- 1. I'll get it. Taxi!
- 2. Thank you. Hi.
- 3. I'd like to go to the Adelphi Hotel,
- 4. - Excuse me. I'm sorry, this is my cab.
- Get inside.
- 5. No, listen— I was here first!
- 6. Oh, God.
- 7. Taxi! Taxi!
- 8. Taxi!
- 9. Let's go across. Come on.
- 10. We'll get one down the road.
Come on. Hurry.
- 11. For God's sake, Harold,
can we please just get a taxi?
- 12. I'm trying to get a— Taxi!
- 13. We're going the wrong way.
- 14. - Put that away. We look like tourists.
- Hi, honey.
- 15. We'll never get a cab.
Let's cut to Seventh.
- 16. - Seventh is that way.
- I know where we are.
- 17. Hey, mister, give me a dollar.
- 18. - Come on.
- Hey, mister, how about it? One dollar.
- 19. You deaf? You don't speak English?
- 20. Come on. Come on. Up here.
- 21. Hey, lady, do the kid a favor...
- 22. don't scream.
- 23. Hey, all right.
- 24. American Express Card.
"Don't leave home without it."
- 25. Hey, get out of here.
- 26. - Let's beat it, man. I don't like it up here.
- What, are you scared of heights?
- 27. I don't know.
After what happened to Johnny Gobs—
- 28. Hey, look, man. Johnny Gobs got ripped
and took a walk off a roof.
- 29. - No big loss.
- No, man.
- 30. That ain't what I heard at all.
- 31. - I heard that the bat got him.
- The bat?
- 32. Oh, man. Give me a break, will you?
- 33. Five stories, straight down.
There wasn't no blood in the body.
- 34. No shit.
It was all over the pavement.
- 35. - I'm getting out of here, man.
- Hey, shut up, man. Listen to me.
- 36. There ain't no bat.
- 37. Yeah, well, you shouldn't have turned
the gun on that kid, man.
- 38. Do you want your cut
of this money or not?
- 39. Now, shut up.
- 40. Shut up.
- 41. Don't kill me! Don't kill me, man!
- 42. Don't kill me! Don't kill me, man!
- 43. I'm not going to kill you.
I want you to do me a favor.
- 44. - Tell all your friends about me.
- What are you?
- 45. I'm Batman.
- 46. Across this nation...
- 47. the words "Gotham City"
are synonymous with crime.
- 48. Our streets are overrun.
- 49. Our public officials are helpless.
- 50. As mayor, I promise to root out
the source of this corruption...
- 51. Boss Carl Grissom.
- 52. Now, our new district attorney...
- 53. Harvey Dent will carry out
that promise. Harvey.
- 54. Thank you.
- 55. Thank you, Mayor Borg. Thank you.
- 56. People of Gotham City...
- 57. I'm a man of few words.
- 58. But those words will count,
and so will my actions.
- 59. Police Commissioner Gordon
has informed me...
- 60. that he has targeted
- 61. suspected of fronting
for the syndicate in this city.
- 62. Before the week is out...
- 63. we are going to knock down
- 64. and shed the light of the law
on that nest of vipers.
- 65. Together, we can make this city
safe for decent people.
- 66. Decent people shouldn't live here.
- 67. They'd be happier someplace else.
- 68. Pretty tough talk about Carl.
- 69. Don't worry about it.
- 70. If this clown could touch Grissom,
I'd have handed him his lungs by now.
- 71. If Grissom knew about us...
- 72. he might hand you something.
- 73. Don't flatter yourself, angel.
- 74. He's a tired old man.
- 75. He can't run this city without me.
- 76. And besides...
- 77. he doesn't know.
- 78. You don't worry about anything,
do you, Jack?
- 79. You look fine.
- 80. I didn't ask.
- 81. - Yeah. Hanging on. Hanging on.
- Coming through.
- 82. Get out of the way. Come on.
- 83. No, no, no. Let me guess.
- 84. Giant, menacing, supernatural form.
- 85. - Kind of like a bat.
- Yeah, that's it.
- 86. What are they seeing up there?
- 87. - They're drinking Drano.
- It's a little weird, lieutenant.
- 88. Thanks for the tip, Duane.
- 89. Christ. Knox.
- 90. Hello, Lt. Eckhardt.
I hear we just had another bat attack.
- 91. That's, what, eight sightings now
in under a month?
- 92. I hear the commissioner's
opened a file. True?
- 93. Sorry, Knox,
these two slipped on a banana peel.
- 94. I'm telling you, man, a giant bat.
- 95. Sure you did. Keep moving.
- 96. Don't be writing this stuff
in the newspaper, Knox.
- 97. It will ruin your
already useless reputation.
- 98. Lieutenant, every punk
in this town is scared stiff.
- 99. You know what they say?
They say he can't be killed.
- 100. - They say he drinks blood. They say—
- I say you're full of shit, Knox.
- 101. You can quote me on that.
- 102. Lieutenant, is there a 6-foot bat
in Gotham City?
- 103. And if so, is he on the police payroll?
- 104. And if so, what's he pulling down,
- 105. Brought you a little snack, Eckhardt.
- 106. Why don't you broadcast it?
- 107. Shut up and listen.
- 108. Harvey Dent has been sniffing around
one of our front companies.
- 109. That's my territory.
If there's a problem, I deal with it.
- 110. Your problems are our problems.
- 111. I answer to Grissom, not to psychos.
- 112. Why, Eckhardt,
you ought to think about the future.
- 113. You mean when you run the show?
You ain't got no future, Jack.
- 114. You're an A-1 nut boy,
and Grissom knows it.
- 115. Better be sure.
- 116. See...
