1. You've got spunk, Wolfhouse.
I'll give you that.Copy !req
2. I don't got room in my
pocket for more of your money.Copy !req
3. I got a little spunk for you.Copy !req
4. You couldn't hit your own ball bag
with your own wrinkled cock.Copy !req
5. Chance.Copy !req
6. Jesus, Mary and Joseph.
You play rim rules?Copy !req
7. Doesn't everybody?Copy !req
8. Yeah, the shit-stabbers like you.Copy !req
9. Hold on there, girlfriend.Copy !req
10. You're gonna chance...Copy !req
11. you're gonna have to earn it.Copy !req
12. Oh, no. No way.Copy !req
13. Forget about it.
I'm out of here. Where's my—?Copy !req
14. Hey. You said you wanted to chance,
now take a chance.Copy !req
15. All right, all right.Copy !req
16. Son of a bitch!Copy !req
17. Up yours, Johnny Cash.Copy !req
18. Okay. Grab him, boys.Copy !req
19. You weren't trying to play me for
a fool, were you, Wolfhouse?Copy !req
20. Beginner's luck.Copy !req
21. You don't come into my place of business
and take my money like that.Copy !req
22. Now, what I should do is
beat seven shades of shit out of you.Copy !req
23. - But I'll teach you something somebody—
- Hey!Copy !req
24. What's going on down here?Copy !req
25. Todd, welcome home!Copy !req
26. I'm just having some fun with your
younger, dumber brother.Copy !req
27. Might not be the best time.
Everyone's waiting.Copy !req
28. Oh, of course.Copy !req
29. Padre?Copy !req
30. I'll come back for the rest.Copy !req
31. Great Gam Gam. I'm so sorry.Copy !req
32. My friends...Copy !req
33. as we gather today to mourn
the passing of Johan Wolfhouse...Copy !req
34. what can I say that
Johan can't say for himself?Copy !req
35. Hello, all.Copy !req
36. If you are watching this,
then I have croaked.Copy !req
37. Now I will never know what happens on
The Young and the Restless.Copy !req
38. - He loved that show.
- But seriously, I wanted to thank you all...Copy !req
39. for what you have added to
my long and happy life.Copy !req
40. Most of all, my mother.Copy !req
41. Mother, I always knew
you would outlive me.Copy !req
42. I loved you.Copy !req
43. Prosit.Copy !req
44. Todd, Jan,
my smart and talented grandsons...Copy !req
45. take good care of the restaurant.Copy !req
46. It is the last piece of your heritage.Copy !req
47. And don't worry,
someone will be watching over you.Copy !req
48. Popo!Copy !req
49. - Hey. It's Popo.
- Popo was given to me...Copy !req
50. by my father on his deathbed.Copy !req
51. Prosit!Copy !req
52. And finally, to me.Copy !req
53. Looking good down there.Copy !req
54. Say good night, Popo.Copy !req
55. Good night, Popo.Copy !req
56. For hundreds of years,
it has been a Wolfhouse tradition...Copy !req
57. to spread the ashes of
our loved ones in Munich.Copy !req
58. I am too old.
I want you boys to go to Germany...Copy !req
59. and carry out this tradition
for your grandfather.Copy !req
60. Sure, it would be an honor for us,
Great Gam Gam. When?Copy !req
61. Well, you must leave immediately.Copy !req
62. The tradition is to spread the ashes...Copy !req
63. during the festival
on the Theresienwiese.Copy !req
64. There you will meet
a Mr. Schniedelwichsen.Copy !req
65. He will take you to
the family resting place.Copy !req
66. The festival begins this week.Copy !req
67. The festival of the what-what?Copy !req
68. Oh, boys, you know this festival
as Oktoberfest.Copy !req
69. We're in.Copy !req
70. We really gotta find this Schniedelwichsen
and spread Grandpa's ashes.Copy !req
71. He's supposed to meet us here.Copy !req
72. So there's nothing we can do
but hang out and wait. Right, Grandpa?Copy !req
73. Come on, guys.Copy !req
74. Are you making fun of us, mate?Copy !req
75. What? No.Copy !req
76. We're singing the beloved
drinking songs of our country...Copy !req
77. and you sing us
that bloody jingo jango?Copy !req
78. I reckon you're taking
the piss out of Oktoberfest.Copy !req
79. We're just singing.Copy !req
80. What do you think, mate?Copy !req
81. I think we should fucking brain them.Copy !req
82. Hey, we love Oktober—Copy !req
83. Hot cheese soup!Copy !req
84. Hot cheese so—!Copy !req
85. Come on.
This is the Fräuleins Gone Wild!Copy !req
86. Just kiss each other, ja?Copy !req
87. Helmut, my God, are you okay?Copy !req
88. Oh, strewth. They hit the little kid!Copy !req
89. Let's get the bastards!Copy !req
90. So this is Oktoberfest.Copy !req
91. Wolfhouse?Copy !req
92. Yeah.Copy !req
93. I am Mr. Schniedelwichsen.Copy !req
94. - Hi!
- Let's go.Copy !req
95. Gam Gam said you'd meet us here.
There's some crazy—Copy !req
96. - Gotcha.
- Hey!Copy !req
97. - He's got me!
- He's gone crazy dingo.Copy !req
98. Make fast! Make very fast!Copy !req
99. Split! Split!Copy !req
100. Where are we going,
Mr. Spiedelspackel?Copy !req
101. Schniedelwichsen. Come.Copy !req
102. Halt. See, we're here.Copy !req
103. Johan?Copy !req
104. The ashes.
We left them back at that tent.Copy !req
105. We gotta go get our grandfather's ashes.Copy !req
106. Come. Come now.Copy !req
107. We in the right neighborhood?Copy !req
108. Oh, hello, blondie.Copy !req
109. You care for a dance?Copy !req
110. Jan? Jan?Copy !req
111. Leave my brother alone.Copy !req
112. I miss you!Copy !req
113. The password!Copy !req
114. Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!Copy !req
115. They're playing Quarters!Copy !req
116. Hey, Beer Pong!Copy !req
117. Upside-down Chugs!Copy !req
118. Come! Come in here.Copy !req
119. I'd bugger her
for a game of soldiers, huh?Copy !req
120. Hello. Pim Scutney.
This here's me mate, Rog Gobshire.Copy !req
121. Team England.Copy !req
122. I am Jan Wolfhouse and
this is my brother, Todd Wolfhouse.Copy !req
123. And what is this?Copy !req
124. Beerfest, innit!Copy !req
125. Is this part of Oktoberfest?Copy !req
126. Oktoberfest is for tossers and
sheep-shaggers.Copy !req
127. Beerfest is our lives.Copy !req
128. The ultimate test of
a beer-gamer's mettle!Copy !req
129. - Where's the American team?
- Yeah.Copy !req
130. - That's worth a squirt, innit?
- What?Copy !req
131. Excuse me, guys.Copy !req
132. Please vomit in proper receptacles!Copy !req
133. Wait a second.
Look at those urns over there.Copy !req
134. They look just like Grandpa's.Copy !req
135. That's why Schniedelwasher
brought us here.Copy !req
136. We're supposed to put Grandpa's urn
up there with those.Copy !req
137. We gotta go back and get it.Copy !req
138. You go. I'm never leaving this place.Copy !req
139. Das Boot! Das Boot! Das Boot! Das Boot!Copy !req
140. Hello, guvnor!Copy !req
141. We got ourselves a tie.Copy !req
142. You see them blokes in the knickers?Copy !req
143. That's the German team, the champs.Copy !req
144. Their family owns
the oldest brewery in Bavaria.Copy !req
145. They're regular diamond geezers,
they are, right?Copy !req
146. Why does the last guy
chug out of a shoe?Copy !req
147. That's no shoe!Copy !req
148. That's Das Boot!Copy !req
149. And she's a cruel old mistress, she is.Copy !req
150. Drink up, Hansel!Copy !req
151. Wow, they're fast!Copy !req
152. Das Boot!Copy !req
153. Das Boot! Das Boot!Copy !req
154. Schniedelspanker!Copy !req
155. Von Wolfhausen. Wolfhouse.Copy !req
156. Your last name's von Wolfhausen?Copy !req
157. Get the fuck out of here. So is ours!
Wolfhouse.Copy !req
158. We're cousins?
Oh, this just gets better and better!Copy !req
159. We must be related through
our grandfather, Johan von Wolfhausen.Copy !req
160. Why are you taking him?
Where's he going?Copy !req
161. We kind of need to stick close.Copy !req
162. - He is of no concern to you.
- But he was just walking us through. He—Copy !req
163. You do not speak of Beerfest
outside of Beerfest!Copy !req
164. You do not bring outsiders to Beerfest.Copy !req
165. But our grandfather
was Johan von Wolf—Copy !req
166. Your grandfather
was no von Wolfhausen.Copy !req
167. Your grandfather was a thieving
bastard stable boy.Copy !req
168. - What did you say?
- Baron Ludwig von Wolfhausen...Copy !req
169. our great-grandfather, the most
legendary brewmeister in all Deutschland.Copy !req
170. He perfected the von Wolfhausen
beer recipe.Copy !req
171. It was the greatest beer in all the world.Copy !req
172. When Ludwig died, your grandfather stole
the only copy of the recipe created.Copy !req
173. Hold on a second.
Our grandfather didn't brew beer.Copy !req
174. He had this little sausage house
in Colorado. He couldn't—Copy !req
175. He could und he did.Copy !req
176. He stole our recipe und fled Germany
with his mother...Copy !req
177. a common Bavarian...Copy !req
178. What's the English word I'm looking for?Copy !req
179. Whore.Copy !req
180. Gam Gam a whore?Copy !req
181. Obviously there's
a translation problem here.Copy !req
182. Hooker. Prostitute. Slut for money.Copy !req
183. - Now you're crossing the line.
