1. This yacht is bringing...Copy !req
2. a revolutionary scientific invention
to Gotham City.Copy !req
3. On a peaceful
afternoon motor ride...Copy !req
4. millionaire Bruce Wayne
and his youthful ward, Dick Grayson...Copy !req
5. have been summoned back
to Wayne Manor...Copy !req
6. by an urgent but anonymous
call for help.Copy !req
7. The invention and its custodian...Copy !req
8. are reported in grave danger
aboard the yacht.Copy !req
9. Never ones
to shirk responsibility...Copy !req
10. Bruce and Dick-
with characteristic speed and resolve-Copy !req
11. descend promptly to the Batcave.Copy !req
12. And then, as they have done
many times before...Copy !req
13. as Batman and Robin—Copy !req
14. courageous warriors
against crime-Copy !req
15. they are off, once again,
to the rescue.Copy !req
16. Atomic batteries to power.Copy !req
17. - Turbines to speed.
- Roger. Ready to move out.Copy !req
18. Batmobile to airport.Copy !req
19. Red alert. Prepare Batcopter
for immediate takeoff.Copy !req
20. Batmobile approaching Batcopter.Copy !req
21. Red alert! Red alert!Copy !req
22. Gotham Tower to all aircraft
in the Gotham control zone.Copy !req
23. Enter your holding pattern.
Repeat: Enter your holding pattern.Copy !req
24. Batcopter cleared for takeoff.Copy !req
25. Gives a feller a good feelin'
to know they're up there doin' their job.Copy !req
26. Bat drift angle: 0-3 to starboard.Copy !req
27. Roger. Correcting to port.Copy !req
28. Altitude: 3-1-7.Copy !req
29. Sink rate:.49.Copy !req
30. - Drop bat ladder.
- Bat ladder away.Copy !req
31. Lock computer on afterdeck.
Set automatic bat hold.Copy !req
32. Watch out, Batman.
This could be tricky.Copy !req
33. Have no fear, Robin.
I'll keep all my wits about me.Copy !req
34. So long— for a minute.Copy !req
35. Batman to Robin.
Ease off on the power.Copy !req
36. Increase sink rate.Copy !req
37. Roger. Wilco.Copy !req
38. Take her up!Copy !req
39. Holy sardine!Copy !req
40. Hand me down
the shark repellent bat spray!Copy !req
41. All right. Enough pictures.Copy !req
42. This press conference
must be brief, ladies and gentlemen.Copy !req
43. You're lucky
the Dynamic Duo will talk to you at all.Copy !req
44. You there, Mr. Merrick,
of the Gotham City Times.Copy !req
45. According to rumor, Batman...Copy !req
46. a transatlantic yacht
approaching this city simply disappeared.Copy !req
47. Nonsense. How can a yacht
"simply" disappear?Copy !req
48. - You mean it isn't true?
- I stand on my answer, Mr. Merrick.Copy !req
49. Mr. Stanley of the Globe.Copy !req
50. This yacht, I believe, belonged to
the famous Big Ben Distilleries.Copy !req
51. That's right.Copy !req
52. Isn't the firm's proprietor,
Commodore Schmidlapp, bringing with him...Copy !req
53. a fantastic new invention
from the Big Ben's research laboratory?Copy !req
54. Please, no more questions
about that ship.Copy !req
55. What about that exploding shark?Copy !req
56. Doubtless an unfortunate animal
who chanced to swallow a floating mine.Copy !req
57. I wouldn't worry about that either,
Mr. Merrick. You there, Miss-Copy !req
58. Comrade Kitanya
Irenya Tatanya Karenska Alisoff.Copy !req
59. I am from the MoscowBugle.Copy !req
60. You grace us with your presence.
May I be of service?Copy !req
61. Ifyou please to take off the mask
to give the better picture?Copy !req
62. Great Scott! Batman take off his mask?Copy !req
63. - The woman must be mad!
- Please, Chief O'Hara, all of you.Copy !req
64. This young lady
is a stranger to our shores.Copy !req
65. Her request is not unnatural,
however impossible to grant.Copy !req
66. - Impossible?
- Indeed.Copy !req
67. If Robin and I were
to remove our masks...Copy !req
68. the secret of our true identities
would be revealed.Copy !req
69. Completely destroying
their value as ace crime fighters.Copy !req
70. Sure, ma'am. Not even Commissioner Gordon
and meself know who they really are.Copy !req
71. In fact, our own relatives
we live with don't know.Copy !req
72. But your so curious costumes?Copy !req
73. Don't be put off by them, ma'am. Under this
garb, we're perfectly ordinary Americans.Copy !req
74. You are like the masked vigilantes
in the westerns, no?Copy !req
75. Certainly not! Batman and Robin
are fully deputized agents of the law.Copy !req
76. "Support your police."
That's our message.Copy !req
77. Well said, Robin.Copy !req
78. And no better way to end
this press conference.Copy !req
79. Thank you and good day.Copy !req
80. - Batman—
- Never mind. Come on. Everybody out now.Copy !req
81. We're all busy here.
Get 'em out.Copy !req
82. A fine job, Batman.
You allayed their fears magnificently.Copy !req
83. What else could I have done? If I'd told
the truth, panic would grip the city.Copy !req
84. The truth. Sure,
and what is the truth?Copy !req
85. A decoy- a strange,
anonymous warning...Copy !req
86. that Commodore Schmidlapp
is in danger to lure me into a trap.Copy !req
87. A fiendish attempt on Batman's life.Copy !req
88. You mean, while they were luring you
to a watery grave...Copy !req
89. the Commodore's yacht
was being hijacked someplace else?Copy !req
90. - Precisely.
- And who behind it? Not a clue.Copy !req
91. Tell me, Commissioner. What known
supercriminals are at large just now?Copy !req
92. I'll check at once, Batman.Copy !req
93. Bonnie, let's have the latest status report
on known supercriminals at large.Copy !req
94. - Yes, sir.
- Thank you, Bonnie.Copy !req
95. Coming up, Batman, on the closed-circuit
TV screen. Come over here.Copy !req
96. Man ]
Status report.Copy !req
97. Known supercriminals
not currently imprisoned.Copy !req
98. - The Penguin.
- That pompous waddling master of foul play.Copy !req
99. Maestro of a million
criminal umbrellas.Copy !req
100. - The Joker!
- Devilish clown prince of crime.Copy !req
101. If I only had a nickel
for every time he's baffled us.Copy !req
102. - What? The Riddler loose too?
- So it seems.Copy !req
103. Loose to plague us
with his criminal conundrums.Copy !req
104. Gosh! And the Catwoman!Copy !req
105. End of status report.Copy !req
106. Could be any one of them,
but which one? What—Copy !req
107. Which ones?Copy !req
108. Pretty fishy what happened to me
on that ladder.Copy !req
109. You mean, where there's a fish,
there could be a Penguin.Copy !req
110. But wait.
It happened at sea.Copy !req
111. See? "C" for Catwoman.Copy !req
112. Yet, an exploding shark...
was pulling my leg.Copy !req
113. - The Joker.
- It all adds up to a sinister riddle.Copy !req
114. Riddle-er.
Riddler?Copy !req
115. Oh, a thought strikes me...Copy !req
116. so dreadful, I scarcely
dare give it utterance.Copy !req
117. The four of them—
their forces combined.Copy !req
118. - Holy nightmare!
- Batman, could it be?Copy !req
119. I don't know.Copy !req
120. But I think I know
where to find a clue.Copy !req
121. Come on, Robin, to the Batcave.Copy !req
122. We haven't one moment to lose!Copy !req
123. - Ahoy, Catwoman.
- Imbecile!Copy !req
124. How many times have I told you?Copy !req
125. Never use my real name in public!Copy !req
126. You and your trained
exploding shark.Copy !req
127. Faugh! Quack!Copy !req
128. How should I know they'd have a can
of shark repellent bat spray handy?Copy !req
129. Why, you sniveling sardine!Copy !req
130. Why, you pompous puffed-up penguin!Copy !req
131. Oh, friends, make peace.Copy !req
132. Have a shake on me. -Copy !req
133. Oh, a joke a day
keeps the gloom away.Copy !req
134. Sic 'em, Hecate.
Scratch out their eyes.Copy !req
135. Take away that ravenous panther!Copy !req
136. So help me, Catwoman,
I'll feed him to the birds.Copy !req
137. I'll incapacitate the beast
with my trick confetti.Copy !req
138. United Underworld.Copy !req
139. We're about as united
as the members...Copy !req
140. of the United World headquarters
on Gotham East River.Copy !req
141. - What's the matter with you all?
