1. - Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.Copy !req
2. Merry Christmas.Copy !req
3. Penguin sighting!
Check it out! Man or myth?Copy !req
4. What is he? Today's edition.
Another Penguin sighting.Copy !req
5. Another Penguin sighting! Check it out!Copy !req
6. Grotesque penguin-man living in Gotham
sewers. Read all about the latest sighting.Copy !req
7. Could I have your attention, Gotham City?Copy !req
8. It is time for tonight's lighting of the tree.Copy !req
9. How about that?Copy !req
10. Part man, part penguin. All horrifying!Copy !req
11. Find out for only 50 cents. Come on!Copy !req
12. Read about the possible terror
beneath our feet. Check it out, people!Copy !req
13. Read about it! Today's issue.Copy !req
14. Read about the latest sighting
of the penguin creature.Copy !req
15. Missing link between man and bird.Copy !req
16. My dear boy...Copy !req
17. sometimes it's a diversion
to read such rubbish.Copy !req
18. Most of the time, it's a waste of time.Copy !req
19. Whatever. Today's issue, the Penguin.
Check him out. Man or myth?Copy !req
20. The Globe. Right here. Twenty-five cents.Copy !req
21. Well, here's hoping.Copy !req
22. Maybe with a little luck, Gotham will have
its first merry Christmas in a good long while.Copy !req
23. I feel almost vulgar in this yuletide context
mentioning the new power plant.Copy !req
24. But if we're gonna break ground,
when we gotta break ground...Copy !req
25. I'll need permits, variances, tax incentives.
That sort of pesky nonsense.Copy !req
26. Power plant?Copy !req
27. Max, all our studies show us
we've got enough power...Copy !req
28. to get us into the middle of the next century.Copy !req
29. Your analysts are talking growth
at 1 percent per annum.Copy !req
30. That's not growth. That's a mild swelling.Copy !req
31. Imagine a Gotham City...Copy !req
32. of the future, lit up like a blanket of stars...Copy !req
33. but blinking on and off...Copy !req
34. embarrassingly low on juice.Copy !req
35. Frankly...Copy !req
36. I cringe, Mr. Mayor.Copy !req
37. Sorry, any plans you've got will have
to go to the usual committees...Copy !req
38. through the usual channels.Copy !req
39. I have a suggestion.Copy !req
40. Well...Copy !req
41. actually, really, just more like a question.Copy !req
42. I'm afraid
we haven't properly housebroken Miss Kyle.Copy !req
43. In the plus column, though...Copy !req
44. she makes a hell of a cup of coffee.Copy !req
45. Dad.Copy !req
46. Mr. Mayor. It's time to go down
and bring joy to the masses.Copy !req
47. "Actually, more of a question."Copy !req
48. You stupid corn dog.Copy !req
49. Oh, God. Corn dog.Copy !req
50. All right. Give us some room.Copy !req
51. Wait, let him through, please.Copy !req
52. I have enough signatures from Shreck
employees alone to warrant a recall.Copy !req
53. That's not a threat, just simple numbers.Copy !req
54. Maybe. But you don't have an issue, Max.Copy !req
55. And you sure as hell don't have a candidate.Copy !req
56. Hello, Mr. Shreck!Copy !req
57. Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.Copy !req
58. From those of us at City Hall
to each and every one of you...Copy !req
59. happy holidays.Copy !req
60. We have with us tonight
a man who really needs no introduction.Copy !req
61. He's given so much to our city.Copy !req
62. Will you welcome, please,
Gotham's own Santa Claus: Max Shreck.Copy !req
63. Pick up those contracts from Personnel and...Copy !req
64. pick up the dry cleaning, paper towels...Copy !req
65. Oh, darn.Copy !req
66. Forgot my speech.Copy !req
67. Remind me to take it out on what's-her-name.Copy !req
68. Santa Claus? Afraid not.Copy !req
69. I'm just a poor schmo who got lucky.Copy !req
70. And sue me if I want to give some back.Copy !req
71. I only wish I could hand out more
than just expensive baubles.Copy !req
72. I wish I could hand out world peace...Copy !req
73. and unconditional love...Copy !req
74. wrapped in a big bow.Copy !req
75. Oh, but you can. Oh, but you will.Copy !req
76. Merry Christmas.Copy !req
77. - Great idea.
- Not mine.Copy !req
78. Let's go!Copy !req
79. What're you waiting for? The signal!Copy !req
80. We want the big guy!
The guy who runs the show!Copy !req
81. - What do you want?
- Not you!Copy !req
82. - Shreck!
- You'll have to go through me.Copy !req
83. Ooh.Copy !req
84. - Chip.
