1. How you do it?
You just throw it like that?Copy !req
2. Looks like I won.
Man, if you don't getCopy !req
3. your hands off my money...
Please.Copy !req
4. I ain't never gonna go broke.Copy !req
5. Roll that shit again.Copy !req
6. Brother, put your money in.
Can't win unless you play.Copy !req
7. You gotta throw it in there.
There we go.Copy !req
8. Am I right? Slipped right out
of my hands. Look at that.Copy !req
9. Yo, Bunz, we gotta go.Copy !req
10. Seriously, his sister's
got some ill will.Copy !req
11. This is going to a good cause.
Sorry I gotta go like this.Copy !req
12. Next time, to keep your shit,
you gotta know when to quit.Copy !req
13. Let's leave. Quickly.Copy !req
14. Hey,
brothers, y'all stay broke.
I mean, stay black.Copy !req
15. Lucky you stopped me.
I was about to
buy a condo in midtown.Copy !req
16. Hell, yeah.
Lucky I stopped you?Copy !req
17. I can tell Nikki,
"We was late becauseCopy !req
18. Bunz was on his
knees playing dice."Copy !req
19. Playing? I was the MVP.
You didn't hear
the roar of the crowd?Copy !req
20. Don't want your cut?Copy !req
21. I ain't saying that.Copy !req
22. Fuck you, motherfucker.
Get outCopy !req
23. of my shit,
know what l'm saying?Copy !req
24. I don't need your tired ass!
Go back to your skank ho!Copy !req
25. She called and left
her fucking numberCopy !req
26. and I caught
your ass in the act!Copy !req
27. Big nose,
pop eyes, receding hairline.Copy !req
28. Truth is,
you can't win, motherfucker!Copy !req
29. Let me see you rise now,
motherfucker!
No, I don't think so!Copy !req
30. Man,
you ain't got to take that.
Jab back, baby. Jab back.Copy !req
31. Hold up one
motherfucking minute!Copy !req
32. When I need Howard Cosell,
I will call Howard Cosell!Copy !req
33. Take your fake-dreaded ass,
pick up Mighty Mouse...Copy !req
34. and skippity-doo
your rank ass home,
motherfucker!Copy !req
35. Better run, man!
Got a greyhound on your back!Copy !req
36. See? That's why I don't
like relationships, man.Copy !req
37. That why I strictly deal
with booty calls.Copy !req
38. Three a.m.,
no questions asked.Copy !req
39. Speaking of that,
I don't wanna do
this blind date.Copy !req
40. You go do your thing.
L'm gonnaCopy !req
41. go back and try to
win me some money.Copy !req
42. Hey, you can do
what you want, Bunz,
okay? But this girl is fine.Copy !req
43. Miss Butterworth fine.Copy !req
44. It's up to you.Copy !req
45. Miss
Butterworth gives me gas.Copy !req
46. Rushon, define "fine."
What does the girl look like?Copy !req
47. I ain't sitting at the table
with no wildebeest.Copy !req
48. I got a reputation.
You know what l'm saying?Copy !req
49. What about that fruit bat
you left the party with?Copy !req
50. I was gonna tell
you about that.Copy !req
51. That girl put something
in my drink, man. L'm serious.Copy !req
52. Because I wouldn't
go out like that.Copy !req
53. The girl had a beard.Copy !req
54. She did not have a beard.Copy !req
55. She had a beard.
She had hair...Copy !req
56. She did not have a beard.Copy !req
57. She had a goatee.
Real nice and thin...Copy !req
58. If your girl ain't Chinese,
then why theCopy !req
59. hell she live way
down in Chinatown?Copy !req
60. Good neighbourhood,
nice apartment.Copy !req
61. Her girlfriend
lives across the hall.Copy !req
62. The girlfriend is Chinese.
You thought l'd be upset.Copy !req
63. I don't mind having a little
Rice Krispies on my plate.Copy !req
64. That means she know how
to pan-fry this noodle.Copy !req
65. She's not Chinese.Copy !req
66. Then what's going on?
Watch yourself.Copy !req
67. Chinese or not,
she could still
snuggle up on these egg rolls.Copy !req
68. You know what l'm saying?
They lower in fat.Copy !req
69. See, that's the reason why
l'II never take
your ass nowhere.Copy !req
70. You take me everywhere.
If I was a girl,
we'd be dating.Copy !req
71. Rushon's friend
is cute, right?Copy !req
72. Oh, he's cute enough.Copy !req
73. No, no, no.
You said he was cute.Copy !req
74. L'm not asking you to have
the man's baby.Copy !req
75. Just run a little
interference for me.
Know what l'm saying?Copy !req
76. Okay.
But he does have class,
though, right?Copy !req
77. You know I do not
mess with anyone
that does not have class.Copy !req
78. Trust me. He is in a class
all by hisself.Copy !req
79. Yo, man, what kind of name
is Lystie anyway?Copy !req
80. It's short for Lysterine.Copy !req
81. That's
motherfucking mouthwash.Copy !req
82. What's up with
these wack-ass names?Copy !req
83. I went out with this
girl named Genoria,Copy !req
84. but she spelled it
like "gonorrhoea."Copy !req
85. I can't put
that on a postcard.Copy !req
86. It's Lysterine
with a Y, not an I.Copy !req
87. Oh,
that makes all the difference
in the world, Rushon.Copy !req
88. The point is
you're doing this for me.Copy !req
89. L've been going out with Nikki
for seven weeks...Copy !req
90. Seven weeks?
And you ain't
hit that ass yet?Copy !req
91. Hey, man, I like her, okay?Copy !req
92. "Hey, man, I like her, okay?"Copy !req
93. Nikki,
why are you taking so long?Copy !req
94. I can't go out like this.Copy !req
95. Here we go. Like what?Copy !req
96. My cleavage is hanging out.Copy !req
97. Cleavage?Copy !req
98. I just don't wanna send out
the wrong signal.Copy !req
99. I think anyone
that's put up with you forCopy !req
100. seven weeks
deserves some nay-nay.Copy !req
101. Oh, really?Copy !req
102. Nikki...Copy !req
103. why are you making Rushon
wait so long?Copy !req
104. He seems like he's a good man.
He's got a career.
He treats you nice.Copy !req
105. I know.Copy !req
106. I just wanna make sure
that he's the right one.Copy !req
107. Just don't leave
me alone with him.Copy !req
108. Sounds like he's
not the only one
feeling the seven-week itch.Copy !req
109. It is not even like that.Copy !req
110. You better watch
that smile, then.Copy !req
111. Can we please go?Copy !req
112. All right.Copy !req
113. This is how I
peep the situation,
like this.Copy !req
114. I think that college got you
too sensitive.Copy !req
115. Sensitive?Copy !req
116. You ain't got no
player left in you.Copy !req
117. If I was you,
I wouldn't let the sun rise
without tagging that ass.Copy !req
118. If it was me,
l'd have that ass bouncingCopy !req
119. like a low rider in a Dr.
Dre video.Copy !req
120. I say, " Miss Nikki,
tonight is the night.
It's a one-time offer."Copy !req
121. She wanna give it
to you tomorrow,Copy !req
122. you say,
" No, tomorrow's too late."Copy !req
123. It's not that simple.Copy !req
124. Not for somebody
who's slipping.Copy !req
125. Put me in
the players" section.Copy !req
126. L'm not slipping.Copy !req
127. You slipping
like a motherfucker.Copy !req
128. Look, Nikki and I are gonna
do our thing tonight.Copy !req
129. She knows it, and I know it.Copy !req
130. I don't know why I
disrespected you.Copy !req
131. But you're
a gambling man, right?Copy !req
132. Why don't you put your money
where your mack is.Copy !req
133. I won't bet money
on something like that.Copy !req
134. We don't have to bet money.
Let's just make it
a gentleman's bet.Copy !req
135. We're gentlemen, right?Copy !req
136. Not gonna let this go?Copy !req
137. Come on, big daddy...Copy !req
138. big player,
big pimp, big baller.Copy !req
139. There you go, that's my boy.
You go the fuck on.Copy !req
140. He's celebrating
his bar mitzvah.
He just got circumcised.Copy !req
141. Go on with your food.Copy !req
142. Oh, Rushon. It's so good
to see you this evening.Copy !req
143. And who is your friend?Copy !req
144. Hello. My name is Chan,
and l'm here to
serve you tonight.Copy !req
145. Hey, brother. Rushon?Copy !req
146. Chan, we're waiting on
our dinner guests.Copy !req
147. I think your hair
is three things:
Fa-bu-Ious.Copy !req
148. Well,
I got three things for you:
Back up, Yoko Ono.Copy !req
149. Oh, nigga, please.Copy !req
150. They're here.Copy !req
151. Look, these girls
got a lot of class.Copy !req
152. So act like you got
a little bit of sense.Copy !req
153. Like you got a mama. Like you
wasn't mixed up
in some test tube.Copy !req
154. We should move to a table
with better light.Copy !req
155. What's wrong with
the light here?Copy !req
156. I can't get with
ladies in muted light.Copy !req
157. I need a good look.
Anybody can look
good in dim light.Copy !req
158. How many times
you go to a club,
and under the disco lights...Copy !req
159. the girl look good?