- No, you are crossing the line! He stole it!Copy !req
184. Und now, instead of having Deutschland's
greatest beer, we merely have fourth-best.Copy !req
185. Ja, we are not your cousins.Copy !req
186. You are the offspring of the bastard son
of some whore!Copy !req
187. - Don't call Gam Gam a whore! She's not!
- Punch me! Do it!Copy !req
188. Ja, you big tough guy.
Kill me, come on.Copy !req
189. Do it now! Kill me.
What are you waiting for?Copy !req
190. Typical Americans. This is why
we don't allow you in our Beerfest.Copy !req
191. You get a few drinks in you
und you become the Dirty Harry.Copy !req
192. You should go back to your strip malls
and drink your Zimas and Smirnoff Ices.Copy !req
193. Und then you can punch each other silly.Copy !req
194. Okay. Okay.Copy !req
195. Okay. Sounds like you guys
fancy yourselves drinkers, huh?Copy !req
196. Ja, maybe a little.
I think we just beat the Irish, so...Copy !req
197. - Oh, that's good. The champions. What?
- Well, I'll tell you what.Copy !req
198. Why don't you pick your best two?
Because you just opened up a can of corn.Copy !req
199. Corn.Copy !req
200. We are laughing.
We are laughing at you.Copy !req
201. - Our best two? You want our best two?
- The corn.Copy !req
202. How about our worst two, right?
Hammacher! Schlemmer!Copy !req
203. You take the big guy.
I'll get the little one.Copy !req
204. You ready, du kleiner Hosenscheißer?Copy !req
205. Everyone at once.
First team to finish wins. On my word.Copy !req
206. - Let's do this.
- Ja, do it.Copy !req
207. Hey, boys, why don't you let us
put a nipple on that for you?Copy !req
208. I remember my first beer.Copy !req
209. Prosit.Copy !req
210. Allow me to introduce our grandfather:Copy !req
211. Wolfgang von Wolfhausen.Copy !req
212. Take a good look...Copy !req
213. for this is a real von Wolfhausen.Copy !req
214. Grandpapa.Copy !req
215. Oh, shit.Copy !req
216. So you are the progeny of Johan.Copy !req
217. I am guessing that he is the one
who taught you how to drink beer.Copy !req
218. Now...Copy !req
219. where is our recipe?Copy !req
220. What fucking recipe?Copy !req
221. Friends...Copy !req
222. this is all that remains
of a thieving stable boy...Copy !req
223. who ran away to America
with his whore mother!Copy !req
224. I'm a sucker for family reunions.Copy !req
225. Here are a couple of euros.Copy !req
226. Go back and get a BJ
from your great-grandma, on me.Copy !req
227. Now get out of here.Copy !req
228. BJ! BJ! BJ! BJ! BJ! BJ!Copy !req
229. They called Grandpa a thief
and Gam Gam a whore!Copy !req
230. We gotta go back.
We gotta go back and beat those guys.Copy !req
231. - Oh, come on, man, that's crazy.
- Is it? We can do this.Copy !req
232. We can do what?Copy !req
233. Great Gam Gam.Copy !req
234. Mein boys. Oh, willkommen.Copy !req
235. Honey, what happened to your eye?Copy !req
236. I accidentally walked into a wall.
Yeah, the Berlin Wall.Copy !req
237. I'll tell Tippy to get
some cold pig stomach.Copy !req
238. We put that on Janny's eye.Copy !req
239. So tell me,
was the ceremony beautiful?Copy !req
240. Yeah. Very beautiful. I mean, gorgeous.Copy !req
241. Was it a peaceful resting place?Copy !req
242. Have you ever been
to the family resting place?Copy !req
243. No, but I've been told it is wonderful.Copy !req
244. - Quiet, lovely.
- Yeah.Copy !req
245. And how is Herr Schniedelwichsen?Copy !req
246. - Oh, he's fine. Great guy.
- Yeah. Good.Copy !req
247. He says hi.Copy !req
248. Oh, you boys have done a great thing.Copy !req
249. Now your grandpapa can rest in peace.Copy !req
250. She couldn't be more not a whore.Copy !req
251. We're gonna defend her honor.Copy !req
252. We're gonna defend Grandpa's honor!Copy !req
253. - We're gonna put together our own team!
- Yes.Copy !req
254. We'll get the biggest drinkers, the best
beer-gamers, the fastest chuggers.Copy !req
255. Then we're gonna go back
and kick the tar out of those Krauts!Copy !req
256. That's my brother!
God, I missed you.Copy !req
257. Beerfest it is.Copy !req
258. They want a war?Copy !req
259. We'll give them a war
they won't believe.Copy !req
260. So how'd you find him?Copy !req
261. Some dude, used to work
with him at the brewery.Copy !req
262. Haven't seen him since
Hands Across America.Copy !req
263. Oh, that's right.Copy !req
264. I heard that when the brewery gave
him his pink slip, he killed a guy.Copy !req
265. I heard that too.Copy !req
266. There he is.Copy !req
267. You got nothing, baby.
I got everything!Copy !req
268. You got nothing! You got nothing!Copy !req
269. We're gonna win this thing.Copy !req
270. Can I have your autograph?Copy !req
271. Oh, no autographs, kids.Copy !req
272. No, no, no. Thanks anyway.
Get you next time.Copy !req
273. Hey, guys. Good job out there, Naka.Copy !req
274. Hey, Landfill! Hey, big guy!Copy !req
275. Hey, look what the cat dragged in!Copy !req
276. I haven't seen you guys since...
Hands Across America?Copy !req
277. We were just saying that.Copy !req
278. We almost made it.
Couple breaks in the chain, right?Copy !req
279. What's going on?
You disappeared for a while.Copy !req
280. We heard you got fired from the brewery.Copy !req
281. Goddamn brewery!Copy !req
282. They brew 10,000 bottles of beer a day.Copy !req
283. I drink 45 off the assembly line,
and I'm the asshole.Copy !req
284. Jim Tobleson said they called in
a hostage negotiator.Copy !req
285. Jim Tobleson's a fucking Chatty Cathy.Copy !req
286. I did my three years up at the county pen.Copy !req
287. Made some friends, went Muslim.
Now I'm out, praise Allah.Copy !req
288. I heard that someone died that day.Copy !req
289. Yeah, somebody did die that day.Copy !req
290. Me.Copy !req
291. I had the greatest job in the world,
brewing cold, fresh joy for thousands.Copy !req
292. Not to mention all the beer
you could drink, right?Copy !req
293. They took it away from me.Copy !req
294. Yep, I'd trade all this in if I could get
that feeling back again.Copy !req
295. What?Copy !req
296. There he is.Copy !req
297. Nathan Cornwell has discovered...Copy !req
298. pneumono-ultra-microscopic-
silico-volcano-canaisis.Copy !req
299. Big round of applause, people.Copy !req
300. You want that geek?Copy !req
301. What's he gonna do, check my urine?Copy !req
302. I met Finkelstein back in college.Copy !req
303. He was a real brainiac, that nerd.Copy !req
304. Studied everything about everything.
Including beer.Copy !req
305. So shut the fuck up.Copy !req
306. What are you doing?
Put the frog on the table.Copy !req
307. Clean out the floxinator
or something, all right?Copy !req
308. People, listen up. Use your thumbs.Copy !req
309. Locate the seminal vesicle here,
the ejaculatory ducts here.Copy !req
310. Then stroke it.
Stroke it. Stroke it hard.Copy !req
311. Cup the gonads.
If you don't cup the gonads...Copy !req
312. Finky!Copy !req
313. Jan? Todd?
What are you guys doing here?Copy !req
314. - Hey, smart coat.
- Oh, thank you. It's rayon.Copy !req
315. What are you doing?Copy !req
316. We're extracting frog gamete
for cloning trials.Copy !req
317. You're jerking him off.Copy !req
318. - Who's the hippo?
- Phil Krundel.Copy !req
319. The name's Landfill.Copy !req
320. Listen, Fink.
We're putting together a drinking team.Copy !req
321. There's a competition
and we want you to be part of it.Copy !req
322. - Come on. I'm really busy.
- We're serious.Copy !req
323. You don't understand. I'm a respected
member of the scientific community.Copy !req
324. Sorry.Copy !req
325. - We can't do it without you, Fink.
- No chance. I have a job.Copy !req
326. I've got a house with a pool
and a two-car garage. I got three Ph.D.s.Copy !req
327. Hey! Don't do that!Copy !req
328. - I'm published in four journals.
- What?Copy !req
329. Toad Load Weekly?Copy !req
330. We need you, Fink.
America needs you.Copy !req
331. That sounds a little dramatic.Copy !req
332. That's the part we haven't told you.
We're competing against the Germans.Copy !req
333. Germans?Copy !req
334. Yeah. Big, blond, asshole Germans.Copy !req
335. You got 15 minutes to tell me more.Copy !req
336. - Can you move over, please?
- I like to sit in the middle.Copy !req
337. What am I supposed to do?Copy !req
338. You have room. You're little.Copy !req
339. - You wanna sit on this side?
- Fuck you.Copy !req
340. Jan, who are we meeting out here?Copy !req
341. - Jan, who are we meeting out here?
- Barry Badrinath.Copy !req
342. - What? No.
- Who's Barry Badrinath?Copy !req
343. - I'm putting a team together.
- Turn around.Copy !req
344. - Who's Barry?
- Don't worry.Copy !req
345. Who's Barry Badrinath?
Who's Barry Badrinath?Copy !req
346. Will you shut the hell up? Shut up.Copy !req
347. Barry Badrinath was the
best beer-gamer ever.Copy !req
348. Best at Quarters, at Pong,
best at everything.Copy !req
349. We should put him on our team.Copy !req
350. Well, actually, Barry and Todd
had a falling-out.Copy !req
351. - See, Barry doinked Todd's girlfriend.
- Yahtzee.Copy !req
352. - Zip it, Fink.
