1. In the Russian woods,
there's an evil witchCopy !req
2. People only whisper out her name in frightCopy !req
3. - (men) Teeth of sharpened iron
- Hands that catch the windCopy !req
4. Steals the children
sleeping in their beds at nightCopy !req
5. She flies in a mortar and pestle
through darkened Russian skiesCopy !req
6. If you see her, running would be wiseCopy !req
7. Baba YagaCopy !req
8. - Baba Yaga
- Baba YagaCopy !req
9. The witch of the Iron Forest,
her evil is next to noneCopy !req
10. Baba YagaCopy !req
11. - (man) Baba Yaga
- (man #2) Baba YagaCopy !req
12. The wolves are afraid to chase her,
the wind is afraid to race herCopy !req
13. All Russia's afraid to face her,
except for one!Copy !req
14. Women and children, in front.
Gentlemen behind, please.Copy !req
15. Don't push.
There's plenty of room for everybody.Copy !req
16. Now don't try this at home.Copy !req
17. Er, part of the show, totally planned.Copy !req
18. Stay with me now, folks,
cos here comes the good stuff.Copy !req
19. Once in Mongolia, I noticed a fireCopy !req
20. Whole city burning
and the flames getting higherCopy !req
21. They're yelling
"Save us or we're all gonna bake!"Copy !req
22. I ate the flames
and then I drank the whole IakeCopy !req
23. They called me Bartok the MagnificentCopy !req
24. The specifically, terrifically magnificentCopy !req
25. A mammal so inflammable
he saved the dayCopy !req
26. I tell you, B-A-R-T-OKCopy !req
27. Folks, that's 10,000 pounds of pressure.Copy !req
28. Go over there at once
and put a stop to that inane Iittle bat.Copy !req
29. Ludmilla, leave him alone.
I like him, he's funny.Copy !req
30. - Your Highness, can you...
- Yes?Copy !req
31. As you wish.Copy !req
32. Leave him be.Copy !req
33. Folks, this here's a dragon.
An exact replica. 150, 200 tons easy.Copy !req
34. A fire spitter. Kill ya with a flick of the tail.
Careful there, sir. Better safe than sorry.Copy !req
35. One time in Hungary
this dragon appearsCopy !req
36. He's very hung-a-ry,
no dinner in yearsCopy !req
37. And then he grabs me
and I'm practically throughCopy !req
38. I summon all my strength, and using
the dragon's body weight against him,Copy !req
39. I throw him off me.
And I gave him a one to the solar plexus.Copy !req
40. And a two to the kidneys!Copy !req
41. He was deflated
cos I knew my kung fuCopy !req
42. That's why I'm Bartok the MagnificentCopy !req
43. With a ha and a hiya
that are significantCopy !req
44. That dragon hasn't eaten
since that fateful dayCopy !req
45. Thanks to B-A-R-T-OKCopy !req
46. Bartok the MagnificentCopy !req
47. Undeniably, reliably magnificentCopy !req
48. And heaven help a harpy
who gets in my wayCopy !req
49. I guess I'm just a natural or so they sayCopy !req
50. This bat'II go to battle for you
come what mayCopy !req
51. I tell ya...Copy !req
52. B - A - R - T - OK!Copy !req
53. OK. Great crowd! Good people!
Oh, please, you're too kind!Copy !req
54. - Show's over.
- Thank goodness.Copy !req
55. Hey, hey, hey, hey. OK.Copy !req
56. Not so fast there, big fella!Copy !req
57. Oh, really?
Well, why don't you try this on for size?Copy !req
58. Abraca-watch it!Copy !req
59. Now watch very closely.
There's a half hitch.Copy !req
60. And here's a sailor's breastplate.Copy !req
61. And this one's called ropin' the bear.Copy !req
62. Yes! Yes!Copy !req
63. Hi-ya! Hoo-wah!Copy !req
64. Hey, thanks a lot, folks.
Really, thank you. That's too kind.Copy !req
65. Oh!Copy !req
66. Wow.Copy !req
67. Bravo! Bravo!Copy !req
68. (man) Prince Ivan!Copy !req
69. Prince Ivan! That is a ring for a Romanov.
No commoner may ever wear that!Copy !req
70. - Why?
- Because...Copy !req
71. Because that is how it has always been.Copy !req
72. Well, perhaps it's a time for a change.Copy !req
73. Very well, Your Highness. Let us go!Copy !req
74. Thank you for helping my people.Copy !req
75. Please, don't be silly.
It was the least I could do.Copy !req
76. Bye!Copy !req
77. Wow, would ya look at the shine on that?Copy !req
78. You can't go around
giving royal jewels to commoners.Copy !req
79. Especially street performers.
You only encourage them.Copy !req
80. Well, I wanted to encourage him.
Ludmilla, don't be that way.Copy !req
81. The people Iiked the bat.
Did you see how he made them smile?Copy !req
82. It was nice to see them happy.Copy !req
83. - Nonsense.
- I thought he was funny.Copy !req
84. - Vol, what do you think?
- I thought so.Copy !req
85. When the feathers cleared, and the bat's
standing there holding a chicken.Copy !req
86. - That's good stuff.
- See?Copy !req
87. Or... when he punched the...Copy !req
88. Silence!Copy !req
89. Yes, Your Highness, I know.Copy !req
90. But one day, you'll be tsar.
You must show respect for your crown.Copy !req
91. If you don't,
how can you expect the peasants to?Copy !req
92. - Your Highness, are you listening to me?
