!
- Take it. I hate it.Copy !req
1035. And I hate you.Copy !req
1036. And I will never see you again.Copy !req
1037. Oh, and by the way,
I ate the monkey.Copy !req
1038. He didn't eat himself.Copy !req
1039. You murderer!Copy !req
1040. He was a genius!Copy !req
1041. Go.Copy !req
1042. Come out now.
One, two— No, you don't.Copy !req
1043. No!Copy !req
1044. Tutar!Copy !req
1045. My mission had fail, and I had
learned that the HolocaustCopy !req
1046. was nothing but a fairy tale.Copy !req
1047. Rather than return
to Kazakhstan to be execute,Copy !req
1048. I decide to take my own life.Copy !req
1049. Since I did not have money
to buy a gun,Copy !req
1050. I went to the nearest synagogueCopy !req
1051. to wait for
the next mass shooting,Copy !req
1052. disguised as a typical Jew.Copy !req
1053. - Hello.
Uh, Jang-shalom.Copy !req
1054. Are you Jew?Copy !req
1055. Yeah, I'm Jewish, yeah.Copy !req
1056. Very nice weather, uh,
we have been controlling.Copy !req
1057. You are Jewish?Copy !req
1058. Um... y-yes.Copy !req
1059. No, you are not Jewish.Copy !req
1060. Listen, don't-don't be
afraid of me.Copy !req
1061. But please don't eat me alive.Copy !req
1062. Uh, do I look like I eat people?Copy !req
1063. - Uh...
- I'm a old, good woman.Copy !req
1064. Yes.Copy !req
1065. - Look at me. I'm Jewish.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1066. Do I have a long nose?Copy !req
1067. - Look at me.
- No.Copy !req
1068. You can touch my nose.Copy !req
1069. - What?
- Look at me.Copy !req
1070. You see? Is it long?Copy !req
1071. - No, it's a small one.
- Exactly like yours.Copy !req
1072. Look at Doris.Copy !req
1073. Does she have a long nose?Copy !req
1074. A little bit bigger
than yours.Copy !req
1075. So we are normal,
exactly like you.Copy !req
1076. Okay, then, use your venom
on me and finish me.Copy !req
1077. I have— I am very depress.Copy !req
1078. Can I give you a hug?Copy !req
1079. - Don't-don't.
- Don't kill me.Copy !req
1080. I will not kill you.Copy !req
1081. Let me give you a kiss.Copy !req
1082. You see? I give you a kiss,
and you are still alive.Copy !req
1083. For now I am, but maybe
the venom take longer.Copy !req
1084. Oh, come on. You will be okay.Copy !req
1085. I'm hungry.Copy !req
1086. - You are hungry?
- Yes.Copy !req
1087. - Good, huh?
- Very good.Copy !req
1088. - Very good, huh?
- Mmm.Copy !req
1089. I want to hear your story,
my dear.Copy !req
1090. This is the worst storyCopy !req
1091. that ever happened
to any human being...Copy !req
1092. or Jew.Copy !req
1093. I came here on a simple mission
to save my country by deliveringCopy !req
1094. our number one televiski star
Johnny the MonkeyCopy !req
1095. as a gift to Michael Pence.Copy !req
1096. And I'm sure you've figured out
what happen next.Copy !req
1097. My daughter had smuggled herself
into the crate,Copy !req
1098. and yes, you got it,
she'd eaten the monkey.Copy !req
1099. Although I believe
he probably eat himself.Copy !req
1100. There are bad stories out there.Copy !req
1101. Listen, you want
to hear my story,Copy !req
1102. - when I was a little child?
- Yes, what is your story?Copy !req
1103. I was in the Holocaust.
You see me?Copy !req
1104. I was in the Holocaust.Copy !req
1105. - The Holocaust?
You were in the... -Yeah.Copy !req
1106. - I was... -But the Hol—
the Holocaust never happen.Copy !req
1107. But I saw it with my own eyes.Copy !req
1108. So the Holocaust...Copy !req
1109. - Happened.
- ... happen?Copy !req
1110. - Yes.
- Really?Copy !req
1111. - Really.
- It was not a fake?Copy !req
1112. - No. No, my dear.Copy !req
1113. - It wa— it really happened.Copy !req
1114. Thank you, Judith.
You made me so happy.Copy !req
1115. Thank you.Copy !req
1116. Thank you for giving me...Copy !req
1117. - Hope.