- Dad, go! Save yourself!Copy !req
85. Dad, go!Copy !req
86. Shut up!Copy !req
87. You take one step closer, Mr. Man-bat, and...Copy !req
88. Ha-ha-ha. You missed.Copy !req
89. Wow.Copy !req
90. The Batman.Copy !req
91. Or is it just Batman?Copy !req
92. Uh, your choice, of course.Copy !req
93. Well, that was very brief.Copy !req
94. Just like all the men in my life.Copy !req
95. I know, what men?Copy !req
96. Well...Copy !req
97. Then again, there's you. But you need therapy.Copy !req
98. Thanks for saving the day, Batman.
I'm afraid the Circus Gang is back.Copy !req
99. We'll see.Copy !req
100. They almost made off with our mover
and shaker, Max Shreck, but...Copy !req
101. Where is that insufferable son of a bitch?Copy !req
102. Hi.Copy !req
103. I believe the word you're looking for is...Copy !req
104. Actually, this is all just a bad dream.Copy !req
105. You're at home in bed...Copy !req
106. heavily sedated, resting comfortably...Copy !req
107. dying from the carcinogens
you've personally spewed...Copy !req
108. in a lifetime of profiteering.Copy !req
109. Tragic irony or poetic justice?Copy !req
110. You tell me.Copy !req
111. My God, it's true.Copy !req
112. Penguin Man of the sewer.Copy !req
113. Odd as it may seem, Max...Copy !req
114. you and I have something in common.Copy !req
115. We're both perceived as monsters.Copy !req
116. But somehow...Copy !req
117. you're a well-respected monster...Copy !req
118. and I am, to date, not!Copy !req
119. Frankly, I feel that's a bum rap.
I'm a businessman.Copy !req
120. Tough, yes.Copy !req
121. Shrewd, okay.
But that does not make me a monster.Copy !req
122. Don't embarrass yourself, Max!
I know all about you.Copy !req
123. What you hide, I discover.Copy !req
124. What you put in your toilet...Copy !req
125. I place on my mantle. Get the picture?Copy !req
126. What, is that supposed to hypnotize me?Copy !req
127. No, just give you a splitting headache.Copy !req
128. It's not working.Copy !req
129. You big baby! Just blanks.Copy !req
130. Would I go through all this trouble tonight
just to kill you?Copy !req
131. No, Max.Copy !req
132. I have an entirely other purpose.Copy !req
133. I'm ready, Max.Copy !req
134. I've been down here too long.Copy !req
135. It's time for me to ascend...Copy !req
136. to re-emerge...Copy !req
137. with your help...Copy !req
138. your know-how...Copy !req
139. your savvy.Copy !req
140. I wasn't born in the sewer, you know.Copy !req
141. I come from...Copy !req
142. Like you.Copy !req
143. And, like you, I want some respect!Copy !req
144. A recognition of my basic humanity.Copy !req
145. But most of all...Copy !req
146. I want to find out who I am
by finding my parents...Copy !req
147. learning my human name.Copy !req
148. Simple stuff that the good people
of Gotham take for granted!Copy !req
149. And...Copy !req
150. exactly why am I gonna help you?Copy !req
151. Well...Copy !req
152. Let's start.Copy !req
153. Ooh. What have we here? Let's see.Copy !req
154. A batch of toxic waste...Copy !req
155. from your clean textile plant.Copy !req
156. There's a whole lagoon of this crud in the back.Copy !req
157. That could have come from anywhere.Copy !req
158. What about the documents that prove
you own half the firetraps in Gotham City?Copy !req
159. If there were such documents...Copy !req
160. that's not an admission.Copy !req
161. I would have seen to it they were shredded.Copy !req
162. Good idea.Copy !req
163. A lot of tape and a little patience
make all the difference.Copy !req
164. By the way...Copy !req
165. how's Fred Atkins, your old partner?Copy !req
166. Fred?Copy !req
167. Fred's actually...Copy !req
168. I believe he's on extended vacation. He's good.Copy !req
169. Good.Copy !req
170. Hiya, Max. Remember me? I'm Fred's hand!Copy !req
171. You want to greet any other body parts?Copy !req
172. Remember, Max...Copy !req
173. you flush it, I flaunt it.Copy !req
174. You know what, Mr. Penguin, sir?Copy !req
175. I think perhaps...Copy !req
176. I could help orchestrate
a little welcome-home scenario for you.Copy !req
177. Once we're both back home,
perhaps we can help each other out.Copy !req
178. You won't regret this, Mr. Shreck.Copy !req
179. Honey, I'm home!Copy !req
180. I forgot. I'm not married.Copy !req
181. Miss Kitty.Copy !req
182. Back from more sexual escapades
you refuse to share?Copy !req
183. Not that I'd ever pry.Copy !req
184. Drink your dinner.Copy !req
185. What?Copy !req
186. How can anyone be so pathetic?Copy !req
187. Yes, to you I seem pathetic.
But I'm a working girl.Copy !req
188. Gotta pay the rent. Maybe if you were
chipping in instead of stepping out.Copy !req
189. Selina, dear,
it's your mother. Just calling to say hello.Copy !req
190. Yeah, right, but...Copy !req
191. But I'm disappointed
you're not coming home for Christmas.Copy !req
192. I want to discuss just why you insist
on languishing in Gotham City...Copy !req
193. as some lowly secretary.Copy !req
194. Lowly assistant.Copy !req
195. Selina,
about that Christmas getaway we planned...Copy !req
196. I'll be going alone. Dr. Shaw says I need
to be my own person, not an appendage.Copy !req
197. Some appendage!Copy !req
198. The party never stops
on Selina Kyle's answering machine.Copy !req
199. Guess I should've let him win
that last racquetball game.Copy !req
200. Hello, Selina Kyle.Copy !req
201. We're calling to tell you
about exciting new Gotham Lady perfume.Copy !req
202. It makes women feel like women
and the men have no complaints, either.Copy !req
203. Hey, Selina.Copy !req
204. This is yourself calling to remind you, honey...Copy !req
205. that you have to come
all the way back to the office...Copy !req
206. You stupid corn dog!Copy !req
207. unless you remembered
to bring home the Bruce Wayne file.Copy !req
208. Because the meeting's on Wednesday.Copy !req
209. Working late?Copy !req
210. Um...Copy !req
211. I'm just boning up
for your Bruce Wayne meeting in the morning.Copy !req
212. I pulled all of the files
on the proposed power plant...Copy !req
213. and Mr. Wayne's hope-for investment.Copy !req
214. And I even opened the protected files and...Copy !req
215. How industrious.Copy !req
216. How did you open protected files...Copy !req
217. may I ask?Copy !req
218. Um, well...Copy !req
219. I figured your password was "Heraldo,"
your chihuahua, and it was.Copy !req
220. Um, this is all very interesting,
though a bit on the technical side.Copy !req
221. I mean, about how the power plant is
a power plant in name only...Copy !req
222. since, in fact, it's gonna be a big, giant...Copy !req
223. capacitor.Copy !req
224. And that, instead of generating power,
it'll sort of be sucking power from...Copy !req
225. um, Gotham City and storing it...Copy !req
226. stockpiling it.Copy !req
227. Which is a very novel approach, I'd say.Copy !req
228. And who would you say this to?Copy !req
229. Um...Copy !req
230. Nobody.Copy !req
231. What did curiosity do to the cat?Copy !req
232. I'm no cat.Copy !req
233. I'm just an assistant.Copy !req
234. A secretary.Copy !req
235. And a very good one.Copy !req
236. Too good?Copy !req
237. Listen, it's our secret. Honest.Copy !req
238. How can you be so mean
to someone so meaningless?Copy !req
