1. (man) What's the matter?Copy !req
2. Oh, it's just terrible!Copy !req
3. I wonder why he'd want to do
a thing like that.Copy !req
4. Gosh, I hope
he doesn't jump off.Copy !req
5. Please, please,
don't do this terrible thing.Copy !req
6. You're young.Copy !req
7. You have everything to live for.Copy !req
8. You'll be only hurting
those who love you.Copy !req
9. And think of
the loss to science.Copy !req
10. Hans, how did he get out there?Copy !req
11. Isn't it terrible, Peter?Copy !req
12. First I find him with a
surgical knife, and now this.Copy !req
13. I've tried everything.Copy !req
14. Bribery?
Bribery, threats, tears.Copy !req
15. Then why did you send for me?Copy !req
16. You're a psychologist.
Use psychology.Copy !req
17. On him?Copy !req
18. It might work.Copy !req
19. Please.Copy !req
20. All right, I'll give it a try.Copy !req
21. Be very gentle with him.Copy !req
22. For days now,
he has been sulking.Copy !req
23. Good morning.Copy !req
24. Bad as all that?Copy !req
25. Long way down. Isn't it, Bonzo?Copy !req
26. No. No. No.Copy !req
27. Go ahead, Bonzo.
I want you to jump.Copy !req
28. Jump, Bonzo. Jump!Copy !req
29. Peter, what are you doing?Copy !req
30. I'm trying inverted
psychological domination.Copy !req
31. He should refuse to jump.Copy !req
32. Go ahead, Bonzo.
I want you to jump.Copy !req
33. Jump, Bonzo. Jump!Copy !req
34. Peter, try something else.Copy !req
35. $2,000 he cost the college.Copy !req
36. Maybe he'll respond
to the Gestalt theory.Copy !req
37. Bonzo.Copy !req
38. Listen.Copy !req
39. Pretty Bonzo?Copy !req
40. Nice.Copy !req
41. Here, Bonzo.Copy !req
42. Yeah. Things look
better now, Bonzo?Copy !req
43. Happy, Bonzo?Copy !req
44. It's working. It's working.Copy !req
45. Come on. I won't let you fall.Copy !req
46. Let's go home. Come on. Come on.Copy !req
47. Oh, watch it, Bonzo.
Steady! Hey, Bonzo!Copy !req
48. Take it easy.Copy !req
49. Shh!Copy !req
50. Come on, Bonzo.
I'll get you home.Copy !req
51. Now hang on, Bonzo.Copy !req
52. Don't look down.Copy !req
53. Watch it, Bonzo. Steady.Copy !req
54. Bonzo!Copy !req
55. Peter, don't drop Bonzo.Copy !req
56. Come on up, Bonzo.Copy !req
57. Hang on. Don't be scared, Bonzo.Copy !req
58. Take it easy.Copy !req
59. That's it. Steady, Bonzo.Copy !req
60. Bonzo!Copy !req
61. Bonzo, don't drop Peter.Copy !req
62. Take it easy, Bonzo.Copy !req
63. Careful.Copy !req
64. Uh, you'll make it.
You'll make it.Copy !req
65. Come here, you old thing.
Come on.Copy !req
66. Next time, call a zoo.Copy !req
67. I don't know whether
to thank you for saving Bonzo,Copy !req
68. or to thank
Bonzo for saving you.Copy !req
69. Or Gestalt for
saving both of us.Copy !req
70. Incredible!Copy !req
71. That was taken in Joliet.Copy !req
72. Incredible!Copy !req
73. The minute I saw
his picture on this book,Copy !req
74. I knew he was the guy.Copy !req
75. The professor, eh?Copy !req
76. Uh, that was just
one of his aliases.Copy !req
77. He also operated as Silky.Copy !req
78. Yes, sir. The professor was the
sharpest con man who ever hit the rock.Copy !req
79. Two weeks in stir,Copy !req
80. and he had the tobacco
and the candy bar concessionCopy !req
81. right in his pocket.Copy !req
82. No fuss, no muss, just angles.Copy !req
83. Nothin' but angles.Copy !req
84. Why he taught me more than...Copy !req
85. Prof. Boyd is here, sir.Copy !req
86. Send him in.Copy !req
87. Good morning, sir.Copy !req
88. Incredible.Copy !req
89. Good morning, Prof. Boyd.Copy !req
90. Uh, you wanted to see me?Copy !req
91. Yes. I wanted you
to meet Mr., uh...Copy !req
92. Breckenridge.Copy !req
93. Sure pleased to meet you.Copy !req
94. How do you do, sir?Copy !req
95. A dead ringer.Copy !req
96. Is this gentleman's
name familiar to you?Copy !req
97. Breckenridge?Copy !req
98. I'm afraid not.Copy !req
99. I was a pal of your old man's.Copy !req
100. I guess he never
told you about me.Copy !req
101. No, he didn't.Copy !req
102. Mr. Breckenridge says, uh,Copy !req
103. your father
was his, uh, cellmate.Copy !req
104. Is that so?Copy !req
105. The old professor
died in my arms.Copy !req
106. It'll be 20 years next November.Copy !req
107. When he was buried, there wasn't
a dry eye in our cellblock.Copy !req
108. He had this sewed
in his undershirt.Copy !req
109. It's your old lady.Copy !req
110. He told me he never saw much
of her after you were born.Copy !req
111. No. He wanted it that way.Copy !req
112. So you're the professor's boy.Copy !req
113. That's right.Copy !req
114. Took his monicker, too.Copy !req
115. Oh, he would've liked that.Copy !req
116. Prof. Boyd holds a degree
in Psychology.Copy !req
117. The old professor did it the
hard way, without a degree.Copy !req
118. Mr. Breckenridge.Copy !req
119. Thanks for bringing this to me.Copy !req
120. Oh, I'd have brought it sooner
if I could've found you.Copy !req
121. Your old man kind of
kept you under wraps.Copy !req
122. I guess he knew
what he was doin'.Copy !req
123. Big man, the professor.Copy !req
124. I wonder what
graceful explanationCopy !req
125. we can offer for
breaking the engagement.Copy !req
126. Breaking the engagement?Copy !req
127. Apparently, you don't
attach any significanceCopy !req
128. to Mr., uh,
Breckenridge's visit.Copy !req
129. But I do.Copy !req
130. Now I know that my father loved
my mother till the day he died.Copy !req
131. No doubt.Copy !req
132. However, I'm referring to the
fact that your father was...Copy !req
133. An habitual criminal?Copy !req
134. Well...Copy !req
135. What of it?
He paid his debt to society,Copy !req
136. as the moralists would put it.Copy !req
137. How would you put it, Peter?Copy !req
138. My father was born and raised
in a slum environment.Copy !req
139. Oh, environment.Copy !req
140. I would put it this way,
Dean Tillinghast.Copy !req
141. Given a decent start in life,
my father would have goneCopy !req
142. just as far in the right direction
as he went in the wrong one.Copy !req
143. Peter, you studied under Dr. Huxman,
the geneticist, didn't you?Copy !req
144. Yes, sir.Copy !req
145. Did you consider him
a good teacher?Copy !req
146. An excellent teacher.Copy !req
147. Did you agree with his theoryCopy !req
148. that criminal traits
were hereditary?Copy !req
149. I did not.Copy !req
150. And did you ever
cite to Dr. HuxmanCopy !req
151. your own case as an example?Copy !req
152. I certainly did.Copy !req
153. You did?Copy !req
154. Yes.Copy !req
155. And did it alter his theory?Copy !req
156. No, as a matter of fact,Copy !req
157. he and the entire class
disagreed with me.Copy !req
158. Oh, there you are.Copy !req
159. But Dr. Huxman also recognized
my right to disagree with him.Copy !req
160. So do I, Peter, but...Copy !req
161. But I'm no longer good enough
to marry your daughter.Copy !req
162. You forget that I was a
professor of genetics myself.Copy !req
163. As a matter of fact,
Valerie is an exampleCopy !req
164. of the genetic
approach to marriage.Copy !req
165. Intellectual.
I'll take the credit for that,Copy !req
166. and beautiful
like her mother was.Copy !req
167. I think I know
Valerie's good points.Copy !req
168. I asked her to become my wife.Copy !req
169. I appreciate that. But what
assurance have I that your children,Copy !req
170. my grandchildren, won't
inherit criminal tendencies?Copy !req
171. What do you want us to do?Copy !req
172. Give you a written guaranteeCopy !req
173. that our kids won't grow up
to be con men and thieves?Copy !req
174. We are men of science, Peter.Copy !req
175. And if we don't practice
those theories we believe in...Copy !req
176. But what about
what Valerie believes in?Copy !req
177. She's my daughter.Copy !req
178. I'm willing to
overlook that point.Copy !req
179. That's enough, young man.Copy !req
180. Under the circumstances,
professor boy,Copy !req
181. there's just
one thing you can do.Copy !req
182. Under the circumstances,Copy !req
183. let me tell you, there's
one thing you can do.Copy !req
184. This you said to the Dean.Copy !req
185. This I said to the Dean.Copy !req
186. Shh.Copy !req
187. What language.Copy !req
188. And from a
psychology professor.Copy !req
189. The Dean has asked me to quietly
resign at the end of the term.Copy !req
190. But that's
a complete nonsensicality.Copy !req
191. Just because your poppa...Copy !req
192. Peter!Copy !req
193. Oh, uh-uh, come in, Miss,
uh-uh... Dr. Tillinghast.Copy !req
194. Dr. Neumann, ICopy !req
195. I was just going down the hall