- ... faith and hope again.Copy !req
1118. Let's make l-love
instead of war.Copy !req
1119. Hold on.
One step at a time, Judith.Copy !req
1120. The Holocaust happen!Copy !req
1121. My culture was right!Copy !req
1122. I had to find
my daughter immediateCopy !req
1123. and deliver her to Giuliani.Copy !req
1124. I search in nearby village.Copy !req
1125. Tutar!Copy !req
1126. But for some reason,Copy !req
1127. - the streets were
completely empty. -Tutar!Copy !req
1128. Tutar!Copy !req
1129. Stop hiding!Copy !req
1130. Uh, hello. Jangshemash.Copy !req
1131. Where is everybody?Copy !req
1132. I do not see anybody
on the street.Copy !req
1133. That's— Everybody's at home.Copy !req
1134. They're telling them
to stay insideCopy !req
1135. so they don't spread this virus.Copy !req
1136. - Wh— There is a virus?
- Yes.Copy !req
1137. They're wanting everybody
to quarantine.Copy !req
1138. I do not have, uh,
nowhere else to go.Copy !req
1139. Could I stay your home?Copy !req
1140. This is it.Copy !req
1141. Come on in.Copy !req
1142. - You go ahead and come on in.
- Oh. Oh.Copy !req
1143. Very nice. Yes?
- Well, hello.Copy !req
1144. - Yes.
- Yes.Copy !req
1145. Nice to meet you.Copy !req
1146. - Okay.
- Yes.Copy !req
1147. How long must we be stuck
in here?Copy !req
1148. Well, don't know for sure.Copy !req
1149. Till this COVID-19 thing
passes.Copy !req
1150. What is more dangerous, this,
uh, virus or the Democrat?Copy !req
1151. Democrats.
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
1152. I think, with the Democrats,Copy !req
1153. with Obama— and I think
it goes back to the Clintons—Copy !req
1154. when they were also in office.Copy !req
1155. This, uh, Clinton,
they make this plague?Copy !req
1156. - Yes. Yes.
- Mm. Not nice!Copy !req
1157. - Clintons are very evil.
- Extremely evil.Copy !req
1158. Supposedly,
they torture these kids.Copy !req
1159. - It gets their adrenaline
flowing in their body. -Mm-hmm.Copy !req
1160. Then they take that
out of their adren—Copy !req
1161. - adrenal glands...
- Yeah.Copy !req
1162. and then they drink
their bloodCopy !req
1163. or that-that out of their...Copy !req
1164. I've heard about things
like that. -Yeah.Copy !req
1165. Hillary Clinton drink
the, uh, blood of children?Copy !req
1166. - That's what we've heard.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1167. - I've heard.
- It's-it's been said.Copy !req
1168. - Yeah.
Lucky for me,Copy !req
1169. I was taken in by two of
America's greatest scientists.Copy !req
1170. - What's up?
- I'm killing some of the viroos.Copy !req
1171. - No, you can't see the virus.
- No, it's still there.Copy !req
1172. This will kill the virus.Copy !req
1173. in the middle with youCopy !req
1174. what it is I should doCopy !req
1175. this smile from my faceCopy !req
1176. I'm all over the placeCopy !req
1177. That don't go in here.
- But this is for wash machine.Copy !req
1178. - What is that, the flashlight?
- I get you new flashlight.Copy !req
1179. Alexa, order three flashlights.Copy !req
1180. Ah.Copy !req
1181. with you...Copy !req
1182. Oh...
Oh, wait a minute.Copy !req
1183. - I don't think that's a
flashlight. What is it?Copy !req
1184. I didn't get the...
I said "flashlight."Copy !req
1185. This is "Flesh."
It's called a Fleshlight.Copy !req
1186. with you...Copy !req
1187. You got it. We're done.Copy !req
1188. The Democrats,Copy !req
1189. they want to hurt
and destroy this country.Copy !req
1190. They are like demons.Copy !req
1191. - Yes.
- Yes.Copy !req
1192. We can't do to them
what we would like to doCopy !req
1193. because they-they unfortunately,
they have the same rights we do.Copy !req
1194. They should have
a bit less rights than you.Copy !req
1195. - Mm... -High five.
