- 1. This yacht is bringing...
- 2. a revolutionary scientific invention
to Gotham City.
- 3. On a peaceful
afternoon motor ride...
- 4. millionaire Bruce Wayne
and his youthful ward, Dick Grayson...
- 5. have been summoned back
to Wayne Manor...
- 6. by an urgent but anonymous
call for help.
- 7. The invention and its custodian...
- 8. are reported in grave danger
aboard the yacht.
- 9. Never ones
to shirk responsibility...
- 10. Bruce and Dick-
with characteristic speed and resolve-
- 11. descend promptly to the Batcave.
- 12. And then, as they have done
many times before...
- 13. as Batman and Robin—
- 14. courageous warriors
- 15. they are off, once again,
to the rescue.
- 16. Atomic batteries to power.
- 17. - Turbines to speed.
- Roger. Ready to move out.
- 18. Batmobile to airport.
- 19. Red alert. Prepare Batcopter
for immediate takeoff.
- 20. Batmobile approaching Batcopter.
- 21. Red alert! Red alert!
- 22. Gotham Tower to all aircraft
in the Gotham control zone.
- 23. Enter your holding pattern.
Enter your holding pattern.
- 24. Batcopter cleared for takeoff.
- 25. Gives a feller a good feelin'
to know they're up there doin' their job.
- 26. Bat drift angle: 0-3 to starboard.
- 27. Roger. Correcting to port.
- 28. 3-1-7.
- 29. Sink rate:.49.
- 30. - Drop bat ladder.
- Bat ladder away.
- 31. Lock computer on afterdeck.
Set automatic bat hold.
- 32. Watch out, Batman.
This could be tricky.
- 33. Have no fear, Robin.
I'll keep all my wits about me.
- 34. So long— for a minute.
- 35. Batman to Robin.
Ease off on the power.
- 36. Increase sink rate.
- 37. Roger. Wilco.
- 38. Take her up!
- 39. Holy sardine!
- 40. Hand me down
the shark repellent bat spray!
- 41. All right. Enough pictures.
- 42. This press conference
must be brief, ladies and gentlemen.
- 43. You're lucky
the Dynamic Duo will talk to you at all.
- 44. You there, Mr. Merrick,
of the Gotham City Times.
- 45. According to rumor, Batman...
- 46. a transatlantic yacht
approaching this city simply disappeared.
- 47. Nonsense. How can a yacht
- 48. - You mean it isn't true?
- I stand on my answer, Mr. Merrick.
- 49. Mr. Stanley of the Globe.
- 50. This yacht, I believe, belonged to
the famous Big Ben Distilleries.
- 51. That's right.
- 52. Isn't the firm's proprietor,
Commodore Schmidlapp, bringing with him...
- 53. a fantastic new invention
from the Big Ben's research laboratory?
- 54. Please, no more questions
about that ship.
- 55. What about that exploding shark?
- 56. Doubtless an unfortunate animal
who chanced to swallow a floating mine.
- 57. I wouldn't worry about that either,
Mr. Merrick. You there, Miss-
- 58. Comrade Kitanya
Irenya Tatanya Karenska Alisoff.
- 59. I am from the MoscowBugle.
- 60. You grace us with your presence.
May I be of service?
- 61. If you please to take off the mask
to give the better picture?
- 62. Great Scott! Batman take off his mask?
- 63. - The woman must be mad!
- Please, Chief O'Hara, all of you.
- 64. This young lady
is a stranger to our shores.
- 65. Her request is not unnatural,
however impossible to grant.
- 66. - Impossible?
- 67. If Robin and I were
to remove our masks...
- 68. the secret of our true identities
would be revealed.
- 69. Completely destroying
their value as ace crime fighters.
- 70. Sure, ma'am. Not even Commissioner Gordon
and meself know who they really are.
- 71. In fact, our own relatives
we live with don't know.
- 72. But your so curious costumes?
- 73. Don't be put off by them, ma'am. Under this
garb, we're perfectly ordinary Americans.
- 74. You are like the masked vigilantes
in the westerns, no?
- 75. Certainly not! Batman and Robin
are fully deputized agents of the law.
- 76. "Support your police. "
That's our message.
- 77. Well said, Robin.
- 78. And no better way to end
this press conference.
- 79. Thank you and good day.
- 80. - Batman—
- Never mind. Come on. Everybody out now.
- 81. We're all busy here.
Get 'em out.
- 82. A finejob, Batman.
You allayed their fears magnificently.
- 83. What else could I have done? If I'd told
the truth, panic would grip the city.
- 84. The truth. Sure,
and what is the truth?
- 85. A decoy- a strange,
- 86. that Commodore Schmidlapp
is in danger to lure me into a trap.
- 87. A fiendish attempt on Batman's life.
- 88. You mean, while they were luring you
to a watery grave...
- 89. the Commodore's yacht
was being hijacked someplace else?
- 90. - Precisely.
- And who behind it? Not a clue.
- 91. Tell me, Commissioner. What known
supercriminals are at largejust now?
- 92. I'll check at once, Batman.
- 93. Bonnie, let's have the latest status report
on known supercriminals at large.
- 94. - Yes, sir.
- Thank you, Bonnie.
- 95. Coming up, Batman, on the closed-circuit
TV screen. Come over here.
- 96. Man ]
- 97. Known supercriminals
not currently imprisoned.
- 98. - The Penguin.
- That pompous waddling master offoul play.
- 99. Maestro of a million
- 100. - The Joker!
- Devilish clown prince of crime.
- 101. If I only had a nickel
for every time he's baffled us.
- 102. - What? The Riddler loose too?
- So it seems.
- 103. Loose to plague us
with his criminal conundrums.
- 104. Gosh! And the Catwoman!
- 105. End of status report.
- 106. Could be any one of them,
but which one? What—
- 107. Which ones?
- 108. Pretty fishy what happened to me
on that ladder.
- 109. You mean, where there's a fish,
there could be a Penguin.
- 110. But wait.
It happened at sea.
- 111. See? "C" for Catwoman.
- 112. Yet, an exploding shark...
was pulling my leg.
- 113. - The Joker.
- It all adds up to a sinister riddle.
- 114. Riddle-er.
- 115. Oh, a thought strikes me...
- 116. so dreadful, I scarcely
dare give it utterance.
- 117. The four of them—
their forces combined.
- 118. - Holy nightmare!
- Batman, could it be?
- 119. I don't know.
- 120. But I think I know
where to find a clue.
- 121. Come on, Robin, to the Batcave.
- 122. We haven't one moment to lose!
- 123. - Ahoy, Catwoman.
- 124. How many times have I told you?
- 125. Never use my real name in public!
- 126. You and your trained
- 127. Faugh! Quack!
- 128. How should I know they'd have a can
of shark repellent bat spray handy?
- 129. Why, you sniveling sardine!
- 130. Why, you pompous puffed-up penguin!
- 131. Oh, friends, make peace.
- 132. Have a shake on me. -
- 133. Oh, a joke a day
keeps the gloom away.
- 134. Sic 'em, Hecate.
Scratch out their eyes.