You having a good time.Copy !req
160. But the next day
you go to pick her up.
You're all happy and shit.Copy !req
161. But it's high noon.
She comes out the house...Copy !req
162. and a fucking sea donkey
climbs into your car.Copy !req
163. I believe in
a brother's right to know
what the hell he's feeding...Copy !req
164. Man, just get up.Copy !req
165. Lysterine, this is
Rushon's friend, Bunz.Copy !req
166. Hey, now, I was...Copy !req
167. Excuse me.Copy !req
168. What do you
think you are doing?Copy !req
169. Did you see that
tarantula-hair fool?Copy !req
170. Motherfucker
look like Predator.Copy !req
171. It's just dinner.
Some egg rolls, mu shu,Copy !req
172. and we out.
Girl, why are you tripping?Copy !req
173. She don't look like
she want my shit, man.Copy !req
174. No, she's on you.
She's just nervous.Copy !req
175. It's a blind date. All right?Copy !req
176. All right. Right.Copy !req
177. Everybody's got a weakness.Copy !req
178. Who knows? You and Bunz
just might hit it off.Copy !req
179. Bunz?Copy !req
180. You blind-date me with
a little "hood-rat named Bunz?Copy !req
181. Girl, have you lost your mind?Copy !req
182. No. I can't get
with a brother named Bunz.Copy !req
183. No, but it's Bunz
with a Z, not an S.Copy !req
184. You never can be too ready.Copy !req
185. Just do this for me, please.Copy !req
186. You owe me.Copy !req
187. Big-time. Now, let's roll.Copy !req
188. Ladies, you look good.Copy !req
189. So, what's up?Copy !req
190. Nothing.Copy !req
191. Are we ready to order?Copy !req
192. I am.
I want the shrimp fried rice.Copy !req
193. Make that two, please.Copy !req
194. Perfect,
and I will have the prawns
in garlic sauce.Copy !req
195. And you, Miss Thang?Copy !req
196. Excuse me?Copy !req
197. You got her with
the "Miss Thang."Copy !req
198. You eating or just looking?Copy !req
199. Okay, boyfriend.
I want a lobster tail
in butter-wine sauce.Copy !req
200. And we girls want
a bottle of Moet.Copy !req
201. Damn,
girl, why you gotta orderCopy !req
202. the most expensive
shit on the menu?Copy !req
203. Rushon,
you need to check your boy.Copy !req
204. Check my ass.Copy !req
205. That's what l'm talking about,
is the check.Copy !req
206. Now,
the lobster don't even haveCopy !req
207. a price.
It just says "seasonal."Copy !req
208. So you know what that means,
a brother gotta pay $28.Copy !req
209. And if I get you
lobster and some Moet,Copy !req
210. you know what's
happening after that.Copy !req
211. No, what does happen?Copy !req
212. L'm going deep-sea diving.Copy !req
213. Bunz, this is a platinum card.Copy !req
214. I could buy and sell
your ashy black,
blue-collared ass.Copy !req
215. Is that right?Copy !req
216. Yes, it is.Copy !req
217. Well, lookie here.Copy !req
218. What is that?Copy !req
219. It's a gold gas card.Copy !req
220. That means I can buy
all the gas I want...Copy !req
221. in all 50 states
and 11 foreign countries.Copy !req
222. And I got
platinum privileges too.Copy !req
223. Because,
you know, if you buy enoughCopy !req
224. gas,
they give you coffee mugs.Copy !req
225. A gas card?
You don't even got a car.Copy !req
226. Why you putting
me on front street?Copy !req
227. L'II have you to
know that I laid away
a "68 Chevy Super Sport...Copy !req
228. with
a 427-cubic inch twin cam
with a Hurst gearshift.Copy !req
229. Sounds like a man who has some
serious doubts
about his manhood.Copy !req
230. Those cars are
nothing but extensions
of your penis or lack thereof.Copy !req
231. Yeah. You're right,
because my dick is
only two inches...Copy !req
232. from the ground.Copy !req
233. Isn't he grand?Copy !req
234. Can't get
a brother's order straight.Copy !req
235. Look,
I ordered shrimp fried rice.
Can I get some shrimp?Copy !req
236. Oh, there is one shrimp there
and another shrimp here.Copy !req
237. What's with
the green leafy stuff? YouCopy !req
238. trying to fool
a brother with shrubbery.Copy !req
239. Child, that's garnishment.
Make your food look good.Copy !req
240. What will make
my food look good
is five extra shrimp.Copy !req
241. I thought there was no smoking
in this restaurant.Copy !req
242. L'II take care of this.Copy !req
243. Bunz, sit down.Copy !req
244. That's the notorious Ug Lee,
the godfather of
the Leuang Triad.Copy !req
245. He runs Chinatown.Copy !req
246. Yeah,
I know, I got all his albums.Copy !req
247. L'II tell him
you said what's up.Copy !req
248. I know you impressed.Copy !req
249. You probably thought
I was just
a common "hood-rat, huh?Copy !req
250. I didn't know
you spoke Chinese.Copy !req
251. Wasn't like I could speak it
to your ass.Copy !req
252. Where'd you learn?Copy !req
253. Watching kung fu movies.Copy !req
254. Me and my father,
we always watched
kung fu movies.Copy !req
255. They got subtitles.Copy !req
256. Our TV didn't have
a vertical hold.Copy !req
257. What l'd do is,
l'd get the kung fu
videos and listen to them.Copy !req
258. Bit by bit,
I started understanding
them motherfuckers.Copy !req
259. One time I went to
the Chinese laundry...Copy !req
260. and all the shit
that sounded like,
"Ping, ting, pang"...Copy !req
261. started making sense.Copy !req
262. So why didn't y'all
just buy a new TV?Copy !req
263. Everybody ain't got
no platinum card.Copy !req
264. You know,
there is some poor folk
out in the world.Copy !req
265. How's your shrimp, baby?Copy !req
266. He ain't got no
shrimp over there.Copy !req
267. Oh, here's one.Copy !req
268. You can have it, baby.Copy !req
269. Oh, my goodness, you whipped.
That boy is whipped.Copy !req
270. You know what?
You need to pay
attention and learn.Copy !req
271. All he did was gave you
a old crusty-ass shrimp.Copy !req
272. There's that'hood-rat
emerging again.Copy !req
273. No fighting in restaurant.
Cost you extra to
fight in restaurant.Copy !req
274. Fuck me?Copy !req
275. My mother?
My mother?Copy !req
276. Suck these fortune-cookie nuts
and read your future...Copy !req
277. You are a horse-mouth bitch
motherfucker.Copy !req
278. I will stick my elbow
sideways up your ass.Copy !req
279. Hold this for me, baby.
Thank you.Copy !req
280. Bring it. Send it.Copy !req
281. All that, now.
That ain't nothing
but some old beginner's luck.Copy !req
282. Here's a little
cleavage for mommy.Copy !req
283. Thank you.Copy !req
284. Cleavage? She needs a whole...Copy !req
285. Well, anyway...Copy !req
286. See,
that's why you're losing.Copy !req
287. Yeah,
l'm losing, but I ain't lost.Copy !req
288. So nice.
So sweet. Give it up, nigga.Copy !req
289. L'm in the money. What? We in
the money.
Got a little cleavage here.Copy !req
290. Beginner's luck, huh?Copy !req
291. Shit happens.Copy !req
292. You tripping.Copy !req
293. L'm tripping?Copy !req
294. It's a little messy in here.Copy !req
295. Girl,
don't even worry about it.Copy !req
296. It's about to get real messy.
Ready?Copy !req
297. L'm gonna do my thing.
Here we go.Copy !req
298. Excuse me,
but where do you two
think you're going?Copy !req
299. Thought l'd put
on some mood musicCopy !req
300. so we could
dance a little bit.Copy !req
301. I think you have done enough
dancing for tonight.Copy !req
302. Come on,
you got the ambience here.
You know how we do it, girl.Copy !req
303. Look, the only reason why we
came up here is
to play some cards.Copy !req
304. After that,
you two are going home.Copy !req
305. Dog, if you don't...
What is it?Copy !req
306. L'm going to kick your ass.Copy !req
307. Leave Killa alone.
He does live here,Copy !req
308. and you are just visiting,
Bunz.Copy !req
309. Well,
if we was really in China,Copy !req
310. l'd have his
ass honey-roasted.Copy !req
311. Play, Nikki.Copy !req
312. Somebody's cheating.Copy !req
313. Something's going on.Copy !req
314. I wish
something was going on.Copy !req
315. Y'all are just mad...Copy !req
316. because you losing.
I heard that, Rushon.Copy !req
317. Caught you slipping again.Copy !req
318. Oh, that's funny to y'all?Copy !req
319. A guy with a girl
for seven weeks,Copy !req
320. don't get no intimacy,
and that's funny?Copy !req
321. Maybe the girl
wants a relationshipCopy !req
322. and isn't
interested in casual sex.Copy !req
323. Maybe the girl wants
a deeper commitment.Copy !req
324. Maybe the girl
wants a soul mate.Copy !req
325. Maybe the girl got
some soul-searching to do.Copy !req
326. Maybe got a brother uptown
with a 9-inch ding-dong...Copy !req
327. knocking
the bottom out your ass.Copy !req
328. Shut up!Copy !req
329. I think it's
a legitimate question.Copy !req
330. If I was going out
with a girl for sevenCopy !req
331. weeks,
know what she'd be doing?Copy !req
332. She'd be playing
the meat flute.
