1. How did we end up here?
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2. This place is horrible.
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3. Smells like balls.
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4. We don't belong
in this shithole.
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5. Shit.
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6. Hey, Sam.
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7. Dad, what kind of—
Shut up!
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8. What kind of flowers
did you want?
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9. Alchemillas. Or something
that smells nice.
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10. Something soothing. It all
smells like fucking kimchi!
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11. That looks nice.
Anything but roses.
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12. I hate this job.
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13. Riggan,
everyone's set for 1-4.
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14. They're ready for you.
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15. Riggan,
they're ready for you.
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16. Mr. Thomson.
Steve.
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17. It's Daniel.
Okay.
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18. Oh, hey, buddy.
How you doing?
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19. Pretty good. Yeah, I'd be a lot
better if I could get, uh...
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20. Ralph to stop,
you know, acting.
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21. He'll be fine.
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22. And he was yelling, "I love
you, I love you, bitch!"
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23. What do you do
with a love like that?
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24. That's not love
and you know it.
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25. Why do you insist
on calling it love?
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26. Say what you want,
but I know what it was.
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27. What about you, Nick?
Does that sound like love?
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28. Sorry I'm late.
Sound like love...
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29. Look, I'm the wrong
person to ask.
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30. I only heard the man's
name mentioned in passing.
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31. I wouldn't know. You'd have
to know the particulars.
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32. I think you're saying
love is absolute.
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33. Yeah. The kind of love
I'm talking about is...
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34. The kind of love
I'm talking about,
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35. you don't try
and kill people.
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36. It was love, Mel.
To Eddie, it was.
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37. I don't care
what anyone says.
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38. He was ready
to die for it.
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39. Ask her what he did after
she left him.
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40. He shot himself in the mouth,
but he screwed that up, too.
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41. Poor Ed.
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42. Poor Ed, my ass!
The guy was dangerous!
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43. How did he screw up
shooting himself in the mouth?
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44. He used to carry this.22.
We lived like fugitives then.
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45. Ralph, Ralph, Ralph.
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46. Fugitives are scared,
you know?
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47. Fugitives are on the run.
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48. Can you give me more of that?
You know, fear?
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49. Great idea.
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50. We lived like
fugitives then.
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51. I never knew if he was going to
come out from behind a bush,
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52. or a car,
and just start shooting.
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53. The man was crazy!
He was capable of anything!
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54. Christ,
what a nightmare.
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55. He'd call me at
the hospital and say:
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56. "Son of a bitch,
your days are numbered!"
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57. Too much?
It's a little bit too much.
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58. I can tell, because you— I
just want to give you a range.
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59. Call 911!
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60. Is he breathing?
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61. Is blood coming
out of his ear?
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62. Where are you going?
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63. Did someone call 911?
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64. Do not move him!
Wait for an ambulance!
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65. Well, that's
a fucking lawsuit.
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66. Where are you going?
The understudy'll be here.
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67. Forget the understudy.
Cancel the first preview.
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68. But it's a full house!
We'd have to refund—
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69. Just do it.
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70. How's Ralph?
He'll be fine.
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71. Wait. Will you fucking wait?
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72. Jake, it would
have been a disaster.
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73. That guy's the worst actor
I've ever seen.
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74. Bleeding's the most honest
thing he's done so far.
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75. He's not that bad!
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76. Okay, he's fucking terrible.
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77. You have the press in your
dressing room in a few hours.
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78. I'll make something up.
I'll think of something, riff.
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79. Hold on.
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80. That wasn't an accident.
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81. What do you mean?
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82. I made it happen.
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83. Oh, okay.
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84. Are you drunk?
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85. Just find me an actor— a good actor.
Woody Harrelson!
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86. He's doing
the next Hunger Games.
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87. Um, Michael Fassbender.
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88. He's doing the prequel
to the X-Men prequel.
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89. How about, uh, Jeremy Renner?
Who?
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90. Jeremy Renner! He was nominated.
The Hurt Locker guy.
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91. He's an Avenger.
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92. Fuck! They put him in a cape, too?
I don't care.
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93. Just find me someone.
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94. Ralph will sue us. He will
sue us and he has a case.
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95. Just make it go away.
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96. Look, you're my attorney. You're my
producer. You're my best friend.
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97. Now go out there and do
what you were born to do.
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98. How do you suppose I do that?
How—
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99. Next, an exclusive
interview with Robert Downey, Jr...
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100. who's busy following up his
billion-dollar Iron Man franchise...
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101. with the equally successful
Avengers series.
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102. That clown doesn't
have half your talent...
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103. and he's making a fortune
in that Tin Man get-up.
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104. We were
the real thing, Riggan.
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105. We had it all.
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106. We gave it away.
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107. Breathing in.
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108. We handed these poseurs
the keys to the kingdom.
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109. Breathing out.
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110. You listening to me?
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111. Breathing in,
I embrace my anger.
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112. Yeah, embrace it.
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113. But I'm not going away.
You know I'm right.
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114. Look at that.
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115. These people don't know
what you're capable of.
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116. Why would
somebody go from playing
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117. the lead in
a comic book franchise...
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118. to adapting Raymond Carver
for the stage?
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119. As you're probably aware,
Barthes said:
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120. "The cultural work done in the
past by gods and epic sagas...
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121. "... is now being done by laundry
detergent commercials...
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122. "... and comic
strip characters."
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123. This is a big leap
you've taken.
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124. Yeah, it is.
Absolutely. Absolutely.
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125. Like you said...
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126. that, uh,
Barthes said, uh...
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127. Birdman, like Icarus—
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128. Okay, hang on.
Who is this Barthes guy?
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129. Which Birdman was he in?
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130. Uh, Roland Barthes
was a French philosopher,
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131. and if you knew anything
about the history of—
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132. Now is it true you've been injecting
yourself with semen from baby pigs?
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133. I'm sorry, what? As a method
of facial rejuvenation?
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134. Where did you read that?
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135. It was tweeted by
@prostatewhispers.
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136. That's not true.
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137. I know,
but did you do it?
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138. No, I didn't do it.
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139. Okay, I'll write
you're denying it.
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140. Don't write anything.
Why would you write anything?
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141. Don't write what she said.
I didn't put any baby pig...
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142. Are you at all afraid that
people will say you're doing this play...
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143. to battle the impression
you're a washed-up superhero?
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144. No, absolutely not.
That's why...
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145. twenty years ago, I said no
to Birdman 4.
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146. Birdman 4?
You do Birdman 4?
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147. Thank you for coming out.
Thank you.
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148. We're expecting
some great pieces.
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149. The guys in publicity...
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150. want a Times feature,
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151. which is the worst
idea right now.
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152. What are you doing?
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153. I don't want to look
at this anymore.
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154. That was a present
from the crew.
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155. Don't fuck with them—
they're union.
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156. I don't care.
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157. How'd it go?
Good.
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158. They talk about Ralph?
He did it.
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159. The motherfucker did it.
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160. Threatened to sue us.
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161. What'd you say?
Me?
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162. I said, "Motherfucker,
are you threatening me?
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163. "If I so much as get
a letter from a lawyer...
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164. "... the press is getting
pictures off your computer."
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165. What pictures?
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166. He has a thing
for nuns in diapers.
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167. Why do you care? Point
is, I made it go away.
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168. That's great.
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169. Yeah, it's fantastic,
except for one thing.
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170. We have no actor.
Uh-huh.
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171. And if we cancel the preview,
the press will smell blood.
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172. We can't afford to
lose any more money.
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173. What do you think
I should do?
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174. We hired an understudy.
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175. Use him.
No.
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176. Riggan, listen to me. Please,
for the love of God, listen.
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177. Our perfect dream actor is not going
to knock on that door and go,
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178. "Hey, fellas, when do I
start?"
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179. Can I talk to you?
What's up?
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180. You find another actor?
No.
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181. Mike's available.
Mike who?
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182. I thought he was
doing the thing—
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183. He quit. Or got fired.
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184. Mike who?
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185. Which is it, quit or fired?
With Mike, it's usually both.
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186. Mike fucking who?
Shiner.
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187. Yes!
Jake.
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188. How do you know
Mike Shiner?
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189. We share a vagina.
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190. You think he'd do it?
Mmm-hmm.
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191. How do you know?
He told me.
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192. Jake.
Yes.
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193. Ask me if he sells tickets.
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194. Does he sell tickets?
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195. A shitload. Ask me if the
theater critics love him.
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196. Do theater critics
love him?
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197. They want to spooge on him.
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198. Right on his face.
Everything for a reason.
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199. You think he'd come in
this evening?
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200. I'll call and find out.
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201. I'll call his agent.
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202. Amazing, amazing.
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203. Annie? Clear the theater,
send everyone to dinner
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204. and give me some lights!
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205. We've got
a put-in tonight.
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206. Who?
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207. You'll find Out.
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208. Intimidating, isn't it?
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209. You have any idea
the people who have
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210. walked on these boards
before you?
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211. Geraldine Page.
Helen Hayes.
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212. Jason Robards. Marlon Brando.
And now Riggan Thomson.
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213. Thanks for coming
in on such short notice, Mike.
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214. This is what I do.
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215. You wrote this adaptation?
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216. I did, yeah.
Ah.
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217. And you're directing and starring.
That's ambitious.
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218. Well, thanks.
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219. Well, it's a good theater.
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220. I can't speak for your play, but...
let's do a little bit of it.
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221. Oh, I didn't expect
you to just jump right in.
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222. It's first preview tomorrow night.
Let's get to work.
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223. Well, feel free to take the script
up until you feel comfortable.
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224. No, let's just do some of it.
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225. Uh...
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226. Take a look at page 20.
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227. I'm good. I don't need it.
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228. I don't need the script.
Give me a cue.
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229. What?
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230. Feed me a line.
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231. Feed me a line.
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232. Okay.
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233. Okay, uh, let me think.
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234. I'm the wrong person to ask.
I didn't actually know him.
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235. I only heard his name mentioned
in passing. Mmm-hmm.
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236. You'd have to know
the particulars.
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237. But I think what you're
saying is love is absolute.
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238. Is that what I'm saying? Am I saying
love is absolute?
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239. Yes. Okay, yeah!
The kind of love
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240. I'm talking about is absolute.
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241. The kind of love I'm talking about,
you don't try to kill people!
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242. How do you know the lines?
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243. It's a thing I have. I don't
know, it's a gift. Wow.
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244. Come on. I've been helping
Lesley get off book for a month.
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245. These lines are right here.
That makes sense.
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246. That's good.
Give me my cue again.
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247. I'm the wrong person to ask.
I didn't actually know him.
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248. I only heard his name
mentioned in passing.
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249. You never know the particulars.
I think what—
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250. Can I make a suggestion?
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251. Do you mind?
No, not at all.
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252. No, no, forget that.
Just stay with me.
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253. "I'm the wrong person to ask," he
says, but what's the intention?
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254. Is he fed up
with the subject?
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255. Deflecting guilt
over the marriage?
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256. And here's the thing— you
have four lines after that
Copy !req
257. that all say the same thing.
"I didn't know him."
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258. "I only heard his name
mentioned in passing."
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259. "I wouldn't know."
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260. "You'd have to know
the particulars."
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261. "Particulars" sounds
like my grandmother.
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262. The point is, you don't know the guy.