- I'm tired of listening to you.Copy !req
93. If I am the future tsar,
then I will do as I choose.Copy !req
94. And it is you who must respect the crown.Copy !req
95. My apologies.Copy !req
96. One for me and one for me.Copy !req
97. One, two, three for me.Copy !req
98. One, two, three for me.Copy !req
99. And one, two, three, four for me.Copy !req
100. Why do you do that?
I hate when you do that.Copy !req
101. Ah, that never fails to amuse me.Copy !req
102. Ha, ha, ha.Copy !req
103. You're not going to let the fact
that I got the better of youCopy !req
104. ruin quite possibly, one of our
finer performances to date. Hmm?Copy !req
105. You were inspiring today:Copy !req
106. focused, fully in the moment,Copy !req
107. exceeding well beyond
what your talent would indicate.Copy !req
108. - Thanks a lot.
- And I...Copy !req
109. Well, suffice it to say,
the performance of my death todayCopy !req
110. would have shamed Prometheus.
Bound to a cliff...Copy !req
111. OK, OK, OK, Zozi,
with the cliff and the thing. Sheesh!Copy !req
112. I wish you could hear yourself.
It's quite irritating.Copy !req
113. Critics.Copy !req
114. - And what, pray tell, are you doing now?
- Divvying up the spoils. What do ya mean?Copy !req
115. This again? Why not just pool our assets?
We're always together.Copy !req
116. - No, no, no. Fair is fair.
- You're not planning to keep that, are you?Copy !req
117. What are you talking about?
He gave it to me.Copy !req
118. Yes, but he's a child.Copy !req
119. It is a ring for royalty.
You should know better.Copy !req
120. - Yeah, well, maybe I don't.
- Well, I can only hope one day you will.Copy !req
121. There we go.
Perfectly balanced, my friend. Here.Copy !req
122. - Perfectly balanced?
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
123. - Both sides are the same?
- Exactly even.Copy !req
124. Good. Ha! Then you won't mind
if I take this side?Copy !req
125. Whoa, whoa, wait a second there, fella.
What happened to pooling our assets?Copy !req
126. - Will you give the prince back his ring?
- Ah! What's the hurry?Copy !req
127. He's not going anywhere.Copy !req
128. Shee!Copy !req
129. Oh! Oh, oh, this can't be!Copy !req
130. - Last night, he was in bed...
- Have you searched the grounds?Copy !req
131. - Every inch.
- And?Copy !req
132. Nothing. He's gone.Copy !req
133. Oh, good heavens!
What is this?Copy !req
134. A clue?Copy !req
135. We must inform the peasants.Copy !req
136. Good people of Moscow,
the prince has been kidnapped.Copy !req
137. But I know who has stolen our tsar.Copy !req
138. For she left this iron tooth behind.Copy !req
139. - Baba Yaga!
- Baba Yaga!Copy !req
140. Yes, Baba Yaga!Copy !req
141. Can anyone help us?Copy !req
142. Think, good people, think.Copy !req
143. Who? Who can rescue our prince
from the evil Baba Yaga?Copy !req
144. I know someone.Copy !req
145. Hey, Zozi! Will you take it easy up there?Copy !req
146. Avast there, me pint-sized matey.
Man the helm. Baton down the hatches.Copy !req
147. Rough seas ahead.
There's a storm a'comin.Copy !req
148. Heave-ho, hard of starboard.Copy !req
149. All hands, clear the deck.
Splice the mainsail.Copy !req
150. - Enemies on the horizon.
- What, somebody's coming?Copy !req
151. Aar, I spy with my, my Iittle eye...Copy !req
152. Cossacks. Cossacks!Copy !req
153. Cossacks! I knew
you shouldn't have kept that ring.Copy !req
154. Quick, hide. If they see
you're not dead, we will be.Copy !req
155. Hurry! Hurry, hide!Copy !req
156. - Halt!
- Halting.Copy !req
157. Are you Bartok the Magnificent?Copy !req
158. No. No, I'm not. Never have been. AIthough
I hear he is quite gifted. A real talent.Copy !req
159. - Silence!