- 117. you can make a good decision
when you try.
- 118. Where you been spending your nights?
- 119. I don't care how deeply in debt
this festival is, I want a parade.
- 120. I want hot dogs, balloons,
the whole schmeer.
- 121. We are going to celebrate this
200th anniversary proudly and publicly.
- 122. Well, we may be celebrating
in bankruptcy court.
- 123. This festival is $250,000 in the red,
and we haven't seen one balloon.
- 124. You fill this square with people,
and the businesses will come back here.
- 125. A lot of people might stay away, mayor.
- 126. They won't be scared
when you get Grissom in that courthouse.
- 127. I promised that, remember?
- 128. Well, welcome, Count Dracula.
Had any sightings of Big Foot lately?
- 129. - Knox, they buried your story on Batman.
- That's what they do to garbage.
- 130. This is Pulitzer Prize stuff, guys.
- 131. Hey, Knox.
Knox, I got something for you.
- 132. Very funny. You should have a little more
gore under the fangs, though, right?
- 133. What a dick.
- 134. Hello, legs.
- 135. I'm reading your stuff.
- 136. Well, I'm reading yours.
- 137. Hi, I'm Vicki Vale.
- 138. Vicki Vale. Yeah, yeah. Photographer.
Vogue, Cosmo. Yeah.
- 139. Listen, if you want me to pose nude,
you're gonna need a long lens.
- 140. Actually, I was in the Corto Maltese.
- 141. A girl could get hurt doing this stuff.
So, what brings you here?
- 142. I'm here to see some of the wildlife
in Gotham City.
- 143. Wildlife? Like what?
- 144. Like bats.
- 145. - Who sent you?
- No, nobody. Really.
- 146. I just loved your story, and I...
- 147. I like bats.
- 148. Yeah?
- 149. My pictures, your words.
Pulitzer Prize material. Just think—
- 150. Okay, you're a visionary.
- 151. You're also the only one
who believes me.
- 152. I need something tangible.
- 153. Gordon's got a file on this.
I can't even get him on the phone.
- 154. Bruce Wayne's benefit.
He'll be there, right?
- 155. Yeah. I don't seem to be
on the guest list. No. No.
- 156. Yes. Yes.
- 157. - Vale, will you marry me?
- 158. - Will you buy me lunch?
- 159. I eat light.
- 160. Say, this son of a bitch...
- 161. makes a connection
with us and with Axis Chemicals.
- 162. What kind of damage are we looking at?
- 163. If he ties us in with Axis Chemical,
we're dead and buried.
- 164. We should move immediately.
- 165. I say we break into the place...
- 166. trash the office...
- 167. and make off with the records
and say it was industrial espionage.
- 168. Jack...
- 169. smart thinking. That's the way to go.
- 170. In fact, I'd like you to handle
this operation personally.
- 171. Me?
- 172. Hello, sweetheart. I wonder if you'd mind
waiting in the next room?
- 173. That's all, gentlemen. Thank you.
Thank you, gentlemen. That's all.
- 174. Carl...
- 175. can we get somebody else to do this?
- 176. And the fumes in that place...
- 177. Jack...
- 178. it's an important job.
I need someone I can trust.
- 179. You are my number one guy.
- 180. Now...
- 181. don't forget...
- 182. your lucky deck.
- 183. My friend...
- 184. your luck is about to change.
- 185. Police department.
- 186. Get me Lieutenant Eckhardt.
- 187. Can I help you, sir?
- 188. Oh, thanks. Thank you very much.
It's very nice of you.
- 189. Here you go.
- 190. - Good evening, ma'am.
- A little crowded.
- 191. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.
- 192. Could you tell me which of these guys
is Bruce Wayne?
- 193. Well, I'm not sure.
- 194. Thanks anyway.
- 195. Yeah.
- 196. - Thank you.
- Certainly, yeah.
- 197. Your roll, commissioner.
- 198. My turn, my turn.
Here we go. Here we go.
- 199. - Eight.
- Eight. I can make that eight.
- 200. I can make that eight.
- 201. Commissioner.
Mrs. Gordon, you look lovely.
- 202. How about that rumor the commissioner's
got a file on the Batman. True?
- 203. Not for the ninth time. There is no bat.
- 204. If there were, we'd find him.
We'd arrest him.
- 205. - Do you confirm him? Be straight.
- Big eight.
- 206. - How you making out?
- No good at all.
- 207. Mr. Dent, I love that tie.
- 208. Gordo and I were discussing
the pros and cons of winged vigilantes.
- 209. What's your stand?
- 210. Mr. Knox, we have enough problems
in this city...
- 211. without worrying about ghosts
- 212. Pardon me, but that's not—
That's not a denial.
- 213. Excuse me, dear. I'll be back.
- 214. Isn't anybody gonna go on record?
- 215. - Your Honor, great suit.
- No comment.
- 216. - Robert, what's up?
- Anonymous tip.
- 217. Napier's cleaning out Axis Chemicals.
- 218. Why wasn't I told about this?
Who's in charge?
- 219. Eckhardt, sir.
- 220. Oh, my God. Come on, let's go.
- 221. Commissioner Gordon?
- 222. Vale, I think he went in this room.
- 223. Commissioner Gordon?
- 224. Wait, wait, wait.
Living room, dining room, arsenal.
- 225. Look at this stuff.
- 226. Who is this guy?
- 227. He gives to all these humanitarian causes,
and then collects all this stuff.
- 228. He probably does it to get chicks.
They like him for his big charity balls.
- 229. Yeah, and don't leave out
his very large bankroll.
- 230. Remember, the more they've got,
the less they're worth.
- 231. Then this guy must be
the most worthless guy in America.
- 232. Check this out.