- She's right.Copy !req
142. She's right. Ifwe don't manage to
somehow swallow our supercriminal pride...Copy !req
143. - I'm afraid we're going—
- Right, Mr. Riddler!Copy !req
144. Quite right.
We must hang together...Copy !req
145. or most assuredly
we shall hang separately.Copy !req
146. Oh, and what a pity
that would be-Copy !req
147. on the eve of the greatest criminal coup
anyone ever dreamed of.Copy !req
148. Aha! How did it go, Catwoman?Copy !req
149. Purr-fectly. Purr-fectly.Copy !req
150. In my disguise as Kitka...Copy !req
151. I penetrated their press conference.Copy !req
152. - The fools are completely baffled.
- Eh, but undrowned.Copy !req
153. Yes, unfortunately.Copy !req
154. Batman's boots
didn't even look damp.Copy !req
155. How's our prisoner?Copy !req
156. - Still doesn't know he's been kidnapped?
- He hasn't the foggiest.Copy !req
157. He just keeps ringing
for his confounded tea.Copy !req
158. There he goes again.Copy !req
159. - Take it to him, man.
- Oh!Copy !req
160. Ah!Copy !req
161. Ah!Copy !req
162. Come in.Copy !req
163. Your tea, Commodore Schmidlapp.Copy !req
164. Oh, thank you, steward.
Jolly good service aboard this yacht.Copy !req
165. - Oh, we strive to give satisfaction, sir.
- Ye-Copy !req
166. I say, steward, your face
has the most ghastly pallor.Copy !req
167. Are you sure you're getting enough
of the good old sea air?Copy !req
168. Oh, my duties keep me
mostly undercover, sir.Copy !req
169. Oh, too bad.
Too bad.Copy !req
170. Any notion how much longer this yacht will
remain here, fogbound off the Grand Banks?Copy !req
171. Oh, I really couldn't say, sir.Copy !req
172. Oh, well. Gives me a jolly good chance
to get caught up on my Dickens.Copy !req
173. Still, I would like to get
to Gotham City one of these days.Copy !req
174. I have a deuced clever invention
with me, you know.Copy !req
175. Stored down in the hold.Copy !req
176. Should be worth millions
ofYankee dollars. Pip, pip!Copy !req
177. Oh!
Well, "Pip! pip!" to you, sir.Copy !req
178. If you wish anything
further, just ring.Copy !req
179. Commodore Schmidlapp's
invention in our hands—Copy !req
180. the whole world
almost literally in our grasp—Copy !req
181. and Batman and Robin
still alive to block us.Copy !req
182. Everything "pip, pip"
with the prisoner, comrades.Copy !req
183. - He hasn't a clue.
- No, but I bet the Dynamic Duo has.Copy !req
184. - What?
- A clue on how we made that ship disappear.Copy !req
185. - And when they solve that—
- Of course. They'll be out to investigate.Copy !req
186. But we'll be there first.
If we hurry, that is. If we hurry.Copy !req
187. Catwoman, you tend
to this headquarters.Copy !req
188. Attention, you unfathomable finks!Copy !req
189. - Yo-ho! - Yo-ho!
- Now hear this.Copy !req
190. Call down to our secret
river-bottom dock...Copy !req
191. and prepare our submarine for sea!Copy !req
192. - Yo-ho! - Yo-ho!
- Yo-ho what?Copy !req
193. - Sir! -
Sir! - Quack.Copy !req
194. Holy Merlin the magician!
Get set for a shock.Copy !req
195. The bat camera was aimed right
at the yacht when it took this picture.Copy !req
196. So, my strange hunch was right.Copy !req
197. - I don't get it, Batman.
- Think, Robin. As you truly remarked...Copy !req
198. no one can make
a seagoing vessel simply disappear-Copy !req
199. provided it was ever
really there at all.Copy !req
200. - You mean—
- Precisely, Robin.Copy !req
201. The yacht we thought we saw
was a mere illusion...Copy !req
202. a tricky projection akin
to the common desert mirage.Copy !req
203. It deceived our naked eyes...Copy !req
204. but was blocked by the bat camera's
polarized bat filter.Copy !req
205. I think I know where that projection
came from too.Copy !req
206. Observe- that bell buoy.Copy !req
207. - What's the matter with it?
- Quite a lot, I fancy.Copy !req
208. Let's see. The coordinates
of our position were 10.3 by 69-B.Copy !req
209. Quickly. Feed those figures
into the navigational aid computer.Copy !req
210. Roger.Copy !req
211. Negative. No legal bell buoy at that position.Copy !req
212. Ha! As I surmised.Copy !req
213. An illegal projection buoy
cleverly camouflaged.Copy !req
214. Wow! Maybe the crooks
left fingerprints on it.Copy !req
215. Good thinking, Robin.
Let's find out. To the Batboat. Fast!Copy !req
216. - One thing I don't dig, Batman.
- Oh?Copy !req
217. If that ship was just a mirage,
what happened to the real one?Copy !req
218. Taken to some secret
island hideaway...Copy !req
219. with every soul aboard save one.Copy !req
220. - Commodore Schmidlapp?
- Precisely.Copy !req
221. For some baffling reason,
the hijackers needed him or his invention...Copy !req
222. as part of their criminal scheme.Copy !req
223. Keep an eye on the scope.
Watch for suspicious vessels.Copy !req
224. I'm watching, Batman.Copy !req
225. It looks like we've got
the whole ocean to ourselves.Copy !req
226. Diving planes, Mr. Bluebeard.
Hoist her three degrees.Copy !req
227. Yo-ho!
Hoist three degrees.Copy !req
228. I certainly hope you know
what you're doing, Penguin.Copy !req
229. Mr. Riddler, I ignore
your insipid insinuations!Copy !req
230. Hmm! Hah!
Mr. Joker!Copy !req
231. You're leaning
on the current control.Copy !req
232. Don't sound so bossy, if you please!Copy !req
233. My dear sir, as the poet says...Copy !req
234. "On land, you may command.
At sea, it is me. "Copy !req
235. Whistle Piping ]
- Now hear this. Now hear this.Copy !req
236. This is your captain speaking,
my fine-pinioned pirates.Copy !req
237. We're approaching the tricky buoy.Copy !req
238. Sharpen your cutlasses.
There may be skulduggery ahead!Copy !req
239. - Yo-ho!
- What?Copy !req
240. - What?
- Unidentified small craft bearing 1-1-3.Copy !req
241. Mr. Bluebeard!Copy !req
242. - Hold her steady! Up periscope!
- Yo-ho! Up periscope.Copy !req
243. Great quivering icebergs!
Just as I hoped.Copy !req
244. Watch your step, Robin.Copy !req
245. An underwater shark cage-
the source of that fiendish fish.Copy !req
246. What cruelty— stuffing a poor shark
with a ton of deadly T.N.T.Copy !req
247. True. Nothing's sacred
to those devils.Copy !req
248. Torpedoes! Torpedoes!
What are we waiting for?Copy !req
249. Chain ofcommand, Mr. Riddler.Copy !req
250. The Penguin runs a taut ship.Copy !req
251. Now hear this, Mr. Joker.
Load the torpedo tubes.Copy !req
252. Yo-ho!Copy !req
253. Load torpedo tubes.Copy !req
254. Salt and corrosion—Copy !req
255. the infamous old enemies
of the crime fighter.Copy !req
256. No prints here.Copy !req
257. Look here, Batman.Copy !req
258. That tricky mirage projector
must be behind this plate.Copy !req
259. Wow! What a set
of superpower lenses.Copy !req
260. No wonder we were fooled.Copy !req
261. Look, Robin.Copy !req
262. Holy LongJohn Silver!
A pirate periscope.Copy !req
263. They've spotted us.
Set torpedoes to automatic homing.Copy !req
264. Yo-ho! Set torpedoes
to automatic homing.Copy !req
265. You crazy bird.
Fire them off! Quickly!Copy !req
266. Mr. Morgan, kindly activate...Copy !req
267. the remote-control Penguin magnet
inside that buoy.Copy !req
268. Yo-ho!Copy !req
269. Hey!Copy !req
270. - Holy glue pot! What's going on?