- All right then, I'll just be quiet then.Copy !req
160. That's no problem for me to be quiet.
I'll shush.Copy !req
161. What is that?Copy !req
162. That's Bertok. Bertok the Magnificent.Copy !req
163. It's really quite different.
I take my show in a whole nother direction.Copy !req
164. You are coming with us.Copy !req
165. Oh, no, fellas, I really... I have a thing.Copy !req
166. OK, then. That'll be fun.Copy !req
167. Hello, Your Royal Impressiveness.
Listen, if this is about the ring, just take it.Copy !req
168. Bow before the regent! Bow!Copy !req
169. OK, there, bowing.
Don't have to tell me twice.Copy !req
170. I love a good bow.Copy !req
171. Oh, Bartok the Magnificent,
we are so glad you came.Copy !req
172. Please, I... You are?Copy !req
173. Hmm?Copy !req
174. Our young tsar has been taken
by the evil witch, Baba Yaga.Copy !req
175. Our people and the royal family
have called on you to save him.Copy !req
176. Uh-huh.Copy !req
177. Don't even think...Copy !req
178. Go to the Iron ForestCopy !req
179. and return with our tsar.Copy !req
180. Uh, good people of the fair city of Moscow,Copy !req
181. it would give me no greater pleasure
than to risk my life,Copy !req
182. so that I might bring back
your fabulous prince.Copy !req
183. And I mean that. I wouldn't just say that.
He's something special.Copy !req
184. Unfortunately,
my schedule is extremely tight.Copy !req
185. Let's see, I got a hydra in St Petersburg.Copy !req
186. I gotta be in the Ukraine on the 20th.
I can't get outta that.Copy !req
187. Hmm, perhaps I could squeeze it in
when I get back from Minsk.Copy !req
188. I assure you,
you will be handsomely rewarded.Copy !req
189. No, no, really. I...
Well, perhaps I could push the hydra to June.Copy !req
190. I mean, no. I really... I can't.Copy !req
191. Hydra, terrible. Eight heads, flailing about,
eating people. It's not pretty.Copy !req
192. But, thank you. Thank you very much.Copy !req
193. Mr Bartok?Copy !req
194. Oh, boy, here comes trouble.Copy !req
195. Oh, please, magnificent Bartok, save my tsar.Copy !req
196. Don't do it.Copy !req
197. Um, well, you see, it's complicated, but...Copy !req
198. But, I...Copy !req
199. Please.Copy !req
200. I'll do it.Copy !req
201. Oh, no.Copy !req
202. Hey, come on, huh?
How often do you get to rescue a tsar?Copy !req
203. Yay, Bartok!Copy !req
204. - Or get eaten by a witch?
- Thank you!Copy !req
205. OK, thanks for the sendoff, fellas.
I'll take it from here.Copy !req
206. Zozi, how's it going in there?Copy !req
207. Listen, I'll let ya out in a second,Copy !req
208. but first, I just wanna let you know
what a very special friend I think you are.Copy !req
209. You're warm,
you're affectionate, you're supportive,Copy !req
210. honest, thrifty, clean, reverent...Copy !req
211. You're furious.Copy !req
212. You're upset with me, aren't ya? You're
peeved. You're fuming. You're incensed.Copy !req
213. - Bartok...
- Hang on, I'm not finished.Copy !req
214. - You're beside yourself.
- Bartok?Copy !req
215. I mean, Iiterally,
you're here and yet you're here.Copy !req
216. You see the... You get it?Copy !req
217. Because you're here and yet...Copy !req
218. They all can't be gems, all right? I'm done.Copy !req
219. I believe we should do it.Copy !req
220. It was the Iittle girl. She killed me.
Did ya hear the Iilt in her voice?Copy !req
221. Nobody could resist that!Copy !req
222. - I'm sorry. What'd you say?
- We should do it.Copy !req
223. - We should?
- Yes.Copy !req
224. - There's no denying it will be difficult.
- Exactly!Copy !req
225. - Even dangerous.
- Dangerous?Copy !req
226. OK, then that's it,
we're definitely going to St Petersburg.Copy !req
227. Bartok, these people asked you
to help them for a reason.Copy !req
228. Because they saw something in you.Copy !req
229. Is it so hard for you to see it in yourself?Copy !req
230. Somebody needs you,
and that's how it startsCopy !req
231. Someone believes you'll come throughCopy !req
232. You're scared, so what?Copy !req
233. I'll bet you've gotCopy !req
234. A possible hero in youCopy !req
235. It's more than courage
or just being strongCopy !req
236. Those things are easy to doCopy !req
237. Have faith, take heart.
He's kind, he's smartCopy !req
238. That possible hero in youCopy !req
239. - Close your eyes
- I think I see it.Copy !req
240. - You're unafraid
- I just might be.Copy !req
241. I can almost predictCopy !req
242. No more tricks, no more false pretences
from the back of a wagon.Copy !req
243. - Maybe I'll save a life someday.
- Or slay a dragonCopy !req
244. - Somebody needs you
- What else can ya do?Copy !req
245. But take your chances and seeCopy !req
246. We're on our wayCopy !req
247. - All right?
- OK.Copy !req
248. A possible heroCopy !req
249. - Impossible hero
- A possible heroCopy !req
250. - In you
- Me?Copy !req
251. Yes, you.Copy !req
252. In meCopy !req
253. Gee, who does her Iandscaping?Copy !req
254. OK. Well, it's official. I'm frightened.Copy !req
255. Well, there's your witch's hut.Copy !req
256. Gee, Iooky here.Copy !req
257. I'm terribly sorry. Did I startle you?Copy !req
258. Yeah, yeah. You could say that.Copy !req
259. Hmm. Now, why have you come here?Copy !req
260. I've come for Prince Ivan.Copy !req
261. Delightful. And how might I help you?Copy !req
262. You let him in to talk to that evil witch
and he'll handle the rest.Copy !req
263. And you're certain you're up to the task?Copy !req
264. Ever heard of Bartok the Magnificent?Copy !req
265. - Oh, should I have?
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
266. - Do you like riddles?
- Riddles?Copy !req
267. - Riddles?
- Could you answer one?Copy !req
268. - If I do, will you let me in?
- Why not? Let me see.Copy !req
269. Oh...Copy !req
270. Ready?Copy !req
271. If a section of fence is 68 feet by five,
and the parallel section is the same Iength,Copy !req
272. but both perpendicular sections
are twice as long...Copy !req
273. What is the key that will open the door?Copy !req
274. I'm sorry. I lost ya there.
What was that last part?Copy !req
275. What is the key
that will open the witch's door?Copy !req
276. - I thought it was an arithmetic thing.
- A skeleton key!Copy !req
277. That's what I was just gonna say.
A skeleton key.Copy !req
278. Zozi, yajumped the gun
on me there. Come on.Copy !req
279. - Ooh!
- Hey!Copy !req
280. - Mnh, mnh, mnh.Copy !req
281. Did you hear me say you could go in?Copy !req
282. - You go on ahead. I'll wait for you here.