Riding the bologna pony.Copy !req
333. Eating tube steak,
but you gotta work
a little for the gravy.Copy !req
334. Can I get some?
Excuse me.Copy !req
335. Thanks so much
for sharing that with us.Copy !req
336. L've been trying
to share this bigCopy !req
337. paloosa with you
all night, but you...Copy !req
338. Oh, boy, am I getting tired.
Ain't you tired, Bunz?Copy !req
339. You know what,
l'm getting tired myself.Copy !req
340. It is getting
a little late, though.Copy !req
341. Lystie.Copy !req
342. Nikki. It is getting late.Copy !req
343. Look, since y'all tired,
and we definitely tired...Copy !req
344. y'all go ahead.
We can kick it here.Copy !req
345. No, let's still play cards.
Ain't nobody going nowhere.Copy !req
346. What?
So, Lystie.Copy !req
347. Can I ask you
a hypothetical question?Copy !req
348. Have you ever
made a brother waitCopy !req
349. seven weeks to get
up on that thing?Copy !req
350. Why are you asking her?
She ain'tCopy !req
351. never made a man
wait 30 minutes.Copy !req
352. Do I smell a whore?Copy !req
353. No,
see, I have full confidence
in my sexuality.Copy !req
354. And I don't toil over it,
unlike some
prudes that I know.Copy !req
355. Prude.
Prude?Copy !req
356. Oh, see, I am nobody's prude.
I just don't wanna
rush into having sex.Copy !req
357. And, see, that may be hard
for you to understand.Copy !req
358. Oh, really? Well, you might
be able to understand that...Copy !req
359. if you cleared
away those cobwebs
from your coochie.Copy !req
360. Coochie cobwebs?Copy !req
361. Why don't we just deal.Copy !req
362. Don't stop now.
I wanna see them box.Copy !req
363. Let's get ready to rumble!Copy !req
364. What's up?
Y'all ready for another one?Copy !req
365. L'd rather be shopping.Copy !req
366. Well, where is
the love in this room?Copy !req
367. I got plenty of love,
I just can't
seem to get to it.Copy !req
368. Do you ever stop?Copy !req
369. No. I don't ever stop.Copy !req
370. Oh, really?Copy !req
371. Really.Copy !req
372. So are we gonna
play cards or what?Copy !req
373. Oh, girl...Copy !req
374. your feet are
kind of strong,Copy !req
375. but the softest
feet in the world.Copy !req
376. Damn, man!Copy !req
377. Get those big, jungle-rot,
alligator feet off mine!Copy !req
378. You could snatch a salmon
with them eagles" claws!Copy !req
379. Big old cheese knots...Copy !req
380. Damn, something winked at me.Copy !req
381. Feet look like they played
soccer with wolves.Copy !req
382. Get your feet off me, man.
Look like monkey hands.Copy !req
383. Well...Copy !req
384. Suck it. Oh, yes...Copy !req
385. Oh, you gonna play
with a brother's ass.Copy !req
386. You the MVP. A little lower.
Hit me on the taint.Copy !req
387. It "t'ain't" the ass
and it "t'ain't" the lip.Copy !req
388. Man, you talk about toe jam.Copy !req
389. Let me get my head together.Copy !req
390. L'm about to cramp up.Copy !req
391. I got a little
cramp in my leg.
You got any napkins?Copy !req
392. You know, I think I left
my gas on in my stove.Copy !req
393. Bunz, you know how
to work a pilot?Copy !req
394. Yeah.Copy !req
395. Lystie, your stove's
not even hooked up yet.Copy !req
396. You know what,
and speaking of remodelling...Copy !req
397. l've got some paint samples
that I need to mix.Copy !req
398. Do you think
you can assist me?Copy !req
399. I sure the fuck could, girl.
That's my shit. Let's go.Copy !req
400. Hold up. Excuse me.
Where do you guys
think you're going?Copy !req
401. Nikki,
we are gonna head on out.Copy !req
402. You ain't even
played the hand yet.Copy !req
403. We just did.
We just did.Copy !req
404. Lystie, wait a minute...
Ciao.Copy !req
405. Woman, mind your business.Copy !req
406. No, wait...Copy !req
407. Give me that.Copy !req
408. Oh, yes.Copy !req
409. Oh, baby. All you got to do
is tell me how you like it.Copy !req
410. Oh, no, baby, you might think
l'm freaky.Copy !req
411. I don't think you're freaky.Copy !req
412. It really turns me on
when a man can do impressions.Copy !req
413. Imitations?
Imitations.Copy !req
414. Imitations, yeah.
Like, powerful men.Copy !req
415. Men of authority.
Men like Jesse Jackson.Copy !req
416. Yes.
Jesse Jackson?Copy !req
417. Do Jesse.Copy !req
418. Hands that used
to pick cotton...Copy !req
419. can now pick the president?Copy !req
420. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
421. Oh, shit.Copy !req
422. The rhinoceros,
though not as prolificCopy !req
423. as others in
the animal kingdom...Copy !req
424. is nonetheless
as enthusiastic.Copy !req
425. Watch as the 4000-pound beast
rises to the occasion.Copy !req
426. Wax that 4000-pound ass.Copy !req
427. Killa, stop that. No!Copy !req
428. Oh, it's all right.Copy !req
429. He's only human, right?Copy !req
430. How come you didn't pet Killa
when Bunz was here?Copy !req
431. I think he's a bad
influence on you.
I do.Copy !req
432. Just let me say that
the ass is round.Copy !req
433. And you know that l'm down,
bipartisan.Copy !req
434. And we can work
it to the ground.Copy !req
435. When I hit the skins,
we can both joinCopy !req
436. together and say,
"I am somebody."Copy !req
437. I am. Somebody.Copy !req
438. I am. Somebody.Copy !req
439. I am...
Say it loud. I am...Copy !req
440. somebody. Hallelujah.
somebody. Somebody!Copy !req
441. Hallelujah!
Smack my ass!Copy !req
442. Do you know how sweet you are?
How nice you are?Copy !req
443. Then your boys come around,
it's like,"What's up, nigga?"Copy !req
444. Now, who you checking for?
Me...Copy !req
445. or Bunz?
- You.Copy !req
446. L'm
the heavyweight boxing champ.Copy !req
447. Yes, Michael.Copy !req
448. I don't care
what people think.Copy !req
449. Yes, Michael.Copy !req
450. It's ludicrous how
soft your skin is.Copy !req
451. It's soft for you, baby.Copy !req
452. Reminds me of the leather
on my first gloves.Copy !req
453. Work it.Copy !req
454. It makes me wanna work out.Copy !req
455. Work it, Mike.Copy !req
456. Just work it, Mike!Copy !req
457. Yes, work it!Copy !req
458. Oh, you're so vicious!Copy !req
459. Work it! Work it! Work it!Copy !req
460. Wait.Copy !req
461. What? What? What?Copy !req
462. Rushon, do you have a condom?
I want this, I just
don't wanna die for it.Copy !req
463. Yes.
Condom?Copy !req
464. Yeah, I got
a condom right in the coat.
You want a condom?Copy !req
465. I got a condom right here.
Right here, just like I said.Copy !req
466. Here you go. Safe sex.
Here we go, girl.
L'II do my thing.Copy !req
467. Wait. Stop. Stay.Copy !req
468. Come here, baby.Copy !req
469. I would like to take my time
while l'm knocking the boots.Copy !req
470. Go, Bill.Copy !req
471. First, I start with
the breasts becauseCopy !req
472. nipples are so
chocolatey and smooth.Copy !req
473. And then I work my way on down
to the love triangle.Copy !req
474. You like it. L'm kissing it
and licking it...Copy !req
475. and thinking
about sticking it.Copy !req
476. When I get there,
it'II be smooth and creamy...Copy !req
477. just like
the Jell-O pudding.Copy !req
478. Give me this goddamn condom,
you little...Copy !req
479. Rushon!Copy !req
480. There you go.Copy !req
481. A dog's mouth is cleaner
than a human's.Copy !req
482. Rushon.Copy !req
483. You thought l'd
use this on you...Copy !req
484. after it'd been
in the dog's mouth?Copy !req
485. L'II go ahead and
get me another one.Copy !req
486. Don't be kicking my dog.Copy !req
487. Oh, you go, Bill.Copy !req
488. Have your little
somethin"-somethin"
and a smile.Copy !req
489. Feel it, yes.
Feel it. Feel it. Oh, yes.Copy !req
490. Hey,
Bunz, you got any condoms?Copy !req
491. Stardate 2102:Copy !req
492. L'm without contraceptives,
so please leave
me the fuck alone.Copy !req
493. Damn.Copy !req
494. So she was really
doing it with Bunz?Copy !req
495. Sounded more like Bill Cosby
up in there.Copy !req
496. Lysterine always has been
a little kinky.Copy !req
497. No.
L'II call her.Copy !req
498. Come on,
let the boy do what he do.Copy !req
499. And l'm gonna do what I do.Copy !req
500. Shit, it's throwing me off.
Hold on.Copy !req
501. Let me listen.Copy !req
502. Longevity has its place.Copy !req
503. I may not get to
the mountaintop
with you, but I have a dream.Copy !req
504. I have a dream too.Copy !req
505. I have a dream that one day,
every valley
shall be explored.Copy !req
506. Explored.Copy !req
507. Every hill and every mountain
shall be fondled.Copy !req
508. I have a dream
that all the rough places...Copy !req
509. will be laid smooth and all
the crooked
places laid straight.Copy !req
510. Lay it straight!Copy !req
511. And I can look down upon
the voluptuous woman and say:Copy !req
512. What you gonna say?Copy !req
513. " L'II wax that ass!