- They-they should.Copy !req
1196. Even though
the hoax virus lockdownCopy !req
1197. was stopping me
from finding Tutar,Copy !req
1198. Jim and Jerry found ways
to cheer me up.Copy !req
1199. I wrote a song
for you last nightCopy !req
1200. so you can play for us.Copy !req
1201. It's called
"The Chinese Virus Song."Copy !req
1202. - "America, he did hate her."
Yeah.Copy !req
1203. - There you go.
- Yeah, that's good.Copy !req
1204. That's good. I like that.Copy !req
1205. - That's good.
- Say, "You can put him in jail."Copy !req
1206. Yep.
- Is he in jail?Copy !req
1207. No, but I hope so soon.Copy !req
1208. But I still
had not found Tutar.Copy !req
1209. And although my buddies
were highly knowledgeables,Copy !req
1210. they didn't know anything
about womens.Copy !req
1211. The women here have rights.Copy !req
1212. They can do whatever they want.Copy !req
1213. They have a brain
like we have a brain.Copy !req
1214. They can think and say the
same things we think and say.Copy !req
1215. When girl born, you are givenCopy !req
1216. instruction booklet made byCopy !req
1217. - the Ministry of Agriculture
and Wildlife. -Um, yes, but...Copy !req
1218. The male baby come out walking.Copy !req
1219. Not the female.
The male baby come out...Copy !req
1220. - Look, you see.
- Uh, they don't.Copy !req
1221. This is supposed to be
the doctors,Copy !req
1222. with delivery of the baby?Copy !req
1223. Yes.Copy !req
1224. The doctor wait
for the baby to fall out,Copy !req
1225. and you have
two other doctor do this.Copy !req
1226. - Well, you don't need that. No.
- One in anoos, one in mouth.Copy !req
1227. What you have shown us
and explained to us,Copy !req
1228. - we're sitting here like,
"What?"Yeah.Copy !req
1229. You were looking at this
and thinking, "What?"Copy !req
1230. - Yeah.
- It's a lie.Copy !req
1231. That's—
It's a conspiracy theory.Copy !req
1232. I was scared
that I would never find Tutar.Copy !req
1233. But then something amazings
happened while I was lookingCopy !req
1234. for QAnon stories
with my buddies.Copy !req
1235. - Does this...
- Hold on. Whoa, whoa, whoa.Copy !req
1236. Mm-hmm?
- Wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
1237. This look like Tutar.Copy !req
1238. Her hair different,
but this her, this Tutar.Copy !req
1239. Where are your pictures?Copy !req
1240. Can I see your pictures
of her, please?Copy !req
1241. Okay, just a minute.
You know what?Copy !req
1242. I'll be goddamned
if it isn't her.Copy !req
1243. It does look like it.Copy !req
1244. Screw me in the anoos, this her.Copy !req
1245. Join me again on Saturday.Copy !req
1246. I will be reporting live
from the state'sCopy !req
1247. biggest anti-lockdown protest.Copy !req
1248. I got to get a pen
that fucking works here.Copy !req
1249. - "March..."
"For Our Rights."Copy !req
1250. "... For Our Rights Rally."Copy !req
1251. - Saturday, June 27.
- That's tomorrow.Copy !req
1252. - What? It's tomorrow?
- It's tomorrow.Copy !req
1253. Please, please, can we go?Copy !req
1254. - Buddy, buddy, can we go?
- Listen, listen, listen.Copy !req
1255. Buddy, buddy, buddy. Please.Copy !req
1256. Can we go out of lockdown
and find her?Copy !req
1257. I would think so.Copy !req
1258. - But if she see me... -I know,
that's what I just said.Copy !req
1259. then she will run
the moment she see my face.Copy !req
1260. Okay, you have to change
your appearance.Copy !req
1261. Do something different
with your hair...Copy !req
1262. - Yes.
- ... wear different clothes.Copy !req
1263. If I am disguise,
what is the one thingCopy !req
1264. that is irresistible
to all teenage girls?Copy !req
1265. Rock stars.Copy !req
1266. - What is it?
What?Copy !req
1267. Onions.Copy !req
1268. - Onions?
- Onions.Copy !req
1269. We have onions.Copy !req
1270. - We have onions?
- Yes.Copy !req
1271. - You have onions in this house?
- Yes.Copy !req
1272. - I believe we do.
- Yes!Copy !req
1273. Thank you, buddy! I love you!
You are my best friend!Copy !req
1274. - Okay.