- But...Copy !req
283. Apparently I'm not permitted,
and as much as it might pain meCopy !req
284. to not be with you at this critical juncture
in your life, I accept it, fully aware,Copy !req
285. as you should be,
that I am with you in spirit.Copy !req
286. - In spirit, huh?
- Always.Copy !req
287. "Once more into the breach,
dear friends, once more;Copy !req
288. "Or close the wall up
with our English dead! In peace...Copy !req
289. Thanks for mentioning the dead, really.
That's real helpful.Copy !req
290. Whoa!Copy !req
291. Oh, would you look at that.Copy !req
292. Hello!Copy !req
293. Prince Ivan?Copy !req
294. Anybody home?Copy !req
295. WhoCopy !req
296. is inCopy !req
297. my house?Copy !req
298. I smell a rat.Copy !req
299. A witch's life is very solitaryCopy !req
300. No one around to talk to but treesCopy !req
301. So many years of never making merryCopy !req
302. But I can feel a change in the breezeCopy !req
303. Cos tonight there's no one
in the hallwayCopy !req
304. No one left or rightCopy !req
305. But my hallways all sayCopy !req
306. Someone's in my house tonightCopy !req
307. No one by my fire.
No one sipping teaCopy !req
308. My fires burnin' higher.
Someone's in my house with meCopy !req
309. Witches are people
with a magic intuitionCopy !req
310. (men) And she's havin' a feelin'
that is, oh, so bewitchin'Copy !req
311. Even though no one's
hangin' round in the kitchen.Copy !req
312. We know that someone is near, dear!Copy !req
313. No one in the attic.
No one in my chairCopy !req
314. But I'm so emphatic,
someone's in my house somewhereCopy !req
315. - Where is he?
- Where are you?Copy !req
316. You wouldn't desert me.
You know it would hurt meCopy !req
317. - Where is he?
- Where are you?Copy !req
318. Little no one, you're through!Copy !req
319. No one in the mirror.
No one by the doorCopy !req
320. But I'm getting nearerCopy !req
321. Someone's in my house for sureCopy !req
322. No one small and dumb, no.
No one pink and white, heyCopy !req
323. - No one
- Here I comeCopy !req
324. Cos someone's in my houseCopy !req
325. Somewhere in her houseCopy !req
326. And no one's getting outCopy !req
327. TonightCopy !req
328. - Ah!
- Ooh!Copy !req
329. - Well, that was... convenient for you.
- Quiet!Copy !req
330. OK, sure, whatever you say.
Not another peep.Copy !req
331. You broke into my home.Copy !req
332. Well, actually, your big head out there
by the gate, he gave me a key.Copy !req
333. Why don't you hang onto that, that's fine.Copy !req
334. - Shh! Ah, you've come for the prince.
- Ah, mm-hmm.Copy !req
335. But why have they sent you?Copy !req
336. Filthy Iittle creature.
Not quite a rat, not quite a bird.Copy !req
337. You certainly are not
a worthy adversary for me,Copy !req
338. the evil Baba Yaga!Copy !req
339. Yeah, well, appearances can be deceiving.Copy !req
340. - I think.
- Yes, they can!Copy !req
341. I know where the prince is.Copy !req
342. Oh, what a shocker.Copy !req
343. OK, OK. I'll stop. I'll stop.Copy !req
344. However, in order for me
to show you where he is,Copy !req
345. you must first prove
that you are worthy of saving him.Copy !req
346. Oh, I'm worthy. I'm extremely worthy.
They don't come more worthy than...Copy !req
347. Sorry. Can't help it. Go ahead.Copy !req
348. There are three things
I seek within my forest.Copy !req
349. I will tell you where to find them
and you must bring them to me.Copy !req
350. Ah, quick question. Totally hypothetical,
of course. What if I can't?Copy !req
351. You can or you can't.
But if you can't, you will die,Copy !req
352. not a hero, and Moscow
will never see its prince again.Copy !req
353. Sounds like a real win-win.
When do I start?Copy !req
354. - You already have.
- I have?Copy !req
355. - Head south to the ice quarry
- Ice quarry...Copy !req
356. - and bring Piloff to me.
- Bring Piloff...Copy !req
357. That's it? Bring Piloff to ya? No, it's just
I thought you were gonna say more.Copy !req
358. How am I gonna know this Piloff?Copy !req
359. Go!Copy !req
360. And tell your furry friend
if he helps you in any way, you'll both die.Copy !req
361. OK, now that I really
should be writing down.Copy !req
362. Both die... It's the Iittle things.Copy !req
363. Wind.Copy !req
364. Ooh! Whoa! Hey!
OK, well, I guess I'm gonna go now.Copy !req
365. I'll catch ya Iater.Copy !req
366. He's actually rather charming
for an oversized skull.Copy !req
367. Once you get past his inquisitive nature.Copy !req
368. Gosh, I feel like we've
been walking for hours.Copy !req
369. - We have.
- I have absolutely no idea where we are.Copy !req
370. Mmm. Not unlike Oedipus,
blinded with his mother's brooch.Copy !req
371. - Left to wander the earth, never know...
- Zozi.Copy !req
372. I'm doing it again?
I'll stop. Is it getting cold?Copy !req
373. I must say, it is exciting.Copy !req
374. The first of three gifts
you must search out and bring to her.Copy !req
375. - Uh-huh.