- 135. Take away that ravenous panther!
- 136. So help me, Catwoman,
I'll feed him to the birds.
- 137. I'll incapacitate the beast
with my trick confetti.
- 138. United Underworld.
- 139. We're about as united
as the members...
- 140. of the United World headquarters
on Gotham East River.
- 141. - What's the matter with you all?
- She's right.
- 142. She's right. If we don't manage to
somehow swallow our supercriminal pride...
- 143. - I'm afraid we're going—
- Right, Mr. Riddler!
- 144. Quite right.
We must hang together...
- 145. or most assuredly
we shall hang separately.
- 146. Oh, and what a pity
that would be-
- 147. on the eve of the greatest criminal coup
anyone ever dreamed of.
- 148. Aha! How did it go, Catwoman?
- 149. Purr-fectly. Purr-fectly.
- 150. In my disguise as Kitka...
- 151. I penetrated their press conference.
- 152. - The fools are completely baffled.
- Eh, but undrowned.
- 153. Yes, unfortunately.
- 154. Batman's boots
didn't even look damp.
- 155. How's our prisoner?
- 156. - Still doesn't know he's been kidnapped?
- He hasn't the foggiest.
- 157. He just keeps ringing
for his confounded tea.
- 158. There he goes again.
- 159. - Take it to him, man.
- 160. Ah!
- 161. Ah!
- 162. Come in.
- 163. Your tea, Commodore Schmidlapp.
- 164. Oh, thank you, steward.
Jolly good service aboard this yacht.
- 165. - Oh, we strive to give satisfaction, sir.
- 166. I say, steward, your face
has the most ghastly pallor.
- 167. Are you sure you're getting enough
of the good old sea air?
- 168. Oh, my duties keep me
mostly undercover, sir.
- 169. Oh, too bad.
- 170. Any notion how much longer this yacht will
remain here, fogbound off the Grand Banks?
- 171. Oh, I really couldn't say, sir.
- 172. Oh, well. Gives me a jolly good chance
to get caught up on my Dickens.
- 173. Still, I would like to get
to Gotham City one of these days.
- 174. I have a deuced clever invention
with me, you know.
- 175. Stored down in the hold.
- 176. Should be worth millions
ofYankee dollars. Pip, pip!
- 177. Oh!
Well, "Pip! pip!" to you, sir.
- 178. If you wish anything
further, just ring.
- 179. Commodore Schmidlapp's
invention in our hands—
- 180. the whole world
almost literally in our grasp—
- 181. and Batman and Robin
still alive to block us.
- 182. Evertyhing "pip, pip"
with the prisoner, comrades.
- 183. - He hasn't a clue.
- No, but I bet the Dynamic Duo has.
- 184. - What?
- A clue on how we made that ship disappear.
- 185. - And when they solve that—
- Of course. They'll be out to investigate.
- 186. But we'll be there first.
If we hurry, that is. If we hurry.
- 187. Catwoman, you tend
to this headquarters.
- 188. Attention, you unfathomable finks!
- 189. - Yo-ho! - Yo-ho!
- Now hear this.
- 190. Call down to our secret
- 191. and prepare our submarine for sea!
- 192. - Yo-ho! - Yo-ho!
- Yo-ho what?
- 193. - Sir! -
Sir! - Quack.
- 194. Holy Merlin the magician!
Get set for a shock.
- 195. The bat camera was aimed right
at the yacht when it took this picture.
- 196. So, my strange hunch was right.
- 197. - I don't get it, Batman.
- Think, Robin. As you truly remarked...
- 198. no one can make
a seagoing vessel simply disappear-
- 199. provided it was ever
really there at all.
- 200. - You mean—
- Precisely, Robin.
- 201. The yacht we thought we saw
was a mere illusion...
- 202. a tricky projection akin
to the common desert mirage.
- 203. It deceived our naked eyes...
- 204. but was blocked by the bat camera's
polarized bat filter.
- 205. I think I know where that projection
came from too.
- 206. Observe- that bell buoy.
- 207. - What's the matter with it?
- Quite a lot, I fancy.
- 208. Let's see. The coordinates
of our position were 10.3 by 69-B.
- 209. Quickly. Feed those figures
into the navigational aid computer.
- 210. Roger.
- 211. Negative. No legal bell buoy at that position.
- 212. Ha! As I surmised.
- 213. An illegal projection buoy
- 214. Wow! Maybe the crooks
left fingerprints on it.
- 215. Good thinking, Robin.
Let's find out. To the Batboat. Fast!
- 216. - One thing I don't dig, Batman.
- 217. Ifthat ship was just a mirage,
what happened to the real one?
- 218. Taken to some secret
- 219. with every soul aboard save one.
- 220. - Commodore Schmidlapp?
- 221. For some baffling reason,
the hijackers needed him or his invention...
- 222. as part of their criminal scheme.
- 223. Keep an eye on the scope.
Watch for suspicious vessels.
- 224. I'm watching, Batman.
- 225. It looks like we've got
the whole ocean to ourselves.
- 226. Diving planes, Mr. Bluebeard.
Hoist her three degrees.
- 227. Yo-ho!
Hoist three degrees.
- 228. I certainly hope you know
what you're doing, Penguin.
- 229. Mr. Riddler, I ignore
your insipid insinuations!
- 230. Hmm! Hah!
- 231. You're leaning
on the current control.
- 232. Don't sound so bossy, if you please!
- 233. My dear sir, as the poet says...
- 234. "On land, you may command.
At sea, it is me. "
- 235. Whistle Piping ]
- Now hear this. Now hear this.
- 236. This is your captain speaking,
my fine-pinioned pirates.
- 237. We're approaching the tricky buoy.
- 238. Sharpen your cutlasses.
There may be skulduggery ahead!
- 239. - Yo-ho!
- 240. - What?
- Unidentified small craft bearing 1-1-3.
- 241. Mr. Bluebeard!
- 242. - Hold her steady! Up periscope!
- Yo-ho! Up periscope.
- 243. Great quivering icebergs!
Just as I hoped.
- 244. Watch your step, Robin.
- 245. An underwater shark cage-
the source of that fiendish fish.
- 246. What cruelty— stuffing a poor shark
with a ton ofdeadly T.N.T.
- 247. True. Nothing's sacred
to those devils.
- 248. Torpedoes! Torpedoes!
What are we waiting for?
- 249. Chain ofcommand, Mr. Riddler.
- 250. The Penguin runs a taut ship.
- 251. Now hear this, Mr. Joker.
Load the torpedo tubes.
- 252. Yo-ho!
- 253. Load torpedo tubes.
- 254. Salt and corrosion—
- 255. the infamous old enemies
of the crime fighter.
- 256. No prints here.
- 257. Look here, Batman.
- 258. That tricky mirage projector
must be behind this plate.
- 259. Wow! What a set
- 260. No wonder we were fooled.
- 261. Look, Robin.
- 262. Holy LongJohn Silver!
A pirate periscope.
- 263. They've spotted us.
Set torpedoes to automatic homing.
- 264. Yo-ho! Set torpedoes
to automatic homing.
