1. It won't be long now.Copy !req
2. Structural integrity
has passed the point of no return.Copy !req
3. I just need to put in
the final calculations.Copy !req
4. There has to be another way.Copy !req
5. This is the only way.Copy !req
6. My son, someday I pray you'll have
a childCopy !req
7. that will bring you as much joy
as you have brought us.Copy !req
8. Even in this short time, you have
changed our lives for the better.Copy !req
9. We love you with all that we are.Copy !req
10. Goodbye, my son.Copy !req
11. It is time.Copy !req
12. Trans-light engines
activated in three, two, one.Copy !req
13. "In the decade of the 1930s,Copy !req
14. even the great city of Metropolis
was not sparedCopy !req
15. the ravages of worldwide depression.Copy !req
16. In the times of fear and confusion,
the job of informing the publicCopy !req
17. was the responsibility
of the Daily Planet. "Copy !req
18. Somebody kill me.Copy !req
19. Why couldn't you guys be,
I don't know, like, doctors or lawyers,Copy !req
20. or, like, a celebrity chef?Copy !req
21. Yeah, like, anything besides reporters.Copy !req
22. Because reporting is an important and
essential part of a civilized society.Copy !req
23. They call it
the fifth branch of government.Copy !req
24. Or is it the fourth?
Do you know where my purse is?Copy !req
25. The couch.Copy !req
26. But, okay, doing a report on reporters,
it's boring.Copy !req
27. Boring?Copy !req
28. Good reporters make good stories.Copy !req
29. Boring reporters don't last long.Copy !req
30. Listen, every time I start a story,
I follow a couple of rules.Copy !req
31. One, find your hook, your angle.Copy !req
32. How can you write this thing
like no one else? It's like...Copy !req
33. It's like, you know those
violent video games you play?Copy !req
34. I mean, I wouldn't call them violent.Copy !req
35. Trust me, they're violent.Copy !req
36. In those games, you're always looking
for the weak point, right?Copy !req
37. And sometimes, you have to hit them
with different moves,Copy !req
38. in different locations to beat it.Copy !req
39. Same thing with reporting.Copy !req
40. Find your angle, your "in"Copy !req
41. and you'll vanquish your report
in no time.Copy !req
42. I guess.Copy !req
43. Hey, which one of us
has won Journalist of the Year?Copy !req
44. You or me?Copy !req
45. Oh, and one more thing.Copy !req
46. With most stories,
we already know the ending.Copy !req
47. The airliner crashed.
The girl was saved.Copy !req
48. What's interesting is how that happened.Copy !req
49. How we got there.Copy !req
50. Always start at the beginning,
and you'll already have your end.Copy !req
51. The rest is cake.Copy !req
52. Speaking of which, I have to pick up
the birthday cake by 5:00. Shoot.Copy !req
53. You want me to write
about how you two dated?Copy !req
54. I love you, Mom, I love you.Copy !req
55. But you and Dad are the most
unexciting couple in the entire universeCopy !req
56. If only that were true.Copy !req
57. Uh, that's hairspray.
Your water bottle's by the door.Copy !req
58. Yeah, I'll probably need it.Copy !req
59. Remember, do your best.Copy !req
60. I have to head to the city,
but I'll be back before dinner.Copy !req
61. Your dad should be home soon.Copy !req
62. Love you.Copy !req
63. - Three, two...
- Forgot the purse.Copy !req
64. And, Jonathan...Copy !req
65. No looking for birthday presents
while I'm gone.Copy !req
66. - Mm-hmm.Copy !req
67. Fine.Copy !req
68. Bingo!Copy !req
69. Ugh!Copy !req
70. Cosplay?Copy !req
71. Oh, too easy.Copy !req
72. Don't look inside, Jon.
You don't want to ruin the surprise.Copy !req
73. - But then again...
- Jonathan!Copy !req
74. Dad's home.Copy !req
75. Dad!Copy !req
76. - Hey, kiddo.
- Hey, how was your trip?Copy !req
77. Good. Interesting.Copy !req
78. The scientists have discovered
this strange phenomenonCopy !req
79. with certain types of ants.Copy !req
80. Normally, they follow
the queen ant's directions,Copy !req
81. but now, they're moving
of their own accord.Copy !req
82. Which is better than
if the queen ant was dead,Copy !req
83. because if the queen ant dies,
then so does the colony.Copy !req
84. Sounds amazing.Copy !req
85. Sorry I'm boring you with nerd talk.Copy !req
86. Now, if you're done looking
for presents in the house...Copy !req
87. What? Me? No, I would never.Copy !req
88. How about you help me
with a few of the choresCopy !req
89. that seem to have been neglected
while I was away?Copy !req
90. Hey.Copy !req
91. Now you've done it!Copy !req
92. Come here.Copy !req
93. Whoa.Copy !req
94. Hmm.Copy !req
95. Where could he be?Copy !req
96. - Gotcha!Copy !req
97. - Dad?