- Sorry.Copy !req
353. Just think about Gam Gam
for a minute, all right?Copy !req
354. - Is this guy really that good?
- Yeah.Copy !req
355. He's the best.Copy !req
356. We should put him on our team, then.Copy !req
357. - There he is.
- Where?Copy !req
358. Right there.Copy !req
359. Oh, my God.Copy !req
360. What happened to him?Copy !req
361. All right. It's a regular
hot-dog cart in here, huh?Copy !req
362. All right, here's how it works.Copy !req
363. One dollar to look at it.
Two dollars to touch it.Copy !req
364. Three dollars to watch me touch it.Copy !req
365. That's lots of nice-looking manhood.Copy !req
366. Back the fuck up, Antonio!Copy !req
367. My dick!Copy !req
368. My apologies.Copy !req
369. Five to touch it
while I touch my toes.Copy !req
370. Six dollars to touch it
while I touch your toe—Copy !req
371. Oh, hey, Jan. How are you?Copy !req
372. Todd. And Fink.Copy !req
373. - Hey, looking good, Finky.
- You too, Barry.Copy !req
374. I wish I could give you a deal here,
but my pimp's a real ball ache, you know?Copy !req
375. So it's $ 10 for a BJ,
$ 12 for an HJ, $ 15 for a ZJ.Copy !req
376. What's a ZJ?Copy !req
377. If you have to ask, big man,
you can't afford it.Copy !req
378. I got $4.Copy !req
379. Barry, we didn't come here for a BJ...Copy !req
380. or a ZJ or any kind of a J.Copy !req
381. Move along, then.
I got a mouth to feed.Copy !req
382. Barry, wait.Copy !req
383. Jan, hold on.
That's not such a good idea.Copy !req
384. Barry!Copy !req
385. There's this big beer-games competition.Copy !req
386. We're putting a team together.Copy !req
387. - We want you.
- Twenty-five bucks.Copy !req
388. No, no, no. You'd be training
with us over the next year.Copy !req
389. - Thirty bucks?
- Jan, forget it.Copy !req
390. No, just show us some of
the old coin tricks. Come on.Copy !req
391. Oh, please, Jan, let's get out of here.Copy !req
392. - No. Wait.
- No?Copy !req
393. Clearly, you've fallen on hard times.Copy !req
394. This would be a chance
to get back to the glory days.Copy !req
395. It's a chance to show you still got it.
You still got it, right?Copy !req
396. You bet your ass I do.Copy !req
397. Show them.Copy !req
398. Watch and learn, baby diapers.Copy !req
399. Just like college.Copy !req
400. It's nothing to worry about.
He's shaking the cobwebs off.Copy !req
401. I got it. I got it.Copy !req
402. All right, here we go.Copy !req
403. - A little sticky on the:
- Yeah.Copy !req
404. - This guy blows.
- Come on. You can do it.Copy !req
405. Glasses, maybe. I...Copy !req
406. What are you looking at?Copy !req
407. Barry, what happened to you?Copy !req
408. Get out of here! Get out of here!Copy !req
409. - Get out of here!
- Barry, Barry—Copy !req
410. - Get out of here!
- Help! Help!Copy !req
411. So, what about
Dan "The Magic Man" Dunchkowski?Copy !req
412. He'd down a beer ball
with every meal.Copy !req
413. He's no good.
He had that Al Roker surgery.Copy !req
414. He went black?Copy !req
415. Don't be a moron.
He got his stomach stapled.Copy !req
416. Most he can fit are two Triscuits
and a glass of water.Copy !req
417. Really?Copy !req
418. Oh, boy.Copy !req
419. Wolfhouses, I want on the team.Copy !req
420. Forget about it. You're done.
You don't have any more, Badrinath.Copy !req
421. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
422. He's got a gun!Copy !req
423. Unbelievable!Copy !req
424. That's incredible.Copy !req
425. I'm better when I'm drunk.Copy !req
426. - I'll say.
- Of course. So is everybody.Copy !req
427. Hey. Looks like we got ourselves a team!Copy !req
428. - Get them in there.
- All right!Copy !req
429. Well, boys, if we're gonna train...Copy !req
430. we're gonna need a training facility!Copy !req
431. It's perfect!Copy !req
432. It's amazing!Copy !req
433. Look at the size of this
graduated cylinder: 2000 milliliters!Copy !req
434. A direct-draw beer dispenser.Copy !req
435. Half-barrel capacity,
with an anti-foaming mechanism.Copy !req
436. These are really the coins?Copy !req
437. Hey. I think I found us
a creepy new mascot.Copy !req
438. Yeah, fuck it.
Yeah, give it a rim job.Copy !req
439. Don't. That belonged to our grandpa.Copy !req
440. Sorry.Copy !req
441. Listen up, fellas.Copy !req
442. The next 11 months
are gonna be tough.Copy !req
443. As tough as anything you've ever done.Copy !req
444. We're gonna drink beer.
And a lot of it.Copy !req
445. If anybody here isn't up to it...Copy !req
446. I'm gonna give you one last chance
to walk out that door.Copy !req
447. - That's a good one, Todd.
- Good. That's what I wanted to hear.Copy !req
448. Because in this silver slice of
heaven here are 1984 ounces of beer.Copy !req
449. Golden, delicious beer.Copy !req
450. And no one leaves here until we finish
every single last drop.Copy !req
451. All right, let's have the keys.Copy !req
452. - All you guys. You too, big boy.
- Don't lose these.Copy !req
453. All right, Fink, hit me.Copy !req
454. Sorry. I'm a mathlete, not an athlete.Copy !req
455. Hey, Barry, how about
a little warm-up match?Copy !req
456. Good one. But I'll leave
the practicing to the amateurs.Copy !req
457. All right, guys, let's focus, huh?
Huddle up.Copy !req
458. All right!Copy !req
459. Guys, those Germans
are incredible drinkers.Copy !req
460. Better than anything I've ever seen.Copy !req
461. Now, Fink, they've got
this thing called The Boot.Copy !req
462. There's a secret way to drink it.
I don't know what it is.Copy !req
463. - You'll have to figure that out for us.
- You got it, Hot Toddy.Copy !req
464. One more thing,
I cannot stress this enough, people.Copy !req
465. This is a super-secret competition.
You cannot tell anybody about this.Copy !req
466. Or else what?Copy !req
467. The guy that brought us there,
they killed him.Copy !req
468. But let's not worry about that now.Copy !req
469. - Let's drink some beer!
- Yeah!Copy !req
470. - All right!
- Yeah, cheers!Copy !req
471. Ice cold.Copy !req
472. - Anyone else's cold?
- Really cold.Copy !req
473. Drinking and dancing at the same time.
That's what's making it tough.Copy !req
474. Thought there might be a bug in there.Copy !req
475. My teeth hurt, it's so cold.
That's what makes me have to stop a bit.Copy !req
476. - How many beers in this thing?
- About 125 beers, yeah.Copy !req
477. A hundred and twenty-five?Copy !req
478. Might have a cavity here.Copy !req
479. - You're dead, bitch.
- Oh, yeah?Copy !req
480. Remember we made Fudgsicles out
of shit and Mark DeFanti ate one?Copy !req
481. Eight points.Copy !req
482. These big ones have
a different flight pattern.Copy !req
483. Nobody said it was gonna be easy.Copy !req
484. That shiner's sure starting to fade, huh?Copy !req
485. Yeah, I kind of wish it wouldn't.Copy !req
486. It's great motivation.
A reminder of the humiliation.Copy !req
487. I wouldn't mind having it
while training.Copy !req
488. Okay.Copy !req
489. You are a good friend.Copy !req
490. All right, here we go.Copy !req
491. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
492. I know you love it, Muscle Lips.
Let's go.Copy !req
493. Lap it up, you hungry son of a bitch.Copy !req
494. Sorry.Copy !req
495. Get a handle on your Frisbee, college boy.Copy !req
496. Don't go there. You do not sully a yarmulke,
you goyim schmendrik miskayt.Copy !req
497. I don't know why you're here.
You can't drink beer.Copy !req
498. I'll show you how to drink
a beer, motherfucker.Copy !req
499. Fucking man cow.Copy !req
500. Hey, I think somebody's trying
to chug in my face!Copy !req
501. Look out, Germans!Copy !req
502. You got chutzpah, Fuckelstein.Copy !req
503. - That's great.
- Hey, Todd.Copy !req
504. About the old girlfriend thing.
Can we bury the hatchet, buddy?Copy !req
505. - I don't know.
- It was just a one-night stand, right?Copy !req
506. Wasn't even that good-looking.
Real dead fish, right?Copy !req
507. I mean, she just laid there, taking it
like a plastic fuck doll, am I right?Copy !req
508. I happen to have married
that plastic fuck doll!Copy !req
509. Todd, no!Copy !req
510. Hey! Get off him!Copy !req
511. Someone's chewing my leg!Copy !req
512. I hate you, Badrinath!Copy !req
513. Oh, my God. Phil. Phil, honey.Copy !req
514. Oh, my God.Copy !req
515. Hello? Yes.Copy !req
516. We need an ambulance immediately
at 622 Francis Drive.Copy !req
517. Come on, Phil.
Stay with me, honey.Copy !req
518. Oh, my God, what is that?Copy !req
519. Ham.Copy !req
520. Phil?Copy !req
521. Not again.Copy !req
522. How'd we do?Copy !req
523. Not good.Copy !req
524. If we're gonna drink like the Germans,
I think we're gonna need a little help.Copy !req
525. You don't have to yell.Copy !req
526. Don't say anything to Great Gam Gam
about the competition.Copy !req
527. Don't talk about her being a whore.Copy !req
528. - She's a whore?
- No, she's not a whore.Copy !req
529. - So what if she was a whore?