239. This power plant...Copy !req
240. is my legacy. It's what I leave behind...Copy !req
241. for Chip.Copy !req
242. Nothing must prevent that.Copy !req
243. Okay.Copy !req
244. Go ahead. Intimidate me,
bully me, if it makes you feel big.Copy !req
245. I mean, it's not like you can just kill me!Copy !req
246. Actually, it's a lot like that.Copy !req
247. Huh?Copy !req
248. Huh?Copy !req
249. You know, for a second there,
you really frightened me.Copy !req
250. Really?Copy !req
251. Honey, I'm home.Copy !req
252. I forgot. I'm not married.Copy !req
253. Selina, this is your mother. Call me.Copy !req
254. Selina, this is your mother.
Why haven't you called me back?Copy !req
255. Hello, Selina Kyle.Copy !req
256. We're just calling to make sure
you've tried Gotham Lady perfume.Copy !req
257. One whiff of this at the office
and your boss will ask you to stay after work...Copy !req
258. for a candlelight staff meeting for two.Copy !req
259. Gotham Lady perfume.
Exclusively at Shreck's department store.Copy !req
260. I don't know about you, Miss Kitty, but I feel...Copy !req
261. so much yummier.Copy !req
262. Well, ladies and gentlemen...Copy !req
263. I stand before you once again...Copy !req
264. to denounce the urban chaos
we seem to have to live with in our great city.Copy !req
265. It's got to stop.Copy !req
266. And it's going to stop.
Our community is coming apart...Copy !req
267. in a season when it should be coming together.Copy !req
268. I don't care what the cynics may say.
This is the Christmas season.Copy !req
269. It should be a time of healing.Copy !req
270. And I tell you that, not only as an official...Copy !req
271. but as a husband and a father.Copy !req
272. Last night's violence will not happen again.Copy !req
273. I'm not really one for speeches,
so I'll just say, "Thanks."Copy !req
274. No! It's the hideous Penguin Man.Copy !req
275. Here, take the baby. Just don't hurt me, please.Copy !req
276. This was the remarkable scene
only minutes ago in Gotham Plaza.Copy !req
277. The mysterious Penguin saving the life
of the mayor's baby and...Copy !req
278. - announcing his presence to the world.
- All I want in return...Copy !req
279. is a chance to find my mom and dad.Copy !req
280. A chance to find out who they are...Copy !req
281. and thusly, who I am.Copy !req
282. And then, with my parents...Copy !req
283. try to understand why.Copy !req
284. Why they did what I guess
they felt they had to do...Copy !req
285. to a child who was born...Copy !req
286. a little different.Copy !req
287. A child who spent his first Christmas...Copy !req
288. and many since...Copy !req
289. in a sewer.Copy !req
290. Mr. Wayne? Is something wrong?Copy !req
291. No.Copy !req
292. His parents.Copy !req
293. Again, this scene, direct from Gotham Plaza...Copy !req
294. where we have just witnessed...Copy !req
295. I hope he finds them.Copy !req
296. Here he is, standing alongside
Gotham's leading citizen, Max Shreck.Copy !req
297. How about a statement?
People want to know.Copy !req
298. - Penguin's not to be disturbed.
- This is a public place.Copy !req
299. - Take a walk. Move!
- You're violating the First Amendment.Copy !req
300. - Breaching the freedom of the press!
- Wait a minute.Copy !req
301. What about the freedom
to rediscover your roots...Copy !req
302. with dignity and privacy?Copy !req
303. What's the deal, Mr. Shreck?
Is the Penguin a personal friend?Copy !req
304. Yes, he's a personal friend of this whole city,
so have a heart.Copy !req
305. Give the Constitution a rest, okay?
It's Christmas.Copy !req
306. "Red Triangle Circus put on
a swell show with fierce lions.Copy !req
307. "Circus return for two-week...Copy !req
308. "Kids will love..."Copy !req
309. Thanks.Copy !req
310. - It's cold!
- It's vichyssoise, sir.Copy !req
311. It's supposed to be cold.Copy !req
312. "Circus is back with a freak show.
May not be suitable for kids.Copy !req
313. "Featuring a poodle lady...Copy !req
314. "the world's fattest man...Copy !req
315. "and aquatic bird-boy."Copy !req
316. Why are you now determined to prove...Copy !req
317. that this Penguin is not what he seems?Copy !req
318. Must you be
the only lonely man-beast in town?Copy !req
319. "The circus folded its tents yesterday...Copy !req
320. "perhaps forever, after numerous reports
of missing children in several towns.Copy !req
321. "Police have closed down
the Red Triangle's fairgrounds.Copy !req
322. "However, at least
one freak-show performer vanished before...Copy !req
323. "he could be questioned."Copy !req
324. I suppose you feel better now, sir.Copy !req
325. No.Copy !req
326. Actually, I feel worse.Copy !req
327. Why are you still out?Copy !req
328. Are you concerned about
that strange, heroic Penguin person?Copy !req
329. I think he knows who his parents are.Copy !req
330. There's something else.Copy !req
331. Penguin!Copy !req
332. Can we get a statement from you?Copy !req
333. So, Mr. Penguin...Copy !req
334. A penguin is a bird that cannot fly.Copy !req
335. I am a man.Copy !req
336. I have a name.Copy !req
337. Oswald Cobblepot!Copy !req
338. Mr. Cobblepot, you'll never get a chance
to settle up with them?Copy !req
339. True.Copy !req
340. I was their number one son...Copy !req
341. and they treated me like number two.Copy !req
342. But it's human nature to fear...Copy !req
343. the unusual.Copy !req
344. Perhaps when I held...Copy !req
345. my Tiffany baby rattle...Copy !req
346. with a shiny flipper...Copy !req
347. instead of five chubby digits...Copy !req
348. they freaked.Copy !req
349. But I forgive them.Copy !req
350. "You don't need hands
as long as you've got heart."Copy !req
351. "My heart is filled with love. I feel 5 feet tall."Copy !req
352. - He's like a frog that became a prince.
- No, he's more like a penguin.Copy !req
353. Now, pretty little thing.Copy !req
354. Nice and easy.Copy !req
355. I just love a big, strong man
who's not afraid to show it...Copy !req
356. with someone half his size.Copy !req
357. Be gentle, it's my first time.Copy !req
358. Tic-tac-toe.Copy !req
359. Thanks. I...Copy !req
360. You make it so easy, don't you?Copy !req
361. Always waiting for some Batman to save you.Copy !req
362. I am Catwoman.Copy !req
363. Hear me roar.Copy !req
364. I'd offer you coffee,
but my assistant is using her vacation time.Copy !req
365. Good time, too.Copy !req
366. Everyone but the bandits will be slacking off
till after New Year, anyway.Copy !req
367. - I'm not sure I like the inference, Bruce.
- Sorry, Max. Didn't realize I made one.Copy !req
368. I'm pushing this power plant now
because it'll cost more later.Copy !req
369. A million saved is a million earned.Copy !req
370. I commissioned this report.
I thought you might want to take a look at it.Copy !req
371. The point is, Max, Gotham City has
a power surplus. I'm sure you know that.Copy !req
372. My question is...Copy !req
373. what's your angle?Copy !req
374. Power surplus? Bruce, shame on you.Copy !req
375. No such thing.
One can never have too much power.Copy !req
376. If my life has a meaning, that's the meaning.Copy !req
377. Yeah, well, I'm gonna fight you on this.
I've already spoken to the mayor...Copy !req
378. - and we see eye to eye.