to see Dr. KohnerCopy !req
196. who maybe wants to see me.Copy !req
197. Father told me what you said.Copy !req
198. Did you wash his mouth
out with soap?Copy !req
199. Oh, Peter, did you have
to blow up at him?Copy !req
200. Valerie,
I'm not made of sawdust.Copy !req
201. Well, uh, I suppose
you had a right to get angryCopy !req
202. but, after all, it would be better
if we had father's approval.Copy !req
203. I think it would be
better if we eloped.Copy !req
204. Oh, Peter, that would be
the wrong way to start out.Copy !req
205. It would only widen the breach.Copy !req
206. Why don't we let things
stand as they are for a while?Copy !req
207. I think I can
bring Father around.Copy !req
208. Bring him around?Copy !req
209. Peter, we've got to
approach thisCopy !req
210. like two intelligent
human beings.Copy !req
211. We just can't
settle things like that.Copy !req
212. Well, I can. As far as I'm
concerned, he can go toCopy !req
213. Peter, don't!Copy !req
214. Don't say anything
we'll both regret.Copy !req
215. I'm sorry, Valerie.Copy !req
216. All right.
You talk to your father.Copy !req
217. But you'll see he'll call off
our engagement just the same.Copy !req
218. Then we'll get engaged all over
again when this thing dies down.Copy !req
219. Just don't just
quarrel with Father.Copy !req
220. Bonzo, I'm coming around
to your outlook on life.Copy !req
221. There.Copy !req
222. You see, Peter,Copy !req
223. in a couple of days
you'll call herCopy !req
224. and everything will be fine.Copy !req
225. What makes you think so?Copy !req
226. Uh, accidentally, I was
listening on the hole of the key.Copy !req
227. No, Hans.Copy !req
228. I'm afraid it's not
gonna be that easy.Copy !req
229. So quickly you give up?Copy !req
230. Not on your life.Copy !req
231. I'm gonna make that old man change
his attitude if it takes till I'm 90.Copy !req
232. Good, Peter. Good. Good.Copy !req
233. Of course, Valerie probably won't
be interested in me when I'm 90.Copy !req
234. Yeah.Copy !req
235. Hmm.Copy !req
236. You have your troubles,
I have mine.Copy !req
237. What now?Copy !req
238. Now he's on a hunger strike.Copy !req
239. Won't eat?Copy !req
240. Not a crumb of it.Copy !req
241. Have you tried bananas?Copy !req
242. Bananas, persimmons, coconuts.Copy !req
243. My Anna even baked
a Kugelhupf for him.Copy !req
244. Mit sugar. Nothing.Copy !req
245. What about a baby bottle?Copy !req
246. That, too, but nothing.Copy !req
247. I'm afraid to force-feed him.Copy !req
248. It might be dangerous.Copy !req
249. What do you suppose
is wrong with him?Copy !req
250. I don't know. He is very young.Copy !req
251. Only a month ago
he came from Africa.Copy !req
252. Maybe he is
lonesome for his momma.Copy !req
253. Hans, bring me the bottle.
I want to try something.Copy !req
254. Well, Bonzo, I never did thank you for
savin' my life this morning, did 1?Copy !req
255. That's amazing.Copy !req
256. Maybe he thinks
you're his poppa.Copy !req
257. His poppa.Copy !req
258. Hans, you've hit it.Copy !req
259. What, uh, uh, what did I hit?Copy !req
260. Is there any way you could
let me keep him for a while?Copy !req
261. Keep Bonzo? Where? What for?Copy !req
262. At home.Copy !req
263. I want to see if he'll accept
a human environment.Copy !req
264. You'll teach him to sleep in
a bed, to eat with a spoon,Copy !req
265. and make patty-cakes?Copy !req
266. What will that prove?Copy !req
267. What if I could
teach this monkeyCopy !req
268. the difference
between right and wrong?Copy !req
269. And how will you know he knows?Copy !req
270. He'll tell you maybe?Copy !req
271. No, Hans.Copy !req
272. By getting him to do right
without hope of reward,Copy !req
273. to avoid wrong
without fear of punishment.Copy !req
274. Something my father
never had a chance to learn.Copy !req
275. Don't you see, Hans?Copy !req
276. If it works,
Dean will have to admitCopy !req
277. that environment
is all-important.Copy !req
278. That heredity
counts for very little.Copy !req
279. Uh, yes, but what if
the Dean finds outCopy !req
280. that you are
carrying on this experiment,Copy !req
281. right in front of his back?Copy !req
282. But he won't.Copy !req
283. This'll be top secret until
Bonzo's ready to make his debut.Copy !req
284. All right,
so he'll have a father.Copy !req
285. But more things are needed
for a good home.Copy !req
286. Well, I'll get 'em for him.Copy !req
287. You'll provide maybe a mother?Copy !req
288. Yes, I'll provide a mother.Copy !req
289. How?Copy !req
290. Well, I don't know.Copy !req
291. But I'll do it.Copy !req
292. Hans, this just can't go on.Copy !req
293. I'm almost out of my mind.Copy !req
294. So far, six women
have refused the job.Copy !req
295. One threatened
to call the police.Copy !req
296. Uh, no, it's no use.
I'll have to give it up.Copy !req
297. I've got to get
back to my classes.Copy !req
298. Someone's at the door.
I'll call you back.Copy !req
299. Cross your fingers, Bonzo.Copy !req
300. This may be your last chance.Copy !req
301. No, stay there!Copy !req
302. Now, be good!Copy !req
303. Yes?Copy !req
304. May I see Prof. Peter Boyd?Copy !req
305. I'm Prof. Boyd.Copy !req
306. You are?Copy !req
307. I thought all professors were
old men with Vandyke beards.Copy !req
308. Well, I, uhCopy !req
309. I'm Jane Linden, from the Home
Service Domestic Agency in Hartford.Copy !req
310. Oh, come in.Copy !req
311. I'm sorry I got here so late,
but I took the wrong bus.Copy !req
312. I don't know why, but I always
seem to be taking wrong buses.Copy !req
313. I do hope you haven't found
someone else for the job already.Copy !req
314. No, it's still open.Copy !req
315. Wide open, as a matter of fact.Copy !req
316. Good.Copy !req
317. Uh, won't you sit down,
Miss Linden?Copy !req
318. You can call me
Jane if you like.Copy !req
319. Well, thank you, Jane.Copy !req
320. Have you been
plucking a chicken?Copy !req
321. Oh, I've been doing a little
bit of everything lately.Copy !req
322. Oh, then, Mrs. Boyd is...Copy !req
323. There is no Mrs. Boyd.Copy !req
324. Oh, that's too bad.Copy !req
325. That's why I sent for someone...Copy !req
326. Well, I hope you decide
I'm right for the job.Copy !req
327. Well, Jane, I'm just as anxious
as you are for this to work out,Copy !req
328. but, of course, I didn't
expect anyone quite so young.Copy !req
329. I'm not so young. I'm almost 23.Copy !req
330. I was really looking for a womanCopy !req
331. who'd had
experience as a mother.Copy !req
332. I've raised five children.Copy !req
333. You what?Copy !req
334. Sure. My five brothers.Copy !req
335. Mother died when I was 14,
so I had to bring up the kids.Copy !req
336. There isn't anything I didn't
learn about children from that.Copy !req
337. Well, I'm sure that's true.Copy !req
338. But, well, you see Bonzo isn't
the same as other children.Copy !req
339. Hmm, all parents feel that way.Copy !req
340. You're a professor.
You should know that.Copy !req
341. Yeah. Well, you don't
quite understand.Copy !req
342. Of course I do.Copy !req
343. How old is your baby?Copy !req
344. I don't know.
Two or three, I guess.Copy !req
345. I'm not sure.Copy !req
346. You're not sure?Copy !req
347. Oh, uh... No. You see, I...Copy !req
348. Oh, he's adopted.Copy !req
349. Well, sometimes you
learn to love the adopted onesCopy !req
350. even more than your own.Copy !req
351. I suppose so.Copy !req
352. May I see him?Copy !req
353. This way.Copy !req
354. Look, I might as well
tell you now.Copy !req
355. He's a monkey.Copy !req
356. They all are.Copy !req
357. A real monkey.Copy !req
358. You should've
seen my brother, Gus.Copy !req
359. Now that was
the ugliest little monkey...Copy !req
360. You'd better let me finish.Copy !req
361. Look, Prof. Boyd, you don't
have to apologize for him.Copy !req
362. I understand. Honestly, I do.Copy !req
363. What's that?Copy !req
364. Oh, Bonzo.Copy !req
365. He probably turned
his crib over again.Copy !req
366. The baby?
He might've hurt himself.Copy !req
367. Not him.Copy !req
368. Oh, well, you've got a lot to
learn about babies, haven't you?Copy !req
369. When... when they fall down they
need someone's arms around themCopy !req
370. to protect them
and make them feel secure.Copy !req
371. I'd better go right up there.Copy !req
372. Look, I'm trying to tell you.Copy !req
373. I don't care what you tell me.Copy !req
374. I'm going up there anyway.Copy !req
375. It's a monkey!Copy !req
376. Well, sure, it's a monkey.Copy !req