- Yeah?Copy !req
98. I know that you and Mom
think that your job is super important,Copy !req
99. and it is, and everything,
but I don't know.Copy !req
100. I... I miss having you around.Copy !req
101. Yeah, I miss being around.Copy !req
102. Son, someday, this will make sense,Copy !req
103. but being a reporter,
it's a big responsibility.Copy !req
104. - It's-
- The fourth estate.Copy !req
105. Yeah, yeah. Mom gave me the whole spiel.Copy !req
106. It sounds like fake news to me.Copy !req
107. I mean, you've been gone
for two weeks, for what?Copy !req
108. Just to find out why
ants are going crazy?Copy !req
109. Well, it's really fascinating.
They actually-Copy !req
110. Yeah, I'm sure. I just...Copy !req
111. Couldn't you, I don't know,
look it up on the Internet?Copy !req
112. If I didn't have to go, I wouldn't.Copy !req
113. You need to believe me, son.Copy !req
114. But jobs, especially mine,
involve some sacrifice.Copy !req
115. Come on, it's not like
you're putting your life on the line.Copy !req
116. You're just putting your name
on a byline.Copy !req
117. You'd be surprised.Copy !req
118. But you'll be here tomorrow, right?Copy !req
119. For your game?Copy !req
120. Or your birthday?Copy !req
121. I thought maybe you forgot.Copy !req
122. Jonathan, you are the most important
thing that has ever happened to me.Copy !req
123. I'll never forget about you.Copy !req
124. Wow! Look at that one!Copy !req
125. Yeah, that's... You know what, kid?Copy !req
126. I think your mom just got back.
You better wash up for dinner.Copy !req
127. Uh, where are you going?Copy !req
128. I just realized
I have a quick errand to run.Copy !req
129. Tell your mom I'll be back later.Copy !req
130. Uh...Copy !req
131. - Sure.
- And Jonathan...Copy !req
132. Happy birthday.Copy !req
133. Thanks, Dad.Copy !req
134. Superman to Watchtower.
Everyone all right?Copy !req
135. Everything's fine. We were hit by
some sort of space debris.Copy !req
136. Looks like you closed it up,Copy !req
137. - but if you want to come in-
- No time.Copy !req
138. A tsunami is about to hit Japan.Copy !req
139. Contact Batman.
Let him know the damage assessment.Copy !req
140. He's into that sort of thing.Copy !req
141. And then there was one.Copy !req
142. Now batting, Jonathan Kent!Copy !req
143. Yeah!Copy !req
144. Come on, Jon! You got this!Copy !req
145. Whoo!Copy !req
146. Oh, look. It's Can't Hit Kent.Copy !req
147. We might as well start packing up
and head homeCopy !req
148. because this game's as good as over.Copy !req
149. Strike one!Copy !req
150. Strike two!Copy !req
151. Come on, Jon, you got this.Copy !req
152. Strike three, you're out!Copy !req
153. Good job, Jonathan Can't!Copy !req
154. You'll get them next time, kiddo.Copy !req
155. Now, how about
we go celebrate your birthday?Copy !req
156. Jonathan?Copy !req
157. I just want to go home, Mom.Copy !req
158. How is he?Copy !req
159. Upset.Copy !req
160. You said you were gonna be there.Copy !req
161. - I know, but there was-
- Hey, you don't need to tell me.Copy !req
162. Remember how many dates
you had to leave in the middle ofCopy !req
163. because of an "emergency"?Copy !req
164. The world needs you, I get it.Copy !req
165. But... he needs you, too.Copy !req
166. - I know.
- He's getting older.Copy !req
167. Maybe... Maybe it's time for the "talk. "Copy !req
168. Jon? It's Dad. Can I come in?Copy !req
169. No!Copy !req
170. I know you're upset,Copy !req
171. - but work was-
- Work is important.Copy !req
172. Yeah. You've told me.Copy !req
173. I just didn't think that it was
more important than your word.Copy !req
174. Look, I'm sorry.Copy !req
175. - I-
- I don't care that you're sorry.Copy !req
176. I just want you to be here!Copy !req
177. You care more about your dumb job
than you do your own son!Copy !req
178. Jon, it's not like that.Copy !req
179. Listen, let's talk this out.Copy !req
180. I'm coming in. Okay?Copy !req
181. Jonathan? Son?Copy !req
182. Leave me alone.Copy !req
183. I'm your father.
I can't leave you alone.Copy !req
184. Sorry, kid, it's in the contract.Copy !req
185. No, seriously, Dad. Something is...
Something's wrong with me.Copy !req
186. - I'm a freak.