- 265. You crazy bird.
Fire them off! Quickly!
- 266. Mr. Morgan, kindly activate...
- 267. the remote-control Penguin magnet
inside that buoy.
- 268. Yo-ho!
- 269. Hey!
- 270. - Holy glue pot! What's going on?
- The fiends!
- 271. They've converted this buoy
into a gigantic magnet.
- 272. It's got us by the metallic objects
in our utility belts.
- 273. Torpedo tubes armed.
- 274. Batman!
- 275. We're helpless
in this monstrous invisible grip.
- 276. Steady, Robin.
I see one hope.
- 277. What, Batman?
- 278. If I can just pry loose...
my utility-belt transmitter.
- 279. Mr. Joker, are you ready to fire?
- 280. Yo-ho!
Ready to fire.
- 281. Five, four, three, two—
- 282. - Fire one!
- Fire one!
- 283. Torpedoes!
- 284. If I can just reverse the polarity-
- 285. send out waves ofsuperenergy.
- 286. - What happened?
- Mr. Joker, fire two!
- 287. Fire two!
- 288. Here comes another one!
- 289. You and your reconditioned
war surplus torpedoes!
- 290. He must be using
a superenergy reverse polarizer.
- 291. Mr. Joker, fire three!
- 292. Fire three!
- 293. Here comes a third one, Batman!
- 294. Confound it!
The batteries are dead!
- 295. This one's getting through.
- 296. It is. It's getting through.
- 297. - Yo-ho-ho-ho!
- 298. Surface, Mr. Bluebeard.
- 299. Let us feast our eyes
on the watery remains.
- 300. Gosh, Batman, the nobility
of the almost-human porpoise.
- 301. True, Robin. It was noble
of that animal...
- 302. to hurl himself into the path
of that final torpedo.
- 303. He gave his life for ours.
- 304. Operator, please give me the Pentagon
in Washington, Navy Department.
- 305. Oops. Too bad.
- 306. Admiral Fangschliester's office.
- 307. Hello. Batman speaking.
- 308. - Oh, hello.
- Who is it?
- 309. - Batman.
- Oh, Batman.
- 310. Hello, Batman. Ahoy.
What can I do for you?
- 311. Hello, Admiral.
A routine question.
- 312. Have you recently sold any war surplus
submarines? And if so, to whom?
- 313. Oh, just a moment.
I'll have to look that up.
- 314. Keep practicing.
- 315. Answer affirmative, Batman.
- 316. We disposed of a war surplus submarine
last Friday— a preatomic model.
- 317. To some chap named P.N. Gwynne.
- 318. - P.N. Gwynne?
- The Penguin.
- 319. Did this P.N. Gwynne
leave an address?
- 320. No. Just a post office box number.
Would you like it?
- 321. No, thank you, Admiral.
You've been very helpful.
- 322. Avast and belay, Batman.
Your tone sounds rather grim.
- 323. We haven't done
anything foolish, have we?
- 324. Disposing of preatomic submarines...
- 325. to persons who don't even
leave their full addresses?
- 326. Good day, Admiral.
- 327. Gosh.
- 328. The Penguin in command
of a preatomic submarine.
- 329. Grave situation, Robin.
- 330. If only we knew what he was up to, what he was—
- 331. Holy Polaris!
- 332. From that submarine, no doubt.
- 333. That missile!
Look, it's written something.
- 334. A riddle—
in the form of a joke.
- 335. Let's race back
to headquarters, Robin.
- 336. You know what this means, don't you?
- 337. Our blackest fears confirmed.
- 338. Penguin, Joker, Riddler- those three
supercriminals, their forces combined.
- 339. For heaven only knows
what infamous objective.
- 340. It may be worse
than that, gentlemen.
- 341. - Worse?
- Saints alive. How can that be?
- 342. Look at this pair ofjoking riddles.
- 343. "What does a turkey do
when he flies upside down?"
- 344. - He gobbles up.
- Of course.
- 345. And number two.
- 346. "What weighs six ounces,
sits in a tree and is very dangerous?"
- 347. - A sparrow with a machine gun.
- Yes, of course.
- 348. Now combine both answers.
- 349. What kind ofcreature
would gobble up a bird in a tree?
- 350. Heaven protect us!
- 351. - A cat! - A cat!
- Yes, gentlemen.
- 352. The criminal catalyst
in this entire affair-
- 353. our old archenemy Catwoman.
- 354. Penguin, Joker, Riddler
and Catwoman too.
- 355. The sum of the angles of that rectangle
is too monstrous to contemplate.
- 356. We've been given
the plainest warning.
- 357. - They're working together to take over-
- To take over what, Batman?
- 358. - Gotham City?
- Any two of them might try that.
- 359. The whole country?
- 360. If it were three of them,
I would say yes. But four?
- 361. Their minimum objective must be...
- 362. the entire world.
- 363. The United World Building,
dear comrades in crime.
- 364. Our objective- the Security Council.
- 365. Sitting like fat birds in a tree,
just waiting to be snatched.
- 366. And you bungled it again!
- 367. Again the Dynamic Duo
escaped our trap!
- 368. Faugh! Passing porpoises
which intercept torpedoes.
- 369. There ought to be
a piscatorial statute.
- 370. Time is getting short!
- 371. We've got to get Batman
before he gets us.
- 372. Mmm. Perhaps I could lure him
into the fatal embrace...
- 373. of a giant exploding octopus.
- 374. You silly bird! They've just been through
one of your fishy explosions.
- 375. - And they're still in one piece.
- 376. I suppose they'll be broken up
by your moldyjokes.
- 377. - Aw—
- Shut up, all of you!
- 378. I see the way to do it.
- 379. We'll play each of our
treacherous trumps in one hand...
- 380. and we'll do it right here.
- 381. - How?
- How? The end.
- 382. The end. Oh, boy.
- 383. We shall spring them
- 384. through that window,
out over the sea...
- 385. and into the waiting arms...
- 386. of the Penguin's exploding octopus.
- 387. The trigger?
One of my riddles, of course.
- 388. And the bait?
- 389. You're mad, Riddler.
- 390. The minute Batman spots her,
he'll bop her with a batarang.
- 391. You don't understand, Joker.
- 392. She will be disguised as Kitka.
- 393. And as Kitka, she shall lure
some millionaire into a kidnap trap—
- 394. Of course. With a clever clue
- 395. Oh! Which will make Batman
race to the rescue.
- 396. Capital!
- 397. But who are we going to kidnap?
- 398. Ah. I know the perfect victim.
- 399. I know the perfect victim.
- 400. I know the perfect— Bruce Wayne...
- 401. the millionaire head of that disgusting
do-gooding Wayne Foundation.
- 402. Ooh! Delicious!
- 403. Just the sort of square citizen
Batman will dash to rescue.
- 404. - Then snap!
- Into the combination trap.
- 405. Purr-fect, Riddler.
- 406. Comrade Wayne, my name is Kitanya
Irenya Tatanya Karenska Alisoff.
- 407. I'm from the MoscowBugle.
My friends call me Kitka.
- 408. Kitka.
