1. Merry Christmas.Copy !req
2. Merry Christmas.Copy !req
3. Penguin sighting! Check it out!
Man or myth?Copy !req
4. What is he? Today's edition.
Another Penguin sighting.Copy !req
5. Another Penguin sighting! Check it out!Copy !req
6. Grotesque penguin-man living in Gotham
sewers. Read all about the latest sighting.Copy !req
7. Could I have your attention, Gotham City?Copy !req
8. It is time for tonight's lighting of the tree.Copy !req
9. How about that?Copy !req
10. Part man, part penguin. All horrifying!Copy !req
11. Find out for only 50 cents. Come on!Copy !req
12. Read about the possible terror
beneath our feet. Check it out, people!Copy !req
13. Read about it! Today's issue.Copy !req
14. Read about the latest sighting
of the penguin creature.Copy !req
15. - Missing link between man and bird.
- My dear boy...Copy !req
16. sometimes it's a diversion
to read such rubbish.Copy !req
17. Most of the time, it's a waste of time.Copy !req
18. Whatever. Today's issue, the Penguin.
Check him out. Man or myth?Copy !req
19. The Globe. Right here. 25 cents.Copy !req
20. Well, here's hoping. Maybe with
a little luck, Gotham will have...Copy !req
21. its first merry Christmas
in a good long while.Copy !req
22. I feel almost vulgar
in this yuletide context...Copy !req
23. mentioning the new power plant.Copy !req
24. But if we're gonna break ground,
when we got to break ground...Copy !req
25. I'll need permits, variances, tax
incentives. That sort of pesky nonsense.Copy !req
26. Power plant?Copy !req
27. Max, all our studies show us
we've got enough power...Copy !req
28. to get us into the middle
of the next century.Copy !req
29. Your analysts are talking growth
at 1 percent per annum.Copy !req
30. That's not growth. That's a mild swelling.Copy !req
31. Imagine a Gotham City...Copy !req
32. of the future, lit up
like a blanket of stars...Copy !req
33. but blinking on and off...Copy !req
34. embarrassingly low on juice.Copy !req
35. Frankly...Copy !req
36. I cringe, Mr. Mayor.Copy !req
37. Sorry, any plans you've got will
have to go to the usual committees...Copy !req
38. through the usual channels.Copy !req
39. I have a suggestion.Copy !req
40. Well...Copy !req
41. actually, really, just more like a question.Copy !req
42. I'm afraid we haven't
properly housebroken Miss Kyle.Copy !req
43. In the plus column, though...Copy !req
44. she makes a hell of a cup of coffee.Copy !req
45. Dad.Copy !req
46. Mr. Mayor. It's time to go down
and bring joy to the masses.Copy !req
47. "Actually, more of a question."Copy !req
48. You stupid corn dog.Copy !req
49. Oh, God. Corn dog.Copy !req
50. All right. Give us some room.Copy !req
51. Wait, let him through, please.Copy !req
52. I have enough signatures from Shreck
employees alone to warrant a recall.Copy !req
53. That's not a threat, just simple numbers.Copy !req
54. Maybe. But you don't have an issue, Max.Copy !req
55. And you sure as hell
don't have a candidate.Copy !req
56. Hello, Mr. Shreck!Copy !req
57. Thank you very much,
ladies and gentlemen.Copy !req
58. From those of us at City Hall
to each and every one of you...Copy !req
59. happy holidays.Copy !req
60. We have with us tonight
a man who really needs no introduction.Copy !req
61. He's given so much to our city.Copy !req
62. Will you welcome, please,
Gotham's own Santa Claus: Max Shreck.Copy !req
63. Pick up those contracts
from Personnel and...Copy !req
64. pick up the dry cleaning, paper towels...Copy !req
65. Oh, darn!Copy !req
66. Forgot my speech.Copy !req
67. Remind me to take it out
on what's-her-name.Copy !req
68. Santa Claus? Afraid not.Copy !req
69. I'm just a poor schmo who got lucky.Copy !req
70. And sue me if I want to give some back.Copy !req
71. I only wish I could hand out more
than just expensive baubles.Copy !req
72. ! wish I could hand out world peace...Copy !req
73. and unconditional love...Copy !req
74. wrapped in a big bow.Copy !req
75. Oh, but you can. Oh, but you will.Copy !req
76. Merry Christmas.Copy !req
77. - Great idea.
- Not mine.Copy !req
78. Let's go!Copy !req
79. What're you waiting for? The signal!Copy !req
80. We want the big guy!
The guy who runs the show!Copy !req
81. - What do you want?
- Not you!Copy !req
82. - Shreck!
- You'll have to go through me.Copy !req
83. - Chip.