L'II wax that ass.Copy !req
514. Lord have mercy,
l'II wax that ass!"Copy !req
515. Say it, brother!Copy !req
516. L'II go bananas
up in that rump shaker.Copy !req
517. Lystie, what are you
over there doing?Copy !req
518. Nikki. Nothing.Copy !req
519. Nothing, my ass...Copy !req
520. I know you are not
having unprotected
sex with Martin Luther King.Copy !req
521. Unsafe sex can be deadly.
You know that.Copy !req
522. Nik, Dr. King's
about to rock my world.Copy !req
523. Girl, have you lost your mind?Copy !req
524. You don't know Bunz.
You don't know
where he came from.Copy !req
525. Nikki.
You better go
get you a condom.Copy !req
526. You take a hard look at Bunz
and tell me you
don't need a condom.Copy !req
527. I ain't got
nothing to do with this.Copy !req
528. What's the problem?
We going to do this, or what?Copy !req
529. Bunz, l'm sorry.Copy !req
530. Don't even worry about it.
Let's just go get the condoms.Copy !req
531. No, it is not what you think.Copy !req
532. Yes, it is.Copy !req
533. Nikki's about to
get her groove on.Copy !req
534. No, no, no. See, I told him
he can go to the store...Copy !req
535. pick up some condoms,
and that's it.Copy !req
536. Let's just do
what we gotta do.Copy !req
537. I was doing what I had to do.Copy !req
538. I don't know
about you, but I wasCopy !req
539. doing
everything I had to do...Copy !req
540. to get what I
needed to do done.Copy !req
541. You're gonna give
the brother the keysCopy !req
542. to the car and not
let him drive it?Copy !req
543. Why are you asking
all these questions,
Miss All-Up-in-My-Business?Copy !req
544. What are you gonna be doing?Copy !req
545. Would you really like to know?Copy !req
546. Oh, God.
I don't even wanna know.Copy !req
547. No.Copy !req
548. Since you asked,
I feel I should beCopy !req
549. at liberty to
share it with you.Copy !req
550. First, l've got some toys,
and then l've got some ice.Copy !req
551. Some ice?Copy !req
552. Oh, yeah. Girl, I love ice.Copy !req
553. L'm gonna start at his toes
and just get him to...Copy !req
554. No, no, we closed.Copy !req
555. Yo, yo,
we just want some condoms.Copy !req
556. No condoms for Yoyo.
Yoyo, come here!Copy !req
557. He's saying "yo"
like "yo, man."
He's not calling my name.Copy !req
558. No "Yoyo."
"Yo, yo." I understand.Copy !req
559. Yo, later on, I get to dip
that soy sauce, is that cool?Copy !req
560. Come on, man. We got the girls
waiting for us
back at the crib, man.Copy !req
561. Girl, girl.
I have just what you need.Copy !req
562. Very special. Very rare.Copy !req
563. Tiger penis.Copy !req
564. Make you strong
in all the right places.Copy !req
565. Look, l'm already the king
of the jungle,
know what l'm saying?Copy !req
566. Man, just give us
the best condoms you got.Copy !req
567. Fine, fine.Copy !req
568. Lambskin.Copy !req
569. Very sensitive. Twelve-pack.Copy !req
570. Leaves some feeling
for your jimmy. Only $38.Copy !req
571. Look, man.
Thirty-eight dollars?Copy !req
572. I ain't got 12
dicks to put that on.
I just need one or two.Copy !req
573. No can break box.
Only have 12-pack.Copy !req
574. Twelve condom not much
for king of the jungle.Copy !req
575. You trying to
break my pockets, G.Copy !req
576. Gi, my cousin. I am Chiu.Copy !req
577. Now, you want skins or what?Copy !req
578. Yo, man, if you get those,
you better hit
some Nikki skins.Copy !req
579. What other
choice have we got?Copy !req
580. You know,
me, I just put the tip in.Copy !req
581. You might not be
putting nothing in.Copy !req
582. Hey, tonight,
before the sun rises.Copy !req
583. Hey, look, all I need is one.
L'II just wash it
out and use it again.Copy !req
584. Recycle, baby.Copy !req
585. L'm back.Copy !req
586. Nikki.Copy !req
587. Champagne.Copy !req
588. "Open me." I can do that.Copy !req
589. Or at least I think I can.
Get your...Copy !req
590. Hi.Copy !req
591. Just got a little excited.Copy !req
592. Maybe I should put
this thing on ice.Copy !req
593. Put it on ice.Copy !req
594. I could do that too.Copy !req
595. What's wrong?Copy !req
596. Damn cardboard is sticking me.Copy !req
597. Condoms.Copy !req
598. Condoms.Copy !req
599. Safe way to go.Copy !req
600. What kind of
condoms are these?Copy !req
601. "Condom" condoms, babe.Copy !req
602. These are lambskin.
Don't you listen
to the surgeon general?Copy !req
603. Lambskin condoms don't
protect you
against the HIV virus.Copy !req
604. Baby, l'm government-tested,
grade A, clear as a bell.Copy !req
605. Don't even go there.Copy !req
606. Yeah, but...Copy !req
607. Rushon, just go to the store
and get some latex.Copy !req
608. Okay? Please.Copy !req
609. Latex.Copy !req
610. Latex.Copy !req
611. Goddamn sheep.Copy !req
612. Wimpy little
woolly lamb-chop ass.Copy !req
613. Where you going?Copy !req
614. I was gonna put
some clothes on
and take Killa for a walk.Copy !req
615. L'II take Killa for a walk.
Okay?Copy !req
616. Okay.Copy !req
617. We supposed to be
bonding anyway, right?Copy !req
618. Man's best friend, right?Copy !req
619. You just stay put
with your fine self.
You got that?Copy !req
620. Okay.
L'II be back.Copy !req
621. Bunz...Copy !req
622. the condoms we got
are no good, man.Copy !req
623. L'm going back to Mr. Chiu's.
They're lambskin.Copy !req
624. What am I doing?Copy !req
625. Hey, have a good time, man.Copy !req
626. We will!
We will!Copy !req
627. Bye, Rushon.Copy !req
628. Let me see who that is.
It might be important.Copy !req
629. Hold on, now. Hello?Copy !req
630. Hey, Nik.Copy !req
631. Yeah?Copy !req
632. All right. He'II be right out.Copy !req
633. L'm not going anywhere,
you hear me?
We spent $38 on those condoms.Copy !req
634. I don't want to go out again.Copy !req
635. L'm hot, l'm bothered.
I might hurt somebody.Copy !req
636. Not you.
Because I don't hit women.Copy !req
637. Relax. Look.Copy !req
638. I am gonna turn you
every which way but loose.Copy !req
639. That's what l'm
talking about.Copy !req
640. After you buy...Copy !req
641. a latex condom, okay?Copy !req
642. Good.
Okay.Copy !req
643. When I come back,
we doing this.Copy !req
644. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
645. We doing this.
Do you understand?
No phone ringing.Copy !req
646. If the Avon
lady's at the door,
l'II bust her ass...Copy !req
647. unless she
got some condoms.
All right?Copy !req
648. Why don't we just wait on
the Avon lady.Copy !req
649. Go.Copy !req
650. It's so dark outside.Copy !req
651. Can you believe this?Copy !req
652. Bet he's with Yoyo painting
stripes on that tiger penis.Copy !req
653. She need to be hanging
with this jungle snake.Copy !req
654. What are we gonna do now?Copy !req
655. What we gonna do? No, no.Copy !req
656. What you gonna do?
Because I have mine going on.Copy !req
657. And if this dog don't quit
sniffing on my boots...Copy !req
658. l'm gonna show you
the true
meaning of doggystyle.Copy !req
659. Rushon.
Oh, my God, my man main.Copy !req
660. Singh, my nigga.Copy !req
661. Aren't you on 125th Street?Copy !req
662. L'm a floater.Copy !req
663. I work at Harlem,
Chinatown, Hunt'sCopy !req
664. Point,
Coney Island, Hell's Kitchen.Copy !req
665. I don't give a shit.
L'm a floater.Copy !req
666. No dogs allowed, my friend.Copy !req
667. No, my brother,
that's a Seeing Eye dog.Copy !req
668. Well, see his
nasty little rodent ass
out to the curb.Copy !req
669. He's got a point, my friend.Copy !req
670. You're looking
at the dog's ass?Copy !req
671. He's got a point too.
One to one.Copy !req
672. What? L'm on your side.Copy !req
673. You started this shit.Copy !req
674. Aisle two.
Y'all got some kerosene?Copy !req
675. You moved the kerosene.
Aisle three.Copy !req
676. Tell me when you move things.Copy !req
677. Do I have to?Copy !req
678. L'd like to fuck the dog.
Do I have to tell you that?Copy !req
679. Singh,
I need some latex condoms.