- Fuck the social distance.Copy !req
1275. We got to get up and fight
for this beautiful country,Copy !req
1276. - the United States of America.Copy !req
1277. I don't see
very many masks out there.Copy !req
1278. That makes you, that makes you
instant criminals right now.Copy !req
1279. They want to throw you in jailCopy !req
1280. for what you're doing
right here, right now.Copy !req
1281. Do you understand that?Copy !req
1282. They're relying that you guys
continue to shut upCopy !req
1283. and sit in your house
like good little subjects.Copy !req
1284. - We will not comply.Copy !req
1285. Will not comply!
Now you're talking!Copy !req
1286. I going to head up to the stage
to see where she is.Copy !req
1287. We got to get up
and fight, guys.Copy !req
1288. God bless each
and every single one of you.Copy !req
1289. All right, we got
some great music coming up.Copy !req
1290. - Y'all ready?Copy !req
1291. Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome your next act,Copy !req
1292. Country Steve.Copy !req
1293. Are you Country Steve?Copy !req
1294. Mm.Copy !req
1295. - You bet
your asshole I am. -Great.Copy !req
1296. - There he is.
- Oh, my gosh. Look at him.Copy !req
1297. He's doing it.Copy !req
1298. I can't believe he's doing it.Copy !req
1299. Do you know, um...Copy !req
1300. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
1301. Right.Copy !req
1302. Okay? B-A-A-D-E.Copy !req
1303. Uh...Copy !req
1304. I wrote this song
with my two best buddies.Copy !req
1305. Yeah, very nice.Copy !req
1306. it ain't no jokesCopy !req
1307. a liberal hoaxCopy !req
1308. - Yes.Copy !req
1309. with the Wuhan fluCopy !req
1310. the Wuhan fluCopy !req
1311. - Let hear it.Copy !req
1312. with the Wuhan fluCopy !req
1313. the Wuhan fluCopy !req
1314. Over there. She's over there.Copy !req
1315. to the rightCopy !req
1316. Yes.Copy !req
1317. Okay, journalists.Copy !req
1318. Are we gonna inject them
with the Wuhan fluCopy !req
1319. or chop 'em up
like the Saudis do?Copy !req
1320. Okay, let's hear it.Copy !req
1321. Who wants to inject them
with the Wuhan flu?Copy !req
1322. Who wants to chop 'em up
like the Saudis do?Copy !req
1323. what we gonna do?Copy !req
1324. like the Saudis do...Copy !req
1325. Um, he's been
doing a really good job.Copy !req
1326. And the-the coronavirus just
happened to come along and...Copy !req
1327. Excuse me. Can I talk to you?Copy !req
1328. like the Saudis do...Copy !req
1329. He needs you to go back
to be withCopy !req
1330. a man from Washington, D.C.,Copy !req
1331. and if you do not do that,
they will kill him.Copy !req
1332. They're gonna take two cows,Copy !req
1333. and they're gonna
tie them to his—Copy !req
1334. tie ropes to his legs.Copy !req
1335. And they're gonna
give them turnips,Copy !req
1336. and they're gonna pull him apart
by his legs.Copy !req
1337. That's how they're gonna
kill him.Copy !req
1338. What should we do
with scientists?Copy !req
1339. Let's hear it for
"feed them to the bears."Copy !req
1340. - Yeah!Copy !req
1341. Let's hear it for
"gas them up like the Germans."Copy !req
1342. - Okay, let's do "gas them up."Copy !req
1343. I will not talk with him.Copy !req
1344. But tell him that I will do it.Copy !req
1345. Your father wanted you to have
the book back.Copy !req
1346. Thank you very much.
My name Country Steve.Copy !req
1347. Tutar was going to give herself
to Rudolph Giuliani.Copy !req
1348. I had restored greatness
to Kazakhstan.Copy !req
1349. Hello. My name is Grace
Sagdiyev from Patriot's Report.Copy !req
1350. I would love to interview
your boss Rudy Giuliani.Copy !req
1351. It was time to return
to Kazakhstan as a hero.Copy !req
1352. Finally, I would get
my life back.Copy !req
1353. Yet something was missings.Copy !req
1354. Something precious
that I could never replace.Copy !req
1355. Hello.Copy !req
1356. I, uh, want my daughter
ball and chain, please.Copy !req
1357. Okay, well, can you step back?Copy !req
1358. 'Cause you're too close to me.Copy !req
1359. Did you take the test?Copy !req
1360. To see if I, uh,
had the syphilis?Copy !req
1361. - Not syphilis.