- And I can't help in any way?Copy !req
376. That's what she said.Copy !req
377. I am freezing. Why is it getting so cold?Copy !req
378. Well, hello there!Copy !req
379. Bingo. Piloff.Copy !req
380. A-ha!Copy !req
381. Hello, there!Copy !req
382. I never get visitors!
You know what this is? It's a pleasure.Copy !req
383. - It's an absolute pleasure!
- You must be Piloff.Copy !req
384. And you must be lost. How delightful!Copy !req
385. That's it? Little hike, some cold weather,
bring this Iittle thing back to the witch?Copy !req
386. Huh, this is gonna be a piece a cake.Copy !req
387. Oh. Oh, my goodness.Copy !req
388. - Hey there, I'm Bartok.
- Oh!Copy !req
389. Sorry about this, my Iittle friend,
but I gotta bring you back to Baba Yaga.Copy !req
390. Ooh, dear. This isn't good.
You see, I'm stuck.Copy !req
391. - Ahh! Ow!
- It's unbearable.Copy !req
392. I don't even know how long I've been here.
What year is this?Copy !req
393. - Oh, boy!
- How's it going?Copy !req
394. It's not going good!Copy !req
395. - Ooh, that tickles!
- That's really...Copy !req
396. Pull, pull, pull! Yes! Yes!Copy !req
397. - Ahh! Ooh!
- It's enough to drive you crazy, isn't it?Copy !req
398. Ahh... oh, boy. Aah!Copy !req
399. - Whoa!Copy !req
400. From the sound of it,
you're making great progress.Copy !req
401. Oh, that was close. You know, I felt
like we almost had something there.Copy !req
402. Hmm.Copy !req
403. My goodness. You are determined.Copy !req
404. I love that.
This whole thing is very exciting.Copy !req
405. - Okey dokey.
- Artichokey!Copy !req
406. My friend,
we're going to Baba Yaga's.Copy !req
407. With or without the extra baggage.Copy !req
408. Such fun! I am having
entirely too much fun!Copy !req
409. Yeah, well, that makes one of us.Copy !req
410. Wa-hah!Copy !req
411. Whee!Copy !req
412. Hiya!Copy !req
413. - Careful! Careful!
- Whoa!Copy !req
414. Intriguing.Copy !req
415. Bartok, I've Ianded and I'm unharmed!Copy !req
416. - Are ya still on the boulder?
- Um, yes!Copy !req
417. Whoop-de-do.Copy !req
418. What a strong Iittle bat. You're actually
doing quite well. I'm very impressed.Copy !req
419. This is one of those days you never forget.Copy !req
420. When everything you wanted
to happen happens, only better.Copy !req
421. I'm beside myself! You know what? Bartok,
you should try and remember this too.Copy !req
422. Yeah, I'll make a mental note, all right?Copy !req
423. Oh, talk about fun!
We did it Bartok! That was a blast!Copy !req
424. Whee! Oh! Can you believe this Bartok?Copy !req
425. We dragged this big boulder
across the forest,Copy !req
426. and I pop off ten feet from the house.
That's funny!Copy !req
427. Yeah, that's hysterical.Copy !req
428. And where, pray tell,
do you think you're going?Copy !req
429. - In to see Baba Yaga.
- Do you have a key?Copy !req
430. No, she took it.
Ah, come on. You're kidding, right?Copy !req
431. Me, me, me...Copy !req
432. No matter how hard you hit me,
no matter how much I hurt,Copy !req
433. - Ahh!
- I'm always good for a Iaugh. What am I?Copy !req
434. - Hmm...
- A funny bone.Copy !req
435. Funny bone. Ha, ha. Key, please.Copy !req
436. Much obliged.Copy !req
437. You're really quite good at solving riddles.Copy !req
438. I say, have you heard this one?Copy !req
439. What starts off in the morning...Copy !req
440. - You brought me Piloff!
- Hello, Baba! I was stuck to a rock.Copy !req
441. Oh, boy.Copy !req
442. Ahh! Ow!Copy !req
443. - Unh-unh-unh. Don't sit.
- But I'm tired.Copy !req
444. - OK, OK. I'm not sitting!Copy !req
445. Now... go fetch me the crown of Oble,Copy !req
446. the metalworker.Copy !req
447. Oble. He sounds big. Is he big?Copy !req
448. - Enormous.
- He's much bigger than you.Copy !req
449. - Piloff!
- Sorry.Copy !req
450. - Go!
- But I'm exhausted.Copy !req
451. - If you don't, Prince Ivan will be doomed!
- Which way?Copy !req
452. Walk east until it's dark,Copy !req
453. then look for a fire in the forest.Copy !req
454. That's it, huh? Walk east and look for fire?Copy !req
455. No 'thank you'? No 'nice work'? Nothing.Copy !req
456. Yes, one last thing.Copy !req
457. - Give me the key.
- Why? I solved the riddle twice already.Copy !req
458. Give it to me.Copy !req
459. OK, that's yours. Take that.Copy !req
460. Sheesh, helping people
sure can take it outta ya.Copy !req
461. Good people of Moscow.
The prince has been taken from us.Copy !req
462. God willing, he will be returned,
but in the meantime,Copy !req
463. the affairs of state must continue.Copy !req
464. And I, as regent,
will do my best to carry on and ensureCopy !req
465. the safety of and respect forCopy !req
466. the throne of Russia.Copy !req
467. This is ridiculous. I'm out here
working my wings off and for what?Copy !req
468. If I get back there and she dumps this crown
into her stew, I'm gonna have a cow.Copy !req
469. Meanwhile, I ain't seen
hide nor hair of that prince.Copy !req
470. - Oh, would ya look at that?Copy !req
471. He is Iarge, there's no denying it.Copy !req
472. - But perhaps he's friendly.
