1. Ready?Copy !req
2. Ready?Copy !req
3. FBI.Copy !req
4. Throw that piece of shit in there.
No, wait.Copy !req
5. Whoa!Copy !req
6. Sit down and shut up,
you old fool.Copy !req
7. Ten thousand, hm?Copy !req
8. On... bug-eye boy.
What?Copy !req
9. Big balls, huh?
Big cojones, huh?Copy !req
10. I'll take that bet.
Ready? And fight!Copy !req
11. Y'all never heard of Soul, Korea?Copy !req
12. FBI! Everybody freeze!
Don't move!Copy !req
13. John! John!
Uh... A little help down here, please?Copy !req
14. No doubt. Are you all right?Copy !req
15. I'm just takin' a bath
with Old Yeller down here.Copy !req
16. Could you open the cage? I'm a married man.
I'm not used to this much attention.Copy !req
17. Satellite TV and a six-pack
do not a full life make.Copy !req
18. You gotta understand.
I'm not like you. OK?Copy !req
19. On the street,
I gotta keep it simple.Copy !req
20. You know what I mean? I can't have
a family and home out there distracting me.Copy !req
21. Funny. I couldn't be out there without it.Copy !req
22. OK. We've got a live one, people.
Conference room in five.Copy !req
23. Oh. Malcolm. Didn't recognize you with
the make-up off. Got the Michaels file?Copy !req
24. Got it.
Good. Bring it here.Copy !req
25. I'm just sayin', on the
street I can't have noCopy !req
26. distractions. I gotta
be ready for anything.Copy !req
27. Nice.
You too grown for this shit, man!Copy !req
28. A prison escape leaves one man dead.Copy !req
29. Lester Vesco, serving
a life sentence for murder...Copy !req
30. has escaped from a federal penitentiary.Copy !req
31. He is seen here on security cameras
robbing the Century Union Bank.Copy !req
32. Vesco is extremely dangerous.
Oh, my God.Copy !req
33. What's wrong?Copy !req
34. Nothing's wrong.
Nothing's wrong.Copy !req
35. You know, how would you like
to go on a little vacation?Copy !req
36. I don't know. We've never been on one.
How fast can you get ready?Copy !req
37. Ready.
Hey...Copy !req
38. Well, you look... You look ready to me.Copy !req
39. Grab your medicine.Copy !req
40. Got your seat belt on?Copy !req
41. Yup.
Let's roll.Copy !req
42. Lester Vesco.
Not a nice man, people.Copy !req
43. Two years ago, he robbed a bank,
popped a guard and the bank manager...Copy !req
44. and walked out with two million
in cash and bearer bonds.Copy !req
45. We got him, but the money
was never recovered.Copy !req
46. Twelve hours ago,
he killed a prison doctor...Copy !req
47. and drove out the front gate
in the man's Volvo. Very creative.Copy !req
48. What about the girl from the robbery?
Lester's girlfriend... Sherry Pierce.Copy !req
49. Never convicted. Worked in the bank.Copy !req
50. So she gives him access
to the vault...Copy !req
51. cries on the stand and
walks away with two million large.Copy !req
52. Exactly. But we never proved it.Copy !req
53. She's pretty smart.
Keeps a low profile, works two shit jobs.Copy !req
54. Now it looks like she's in the wind.Copy !req
55. So, we find her,
we find Lester, we find the money.Copy !req
56. What about this stepbrother
in Oakland?Copy !req
57. You and Gallagher take it.
Get some warrants. Set up a surveillance.Copy !req
58. Great. Malcolm and I can stay here...Copy !req
59. and hit the phones.
Hey!Copy !req
60. No, no. I've got something special
planned for you two.Copy !req
61. Sherry's got a long-lost grandmother
in Cartersville, Georgia.Copy !req
62. And who knows, Malcolm? Maybe you'll find
an Armani outlet... by the Piggly Wiggly.Copy !req
63. All right, that's all, people.Copy !req
64. There's Big Momma.
What a classic scene.Copy !req
65. Genteel old lady, pruning her roses.Copy !req
66. Lord, I done told Sadie about this dog.Copy !req
67. Let me catch you here again
and I'll barbecue some hot dog!Copy !req
68. Got it.
You know what, man?Copy !req
69. Erskine and Stoner probably caught
that girl Sherry two days ago.Copy !req
70. They just wanted us to sit here
pickin' ticks off our asses.Copy !req
71. Nobody's tried to kill you for days.
The stress must be overwhelming.Copy !req
72. I'm just here to catch a bad guy.
If it goes down hard, so be it.Copy !req
73. If we could get in to
plant the surveillanceCopy !req
74. equipment, we wouldn't
be stuck here.Copy !req
75. Hey! What do we have here?Copy !req
76. Must be one of those Southern traditions.
Exchanging baked goods in the street.Copy !req
77. Nah, nah. You bring them over.
That's how you meet the new neighbors.Copy !req
78. Oh, man.Copy !req
79. Where are you going?
While she's out, I'll set the surveillance.Copy !req
80. OK? Stall 'em.Copy !req
81. Stall them?
Trust me.Copy !req
82. Malcolm!
Four and a half minutes.Copy !req
83. Well, how-dee, ladies!
Hello, neighbor.Copy !req
84. Welcome to Maple Drive.
We hope you will come to love...Copy !req
85. Oh, shut up and give the man your
dry old Bundt cake so I can go home.Copy !req
86. Oh, you'll have to excuse Hattie Mae.
Her stomach's not feelin' too good.Copy !req
87. I'm Miss Patterson...Copy !req
88. and this is
Miss Other Patterson.Copy !req
89. We call her that because she's from
a whole different set of Pattersons.Copy !req
90. My name's John.
John what?Copy !req
91. Patterson! Isn't that a weird coincidence?
Yes, it is.Copy !req
92. Hey, maybe we're all related.Copy !req
93. Um... I used to be married,
but not anymore.Copy !req
94. Oh, Lord! Is she with Jesus?Copy !req
95. Uh, no. Actually, Jesús,
I think, is how he pronounces it.Copy !req
96. He was the gardener.Copy !req
97. I caught him spreadin' fertilizer
in the bedroom, if you know what I mean.Copy !req
98. Oh, 'scuse me, honey. Here's
your corn bread. I got to go.Copy !req
99. No, you can't!
Ladies, it was really a pleasure.Copy !req
100. Wait. You can't leave.Copy !req
101. Where's this great Southern hospitality
I've heard about, Hattie Mae?Copy !req
102. If I can call you that.Copy !req
103. I was hoping we could sit in the front
porch and shuck corn, shoot squirrels...Copy !req
104. Boy, you ain't right. Did somebody
hook you up to a jumper cable?Copy !req
105. When I say I got to go, move - I got to go!Copy !req
106. Wait! Wait!
Uh-uh!Copy !req
107. I'm not crazy, just a little lonely.
We could spend some quality time together.Copy !req
108. Say! You know what I do
when I have an upset stomach?Copy !req
109. I jog! Yes! Come on!Copy !req
110. It's good when you got the runs.
Come on, me and you around the block.Copy !req
111. Listen, either I can go around you, or I
can go through you. Whichever you decide.Copy !req
112. Fine!Copy !req
113. Oh... shit!Copy !req
114. No... No! No.Copy !req
115. You cannot go in there.
You're sayin' I can't go in my own house?Copy !req
116. No, I'm telling you, you cannot go
in there without giving me a big...Copy !req
117. Southern welcome!Copy !req
118. Yeah!Copy !req
119. That's it. A little sugar on it.Copy !req
120. If you want a second helping,
let me know...Copy !req
121. cos I got two knees!
No, I'm good. God bless ya.Copy !req
122. Cos I got to go!
Yeah. Thanks for the corn bread.Copy !req
123. Jesus, let me just make it to the bathroom
before I lose my bowels all over myself.Copy !req
124. Wooh! Jesus.Copy !req
125. Whoa. Will I make it? Ah!Copy !req
126. Have mercy, Lord.Copy !req
127. Ooh, those stewed prunes!Copy !req
128. They just goin' right straight through me!Copy !req
129. I done seen a lot of
scary shit in my day...Copy !req
130. but damn -that was a lotta ass.Copy !req
131. I think I need a splint
or somethin'.Copy !req
132. Just... I'll be all right.Copy !req
133. "Dr Green. Wilshire Pediatrics."Copy !req
134. Here we go.Copy !req
135. Ah, God.Copy !req
136. Miss it. Miss it. Miss it.Copy !req
137. Think you can throw me off my shit?Copy !req
138. I'm in the zone.Copy !req
139. Ah! 100 dollars. Come on.Copy !req
140. That shit don't count.
What do you mean?Copy !req
141. You were in my grill.
100 bucks, man.Copy !req
142. Who could be callin' her
at this time of night?Copy !req
143. Oh, Trussy! How ya do...Copy !req
144. Oh, Lord! William's in the hospital again?Copy !req
145. I'll be there. I'm prepared.
I can stay a week or two weeks...Copy !req
146. She's leavin', man. Now's our chance
to tap the phones. Come on.Copy !req
147. Driver, please get me to the bus station.
Yes, ma'am.Copy !req
148. I gotta go and help my friend
out for a couple of weeks.Copy !req
149. Over here.Copy !req
150. Jesus!Copy !req
151. Back up off me.Copy !req
152. Sorry.
Hello. This is Hattie Mae Pierce.Copy !req
153. Go on, leave me a little message.
As soon as ICopy !req
154. get back, I'll give you a shout.