- No, you're not a freak.Copy !req
187. You're no more a freak than I am.Copy !req
188. Dad, you just...
You wouldn't understand.Copy !req
189. Oh...Copy !req
190. I might.Copy !req
191. My dad is Superman?Copy !req
192. Like, the Superman?Copy !req
193. This is the best birthday ever!Copy !req
194. Was it just the heat vision
or was there something else?Copy !req
195. - I don't know.Copy !req
196. Does he have X-ray vision?Copy !req
197. If he has X-ray vision,
we can't send him to school.Copy !req
198. - You know that, right?Copy !req
199. I think it's just the heat vision.Copy !req
200. You think?
We need to know, Clark, this is serious.Copy !req
201. So that means
that I'm a superhero, too, right?Copy !req
202. Like, does that... does that mean I get
to join the Justice League and stuff?Copy !req
203. Do I get to meet Batman?Copy !req
204. What are we gonna do?Copy !req
205. We knew this was a possibility.
I just...Copy !req
206. He wasn't lifting cars at two years old
like you were.Copy !req
207. So, I thought maybe
it skipped a generation, like, red hair.Copy !req
208. Don't worry, I'll get him checked out.
We'll see what's happening.Copy !req
209. It'll be fine.Copy !req
210. Nope. Can't fly.Copy !req
211. Mostly fine.Copy !req
212. Woo-hoo!Copy !req
213. Yeah!Copy !req
214. Woo-hoo!Copy !req
215. Oh, yeah!Copy !req
216. Whoa.Copy !req
217. Yeah!Copy !req
218. Woo-hoo!Copy !req
219. Mom? Mom!Copy !req
220. What, honey?Copy !req
221. Superman is out the window
and he has some kid hanging on his back.Copy !req
222. Yeah, you know what? I was wrong.Copy !req
223. Here's my phone. Have some fun.Copy !req
224. This is amazing!Copy !req
225. My favorite part of being an alien.Copy !req
226. So, you're... Okay. So...Copy !req
227. That means that I'm half alien, too,
right?Copy !req
228. I'm half alien.Copy !req
229. I'm half alien!Copy !req
230. I'm half alien!Copy !req
231. You're taking this a lot better
than I thought you would.Copy !req
232. Why wouldn't I? I mean, this...Copy !req
233. My dad is the greatest superhero
in the world.Copy !req
234. Besides Batman.Copy !req
235. It's pretty much
the greatest birthday present ever.Copy !req
236. Yeah. It's been really hard
not to tell you,Copy !req
237. but keeping you and your mother safe
is my top priority.Copy !req
238. That means being on call.Copy !req
239. My job, my real job
is helping the world.Copy !req
240. Standing for truth, justice
and the American way,Copy !req
241. wherever that takes me.Copy !req
242. Awesome.Copy !req
243. Sometimes. But as glamorous
as you might think this is,Copy !req
244. it takes me away from you
and your mother.Copy !req
245. And you should know it's dangerous.Copy !req
246. It's a real sacrifice.Copy !req
247. Uh-huh, uh-huh.Copy !req
248. Oh, what should I be called though?Copy !req
249. What about... What about...
Well, Superboy's taken, right?Copy !req
250. So, what about, uh, Dragoneyes,
but with a "Z," or Supremo?Copy !req
251. Or, uh, Kid Wonder!Copy !req
252. Superman Two or...
Ugh! What's that smell?Copy !req
253. Gotham City.Copy !req
254. This is Gotham?Copy !req
255. I thought the Internet was exaggerating.Copy !req
256. But why doesn't somebody
do something about this?Copy !req
257. Somebody is.Copy !req
258. Get him!Copy !req
259. - Uh, Dad, shouldn't we help him?
- No.Copy !req
260. He tends to get a bit grumpy
when I step in.Copy !req
261. Is he always this... Oh!Copy !req
262. Rough? It's not as bad as it looks.Copy !req
263. He's actually going pretty easy on them.Copy !req
264. That's easy?Copy !req
265. This is my town, Batman.Copy !req
266. Hey.Copy !req
267. Aw...Copy !req
268. Come on, Batman.
Let's come to an agreement, huh?Copy !req
269. I'll promise to be a good bird
and you let me fly the coop, eh?Copy !req
270. Okay.Copy !req
271. No way!Copy !req
272. Clark.Copy !req
273. Hey, a little help here?Copy !req
274. You... You... You're...Copy !req
275. I'm Batman.Copy !req
276. Wow!Copy !req
277. This is the... Wow!Copy !req
278. - This is the...
- Welcome to the Batcave.Copy !req
279. Look! That's the Batmobile,Copy !req
280. and the Batcomputer,Copy !req
281. and the Batdinosaur. And that-Copy !req
282. Who's the new kid? Obvious Boy?Copy !req
283. Jon, this is Batman's son, Damian.Copy !req
284. Jon?Copy !req
285. So, you have toilet powers?Copy !req
286. Relax, Damian. They're friends.Copy !req
287. Sure. Friends.Copy !req
288. So should I go into your utility belt
and get the you-know-what-a-nite?Copy !req
289. Damian, please. They need our help.Copy !req
290. Set up Jon in the Meta Analyzer.Copy !req
291. Don't you mean the Bat Meta Analyzer?Copy !req
292. Sorry. Sorry. I just thought...
Never mind.Copy !req
293. Fine. Follow me, farm boy.Copy !req
294. - Is that a giant penny?
- Don't touch the penny.Copy !req
295. In fact, don't touch anything.Copy !req
296. - Reminds me of us when we first met.
- I was nicer.Copy !req
297. How's he doing?Copy !req
298. I mean, now that he's living with you.Copy !req
299. He wants to be good, I think.Copy !req
300. But what Ra's
and Talia put him through...Copy !req
301. Give it time.Copy !req
302. No one ever said parenting
would be easy.Copy !req
303. Especially when they've
been through so much.Copy !req
304. Thanks. I hope so.Copy !req
305. - He's done.
- Well?Copy !req
306. Nothing definitive.Copy !req
307. I have no idea what powers
could manifest next, if any at all.Copy !req
308. If his first power set
was brought on by extreme stress,Copy !req
309. it stands to reasonCopy !req
310. - that another traumatic moment...Copy !req
311. might unlock something else.Copy !req
312. Let's test that theory.Copy !req
313. Damian!Copy !req
314. What was that? Are you kidding me?Copy !req
315. - You piece of-
- What?Copy !req
316. You said a traumatic moment
might help him unlock some more powers.Copy !req
317. Seems logical to test it out.Copy !req
318. Not by trying to kill him.Copy !req
319. If I wanted to do that,
he'd already be dead.Copy !req
320. That's enough.Copy !req
321. Who is this kid?Copy !req
322. Ow!Copy !req
323. Out. Now!Copy !req
324. Well, he's obviously not invulnerable.Copy !req
325. Obviously.Copy !req
326. I'm sorry.Copy !req
327. It's okay. He's had a tough time.Copy !req
328. He's had a tough time?Copy !req
329. Jonathan, could I borrow your dad
for a minute?Copy !req
330. Yeah. Oh, yeah, of course.
Sure, sure, sure.Copy !req
331. I'll just be over here,
you know, nursing my bat wounds.Copy !req
332. Have you heard
from the Watchtower lately?Copy !req
333. Green Arrow hasn't checked in?Copy !req
334. He said he'd give you updates
after last night.Copy !req
335. Last night?Copy !req
336. The Watchtower,
it was knocked out of orbit.Copy !req
337. I was able to right it
before heading to Japan for the tsunami.Copy !req
338. I told Green Arrow to check in with you,
give updates.Copy !req
339. I haven't been able
to raise them on comms.Copy !req
340. I'm suspicious.Copy !req
341. Well, that's not unusual for you.Copy !req
342. Try them again.Copy !req
343. So, where should we meet for patrol?Copy !req
344. No patrol tonight.Copy !req
345. We've been called up to the Watchtower
for some emergency.Copy !req
346. - Great. I'll head to the tower and-
- Damian. Damian...Copy !req
347. Only the Titans have been called
to the Watchtower, and well...Copy !req
348. You've never officially been inducted,
so-Copy !req
349. An oversight, I'm sure.Copy !req
350. I'll head over,
swear on whatever you have handy and-Copy !req
351. No! No.Copy !req
352. Damian, we've taken a vote.Copy !req
353. We don't want you on the team.Copy !req
354. You're just too violent,Copy !req
355. and don't do well with others.Copy !req
356. We are a team. We need to work as one,Copy !req
357. and I'm sorry to say this,Copy !req
358. but you don't care for anyone
but yourself.Copy !req
359. - Sorry.