Okay? They gotta be latex.Copy !req
680. Mr.
Black Man, I can't see you.
Come to the front.Copy !req
681. You came to the right place.
We have Ginza,
Sheik, Hot Tamale.Copy !req
682. Booty Call, Backdoor Man,
Manhandlers.Copy !req
683. Ramrod, Lube Job, In Deep.Copy !req
684. Joy Trail, Buckwild
and Goodyear Eagles.Copy !req
685. Goodyear got a condom too?Copy !req
686. Non-skid, maxi-tread.Copy !req
687. Give me the Sheik.
No offence.Copy !req
688. Let me get
the same thing he's got,
and also get some Backdoors.Copy !req
689. Oh, my God.Copy !req
690. I don't think you want them.Copy !req
691. They're for gay men.Copy !req
692. Don't wanna go there.Copy !req
693. I don't know. You could be
a bit of a doo-doo chaser.Copy !req
694. A sodomite,
with hair like that.Copy !req
695. Hell, no.
Y'all got me fucked up.Copy !req
696. I like the fuzzy stuff,
don't get me wrong.Copy !req
697. My hair is just a statement
of my individuality.Copy !req
698. Like I said, a sodomite.Copy !req
699. Or sodo-maybe.Copy !req
700. Very good. High-two.Copy !req
701. Oh, yeah. High-two.Copy !req
702. Over there.
Where are your condoms, man?Copy !req
703. And l'm watching you.Copy !req
704. Mind your business.Copy !req
705. What's a sodomite, anyway?Copy !req
706. You don't wanna know.Copy !req
707. I thought he was
saying I was, like,Copy !req
708. Dolemite's
cousin or something.Copy !req
709. Damn. I forgot Killa.Copy !req
710. Shit.Copy !req
711. Hold.Copy !req
712. Killa.Copy !req
713. Come here. Killa.Copy !req
714. No,
you gotta be firm with them.
Heel!Copy !req
715. Damn!Copy !req
716. Oh, shit. Come here.Copy !req
717. Girl, that's right. He is out
right now
taking care of Killa.Copy !req
718. Looks like Rushon has worked
his way right on in, huh?Copy !req
719. Honey,
let me tell you, my man...Copy !req
720. has earned everything
l'm about to give him.Copy !req
721. Come here, come here,
you little mutt!Copy !req
722. I hate dogs.Copy !req
723. Okay, Bunz, I got it.
L'II tell NikkiCopy !req
724. Killa's with
you and Lysterine.Copy !req
725. That way we can
still get busy...Copy !req
726. Wait, wait.Copy !req
727. I will not get caught up
in your web of deception.Copy !req
728. There's one thing I don't do,
and that's lie.Copy !req
729. All right, when Nikki
is crying on
Lysterine's shoulder...Copy !req
730. then what you gonna do?
- Let's get our
story straight.Copy !req
731. No story required. Come on, B.Copy !req
732. What happened?
What took you guys so long?Copy !req
733. Me and Killa started playing
and lost track of time.Copy !req
734. This dog is so frisky.
You hear me?Copy !req
735. Is there
something on his sweater?Copy !req
736. No.Copy !req
737. Nothing on this sweater.
It's a little shadowy in here.Copy !req
738. You know it's getting late.Copy !req
739. Look at this!Copy !req
740. Is that a strong dog or what?Copy !req
741. Your dog is a trip, girl.
L'm telling you.Copy !req
742. Are you gonna play
with him all night
or come play with me?Copy !req
743. L'II be right in
there with you.
Go ahead. Just go in there.Copy !req
744. L'II be in there.Copy !req
745. Okay.Copy !req
746. Don't take too long.Copy !req
747. Make me get nothing.Copy !req
748. Rushon, what's taking so long?Copy !req
749. What are you supposed to be?Copy !req
750. Jurassic Park, baby.
Getting
prehistoric in here on you.Copy !req
751. Come here, girl.Copy !req
752. What are you doing?Copy !req
753. Going downtown, baby,
on the A train.Copy !req
754. Yeah, that's great.
That's wonderful.Copy !req
755. Don't you think we need
some protection?Copy !req
756. I just went to the store.
I got that. Don't worry.Copy !req
757. You need
a dental dam to protectCopy !req
758. against
the exchange of bodily fluid.Copy !req
759. Where do I get
some dental dam?
I been to the store.Copy !req
760. Plastic wrap in the kitchen
next to the refrigerator.Copy !req
761. All right.
In the kitchen.Copy !req
762. Hurry up. Hurry.Copy !req
763. Okay.Copy !req
764. Clears another hurdle.Copy !req
765. Didn't know I was
in the Olympics,
did you?Copy !req
766. Don't tear up
my kitchen, now.Copy !req
767. I got it. Dam. Here you go.Copy !req
768. Well, don't look like
we be going downtown.Copy !req
769. That's okay, babe.Copy !req
770. It's not.
I want you to go downtown.Copy !req
771. See, if you go to the store...Copy !req
772. then when you come back...Copy !req
773. you do me...Copy !req
774. and l'II do you.Copy !req
775. Yeah,
but the store's a long way...Copy !req
776. Okay.Copy !req
777. To the store.Copy !req
778. It's one thing we're leaving
to go get rubbers.Copy !req
779. It's another thing to get
plastic wrap for
shit I don't do.Copy !req
780. Hey, I might hurt you.
You're my friend,
but I might hurt you.Copy !req
781. Hey, man.
You poked me in the eye.
Cut that shit down.Copy !req
782. Look.
The butt-plugs are back.Copy !req
783. You got any plastic wrap?Copy !req
784. Yeah, in the back,
next to the onions.Copy !req
785. All right. What's so funny?Copy !req
786. You got to lick it
Before you kick itCopy !req
787. You've got to mak
e it soft and wet
Before you stick itCopy !req
788. Hey, hey, camel cowboys.Copy !req
789. We just want some wrap,
and then we out of here.Copy !req
790. Oh, yeah.
No. Most people come inCopy !req
791. to buy GLAD Wrap
at 2 in the morning.Copy !req
792. You got to punch it
Before you munch itCopy !req
793. You've got to work it
Before you jerk itCopy !req
794. See? See? This is why
l'm in favour of
immigration reform.Copy !req
795. You're fresh off the boat
and already
fucking with people.Copy !req
796. Oh, my God, take a breather.Copy !req
797. You feel better?Copy !req
798. I feel better.Copy !req
799. I was just pulling your arm.Copy !req
800. Arm.
Pulling your leg.Copy !req
801. You can't say "
pulling your arm."Copy !req
802. Why do you correct me?Copy !req
803. You are not in Bombay now.Copy !req
804. I wish I was in Bombay.Copy !req
805. L'm not staying.
Then go to Bombay.Copy !req
806. See who we get it from now?
The cold part is
they got a point.Copy !req
807. These women are running us.
We not running them.Copy !req
808. Do you see how expensive
this shit is?Copy !req
809. Singh,
you got anything cheaper?Copy !req
810. Rushon.Copy !req
811. Come up here, boy.Copy !req
812. Damn. Judge Peabody.Copy !req
813. He go to my mother's church.
He a Holy Roller too.Copy !req
814. Hey, judge.Copy !req
815. Rushon, what you doing out?Copy !req
816. We just came to
get a sandwich.Copy !req
817. Ain't nothing out this late
but the devil...Copy !req
818. and the devil's helper.
- Hey, judge.Copy !req
819. You want that GLAD Wrap?Copy !req
820. Wrap at 2 in the morning?Copy !req
821. Looks like you plan on eating
more than a sandwich.Copy !req
822. Your mother know
what you're doing?Copy !req
823. Look here, son.
Well, she...Copy !req
824. It's bad enough you
plan to fornicate.Copy !req
825. Don't compound
the crime by lying.Copy !req
826. Lies are the oil
that grease the track.
One-way to "desolution."Copy !req
827. Now, I know...Copy !req
828. what condoms and GLAD Wrap,
it has its place...Copy !req
829. in
the pantheon of safe sex.Copy !req
830. There's only one way
to be totally safe...Copy !req
831. and that's
abstinence and purity.Copy !req
832. And sexual frustration.Copy !req
833. I know how you all feel.Copy !req
834. When that furry temptress
seems like she's
calling your name.Copy !req
835. She say, " Come on, Rushon!
Get some! Put your hand on it!Copy !req
836. You want some more?
Rub it on in there.Copy !req
837. You want me to rub it?
Bite me.Copy !req
838. Suck it, you filthy..."
You know,
and things like that.Copy !req
839. You know?Copy !req
840. Man, you got my nipples hard.Copy !req
841. Watch how you talk to me.Copy !req
842. L'm sorry.Copy !req
843. L'm sorry for you.Copy !req
844. L'm trying to help you.Copy !req
845. That's where you
gotta be strong.Copy !req
846. You have to take a pledge.Copy !req
847. You say, " I swear on the seal
of this great
state of New York...Copy !req
848. that I would never..."