God bless.Copy !req
155. Uh, Big Momma? It's Sherry.Copy !req
156. Surprised, huh?Copy !req
157. Um... Hey, listen.
I was taking a little vacation...Copy !req
158. and I was headed in your direction...Copy !req
159. and I thought maybe
I'd stop in and checkCopy !req
160. on you since I haven't
seen you in a while.Copy !req
161. But it looks like you're not home,
so I'll see you on the next trip.Copy !req
162. No! No, no, no, no, no!
Hang...Copy !req
163. Agh! We lost her.
No. Look, uh...Copy !req
164. And, Big Momma, I just
want you to know, um...Copy !req
165. I know it's been a long time
since we've talked, but...Copy !req
166. I really do love you
and miss you very much.Copy !req
167. Ooh, praise the Lord!Copy !req
168. It's my baby Sherry!Copy !req
169. Big Momma, you're there!Copy !req
170. Hi!
Ow!Copy !req
171. Uh... Yes, I'm here, honey child,
lamb chop, sugar foot.Copy !req
172. Hang up.Copy !req
173. I know things haven't been so great
between us these past couple of years...Copy !req
174. and, um... I just want you to know...Copy !req
175. that your place is the only place
that's ever really felt like home for me.Copy !req
176. And I can't wait to see you
and I love you very much.Copy !req
177. Uh, well, I'm...Copy !req
178. I'm glad it felt like a
home to you, Sherry.Copy !req
179. You hurry home, then. All right?Copy !req
180. And I'm gonna make sure
that I lock you up...Copy !req
181. so you don't get away from me
ever again.Copy !req
182. Bye, Big Momma.
OK, Sherry. Bye-bye.Copy !req
183. What the hell did you just do?
Kept us in play.Copy !req
184. If Big Momma's not here, she'll leave,
and then we have no case!Copy !req
185. Don't worry.Copy !req
186. Big Momma'll be here.Copy !req
187. Hello. This is Hattie Mae Pierce.Copy !req
188. Hello. This is Hattie Mae Pierce.Copy !req
189. Hello. This is Hattie Mae Pierce.Copy !req
190. All right, Trent.
Mind your manners. No back talk.Copy !req
191. And remember... Look at me.Copy !req
192. And remember that our business
is our business.Copy !req
193. They're here. Now here's the earpiece.Copy !req
194. If anybody asks, tell them
it's your new hearing aid.Copy !req
195. How do I look?
Oh, hey...Copy !req
196. If I were an 85-year-old man
with cataracts and a bad hip...Copy !req
197. I'd take a run at you.
Man, shut up.Copy !req
198. Big Momma? We're here!Copy !req
199. Lord, Lord, Lord, Lord, Lord!Copy !req
200. Look what the wind done blew my...
Hi!Copy !req
201. Damn, you fine...Copy !req
202. Sherry, you changed!Copy !req
203. Me? Look at you, Big Momma!
I hardly recognize you!Copy !req
204. Child, that's only make-up.Copy !req
205. Now come on over here and give
your Big Momma a great big hug!Copy !req
206. Oh, Sherry!Copy !req
207. Oh, it's so good to see you,
Big Momma.Copy !req
208. I thought you'd forgotten all about me.
Oh, hush your mouth, child!Copy !req
209. Big Momma could never forget that ass.
What?Copy !req
210. Ma. Asthma.Copy !req
211. Remember you had asthma?Copy !req
212. I remember it like it was yesterday.Copy !req
213. You used to puff and wheeze
somethin' wicked.Copy !req
214. I said "Sherry, are you all right?"
You said...Copy !req
215. Oh, damn.
Big Momma gettin' light-headed.Copy !req
216. Big Momma, maybe we should
take you upstairs.Copy !req
217. Oh, bless your little asthmatic heart.
Aw...Copy !req
218. Who's he?
Oh, Big Momma. That's Trent, my son.Copy !req
219. You haven't seen him
since he was a baby.Copy !req
220. Oh... yeah! Trent!Copy !req
221. Oh, hi, Trent!Copy !req
222. Say hi.
I should've known just by lookin' at him.Copy !req
223. Look at that nappy little grapefruit head.Copy !req
224. You know, it runs in the family.Copy !req
225. Oh!
Yeah, grapefruit heads.Copy !req
226. Your granddaddy had a big-ass head.Copy !req
227. The hotel out by the freeway
had a pool.Copy !req
228. Sweetheart...
He's a quick little one, isn't he?Copy !req
229. Yeah.
They grow up so fast...Copy !req
230. what with the color television an' all.Copy !req
231. But he'll come to find Big Momma
pretty quick herself.Copy !req
232. I'm starving.
Are y'all hungry?Copy !req
233. Actually, we are pretty hungry.
Come on in. I'm here to take care of y'all.Copy !req
234. Come on, Sherry. Come on in.Copy !req
235. Sherry, let me get this bag for you.
Oh, no, Big Momma. I got it.Copy !req
236. You can take mine.Copy !req
237. You are somethin'!
Isn't he?Copy !req
238. You're gonna love
Big Momma's cooking.Copy !req
239. Think it's gonna be
windy today. There's a draft!Copy !req
240. Ooh-ooh!Copy !req
241. There we go!Copy !req
242. See, Sherry, I like to make sure...Copy !req
243. that my food is properly lubricated.Copy !req
244. It goes down easier that way.Copy !req
245. Oh, my God. He's gonna kill her.
This guy can't even make toast.Copy !req
246. Let's see what's in there
to cook now.Copy !req
247. Oooh!Copy !req
248. Ooh! We got some pork chops...Copy !req
249. turkey necks...Copy !req
250. Ooh! Child, you like these?Copy !req
251. One for me...Copy !req
252. Well, I'm probably not gonna eat them,
but you can have mine. All right, Sherry?Copy !req
253. Now, Sherry...Copy !req
254. sit back, watch and learn.Copy !req
255. Malcolm, I don't know how to tell you
this... but your face is falling off!Copy !req
256. Big Momma? Are you OK?Copy !req
257. Where's that pot?
I'm gonna go and start setting the table.Copy !req
258. Yeah, you do that, Sherry.
Where's that pot?Copy !req
259. Hey! Psst! Malcolm!Copy !req
260. What are you doin' over there?Copy !req
261. Hey! What are you doin'?
Take it easy!Copy !req
262. Big Momma, I think you
just had a Peeping Tom.Copy !req
263. Um... That's all right, child.
I get them all the time.Copy !req
264. You do your housework in the nude
and it tends to attract the wrong element.Copy !req
265. Nothin' like a little excitement
to get the blood goin'.Copy !req
266. While I fix dinner...Copy !req
267. tell me what brings you to
Big Momma's house after all these years.Copy !req
268. Well, we were just on a little vacation.Copy !req
269. Middle of the night seems
a funny time to go on vacation.Copy !req
270. I thought you might have been in trouble.Copy !req
271. How did you know we left at night?
I didn't.Copy !req
272. No, no. Oh! Ooh!Copy !req
273. Oooooooh...Copy !req
274. Oh!Copy !req
275. Oh, Big Momma, are you OK?
Oh, yeah.Copy !req
276. Ain't nothin' but some
scaldin' pork grease.Copy !req
277. Here. Let's dry you off.
So what about it, child?Copy !req
278. You in trouble? Is there something
you wanna tell Big Momma?Copy !req
279. Um...Copy !req
280. Big Momma, is that
duct tape on your face?Copy !req
281. Oh, dear! The duct tape.Copy !req
282. I guess you're wonderin'
why I got the duct tape.Copy !req
283. It's a beauty secret.
Really?Copy !req
284. Yes! You never used duct tape
to get rid of them unsightly hairs?Copy !req
285. No. It works particularly
well on the bikini area.Copy !req
286. Really?
No doubt, girl.Copy !req
287. The pork chops are on fire.Copy !req
288. Oooh! Oooh!Copy !req
289. Oh!Copy !req
290. Big Momma! Big Momma, here!Copy !req
291. Who's ready to eat?Copy !req
292. We could always run down
to Ring-A-Ding Burger.Copy !req
293. Get him a Smiley Meal.Copy !req
294. Uh, no, Big Momma! This, um...Copy !req
295. This looks great!Copy !req
296. Well, then, eat up.
Take you a big old forkful.Copy !req
297. Watch it. The plate's hot now.Copy !req
298. Ooh! I hope I didn't put
too much seasoning salt.Copy !req
299. Would you like me to get that for you?
Uh, no. I got it, Sherry.Copy !req
300. Who could it be at this time of night?Copy !req
