1. In the movies, Dracula wears a cape...Copy !req
2. and some old English guy
always manages to save the day...Copy !req
3. at the last minute
with crosses and holy water.Copy !req
4. But everybody knows
the movies are full of shit.Copy !req
5. The truth is it started with Blade,
and it ended with him.Copy !req
6. The rest of us
were just along for the ride.Copy !req
7. What's this chicken scratch?Copy !req
8. It's cuneiform.Copy !req
9. It's about 4000 years old.Copy !req
10. - So why here?
- Because this is the cradle of civilization.Copy !req
11. He would have been comfortable here.Copy !req
12. I don't know, Dan.
This seems like another dead end.Copy !req
13. - There's something beneath us.
You find a watch?Copy !req
14. Is it a body?Copy !req
15. Guys?Copy !req
16. Go.Copy !req
17. What the fuck? Motherfucker!Copy !req
18. Tonight, Dr. Edgar Vance,
forensic psychiatrist...Copy !req
19. and author of the New York TimesCopy !req
20. Human Health:
The Whole Being Breakthrough.Copy !req
21. Also with us, Martin Vreede,
chief of police.Copy !req
22. They'll be here for the next hour,
and they'll be taking your calls...Copy !req
23. next on Bentley Tittle Live.Copy !req
24. Okay, Dr. Vance, you are
a psychiatrist and a biochemist...Copy !req
25. isn't that true?Copy !req
26. Yes, uh, Bentley, I am both.Copy !req
27. And it's for a reason. I have always believed
that true health can only be achieved...Copy !req
28. if we reconcile the body and the mind.Copy !req
29. And, of course, in order to do that,
we have to get rid of a lot of old notions.Copy !req
30. Okay, and how does that fit in
with vampires?Copy !req
31. Uh, in the case of vampires, we're dealing
with creatures that are the repositories...Copy !req
32. of some of our most taboo thoughts.Copy !req
33. Okay.
Predatory rage.Copy !req
34. Yeah.
- Sexual sadism.Copy !req
35. - Sexual?
Sexual sadism.Copy !req
36. These are very scary subjects for people
to own up to, and they're right inside.Copy !req
37. So, what you're saying is
we pass the buck onto someone else.Copy !req
38. - You bet we do.
- And vampires...?Copy !req
39. Well, for instance,
there's a hereditary blood disease.Copy !req
40. I talk about it in my book,
it's called porphyria.Copy !req
41. And the symptoms of this disease are
remarkably similar to classic vampire traits.Copy !req
42. The people who suffer
from this disease are anemic.Copy !req
43. They become intolerant to sunlight.
They can't handle garlic.Copy !req
44. Garlic? Chief Vreede, okay,
what's your take on all these rumors...Copy !req
45. we've been hearing about vampires?
Vampires. Vampires! What?Copy !req
46. The only vampires I'm worried about are
the ones passing the bar exam. Ha-ha-ha.Copy !req
47. Ahem.Copy !req
48. Seriously though, if vampires existed, don't
you think we would've found them by now?Copy !req
49. The truth is, our streets
have never been safer.Copy !req
50. Homicides, assaults, violent crime
is down across the board.Copy !req
51. People wanna be concerned...Copy !req
52. they should focus in on characters
like this Blade criminal.Copy !req
53. That's the guy I wanna hear about.Copy !req
54. I wanna hear about this character Blade.
What about him?Copy !req
55. He's a sociopath
that we've been pursuing.Copy !req
56. Blade is a troubled individual.Copy !req
57. I understand that he is
under the impression...Copy !req
58. that there is a vast conspiracy
of vampires.Copy !req
59. Heh, heh. Yeah.Copy !req
60. You've got to look at the psychiatric
underpinnings of a belief like that.Copy !req
61. Odds are, he believes that he is out there
slaying monsters.Copy !req
62. Mm-hm.
But what he's really doing...Copy !req
63. is trying to kill aspects of himself.Copy !req
64. I'm on the Stonebridge overpass.Copy !req
65. Got it. Heading westbound.
I'm just beneath you.Copy !req
66. Go.Copy !req
67. Come on!Copy !req
68. I got him. Pull!Copy !req
69. You all right, man?Copy !req
70. He's got a gun!Copy !req
71. Oh, my God!
Aah!Copy !req
72. Staked you with silver.Copy !req
73. Why aren't you ash?Copy !req
74. Why aren't you smarter?Copy !req
75. Not a vampire, dumb shit!Copy !req
76. Set your sorry ass up.Copy !req
77. Hm.Copy !req
78. Damn.Copy !req
79. Oh, Blade.Copy !req
80. What the fuck happened tonight?Copy !req
81. How should I know?Copy !req
82. He was human.Copy !req
83. You're getting reckless, Blade.
Killing vampires is clean.Copy !req
84. They ash, don't leave
any evidence behind.Copy !req
85. Killing humans is messy.Copy !req
86. You better hope nobody lD'd you.Copy !req
87. This worked really good.Copy !req
88. - What's this?
- A new delivery system for your serum.Copy !req
89. It's an effervescent inhaler.Copy !req
90. Just bite down on the mouth guard.Copy !req
91. Delivery's automatic.Copy !req
92. Some friends of mine made it.Copy !req
93. Hm. Friends?Copy !req
94. Yeah. You remember those?Copy !req
95. It was horrible. The one car crashed...Copy !req
96. then the guy in the coat
shot the other guy.Copy !req
97. - It looked like there was a lot of blood.