- She's not.Copy !req
530. I'm just saying, some of
my best friends are whores.Copy !req
531. Yeah, we know.Copy !req
532. Nice to meet you, Mrs. Wolfhouse.Copy !req
533. - Can I help you?
- Who are you?Copy !req
534. My name's Cherry.Copy !req
535. - Is everything okay?
- Everything is fine.Copy !req
536. Great Gam Gam.Copy !req
537. Cherry is here to help me
now that my Johan is gone.Copy !req
538. Mein darling great-grandboys...Copy !req
539. und their delicious-looking friends.Copy !req
540. Come in.Copy !req
541. And summer sausage.Copy !req
542. Just came out of the refrigerator.Copy !req
543. Here, try this. Oh, no, wait.
Here, let me warm it up for you.Copy !req
544. No, that's fine. We're okay.Copy !req
545. When we were at Oktoberfest, we noticed
that the Germans were excellent drinkers.Copy !req
546. - Oh, yeah, that is true. That is a true thing.
- How do they get good?Copy !req
547. Well, from the time
that they are little kids...Copy !req
548. Germans are raised
to be excellent beer drinkers.Copy !req
549. - How?
- Well, for one thing...Copy !req
550. they train high up in the Alps.Copy !req
551. Interesting. High-altitude training.
Similar to the Kenyan marathon runners.Copy !req
552. They are also taught to relax
the muscles of the throat.Copy !req
553. Germans can pretty much
stick anything down there.Copy !req
554. I myself can probably fit in at least...
Oh, at least nine inches.Copy !req
555. - Here, let me show you.
- No. You don't have to demonstrate.Copy !req
556. What else do the Germans do?Copy !req
557. They also practice by drinking
the urine of a ram.Copy !req
558. - The what?
- They drink ram's piss.Copy !req
559. - Because of the pH balance?
- No.Copy !req
560. Because if you can drink ram's piss,
fuck, you can drink almost anything.Copy !req
561. - She said "fuck."
- Gam, who's drinking piss, honey?Copy !req
562. No, I was saying it was a tradition
back in the old country.Copy !req
563. Damn, that's nasty. The old country
must have been fucked up.Copy !req
564. Now, come on, baby,
it's time for your nap.Copy !req
565. - Come on.
- Okay. Well...Copy !req
566. See you boys later.Copy !req
567. I always sleep better
when I have a little sausage in me.Copy !req
568. Look, if you ask me...Copy !req
569. I'd have to say the whole whore thing
is a real possibility.Copy !req
570. Bavarians have been warming
sausages like that for hundreds of years.Copy !req
571. Would you say
it's their oldest profession?Copy !req
572. Shut up, Landfill.Copy !req
573. All right, but more importantly,
where are we gonna find a ram?Copy !req
574. I'm gonna fucking puke.Copy !req
575. That's the most
disgusting thing I've ever drank.Copy !req
576. I doubt that, playboy.Copy !req
577. Oh, God, is there anything better?Copy !req
578. Not right now.Copy !req
579. You know, fellas,
maybe training alone on a rooftop...Copy !req
580. drinking ram piss isn't the way to go.Copy !req
581. Maybe we should get out there and
mix it up with some randoms, you know?Copy !req
582. - Smart idea, college boy.
- Go test our mettle.Copy !req
583. Yeah, challenge somebody.
Challenge ourselves.Copy !req
584. Let's get bombed!Copy !req
585. Yeah!Copy !req
586. Hey. Who ordered
the Queer Eye makeover?Copy !req
587. We're the party brigade.Copy !req
588. We're here to play
some drinking games.Copy !req
589. Drink. You're rowing on the wrong side.Copy !req
590. You've gotta drink.Copy !req
591. I've got one.Copy !req
592. I never made out with Tommy Mullarky.Copy !req
593. My turn. I never fooled around
with Coach Gerber.Copy !req
594. This one's called the Strikeout.Copy !req
595. What you're gonna do is take a hit...Copy !req
596. chug your beer, do a shot,
then blow out the smoke.Copy !req
597. Here goes nothing.Copy !req
598. Careful, dude. It's gonna fuck you up.Copy !req
599. That's not bad at all.Copy !req
600. "Strikeout," right?Copy !req
601. That's nothing.Copy !req
602. Don't...Copy !req
603. really, however, see what...Copy !req
604. all the...Copy !req
605. fuss is about.Copy !req
606. - Oh, yeah. Way to go Dr. Finklestein.
- Do I know you?Copy !req
607. - Yeah. It's me, Jerry, your paperboy.
- Hey, Jerry.Copy !req
608. While I have you here, you forgot
my Sunday supplement last week.Copy !req
609. Wake up, Finky. Wake up.Copy !req
610. Cops, cops, cops!Copy !req
611. Dude, aren't you like 40?Copy !req
612. I'm 33.Copy !req
613. Hey, what the hell?Copy !req
614. Help!Copy !req
615. What a great morning.Copy !req
616. Night, ladies.Copy !req
617. - Night, Todd.
- Bye, Todd.Copy !req
618. Say hi to the missus.Copy !req
619. All right, guys, come on.Copy !req
620. - One, two, three.
- Go.Copy !req
621. My glasses!Copy !req
622. Two, three, go.Copy !req
623. Maybe we'll move to mugs tomorrow.Copy !req
624. He's so strict.Copy !req
625. Hey, Finky...Copy !req
626. - ... how you doing with The Boot?
- Not there yet.Copy !req
627. I have figured out the problem,
I just don't know the solution yet.Copy !req
628. Check this out.Copy !req
629. Hey, fellas, gather up.Copy !req
630. Here's the thing.Copy !req
631. When you drink, the shape of the boot
causes an air bubble to form in the toe.Copy !req
632. The bubble.Copy !req
633. This air bubble
shoots around the heel...Copy !req
634. and explodes towards your face
while drinking.Copy !req
635. In your face, it explodes.Copy !req
636. - It's impossible to handle.
- It's impossible to handle.Copy !req
637. It's unavoidable.
The Germans know how.Copy !req
638. I find the whole thing frustrating
because I can't figure it out.Copy !req
639. It's frustrating.Copy !req
640. It's frustrating.Copy !req
641. It's frustrating.Copy !req
642. It's frustrating. It's frustrat—Copy !req
643. Can you get the puppet off of me?Copy !req
644. - Hey, it's Popo.
- Sorry.Copy !req
645. You knocked his head off.Copy !req
646. Wait, wait. There's something in there.Copy !req
647. Hey, what is that?Copy !req
648. - Looks like it's German.
- Aren't you guys German?Copy !req
649. - Yeah, so?
- Give me that.Copy !req
650. I used to work
on a German cruise ship.Copy !req
651. Yeah, it's a beer recipe.Copy !req
652. - Really?
- What recipe?Copy !req
653. Must be the old German beer recipe.Copy !req
654. Those Germans said our grandfather
stole their family recipe.Copy !req
655. - if he had it, why didn't he brew it?
- Hebrew?Copy !req
656. - Maybe he didn't know it was in here.
- It supposed to be good?Copy !req
657. If this is the recipe, this used to be
Germany's greatest beer.Copy !req
658. Okay, we want three cups.Copy !req
659. That's right. Good.Copy !req
660. Pour it on in, pour it on in.Copy !req
661. Okay, good. Let's have a little...Copy !req
662. - How is it, Jan?
- Tell us.Copy !req
663. It's...Copy !req
664. It's beautiful.Copy !req
665. - It's magical.
- It's laughing at me.Copy !req
666. I wish I could brush my teeth with it.Copy !req
667. - I wanna put my dick in it.
- I want it to put its dick in me.Copy !req
668. I wish it were winter, we could
make it into ice and skate on it.Copy !req
669. Then melt it in the springtime
and drink it.Copy !req
670. Hey, what's the matter, Jan?Copy !req
671. This means Gam Gam
really was a whore.Copy !req
672. It is good, it is good.Copy !req
673. I can't serve it fast enough.Copy !req
674. - Hey, buddy.
- Go with God.Copy !req
675. Hey, Wolfie. Give me a Schnitz.Copy !req
676. - Nice bottle.
- Hey, Landfill.Copy !req
677. Look at this guy! He's getting better.Copy !req
678. Dude, you want a Schnitz?Copy !req
679. Do you want a tip with that?Copy !req
680. Yeah.Copy !req
681. Good one.Copy !req
682. - Give me six Schnitzes.
- What the doctor ordered.Copy !req
683. Drink, drink, drink!Copy !req
684. Good, good, good.Copy !req
685. Special delivery!Copy !req
686. I have this special delivery
for Herr Baron.Copy !req
687. Can't you see we are training?Copy !req
688. I am so sorry, but this package
comes all the way from America, ja...Copy !req
689. and look, it is marked:
"Most urgent."Copy !req
690. What is it, Grandpapa?Copy !req
691. They have the recipe.Copy !req
692. - Who else knows of this package?
- Absolutely no one.Copy !req
693. Only me. It's just me.Copy !req
694. - Dispose of him.
- Wait!Copy !req
695. No, no, no! What about
"Don't shoot the messenger," right?Copy !req
696. We're not going to shoot you.Copy !req
697. Boys, prepare your things.Copy !req
698. We are going to America.Copy !req
699. To get our recipe!Copy !req
700. Hasta la vista, messenger boy.Copy !req
701. Up your nose mit the rubber hose!Copy !req
702. I don't really have a move
except this one.Copy !req
703. Are you out?Copy !req
704. Finish your beer, asshole.Copy !req
705. Asshole!Copy !req
706. Asshole! Asshole! Asshole!Copy !req
707. Eat that tomato in one bite, asshole.Copy !req
708. Asshole! Asshole! Asshole!Copy !req
709. - Good job, asshole.
- Oh, no.Copy !req
710. - Where you going?
- Get out of here.Copy !req
711. Watch out. He's coming your way.Copy !req
712. See you later, asshole.Copy !req
713. Hey, Jan.Copy !req
714. - You all right?