- Sorry? Don't be sorry.Copy !req
360. The only reason I've come aroundCopy !req
361. is 'cause my father, Batman,
begged me to.Copy !req
362. And why would I want to hang out with a
bunch of Justice League wannabes anyway?Copy !req
363. - Damian, I'm just-
- Good luck on failing without me.Copy !req
364. Uh...Copy !req
365. Hey, I was wondering if you could
show me-Copy !req
366. You have a cow?Copy !req
367. Of course I have a cow.Copy !req
368. When was the last time you milked her?Copy !req
369. Milked her?Copy !req
370. Yeah. You have to milk it, it's a cow.Copy !req
371. Listen, I can milk her, dude.
It's fine, it's no problem.Copy !req
372. Over my dead body.Copy !req
373. I don't need some small town hick
telling me how to take care of a cow.Copy !req
374. I'm the grandson of the Demon's Head.Copy !req
375. I've killed more people
than you'll ever meet.Copy !req
376. So leave my cow and my cave alone!Copy !req
377. Hey, don't look at me, he's your friend.Copy !req
378. Green Arrow, is that you?Copy !req
379. Yes. Sorry.Copy !req
380. We're having trouble with the comms.Copy !req
381. Whatever hit the Watchtower,
knocked out a couple of transmitters,Copy !req
382. but we're almost up and running.Copy !req
383. Understood. Keep me updated
as to your progress.Copy !req
384. Of course, Batman. Watchtower out.Copy !req
385. - Something's off.
- Something's off.Copy !req
386. Let me drop Jonathan at home
and we'll head to the Watchtower,Copy !req
387. see what's really going on.Copy !req
388. Hey, Dad.Copy !req
389. - Hey. Ready to go?
- Yep.Copy !req
390. Uh, Mr. Batman,
you have an awesome cave.Copy !req
391. It was really great to meet you.Copy !req
392. Oh! And, uh, here.Copy !req
393. How did it go?Copy !req
394. As well as can be expected.Copy !req
395. Mom, I met Batman!Copy !req
396. He's so...Copy !req
397. - Uh, broody?
- No, I was gonna say cool.Copy !req
398. All right, kiddo, time for bed.Copy !req
399. But, Dad, we should go on patrol, right?Copy !req
400. I mean, you never know
what bad guys are up to in Smallville.Copy !req
401. Then lucky them,
because you need some sleep.Copy !req
402. You have school tomorrow.Copy !req
403. I'm leaving a present
on your nightstand.Copy !req
404. It'll help you on your first step
to being a superhero.Copy !req
405. Thanks, Dad.Copy !req
406. I love you guys.Copy !req
407. - Good night.
- Love you, too.Copy !req
408. Good night.Copy !req
409. I have to go back out.Copy !req
410. Something strange is going on
at the Watchtower.Copy !req
411. - It's the night for that, I suppose.
- What do you mean?Copy !req
412. I've been getting these wild tipsCopy !req
413. from contacts all throughout
Central and South America.Copy !req
414. The crime rate has plummeted.Copy !req
415. Well, that's good, right?Copy !req
416. You would think.
But when I say "plummeted,"Copy !req
417. I mean, there's no more crime.Copy !req
418. Not even a purse snatching
being reported.Copy !req
419. We should go investigate.Copy !req
420. I'll go get my cape.Copy !req
421. - We did good.
- Yeah, we sure did.Copy !req
422. Watchtower.
Batman, security code OX-11 docking.Copy !req
423. It's quiet.Copy !req
424. - Let's do a full sweep.
- On it.Copy !req
425. We have to get out of here. Now!Copy !req
426. Some present.Copy !req
427. So that's why you couldn't hit anything.Copy !req
428. You're blind.Copy !req
429. Whatever, Melvin.Copy !req
430. Listen, Can't See Kent,Copy !req
431. I think you need to apologize
for losing our game.Copy !req
432. "Our game"? You aren't even on our team.Copy !req
433. Ooh!Copy !req
434. I could be on the team if I wanted to.Copy !req
435. But only nerds with good grades
are allowed to play, and I'm no nerd.Copy !req
436. Yeah.Copy !req
437. Wait. I'm on the team.Copy !req
438. Shut it, Kenny. You know what?Copy !req
439. Maybe I'll just make Jonathan here
do my homework,Copy !req
440. and then I'll join the team
and we'll never lose again.Copy !req
441. In your dreams.Copy !req
442. Oh!Copy !req
443. Super-strength.Copy !req
444. You okay, Melvin?Copy !req
445. Of course I'm okay.Copy !req
446. I must have tripped.Copy !req
447. Like I said, how about an apology?Copy !req
448. Only when your mom
apologizes for your face.Copy !req
449. Did you just... Did you...Copy !req
450. You're in for it now, Kent!Copy !req
451. Do your worst, Melvin, the moron.Copy !req
452. Who needs the Teen Titans?Copy !req
453. Teen Titans.Copy !req
454. Stupid name anyway.Copy !req
455. I'll make my own team.Copy !req
456. Yeah, maybe we'll even lead an assault
on Titans Tower.Copy !req
457. Show them how well we can work together.Copy !req
458. You tried to sneak up on me?Copy !req
459. My mother taught me
how to avoid that in the crib.Copy !req
460. Father, are you, okay?Copy !req
461. What the...Copy !req
462. Father, don't make me hurt you.Copy !req
463. It is time.Copy !req
464. Father, please, snap out of it.Copy !req
465. The southern hemisphere
has been taken over.Copy !req
466. We'll be at the tipping point soon,Copy !req
467. and this planet will be ours.Copy !req
468. And the others?Copy !req
469. They've been taken care of.Copy !req
470. All threats have been infected.Copy !req
471. - It is time.