- Thank you.Copy !req
98. That was just a taste
of the mayhem that occurred...Copy !req
99. during tonight's brazen shootout
that left at least four people dead.Copy !req
100. Now, apparently, an anonymous citizen
captured the whole event on video.Copy !req
101. Hey, Ray. Hey, we got a lead.Copy !req
102. Let's catch a plane, Wilson.Copy !req
103. Time to take these cowboys down.Copy !req
104. That's what I'm talking about.Copy !req
105. What's he been doing?Copy !req
106. Fuck-all. Just feeding.Copy !req
107. Been through five of them so far.Copy !req
108. You think we have enough security?Copy !req
109. We didn't capture him,
he allowed us to take him in.Copy !req
110. You understand? I'm gonna go in.Copy !req
111. You shouldn't have woken me.Copy !req
112. We had to.Copy !req
113. Your blood, your sacrament,
can set us free now.Copy !req
114. What makes you think I care?Copy !req
115. Your people need you.Copy !req
116. My people?Copy !req
117. You're nothing but shadows
of your former selves.Copy !req
118. Look how far you have fallen.Copy !req
119. The world's changed since your time.Copy !req
120. The humans have a new hunter.Copy !req
121. Blade.Copy !req
122. And you'd like me to kill him,
wouldn't you?Copy !req
123. Yes.Copy !req
124. You can't fight the curseCopy !req
125. You can't call the doctorCopy !req
126. With the thirsty love guzzlerCopy !req
127. From the dark side, baby
Don't be afraidCopy !req
128. You can't fight the thirstCopy !req
129. Subject is heading west.Copy !req
130. Got him.Copy !req
131. Congratulations. You're famous.Copy !req
132. Somebody nailed us.Copy !req
133. Your face is all over the papers
and television.Copy !req
134. Media's eating it up.Copy !req
135. - Like I care.
- Well, you should.Copy !req
136. Something like this,
taking out a human...Copy !req
137. as far as the rest of the world
is concerned...Copy !req
138. you're public enemy number one.Copy !req
139. Didn't know this was
a popularity contest.Copy !req
140. Damn it, Blade,
don't you see what they're doing?Copy !req
141. They're waging
a goddamn P.R. campaign.Copy !req
142. Now it's not just vampires
we gotta worry about...Copy !req
143. we're gonna have to take on
the rest of the world too.Copy !req
144. You worry too much, old man.Copy !req
145. It's why we're still alive, goddamn it.Copy !req
146. I've been doing this
since before you were born, Blade.Copy !req
147. You're like a son to me.Copy !req
148. I'm sorry I got old on you.Copy !req
149. I see you alone,
surrounded by enemies.Copy !req
150. And it breaks my heart.Copy !req
151. We can't win this war alone.Copy !req
152. Look at it. He just gave me the evil eye.
Come on, man. What about that guy?Copy !req
153. - Prostitute, baby. Whoo-hoo!
- Come on! Quit fucking around!Copy !req
154. I'm hungry and I want to eat somebody.Copy !req
155. - What about him?
- No fatties. They taste like Cheetos.Copy !req
156. I don't know. I like him.Copy !req
157. Wait. What about that?
Shrunken apple-headed bitch.Copy !req
158. That fucking sorry ass over there.Copy !req
159. Fucking blow me, man!
Just pick one already. Jesus Christ!Copy !req
160. Oh, got it! Got it!Copy !req
161. Baby on board.Copy !req
162. Oh, looks like we got ourselves
a combo meal!Copy !req
163. Chickie, chickie, chickie.Copy !req
164. Oh, yeah, baby!Copy !req
165. What's for dinner?Copy !req
166. Heh, heh. Hey, pretty lady.Copy !req
167. No! No!Copy !req
168. No!Copy !req
169. Scream if this hurts, chica.Copy !req
170. - Ha, ha, ha!
- Aah!Copy !req
171. "Fuck you"?Copy !req
172. Garlic!Copy !req
173. Come on!Copy !req
174. Scream if this hurts, chica.Copy !req
175. What is it?Copy !req
176. What you were worried about.Copy !req
177. Let's go, let's go!Copy !req
178. Shoot to kill!Copy !req
179. Move a finger, and you're dead.Copy !req
180. How's about this one?Copy !req
181. He's got something in his hand!Copy !req
182. Get out, Blade!Copy !req
183. Shit!Copy !req
184. What's going on in there?Copy !req
185. Somebody talk to me!Copy !req
186. Hold it right there!Copy !req
187. Don't shoot, don't shoot.Copy !req
188. Rise and shine, sleepyhead.Copy !req
189. Special agents Ray Cumberland,
Wilson Hale. FBI.Copy !req
190. We've been tracking you a long time.Copy !req
191. Whistler.Copy !req
192. Dead.Copy !req
193. Just like all your victims.Copy !req
194. How many people
have you killed, Blade?Copy !req
195. Thirty? Forty? Fifty?Copy !req
196. 1 1 82.Copy !req
197. But they were all familiars.Copy !req
198. People who work with them.Copy !req
199. Oh. And by "them,"
you mean vampires, right?Copy !req
200. So how do you kill these bloodsuckers,
tough guy?Copy !req
201. Maybe you can give us some pointers.Copy !req
202. - You can stake them, right?
- What about sunlight?Copy !req
203. - They ain't feeling sunlight right?
- What about crosses? Do they still work?Copy !req
204. - In this day and age?
- I don't know, Ray.Copy !req
205. What if Mr. Homey Vampire's like Jewish?Copy !req
206. - Ha, ha. That's a good point.
