1. Premier Nazarbayev!
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2. Listen carefully, asshole.
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3. I have a mission for you.
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4. Everyone apart from me.
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5. You, Sagdiyev...
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6. will return to US&A to deliver a gift
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7. so that Kazakhstan will earn
the respect of Trump.
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8. So, it must go to
someone in his inner circle.
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9. America's most famous
ladies man -
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10. Michael Pence.
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11. What is the gift?
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12. Johnny the Monkey.
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13. A cameraman will follow you to
document your mission.
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14. I will need my producer,
Azamat Bagatov.
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15. Impossible.
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16. Why?
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17. You are sitting on him.
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18. Also, get me a chocolate cake.
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19. Now, get him ready!
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20. These gypsy tears will
keep you safe.
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21. That not my name anymore.
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22. I'm so ashamed of you,
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23. I change it to...
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24. Jeffrey
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25. Epstein.
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26. I have a non-male son?
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27. Daddy?
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28. Why are you living like this?
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29. Because I have no husband
to put me in a beautiful wife cage.
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30. Unlike that bitch, Lilyat Sakanov!
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31. How old are you?
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32. Fifteen.
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33. Fifteen?
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34. You're the oldest unmarried woman
in all Kazakhstan!
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35. I'm so happy that you're back.
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36. I'm not. I'm off to US&A.
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37. Please take me with you!
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38. Not possible.
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39. Please Daddy.
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40. Here...
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41. have a piece of onion instead.
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42. Johnny's in the crate.
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43. You must leave now.
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44. Go to hell, Sagdiyev!
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45. Don't bother coming back this time!
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46. Get lost!
May all your shits have antlers!
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47. Welcome to US&A!
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48. What are you doing here?
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49. I accidentally fell in.
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50. You ate him...?
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51. No.
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52. He ate himself.
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53. You are going home!
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54. Come inside! Come inside!
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55. - Daddy, why is the sky so low?
- This is a room.
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56. - I'm sorry I escaped from box —
- Never mind, I forgive you.
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57. I have decide...
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58. that you will stay here with me.
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59. You have been chosen...
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60. to be given as a gift
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61. to the Vice President.
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62. I will be the next Queen Melania?
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63. She's the happiest wife in the world!
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64. Now, where do girls sleep?
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65. All the answers are in here...
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66. 'Daughter Owner's Manual.'
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67. Official publication of
Ministry of Agriculture and Wildlife.
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68. Wait...
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69. you have a name?
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70. Tutar.
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71. I need one of these...
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72. I know just the place!
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73. Beat you!
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74. No, Daddy. Please, please?
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75. Please, please, please. I want it.
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76. Your palace... awaits.
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77. Not allowed.
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78. You like it?
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79. It's the best present I've ever had!
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80. Is it nicer than Melania's cage?
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81. Not quite,
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82. but similar to cage of
the wife before her...
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83. Stormy Daniels.
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84. Get some sleep.
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85. Tomorrow we will
get you ready for Pence.
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86. Well, good night.
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87. Daddy, I love you.
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88. Thank you.
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89. There is so little wind in here!
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90. Look at me! I'm flying!
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91. Get inside.
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92. Where are we going?
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93. I'm taking you to meet one
of America's leading feminists.
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94. Can you come with me
to the hairdresser?
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95. No, what if they recognize me?
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96. Just disguise yourself
as an American.
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97. - Tutar, you like the dress?
- Yes, I love it.
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98. Daddy, a woman can
own a business?
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99. No, when a woman owns
a business her brain breaks
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100. and her head falls off.
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101. Just like the previous
owners, look...
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102. So young...
tragic.
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103. Could a woman ever
be a journalist?
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104. No, it's dangerous.
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105. Look at the manual.
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106. This happened when a
woman tried to be a journalist.
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107. What about driving a car?
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108. Driving a car!
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109. This is what happened
when a woman drove a car.
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110. Can a woman ask questions?
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111. Questions?
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112. I think it's dangerous.
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113. Time for bed.
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114. Tomorrow you'll observe how
American girls behave in public.
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115. Look, Daddy!
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116. The fathers hold
their daughter's hands here!
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117. He probably forgot to bring a leash.
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118. Daddy, hold my hand
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119. or they will know you are fake
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120. Could a daddy ever love a daughter
as much as he love his sons?
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121. No, any father who did that
would be sentenced to death.
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122. I want to have a cake too.
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123. No. Daughters are not
allowed to have cake.