- Ah, yes.Copy !req
1362. I had it 15 times.Copy !req
1363. Not— That's not good.Copy !req
1364. Okay, just stop right there.Copy !req
1365. - What?
- You have to stop right there.Copy !req
1366. - Stop here? Why? -'Cause we can
talk better that way.Copy !req
1367. Can I have
my ball and chain, please?Copy !req
1368. - Are you finna put it back
on her? -No, of course not.Copy !req
1369. She, uh, luckily came
to her senses,Copy !req
1370. and she is, uh, about
to gift herself to a new owner.Copy !req
1371. She will be the happiest woman
in the world, uh,Copy !req
1372. just like, uh, Melania.Copy !req
1373. Can I have my...Copy !req
1374. Yes, I'm finna get
your ball and chainCopy !req
1375. - for you.
- Thank you.Copy !req
1376. You're welcome.Copy !req
1377. Yes, that's my girl's.Copy !req
1378. Here you go.Copy !req
1379. - What is it?
- That's hers.Copy !req
1380. One more thing that she left.Copy !req
1381. I have a pain
in my, uh, titties.Copy !req
1382. Maybe because you're giving away
your baby.Copy !req
1383. Why would that make
my chest hurt?Copy !req
1384. - It should.
- Why?Copy !req
1385. You're giving a little girl
to a old man.Copy !req
1386. That should make
your chest hurt.Copy !req
1387. It should make your heart hurt.Copy !req
1388. Don't you love her?Copy !req
1389. You care for her?Copy !req
1390. - You care?
- Yes.Copy !req
1391. Okay.Copy !req
1392. So, shouldn't she make
the decisionCopy !req
1393. on who she marries?Copy !req
1394. But there is only, uh,
two hours leftCopy !req
1395. before she will meet
with this man.Copy !req
1396. That's two hours.Copy !req
1397. - You got two hours to stop it.
- Yes.Copy !req
1398. Find your baby and tell her
she don't have to do that.Copy !req
1399. Thank you so much.Copy !req
1400. - Okay, I will go.
- Okay.Copy !req
1401. Oh, one last thing.Copy !req
1402. Will you be my new Black wife?Copy !req
1403. No, sir, I cannot be
your new Black wife.Copy !req
1404. Okay.Copy !req
1405. As a woman, you have to beCopy !req
1406. kind of weak.Copy !req
1407. No more strong.
We can't be strong anymore.Copy !req
1408. - Nice to meet you, my dear.
- Nice to meet you.Copy !req
1409. - You're one of my greatest
heroes. -Oh, that's so nice.Copy !req
1410. - Thank you. Thank you.
- Yes.Copy !req
1411. I will try my best,Copy !req
1412. but because I am
super excited and nervous...Copy !req
1413. Well, you relax. I'll relax.Copy !req
1414. You want me
to ask you questions?Copy !req
1415. - I'll relax you, okay?
- Yes.Copy !req
1416. Thank you. I feel like
I'm living in a fairy tale.Copy !req
1417. Come here.Copy !req
1418. You're gonna do great, okay?Copy !req
1419. - Where are you going?
Upstairs.Copy !req
1420. No, you are not going up there.Copy !req
1421. But I must defend my daughter's
vagine from America's mayor.Copy !req
1422. Let me see your I.D.!Copy !req
1423. So, please take this.Copy !req
1424. It used to belong to my father,
but I think you should keep it.Copy !req
1425. It— Whoa. My God.Copy !req
1426. That's wonderful
that you gave this to me.Copy !req
1427. So, uh...Copy !req
1428. Well, thank you, my dear.Copy !req
1429. Get out or I'm calling
the police!Copy !req
1430. Time running out.Copy !req
1431. Please. His old chram
will soon be turgid.Copy !req
1432. A little bit about China.Copy !req
1433. As an expert
of national security,Copy !req
1434. what do you think
we can do going forwardCopy !req
1435. to prevent this
for happening again?Copy !req
1436. W-Well, China manufactured
the virus and let it out.Copy !req
1437. And they deliberately spread it
all around the world.Copy !req
1438. - I don't think anybody
was eating bats. -Yeah.Copy !req
1439. - Did you ever have a bat?