- Say, judge,
we gonna do this or what?Copy !req
849. Yes.
Yes, l'II be right out, miss.Copy !req
850. L'II be right out.Copy !req
851. That's what l'm talking about.Copy !req
852. So remember what I said...Copy !req
853. because I said it.Copy !req
854. And tell your
mother I say hello.Copy !req
855. You-all have a great evening.Copy !req
856. Judge,
you forgot your Goodyears.Copy !req
857. L'II come back and get it.
I have to take my clerk home.Copy !req
858. I told you I was coming out.
Didn't have to come in there.Copy !req
859. Look, man,
l'm a little low on cash.
Y'all got anything cheaper?Copy !req
860. That's the 300.
The 100 is back on the shelf.Copy !req
861. Come on, man.
We running out of time.Copy !req
862. I don't trust those boys.Copy !req
863. I think that that girl was
the judge's fuzzy temptress.Copy !req
864. What's the difference?
Furry temptress.Copy !req
865. What's the difference?
You don't know?Copy !req
866. We are talking.
Put the money in the bag.Copy !req
867. If furry is here
and fuzzy is here...Copy !req
868. Hey!Copy !req
869. I said,
put the money in the bag.Copy !req
870. Your customer.Copy !req
871. Listen,
you Pakistani piece of shit,
do what I say.Copy !req
872. Listen, you crack addict,
we're not Pakistani.
We are Punjabis.Copy !req
873. I could pass for Pakistani.Copy !req
874. Oh, shit,
Bunz, these motherfuckers
are getting jacked.Copy !req
875. As soon as he shoots them,
l'm gonna go get
some groceries.Copy !req
876. Ever use the left
side of your brain?Copy !req
877. All the time. Take these.Copy !req
878. Hey, let's clock
this motherfucker.Copy !req
879. Hurry up.
Give me the goddamn money.Copy !req
880. Call me a Pakistani.Copy !req
881. Oh, my, my, my, my, my.
Oh, my, my, my.Copy !req
882. And you wonder why
you're a floater.Copy !req
883. Are you out of
your fucking minds?Copy !req
884. Punk motherfucker.Copy !req
885. Bunz, you all right?Copy !req
886. I think I got a pickle
stuck in my ass.Copy !req
887. There we go.Copy !req
888. Tonight.Copy !req
889. I ain't coming back out here.Copy !req
890. That's the spirit. Bunz.Copy !req
891. What?Copy !req
892. Got a little
something in here.Copy !req
893. Man, you wacked.Copy !req
894. Straighten you out.Copy !req
895. Nikki, your man's home.Copy !req
896. I don't wanna hear it.Copy !req
897. L'm in the bathroom.
Why don't you get ready.Copy !req
898. I am ready, girl.
I been ready.Copy !req
899. Seven weeks ready. Shit.Copy !req
900. Hey, Nikki.Copy !req
901. This plastic
ain't easy to come by.Copy !req
902. You don't know
what I been through.Copy !req
903. But I think I finally got
this safe-sex thing down pat.Copy !req
904. You sure you know
what you're doing?Copy !req
905. Do I know what l'm doing?Copy !req
906. I know what l'm doing.Copy !req
907. Say you want some dental dam,
I got your dental dam.Copy !req
908. Build your ass the Hoover Dam,
that's what l'II do.Copy !req
909. L'II whack that ass tonight.
My turn to do what I want.Copy !req
910. You shut up before I wrap
your ass like a hot dog.Copy !req
911. Oh, my God. Rushon, Rushon.Copy !req
912. Sit up so you
can get some air.Copy !req
913. Sit up.Copy !req
914. Okay, okay, okay.Copy !req
915. You gotta breathe.
Let me help you.Copy !req
916. You are supposed to put this
around my pelvic area,
not your head.Copy !req
917. Sorry, babe. Let's do this.Copy !req
918. " Let's do this"?Copy !req
919. L'm fired up now.Copy !req
920. Rushon, you almost died.Copy !req
921. Oh,
my God, you are the only man
in this world I know...Copy !req
922. dumb enough
to do something like this.Copy !req
923. Help a brother out.Copy !req
924. Get him up!Copy !req
925. Sit him up.Copy !req
926. What?
Rushon, help me.Copy !req
927. Pop it!Copy !req
928. Motherfucker,
was you gonna waitCopy !req
929. for me to turn
into a butterfly?Copy !req
930. Deja vu.Copy !req
931. Would you lookie here.Copy !req
932. Oh, I been looking.Copy !req
933. You know, I told him
I was coming right back.Copy !req
934. Bunz, did you think
you were gonna
spoil or something?Copy !req
935. L've got some aluminium foil
over in the cabinet too.Copy !req
936. I don't wanna hit no woman,
but I tell you right now...Copy !req
937. When did this
become Def Comedy
Jam? Nikki, what is so funny?Copy !req
938. L'm sorry, baby.Copy !req
939. "L'm sorry,
baby."Ain't this a bitch.Copy !req
940. I ain't never
had to go throughCopy !req
941. this much shit to
get a piece of ass.Copy !req
942. They got you slipping,
you got me slipping. L'm out.Copy !req
943. You with me?Copy !req
944. L'm out. Come on.Copy !req
945. Rushon, where you going?Copy !req
946. L'm going home.Copy !req
947. It's about time you handled
your business like a man.Copy !req
948. I still got time to
make my booty call.Copy !req
949. Didn't I tell you about this
blind-date stuff?
Look at this shit.Copy !req
950. Let's get a cab
and get out of here.Copy !req
951. Smartest thing
you said all night.Copy !req
952. Don't look back.
Just keep walking.Copy !req
953. We almost got
shot over this shit.Copy !req
954. Shot?Copy !req
955. You heard him.
Shot. L'm out of here.Copy !req
956. Wait.
Let's go. Cabbie!Copy !req
957. Cabbie!Copy !req
958. Rushon, are you okay?Copy !req
959. L'm still breathing, ain't I?Copy !req
960. If you stay away
from GLAD Wrap.Copy !req
961. Lystie, come on.Copy !req
962. L'm gonna be right over here.Copy !req
963. Baby, I am so sorry.Copy !req
964. L'II make it up to you.
L'II do anything.
We can go upstairs.Copy !req
965. Damn.Copy !req
966. If you're
thinking about trying
to get in good with me...Copy !req
967. and kissing me
all on my fingers,
forget that.Copy !req
968. Forgotten.Copy !req
969. Cool.Copy !req
970. Can I get a damn cab?Copy !req
971. Damn!Copy !req
972. What does a brother have to do
to get a cab?
Rushon, help me out.Copy !req
973. You say something, Bunz?Copy !req
974. I see what's going on.Copy !req
975. Look like you
gonna get yours beforeCopy !req
976. sunrise.
I guess you won the bet.Copy !req
977. What bet?Copy !req
978. Bunz?Copy !req
979. Could you repeat the question?
I got a bum ear.Copy !req
980. Baby,
it's just a figure of speech,
that's all it is.Copy !req
981. Like,
"How much you wanna bet l'IICopy !req
982. be tapping that
ass before sunrise?"Copy !req
983. That kind of figure of speech,
Rushon?Copy !req
984. Did you have a bet going on?Copy !req
985. No.Copy !req
986. No.
No. No, no. No, no. Hell, no.
That would be degrading.Copy !req
987. Completely degrading.Copy !req
988. This was just
a harmless challenge.Copy !req
989. Challenge.
Exactly.Copy !req
990. Like between guys, we talking
about bitches and ho's and...Copy !req
991. Bunz.Copy !req
992. Baby, that's all right.
I got it.Copy !req
993. It's like a guy thing. Right?
Kind of like high-fiving?Copy !req
994. Right.Copy !req
995. Like a high-five.Copy !req
996. Lystie, did you hear that?
It's a guy thing.Copy !req
997. I heard.Copy !req
998. Us girls have our thing too.Copy !req
999. Except it's not a high-five.
It's a high-one.Copy !req
1000. And to you too.
Lystie, let's go.Copy !req
1001. Nikki, please...Copy !req
1002. Rushon, you bet on me.Copy !req
1003. Come on.
You gonna listen to Bunz?
Nikki, Bunz is crazy.Copy !req
1004. I would never do
something like...
Look...Copy !req
1005. Would you listen
to me, please?Copy !req
1006. L'm listening.Copy !req
1007. I fucked up.
I mean, a little bit.Copy !req
1008. Hey, look, hands. Hey, man,
l'm glad you stopped.Copy !req
1009. You no steal my car!
Look...Copy !req
1010. What's up with the gun?Copy !req
1011. You done fucked up now.
I ought to bust
your ass right here.Copy !req
1012. Sorry, I don't wanna cork you.Copy !req
1013. Shit!Copy !req
1014. I gotta get the hell out, man.
Shit is too crazy.Copy !req
1015. L'm gonna go back to Africa,
to the roots.Copy !req
1016. Let's take a bite
of the Big Apple.
The night is young.Copy !req
1017. The only place we're going
is the hospital...Copy !req
1018. to get you
stitched and cleaned up.