- 409. Kitka— a charming acronym.
- 410. Thank you, Comrade Wayne.
- 411. You know, the fame
of the Wayne Foundation...
- 412. is known from Leningrad
- 413. It works for peace
- 414. Why, your own picture has appeared
countless times in the MoscowBugle.
- 415. I'm most grateful.
I wasn't aware of that.
- 416. Oh, da. Da
- 417. You say you found these riddles
written on Wayne Foundation stationery...
- 418. slipped under the door
of your borrowed penthouse apartment?
- 419. Yes, Comrade Wayne.
That is why I brought them to you.
- 420. At first, I thought
it was some foolishness.
- 421. But then I remembered—
- 422. Is there not a bourgeois criminal cad
in this country called the Riddler...
- 423. who preys upon
the workers ofAmerica?
- 424. Yourjargon is quaint, Miss Kitka.
- 425. But, uh, there is
such a creature, I believe.
- 426. Well, what do we do now...
- 427. report these riddles
to your police or-
- 428. or perhaps to that
masked Cossack Batman?
- 429. Well, that's hardly
necessary at the moment.
- 430. Doubtless it's the work
ofsome harmless crank.
- 431. Nevertheless, shall we
give this matter...
- 432. further consideration
over dinner tonight?
- 433. Oh, what a purr-fectly lovely idea.
- 434. I'll telephone,
if you'll excuse me...
- 435. to cancel a previous engagement.
- 436. Alfred will see you to the door.
- 437. Do vechara.
- 438. Do vechara, Comrade Wayne.
- 439. - Oh, Alfred.
- Yes, sir?
- 440. See Miss Kitka out, please.
Take the service elevator.
- 441. - Meet me in the Batcave. Emergency.
- Very good, sir. Yes.
- 442. Robin, listen to these riddles.
- 443. Tell me if you
interpret them as I do.
- 444. One. What has yellow skin
- 445. - A ballpoint banana.
- 446. Two. What people
are always in a hurry?
- 447. Rushing people?
- 448. Right again. Now, what
would you say they mean?
- 449. Banana. Russian.
I've got it!
- 450. Someone Russian is gonna slip
on a banana peel and break their neck.
- 451. Precisely, Robin—
the only possible meaning.
- 452. A clear threat to Miss Kitka's life.
- 453. - Who?
- Miss Kitka.
- 454. The charming Russian journalist
for the Moscow Bugle.
- 455. In some baffling way, she must have
unwittingly stumbled on the criminals' plot.
- 456. What is the scheme, sir?
- 457. Tonight, Bruce Wayne
will go out on the town with Miss Kitka.
- 458. A not displeasing chore, sir.
- 459. Indeed, Alfred.
I've rarely met a girl...
- 460. who is such a potent argument
in favor of international relations.
- 461. However, you and Robin will dog
our footsteps in the Batmobile.
- 462. - You'll keep constant watch via the
micro-TV bat scanner. - Sure.
- 463. If the Riddler tries to make good
on his filthy threat—
- 464. I'll bash him brutally.
- 465. - Then we close in for the kill with the police.
- 466. - Alfred, do you have your driver's license?
- In my wallet, sir.
- 467. Good man. Drive carefully.
Good luck. Good hunting.
- 468. This may prove to be
a most memorable night.
- 469. This curtain which separates
our countries is so foolish.
- 470. If we could just
contrive some way...
- 471. of getting more deeply
involved with each other.
- 472. Oh, da.
- 473. Da We must search
for such a method.
- 474. I don't think it's right
for us to listen in to this, Alfred.
- 475. I mean, some things have to be private,
even for a crime fighter.
- 476. Your discretion is admirable,
Master Robin. Yes.
- 477. - Time for another check-in, is
it not, Master Robin? - Roger.
- 478. Commissioner.
- 479. Yes? Oh.
- 480. Yes, Boy Wonder?
- 481. Batmobile position:
Gotham Central Park...
- 482. proceeding south on West Drive.
- 483. About to pass
Benedict Arnold Monument.
- 484. Great Scott.
Still in the park?
- 485. It's been almost an hour.
What the devil are they doing?
- 486. No comment, Commissioner.
- 487. Let's just say, no sign
- 488. Uh, yes, I understand.
- 489. I've just thought
of a clever ruse, Commissioner.
- 490. Send Chief O'Hara up to the roof
and have him flash the bat signal.
- 491. Well, certainly, if you
say so, Boy Wonder. But why?
- 492. When the crooks see it, they'll figure
Batman and I are racing to headquarters.
- 493. Thinking we're out of the way
might make them play into our hands...
- 494. with an immediate strike
at Miss Kitka.
- 495. Clever. Devilishly clever.
- 496. Thank you, sir.
Batmobile over and out.
- 497. Right.
- 498. Chief O'Hara. Dash to the roof.
Flash the bat signal.
- 499. Yes, sir.
- 500. Oh, shades ofSmolensk.
What is that?
- 501. Incredible. I don't-
- 502. Ah, of course.
- 503. - How clever.
- Clever, Comrade Wayne?
- 504. I mean clever device, Miss Kitka.
- 505. It's the famous bat signal flashed
from the roofof police headquarters.
- 506. - Oh. - Batman and Robin must be
racing there now in response to it.
- 507. Then you did get the police
to call them in.
- 508. - For my protection.
- 509. - Yes. Yes.
- 510. How purr-fectly wonderful of you.
- 511. Mmm! I close my eyes...
- 512. and I dream of all those
- 513. racing over the steppes
on their brutal mission.
- 514. Mmm.
- 515. How strange.
- 516. I close my eyes,
and I dream of something...
- 517. quite astonishingly different.
- 518. Da, da.
Keep your eyes closed.
- 519. Continue with this dream.
- 520. The dream continues.
- 521. Da. Da.
- 522. - It approaches a climax.
- No. Nyet.
- 523. Not so fast.
Be more slow.
- 524. - Miss Kitka.
- 525. May I see you home
to that borrowed penthouse apartment?
- 526. He swallowed the cat bait.
- 527. And now to make him bat bait.
- 528. Finks Morgan, Bluebeard and Quetch,
break out thejet-pack umbrellas.
- 529. Yo-ho-ho, sir!
- 530. Excuse me.
- 531. I'll slip into something more comfortable
while your cocoa is warming.
- 532. Is that prudent, Master Robin?
- 533. Our instructions were to keep watch.
- 534. I don't know
about prudent, Alfred...
- 535. but it's sure as heck
the only decent thing to do.
- 536. Hmm. Perhaps.
- 537. Yes. Yes.
- 538. Ah! There it is!
- 539. Seventy-third Street and Concord Avenue.
- 540. Follow me.
Down to the terrace.
- 541. Ho!
- 542. "And all my days are trances...
- 543. "and all my nightly dreams are
where thy dark eye glances...
- 544. and where thy footstep gleams. "
- 545. Comrade Wayne.
- 546. Edgar Allan Poe, Miss Kitka.
- 547. "To One in Paradise. "
- 548. About that dream you had.
- 549. - Do we dare?
- Why not?