- 233. He must have been
king of the wicker people.
- 234. - Where did this come from?
- I have no idea.
- 235. - It's Japanese.
- How do you know?
- 236. Because I bought it in Japan.
- 237. - Who are you?
- Oh, sorry. Bruce Wayne.
- 238. - Alexander Knox.
- 239. Oh, I read your work.
I like it. I like it a lot.
- 240. Oh, thanks. Can I have a grant?
- 241. - Vicki Vale.
- 242. - Bruce Wayne.
- Are you sure?
- 243. Yeah, this time.
- 244. I've seen your photographs
from Corto Maltese, haven't I?
- 245. - Right.
- Yeah, you've got a wonderful eye.
- 246. Yeah, some people think she has two.
- 247. This is an amazing house.
I'd like to shoot it sometime, if you—
- 248. Mr. Wayne, we need to open a few more
cases of the champagne.
- 249. - Will that be all right?
- Oh, sure. Go ahead.
- 250. Open, what, six?
- 251. - Six?
- Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Six is good.
- 252. Okay. Yeah.
- 253. That's great, six. Thanks.
- 254. - You going to be in Gotham for a while?
- I'd love to.
- 255. I'm intrigued by Alex's
giant bat stories, so...
- 256. Oh, the— Right.
Bat— The Batman. Thing.
- 257. Yeah. That's a little bit light after the war
in Corto Maltese, isn't it?
- 258. - And what do you do for a living?
- Well, I'm—
- 259. Sir, Commissioner Gordon
was compelled to leave.
- 260. - Okay, thank you.
- Very unexpectedly, sir.
- 261. - Will you two excuse me?
- I think, perhaps, this way, sir.
- 262. Alfred, they need more wine
in the front.
- 263. And someone named Mrs. Daley
needs a copy of the menu.
- 264. Oh, and...
- 265. give Knox a grant.
- 266. Nice talking with you, Wayne.
- 267. The rich...
- 268. You know why they're so odd?
Because they can afford to be.
- 269. I mean, look at this mirror.
Maybe it should be Bruce Vain.
- 270. - Robert, what's up?
- Anonymous tip.
- 271. - Napier's cleaning out Axis Chemicals.
- Good Lord.
- 272. If we can put our hands on him,
we'd have Grissom.
- 273. Why wasn't I told about this?
Who's in charge?
- 274. - Eckhardt, sir.
- Oh, my God.
- 275. Come on, let's go. Let's go.
- 276. All right, take a good look.
This is the guy.
- 277. All right, get a good look.
- 278. Shoot to kill.
Know what I mean?
- 279. All right, let's move out.
- 280. We've been ratted out here, boys.
- 281. Freeze!
- 282. Left. You, take the right.
Move it. Move it.
- 283. What the hell's going on?
- 284. Christ. What're you trying to do,
blow the collar?
- 285. I'm in charge here, not Carl Grissom.
- 286. This is Commissioner Gordon.
- 287. I want him taken alive.
- 288. I repeat, any man who opens fire
on Jack Napier will answer to me.
- 289. Let me down!
- 290. Let me down!
- 291. Let me down!
- 292. Oh, my God.
- 293. Go that way!
- 294. See if you can get up on the catwalk
on that side.
- 295. You take that side. Be careful.
Be very careful.
- 296. Jesus!
- 297. Let him go, or I'll do Gordon!
- 298. Nice outfit.
- 299. Come on, Jack, let's go!
- 300. - Come on!
- Come on, Jack!
- 301. Eckhardt.
- 302. Think about the future.
- 303. Goddamn it, we had him.
- 304. Hold it right there!
- 305. Who is this guy?
- 306. I don't know.
- 307. Until we find out, keep a lid on it.
- 308. Wait, wait, wait. If there's no bat...
- 309. then who dropped this guy, Napier,
into the acid?
- 310. Suicide? Wait a minute.
I wanna get this on tape, okay?
- 311. Hello?
- 312. He hung up.
- 313. - Okay, what do you got?
- Okay, here's the inner city.
- 314. Axis Chemicals. Here're the sightings.
- 315. Maybe Batman has some kind of
flight pattern or something.
- 316. - That's all I can think of.
- This is very good.
- 317. Tonight, I'll take you to dinner,
and then we'll walk the trail.
- 318. No can do.
I got a date with Bruce Wayne.
- 319. Wayne? Wayne.
- 320. - I knew you'd say that.
- The guy's a stiff.
- 321. - He's a rich stiff, but you could do better.
- Thanks for being so concerned. Bye.
- 322. How's the soup?
- 323. Excuse me?
- 324. The soup...
- 325. - ... how is it?
- It's great.
- 326. Could you pass the salt?
- 327. Sure.
- 328. Thanks.
- 329. Did you have a hard time
finding the house?
- 330. Oh, no.
- 331. - No, it was no problem.
- 332. Do you like eating in here?
- 333. Oh, yeah.
- 334. The truth, I don't think I've ever been
in this room before.
- 335. - Do you wanna get out of here?
- 336. There was young Master Bruce...
- 337. leading his gray pony
with me on its back...
- 338. like a sack of old potatoes
covered in mud...
- 339. and nursing a sprained ankle.
- 340. That was the first and last time
I gave him a riding lesson.
- 341. Well, I think I've embarrassed him
for long enough.
- 342. I'm off to bed.
- 343. But please leave everything.
I'll tidy up in the morning.
- 344. - Good night, miss.
- Good night, Alfred.
- 345. - Good night, sir.
- Night, Alfred.
- 346. He's really wonderful.
He loves you a lot.
- 347. Alfred's great.
I couldn't find my socks without him.