After that, we're going home.Copy !req
1019. This is only a flesh wound.
Look. See?Copy !req
1020. Them old-school
niggas could take,Copy !req
1021. like, four or five
bullets to the ass...Copy !req
1022. not even worried about
going to the hospital.Copy !req
1023. They don't make niggas
like they used to. Rock-hard.Copy !req
1024. I hurt my finger. Kiss it.Copy !req
1025. Nikki, I made a mistake, okay?
L'm sorry.Copy !req
1026. Welcome to another episode
of Slipping-Ass Brother.Copy !req
1027. Caller, you're on the line
from Alabama, what you think?Copy !req
1028. Does the young
buck in the backCopy !req
1029. know how to fetch
and roll over too?Copy !req
1030. Because he begs good as hell.Copy !req
1031. Oh,
yeah, that's right, Rushon.
Straighten up for your boy.Copy !req
1032. What will it take
for you to shut up?Copy !req
1033. It's funny you ask.Copy !req
1034. It's a misunderstanding.
It was a bet,
but it wasn't a bet.Copy !req
1035. Not now, Rushon.Copy !req
1036. Like I said,
it's a flesh wound.Copy !req
1037. We wanna make sure
it doesn't get infected.Copy !req
1038. Like I was saying,
no insurance.Copy !req
1039. Ain't this a shame.
We in the richest
country in the world...Copy !req
1040. the land of the brave,
the home of the beautiful...Copy !req
1041. and he can't
get his leg sewn up?Copy !req
1042. This is not
the time or the place.Copy !req
1043. It is the place.
It says "Emergency."Copy !req
1044. It doesn't say"
Emergency unlessCopy !req
1045. you ain't got no
insurance card."Copy !req
1046. Bunz.Copy !req
1047. Shut up.Copy !req
1048. I tell you what,
l'II go get you a parrot
to go with your peg leg.Copy !req
1049. Look, I got insurance.
I just don't
have my card on me.Copy !req
1050. No card, no cure.Copy !req
1051. I don't think you understand
the severity of
this situation.Copy !req
1052. This man has been shot.Copy !req
1053. I don't know
where you receivedCopy !req
1054. your education,
your training...Copy !req
1055. Lystie. I apologize...Copy !req
1056. for my friends.
It's been a long night.Copy !req
1057. L'm sure there's a procedure
to verify his insurance.Copy !req
1058. We filled out all the forms,
all the information
you need is here.Copy !req
1059. Like I said,
little Miss Fugee...Copy !req
1060. no card, no cure.Copy !req
1061. Look, bitch,
either you make the callCopy !req
1062. or l'm gonna come
across that desk...Copy !req
1063. and snatch
that horsehair wig
off your bald head.Copy !req
1064. I will stick this clipboard
so far up your...Copy !req
1065. Askins.Copy !req
1066. Looking for... Rushon Askins?Copy !req
1067. Nigga, are you Rushon?Copy !req
1068. Yeah,
Rushon Askins, right here.Copy !req
1069. That's what l'm asking.
Rushon Askins.Copy !req
1070. Fool, get your ass down.Copy !req
1071. Okay, listen. We've already
pre-admitted this patient.Copy !req
1072. Here's his insurance forms.Copy !req
1073. We need to get
him down to triage
because his wounds are severe.Copy !req
1074. Yes, Dr. Zevroloski.
But aren't you
the guy that...?Copy !req
1075. Yes, I am.
L'm very attracted to you.Copy !req
1076. These beautiful eyes,
those cheekbones, that smile.Copy !req
1077. And I love that
little moustache.Copy !req
1078. But do something
with the Chia Pet.Copy !req
1079. Listen. You and your mama have
to wait behind
the yellow line.Copy !req
1080. Yes, your motherfucking mama.
Mama?Copy !req
1081. He ain't saying I look old.Copy !req
1082. You sure you know
what you're doing?Copy !req
1083. I used to watch
ER all the timeCopy !req
1084. till they cut
the brother's part down.Copy !req
1085. Somebody died,
they gonna try to
blame it on him.Copy !req
1086. Nurse,
could you give me a hand?
My patient needs assistance.Copy !req
1087. Sure, doctor.
Could you roll him
over there, please?Copy !req
1088. You know, I think
it's just a flesh wound.Copy !req
1089. Please help me
get him in the bed.Copy !req
1090. Yeah, you do look frail.Copy !req
1091. Okay, get you right up here.Copy !req
1092. There we go.
What I wanna do is...Copy !req
1093. turn him around
so you can see him.Copy !req
1094. Now,
the vital signs seem to be...Copy !req
1095. okay. The forehead fever...Copy !req
1096. is stable.Copy !req
1097. Oh, look here. I got to run.Copy !req
1098. I got a 1 -Adam-12
right down the hall.Copy !req
1099. L'II leave you here with him.
You can handle this.Copy !req
1100. Sure, Dr. Zevroloski.Copy !req
1101. Well,
Zevroloski was my first name.Copy !req
1102. L'm part German,
part Jamaican.
Ger-maican.Copy !req
1103. Damn Caribbean
medical schools.Copy !req
1104. Doctor? Dr. Moore needs help
in Obstetrics.
She's having a baby.Copy !req
1105. It ain't mine.Copy !req
1106. No, it's her patient.Copy !req
1107. Well, let's get it on.
Is she naked?Copy !req
1108. It hurts good, doesn't it?Copy !req
1109. Here, l'm gonna give you
something for the pain.Copy !req
1110. All right.
It's gonna help you relax.Copy !req
1111. It might even make you drowsy.Copy !req
1112. But you're gonna feel
a whole lot better.Copy !req
1113. Nice.Copy !req
1114. Pleasant dreams.Copy !req
1115. So,
doctor, what's the problem?Copy !req
1116. My residency is
in Emergency Peds.Copy !req
1117. I have no
training in Obstetrics.Copy !req
1118. The patient is multigravida,
experiencing...Copy !req
1119. aggravated
lateral distension...Copy !req
1120. with a likelihood
of an oblique
inguinal hernia...Copy !req
1121. impacting the peritoneum
and the epigastric artery.Copy !req
1122. Ever go to Nell's
on ladies" night?
Because it's free before 10...Copy !req
1123. and everything like that.
Got a brand-new DJ.Copy !req
1124. Girl, don't worry about it.
Let me tell you
something about men.Copy !req
1125. They're only
good for one thing.Copy !req
1126. And most of the time,
they don't even do that right.Copy !req
1127. Talking all that mess
about how big they are...Copy !req
1128. how much
stamina they got...Copy !req
1129. talking all
that mess about,
"Whose is this?Copy !req
1130. Whose is this? Whose is this?"Copy !req
1131. You know what I tell them?
"You don't even know him."Copy !req
1132. But how they gonna bet on us
like we some dogs
at a race track?Copy !req
1133. Because they not human, baby.Copy !req
1134. They may seem like it.
We both eat and
breathe the same.Copy !req
1135. But look at
a brother like Bunz.
Does he act human?Copy !req
1136. But you just slept with Bunz.Copy !req
1137. Like I said...Copy !req
1138. they're only
good for one thing.
- Only good for one thing.Copy !req
1139. Yes, you got it.Copy !req
1140. L'II tell you another thing,
what you got to do
is flip the script.Copy !req
1141. Keep your freaky-deaky
happening on the DL.Copy !req
1142. Be like, "Yeah, that's right.
But it's mine. It's mine."Copy !req
1143. That's mine. Tear it up.
Yeah. Give it to me.Copy !req
1144. Yeah. What's my name?
What's my name?Copy !req
1145. We in a hospital.
Hospital. Chill out.Copy !req
1146. We in a hospital. All right.Copy !req
1147. All right.Copy !req
1148. Okay. Tear it up.Copy !req
1149. Contractions are
10 seconds apart.
Everything's great.Copy !req
1150. Everything's fine.
And, you know, you looking...Copy !req
1151. You looking pretty good.Copy !req
1152. What you in for, boy?Copy !req
1153. You lucky. I got bad pipes.Copy !req
1154. My balls is all congested.Copy !req
1155. What are they gonna do?Copy !req
1156. Un-congest them, I guess.Copy !req
1157. It says here,
"Testicular removal."Copy !req
1158. Un-congest them, my ass.Copy !req
1159. They're gonna
chop your balls off.Copy !req
1160. What?Copy !req
1161. Mr. Martin?Copy !req
1162. Where are you?Copy !req
1163. Mr. Martin...Copy !req
1164. where are you?Copy !req
1165. We are ready.Copy !req
1166. "Rushon." What a pretty name.Copy !req
1167. Martin, here you are.Copy !req
1168. Great evening.
Got any more planned?Copy !req
1169. Don't even start on me.Copy !req
1170. You don't want me
to start, darling.Copy !req
1171. What is that
supposed to mean?Copy !req
1172. What is that
supposed to mean?Copy !req
1173. We are in a hospital.Copy !req
1174. Of course you
don't recognize me.