- 550. Yes, of course.
- 551. Ofwhat use is a dream
if not a blueprint for courageous action?
- 552. Oh! Into action, comrade. Mmm!
- 553. Miss Kitka, I have
the strangest feeling...
- 554. that I am about to be
utterly and madly carried away.
- 555. - Aha! Aha!
- This is a kidnapping!
- 556. Ourjoke's on you!
- 557. You filthy criminals.
- 558. - Much as one deplores indiscretion, Master Robin—
- You're right, Alfred.
- 559. I'll just take one tiny, tiny peek.
- 560. - Holy demolition!
- Bless my dustpan!
- 561. Cover the exits, Alfred.
I'll race up there with my bat rope.
- 562. Very good, sir.
- 563. Holy Halloween!
- 564. Huh! Strange. Batman should
have been here hours ago.
- 565. Perhaps you didn't leave
a clear-enough clue in your apartment.
- 566. Of course I did. I can't understand
why Batman hasn't dashed into our trap.
- 567. It's all set.
- 568. He puts his foot here,
my secretjack-in-the-box fires...
- 569. shooting him out through the window,
out over the sea...
- 570. into the waiting arms
of Penguin's exploding octopus.
- 571. What a deliciously humorous trajectory.
- 572. And nothing to link us
with the crime.
- 573. Quacking ] -
- 574. You abominable outlaws.
- 575. What have you done with Miss Kitka?
- 576. She's quite well, Mr. Wayne.
- 577. I swear, by heaven,
if you've harmed that girl...
- 578. I'll kill you all.
- 579. I'll rend you limb from limb!
- 580. Mr. Wayne, must you be so impulsive?
- 581. Where is she, Catwoman?
Show me Miss Kitka...
- 582. or I'll wreck this place
with my dying breath!
- 583. Blindfold the captive.
- 584. Lead him down the labyrinthine path
to Chamber 17.
- 585. Two minutes. No more.
- 586. - Turn on the secret microphone.
- 587. Quiet. Quiet.
- 588. - Miss Kitka.
- Comrade Wayne.
- 589. - Are you all right?
- Da. Da.
- 590. I'll curse myself
forever, Miss Kitka.
- 591. This nasty soup we're in
is largely of my own brewing.
- 592. If I hadn't let your beauty
lull me off guard—
- 593. Off guard, comrade?
- 594. There are some things
I cannot disclose, Miss Kitka.
- 595. Suffice it to say that we're in the hands
of the underworld's most vicious foursome.
- 596. I fear we have...
- 597. nothing to look forward to but death.
- 598. It may not be that black,
- 599. Batman and Robin are
probably hot on our trail.
- 600. From something
I happened to overhear...
- 601. I think we are merely
bait for Batman.
- 602. Once he is in their trap,
we will be released.
- 603. A slender hope, Miss Kitka.
- 604. More slender than you can know.
- 605. You do not think
Batman will get here?
- 606. That I cannot say.
- 607. Tell me. Did you
overhear any mention...
- 608. ofany other prisoner
of this rotten gang?
- 609. No, I did not, Mr. Wayne.
- 610. Who on earth could you mean?
- 611. Commodore Schmidlapp
ringing for his tea.
- 612. Oh, just a thought.
It doesn't matter.
- 613. A speedy escape is our only hope.
- 614. A moment while I think.
- 615. I've got it. Why didn't I think of it sooner?
- 616. Ofwhat, Comrade Wayne?
- 617. Up my left sleeve...
- 618. I have a tiny radio transmitter
strapped above my elbow.
- 619. - What a curious device to carry.
- Not at all, Miss Kitka.
- 620. Capitalists like myself
who carry large sums of money...
- 621. often have such safety contrivances.
- 622. If I can just get at it.
- 623. Quickly. Wiggle around back to back.
- 624. Maybe you can reach it
with your fingers.
- 625. Da.
- 626. Let's get him.
- 627. There we are.
- 628. You think you're pretty clever,
don't you, Mr. Wayne?
- 629. Clever enough to outwit you,
you stupid thug.
- 630. Well, we'll see about that.
- 631. Dear colleagues,
let's see what's strapped...
- 632. about this fellow's left elbow,
- 633. Credulous creatures!
- 634. I knew you'd be listening in.
- 635. I told you that fish story
about a radio-
- 636. Get him, you mollycoddles!
- 637. Miss— Miss Kitka, where are you?
- 638. - Great day in the morning! -
Bruce! - Hello, Commissioner.
- 639. Come on, Dick. We're late for that
important demonstration at the fish hatchery.
- 640. - Roger.
- Excuse us, Commissioner.
- 641. Great Scott! You can't dash off now.
Where were you held? How did you escape?
- 642. I escaped with the aid of Batman.
- 643. Thank goodness the Caped Crusader
got there in time!
- 644. Yes, Commissioner, and you'd better
return to police headquarters.
- 645. He may wish to call you there.
Good day, Commissioner.
- 646. And so, my fine,
- 647. you have heard
my astounding proposal.
- 648. What do you say?
- 649. What do you say?
- 650. One thing is certain.
Our strike cannot be postponed.
- 651. We're at the mercy
of the Gotham River tide.
- 652. Riddler's right for once.
- 653. It's now or never
if we're to get through the channel.
- 654. Well, make up your minds!
The Batman will never come here now.
- 655. But the police will— any instant.
- 656. So, to the Penguin's
- 657. is it yes or no?
- 658. I say it's crazy.
- 659. But I say let's try it. We have to do
something to get Batman out of the way.
- 660. Oh, go ahead, Penguin.
- 661. Mr. Joker, would you
drop one of your little dream pills...
- 662. into Commodore Schmidlapp's tea?
- 663. - Mmm! Presto!
- And then carry him down to the submarine.
- 664. Yo-ho!
- 665. Mr. Riddler, will you
tell Mr. Quetch...
- 666. - to fetch the five guinea pigs?
- 667. - Quetch, fetch the five guinea pigs.
- 668. Oh. Oh.
- 669. Yo-ho-ho, sir!
- 670. Now, my fine, fishy finks...
- 671. you see here Commodore Schmidlapp's
pièce de no résistance—
- 672. an instant whiskey maker.
- 673. Waiting for us
to put it to more universal use.
- 674. Now, don't be afraid.
- 675. You will feel nothing.
- 676. Now I am merely going
to temporarily extract...
- 677. every bit of moisture
from your body.
- 678. It's a painless operation.
- 679. Oh!
- 680. - Delightful!
- 681. Catwoman— Catwoman,
will you get a dustpan...
- 682. and put every one of them
very carefully into a separate vial?
- 683. Ooh! All right.
- 684. Mr. Riddler, would you prepare
the submarine to get under way...
- 685. while I prepare
a demolition charge...
- 686. ofterrifying thrust
to welcome the police?
- 687. - Where do we meet?
- United World Building.
- 688. - United World Building.
- On the Gotham East River.
- 689. - East River.
- Thirty-ninth floor.
- 690. - Thirty-ninth floor.
- I'll be waiting at the elevator.
- 691. - One hour? One hour.
- One hour.