- Heh, heh.Copy !req
207. And what about garlic?
Does that work on Hindu vampires?Copy !req
208. Or do you need like
saffron or some shit?Copy !req
209. That was quick.
- Thank you.Copy !req
210. You can keep doing your song and dance
as long as you want, Blade.Copy !req
211. It's not gonna play.Copy !req
212. We know what you are.Copy !req
213. You're a stone-cold killer.Copy !req
214. And you're sick as fuck.Copy !req
215. Let's leave the diagnosis
to the professionals.Copy !req
216. Hello, Blade.Copy !req
217. My name is Dr. Vance.Copy !req
218. I've been charged with giving you
a psychiatric evaluation.Copy !req
219. Gentlemen, would you mind giving us
just a couple of minutes alone?Copy !req
220. He's all yours.Copy !req
221. I know you must find this
very frightening...Copy !req
222. but I want you to know
that I'm here to help.Copy !req
223. And in order for me to do that...Copy !req
224. I'm gonna have to ask you
a couple of questions.Copy !req
225. Okay?Copy !req
226. Heh. You know, Blade, the darnedest thing.
I was signing in at Security...Copy !req
227. and couldn't remember the date.Copy !req
228. Do you know what day it is?Copy !req
229. How about the president?Copy !req
230. You know who that is?Copy !req
231. Who's in the White House right now?Copy !req
232. An asshole.Copy !req
233. I think somebody here
wants to talk about vampires.Copy !req
234. Vampires.Copy !req
235. For everyone else, it's kind of silly.Copy !req
236. I had a set of wax teeth
when I was 7 years old.Copy !req
237. It was fun.Copy !req
238. I could be somebody else.Copy !req
239. But I wanna hear you
talk about vampires.Copy !req
240. What can you tell me about them?Copy !req
241. They exist.Copy !req
242. Are you one of them?Copy !req
243. Sometimes the scariest monster of all...Copy !req
244. is the one in the mirror.Copy !req
245. Tell me about blood.Copy !req
246. When you drink blood...Copy !req
247. do you ever feel
sexually aroused?Copy !req
248. It just strikes me that
this business of vampirism...Copy !req
249. has a very strong element
of sexual confusion.Copy !req
250. Nuzzling into someone's neck.Copy !req
251. A nocturnal visit...Copy !req
252. with promises of delicious
physical intimacy.Copy !req
253. The very sweet taste of saliva...Copy !req
254. mixed with skin.Copy !req
255. Oh. Sounds good to me.Copy !req
256. But where's it come from?Copy !req
257. That's what I wanna know.Copy !req
258. And I'm starting to wonder what your
relationship with your mother was like.Copy !req
259. Were the two of you very close?Copy !req
260. He's psychotic.Copy !req
261. - No shit.
- For his safety and for the public's...Copy !req
262. I'm recommending he be transferred
to County Psychiatric—Copy !req
263. Fuck that! That man is my prisoner.Copy !req
264. He's wanted in connection
with a laundry list of crimes.Copy !req
265. Hold on, gentlemen.
We're in my jurisdiction now.Copy !req
266. Got a problem with that,
you talk to the local magistrate.Copy !req
267. That man is my prisoner!
Don't fuck with my thing!Copy !req
268. There's a team from the hospital
effecting the transfer immediately.Copy !req
269. You're supposed to be working
with us, chief.Copy !req
270. Not this time.Copy !req
271. This is just a little something
to keep you compliant.Copy !req
272. The usual dose for this sort of thing
is 200, 300 milligrams...Copy !req
273. but I think with a big,
strapping hybrid like yourself...Copy !req
274. I'll kick it up to a couple thousand.Copy !req
275. You don't have a problem
with needles, do you?Copy !req
276. There.Copy !req
277. That wasn't so bad, was it?Copy !req
278. Ooh. You're weak.Copy !req
279. In need of your serum.Copy !req
280. That must be a bad feeling.Copy !req
281. I mean, who would've imagined...Copy !req
282. that a mere human like me
could have overpowered you.Copy !req
283. You're one of them.Copy !req
284. A familiar.Copy !req
285. Going on five years now.Copy !req
286. It's the endgame, Blade.Copy !req
287. All their plans are coming to fruition.Copy !req
288. Why don't you just sit back
and enjoy the show?Copy !req
289. I hate familiars.Copy !req
290. It's why we're still alive, goddamn it.Copy !req
291. You're like a son to me.Copy !req
292. I'm sorry I got old on you.Copy !req
293. I see you alone,
surrounded by enemies.Copy !req
294. It breaks my heart.Copy !req
295. Hi, Blade.Copy !req
296. So glad to finally meet you.Copy !req
297. I am such a fan.Copy !req
298. I like your tattoos.Copy !req
299. Do they mean anything?Copy !req
300. Stupid.Copy !req
301. Are you okay?Copy !req
302. Are you tired?Copy !req
303. You're weak.Copy !req
304. We moved the humans around.Copy !req
305. Like pawns.Copy !req
306. We used them...Copy !req
307. to flush you out.Copy !req
308. You're not so big.Copy !req
309. You're all alone, Blade.Copy !req
310. No one's gonna help you now.Copy !req
311. - Evening, ladies.
- Hannibal King!Copy !req
312. Wake up. This is your rescue.Copy !req
313. Go!Copy !req
314. Freeze!Copy !req
315. Whistler!Copy !req
316. This way!Copy !req
317. Blade! You're dead!Copy !req
318. Get down!Copy !req
319. Blade.Copy !req
320. Hey, hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa.Copy !req
321. Where are you going?
Where the fuck is he going?Copy !req
322. This is supposed to be a rescue!Copy !req
323. Get back, get back!Copy !req
324. - We're pinned down.
- I can't shoot around corners.Copy !req
325. I can.Copy !req
326. Okay. We're fucked.Copy !req
327. We're fine.Copy !req
328. Forgot my sword.Copy !req
329. We are soldiers, after allCopy !req
330. Down by honor we won't fall
After allCopy !req
331. Whoo!Copy !req
332. Come on!Copy !req
333. Comin' out the back endCopy !req
334. Dead at you
He throwin' that hot lead at youCopy !req
335. Swang affiliate, Xo sip, a gold getterCopy !req
336. With the rest together
I'm a cold killerCopy !req
337. It's "Me Against the World" like 2PacCopy !req
338. And like Biggie
I'm "Ready to Die" for what you gotCopy !req
339. Abby.Copy !req
340. We got him.Copy !req
341. We'll be there soon.Copy !req
342. Who the hell are you people?Copy !req
343. Well, my name is Hannibal King.Copy !req
344. And this little hellion right here
is Abigail.Copy !req
345. Whistler's daughter.Copy !req
346. I thought the vampires
killed Whistler's family.Copy !req
347. They did.
I was born later out of wedlock.Copy !req
348. When I came of age, I tracked my dad
down, and I told him I wanted in.Copy !req
349. Been doing it ever since.Copy !req
350. Welcome to the honeycomb hideout.Copy !req
351. How do you bankroll this operation?Copy !req
352. I date a lot of older men.Copy !req
353. Come on, man, I'm joking.Copy !req
354. You met Dex.Copy !req
355. This is Hedges.Copy !req
356. Sommerfield. She's the one who built
that new serum inhaler of yours.Copy !req
357. That runt you saw earlier,
that was Sommerfield's daughter. Zoe.Copy !req
358. We call ourselves the Nightstalkers.Copy !req
359. Hm. Sounds like rejects
from a Saturday morning cartoon.Copy !req
360. We were gonna go with the Care Bears,
but that was taken.Copy !req
361. - How many of you are there?