377. Why didn't you tell me?Copy !req
378. I did. No, you didn't.Copy !req
379. Oh, y-yes, you did, didn't you?Copy !req
380. Then you should've
told the agency.Copy !req
381. If I'd have done that, they'd
have sent me an animal trainer.Copy !req
382. That isn't what I want.Copy !req
383. Well, I hope you get what
you want, but it isn't me.Copy !req
384. What's that?Copy !req
385. Oh, poor little fella,
he's crying.Copy !req
386. Why, he sounds just like a baby.Copy !req
387. Well, he isn't much different
when you get to know him.Copy !req
388. Do you think I frightened him?Copy !req
389. Well, I'd say
you broke about even.Copy !req
390. Do you think it would helpCopy !req
391. if I went back in there
and made friends with him?Copy !req
392. It might. Why don't you try it?Copy !req
393. Oh, he's turned it
completely over.Copy !req
394. I guess that's why he's crying.Copy !req
395. He probably thinks
he's back in a cage again.Copy !req
396. Come on.Copy !req
397. All right, Bonzo.
Let's go back beddy-bye.Copy !req
398. There you are.Copy !req
399. Poor little fella.Copy !req
400. He is kind of cute,
for a real monkey.Copy !req
401. Hey, he seems to like you.Copy !req
402. I always get along
well with babies.Copy !req
403. Uh, oh, no, Bonzo. He's
fascinated by shiny objects.Copy !req
404. You'd better take those off.Copy !req
405. Oh, look at those sleepers.Copy !req
406. Did you put those on?Copy !req
407. Well, I tried to, but he
isn't like a baby. He wiggles.Copy !req
408. Oh, so babies don't wiggle.Copy !req
409. All you have to do is get started
right and then there's no problem.Copy !req
410. It's as easy as
putting on a pair of gloves.Copy !req
411. I wish I had a nickel
for every timeCopy !req
412. I've put a pair of sleepers
on one of my five brothers.Copy !req
413. It's just a matter
of knowing how.Copy !req
414. There.Copy !req
415. Of course, it's all
a matter of knowing how.Copy !req
416. Oh, well,
if he hadn't wiggled...Copy !req
417. Like a baby?Copy !req
418. Yeah.Copy !req
419. You enjoy playing mother,
don't you?Copy !req
420. Some day
I'm gonna be a real one.Copy !req
421. And I want a large family.
10, at least.Copy !req
422. 10?Copy !req
423. There's an old saying
where I come from:Copy !req
424. "On the tree that bears much
fruit, the sun shines brightest."Copy !req
425. And where do you come from?Copy !req
426. My people are farmers up north.Copy !req
427. Poppa wasn't too happy
about my going off to work,Copy !req
428. but we needed money
to expand the farm,Copy !req
429. so, that's why I'm doing this.Copy !req
430. But, frankly, Prof. Boyd,
I don't see why you are.Copy !req
431. It's fairly simple.Copy !req
432. A lot of people think they're
born better than others.Copy !req
433. I'm trying to prove it's the
way you're raised that counts.Copy !req
434. That even a monkey brought up
in the right surroundingsCopy !req
435. can learn the meaning
of decency and honesty.Copy !req
436. That's a fine thing to do.Copy !req
437. Oh, I'll be right back.Copy !req
438. You won't be afraid?Copy !req
439. No.Copy !req
440. Uh, Valerie.Copy !req
441. Well, Peter,
at least you're alive.Copy !req
442. Oh, yeah, sure.Copy !req
443. Well, aren't you
going to ask me in?Copy !req
444. Uh, well, I... I, uh,
was just going to bed.Copy !req
445. Peter, I've been
worried about you.Copy !req
446. You've never stayed away
from your classes before.Copy !req
447. Dr. Neumann wouldn't
tell me what was wrong.Copy !req
448. Oh, you'll never know what I've
gone through these past two days.Copy !req
449. Me, too. Father's still too
upset to be reasoned with.Copy !req
450. But that doesn't
mean that you and ICopy !req
451. can't plan some
course of action.Copy !req
452. Course of action.
That's what we must do.Copy !req
453. Well, then, in that caseCopy !req
454. Peter, what's this for?Copy !req
455. Oh, it's... it's for clothes.Copy !req
456. Uh, my clothes.
I was just leaving.Copy !req
457. But you just said
you were going to bed.Copy !req
458. I am. Soon as I get there.Copy !req
459. Get where?
I'm not going to tell you.Copy !req
460. 'Cause if you don't know,Copy !req
461. then no one can
worm it out of you.Copy !req
462. But why should anybody
want to do that?Copy !req
463. Valerie, do you trust me?Copy !req
464. Well, of course, Peter.Copy !req
465. Then believe me, it's very
important to me and to youCopy !req
466. that I get away from here.Copy !req
467. That kid next door.Copy !req
468. Every night they have to
sing him to sleep.Copy !req
469. Peter, there's something very
odd going on in this house.Copy !req
470. You're right.Copy !req
471. But when I told that to Hans,
he said that I was developingCopy !req
472. a... a... a persecution complex.Copy !req
473. Why, I wouldn't stay
in this house another minute.Copy !req
474. Peter... Look, darling,Copy !req
475. don't you worry
too much about me.Copy !req
476. As soon as get in that car all
of my troubles will be behind me.Copy !req
477. I've got to relax.Copy !req
478. When people relax, their mental
processes are much more r-relaxed.Copy !req
479. Goodbye, darling.Copy !req
480. Shh. He's almost asleep.Copy !req
481. You know something?Copy !req
482. My brother, Gus,
wasn't half as cute as Bonzo.Copy !req
483. Peter, what are you doing here?Copy !req
484. Oh, good morning, Prof. Fosdick.Copy !req
485. Well, I thought only the married
men did the breakfast shopping.Copy !req
486. Uh, have you been
keeping something from us?Copy !req
487. A-a-as a matter of fact, I have.Copy !req
488. Really? Uh, y-yes.Copy !req
489. For the past week I've been
conducting an experiment.Copy !req
490. So it wasn't a vacation?Copy !req
491. Oh, no.
A very important experiment.Copy !req
492. Uh, with, uh, baby food?Copy !req
493. Uh...Copy !req
494. Uh, this won't go any farther?Copy !req
495. Of course not.Copy !req
496. Well, then.Copy !req
497. Who has more energy than babies?Copy !req
498. And what do they eat?Copy !req
499. Of course.Copy !req
500. The fountain of youth.Copy !req
501. Are you conducting
this experiment on yourself?Copy !req
502. Look.Copy !req
503. Remarkable.Copy !req
504. Good morning, Jane.Copy !req
505. Good morning, Prof. Boyd.Copy !req
506. Um, good heavens, what's that?Copy !req
507. Swedish pancake.Copy !req
508. Yesterday we had Dutch pancake.Copy !req
509. Every morning something
different for breakfast.Copy !req
510. Even my psyche
is gaining weight.Copy !req
511. Uh-uh, now I know where
Bonzo gets his bad habits.Copy !req
512. You'd better get started
on your orange juice.Copy !req
513. Vacation's over and
you've got a lecture at 9:00.Copy !req
514. Yes, ma'am.Copy !req
515. Oh, Jane, I reloaded the camera.Copy !req
516. Remember,
keep on taking picturesCopy !req
517. of anything unusual
Bonzo does, huh?Copy !req
518. Uh-huh.Copy !req
519. What's the matter with him?Copy !req
520. Maybe he thinks you're getting
more attention than he is.Copy !req
521. An Oedipus complex already?Copy !req
522. I've only been
his father for a week.Copy !req
523. I think he's just plain hungry.Copy !req
524. Here, Bonzo, eat your
pablum like a good boy,Copy !req
525. hmm. And pretty soon
you'll grow up to beCopy !req
526. a big, strong, handsome man
just like your daddy.Copy !req
527. Then you'll have
Swedish pancakes, too.Copy !req
528. That's outright bribery.Copy !req
529. Bonzo!Copy !req
530. Prof. Boyd.Copy !req
531. Bonzo, that wasn't
a nice thing to do.Copy !req
532. Bonzo!Copy !req
533. Don't scold him.
He didn't mean it.Copy !req
534. Well, that's beside the point.Copy !req
535. Aggressiveness like that
could become an aberration.Copy !req
536. Aggressiveness, aberration,
Oedipus complex.Copy !req
537. What kind of way
is that to talk to a baby?Copy !req
538. What do you mean?Copy !req
539. Why don't you act
more like his father,Copy !req
540. instead of like a schoolteacher?Copy !req
541. I guess I have
got a lot to learnCopy !req
542. about being a father, haven't I?Copy !req
543. You sure have, Prof. Boyd.Copy !req
544. You know that "Prof. Boyd"
business might be part of it, too.Copy !req
545. Why don't you try calling me something
more familiar, like, well, like "Father"?Copy !req
546. Father?Copy !req
547. Mmm, well, he might not
understand it at first,Copy !req
548. but it would give more
of a family atmosphere.Copy !req
549. Not to me, it wouldn't.Copy !req
550. The only time Momma
ever called Poppa "Father"Copy !req
551. was when she was mad at him.Copy !req