We fucking get it.
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263. Make it work with one line.
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264. "I didn't even know
the man." Right?
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265. Wait— You know
my lines, too, huh?
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266. Can we not get hung up
on knowing lines?
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267. Can we just work on this?
Tear it apart?
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268. So why don't you just give
me that same thing again,
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269. but cut it down. Try it.
Uh...
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270. I'm the wrong person to ask—
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271. Oh, no! That's the thing-—
"I'm the wrong person to ask."
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272. I think it's, "Fuck you."
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273. "Fuck you.
Don't put me on the spot."
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274. "Don't make me feel
self-conscious about my marriage
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275. "while my wife is sitting..."
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276. Right there.
"... right there."
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277. Can I sit down for this?
Yeah, sit. Good idea.
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278. So just give it to me as a
"Fuck you." Lay it on me.
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279. Just do it. Give it to me.
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280. Well, I'm thinking. Fuck me hard.
Just give it.
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281. Come on! Just do it!
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282. Hey, I'm the wrong
person to ask!
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283. I don't even know him.
What's your point?
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284. What's my point?
Yeah, what are you saying?
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285. Spit it out!
Oh! Oh!
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286. You're saying what? You're
saying love is absolute.
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287. Yes! Yes!
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288. The kind of love that I'm
talking about, it is absolute!
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289. The kind of
love that I'm talking about,
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290. you don't...
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291. you don't try
to kill people.
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292. Yeah. Good.
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293. I don't know—
what do you think, boss?
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294. You want to do
this with me?
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295. What do you think?
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296. Everybody's back. Larry needs
to see him for a fitting.
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297. I'll take that as a yes.
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298. So, who are you?
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299. That's Sam, my daughter. Oh.
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300. Wow! That's amazing. You don't
look anything like each other.
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301. What do you do?
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302. Um... She's my assistant.
Works with me.
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303. And does she talk
and speak?
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304. She does. Yeah.
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305. She can even sit or stay or roll
over, if you have any treats.
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306. Welcome aboard, Mike!
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307. Thank you, Captain.
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308. Um, I'm Mike... Shiner.
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309. Oh, I know who you are.
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310. I, uh, saw you in Hothouse
at the Geffen.
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311. You were great.
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312. Oh, thank you.
Your ass is great.
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313. Dude. Seriously?
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314. That was just me—
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315. Larry? Larry?
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316. This is the theater,
sweetheart.
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317. Don't be so self-conscious.
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318. He's here.
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319. Thank the Lord
and pass the biscuits.
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320. I finally have
an actor to dress.
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321. How are you, Larry?
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322. Better now you're here.
Take off your clothes.
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323. You're just going
to stand there?
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324. This is the theater, honey.
Don't be so self-conscious.
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325. We have to start from scratch
with less than 24 hours.
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326. Here. Try these—
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327. Holy shi—!
Where are your underpants?
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328. Under the bed
at home, I think.
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329. Uh...
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330. No. Okay, okay.
Everything's too small.
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331. You're not kidding.
Oh.
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332. Whoa. That's nice.
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333. Forgive him, Larry. Mike's
like my 5-year-old son.
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334. Neither of them
has clean underwear.
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335. Or pubic hair, I imagine.
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336. I can alter the suit,
Copy !req
337. but we're going to have to
make new trousers and shirts.
Copy !req
338. And underwear.
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339. What are you doing?
Waiting on Larry.
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340. I'm finished!
Copy !req
341. Then I'm just standing here
with my cock out.
Copy !req
342. Well, get dressed.
Copy !req
343. Riggan's daughter is hanging
around— she might walk in here.
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344. You haven't seen her.
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345. She's always around, watching
everyone, like Little Miss Creepy.
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346. I don't know if drugs
fried her brain or what...
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347. but I don't want
her running to her father
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348. saying you
showed her your junk.
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349. Then we should
ask her to leave.
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350. Oh, God. Really?
Mmm-hmm.
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351. Sammy?
It's Sam.
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352. Sam . . . Lesley.
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353. Listen, um, what I said—
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354. Oh, don't worry about it.
He's a handful, huh?
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355. How do you always manage to
find a new way to humiliate me?
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356. Oh, to be fair,
you make it really easy.
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357. What was she doing here?
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358. She brought me down.
And stayed?
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359. Well, she is a little...
something.
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360. This is Broadway.
And I'm here, finally.
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361. Now, please, do me a favor,
I'm begging you—
Copy !req
362. don't fuck it up!
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363. Lesley.
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364. Come here.
Come here.
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365. Play with my balls.
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366. Just sign it.
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367. Listen—
No, you listen to me!
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368. I can't afford
to listen to you.
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369. I have to go
shopping again.
Copy !req
370. Just sew something,
you old fuck!
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371. Give him
whatever he wants!
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372. It's four times what
we paid what's-his-name!
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373. Go into the reserve.
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374. It's gone! We spent it
on fog and fake trees...
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375. It's a dream sequence.
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376. and dancing midgets!
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377. You can't say
"midget" anymore.
Copy !req
378. The reserve is gone!
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379. You didn't see
what I just saw.
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380. I'm telling you,
this guy's the real deal.
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381. I can feel it.
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382. He's the actor
we've been waiting for.
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383. Come on. Just get
the contract done.
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384. Please, Jake.
I'll get the money.
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385. Okay, I'll do it.
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386. Stop smiling.
You're freaking me out.
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387. Sorry. You're right.
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388. Is it true? Shiner?
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389. Holy shit.
When can I meet him?
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390. He's with Larry now.
Copy !req
391. I'm going to Starbucks.
Want anything?
Copy !req
392. I'm good.
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393. She has a great ass.
I have news for you, too.
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394. Is it good or bad?
'Cause I really—
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395. I missed my last two periods.
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396. I think
it's really happening.
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397. Wow.
Copy !req
398. Is that good or bad?
Riggan!
Copy !req
399. It's good. It's great.
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400. Say something else.
Um...
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401. Uh...
Copy !req
402. You sure it's mine?
Copy !req
403. Well, you know,
there's you,
Copy !req
404. there's Jake, the masseur
wore a condom...
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405. yeah, I'm pretty sure
it's yours.
Copy !req
406. Idiot.
Copy !req
407. Are you excited?
Yeah.
Copy !req
408. Me, too.
Copy !req
409. You're not funny!
Copy !req
410. What? Hey, what?
Copy !req
411. First preview tomorrow.
Copy !req
412. Here we go.
Copy !req
413. I rode with him in the
ambulance to the hospital.
Copy !req
414. I will never get
that image out of my head.
Copy !req
415. Right before he did it, his
eyes were so sad and lonely.
Copy !req
416. Did you have
to treat him?
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417. I didn't have to,
but I did.
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418. Music out.
Cue 34, 35 ready.
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419. He was
in terrible shape.
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420. His head swelled to twice
the size of a normal head.
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421. He's good, huh?
He's incredible.
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422. I think
he's drinking real gin.
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423. What?
Copy !req
424. Ask Nick. I want you to ask
Nick if he thinks that's love.
Copy !req
425. Oh, honey,
can't we just go to dinner?
Copy !req
426. Mel,
don't get him started.
Copy !req
427. You don't know
how he's been lately.
Copy !req
428. He's been depressed.
I've been worried.
Copy !req
429. You've been what?
Copy !req
430. Let me tell you guys something about
real love. I'll tell you something.
Copy !req
431. We all should be ashamed
Copy !req
432. when we talk like we know
what we're talking about...
Copy !req
433. when we talk about love.
Copy !req
434. Oh, for God's sake,
are you getting drunk?
Copy !req
435. I don't have to be drunk
to say what I think.
Copy !req
436. We're not drunk. We're having
a few drinks. Exactly.
Copy !req
437. You've had more than a few.
Copy !req
438. What, are you counting?
Copy !req
439. Leave her alone. If you're not
drunk, don't talk like you are.
Copy !req
440. Shut up!
Copy !req
441. Do me a favor.
For once in your life,
Copy !req
442. honest to God,
shut up for a minute.
Copy !req
443. Anyway, like I was saying...
Copy !req
444. you want to know about real
love, there's this old couple...
Copy !req
445. had a car wreck,
out on the interstate.
Copy !req
446. Some drunk kid plowed
his old man's pickup...
Copy !req
447. right into their camper.
Copy !req
448. By the time I got down
to the hospital, this kid,
Copy !req
449. this fucking teenager,
was dead.
Copy !req
450. So we took the old couple
up to the O.R.
Copy !req
451. We worked like hell on them
through most of the night.
Copy !req
452. By the time we were done with
them, we just, you know...
Copy !req
453. wrapped them
in full body casts.
Copy !req
454. The husband,
the old man...
Copy !req
455. was depressed
for the longest time.
Copy !req
456. Even after I said to him,
Copy !req
457. "Your wife's going to pull
through", he was still depressed.
Copy !req
458. So, I went up to the mouth
hole and I asked him.
Copy !req
459. And he told me it was because
he couldn't see her...
Copy !req
460. through the eyes.
Couldn't see his wife.
Copy !req
461. Can you imagine?
Copy !req
462. I'm telling you, this guy's
heart was breaking because...
Copy !req
463. Ugh...
Copy !req
464. he couldn't turn
his goddamn head
Copy !req
465. and just look at
his goddamn wife.
Copy !req
466. Shit.
Copy !req
467. I mean,
it was killing this guy.
Copy !req
468. I am so tired of this.
Is this water?
Copy !req
469. It was killing him.
Copy !req
470. Did you replace
my gin with water, man?
Copy !req
471. Oh!
Copy !req
472. Mike, come on.
Copy !req
473. "Come on," what?
You're drunk.
Copy !req
474. Yes, I'm drunk. I'm supposed to be drunk!
Why aren't you drunk?
Copy !req
475. This is Carver!
Copy !req
476. He left a piece of his liver on the
table each time he wrote a page!
Copy !req
477. If I need to be drinking gin, who
the fuck are you to touch my gin?
Copy !req
478. You fucked with the period,
Copy !req
479. you fucked with the plot
so you'd get the best lines.
Copy !req
480. Leave me the fucking tools that I need!
Copy !req
481. Oh, come on, people,
don't be so pathetic.
Copy !req
482. Stop viewing the world through
your cell phone screen!
Copy !req
483. Have a real experience!
Copy !req
484. Does anybody give a shit about
the truth other than me?
Copy !req
485. This set is fake,
the bananas are fake.
Copy !req
486. There's nothing in
this milk carton!
Copy !req
487. Your performance is fake.
Copy !req
488. The only thing that's real on
this stage is this chicken.
Copy !req
489. So I'm going to work
with the chicken.
Copy !req
490. That was interesting.
Copy !req
491. Bring the curtain down.
Copy !req
492. That's good bird, man!
Copy !req
493. Get him out of here!
Copy !req
494. How do you
want me to do that?
Copy !req
495. Hey, wait.
Copy !req
496. I want him gone.
No!
Copy !req
497. We cannot do that!
Copy !req
498. Of course we can!
It's our show!
Copy !req
499. Listen to me.
No, you listen to me.
Copy !req
500. Get him the fuck
out of my play.
Copy !req
501. It was a preview!
Nobody gives a shit!
Copy !req
502. Nothing matters until
that old bat from
Copy !req
503. the New York Times
comes opening night!