- Oh, no.Copy !req
1440. - I don't think
I will ever...Copy !req
1441. eat a bat.Copy !req
1442. If you eat a bat with me.Copy !req
1443. - Okay, I will. I'll eat
a bat with you. -Can we try?Copy !req
1444. - You're so funny.Copy !req
1445. Uh, in the panty-house.
Uh, ooh.Copy !req
1446. So, probably
in a rough estimate,Copy !req
1447. how many lives
President Trump saved?Copy !req
1448. I'd say he's saved
a million lives.Copy !req
1449. There would've been a million
more had he, had he waitedCopy !req
1450. - that month, the way the
Democrats would've done. -Yeah.Copy !req
1451. Uh, but he acted swiftly,Copy !req
1452. he acted before anybod—
in fact,Copy !req
1453. even his own,
even his own advisors...Copy !req
1454. - some of them advised him
not to do it. -Really?Copy !req
1455. - Yeah.Copy !req
1456. I'm good. Oh, here,
a little bit does some good?Copy !req
1457. - Yeah. It's always good.Copy !req
1458. Never been in front
of the camera.Copy !req
1459. I've always been
behind of the camera,Copy !req
1460. but today,
something with this...Copy !req
1461. Uh, I think you're gonna
look pretty good.Copy !req
1462. - We will see.Copy !req
1463. Yeah, you're gonna look
pretty good.Copy !req
1464. - But it's because of you.
- Well, thank you.Copy !req
1465. I really feel like Melania
right now.Copy !req
1466. Well, you're doing very well.Copy !req
1467. So I think you're gonna
look pretty...Copy !req
1468. Sorry to interrupt, Mayor.Copy !req
1469. Um, sound problem.Copy !req
1470. I think we cancel interview.Copy !req
1471. Mm-hmm?Copy !req
1472. - Uh, I don't think we need,
uh... because... -Yeah.Copy !req
1473. - I-I already checked...
- I'll just check your mic.Copy !req
1474. Okay.Copy !req
1475. - Is that better?
- Yeah, that's b-better.Copy !req
1476. Let me just listen in
for a minute.Copy !req
1477. Yeah.Copy !req
1478. Is she asking
too many questions?Copy !req
1479. No, she's doing great.Copy !req
1480. She'd make a very nagging wife.Copy !req
1481. No!Copy !req
1482. If I were you, I would stick
to marrying your cousins.Copy !req
1483. Let me check the sound.Copy !req
1484. Can I check the sound?Copy !req
1485. Sure.Copy !req
1486. Mr. Mayor,
c-can you say something?Copy !req
1487. Can you say something?Copy !req
1488. - Yes, I'm fine.
- Yeah, the sound is perfect.Copy !req
1489. - It's probably better if I stay
and... -Please, please l-leave.Copy !req
1490. No, no, please.
If I need you, I will call you.Copy !req
1491. - You sure? -You will be
in the lobby, right?Copy !req
1492. Don't do it.Copy !req
1493. What? That's what you want.Copy !req
1494. But it's not what you want.Copy !req
1495. But I also don't want you
to die.Copy !req
1496. Now go! Go.Copy !req
1497. - What if I take your place and
he makes sexy time with me? -No.Copy !req
1498. Leave.Copy !req
1499. - I'm so sorry. That's horrible.
- Just relax. Sit down.Copy !req
1500. Sit, sit, sit, sit. Okay.Copy !req
1501. I'm so sorry for that.Copy !req
1502. Really, I apologize.Copy !req
1503. Apology accepted. No problem.Copy !req
1504. - Okay.
- Okay?Copy !req
1505. Yeah. Uh, thank you again
for giving me this time.Copy !req
1506. Shall we have a drink
in the bedroom?Copy !req
1507. - Come here. Come here.
What?Copy !req
1508. Hold up.Copy !req
1509. - There you go, my dear.
- Okay.Copy !req
1510. Yeah, you're-you're good.Copy !req
1511. You can give me your
phone number and your address.Copy !req
1512. - Should we slip your jacket?
- Okay.Copy !req
1513. Put down your chram!Copy !req
1514. Oh!Copy !req
1515. She 15. She too old for you.Copy !req
1516. Why are you dressed like this?Copy !req
1517. She my daughter.
Please, take me instead.Copy !req
1518. - Take my anoos. -Don't take him.