- 348. He sort of reminds me
of my grandfather.
- 349. Were you close to him?
- 350. Yeah, I used to spend summers
with he and my grandmother.
- 351. They had a house on the lake.
Nothing like this, but...
- 352. - But it was fun.
- That sounds nice.
- 353. Yeah.
- 354. What about your family?
- 355. Well...
- 356. actually, Alfred is my family.
- 357. You know, this house and all this stuff
really doesn't seem like you at all.
- 358. Some of it is very much me.
- 359. Some of it isn't.
- 360. - That dining room is definitely not you.
- No, the dining room isn't.
- 361. Let's see how we did.
- 362. Oh, my God.
- 363. Mirror.
- 364. Mirror!
- 365. You understand that the nerves
were completely severed, Mr. Napier.
- 366. You see what I have to work with here.
- 367. There are an awful lot of stairs
in this place. My feet are killing me.
- 368. Okay.
- 369. Well...
- 370. I feel a little drunk,
and you're not anything.
- 371. Hey, one drink and I'm flying.
- 372. Why are you afraid of flying?
- 373. That you, sugar bumps?
- 374. Who the hell are you?
- 375. It's me, sugar bumps.
- 376. Jack.
- 377. Thank God you're alive.
I heard you'd been—
- 378. Fried? Is that what you heard?
- 379. You set me up over a woman.
- 380. A woman!
- 381. Must be insane.
- 382. Don't bother.
- 383. Your life won't be worth spit!
- 384. I've been dead once already.
- 385. It's very liberating.
- 386. You should think of it as therapy.
- 387. Jack, listen...
- 388. maybe we can cut a deal.
- 389. "Jack"?
- 390. Jack is dead, my friend.
- 391. You can call me "Joker."
- 392. And as you can see,
I'm a lot happier.
- 393. What a day.
- 394. Gotham City.
- 395. Always brings a smile to my face.
- 396. "Winged freak...
- 397. terrorizes..."
- 398. Wait till they get a load of me.
- 399. Hey, I've got an idea.
- 400. How about lunch at my place?
I'll show you some photos.
- 401. Sure. Okay.
- 402. Wait a minute.
- 403. No, I can't. I can't make it.
- 404. Okay, we'll do it later in the day.
- 405. Hold on. I can't make it then either.
- 406. I've got a very important meeting today.
- 407. What's wrong?
- 408. Nothing's wrong.
- 409. I've just got to go out of town
on business for a few days.
- 410. - Okay, we'll do it when you get back.
- All right.
- 411. I've got to go. I'm late.
- 412. - Bye.
- Come here.
- 413. Bye.
- 414. Jesus.
- 415. - Alfred.
- It's nice to see you again, ma'am.
- 416. Nice to see you too.
- 417. Well, I'll talk to you guys
when you get back.
- 418. Back, Miss Vale?
We're going to be here for quite a while.
- 419. Well, bye.
- 420. Honey, you'll never believe
what happened to me today.
- 421. So gentlemen, that's how it is.
- 422. Until Grissom resurfaces,
I'm the acting president...
- 423. and I say,
starting with this anniversary festival...
- 424. we run this city into the ground.
- 425. - Why don't we hear this from Grissom?
- 426. And what's with that stupid grin?
- 427. Life's been good to me.
- 428. What if we say no?
- 429. Well, Tony...
- 430. nobody wants a war.
- 431. If we can't do business, why,
we'll just shake hands, and that'll be it.
- 432. - Yeah?
- 433. Oh, I got a live one here.
- 434. Oh, there will be a hot time
In the old town tonight
- 435. Antoine got a little hot under the collar.
- 436. You're crazy.
- 437. Haven't you ever heard
of the healing power of laughter?
- 438. - Now get out of here!
- You heard him, let's go! Move it!
- 439. And think it over.
- 440. - Come on, let's go!
- Come on, up, up! Faster! Get out of here!
- 441. Come on, get out of here!
- 442. Bob.
- 443. Go down to the Globe, follow
that reporter, Knox. Take your camera.
- 444. See what he knows about this Batman.
- 445. And, Bob...
- 446. Remember...
- 447. you...
- 448. are my number one guy.
- 449. Yes, sir.
- 450. Your pals,
they're not bad people.
- 451. Maybe we ought to give them
a couple of days to think it over.
- 452. No?
- 453. Grease them now?
- 454. Okay.
- 455. You are a vicious bastard, Rotelli.
- 456. I'm glad you're dead.
- 457. I'm glad you're dead.
- 458. I'm glad you're dead!
- 459. I need that.
- 460. I'm losing confidence in you.
I thought we were a team.
- 461. This wouldn't be a personal issue
for you, would it?
- 462. - I just want you to do your job.
- I am doing my job.
- 463. - Me too. I'm protecting my partner.
- There's nothing in these files.
- 464. No photos, no histories, no nothing.
Who is this guy?
- 465. Who cares?
- 466. Forget about Bruce Wayne.
I'm on to Batman.
- 467. They should be out any second.
- 468. I can't wait to hear the explanation
for this one.
- 469. Here he comes, man.
- 470. So, what's this affidavit you filed?
- 471. Grissom gave you all his businesses?
- 472. Mr. Grissom asked me,
as a personal favor...
- 473. to take over the operation
of his businesses until he returns.
- 474. That's a pretty big favor.
You two must have been very close.
- 475. - Very close.
- Did you do time together as children?
- 476. Our accountants are looking into this.
We assure you the affidavit is legitimate.
- 477. I smell fresh ink, guys.
- 478. You can prove all this?
What am I asking? Of course you can.
- 479. We have witnesses.
Grissom's signature is perfectly legitimate.
- 480. It is legitimate.