- 692. Here you are.
- 693. Oh, what mere
criminal genius, Catwoman!
- 694. Who else but a genius
could conceive such an audacious plot...
- 695. to deliberately trick
Batman and Robin...
- 696. into inviting me
into their secret Batcave...
- 697. with five dehydrated,
death-dealing pirates at my command?
- 698. Careful, careful.
- 699. Every one of them has a mother.
- 700. Out batarang and bat rope.
- 701. When you think, Batman,
with people in weird outfits—
- 702. like the four supercrooks
hanging around here—
- 703. it's amazing someone hasn't already
reported this place to the police.
- 704. It's a low neighborhood,
full of rumpots.
- 705. They're used to curious sights,
which they attribute to alcoholic delusions.
- 706. Gosh, drinking's sure
a filthy thing, isn't it?
- 707. - I'd rather be dead than unable
to trust my own eyes. - Uh-huh.
- 708. You're right, honey.
There was somebody walking up the wall.
- 709. Ready with superblinding
- 710. - Away, Robin. Away!
- 711. Come on, Batman!
- 712. Miss Kitka! Miss Ki—
- 713. Oh!
- 714. Quick! Everyone,
flee for your lives!
- 715. Into the street!
- 716. Look out! Look out, please!
- 717. Some days, you just can't
get rid of a bomb.
- 718. Batman!
- 719. Batman!
- 720. It's all right, Robin.
- 721. Holy heart failure!
- 722. Fortunately, I was able to dispose
of that bomb in the nick oftime...
- 723. and shield myself
behind these heavy iron pipes.
- 724. You risked your life to save
that riffraff in the bar?
- 725. They may be drinkers, Robin,
but they're also human beings...
- 726. and may be salvaged.
- 727. I had to do it.
- 728. But we've lost the trail of that angelic
Miss Kitka. Stranded without a clue.
- 729. Ahoy there.
- 730. Could you chaps
direct me to a policeman?
- 731. Commodore Schmidlapp's the name.
- 732. Big Ben Distilleries, you know.
- 733. Holy costume party.
That's the Penguin.
- 734. - Obviously.
- What's his game? I wonder.
- 735. What's your game, Penguin?
- 736. Penguin?
- 737. No, my name's Schmidlapp,
old boy. Schmidlapp.
- 738. Your fingerprints
will settle that hash, Penguin.
- 739. We'll check them against
our mobile anticrime file in our Batmobile.
- 740. Let's see your hands.
- 741. Looks like...
- 742. Yes, I scorched myself
pressing a waistcoast.
- 743. I do believe that the attending surgeon
did use plastic, yes.
- 744. It looks bad, Batman.
This brassy bird has us buffaloed.
- 745. Not quite, Robin.
- 746. There's one method of identification
which no criminal can evade.
- 747. Retinal eye patterns?
- 748. He's right, Robin.
The pattern of myriad, tiny blood vessels...
- 749. in the retina of the eye—
as individual as a fingerprint.
- 750. But don't you have a complete
anti-criminal eye pattern master file...
- 751. in your fabulous Batcave?
- 752. - Why don't you take me there?
- You'd be willing to submit yourselfto a test?
- 753. Why, of course. It might be an amusing
experience, don't you know?
- 754. Stand by to catch him, Robin.
I'll give him the bat gas.
- 755. Oh-ho, what's that?
- 756. A harmless anesthetic...
- 757. necessary to prevent you
from seeing the entrance to the Batcave.
- 758. Ifanyone knew that, they could pierce
the secret of our true identities.
- 759. Ready, Commodore?
- 760. Oh, I say. What deucedly strange customs
you colonials have. What?
- 761. Well, I'm ready.
- 762. To the Batmobile. This could be
the break we've been looking for.
- 763. He's the Penguin, all right.
- 764. - I wonder why he let us bring him here.
- We'll soon find out.
- 765. - I'll set up the anticrime eye checker.
- Stay on the alert, Robin.
- 766. After I give him the bat wake,
we must be ready for anything.
- 767. Well, now.
- 768. Oh, it's you.
- 769. We're here, eh? I see.
- 770. Oh, I s- This—
- 771. Oh, say!
- 772. This is extraordinary!
- 773. It's absolutely extraordinary!
- 774. I must say that your laboratory...
- 775. exceeds the limits
of man's wildest imagination!
- 776. Absolutely. And could I trouble you
for a glass ofwater?
- 777. Your bat gas seems to have
left me with a somewhat...
- 778. parched sensation.
- 779. Over there. The drinking water
dispenser is clearly marked.
- 780. Oh, yeah. Thank you.
Thank you, sir.
- 781. Thank you very much, sir.
Thank you, sir.
- 782. Help yourself, Commodore.
Slake your thirst.
- 783. You'll have worse than a parched sensation
when we're through with you.
- 784. Perhaps, perhaps.
But I am appalled by your attitude, sir.
- 785. I mean, condemning me before the facts
have been authoritatively established.
- 786. Yes. You are abrogating...
- 787. my constitutional rights, sir.
- 788. - All set, Batman.
- Come on, Penguin.
- 789. Time to rip off your false feathers.
- 790. Coming, Batman.
- 791. I am coming at once.
- 792. - Holy hallucination!
- I wish it were, Robin, but it's not.
- 793. It's five dehydrated pirates-
- 794. At 'em, me hearties!
Shiver 'em from stem to stern!
- 795. Yo-ho-ho, sir!
- 796. Attack them, you faltering fink!
- 797. The pirates- they're gone!
Popped like balloons! How'd it happen?
- 798. Whoever dehydrated those pirates...
- 799. could not have foreseen
their accidental rehydration...
- 800. with the heavy water
we use in recharging the atomic pile!
- 801. Which naturally left them
in a highly unstable condition!
- 802. You saw it yourself, Robin.
- 803. The slightest impact
- 804. to instantly reduce them
- 805. Antimatter?
- 806. You mean they...
won't be coming back?
- 807. No, Robin.
- 808. Not in this universe.
- 809. Let that be an object lesson...
- 810. in the dangers oftampering with
the laws of Mother Nature.
- 811. My apologies, Commodore Schmidlapp.
- 812. It's clear that I've done you
a cruel injustice.
- 813. - You have?
- You were duped, brainwashed.
- 814. The criminals planted
those dehydrated thugs on your person.
- 815. You were obviously
under the influence...
- 816. of posthypnotic suggestion
when you rehydrated them.
- 817. Come on down, Commodore.
- 818. Another sniffof bat gas,
and we'll all return to the city.
- 819. Are you sure you didn't hurt your head
in that fight, Batman?
- 820. Perfectly.
Swallow this pill.
- 821. Now give our friend here
a whiff of bat wake.
- 822. Good morning.
- 823. - What's wrong, Batman?
- Manifold pressure's dropping.
- 824. I think we'd better stop and check.
- 825. Sorry about that, Commodore.
- 826. - Won't take a minute.
- Oh, yes, it will!
- 827. Hey!
- 828. Yo-ho!
- 829. And away we go in my "Birdmobile"!
One side, Caped Crusader.