- I don't want you.Copy !req
1519. No, no, take my anoos.
Do not have her.Copy !req
1520. I'm better than him.Copy !req
1521. No, I better.
My back pussy very tight.Copy !req
1522. No, please, my front anoos.Copy !req
1523. Please, I will let you
enjoy my chram in your mouth.Copy !req
1524. No, I better!Copy !req
1525. I can...
I would love to marry you.Copy !req
1526. I was in prison many years,Copy !req
1527. so I have techniques
with my mouth.Copy !req
1528. Hello? What's going on here?
Look at this guy.Copy !req
1529. I forbid this union.Copy !req
1530. Rudy, Trump will be disappoint.Copy !req
1531. You are leaving hotel
without golden shower.Copy !req
1532. That one was close.Copy !req
1533. You know what I think?Copy !req
1534. I think you did this becauseCopy !req
1535. you love me
as much as your sons.Copy !req
1536. No.Copy !req
1537. More.Copy !req
1538. So much more.Copy !req
1539. What shall we do?Copy !req
1540. You stay here.Copy !req
1541. I will go home.Copy !req
1542. To be executed.Copy !req
1543. - I'm coming with you.
- No, no.Copy !req
1544. You want to live in a cage?Copy !req
1545. I forbid it.Copy !req
1546. I get to choose.Copy !req
1547. Okay.Copy !req
1548. This is my final
Will and Testament.Copy !req
1549. To my daughter,
I leave everything...Copy !req
1550. One anti-semitic chocolate cake,Copy !req
1551. also three...Copy !req
1552. Fleshlights.Copy !req
1553. Stop.Copy !req
1554. We're not going to kill you.Copy !req
1555. But I failed my mission.Copy !req
1556. It's okay. People make mistakes.Copy !req
1557. Tatti?Copy !req
1558. I a total failures.Copy !req
1559. My whole world fall to pieces.Copy !req
1560. - They make this plague?
Yes.Copy !req
1561. And they deliberately spread itCopy !req
1562. all around the world.Copy !req
1563. Two Sagdiyev.Copy !req
1564. I believe it comes
out of that laboratory.Copy !req
1565. I don't think anybody
was eating bats.Copy !req
1566. - Did you ever eat a bat?
Oh, no. -Copy !req
1567. Our Premier Nazarbayev,
he grab a lot.Copy !req
1568. He can do whatever
he wants, right?Copy !req
1569. He sent you
a bunch of angry faces.Copy !req
1570. - I go to America!Copy !req
1571. So, what if they
spread it all around the world?Copy !req
1572. The Wuhan flu.Copy !req
1573. Wawaweewa!Copy !req
1574. You the Forrest the Gumps!Copy !req
1575. - Hi.
- Please, uh, make autograph?Copy !req
1576. Sure.Copy !req
1577. - How do you spell your name?
- Uh, B...Copy !req
1578. We have 15 cases of coronavirus.Copy !req
1579. We're ready.
We're ready for anything.Copy !req
1580. Why, uh, you wear mask?Copy !req
1581. 'Cause ofCopy !req
1582. the virus that's going around.Copy !req
1583. It's gone worldwide.
It's all around the world.Copy !req
1584. It's in the air.
It's everywhere.Copy !req
1585. And then you get sick.Copy !req
1586. I'm good.Copy !req
1587. "Stupid foreign reporter."Copy !req
1588. You will die.Copy !req
1589. Wawaweewa.Copy !req
1590. STOP!Copy !req
1591. You used me to spread the virus
around the world.Copy !req
1592. Yes I did.Copy !req
1593. And our plan worked brilliantly.Copy !req
1594. We got our revenge on the world
for them laughing on us.Copy !req
1595. Did you hear that, Brian?Copy !req
1596. - Yes, sir.