552. Oh, "Daddy" would sound a
little silly, wouldn't it?Copy !req
553. Uh-huh.Copy !req
554. Poppa?Copy !req
555. Yes. Poppa.Copy !req
556. Well, then I'd have to
call you...Copy !req
557. Momma.Copy !req
558. Momma goes with Poppa.Copy !req
559. Well, let's see how he reacts.Copy !req
560. Uh, Poppa. Poppa.Copy !req
561. Momma. Momma.Copy !req
562. Poppa. Poppa.Copy !req
563. Momma.Copy !req
564. Poppa. Momma.Copy !req
565. Well, maybe we ought to show
more affection like real parents.Copy !req
566. That might help.Copy !req
567. How did your parents
act around the house?Copy !req
568. Well, um...Copy !req
569. Take at breakfast like this.Copy !req
570. Momma always
served us kids first,Copy !req
571. and then we'd hear
Poppa upstairsCopy !req
572. singing loud enough
to shake the house.Copy !req
573. And then pretty soon,Copy !req
574. Poppa would come tiptoeing
into the kitchen,Copy !req
575. and Momma always pretended like
she didn't know he was there.Copy !req
576. Well, he'd wink at us kidsCopy !req
577. and sneak up behind
Momma and grab herCopy !req
578. around the waist
and kiss her on the ear.Copy !req
579. That's just what Momma used
to do, but she loved it.Copy !req
580. And then us kids
would laugh and laughCopy !req
581. and Poppa would
grin at us and say:Copy !req
582. "By golly, I'm the richest
man in six counties."Copy !req
583. Yeah, well, uh...Copy !req
584. Well, didn't your father have some,
well, some less informal way of acting,Copy !req
585. oh, like when he'd say good
morning and go off to work?Copy !req
586. Oh, sure.Copy !req
587. Poppa'd grab Momma
right up off her feetCopy !req
588. and kiss her right
smack on the mouthCopy !req
589. and say,
"Hilda, my little chicken,Copy !req
590. that's to keep you
till I get back."Copy !req
591. Well,Copy !req
592. well, let's try
that goodbye part.Copy !req
593. Janie, my little chicken,Copy !req
594. that's to keep you
till I get back.Copy !req
595. He doesn't
seem very impressed.Copy !req
596. Frankly, Poppa,
neither is Momma.Copy !req
597. Yeah.Copy !req
598. "The causal relations between
a self-conserving systemCopy !req
599. "and its environment
are essentially reciprocalCopy !req
600. and cyclical in nature."Copy !req
601. Oh, uh, very good. Very good.Copy !req
602. Now I understandCopy !req
603. there are several other papers
that might be interesting.Copy !req
604. Well, go on.Copy !req
605. Well, when I decided to
go ahead with the experiment,Copy !req
606. I called an employment agency
and told them I needed a womanCopy !req
607. who had experience
taking care of babies.Copy !req
608. About a dozen
applicants showed up.Copy !req
609. What did they say when they
found out it was a monkey?Copy !req
610. Well, most of them
didn't say anything.Copy !req
611. They just screamed and ran.Copy !req
612. The rest thought it was a
joke, but not a very funny one.Copy !req
613. And you should've seen
the types they sent over.Copy !req
614. I would've settled for anything.Copy !req
615. Then this Linden
woman came along.Copy !req
616. She grabbed the job.Copy !req
617. Poor thing.
She must've needed it badly.Copy !req
618. Oh, she did. Fine woman, though.Copy !req
619. Raised five children.
Uh, good farm stock.Copy !req
620. Peter, I think
this is wonderful.Copy !req
621. I don't blame you
for keeping it a secretCopy !req
622. until you're sure
of the results.Copy !req
623. Now I'd look pretty ridiculous if
the experiment didn't work out.Copy !req
624. Peter, I'm coming
over tomorrow night.Copy !req
625. You're coming over?Copy !req
626. Yes, maybe I can help.Copy !req
627. Uh, well, that's impossible.
You can't.Copy !req
628. Well, why not?Copy !req
629. You're teaching Bonzo
good manners, aren't you?Copy !req
630. Uh, yes.Copy !req
631. Let's see how
he behaves with a guest.Copy !req
632. Uh, he's not ready for that yet.Copy !req
633. Uh, we can't push him.
Maybe later.Copy !req
634. Peter,
I have a confession to make.Copy !req
635. You've been
avoiding me so much latelyCopy !req
636. that I was beginning to suspect
there was another woman.Copy !req
637. You're joking.Copy !req
638. No, I'm not.Copy !req
639. I can be a very
jealous woman, you know.Copy !req
640. I'm flattered.Copy !req
641. It won't be long now.Copy !req
642. Bonzo, polite little boys
do not sit on the table.Copy !req
643. Now get back in your chair.Copy !req
644. Keep your feet down.Copy !req
645. Al right.Copy !req
646. I'll just bet Poppa's forgottenCopy !req
647. this is your two-week
anniversary with us.Copy !req
648. Won't he be surprised?Copy !req
649. I guess we won't wait up
for Poppa any longer.Copy !req
650. Never mind.Copy !req
651. We... we'll celebrate
the anniversaryCopy !req
652. of our third week
together next Tuesday.Copy !req
653. Now, walk like a man.Copy !req
654. I'm sure Poppa has a good reasonCopy !req
655. for not coming home
or even calling.Copy !req
656. A college professor
is a very busy man, you know.Copy !req
657. Maybe he got
tied up in a meetingCopy !req
658. with other members
of the faculty.Copy !req
659. And even if he isn't,Copy !req
660. a man with all
those things on his mindCopy !req
661. is liable to forget anything.Copy !req
662. After all,
being a college professorCopy !req
663. is a lot more than just
teaching others to be smart.Copy !req
664. There are papers to correct
and report cards.Copy !req
665. Maybe he even had to look
up something at the library.Copy !req
666. Any one of these things
could keep him out late.Copy !req
667. In fact,
it's too much to expect PoppaCopy !req
668. to come home
for dinner every night.Copy !req
669. All right, now go to bed.Copy !req
670. Never mind, things will look
a lot better in the morning.Copy !req
671. Good night, Bonzo.Copy !req
672. Bonzo!Copy !req
673. What's the matter?Copy !req
674. Oh. I know.Copy !req
675. Poor little boy.Copy !req
676. Momma can't sleep
very well either.Copy !req
677. Here. Come on over here.Copy !req
678. There you are.Copy !req
679. Oh, no!Copy !req
680. Jane!Copy !req
681. Jane!Copy !req
682. What is it?Copy !req
683. Bonzo's gone. The window's open.Copy !req
684. He's been kidnapped!Copy !req
685. He was too upset to sleep
so he came running in here.Copy !req
686. Well, what upset him?Copy !req
687. Well, maybe it's because you
didn't come home to dinner.Copy !req
688. After all, it's a new
experience for him.Copy !req
689. The first time
Poppa didn't come home?Copy !req
690. Jane, something
wonderful's just happened.Copy !req
691. It has?Copy !req
692. It's unbelievable.Copy !req
693. Really?Copy !req
694. It just hit me.Copy !req
695. It did?Copy !req
696. Yeah.Copy !req
697. He opened two doors
to get to his momma.Copy !req
698. Oh.Copy !req
699. What do you know, Bonzo?Copy !req
700. Here's another book by Poppa.Copy !req
701. It's called
The Power of Environment.Copy !req
702. Isn't that...Copy !req
703. Bonzo, are you hiding something?Copy !req
704. What've you got there?Copy !req
705. Come on now, let Momma see.Copy !req
706. Get out.Copy !req
707. Aren't you tired of these yet?Copy !req
708. Now what did Poppa say to do?Copy !req
709. First, put back.Copy !req
710. Put them back, Bonzo.Copy !req
711. Put the beads back.Copy !req
712. Please, Bonzo.Copy !req
713. Put the beads back.Copy !req
714. Be a good boy.
Put Momma's beads back.Copy !req
715. Oh.Copy !req
716. Poor Momma.Copy !req
717. Poor Momma.Copy !req
718. Please, Bonzo,
put the beads back.Copy !req
719. Oh, that's a good boy.Copy !req
720. Good boy!Copy !req
721. Just wait till Momma
tells Poppa about this.Copy !req
722. Oh, dear, why didn't I
take pictures?Copy !req
723. If I'm going to cook
your Poppa's supper,Copy !req
724. I'd better get started.Copy !req
725. Now, you just play quietly
until Momma gets back.Copy !req
726. Well, that finishes our discussion
of sensation and perception.Copy !req
727. Tomorrow we'll take up
conditioned reflexes.Copy !req
728. That's all. Thank you.Copy !req
729. Prof. Boyd.Copy !req
730. Oh, Prof. Boyd.Copy !req
731. It's working like a charm.Copy !req
732. I couldn't have
done this a week ago.Copy !req
733. Isn't that a little
strenuous for you, Fosdick?Copy !req
734. Not at all.Copy !req
735. I'm on your diet.Copy !req
736. My what?Copy !req
737. You know, the fountain of youth.Copy !req
738. Oh.Copy !req
739. Who has more energy than babies?Copy !req
740. Just watch.Copy !req
741. Prof. Boyd, you're wanted
in the Dean's office.Copy !req