301. Just a second!Copy !req
302. I wonder who this could be...Copy !req
303. surprisin' me this time of evening!Copy !req
304. I say, I wonder who could be
at my door so late at night!Copy !req
305. There's my sugar!Copy !req
306. Oh! You'd better put that nasty-ass tongue
back in your mouth before I rip it out!Copy !req
307. Yes, ma'am! My mouth is closed!Copy !req
308. But these hands
is open for business.Copy !req
309. Big Momma, who was it?Copy !req
310. Oh, that's just a Bible salesman.Copy !req
311. Sherry, let's go back and finish supper.
You can run, but you can't hide!Copy !req
312. Oh, I'm sorry.
Ben Rawley's the name.Copy !req
313. Pleased to meet you.
Sherry.Copy !req
314. Big Momma, you didn't say you had a man!
Child, I ain't got no man!Copy !req
315. Why, she got every man in town
sniffin' round like dogs.Copy !req
316. I do?
Mm! Do I smell some greens?Copy !req
317. Yeah, come on in. There's plenty.
Oh, no, no! Um...Copy !req
318. Now, Ben, you know
you can't eat no greens.Copy !req
319. Greens give you gas somethin' wicked!Copy !req
320. Last time I had Ben over for greens,
I had to re-wallpaper. Ooh!Copy !req
321. Ben, let me show you to your car.
Hey, wait a minute! Wait a minute!Copy !req
322. You look different.Copy !req
323. Different?
You know, I said the same thing.Copy !req
324. That face and those eyes.
You've changed.Copy !req
325. Changed?
Yes, ma'am.Copy !req
326. You're gettin' younger every day.Copy !req
327. Sherry, say good night to Mr. Rawley.Copy !req
328. - Good night. Nice to meet you.
- Ow!Copy !req
329. Take it easy, Hattie!Copy !req
330. Who the hell
do you think you are?Copy !req
331. Comin' up here, tryin' to put
your nasty-ass lips on me!Copy !req
332. I am not street booty!Copy !req
333. I will not be treated like street poontang!Copy !req
334. Ben, if you wanna get with me...Copy !req
335. I mean... you will never
get with me! Understand?Copy !req
336. And even if I was interested,
which I definitely am not...Copy !req
337. you be goin' about it the wrong way.Copy !req
338. How am I supposed to go about it?
You don't come in a woman's house...Copy !req
339. and lead with
your shaboink-boink!Copy !req
340. Women don't respond to that!Copy !req
341. I should've bought you somethin'.
Like a corsage.Copy !req
342. A cor...? This ain't no damn prom!Copy !req
343. Ben, you gotta bring a woman
somethin' special.Copy !req
344. Somethin' that means it's from your heart.Copy !req
345. Come on. You's a OG, aren't you?Copy !req
346. You's a fake one,
but you's probably a OG, huh?Copy !req
347. All right, well, get it together.Copy !req
348. Thanks, Hattie, baby.
Good. Get your ass outta here.Copy !req
349. Oh, and that seersucker suit?Copy !req
350. Mm-mm. Mm-mm!Copy !req
351. Sherry made a call today. Who was it?Copy !req
352. A Dr Green in Los Angeles.
A refill on the kid's allergy prescription.Copy !req
353. She's done nothing
to try and contact Lester.Copy !req
354. Well, she will.
And when she does...Copy !req
355. we'll be there to catch her.
That's right.Copy !req
356. Superfly!Copy !req
357. You know?Copy !req
358. You wanna give me those,
or have you grown too attached to 'em?Copy !req
359. "Prescription called in for Trent Pierce."Copy !req
360. "Hafarth's Pharmacy,
Cartersville, Georgia."Copy !req
361. I know what you're up to!Copy !req
362. You think you're nickel slick,
but I got your penny change.Copy !req
363. What you talkin'?
I'm just, uh... takin' in a little air.Copy !req
364. You can't fool an old fool.
Sadie's got it all figured out.Copy !req
365. Look, you old bat,
this is a federal...Copy !req
366. The man ain't been here for two days
and you all over him.Copy !req
367. Oh!
You think me and the white...Copy !req
368. No, I don't get down like that.Copy !req
369. Are you drinkin' that corn liquor?
Are you sippin' on the yak?Copy !req
370. Maybe I have.
But somethin's goin' on.Copy !req
371. I got my eye on you two.Copy !req
372. What a day. What a damn day.Copy !req
373. Big Momma, someone's here to see you.
They say it's an emergency.Copy !req
374. Emergency? What kind of emergency?Copy !req
375. Um...Copy !req
376. Your, um...
Oh!Copy !req
377. Oh, that.Copy !req
378. Child, when you get to be my age,
they're like yard dogs.Copy !req
379. If you don't put 'em on a leash, they'll
just roam all over the neighborhood.Copy !req
380. Big Momma, you gotta come out here quick.
What you talkin'?Copy !req
381. Big Momma, it's time.
Time for what?Copy !req
382. Ritha's gonna have her baby.
Oh!Copy !req
383. Oh. That's great.
Thank you for stoppin' by.Copy !req
384. Be sure to send me an
invitation to the baby shower.Copy !req
385. Her water broke comin'
back from the movie.Copy !req
386. The baby's due any minute.Copy !req
387. And you got to deliver it.
Excuse me?Copy !req
388. You're the midwife, aren't you?
Midwife?Copy !req
389. Aaarrghhhhh!Copy !req
390. Big Momma!
Aaaarggghhhh!Copy !req
391. What are you doing?
Screamin'!Copy !req
392. I find that it calms the spirit.Copy !req
393. Matter of fact, let's all scream.Copy !req
394. Good. See? It works.Copy !req
395. It's not like...
I don't know what I'm doin'!Copy !req
396. Take it easy. I've called the paramedics.Copy !req
397. Just stall, and then get out of the way
when they get there. OK?Copy !req
398. All right. OK. Excuse me, darlin'.Copy !req
399. Let's close these, OK? You don't want
your business wavin' all in the air.Copy !req
400. - Ow!
- Oh, no! Don't!Copy !req
401. I said close 'em!
They don't close!Copy !req
402. Well, then, maybe that's how
you got this way in the first place!Copy !req
403. Get this baby out of me!
Where is she?Copy !req
404. Just breathe, sweetie.
Thank God you're here!Copy !req
405. Listen, child. You do what
the paramedic says. OK?Copy !req
406. Big Momma gonna be in the
kitchen... bakin' up a storm.Copy !req
407. Bakin'?
Paramedic?Copy !req
408. Nolan is a security guard
at the lumberyard.Copy !req
409. Head security guard. I got two men
and three dogs workin' up under me.Copy !req
410. How you doin'? I'm Nolan, Ritha's brother.Copy !req
411. - Paramedics? Is something wrong?
- No! No!Copy !req
412. I knew it! I told you this senile old hag
was gettin' too old to be doin' this!Copy !req
413. Who are you callin' senile?
You wanna step outside?Copy !req
414. Look, I took CPR.
Can't be too much harder than that.Copy !req
415. Damn! That's a baby.Copy !req
416. Will you shut up, please?
Big Momma can handle this. Get outta here!Copy !req
417. Big Momma's here, darlin'.
Don't worry.Copy !req
418. OK, now. Nolan, get your chunky ass
in gear and find me some hot water.Copy !req
419. Lena, I need towels.
Lots of towels.Copy !req
420. Towels.
Now somebody get me some lard.Copy !req
421. Preferably Crisco.Copy !req
422. We got a baby about to
slide into the world.Copy !req
423. Hold my hand, Big Momma.
Hold her hand.Copy !req
424. Hold my hand!Copy !req
425. Hold my hand!Copy !req
426. Hold my hand!Copy !req
427. OK, you're doin' good.
You're doin' good.Copy !req
428. I'm doin' good. I'm doin' good.Copy !req
429. What they need Crisco for?Copy !req
430. They use Crisco for everything here.Copy !req
431. I can't breathe. I can't breathe.Copy !req
432. What the hell are you doing?Copy !req
433. I saw this in a movie once.
Stop, Big Momma!Copy !req
434. Here are the tongs.
Is that sterilized?Copy !req
435. Oh, yeah! I used WD-40
and some Easy Off on it!Copy !req
436. Big Momma, we're not frying a chicken!Copy !req
437. Give me this plunger!Copy !req
438. Here we go!Copy !req
439. - Oh! Look at the head!