- It is time.Copy !req
472. They've all been infected.Copy !req
473. No one's left, but...Copy !req
474. Oh, really?Copy !req
475. Yes, yes, I'll save him, okay?Copy !req
476. But only 'cause you asked.Copy !req
477. Honestly, Jonathan,
I expect more from you.Copy !req
478. And I'm sure your mother
and father do, too.Copy !req
479. - But Melvin-
- You know Melvin has issues.Copy !req
480. People like that need
more sympathy and patience.Copy !req
481. And maybe, if you have the heart,
they deserve friendship.Copy !req
482. - You're kidding me.
- No, I'm not.Copy !req
483. People like Melvin, they're hurt.
They lash out.Copy !req
484. But you take the time
to get to know them,Copy !req
485. well, they'll be the most loyal friend
you'll ever know.Copy !req
486. Thanks, but no thanks.Copy !req
487. Just think about it.Copy !req
488. Now, if you were any other kid,
you'd be suspended.Copy !req
489. But as it is, I put in a call
to your mother and she said,Copy !req
490. and I quote, "I'll be there
to make sure he never does that again. "Copy !req
491. I hope you learned your lesson,
young man.Copy !req
492. Yeah, um,Copy !req
493. you know what, Principal Cunningham,
you're right, lesson learned.Copy !req
494. You really are amazing at your job.Copy !req
495. I promise, no more trouble from me.Copy !req
496. Damn, I am good at my job.Copy !req
497. Really? Isn't that a little obvious?Copy !req
498. I was actually a fan before I found out.Copy !req
499. You know who was my-
You know what? It doesn't matter.Copy !req
500. What are you doing here?Copy !req
501. Aliens are taking over the globe.Copy !req
502. Come on, farm boy.Copy !req
503. - We've got to go save our dads.
- What? How?Copy !req
504. - What happened to your face?
- Uh...Copy !req
505. Actually, another power
kicked in today, so...Copy !req
506. It was super-strength.Copy !req
507. But evidently, super-strength doesn't
mean invulnerability to punches, so...Copy !req
508. So you punched yourself?Copy !req
509. Just please stay on point.
What is this about aliens?Copy !req
510. That's right, you're a little slow.Copy !req
511. Okay, one more time. Batman showed up,Copy !req
512. tried to stick
some parasitic organism on me.Copy !req
513. I saw that you were next on the list.Copy !req
514. So here I am. I've just saved you.
You're welcome.Copy !req
515. Look at this.Copy !req
516. You hanging out with cosplay losers now?Copy !req
517. Oh, he hit you.Copy !req
518. Yeah, I did.Copy !req
519. Should have used your heat vision,
honestly.Copy !req
520. Listen, kid, I know he's annoying,
but we have no time to interact with youCopy !req
521. Oh.Copy !req
522. You'll make time.Copy !req
523. Ooh.Copy !req
524. What did you do?Copy !req
525. Paralyzing technique
I learned from my grandfather.Copy !req
526. - He should recover, in about a week.
- A week?Copy !req
527. Jonathan.Copy !req
528. Jonathan.Copy !req
529. It's time to go home.Copy !req
530. - She's compromised.
- Oh, my mom never compromises.Copy !req
531. She's been taken over, idiot.Copy !req
532. What? No. No! She's fine.Copy !req
533. I've been around the block, Kent.Copy !req
534. I know when someone's
being mind controlled.Copy !req
535. - Shut up.
- What, you don't believe me?Copy !req
536. - Test her then.
- Okay, fine.Copy !req
537. I'll test her.Copy !req
538. Hi, Mom. Uh...Copy !req
539. When we get home, can I play video gamesCopy !req
540. and maybe break into that tub
of ice creamCopy !req
541. you try to hide from me in the freezer?Copy !req
542. Mm.Copy !req
543. Of course, dear.
That sounds like a marvelous idea.Copy !req
544. Now, come over here and give me a hug.Copy !req
545. - Yeah, she's been taken over.
- Told you.Copy !req
546. Jonathan,Copy !req
547. I said come over here and give me a hug.Copy !req
548. It is time.Copy !req
549. It is time.Copy !req
550. It is time.Copy !req
551. It is time.Copy !req
552. She's right behind us!Copy !req
553. Get in!Copy !req
554. - Do something.
- I am doing something.Copy !req
555. I'm trying to fly away.Copy !req
556. You do something.Copy !req
557. You have heat vision.
Just kill her already.Copy !req
558. I am not gonna kill my mom!Copy !req
559. Oh, there! The pond!
Can you get us over there?Copy !req
560. Sorry, Mom.Copy !req
561. You think she's okay?Copy !req
562. Yeah, she's fine. Great job.Copy !req
563. Uh, maybe we should-Copy !req
564. Jonathan.Copy !req
565. We need to lay low,
examine the alien for weaknesses.Copy !req
566. And how are we going to do that?
You have an alien handy?Copy !req
567. - Actually...
- All right.Copy !req
568. So, S.T.A. R. Labs maybe? Kord Tech?Copy !req
569. No, no. They'll be compromised.Copy !req
570. Okay, then where?Copy !req
571. I have an idea.Copy !req
572. Come on, lift with your knees.Copy !req
573. I'm kind of new
to this super-strength thing.Copy !req
574. Just give me a minute.Copy !req
575. Sure. Every minute we waste here,Copy !req
576. the world is being overrun
by murderous starfish,Copy !req
577. but take your time.Copy !req
578. - What?