- Dad, go! Save yourself!Copy !req
84. Dad, go!Copy !req
85. Shut up!Copy !req
86. You take one step closer,
Mr. Man-bat and...Copy !req
87. You missed.Copy !req
88. Wow.Copy !req
89. The Batman.Copy !req
90. Or is it just Batman?Copy !req
91. Your choice, of course.Copy !req
92. Well, that was very brief.Copy !req
93. Just like all the men in my life.Copy !req
94. I know, what men?Copy !req
95. Then again, there's you.
But you need therapy.Copy !req
96. Thanks for saving the day, Batman.
I'm afraid the Circus Gang is back.Copy !req
97. We'll see.Copy !req
98. They almost made off with
our mover and shaker, Max Shreck, but...Copy !req
99. Where is that insufferable son of a bitch?Copy !req
100. Hi.Copy !req
101. I believe the word you're looking for is...Copy !req
102. Actually, this is all just a bad dream.Copy !req
103. You're at home in bed...Copy !req
104. heavily sedated, resting comfortably...Copy !req
105. dying from the carcinogens
you've personally spewed...Copy !req
106. in a lifetime of profiteering.Copy !req
107. Tragic irony or poetic justice?Copy !req
108. You tell me.Copy !req
109. My God, it's true.Copy !req
110. Penguin Man of the sewer.Copy !req
111. Odd as it may seem, Max...Copy !req
112. you and I have something in common.Copy !req
113. We're both perceived as monsters.Copy !req
114. But somehow...Copy !req
115. you're a well-respected monster...Copy !req
116. and I am, to date, not!Copy !req
117. Frankly, I feel that's a bum rap.
I'm a businessman.Copy !req
118. Tough, yes.Copy !req
119. Shrewd, okay.
But that does not make me a monster.Copy !req
120. Don't embarrass yourself, Max!
I know all about you.Copy !req
121. What you hide, I discover.Copy !req
122. What you put in your toilet...Copy !req
123. I place on my mantle. Get the picture?Copy !req
124. What, is that supposed to hypnotize me?Copy !req
125. No, just give you a splitting headache.Copy !req
126. It's not working.Copy !req
127. You big baby! Just blanks.Copy !req
128. Would I go through all this trouble tonight
just to kill you?Copy !req
129. No, Max.Copy !req
130. I have an entirely other purpose.Copy !req
131. I'm ready, Max.Copy !req
132. I've been down here too long.Copy !req
133. It's time for me to ascend...Copy !req
134. to re-emerge...Copy !req
135. with your help...Copy !req
136. your know-how...Copy !req
137. your savvy.Copy !req
138. I wasn't born in the sewer, you know.Copy !req
139. I come from...Copy !req
140. Like you.Copy !req
141. And, like you, I want some respect!Copy !req
142. A recognition of my basic humanity.Copy !req
143. But most of all...Copy !req
144. I want to find out who I am
by finding my parents...Copy !req
145. learning my human name.Copy !req
146. Simple stuff that the good people
of Gotham take for granted!Copy !req
147. And...Copy !req
148. exactly why am I going to help you?Copy !req
149. Well...Copy !req
150. Let's start.Copy !req
151. What have we here? Let's see.Copy !req
152. A batch of toxic waste...Copy !req
153. from your clean textile plant.Copy !req
154. There's a whole lagoon of this crud
in the back.Copy !req
155. That could have come from anywhere.Copy !req
156. What about the documents that prove you
own half of the firetraps in Gotham City?Copy !req
157. If there were such documents...Copy !req
158. that's not an admission.Copy !req
159. I would have seen to it
they were shredded.Copy !req
160. Good idea.Copy !req
161. A lot of tape and a little patience
make all the difference.Copy !req
162. By the way...Copy !req
163. how's Fred Atkins, your old partner?Copy !req
164. Fred?Copy !req
165. Fred's actually...Copy !req
166. I believe he's on extended vacation.
He's good.Copy !req
167. Good.Copy !req
168. Hiya, Max. Remember me?
I'm Fred's hand!Copy !req
169. You want to greet any other body parts?Copy !req
170. Remember, Max...Copy !req
171. you flush it, I flaunt it.Copy !req
172. You know what, Mr. Penguin, sir?Copy !req
173. I think perhaps...Copy !req
174. I could help orchestrate
a little welcome-home scenario for you.Copy !req
175. Once we're both back home,
perhaps we can help each other out.Copy !req
176. You won't regret this, Mr. Shreck.Copy !req
177. Honey, I'm home!Copy !req
178. I forgot. I'm not married.Copy !req
179. Miss Kitty.Copy !req
180. Back from more sexual escapades
you refuse to share?Copy !req
181. Not that I'd ever pry.Copy !req
182. Drink your dinner.Copy !req
183. What?Copy !req
184. How can anyone be so pathetic?Copy !req
185. Yes, to you I seem pathetic.
But I'm a working girl.Copy !req
186. Gotta pay the rent. Maybe if you were
chipping in instead of stepping out.Copy !req
187. Selina, dear, it's your mother.
Just calling to say hello.Copy !req
188. Yeah, right, but...Copy !req
189. But I'm disappointed
you're not coming home for Christmas.Copy !req
190. I want to discuss just why you insist
on languishing in Gotham City...Copy !req
191. as some lowly secretary.Copy !req
192. Lowly assistant.Copy !req
193. Selina, about that Christmas getaway
we planned...Copy !req
194. I'll be going alone. Dr. Shaw says I need
to be my own person, not an appendage.Copy !req
195. Some appendage!Copy !req
196. The party never stops
on Selina Kyle's answering machine.Copy !req
197. Guess I should've let him win
that last racquetball game.Copy !req
198. Hello, Selina Kyle.Copy !req
199. We're calling to tell you
about exciting new Gotham Lady perfume.Copy !req
200. It makes women feel like women
and the men have no complaints, either.Copy !req
201. Hi, Selina. This is yourself calling
to remind you, honey...Copy !req
202. that you have to come
all the way back to the office...Copy !req
203. You stupid corn dog!Copy !req
204. unless you remembered to bring home
the Bruce Wayne file.Copy !req
205. Because the meeting's on Wednesday.Copy !req
206. Working late?Copy !req
207. I'm just boning up for your Bruce Wayne
meeting in the morning.Copy !req
208. I pulled all of the files
on the proposed power plant...Copy !req
209. and Mr. Wayne's hope for investment.Copy !req
210. And I even opened the protected files and—Copy !req
211. How industrious.Copy !req
212. How did you open protected files...Copy !req
213. may I ask?Copy !req
214. I figured your password was "Heraldo,"
your chihuahua, and it was.Copy !req
215. This is all very interesting,
though a bit on the technical side.Copy !req
216. I mean, about how the power plant
is a power plant in name only...Copy !req
217. since, in fact, it's going to be a big, giant...Copy !req
218. capacitor.Copy !req
219. And that, instead of generating power,
it'll sort of be sucking power from...Copy !req
220. Gotham City and storing it...Copy !req
221. stockpiling it.Copy !req
222. Which is a very novel approach, I'd say.Copy !req
223. And who would you say this to?Copy !req
224. Nobody.Copy !req
225. What did curiosity do to the cat?Copy !req
226. I'm no cat.Copy !req
227. I'm just an assistant.Copy !req
228. A secretary.Copy !req
229. And a very good one.Copy !req
230. Too good?Copy !req
231. Listen, it's our secret. Honest.Copy !req
232. How can you be so mean
to someone so meaningless?Copy !req
233. This power plant...Copy !req