- Ya think?Copy !req
473. Let's try, huh? I'll just... I'll just shout to him
and ask him if I can borrow his hat.Copy !req
474. I'll drop Baba Yaga's name.
Maybe they're friends. What could it hurt?Copy !req
475. Hello, good sir!Copy !req
476. Yeah, very good.
We come bearing gifts, sir.Copy !req
477. Well, not real gifts,
but gifts of warmth and affection.Copy !req
478. In exchange for which we'd just love
to bring your headdress back to Baba Yaga.Copy !req
479. Aaba Raaba. Pee wan foof poo mee nana!Copy !req
480. - What did he say?
- I just don't have a clue.Copy !req
481. Diction, my dear boy. It can make all the
difference in the world. Carry on, Bartok.Copy !req
482. OK. Hot, hot.! Oh, that's hot!
It's hot, it's hot!Copy !req
483. Manna ooo boorin eeeeear?Copy !req
484. Yeah, you and me both,
my friend, I'm sure.Copy !req
485. Ah, we just need to get that crown
of yours and we'll be on our way.Copy !req
486. - OK.
- Ahh...Copy !req
487. OK. Hmm... how about this!Copy !req
488. Well, how about...
Hey, it's hot, hot, hot, hot!Copy !req
489. Dadya buggeler.Copy !req
490. Part of the show, totally planned.Copy !req
491. Stay with me now
cos here comes the good stuff.Copy !req
492. Abraca-woozi!Copy !req
493. Buggeler?Copy !req
494. - Hey!
- Whoa!Copy !req
495. Zozi, let's roll!Copy !req
496. Bartok, he's still coming.Copy !req
497. Would you look at you!
You did it! You did it!Copy !req
498. - He's something special!
- Quiet, Piloff!Copy !req
499. Oh!Copy !req
500. And she drops it in the soup... Perfect.Copy !req
501. Tomorrow is the most difficult task of all.Copy !req
502. Oh, dear.Copy !req
503. Hold the onions.Copy !req
504. Yeah, that's to go, please.Copy !req
505. Eyeeee-ya-yaa!Copy !req
506. What's with the ruckus
first thing in the morning?Copy !req
507. What happened to a nudge?
Or the smell of a nice cup a coffee?Copy !req
508. Using only this crown
and the boulder from the quarry,Copy !req
509. pluck the magic feather from the sky.Copy !req
510. Let me stop ya forjust one sec.Copy !req
511. It's early, I haven't eaten in two days
and I'm a Iittle agitated.Copy !req
512. - What does this have to do with the prince?
- Everything.Copy !req
513. From where I'm standin' I'm just
runnin' errands for your broth there.Copy !req
514. I am so sorry. How insensitive of me.Copy !req
515. - Are you still tired?
- Honestly? Yes, yes, I am.Copy !req
516. - Are you awake now?
- Yes. Yes.Copy !req
517. - You were talking about a feather?
- A magic feather.Copy !req
518. It floats high in the air,
in the middle of a clearing.Copy !req
519. One feather comin' at ya.Copy !req
520. One last thing...Copy !req
521. - What's that?
- You cannot fly.Copy !req
522. Whoa!Copy !req
523. Oh! Ow!Copy !req
524. - You can't fly?
- Nope.Copy !req
525. Ow!Copy !req
526. How do I do this? Help me here.Copy !req
527. I can't.Copy !req
528. Hmm, maybe if I just try...Copy !req
529. Careful now, I just wanna...Copy !req
530. Aaaah! Ay! Hot!Copy !req
531. Oh, I'm exhausted.
I haven't eaten in days.Copy !req
532. This isn't the life for me. Forget it.Copy !req
533. A possible hero in youCopy !req
534. I tried. I did the best I can do.Copy !req
535. We can get along without Moscow
and I won't let that witch find me.Copy !req
536. Ahh, well, thank goodness.Copy !req
537. Huh?Copy !req
538. If you had completed this task, everywhere
we went people would know who we are.Copy !req
539. We'd spend the rest of our Iives
running around having to help people.Copy !req
540. The incessant touching of admirers.
It's more than one can bear.Copy !req
541. - It certainly is.