- I see something!Copy !req
440. The head? I don't know.
I'm lookin', it's lookin' back!Copy !req
441. For God's sake.Copy !req
442. Big Momma,
what you doin' now?Copy !req
443. I don't think you need those,
Big Momma.Copy !req
444. Hold your breath!Copy !req
445. It's a girl!Copy !req
446. It's a girl!
Oh, Lord!Copy !req
447. Ritha, it look like Leroy.Copy !req
448. Thank you, Big Momma.
Thank you, Big Momma.Copy !req
449. Look at her.Copy !req
450. She's somethin' else. Oh...Copy !req
451. Gimme my baby.Copy !req
452. Ahhh!Copy !req
453. That's a baby.Copy !req
454. Good night,
Big Momma.Copy !req
455. Let me tell you...Copy !req
456. Ohhh!Copy !req
457. Big Momma,
you were amazing.Copy !req
458. Oh, thank you, child.Copy !req
459. I wonder what they'll name her.
I don't know.Copy !req
460. If it was a boy, they could have
named it, like... Requan or Trevon.Copy !req
461. Trevon is cute.
You think that?Copy !req
462. But it's a girl.
You gotta pick a girl name.Copy !req
463. Shaniqua.
Shaniqua?Copy !req
464. You don't like that?
Come on now, Big Momma.Copy !req
465. It should be a biblical name, right?Copy !req
466. Something beautiful like that.
That's right.Copy !req
467. Big Momma, do you remember this?Copy !req
468. Oh, my word!Copy !req
469. Yes.Copy !req
470. Here.
Sherry, no. No, I couldn't, Sherry.Copy !req
471. Big Momma, I just wanna make sure that if
I ever have to go away for a long time...Copy !req
472. you have something
to remember me by.Copy !req
473. Well, all right.Copy !req
474. And I know it's a little
tarnished, but it'sCopy !req
475. gotten me through some
pretty tough times.Copy !req
476. Tough times?
Sounds like a man's involved.Copy !req
477. Somethin' like that.Copy !req
478. Sherry, you know that old boyfriend
you had, who got in trouble?Copy !req
479. Whatever happened to him?Copy !req
480. Oh, Big Momma,
that's such a long story.Copy !req
481. Yeah.Copy !req
482. I'd better go check on Trent.Copy !req
483. You need anything?
Oh, I'm fine. Thank you, honey.Copy !req
484. Sit out here and catch my breath.
OK. I understand.Copy !req
485. Shit!Copy !req
486. Whoa!Copy !req
487. Oh...!Copy !req
488. Who are you?
Um...Copy !req
489. Excuse me?
Who are you?Copy !req
490. Oh, me? Oh! I'm sorry.Copy !req
491. Sometimes I just get so caught up
in my work that I forget things and...Copy !req
492. I'm Malcolm. I'm Malcolm.
Hi. How are you?Copy !req
493. Madame.Copy !req
494. Big Momma asked me
to come by and, uh, fix...Copy !req
495. At 5.45 in the morning?
No doubt. Yeah.Copy !req
496. I'm a... I'm an electrician.
You know?Copy !req
497. Whoa!
Shit!Copy !req
498. You're not really an electrician,
are you?Copy !req
499. No. No, I'm the...Copy !req
500. You got me. I am busted.Copy !req
501. I didn't go to electrical college,
if that's what you mean.Copy !req
502. But I'm a handyman.
Yeah, handyman's my thing.Copy !req
503. What are you doing?
Hey, how you doin', man?Copy !req
504. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.Copy !req
505. Trent?Copy !req
506. How did you know his name?Copy !req
507. Big Momma been braggin'
all over town about you.Copy !req
508. She has not.
Yes, she has.Copy !req
509. "Trent's so smart.