234. is my legacy. It's what I leave behind...Copy !req
235. for Chip.Copy !req
236. Nothing must prevent that.Copy !req
237. Go ahead. Intimidate me,
bully me, if it makes you feel big.Copy !req
238. I mean, it's not like you can just kill me!Copy !req
239. Actually, it's a lot like that.Copy !req
240. You know, for a second there,
you really frightened me.Copy !req
241. Really?Copy !req
242. Honey, I'm home.Copy !req
243. I forgot. I'm not married.Copy !req
244. Selina, this is your mother. Call me.Copy !req
245. Selina, this is your mother.
Why haven't you called me back?Copy !req
246. Hello, Selina Kyle.Copy !req
247. We're just calling to make sure
you've tried Gotham Lady perfume.Copy !req
248. One whiff of this at the office and
your boss will ask you to stay after work...Copy !req
249. for a candlelight staff meeting for two.Copy !req
250. Gotham Lady perfume.
Exclusively at Shreck's department store.Copy !req
251. I don't know about you,
Miss Kitty, but I feel...Copy !req
252. so much yummier.Copy !req
253. Well, ladies and gentlemen...Copy !req
254. I stand before you once again...Copy !req
255. to denounce the urban chaos we seem
to have to live with in our great city.Copy !req
256. It's got to stop.Copy !req
257. And it's going to stop.
Our community is coming apart...Copy !req
258. in a season
when it should be coming together.Copy !req
259. I don't care what the cynics may say.
This is the Christmas season.Copy !req
260. It should be a time of healing.Copy !req
261. And I tell you that, not only as an official...Copy !req
262. but as a husband and a father.Copy !req
263. Last night's violence
will not happen again.Copy !req
264. I'm not really one for speeches,
so I'll just say, "Thanks."Copy !req
265. No! It's the hideous Penguin Man.Copy !req
266. Here, take the baby.
Just don't hurt me, please.Copy !req
267. This was the remarkable scene
only minutes ago in Gotham Plaza.Copy !req
268. The mysterious Penguin saving the life
of the Mayor's baby and...Copy !req
269. - announcing his presence to the world.
- All want in return...Copy !req
270. is a chance to find my mom and dad.Copy !req
271. A chance to find out who they are...Copy !req
272. and thusly, who I am.Copy !req
273. And then, with my parents...Copy !req
274. try to understand why.Copy !req
275. Why they did what I guess
they felt they had to do...Copy !req
276. to a child who was born...Copy !req
277. a little different.Copy !req
278. A child who spent his first Christmas...Copy !req
279. and many since...Copy !req
280. in a sewer.Copy !req
281. Mr. Wayne? Is something wrong?Copy !req
282. No.Copy !req
283. His parents.Copy !req
284. Again, this scene,
direct from Gotham Plaza...Copy !req
285. where we have just witnessed...Copy !req
286. I hope he finds them.Copy !req
287. Here he is, standing alongside
Gotham's leading citizen, Max Shreck.Copy !req
288. How about a statement?
People want to know.Copy !req
289. - Penguin's not to be disturbed.
- This is a public place.Copy !req
290. - Take a walk. Move!
- You're violating the First Amendment.Copy !req
291. - Breaching the freedom of the press!
- Wait a minute.Copy !req
292. What about the freedom
to rediscover your roots...Copy !req
293. with dignity and privacy?Copy !req
294. What's the deal, Mr. Shreck?
Is the Penguin a personal friend?Copy !req
295. Yes, he's a personal friend
of this whole city, so have a heart.Copy !req
296. Give the Constitution a rest, okay?
It's Christmas.Copy !req
297. "Red Triangle Circus put on a swell show
with fierce lions.Copy !req
298. "Circus return for two-week...Copy !req
299. "Kids will love..."Copy !req
300. Thanks.Copy !req
301. - It's cold!
- It's vichyssoise, sir.Copy !req
302. It's supposed to be cold.Copy !req
303. "Circus is back with a freak show.
May not be suitable for kids.Copy !req
304. "Featuring a poodle lady...Copy !req
305. "the world's fattest man...Copy !req
306. "and aquatic bird-boy."Copy !req
307. Why are you now determined to prove...Copy !req
308. that this Penguin is not what he seems?Copy !req
309. Must you be
the only lonely man-beast in town?Copy !req
310. "The circus folded its tents yesterday...Copy !req
311. "perhaps forever, after numerous reports
of missing children in several towns.Copy !req
312. "Police have closed down
the Red Triangle's fairgrounds.Copy !req
313. "However, at least one
freak-show performer vanished before...Copy !req
314. "he could be questioned.”Copy !req
315. I suppose you feel better now, sir.Copy !req
316. No.Copy !req
317. Actually, I feel worse.Copy !req
318. Why're you still out?Copy !req
319. Are you concerned about that strange,
heroic Penguin person?Copy !req
320. I think he knows who his parents are.Copy !req
321. There's something else.Copy !req
322. Penguin!Copy !req
323. Can we get a statement from you?Copy !req
324. So, Mr. Penguin—Copy !req
325. A penguin is a bird that cannot fly.Copy !req
326. I am a man.Copy !req
327. I have a name.Copy !req
328. Oswald Cobblepot!Copy !req
329. Mr. Cobblepot, you'll never get a chance
to settle up with them?Copy !req
330. True.Copy !req
331. I was their number one son...Copy !req
332. and they treated me like number two.Copy !req
333. But it's human nature to fear...Copy !req
334. the unusual.Copy !req
335. Perhaps when I held...Copy !req
336. my Tiffany baby rattle...Copy !req
337. with a shiny flipper...Copy !req
338. instead of five chubby digits...Copy !req
339. they freaked.Copy !req
340. But I forgive them.Copy !req
341. "You don't need hands
as long as you've got heart.Copy !req
342. "My heart is filled with love.
I feel 5 feet tall."Copy !req
343. - He's like a frog that became a prince.
- No, he's more like a penguin.Copy !req
344. Now, pretty little thing.Copy !req
345. Nice and easy.Copy !req
346. I just love a big, strong man
who's not afraid to show it...Copy !req
347. with someone half his size.Copy !req
348. Be gentle, it's my first time.Copy !req
349. Tic-tac-toe.Copy !req
350. Thanks. I-Copy !req
351. You make it so easy, don't you?Copy !req
352. Always waiting for some Batman
to save you.Copy !req
353. I am Catwoman.Copy !req
354. Hear me roar.Copy !req
355. I'd offer you coffee, but my assistant
is using her vacation time.Copy !req
356. Good time too.Copy !req
357. Everyone but the bandits will be
slacking off till after New Year, anyway.Copy !req
358. - I'm not sure I like the inference, Bruce.
- Sorry, Max. I didn't realize I made one.Copy !req
359. I'm pushing this power plant now
because it'll cost more later.Copy !req
360. A million saved is a million earned.Copy !req
361. I commissioned this report. I thought
you might want to take a look at it.Copy !req
362. The point is, Max, Gotham City has
a power surplus. I'm sure you know that.Copy !req
363. My question is...Copy !req
364. what's your angle?Copy !req
365. Power surplus? Bruce, shame on you.Copy !req
366. No such thing.
One can never have too much power.Copy !req
367. If my life has a meaning,
that's the meaning.Copy !req
368. Yeah, well, I'm gonna fight you on this.
I've already spoken to the Mayor...Copy !req
369. - and we see eye to eye.