- There's enough.Copy !req
362. We operate in sleeper cells.Copy !req
363. When one goes down, another cell
activates to pick up the slack.Copy !req
364. Consider us your reinforcements.Copy !req
365. What, you amateurs
are supposed to be helping me?Copy !req
366. Heh. You?Copy !req
367. Look at you.Copy !req
368. You're kids.Copy !req
369. You're not ready to roll with this.Copy !req
370. I mean, look at the way you're dressed.Copy !req
371. What, that's supposed to be tactical?Copy !req
372. What is this? What is that?
"Fuck you." It's a joke, huh?Copy !req
373. What the fuck is wrong with y'all?
Y'all think this is a joke?Copy !req
374. - You think this is a fucking sitcom?
- Okay, first off, that's just rude.Copy !req
375. Second, I'm pretty sure
we saved your ass back there.Copy !req
376. Mm. I'm impressed.Copy !req
377. Look, Blade, my father meant
for us to help you.Copy !req
378. Like it or not, we are all you got.Copy !req
379. What the hell makes you think
you know about hunting vampires?Copy !req
380. Well, here's for starters.Copy !req
381. I used to be one.Copy !req
382. Do I pass the audition?Copy !req
383. Rookies.Copy !req
384. Fucking Hannibal King!Copy !req
385. I should've ripped his bleeding heart out
when I had the chance!Copy !req
386. We had Blade.Copy !req
387. We had him!Copy !req
388. And don't tell me
"l told you so," Asher.Copy !req
389. What's wrong, half-pint?
You need a timeout?Copy !req
390. Blow me.Copy !req
391. We got caught with our pants down.Copy !req
392. Pants down?Copy !req
393. They pretty much
fucking ass-raped us.Copy !req
394. Oh, you loved it.Copy !req
395. Has he been told?Copy !req
396. About your failure?Copy !req
397. Yes.Copy !req
398. Maybe it's time I joined the game.Copy !req
399. You know the kind of woman
that just screams trouble?Copy !req
400. You see her, and every warning bell
in your brain starts going off...Copy !req
401. but you still manage
to ask for her number.Copy !req
402. Well, that's all I ever hook up with.Copy !req
403. But this betty...Copy !req
404. whoa, she blew them all away
in the shitstorm sweepstakes.Copy !req
405. Her name is Danica Talos.Copy !req
406. You met her earlier.Copy !req
407. And unlike typical vampires,
her fangs are located in her vagina.Copy !req
408. Moving on.Copy !req
409. The man on her left
is her brother, Asher.Copy !req
410. And this walking diaper stain
is Jarko Grimwood.Copy !req
411. I picked Danica up in a bar...Copy !req
412. and spent the next five years
playing hide-and-go-suck...Copy !req
413. as her little vampire cabana boy.Copy !req
414. Eventually, Abigail found me.Copy !req
415. Sommerfield managed to treat me
with a cure, and now I kill them.Copy !req
416. And that's basically
turning a frown upside down.Copy !req
417. We need to pool our resources, Blade.Copy !req
418. "We"?Copy !req
419. Yeah, we.Copy !req
420. He's come back.Copy !req
421. Take a look at this.Copy !req
422. You gotta be kidding me.Copy !req
423. - Where'd you guys get this stuff?
I stole most of it.Copy !req
424. Danica had a huge collection.
He had stone work...Copy !req
425. iron work, weaponry, art.Copy !req
426. This stuff that shows up everywhere,
this symbol, this glyph.Copy !req
427. It's on everything in here.
He is real.Copy !req
428. You dig beneath all the myths,
all the layers of bullshit...Copy !req
429. that have cluttered our culture
for the last 500 years...Copy !req
430. and eventually, you're gonna strike
the truth.Copy !req
431. So the movies are true.Copy !req
432. The movies are just a comforting fairytale
compared to the real deal.Copy !req
433. Bram Stoker, he wrote a good yarn.Copy !req
434. But the events he described back in 1897—
God, that was just a tiny piece of the mosaic.Copy !req
435. The real Dracula, his origins,
date back much, much earlier than that.Copy !req
436. - How early?