- That's a good shot.Copy !req
715. Like the love.Copy !req
716. Yeah.Copy !req
717. Looking good, Barry.Copy !req
718. Looking good,
you handsome motherfucker.Copy !req
719. We gotta get you out of those
wet clothes and into a dry martini.Copy !req
720. - What?
- I said, "Out of the martini?"Copy !req
721. - Get away from me.
- All right.Copy !req
722. Two shots, please.Copy !req
723. How about a little Sex on the Beach?Copy !req
724. I think my place is closer.Copy !req
725. - You wanna get out of here?
- You looking for a little slap and tickle?Copy !req
726. Oh, yeah. Something like that.Copy !req
727. I'm gonna go grab a taxi, baby.Copy !req
728. Okay.Copy !req
729. - Yeah?
- Barry, what are you doing?Copy !req
730. You kidding me? She's hot as hell.Copy !req
731. I'm looking for
a little slap and pickle.Copy !req
732. You sure you wanna do this?
You're drunk.Copy !req
733. I'm drunk. You're drunk.
Everybody's drunk!Copy !req
734. Hi, Daddy.Copy !req
735. Hey, Mama.Copy !req
736. Damn, that's nasty.Copy !req
737. Come here.Copy !req
738. I'm gonna butter your bread, baby.Copy !req
739. Nice and toasty, please.Copy !req
740. - You wanna get out of here?
- Looking for a little slap and tickle?Copy !req
741. Something like that.Copy !req
742. I think I dropped my monkey.Copy !req
743. How many licks does it take
to get to the center.Copy !req
744. I'm gonna rock your world.Copy !req
745. I am going to break your dick off.Copy !req
746. Suck them.Copy !req
747. Lick them clean, Daddy.Copy !req
748. Suck them. Suck them.Copy !req
749. Lick them clean. Yes!Copy !req
750. Suck them! Suck them!Copy !req
751. Now, don't peek.Copy !req
752. Quit squirming!Copy !req
753. Oh, Daddy.Copy !req
754. Oh, you dirty motherfucker, right there.Copy !req
755. Come on.Copy !req
756. I knew it the whole time.Copy !req
757. I'm better than you!Copy !req
758. Somebody had the pig snouts over here?Copy !req
759. Who ordered the pig snouts?Copy !req
760. Gentlemen...Copy !req
761. it appears it is time to initiate
Operation Recipe Retrieve.Copy !req
762. Is that the title we all agreed on?Copy !req
763. I kind of like Operation Stein Grab.Copy !req
764. Or what about Brauheist 2006?Copy !req
765. - Oh, that's a good one.
- It's kind of spunky.Copy !req
766. - Ja, it's fun.
- One second.Copy !req
767. - What if it takes longer than a year?
- Ja, I was hoping to be done by 2007.Copy !req
768. That's true. I have big plans for 2007.Copy !req
769. Ja, we should take a vote, because
I never liked Recipe Retrieve either.Copy !req
770. This is not a democracy.Copy !req
771. We always waste so much time
arguing about names.Copy !req
772. I'm sick of it.Copy !req
773. I came up with Operation Recipe Retrieve,
and that's the name!Copy !req
774. - Okay, fine.
- I like it now.Copy !req
775. I'm sorry.Copy !req
776. It's just that I start to feel
so cooped up in these U-boats.Copy !req
777. I had a bad experience once.Copy !req
778. Thank you.Copy !req
779. Now, let's go get what belongs to us.Copy !req
780. Battle stations.Copy !req
781. Landfill! Landfill! Landfill!Copy !req
782. Watch out. Okay, here comes
the bubble. Get ready.Copy !req
783. Damn it! It's the bubble!Copy !req
784. I know. No, it's a bitch.
Don't worry. Come on.Copy !req
785. You're getting better. Next time.Copy !req
786. - Hey, guys.
- Hey, Krista.Copy !req
787. - Can I try that?
- Honey, we're practicing.Copy !req
788. - Hey, fill her up, okay?
- Practicing for what?Copy !req
789. - Nothing.
- No, seriously.Copy !req
790. You said you were practicing.
Practicing for what?Copy !req
791. Hey, honey, let's go take a look
at the glockenspiels.Copy !req
792. No, I don't wanna look
at the goddamn glockenspiels.Copy !req
793. - They're really shiny. Come on.
- I don't wanna.Copy !req
794. Well, hello, Dirty Harrys!Copy !req
795. Holy cameltoe.Copy !req
796. Ja, the last time we saw you...Copy !req
797. you were wearing
your grandfather's ashes as a hat.Copy !req
798. You have one minute
to march out that door.Copy !req
799. We have come for our recipe.Copy !req
800. That's our recipe.Copy !req
801. We figured you would say that.Copy !req
802. Despite your thievery, we are prepared
to buy it from you, right now...Copy !req
803. in cash.Copy !req
804. Big deal.
A suitcase full of Monopoly money?Copy !req
805. Come on, those are euros.Copy !req
806. What's that, like pesos?
Yeah! Come on.Copy !req
807. That is legal European tender.Copy !req
808. We should have brought deutsche marks!Copy !req
809. - But they are so hard to find!
- They're not!Copy !req
810. No, there's five ATMs.Copy !req
811. No, there's a Quickie Mart
right around the corner.Copy !req
812. Enough!Copy !req
813. Here is 500,000 American dollars.Copy !req
814. It's not for sale.Copy !req
815. Well, why don't we make it interesting?Copy !req
816. You seem like sporting fellows, no?Copy !req
817. I am so sorry. I'm really sorry.Copy !req
818. How about a match?Copy !req
819. You win, you keep the recipe
und the money.Copy !req
820. We win...Copy !req
821. - ... the recipe is ours.
- Give me that thing.Copy !req
822. All right, Barry. It's showtime.Copy !req
823. Yeah, there's something
I haven't quite told you yet.Copy !req
824. I don't play Pong anymore.Copy !req
825. What are you talking about, man?
You're the best. Here, let's go.Copy !req
826. - Come on. Let's go kick their ass.
- I don't fucking play Pong!Copy !req
827. Jesus, calm down.Copy !req
828. Pull it together.
You're acting a little crazy here.Copy !req
829. Your wife didn't think I was crazy when
I double-teamed her with "Silo" Johnson.Copy !req
830. - The double-team.
- The double-team.Copy !req
831. Yeah, that's right.
Never knew it was a three-way, did you?Copy !req
832. - With the Silo?
- Yeah.Copy !req
833. Let me tell you something:Copy !req
834. - He wasn't storing corn in that thing.
- Son of a bitch!Copy !req
835. Fuck it! I quit.Copy !req
836. What? Barry!Copy !req
837. The fuck is that?Copy !req
838. Are we playing or not?Copy !req
839. Time to scheiße or get off the crapper.Copy !req
840. Get bent, umlaut. We're gonna sell
the shit out of this beer.Copy !req
841. You are making a big mistake, cowboy.Copy !req
842. Don't think you have seen the last of us.Copy !req
843. Oh, I forgot the money.Copy !req
844. You should get a pinball machine
that works.Copy !req
845. That machine works just fine.Copy !req
846. Does it?Copy !req
847. Folks, I'm sorry. Finish your meals.Copy !req
848. Enjoy. Let's— Come on,
let's have some polka, all right?Copy !req
849. - Fuck.
- Hey.Copy !req
850. - You know we should have played them.
- I wasn't about to give them that recipe.Copy !req
851. - What do you wanna do about Barry?
- We don't need him.Copy !req
852. We can get someone else.Copy !req
853. What's that?Copy !req
854. Local family restaurant...Copy !req
855. - That's us.
- ... or disease-infested rat hole?Copy !req
856. Exposé Colorado has this exclusive
interview with former kitchen workers...Copy !req
857. who will tell a story that will curdle
your strudel.Copy !req
858. What the fuck?Copy !req
859. We were undocumented aliens smuggled off
in a cargo container to work in the kitchen.Copy !req
860. You gotta be kidding me.Copy !req
861. It's very common for German restaurants
to use immigrant labor.Copy !req
862. It's true, Sandy.Copy !req
863. Tell us about the work conditions.Copy !req
864. The biggest surprise,
other than the oppressive hours...Copy !req
865. was the unsanitary conditions.Copy !req
866. Yeah. Last month my finger was cut off
with the cake mixer.Copy !req
867. When my finger fell into the cake batter,
they didn't even stop.Copy !req
868. - They just kept making the cupcakes.
- Dear Lord.Copy !req
869. And the rats— Just yesterday I opened up
a bottle of Schnitzelgeigerbräu...Copy !req
870. and guess what I found?
A rat fetus inside.Copy !req
871. - It's true, Sandy.
- Rat fetus?Copy !req
872. - Oh, my God.
- Goddamn it!Copy !req
873. Now we really gotta kick
those guys' asses.Copy !req
874. Absolutely.Copy !req
875. Schnitzengiggle Tavern.Copy !req
876. No, no. It was totally false.
It was a joke.Copy !req
877. Yeah, I understand.Copy !req
878. Canceled reservation.Copy !req
879. Schnitzengiggle.Copy !req
880. No, no, no. No rats. No rats at all.Copy !req
881. We've been rat-free since 1976.Copy !req
882. I promise—Copy !req
883. All right, no problem.Copy !req
884. - Another one?
- Yeah.Copy !req
885. Schnitzengiggle.Copy !req
886. No, I'm very happy
with my long-distance service.Copy !req
887. Yes. This is a really bad time. Thanks.Copy !req
888. God. Solicitors.Copy !req
889. Take this one.Copy !req
890. Schnitzengiggle Tavern.Copy !req
891. - It's the health board.
- Hang up. Hang up.Copy !req
892. - Give me this.
- Put that in the cooler.Copy !req
893. Guys...Copy !req
894. I'm really sorry...Copy !req
895. - ... but I gotta quit the team.