- Mayors come and go.Copy !req
370. Blue bloods tire easy.Copy !req
371. You think you could go 15 rounds
with Muhammad Shreck?Copy !req
372. Well, I guess we're gonna find out.Copy !req
373. Of course, I don't have a crime boss
like Cobblepot in my corner, so—Copy !req
374. Crime boss? Shows what you know...Copy !req
375. Mr. To-the-manor-born-
with-a-silver-spoon.Copy !req
376. Oswald is Gotham's new golden boy.Copy !req
377. If his parents hadn't 86'd him...Copy !req
378. you two might have been bunkies
at prep school.Copy !req
379. Oswald controls the Red Triangle Gang.
I can't prove it yet, but we both—Copy !req
380. Wayne, I'll not stand for mudslinging
in this office.Copy !req
381. If my assistant was here, she already
would have escorted you out...Copy !req
382. Anywhere he wants.Copy !req
383. Preferably some nightspot, grotto...Copy !req
384. or secluded hideaway.Copy !req
385. - Nice suit.
- Thanks.Copy !req
386. Selina.Copy !req
387. That's my name, Maximillions.Copy !req
388. Don't wear it out,
or I'll make you buy me a new one.Copy !req
389. This is Bruce Wayne.Copy !req
390. - Yeah, we've met.
- Have we?Copy !req
391. Oh, I'm sorry. You know what?
I mistook me for somebody else.Copy !req
392. You mean, mistook me.Copy !req
393. I mistook... Yeah. Isn't that what I said?Copy !req
394. No, I don't think so.Copy !req
395. What happened?Copy !req
396. Did you injure yourself on that ski slope?Copy !req
397. Is that why you cut short your vacation?
Came back?Copy !req
398. It's a blur.Copy !req
399. I mean, not complete amnesia. I remember
Sister Mary Margaret puking in church...Copy !req
400. and Betsy Riley saying
it was morning sickness.Copy !req
401. And I remember the time
I forgot to wear my underpants to school...Copy !req
402. and the name of the boy
who noticed was Ricky Friedburg.Copy !req
403. He's dead now.Copy !req
404. But last night, complete blur.Copy !req
405. Couldn't you just die?Copy !req
406. Selina, please...Copy !req
407. show out Mr. Wayne.Copy !req
408. With pleasure.Copy !req
409. Your coat, Mr. Wayne.Copy !req
410. Right.Copy !req
411. You don't seem like the type
who does business with Mr. Shreck.Copy !req
412. No, you don't seem like the type
that takes orders from him.Copy !req
413. Well, that's a long story.Copy !req
414. I could free up some time.Copy !req
415. - I'm listed.
- I'm tempted.Copy !req
416. I'm working.Copy !req
417. I'm leaving.Copy !req
418. - Dad, you buy that blurry business?
- Women.Copy !req
419. Nothing surprises me, Chip.Copy !req
420. Except your late mother.Copy !req
421. Who'd have thought
Selina had a brain to damage?Copy !req
422. Bottom line?Copy !req
423. She tries to blackmail me,
I'll drop her out a higher window.Copy !req
424. Meantime, I've got badder fish to fry.Copy !req
425. Oswald, it's Max.Copy !req
426. You're home?Copy !req
427. How've you been?Copy !req
428. Your extended family?Copy !req
429. Good to have a family.Copy !req
430. I'd much rather not be disturbed now.Copy !req
431. Come on downstairs, Oswald.
I have a surprise.Copy !req
432. I don't like surprises.Copy !req
433. Come on down.Copy !req
434. Don't peek.Copy !req
435. You'll spoil it.Copy !req
436. Yes. Adulation is a cross to bear.
God knows, I know.Copy !req
437. But someone's got to supplant our
standing-in-the-way-of-progress mayor.Copy !req
438. And don't deny it, Mr. Cobblepot,
you've got the magic.Copy !req
439. Your charisma's bigger than both of us.
Come on down.Copy !req
440. Mayor?Copy !req
441. Mayor.Copy !req
442. Elections happen in November.
Is this not late December?Copy !req
443. Don't worry about it.Copy !req
444. I want you to meet Jen and Josh,
my image consultants.Copy !req
445. Here.Copy !req
446. Reclaim your birthright.Copy !req
447. I'm Jen. Hi.Copy !req
448. Okay, let's see.Copy !req
449. What I'd like to do first
is put these little glove thingies on you.Copy !req
450. Our research tells us
that voters like fingers.Copy !req
451. So if we wanna just lose this...Copy !req
452. We'll do it another time then, okay?Copy !req
453. Not a lot of reflective surfaces
down in the sewer?Copy !req
454. Still, could be worse.
My nose could be gushing blood.Copy !req
455. Your nose could be...
What do you mean by that?Copy !req
456. Oh, God!Copy !req
457. Everybody, back to work!Copy !req
458. Let's make a mayor!Copy !req
459. You're right, we missed
the regularly scheduled election...Copy !req
460. but elected officials can be recalled,
impeached...Copy !req
461. given the boot. Look at Nixon. Agnew.Copy !req
462. Then think of you...Copy !req
463. Oswald Cobblepot, filling the void.Copy !req
464. I'd like to fill her void.Copy !req
465. We're gonna need signatures
to overturn the ballot. I can supply those.Copy !req
466. - Teach her my French flipper trick.
- Oswald, we need one more thing.Copy !req
467. A platform?Copy !req
468. Stop global warming. Start global cooling.
Make the world a giant icebox.Copy !req
469. I like it. But to get the Mayor recalled,
we have to have a catalyst, a trigger.Copy !req
470. You're doing great, Mayor Cobblepot.Copy !req
471. Your table is ready, Mayor Cobblepot.Copy !req
472. I need you, Oswald. I need you now.Copy !req
473. That's the biggest parasol I've ever seen.Copy !req
474. Soon. One incident like the Gulf of Tonkin
or the Reichstag fire.Copy !req
475. You want my old friends up there...Copy !req
476. to drive the Mayor into a foaming frenzy?Copy !req
477. - Exactly.
- Sounds fun.Copy !req
478. But...Copy !req
479. I mustn't get sidetracked, Maxie.Copy !req
480. I've got my own things to tend to.Copy !req
481. Sidetracked? Oswald,
this is your chance to fulfill a destiny...Copy !req
482. your parents carelessly discarded.Copy !req
483. Reclaim my birthright, you mean?Copy !req
484. Imagine, as mayor,
you'd have the ear of the media...Copy !req
485. access to the captains of industry...Copy !req
486. unlimited poontang.Copy !req
487. You drive a hard bargain, Maxie.Copy !req
488. All right, I'll be mayor.Copy !req
489. Burn, baby, burn!Copy !req
490. - Who is she?