- 830. - You okay, Robin? - I sure am, Batman,
thanks to that anti-Penguin gas pill.
- 831. The pompous fool.
He's played right into our hands.
- 832. Quickly.
Via Batcycle to the Batcopter.
- 833. We'll track him
to the gang's new hideout.
- 834. Disengage go-cart.
- 835. Bat scanner tracking
the stolen Batmobile perfectly.
- 836. Port, two degrees.
And steady as she goes.
- 837. Yo-ho!
Port, two degrees!
- 838. We're almost there.
- 839. - Oh. Oh.
- Hey, Riddler, where are you going?
- 840. To fire offsome more
of my riddling clues, of course.
- 841. - Riddler!
- 842. You're mad, Riddler.
Penguin's finished Batman by now.
- 843. That miserable, waddling
mountebank of a bird.
- 844. He couldn't finish a bag of popcorn.
- 845. So, say Penguin failed. All the more reason
not to hand them your crazy clues.
- 846. Oh, but I must. I must.
Oh, outwitting Batman is my sole delight...
- 847. myjoy, my heaven on Earth...
- 848. my very paradise.
- 849. Riddler! Come back!
- 850. Stolen Batmobile turning.
- 851. Now heading up Gotham River Drive.
- 852. Voilà.
- 853. Batman! Polaris-type missile
coming right for us.
- 854. Hold tight, Robin.
This may be tricky.
- 855. - Damage?
- The tail rotor disengaged.
- 856. Brace yourself, Robin.
We're going down.
- 857. This could be the end.
- 858. Ooh, ooh!
- 859. Now to find my riddling Polaris skywriter.
- 860. Look! Look!
The Dynamic Duo!
- 861. Giggling ] -
- 862. I got them.
I got them.
- 863. Holy horseshoe!
- 864. Some luck, landing right on top
of a bed offoam rubber.
- 865. Yes, Robin.
I'd say the odds against it...
- 866. would make even
the most reckless gambler cringe.
- 867. True, I did think I'd spotted it
out of the corner of my eye.
- 868. But—
- 869. That crazy missile- It wrote
two more riddles before it blew up.
- 870. "What goes up white...
- 871. and comes down yellow and white"?
- 872. An egg!
- 873. "How do you divide seventeen apples...
- 874. among sixteen people?"
- 875. - Make applesauce.
- Apples into applesauce—
- 876. a unification
into one smooth mixture.
- 877. An egg—
nature's perfect container...
- 878. the container
of all our hopes for the future.
- 879. A unification
and a container of hope?
- 880. - United World Organization!
- Precisely, Robin!
- 881. And there's a special meeting
of the Security Council today.
- 882. - Ifwhat I fear is true-
- Wow! Let's commandeer a taxi!
- 883. No, Robin!
Not at this time ofday.
- 884. Luckily, we're in tip-top condition.
- 885. It'll be faster if we run.
- 886. We are now passing
through the grotto.
- 887. - Depth: a halffathom.
- Engines: dead slow astern.
- 888. Yo-ho! Dead slow astern.
- 889. Ah, good.
Just as the blueprints said—
- 890. an abandoned construction elevator.
- 891. Hecate, sniffout the weak spot.
- 892. - I hope Penguin made it.
- Who needs him?
- 893. Stand back.
- 894. Hey! Can't you read?
- 895. Fine day for penguins.
Looks like rain.
- 896. Yo-ho! My criminal coconspirators.
We meet as planned.
- 897. And, no thanks to you,
the Dynamic Duo has been silenced forever.
- 898. — And blasted out of the sky
by an incredible coincidence.
- 899. Oh, the delicious irony of it all.
- 900. Downed by one of Riddler's
- 901. Oh, happy happenstance!
- 902. Now, hold your breath
as we cross the hall.
- 903. There are still lingering traces
of my finely filtered Penguin gas.
- 904. Holy marathon!
I'm getting a stitch, Batman.
- 905. Let's hope it's a stitch in time, Robin,
that saves nine-
- 906. the nine members
of the United World Security Council.
- 907. Gentlemen, it is the considered opinion
of Her Majesty's Government...
- 908. that we pursue peace at all costs.
- 909. Our poor, united world in microcosm.
- 910. I'm afraid
they'll find our humor very, very dry.
- 911. Gentlemen, my country
understands your position...
- 912. but in the interest of peace,
- 913. We are doing everything in our possible power.
- 914. Gentlemen, it has always
been our policy to maintain—
- 915. Quickly now!
Each one in a separate vial.
- 916. And, boys, don't anybody sneeze.
- 917. Emergency!
Seal this building!
- 918. - And turn off the ventilating system!
- Robin's right.
- 919. The entire Security Council
may have been dehydrated.
- 920. Emergency, operator!
Emergency! Get me security!
- 921. Emergency, operator!
Emergency! Get me security!
- 922. Up. Up. Up. Up. Up. "Up"!
- 923. Surrender, you criminals!
- 924. United Underworld is through!
- 925. Faugh! What's this, an apparition?
- 926. One false move, and you'll find out.
We'll hurl our batarangs.
- 927. - To the elevator, boys!
- Catwoman, stop, I said!
- 928. I don't think you mean that, Batman.
- 929. Miss Kitka dies
if you take one more step. Go!
- 930. This way, Robin!
- 931. The Security Council— gone!
- 932. What a fiendishly clever way to abduct
nine men from a heavily guarded building.
- 933. Where does that elevator go?
- 934. Downstairs, obviously...
- 935. to an abandoned submarine dock
on the river.
- 936. Holy Captain Nemo!
- 937. They'll head for sea
by way of Short Island Sound.
- 938. We have just one
trump card left, Robin.
- 939. Heaven help the world if we fail.
- 940. Come on!
- 941. Down periscope.
We're over the last bar.
- 942. Mr. Bluebeard,
all engines full ahead.
- 943. Yo-ho! All engines full ahead.
- 944. What a delightful haul!
- 945. Mr. Riddler, will you kindly prepare
those nine radio ransom messages?
- 946. - All right, all right.
- And none of your stupid riddles. Do you understand?
- 947. Make those messages plain.
- 948. One billion dollars cash
from each country.
- 949. Precisely, Mr. Riddler.
To be delivered to our secret island...
- 950. by the horde oftrained
- 951. which I shall presently provide.
- 952. But no whimsical embellishments, please.
Make those messages clear!
- 953. "Make those messages clear!"
- 954. - Ooh, it's like a dream, Pengy, sweet.
- 955. Nothing can stop us now.
- 956. Sonar contact.
- 957. Yo-ho! Sonar contact.
- 958. Small craft at 7,500.
- 959. What? Small craft?
- 960. It's moving incredibly fast, sir.
Range is down to 7,000.
- 961. - It's the Batboat!
- Faugh! Drat that cockleshell!
- 962. Mr. Bluebeard, steady
on the diving plane.
- 963. Yo-ho! Steady on the diving plane!
- 964. I'll man the torpedo tubes.
- 965. Mr. Riddler, would you fire
a surface-to-surface underwater homing missile?
- 966. Ah.