- Try 6 or 7 thousand years.Copy !req
437. This is a piece of his armor.Copy !req
438. With it, we were able to extrapolate
a basic idea of what this fucker looked like.Copy !req
439. Check this out.Copy !req
440. Dracula's only one of the names
he's gone by.Copy !req
441. The Babylonians worshipped him
as Dagon, and now they call him Drake.Copy !req
442. if you believe in the legends,
he was born in ancient Sumeria.Copy !req
443. Nobody really knows the specifics
of his origin, but we do know this:Copy !req
444. He was the first of his kind.Copy !req
445. The patriarch of Hominus nocturna.Copy !req
446. He was born perfect.Copy !req
447. And just like the great white shark,
this guy has never had to evolve.Copy !req
448. Forget the movies, forget the books.Copy !req
449. There's no happy ending with this guy.Copy !req
450. He's been there,
moving behind the scenes...Copy !req
451. cutting a bloody fucking path
through the ages, until suddenly...Copy !req
452. just like that...Copy !req
453. he up and disappeared.Copy !req
454. And then we heard a rumor.Copy !req
455. The vampires were searching for him.Copy !req
456. Some say he'd been sleeping
through the ages...Copy !req
457. that he'd retreated from a world
he'd become disgusted with.Copy !req
458. And according to our information, they
found him in Iraq about six months ago.Copy !req
459. And he was pissed.Copy !req
460. In the window...Copy !req
461. You sell vampire merchandise?Copy !req
462. Uh, yeah. Look around.Copy !req
463. We might have a few things.Copy !req
464. We've got Dracula lunchboxes.Copy !req
465. Did you see those?Copy !req
466. There's bobbleheads, key chains.Copy !req
467. This is funny.Copy !req
468. The garlic gets me every time.Copy !req
469. We've got just about anything.Copy !req
470. Even vampire vibrators.Copy !req
471. Here, check this out.Copy !req
472. "Dracola." Makes you wanna cry,
doesn't it?Copy !req
473. Was there something special
you needed?Copy !req
474. Hey, guy.Copy !req
475. She's talking to you.Copy !req
476. What?Copy !req
477. You wanna kiss me, pretty boy?Copy !req
478. No!Copy !req
479. Why wake up Drake now?
- That's what we've been trying to figure out.Copy !req
480. When I was under the fang...Copy !req
481. there used to be talk about
some kind of vampire final solution.Copy !req
482. Never figured out why they'd wanna
destroy their food source.Copy !req
483. That makes no sense, right?Copy !req
484. They've always had plans
for the human race.Copy !req
485. It seems likely that whatever
they're cooking up...Copy !req
486. Drake's return is part of it.
Let's face it...Copy !req
487. we are fighting a losing battle here.Copy !req
488. So we kill a few hundred
of them a year. Big deal.Copy !req
489. There are thousands of them out there,
maybe tens of thousands.Copy !req
490. We need a new tactic.Copy !req
491. Like what?Copy !req
492. A biological weapon.Copy !req
493. For you sighted people...Copy !req
494. here's a little show-and-tell.Copy !req
495. For the last year, I've been working
with synthesized DNA...Copy !req
496. in order to create an artificial virus
targeted specifically at vampires.Copy !req
497. We're calling it DayStar.Copy !req
498. Think about it, Blade.Copy !req
499. We could wipe them all out
in one single move.Copy !req
500. So, what's been holding you back?Copy !req
501. The lethality in vampires is still spotty.Copy !req
502. The bottom line is, we need
a better strand of DNA to work with.Copy !req
503. We need Dracula's blood.Copy !req
504. Because Dracula is the progenitor
of the vampire race...Copy !req
505. his DNA is still pure.Copy !req
506. It hasn't been diluted by a hundred
generations of selective mutation.Copy !req
507. We get his blood, we can boost
DayStar's viral efficacy to 100 percent.Copy !req
508. All the vampires go bye-bye.Copy !req
509. So can we just go right ahead
and sign you up...Copy !req
510. for one of our secret
Nightstalker decoder rings?Copy !req
511. Oh. Uh...Copy !req
512. Holy shit. Um... Gentlemen and hottie...Copy !req
513. we have a wide assortment
of ass-kickery...Copy !req
514. for your viewing pleasure today.Copy !req
515. Electronic pistol.
Comes in a variety of tasty calibers.Copy !req
516. Explosive rounds.Copy !req
517. Yeah, but with a concentrated
burst of UV light...Copy !req
518. instead of your standard
hollow points.Copy !req
519. I call them sundogs.Copy !req
520. Hedges. Super Size me, sweetheart.Copy !req
521. This little peashooter,
it's a modified version...Copy !req
522. of the Army's Objective
lndividual Combat Weapon.Copy !req
523. Pick your poison: sundogs, stakes...Copy !req
524. heat-seeking mini rockets.Copy !req
525. Basically, whatever gets you hard,
this puppy will pump them out.Copy !req
526. Course, it doesn't have
the range of a sword, but...Copy !req
527. Oh, God. Over here, we—Copy !req
528. We call this the UV Arc.Copy !req
529. Whoa. Sorry. The two points are connected
by a powerful UV laser—Copy !req
530. - Hedges, I'll take it from here.
- Yes.Copy !req
531. This bad boy is half as hot as the sun.Copy !req
532. It can cut through vampires
like a knife through butter.Copy !req
533. We're still trying to sort out fact
from fiction when it comes to Dracula.Copy !req
534. Turning into mist? Kind of doubt it.Copy !req
535. General shape-shifting? Maybe.Copy !req
536. Not into a bat or a wolf
or anything like that...Copy !req
537. but another human,
with practice, could be possible.Copy !req
538. Because he wouldn't have
a traditional skeletal structure.Copy !req
539. Something more like a snake's,
with thousands of tiny bones—Copy !req
540. I have a— I have a question
about that, Hedges.Copy !req
541. Have you ever been laid?Copy !req
542. Many times.Copy !req
543. With ladies.Copy !req
544. Time for a little refresher.Copy !req
545. Weakest link in the vampire
chain of command...Copy !req
546. has always been their familiars.Copy !req
547. Since the vampires can't go
out in the daylight...Copy !req
548. they get the humans to do
all their dirty work.Copy !req
549. We bleed the wannabes...Copy !req
550. sooner or later,
they'll take us right to the real.Copy !req
551. I got you some new wheels.Copy !req
552. You take care of it, now.Copy !req
553. She's making playlists.Copy !req
554. She likes to listen to MP3s
when she hunts.Copy !req
555. It's like her own internal soundtrack,
you know?Copy !req
556. Dark-core, trip hop, whatever
kids are listening to these days.Copy !req
557. Me, I'm more of a David Hasselhoff fan,
you know?Copy !req
558. Eventually, you know,
your head is gonna pop off.Copy !req
559. Fuck! No, no! Please! Please!Copy !req
560. Who's your handler?Copy !req
561. I don't know my fucking handler.
I swear. I swear!Copy !req
562. Oh, shit! Please! Please! Aah!Copy !req
563. Oh, it's you.Copy !req
564. I'll take that.Copy !req
565. Come on. Let's go. Come on.Copy !req
566. Hello?Copy !req
567. Hello?Copy !req
568. Hello, this is Dr. Vance.
You paged me.Copy !req
569. Heh.Copy !req
570. It's for you. Yeah, go ahead.Copy !req
571. Hello?Copy !req
572. Aah!Copy !req
573. You know, at some point, you, uh—Copy !req
574. You might wanna consider
sitting down with somebody.Copy !req
575. You know? Have a little share time.Copy !req
576. Kick back. Get in touch with your
inner child. That sort of thing.Copy !req
577. Also, just a thought, but you might
wanna consider blinking once in a while.Copy !req
578. I'm sorry, l, uh...
I ate a lot of sugar today.Copy !req
579. Hey.Copy !req
580. You just can't walk in here like that.
Unh!Copy !req
581. Excuse me, sir.Copy !req
582. Don't do that.Copy !req
583. - Where's Vance?