- What is she?Copy !req
491. I don't know whether to open fire
or fall in love.Copy !req
492. You poor guys.Copy !req
493. Always confusing your pistols
with your privates.Copy !req
494. Don't hurt us, lady.
Our take-home's less than $300.Copy !req
495. You're overpaid. Hit the road.Copy !req
496. Go ahead and hit me.Copy !req
497. Admiring your handiwork?Copy !req
498. Touring the riot scene.Copy !req
499. Gravely assessing the devastation.Copy !req
500. Upstanding mayor stuff.Copy !req
501. You're not the mayor.Copy !req
502. Things change.Copy !req
503. What do you want?Copy !req
504. The direct approach.
I admire that in a man with a mask.Copy !req
505. You don't really think you'll win, do you?Copy !req
506. Things change.Copy !req
507. Meow.Copy !req
508. I saw her first. Gotta fly.Copy !req
509. How could you? I'm a woman.Copy !req
510. I'm sorry. I-Copy !req
511. As I was saying, I'm a woman
and can't be taken for granted.Copy !req
512. Life's a bitch, now so am ll.Copy !req
513. Who are you?
Who's the man behind the bat?Copy !req
514. Maybe you can help me find...Copy !req
515. the woman behind the cat.Copy !req
516. No, that's not you.Copy !req
517. There you are.Copy !req
518. Saved by Kitty Litter.Copy !req
519. Bastard!Copy !req
520. Alfred...Copy !req
521. bring me some antiseptic ointment,
would you?Copy !req
522. Coming. Are you in pain, Sir?Copy !req
523. No. Not really.Copy !req
524. Meow.Copy !req
525. Thank you.Copy !req
526. I may have saved the Mayor's baby...Copy !req
527. but I refuse to save a mayor...Copy !req
528. who stood by, helpless as a baby...Copy !req
529. while Gotham was ravaged by a disease...Copy !req
530. that turned Eagle Scouts
into crazed clowns...Copy !req
531. and happy homemakers into catwomen.Copy !req
532. Thank you.Copy !req
533. Oswald Cobblepot, the mystery man-beast
who's been romancing Gotham...Copy !req
534. today made his bid to run Gotham.Copy !req
535. Thank you.Copy !req
536. Mr. Cobblepot, you are the coolest
role model a young person could have.Copy !req
537. And you're the hottest young person
a role model could have.Copy !req
538. Here.Copy !req
539. Wear a button.Copy !req
540. Let me just get it on there.Copy !req
541. Thank you.Copy !req
542. I could really get into this mayor stuff.Copy !req
543. It's not about power,
it's about reaching out to people...Copy !req
544. touching people, groping people.Copy !req
545. - Penguin—
- My name's not Penguin!Copy !req
546. It's Oswald Cobblepot.Copy !req
547. Oswald, there's somebody here
to see you.Copy !req
548. Just the pussy I've been looking for.Copy !req
549. It's chilly in here.Copy !req
550. - I'll warm you.
- Down, Oswald.Copy !req
551. We need to talk.Copy !req
552. You see, you and I
have something in common.Copy !req
553. Sounds familiar.Copy !req
554. Appetite for destruction?Copy !req
555. Contempt for the czars of fashion?Copy !req
556. Wait, don't tell me.Copy !req
557. Naked sexual charisma?Copy !req
558. Batman.Copy !req
559. The thorn in both our sides.Copy !req
560. The fly in our ointment.Copy !req
561. Ointment?Copy !req
562. I've got scented or unscented.Copy !req
563. I'll come back later.Copy !req
564. Perchance, are you a registered voter?
I am a mayoral prospect.Copy !req
565. I have but one pet cause today.Copy !req
566. Ban the bat.Copy !req
567. Oh, him again. No bother.
He's already history. Check it out.Copy !req
568. We're gonna disassemble his Batmobile
and turn it into an H-bomb on wheels.Copy !req
569. No.Copy !req
570. He'd have even more power as a martyr.Copy !req
571. To destroy Batman, we must first
turn him into what he hates the most.Copy !req
572. Namely, us.Copy !req
573. You mean, frame him?Copy !req
574. Not even in office yet
and already an enemies list?Copy !req
575. Those names are not for prying eyes.Copy !req
576. Why should I trust
some cat-broad, anyway?Copy !req
577. Maybe you're just a screwed-up sorority
chick who's getting back at her daddy...Copy !req
578. for not buying her that pony
when she turned sweet 16.Copy !req
579. Nice birdie.Copy !req
580. Nice Kitty.Copy !req
581. Look, Batman napalmed my arm.Copy !req
582. He knocked me off a building just when
I was starting to feel good about myself.Copy !req
583. I want to play an integral part
in his degradation.Copy !req
584. A plan is forming.Copy !req
585. I want in.Copy !req
586. The thought of busting Batman
makes me feel all...Copy !req
587. dirty.Copy !req
588. Maybe I'll just give myself a bath
right here.Copy !req
589. I challenge the Mayor...Copy !req
590. to relight the Christmas tree
in Gotham Plaza tomorrow night.Copy !req
591. Sir, shall we change the channel
to a program with some dignity and class?Copy !req
592. The Love Connection perhaps?Copy !req
593. Not that I have any faith in the Mayor.Copy !req
594. But I hope and pray that Batman...Copy !req
595. will be present to preserve the peace.
Thank you very much.Copy !req
596. Subtle.Copy !req
597. Why are you doing this?Copy !req
598. Selina?Copy !req
599. Hi. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.Copy !req
600. Scare me? No.
I was just scaring myself, actually.Copy !req
601. I don't see how, but...Copy !req
602. It's nice to see you out in the real world,
away from Shreck.Copy !req
603. Well, it's nice to be here.Copy !req
604. You all right?Copy !req
605. You look like maybe you have
the holiday blues or something.Copy !req
606. No.Copy !req
607. Boy, the news these days. Weird.Copy !req
608. I heard on TV that...Copy !req
609. Catwoman is thought to weigh
140 pounds.Copy !req
610. I don't know how these hacks
sleep at night.Copy !req
611. It's not even accurate. "Batman blows it"?Copy !req
612. He probably saved millions of dollars
in property damage alone.Copy !req
613. You're not going to that, are you?
The relighting of the tree thing?Copy !req
614. No. I wouldn't be caught dead there.Copy !req
615. It's going to be a hot time
on the cold town tonight.Copy !req
616. You got kind of a dark side, don't you?Copy !req
617. No darker than yours, Bruce.Copy !req
618. Listen, why don't you come over
and we can watch it together on TV?Copy !req
619. - What?