- Now we can run away.Copy !req
542. Hide from Baba Yaga for a few years.
I'm behind on my hibernating anyway.Copy !req
543. Then take the show back on the road
and you can go on pretending to beCopy !req
544. what you always wanted to be.Copy !req
545. Besides, this is absurd.Copy !req
546. How are you supposed to get 35 feet
in the air with a Iarge crown and a boulder?Copy !req
547. You just can't do it.Copy !req
548. Well, no, I can't!
Especially now that it's all in pieces.Copy !req
549. It's, um, in pieces.Copy !req
550. Ah-ha!Copy !req
551. But of course.Copy !req
552. Hi-ya!Copy !req
553. Ta-da!Copy !req
554. Now we get the prince!Copy !req
555. When is a door not a door?Copy !req
556. When it's ajar. Child's play.Copy !req
557. Now open wide. I'm comin' through.Copy !req
558. Ha-ha! I did it.
There ya go. Three for three.Copy !req
559. You didn't think I had it in me, did ya?Copy !req
560. Now hand over the prince.Copy !req
561. You have given me the three things
I needed from the forest.Copy !req
562. But before I show you where the prince is
I need something from you.Copy !req
563. But how could I know what that is
if you never told me?Copy !req
564. Hmm!Copy !req
565. Isn't this a beauty?
They don't make 'em like this anymore.Copy !req
566. No, that's not it.Copy !req
567. OK.Copy !req
568. OK, OK, here it is, the mother Iode.Copy !req
569. An autographed portrait of Ivan the Terrible.
I caught him in a good mood.Copy !req
570. No, that's not it.Copy !req
571. No, huh?Copy !req
572. Well, how about...Copy !req
573. It's something from here.Copy !req
574. Huh?Copy !req
575. Here! Here ya go.Copy !req
576. Hey, what's so funny?
Hey, stop it!Copy !req
577. Why don't you stop Iaughing
at other people's misery!Copy !req
578. You never said I had to give ya somethin'.
You're a cheat and a Iiar!Copy !req
579. Ya babbling old woman
with your iron teeth and your hocus-pocus!Copy !req
580. It's no wonder everybody hates ya!Copy !req
581. Bartok!Copy !req
582. Yeah, what do you want?Copy !req
583. Goodbye.Copy !req
584. Oh, yeah, sure, goodbye.Copy !req
585. Huh?Copy !req
586. Um, what are you doing?Copy !req
587. I'm just being a silly old woman.Copy !req
588. I didn't mean what I said.
Look, nobody hates you, OK?Copy !req
589. I just... I...Copy !req
590. Oh... Oh, I wish I could give you
what you need.Copy !req
591. Oh!Copy !req
592. Oh!Copy !req
593. You just did.Copy !req
594. Huh?Copy !req
595. The most important ingredient,
from your heart.Copy !req
596. And now he is worthy
and so he shall see.Copy !req
597. Come!Copy !req
598. Come! Hurry up, you Iittle rat bird!
I don't have all day.Copy !req
599. The tower!Copy !req
600. Uh... You never took him, did ya?Copy !req
601. I never said I did.Copy !req
602. - You never took any children!
- People will believe what they will.Copy !req
603. I'm happy to Iive alone in the woods
and not be bothered.Copy !req
604. There!Copy !req
605. Take this. You may need it.Copy !req
606. - What is it?
- A magic potion.Copy !req
607. This will allow you to be your innermost self.Copy !req
608. When you drink it,Copy !req
609. whatever you are in your heart of hearts,Copy !req
610. you will become on the outside, tenfold.Copy !req
611. Wait a minute. You mean the whole time
I was doin' all that stuff for me?Copy !req
612. Mmm-hm.Copy !req
613. Now leave me and save the prince!Copy !req
614. Um, could I...Copy !req
615. Um...Copy !req
616. How about a...Copy !req
617. - a hug?
- A hug?Copy !req
618. C'mon, bring it in.Copy !req
619. A hug!Copy !req
620. Don't push your Iuck, Bartok.Copy !req
621. All right, all right, all right!
I'm outta here. Colour me gone.Copy !req
622. And now, all we have to do is tell 'em
the prince is in the tower and, boom,Copy !req
623. we're on to St Petersburg.Copy !req
624. - What are you doing?
- Finding an appropriate character.Copy !req
625. Zozi, I hate to break it to you,
but you can't go. They think you're dead.Copy !req
626. That is exactly why a rich
and multilayered character is crucial.Copy !req
627. The right wardrobe, a dab of well-placed
greasepaint, and none will be the wiser.Copy !req
628. Um, Zozi, just let me go tell 'em
where the prince is.Copy !req
629. What if something goes wrong?
We still don't know who took the prince.Copy !req
630. Yeah, but... What is this?Copy !req
631. Cabbage.Copy !req
632. Cabbage?
That's your character? Cabbage?Copy !req
633. You're gonna blend right in with the crowd.
A big, six-foot tall cabbage guy.Copy !req
634. Yes, but what could be more apropos...Copy !req
635. than Simka, the Russian peasant woman?Copy !req
636. I'm going, OK?Copy !req
637. You wait here.Copy !req
638. - But...