- What are you talking about?Copy !req
896. I got fired from the lab
due to slipping performance.Copy !req
897. So a couple of frogs didn't get
their around-the-world.Copy !req
898. No, you don't understand.Copy !req
899. I don't know how it happened,
but somehow...Copy !req
900. I cloned a batch of monkey-frogs.Copy !req
901. Don't they hand out
Nobel Prizes for that?Copy !req
902. Let me see that.Copy !req
903. Let me see you little...Copy !req
904. - Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God!Copy !req
905. What have you done?Copy !req
906. Landfill?Copy !req
907. What's wrong?Copy !req
908. Krista said she couldn't handle
all the lies and the drinking anymore.Copy !req
909. She took the kids and left.Copy !req
910. Oh, my God.Copy !req
911. You've got kids?Copy !req
912. It's okay. It's okay. I'm okay.Copy !req
913. I just need some time.Copy !req
914. - Maybe a beer.
- Get him a beer.Copy !req
915. Thank you.Copy !req
916. Did you know he had kids?Copy !req
917. Schwarzemaiden to Iron Eagle.
Come in, Iron Eagle.Copy !req
918. Iron Eagle, are you there?Copy !req
919. Mission accomplished.Copy !req
920. Mission accomplished. I got it.Copy !req
921. I got it.Copy !req
922. Cherry?Copy !req
923. Hey. Okay, now.Copy !req
924. - Don't be rash, Phillip.
- How did they get to you?Copy !req
925. I was in the employ of the von Wolfhausen
family long before I came to this stinkhole.Copy !req
926. And now that I have
your precious beer recipe, I can go.Copy !req
927. Well, you're gonna have to
get through me first.Copy !req
928. What?Copy !req
929. Yeah, girlfriend!Copy !req
930. Come on!Copy !req
931. Yeah!Copy !req
932. Feel that pulling you down?
That's the yeast, baby.Copy !req
933. It's like quicksand.Copy !req
934. Say goodbye.Copy !req
935. Love you.Copy !req
936. Hey, Landfill, where are you, buddy?Copy !req
937. Why don't we have a beer
and talk about it?Copy !req
938. Lan—Copy !req
939. No!Copy !req
940. That's it. We're packing it in.Copy !req
941. What, the team?Copy !req
942. The team, the beer, the restaurant.
All of it.Copy !req
943. - What? No, you're crazy—
- Jan. Let it go.Copy !req
944. Our friend is dead.Copy !req
945. It's over.Copy !req
946. Landfill could eat a ton.Copy !req
947. But he could also love a ton.Copy !req
948. He had this habit
of swallowing his food whole.Copy !req
949. I called him "The Tiger Shark."Copy !req
950. I used to joke
that if you cut open his belly...Copy !req
951. you would find a license plate
and a tire and half of an 8-year-old boy.Copy !req
952. One time, he farted an entire plum.Copy !req
953. I was plumb surprised.Copy !req
954. I always told him
to try to chew his food better...Copy !req
955. but he never listened to me.Copy !req
956. But that was Landfill.Copy !req
957. He was a fat asshole.Copy !req
958. But...Copy !req
959. he was my fat asshole.Copy !req
960. - Hello.
- Hey, Laurie. How are you?Copy !req
961. - God, you're looking good.
- Thanks, Barry.Copy !req
962. Wow, what have you been up to?Copy !req
963. Me, l—Copy !req
964. - Working on bridges. Under bridges.
- Like an architect?Copy !req
965. Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
966. - Still in contact with the Silo?
- The Silo.Copy !req
967. I'll talk to you later. Bye.Copy !req
968. Sorry. Hi.Copy !req
969. Good to see you.Copy !req
970. - Krista, I'm so sorry.
- Thank you. Thank you for coming.Copy !req
971. I appreciate it. Thank you.Copy !req
972. - Krista, I can't begin to tell you how sorry—
- You should be ashamed of yourself.Copy !req
973. Oh, my God.Copy !req
974. Oh, my God!Copy !req
975. Great Gam Gam.
What are you doing here?Copy !req
976. I too came to pay my respects
to a good man.Copy !req
977. But unlike you, I am not weeping.Copy !req
978. We're not weeping. We're mourning.
Our friend just committed suicide.Copy !req
979. - When were you going to tell me?
- Tell you what?Copy !req
980. That you are not competing in Beerfest.Copy !req
981. - How did you know about that?
- One death.Copy !req
982. - We should see if they got crab cakes left.
- Oh, great idea.Copy !req
983. Stay put, you.Copy !req
984. I want you all to hear the true story...Copy !req
985. of the Baron Ludwig von Wolfhausen,
who fell in love...Copy !req
986. with a beautiful young Bavarian whore.Copy !req
987. So you really were a whore?Copy !req
988. What do you think this is?Copy !req
989. You said you got kicked
in the face by a Clydesdale.Copy !req
990. This is the mark of the whore.Copy !req
991. It was a simple time, a beautiful time.Copy !req
992. You see, the Baron Ludwig
and I were in love.Copy !req
993. But we had to keep our love secret...Copy !req
994. because he was married
to a young baroness.Copy !req
995. We also had to keep
your grandfather's birth a secret...Copy !req
996. because he was
the baron's first-born son.Copy !req
997. Wait, Grandpa was the first-born?Copy !req
998. Yes.Copy !req
999. But the baroness found out about it,
me and my young Johan...Copy !req
1000. and had us tarred and feathered
and run out of town.Copy !req
1001. You two are the rightful heirs
to the von Wolfhausen brewery.Copy !req
1002. You should have the balls
to take back what is yours.Copy !req
1003. Wow, you even talk like a whore.Copy !req
1004. We are all whores in some way,
Mr. Finkelstein.Copy !req
1005. She's right.Copy !req
1006. You boys are a team, und a good one.Copy !req
1007. If you can't do it for your grandfather
or your country or your dead friend...Copy !req
1008. do it for yourselves.Copy !req
1009. - I'm in.
- Me too.Copy !req
1010. - Hell, yeah! I'm in.
- Yeah!Copy !req
1011. - Yeah!
- I can't do it.Copy !req
1012. I can't play Pong.Copy !req
1013. It happened a couple years after college.Copy !req
1014. I was in Thailand,
playing Ping-Pong in Ding Dang.Copy !req
1015. I was in a real high-stakes game
in some opium den.Copy !req
1016. Turned out the guys I was playing
aren't the kind of guys who like to lose.Copy !req
1017. After I beat them...Copy !req
1018. they beat me.Copy !req
1019. Worked me over pretty good.Copy !req
1020. And this is hard to say...Copy !req
1021. but they held me down...Copy !req
1022. and they shoved
a Ping-Pong paddle up my ass.Copy !req
1023. It's never been the same.Copy !req
1024. I'm damaged goods.Copy !req
1025. Gosh, Barry, I'm so sorry.Copy !req
1026. I don't know what I would do if somebody
shoved a paddle handle up my ass.Copy !req
1027. Wasn't the handle.Copy !req
1028. I've been shitting pancakes ever since.Copy !req
1029. Mr. Badrinath...Copy !req
1030. we are not so different, you and I.Copy !req
1031. I've had all kinds of things
shoved up my ass.Copy !req
1032. I got over it.Copy !req
1033. You will too.Copy !req
1034. You will too.Copy !req
1035. - So much to digest in there.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1036. Calgon, take me away.Copy !req
1037. You guys are my family.Copy !req
1038. Without you, I got nothing.Copy !req
1039. Let's do this for Landfill...Copy !req
1040. and for Johan...Copy !req
1041. and for Great Gam Gam.Copy !req
1042. One question.Copy !req
1043. Who we gonna get to replace Landfill?Copy !req
1044. Now, this is the party
I was hoping to find.Copy !req
1045. Landfill? You're alive?Copy !req
1046. No, I'm not Landfill.Copy !req
1047. I'm Landfill's twin brother, Gil.Copy !req
1048. - Gil?
- Gil?Copy !req
1049. I taught Landfill
everything he knew about drinking beer.Copy !req
1050. I wanna fulfill his legacy
by taking his place on your team.Copy !req
1051. - You must be Fink.
- How'd you know?Copy !req
1052. Landfill told me everything about you.Copy !req
1053. I feel like I know all you guys.Copy !req
1054. So we won't have that awkward
get-to-know-each-other stage.Copy !req
1055. - Perfect.
- And if I could just ask one favor.Copy !req
1056. - Name it.
- if it wouldn't be too uncomfortable...Copy !req
1057. I was hoping maybe you guys
could call me Landfill, in honor of him.Copy !req
1058. - Yeah, sure, sure.
- Sure.Copy !req
1059. It'd be like we never lost Landfill.Copy !req
1060. Landfill...Copy !req
1061. it would be an honor
if you would join us.Copy !req
1062. Cheers.Copy !req
1063. Oh, my God, he's faster than Landfill.Copy !req
1064. Oh, my God, what is that, bratwurst?Copy !req
1065. - He even smells like Landfill.
- God, someone open a window, fast.Copy !req
1066. Wait!Copy !req
1067. - I wanna bask in it.
- Yeah, yeah. Just let it be.Copy !req
1068. Welcome back, Landfill.Copy !req
1069. Hey, let's go get sour on some Krauts.Copy !req
1070. Yeah!Copy !req
1071. - Yeah!
- Come on!Copy !req
1072. Yeah!Copy !req
1073. Landfill Two,
you are twice the man Landfill One was.Copy !req
1074. Well, thank you, little lady.Copy !req
1075. Yeah!Copy !req
1076. Are we lost?Copy !req
1077. The thing about it is, you know,
we were shit-faced when he took us there.Copy !req
1078. - What?
- Really drunk.Copy !req
1079. We been training for an entire year,
lost our jobs and our family...Copy !req
1080. - ... and you don't know where this is?