L'm Dr. Zevroloski!Copy !req
1175. L'm in residency in Baltimore,
visiting doing research.Copy !req
1176. Hold it!Copy !req
1177. Someone stole my ID.Copy !req
1178. Zevroloski. Look it up.Copy !req
1179. I knew it.Copy !req
1180. You come with me.Copy !req
1181. We got somebody to find.Copy !req
1182. I know they're
in here somewhere.Copy !req
1183. No. This is a mistake.Copy !req
1184. Man, I swear to God.Copy !req
1185. We should just leave.Copy !req
1186. No, we find them
and then leave them.Copy !req
1187. What is wrong with you?Copy !req
1188. Relax.Copy !req
1189. This is a mistake.Copy !req
1190. Now, everyone gets
a little nervous...Copy !req
1191. about this procedure.Copy !req
1192. It's easy.
First we shave you...Copy !req
1193. then we snip
you and it's over.Copy !req
1194. There is life
after castration.Copy !req
1195. Let's go.Copy !req
1196. Well, the plumbing works.Copy !req
1197. Look, I gotta go.Copy !req
1198. Where's Rushon?Copy !req
1199. I don't know.Copy !req
1200. You lost Rushon?Copy !req
1201. I didn't lose him. I just...Copy !req
1202. Look,
I don't have time for this.
L'II go look for him.Copy !req
1203. You try to find him, please.
Girlfriend,
keep an eye on him.Copy !req
1204. All right, Mr. Martin,
we've already
started anaesthesia.Copy !req
1205. You haven't eaten
in the last 12 hours, right?Copy !req
1206. Just relax and start counting
backwards from 100.Copy !req
1207. Don't take my johnson.Copy !req
1208. Don't take...Copy !req
1209. All right,
people, he's out cold.
Let us tango.Copy !req
1210. Is he in there?Copy !req
1211. Thought I looked like a mama.Copy !req
1212. I like older women.Copy !req
1213. You trying to say I look old?Copy !req
1214. No, l'm saying you
like a fine wine.
You just aged.Copy !req
1215. Check in there.Copy !req
1216. Oh, snap. Chia Pet.Copy !req
1217. It's fine, it's fine. Stop.Copy !req
1218. All right, she's gone.
Let's go.Copy !req
1219. Yeah, let's go.Copy !req
1220. You probably ain't
even ready for this.Copy !req
1221. No, you ain't ready for this.Copy !req
1222. Wait a minute.
Here we go.Copy !req
1223. Why hasn't this
man been prepped?Copy !req
1224. It doesn't matter. We all make
mistakes.
L'II do it myself. Razor.Copy !req
1225. Who's your daddy?
Who's your daddy?Copy !req
1226. Who's your daddy?
Come up here, girl.Copy !req
1227. Bunz, wait. Look, look.
Somebody's in here.Copy !req
1228. That jack-o"-lantern fool
is dead to the world.Copy !req
1229. Come on,
girl, let's do this, now.Copy !req
1230. Come on.Copy !req
1231. Okay, now, come on.Copy !req
1232. I hope you ate your
corn flakes, baby,Copy !req
1233. because l'm gonna
go all night long.Copy !req
1234. Because I got stamina.Copy !req
1235. Wait. You got a condom, right?
No glove, no love.Copy !req
1236. Look,
I got a glove right here.Copy !req
1237. May not be big enough to fit
on this big paloosa...Copy !req
1238. but we'II do
the best we can.
There we go.Copy !req
1239. Are you ready?
Wait. Okay.Copy !req
1240. Line it up.Copy !req
1241. Oh, yes.Copy !req
1242. Don't go too fast, now.Copy !req
1243. Oh, shit.Copy !req
1244. No, you didn't.Copy !req
1245. I been holding
that one a long time.Copy !req
1246. That's just a flare, baby.Copy !req
1247. Damn, my crippled ass...Copy !req
1248. could've rolled
around in her coochie
longer than that.Copy !req
1249. He's been watching
us the whole time.
The whole three...Copy !req
1250. seconds.Copy !req
1251. I hope I didn't
wear you out, now.Copy !req
1252. You need a cigarette
or something to
bring you down?Copy !req
1253. Oh,
my God, what are you doing?Copy !req
1254. L'm removing a metastasised
testicular growth.Copy !req
1255. If you'II excuse me...Copy !req
1256. What? Don't touch his growth!Copy !req
1257. Get her out of here.Copy !req
1258. There's been a mistake!Copy !req
1259. He doesn't have insurance!Copy !req
1260. Fuck!Copy !req
1261. Get him down to County!
Goddamn stupid Admissions.Copy !req
1262. L'II be on the golf course.Copy !req
1263. Son of a bitch!Copy !req
1264. Hey, baby.Copy !req
1265. Hi, Rushon.Copy !req
1266. My leg... Oh, shit!Copy !req
1267. Don't worry,
everything's still there.Copy !req
1268. Almost.Copy !req
1269. Almost?
What you mean, "almost"?Copy !req
1270. Lay off the Magic Shave,
brother man.Copy !req
1271. Oh, my God, Nikki, no matter
what you do, don't tell Bunz.Copy !req
1272. Here we go again, worrying
about what Bunz
is gonna think.Copy !req
1273. Lord forbid you
get embarrassed
in front of Bunz.Copy !req
1274. That's what l'm
talking about, Rushon.Copy !req
1275. Nikki,
you mean everything to me,
but, come on, it's...Copy !req
1276. where a brother got
to draw the line.Copy !req
1277. And there comes a time where
a woman has got
to draw the line.Copy !req
1278. Nikki.Copy !req
1279. Rushon...Copy !req
1280. sun's up,
you already lost the bet,
what else?Copy !req
1281. Hurry up.
You definitely know how
to do that, Quick Draw.Copy !req
1282. Hey! What's up?Copy !req
1283. That's what l've been asking.Copy !req
1284. Mind your business.Copy !req
1285. Big Daddy-Haddy Not-No.Copy !req
1286. What's up, man?
What's up, boy?Copy !req
1287. Looking good.
They stitched you up?Copy !req
1288. Your boy here,
don't sweat a thing.Copy !req
1289. You took care of me, boy.Copy !req
1290. Now that your boy is here,
l'm sure that you'II be fine.Copy !req
1291. Me and Lystie are leaving.
Come on.Copy !req
1292. Nikki.Copy !req
1293. Forget them tricks.
Let's roll.Copy !req
1294. Nik... Nikki.Copy !req
1295. What do I gotta
do to prove thatCopy !req
1296. I don't give
a fuck what Bunz thinks?Copy !req
1297. What is this?
Sorry, man.Copy !req
1298. Kick a Brother in
the Ding-Ding Day?Copy !req
1299. The proof is in the doing,
not the saying.Copy !req
1300. It's getting late.
We're going home.Copy !req
1301. All right, fuck it!Copy !req
1302. Bunz.Copy !req
1303. Hey, dog, what you doing?
I don't wanna
know you like this.Copy !req
1304. Rushon.Copy !req
1305. You do look
younger with your beard
all cut off and everything.Copy !req
1306. "Not only am I a client,
but l'm also the president."Copy !req
1307. Looks like
a popcorn shrimp, man.Copy !req
1308. Is that the best you can do?
Come on.Copy !req
1309. Looks like a doorstop.Copy !req
1310. And you gonna tell
everybody we knowCopy !req
1311. and embarrass
the hell out of me, right?Copy !req
1312. I got to. If I pull that,
would you get stronger?Copy !req
1313. There you go, brother.Copy !req
1314. You got a tight little ass.
Ass so tight...Copy !req
1315. you could
squeeze a piece of coal
and shit a diamond.Copy !req
1316. Look at you, boy.Copy !req
1317. Did you see
what was going on?Copy !req
1318. You need to stop joning,
Speedy.Copy !req
1319. We need to really keep that
on the down low.Copy !req
1320. I been going
through counselling.Copy !req
1321. I wanted to talk
to you about it.Copy !req
1322. You didn't give me
a chance to reach
my climacticness.Copy !req
1323. You just got excited, right?Copy !req
1324. Yeah. I got excited.Copy !req
1325. Step over to this
side of the line
or what?Copy !req
1326. And what's over there for me?Copy !req
1327. I love you over here.Copy !req
1328. Look what they doing.Copy !req
1329. Ready to go with me?
Wanna go home?Copy !req
1330. My apartment.Copy !req
1331. You with me?Copy !req
1332. You sure?
Watch it, now.Copy !req
1333. Can't touch.
Can't touch the pork chop.Copy !req
1334. Can't touch it.
It'II bite you.Copy !req
1335. That normally
doesn't happen to me,
but I had an accident.Copy !req
1336. A cat jumped in my
lap and scratched
the left side of my shit.Copy !req
1337. So on the left side,
l'm not functional.
I gotta hit it to the right.Copy !req
1338. You could learn
a lot from him.Copy !req
1339. But I got this sports cream.Copy !req
1340. I put it on and
I am ready to go,
you know?Copy !req
1341. Nikki, I am glad
you made me wait seven weeks.Copy !req
1342. Do you think they
used a razor or oneCopy !req
1343. of those
hair-removal creams on you?Copy !req
1344. Razor.Copy !req
1345. You sure you know
what you're doing?Copy !req
1346. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
1347. Where is Killa?Copy !req
1348. L'm sure Killa's
around somewhere.Copy !req
1349. See?
He's not even bothering us.Copy !req
1350. I told you you
two would hit it off
and bond together.Copy !req
1351. Me and Killa have come
to an understanding.Copy !req
1352. I read this is
supposed to be bad
for your kidneys.Copy !req
1353. Unless you're
a professional...Copy !req
1354. you shouldn't
go around like this.
Careful. Tendonitis.Copy !req
1355. Let's get this party started.Copy !req
1356. Be gentle.Copy !req