- The fiends!Copy !req
271. They've converted this buoy
into a gigantic magnet.Copy !req
272. It's got us by the metallic objects
in our utility belts.Copy !req
273. Torpedo tubes armed.Copy !req
274. Batman!Copy !req
275. We're helpless
in this monstrous invisible grip.Copy !req
276. Steady, Robin.
I see one hope.Copy !req
277. What, Batman?Copy !req
278. If I can just pry loose...
my utility-belt transmitter.Copy !req
279. Mr. Joker, are you ready to fire?Copy !req
280. Yo-ho!
Ready to fire.Copy !req
281. Five, four, three, two—Copy !req
282. - Fire one!
- Fire one!Copy !req
283. Torpedoes!Copy !req
284. If I can just reverse the polarity-Copy !req
285. send out waves of superenergy.Copy !req
286. - What happened?
- Mr. Joker, fire two!Copy !req
287. Fire two!Copy !req
288. Here comes another one!Copy !req
289. You and your reconditioned
war surplus torpedoes!Copy !req
290. He must be using
a superenergy reverse polarizer.Copy !req
291. Mr. Joker, fire three!Copy !req
292. Fire three!Copy !req
293. Here comes a third one, Batman!Copy !req
294. Confound it!
The batteries are dead!Copy !req
295. This one's getting through.Copy !req
296. It is. It's getting through.Copy !req
297. - Yo-ho-ho-ho!
- Yo-ho-ho-ho!Copy !req
298. Surface, Mr. Bluebeard.
Surface.Copy !req
299. Let us feast our eyes
on the watery remains.Copy !req
300. Gosh, Batman, the nobility
of the almost-human porpoise.Copy !req
301. True, Robin. It was noble
of that animal...Copy !req
302. to hurl himself into the path
of that final torpedo.Copy !req
303. He gave his life for ours.Copy !req
304. Operator, please give me the Pentagon
in Washington, Navy Department.Copy !req
305. Oops. Too bad.Copy !req
306. Admiral Fangschliester's office.Copy !req
307. Hello. Batman speaking.Copy !req
308. - Oh, hello.
- Who is it?Copy !req
309. - Batman.
- Oh, Batman.Copy !req
310. Hello, Batman. Ahoy.
What can I do for you?Copy !req
311. Hello, Admiral.
A routine question.Copy !req
312. Have you recently sold any war surplus
submarines? And if so, to whom?Copy !req
313. Oh, just a moment.
I'll have to look that up.Copy !req
314. Keep practicing.Copy !req
315. Answer affirmative, Batman.Copy !req
316. We disposed of a war surplus submarine
last Friday— a preatomic model.Copy !req
317. To some chap named P.N. Gwynne.Copy !req
318. - P.N. Gwynne?
- The Penguin.Copy !req
319. Did this P.N. Gwynne
leave an address?Copy !req
320. No. Just a post office box number.
Would you like it?Copy !req
321. No, thank you, Admiral.
You've been very helpful.Copy !req
322. Avast and belay, Batman.
Your tone sounds rather grim.Copy !req
323. We haven't done
anything foolish, have we?Copy !req
324. Disposing of preatomic submarines...Copy !req
325. to persons who don't even
leave their full addresses?Copy !req
326. Good day, Admiral.Copy !req
327. Gosh.Copy !req
328. The Penguin in command
of a preatomic submarine.Copy !req
329. Grave situation, Robin.Copy !req
330. If only we knew what he was up to, what he was—Copy !req
331. Holy Polaris!Copy !req
332. From that submarine, no doubt.Copy !req
333. That missile!
Look, it's written something.Copy !req
334. A riddle—
in the form of a joke.Copy !req
335. Let's race back
to headquarters, Robin.Copy !req
336. You know what this means, don't you?Copy !req
337. Our blackest fears confirmed.Copy !req
338. Penguin, Joker, Riddler- those three
supercriminals, their forces combined.Copy !req
339. For heaven only knows
what infamous objective.Copy !req
340. It may be worse
than that, gentlemen.Copy !req
341. - Worse?
- Saints alive. How can that be?Copy !req
342. Look at this pair of joking riddles.Copy !req
343. "What does a turkey do
when he flies upside down?"Copy !req
344. - He gobbles up.
- Of course.Copy !req
345. And number two.Copy !req
346. "What weighs six ounces,
sits in a tree and is very dangerous?"Copy !req
347. - A sparrow with a machine gun.
- Yes, of course.Copy !req
348. Now combine both answers.Copy !req
349. What kind of creature
would gobble up a bird in a tree?Copy !req
350. Heaven protect us!Copy !req
351. - A cat! - A cat!
- Yes, gentlemen.Copy !req
352. The criminal catalyst
in this entire affair-Copy !req
353. our old archenemy Catwoman.Copy !req
354. Penguin, Joker, Riddler
and Catwoman too.Copy !req
355. The sum of the angles of that rectangle
is too monstrous to contemplate.Copy !req
356. We've been given
the plainest warning.Copy !req
357. - They're working together to take over-
- To take over what, Batman?Copy !req
358. - Gotham City?
- Any two of them might try that.Copy !req
359. The whole country?Copy !req
360. If it were three of them,
I would say yes. But four?Copy !req
361. Their minimum objective must be...Copy !req
362. the entire world.Copy !req
363. The United World Building,
dear comrades in crime.Copy !req
364. Our objective- the Security Council.Copy !req
365. Sitting like fat birds in a tree,
just waiting to be snatched.Copy !req
366. And you bungled it again!Copy !req
367. Again the Dynamic Duo
escaped our trap!Copy !req
368. Faugh! Passing porpoises
which intercept torpedoes.Copy !req
369. There ought to be
a piscatorial statute.Copy !req
370. Time is getting short!Copy !req
371. We've got to get Batman
before he gets us.Copy !req
372. Mmm. Perhaps I could lure him
into the fatal embrace...Copy !req
373. of a giant exploding octopus.Copy !req
374. You silly bird! They've just been through
one of your fishy explosions.Copy !req
375. - And they're still in one piece.
- Indeed?Copy !req
376. I suppose they'll be broken up
by your moldy jokes.Copy !req
377. - Aw—
- Shut up, all of you!Copy !req
378. I see the way to do it.Copy !req
379. We'll play each of our
treacherous trumps in one hand...Copy !req
380. and we'll do it right here.Copy !req
381. - How?
- How? The end.Copy !req
382. The end. Oh, boy.Copy !req
383. We shall spring them
from the Joker's jack-in-the-box...Copy !req
384. through that window,
out over the sea...Copy !req
385. and into the waiting arms...Copy !req
386. of the Penguin's exploding octopus.Copy !req
387. The trigger?
One of my riddles, of course.Copy !req
388. And the bait?
You, Catwoman.Copy !req
389. You're mad, Riddler.Copy !req
390. The minute Batman spots her,
he'll bop her with a batarang.Copy !req
391. You don't understand,Joker.Copy !req
392. She will be disguised as Kitka.Copy !req
393. And as Kitka, she shall lure
some millionaire into a kidnap trap—Copy !req
394. Of course. With a clever clue
pointing here.Copy !req
395. Oh! Which will make Batman
race to the rescue.Copy !req
396. Capital!Copy !req
397. But who are we going to kidnap?Copy !req
398. Ah. I know the perfect victim.Copy !req
399. I know the perfect victim.Copy !req
400. I know the perfect— Bruce Wayne...Copy !req
401. the millionaire head of that disgusting
do-gooding Wayne Foundation.Copy !req
402. Ooh! Delicious!Copy !req
403. Just the sort of square citizen
Batman will dash to rescue.Copy !req
404. - Then snap!