742. Thank you.Copy !req
743. The Dean wants me?Copy !req
744. No, but little chicken does.Copy !req
745. I beg your pardon.Copy !req
746. I can only give you
the message as I received it.Copy !req
747. It came over the phone
and was relayed here.Copy !req
748. A woman who gave the name
of little chickenCopy !req
749. wanted you to know that
"Poppa's boy is up a tree."Copy !req
750. Poppa's boy?Copy !req
751. That was the exact message
from little chicken.Copy !req
752. It's someone's idea of a joke,
Mrs. Swithen.Copy !req
753. We haven't got the fundsCopy !req
754. to expand the laboratory
at this time, Dr. Neumann.Copy !req
755. You'll just have to wait until...Copy !req
756. Prof. Boyd!Copy !req
757. Excuse me.Copy !req
758. Hans, our experiment's
up a tree.Copy !req
759. Experiment?Copy !req
760. You know, my houseguest,Copy !req
761. the young man who is
visiting here from Africa.Copy !req
762. Nein!Copy !req
763. Ja.Copy !req
764. Bonzo, this has gone far enough.Copy !req
765. I've had enough
of your foolishness.Copy !req
766. Now, do you hear me?Copy !req
767. Bonzo, you come down here.Copy !req
768. You come down here this minute.Copy !req
769. If you fall, don't
you come crying to me.Copy !req
770. Please, Bonzo, for Momma?Copy !req
771. Come down right now
and I won't punish you.Copy !req
772. All right,
if you won't come down,Copy !req
773. I'm coming up after you.
Then you'll get it!Copy !req
774. Number, please. Hello.Copy !req
775. Hello. Hello, number, please.Copy !req
776. Hello, number, please.Copy !req
777. Will you answer
your number, please?Copy !req
778. What's the matter?
Do you need help?Copy !req
779. Get the address
for Brighton 634,Copy !req
780. then ring the fire department.Copy !req
781. Someone's trying to get help.Copy !req
782. It sounds as if
they're suffocating.Copy !req
783. I'll call the police.Copy !req
784. Police department, a call just
came through information, get me...Copy !req
785. From brighton 634, the address is...
and hurry, please.Copy !req
786. You ought to be
ashamed of yourself,Copy !req
787. making Momma climb trees.Copy !req
788. Maybe you enjoy this game
of hide-and-seek,Copy !req
789. but I don't.Copy !req
790. Bonzo, wherever you are,
please come down.Copy !req
791. You can't hide from me
much longer, you bad boy!Copy !req
792. Bonzo! Oh, you... you put
that ladder back!Copy !req
793. Bonzo!Copy !req
794. Bonzo!Copy !req
795. Jane! Jane!Copy !req
796. Up here, Poppa. Up here!Copy !req
797. Oh, the bananas! We'll never
get him without the bananas.Copy !req
798. Hurry up. I'm stuck up here.Copy !req
799. Help me get down.Copy !req
800. Is Bonzo up there?Copy !req
801. No!Copy !req
802. Well, what are you
doin' up there?Copy !req
803. I'm hanging on to a branch
that's about to break off.Copy !req
804. Any further questions?Copy !req
805. Don't move!Copy !req
806. Hang on, Jane.
I'll be right there.Copy !req
807. Be careful that you're not
suddenly both right here.Copy !req
808. All right now, just hang on.Copy !req
809. Don't move. You'll be all right.Copy !req
810. I thought you said
Bonzo wasn't up here.Copy !req
811. Well, he wasn't.Copy !req
812. Well, he is now. Bonzo!Copy !req
813. You get down
before I tan your hide!Copy !req
814. No!Copy !req
815. Bonzo!Copy !req
816. Look out, Bonzo.
You'll fall.Copy !req
817. Bonzo, get down!Copy !req
818. Poppa, make him stop.Copy !req
819. Where's the fire? Yeah,
come on, where is it?Copy !req
820. We have no fire.Copy !req
821. Somebody called the fire
department from this house.Copy !req
822. You know, there's a law against
turnin' in a false alarm.Copy !req
823. Who's falsing an alarm?Copy !req
824. Our monkey's up a tree.Copy !req
825. Well, Prof. Boyd, what're you
doin' up in a tree with a...Copy !req
826. Did you say a monkey?Copy !req
827. Would one of you public servants
come up and help the young lady down?Copy !req
828. You heard the professor.Copy !req
829. You were saying...Copy !req
830. There's a very simple
explanation for all this,Copy !req
831. but I can't think what it is.Copy !req
832. Come on, fellas.Copy !req
833. We mustn't waste any more time.Copy !req
834. We got to get that monkey off
the telephone wires.Copy !req
835. Yeah, we better do that
right away.Copy !req
836. Over here. See?Copy !req
837. Well, he was there.Copy !req
838. And he was wearing glasses.Copy !req
839. Oh, sure, he was.
I saw him with my own eyes.Copy !req
840. Didn't you, Harry?Copy !req
841. Oh, sure, it was a gorilla,
about so high.Copy !req
842. It was not.Copy !req
843. He's a young chimpanzee with,
I might add, a higher IQCopy !req
844. than that required
for the police force.Copy !req
845. Are you sure he wasn't uh,
a rabbit about 6 feet tall?Copy !req
846. No!Copy !req
847. It wasn't a rabbit, anyhow.Copy !req
848. Well, you don't need us
around here any more.Copy !req
849. Wait a minute!Copy !req
850. You've got to help me
find that monkey!Copy !req
851. Take it easy, Professor.Copy !req
852. You've been workin' too hard.Copy !req
853. I have not!Copy !req
854. We'll just forget
about the false alarm, huh?Copy !req
855. Oh, all that excitement.Copy !req
856. It's not good for the heart.Copy !req
857. Yeah, but we still don't
know where Bonzo is.Copy !req
858. My fault. I shouldn't have
let him out of my sight.Copy !req
859. You can say that again.Copy !req
860. That's a mother's
responsibility.Copy !req
861. And calling the college?Copy !req
862. Suppose someone
had caught on about us.Copy !req
863. What else could I do, Poppa?Copy !req
864. Please, please,
for 35 years my Anna and ICopy !req
865. have not had a family quarrel.Copy !req
866. Don't start in so early.Copy !req
867. It's not good for the home.Copy !req
868. On the contrary, Dr. Neumann,Copy !req
869. there is nothing like a family
quarrel to expose the truth.Copy !req
870. Hello, Valerie.Copy !req
871. I hope you'll forgive me
for intruding.Copy !req
872. Now, just a minute. There's
more to this than meets the eye.Copy !req
873. That's quite obvious.
No, it isn't.Copy !req
874. Then, may I say
something, please?Copy !req
875. You've done
enough for one day.Copy !req
876. Now, now, Poppa.Copy !req
877. Momma should have her say.Copy !req
878. She also ought to
have an engagement ring.Copy !req
879. It seems long overdue.Copy !req
880. Uh...Copy !req
881. Valerie! Valerie!Copy !req
882. I didn't know he was
engaged to someone.Copy !req
883. It's his own fault.Copy !req
884. A poppa should tell a momma when
he's engaged to another woman.Copy !req
885. Look, darling,Copy !req
886. there's a simple
explanation for all this.Copy !req
887. You made me listen
the other night, remember?Copy !req
888. "Fine woman, raised five
children, good farm stock."Copy !req
889. Poor thing, she must've
needed the job badly.Copy !req
890. You've got the wrong
idea about all this.Copy !req
891. I did hire her because of Bonzo.Copy !req
892. Father was right.
You are what you are.Copy !req
893. Environment merely provides
the camouflage to hide it.Copy !req
894. And so we decided to prove
that Peter was rightCopy !req
895. by experimenting with Bonzo.Copy !req
896. You see?Copy !req
897. Yes, I see.Copy !req
898. Don't worry.Copy !req
899. Everything will be all right.Copy !req
900. Jane?Copy !req
901. Would you go upstairs
and get Bonzo, please?Copy !req
902. I want Dr. Neumann to
take him back to the lab.Copy !req
903. Are you going to
give up the experimentCopy !req
904. just because of this?Copy !req
905. Well, there's no reason
to continue it now.Copy !req
906. Oh, poor little Bonzo.Copy !req
907. After having had
such a nice home,Copy !req
908. he won't like it
being put back in a cage.Copy !req
909. A cage?Copy !req
910. You're not going
to put Bonzo in a cageCopy !req
911. like he was a... a... a criminal?Copy !req
912. Jane, let me
explain the situation...Copy !req
913. Hans has
already done that.Copy !req
914. Well, there's no longer any reason
to use Bonzo as a guinea pig.Copy !req
915. Don't you dare call
Bonzo a guinea pig.Copy !req
916. Listen, you wanted him
to learn the differenceCopy !req
917. between right and wrong,
didn't you?Copy !req
918. Well, he did.Copy !req
919. Today, when he took my beads,
he gave them back to me.Copy !req
920. Just because I asked him to.Copy !req
921. Ah, this is remarkable progress.Copy !req
922. Now even you must admit that.Copy !req
923. What did you bribe him with?Copy !req
924. Nothing.Copy !req