- 481. I saw it. I was there.
- 482. I saw it all.
- 483. He reached up with his dead hand...
- 484. and signed it in his own blood.
- 485. And he did it with this pen.
- 486. Hello, Vinnie. It's your uncle Bingo.
- 487. Time to pay the check.
- 488. The pen...
- 489. is truly mightier than the sword.
- 490. Bruce!
- 491. - Wait.
- Go, get down.
- 492. Doesn't this gang war dampen the city's
plans for the 200th anniversary festival?
- 493. The festival opens. The police
are going to stop these gangsters.
- 494. What do you think the theory...
- 495. that the mysterious Batman
is a mob enforcer killing these people?
- 496. I don't have any comment now.
- 497. Batman.
- 498. Batman.
- 499. Can somebody tell me
what kind of a world we live in...
- 500. where a man dressed up as a bat
gets all of my press?
- 501. This town needs an enema!
- 502. Alfred, may I have a glass of water?
- 503. I'm relieved that you're home, sir.
- 504. Miss Vale telephoned.
She was rather concerned.
- 505. I feel that there's a certain weight
that lifts when she is here.
- 506. Alfred, why don't you marry her?
- 507. That's not exactly
what I had in mind, sir.
- 508. I know.
- 509. I can't go over that right now.
- 510. If not now...
- 511. when?
- 512. I don't know.
- 513. I just found out Jack Napier's still alive.
- 514. He's running Grissom's men. I need
all the information the police have on him.
- 515. - Yes, sir.
- Thank you.
- 516. Alfred.
- 517. She is great, isn't she?
- 518. Yes, sir.
- 519. - City room, Knox.
- 520. - I want you to check something out, okay?
- 521. Find out what's so special about the alley
at Pearl and Phillips streets.
- 522. - Corner of Pearl and Phillips?
- 523. - You got it.
- Okay. Okay, bye.
- 524. Mr. Wayne.
- 525. - So much to do and so little time.
- The photos.
- 526. - Who is that loss?
- It's Knox.
- 527. Bad tie. No style.
- 528. Stop the press. Who is that?
- 529. That's Vicki Vale. She's the photographer
who's working with Knox.
- 530. Now, that girl has style.
- 531. A lovely beast like that running around
could put steam in a man's strides.
- 532. She's dating some guy named Wayne.
- 533. She's about to trade up.
- 534. Hard to stay inside the lines.
- 535. I'm about...
- 536. to get a new girl, Bobby.
- 537. I'm of a mind to make some mookie.
- 538. - Phone book.
- Yes, sir.
- 539. So much to do and so little time.
- 540. - Have you shipped a million of those?
- Yes, sir.
- 541. Ship them all! We're going to take
them out a whole new door!
- 542. Ten seconds to transmission.
- 543. Five, four...
- 544. three, two, one.
- 545. Cue music.
- 546. Cue Becky.
- 547. Good evening.
The fashion world was stunned today...
- 548. by the sudden deaths of models
Candy Walker and Amanda Keeler.
- 549. Cause of death has been attributed
to a violent allergic reaction...
- 550. although authorities have not
ruled out the possibility of drug use. Peter.
- 551. And plans continue
for the city's 200th birthday...
- 552. as Mayor Borg announced today
- 553. This just in.
- 554. Three mysterious deaths
at a beauty parlor—
- 555. At a beauty parlor in Gotham
were discovered today.
- 556. Barry, what the hell's going on?
- 557. Becky, this is hardly the...
- 558. Becky.
- 559. - Kill the camera.
- This is Renee on the news floor.
- 560. - I need paramedics up here now.
- Is she all right?
- 561. New and improved Joker products!
- 562. With a new secret ingredient:
- 563. Smilex.
- 564. What is this?
- 565. Now, let's go over
to our blind taste test.
- 566. Love that Joker.
- 567. - Where is it coming from?
- I don't know.
- 568. He don't look happy.
He's been using brand X.
- 569. But with new, improved Joker brand...
- 570. I get a grin again and again.
- 571. That luscious tan...
- 572. those ruby lips...
- 573. and hair color so natural,
only your undertaker knows for sure.
- 574. I know what you're saying:
- 575. "Where can I get
these fine, new items?"
- 576. Well, that's the gag.
Chances are, you bought them already.
- 577. Love that Joker.
- 578. So remember, put on a happy face.
- 579. - The information you requested, sir.
- Thank you.
- 580. "Jack Napier.
Assault with a deadly weapon, age 15.
- 581. Results of psychological profile:
- 582. Violent mood swings, highly intelligent,
- 583. Aptitudes includes science,
chemistry and art."
- 584. Chemistry.
- 585. Alfred, let's go shopping.
- 586. Yes, sir.
- 587. Six new deaths, with no clues
as to the Joker's deadly weapon.
- 588. And what is the pattern?
- 589. Foods, alcohol
or beauty and hygiene products?
- 590. Cologne, mouthwash,
- 591. Or worse yet, there may be no pattern.
- 592. The search goes on
through Gotham's shopping nightmare.
- 593. We are going to have a festival...
- 594. if I have to get a shotgun
and get people there myself.
- 595. Do you hear the words coming out
of my mouth, Dent? The festival is on.
- 596. And you find out what this madman
is poisoning us with...
- 597. and fast. Do you read me?
- 598. We're working on it.
I need all the help I can get.
- 599. Bruce? Hi, it's Vicki.
- 600. I'm sorry, but I'm gonna be
10 minutes late to the museum.
- 601. I'll see you when I get there. Bye.
- 602. Sir, a message from Miss Vale.
- 603. She'll be 10 minutes late
in meeting you at the museum.
- 604. Okay, fine. Thank you.