- Into the combination trap.Copy !req
405. Purr-fect, Riddler.
Purr-fect. Mmm!Copy !req
406. Comrade Wayne, my name is Kitanya
Irenya Tatanya Karenska Alisoff.Copy !req
407. I'm from the Moscow Bugle.
My friends call me Kitka.Copy !req
408. Kitka.Copy !req
409. Kitka— a charming acronym.Copy !req
410. Thank you, Comrade Wayne.Copy !req
411. You know, the fame
of the Wayne Foundation...Copy !req
412. is known from Leningrad
to Kamchatka.Copy !req
413. It works for peace
and understanding.Copy !req
414. Why, your own picture has appeared
countless times in the MoscowBugle.Copy !req
415. I'm most grateful.
I wasn't aware of that.Copy !req
416. Oh, da. DaCopy !req
417. You say you found these riddles
written on Wayne Foundation stationery...Copy !req
418. slipped under the door
of your borrowed penthouse apartment?Copy !req
419. Yes, Comrade Wayne.
That is why I brought them to you.Copy !req
420. At first, I thought
it was some foolishness.Copy !req
421. But then I remembered—Copy !req
422. Is there not a bourgeois criminal cad
in this country called the Riddler...Copy !req
423. who preys upon
the workers ofAmerica?Copy !req
424. Your jargon is quaint, Miss Kitka.Copy !req
425. But, uh, there is
such a creature, I believe.Copy !req
426. Well, what do we do now...Copy !req
427. report these riddles
to your police or-Copy !req
428. or perhaps to that
masked Cossack Batman?Copy !req
429. Well, that's hardly
necessary at the moment.Copy !req
430. Doubtless it's the work
of some harmless crank.Copy !req
431. Nevertheless, shall we
give this matter...Copy !req
432. further consideration
over dinner tonight?Copy !req
433. Oh, what a purr-fectly lovely idea.Copy !req
434. I'll telephone,
if you'll excuse me...Copy !req
435. to cancel a previous engagement.Copy !req
436. Alfred will see you to the door.Copy !req
437. Do vechara.Copy !req
438. Do vechara, Comrade Wayne.Copy !req
439. - Oh, Alfred.
- Yes, sir?Copy !req
440. See Miss Kitka out, please.
Take the service elevator.Copy !req
441. - Meet me in the Batcave. Emergency.
- Very good, sir. Yes.Copy !req
442. Robin, listen to these riddles.Copy !req
443. Tell me if you
interpret them as I do.Copy !req
444. One. What has yellow skin
and writes?Copy !req
445. - A ballpoint banana.
- Right.Copy !req
446. Two. What people
are always in a hurry?Copy !req
447. Rushing people?
Russians.Copy !req
448. Right again. Now, what
would you say they mean?Copy !req
449. Banana. Russian.
I've got it!Copy !req
450. Someone Russian is gonna slip
on a banana peel and break their neck.Copy !req
451. Precisely, Robin—
the only possible meaning.Copy !req
452. A clear threat to Miss Kitka's life.Copy !req
453. - Who?
- Miss Kitka.Copy !req
454. The charming Russian journalist
for the Moscow Bugle.Copy !req
455. In some baffling way, she must have
unwittingly stumbled on the criminals' plot.Copy !req
456. What is the scheme, sir?Copy !req
457. Tonight, Bruce Wayne
will go out on the town with Miss Kitka.Copy !req
458. A not displeasing chore, sir.Copy !req
459. Indeed, Alfred.
I've rarely met a girl...Copy !req
460. who is such a potent argument
in favor of international relations.Copy !req
461. However, you and Robin will dog
our footsteps in the Batmobile.Copy !req
462. - You'll keep constant watch via the
micro-TV bat scanner. - Sure.Copy !req
463. If the Riddler tries to make good
on his filthy threat—Copy !req
464. I'll bash him brutally.Copy !req
465. - Then we close in for the kill with the police.
- Precisely.Copy !req
466. - Alfred, do you have your driver's license?
- In my wallet, sir.Copy !req
467. Good man. Drive carefully.
Good luck. Good hunting.Copy !req
468. This may prove to be
a most memorable night.Copy !req
469. This curtain which separates
our countries is so foolish.Copy !req
470. If we could just
contrive some way...Copy !req
471. of getting more deeply
involved with each other.Copy !req
472. Oh, da.Copy !req
473. Da We must search
for such a method.Copy !req
474. I don't think it's right
for us to listen in to this, Alfred.Copy !req
475. I mean, some things have to be private,
even for a crime fighter.Copy !req
476. Your discretion is admirable,
Master Robin. Yes.Copy !req
477. - Time for another check-in, is
it not, Master Robin? - Roger.Copy !req
478. Commissioner.Copy !req
479. Yes? Oh.Copy !req
480. Yes, Boy Wonder?Copy !req
481. Batmobile position:
Gotham Central Park...Copy !req
482. proceeding south on West Drive.Copy !req
483. About to pass
Benedict Arnold Monument.Copy !req
484. Great Scott.
Still in the park?Copy !req
485. It's been almost an hour.
What the devil are they doing?Copy !req
486. No comment, Commissioner.Copy !req
487. Let's just say, no sign
of criminal activity.Copy !req
488. Uh, yes, I understand.Copy !req
489. I've just thought
of a clever ruse, Commissioner.Copy !req
490. Send Chief O'Hara up to the roof
and have him flash the bat signal.Copy !req
491. Well, certainly, if you
say so, Boy Wonder. But why?Copy !req
492. When the crooks see it, they'll figure
Batman and I are racing to headquarters.Copy !req
493. Thinking we're out of the way
might make them play into our hands...Copy !req
494. with an immediate strike
at Miss Kitka.Copy !req
495. Clever. Devilishly clever.Copy !req
496. Thank you, sir.
Batmobile over and out.Copy !req
497. Right.Copy !req
498. Chief O'Hara. Dash to the roof.
Flash the bat signal.Copy !req
499. Yes, sir.Copy !req
500. Oh, shades ofSmolensk.
What is that?Copy !req
501. Incredible. I don't-Copy !req
502. Ah, of course.Copy !req
503. - How clever.
- Clever, Comrade Wayne?Copy !req
504. I mean clever device, Miss Kitka.Copy !req
505. It's the famous bat signal flashed
from the roof of police headquarters.Copy !req
506. - Oh. - Batman and Robin must be
racing there now in response to it.Copy !req
507. Then you did get the police
to call them in.Copy !req
508. - For my protection.
- Hmm?Copy !req
509. - Yes. Yes.
- Oh.Copy !req
510. How purr-fectly wonderful of you.Copy !req
511. Mmm! I close my eyes...Copy !req
512. and I dream of all those
savage Cossacks...Copy !req
513. racing over the steppes
on their brutal mission.Copy !req
514. Mmm.Copy !req
515. How strange.Copy !req
516. I close my eyes,
and I dream of something...Copy !req
517. quite astonishingly different.Copy !req
518. Da, da.
Keep your eyes closed.Copy !req
519. Continue with this dream.Copy !req
520. The dream continues.Copy !req
521. Da. Da.Copy !req
522. - It approaches a climax.
- No. Nyet.Copy !req
523. Not so fast.
Be more slow.Copy !req
524. - Miss Kitka.
- Hmm?Copy !req
525. May I see you home
to that borrowed penthouse apartment?Copy !req
526. He swallowed the cat bait.Copy !req
527. And now to make him bat bait.Copy !req
528. Finks Morgan, Bluebeard and Quetch,
break out the jet-pack umbrellas.Copy !req
529. Yo-ho-ho, sir!Copy !req
530. Excuse me.Copy !req
531. I'll slip into something more comfortable
while your cocoa is warming.Copy !req
532. Is that prudent, Master Robin?Copy !req
533. Our instructions were to keep watch.Copy !req
534. I don't know
about prudent, Alfred...Copy !req
535. but it's sure as heck
the only decent thing to do.Copy !req
536. Hmm. Perhaps.Copy !req
537. Yes. Yes.Copy !req
538. Ah! There it is!Copy !req
539. Seventy-third Street and Concord Avenue.Copy !req
540. Follow me.
Down to the terrace.Copy !req
541. Ho!Copy !req
542. "And all my days are trances...Copy !req
543. "and all my nightly dreams are
where thy dark eye glances...Copy !req
544. and where thy footstep gleams. "Copy !req
545. ...Comrade Wayne.Copy !req
546. Edgar Allan Poe, Miss Kitka.Copy !req
547. "To One in Paradise. "
First stanza.Copy !req
548. About that dream you had.Copy !req
549. - Do we dare?