Trent's so cute. Trent knows karate."Copy !req
510. I know a little bit.
Ah! That's what I'm talkin' about.Copy !req
511. Show me a little bit of your moves.Copy !req
512. I'd love to show him.
Don't worry. I won't hurt him.Copy !req
513. What the hell is he doing?Copy !req
514. Oh! Trent, baby, be careful.Copy !req
515. You're kinda quick.
Let me show you what I got.Copy !req
516. Which way I'm comin'?
Huh?Copy !req
517. OK, it just got serious.Copy !req
518. Oh! Honey, careful!Copy !req
519. Trent, honey, you cannot be that rough.
You're only a pre-teen!Copy !req
520. Why don't you come inside now
and let this man finish his work?Copy !req
521. See you later, Trent.
Bye.Copy !req
522. I used to take
a little karate myself.Copy !req
523. OK, I'm gonna go inside now.Copy !req
524. I'll come back and check
on you in a whileCopy !req
525. just to make sure you
haven't killed yourself.Copy !req
526. I appreciate it. Appreciate it.Copy !req
527. You blew your cover.Copy !req
528. John, if you was
thinkin' straight...Copy !req
529. you'd realize Malcolm's our
best shot for crackin' this case.Copy !req
530. Sherry ain't never gonna
tell her grandmother about Lester.Copy !req
531. Hurry up, man. She's leaving.Copy !req
532. I'll search the house while you're gone.Copy !req
533. Uh... Sherry?Copy !req
534. Where are you off to?Copy !req
535. Oh... I'm dropping Trent off
to play basketball.Copy !req
536. And then, um... I'm just gonna
go into town for a little bit.Copy !req
537. OK. Well, good. I'll go with you.
I need to do some shopping anyway.Copy !req
538. No! Um...
Whoo! Trent, move over.Copy !req
539. This ass here could do
some serious damage.Copy !req
540. Sherry, I'm not on your gearshift, am I?Copy !req
541. No, Big Momma. You're all right.
All right.Copy !req
542. Get your seat belt on.Copy !req
543. Here we go. Here we go
on our way to the store.Copy !req
544. Aargh!Copy !req
545. Aw, shit.Copy !req
546. Hattie! I've been lookin' for you.
Well, good. Keep lookin'!Copy !req
547. Big Momma, stay and talk to your
friend. I'll talk to you later. OK?Copy !req
548. Sherry, wait!Copy !req
549. Hattie, I need to do this
before I lose my nerve.Copy !req
550. You run along or that
ain't all you gonna lose.Copy !req
551. Listen. Hattie, listen to me.Copy !req
552. Hattie? Hattie, listen.Copy !req
553. It was my mother's. It's been
on my dresser for 30 years.Copy !req
554. Just sittin' in my little
apartment doin' nothin'...Copy !req
555. when it could have been
out seein' the world.Copy !req
556. I just want to give you somethin'...Copy !req
557. just to prove to you I know how
to give my heart to a woman.Copy !req
558. There you are!
Girl, we've been lookin' all over for you!Copy !req
559. Hattie! Hattie!Copy !req
560. Hold on a minute.
You losin' weight?Copy !req
561. Uh... Yeah. I been workin'
with that new ab roller...Copy !req
562. with the handles up here.Copy !req
563. Well, sugar, it's workin'!
You understand me?Copy !req
564. Come on now. We gonna be late.
Late for what?Copy !req
565. Hyaaaaaaaah!Copy !req
566. Maybe you're in a dark alley.Copy !req
567. Maybe not.Copy !req
568. Maybe you're walkin' home
from a church social.Copy !req
569. Maybe you're standin' on your sun porch
smokin' a pack of Virginia Slims.Copy !req
570. But where's an' ever you be...Copy !req
571. you got to be prepared for this.Copy !req
572. That was a little fast. Let me do it again.Copy !req
573. Come on, Gertrude. This is good for you.Copy !req
574. Don't you think you're being
a little rough on the ladies?Copy !req
575. You think a mugger'll be easy on you?Copy !req
576. Somebody attack you on the street,
you think they gonna do it delicately?Copy !req
577. I don't think so.Copy !req
578. Now, where were we?Copy !req
579. I think you were gonna ask
for another volunteer.Copy !req
580. And, personally,
I would consider it a privilege.Copy !req
581. OK. Let's go with some
real-life situations.Copy !req
582. All right. Now, first off...Copy !req
583. Go on. Stand right there.Copy !req
584. Here?Copy !req
585. Let's say...Copy !req
586. you walkin' down the street,
struttin' your stuff...Copy !req
587. and somebody scream out
to you "Hey, baby!"Copy !req
588. "Back that thing up and show me
what you got." What you gonna do?Copy !req
589. Well, I'd say... uh...Copy !req
590. I got a size ten...Copy !req
591. and I'm about to cram
it up his bony ass.Copy !req
592. What if that don't work?Copy !req
593. What if he decide he still wanna
get a little piece of that?Copy !req
594. Ooh!
Uh-huh. All he got to do is this.Copy !req
595. Aaarrgghh!Copy !req
596. You done messed up now!Copy !req
597. Get him, Hattie Mae!Copy !req
598. Sorry about that. I didn't think it made
much sense to defend myself delicately.Copy !req
599. Most attackers seek out people
who look like they can't defend themselves.Copy !req
600. Ain't that right, Nolan?
Yes.Copy !req
601. See, you only got a second...Copy !req
602. to turn fear and panic into power!Copy !req
603. Power!
That's right. You can't be scared.Copy !req
604. You got to fight back!
Fight back!Copy !req
605. There you are! I've been
looking all over for you!Copy !req
606. Oh!Copy !req
607. I know I got some explainin' to do.Copy !req
608. That's a good idea.
Yeah!Copy !req
609. I paid way too much for this
new wig to mess it up here.Copy !req
610. - That's what I'm talkin' about!
- Whoo! I feel free!Copy !req
611. Hattie,
are you done with him?Copy !req
612. Can I have a go?
Most definitely.Copy !req
613. Oh, my damn.Copy !req
614. OK, ladies...Copy !req
615. Big Momma, what is going on?Copy !req
616. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow...Copy !req
617. Ooh, they make these cars so low!Copy !req
618. Hi, Trent. Momma,
you need some help?Copy !req
619. No, I'm not that old, Sherry.
I don't need no help.Copy !req
620. - How you doin'?
- Good.Copy !req
621. How was basketball?Copy !req
622. It was all right.
You OK? I'm gonna go start dinner.Copy !req
623. And make sure you put
the fatback in the greens.Copy !req
624. Hey. This yours.Copy !req
625. You didn't know Big Momma
knew that move, did you?Copy !req
626. That's called an assist.Copy !req
627. Trent, me and you haven't had
much time to just sit down and talk.Copy !req
628. Your momma didn't happen
to talk to you about...Copy !req
629. where you were going to next,
did she?Copy !req
630. She didn't happen to say anything
about meetin' up with an old friend?Copy !req
631. I don't know.Copy !req
632. Trent, you know
I'm your Big Momma, right?Copy !req
633. You could talk to me and confide
in me. You know that, right?Copy !req
634. I said I don't know. And anyway,
Momma said we shouldn't tell our business.Copy !req
635. That some stuff we should
just keep to ourself.Copy !req
636. Is that right?Copy !req
637. Did somethin' happen while
you were down at basketball?Copy !req
638. The older guys were mean to me.
Say what?Copy !req
639. They kicked me off the court.
Uh-uh! No, see, I knew it.Copy !req
640. Don't nobody mess with my babies!Copy !req
641. Who do they think they are, kicking you
off the court? That is a public court!Copy !req
642. Let me go get my nine, OK?
Oh, no. I'll keep that...Copy !req
643. You know what, Trent?
Let me calm down.Copy !req
644. How about we take a little walk
down to the park, hm?Copy !req
645. Thank you! Get off the court, suckers!Copy !req
646. Is that all you got?Copy !req
647. Well, get ready to sit down, cos you
ain't gonna last long once we start.Copy !req
648. Ain't that right, Trent?Copy !req
649. So, Granny thinks she got game?
Oh, yes. I got game.Copy !req
650. Got two words, too: I'm back.Copy !req
651. You're too fat to be ballin'.
Say what?Copy !req
652. You look like a damn shaved bird.Copy !req
653. Look at you! Just fly your...Copy !req
654. Never mind, young man. I'm not
even gonna get into it with you.Copy !req
655. Man, here's your rock.
Didn't know I could catch that, huh?Copy !req
656. Back at ya! Didn't know
it was coming. Let's do this.Copy !req
657. Come on, little man.
We gonna take you to school.Copy !req
658. We own that ball.Copy !req
659. Pickin' on a little man! I'm at ya!Copy !req
660. Look at ya now, huh?
Runnin' your mouth.Copy !req
661. Yes! Yes!Copy !req
662. What you gonna do, Grandma?Copy !req
663. What the hell...?Copy !req
664. Game point!Copy !req
665. Damn!
Air Momma!Copy !req
666. That's game!
Yes!Copy !req
667. We won!Copy !req
668. Yes! We won!Copy !req
669. We won! Oh, yes, baby!Copy !req
670. We won, Trent! We won!Copy !req
671. Ooh, Trent! I'm so happy! We won!Copy !req
672. We won, won, won, won!
Woo-ooh!Copy !req
673. Ooh, it smells good, Big Momma.Copy !req
674. Oh, morning, Sherry.
Good morning.Copy !req
675. Trent wanted waffles.
Have a seat.Copy !req
676. No, I'm gonna have some toast.
Oh. OK.Copy !req
677. Malcolm's been askin' about you.Copy !req
678. Oh, really?
Yes.Copy !req
679. He was wonderin' how long
you were gonna be in town.Copy !req
680. He thought you might be meetin' up
with some old friends from California.Copy !req
681. I wonder what would
make him think that.Copy !req
682. Maybe somethin' you said?Copy !req
683. Sherry, if you gonna be
in town for a while,Copy !req
684. you oughta spend some
time with that boy.Copy !req
685. Get to know him.Copy !req
686. You really think he's gonna solve
all my problems, don't you?Copy !req
687. Oh, yeah. Child,
if I was 40 years younger...Copy !req
688. Ooh!Copy !req
689. and able to walk down the street
without trippin' over my own breasts...Copy !req
690. yes, I'd take him on.