- The tree-lighting ceremony.Copy !req
620. I can't. I have to be somewhere tonight.Copy !req
621. How about if you come over
for an early dinner. Let's say 5:007Copy !req
622. Let's say 6:007Copy !req
623. Okay, 5:00.Copy !req
624. 5:00. You and me. Okay?Copy !req
625. The tree lights up,
and then I push the button.Copy !req
626. No, wait.Copy !req
627. I press the button,
and then the tree lights up.Copy !req
628. - Who are you?
- Talent scout.Copy !req
629. Come in.Copy !req
630. You know, I don't just light trees.
I'm an actress, as well.Copy !req
631. What is that thing?
A camera or something?Copy !req
632. Say cheese.Copy !req
633. Cheese.Copy !req
634. Thanks, Alfred.Copy !req
635. I'm sure he's wonderful company...Copy !req
636. but doesn't the gold-plated bachelor bit
get a little stale?Copy !req
637. A lot like the lonely secretary syndrome,
I guess.Copy !req
638. - Executive assistant.
- Sorry.Copy !req
639. Secretary.Copy !req
640. Any girlfriend?Copy !req
641. Sure.Copy !req
642. You mean, as in serious?Copy !req
643. No. Had one, didn't work.Copy !req
644. What went wrong?
Hang on, I think I know.Copy !req
645. - You kept things from her.
- No, I told her everything.Copy !req
646. And the truth frightened her?Copy !req
647. There are two truths, you know?Copy !req
648. She had trouble reconciling them,
because I had trouble...Copy !req
649. reconciling them.Copy !req
650. - See, Vicki thought—
- Vicki?Copy !req
651. Ice skater or stewardess?Copy !req
652. No, she was a photojournalist.Copy !req
653. Was Vicki right
about your difficulty with duality?Copy !req
654. If I say yes, then...Copy !req
655. you're gonna think of me as...Copy !req
656. a Norman Bates, Ted Bundy type and...Copy !req
657. Well, you might not let me kiss you.Copy !req
658. It's the so-called normal guys
who always let you down.Copy !req
659. Sickos never scare me.
At least they're committed.Copy !req
660. - You can't do that.
- Neither can ll.Copy !req
661. The Ice Princess has been kidnapped.
Commissioner Gordon...Copy !req
662. can you confirm for us
the reports we're hearing...Copy !req
663. of Batman's suspected involvement
in the abduction?Copy !req
664. This evidence is purely circumstantial.Copy !req
665. This was found, stained with blood,
in the missing girl's dressing room.Copy !req
666. - I got to get out of here.
- No, it's your house.Copy !req
667. Hold on. Just sit for a second and relax.
I'll be right back.Copy !req
668. - Alfred, I've got to get down to the plaza.
- I saw it.Copy !req
669. I know.
He's practically begging me to show up.Copy !req
670. Which is why I hoped you'd snub him.Copy !req
671. No, I can't. There's been a kidnapping.
Here's what I want you to do.Copy !req
672. Shit!Copy !req
673. Tell Selina, you know, Miss Kyle in there,
tell her I had to go out of town.Copy !req
674. Tell her there's a big business deal
that came up. No, you know what?Copy !req
675. Let her know, not in some kind of dumb,
be-my-girlfriend kind of way—Copy !req
676. - I will relay the message.
- Great.Copy !req
677. - Miss Kyle...
- Alfred.Copy !req
678. - Mr. Wayne told me to tell you that—
- Mr. Wayne?Copy !req
679. Bruce, yes.Copy !req
680. Would you tell him for me that...Copy !req
681. I've been going through
a lot of changes and...Copy !req
682. No. Just that...Copy !req
683. this is not a rejection, my abruptly leaving.Copy !req
684. In fact, he makes me feel the way...Copy !req
685. I hope I really am.Copy !req
686. No.Copy !req
687. Could you just make up a sonnet
or something, a dirty limerick?Copy !req
688. - One has just sprung to mind.
- Thanks.Copy !req
689. - This way, ma'am.
- Sorry.Copy !req
690. Where is that?Copy !req
691. Ladies and gentlemen.Copy !req
692. Please, if I could have your attention
for just a minute.Copy !req
693. Folks, I know that to many of you...Copy !req
694. Gotham seems a bit beleaguered
these days.Copy !req
695. But I want you to know
that your elected officials...Copy !req
696. and your police department
have the situation well in hand.Copy !req
697. - Gotta hurry.
- Thank you.Copy !req
698. It was set up to look like I did this.Copy !req
699. No sweat. I'll just tell the police...Copy !req
700. I was kidnapped by an ugly birdman
with fish breath.Copy !req
701. Did somebody say "fish"?Copy !req
702. I haven't been fed all day.Copy !req
703. Eat floor.Copy !req
704. High fiber.Copy !req
705. Hey, stud...Copy !req
706. - I thought we had something together.