- Why not?Copy !req
550. Yes, of course.
Why not?Copy !req
551. Of what use is a dream
if not a blueprint for courageous action?Copy !req
552. Oh! Into action, comrade. Mmm!Copy !req
553. Miss Kitka, I have
the strangest feeling...Copy !req
554. that I am about to be
utterly and madly carried away.Copy !req
555. - Aha! Aha!
- This is a kidnapping!Copy !req
556. Our joke's on you!Copy !req
557. You filthy criminals.Copy !req
558. - Much as one deplores indiscretion, Master Robin—
- You're right, Alfred.Copy !req
559. I'll just take one tiny, tiny peek.Copy !req
560. - Holy demolition!
- Bless my dustpan!Copy !req
561. Cover the exits, Alfred.
I'll race up there with my bat rope.Copy !req
562. Very good, sir.Copy !req
563. Holy Halloween!Copy !req
564. Huh! Strange. Batman should
have been here hours ago.Copy !req
565. Perhaps you didn't leave
a clear-enough clue in your apartment.Copy !req
566. Of course I did. I can't understand
why Batman hasn't dashed into our trap.Copy !req
567. It's all set.Copy !req
568. He puts his foot here,
my secret jack-in-the-box fires...Copy !req
569. shooting him out through the window,
out over the sea...Copy !req
570. into the waiting arms
of Penguin's exploding octopus.Copy !req
571. What a deliciously humorous trajectory.Copy !req
572. And nothing to link us
with the crime.Copy !req
573. Quacking ] - [ Yowling ]Copy !req
574. You abominable outlaws.Copy !req
575. What have you done with Miss Kitka?Copy !req
576. She's quite well, Mr. Wayne.Copy !req
577. I swear, by heaven,
if you've harmed that girl...Copy !req
578. I'll kill you all.Copy !req
579. I'll rend you limb from limb!Copy !req
580. Mr. Wayne, must you be so impulsive?Copy !req
581. Where is she, Catwoman?
Show me Miss Kitka...Copy !req
582. or I'll wreck this place
with my dying breath!Copy !req
583. Blindfold the captive.Copy !req
584. Lead him down the labyrinthine path
to Chamber 17.Copy !req
585. Two minutes. No more.Copy !req
586. - Turn on the secret microphone.
- Yo-ho!Copy !req
587. Quiet. Quiet.Copy !req
588. - Miss Kitka.
- Comrade Wayne.Copy !req
589. - Are you all right?
- Da. Da.Copy !req
590. I'll curse myself
forever, Miss Kitka.Copy !req
591. This nasty soup we're in
is largely of my own brewing.Copy !req
592. If I hadn't let your beauty
lull me off guard—Copy !req
593. Off guard, comrade?Copy !req
594. There are some things
I cannot disclose, Miss Kitka.Copy !req
595. Suffice it to say that we're in the hands
of the underworld's most vicious foursome.Copy !req
596. I fear we have...Copy !req
597. nothing to look forward to but death.Copy !req
598. It may not be that black,
Comrade Wayne.Copy !req
599. Batman and Robin are
probably hot on our trail.Copy !req
600. From something
I happened to overhear...Copy !req
601. I think we are merely
bait for Batman.Copy !req
602. Once he is in their trap,
we will be released.Copy !req
603. A slender hope, Miss Kitka.Copy !req
604. More slender than you can know.Copy !req
605. You do not think
Batman will get here?Copy !req
606. That I cannot say.Copy !req
607. Tell me. Did you
overhear any mention...Copy !req
608. of any other prisoner
of this rotten gang?Copy !req
609. No, I did not, Mr. Wayne.Copy !req
610. Who on earth could you mean?Copy !req
611. Commodore Schmidlapp
ringing for his tea.Copy !req
612. Oh, just a thought.
It doesn't matter.Copy !req
613. A speedy escape is our only hope.Copy !req
614. A moment while I think.Copy !req
615. I've got it. Why didn't I think of it sooner?Copy !req
616. Of what, Comrade Wayne?Copy !req
617. Up my left sleeve...Copy !req
618. I have a tiny radio transmitter
strapped above my elbow.Copy !req
619. - What a curious device to carry.
- Not at all, Miss Kitka.Copy !req
620. Capitalists like myself
who carry large sums of money...Copy !req
621. often have such safety contrivances.Copy !req
622. If I can just get at it.Copy !req
623. Quickly. Wiggle around back to back.Copy !req
624. Maybe you can reach it
with your fingers.Copy !req
625. Da.Copy !req
626. Let's get him.Copy !req
627. There we are.Copy !req
628. You think you're pretty clever,
don't you, Mr. Wayne?Copy !req
629. Clever enough to outwit you,
you stupid thug.Copy !req
630. Well, we'll see about that.Copy !req
631. Dear colleagues,
let's see what's strapped...Copy !req
632. about this fellow's left elbow,
shall we?Copy !req
633. Credulous creatures!Copy !req
634. I knew you'd be listening in.Copy !req
635. I told you that fish story
about a radio-Copy !req
636. Get him, you mollycoddles!Copy !req
637. Miss— Miss Kitka, where are you?Copy !req
638. - Great day in the morning! -
Bruce! - Hello, Commissioner.Copy !req
639. Come on, Dick. We're late for that
important demonstration at the fish hatchery.Copy !req
640. - Roger.
- Excuse us, Commissioner.Copy !req
641. Great Scott! You can't dash off now.
Where were you held? How did you escape?Copy !req
642. I escaped with the aid of Batman.Copy !req
643. Thank goodness the Caped Crusader
got there in time!Copy !req
644. Yes, Commissioner, and you'd better
return to police headquarters.Copy !req
645. He may wish to call you there.
Good day, Commissioner.Copy !req
646. And so, my fine,
"finkish" friends...Copy !req
647. you have heard
my astounding proposal.Copy !req
648. What do you say?Copy !req
649. What do you say?Copy !req
650. One thing is certain.
Our strike cannot be postponed.Copy !req
651. We're at the mercy
of the Gotham River tide.Copy !req
652. Riddler's right for once.Copy !req
653. It's now or never
if we're to get through the channel.Copy !req
654. Well, make up your minds!
The Batman will never come here now.Copy !req
655. But the police will— any instant.Copy !req
656. So, to the Penguin's
princely plan...Copy !req
657. is it yes or no?Copy !req
658. I say it's crazy.Copy !req
659. But I say let's try it. We have to do
something to get Batman out of the way.Copy !req
660. Oh, go ahead, Penguin.Copy !req
661. Mr. Joker, would you
drop one of your little dream pills...Copy !req
662. into Commodore Schmidlapp's tea?Copy !req
663. - Mmm! Presto!
- And then carry him down to the submarine.Copy !req
664. Yo-ho!Copy !req
665. Mr. Riddler, will you
tell Mr. Quetch...Copy !req
666. - to fetch the five guinea pigs?
- Ah!Copy !req
667. - Quetch, fetch the five guinea pigs.
- Yo-ho!Copy !req
668. Oh. Oh.Copy !req
669. Yo-ho-ho, sir!Copy !req
670. Now, my fine, fishy finks...Copy !req
671. you see here Commodore Schmidlapp's
pièce de no résistance—Copy !req
672. an instant whiskey maker.Copy !req
673. Waiting for us
to put it to more universal use.Copy !req
674. Now, don't be afraid.Copy !req
675. You will feel nothing.Copy !req
676. Now I am merely going
to temporarily extract...Copy !req
677. every bit of moisture
from your body.Copy !req
678. It's a painless operation.Copy !req
679. Oh!Copy !req
680. - Delightful!
- Dehydrated.Copy !req
681. Catwoman— Catwoman,
will you get a dustpan...Copy !req
682. and put every one of them
very carefully into a separate vial?Copy !req
683. Ooh! All right.Copy !req
684. Mr. Riddler, would you prepare
the submarine to get under way...Copy !req
685. while I prepare
a demolition charge...Copy !req
686. of terrifying thrust
to welcome the police?Copy !req
687. - Where do we meet?
- United World Building.Copy !req
688. - United World Building.
- On the Gotham East River.Copy !req
689. - East River.
- Thirty-ninth floor.Copy !req
690. - Thirty-ninth floor.
- I'll be waiting at the elevator.Copy !req
691. - One hour? One hour.