Copy !req
504. We're getting rid of him.
Copy !req
505. Shut up! Shut up and
listen to me for once!
Copy !req
506. As soon as we announced he was
taking over, the advance doubled.
Copy !req
507. We can't afford to
lose any more money
Copy !req
508. and we can't
afford to lose Mike.
Copy !req
509. This is about being respected
and validated, remember'?
Copy !req
510. That's what you told me!
Copy !req
511. That's how you got
me into this shit!
Copy !req
512. Now, you're the director.
Get him under control.
Copy !req
513. Fuck.
Copy !req
514. This isn't the '90s anymore.
Copy !req
515. Your zipper's down.
Copy !req
516. Fuck.
Copy !req
517. You were
really good, cabrón.
Copy !req
518. Mmm-hmm.
Copy !req
519. Out in front of the theater
in ten minutes!
Copy !req
520. Don't overthink it.
Copy !req
521. What the hell
was going on up there?
Copy !req
522. I didn't know you
were here tonight.
Copy !req
523. That guy's an asshole, huh?
Copy !req
524. What are you doing here?
Copy !req
525. Sam and I are going to grab a
bite after she's finished.
Copy !req
526. No, I mean here. Now.
Copy !req
527. Well, I know how much
this means to you.
Copy !req
528. Oh.
Copy !req
529. Thanks. I appreciate that.
Copy !req
530. So what's happening?
Copy !req
531. With the play?
You saw what.
Copy !req
532. No. You and Sam.
Copy !req
533. Oh, you know, it's great.
Copy !req
534. It's the same.
Copy !req
535. Do you talk to her?
Copy !req
536. Yeah, we talk.
Copy !req
537. It's just been so crazy
around here, you know?
Copy !req
538. You understand
where her head is at.
Copy !req
539. Of course.
Copy !req
540. She's trying to stay away
from everything and everyone
Copy !req
541. that got her into rehab
in the first place.
Copy !req
542. I know. I really do.
I get it.
Copy !req
543. That's all she's had,
so she's confused.
Copy !req
544. Yeah, I get it.
Copy !req
545. I know you're caught up
in all this stuff, but—
Copy !req
546. "Stuff"?
Uh...
Copy !req
547. You know what I mean.
Copy !req
548. Riggan, you don't have to be
a great father right now.
Copy !req
549. You just have to be one.
Copy !req
550. Oh, sorry.
Copy !req
551. How's that going?
Copy !req
552. I'd rather not talk about it.
Copy !req
553. You're drinking?
Copy !req
554. Yeah, I'm having a beer.
Copy !req
555. So...
Copy !req
556. what's going on with you?
Copy !req
557. Me? Oh...
Copy !req
558. Nothing.
Copy !req
559. Everything's the same,
I guess.
Copy !req
560. I'm going back
to teaching.
Copy !req
561. Oh, yeah?
Copy !req
562. I'm thinking of refinancing
the Malibu house.
Copy !req
563. What? I'm sorry.
Copy !req
564. I'm thinking
of refinancing—
Copy !req
565. No, I heard you.
I just need a second.
Copy !req
566. That's going to
be Sam's house.
Copy !req
567. Why would you...?
For this play?
Copy !req
568. I need the money.
Copy !req
569. Do you have any idea
how crazy that sounds?
Copy !req
570. What do you want me to say? My
health lasted longer than the money.
Copy !req
571. Go figure that out.
Copy !req
572. What's going on?
Copy !req
573. Riggan, look at me.
Copy !req
574. Uh...
Copy !req
575. I got a chance to
do something right.
Copy !req
576. I got to take it.
I got to.
Copy !req
577. It's funny. I was sitting
here, waiting for you...
Copy !req
578. and all of a sudden, I couldn't
remember why we broke up.
Copy !req
579. You know, the last time
I flew here from L.A...
Copy !req
580. George Clooney was sitting
two seats in front of me...
Copy !req
581. with a nice pair of cufflinks
and that fucking chin.
Copy !req
582. We ended up flying through
this really, really horrible storm.
Copy !req
583. I mean, the plane was
rattling and shaking.
Copy !req
584. And all the people
on board are, you know, crying.
Copy !req
585. I mean, crying.
Praying, right?
Copy !req
586. I just sat there.
Copy !req
587. They're crying,
I sit there.
Copy !req
588. And I'm thinking,
"Oh, boy...
Copy !req
589. "... the next morning, when
Sam looks at the paper...
Copy !req
590. "... it's going to be Clooney's
face on the front page, not mine."
Copy !req
591. You know? Boom.
Copy !req
592. Did you know
Farrah Fawcett died
Copy !req
593. the exact same day
as Michael Jackson?
Copy !req
594. Is that crazy?
Copy !req
595. Why did we break up?
Copy !req
596. Because you threw
a kitchen knife at me...
Copy !req
597. and an hour later, were telling
me how much you loved me.
Copy !req
598. Just because I didn't like that ridiculous
comedy you did with Goldie Hawn...
Copy !req
599. did not mean
I did not love you.
Copy !req
600. That's what you always do—
Copy !req
601. you confuse love
for admiration.
Copy !req
602. It's your house—
do what you want with it.
Copy !req
603. Just be there
for our daughter.
Copy !req
604. I will.
Copy !req
605. You're not Farrah Fawcett,
Riggan.
Copy !req
606. We should have done that
reality show— The Thomsons.
Copy !req
607. Shut up.
Copy !req
608. That would've been good.
Shut up!
Copy !req
609. Crazy, druggy, wise-ass daughter,
MILF-y wife with perky tits.
Copy !req
610. People would've
wanted to see that.
Copy !req
611. Shut up.
More than this piece of shit.
Copy !req
612. Shut up!
Copy !req
613. The sun bed is here.
Copy !req
614. What does that mean?
Copy !req
615. It means there's a sun bed out
there being delivered to in here.
Copy !req
616. Who ordered a sun bed?
Copy !req
617. Mike. He said it's
for his character—
Copy !req
618. part of his process
and that shit.
Copy !req
619. He said he has
to be a redneck.
Copy !req
620. Son of a bitch.
Copy !req
621. Let's go. Walk.
Copy !req
622. Where are we going?
To get you coffee.
Copy !req
623. Did I do something to disrespect you?
Not yet.
Copy !req
624. I have a lot riding on this play.
Oh, is that right?
Copy !req
625. Yeah. People know
who I am, and—
Copy !req
626. Bullshit. They don't
know you, your work.
Copy !req
627. They know the guy
from the bird suit
Copy !req
628. who tells coy, slightly
vomitous stories on Letterman.
Copy !req
629. Well, I'm sorry
if I'm popular.
Copy !req
630. Popular'?
I don't give a shit.
Copy !req
631. Popularity is the slutty little
cousin of prestige, my friend.
Copy !req
632. Okay, I don't even know what
the fuck that means. Mmm.
Copy !req
633. It means, my reputation is riding
on this, and that's worth a, a...
Copy !req
634. A lot. A lot, exactly!
Fuck you. Yes!
Copy !req
635. If this doesn't
work out for you,
Copy !req
636. you fuck off back to
your studio pals...
Copy !req
637. and dive back into that cultural
genocide you guys perpetrate.
Copy !req
638. A douchebag's
born every minute!
Copy !req
639. That was P.T. Barnum's premise
when he invented the circus...
Copy !req
640. and nothing has changed. You guys
know if you crank out toxic crap...
Copy !req
641. people will line up
and pay to see it!
Copy !req
642. But long after you're gone,
I'll be on that stage...
Copy !req
643. earning my living,
baring my soul,
Copy !req
644. wrestling with complex emotions,
'cause that's what we do.
Copy !req
645. Oh, so that's what
tonight was about?
Copy !req
646. You wrestling
with complex emotion?
Copy !req
647. Tonight was about seeing if it's
even alive, if it can bleed.
Copy !req
648. This isn't a backlot, Riggan, this is New
York City. This is how we do things.
Copy !req
649. Where are you going?
Copy !req
650. They have coffee here.
Copy !req
651. Thanks, Tommy.
Copy !req
652. They were laughing at us.
Copy !req
653. Tonight they were laughing,
tomorrow they'll be tweeting.
Copy !req
654. Who cares?
Copy !req
655. These are people
who pay half price
Copy !req
656. to watch us rehearse.
Stop caring.
Copy !req
657. This play's a drama.
It's about—
Copy !req
658. You don't know what the play's about.
I do know.
Copy !req
659. No, you don't. That's
what previews are for.
Copy !req
660. That's why they
call them previews.
Copy !req
661. That's where you figure out
what the play is.
Copy !req
662. Okay, look, look.
Listen to me.
Copy !req
663. You see the woman at
the end of the bar'?
Copy !req
664. The one who looks like she
licked a homeless man's ass?
Copy !req
665. Yeah.
Copy !req
666. All that matters is what she writes
about us in 500 words in the Times.
Copy !req
667. That's, uh...
Tabitha Dickinson, yes.
Copy !req
668. The only opinion that matters
in New York theater is hers.
Copy !req
669. If she likes us, we run.
If she doesn't, we're fucked.
Copy !req
670. She does look like she
licked a homeless guy's ass.
Copy !req
671. Do me a favor.
Copy !req
672. Don't get your panties in a twist
over a preview, like some rookie...
Copy !req
673. and don't tell me
how to do my job.
Copy !req
674. This is my town
and to be honest,
Copy !req
675. people don't give
a shit about you here.
Copy !req
676. You're Riggan Thomson, right?
Sorry to interrupt.
Copy !req
677. Would you mind having a
picture with us here?
Copy !req
678. Would you mind?
Copy !req
679. The button's on the bottom.
Copy !req
680. Who is this guy?
He used to be Birdman.
Copy !req
681. Oh, you're such a doll. Thank you.
You're so sweet.
Copy !req
682. Handsome.
Oh.
Copy !req
683. Okay, sweetheart,
come on.
Copy !req
684. Are we good here?
Copy !req
685. I'm going to go home.
Copy !req
686. All right.
See you tomorrow.
Copy !req
687. Oh...
Copy !req
688. I want to know something.
Copy !req
689. Why Raymond Carver?
Copy !req
690. I was a kid,
in high school...
Copy !req
691. doing a play in Syracuse,
and he was in the audience.
Copy !req
692. And he
sent this back afterwards.
Copy !req
693. A little note.
Copy !req
694. "Thank you for an honest performance.
Ray Carver."
Copy !req
695. That's when I knew
I was going to be an actor.
Copy !req
696. Right there.
Copy !req
697. Oh.
Copy !req
698. What's so funny?
Copy !req
699. It's just on
a cocktail napkin.
Copy !req
700. So?
Copy !req
701. He was
fucking drunk, man.
Copy !req
702. You headed
to Hollywood, Mike?
Copy !req
703. NO.
Copy !req
704. Hollywood's
heading here, Tabby.
Copy !req
705. Good luck with that.
Copy !req
706. "A man becomes a critic
Copy !req
707. "when he cannot
be an artist...
Copy !req
708. "... the same way a man becomes an
informer when he cannot be a soldier."
Copy !req
709. That's Flaubert, right?
Copy !req
710. He's a Hollywood clown
in a Lycra bird suit.
Copy !req
711. Yes, he is.
Copy !req
712. But tomorrow night
at 8:00...
Copy !req
713. he's going out on that
stage and risking everything.