- You haven't been training.Copy !req
1081. - Can it, college boy!
- "College boy"? I thought you—Copy !req
1082. - Hey, guys. Please, give it a rest.
- You know what? I got an idea.Copy !req
1083. It might work. I did this study in college:Copy !req
1084. Finkelstein's Theory on Effects of Alcohol
on the Temporal Lobes.Copy !req
1085. - English.
- Drunken recall.Copy !req
1086. I made people drink massive quantities, then
taught things while they were blacked out.Copy !req
1087. Now, in the morning,
they had no recollection of it.Copy !req
1088. But when I got them drunk again,
they remembered.Copy !req
1089. - Bullshit.
- Now you're coming after me?Copy !req
1090. Cowboy on one side,
Indian on the other. It's the Wild West.Copy !req
1091. - I got it published.
- Where?Copy !req
1092. Maxim magazine, under the title
"E Equals MC Hammered."Copy !req
1093. - All right, let's do this.
- Which one of you two was more wasted?Copy !req
1094. - He was.
- He was.Copy !req
1095. All right, okay, I was.
I actually hadn't eaten much that day.Copy !req
1096. Anything?Copy !req
1097. Sorry. But I have been training
for a beer-drinking competition.Copy !req
1098. Drink.Copy !req
1099. - Sober as a bird.
- All right. Enough fucking around.Copy !req
1100. Here. Try this.Copy !req
1101. The password!Copy !req
1102. - That was great.
- That was last year's password!Copy !req
1103. Oh, come on.Copy !req
1104. - That's cheap.
- Shit.Copy !req
1105. I got an idea.Copy !req
1106. The pa—!Copy !req
1107. Silence.Copy !req
1108. The old Trojan keg.Copy !req
1109. Very clever for Americans.Copy !req
1110. - Now get them out of here.
- Hang on, hang on, hang on.Copy !req
1111. We're here to honor our grandfather,
Johan von Wolfhausen.Copy !req
1112. The stableboy thief?Copy !req
1113. No. Your half-brother.Copy !req
1114. Your older half-brother and rightful heir
to the von Wolfhausen brewery.Copy !req
1115. Oh, please.Copy !req
1116. Johan wasn't even Ludwig's
true offspring.Copy !req
1117. No?Copy !req
1118. Look at the portrait.Copy !req
1119. Not a true offspring?Copy !req
1120. I'd say it looks pretty close to me, eh?Copy !req
1121. You know the von Wolfhausen brewery
is our brewery.Copy !req
1122. Even if your silly fairy tale was true,
we have a little saying in München.Copy !req
1123. Get the fuck out of here.Copy !req
1124. - Guards.
- Wait, wait!Copy !req
1125. We came here to drink some beer.Copy !req
1126. Are you gonna let us do that, or are you
afraid of getting your asses stomped?Copy !req
1127. Let them drink!Copy !req
1128. Yeah! Let them compete!Copy !req
1129. Let them drink!Copy !req
1130. Let them drink!Copy !req
1131. Let them drink!Copy !req
1132. Let them drink!Copy !req
1133. Grandpapa, we've crushed them once.Copy !req
1134. Let us do it again, huh?Copy !req
1135. Let us humiliate them.Copy !req
1136. Please, Opy, we can do this.Copy !req
1137. - We can do it.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1138. Okay.Copy !req
1139. Why not? For shits and giggle.Copy !req
1140. Let them drink!Copy !req
1141. Beer drinkers...Copy !req
1142. welcome to Beerfest.Copy !req
1143. - Yeah!
- Come on!Copy !req
1144. You are the privileged few.Copy !req
1145. We got the Brits in Round One.Copy !req
1146. We already kicked their asses in WWll.Copy !req
1147. Cheerio, let's do it again.Copy !req
1148. Drink well. Drink with honor.Copy !req
1149. Let the games begin.Copy !req
1150. Beerfest! Beerfest! Beerfest!Copy !req
1151. First round is best of five.Copy !req
1152. U.S.A. versus England.Copy !req
1153. You're all fur coat
and no trousers, you are.Copy !req
1154. - I'm sorry. One more time?
- Shove off!Copy !req
1155. We're gonna put the skitters
in your Alan Whickers, you plonker!Copy !req
1156. - Do you know what he's saying?
- Volume Chug!Copy !req
1157. Come on, big boy.
What, are you gonna fucking cry?Copy !req
1158. That's all you, Landfill. All you.Copy !req
1159. Come on!Copy !req
1160. Come on, motherfucker! It's time!Copy !req
1161. Come on, baby. It's all you, buddy.
Drink it down.Copy !req
1162. How about this? How about that?
How about:Copy !req
1163. Now, how do I say this? The Mexican.Copy !req
1164. Championship round,
Germany versus U.S.A.Copy !req
1165. All right. This is what we came for,
the Germans!Copy !req
1166. Yeah, the Germans!Copy !req
1167. Oh, that's good.Copy !req
1168. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1169. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1170. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1171. What's up, Finky?Copy !req