- I'm sorry, you can't see Dr. Vance now.Copy !req
584. Sit.Copy !req
585. Can l, uh...? Can I help you?Copy !req
586. Remember me? Time for payback.Copy !req
587. All right, Vance,
what the hell do you know?Copy !req
588. Oh, Jesus. It's him.Copy !req
589. Abby, it's Drake!Copy !req
590. So you're the hunter they all fear.Copy !req
591. - I had a feeling about you.
- Just shoot him!Copy !req
592. Go ahead, Blade.Copy !req
593. Show me what you're made of.Copy !req
594. Oh, my God!Copy !req
595. He got my baby! Aah!Copy !req
596. No! My baby!Copy !req
597. Ah. Careful, Daywalker.Copy !req
598. I've been told about you...Copy !req
599. your weakness for humans.Copy !req
600. Why'd you kill Vance?Copy !req
601. He'd outlived his purpose.Copy !req
602. He died a good death.Copy !req
603. Quick, clean.Copy !req
604. I wouldn't know anything about that.Copy !req
605. You will.Copy !req
606. How are you able to survive in sunlight?Copy !req
607. Haven't you read Stoker's fable?Copy !req
608. I was the first of the vampires.Copy !req
609. I am unique.Copy !req
610. - So that's why they brought you back.
- Of course.Copy !req
611. They believe through me
they could become Daywalkers.Copy !req
612. Look at them down there.Copy !req
613. Scurrying around like insects.Copy !req
614. They don't know anything about honor
or living by the sword...Copy !req
615. not like you and I do.Copy !req
616. Do you think they could ever grasp
what it means to be immortal?Copy !req
617. You're not immortal.Copy !req
618. I must have heard hundreds of you
rodents make the same claim.Copy !req
619. Each one of them have tasted
the end of my sword.Copy !req
620. Perhaps I will too, then...Copy !req
621. but I think it is more likely,
the next time we meet...Copy !req
622. you fall before mine.Copy !req
623. Catch!Copy !req
624. Cootchie-coo.Copy !req
625. Did you see that guy?
We're gonna lose, man. We're gonna—Copy !req
626. Oh! God!Copy !req
627. We're gonna fucking lose!Copy !req
628. Okay.
Ugh.Copy !req
629. What did the one lesbian vampire
say to the other?Copy !req
630. - Shut up, King.
- See you in 28 days. Ha, ha!Copy !req
631. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. What—?
What is that? What are you doing?Copy !req
632. It's an elastic protein, okay?
It's gonna stop the hemorrhaging.Copy !req
633. Okay. Is it gonna hurt?Copy !req
634. Yeah, it's gonna sting a little.Copy !req
635. Really? Unh.Copy !req
636. Fuck me! Ow!Copy !req
637. I had a family once.Copy !req
638. Wife, two daughters.Copy !req
639. Then a drifter came calling
one evening.Copy !req
640. A vampire.Copy !req
641. He toyed with them first.Copy !req
642. Tried to make me decide
which order they'd die in.Copy !req
643. I've been doing this a long time.Copy !req
644. Since before you were born.Copy !req
645. I don't want this life for you, Abby.Copy !req
646. Hey, Blade.Copy !req
647. I got a question for you.Copy !req
648. Say we're successful.
Say we wipe out all the vampires.Copy !req
649. What then, huh?Copy !req
650. You ever ask yourself that?Copy !req
651. I mean, somehow, I don't picture you
teaching karate at the local Y.Copy !req
652. He hates me, doesn't he?Copy !req
653. Yeah.Copy !req
654. Why do you wear that symbol?Copy !req
655. Old habits.Copy !req
656. I was a good Catholic school girl.Copy !req
657. - Once.
- I was there when they crucified him.Copy !req
658. He died for their sins.Copy !req
659. Not mine.Copy !req
660. And what are your sins?Copy !req
661. Would you care to confess them?Copy !req
662. Take it off.Copy !req
663. Why?Copy !req
664. I will make you a better one.Copy !req
665. There's an old saying:Copy !req
666. "Kill one man, you're a murderer.Copy !req
667. Kill a million, a king.Copy !req
668. Kill them all...Copy !req
669. a God."Copy !req
670. Why do you do that?Copy !req
671. Because there's something bad
inside of me.Copy !req
672. This keeps it from getting out.Copy !req
673. Why can't you just be nice?Copy !req
674. Because the world isn't nice.Copy !req
675. I found where the vampires are working.Copy !req
676. Biomedica Enterprises.Copy !req
677. They've been buying up
all sorts of supplies.Copy !req
678. Check it out.Copy !req
679. Taq polymerase.Copy !req
680. Bone-marrow growth supplement.Copy !req
681. Genetic-sequencing enzymes.Copy !req
682. - Hm.