- Mayors come and go.Copy !req
379. Blue bloods tire easy.Copy !req
380. You think you could go 15 rounds
with Muhammad Shreck?Copy !req
381. Well, I guess we're gonna find out.Copy !req
382. Of course, I don't have a crime boss
like Cobblepot in my corner, so...Copy !req
383. Crime boss? Shows what you know...Copy !req
384. Mr. To-the-manor-born-with-a-silver-spoon.Copy !req
385. Oswald is Gotham's new golden boy.Copy !req
386. If his parents hadn't 86'd him...Copy !req
387. you two might have been bunkies
at prep school.Copy !req
388. Oswald controls the Red Triangle Gang.Copy !req
389. I can't prove it yet, but we both...Copy !req
390. Wayne, I'll not stand
for mudslinging in this office.Copy !req
391. If my assistant was here,
she already would have escorted you out...Copy !req
392. Anywhere he wants.Copy !req
393. Preferably some nightspot, grotto...Copy !req
394. or secluded hideaway.Copy !req
395. - Nice suit.
- Thanks.Copy !req
396. Selina.Copy !req
397. Selina. Selina.Copy !req
398. That's my name, Maximillions.Copy !req
399. Don't wear it out,
or I'll make you buy me a new one.Copy !req
400. Selina...Copy !req
401. This is Bruce Wayne.Copy !req
402. - Yeah, we've met.
- Have we?Copy !req
403. Oh, I'm sorry. You know what?
I mistook me for somebody else. Sorry.Copy !req
404. You mean, mistook me.Copy !req
405. I mistook... Yeah. Isn't that what I said?Copy !req
406. No, I don't think so.Copy !req
407. What happened?Copy !req
408. Did you injure yourself on that ski slope?Copy !req
409. Is that why you cut short your vacation?
Came back?Copy !req
410. It's a blur.Copy !req
411. I mean, not complete amnesia. I remember
Sister Mary Margaret puking in church...Copy !req
412. and Betsy Riley saying
it was morning sickness.Copy !req
413. And I remember the time
I forgot to wear my underpants to school...Copy !req
414. and the name of the boy
who noticed was Ricky Friedburg.Copy !req
415. He's dead now.Copy !req
416. But last night, complete blur.Copy !req
417. Couldn't you just die?Copy !req
418. Selina, please...Copy !req
419. show out Mr. Wayne.Copy !req
420. With pleasure.Copy !req
421. Um, your coat, Mr. Wayne.Copy !req
422. Oh. Right.Copy !req
423. You don't seem like the type
who does business with Mr. Shreck.Copy !req
424. No, you don't seem like the type
that takes orders from him.Copy !req
425. Well, that's a long story.Copy !req
426. I could free up some time.Copy !req
427. - I'm listed.
- I'm tempted.Copy !req
428. I'm working.Copy !req
429. I'm leaving.Copy !req
430. - Dad, you buy that blurry business?
- Women.Copy !req
431. Nothing surprises me, Chip.Copy !req
432. Except your late mother.Copy !req
433. Who'd have thought
Selina had a brain to damage?Copy !req
434. Bottom line?Copy !req
435. She tries to blackmail me,
I'll drop her out a higher window.Copy !req
436. Meantime, I've got badder fish to fry.Copy !req
437. Oswald, it's Max.Copy !req
438. You're home?Copy !req
439. How've you been?Copy !req
440. Your extended family?Copy !req
441. Good to have a family.Copy !req
442. I'd much rather not be disturbed now.Copy !req
443. Come on downstairs, Oswald. I have a surprise.Copy !req
444. I don't like surprises.Copy !req
445. Come on down.Copy !req
446. Don't peek.Copy !req
447. You'll spoil it.Copy !req
448. Ta-da!Copy !req
449. Yes. Adulation is a cross to bear.
God knows I know.Copy !req
450. But someone's got to supplant
our standing-in-the-way-of-progress mayor.Copy !req
451. And don't deny it, Mr. Cobblepot,
you've got the magic.Copy !req
452. Your charisma's bigger than both of us.
Come on down.Copy !req
453. Mayor?Copy !req
454. Mayor.Copy !req
455. Max, elections happen in November.
Is this not late December?Copy !req
456. Don't worry about it.Copy !req
457. I want you to meet Jen and Josh,
my image consultants.Copy !req
458. Here.Copy !req
459. Reclaim your birthright.Copy !req
460. I'm Jen. Hi.Copy !req
461. Okay, let's see.Copy !req
462. What I'd like to do first is to put
these little glove thingies on you.Copy !req
463. Our research tells us that voters like fingers.Copy !req
464. So if we wanna just lose this...Copy !req
465. We'll do it another time then, okay?Copy !req
466. Not a lot of reflective surfaces
down in the sewer, huh?Copy !req
467. Still, could be worse.
My nose could be gushing blood.Copy !req
468. Your nose could be...
What do you mean by that?Copy !req
469. Oh, God!Copy !req
470. Everybody, back to work!Copy !req
471. Let's make a mayor!Copy !req
472. You're right, we missed
the regularly scheduled election...Copy !req
473. but elected officials can be recalled,
impeached...Copy !req
474. given the boot. Look at Nixon. Agnew.Copy !req
475. Then think of you...Copy !req
476. Oswald Cobblepot, filling the void.Copy !req
477. I'd like to fill her void.Copy !req
478. We're gonna need signatures
to overturn the ballot. I can supply those.Copy !req
479. - Teach her my French flipper trick.
- Oswald, we need one more thing.Copy !req
480. A platform?Copy !req
481. Stop global warming. Start global cooling.
Make the world a giant icebox.Copy !req
482. I like it. But to get the mayor recalled,
we have to have a catalyst, a trigger.Copy !req
483. You're doing great, Mayor Cobblepot.Copy !req
484. Your table is ready, Mayor Cobblepot.Copy !req
485. I need you, Oswald. I need you now.Copy !req
486. That's the biggest parasol I've ever seen.Copy !req
487. Soon. One incident like the Gulf of Tonkin
or the Reichstag fire.Copy !req
488. You want my old friends up there...Copy !req
489. to drive the mayor into a foaming frenzy?Copy !req
490. - Exactly.
- Sounds fun.Copy !req
491. But...Copy !req
492. I mustn't get sidetracked, Maxie.Copy !req
493. I've got my own things to tend to.Copy !req
494. Sidetracked? Oswald, this is your chance
to fulfill a destiny...Copy !req
495. your parents carelessly discarded.Copy !req
496. Reclaim my birthright, you mean?Copy !req
497. Imagine, as mayor,
you'd have the ear of the media...Copy !req
498. access to captains of industry...Copy !req
499. unlimited poontang.Copy !req
500. You drive a hard bargain, Maxie.Copy !req
501. All right, I'll be mayor.Copy !req
502. Burn, baby, burn!Copy !req
503. - Who is she?