I'd give him a taste.Copy !req
691. Oh, shoot!Copy !req
692. Damn.Copy !req
693. Got a little jam on ya?
Yeah. I just washed this, too.Copy !req
694. Big Momma,
do you have any soda water?Copy !req
695. Uh... yeah.
Top shelf, Sherry.Copy !req
696. Ooh!Copy !req
697. Oh, my damn!Copy !req
698. What's wrong, Big Momma?
Uh... Stains.Copy !req
699. I hate stains because they's hard to get
out, and that's a jammy-jam stain. I know.Copy !req
700. Ooh...!Copy !req
701. Hey, Malcolm.
Hey, little man. What you up to?Copy !req
702. We're goin' fishing.
Mom's gonna let me drive the boat.Copy !req
703. How you doin', Sherry?
Here to empty out the septic tank?Copy !req
704. You got jokes.Copy !req
705. No, no. Actually, I was in the
neighborhood, so I was just stopping by.Copy !req
706. Hey, Malcolm. You ever gone fishing?Copy !req
707. Oh, yeah. I fish in the neighborhood
all the time. Yeah, I know a thing or two.Copy !req
708. Really?
Yes, really.Copy !req
709. I do all kind of fishing.Copy !req
710. I just haven't caught anything
worth holding onto.Copy !req
711. Maybe you're using the wrong bait.Copy !req
712. What kind of bait should I be usin'?Copy !req
713. Hey, Mom?
Yeah?Copy !req
714. Can Malcolm come with us?Copy !req
715. Sweetie, I'm sure Malcolm has
more important things to do today.Copy !req
716. Actually, I don't.
Come on, Malcolm.Copy !req
717. Mom doesn't know what she's doin'.Copy !req
718. I could show you
where all the hot spots are.Copy !req
719. Sure. I don't see why not.Copy !req
720. Come on, Malcolm. I've never been fishin'.
Never? Whoo!Copy !req
721. Nothin' to it.Copy !req
722. Oh!
Mom, did you see that fish jump?Copy !req
723. I did. Looked like he was
smiling at us, right?Copy !req
724. Like he was laughing.
Laughing at Malcolm.Copy !req
725. That's funny?
No, I mean...Copy !req
726. Look at your pole!Copy !req
727. Give me the camera!Copy !req
728. Hold still. Gotcha!Copy !req
729. Are you OK? Do you need a hand?Copy !req
730. Oh, man!Copy !req
731. There you go.
Thank you.Copy !req
732. Put that on you. A little nippy, huh?
Yeah.Copy !req
733. Yeah.Copy !req
734. You know, there's...
something about your eyes.Copy !req
735. I don't know.
They're really familiar.Copy !req
736. Oh. I... I know you think
you can recognize my eyes.Copy !req
737. But you know what? A lot of people
have these eyes. These ain't even mine.Copy !req
738. Yeah, I borrowed 'em from a friend,
and I gotta have 'em back by dusk.Copy !req
739. Yeah, I'll be... Plop!Copy !req
740. Hold your hoe. Gotta go.Copy !req
741. Then you don't have much time.Copy !req
742. He loves it out here.Copy !req
743. It's a great place to grow up.
You should know.Copy !req
744. Yeah, but you forget
and you move on...Copy !req
745. and your life takes you places
that you... never thought you'd go.Copy !req
746. Where has your life taken you?Copy !req
747. Far away from here.
And I'm not sure if I'm goin' back.Copy !req
748. Really?Copy !req
749. Mom! I can't catch anything!Copy !req
750. Keep trying, sweetie!Copy !req
751. Sherry, your last boyfriend...Copy !req
752. What was he like?Copy !req
753. Most people aren't
who they say they are.Copy !req
754. Yeah, well, you gotta
trust somebody sometime.Copy !req
755. Why not start with me?Copy !req
756. Mom!
They're too fast for you, Trent.Copy !req
757. Why don't you just take a break, OK?
You don't have to be fast.Copy !req
758. What you got there?Copy !req
759. Let me help you with that, little Trent.
Let me see that.Copy !req
760. Sometimes, when you wanna
catch somethin'...Copy !req
761. you just gotta slow down.Copy !req
762. Be patient.Copy !req
763. Then they might come to you.Copy !req
764. Thanks, Malcolm.Copy !req
765. That's what I do... catch
the lightnin' bug.Copy !req
766. I see you're a man of great taste.
Need anything else?Copy !req
767. Laptop? Cameras? AK-47? Stereos?Copy !req
768. Rolex?Copy !req
769. Guess not.Copy !req
770. I'll take it.
Great. That'll be two hundred.Copy !req
771. Your girl told me a hundred.Copy !req
772. I don't care what she said.
That gun'll cost you two.Copy !req
773. Two hundred, or this transaction
goes real bad, real quick.Copy !req
774. It just went bad, didn't it?Copy !req
775. Pull it.Copy !req
776. A hundred's good.Copy !req
777. I can do a hundred.Copy !req
778. Thank you.
Good night.Copy !req
779. Yes, sir. Yes... I understand, sir.Copy !req
780. Oh, no, no, no.
Sure, I can handle him.Copy !req
781. Yeah. Don't you worry. He
knows exactly what he's doing.Copy !req
782. Bye.Copy !req
783. What the hell are you doing?
Don't start.Copy !req
784. No, Malcolm, I loved the little
Jerry Maguire moment with the kid.Copy !req
785. That was very touching.Copy !req
786. It might make it a little awkward
when it's time to arrest her, but...Copy !req
787. John, my attraction to her
is strictly professional.Copy !req
788. Great.
Oh, and trust me: she's innocent.Copy !req
789. And that's based on what?
Your "professional" attraction to her?Copy !req
790. Everybody freeze!
Goddamn! You freeze!Copy !req
791. Aw, damn! Y'all cut Big Momma
up into little pieces!Copy !req
792. Ow! Oh, shit! Oh!Copy !req
793. Nobody's done nothin' to Big Momma.Copy !req
794. FBI.
Oh!Copy !req
795. Looks like we'll have to
arrest this guy now.Copy !req
796. Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Shit, man, you ain't gotta do that!Copy !req
797. I'm a fellow law-enforcement officer
myself. You know, maybe I can help.Copy !req
798. Get up. Come on!Copy !req
799. OK, OK, OK.
All right.Copy !req
800. Now, I've gone undercover as Big Momma.Copy !req
801. As you can see.Copy !req
802. That what that is?Copy !req
803. Yeah.Copy !req
804. Now listen, Nolan. This is top-secret.
We're after a hardened criminal.Copy !req
805. What I need you to do
is stake out the bank.Copy !req
806. OK, can you handle that?
No problem.Copy !req
807. All right. Now, what I'm saying is,
shut your mouth on this one.Copy !req
808. I mean it - hush. Don't say nothin'. Nada!Copy !req
809. Mm-mm, mm-mm.
You with me?Copy !req
810. Mm-hm.
All right.Copy !req
811. If you can do that, we might
find a place for you on the force.Copy !req
812. You'd be in.
In the Bureau?Copy !req
813. Right...
right in the Bureau.Copy !req
814. Probably you'd get the F, but you won't
get the BI until some years have gone by.Copy !req
815. Right. Cos there's some work involved.
Exactly.Copy !req
816. Like the bank work.
I'm all over it!Copy !req
817. - Bye.