1172. I got it. Beating the boot.
It's so simple.Copy !req
1173. It's all about fluid dynamics
and quantum bubblenautics. Follow?Copy !req
1174. I missed that first part
when he said something.Copy !req
1175. Pay attention. I'm only doing this once,
okay? Excuse me!Copy !req
1176. Do me a favor, top me off.Copy !req
1177. Thank you. Okay.Copy !req
1178. Now, look. The bubble is essentially
a high-pressure vacuum...Copy !req
1179. that grows and grows
until it gets to the heel...Copy !req
1180. then it pops and explodes
out of the boot. Okay?Copy !req
1181. So, what you wanna do
is create a spiral effect...Copy !req
1182. by spinning the boot
and making a whirlpool.Copy !req
1183. When the bubble hits the corner,
gravity will take over...Copy !req
1184. and shoot beer down your throats.Copy !req
1185. So, what you're saying is,
when the bubble comes...Copy !req
1186. just turn the boot.Copy !req
1187. If we find ourselves in a
boot challenge, we can beat these guys.Copy !req
1188. Way to go, Finky.Copy !req
1189. All right.
Let's light this Kraut candle.Copy !req
1190. Yeah!Copy !req
1191. I'm still peeing! I'm still going!Copy !req
1192. We're gonna wipe our schwanz on you.Copy !req
1193. Bring it on, meine bitch.Copy !req
1194. Championship round is best of seven.Copy !req
1195. Und jetzt...Copy !req
1196. for the ultimate battle!Copy !req
1197. First up, long-distance krügerbounce.Copy !req
1198. Distance, 10 meters.Copy !req
1199. What do you say, Barr?Copy !req
1200. Watch and learn.Copy !req
1201. Shaking your butt.Copy !req
1202. Move the bucket 20 meters.Copy !req
1203. Twenty meters!Copy !req
1204. Twenty meters.
You're never gonna make it.Copy !req
1205. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
1206. Thirty meters.Copy !req
1207. Thirty meters.Copy !req
1208. Okay. Let's see it.Copy !req
1209. Yeah!Copy !req
1210. Germany, the winner!Copy !req
1211. It's okay. It's okay.Copy !req
1212. Yes!Copy !req
1213. U.S.A. sucks!Copy !req
1214. Germany, three.Copy !req
1215. U.S.A., zero.Copy !req
1216. If Germany wins, they are the champions!Copy !req
1217. Hold. Hold on. Wait a minute.
Hold the phones.Copy !req
1218. Herr Referee...Copy !req
1219. there is an American player
who has not competed in any event.Copy !req
1220. And the rule says every competitor
must compete, otherwise...Copy !req
1221. disqualification.Copy !req
1222. Hold on there, Hansel.Copy !req
1223. That is the rule.Copy !req
1224. Your fifth teammate must compete now.Copy !req
1225. Are you talking about me?Copy !req
1226. Jan, if we let him play, we're gonna
get slaughtered and it's over, kaput.Copy !req
1227. You heard the guy.Copy !req
1228. I'll play with him.Copy !req
1229. Barry, are you sure?Copy !req
1230. Sure as schnitzel.Copy !req
1231. Hey, Barr-zo, I'm proud of you.Copy !req
1232. Hey, thanks.Copy !req
1233. Hey, Comrades, how about loser
takes a paddle up the ass?Copy !req
1234. I like that.Copy !req
1235. Volley for serve.Copy !req
1236. You know you have to hit the ball.Copy !req
1237. What do you think about that, fuckhead?Copy !req
1238. Yeah, Barry, you got him. He's yours.Copy !req
1239. What do you think about that, headfuck?Copy !req
1240. Match point!Copy !req
1241. Come on, we gotta win this one.Copy !req
1242. You got nothing. Bring it.Copy !req
1243. Jiminy.Copy !req
1244. Come on, Barry.Copy !req
1245. Wow, what a shot!Copy !req
1246. Hey, Todd,
sorry about porking your wife, man.Copy !req
1247. Hey, Barry,
you can pork my wife anytime.Copy !req
1248. What's the name of the game?Copy !req
1249. Thumper!Copy !req
1250. And why do we play it?Copy !req
1251. To get fucked up!Copy !req
1252. No! No!Copy !req
1253. No, I didn't! No, I did this!
No, I didn't! No, I didn't!Copy !req
1254. Bullshit! I did the—Copy !req
1255. Look at the scoreboard! Scoreboard!Copy !req
1256. I'm burying you.Copy !req
1257. You're not even close, girlie.Copy !req
1258. Halt!Copy !req
1259. You're worried now.
You're worried now, aren't you?Copy !req
1260. Take that. Moment of truth.Copy !req
1261. Germany, 224.Copy !req
1262. That's good, that's good.Copy !req
1263. U.S.A...Copy !req
1264. 228.Copy !req
1265. All tied up. Sudden death.Copy !req
1266. You know what that means.Copy !req
1267. Das Boot!Copy !req
1268. Das Boot! Das Boot!Copy !req
1269. Das Boot! Das Boot! Das Boot!Copy !req
1270. Hey, guys, this is that moment.Copy !req
1271. The moment that only exists in sports.Copy !req
1272. The moment where the good guys
take on the bad guys.Copy !req
1273. The moment that,
if this was a speech in a movie...Copy !req
1274. this would be shown
up on the humongotron...Copy !req
1275. to get the home-team fans
fired up, huh? Right?Copy !req
1276. Us versus them!Copy !req
1277. We're the bad guys
and they're the good guys.Copy !req
1278. And I'll be damned
if we're gonna let the good guys win!Copy !req
1279. Yeah, we're actually the good guys
and they're the bad guys, so...Copy !req
1280. Right. Let me start that again,
guys, huh?Copy !req
1281. Hey, guys, this is that moment—Copy !req
1282. Fellas. Fellas.Copy !req
1283. I just wanna say
thanks for the greatest year of my life.Copy !req
1284. All right? And no matter what happens,
win or lose...Copy !req
1285. drinking beer with you guys
is just plain old-fashioned fun.Copy !req
1286. Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
1287. Hey, let's do this
for Grandpa Wolfhouse.Copy !req
1288. And for Landfill.Copy !req
1289. And Gam Gam?Copy !req
1290. And America. On three. One, two, three:Copy !req
1291. Grandpa Wolfhouse, Landfill
and Gam Gam and America!Copy !req
1292. Go, go, go!Copy !req
1293. Line Chug. Germany versus U.S.A.Copy !req
1294. Winner is champion...Copy !req
1295. of Beerfest!Copy !req
1296. Das Boot! Das Boot! Das Boot!Copy !req
1297. Yeah, you can suck your own dick.Copy !req
1298. We're gonna take you all the way—Copy !req
1299. - Cherry?
- Our finest secret agent.Copy !req
1300. We sent her to keep an eye on you.Copy !req
1301. Oh, hit that, Grandpapa.Copy !req
1302. Take what's yours, Grandpapa.Copy !req
1303. Damn, that's nasty.Copy !req
1304. Always bet on black. Yeah.Copy !req
1305. Yeah, always bet on black.
That's a great quote.Copy !req
1306. Game on. Not a drop can be spilled.Copy !req
1307. Shake it off.Copy !req
1308. Hey, fatass, when I dropped
your brother in that vat...Copy !req
1309. he squealed like a stuffed pig.Copy !req
1310. Germany!Copy !req
1311. Did you hear what she said?Copy !req
1312. Get out of here. Get out!Copy !req
1313. No, no. Hey, ump. Do something, ump.Copy !req
1314. Losers.Copy !req
1315. See you later, stableboy.Copy !req
1316. Say hello to the family whore.Copy !req
1317. U.S.A. sucks! U.S.A. sucks!
U.S.A. sucks!Copy !req
1318. Double or nothing.Copy !req
1319. On what, huh?Copy !req
1320. The von Wolfhausen family recipe.Copy !req
1321. You win, you get to keep it.Copy !req
1322. We win, we get your brewery.Copy !req
1323. Or should I say our brewery?Copy !req
1324. But we already have the recipe.Copy !req
1325. I got it off of the nerd's computer.Copy !req
1326. - You're fucked.
- Yeah, he's fucked.Copy !req
1327. - That's rich, Baron.
- What's so funny?Copy !req
1328. I didn't put that recipe on my computer.Copy !req
1329. However, you are holding the recipe
for a low-carb strawberry beer.Copy !req
1330. We call it She-Wolf. It's okay.Copy !req
1331. Strawberry?Copy !req
1332. No. No. You know how
you like strawberries?Copy !req
1333. You want me to lose weight,
so that was the low-carb—Copy !req
1334. Wait a minute, we like strawberry—
Get your damn hands off—Copy !req
1335. You're trying to see my panties.
Goddamn it, put me down, please!Copy !req
1336. Where are the Africans?
Can the Africans come help me? Jesus!Copy !req
1337. So are we gonna play for the recipe...Copy !req
1338. or should I just roll it up
and eat it? I'm hungry.Copy !req
1339. Wait, wait. Wait. Wait!Copy !req
1340. Put your money where your mouth is.Copy !req
1341. Us against you. Ten boots.
Five against five.Copy !req
1342. You couldn't even do one boot.
You can barely stand!Copy !req
1343. Grandpapa?Copy !req
1344. Take the bet, you fucking pussy.Copy !req
1345. Okay. Crush the bastards.Copy !req
1346. And then I want spectator number one
killed.Copy !req
1347. Yeah, this is going to be like taking
black walnut candy from the baby.Copy !req
1348. That's very funny, Deutschbag.
Only thing is:Copy !req
1349. One, we're not babies, and two—Copy !req
1350. We're not that drunk.Copy !req
1351. They're not that drunk. Cheeky bastards.Copy !req
1352. They're not that drunk!
They're not that drunk!Copy !req
1353. They're not that drunk!
They're not that drunk!Copy !req
1354. They're not that drunk!Copy !req
1355. Five boots? Are you fucking mental?Copy !req
1356. Trust me, we can do this.Copy !req
1357. Just spin the boot
when the bubble comes.Copy !req
1358. Trust me, this will work.Copy !req
1359. Gentlemen. Ready?Copy !req
1360. Good luck. You're going to need it.Copy !req
1361. Das Boot!Copy !req
1362. Das Boot! Das Boot! Das Boot!Copy !req
1363. Deutschland, you're floored!Copy !req
1364. Look, the little one looks like he has
pubic hair all over his head.Copy !req
1365. It's okay, it works.
Yeah, because you have a dickface.Copy !req
1366. You son of a bitch!Copy !req
1367. Yeah.Copy !req
1368. I accidentally pushed his thingy off.Copy !req
1369. That's a great one. Dickface.Copy !req
1370. Fink's got the eye of the Jew.Copy !req
1371. He's got the eye of the Jew.
Fink's our anchorman.Copy !req
1372. Come on. Trust me. Trust me.Copy !req
1373. You just blew it, Friedrich.Copy !req
1374. Spin it.Copy !req
1375. Come on.Copy !req
1376. Spin it.Copy !req
1377. Spin it.Copy !req
1378. Drink, Fink. Drink, Fink. Drink, Fink.Copy !req
1379. Drink, Fink, drink! Drink, Fink, drink!
Drink, Fink, drink!Copy !req
1380. U.S.A.Copy !req
1381. U.S.A. U.S.A. U.S.A.Copy !req
1382. A little R and R in Amsterdam.
Just what the doctor ordered.Copy !req
1383. You know, I came to a conference
here once. Hookerthon 2002.Copy !req
1384. Fantastic seminars.Copy !req
1385. Sounds fun.Copy !req
1386. Nothing but the best for the executives
of von Wolfhausen brewery, right?Copy !req
1387. That's right.Copy !req
1388. Hey, guys, where are we?Copy !req
1389. I think the hotel is this way?Copy !req
1390. You gotta be kidding me.Copy !req
1391. Hold on. Let me check.Copy !req
1392. No, I think it's that way.Copy !req
1393. Hey.Copy !req
1394. - Holy crap, Willie Nelson.
- What are you doing here?Copy !req
1395. It's a funny story.
I was invited over here...Copy !req
1396. for this big, secret, international,
pot-smoking competition.Copy !req
1397. My teammates, Cheech and Chong,
chickened out on me.Copy !req
1398. They wouldn't fly
in my biodiesel airplane...Copy !req
1399. and the smoke-out's in 30 minutes
and I don't wanna get disqualified.Copy !req
1400. Now, you guys don't wanna
be my teammates, do you?Copy !req
1401. Yeah!Copy !req
1402. Let's do it. Did you hear one
about the guy that told his son:Copy !req
1403. "If you don't quit masturbating,
you'll go blind."Copy !req
1404. He said, "Dad, I'm over here."Copy !req
1405. Oh, you guys fancy yourselves
drinkers, huh?Copy !req
1406. Yeah, maybe a little bit.
I think we just won the—Copy !req
1407. Yeah, I think we just—
Yeah, I think we just—Copy !req
1408. What the hell is going on? Yeah.Copy !req
1409. - Bastards.
- I was playing Ping-Pong in Ding Dang.Copy !req
1410. I was— I saw that.Copy !req
1411. Turned out, the guys I was playing—
The guys— Okay.Copy !req
1412. I was playing Ping-Pong in Ding Dang.Copy !req
1413. I mean, come on. Cut it.Copy !req
1414. This sweet nectar was my lifeblood.Copy !req
1415. Oh, yeah, Landfill.
Go for it, my friend.Copy !req
1416. He's got it going on, this guy.Copy !req
1417. Are we playing or not?Copy !req
1418. Time to scheiße off the—Copy !req
1419. Are we playing or not?Copy !req
1420. Time to scheiße on our—Copy !req
1421. Are we playing or not?Copy !req
1422. Time to scheiße or get off the crap.Copy !req
1423. Crapper.Copy !req
1424. Okay, come back in, do it again.Copy !req
1425. All right.Copy !req
1426. Everybody's drunk.Copy !req
1427. And cut it. Cut.Copy !req
1428. One question. Who are we gonna get—?Copy !req
1429. Do I know you?Copy !req
1430. Me? No. No, I don't think so.Copy !req
1431. Well, you look familiar.
Didn't I pay you a dollar for something?Copy !req
1432. No, no. Wasn't me, no.Copy !req
1433. I remember now. I paid you a dollar
to touch your toes...Copy !req
1434. and then touch your dick.Copy !req
1435. Yeah, that could have been me.Copy !req
1436. Good to see you again.Copy !req
1437. I wish it were winter. We could make it
into ice blocks and skate on it...Copy !req
1438. and then melt it in the springtime
and drink it.Copy !req
1439. All right, cut it.Copy !req
1440. Cut.Copy !req