Copy !req
714. What will you be doing?
Copy !req
715. Don't you ever worry that
I'll give you a bad review?
Copy !req
716. I'm sure you will...
Copy !req
717. if I ever give you
a bad performance.
Copy !req
718. Miss Dickinson.
Copy !req
719. Mr. Shiner.
Copy !req
720. What are you
still doing here?
Copy !req
721. Nothing.
Copy !req
722. Um, your costumes are hanging
in your dressing room.
Copy !req
723. Oh, great. Great.
Copy !req
724. Oh, I got that coconut water
you wanted.
Copy !req
725. If you want the face stuff,
it's not open till tomorrow.
Copy !req
726. What?
Copy !req
727. Uh...
Copy !req
728. I'm not sure that
I said thank you.
Copy !req
729. For what?
Copy !req
730. Everything. You've been doing
a really good job, honestly.
Copy !req
731. I've been so preoccupied
with all the...
Copy !req
732. Okay, well,
I just wanted to say that.
Copy !req
733. What is that?
Copy !req
734. That smell.
Copy !req
735. What is it?
Look at me. Look at me!
Copy !req
736. What? What?
Copy !req
737. You've got to be shitting me.
Where is it?
Copy !req
738. Can we not
do this, please?
Copy !req
739. Dad?
Copy !req
740. Where is it?
I can't believe this.
Copy !req
741. Ugh.
Copy !req
742. What is this?
Copy !req
743. Chunky peanut butter.
Copy !req
744. This. This. What is that? Ah.
Copy !req
745. That's pot. Relax.
Copy !req
746. "Relax." You can't do this to me.
To you?
Copy !req
747. You know what
I'm talking about.
Copy !req
748. Oh, yeah, you!
What else is new?
Copy !req
749. Don't do that thing where you—
Make it about me? Never!
Copy !req
750. I'm trying to do
something important!
Copy !req
751. This is not important!
Copy !req
752. It's important to me!
Copy !req
753. Maybe not to you
or your cynical friends
Copy !req
754. whose only ambition
is to "go viral"...
Copy !req
755. but to me...
God, this is my career!
Copy !req
756. It's my chance to finally do
work that means something.
Copy !req
757. That means
something to who?
Copy !req
758. You had a career, Dad, before
the third comic book movie.
Copy !req
759. Before people started to forget
who was inside that bird costume.
Copy !req
760. You are doing a play based on a
book written 60 years ago...
Copy !req
761. for a thousand
rich old white people...
Copy !req
762. whose only concern is where to
have cake and coffee afterwards!
Copy !req
763. Nobody gives
a shit but you!
Copy !req
764. And, let's face it, Dad...
Copy !req
765. you are not doing this
for the sake of art,
Copy !req
766. you're doing it to
feel relevant again.
Copy !req
767. Well, guess what? There's
an entire world of people
Copy !req
768. who fight to be relevant
every single day!
Copy !req
769. And you act like
it doesn't exist.
Copy !req
770. Things that are happening
in a place you ignore...
Copy !req
771. that has already
forgotten about you!
Copy !req
772. I mean,
who the fuck are you?
Copy !req
773. You hate bloggers,
you mock Twitter.
Copy !req
774. You don't even
have a Facebook page!
Copy !req
775. It's you who doesn't exist!
Copy !req
776. You're doing this
because you're terrified,
Copy !req
777. like the rest of us,
that you don't matter.
Copy !req
778. And you know what?
You're right! You don't!
Copy !req
779. It's not important, okay? You're
not important— get used to it!
Copy !req
780. Dad.
Copy !req
781. In the days before Nick's
depression started to eat away at him...
Copy !req
782. he never knew
I was pregnant,
Copy !req
783. and I never
intended to tell him.
Copy !req
784. I guess we make
choices in life,
Copy !req
785. and we choose to
live with them.
Copy !req
786. Or not.
Copy !req
787. I didn't want that baby.
Copy !req
788. Not because
I didn't love Nick,
Copy !req
789. and not because I didn't
love the idea of it...
Copy !req
790. but just because I wasn't
ready to love myself.
Copy !req
791. There's a distance
to it all now.
Copy !req
792. A wistful distance, underscored
by a gentle breeze...
Copy !req
793. Actors in position.
Copy !req
794. and the sound
of birds...
Copy !req
795. Music out.
Copy !req
796. laughing at
the whimsy of it all.
Copy !req
797. Lesley?
What?
Copy !req
798. I think I'm hard.
Copy !req
799. No, it's just sometimes you don't
consider other people's feelings.
Copy !req
800. No, no. I'm getting
hard— feel that.
Copy !req
801. What?
You've got to be kidding.
Copy !req
802. Let's really do it.
Let's fuck.
Copy !req
803. No, are you crazy?
Copy !req
804. It'll be incredible!
It'll be real.
Copy !req
805. Cut it out!
I'm serious, Mike.
Copy !req
806. Don't call me Mike. Call me Mel.
Copy !req
807. Get off!
Copy !req
808. Terri! Terri!
Copy !req
809. Terri, I know
you're in there!
Copy !req
810. Get off me! Get off!
Copy !req
811. Ed?
Why?
Copy !req
812. What are you doing here?
Just tell me why.
Copy !req
813. Take it easy, okay? I know this is hard.
Copy !req
814. Shut up! Shut—
Copy !req
815. Shut up! Just don't
do anything stupid.
Copy !req
816. Eddie, please!
Copy !req
817. What's the matter with me? Why do I
always have to beg people to love me?
Copy !req
818. Eddie, please,
give me the gun.
Copy !req
819. Look at me.
Copy !req
820. I was drowning.
I'm just not capable of—
Copy !req
821. You deserve to be loved,
Eddie. You do.
Copy !req
822. I just wanted to
be what you wanted.
Copy !req
823. Now I spend every
fucking minute praying
Copy !req
824. to be somebody else.
Somebody I'm not!
Copy !req
825. Anybody-
Copy !req
826. Just put the gun down, Ed.
She doesn't love you anymore.
Copy !req
827. You don't, do you?
Copy !req
828. No.
Copy !req
829. And you never will.
Copy !req
830. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
831. I don't exist.
Copy !req
832. I'm not even here.
Copy !req
833. None of this even matters.
I don't exist. I don't exist.
Copy !req
834. Ed...
I don't exist.
Copy !req
835. Ed! Eddie, Eddie, don't do that!
Copy !req
836. You're such an asshole!
Copy !req
837. What?
That's the best you've been.
Copy !req
838. Why would you do that?
We were onstage!
Copy !req
839. What the fuck? It's like
my head was a jar of Bolognese!
Copy !req
840. I'll fix the blood rig.
Copy !req
841. —They're fucking
in a motel room.
Copy !req
842. You can't get it up
in six months
Copy !req
843. and now you want to fuck me
in front of 800 strangers?
Copy !req
844. I need it to feel real, okay?
I need that intensity.
Copy !req
845. Oh, fuck you!
Oh.
Copy !req
846. I was in the moment.
I thought you were, too.
Copy !req
847. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
848. I told you to stop,
you fucking animal.
Copy !req
849. You were brilliant.
Copy !req
850. What is wrong with you?
Copy !req
851. I want your shit
out of the apartment.
Copy !req
852. What? Hey, no, wait. Look, look, I'm sorry.
Can we just-—
Copy !req
853. No, we can't, Mike! Maybe up
here, you're Mr. Truth...
Copy !req
854. but in the real world, where it
counts, you're a fucking fraud!
Copy !req
855. How's that for truth,
you dick?
Copy !req
856. What's wrong?
He's an asshole.
Copy !req
857. What'd he do now?
Copy !req
858. Oh, nothing, just try to fuck
me in front of the audience!
Copy !req
859. Oh, my God!
Right?
Copy !req
860. That's kind of hot!
Copy !req
861. Why don't I have
any self-respect?
Copy !req
862. You're an actress, honey.
Copy !req
863. I'm pathetic!
Copy !req
864. Look at me.
Copy !req
865. You know, I've always dreamed
of being a Broadway actress...
Copy !req
866. since I was a little kid.
And now I'm here, and I'm...
Copy !req
867. I'm not
a Broadway actress,
Copy !req
868. I'm still
just a little kid.
Copy !req
869. And I keep waiting for someone
to tell me I made it.
Copy !req
870. You made it.
Copy !req
871. I did?
Copy !req
872. Sadly, it was with Mike Shiner on a
fake motel bed in front of 800 people.
Copy !req
873. Shut up.
Oh.
Copy !req
874. Hey, is she okay?
Copy !req
875. She'll be fine.
Copy !req
876. Look, none of this
is your fault, okay?
Copy !req
877. You're beautiful
and you're talented...
Copy !req
878. and I'm lucky
to have you.
Copy !req
879. Okay?
Copy !req
880. Okay.
Copy !req
881. That was kind of sweet.
Copy !req
882. Yeah.
Copy !req
883. What's wrong?
Copy !req
884. Nothing. Two years, and he's never
said anything like that to me.
Copy !req
885. You're beautiful
and you're talented...
Copy !req
886. and I'm lucky
to have you. Okay?
Copy !req
887. We're gross.
Copy !req
888. We are.
Copy !req
889. What are you doing?
Nothing.
Copy !req
890. Do it again.
Copy !req
891. Can we discuss this
like two mature artists?
Copy !req
892. What is the big deal about—
Copy !req
893. Fuck you!
Copy !req
894. You're not ready yet.
That's fine.
Copy !req
895. Hmm.
Copy !req
896. Fuck. Actresses.
Copy !req
897. They drive me
fucking crazy.
Copy !req
898. Riggan?
Copy !req
899. Your gun is ridiculous. I can see
the red plug in the barrel...
Copy !req
900. so you look like a kid with a
plastic toy when you point it at me.
Copy !req
901. I don't feel
threatened at all.
Copy !req
902. Get a better one.
Have some self-respect.
Copy !req
903. Please.
Copy !req
904. Hey, apart from that, uh...
Copy !req
905. I thought it was
a pretty fun crowd, huh?
Copy !req
906. I don't think
it's high enough.
Copy !req
907. Me, neither.
Copy !req
908. What are you
doing up here?
Copy !req
909. Uh, adrenaline.
Copy !req
910. I just got out of rehab. It's the
closest thing I get to a drug.
Copy !req
911. You went to rehab?
Copy !req
912. Cool.
Copy !req
913. It wasn't all
Dr. Drew or anything,
Copy !req
914. but that dude from
American Pie was there.
Copy !req
915. Jump!
Copy !req
916. Eat me!
Copy !req
917. Okay, then jump on my face!
Copy !req
918. I love this city.
Copy !req
919. Yeah?
Copy !req
920. Why do you act like
a dick all the time?
Copy !req
921. Do you just do it
to antagonize people?
Copy !req
922. Maybe.
Copy !req
923. You really don't give a shit
if people like you or not.
Copy !req
924. Not really.
Copy !req
925. That's cool.
Copy !req
926. Is it? I don't know.
Copy !req
927. What?
Copy !req
928. Let's play a game.
Copy !req
929. A game? What are you, eight?
Mmm-hmm.
Copy !req
930. What are you, 78?
Copy !req
931. Truth or dare.
Oh, come on.
Copy !req
932. Truth or dare?
Oh.