- If anything happens to me,Copy !req
1597. forward this to my best
boyfriends, Jim and Jerry.Copy !req
1598. What is that magical calculator?Copy !req
1599. It's called a phone.Copy !req
1600. Who is that?Copy !req
1601. America's Minister
of Technology.Copy !req
1602. His name, Brian.Copy !req
1603. His twin brother live
inside my phone.Copy !req
1604. Say jangshemash, Brian.Copy !req
1605. Hello. This is Brian.Copy !req
1606. I just recorded you talking.Copy !req
1607. Ok...Copy !req
1608. What do you two want...Copy !req
1609. to keep your mouths shut?Copy !req
1610. I have some ideas.Copy !req
1611. Jangshemash!
Kazakhstan now feminist nation.Copy !req
1612. Like US&A and Saudi Arabia.Copy !req
1613. Bride exports
declared misogynist,Copy !req
1614. so we now traffic grooms.Copy !req
1615. We use my iPhone 4's hot spotCopy !req
1616. and steal password
from assholes Uzbekistan.Copy !req
1617. Now we are part
of the global community,Copy !req
1618. influencing elections
around the world.Copy !req
1619. Kazakhstan now center
of COVID-safe fashion.Copy !req
1620. We invent the maskini!Copy !req
1621. Where did you go?Copy !req
1622. Cotton-Eyed Joe?Copy !req
1623. Our people are kept healthyCopy !req
1624. with daily hygienic
temperature checks.Copy !req
1625. Our fatality rate plummet
to 92%.Copy !req
1626. Best of all, I am reinstateCopy !req
1627. as number-four journalist
in all of Kazakhstan.Copy !req
1628. Who number three?Copy !req
1629. Tutar Sagdiyev.Copy !req
1630. Why not?Copy !req
1631. May the patriarchy go to hells.Copy !req
1632. - Nice.
- No, "ni-I-ice."Copy !req
1633. Don't mansplain to me.Copy !req
1634. Feminists.Copy !req
1635. My visit to US&A make me realizeCopy !req
1636. that greatest threat
to KazakhstanCopy !req
1637. is no longer the Jew.Copy !req
1638. It is, in fact, the Yankee.Copy !req
1639. - Jangshemash.Copy !req
1640. Welcome to the first everCopy !req
1641. Running of the American.Copy !req
1642. They're starting to run!Copy !req
1643. Here comes the American!Copy !req
1644. Oh no! He's got the fever!Copy !req
1645. He's not wearing a mask.Copy !req
1646. Oh!Copy !req
1647. Here comes Karen!Copy !req
1648. She's being a little bit racist!Copy !req
1649. She's going to cough.Copy !req
1650. Here comes
the chief medical expert!Copy !req
1651. - And he's got a vaccine!Copy !req
1652. Everybody's going to be saved!Copy !req
1653. Uh ohCopy !req
1654. She's been to Walmart,
she's got her AR-15.Copy !req
1655. - Karen is not happy.Copy !req
1656. Oh no, she's killed Fauci!Copy !req
1657. The Americans are victoriousCopy !req
1658. in their battle against science.Copy !req
1659. For Kazakhstan TV,Copy !req
1660. this is Tutar Sagdiyev...Copy !req
1661. and Borat Margaret Sagdiyev.Copy !req
1662. Chenquieh.Copy !req
1663. You were amazing!Copy !req
1664. raindrops fallCopy !req
1665. shining throughCopy !req
1666. in my mindCopy !req
1667. some time with youCopy !req
1668. just the two of usCopy !req
1669. you and ICopy !req
1670. and I don't waste timeCopy !req
1671. jump to the rhythm, jumpCopy !req
1672. Jump, jump,
jump, jump, jumpCopy !req
1673. to make you shake your pantsCopy !req
1674. come on and danceCopy !req
1675. don't wait, make her twirlCopy !req
1676. and I'm just a squirrelCopy !req
1677. to move your buttCopy !req
1678. so, yo, what's up?Copy !req
1679. come on, say "yeah"Copy !req
1680. everybody over thereCopy !req
1681. and I pursue this grooveCopy !req
1682. in the house, moveCopy !req
1683. and I'm just a squirrelCopy !req
1684. to move your buttCopy !req
1685. so, yo, what's up?Copy !req
1686. come on, say "yeah"Copy !req
1687. everybody over thereCopy !req
1688. and I pursue this grooveCopy !req
1689. in the house, moveCopy !req
1690. and go for yoursCopy !req
1691. now hit the dance floorCopy !req
1692. till you bleedCopy !req
1693. to control the diceCopy !req
1694. to the point, I'm niceCopy !req
1695. your heart and soulCopy !req
1696. is free and a wholeCopy !req
1697. till you can't dance no moreCopy !req
1698. and upside downCopy !req
1699. let me see you moveCopy !req
1700. everybody dance nowCopy !req