Wait a minute, Alfred.
- 605. I'm not meeting her today.
- 606. Jack, where are you going?
- 607. Daddy's going
to make some art, darling.
- 608. Excuse me. Mr. Wayne's table?
- 609. Yes, he hasn't arrived yet.
- 610. - We have a table waiting.
- 611. Miss Vale, this just arrived for you.
- 612. Gentlemen...
- 613. let's broaden our minds. Lawrence.
- 614. Give him a shave.
- 615. Terence, brush.
- 616. The $1 bill.
- 617. Hold it.
- 618. I kind of like this one, Bob. Leave it.
- 619. You can take that off now, I think.
- 620. You're beautiful
in an old-fashioned kind of way.
- 621. But I'm sure we can
make you more today.
- 622. Is that your portfolio?
- 623. I'm meeting someone
who wants to see my work.
- 624. Crap.
- 625. Crap. Crap.
- 626. Crap. Crap. Crap.
- 627. Now, that's good work.
- 628. The skulls, the bodies.
- 629. You give it all such a glow.
I don't know if it's art, but I like it.
- 630. Let me tell you
what I'm thinking about, sweetie.
- 631. I was in the bath one day when I realized
why I was destined for greatness.
- 632. You know how concerned people are
- 633. This is attractive, that is not.
- 634. Well, that is all behind me. I now do
what other people only dream.
- 635. I make art until someone dies.
- 636. See?
- 637. I am the world's first fully
functioning homicidal artist.
- 638. What do you want?
- 639. My face on the $1 bill.
- 640. You must be joking.
- 641. Do I look like I'm joking?
- 642. Listen.
- 643. We mustn't compare ourselves
to regular people. We're artists.
- 644. For instance, let me challenge you
with a little piece I did.
- 645. Bob. Alicia.
- 646. You will take pictures
and record my work.
- 647. You will join me in the avant-garde
of the new aesthetic.
- 648. Jack, you said I could watch you
improve the paintings.
- 649. I'm in trouble now.
- 650. Why is she wearing a mask?
- 651. Well, she's just a sketch, really.
- 652. Alicia, sit down.
Show the lady why you wear the mask.
- 653. You see, Miss Vale, Alicia's been
made over in line with my new philosophy.
- 654. So now, like me,
she is a living work of art.
- 655. I'm no Picasso, but do you like it?
- 656. It's great.
- 657. So, what can I do for you?
- 658. A little song, a little dance.
- 659. Batman's head on a lance.
- 660. Tell me, what do you know about...?
- 661. I don't know anything about Batman.
- 662. Really?
- 663. Well, how about a little you and me?
- 664. - You're insane.
- I thought I was a Pisces. Come on.
- 665. Let's make up.
Have a little whiff of my posy.
- 666. Help me!
- 667. I'm melting!
- 668. I'm melting! Help me! I'm melting!
- 669. I'm melting! I'm melting!
- 670. Hold on.
- 671. Where does he get
those wonderful toys?
- 672. - Get in the car.
- Which one?
- 673. Let's go.
- 674. Shields.
- 675. - How much do you weigh?
- About 108, I think.
- 676. Hold on.
- 677. See that thing on my belt? Grab it.
- 678. Whatever you do, don't let go.
- 679. No blood. Hey, who is this guy?
- 680. Check his wallet.
- 681. - Wait a minute.
- What is that?
- 682. Some kind of body armor.
He's human after all.
- 683. Take off the mask.
- 684. Shoot her!
- 685. Shields open.
- 686. You weigh a little more than 108.
- 687. - Oh, really?
- Let's go.
- 688. Stop.
- 689. Where are we going?
- 690. Be careful.
- 691. Bats.
- 692. They're great survivors.
- 693. - What is all this?
- The police have got it wrong.
- 694. They're looking for one product.
- 695. The Joker's tainted hundreds
of chemicals at the source.
- 696. Then whole shipments
of products would be poisoned...
- 697. and we'd all be dead.
- 698. No.
- 699. The poison only works when components
are mixed. Hair spray won't do it alone.
- 700. But hair spray mixed with lipstick and
perfume will be toxic, and then traceable.
- 701. How did you figure this out?
- 702. Take that to the press.
- 703. I might have some trouble with that.
- 704. A lot of people think you're
as dangerous as the Joker.
- 705. He's psychotic.
- 706. Some people say the same thing
- 707. What people?
- 708. Well, I mean, let's face it.
- 709. You're not exactly normal, are you?
- 710. It's not exactly a normal world, is it?
- 711. Why did you bring me here?
- 712. I mean, you could have sent that stuff
to the press yourself.
- 713. You're right.
- 714. There is something else
you have that I want.
- 715. What?
- 716. He took the film.
- 717. - Yeah.
- Vale, where have you been?
- 718. Are you all right?
You want me to come over?
- 719. No. No, Allie.
- 720. Allie, if I bring something to you,
can we make the evening edition?
- 721. Just barely. Is it hot?
- 722. Yeah, it's real hot. Yeah, bye.
- 723. - Copy!
- Yes, sir?
- 724. Avoid the following combinations:
- 725. Deodorants with baby powder,
hair spray and lipstick.
- 726. Safe products are flying in as
Gotham City goes on a forced fast.
- 727. And all of Gotham is wondering
what to make of Batman.
- 728. Friend or foe?
- 729. - Meanwhile...
- I have given a name to my pain...
- 730. and it is Batman.
- 731. You must possess strength
to inflict pain, Bob.
- 732. We've got a flying mouse to kill,
and I wanna clean my claws.
- 733. Sir, Miss Vale called again.
- 734. Dare I suggest that
your present course of action...