- One hour.Copy !req
692. Here you are.Copy !req
693. Oh, what mere
criminal genius, Catwoman!Copy !req
694. Who else but a genius
could conceive such an audacious plot...Copy !req
695. to deliberately trick
Batman and Robin...Copy !req
696. into inviting me
into their secret Batcave...Copy !req
697. with five dehydrated,
death-dealing pirates at my command?Copy !req
698. Careful, careful.Copy !req
699. Every one of them has a mother.Copy !req
700. Out batarang and bat rope.
Stand clear.Copy !req
701. When you think, Batman,
with people in weird outfits—Copy !req
702. like the four supercrooks
hanging around here—Copy !req
703. it's amazing someone hasn't already
reported this place to the police.Copy !req
704. It's a low neighborhood,
full of rumpots.Copy !req
705. They're used to curious sights,
which they attribute to alcoholic delusions.Copy !req
706. Gosh, drinking's sure
a filthy thing, isn't it?Copy !req
707. - I'd rather be dead than unable
to trust my own eyes. - Uh-huh.Copy !req
708. You're right, honey.
There was somebody walking up the wall.Copy !req
709. Ready with superblinding
bat pellets.Copy !req
710. - Away, Robin. Away!
- But-But—Copy !req
711. Come on, Batman!
Batman!Copy !req
712. Miss Kitka! Miss Ki—Copy !req
713. Oh!Copy !req
714. Quick! Everyone,
flee for your lives!Copy !req
715. Into the street!Copy !req
716. Look out! Look out, please!Copy !req
717. Some days, you just can't
get rid of a bomb.Copy !req
718. Batman!Copy !req
719. Batman!Copy !req
720. It's all right, Robin.Copy !req
721. Holy heart failure!Copy !req
722. Fortunately, I was able to dispose
of that bomb in the nick oftime...Copy !req
723. and shield myself
behind these heavy iron pipes.Copy !req
724. You risked your life to save
that riffraff in the bar?Copy !req
725. They may be drinkers, Robin,
but they're also human beings...Copy !req
726. and may be salvaged.Copy !req
727. I had to do it.Copy !req
728. But we've lost the trail of that angelic
Miss Kitka. Stranded without a clue.Copy !req
729. Ahoy there.Copy !req
730. Could you chaps
direct me to a policeman?Copy !req
731. Commodore Schmidlapp's the name.Copy !req
732. Big Ben Distilleries, you know.Copy !req
733. Holy costume party.
That's the Penguin.Copy !req
734. - Obviously.
- What's his game? I wonder.Copy !req
735. What's your game, Penguin?Copy !req
736. Penguin?Copy !req
737. No, my name's Schmidlapp,
old boy. Schmidlapp.Copy !req
738. Your fingerprints
will settle that hash, Penguin.Copy !req
739. We'll check them against
our mobile anticrime file in our Batmobile.Copy !req
740. Let's see your hands.Copy !req
741. Looks like...
plastic-coated fingertips.Copy !req
742. Yes, I scorched myself
pressing a waistcoast.Copy !req
743. I do believe that the attending surgeon
did use plastic, yes.Copy !req
744. It looks bad, Batman.
This brassy bird has us buffaloed.Copy !req
745. Not quite, Robin.Copy !req
746. There's one method of identification
which no criminal can evade.Copy !req
747. Retinal eye patterns?Copy !req
748. He's right, Robin.
The pattern of myriad, tiny blood vessels...Copy !req
749. in the retina of the eye—
as individual as a fingerprint.Copy !req
750. But don't you have a complete
anti-criminal eye pattern master file...Copy !req
751. in your fabulous Batcave?Copy !req
752. - Why don't you take me there?
- You'd be willing to submit yourself to a test?Copy !req
753. Why, of course. It might be an amusing
experience, don't you know?Copy !req
754. Stand by to catch him, Robin.
I'll give him the bat gas.Copy !req
755. Oh-ho, what's that?
Ba-Bat gas?Copy !req
756. A harmless anesthetic...Copy !req
757. necessary to prevent you
from seeing the entrance to the Batcave.Copy !req
758. If anyone knew that, they could pierce
the secret of our true identities.Copy !req
759. Ready, Commodore?Copy !req
760. Oh, I say. What deucedly strange customs
you colonials have. What?Copy !req
761. Well, I'm ready.Copy !req
762. To the Batmobile. This could be
the break we've been looking for.Copy !req
763. He's the Penguin, all right.Copy !req
764. - I wonder why he let us bring him here.
- We'll soon find out.Copy !req
765. - I'll set up the anticrime eye checker.
- Stay on the alert, Robin.Copy !req
766. After I give him the bat wake,
we must be ready for anything.Copy !req
767. Well, now.Copy !req
768. Oh, it's you.Copy !req
769. We're here, eh? I see.Copy !req
770. Oh, I s- This—Copy !req
771. Oh, say!Copy !req
772. This is extraordinary!Copy !req
773. It's absolutely extraordinary!Copy !req
774. I must say that your laboratory...Copy !req
775. exceeds the limits
of man's wildest imagination!Copy !req
776. Absolutely. And could I trouble you
for a glass ofwater?Copy !req
777. Your bat gas seems to have
left me with a somewhat...Copy !req
778. parched sensation.Copy !req
779. Over there. The drinking water
dispenser is clearly marked.Copy !req
780. Oh, yeah. Thank you.
Thank you, sir.Copy !req
781. Thank you very much, sir.
Thank you, sir.Copy !req
782. Help yourself, Commodore.
Slake your thirst.Copy !req
783. You'll have worse than a parched sensation
when we're through with you.Copy !req
784. Perhaps, perhaps.
But I am appalled by your attitude, sir.Copy !req
785. I mean, condemning me before the facts
have been authoritatively established.Copy !req
786. Yes. You are abrogating...Copy !req
787. my constitutional rights, sir.Copy !req
788. - All set, Batman.
- Come on, Penguin.Copy !req
789. Time to rip off your false feathers.Copy !req
790. Coming, Batman.Copy !req
791. I am coming at once.Copy !req
792. - Holy hallucination!
- I wish it were, Robin, but it's not.Copy !req
793. It's five dehydrated pirates-
rehydrated.Copy !req
794. At 'em, me hearties!
Shiver 'em from stem to stern!Copy !req
795. Yo-ho-ho, sir!Copy !req
796. Attack them, you faltering fink!Copy !req
797. The pirates- they're gone!
Popped like balloons! How'd it happen?Copy !req
798. Whoever dehydrated those pirates...Copy !req
799. could not have foreseen
their accidental rehydration...Copy !req
800. with the heavy water
we use in recharging the atomic pile!Copy !req
801. Which naturally left them
in a highly unstable condition!Copy !req
802. You saw it yourself, Robin.Copy !req
803. The slightest impact
was sufficient...Copy !req
804. to instantly reduce them
to antimatter.Copy !req
805. Antimatter?Copy !req
806. You mean they...
won't be coming back?Copy !req
807. No, Robin.Copy !req
808. Not in this universe.Copy !req
809. Let that be an object lesson...Copy !req
810. in the dangers of tampering with
the laws of Mother Nature.Copy !req
811. My apologies, Commodore Schmidlapp.Copy !req
812. It's clear that I've done you
a cruel injustice.Copy !req
813. - You have?
- You were duped, brainwashed.Copy !req
814. The criminals planted
those dehydrated thugs on your person.Copy !req
815. You were obviously
under the influence...Copy !req
816. of posthypnotic suggestion
when you rehydrated them.Copy !req
817. Come on down, Commodore.Copy !req
818. Another sniff of bat gas,
and we'll all return to the city.Copy !req
819. Are you sure you didn't hurt your head
in that fight, Batman?Copy !req
820. Perfectly.
Swallow this pill.Copy !req
821. Now give our friend here
a whiff of bat wake.Copy !req
822. Good morning.Copy !req
823. - What's wrong, Batman?
- Manifold pressure's dropping.Copy !req
824. I think we'd better stop and check.Copy !req
825. Sorry about that, Commodore.Copy !req
826. - Won't take a minute.