- Ooh-hoo! Hot damn!Copy !req
818. Trent?Copy !req
819. Big Momma?Copy !req
820. You awake?
Ooh! Yes, Sherry.Copy !req
821. Is everything all right?Copy !req
822. Oh, yeah. I was just coming
to check you were OK with...Copy !req
823. Whoo!Copy !req
824. I'm sorry.Copy !req
825. That scared me.Copy !req
826. Oh, uh...Copy !req
827. Are you all right?
Yeah, I'm OK.Copy !req
828. Oh, that's good.Copy !req
829. I remember when I was a little girl
and it used to storm like this...Copy !req
830. and you would wrap
your arms around me.Copy !req
831. You mean like this?
Yeah.Copy !req
832. Oh...Copy !req
833. And I just felt like nothing in
the world could ever hurt me.Copy !req
834. Ah... Doesn't this feel so good?Copy !req
835. Oh...Copy !req
836. It feels so damn good.Copy !req
837. Mm...Copy !req
838. Big Momma?
Yes?Copy !req
839. What's that?
What's what?Copy !req
840. That.
Ooh!Copy !req
841. Uh... It's... um...Copy !req
842. That's just my flashlight.
Oh.Copy !req
843. Yeah, the storm knocked out all the power
and... I had to get a big old flashlight.Copy !req
844. OK.Copy !req
845. You OK?
Yes. Just tryin' to get comfortable.Copy !req
846. All right.
All right.Copy !req
847. Let's try to get some sleep.
That's easy for you to say.Copy !req
848. Mmm...Copy !req
849. You know, when I called you the other day,
I didn't think you'd even wanna talk to me.Copy !req
850. Why would you say that, Sherry?Copy !req
851. Well, it's been a long time
since we've talked...Copy !req
852. and I'm not a little girl anymore.Copy !req
853. And I know that you've probably heard
some things that I'm not very proud of.Copy !req
854. Well... Maybe I didn't wanna
believe those things.Copy !req
855. Maybe I only wanted
to believe the best about you.Copy !req
856. You sure have changed, Big Momma.Copy !req
857. How so?Copy !req
858. Shoot, when I was a little girl,
you'd whup my butt if I even looked guilty.Copy !req
859. Well, it got your hind parts
in shape, didn't it?Copy !req
860. Yeah, well, you learned your lesson.Copy !req
861. Yeah, I learned how to look innocent.Copy !req
862. Big Momma...
Yes?Copy !req
863. Is there another flashlight under there?Copy !req
864. Hi.Copy !req
865. What the hell are you doing here?Copy !req
866. Somebody may see you.
No, no. No worries about that.Copy !req
867. I got Nolan watching
the perimeter.Copy !req
868. He'd like his own gun, and he wants to
know if we can use secret code names.Copy !req
869. You better watch him.
Oh? And who's gonna watch you?Copy !req
870. What are you talkin' about?
You slept with her, man. She got to you.Copy !req
871. I didn't sleep with her. Big Momma did.
OK. Thanks for the visual.Copy !req
872. You know what I mean.Copy !req
873. Are you puttin' on your make-up
in the dark now?Copy !req
874. Big Momma?Copy !req
875. Come on, Big Momma. We're gonna be late.
Late? Late for what?Copy !req
876. Church. We're leaving
in five minutes.Copy !req
877. OK, maybe she got to me. But believe me,
this will not affect my work on this case.Copy !req
878. That big bag she took
downtown the other day.Copy !req
879. Yeah?
She didn't come back with that, did she?Copy !req
880. Not affect your work. Fine.Copy !req
881. You know, Malcolm, if you wanna
save this girl, then that's fine.Copy !req
882. But you gotta get her
to confess everything...Copy !req
883. or else, when we catch Lester,
she's gonna go down with him.Copy !req
884. "Every Time I Feel The Spirit."Copy !req
885. Yes, good people...Copy !req
886. we are not havin' service
this morning.Copy !req
887. This morning, we're havin' church!Copy !req
888. You know, the Lord got me
to thinking the other day that...Copy !req
889. maybe it's time that I
stopped preaching...Copy !req
890. and started listening!Copy !req
891. And maybe one of our saints here...Copy !req
892. could offer us a word from above.Copy !req
893. All right!Copy !req
894. Earlier this week, I went to my phone...Copy !req
895. and the Lord took my dialing finger!Copy !req
896. And after about three rings...
Three rings!Copy !req
897. Three rings!
Three rings!Copy !req
898. Three rings!
Three rings!Copy !req
899. I heard...Copy !req
900. a sweet, angelic voice say...Copy !req
901. Boy, you better get that thing outta
my face. Move, Rev! Go now!Copy !req
902. That's right. It was Hattie Mae Pierce.Copy !req
903. Saints, we can learn
a lot from this lady.Copy !req
904. Yes, we can.Copy !req
905. For she has been to sorrow's kitchen...Copy !req
906. and licked the pot clean!Copy !req
907. Are you ready to testify?Copy !req
908. Oh, well, I guess
I could say a few words.Copy !req
909. Go, Big Momma!Copy !req
910. You just put me on the spot
today, Reverend.Copy !req
911. I really wasn't expectin' this,
Reverend.Copy !req
912. Ooh. Well, let's see.Copy !req
913. You know what to say!
Come on with it!Copy !req
914. Let's see. Uh...Copy !req
915. Well, I asked him.
I said "Lord...Copy !req
916. should I talk about the evils...Copy !req
917. of drugs?"Copy !req
918. No, no, no!Copy !req
919. Big Momma don't know
nothin' about no drugs!Copy !req
920. Unless y'all talkin' about
Harry Belafonte. Whoo!Copy !req
921. Lord knows I was addicted
to that man for about ten years!Copy !req
922. So, anyway, what I'm here to say is...Copy !req
923. that some of us...Copy !req
924. live secret lives.Copy !req
925. We don't want people
to know the real us.Copy !req
926. We hide behind our smiles...Copy !req
927. and polite conversation.Copy !req
928. And underneath it all,
we do a lotta nasty shit!Copy !req
929. 'Scuse me, Reverend.Copy !req
930. So sorry about that.Copy !req
931. Anyway, we've all sinned.Copy !req
932. Yes!Copy !req
933. Lord knows I've sinned.Copy !req
934. I've lusted in my heart!Copy !req
935. In my living room!Copy !req
936. In the hot tub at the Red Roof Inn!Copy !req
937. Oh, and in the back of an El Camino!Copy !req
938. Watch out there now!Copy !req
939. But that's neither here nor there.
OK, please, disregard that last one.Copy !req
940. Anyway, the point
I'm trying to make is that...Copy !req
941. our secrets...Copy !req
942. they eat away at us.Copy !req
943. So, if we want to be protected -
hear me now -Copy !req
944. we got to confess everything.Copy !req
945. Because the truth...Copy !req
946. shall set you free.Copy !req
947. And when that day happens...Copy !req
948. oh, won't it be a happy day?Copy !req
949. That's your song.Copy !req
950. Hallelujah!Copy !req
951. - OK, we're home.
- My bladder got me just runnin'!Copy !req
952. Maybe I should come in
for a little nightcap.Copy !req
953. Consider your night capped.Copy !req
954. - You hear somethin'?
- What?Copy !req
955. Freeze!Copy !req
956. Surprise!Copy !req
957. Surprise.Copy !req
958. Surprise,
Big Mom... ma.Copy !req
959. I don't think Big Momma
likes surprise parties.Copy !req
960. Let's eat.Copy !req
961. Big Momma,
where did you get that from?Copy !req
962. Come on, why don't you give it to me?
Give it up before you hurt somebody, OK?Copy !req
963. I'm about to go secure the perimeter.
Nolan... Nolan!Copy !req
964. John...
This is all we need. Him screwing this up.Copy !req
965. Why'd you let all these
people in here? It'sCopy !req
966. a surprise party. I
didn't know about it.Copy !req
967. Keep your eyes open. I'm goin'
upstairs to change for the party.Copy !req
968. Good idea.Copy !req
969. Hi, Ben! How you doin'?Copy !req
970. I guess you're wonderin'
what I got you for your birthday.Copy !req
971. Don't tell me
your momma had more jewelry.Copy !req
972. If you don't want it,
you don't have to...Copy !req
973. What is that boy up to now,
Big Momma?Copy !req
974. You stay down here
and watch the food. I'll go up.Copy !req
975. All right.Copy !req
976. Trent? What are you lookin' for?Copy !req
977. Nothing.Copy !req
978. Why don't you go downstairs
and help your momma with the food?Copy !req
979. Yes, ma'am.Copy !req
980. Damn.Copy !req
981. Hey, Big Momma?Copy !req
982. Yes?Copy !req
983. Where'd you put the sweet corn?
Is it outside in the freezer?Copy !req
984. Sherry, is there anything
you wanna say to Big Momma?Copy !req
985. No, Big Momma. Why do you ask?Copy !req
986. Oh, really?Copy !req
987. Then I guess this chain isn't the only
thing that came back to me tarnished.Copy !req
988. I found the money, Sherry.
What money?Copy !req
989. Oh, my God. It's Lester.Copy !req
990. Big Momma, I'm so sorry...Copy !req
991. but I gotta go. I gotta get outta here.Copy !req
992. Sherry! Sherry!Copy !req
993. Hey, officer. I'm lookin' for...
Miss Hattie Mae Pierce's house.Copy !req
994. You know where she live?
Big Momma?Copy !req
995. Yeah.
You less than two miles away.Copy !req
996. She gonna die when she sees me.Copy !req
997. Sherry... Now you gonna have to
tell me what's goin' on.Copy !req
998. Everything, Sherry.
I can't.Copy !req
999. I'm beggin' you to trust me. I mean...
you can trust your Big Momma, can't you?Copy !req
1000. Now, who's this Lester?
I thought I was in love with him.Copy !req
1001. He stole my keys. He got into the vault.
He shot two people.Copy !req
1002. He must have hid the money in Trent's
locker before they arrested him.Copy !req
1003. Are you saying you didn't know
anything about the money?Copy !req
1004. What about that big bag
you had the other day, Sherry?Copy !req
1005. What about the phone call
you made in town?Copy !req
1006. Happy birthday.Copy !req
1007. And the phone call was
to set up your surprise party.Copy !req
1008. You're tellin' the truth. You didn't have
anything to do with the robbery.Copy !req
1009. Of course I did.
I knew that the keys were missing...Copy !req
1010. and I didn't say anything to anybody
because I was afraid I'd lose my job.Copy !req
1011. Is that it? That's the big mistake
you made, Sherry?Copy !req
1012. Big Momma,
I should have said something.Copy !req
1013. I know what kind of man Lester is.Copy !req
1014. Oh, Sherry!Copy !req
1015. Ooh.Copy !req
1016. Big Momma, what are you doing?Copy !req
1017. Oh, excuse me, child.Copy !req
1018. Sometimes Big Momma just feel like
kissin' folks, that's all.Copy !req
1019. Well, could you warn me next time?Copy !req
1020. Yeah, sure.Copy !req
1021. Sherry, listen to me.Copy !req
1022. You're not to blame.Copy !req
1023. Lester stole the keys.
Lester stole the money.Copy !req
1024. And Lester shot those people.Copy !req
1025. Big Momma, I should have known
I could trust you. Thank you so much.Copy !req
1026. Everything's gonna be OK. All right?
Mm-hm.Copy !req
1027. Yes. I'm gonna call Malcolm.Copy !req
1028. He'll help us fix everything. No worries.Copy !req
1029. No worries. I'll fix it.Copy !req
1030. Yes, ma'am!Copy !req
1031. Mm-mm! I've been waitin' on this moment
ever since I first laid eyes on you.Copy !req
1032. Can't get enough of your love, baby.Copy !req
1033. Hattie, I'm tired of bein' alone.Copy !req
1034. Ben, whatever you started in that bed...Copy !req
1035. trust me, you gonna finish alone.Copy !req
1036. Oh! Oh, Hattie baby...Copy !req
1037. Ben, I swear, if I see your shaboinker,
all hell's gonna break loose!Copy !req
1038. Holy shit.Copy !req
1039. Good Lord! What in the hell
is goin' on up in there?Copy !req
1040. Hey, Big Momma.
Oh... hi, Trent.Copy !req
1041. What in the hell
is goin' on over there?Copy !req
1042. Hey! You're back so soon!Copy !req
1043. What do you mean,
"so soon"?Copy !req
1044. And what the hell's wrong
with this door?Copy !req
1045. Hey! How about I hop in there
and we go for a spin? Huh? A little spin!Copy !req
1046. Big Momma? Big Momma?Copy !req
1047. - There you are.