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124. Please! Please! Please!
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125. It is illegal to give you treat.
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126. I do not want the authorities to see.
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127. Ooo! I can't wait to eat this!
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128. Hide back here.
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129. Ready.
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130. Okay, slow down!
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131. But it's so good!
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132. I know, but go slower, slower!
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133. Are you ok?
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134. I swallowed the baby.
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135. Are you serious?
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136. I swallowed the baby.
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137. You're not supposed
to eat the baby!
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138. Hurry come with me!
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139. We must get you to a doctor!
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140. I'm keeping it.
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141. Okay, okay.
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142. Your makeover is complete...
I think you are ready for Pence.
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143. Really?
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144. But to be sure,
let's have a practice run tonight.
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145. Cinderella...
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146. it's time...
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147. to go to a ball.
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148. Daddy, you need to hold my arm,
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149. so they think we're American.
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150. Okay... just this once.
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151. It's my moon blood.
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152. It started?
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153. Yes.
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154. Fantastic!
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155. Now we can wow them...
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156. with our traditional fertility dance!
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157. I will never get to live in a
golden cage like Melania!
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158. Why do American men hate me?
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159. Come in.
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160. Really?
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161. Do you mean it, Daddy?
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162. Thank you so much, Daddy.
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163. I've got great news!
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164. Pence is speaking nearby.
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165. We'll gift you today.
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166. - But I am not ready yet.
- Of course you're ready!
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167. You are ready for the golden cage!
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168. Okay Daddy!
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169. Tutar, it's me.
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170. Hop on! We are running late.
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171. What's the matter, Daddy?
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172. Nothing.
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173. Will they hurt you?
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174. Of course not.
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175. Could I be a gift
to this friend of Trump instead?
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176. No, he's in jail.
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177. What about this one?
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178. In jail too.
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179. Him?
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180. Arrested.
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181. Him?
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182. House arrest.
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183. What about Rudolph Giuliani?
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184. That's a lot of money, but worth it.
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185. So after you give me as a gift...
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186. you will leave me?
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187. Of course.
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188. I will go home and you
will have new owner.
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189. So I will never see you again?
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190. You expected me to come
live with you both?
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191. No... of course not.
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192. The manual would forbid it.
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193. See you later.
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194. Don't leave me here.
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195. See you later at the titty doctor.
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196. You went to the wrong address!
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197. It's over there.
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198. Where are you going?
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199. No, you are not going up there.
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200. Let me see your I.D.!
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201. Get out or I'm calling the police!
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202. Why are you dressed like this?
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203. I don't want you.
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204. Wow, that was close.
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205. You know what I think?
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206. I think you did this because
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207. you love me as much as your sons.
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208. More.
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209. So much more.
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210. What shall we do?
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211. You stay here.
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212. I will go home.
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213. To be executed.
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214. I'm coming with you.
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215. You want to live in a cage?
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216. I forbid it.
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217. I get to choose.
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218. This is my final Will and Testament.
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219. To my daughter, I leave everything...
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220. One anti-semitic chocolate cake,
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221. also three...
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222. Fleshlights.
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223. Stop.
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224. We're not going to kill you.
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225. But I failed my mission.
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226. It's okay. People make mistakes.
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227. STOP!
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228. You used me to spread the virus
around the world.
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229. Yes I did.
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230. And our plan worked brilliantly.
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231. We got our revenge on the world
for them laughing on us.
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232. What is that magical calculator?
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233. It's called a phone.
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234. Who is that?
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235. America's Minister of Technology.
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236. His name, Brian.
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237. His twin brother live
inside my phone.
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238. Ok...
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239. What do you two want...
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240. to keep your mouths shut?
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241. I have some ideas.
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242. Welcome to the first ever
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243. Running of the American.
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244. They're starting to run!
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245. Here comes the American!
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246. Oh no! He's got the fever!
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247. He's not wearing a mask.
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248. Here comes Karen!
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249. She's being a little bit racist!
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250. She's going to cough.
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251. Here comes the chief medical expert!
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252. And he's got a vaccine!
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253. Everybody's going to be saved!
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254. Uh oh
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255. She's been to Walmart,
she's got her AR-15.
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256. Karen is not happy.
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257. Oh no, she's killed Fauci!
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258. The Americans are victorious
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259. in their battle against science.
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260. For Kazakhstan TV,
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261. this is Tutar Sagdiyev...
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262. and Borat Margaret Sagdiyev.
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263. You were amazing!
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