- What is she?Copy !req
504. I don't know whether to open fire or fall in love.Copy !req
505. You poor guys.Copy !req
506. Always confusing your pistols
with your privates.Copy !req
507. Don't hurt us, lady.
Our take-home's less than 300.Copy !req
508. You're overpaid. Hit the road.Copy !req
509. Yeah. Go ahead and hit me.Copy !req
510. Admiring your handiwork?Copy !req
511. Touring the riot scene.Copy !req
512. Gravely assessing the devastation.Copy !req
513. Upstanding mayor stuff.Copy !req
514. You're not the mayor.Copy !req
515. Things change.Copy !req
516. What do you want?Copy !req
517. Ah. The direct approach.
I admire that in a man with a mask.Copy !req
518. You don't really think you'll win, do you?Copy !req
519. Things change.Copy !req
520. Meow.Copy !req
521. I saw her first. Gotta fly.Copy !req
522. How could you? I'm a woman.Copy !req
523. I'm sorry. I...Copy !req
524. As I was saying, I'm a woman
and can't be taken for granted.Copy !req
525. Life's a bitch, now so am I.Copy !req
526. Who are you?
Who's the man behind the bat?Copy !req
527. Maybe you can help me find...Copy !req
528. the woman behind the cat.Copy !req
529. No, that's not you.Copy !req
530. Ahh.Copy !req
531. There you are.Copy !req
532. Saved by Kitty Litter.Copy !req
533. Bastard!Copy !req
534. Alfred...Copy !req
535. bring me some antiseptic ointment,
would you?Copy !req
536. Coming. Are you in pain, sir?Copy !req
537. No. Not really.Copy !req
538. Meow.Copy !req
539. Thank you.Copy !req
540. I may have saved the mayor's baby...Copy !req
541. but I refuse to save a mayor...Copy !req
542. who stood by, helpless as a baby...Copy !req
543. while Gotham was ravaged by a disease...Copy !req
544. that turned Eagle Scouts into crazed clowns...Copy !req
545. and happy homemakers into catwomen.Copy !req
546. Thank you.Copy !req
547. Oswald Cobblepot, the mystery man-beast
who's been romancing Gotham...Copy !req
548. today made his bid to run Gotham.Copy !req
549. Thank you.Copy !req
550. Mr. Cobblepot, you are the coolest role model
a young person could have.Copy !req
551. And you're the hottest young person
a role model could have.Copy !req
552. Here.Copy !req
553. Wear a button.Copy !req
554. Let me just get it on there.Copy !req
555. Thank you.Copy !req
556. Thank you.Copy !req
557. I could really get into this mayor stuff.Copy !req
558. It's not about power,
it's about reaching out to people...Copy !req
559. touching people, groping people.Copy !req
560. - Penguin...
- My name's not Penguin!Copy !req
561. It's Oswald Cobblepot.Copy !req
562. Oswald, there's somebody here to see you.Copy !req
563. Ooh.Copy !req
564. Just the pussy I've been looking for.Copy !req
565. It's chilly in here.Copy !req
566. - I'll warm you.
- Down, Oswald.Copy !req
567. We need to talk.Copy !req
568. You see, you and I have something in common.Copy !req
569. Sounds familiar.Copy !req
570. Appetite for destruction?Copy !req
571. Contempt for the czars of fashion?Copy !req
572. Wait, don't tell me.Copy !req
573. Naked sexual charisma?Copy !req
574. Batman.Copy !req
575. The thorn in both our sides.Copy !req
576. The fly in our ointment.Copy !req
577. Ointment?Copy !req
578. I've got scented or unscented.Copy !req
579. I'll come back later.Copy !req
580. Perchance, are you a registered voter?
I am a mayoral prospect.Copy !req
581. I have but one pet cause today.Copy !req
582. Ban the bat.Copy !req
583. Oh, him again. No bother.
He's already history. Check it out.Copy !req
584. We're gonna disassemble his Batmobile
and turn it into an H-bomb on wheels.Copy !req
585. No. No.Copy !req
586. He'd have even more power as a martyr.Copy !req
587. To destroy Batman, we must first turn him
into what he hates the most.Copy !req
588. Namely, us.Copy !req
589. You mean, frame him?Copy !req
590. Not even in office yet
and already an enemies list, hm?Copy !req
591. Those names are not for prying eyes.Copy !req
592. Why should I trust some cat-broad, anyway?Copy !req
593. Maybe you're just a screwed-up sorority chick
who's getting back at her daddy...Copy !req
594. for not buying her that pony
when she turned sweet 16.Copy !req
595. Nice birdie.Copy !req
596. Mmm. Mmm.Copy !req
597. Nice kitty.Copy !req
598. - Mm-mmm.
- Nice kitty.Copy !req
599. Nice kitty.Copy !req
600. Look, Batman napalmed my arm.Copy !req
601. He knocked me off a building just when
I was starting to feel good about myself.Copy !req
602. I want to play an integral part
in his degradation.Copy !req
603. A plan is forming.Copy !req
604. I want in.Copy !req
605. The thought of busting Batman
makes me feel all...Copy !req
606. dirty.Copy !req
607. Maybe I'll just give myself a bath right here.Copy !req
608. I challenge the mayor...Copy !req
609. to relight the Christmas tree
in Gotham Plaza tomorrow night.Copy !req
610. Sir, shall we change the channel
to a program with some dignity and class?Copy !req
611. The Love Connection perhaps?Copy !req
612. Not that I have any faith in the mayor.Copy !req
613. But I hope and pray that Batman...Copy !req
614. will be present to preserve the peace.
Thank you very much.Copy !req
615. Subtle.Copy !req
616. Why are you doing this?Copy !req
617. - Selina?
- Huh?Copy !req
618. Hi. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.Copy !req
619. Scare me? No.
I was just scaring myself, actually.Copy !req
620. I don't see how, but...Copy !req
621. It's nice to see you out in the real world,
away from Shreck.Copy !req
622. Well, it's nice to be here.Copy !req
623. - You all right?
- Hm? Mm-hm.Copy !req
624. You look like maybe you have
the holiday blues or something.Copy !req
625. No.Copy !req
626. Boy, the news these days. Weird.Copy !req
627. I heard on TV that...Copy !req
628. Catwoman is thought to weigh 140 pounds.Copy !req
629. I don't know how these hacks sleep at night.Copy !req
630. It's not even accurate. "Batman blows it"?Copy !req
631. He probably saved millions of dollars
in property damage alone.Copy !req
632. You're not going to that, are you?
The relighting of the tree thing?Copy !req
633. No. I wouldn't be caught dead there.Copy !req
634. It's gonna be a hot time
on the cold town tonight.Copy !req
635. You got kind of a dark side, don't you?Copy !req
636. No darker than yours, Bruce.Copy !req
637. Listen, why don't you come over
and we can watch it together on TV?Copy !req
638. - What?