Copy !req
933. Truth.
Copy !req
934. When we first met, you made
a comment about my ass.
Copy !req
935. Why did you do that?
Copy !req
936. You have a terrific ass,
and I noticed that.
Copy !req
937. And I just commented on it.
Copy !req
938. Truth or dare?
Dare.
Copy !req
939. Really?
Yeah.
Copy !req
940. There's a bald guy and he's
going to walk right under you.
Copy !req
941. Spit on his head.
Copy !req
942. No.
You said dare.
Copy !req
943. Truth.
No, it's too late.
Copy !req
944. Happy?
Yeah.
Copy !req
945. Ew!
Copy !req
946. Truth or dare?
Copy !req
947. Truth.
You're boring.
Copy !req
948. The truth is
always interesting.
Copy !req
949. Uh...
Copy !req
950. You want to fool
around with me?
Copy !req
951. No.
Copy !req
952. Really?
Copy !req
953. Why not?
Copy !req
954. That's a second question.
It's a second part.
Copy !req
955. I'd be afraid
I couldn't get it up.
Copy !req
956. That didn't seem to be a
problem for you onstage.
Copy !req
957. Nothing is a problem
for me onstage.
Copy !req
958. I want to ask
another question.
Copy !req
959. You already did.
Copy !req
960. One more.
Go ahead.
Copy !req
961. If you weren't afraid, what
would you want to do to me?
Copy !req
962. I'd pull your eyes
out of your head...
Copy !req
963. That's sweet.
Copy !req
964. and put them
in my own skull...
Copy !req
965. and look around,
so I could see the street
Copy !req
966. the way I used to
when I was your age.
Copy !req
967. Good night.
Copy !req
968. Don't kill
the messenger.
Copy !req
969. He's an asshole.
Copy !req
970. I told you.
Copy !req
971. You fucking prick.
Copy !req
972. He 's playing you-
Copy !req
973. This is it?
Copy !req
974. Page 12. Page 12.
Copy !req
975. "Riggan Thomson, best known
as the face of Birdman,
Copy !req
976. "tries not to lay
an egg on Broadway."
Copy !req
977. Where's the rest of it?
There is no rest of it.
Copy !req
978. Don't worry— it'll be used to
scoop up dog shit tomorrow.
Copy !req
979. How can you be so calm?
Copy !req
980. What are my other choices?
Copy !req
981. Aren't you scared at all?
About what?
Copy !req
982. About being
humiliated out there!
Copy !req
983. It won't be the first
time I've been humiliated.
Copy !req
984. Well, of course it won't.
Copy !req
985. You're an asshole.
Copy !req
986. And by the way,
I'm not pregnant,
Copy !req
987. so there's one thing
not to worry about.
Copy !req
988. Forget about her.
Copy !req
989. He stole your front page.
Copy !req
990. He's stealing your show.
He thinks you're a joke.
Copy !req
991. Now two million people
agree with him.
Copy !req
992. Maybe you are, Riggan. Maybe
that's what you are- a joke.
Copy !req
993. Whoa! What the hell
is going on?
Copy !req
994. Get up!
Ow! That hurts!
Copy !req
995. Get up!
Back away!
Copy !req
996. So Carver's the reason
you became an actor, huh?
Copy !req
997. Listen, this is
my fucking show.
Copy !req
998. I did the work, I raised the
money and I arrange the press!
Copy !req
999. Oh, Jesus. They called
me for an interview.
Copy !req
1000. I told them the first thing
that came into my head.
Copy !req
1001. We got the cover
of the Arts section!
Copy !req
1002. Fuck the Arts section!
Copy !req
1003. You told them the first thing
that came into your head?
Copy !req
1004. Right.
Copy !req
1005. You're Mr. Natural.
Mr. Fuck-the-scene-
Copy !req
1006. just-stare-
at-my-massive-hard-on.
Copy !req
1007. That's truth.
Copy !req
1008. You think
it looked massive?
Copy !req
1009. Shut the fuck up.
Copy !req
1010. You don't get hard on my
stage unless I tell you to.
Copy !req
1011. Your stage? Oh, let me
tell you something.
Copy !req
1012. This stage has belonged to a lot of great
actors, but you are not one of them.
Copy !req
1013. So you wrote your own lines, huh?
Ow!
Copy !req
1014. I did, actually.
Copy !req
1015. You wrote a few changes and
mumbled, you self-absorbed prick.
Copy !req
1016. I'm self-absorbed?
Look at you.
Copy !req
1017. You nobody piece of shit!
Copy !req
1018. Nobody? My massive hard-on
got 50,000 views on YouTube.
Copy !req
1019. A cat playing with a dildo
gets more than that.
Copy !req
1020. I don't care.
Yes, you do! You care.
Copy !req
1021. I'm a theater actor. I don't
give a shit. You care.
Copy !req
1022. Everybody says,
"Oh, Mike is so honest.
Copy !req
1023. "Mike is so motherfucking
truthful!" Ow!
Copy !req
1024. You said in the interview your
father was a drunk like Carver.
Copy !req
1025. Is that true?
Copy !req
1026. No. No.
'Cause my father was.
Copy !req
1027. My father was a mean fucking drunk.
You understand?
Copy !req
1028. He beat the shit out of us.
Copy !req
1029. But at least when
he was beating us...
Copy !req
1030. he wasn't thinking about
taking us out to his toolshed.
Copy !req
1031. Because when
he got us out there...
Copy !req
1032. that bastard
would smile and say:
Copy !req
1033. "You want to get on your
knees and unbuckle my belt,
Copy !req
1034. "or do I take it off
and use it on you?"
Copy !req
1035. After a while, I made myself numb, so...
But my—
Copy !req
1036. My little sister...
Copy !req
1037. Okay. Okay. Hey, hey, hey.
Copy !req
1038. Oh, God.
Copy !req
1039. Uh, I didn't know.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1040. That's fucking horrible, man.
I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1041. It's also not true. See,
I can pretend, too. Oh!
Copy !req
1042. Don't fuck with me, Mike.
Copy !req
1043. You're a little bit crazy. You
should start using that onstage.
Copy !req
1044. "Working with
Riggan Thomson's
Copy !req
1045. "like waltzing
with a monkey? Huh"
Copy !req
1046. I might have said that.
Copy !req
1047. You might?
Come on, let's go.
Copy !req
1048. Come on.
Yeah.
Copy !req
1049. Why don't you get your
wings and your bird suit?
Copy !req
1050. Ow!
Copy !req
1051. I'm gonna crab up on your ass
and fucking choke you out!
Copy !req
1052. Get off me.
What are you looking at?
Copy !req
1053. What are you going
to do, replace me?
Copy !req
1054. Get fucking Ryan
Gosling or some shit?
Copy !req
1055. What do you think my friend Tabitha
will do to you in the Times,
Copy !req
1056. you fucking dilettante!
Copy !req
1057. You are lame, Riggan...
Copy !req
1058. rolling around with
that poncy theater fuck...
Copy !req
1059. in an 800-seat
shithole like this.
Copy !req
1060. Oh, you really
fucked up this time.
Copy !req
1061. You destroy a genius book with
that infantile adaptation.
Copy !req
1062. Now you're about to destroy
what's left of your career.
Copy !req
1063. It's pathetic.
Copy !req
1064. Breathing in, I am calm.
Copy !req
1065. Let's get the hell out
of here while we can.
Copy !req
1066. I ignore this
mental formation.
Copy !req
1067. This is a mental formation.
Copy !req
1068. Stop that shit!
Copy !req
1069. I'm not a mental formation. I'm
you, asshole.
Copy !req
1070. Leave me alone.
Copy !req
1071. You were a movie star,
remember?
Copy !req
1072. Pretentious, but happy.
I wasn't happy.
Copy !req
1073. Ignorant, but charming. Now, you're
just a tiny, bitter cocksucker.
Copy !req
1074. I was fucking miserable.
Copy !req
1075. Yeah, but fake miserable.
Hollywood miserable.
Copy !req
1076. What are you
trying to prove?
Copy !req
1077. You're an artist?
You're not.
Copy !req
1078. FUCK you!
Copy !req
1079. No, fuck you, you coward.
Copy !req
1080. We grossed billions! You're
ashamed of that? Billions!
Copy !req
1081. And billions of flies
eat shit every day!
Copy !req
1082. So what?
Does that make it good?
Copy !req
1083. I don't know if you noticed,
but that was 1992!
Copy !req
1084. You could jump right back into
that suit, if you wanted to.
Copy !req
1085. Oh, look at me! Look at this!
Look, look, look!
Copy !req
1086. I look like a turkey
with leukemia!
Copy !req
1087. I'm fucking disappearing.
Copy !req
1088. This is what's left!
Copy !req
1089. I'm the answer to a fucking
Trivial Pursuit question!
Copy !req
1090. You're an imposter here.
Copy !req
1091. Eventually they will
figure you out.
Copy !req
1092. What part of this don't you get?
You're dead.
Copy !req
1093. We are not dead.
Copy !req
1094. Oh, please,
just stay dead.
Copy !req
1095. We are not dead.
Copy !req
1096. Stop saying "well"
There is no "we!"
Copy !req
1097. I'm not fucking you! I'm
Riggan fucking Thomson!
Copy !req
1098. No, you're Birdman.
Copy !req
1099. Because without me,
all that's left is you...
Copy !req
1100. a sad, selfish,
mediocre actor...
Copy !req
1101. grasping at the last
vestiges of his career.
Copy !req
1102. What the hell did you do that for?
I liked that poster.
Copy !req
1103. It's always "we," brother.
Copy !req
1104. Fuck you!
Shut the fuck up!
Copy !req
1105. Leave me alone!
Copy !req
1106. You're fucking, so fucking annoying!
Shut up!
Copy !req
1107. Hey. What's up?
Copy !req
1108. Um, well...
Copy !req
1109. one hour till curtain.
Why don't you rest a bit?
Copy !req
1110. Yeah, I'm going to lay down.
Copy !req
1111. Almost there, buddy. Last preview.
Okay. Cool.
Copy !req
1112. How you doing?
Good. Great.
Copy !req
1113. The money came through. I just need
to transfer it into the account.
Copy !req
1114. Good. That's terrific.
Copy !req
1115. So... I'll go, uh, do that.
Copy !req
1116. Thanks for stopping by.
Copy !req
1117. You know I'm proud
of you, don't you?
Copy !req
1118. This took balls.
Copy !req
1119. And you did it, okay?
I know.
Copy !req
1120. I think we should
cancel the preview.
Copy !req
1121. I'm tired, dude. I can't
do this anymore, Jake.
Copy !req
1122. I can't.
Copy !req
1123. That's a joke, right?
Copy !req
1124. You know, I don't think this is for me.
The whole...
Copy !req
1125. They're laughing at me.
Copy !req
1126. There is a three-block line
of people waiting for you.
Copy !req
1127. It's a full house.
We're sold out!
Copy !req
1128. Really?
Yes!
Copy !req
1129. And the French
ambassador's coming.
Copy !req
1130. The Prince of Saudi Arabia's
bringing one of his wives.
Copy !req
1131. And I didn't want to tell you
this, but Martin Scorsees...
Copy !req
1132. is casting his new film, and...
Don't tell anybody.
Copy !req
1133. No, I won't.
Okay?