- Everyone's lookin' for you.Copy !req
1048. What are you doing?
Ooh, I'm just freshenin' up.Copy !req
1049. Come on! Time to cut your cake!
Everybody's waitin' on you.Copy !req
1050. Driver, if I give you $20, would you
step outside and kick his ass for me?Copy !req
1051. Yes, ma'am.
No. Sir, you do not have to kick my ass.Copy !req
1052. Wait a minute. Just wait.Copy !req
1053. Look.
OK, if you really must know...Copy !req
1054. it's a surprise party for you,
and if you go in there now you'll ruin it.Copy !req
1055. Well, if that's my party,
looks like I'm missin' it!Copy !req
1056. Ow! Christ.Copy !req
1057. It's so loud in here. Maybe you'd be
more comfortable over at my house.Copy !req
1058. We've been lookin' all over for you.
It's time to cut your birthday cake.Copy !req
1059. All of this for my birthday?Copy !req
1060. Everybody's all dressed up
and looking good.Copy !req
1061. I wanna freshen up and
get out of my traveling clothes.Copy !req
1062. No, don't worry about that.
You look fine.Copy !req
1063. Listen, I got some
dress-up clothes, too. I wanna put mine on.Copy !req
1064. Now where's that cake?Copy !req
1065. Damn!
That was fast!Copy !req
1066. What the hell are you doing, Nolan?Copy !req
1067. Y'all sure went through
a lotta trouble for Big Momma.Copy !req
1068. You know, that's rare these days.Copy !req
1069. So much else to do
that you forget about people.Copy !req
1070. Big Momma is here.
What you talking about?Copy !req
1071. She's back. The real Big Momma is back.
Damn!Copy !req
1072. You want me to take her out?
No! No!Copy !req
1073. Just keep her away from Malcolm until we
figure out a way to sneak her out of here.Copy !req
1074. OK. You got it.Copy !req
1075. You know, Big Momma a whole
lotta woman. I may need help.Copy !req
1076. You two? In my bed?Copy !req
1077. Ohhh... Hell, no!Copy !req
1078. Hattie Mae, I can explain!Copy !req
1079. Explain it to the fat
end of my baseball bat!Copy !req
1080. Trent? Sweetie?Copy !req
1081. "Scratch, scratch, scratch,
went the clawing at my door."Copy !req
1082. "'Who's there?' I said,
hoping it was only my imagination."Copy !req
1083. Mom, look. It's ghost stories.Copy !req
1084. Where's my Sherry?Copy !req
1085. Where's my baby Sherry?Copy !req
1086. Sherry!Copy !req
1087. In my house, in my bed... Malcolm,
I've been lookin' all over for you.Copy !req
1088. You'll never believe who's here.
Who's here?Copy !req
1089. Plenty of fun people. Let's dance over
and meet some, shall we? Come on.Copy !req
1090. Sherry?Copy !req
1091. Sherry!Copy !req
1092. What...?Copy !req
1093. Big Momma, work it out!Copy !req
1094. He don't know what to do with it!Copy !req
1095. Shit.Copy !req
1096. Uh-uh.Copy !req
1097. Can I at least say goodbye
to my grandmother?Copy !req
1098. Yeah.Copy !req
1099. Big Momma?Copy !req
1100. Sherry!Copy !req
1101. Sherry, is that you?Copy !req
1102. Oh, what a beautiful surprise!Copy !req
1103. Yeah, Big Momma. I just wanted to come
and say goodbye, cos we have to leave now.Copy !req
1104. Oh, but you just got... I just got...Copy !req
1105. I don't want you to leave.
Please, don't leave.Copy !req
1106. No, Big Momma, we have to go now.
And I justCopy !req
1107. wanted to say thank
you for everything.Copy !req
1108. You said goodbye. Now let's go.Copy !req
1109. Freeze, sucker!
Nolan? What the hell are you doing?Copy !req
1110. Put that thing down.Copy !req
1111. You freeze... sucker.Copy !req
1112. Don't shoot me!
Lester, no.Copy !req
1113. Oh, shit.Copy !req
1114. Oh, Jesus!Copy !req
1115. Ooh. I forgot my keys.Copy !req
1116. Big... Big Momma?Copy !req
1117. Are y'all Doublemint twins?
Freeze! FBI!Copy !req
1118. Whoa! Not in Big Momma's house!Copy !req
1119. Oh, shit!Copy !req
1120. I can't feel my knees!
Oh, Big Momma!Copy !req
1121. Hit me, you fat piece of junk?
Lester, no!Copy !req
1122. Don't you hit her!Copy !req
1123. Don't turn over on me!
Oh, Lord!Copy !req
1124. Oh, man.Copy !req
1125. Are you all right?
Yeah.Copy !req
1126. You were all over that shit.
Yeah. I was somethin', huh?Copy !req
1127. Oh, man...
Whoa. Easy.Copy !req
1128. But I gotta tell you... This gettin' shot
part, it's not as much fun as you'd think.Copy !req
1129. Malcolm.Copy !req
1130. Trent.Copy !req
1131. Trent!Copy !req
1132. Watch out!Copy !req
1133. Yes. Well, somebody
better tell me somethin'...Copy !req
1134. cos this sho' is some freaky shit.Copy !req
1135. Yes, and I'll bust in your head again
if I catch you foolin' around with my kin.Copy !req
1136. Blood is thicker than water.Copy !req
1137. Is that morphine in there?
God, it beats the hell out of aspirin.Copy !req
1138. Sherry...Copy !req
1139. Sherry.Copy !req
1140. Go inside, sweetie. OK?Copy !req
1141. How's he doin'?Copy !req
1142. He's fine.Copy !req
1143. Good.Copy !req
1144. You thought I was guilty
the whole time, didn't you?Copy !req
1145. You went to all this trouble
to try to catch me in a lie...Copy !req
1146. and you were the one being dishonest.Copy !req
1147. I was just doin' my job.Copy !req
1148. So the lake and everything,
that was just you doin' your job, right?Copy !req
1149. No.Copy !req
1150. "You gotta trust somebody sometime.
Why not start with me?"Copy !req
1151. I find that hard to believe, Malcolm.Copy !req
1152. Sherry... Sherry...Copy !req
1153. Sherry...Copy !req
1154. How do you feel, Malcolm?
Nervous about your testimony?Copy !req
1155. Nervous? No.Copy !req
1156. No, I'm cool.Copy !req
1157. This won't be the first
time I've testified.Copy !req
1158. This one ain't gettin' away.Copy !req
1159. Let's hope. This is your basic
hostile jury. Good luck.Copy !req
1160. Yeah. All right.Copy !req
1161. Yes, brothers and sisters.Copy !req
1162. Reverend, I've come to testify.Copy !req
1163. What's he doin' here?
This is God's house...Copy !req
1164. where all of his children are welcome.Copy !req
1165. Yeah, maybe all exceptin' him.Copy !req
1166. This better be good, son.
Yeah.Copy !req
1167. Now wobble-wobble,
and drop it like it's hot.Copy !req
1168. Uh...Copy !req
1169. I've come here today to...Copy !req
1170. ask for understanding.Copy !req
1171. I believe the Good Book says
"If you don't know me, don't judge me."Copy !req
1172. That was Tupac.
Definitely Tupac.Copy !req
1173. Tupac. All right.Copy !req
1174. Well, Trent, what does it say?Copy !req
1175. Mom says Jesus said we should
love one another as we love ourselves.Copy !req
1176. No, Trent. That's an old lyric
from Al Green. I got it in the car.Copy !req
1177. Jesus did say that.Copy !req
1178. Amen!
Yes, he did.Copy !req
1179. Anyway... Trent, do you remember
that day at the lake...Copy !req
1180. when I told you that
if you wanted something bad enough...Copy !req
1181. you gotta be patient
and it might come to you?Copy !req
1182. Well, I think that only
works with fireflies.Copy !req
1183. But if it's someone important,
you gotta put yourself into it.Copy !req
1184. You have to go get it.Copy !req
1185. Sherry, the make-up...Copy !req
1186. You know, the whole...Copy !req
1187. And the protrudeness...Copy !req
1188. Excuse me.Copy !req
1189. Look, that was fake.Copy !req
1190. But what I feel about you...Copy !req
1191. that's real.Copy !req
1192. You know, Reverend,
I think the Lord is trying to give us...Copy !req
1193. some true words
through this brother here.Copy !req
1194. Well, may the angels speed
your path on up here, Big Momma!Copy !req
1195. Yeah!Copy !req
1196. Sherry, why are you still sittin' there?Copy !req
1197. Girl, come on up here and get your man.Copy !req
1198. This morning
we're having church!Copy !req