- Take your time! You're doing great!Copy !req
579. Okay, okay, okay!
I got it! I got it! I got it!Copy !req
580. Yes! Oh, did you see that?Copy !req
581. Who's the man? I'm the man.Copy !req
582. Who's the man? I'm the man.Copy !req
583. Great job. Now you just have to turn it.Copy !req
584. That's it?Copy !req
585. My father said Superman kept
his most prized possessions here.Copy !req
586. And all it takes to get in
is a large key?Copy !req
587. So, I guess super-intellect
is not one of his powers.Copy !req
588. What was that?Copy !req
589. Probably just the ice,Copy !req
590. you know, melting.Copy !req
591. Is that a dog?Copy !req
592. Your dad has a super-dog? Why didn't he
tell you he has a super-dog?Copy !req
593. Questions I'm gonna ask later.Copy !req
594. I got it!Copy !req
595. Come on!Copy !req
596. Which way?Copy !req
597. How should I know?
I've never been here before.Copy !req
598. Then why did we come here?Copy !req
599. What?Copy !req
600. Heel!Copy !req
601. And I thought the Batcave was weird.Copy !req
602. Krypto. Don't you know who this is?Copy !req
603. This is Kal-El's son, Jonathan.Copy !req
604. Okay! Okay! Okay! Okay! Okay! Good boy.Copy !req
605. How did you know who I was?Copy !req
606. A cursory glance at your DNA.Copy !req
607. What are you, some kind of ghost?Copy !req
608. No. I am the artificial embodiment
of Jonathan's grandfather, Jor-El.Copy !req
609. I, along with Krypto,Copy !req
610. are the guardians
of the Fortress of Solitude.Copy !req
611. My grandfather?Copy !req
612. Yes. You are from a long line
of heroes and scientists.Copy !req
613. The house of El lives in you now.Copy !req
614. It's important that you understand
who you are and where you've come from.Copy !req
615. Embedded in the crystals before you
is the total accumulationCopy !req
616. of all literature and scientific fact
from dozens of other worldsCopy !req
617. spanning the 28 known galaxies.Copy !req
618. Yeah, sorry, old timer.
Maybe another time.Copy !req
619. Right now, we got bigger problems.Copy !req
620. Is there any way you can scan this,
tell us what it is?Copy !req
621. Yes, that is a spore
from the alien known as Starro.Copy !req
622. "Starro"?Copy !req
623. A parasitic creature
that can produce millions of spores.Copy !req
624. These spores,
such as you have in your vial,Copy !req
625. are then deposited
onto an unsuspecting planet,Copy !req
626. taking control of its populace,Copy !req
627. effectively controlling the planetCopy !req
628. until the Hive Mind
can then drain it of life unabated.Copy !req
629. "Hive Mind"?Copy !req
630. Like a queen ant?Copy !req
631. Similar. Yes.Copy !req
632. - What are you prattling on about?
- My dad.Copy !req
633. He said that a bunch of hive-controlled
insects were going crazy.Copy !req
634. They must have been reacting
to the presence of the Hive Mind.Copy !req
635. Which means, just like the queen ant,Copy !req
636. if we can take out the Hive Mind,Copy !req
637. - then the spores will just-
- Die.Copy !req
638. Huh.Copy !req
639. Impressive.Copy !req
640. More likely just lucky.Copy !req
641. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
642. So, how do we kill it?Copy !req
643. Unknown.Copy !req
644. My biological counterpart
had just acquired the specimenCopy !req
645. before Krypton was destroyed.Copy !req
646. What good are you?Copy !req
647. Can you at least tell us
where this thing is?Copy !req
648. I'm sorry. That is beyond my capability.Copy !req
649. Great.Copy !req
650. You know, my mom told me
that in order to figure out a story,Copy !req
651. you have to start from the beginning.Copy !req
652. - When did these spores start showing up?
- I know this.Copy !req
653. After you came to visit us
at the Batcave,Copy !req
654. my father and your dad
went to investigateCopy !req
655. some problem at the Watchtower.Copy !req
656. Something had hit it the night before,
knocking out their communications.Copy !req
657. They thought it was
some random space debris.Copy !req
658. But odds are...Copy !req
659. - It was the Hive Mind!
- It was the Hive Mind.Copy !req
660. - So that means...
- We have to go to space.Copy !req
661. We have to go to space!Copy !req
662. Miss Lane! Miss Lane!Copy !req
663. Mr. White's been trying
to get a hold of you.Copy !req
664. Some sort of global pandemic
has hit the southern statesCopy !req
665. and he wants you at the front line to-Copy !req
666. - Open your mouth.
- What?Copy !req
667. Jimmy, open your mouth.Copy !req
668. Uh...Copy !req
669. - Are you okay, Miss Lane?
- No, none of us are.Copy !req
670. Jimmy, there are aliens.
They reach into your...Copy !req
671. Jimmy, my son is out there.Copy !req
672. I know he's in the middle of this,
and I need to help him.Copy !req
673. I thought maybe I could
slip onto the mid-day program,Copy !req
674. warn people, but...