- The tree-lighting ceremony.Copy !req
639. I can't. I have to be somewhere tonight.Copy !req
640. How about if you come over
for an early dinner. Let's say 5?Copy !req
641. Let's say 6?Copy !req
642. Okay, 5.Copy !req
643. Five. You and me. Okay?Copy !req
644. The tree lights up, and then I push the button.Copy !req
645. No, wait.Copy !req
646. I press the button, and then the tree lights up.Copy !req
647. - Who are you?
- Talent scout.Copy !req
648. Come in.Copy !req
649. You know, I don't just light trees.
I'm an actress, as well.Copy !req
650. Ooh.Copy !req
651. What is that thing?
A camera or something?Copy !req
652. Say cheese.Copy !req
653. Cheese.Copy !req
654. Thanks, Alfred.Copy !req
655. I'm sure he's wonderful company...Copy !req
656. but doesn't the gold-plated bachelor bit
get a little stale?Copy !req
657. A lot like the lonely secretary syndrome,
I guess.Copy !req
658. - Executive assistant.
- Sorry.Copy !req
659. Secretary.Copy !req
660. Any girlfriend?Copy !req
661. Sure.Copy !req
662. You mean, as in serious?Copy !req
663. Uh, no. Had one, didn't work.Copy !req
664. What went wrong? Hang on, I think I know.Copy !req
665. - You kept things from her.
- No, I told her everything.Copy !req
666. And the truth frightened her?Copy !req
667. There are two truths, you know?Copy !req
668. She had trouble reconciling them,
because I had trouble...Copy !req
669. reconciling them.Copy !req
670. Yeah.Copy !req
671. - See, Vicki thought...
- Vicki?Copy !req
672. Ice skater or stewardess?Copy !req
673. No, she was a photojournalist.Copy !req
674. Well, was Vicki right
about your difficulty with duality?Copy !req
675. See...Copy !req
676. If I say yes, then...Copy !req
677. you're gonna think of me as...Copy !req
678. a Norman Bates, Ted Bundy type and...Copy !req
679. Well, you might not let me kiss you.Copy !req
680. It's the so-called normal guys
who always let you down.Copy !req
681. Sickos never scare me.
At least they're committed.Copy !req
682. Well, yeah.Copy !req
683. - You can't do that.
- Neither can I.Copy !req
684. The Ice Princess has been
kidnapped. Commissioner Gordon...Copy !req
685. can you confirm for us
the reports we're hearing...Copy !req
686. of Batman's suspected involvement
in the abduction?Copy !req
687. This evidence is purely circumstantial.Copy !req
688. This was found, stained with blood,
in the missing girl's dressing room.Copy !req
689. - I gotta get out of here.
- No, it's your house.Copy !req
690. Hold on. Just sit for a second and relax.
I'll be right back.Copy !req
691. - Alfred, I've got to get down to the plaza.
- I saw it.Copy !req
692. I know. He's practically begging me to show.Copy !req
693. Which is why I hoped you'd snub him.Copy !req
694. No, I can't. There's been a kidnapping.
Here's what I want you to do.Copy !req
695. Shit!Copy !req
696. Tell Selina, you know, Miss Kyle in there,
tell her I had to go out of town.Copy !req
697. Tell her there's a big business deal
that came up. No, you know what?Copy !req
698. Let her know, not in some kind of dumb,
be-my-girlfriend kind of way...Copy !req
699. - I will relay the message.
- Great.Copy !req
700. - Miss Kyle...
- Alfred.Copy !req
701. - Mr. Wayne told me to tell you that...
- Mr. Wayne?Copy !req
702. Bruce, yes.Copy !req
703. Um, would you tell him for me that...Copy !req
704. I've been going through a lot of changes and...Copy !req
705. No. Just that...Copy !req
706. this is not a rejection, my abruptly leaving.Copy !req
707. In fact, he makes me feel the way...Copy !req
708. I hope I really am.Copy !req
709. No.Copy !req
710. Could you just make up a sonnet
or something, a dirty limerick?Copy !req
711. - One has just sprung to mind.
- Thanks.Copy !req
712. - This way, ma'am.
- Sorry.Copy !req
713. Where is that?Copy !req
714. Ladies and gentlemen.Copy !req
715. Please, if I could have your attention
for just a minute.Copy !req
716. Folks, I know that to many of you...Copy !req
717. Gotham seems a bit beleaguered these days.Copy !req
718. But I want you to know
that your elected officials...Copy !req
719. and your police department have
the situation well in hand.Copy !req
720. - Gotta hurry.
- Thank you.Copy !req
721. - It was set up to look like I did this.
- No sweat. I'll just tell the police...Copy !req
722. I was kidnapped by an ugly birdman
with fish breath.Copy !req
723. Did somebody say "fish"?Copy !req
724. I haven't been fed all day.Copy !req
725. Eat floor.Copy !req
726. High fiber.Copy !req
727. Hey, stud...Copy !req
728. - I thought we had something together.