- 735. might simply strengthen her resolve?
- 736. She is quite tenacious.
- 737. You're right about that.
- 738. And if I may say so, quite special.
- 739. Perhaps you could try
telling her the truth.
- 740. Coming.
- 741. Hi.
- 742. May I come in?
- 743. This is a nice apartment.
- 744. Lots of space.
- 745. - Listen, I came over to clear a few things—
- I don't know who you think you are.
- 746. - You hurt me.
- I know. Look—
- 747. - I called you, and I called you.
- I know.
- 748. And you lied. You lied to me
about leaving town.
- 749. - Let me tell you why.
- Let me tell you!
- 750. You invited me out. We went to dinner.
I thought we felt something.
- 751. I trusted you. I even slept with you.
I can't believe I did.
- 752. And then you wouldn't return my calls.
You must be some kind of jerk.
- 753. Look, you're a real nice girl,
and I like you a lot...
- 754. but for right now, shut up.
- 755. I have something I have to tell you.
- 756. You know how people have
different sides to their personality?
- 757. Sometimes a person will have
to actually lead a different life.
- 758. Oh, my God, you're married.
- 759. No, I'm not married.
No, that's not it.
- 760. You see...
- 761. my life is really...
- 762. complex.
- 763. All right, listen. You know how
a normal person gets up...
- 764. and goes downstairs...
- 765. eats breakfast...
- 766. and kisses somebody goodbye
and goes to a job and...?
- 767. - You know.
- 768. No.
- 769. All right, look.
- 770. Vicki, what I'm trying to tell you is...
- 771. - Hey, it's okay. You can tell me.
- 772. What?
- 773. What I'm trying to tell you is...
- 774. See—
- 775. I'll be right back.
- 776. I'm Batman. I'm Batman.
- 777. Miss me?
- 778. Nice place you've got here.
Lots of space.
- 779. Vicki, we've really need to have a talk.
- 780. I'm very upset.
- 781. We were having dinner.
- 782. I was a man doing well
with a beautiful woman.
- 783. And without so much as an apology...
- 784. you ran off with that sideshow phony.
- 785. You know, Vick...
- 786. I've recently had a tragedy in my life.
- 787. Alicia threw herself out of the window.
- 788. Oh, my God.
- 789. But you can't make an omelet
without breaking some eggs.
- 790. Well, Miss Vale...
- 791. another rooster in the henhouse?
- 792. Take thy beak from out of my heart.
- 793. Bruce...
- 794. Bruce Wayne, n'est-ce pas?
- 795. Most of the time.
- 796. I know who you are.
- 797. Let me tell you
about this guy I know, Jack.
- 798. Mean kid. Bad seed.
- 799. - Hurt people.
- I like him already.
- 800. You know what the problem was?
- 801. He got sloppy. You know, crazy.
- 802. He started to lose it.
- 803. He had a head full of bad wiring,
- 804. Couldn't keep it straight up here.
- 805. He was the kind of guy...
- 806. who couldn't hear the train
until it was 2 feet from him.
- 807. You know what happened
to this guy, Jack?
- 808. Well...
- 809. he made mistakes.
- 810. Then he had his—
- 811. His lights out!
- 812. Now, you wanna get nuts?
Come on! Let's get nuts.
- 813. Tell me something, my friend...
- 814. you ever dance with the devil
in the pale moonlight?
- 815. - What?
- I always ask that of all my prey.
- 816. I just like the sound of it.
- 817. Never rub another man's rhubarb.
- 818. Why is it every time I come for you...
- 819. somebody always gets in the way?
- 820. I'll need a moment alone, boys.
- 821. I'm only laughing on the outside.
- 822. My smile is just skin deep.
- 823. If you could see inside,
I'm really crying.
- 824. You might join me for a weep.
- 825. Oh, Lord.
- 826. Oh, God.
- 827. You wouldn't believe it.
You really wouldn't.
- 828. Well, while you were out entertaining...
- 829. I've been here finding out
about your street corner.
- 830. Vale, I think your friend Wayne
is really screwed up.
- 831. More good news.
- 832. Here.
- 833. Oh, my God.
- 834. His parents were murdered
in that alley.
- 835. That's why he went there.
- 836. Poor kid watched the whole thing
happen in front of him.
- 837. Look at the look on the face.
- 838. It was the same in front of City Hall.
- 839. What do you suppose something
like this does to a kid?
- 840. Vale.
- 841. Don't get personal.
- 842. Alfred, did you get
the file on my parents?
- 843. It's on your table, sir.
- 844. Thank you.
- 845. What's on your mind, Alfred?
- 846. I have no wish to fill
my few remaining years...
- 847. grieving for the loss of old friends.
- 848. Or their sons.
- 849. The 200th anniversary birthday gala
has been indefinitely postponed.
- 850. We simply cannot guarantee
- 851. Joker here.
- 852. We got interference.
Call the OB unit.
- 853. Now, you fellas have said
some pretty mean things.
- 854. Some of which were true
under that fiend, Boss Grissom.
- 855. He was a thief and a terrorist.
- 856. On the other hand, he had
a tremendous singing voice.
- 857. He's dead now,
and he's left me in charge.
- 858. Now, I can be theatrical...
- 859. and maybe even a little rough.
- 860. But one thing I am not is a killer.
- 861. I'm an artist.
- 862. I love a good party.
- 863. So truce.
- 864. And I've got a surprise
for Gotham City.
- 865. At midnight, I will dump 20 million
in cash on the crowd.
- 866. Don't worry about me.
I've got enough.
- 867. We are not prepared
to discuss any deals.
- 868. You heard it, folks, 20 million.
- 869. And there will be entertainment.