- You want a party favor?Copy !req
683. Lucky seven. Silver hollow points.Copy !req
684. Done.Copy !req
685. You wanted to see me?Copy !req
686. We've got trouble.Copy !req
687. Doing a little moonlighting, chief?Copy !req
688. Shit!Copy !req
689. What are you doing here?Copy !req
690. Talk.Copy !req
691. Spill it!Copy !req
692. You know what we're doing.Copy !req
693. What's inside?Copy !req
694. Now, what's behind door number one?Copy !req
695. I can't tell you. They— They'll kill me.Copy !req
696. Kill you? Motherfucker, I'll kill you.Copy !req
697. I'll just enjoy it better.Copy !req
698. You know the routine.Copy !req
699. Lights.Copy !req
700. God in heaven.Copy !req
701. What is this place?Copy !req
702. It's a blood-farming facility.Copy !req
703. Vampires decided that hunting humans
on a piecemeal basis was...Copy !req
704. too inefficient.Copy !req
705. Why kill your prey
when you can keep them alive?Copy !req
706. Under optimal conditions,
a donor can generate...Copy !req
707. anywhere from 50 to 100
pints of blood.Copy !req
708. Productive.Copy !req
709. Where do you get all these people?Copy !req
710. They got processing centers
in every major city.Copy !req
711. At any given time, there's what...Copy !req
712. 2, 3 million homeless
wandering around America?Copy !req
713. They just pull them in off the streets.Copy !req
714. Nobody cares about them.Copy !req
715. We're doing this country a service, really.Copy !req
716. Vampire final solution.Copy !req
717. Are they aware?Copy !req
718. Do they feel anything?Copy !req
719. They're in a chemical-induced coma.Copy !req
720. They're brain-dead.Copy !req
721. Look at this.Copy !req
722. This the future you want?Copy !req
723. Do you think that they have
a place for you in their future?Copy !req
724. We don't have a choice.Copy !req
725. They're going to win.
Can't you see that?Copy !req
726. He's come back!Copy !req
727. There's nothing stopping them now.Copy !req
728. There's me.Copy !req
729. Go.Copy !req
730. You got 20 seconds.Copy !req
731. Twenty.Copy !req
732. Shutdown password, what is it?Copy !req
733. Harvest.Copy !req
734. Put it in.Copy !req
735. Let's go.Copy !req
736. Where'd you go?
See? I turned my back on you.Copy !req
737. - You win.
- One more, one more.Copy !req
738. "Now, Nome King,
having never tried to be good...Copy !req
739. was very bad indeed.Copy !req
740. Having decided to conquer
the land of Oz...Copy !req
741. and to destroy Emerald City..."Copy !req
742. I get that paper and I'm chillin' on the lowCopy !req
743. All I need is more money, moreCopy !req
744. - This ain't no video game.
- This ain't no video game.Copy !req
745. Oh!Copy !req
746. Come on, now.Copy !req
747. Dude, you're dead.Copy !req
748. Mom, the lights are weird.Copy !req
749. What do you mean?Copy !req
750. They're going on and off.Copy !req
751. Guys?Copy !req
752. Zoe, I want you to go,
and I want you to hide, okay?Copy !req
753. Like we talked about. Go on.Copy !req
754. Zoe?Copy !req
755. Get out of here, Zoe!Copy !req
756. Hide! God dammit, Zoe!Copy !req
757. Something's not right.Copy !req
758. King!Copy !req
759. Zoe?Copy !req
760. Zoe.Copy !req
761. Zoe?Copy !req
762. Whistler.Copy !req
763. Use it.Copy !req
764. Back off, pooch.Copy !req
765. Jesus Christ!Copy !req
766. What the fuck?Copy !req
767. - Good dog.
- What the fuck?Copy !req
768. His name's Pac-Man.Copy !req
769. We've been porting the vampire gene
into other species. Experimenting.Copy !req
770. You made a goddamn
vampire Pomeranian?Copy !req
771. Yeah.Copy !req
772. Precious, isn't he?Copy !req
773. Well, that depends who you ask,
because clearly...Copy !req
774. this dog has a bigger dick than you.Copy !req
775. And when the fuck
did you see my dick, fuck-face?Copy !req
776. Ow!Copy !req
777. I was talking to her!Copy !req
778. Poor King.Copy !req
779. You look so distraught.Copy !req
780. - Unh!
- Give me that chair.Copy !req
781. You're tasting a little bland, lover.Copy !req
782. Are you getting enough
fatty acids in your diet?Copy !req
783. Have you tried lake trout?Copy !req
784. Mackerel?Copy !req
785. How about you take
a sugar-frosted fuck...Copy !req
786. off the end of my dick?Copy !req
787. And how about everyone here
not saying the word "dick" anymore?Copy !req
788. It provokes my envy.Copy !req
789. Tell us about Blade, King.Copy !req
790. What's this weapon
he's been planning?Copy !req
791. I can tell you two things.Copy !req
792. One...Copy !req
793. your hairdo is ridiculous.Copy !req
794. Two, I ate a lot of garlic,
and I just farted.Copy !req
795. Silent but deadly.Copy !req
796. Spit it out, you fucking fruitcake.Copy !req
797. All right! Fuck!
I'll tell you about the weapon.Copy !req
798. It's a new flavor-crystal formula.Copy !req
799. Twice the chocolatey goodness,
half the calories.Copy !req
800. Plus, it helps prevent
tooth decay. There.Copy !req
801. You're brave, King.Copy !req
802. I'll give you that.Copy !req
803. But underneath all that swagger...Copy !req
804. I know what you really fear.Copy !req
805. What would hurt you
more than anything else.Copy !req
806. You don't wanna go back
to being one of us, do you?Copy !req
807. I'm gonna bite you again, King.Copy !req
808. And I'm gonna leave you here
while you turn.Copy !req
809. I'm going to watch you day after day...Copy !req
810. as the thirst
keeps building and building.Copy !req
811. And then...Copy !req
812. when you can't stand it anymore...Copy !req
813. I'm gonna bring the little girl
in here...Copy !req
814. for you to feed on.Copy !req
815. Would you like that, King?Copy !req
816. Would you enjoy taking her life?Copy !req
817. Now we're getting somewhere, my pet.Copy !req
818. Are you all right?Copy !req
819. Yeah. I'll be fine.Copy !req
820. Don't let it turn inward.Copy !req
821. Ever since I can remember,
I've had this...Copy !req
822. I've had this knife...Copy !req
823. of sadness in my heart.Copy !req
824. And as long as it's there,
I'm strong and I'm untouchable.Copy !req
825. But the moment that I take it out...Copy !req
826. I'll just die.Copy !req
827. - He's one of ours.