- We do.Copy !req
729. Gotta go. Girl talk.Copy !req
730. She let me go. I think
because I reasoned with her, girl to girl.Copy !req
731. Be careful. Don't move.Copy !req
732. Lawn dart!Copy !req
733. Rats with wings, do your thing.Copy !req
734. Batman pushed the Princess!Copy !req
735. Hold your fire!Copy !req
736. Hold your fire!Copy !req
737. You're catnip to a girl like me.Copy !req
738. Handsome, dazed...Copy !req
739. and to die for.Copy !req
740. Mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it.Copy !req
741. But a kiss can be even deadlier
if you mean it.Copy !req
742. You're the second man
who killed me this week.Copy !req
743. But I've got seven lives left.Copy !req
744. I tried to save you...Copy !req
745. Seems like every woman
you try to save ends up dead.Copy !req
746. Or deeply resentful.Copy !req
747. Maybe you should retire.Copy !req
748. Damn.Copy !req
749. Outstanding.Copy !req
750. You're Beauty and the Beast...Copy !req
751. in one luscious Christmas gift pack.Copy !req
752. You said you were going to scare
the Ice Princess.Copy !req
753. She looked pretty scared to me.Copy !req
754. Touch of the bubbly?Copy !req
755. So, what are we waiting for?Copy !req
756. Let's consummate our fiendish union.Copy !req
757. What are you talking about?Copy !req
758. Oh, come on. Can't you picture?Copy !req
759. It's dark in the mayor's mansion.Copy !req
760. I'm bushed,
so here you come into the bedroom...Copy !req
761. twitching your little tail...Copy !req
762. my slippers in one hand,
a dry martini in the other.Copy !req
763. Oh, please.Copy !req
764. I wouldn't touch you to scratch you.Copy !req
765. You lousy minx! I ought to have you spayed!Copy !req
766. You sent out all the signals!Copy !req
767. And I don't think I like you anymore!Copy !req
768. Goodbye, my unintended. Go to heaven.Copy !req
769. Thank you.Copy !req
770. There he is!Copy !req
771. Don't adjust your sets.Copy !req
772. Welcome to
the Oswald Cobblepot School of Driving.Copy !req
773. Gentlemen, start your screaming.Copy !req
774. Maybe this is a bad time to mention this,
but my license has expired!Copy !req
775. Just relax.Copy !req
776. I'll take care of the squealing,
wretched, pinhead puppets of Gotham!Copy !req
777. You gotta admit, I played this stinking city...Copy !req
778. like a harp from hell!Copy !req
779. Helpless old lady at 12:00 high.Copy !req
780. That's funny.Copy !req
781. Now I'm a little worried.Copy !req
782. So he survived. What's the worry?Copy !req
783. He didn't even lose a limb,
an eyeball, bladder control.Copy !req
784. The point is, listen to them.
They've lost faith in old symbols.Copy !req
785. They're ready to bond with you,
the icon of the future.Copy !req
786. If it works, don't fix it.Copy !req
787. We'll celebrate tonight
at my annual Max-querade Ball.Copy !req
788. Shreck and Cobblepot...Copy !req
789. the visionary alliance. Come on.Copy !req
790. When it came time...Copy !req
791. to ensure the safety of our fair city...Copy !req
792. did the mayor have a plan?Copy !req
793. No!Copy !req
794. No!Copy !req
795. He relied on a man.Copy !req
796. A Batman.Copy !req
797. A ticking time-bomb of a costumed freak...Copy !req
798. Our prime concern is this ghastly grotesque.Copy !req
799. But let's not forget
about repairing the Batmobile.Copy !req
800. There's security to consider.Copy !req
801. It's not as though we can take it
to any old Joe's body shop, is it, sir?Copy !req
802. Security?Copy !req
803. Who let Vicki Vale into the Batcave?Copy !req
804. I'm sitting there, working, and I turn around
and there she is. "Hi, Vick. Come on in."Copy !req
805. - Ready?
- I think I'll take the stairs.Copy !req
806. You ask me, am I up here for personal glory?Copy !req
807. No.Copy !req
808. I toiled for many years...Copy !req
809. in utter obscurity...Copy !req
810. beneath your boulevards.Copy !req
811. The glory that I yearn to recapture...Copy !req
812. is the glory of Gotham!Copy !req
813. How can this be accomplished?Copy !req
814. I know you're all concerned.Copy !req
815. Hey, just relax.Copy !req
816. I'll take care of the squealing,
wretched, pinhead puppets of Gotham!Copy !req
817. I didn't say that.Copy !req
818. You gotta admit, I played this stinking city...Copy !req
819. like a harp from hell!Copy !req
820. Boo!Copy !req
821. Get out of here!Copy !req
822. Why is there always someone
who brings eggs and tomatoes to a speech?Copy !req
823. There he is!Copy !req
824. My babies.Copy !req
825. Did you miss me?Copy !req
826. Did you miss me?Copy !req
827. Great speech, Oswald.Copy !req
828. My name is not Oswald! It's Penguin!Copy !req
829. I am not a human being!Copy !req
830. I am an animal! Cold-blooded!Copy !req
831. Crank the a.c.!Copy !req
832. Where are my lists? Bring me the names!Copy !req
833. It's time.Copy !req
834. These are the names
of the first-born sons of Gotham City.Copy !req
835. Just like I was.Copy !req
836. And like me, a terrible fate waits for them.Copy !req
837. Tonight, while their parents party...Copy !req
838. they'll be dreaming away...Copy !req
839. in their safe cribs...Copy !req
840. their soft beds...Copy !req
841. and we will snatch them...Copy !req
842. carry them into the sewer...Copy !req
843. and toss them into a deep, dark, watery grave.Copy !req
844. Um, Penguin?Copy !req
845. I mean, killing sleeping children,
isn't that a little, uh...?Copy !req
846. No, it's a lot "uh."Copy !req
847. Mr. Wayne, a reminder.Copy !req
848. Tonight is that loathsome party
hosted by the odious Mr. Shreck.Copy !req
849. May we RSVP in the resoundingly negative?Copy !req
850. Not interested.Copy !req
851. Although...Copy !req
852. Selina Kyle might be there.Copy !req
853. Ingenious costume.Copy !req
854. Let me guess.Copy !req
855. Trust fund goodie-goodie.Copy !req
856. Feeling good, huh?Copy !req
857. Well, you almost made a monster
the mayor of Gotham City.Copy !req
858. I am the light of this city...Copy !req
859. and I am its mean, twisted soul.Copy !req
860. Does it matter who's mayor?Copy !req
861. - It does to me.
- Yawn.Copy !req
862. - Hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
863. I'm sorry about yesterday, but I had...Copy !req
864. a pretty big deal come through.
Fall through, actually.Copy !req
865. It's okay. I had to go home and feed my cat.Copy !req
866. So no hard feelings, then?Copy !req
867. Actually...Copy !req
868. semi-hard, I'd say.Copy !req
869. There's a big, comfy California King
over in Bedding.Copy !req
870. What do you say?Copy !req
871. You mean, take off our costumes?Copy !req
872. I guess I'm tired of wearing masks.Copy !req
873. Me too.Copy !req
874. Let me ask you something.Copy !req
875. Why'd you come tonight?Copy !req
876. - You first.
- To see you.Copy !req
877. That's lovely.Copy !req
878. I really wish I could say the same,
but I came for Max.Copy !req
879. What do you mean? You and...Copy !req
880. Not you and Max.Copy !req
881. Me and Max.Copy !req
882. No. This and Max.Copy !req
883. Don't give me
a killing-Max-won't-solve-anything speech.Copy !req
884. Because it will.Copy !req
885. Aren't you tired
of this sanctimonious robber-baron...Copy !req
886. always coming out on top
when he should be six feet under?Copy !req
887. I'm sure you have a lot of problems
with your boss...Copy !req
888. but who the hell do you think you are?Copy !req
889. I don't know anymore, Bruce.Copy !req
890. A kiss under the mistletoe.Copy !req
891. You know,
mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it.Copy !req
892. But a kiss can be even deadlier...Copy !req
893. if you mean it.Copy !req
894. Oh, my God.Copy !req
895. Does this mean we have to start fighting?Copy !req
896. Let's go outside.Copy !req
897. - Are you okay?