925. I just made believe
I was crying,Copy !req
926. and I guess he didn't want to
see me unhappy. That's all.Copy !req
927. See? See?Copy !req
928. Oh, what's the use?Copy !req
929. Even if Bonzo gave
a lecture on Darwinism,Copy !req
930. it wouldn't do me any good now.Copy !req
931. No, Jane, I'm going to give
you a month's salary and...Copy !req
932. You don't have to give me
anything, Prof. Boyd.Copy !req
933. And what's more, I think
Bonzo's going to be better off.Copy !req
934. He couldn't learn very much
from a man who quitsCopy !req
935. the first time
anything goes wrong.Copy !req
936. I agree with Momma 100 percent.Copy !req
937. Peter Boyd,
you are a big quitter.Copy !req
938. Oh, Hans, that's not fair.Copy !req
939. Who wants to be fair?Copy !req
940. Who cares whether you win
or lose Miss Tillinghast?Copy !req
941. In the interest of science,Copy !req
942. you should carry on
with the experiment.Copy !req
943. And I bet with you anything,
if it is successful,Copy !req
944. Miss Tillinghast will beg you
to return the... the thing,Copy !req
945. the engagement ring.Copy !req
946. Well, if she does
I'm going to tell herCopy !req
947. that she has Jane
to thank for it, believe me.Copy !req
948. Oh, you will?Copy !req
949. Uh, perhaps
we'll ask my Anna firstCopy !req
950. if that is such a good idea.Copy !req
951. Poppa, Hans.Copy !req
952. Bonzo isn't upstairs. What?Copy !req
953. I even looked in the attic.Copy !req
954. He might get run over or lost.Copy !req
955. And that could cost me
$2,000. Come on!Copy !req
956. That's a fine thing
for a father to sayCopy !req
957. when his child is lost.Copy !req
958. Peter, it's 11:00 already.Copy !req
959. How much longer do we search
for a noodle in the haystack?Copy !req
960. I guess you're right, Hans.Copy !req
961. We might as well
admit he's lost.Copy !req
962. Perhaps tomorrow
morning we can callCopy !req
963. the Lost and
Foundling department.Copy !req
964. That might be a good...Copy !req
965. Hans, look. Over there.Copy !req
966. It's Bonzo.
It's our little one.Copy !req
967. Easy, now, don't frighten him.Copy !req
968. Attaboy, Bonzo.
Well, are you glad to see me?Copy !req
969. Well, I'm glad to see you.Copy !req
970. Don't worry, Bonzo.Copy !req
971. He won't put you back in a cage.Copy !req
972. Let's go home.Copy !req
973. We started these aptitude testsCopy !req
974. a couple of weeks
after he ran away.Copy !req
975. Two minutes and ten seconds.
How's that, Hans?Copy !req
976. That's remarkable.Copy !req
977. You know with proof like that...Copy !req
978. What's this?Copy !req
979. Oh, that's the first time.Copy !req
980. Bonzo demonstrated table
manners without being coached.Copy !req
981. I don't believe it.Copy !req
982. Well, there it is.Copy !req
983. You know, my little grandson
in Los Angeles,Copy !req
984. he could take lessons from him.Copy !req
985. Uh, something's happening?Copy !req
986. No, no, that's Jane
locking the starting buttonCopy !req
987. so we can be
in the picture together.Copy !req
988. Now this is good.Copy !req
989. We do this every morningCopy !req
990. uh, before I leave for class,
so that Bonzo...Copy !req
991. Every morning you kiss Jane?Copy !req
992. Well, certainly.
How else can we createCopy !req
993. the proper atmosphere for him?Copy !req
994. Harmony in the home.Copy !req
995. Now, these are the sacrifices
we have to make for science.Copy !req
996. Oh.Copy !req
997. I hid in the closet with
the camera to get this.Copy !req
998. By repetition, I established that
everything in that drawer was mine.Copy !req
999. I wanted to see if he'd know if
he was doing something wrong.Copy !req
1000. Watch this.Copy !req
1001. I chose the most tempting prize.Copy !req
1002. Well... Ah...Copy !req
1003. Is that moral reasoning?Copy !req
1004. Oh, it's unbelievable.Copy !req
1005. You know,
our Bonzo is as good as gold.Copy !req
1006. It's wunderbar.Copy !req
1007. I think you could give a
demonstration for the Dean right now.Copy !req
1008. He'll see a demonstration
when I appearCopy !req
1009. before the Psychological
Society next month.Copy !req
1010. I'm going to make
him eat humble pie.Copy !req
1011. Then I'll clear
everything up with Val.Copy !req
1012. Oh.Copy !req
1013. Say, I have a class.Copy !req
1014. And I have the Dean.
He wants to see me.Copy !req
1015. Maybe I'll get a larger
appropriation. I hope.Copy !req
1016. Oh, you and Anna haven't forgotten
about the birthday party tonight?Copy !req
1017. Well, Anna had to go to
New Haven to visit her sister.Copy !req
1018. But, uh, I wouldn't dream
of missing Bonzo's birthday.Copy !req
1019. Personally, I think
it's stretching it a bit,Copy !req
1020. but Jane insists
that he have oneCopy !req
1021. even though we don't know
how old he is.Copy !req
1022. Always I agree with Jane.Copy !req
1023. Do you know why?Copy !req
1024. Because she has a heart,
a beautiful heart.Copy !req
1025. And that doesn't grow
from snobbish chromosomes.Copy !req
1026. I'll see you tonight.Copy !req
1027. Uh, Neumann.Copy !req
1028. Good afternoon,
Dean Tillinghast.Copy !req
1029. Good news for you. Sit down.Copy !req
1030. Thank you.Copy !req
1031. We're going to be able to add
$500 to your laboratory fund.Copy !req
1032. Oh, that's wonderful.Copy !req
1033. $500, we can always use.Copy !req
1034. How's that little chimpanzee
of ours getting along, Doctor?Copy !req
1035. Chimpanzee?Copy !req
1036. Yes, the eccentric
little fellow.Copy !req
1037. Oh, him.Copy !req
1038. He's fine, thank you very much.Copy !req
1039. He... he's very intelligent.Copy !req
1040. You wouldn't believe it.Copy !req
1041. Good. We're going to send him
to Yale University.Copy !req
1042. Yale?Copy !req
1043. Yes.Copy !req
1044. He's not that intelligent.Copy !req
1045. What?Copy !req
1046. A joke.Copy !req
1047. I've just sold him for $2,500.Copy !req
1048. You sold him?Copy !req
1049. See that he's shipped
to Dr. WillisCopy !req
1050. of the Medical
Research Department.Copy !req
1051. Why Medical Research?Copy !req
1052. Well, they've just lost a chimpanzee
and they have to have another oneCopy !req
1053. in order to
complete the project.Copy !req
1054. And they will use our little
chimpanzee for this?Copy !req
1055. Yes.Copy !req
1056. No, no, Dean Tillinghast.
You can't do that.Copy !req
1057. Oh, why not? We haven't been
making use of him, anyway.Copy !req
1058. Well, you see, our little...Copy !req
1059. The... the... the little one
we... we have... We...Copy !req
1060. We've not...Copy !req
1061. He's not here.Copy !req
1062. Not here? Where is he?Copy !req
1063. He was not feeling well
so I thought perhapsCopy !req
1064. a few weeks in the country,Copy !req
1065. in the mountains
might do him good.Copy !req
1066. Little vacation.Copy !req
1067. You're not making sense,
Dr. Neumann.Copy !req
1068. What's wrong with him?Copy !req
1069. He's slightly verruckt.
He's crazy.Copy !req
1070. He thinks he's a little boy.Copy !req
1071. Come now.Copy !req
1072. Our Bonzo is no ordinary animal.Copy !req
1073. He's good and he's kind.Copy !req
1074. Really, Neumann, you amaze me.Copy !req
1075. I've always considered you
a devoted scientist.Copy !req
1076. Get him back at once
from wherever you have him.Copy !req
1077. Then crate him
and ship him to Yale.Copy !req
1078. I've promised Willis
delivery by Monday.Copy !req
1079. Please.Copy !req
1080. Who needs $500?Copy !req
1081. We have everything.Copy !req
1082. Monday, Dr. Neumann.Copy !req
1083. Monday.Copy !req
1084. Monday.Copy !req
1085. He certainly likes
your gift, Uncle Hans.Copy !req
1086. Perhaps he'll grow up
to be a 6-weeks bicycle racer.Copy !req
1087. Come on, Bonzo.
Here's your cake.Copy !req
1088. Bonzo, look, a birthday cake.Copy !req
1089. Hey, look here. He's ready to
blow out those candles already.Copy !req
1090. Wait a minute.Copy !req
1091. Isn't he supposed
to make a wish first?Copy !req
1092. I wonder what it would be.Copy !req
1093. Let me wish for him.Copy !req
1094. Yes, you wish.Copy !req
1095. Bonzo, I wish that you'll haveCopy !req
1096. many more birthdays
just like this one.Copy !req
1097. With those you love and trust
around you alwaysCopy !req
1098. to share your happiness.Copy !req
1099. And I wish that you'll get
a chance very soon to proveCopy !req
1100. that being loved and looked
after like a human beingCopy !req
1101. has made you feel
like a human being.Copy !req
1102. And that if love
can do that to you,Copy !req