Copy !req
1134. Okay?
Copy !req
1135. Okay. Yeah, yeah, I can be ready.
I can be ready.
Copy !req
1136. Good.
Thank you.
Copy !req
1137. How is he?
Copy !req
1138. He'll be fine.
Copy !req
1139. Poor creature.
Copy !req
1140. Is it true? Scorsese?
Copy !req
1141. Yeah.
And the new Pope, too.
Copy !req
1142. You're an asshole, Jake!
Copy !req
1143. I'm the one
keeping this afloat!
Copy !req
1144. Are you okay?
Copy !req
1145. Yeah. Yeah.
Copy !req
1146. I think I cut my hand shaving.
Copy !req
1147. Well, I just
wanted to say... I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1148. What for?
Copy !req
1149. I knew what
Mike was capable of
Copy !req
1150. and I brought him
in anyway.
Copy !req
1151. No, no, no.
You did good.
Copy !req
1152. Are you kidding?
You did great.
Copy !req
1153. Tomorrow's my first opening
night on Broadway.
Copy !req
1154. Mine, too.
Copy !req
1155. And I just want to let you know
that, no matter what happens...
Copy !req
1156. I'm really
grateful to you.
Copy !req
1157. Oh, no, no, no.
Me, too.
Copy !req
1158. This is exciting.
Copy !req
1159. We have a full house.
Jake just told me.
Copy !req
1160. Yeah, it's great.
Copy !req
1161. Oh, God.
Copy !req
1162. For fuck's sake,
just jump already.
Copy !req
1163. How'd you know
I'd be up here?
Copy !req
1164. Well, I didn't know,
but I kind of hoped maybe.
Copy !req
1165. Where is Lesley?
Copy !req
1166. Lesley?
Uh, Lesley's moving on.
Copy !req
1167. Smart girl.
Copy !req
1168. Oh, thank you. I appreciate that support.
Copy !req
1169. You ready for
your last preview?
Copy !req
1170. Sure, yeah.
Copy !req
1171. Who did that to you?
Copy !req
1172. Could have been
anybody, I guess.
Copy !req
1173. Yes.
Copy !req
1174. I'm sort of hoping
it was Lesley.
Copy !req
1175. It wasn't Lesley.
Copy !req
1176. Oh, my God.
Copy !req
1177. Are you fucking kidding me? No.
Copy !req
1178. Jesus Christ!
Copy !req
1179. I think maybe
I deserved it.
Copy !req
1180. Fuck.
Copy !req
1181. Fuck.
Copy !req
1182. Tell me something.
Copy !req
1183. What is the worst thing
that he did to you?
Copy !req
1184. Seriously.
Copy !req
1185. He was never around.
Copy !req
1186. Yeah? I mean, so what?
That was it?
Copy !req
1187. No. It was how he tried
to make up for it...
Copy !req
1188. by constantly trying to
convince me that I was special.
Copy !req
1189. Okay. Look.
Copy !req
1190. Look at me.
Copy !req
1191. He was right, though.
Copy !req
1192. About what?
Copy !req
1193. About your being special.
Copy !req
1194. You've been hanging
around here...
Copy !req
1195. trying to make
yourself invisible
Copy !req
1196. behind this fragile
little fuck-up routine...
Copy !req
1197. but you can't.
Copy !req
1198. You're anything but invisible.
You're big.
Copy !req
1199. You're kind of
a great mess.
Copy !req
1200. It's like a candle burning at
both ends, but it's beautiful.
Copy !req
1201. No amount of booze or weed or
attitude is going to hide that.
Copy !req
1202. I'm glad you're an actor and not a
writer, 'cause that was, like...
Copy !req
1203. Oprah...
Copy !req
1204. Hallmark...
Copy !req
1205. R. Kelly bad.
Copy !req
1206. Yeah, well, I wasn't—
Copy !req
1207. Mmm...
Copy !req
1208. Truth or dare?
Copy !req
1209. Truth.
No.
Copy !req
1210. Truth.
No.
Copy !req
1211. Truth or dare?
Copy !req
1212. Do you have any idea
where you're going?
Copy !req
1213. Absolutely not.
Copy !req
1214. How do you do it?
Copy !req
1215. Do what?
Copy !req
1216. Go out there
every single night
Copy !req
1217. and pretend to be somebody else
in front of all those people?
Copy !req
1218. I don't pretend out there.
I told you.
Copy !req
1219. I pretend just about every
place else, but not out there.
Copy !req
1220. That's a shame.
Copy !req
1221. What are we doing here?
Copy !req
1222. What do you mean?
Copy !req
1223. I mean, what are
we doing here?
Copy !req
1224. By the time we got to
the hospital, the kid was dead.
Copy !req
1225. So we took the old couple
up to the O.R.
Copy !req
1226. We worked like
hell on them...
Copy !req
1227. through most of the night.
Copy !req
1228. The husband, the old man, was
depressed for the longest time.
Copy !req
1229. Even after I told him the wife would
pull through, he was still depressed.
Copy !req
1230. So I went up to the mouth
hole and I asked him.
Copy !req
1231. And he told me it was because
he couldn't see her...
Copy !req
1232. the wife,
through the eye holes.
Copy !req
1233. Can you imagine?
Copy !req
1234. I'm telling you, this guy's
heart was breaking...
Copy !req
1235. because he couldn't turn his
goddamn head to see his goddamn wife.
Copy !req
1236. So...
Copy !req
1237. I guess the question
we should ask ourselves is...
Copy !req
1238. what do we talk about
when we talk about love?
Copy !req
1239. Mel and I had been
together five years...
Copy !req
1240. and I don't know how many
times I've heard "I love you,"
Copy !req
1241. but it wasn't
until that night...
Copy !req
1242. The blood rig
should be good now.
Copy !req
1243. Be ready to go
in two minutes.
Copy !req
1244. That was amazing!
Copy !req
1245. Yeah, good, right?
Copy !req
1246. It's actually going well.
Copy !req
1247. Yeah.
Copy !req
1248. I think we need to talk.
Copy !req
1249. No, no.
Copy !req
1250. Yeah, I guess
you're right...
Copy !req
1251. but we will eventually,
because that's the only way
Copy !req
1252. I'll get a chance
to say I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1253. I really am sorry.
Copy !req
1254. We'd have made great parents.
Copy !req
1255. Horrible.
We'd have been...
Copy !req
1256. awful.
We'd have raised...
Copy !req
1257. a serial killer. Or Justin Bieber.
Copy !req
1258. I really wanted
to be a mom.
Copy !req
1259. But my body doesn't
seem to agree.
Copy !req
1260. When I imagined
myself on Broadway,
Copy !req
1261. I never saw
the dancing reindeer.
Copy !req
1262. Nice touch.
Copy !req
1263. In the days before Nick's
depression started to eat away at him...
Copy !req
1264. he had no idea
I was pregnant...
Copy !req
1265. and I never intended
to tell him.
Copy !req
1266. I guess we make
choices in life,
Copy !req
1267. and we choose to live with them.
Copy !req
1268. Or not.
Copy !req
1269. I didn't want that baby.
Copy !req
1270. Not because I didn't love
Nick, and not because
Copy !req
1271. I didn't love the idea
of it, but because...
Copy !req
1272. I just wasn't ready
to love myself.
Copy !req
1273. There's a distance
to it all now.
Copy !req
1274. Hey, Jimmy,
you got a smoke?
Copy !req
1275. Jimmy! Jimmy!
Copy !req
1276. Jimmy!
Copy !req
1277. Shit!
Copy !req
1278. Fuck!
Copy !req
1279. Fuck.
Copy !req
1280. Hey, aren't you
Riggan Thomson?
Copy !req
1281. Holy shit,
let me get an autograph.
Copy !req
1282. Don't be a dick.
Give me an autograph.
Copy !req
1283. Dude, you rock!
Copy !req
1284. Birdman!
Copy !req
1285. Oh, shit!
Copy !req
1286. Oh, my God!
You know who that is?
Copy !req
1287. Oh,
can we take one picture!
Copy !req
1288. Just one picture!
Kids, get next to him!
Copy !req
1289. You suck!
Copy !req
1290. You suuuuckll
Copy !req
1291. Hey, Birdman!
Copy !req
1292. Riggan, I'm missing him.
Copy !req
1293. It's the Bird-fucking-man!
Hey, come look at this guy!
Copy !req
1294. Birdman! Hey, Birdman,
whooo, look at that!
Copy !req
1295. Where you going, man?
Copy !req
1296. You look so old
in person.
Copy !req
1297. Fuck you!
Copy !req
1298. Sir! Sir!
Where are you going?
Copy !req
1299. Sir! Where are you—? Sir!
Copy !req
1300. What are you doing?
Copy !req
1301. Waiting for Jake. This is
my attorney, Mr. Roth.
Copy !req
1302. We're pursuing financial
remunerations for the injuries—
Copy !req
1303. I got a play to do!
Copy !req
1304. Sir, you can't go in there!
Copy !req
1305. MR. Actors Equity is
a very strong union, sir!
Copy !req
1306. Knock, knock, knock!
Terri! Terri!
Copy !req
1307. Ed?
Copy !req
1308. What are you doing here?
Copy !req
1309. Why? I just need
you to tell me why?
Copy !req
1310. Take it easy, Ed.
I know this is hard.
Copy !req
1311. 3:: Fuck You!
Copy !req
1312. Shut up!
Copy !req
1313. Eddie, please!
Copy !req
1314. What's wrong with me?
Copy !req
1315. Why do I always... beg
people to love me?
Copy !req
1316. Eddie, please,
just... just give me the gun.
Copy !req
1317. I just wanted to
be what you wanted.
Copy !req
1318. Now I spend
every fucking day...
Copy !req
1319. trying to be
somebody I'm not!
Copy !req
1320. Put the gun down. She doesn't love you!
Copy !req
1321. Eddie.
Copy !req
1322. Look at me.
I was drowning.
Copy !req
1323. I'm just not capable of that
kind of—
Copy !req
1324. You deserve to be loved,
Eddie. You do.
Copy !req
1325. I just wanted
to be what you wanted.
Copy !req
1326. Mr. Roth?
Okay, don't leave, please.
Copy !req
1327. Is that a threat?
What wheelchair?
Copy !req
1328. Okay, Mr. Roth, please hear me out.
Will you?
Copy !req
1329. Don't hang up.
Don't hang up.
Copy !req
1330. Give me 10 minutes
to grab my things,
Copy !req
1331. give me 10 minutes and
we can— Don't hang up.
Copy !req
1332. Goddamn it!
The motherfucker hung up!
Copy !req
1333. Dad.
Copy !req
1334. Dad!
Copy !req
1335. Are you... okay?
Copy !req
1336. Why?
Copy !req
1337. You seem sort of...
Copy !req
1338. No, I'm good, I'm good.
Copy !req
1339. This is good. You want some?
Copy !req
1340. No.
Copy !req
1341. Do you really think you'll be
ready for opening tomorrow?
Copy !req
1342. Yeah. Yep.
Copy !req
1343. Yeah, well, I mean...
Copy !req
1344. previews were
pretty much a train wreck.
Copy !req
1345. We can't seem to get
through a performance...
Copy !req
1346. without a raging fire or a
raging hard-on. I'm broke.
Copy !req
1347. I'm not sleeping,
like, you know... at all.