- I'm all right.Copy !req
898. You didn't invite me, so I crashed!Copy !req
899. - What do you want?
- Right now, my troops...Copy !req
900. are fanning out across town...Copy !req
901. for your children! Yes!Copy !req
902. For your first-born sons!Copy !req
903. The ones you left defenseless at home...Copy !req
904. so you could dress up like jerks...Copy !req
905. get juiced and dance...Copy !req
906. badly!Copy !req
907. I've personally come...Copy !req
908. for Gotham's favorite son:Copy !req
909. Mr. Chip Shreck.Copy !req
910. You're coming with me, you great white dope...Copy !req
911. to die way down in the sewer.Copy !req
912. Not Chip. If you have an iota
of human feeling, take me instead.Copy !req
913. I don't. So, no.Copy !req
914. I'm the one you want. Ask yourself.Copy !req
915. Isn't it Max Shreck
who manipulated and betrayed you?Copy !req
916. Isn't it Max, not Chip...Copy !req
917. who you want to see immersed
to his eyeballs in raw sewage?Copy !req
918. Okay, you got a point.Copy !req
919. I'll let the little prince live for now.Copy !req
920. In the duck!Copy !req
921. This is gonna be good...Copy !req
922. to cut down a whole crop
of Gotham's most promising...Copy !req
923. before their prime.Copy !req
924. You ask me, how do I lure them in?Copy !req
925. A little Pied Penguin action.Copy !req
926. And you get to watch them sink...Copy !req
927. into a deep puddle...Copy !req
928. of your industrial byproducts.Copy !req
929. Then you join them.Copy !req
930. Would you hurry up
and get those kids loaded already?Copy !req
931. Right this way, kiddies. Come on.Copy !req
932. Come with me.Copy !req
933. So where are all the children?Copy !req
934. "Batman."Copy !req
935. My dear penguins...Copy !req
936. we stand on a great threshold.Copy !req
937. It's okay to be scared.Copy !req
938. Many of you won't be coming back.Copy !req
939. Thanks to Batman, the time has come...Copy !req
940. to punish all of God's children.Copy !req
941. First-, second-, third-, and fourth-born!Copy !req
942. Why be biased?Copy !req
943. Male and female!Copy !req
944. Hell, the sexes are equal...Copy !req
945. with their erogenous zones blown sky-high!Copy !req
946. Forward march!Copy !req
947. The liberation of Gotham...Copy !req
948. has begun!Copy !req
949. The penguins are moving above ground.Copy !req
950. Penguin army approaching launch destination...Copy !req
951. at Gotham Plaza.Copy !req
952. One minute until ignition.Copy !req
953. They wouldn't put me on a pedestal...Copy !req
954. so I'm laying them on a slab!Copy !req
955. The penguins seem
to be converging on Gotham Plaza.Copy !req
956. Thirty seconds until ignition.Copy !req
957. Estimated casualties after launch:Copy !req
958. 100,000 people.Copy !req
959. The penguins have reached Gotham Square.Copy !req
960. Fifteen seconds to ignition.Copy !req
961. Ready when you are, sir.Copy !req
962. I've got the coordinates.Copy !req
963. Ten, nine, eight, seven...Copy !req
964. - All right. Let's turn them around.
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
965. Something is wrong.Copy !req
966. Something has jammed the signal.Copy !req
967. They seem to be turning around.Copy !req
968. Hey.Copy !req
969. There is also something coming this way.Copy !req
970. Very large. Very fast.Copy !req
971. Who's there?Copy !req
972. I'm homing in on the signal's origin.Copy !req
973. You're just jealous
because I'm a genuine freak...Copy !req
974. and you have to wear a mask!Copy !req
975. You might be right.Copy !req
976. But what it all comes down to is,
who's holding the umbrella?Copy !req
977. My babies!Copy !req
978. I don't know what you want, but I know
I can get it for you with a minimum of fuss.Copy !req
979. Money, jewels...Copy !req
980. a very big ball of string.Copy !req
981. - Your blood, Max.
- My blood?Copy !req
982. I gave at the office.Copy !req
983. A half-pint. I'm talking gallons.Copy !req
984. Let's make a deal.Copy !req
985. Other than my blood, what can I do for you?Copy !req
986. Sorry, Max. A die for a die.Copy !req
987. You're not just saving a life, you're saving...Copy !req
988. Shut up. You're going to jail.Copy !req
989. Don't be naive. The law doesn't apply
to people like him or us.Copy !req
990. Wrong on both counts.Copy !req
991. Why are you doing this?Copy !req
992. Let's just take him to the police.Copy !req
993. Then we can go home...Copy !req
994. together.Copy !req
995. Selina...Copy !req
996. don't you see?Copy !req
997. We're the same.Copy !req
998. We're the same.Copy !req
999. Split, right down the center.Copy !req
1000. Selina, please.Copy !req
1001. Bruce...Copy !req
1002. I would love to live with you in your castle...Copy !req
1003. forever, just like in a fairy tale.Copy !req
1004. I just couldn't live with myself.
So don't pretend this is a happy ending.Copy !req
1005. Selina.Copy !req
1006. Selina Kyle.Copy !req
1007. You're fired.Copy !req
1008. And Bruce Wayne...Copy !req
1009. why are you dressed up like Batman?Copy !req
1010. Because he is Batman, you moron.Copy !req
1011. Was.Copy !req
1012. Don't.Copy !req
1013. You killed me, the Penguin killed me,
Batman killed me.Copy !req
1014. That's three lives down.
You got enough in there to finish me off?Copy !req
1015. One way to find out.Copy !req
1016. Four, five.Copy !req
1017. Still alive!Copy !req
1018. Six, seven.Copy !req
1019. All good girls go to heaven.Copy !req
1020. Two lives left.Copy !req
1021. I think I'll save one for next Christmas.Copy !req
1022. But in the meantime...Copy !req
1023. how about a kiss, Santie Claus?Copy !req
1024. Shit! I picked a cute one.Copy !req
1025. The heat's getting to me.Copy !req
1026. I'll murder you momentarily.Copy !req
1027. But first...Copy !req
1028. I need a cool drink...Copy !req
1029. of ice water.Copy !req
1030. Alfred, stop the car.Copy !req
1031. Well, come what may,
merry Christmas, Mr. Wayne.Copy !req
1032. Merry Christmas, Alfred.Copy !req
1033. "Goodwill toward men."Copy !req
1034. And women.Copy !req