1103. then it ought to be able to
make some other human beingsCopy !req
1104. human beings.Copy !req
1105. Why, you old duffer.Copy !req
1106. This is supposed to be
a happy occasion.Copy !req
1107. I'm happy,
only my eyes are crying.Copy !req
1108. Come on, Bonzo,
make your wish come true.Copy !req
1109. Blow out the candles.Copy !req
1110. Attaboy, Bonzo.Copy !req
1111. Good boy, Bonzo.Copy !req
1112. You're supposed to eat
your cake, not wear it.Copy !req
1113. All right, it's your birthday
SO you can sleep in it,Copy !req
1114. but you won't be comfortable.Copy !req
1115. Good night, Bonzo.Copy !req
1116. It was like a real
kid's party, wasn't it?Copy !req
1117. Yeah.Copy !req
1118. I only wish Bonzo should live
to have another birthday.Copy !req
1119. Okay, out with it.Copy !req
1120. You've been acting like
a second-year medical studentCopy !req
1121. at his first postmortem.Copy !req
1122. Postmortem.Copy !req
1123. Don't say that.Copy !req
1124. What's wrong?Copy !req
1125. All right, Peter.
I admit something is wrong.Copy !req
1126. I... I... I... I didn't want to talk
about it in... in... In front of Jane.Copy !req
1127. Peter, what if, uh... I mean...Copy !req
1128. Suppose you had
to give up Bonzo?Copy !req
1129. Oh, so that's it.
Now, Hans, be sensible.Copy !req
1130. I expect to give up Bonzo,Copy !req
1131. just as soon as
the experiment's finished.Copy !req
1132. It isn't wise to
get too attached to animals.Copy !req
1133. To that conclusion
I have already jumped.Copy !req
1134. But what about Jane?Copy !req
1135. Well, I expect
she'll take it pretty hard.Copy !req
1136. She's very emotional about him.Copy !req
1137. It's a sublimation,
a transferenceCopy !req
1138. since at the moment
she hasn't anyoneCopy !req
1139. upon whom to
lavish her affections.Copy !req
1140. You're sure of that, huh?Copy !req
1141. Positive.
I know her like a book.Copy !req
1142. Don't worry about her.
She'll get over it all right.Copy !req
1143. I'll give her three months
salary when I let her go.Copy !req
1144. She'll have a long vacation before
she has to take another job.Copy !req
1145. Why,
that's very generous of you.Copy !req
1146. She deserves it.Copy !req
1147. I only hope she meets some
nice, worthwhile young fellow.Copy !req
1148. You know, Peter,
if I were a young man,Copy !req
1149. and I hadn't met my Anna,
and I'd meet Jane,Copy !req
1150. I'd make Jane my Anna.Copy !req
1151. Under different circumstances
I might feel the same way.Copy !req
1152. That's if Jane
would be your Anna.Copy !req
1153. Jane?Copy !req
1154. So I'm subli...Copy !req
1155. Whatever you call it,
transferring, am I?Copy !req
1156. Oh, Jane, now.Copy !req
1157. So you know me like a book?Copy !req
1158. As far as I'm concerned,
Prof. Peter "Poppa" Boyd,Copy !req
1159. you've come to the last page
to where it says "The End."Copy !req
1160. Now, what's that all about?Copy !req
1161. Ah, dumpkopf!Copy !req
1162. And what's got into you?Copy !req
1163. You... You're the psychologist.Copy !req
1164. You ought to know.Copy !req
1165. Uh, go back to school
and study your Freud.Copy !req
1166. Wait a minute.Copy !req
1167. Are you trying to tell me
that... that she's in love with me?Copy !req
1168. Oh, no, I couldn't imagine it.Copy !req
1169. How could a nice,
warmhearted girlCopy !req
1170. like Jane fall
in love with uh, a spigot?Copy !req
1171. Turn on, emotion.
Turn off, no emotion. Uh...Copy !req
1172. Well, I... I never realized, ICopy !req
1173. I didn't think...Copy !req
1174. Who expects
a psychologist to think?Copy !req
1175. Especially when
you're so busy thinkingCopy !req
1176. what you think other
people are thinking.Copy !req
1177. Do you know of what I was
thinking all evening?Copy !req
1178. I guess not, Hans.Copy !req
1179. WhCopy !req
1180. I'll tell you tomorrow.Copy !req
1181. You have enough troubles.Copy !req
1182. Come drive me home.Copy !req
1183. In a minute.Copy !req
1184. Jane.Copy !req
1185. Jane.Copy !req
1186. Go away.Copy !req
1187. Jane, please.
I want to talk to you.Copy !req
1188. Go away!Copy !req
1189. I told you to go away.Copy !req
1190. I don't want to see you anymore.Copy !req
1191. Bonzo! How on earth did you
ever get out here? Did Jane...Copy !req
1192. Where is Momma? Where is Momma?Copy !req
1193. De Witt's jewelry. Bonzo!Copy !req
1194. You stay there.Copy !req
1195. Now, you stay here.Copy !req
1196. I'll be there in a minute!Copy !req
1197. Now, listen, Hans, go to
my house and wake up Jane.Copy !req
1198. Bring her down to the corner
of Elm and Republic right away.Copy !req
1199. I'll be waiting in my car.
What's the matter?Copy !req
1200. A little matter of 10 years,
if you don't hurry.Copy !req
1201. What kept you?Copy !req
1202. Peter, something
terrible has happened.Copy !req
1203. You're telling me.Copy !req
1204. Jane has gone.Copy !req
1205. What do you mean, gone?Copy !req
1206. Gone. Disappeared.Copy !req
1207. She left a note. Here.Copy !req
1208. "So this time I'm taking
the bus back to Hartford,Copy !req
1209. "and I hope you'll be very
happy with your Dr. Tillinghast.Copy !req
1210. Yours truly, Jane Linden".Copy !req
1211. See? Gone.Copy !req
1212. Well, she certainly
picked the right time.Copy !req
1213. For what?Copy !req
1214. I'll tell you
about it on the way.Copy !req
1215. Come on in my car.Copy !req
1216. Hello, Bonzo. Come on. Come.Copy !req
1217. Get in. Get in here, Bonzo.
Get back in here.Copy !req
1218. Get in there. Come here.Copy !req
1219. But how?Copy !req
1220. That's what I'd like to know.Copy !req
1221. It's a sure thing he couldn't get
in from this side of the building.Copy !req
1222. Let's take a look
around in back.Copy !req
1223. Hey, you come back and sit down.Copy !req
1224. You've done enough
for one night.Copy !req
1225. Bonzo, move over.Copy !req
1226. Shh.Copy !req
1227. Do you think he'll do it?Copy !req
1228. Well, if he doesn't,Copy !req
1229. he won't be
the only one in a cage.Copy !req
1230. Now, Bonzo, be a good boy.Copy !req
1231. Put back.Copy !req
1232. Please put back, in there.Copy !req
1233. In there!Copy !req
1234. Bonzo, like you do for Momma.Copy !req
1235. Put back. Please? Put back.Copy !req
1236. Oh, why did Jane have to
pick tonight to go away?Copy !req
1237. Bonzo, not Momma's. Put back!Copy !req
1238. Do you think it's possible
to catch up with Jane?Copy !req
1239. Oh, sure. The bus is
halfway to Hartford.Copy !req
1240. By the time we got back, this
place'd be swarming with police.Copy !req
1241. There is one way
we might get him to do it.Copy !req
1242. Bananas.Copy !req
1243. Bananas?Copy !req
1244. Who sells bananas
at this time of the night?Copy !req
1245. I've got some at home
in the kitchen.Copy !req
1246. Why don't you jump in the car
and get 'em real quick?Copy !req
1247. I'll stay here with him and
maybe figure something out.Copy !req
1248. All right.
Take him with you, but hurry.Copy !req
1249. Going somewhere?Copy !req
1250. Why, yes.Copy !req
1251. If you tell me
you're playin' fireman,Copy !req
1252. I'll laugh myself to death.Copy !req
1253. Come on.Copy !req
1254. But, Officer...Copy !req
1255. (man) "Ingenious
robbery baffles police."Copy !req
1256. "Despite a 12 hour grilling,Copy !req
1257. "Prof. Boyd refused
to divulge the mannerCopy !req
1258. "in which he allegedly
stole the gemsCopy !req
1259. and showed no sign of
cooperating with the police."Copy !req
1260. Hey, how about that?Copy !req
1261. "The brilliant young
psychologist admittedCopy !req
1262. "he was the son of
the late 'Silky' BoydCopy !req
1263. "alias 'The Professor,Copy !req
1264. "a notorious confidence man
of the past.Copy !req
1265. The district attorney plans to
question Boyd further today."Copy !req
1266. Now, look here, Professor.Copy !req
1267. You may know a lot
about psychology,Copy !req
1268. but you don't know the law.Copy !req
1269. We could send you up for possession
of stolen goods if nothing else.Copy !req
1270. That's 2-to-10, Professor.Copy !req
1271. Now why don't you be a
good fellow and come clean?Copy !req
1272. I've told you the truth,
strange as it sounds.Copy !req
1273. Strange is right.Copy !req
1274. Like the time Daggett, here,Copy !req
1275. caught you up a tree
with a blonde.Copy !req
1276. Lookin' for
a monkey with glasses.Copy !req
1277. You told me that before.Copy !req
1278. That was the truth, too.Copy !req
1279. All right, let's go
back to the original story.Copy !req
1280. Now,Copy !req