I don't know who's been taken over.Copy !req
675. Aliens? Well, you mean, like...
You mean, like Superman?Copy !req
676. No, nothing like him.Copy !req
677. I think I know how to stop them,
or hurt them anyway.Copy !req
678. I just... We have to figure out a way
to tell everyone.Copy !req
679. Get the word out.Copy !req
680. Oh. Gee, Miss Lane.Copy !req
681. The only way you could do that
is if you were the president.Copy !req
682. He's allowed to break into broadcasts
in the case of emergencies,Copy !req
683. - but, um, seeing as how-
- Jimmy, you're a genius.Copy !req
684. Shucks, Miss Lane.Copy !req
685. It's a little cramped.Copy !req
686. That is because
my biological counterpartCopy !req
687. made the ship for your father
when he was but a baby.Copy !req
688. - I toiled for years when-
- Yeah, yeah, I get it.Copy !req
689. Your grandfather likes to monologue
almost as much as mine.Copy !req
690. All right, let's do this thing.Copy !req
691. Wait. There's something in my back.Copy !req
692. Sweet.Copy !req
693. - Is that a blanket?
- Not anymore.Copy !req
694. Well, what do you think?Copy !req
695. It looks... completely stupid.Copy !req
696. - Ready?
- Ready.Copy !req
697. - Yes, you are right.Copy !req
698. Their odds of survival are not good.Copy !req
699. Not good at all.Copy !req
700. - Whoa!
- Whoa!Copy !req
701. Where's this Watchtower thing?Copy !req
702. Right there.Copy !req
703. What if they see us?Copy !req
704. Jor-El said the rocket
has a built-in stealth function.Copy !req
705. We shouldn't show up on any radar.Copy !req
706. Now, with a few codes
I hacked from the Bat-computer...Copy !req
707. Okay, so we're just
gonna go in there, and what?Copy !req
708. What do you think?
We sneak in, kill this Hive Mind thingCopy !req
709. and be back
for Alfred's cucumber sandwiches.Copy !req
710. Which, to be honest,
are not as bad as they sound.Copy !req
711. All right, be careful.Copy !req
712. Careful? Please.
I'm a trained assassin.Copy !req
713. What? What is it?Copy !req
714. We're in deep-Copy !req
715. I wouldn't have come if it wasn't
an emergency, Mr. President.Copy !req
716. Despite our differences,
you're the only one that could help.Copy !req
717. I believe...Copy !req
718. I know that aliens
are taking over the world,Copy !req
719. and I need you to make
a public address warning everyone.Copy !req
720. For you, Lois, anything.Copy !req
721. She's clean.Copy !req
722. Nothing except some hair stuff,
hand sanitizer,Copy !req
723. vegan granola bar
and a cigarette lighter.Copy !req
724. I quit.Copy !req
725. It's just there to remind me.Copy !req
726. And I'd like to remind youCopy !req
727. that I've been saying
this day would come for some time.Copy !req
728. You've written op-ed after op-ed
about my paranoiaCopy !req
729. with regards to extraterrestrials
and now...Copy !req
730. With regards to Superman.Copy !req
731. - Listen, if you don't want-
- Of course, I want to help.Copy !req
732. That's all I've ever wanted to do.Copy !req
733. But, in return...Copy !req
734. What?Copy !req
735. A front page apologyCopy !req
736. and endorsement by you
in the next election.Copy !req
737. Well, now I know
you're definitely not infected.Copy !req
738. Why is that?Copy !req
739. Because you're only concerned
about yourself.Copy !req
740. Do we have a deal?Copy !req
741. Deal.Copy !req
742. Can't you, I don't know,
use your heat vision or something?Copy !req
743. Then what?Copy !req
744. Silence!Copy !req
745. You have sought to thwart my plans.Copy !req
746. But Starro cannot be defeated.Copy !req
747. It is time.Copy !req
748. As long as there are free human beings,
you'll never stand a chance.Copy !req
749. You should be grateful.Copy !req
750. Your kind was destroying the planet.Copy !req
751. Now, there is no crime,Copy !req
752. no poverty, no rich, no poor,Copy !req
753. no more destruction of the environment.Copy !req
754. At the cost of our free will,Copy !req
755. and until you suck it dry for yourself.Copy !req
756. Correct.Copy !req
757. And then I'll move to the next planet,
and the next.Copy !req
758. With the technology
that you've accumulated,Copy !req
759. my kind will take over the universe.Copy !req
760. And there is nothing
you can do to stop it.Copy !req
761. Damian!Copy !req
762. So, what about us?Copy !req
763. Are we going to join
your starfish-headed goons?Copy !req
764. No, you have offended me.Copy !req
765. Kill them.Copy !req
766. Don't do this! You're heroes!Copy !req
767. It's okay, Jonathan.Copy !req
768. I never liked this green cowled rip-off
of my dad's anyway.Copy !req
769. Come on, Robin Hood. I'm right here.Copy !req
770. No. No, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
771. What did you do?Copy !req
772. You idiot!
You can't even take a batarang.Copy !req
773. What makes you think...
Stupid, stupid farm boy.Copy !req
774. I was just beginning to like you.Copy !req
775. Huh. Good.Copy !req
776. - You're arrow proof?