Copy !req
1348. And, uh, this play is kind
of starting to feel like...
Copy !req
1349. a miniature, deformed version
of myself that just keeps...
Copy !req
1350. following me
around and, like...
Copy !req
1351. hitting me in the balls with,
like, a tiny little hammer.
Copy !req
1352. I'm sorry,
what was the question?
Copy !req
1353. Never mind.
Copy !req
1354. Tonight wasn't bad.
Copy !req
1355. I know.
Copy !req
1356. It was weird,
but it was kind of cool.
Copy !req
1357. Yeah, really?
Copy !req
1358. Yeah, I think
people liked it.
Copy !req
1359. What are you doing?
Homework?
Copy !req
1360. No, I don't-—
Copy !req
1361. No, um— When I was in
rehab, they made us do this.
Copy !req
1362. Really? What is it?
Copy !req
1363. Um... These dashes represent
the six billion years
Copy !req
1364. that the Earth
has been around.
Copy !req
1365. So, each dash represents
a thousand years.
Copy !req
1366. And, um, this... is how long
humans have been here.
Copy !req
1367. 150,000 years.
Copy !req
1368. I think they're
trying to remind us that
Copy !req
1369. that's all our ego and
self-obsession are worth.
Copy !req
1370. I was a shitty father,
wasn't I?
Copy !req
1371. No, you were...
Copy !req
1372. You were fine.
Copy !req
1373. That's right,
I was... I was just fine.
Copy !req
1374. I can't...
Copy !req
1375. Dad?
Copy !req
1376. Oh, shoot. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1377. You just wiped out the
entire human race.
Copy !req
1378. There it goes. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1379. Um...
Copy !req
1380. You're becoming
a trending topic.
Copy !req
1381. Really?
Copy !req
1382. I should probably tell you about
this before anybody else does.
Copy !req
1383. 350,000 views in
less than an hour.
Copy !req
1384. Fuck.
Copy !req
1385. Believe or not,
this is power.
Copy !req
1386. MAN". Hey, look,
it's Riggan Thomson!
Copy !req
1387. Look at that!
Copy !req
1388. One million, three hundred
thousand hits in the last 2 hours.
Copy !req
1389. That's Birdman
actor Riggan Thomson.
Copy !req
1390. Give me another one.
Copy !req
1391. You got it.
Copy !req
1392. That takes a lot of balls.
Copy !req
1393. Or not.
Ouch!
Copy !req
1394. What do you have
to do to get a job these days?
Copy !req
1395. Why must actors
have to resort to this?
Copy !req
1396. That's going over
to Ms. Dickinson.
Copy !req
1397. Give me a minute.
Copy !req
1398. Hey, um, that's on me.
She's a friend of mine.
Copy !req
1399. Okay. No problem.
Copy !req
1400. Thank you.
Copy !req
1401. That was...
Copy !req
1402. twenty years before I put
on that goddamn outfit.
Copy !req
1403. I don't care.
Copy !req
1404. Okay. I was just...
Copy !req
1405. You know, before
you come tomorrow night.
Copy !req
1406. It doesn't matter.
Copy !req
1407. I'm going to
destroy your play.
Copy !req
1408. But you didn't even see it.
Copy !req
1409. Um, you know, did I do
something to offend you?
Copy !req
1410. Actually, you did.
Copy !req
1411. You occupied
a theater which
Copy !req
1412. might have been used on
something worthwhile.
Copy !req
1413. Okay. But you don't even know
if it's any good or not.
Copy !req
1414. That's true. I haven't read a word
of it, or even seen a preview...
Copy !req
1415. but after
the opening tomorrow,
Copy !req
1416. I'm going to turn in the worst
review anybody has ever read.
Copy !req
1417. And I'm going to
close your play.
Copy !req
1418. Would you like to know why?
Copy !req
1419. Because I hate you,
and everyone you represent.
Copy !req
1420. Entitled, selfish,
spoiled children.
Copy !req
1421. Blissfully untrained,
unversed and unprepared...
Copy !req
1422. to even attempt real art.
Copy !req
1423. Handing each other awards
for cartoons and pornography.
Copy !req
1424. Measuring your
worth in weekends?
Copy !req
1425. Well, this is the theater.
Copy !req
1426. You don't get to
come here and pretend
Copy !req
1427. you can write,
direct and act...
Copy !req
1428. in your own
propaganda piece
Copy !req
1429. without coming
through me first.
Copy !req
1430. Ah.
So break a leg.
Copy !req
1431. Wow. So what has to
happen in a person's life
Copy !req
1432. for them to become
a critic, anyway?
Copy !req
1433. What are you writing,
a review?
Copy !req
1434. Huh? Is it any good?
Copy !req
1435. Is it bad? Did you even see it?
Let me read it.
Copy !req
1436. I will call the police.
Copy !req
1437. No, you won't. Let's read
your fucking review.
Copy !req
1438. "Callow." Callow is a label.
Copy !req
1439. "Lackluster."
That's just a label.
Copy !req
1440. "Marginalia"? Are you kidding me?
Copy !req
1441. It sounds like you need
penicillin to clear that up.
Copy !req
1442. That's a label, too. These are all labels.
You just label everything.
Copy !req
1443. That's so fucking lazy.
You're a lazy fucker.
Copy !req
1444. You're a lazy—
Copy !req
1445. Do you know what this is?
Do you even know what it is?
Copy !req
1446. You don't. You know why?
Copy !req
1447. Because you can't
see this thing
Copy !req
1448. if you don't know
how to label it.
Copy !req
1449. You mistake those noises in
your head for true knowledge.
Copy !req
1450. Are you finished?
No.
Copy !req
1451. There's nothing in here about
technique, about structure...
Copy !req
1452. about intention. It's just
a bunch of crappy opinions...
Copy !req
1453. backed up by even
crappier comparisons.
Copy !req
1454. You write a couple paragraphs,
and you know what?
Copy !req
1455. None of this costs
you fucking anything.
Copy !req
1456. You risk nothing.
Nothing, nothing, nothing!
Copy !req
1457. Well, I'm a fucking actor.
Copy !req
1458. This play cost me everything.
Copy !req
1459. So I'll tell you what.
You take this fucking...
Copy !req
1460. malicious, cowardly...
Copy !req
1461. shittily written review and you
shove it right the fuck up...
Copy !req
1462. your wrinkly... tight ass.
Copy !req
1463. You're no actor,
you're a celebrity.
Copy !req
1464. Let's be clear on that.
Copy !req
1465. I'm going to
kill your play.
Copy !req
1466. Tomorrow...
Copy !req
1467. and tomorrow...
Copy !req
1468. and tomorrow,
Copy !req
1469. Creeps in this...
Copy !req
1470. —Petty pace...
Copy !req
1471. from day to day...
Copy !req
1472. to the last... syllable...
Copy !req
1473. of recorded time;
Copy !req
1474. And...
Copy !req
1475. all of our yesterdays...
Copy !req
1476. have lighted...
Copy !req
1477. fools...
Copy !req
1478. A pint of whiskey,
please.
Copy !req
1479. the way
to dusty death.
Copy !req
1480. Out . . . out...
Copy !req
1481. $6.50, my friend.
Copy !req
1482. $6.50 Uh?
Copy !req
1483. Here... I don't know what
that is, just take it.
Copy !req
1484. But your—
Copy !req
1485. Life is but
a walking shadow,
Copy !req
1486. A poor...
Copy !req
1487. —Player...
Copy !req
1488. that struts and frets
his hour upon the stage...
Copy !req
1489. and then is heard...
Copy !req
1490. no more!
Copy !req
1491. It is a tale...
Copy !req
1492. told by an idiot...
Copy !req
1493. full of sound and fury...
Copy !req
1494. signifying nothing!
Copy !req
1495. Where you going, man?
Was that too much?
Copy !req
1496. I was just trying
to give you a range.
Copy !req
1497. It's a little bit too much.
I can tell, because you—
Copy !req
1498. I just want to
give you a range.
Copy !req
1499. That was a little too much.
It was a little too much.
Copy !req
1500. God, you look
like shit, brother.
Copy !req
1501. You get that mongoloid look
when you're hung over.
Copy !req
1502. Yeah.
Copy !req
1503. Let's go. Come on. Get up.
Copy !req
1504. It's a beautiful day.
Copy !req
1505. Forget about
the Times... everyone else has.
Copy !req
1506. Come on. Stand up!
Copy !req
1507. So you're not a great actor.
Who cares?
Copy !req
1508. You're much more than that.
Copy !req
1509. You tower over these
other theater douchebags.
Copy !req
1510. You're a movie star, man!
Copy !req
1511. You're a global force!
Don't you get it?
Copy !req
1512. You spent your life
building a bank account
Copy !req
1513. and a reputation—
and you blew 'em both.
Copy !req
1514. Good for you.
Copy !req
1515. Fuck it.
We'll make a comeback.
Copy !req
1516. They're waiting for something huge.
Well, give it to them.
Copy !req
1517. Shave off that pathetic goatee.
Get some surgery!
Copy !req
1518. Sixty's the new thirty,
motherfucker.
Copy !req
1519. You're the original. You paved
the way for these other clowns.
Copy !req
1520. Give the people
what they want—
Copy !req
1521. old-fashioned
apocalyptic porn.
Copy !req
1522. The Phoenix Rises.
Copy !req
1523. Pimple-faced gamers
creaming in their pants.
Copy !req
1524. A billion worldwide,
guaranteed!
Copy !req
1525. You are larger
than life, man.
Copy !req
1526. You save people from their
boring, miserable lives.
Copy !req
1527. You make them jump, laugh,
shit their pants.
Copy !req
1528. All you have to do is—
Copy !req
1529. That's what
I'm talking about.
Copy !req
1530. Bones rattling!
Big, loud, fast!
Copy !req
1531. Look at these people, at their
eyes— they're sparkling.
Copy !req
1532. They love this shit. They love blood.
They love action.
Copy !req
1533. Not this talky, depressing,
philosophical bullshit.
Copy !req
1534. Yes.
Copy !req
1535. And the next
time you screech...
Copy !req
1536. it'll explode into
millions of eardrums.
Copy !req
1537. You'll glimmer on thousands
of screens around the globe.
Copy !req
1538. Another blockbuster.
Copy !req
1539. You are a god.
Copy !req
1540. See? There you go,
you motherfucker.
Copy !req
1541. Gravity doesn't
even apply to you.
Copy !req
1542. Wait till you see the faces of those
who thought we were finished.
Copy !req
1543. Listen to me.
Let's go back one more time
Copy !req
1544. and show them what
we're capable of.
Copy !req
1545. We have to end it on our own terms...
with a grand gesture.
Copy !req
1546. Flames. Sacrifice.
Copy !req
1547. Icarus.
Copy !req
1548. You can do it.
Copy !req
1549. You hear me?
Copy !req
1550. You are—
Copy !req
1551. Birdman!
Copy !req
1552. Hey! Is this for real,
or are you shooting a film?
Copy !req
1553. A film!
Copy !req
1554. You people are full of shit!
Copy !req
1555. Hey, man,
can I help you?
Copy !req
1556. Be careful.
Copy !req
1557. Sorry, I can't talk.
I'm late.
Copy !req
1558. Music.
Copy !req
1559. You okay, man?
Copy !req
1560. You want me to call
somebody for you?