- We do.Copy !req
707. Gotta go. Girl talk.Copy !req
708. She let me go. I think
because I reasoned with her, girl to girl.Copy !req
709. Be careful. Don't move.Copy !req
710. Lawn dart!Copy !req
711. Rats with wings, do your thing.Copy !req
712. Batman pushed the Princess!Copy !req
713. Hold your fire!Copy !req
714. You're catnip to a girl like me.Copy !req
715. Handsome, dazed...Copy !req
716. and to die for.Copy !req
717. Mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it.Copy !req
718. But a kiss can be even deadlier
if you mean it.Copy !req
719. You're the second man
who killed me this week.Copy !req
720. But I've got seven lives left.Copy !req
721. I tried to save you—Copy !req
722. Seems like every woman you try to save
ends up dead.Copy !req
723. Or deeply resentful.Copy !req
724. Maybe you should retire.Copy !req
725. Damn.Copy !req
726. Outstanding.Copy !req
727. You're Beauty and the Beast...Copy !req
728. in one luscious Christmas gift pack.Copy !req
729. You said you were going to scare
the Ice Princess.Copy !req
730. She looked pretty scared to me.Copy !req
731. Touch of the bubbly?Copy !req
732. So, what are we waiting for?Copy !req
733. Let's consummate our fiendish union.Copy !req
734. What are you talking about?Copy !req
735. Oh, come on. Can't you picture?Copy !req
736. It's dark in the mayor's mansion.Copy !req
737. I'm bushed,
so here you come into the bedroom...Copy !req
738. twitching your little tail...Copy !req
739. my slippers in one hand,
a dry martini in the other.Copy !req
740. Oh, please.Copy !req
741. I wouldn't touch you to scratch you.Copy !req
742. You lousy minx!
I ought to have you spayed!Copy !req
743. You sent out all the signals!Copy !req
744. And I don't think I like you anymore!Copy !req
745. Goodbye, my unintended. Go to heaven.Copy !req
746. Thank you.Copy !req
747. There he is!Copy !req
748. Don't adjust your sets.Copy !req
749. Welcome to
the Oswald Cobblepot School of Driving.Copy !req
750. Gentlemen, start your screaming.Copy !req
751. Maybe this is a bad time to mention this,
but my license has expired!Copy !req
752. Just relax.Copy !req
753. I'll take care of the squealing,
wretched, pinhead puppets of Gotham!Copy !req
754. You got to admit,
I played this stinking city...Copy !req
755. like a harp from hell!Copy !req
756. Helpless old lady at 12:00 high.Copy !req
757. That's funny.Copy !req
758. Now I'm a little worried.Copy !req
759. So he survived. What's the worry?Copy !req
760. He didn't even lose a limb,
an eyeball, bladder control.Copy !req
761. The point is listen to them.
They've lost faith in old symbols.Copy !req
762. They're ready to bond with you,
the icon of the future.Copy !req
763. If it works, don't fix it.Copy !req
764. We'll celebrate tonight
at my annual Max-querade Ball.Copy !req
765. Shreck and Cobblepot...Copy !req
766. the visionary alliance. Come on.Copy !req
767. When it came time...Copy !req
768. to ensure the safety of our fair city...Copy !req
769. did the Mayor have a plan?Copy !req
770. No!Copy !req
771. No!Copy !req
772. He relied on a man.Copy !req
773. A Batman.Copy !req
774. A ticking time-bomb
of a costumed freak...Copy !req
775. Our prime concern
is this ghastly grotesque.Copy !req
776. But let's not forget
about repairing the Batmobile.Copy !req
777. There's security to consider.Copy !req
778. It's not as though we can take it
to any old Joe's body shop, is it, sir?Copy !req
779. Security?Copy !req
780. Who let Vicki Vale into the Batcave?Copy !req
781. I'm sitting there working,
and I turn around...Copy !req
782. and there she is. "Hi, Vick. Come on in."Copy !req
783. - Ready?
- I think I'll take the stairs.Copy !req
784. You ask me
am I up here for personal glory?Copy !req
785. No.Copy !req
786. ! toiled for many years...Copy !req
787. in utter obscurity
beneath your boulevards.Copy !req
788. The glory that I yearn to recapture...Copy !req
789. is the glory of Gotham!Copy !req
790. How can this be accomplished?Copy !req
791. I know you're all concerned.Copy !req
792. Hey, just relax.Copy !req
793. I'll take care of the squealing,
wretched, pinhead puppets of Gotham!Copy !req
794. I didn't say that.Copy !req
795. You got to admit,
I played this stinking city...Copy !req
796. like a harp from hell!Copy !req
797. Get out of here!Copy !req
798. Why is there always someone who
brings eggs and tomatoes to a speech?Copy !req
799. There he is!Copy !req
800. My babies.Copy !req
801. Did you miss me?Copy !req
802. Did you miss me?Copy !req
803. Great speech, Oswald.Copy !req
804. My name is not Oswald! It's Penguin!Copy !req
805. I am not a human being!Copy !req
806. I am an animal! Cold-blooded!Copy !req
807. Crank the AC!Copy !req
808. Where are my lists? Bring me the names!Copy !req
809. It's time.Copy !req
810. These are the names
of the first-born sons of Gotham City.Copy !req
811. Just like I was.Copy !req
812. And like me, a terrible fate waits for them.Copy !req
813. Tonight, while their parents party...Copy !req
814. they'll be dreaming away...Copy !req
815. in their safe cribs...Copy !req
816. their soft beds...Copy !req
817. and we will snatch them...Copy !req
818. carry them into the sewer...Copy !req
819. and toss them
into a deep, dark, watery grave.Copy !req
820. Penguin?Copy !req
821. I mean, killing sleeping children,
isn't that a little...Copy !req
822. No, it's a lot.Copy !req
823. Mr. Wayne, a reminder.Copy !req
824. Tonight is that loathsome party
hosted by the odious Mr. Shreck.Copy !req
825. May we RSVP
in the resoundingly negative?Copy !req
826. Not interested.Copy !req
827. Although...Copy !req
828. Selina Kyle might be there.Copy !req
829. Ingenious costume.Copy !req
830. Let me guess.Copy !req
831. Trust fund goodie-goodie.Copy !req
832. Feeling good?Copy !req
833. Well, you almost made a monster
the mayor of Gotham City.Copy !req
834. I am the light of this city...Copy !req
835. and I am its mean, twisted soul.Copy !req
836. Does it matter who's mayor?Copy !req
837. - It does to me.
- Yawn.Copy !req
838. Hi.Copy !req
839. I'm sorry about yesterday, but I had...Copy !req
840. a pretty big deal come through.
Fall through, actually.Copy !req
841. It's okay.
I had to go home and feed my cat.Copy !req
842. So no hard feelings, then?Copy !req
843. Actually...Copy !req
844. semi-hard, I'd say.Copy !req
845. There's a big, comfy California King
over in Bedding.Copy !req
846. What do you say?Copy !req
847. You mean, take off our costumes?Copy !req
848. I guess I'm tired of wearing masks.Copy !req
849. Me too.Copy !req
850. Let me ask you something.Copy !req
851. Why'd you come tonight?Copy !req
852. - You first.
- To see you.Copy !req
853. That's lovely.Copy !req
854. I really wish I could say the same,
but I came for Max.Copy !req
855. What do you mean? You and...Copy !req
856. Not you and Max.Copy !req
857. Me and Max.Copy !req
858. No. This and Max.Copy !req
859. Don't give me
a killing-Max-won't-solve-anything speech.Copy !req
860. Because it will.Copy !req
861. Aren't you tired of this
sanctimonious robber-baron...Copy !req
862. always coming out on top
when he should be six feet under?Copy !req
863. I'm sure you have a lot of problems
with your boss...Copy !req
864. but who the hell do you think you are?Copy !req
865. I don't know anymore, Bruce.Copy !req
866. A kiss under the mistletoe.Copy !req
867. Mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it.Copy !req
868. But a kiss can be even deadlier...Copy !req
869. if you mean it.Copy !req
870. Oh, my God.Copy !req
871. Does this mean we have to start fighting?Copy !req
872. Let's go outside.Copy !req
873. - Are you okay?