My name is Caulder.Copy !req
828. I'll be your driver this evening.Copy !req
829. Sommerfield left you a video message.Copy !req
830. if you're watching this,
I'm already dead.Copy !req
831. if Zoe's alive, I want you to promise me
that you'll take care of her, okay?Copy !req
832. I've been reading her
the Oz books every night.Copy !req
833. We just started reading
The Emerald City of Oz.Copy !req
834. You know, the one
with the Nome King.Copy !req
835. I think I've managed to cultivate
a workable strain of the DayStar virus.Copy !req
836. As a precaution, I transmitted
the genetic sequence to Caulder...Copy !req
837. in case our main stock
was destroyed.Copy !req
838. In order for it
to achieve maximum lethality...Copy !req
839. you're gonna need to interfuse it
with Drake's blood.Copy !req
840. Now, if it works, every vampire
in the immediate vicinity...Copy !req
841. should die almost instantly.Copy !req
842. There's one other thing.Copy !req
843. Blade, you need to know...Copy !req
844. there's a chance the virus
could destroy you too.Copy !req
845. Because you're a hybrid...Copy !req
846. I'm not sure if your immune system
will be able to tolerate it.Copy !req
847. I'm sorry. We just didn't have
enough time to properly test it.Copy !req
848. So shall we take a look
at the plague arrow?Copy !req
849. I only had time to fabricate
a small amount of DayStar.Copy !req
850. However, I was able to outfit it...Copy !req
851. in a compressed-gas projectile...Copy !req
852. that can be shot from one
of the four-barrel rifles or a bow.Copy !req
853. Either way, you must be sure
that the shot counts.Copy !req
854. You will simply not have enough
for a second shot.Copy !req
855. Do you know who I am?Copy !req
856. You're the Nome King.Copy !req
857. Huh.Copy !req
858. The Nome King.Copy !req
859. How sweet.Copy !req
860. Tell me, child, do you want to die?Copy !req
861. I'm not afraid.Copy !req
862. I'll go to heaven.Copy !req
863. There is no heaven.Copy !req
864. No God, no angels.Copy !req
865. The only thing in your future
is nothingness.Copy !req
866. But what if you could change that?Copy !req
867. What if you could
remain a child forever?Copy !req
868. Wouldn't you like that?Copy !req
869. Wouldn't you accept that gift?Copy !req
870. My friends are coming to kill you.Copy !req
871. Gonna be sorry you did that.Copy !req
872. Why?Copy !req
873. Nobody's coming for you, King Shit.Copy !req
874. Sure they are.Copy !req
875. God.Copy !req
876. See, one of the things you fuckheads
need to know about us Nightstalkers...Copy !req
877. is that when you join our club, you get
all sorts of groovy little door prizes.Copy !req
878. And one of them is this nifty little tracking
node surgically implanted in your body.Copy !req
879. - Bullshit.
- Yeah.Copy !req
880. See, when one of us goes missing...Copy !req
881. the others,
they just dial up the satellite...Copy !req
882. which is in space.Copy !req
883. And then, presto...Copy !req
884. instant cavalry.Copy !req
885. You like that, huh?Copy !req
886. Go fuck your sister.Copy !req
887. Okay, King.Copy !req
888. Where is this tracking node of yours?Copy !req
889. It's in my left ass cheek.Copy !req
890. Fine.Copy !req
891. It's in my right ass cheek.Copy !req
892. Okay, I'm— Okay, seriously, now.Copy !req
893. It's in the meat of my butt,
just below the Hello Kitty tattoo.Copy !req
894. Seriously, just pull down
my tighty-whities and see for yourself.Copy !req
895. Enough! It's not funny anymore!Copy !req
896. No, it's not, you horse-humping bitch!Copy !req
897. But it will be a few seconds from now.Copy !req
898. That tickle that you're feeling
in the back of your throat right now...Copy !req
899. - Unh.
- ... that's atomized colloidal silver.Copy !req
900. It's being pumped through
the air-conditioning system...Copy !req
901. you cock-juggling thundercunt!Copy !req
902. Which means the fat lady
should be singing...Copy !req
903. right about now.Copy !req
904. Heh. This is awkward.Copy !req
905. Do you have a cell phone?Copy !req
906. Um...Copy !req
907. Little help here.Copy !req
908. - Are you all right?
- Yeah.Copy !req
909. - Where's Zoe?
- Drake's got her.Copy !req
910. Okay.Copy !req
911. Thank you.Copy !req
912. Brought your toys.Copy !req
913. Try to keep up.Copy !req
914. - Abby!
- Hey.Copy !req
915. You okay?Copy !req
916. Okay. Let's get you out of here.Copy !req
917. Watch out!Copy !req
918. Fuck me.Copy !req
919. Fuck me sideways.Copy !req
920. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
921. He's a cute little guy, aren't you?Copy !req
922. Good little puppies.Copy !req
923. Yeah, you're gonna stay.Copy !req
924. You stay.Copy !req
925. Oh. There's a pretty smile. Yeah.Copy !req
926. I'm going to, uh...Copy !req
927. Hey, dickface, you seen my dog?Copy !req
928. Have you tried the lobby?Copy !req
929. Thank you.Copy !req
930. Fuck...Copy !req
931. - Come on, King.
- ... this.Copy !req
932. Blade.Copy !req
933. Ready to die?Copy !req
934. I was born ready, motherfucker.Copy !req
935. "Motherfucker."Copy !req
936. I like that.Copy !req
937. Broke my arm.Copy !req
938. Are you ready to die, motherfucker?Copy !req
939. Give it up.Copy !req
940. Come on. Give it up, King.Copy !req
941. Give it up. Give it up.Copy !req
942. Give it up.Copy !req
943. Hang in there, kitten.Copy !req
944. I'll get help.Copy !req
945. Funny, isn't it?Copy !req
946. All this time, my people were trying
to create a new kind of vampire...Copy !req
947. when one already existed.Copy !req
948. I don't need to survive.Copy !req
949. The future of our race rests with you.Copy !req
950. You fought with honor.Copy !req
951. I respect that.Copy !req
952. Allow me a parting gift.Copy !req
953. But remember this:Copy !req
954. Sooner or later...Copy !req
955. the thirst always wins.Copy !req
956. And Blade?Copy !req
957. The virus didn't kill him.Copy !req
958. Because he was a hybrid,
his heart never stopped beating.Copy !req
959. It simply slowed down.Copy !req
960. And so he slept, waiting for the moment
he could walk the earth again.Copy !req