- I'm arrow proof.Copy !req
777. All right, Justice dweebs.Copy !req
778. My friend here
is about to kick your ass.Copy !req
779. I am so sorry, Wonder Girl! I-Copy !req
780. My fellow Americans...Copy !req
781. we're faced with a crisis
of global proportions.Copy !req
782. It's been brought to my attentionCopy !req
783. that an extraterrestrial being
has begun to take over our world.Copy !req
784. I urge you to remain calmCopy !req
785. and allow yourself to be takenCopy !req
786. by the almighty Starro.Copy !req
787. It is time.Copy !req
788. It is time.Copy !req
789. It's time for you to burn,
you son of a bitch!Copy !req
790. Mom?Copy !req
791. I'm an investigative reporter, asshole.Copy !req
792. I knew you were taken over
the minute you took the meeting.Copy !req
793. Jonathan, I know you're out there.Copy !req
794. I'm hoping, praying you can see this.Copy !req
795. Heat can hurt this thing.
You hear me, Jonathan Kent?Copy !req
796. Burn this mother-Copy !req
797. Mom, Mom!Copy !req
798. Okay, so it doesn't like heat.Copy !req
799. This is too easy.Copy !req
800. About time.Copy !req
801. Yeah, well, I was busy.Copy !req
802. Turns out the Hive Mind
isn't a fan of heat.Copy !req
803. It won't come off.Copy !req
804. Even with super strength.Copy !req
805. Then we need to take out the Hive Mind.Copy !req
806. Maybe your heat vision could kill him.Copy !req
807. Come on, let's go.Copy !req
808. Dad!Copy !req
809. Gotcha!Copy !req
810. I will kill you, Father.Copy !req
811. We need a new angle.Copy !req
812. Angle. "Try a different angle. "
Mom was right!Copy !req
813. What if we trade partners?Copy !req
814. Yeah, why not?Copy !req
815. But first, I'll need something.Copy !req
816. Help me tackle Batman.Copy !req
817. That's okay. I got it.Copy !req
818. What's that?Copy !req
819. My dad's insurance policy.Copy !req
820. Whoa!Copy !req
821. Man of Steel?Copy !req
822. I just knocked out Batman
with one punch!Copy !req
823. It is too late.Copy !req
824. We are past the tipping point.Copy !req
825. Your world is mine.Copy !req
826. That's what you think.
Torch this thing, farm boy.Copy !req
827. Useless.Copy !req
828. I don't think your heat vision's
gonna cut it.Copy !req
829. Yeah, I know, but I had to try.Copy !req
830. - What now?
- Only one thing I can think of.Copy !req
831. Yeah.Copy !req
832. Okay. That's everyone that could fit.
Jon?Copy !req
833. Sorry, Dad.Copy !req
834. Ready.Copy !req
835. - So...
- So...Copy !req
836. We just have to make it to
the control centerCopy !req
837. and then drop this thing
in the atmosphere.Copy !req
838. While avoiding a malevolent Hive Mind
that wants us dead.Copy !req
839. And that.Copy !req
840. You know, my dad said being a hero
was about sacrifice.Copy !req
841. And I don't think I believed him.Copy !req
842. But now?Copy !req
843. The world needs Superman and Batman
a lot more than it needsCopy !req
844. a farm boy from Kansas.Copy !req
845. Or an assassin with a cow.Copy !req
846. I don't know. He's pretty cool.Copy !req
847. - Ready?
- Yeah, I am.Copy !req
848. So, how do we knock this thing
out of orbit?Copy !req
849. I don't know.Copy !req
850. I got it!Copy !req
851. Damian!Copy !req
852. - Shoot it!
- What if I hit you?Copy !req
853. It's better than being eaten
by this thing! Shoot it now!Copy !req
854. No! You will not stop me!Copy !req
855. It is my time! My time!Copy !req
856. Hold on!Copy !req
857. I can't!Copy !req
858. Hold on!Copy !req
859. No way!Copy !req
860. The Hive Mind must be losing its power.Copy !req
861. The boys!Copy !req
862. - Thanks.
- Don't mention it.Copy !req
863. You know, of all the ways to go,
definitely didn't see this one coming.Copy !req
864. Ninjas, yes.Copy !req
865. Joker, possibly.Copy !req
866. Crashing to Earth on a satellite
while fighting off parasitic aliens,Copy !req
867. not really on my radar.Copy !req
868. Nice to know you can be surprised.Copy !req
869. Woo-hoo-hoo!Copy !req
870. Dad!Copy !req
871. You're all right!Copy !req
872. I'm better than all right,
now that I know you're safe.Copy !req
873. I, uh...Copy !req
874. I was... worried.Copy !req
875. Why? I learned from the best.Copy !req
876. I'm proud of you, Jonathan.Copy !req
877. You put the world, us, above yourself.Copy !req
878. That's what a hero does.Copy !req
879. That's what a Superman does.Copy !req
880. I have survived the ravages of space!Copy !req
881. Did you think you could destroy me?Copy !req
882. You are nothing.Copy !req
883. You are-Copy !req
884. Jonathan, get ready!Copy !req
885. I'd call that a home run.Copy !req
886. Hey, Damian. Listen,
we took another vote.Copy !req
887. - You did?
- Yes.Copy !req
888. After what you did on the Watchtower,Copy !req
889. - saving us...
- And the world.Copy !req
890. and the world,Copy !req
891. we'd be honored
if you joined the Titans.Copy !req
892. Did we get cut off?Copy !req
893. Damian, can you hear me?Copy !req
894. Oh, uh, I heard you. But you know what?
Uh, I have a prior engagement.Copy !req
895. Let me get back to you on that.Copy !req
896. Get back to me on-Copy !req
897. You're enjoying this a bit too much.Copy !req
898. It's the little things.Copy !req
899. Come on. I don't want to be late.
Never been to a baseball game before.Copy !req
900. Now batting,
Jonathan Kent.Copy !req
901. Good luck, Can't Hit-Copy !req
902. Knock 'em dead, kiddo!Copy !req
903. - I thought you had an emergency.
- Barry's handling it.Copy !req
904. Besides, I have more important things
to take care of.Copy !req
905. Hit it like it's
an extraterrestrial parasitic monster!Copy !req
906. Go, go, go! Good job, Jonathan.Copy !req
907. - You got it, buddy!
- Good job!Copy !req
908. Keep going!Copy !req
909. So, what now?Copy !req
910. You think we should join
the Teen Titans?Copy !req
911. Go on patrol?Copy !req
912. I mean, what's next
for the new dynamic duo?Copy !req
913. Nope. Dynamic Duo is Batman and Robin.Copy !req
914. We're Super Sons.Copy !req
915. Okay. Fine.Copy !req
916. What's next for the Super Sons?Copy !req
917. Well, I do owe you a birthday present.Copy !req
918. Oh.Copy !req
919. Well, what is it?Copy !req
920. This.Copy !req
921. Still can't fly.Copy !req