- Oh, yes, it will!Copy !req
827. Hey!Copy !req
828. Yo-ho!Copy !req
829. And away we go in my "Birdmobile"!
One side, Caped Crusader.Copy !req
830. - You okay, Robin? - I sure am, Batman,
thanks to that anti-Penguin gas pill.Copy !req
831. The pompous fool.
He's played right into our hands.Copy !req
832. Quickly.
Via Batcycle to the Batcopter.Copy !req
833. We'll track him
to the gang's new hideout.Copy !req
834. Disengage go-cart.Copy !req
835. Bat scanner tracking
the stolen Batmobile perfectly.Copy !req
836. Port, two degrees.
And steady as she goes.Copy !req
837. Yo-ho!
Port, two degrees!Copy !req
838. We're almost there.Copy !req
839. - Oh. Oh.
- Hey, Riddler, where are you going?Copy !req
840. To fire off some more
of my riddling clues, of course.Copy !req
841. - Riddler!
- Yes?Copy !req
842. You're mad, Riddler.
Penguin's finished Batman by now.Copy !req
843. That miserable, waddling
mountebank of a bird.Copy !req
844. He couldn't finish a bag of popcorn.Copy !req
845. So, say Penguin failed. All the more reason
not to hand them your crazy clues.Copy !req
846. Oh, but I must. I must.
Oh, outwitting Batman is my sole delight...Copy !req
847. my joy, my heaven on Earth...Copy !req
848. my very paradise.Copy !req
849. Riddler! Come back!Copy !req
850. Stolen Batmobile turning.Copy !req
851. Now heading up Gotham River Drive.Copy !req
852. Voilà.Copy !req
853. Batman! Polaris-type missile
coming right for us.Copy !req
854. Hold tight, Robin.
This may be tricky.Copy !req
855. - Damage?
- The tail rotor disengaged.Copy !req
856. Brace yourself, Robin.
We're going down.Copy !req
857. This could be the end.Copy !req
858. Ooh, ooh!Copy !req
859. Now to find my riddling Polaris skywriter.Copy !req
860. Look! Look!
The Dynamic Duo!Copy !req
861. Giggling ] - [ Yowling ]Copy !req
862. I got them.
I got them.Copy !req
863. Holy horseshoe!Copy !req
864. Some luck, landing right on top
of a bed of foam rubber.Copy !req
865. Yes, Robin.
I'd say the odds against it...Copy !req
866. would make even
the most reckless gambler cringe.Copy !req
867. True, I did think I'd spotted it
out of the corner of my eye.Copy !req
868. But—Copy !req
869. That crazy missile- It wrote
two more riddles before it blew up.Copy !req
870. "What goes up white...Copy !req
871. and comes down yellow and white"?Copy !req
872. An egg!Copy !req
873. "How do you divide seventeen apples...Copy !req
874. among sixteen people?"Copy !req
875. - Make applesauce.
- Apples into applesauce—Copy !req
876. a unification
into one smooth mixture.Copy !req
877. An egg—
nature's perfect container...Copy !req
878. the container
of all our hopes for the future.Copy !req
879. A unification
and a container of hope?Copy !req
880. - United World Organization!
- Precisely, Robin!Copy !req
881. And there's a special meeting
of the Security Council today.Copy !req
882. - If what I fear is true-
- Wow! Let's commandeer a taxi!Copy !req
883. No, Robin!
Not at this time of day.Copy !req
884. Luckily, we're in tip-top condition.Copy !req
885. It'll be faster if we run.
Let's go!Copy !req
886. We are now passing
through the grotto.Copy !req
887. - Depth: a half fathom.
- Engines: dead slow astern.Copy !req
888. Yo-ho! Dead slow astern.Copy !req
889. Ah, good.
Just as the blueprints said—Copy !req
890. an abandoned construction elevator.Copy !req
891. Hecate, sniff out the weak spot.Copy !req
892. - I hope Penguin made it.
- Who needs him?Copy !req
893. Stand back.Copy !req
894. Hey! Can't you read?Copy !req
895. Fine day for penguins.
Looks like rain.Copy !req
896. Yo-ho! My criminal coconspirators.
We meet as planned.Copy !req
897. And, no thanks to you,
the Dynamic Duo has been silenced forever.Copy !req
898. - - And blasted out of the sky
by an incredible coincidence.Copy !req
899. Oh, the delicious irony of it all.Copy !req
900. Downed by one of Riddler's
Polaris skywriters.Copy !req
901. Oh, happy happenstance!Copy !req
902. Now, hold your breath
as we cross the hall.Copy !req
903. There are still lingering traces
of my finely filtered Penguin gas.Copy !req
904. Holy marathon!
I'm getting a stitch, Batman.Copy !req
905. Let's hope it's a stitch in time, Robin,
that saves nine-Copy !req
906. the nine members
of the United World Security Council.Copy !req
907. Gentlemen, it is the considered opinion
of Her Majesty's Government...Copy !req
908. that we pursue peace at all costs.Copy !req
909. Our poor, united world in microcosm.Copy !req
910. I'm afraid
they'll find our humor very, very dry.Copy !req
911. Gentlemen, my country
understands your position...Copy !req
912. but in the interest of peace,
we must—Copy !req
913. We are doing everything in our possible power.Copy !req
914. Gentlemen, it has always
been our policy to maintain—Copy !req
915. Quickly now!
Each one in a separate vial.Copy !req
916. And, boys, don't anybody sneeze.Copy !req
917. Emergency!
Seal this building!Copy !req
918. - And turn off the ventilating system!
- Robin's right.Copy !req
919. The entire Security Council
may have been dehydrated.Copy !req
920. Emergency, operator!
Emergency! Get me security!Copy !req
921. Emergency, operator!
Emergency! Get me security!Copy !req
922. Up. Up. Up. Up. Up. "Up"!Copy !req
923. Surrender, you criminals!Copy !req
924. United Underworld is through!Copy !req
925. Faugh! What's this, an apparition?Copy !req
926. One false move, and you'll find out.
We'll hurl our batarangs.Copy !req
927. - To the elevator, boys!
- Catwoman, stop, I said!Copy !req
928. I don't think you mean that, Batman.Copy !req
929. Miss Kitka dies
if you take one more step. Go!Copy !req
930. This way, Robin!Copy !req
931. The Security Council— gone!Copy !req
932. What a fiendishly clever way to abduct
nine men from a heavily guarded building.Copy !req
933. Where does that elevator go?Copy !req
934. Downstairs, obviously...Copy !req
935. to an abandoned submarine dock
on the river.Copy !req
936. Holy Captain Nemo!Copy !req
937. They'll head for sea
by way of Short Island Sound.Copy !req
938. We have just one
trump card left, Robin.Copy !req
939. Heaven help the world if we fail.Copy !req
940. Come on!Copy !req
941. Down periscope.
We're over the last bar.Copy !req
942. Mr. Bluebeard,
all engines full ahead.Copy !req
943. Yo-ho! All engines full ahead.Copy !req
944. What a delightful haul!Copy !req
945. Mr. Riddler, will you kindly prepare
those nine radio ransom messages?Copy !req
946. - All right, all right.
- And none of your stupid riddles. Do you understand?Copy !req
947. Make those messages plain.Copy !req
948. One billion dollars cash
from each country.Copy !req
949. Precisely, Mr. Riddler.
To be delivered to our secret island...Copy !req
950. by the horde of trained
carrier pigeons...Copy !req
951. which I shall presently provide.Copy !req
952. But no whimsical embellishments, please.
Make those messages clear!Copy !req
953. "Make those messages clear!"Copy !req
954. - Ooh, it's like a dream, Pengy, sweet.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
955. Nothing can stop us now.Copy !req
956. Sonar contact.
Range: 8,000. Bearing: 1-8-1.Copy !req
957. Yo-ho! Sonar contact.Copy !req
958. Small craft at 7,500.
Bearing: 0-1.Copy !req
959. What? Small craft?Copy !req
960. It's moving incredibly fast, sir.
Range is down to 7,000.Copy !req
961. - It's the Batboat!