Copy !req
1561. Do you know where to go?
Copy !req
1562. Yeah.
Copy !req
1563. I know where to go.
Copy !req
1564. Oh! Hey!
Copy !req
1565. Oh! Oh!
Copy !req
1566. Whoa!
Copy !req
1567. You see?
Copy !req
1568. This is where you belong.
Copy !req
1569. Above them all.
Copy !req
1570. Stop the music.
Copy !req
1571. I beg your pardon?
Copy !req
1572. Sir, you did not pay me!
Copy !req
1573. What are you doing?
Where are you going?
Copy !req
1574. This guy didn't
pay me. He's fucking crazy!
Copy !req
1575. Not a bad
first act, huh?
Copy !req
1576. Not bad at all.
Copy !req
1577. It's going really well.
Copy !req
1578. I didn't think
he could do Broadway.
Copy !req
1579. I never would
have expected it.
Copy !req
1580. If the 2nd act
is half as good...
Copy !req
1581. It's pretty glorious.
Copy !req
1582. What do we talk about when
we talk about Riggan Thomson?
Copy !req
1583. How long
is the intermission?
Copy !req
1584. Birdman can act.
Copy !req
1585. Whoa.
Copy !req
1586. I just came to say hello.
Copy !req
1587. It's going great out there.
You're so good.
Copy !req
1588. I mean it. I really mean it.
Copy !req
1589. Places
for the final scene, Riggan.
Copy !req
1590. Do you need to...?
Copy !req
1591. No, it's fine.
Just sit here for a second.
Copy !req
1592. Look at all these roses.
Copy !req
1593. I hate roses.
Copy !req
1594. And you hate roses.
Copy !req
1595. Are you okay? You seem...
Copy !req
1596. I don't know,
you seem abnormally calm.
Copy !req
1597. I am calm.
Copy !req
1598. I'm great, actually.
Copy !req
1599. You know...
Copy !req
1600. I got this little voice...
talks to me sometimes.
Copy !req
1601. Tells me the truth.
Copy !req
1602. It's comforting.
Copy !req
1603. Kind of scary,
but it is comforting.
Copy !req
1604. I'm going to pretend I
didn't hear you say that.
Copy !req
1605. Okay.
Copy !req
1606. You wouldn't believe
the crowd outside.
Copy !req
1607. They said some people
paid up to $500 a ticket.
Copy !req
1608. Really?
Copy !req
1609. Hey.
Copy !req
1610. Can I tell you
something funny?
Copy !req
1611. Remember our last
anniversary party?
Copy !req
1612. Seriously? You want
to ruin a nice moment?
Copy !req
1613. Do you remember'?
Copy !req
1614. You fucked Janet
Rossbach in our bed.
Copy !req
1615. Skip over that part.
Copy !req
1616. Oh, gladly.
Copy !req
1617. You threw all the guests
out of the house...
Copy !req
1618. and you threw all
the furniture out the window.
Copy !req
1619. I remember. Locked
yourself in the bathroom.
Copy !req
1620. Why are we
talking about...?
Copy !req
1621. I drove out to...
Copy !req
1622. Malibu.
Copy !req
1623. I just sat on the beach for a
while, looking out at the ocean.
Copy !req
1624. Riggan.
Copy !req
1625. And I walked...
Copy !req
1626. straight into the water.
Copy !req
1627. And then I tried
to drown myself.
Copy !req
1628. I was up to my chest
when I felt the first one.
Copy !req
1629. On my back,
it was like somebody was
Copy !req
1630. holding a frying pan to
me and really burning.
Copy !req
1631. And then they were on my
chest and all over my legs.
Copy !req
1632. The water was full
of jellyfish.
Copy !req
1633. They were all over me.
Copy !req
1634. I had to fight my way out of the
water and went up to the beach.
Copy !req
1635. I was rolling around
like a maniac in the sand...
Copy !req
1636. crying.
Copy !req
1637. You said it was a sunburn.
Copy !req
1638. I know.
And you believed me.
Copy !req
1639. To be honest,
I didn't give a shit.
Copy !req
1640. I love you.
Copy !req
1641. And I love Sam.
Copy !req
1642. I know.
Copy !req
1643. I really wish I hadn't
videotaped her birth.
Copy !req
1644. Why?
Copy !req
1645. 'Cause...
Copy !req
1646. I missed
the moment, really.
Copy !req
1647. I don't have it.
Copy !req
1648. I should have just been
there with the two of you.
Copy !req
1649. You know... just
the three of us.
Copy !req
1650. But I wasn't.
Copy !req
1651. I wasn't even present in my own
life, and now I don't have it...
Copy !req
1652. and I'm never
going to have it.
Copy !req
1653. You have Sam.
Copy !req
1654. Not really, I don't.
I mean, she's...
Copy !req
1655. No, she's just
going through—
Copy !req
1656. No, I get it,
I understand.
Copy !req
1657. She needed to have a dad...
Copy !req
1658. and instead she got
this guy who was a...
Copy !req
1659. three-day
viral sensation.
Copy !req
1660. It is so pathetic,
I can't...
Copy !req
1661. There are things
more pathetic than that.
Copy !req
1662. Yeah, like?
Copy !req
1663. That moustache.
Copy !req
1664. Riggan, we are in the motel.
Copy !req
1665. Last scene has started.
You're not here.
Copy !req
1666. Last chance for "places."
Copy !req
1667. You better get
back to your seat.
Copy !req
1668. Twenty little leopards
laughed at two lofty lions.
Copy !req
1669. Twenty little leopards
laughed at two lofty lions.
Copy !req
1670. Twenty little leopards
laughed at two lofty lions.
Copy !req
1671. Break a leg, Mr. Thomson.
Copy !req
1672. Let me put the blood rig on.
Copy !req
1673. Riggan!
Copy !req
1674. Terri!
Copy !req
1675. Terri!
Copy !req
1676. Eddie! What are you
doing here?
Copy !req
1677. Why? I just want
you to tell me why.
Copy !req
1678. Shut up!
Eddie, please!
Copy !req
1679. What's the matter with me?
Copy !req
1680. Tell me. Why do I always have
to beg people to love me?
Copy !req
1681. Eddie, please,
give me the gun.
Copy !req
1682. It was me. I was drowning.
I'm just not capable of—
Copy !req
1683. You deserve
to be loved, Eddie. You do.
Copy !req
1684. I just wanted to be what you wanted.
What you wanted.
Copy !req
1685. Now I spend every
fucking minute trying
Copy !req
1686. to be something else,
something I'm not.
Copy !req
1687. Just put
the gun down, Ed.
Copy !req
1688. She doesn't
love you anymore.
Copy !req
1689. You don't, do you?
Copy !req
1690. NO.
Copy !req
1691. And you never will.
Copy !req
1692. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1693. Ah.
Copy !req
1694. I don't exist.
Copy !req
1695. I'm not even here.
Copy !req
1696. I'm not even here.
Copy !req
1697. Bang!
Copy !req
1698. Bang!
Copy !req
1699. Is he up?
Copy !req
1700. He just woke up.
Copy !req
1701. I thought I lost you, buddy.
Copy !req
1702. What the hell happened?
Copy !req
1703. I was watching you onstage
and all of a sudden...
Copy !req
1704. you had that goofy look in your
eye and you just...
Copy !req
1705. What is wrong with you?
He tried to—
Copy !req
1706. I'm happy! He's alive! My
best friend is alive! And...
Copy !req
1707. he's the fucking
man of the hour.
Copy !req
1708. What is that?
Copy !req
1709. You have to be shitting me.
Copy !req
1710. Read it.
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1711. I don't believe this. "The
Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance"?
Copy !req
1712. Read it.
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1713. "By Tabitha Dickinson."
Copy !req
1714. Read it out loud!
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1715. "Thomson has
unwittingly given birth
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1716. "to a new form, which can
only be described as...
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1717. super-realism.
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1718. "Blood was spilled both
literally and metaphorically
Copy !req
1719. "by artist
and audience alike.
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1720. "Real blood.
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1721. "The blood that has
been sorely missing
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1722. "from the veins
of American theater..."
Copy !req
1723. You're happy about this?
Copy !req
1724. Happy?
I'm fucking euphoric!
Copy !req
1725. This is the kind of review that
turns people into living legends!
Copy !req
1726. He shot the nose
off his face!
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1727. He got a new nose!
Copy !req
1728. And if doesn't like that one,
we'll get him a new one!
Copy !req
1729. We'll use Meg Ryan's guy.
Who cares?
Copy !req
1730. They're lighting candles
for him in Central Park.
Copy !req
1731. Turn on the TV.
Copy !req
1732. —a vigil for
actor Riggan Thomson.
Copy !req
1733. They're praying for him all over the
country. He did it. You did it!
Copy !req
1734. I've been reborn, brother.
And I can see the future.
Copy !req
1735. This play is going to
last forever.
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1736. It's going to open
in London, Paris.
Copy !req
1737. The studio will call,
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1738. we're going to get
book deals—you'll see.
Copy !req
1739. So you can see the future?
Copy !req
1740. Yeah, I can!
Copy !req
1741. How about that, huh? Did
you see that coming? Oh.
Copy !req
1742. Why aren't you
saying anything?
Copy !req
1743. This is what you wanted,
wasn't it?
Copy !req
1744. Riggan, this is
what you wanted.
Copy !req
1745. Yeah.
Copy !req
1746. Yeah, this is what I wanted.
Copy !req
1747. Okay, listen.
You're going to get hit
Copy !req
1748. with a "brandishing
a weapon" charge.
Copy !req
1749. If anybody talks to you about
it, it was an accident.
Copy !req
1750. Is that what this was?
Copy !req
1751. An accident?
An accident.
Copy !req
1752. Did you intend
to shoot yourself!
Copy !req
1753. You motherfuckers, this is a hospital!
Get the fuck out of here!
Copy !req
1754. This is a hospital!
Copy !req
1755. Get the fuck out,
you assholes!
Copy !req
1756. Out! This is
a personal matter!
Copy !req
1757. A personal matter!
Copy !req
1758. Hey, Sam!
What did you feel like
Copy !req
1759. the night your father
tried to kill himself?
Copy !req
1760. Lilacs.
Copy !req
1761. Are you laughing?
Copy !req
1762. What's so funny?
Copy !req
1763. I can't smell them.
Copy !req
1764. What are you doing?
Copy !req
1765. Posting a photo of you
on your Twitter page.
Copy !req
1766. I have a Twitter page?
Copy !req
1767. Yeah, I set it up today.
Copy !req
1768. Let me see.
No way.
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1769. You look hideous.
Copy !req
1770. Oh, wow, thank you.
I appreciate it.
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1771. I'm just kidding.
Copy !req
1772. No, I'm actually not.
You do look hideous.
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1773. You got 80,000 followers
in less than a day.
Copy !req
1774. Really?
Copy !req
1775. I'm going to scare
the shit out of them.
Copy !req
1776. Let me look at it.
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1777. Mmm-mmm. It's done.
Copy !req
1778. Uh, I'm going to get
a vase for the flowers.
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1779. Oh.
Copy !req
1780. Ah.
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1781. Ah.
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1782. Ah.
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1783. Bye-bye... and fuck you.
Copy !req
1784. Dad?
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1785. Dad?
Copy !req
1786. Dad?
Copy !req