1281. you say it was a monkey
that took the necklace.Copy !req
1282. Correct.Copy !req
1283. A monkey that wasn't there.Copy !req
1284. At the moment I was
apprehended, that's right.Copy !req
1285. Now, without jimmying
any doors or windows,Copy !req
1286. this monkey that wasn't thereCopy !req
1287. got into Dewitt's jewelry
store and took a necklaceCopy !req
1288. that wasn't there, after the
monkey that wasn't there got away.Copy !req
1289. Sounds absurd, doesn't it?Copy !req
1290. No, no, not at all.Copy !req
1291. But there is one little thing
we haven't quite cleared up.Copy !req
1292. Where was the monkey
if he wasn't there?Copy !req
1293. On his way home.Copy !req
1294. All the way to Africa?Copy !req
1295. Don't be ridiculous.Copy !req
1296. Yes, Mac. Don't be ridiculous.Copy !req
1297. He's telling the truth.Copy !req
1298. I see the whole
thing very clearly.Copy !req
1299. This monkey is a finger man.Copy !req
1300. The Fagin of a mob
that hangs out at the zoo.Copy !req
1301. He and the mob get together
to plan a little job.Copy !req
1302. "How's about the first national
bank," says the orangutan.Copy !req
1303. "Or maybe the post office,"
says the baboon.Copy !req
1304. "Oh no!" says Fagin.Copy !req
1305. "Let's try
Dewitt's jewelry store.Copy !req
1306. "It's a cinch.Copy !req
1307. The walls are
made of ectoplasm."Copy !req
1308. "We can walk right through, take
what we want, and walk out."Copy !req
1309. "Yeah, but how about the
swag?" Asked the gorilla.Copy !req
1310. "I got a fence comes right
to the job," says Fagin.Copy !req
1311. "His moniker is 'The Professor'.Copy !req
1312. "Pays off plenty peanuts.Copy !req
1313. He don't ask no questions."Copy !req
1314. And he don't answer none!Copy !req
1315. Daggett, take him away.Copy !req
1316. Please, Bonzo, eat. Please.Copy !req
1317. What am I going to do with you?Copy !req
1318. Your poppa is in jailCopy !req
1319. and by now they're
giving him the 13th degree.Copy !req
1320. We can't find your mommaCopy !req
1321. and you're going away to Yale.Copy !req
1322. Please, eat. If only
to keep up my strength.Copy !req
1323. Look.Copy !req
1324. Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
1325. Uncle Hans.Copy !req
1326. Liebling.Copy !req
1327. I got here just
as soon as I could.Copy !req
1328. For heavens sakes,
what happened?Copy !req
1329. What happened?Copy !req
1330. Bonzo took a necklace
and Peter is accusedCopy !req
1331. because without you, he
cannot make him put it back.Copy !req
1332. And now they've
come to take Bonzo.Copy !req
1333. To jail?Copy !req
1334. No, to Yale.Copy !req
1335. Oh, Bonzo.Copy !req
1336. Well, you poor little fella
in that nasty little cage.Copy !req
1337. Why the Department
of Medical Research?Copy !req
1338. Why do you think?Copy !req
1339. Oh, no!Copy !req
1340. Well, we'll see about that.Copy !req
1341. Wait, Jane. Wait, Jane.Copy !req
1342. And so, to teach
the monkey human ethics,Copy !req
1343. we experimented.Copy !req
1344. And then one night,
something goes wrong.Copy !req
1345. It went wrong long
before last night.Copy !req
1346. He only did it for you.Copy !req
1347. That's beside the point.Copy !req
1348. Do you realize, Neumann,
that if I chooseCopy !req
1349. to believe this fantastic tale,Copy !req
1350. I should have to ask
for your resignationCopy !req
1351. for misusing school property?Copy !req
1352. Please, Bonzo.Copy !req
1353. That's not the way to make
friends and influence deans.Copy !req
1354. The
delivery men are here, sir.Copy !req
1355. They've come for the chimpanzee.Copy !req
1356. Have them
come in here at once.Copy !req
1357. Oh, no, you don't.Copy !req
1358. Nobody's going to take Bonzo.Copy !req
1359. What do you think you're doing?Copy !req
1360. I don't believe
you want to help Peter.Copy !req
1361. My dear young lady, you're
being very impertinent.Copy !req
1362. No. She is being very pertinent.Copy !req
1363. Pertinent is right.Copy !req
1364. After all, she is Bonzo's momma.Copy !req
1365. What?Copy !req
1366. That's what Peter calls her.Copy !req
1367. An unofficial title, I believe.Copy !req
1368. If you mean what I think you
mean, that's a dirty crack.Copy !req
1369. It's exactly what I mean.Copy !req
1370. You know something?
I feel sorry for you.Copy !req
1371. It must be awful to be
without a flaw inside or out.Copy !req
1372. And to sit way up on a throne some
place afraid of being just a woman,Copy !req
1373. and falling in love with someoneCopy !req
1374. who's not as perfect as you are.Copy !req
1375. See here, Miss Linden.Copy !req
1376. Well, Peter may not be
perfect, but he loves her.Copy !req
1377. The dope.Copy !req
1378. And I want to help him
because I'm a dope, too.Copy !req
1379. You're no dope, Jane.
You couldn't be.Copy !req
1380. You haven't a university degree
and you don't teach logic.Copy !req
1381. Well, Yale will have to do
without Bonzo.Copy !req
1382. And I will have to do
without $2,000.Copy !req
1383. Come, Jane.Copy !req
1384. Well, now that
you've explained it,Copy !req
1385. the whole thing
seems very logical.Copy !req
1386. But there are a few little
things I'd like to clear up.Copy !req
1387. Now, you, Miss Linden,Copy !req
1388. you say you were on your way to
Hartford at the time of the robberyCopy !req
1389. for some reason
you do not care to explain.Copy !req
1390. It was very personal.Copy !req
1391. Oh, forgive my prying.Copy !req
1392. And you, Prof. Boyd,Copy !req
1393. can you give me
just one teensy clueCopy !req
1394. as to how Junior, here, got
into Dewitt's Jewelry store?Copy !req
1395. No proof, mind you, just a clue?Copy !req
1396. I've told you repeatedly,
Mr. Babcock,Copy !req
1397. I don't know how he did it.Copy !req
1398. Yes, you have.Copy !req
1399. I've also told you repeatedly that
I'm sure Miss Linden can get himCopy !req
1400. to put the necklace back, and
then we'll know how he got in.Copy !req
1401. Well, we're prepared to let
him try, aren't we, Mr. Dewitt?Copy !req
1402. Yes, I'm prepared.Copy !req
1403. Of course,
it's only an imitation,Copy !req
1404. but I doubt if even a genius like
Bonzo could tell the difference.Copy !req
1405. Okay, young lady,
make him return it.Copy !req
1406. And be sure he gets a receipt!Copy !req
1407. See, Bonzo? These are Momma's.Copy !req
1408. Now put these back.Copy !req
1409. Put these back.Copy !req
1410. He's going to do it.
He's going to do it.Copy !req
1411. What are we waiting for?Copy !req
1412. Well, that's it.
Four hours is long enough.Copy !req
1413. That jungle
Houdini isn't coming.Copy !req
1414. Please be patient, Mr. Petcock.Copy !req
1415. Babcock.Copy !req
1416. Couldn't we wait just a
little longer, Mr. Babcock?Copy !req
1417. I'm afraid it's hopeless, Jane.Copy !req
1418. He found his way here the
first time by accident.Copy !req
1419. It's too much to hope
he can do it again.Copy !req
1420. If I were you, Boyd,
I'd get myself a good lawyer.Copy !req
1421. Okay, lieutenant,
take them back to the...Copy !req
1422. It's Bonzo.Copy !req
1423. I knew he'd do it.
I just knew it.Copy !req
1424. So I feel justified in sayingCopy !req
1425. that Bonzo was motivated
in everything he didCopy !req
1426. by love for those who loved
and protected him.Copy !req
1427. Splendid work, Boyd!Copy !req
1428. Oh, forgive me.
I've just been remindedCopy !req
1429. that I'm holding up
the first stepCopy !req
1430. of another important experiment.Copy !req
1431. Ladies and gentlemen, Operation
Bonzo, as it is now knownCopy !req
1432. has greatly added to the
prestige of Sheridan College.Copy !req
1433. Because of this,
I feel impelled to say that...Copy !req
1434. Not now, Father.Copy !req
1435. You're holding up a honeymoon.Copy !req
1436. Happy honeymoon!Copy !req
1437. Congratulations to you!Copy !req
1438. Well, Peter,Copy !req
1439. I wish that you two should always
be as happy as my Anna and me.Copy !req
1440. Thanks, Hans, for everything.Copy !req
1441. And you, too, Valerie.Copy !req
1442. You've been wonderful.Copy !req
1443. I'm glad for you, Peter.Copy !req
1444. I'm really glad for the way
everything has turned out.Copy !req
1445. Oh, look, young fella.Copy !req
1446. Just this once,
the back seat for you.Copy !req
1447. Now you stay there and be good.Copy !req
1448. Bonzo.Copy !req
1449. Bonzo! Whose honeymoon is this?Copy !req
1450. Get back here in the back seat!Copy !req
1451. Oh, Poppa.Copy !req
1452. By golly, I'm the richest man
in six counties.Copy !req