- 967. Missile ahoy!
- 968. Looks like it has a homing device
in its nose cone.
- 969. Get ready for evasive action.
- 970. No use, Batman.
It's tracking us.
- 971. Here. Take my bat radio.
I looked it up this morning.
- 972. That class of missile receives
on a wavelength of 164.1.
- 973. 164.1.
- 974. Quickly now.
Send a jamming signal.
- 975. It's starting down.
- 976. Farewell, Batman!
- 977. Farewell, Dynamic Duo!
- 978. Holy bikini!
That was close!
- 979. Yo-ho. Small craft still closing.
- 980. 4,000.
- 981. Faugh! They know
how to jam our missiles!
- 982. Up to periscope depth!
- 983. Yo-ho! Up to periscope depth!
- 984. - 3,500.
- Get the bat charge launcher.
- 985. Roger.
- 986. They hold nine of the world's
most eminent men in dehydrated condition.
- 987. Our task is not to sink that sub,
merely to drive it to the surface.
- 988. Forward torpedo tubes.
Prepare to fire.
- 989. Yo-ho! Forward torpedo tubes.
Prepare to fire.
- 990. Five, four...
- 991. three, two—
- 992. Torpedoes-
- 993. Torpedoes— fire!
- 994. Torpedoes away!
- 995. - Dive, Mr. Bluebeard! Dive!
- Yo-ho, dive!
- 996. - Down periscope!
- Down periscope.
- 997. Torpedo wakes off the port bow.
- 998. Prepare to fire bat charges
in front oftorpedoes when in range.
- 999. Faugh!
That's too soon!
- 1000. It must be bat charges.
- 1001. And that means there'll be more
of the dreaded things meant for us!
- 1002. You dismal bird! You and your submarine!
Where's it got us now?
- 1003. Shut up, you feline floozy!
- 1004. Mr. Bluebeard, down 30 fathoms!
- 1005. Run silent, run deep.
- 1006. They're diving. Engines
being switched to silent.
- 1007. We'll circle them
at full-thrust bat speed...
- 1008. - diminishing radius ofcurvature.
- 1009. - Mr. Quetch, what's their bearing?
- I don't know, sir.
- 1010. - What? You don't know?
- It's changing every second.
- 1011. They must be circling us.
- 1012. Fire when ready, Robin.
- 1013. I'll maintain curvature.
- 1014. Yo-ho!
- 1015. Compartments "A,"B" and "C"
taking green water, sir.
- 1016. Penguin! Penguin,
you know I can't take water!
- 1017. Oh, you cowardly kitten!
Do you want to live forever?
- 1018. This bird has flown around the bend.
- 1019. To cuckoo-land!
- 1020. Oh, Riddler, Joker, do something!
- 1021. We weren't meant for a watery grave!
- 1022. Now hear this!
Now hear this!
- 1023. Blow all tanks!
- 1024. All right, Robin.
Cut the bat charges.
- 1025. They've had about enough, I imagine.
- 1026. You're right.
They're surfacing fast.
- 1027. - Estimated surfacing position?
- 200 yards.
- 1028. Here they come.
- 1029. Diminishing speed.
Ready to board.
- 1030. Roger.
- 1031. Pirates, to arms!
- 1032. Prepare to repel boarders!
- 1033. Strike your colors, Penguin.
- 1034. Faugh! We have not yet
begun to fight! Attack!
- 1035. Bon voyage, pussy.
- 1036. Holy heartbreak!
- 1037. Batman, I—
- 1038. Say no more, Robin.
It could be... compromising.
- 1039. Of course.
- 1040. It's just...
one of those things...
- 1041. in the life ofevery crime fighter.
- 1042. It means nothing.
Snap on the bat cuffs.
- 1043. Batman to Coast Guard.
Batman to Coast Guard.
- 1044. There is a drifting submarine
two miles east ofSandy Nose Lightship.
- 1045. It's filled with human jetsam.
- 1046. Come. Take it in tow.
- 1047. Robin, over here. Look.
- 1048. The hope of the entire world,
tottering on the brink.
- 1049. Holy almost.
- 1050. To think it might have been
shattered before our very eyes.
- 1051. - Up with you, Catwoman.
- The service on this yacht has gone to pot.
- 1052. Where's my tea? And— What the devil is this,
the captain's costume party?
- 1053. Holyjumble!
Where's the hope of the world now?
- 1054. Bat centrifuge at 32,000 r. P. m. 's.
- 1055. Increase angstrom force in vector "X."
- 1056. Vector "X" up one notch.
- 1057. - Yes, Commissioner?
- What progress, Batman? Is there hope?
- 1058. There's always hope.
You should know that, sir.
- 1059. Of course, of course. But...
do you think you and the Boy Wonder...
- 1060. can separate that mingled dust
back into its constituent members?
- 1061. With all modesty, Commissioner...
- 1062. if we can't, heaven knows who can.
- 1063. Truer words were never spoken.
- 1064. Howdy, y'all.
How are those boys doin' up there?
- 1065. Batman says there's hope, Mr. President.
What more can one ask?
- 1066. The whole free world is waitin'.
- 1067. Tell Batman I salute him
and wish him luck.
- 1068. I needn't tell you, ladies and gentlemen,
with whom I have just spoken.
- 1069. Ready for separation.
- 1070. All right then.
I'll activate the computer link...
- 1071. feed in the various
ethnic and national factors.
- 1072. - Batman, wait a minute.
- 1073. Well, with the way
the world is and all...
- 1074. don't you think maybe we ought to try
to improve those factors...
- 1075. kind of reshuffle them a little?
- 1076. No, Robin. No.
- 1077. It's not for mortals like us
to tamper with the laws of nature.
- 1078. Indeed, in this very Batcave,
you saw a ghastly example...
- 1079. ofwhat happens
when one tries to do that.
- 1080. Gosh, yes, Batman.
When you put it that way-
- 1081. Here we go.
- 1082. Yes?
- 1083. Separation accomplished.
Ready to rehydrate.
- 1084. Separation accomplished.
- 1085. They are ready to rehydrate.
- 1086. We are ready to rehydrate.
- 1087. They are ready to rehydrate.
- 1088. A solemn moment, gentlemen.
- 1089. One ofdedication
and humble supplication.
- 1090. Robin...
- 1091. prepare to rehydrate.
- 1092. Ready to rehydrate.
- 1093. Turn on the water faucet.
- 1094. Success! Success!
- 1095. They've done it!
They've done it!
- 1096. Success! Success!
We've done it! We've done it!
- 1097. Success! Success!
- 1098. What the-
- 1099. Gentlemen, in the interest of peace,
you must hear me out. You must—
- 1100. Gentlemen, gentlemen,
it is absolutely imperative...
- 1101. that we limit
our conversation to peace.
- 1102. Écoutez. Écoutez, s'il vous plaît.
- 1103. Who knows, Robin?
- 1104. This strange mixing of minds...
- 1105. may be the greatest single service
ever performed for humanity.
- 1106. Let's go.
- 1107. Through the window.
We'll use our bat ropes.
- 1108. Our job is finished.