- I'm all right.Copy !req
874. You didn't invite me, so I crashed!Copy !req
875. - What do you want?
- Right now, my troops...Copy !req
876. are fanning out across town...Copy !req
877. for your children! Yes!Copy !req
878. For your first-born sons!Copy !req
879. The ones you left defenseless at home...Copy !req
880. so you could dress up like jerks...Copy !req
881. get juiced and dance...Copy !req
882. badly!Copy !req
883. I've personally come...Copy !req
884. for Gotham's favorite son:Copy !req
885. Mr. Chip Shreck.Copy !req
886. You're coming with me,
you great white dope...Copy !req
887. to die way down in the sewer.Copy !req
888. Not Chip. If you have an iota
of human feeling, take me instead.Copy !req
889. I don't. So, no.Copy !req
890. I'm the one you want. Ask yourself.Copy !req
891. Isn't it Max Shreck
who manipulated and betrayed you?Copy !req
892. Isn't it Max, not Chip...Copy !req
893. who you want to see immersed
to his eyeballs in raw sewage?Copy !req
894. Okay, you got a point.Copy !req
895. I'll let the little prince live for now.Copy !req
896. In the duck!Copy !req
897. This is gonna be good...Copy !req
898. to cut down a whole crop
of Gotham's most promising...Copy !req
899. before their prime.Copy !req
900. You ask me, how do I lure them in?Copy !req
901. A little Pied Penguin action.Copy !req
902. And you get to watch them sink...Copy !req
903. into a deep puddle...Copy !req
904. of your industrial by-products.Copy !req
905. Then you join them.Copy !req
906. Would you hurry up
and get those kids loaded already?Copy !req
907. Right this way, kiddies. Come on.Copy !req
908. Come with me.Copy !req
909. So, where are all the children?Copy !req
910. Batman."Copy !req
911. My dear penguins...Copy !req
912. we stand on a great threshold.Copy !req
913. It's okay to be scared.Copy !req
914. Many of you won't be coming back.Copy !req
915. Thanks to Batman, the time has come...Copy !req
916. to punish all of God's children.Copy !req
917. First-, second-, third-, and fourth-born!Copy !req
918. Why be biased?Copy !req
919. Male and female!Copy !req
920. Hell, the sexes are equal...Copy !req
921. with their erogenous zones
blown sky-high!Copy !req
922. Forward march!Copy !req
923. The liberation of Gotham...Copy !req
924. has begun!Copy !req
925. The penguins are moving above ground.Copy !req
926. Penguin army
approaching launch destination...Copy !req
927. at Gotham Plaza.Copy !req
928. One minute until ignition.Copy !req
929. They wouldn't put me on a pedestal...Copy !req
930. so I'm laying them on a slab!Copy !req
931. The penguins seem to be converging
on Gotham Plaza.Copy !req
932. Thirty seconds until ignition.Copy !req
933. Estimated casualties after launch:Copy !req
934. 100,000 people.Copy !req
935. The penguins have reached
Gotham Square.Copy !req
936. Fifteen seconds to ignition.Copy !req
937. Ready when you are, sir.Copy !req
938. I've got the coordinates.Copy !req
939. Ten, nine, eight, seven...Copy !req
940. - All right. Let's turn them around.
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
941. Something is wrong.Copy !req
942. Something has jammed the signal.Copy !req
943. They seem to be turning around.Copy !req
944. There is also something coming this way.Copy !req
945. Very large. Very fast.Copy !req
946. Who's there?Copy !req
947. All right,
I'm homing in on the signal's origin.Copy !req
948. You're just jealous
because I'm a genuine freak...Copy !req
949. and you have to wear a mask!Copy !req
950. You might be right.Copy !req
951. But what it all comes down to is,
who's holding the umbrella?Copy !req
952. My babies!Copy !req
953. I don't know what you want, but I know I
can get it for you with a minimum of fuss.Copy !req
954. Money, jewels...Copy !req
955. a very big ball of string.Copy !req
956. - Your blood, Max.
- My blood?Copy !req
957. I gave at the office.Copy !req
958. A half-pint. I'm talking gallons.Copy !req
959. Let's make a deal.Copy !req
960. Other than my blood,
what can I do for you?Copy !req
961. Sorry, Max. A die for a die.Copy !req
962. You're not just saving a life,
you're saving—Copy !req
963. Shut up. You're going to jail.Copy !req
964. Don't be naive. The law doesn't apply
to people like him or us.Copy !req
965. Wrong on both counts.Copy !req
966. Why are you doing this?Copy !req
967. Let's just take him to the police.Copy !req
968. Then we can go home...Copy !req
969. together.Copy !req
970. Selina...Copy !req
971. don't you see?Copy !req
972. We're the same.Copy !req
973. We're the same.Copy !req
974. Split, right down the center.Copy !req
975. Selina, please.Copy !req
976. Bruce...Copy !req
977. I would love to live with you
in your castle...Copy !req
978. forever, just like in a fairy tale.Copy !req
979. I just couldn't live with myself.
So don't pretend this is a happy ending.Copy !req
980. Selina Kyle.Copy !req
981. You're fired.Copy !req
982. And Bruce Wayne...Copy !req
983. why are you dressed up like Batman?Copy !req
984. Because he is Batman, you moron.Copy !req
985. Was.Copy !req
986. Don't.Copy !req
987. You killed me, the Penguin killed me,
Batman killed me.Copy !req
988. That's three lives down.
You got enough in there to finish me off?Copy !req
989. One way to find out.Copy !req
990. Four, five.Copy !req
991. Still alive!Copy !req
992. Six, seven.Copy !req
993. All good girls go to heaven.Copy !req
994. Two lives left.Copy !req
995. I think I'll save one for next Christmas.Copy !req
996. But in the meantime...Copy !req
997. how about a kiss, Santie Claus?Copy !req
998. Shit! I picked a cute one.Copy !req
999. The heat's getting to me.Copy !req
1000. I'll murder you momentarily.Copy !req
1001. But first...Copy !req
1002. I need a cool drink...Copy !req
1003. of ice water.Copy !req
1004. Alfred, stop the car.Copy !req
1005. Well, come what may,
merry Christmas, Mr. Wayne.Copy !req
1006. Merry Christmas, Alfred.Copy !req
1007. "Goodwill toward men."Copy !req
1008. And women.Copy !req
1009. Adapted by:
SDI Media GroupCopy !req