- Faugh! Drat that cockleshell!Copy !req
962. Mr. Bluebeard, steady
on the diving plane.Copy !req
963. Yo-ho! Steady on the diving plane!Copy !req
964. I'll man the torpedo tubes.Copy !req
965. Mr. Riddler, would you fire
a surface-to-surface underwater homing missile?Copy !req
966. Ah.Copy !req
967. Missile ahoy!Copy !req
968. Looks like it has a homing device
in its nose cone.Copy !req
969. Get ready for evasive action.Copy !req
970. No use, Batman.
It's tracking us.Copy !req
971. Here. Take my bat radio.
I looked it up this morning.Copy !req
972. That class of missile receives
on a wavelength of 164.1.Copy !req
973. 164.1.Copy !req
974. Quickly now.
Send a jamming signal.Copy !req
975. It's starting down.Copy !req
976. Farewell, Batman!Copy !req
977. Farewell, Dynamic Duo!Copy !req
978. Holy bikini!
That was close!Copy !req
979. Yo-ho. Small craft still closing.Copy !req
980. Range: 4,000.
Bearing: 8-8.Copy !req
981. Faugh! They know
how to jam our missiles!Copy !req
982. Up to periscope depth!Copy !req
983. Yo-ho! Up to periscope depth!Copy !req
984. - Range: 3,500.
- Get the bat charge launcher.Copy !req
985. Roger.Copy !req
986. They hold nine of the world's
most eminent men in dehydrated condition.Copy !req
987. Our task is not to sink that sub,
merely to drive it to the surface.Copy !req
988. Forward torpedo tubes.
Prepare to fire.Copy !req
989. Yo-ho! Forward torpedo tubes.
Prepare to fire.Copy !req
990. Five, four...Copy !req
991. three, two—Copy !req
992. Torpedoes-
fire!Copy !req
993. Torpedoes— fire!Copy !req
994. Torpedoes away!Copy !req
995. - Dive, Mr. Bluebeard! Dive!
- Yo-ho, dive!Copy !req
996. - Down periscope!
- Down periscope.Copy !req
997. Torpedo wakes off the port bow.Copy !req
998. Prepare to fire bat charges
in front of torpedoes when in range.Copy !req
999. Faugh!
That's too soon!Copy !req
1000. It must be bat charges.Copy !req
1001. And that means there'll be more
of the dreaded things meant for us!Copy !req
1002. You dismal bird! You and your submarine!
Where's it got us now?Copy !req
1003. Shut up, you feline floozy!Copy !req
1004. Mr. Bluebeard, down 30 fathoms!Copy !req
1005. Run silent, run deep.Copy !req
1006. They're diving. Engines
being switched to silent.Copy !req
1007. We'll circle them
at full-thrust bat speed...Copy !req
1008. - diminishing radius of curvature.
- Roger.Copy !req
1009. - Mr. Quetch, what's their bearing?
- I don't know, sir.Copy !req
1010. - What? You don't know?
- It's changing every second.Copy !req
1011. They must be circling us.Copy !req
1012. Fire when ready, Robin.Copy !req
1013. I'll maintain curvature.Copy !req
1014. Yo-ho!Copy !req
1015. Compartments "A," "B" and "C"
taking green water, sir.Copy !req
1016. Penguin! Penguin,
you know I can't take water!Copy !req
1017. Oh, you cowardly kitten!
Do you want to live forever?Copy !req
1018. This bird has flown around the bend.Copy !req
1019. To cuckoo-land!Copy !req
1020. Oh, Riddler, Joker, do something!Copy !req
1021. We weren't meant for a watery grave!
Do something!Copy !req
1022. Now hear this!
Now hear this!Copy !req
1023. Blow all tanks!
Surface! Surface!Copy !req
1024. All right, Robin.
Cut the bat charges.Copy !req
1025. They've had about enough, I imagine.Copy !req
1026. You're right.
They're surfacing fast.Copy !req
1027. - Estimated surfacing position?
- 200 yards.Copy !req
1028. Here they come.Copy !req
1029. Diminishing speed.
Ready to board.Copy !req
1030. Roger.Copy !req
1031. Pirates, to arms!Copy !req
1032. Prepare to repel boarders!Copy !req
1033. Strike your colors, Penguin.Copy !req
1034. Faugh! We have not yet
begun to fight! Attack!Copy !req
1035. Bon voyage, pussy.Copy !req
1036. Holy heartbreak!
Miss Kitka!Copy !req
1037. Batman, I—Copy !req
1038. Say no more, Robin.
It could be... compromising.Copy !req
1039. Of course.Copy !req
1040. It's just...
one of those things...Copy !req
1041. in the life of every crime fighter.Copy !req
1042. It means nothing.
Snap on the bat cuffs.Copy !req
1043. Batman to Coast Guard.
Batman to Coast Guard.Copy !req
1044. There is a drifting submarine
two miles east of Sandy Nose Lightship.Copy !req
1045. It's filled with human jetsam.Copy !req
1046. Come. Take it in tow.Copy !req
1047. Robin, over here. Look.Copy !req
1048. The hope of the entire world,
tottering on the brink.Copy !req
1049. Holy almost.Copy !req
1050. To think it might have been
shattered before our very eyes.Copy !req
1051. - Up with you, Catwoman.
- The service on this yacht has gone to pot.Copy !req
1052. Where's my tea? And— What the devil is this,
the captain's costume party?Copy !req
1053. Holy jumble!
Where's the hope of the world now?Copy !req
1054. Bat centrifuge at 32,000 RPMs.Copy !req
1055. Increase angstrom force in vector "X."Copy !req
1056. Vector "X" up one notch.Copy !req
1057. - Yes, Commissioner?
- What progress, Batman? Is there hope?Copy !req
1058. There's always hope.
You should know that, sir.Copy !req
1059. Of course, of course. But...
do you think you and the Boy Wonder...Copy !req
1060. can separate that mingled dust
back into its constituent members?Copy !req
1061. With all modesty, Commissioner...Copy !req
1062. if we can't, heaven knows who can.Copy !req
1063. Truer words were never spoken.Copy !req
1064. Howdy, y'all.
How are those boys doin' up there?Copy !req
1065. Batman says there's hope, Mr. President.
What more can one ask?Copy !req
1066. The whole free world is waitin'.Copy !req
1067. Tell Batman I salute him
and wish him luck.Copy !req
1068. I needn't tell you, ladies and gentlemen,
with whom I have just spoken.Copy !req
1069. Ready for separation.Copy !req
1070. All right then.
I'll activate the computer link...Copy !req
1071. feed in the various
ethnic and national factors.Copy !req
1072. - Batman, wait a minute.
- What?Copy !req
1073. Well, with the way
the world is and all...Copy !req
1074. don't you think maybe we ought to try
to improve those factors...Copy !req
1075. kind of reshuffle them a little?Copy !req
1076. No, Robin. No.Copy !req
1077. It's not for mortals like us
to tamper with the laws of nature.Copy !req
1078. Indeed, in this very Batcave,
you saw a ghastly example...Copy !req
1079. of what happens
when one tries to do that.Copy !req
1080. Gosh, yes, Batman.
When you put it that way-Copy !req
1081. Here we go.Copy !req
1082. Yes?Copy !req
1083. Separation accomplished.
Ready to rehydrate.Copy !req
1084. Separation accomplished.Copy !req
1085. They are ready to rehydrate.Copy !req
1086. We are ready to rehydrate.Copy !req
1087. They are ready to rehydrate.Copy !req
1088. A solemn moment, gentlemen.Copy !req
1089. One of dedication
and humble supplication.Copy !req
1090. Robin...Copy !req
1091. prepare to rehydrate.Copy !req
1092. Ready to rehydrate.Copy !req
1093. Turn on the water faucet.Copy !req
1094. Success! Success!Copy !req
1095. They've done it!
They've done it!Copy !req
1096. Success! Success!
We've done it! We've done it!Copy !req
1097. Success! Success!Copy !req
1098. What the-Copy !req
1099. Gentlemen, in the interest of peace,
you must hear me out. You must—Copy !req
1100. Gentlemen, gentlemen,
it is absolutely imperative...Copy !req
1101. that we limit
our conversation to peace.Copy !req
1102. Écoutez. Écoutez, s'il vous plaît.Copy !req
1103. Who knows, Robin?Copy !req
1104. This strange mixing of minds...Copy !req
1105. may be the greatest single service
ever performed for humanity.Copy !req
1106. Let's go.
But inconspicuously.Copy !req
1107. Through the window.
We'll use our bat ropes.Copy !req
1108. Our job is finished.Copy !req