- 870. The big duke-a-roo. With me in one corner
and in the other corner...
- 871. the man who has brought real terror
to Gotham City. Batman.
- 872. Can you hear me?
- 873. Just the two of us, mano a mano.
- 874. I have taken off my makeup.
- 875. Let's see if you can take off yours.
- 876. Tell me, kid...
- 877. you ever dance with the devil
by the pale moonlight?
- 878. Man, let's go!
- 879. Let's go, Jack!
- 880. See you around, kid.
- 881. Thanks.
- 882. Hi.
- 883. Tell me if I'm crazy...
- 884. but that wasn't just another night
for either of us, was it?
- 885. I mean, we both got to each other,
- 886. Why won't you let me in?
- 887. Why?
- 888. You got in.
- 889. I've loved you since I met you.
- 890. But I don't know what to think of all this.
I really don't.
- 891. Look, sometimes I don't know what
to think about this.
- 892. - It's just something I have to do.
- 893. Because nobody else can.
- 894. Look, I tried to avoid all this,
but I can't.
- 895. This is how it is.
- 896. It's not a perfect world.
- 897. It doesn't have to be a perfect world.
- 898. I just gotta know,
are we gonna try to love each other?
- 899. I'd like to.
- 900. But he's out there right now...
- 901. and I've gotta go to work.
- 902. Into the air, Junior Birdman!
- 903. Missed me!
- 904. Yeah! Watch me!
- 905. Get them. Take the pictures.
- 906. Gotham's greed.
- 907. And now, folks...
- 908. it's time for "Who Do You Trust?"
- 909. Money, money, money! Who do you trust?
- 910. Me? I'm giving away free money.
- 911. And where is the Batman?
- 912. He's at home, washing his tights.
- 913. Winged battle flies through the night
and finds me ready.
- 914. Bob, mask.
- 915. - Mask! Put them on now!
- 916. And now comes the part...
- 917. where I relieve you, the little people...
- 918. of the burden of your failed
and useless lives.
- 919. But as my plastic surgeon always said:
- 920. "If you gotta go, go with a smile."
- 921. Oh, my God. Smilex gas.
- 922. - He's gonna kill everybody!
- Get in the car.
- 923. - No, no!
- Get in the car!
- 924. Hurry!
- 925. Vale!
- 926. Hey, hey! No, no, no!
- 927. My balloons.
- 928. Those are my balloons.
- 929. He stole my balloons!
- 930. Why didn't somebody tell me
that he had one of those things?
- 931. Bob, gun.
- 932. Going to need a minute
or two alone, boys.
- 933. Come on, get out of here!
- 934. Come on, you gruesome son of a bitch.
Come to me.
- 935. Come on.
- 936. Darling.
- 937. I've got to get you to the church
- 938. Yes, sir.
- 939. Gotham City Cathedral.
Transportation for two.
- 940. - Right away, sir?
- Five minutes.
- 941. Five minutes.
- 942. - Better make it 10.
- Okay, 10 minutes.
- 943. All right, let's go, men. Let's go.
- 944. You men go that way. Follow me.
- 945. Let's go.
- 946. You men point those searchlights
up on the tower right now. Move! Move!
- 947. It can be truly said
that I have a bat in my belfry.
- 948. Shall we dance?
- 949. You know, without you,
I just wouldn't wanna go on.
- 950. It's as though we were made
for each other.
- 951. Beauty and the beast.
- 952. Of course, if anyone else calls you "beast,"
I'll rip their lungs out.
- 953. Mr. Joker...
- 954. you say such beautiful things.
- 955. And you're so powerful and purple!
- 956. Oh, I love purple.
- 957. Excuse me.
- 958. You ever dance with the devil
in the pale moonlight?
- 959. I'm going to kill you.
- 960. You idiot!
- 961. You made me, remember?
- 962. You dropped me
into that vat of chemicals.
- 963. That wasn't easy to get over.
And don't think that I didn't try.
- 964. I know you did.
- 965. You killed my parents.
- 966. What?
- 967. What are you talking about?
- 968. I made you. You made me first.
- 969. Hey, bat-brain, I mean, I was a kid
when I killed your parents.
- 970. When I say, "I made you,"
you gotta say, "You made me."
- 971. I mean, how childish can you get?
- 972. You wouldn't hit a guy
with glasses on, would you?
- 973. What are you laughing at?
- 974. Here, let me lend you a hand.
- 975. Lend you a hand.
- 976. They don't make them like they used to!
- 977. Do they, hey? Hey, Batsy?
- 978. There he is! Down there!
- 979. Go down!
- 980. Well, it's time to retire.
- 981. Feel free to drop in.
- 982. Sometimes I just kill myself!
- 983. - Come on. Now.
- Hold on!
- 984. Come on! Come on!
- 985. Our police have rounded up
all the Joker's men.
- 986. The reign of crime is over.
- 987. Public safety in Gotham City
is no longer a laughing matter.
- 988. Hey, Vale, aren't you covering
this press conference?
- 989. Nope.
- 990. Well, what about our Pulitzer Prize?
- 991. What about us?
- 992. What about your picture of Batman?
- 993. Take care, Allie.
- 994. We've received a letter
from Batman this morning.
- 995. "Please inform the citizens of Gotham...
- 996. that Gotham City's earned
a rest from crime.
- 997. But if the forces of evil
should rise again...
- 998. to cast a shadow
on the heart of the city...
- 999. call me."
- 1000. How do we call him?
- 1001. He gave us a signal.
- 1002. I thought champagne
would be in order, ma'am.
- 1003. Hi, Alfred.
- 1004. Mr. Wayne told me to tell you
that he might be a little late.
- 1005. I'm not a bit surprised.