- But nothing, OK? I'll be right back.Copy !req
639. Ouch.Copy !req
640. Ah, brave bat!Copy !req
641. You have returned
from your difficultjourney.Copy !req
642. Healthy, alive!Copy !req
643. Apparently no worse for the wear.Copy !req
644. Our congratulations!Copy !req
645. But where is the prince?Copy !req
646. The prince never left the city.Copy !req
647. Never left...?
I don't understand.Copy !req
648. OK, it's a Iittle complicated, and fairly
long-winded so everybody listen up, huh?Copy !req
649. I left here, a fanfare, down into the forest.Copy !req
650. Lots of trees there,
some gargoyles, big, big skull.Copy !req
651. Solved a riddle,
met Baba Yaga. Not a Iooker, folks.Copy !req
652. Did three tasks.
Not important what they are,Copy !req
653. but, at this point, I'm confident of my
physical, emotional, and intellectual prowess.Copy !req
654. But the prince?Copy !req
655. Yeah, hold on. I'm getting there.Copy !req
656. Me and the witch have a disagreement,
some fisticuffs ensue.Copy !req
657. I come out on top
and she slips me this here potion. See?Copy !req
658. A potion? For what?Copy !req
659. Well, to be all that I can be, basically.Copy !req
660. Since I did all the tasks,
I'm worthy of saving the prince.Copy !req
661. It makes you tenfold on the outside
what you are on the inside.Copy !req
662. That's my understanding anyway.Copy !req
663. Eh, eh, eh.
Look, but don't touch, fella.Copy !req
664. Sounds impressive, I know.
Let me break it down.Copy !req
665. Essentially, if I ever need to be
more powerful than I already am,Copy !req
666. I just give this here sucker the old heave-ho.Copy !req
667. Yes, but where is the prince?Copy !req
668. Prince IvanCopy !req
669. is in the tower.Copy !req
670. What?Copy !req
671. The tower, the tower. Tall building.
Just outside. You can't miss it.Copy !req
672. Oh, my goodness! Well, weCopy !req
673. must go to the tower at once.Copy !req
674. Come!Copy !req
675. I warn you, if the prince
is not where you say he is,Copy !req
676. and this has all been
part of some elaborate performance,Copy !req
677. I assure you, Bartok the Magnificent,Copy !req
678. the city of Moscow will have your head.Copy !req
679. Ta-da!Copy !req
680. What'd I tell ya?Copy !req
681. - Hi, Ivan!
- Bartok?Copy !req
682. My prince!Copy !req
683. I got worried for a sec while we were climbin'
the stairs there, I don't mind tellin' ya.Copy !req
684. You, with the talk
about takin' my head and everything.Copy !req
685. I still might.Copy !req
686. Hey! hey!Copy !req
687. You imbecile! What is that?Copy !req
688. That... That's a prince?Copy !req
689. Very good.
Why didn't you do what I said?Copy !req
690. I did! I dressed up like the witch,
left that tooth, and took the prince.Copy !req
691. - And what about him?
- You told me you wanted him out of the way.Copy !req
692. Well, what's he doing here?Copy !req
693. Well, I put him in that cage
in the tippytop of the tower.Copy !req
694. How much more out of the way could he be?Copy !req
695. Dead, you imbecile!
Dead is what he could be!Copy !req
696. Dead? But he's the prince.Copy !req
697. - May I interject something here?
- No, you may not.Copy !req
698. OK.Copy !req
699. I never thought I'd have to see you again.Copy !req
700. Stupid Iittle bat.Copy !req
701. It was all so perfect.Copy !req
702. EIiminate the prince, frame Baba Yaga,
send a hapless entertainer to save him.Copy !req
703. And yet, here you are.Copy !req
704. The conquering hero,
returning from battle with all the answers.Copy !req
705. Well, all the better.Copy !req
706. Vol, get the prince.Copy !req
707. Yes, Your Regency.Copy !req
708. You three are the only ones who know.Copy !req
709. And none of you
will ever leave this room...Copy !req
710. alive.Copy !req
711. I'll take that!Copy !req
712. Do svidanya.Copy !req
713. Poor Bartok the Magnificent.Copy !req
714. He's come so far and done so much
for the good people of Russia.Copy !req
715. Such a shame
he'll be remembered as a Iiar.Copy !req
716. Ten times more powerful than I already am.Copy !req
717. Tenfold on the outside
what I am on the inside.Copy !req
718. - Ludmilla, please!
- No! No!Copy !req
719. Oh, not to worry.Copy !req
720. The water will be along shortly.Copy !req
721. I'm off to claim my throne.Copy !req
722. Starting today,
they are going to welcome a new girlCopy !req
723. Starting today,
no more Iying or sneaking aboutCopy !req
724. They'll see someone Iovely as a flowerCopy !req
725. Someone who is totally in powerCopy !req
726. Starting today
when the real Ludmilla comes outCopy !req
727. Starting today,
every rule's guaranteed to be broken.Copy !req
728. BrokenCopy !req
729. Starting today,
every whisper turns into a shout!Copy !req
730. Aaargh!Copy !req
731. I feel all my inhibitions moultingCopy !req
732. More than just the peasants are revoltingCopy !req
733. Starting today
when the real Ludmilla comes outCopy !req
734. Starting today
is the grand transformationCopy !req
735. Hide, run away or go on a vacationCopy !req
736. Starting today,
she'll be ruling the nation, no doubtCopy !req
737. Oh, yes, and...Copy !req
738. Starting today, the whole world
will be mine on a platterCopy !req
739. Every man on a plateCopy !req
740. Kneel, you peasant, you peon,
you dim-witted IoutCopy !req
741. Gee, the future looks greatCopy !req
742. Now my inner beauty is appearingCopy !req
743. I can almost hear the peasants cheeringCopy !req
744. Starting today when the real LudmillaCopy !req
745. Proves she's a ruler to rival AttillaCopy !req
746. Starting today
when the real LudmillaCopy !req
747. Comes out!Copy !req
748. People of Moscow!Copy !req
749. My people!Copy !req
750. Oh, my goodness!Copy !req
751. Vol, the water's rising, hurry!
Bartok, help!Copy !req
752. Help!Copy !req
753. Pssst! Bartok!Copy !req
754. Whoa!Copy !req
755. - Eh? Zozi?
- Yes. What happened?Copy !req
756. Oh, you know, not much.Copy !req
757. Prince Ivan and his guard are about to drown.
I'm next cos I can't get out of the cage.Copy !req
758. Ludmilla drank Baba's potion
and is about to take over the kingdom.Copy !req
759. Other than that,
everything is, you know, hunky-dory.Copy !req
760. I've got an idea.Copy !req
761. - (Vol) We're stuck!
- Don't leave us here!Copy !req
762. Zozi?Copy !req
763. I believe I've separated my shoulder.Copy !req
764. - Hey! Help us down here!
- Hurry!Copy !req
765. One more time oughta do it.
Just give it a Iittle more, you know, umph.Copy !req
766. Oh, that's what I've been doing wrong.
I've been Iacking...Copy !req
767. Uuuumph!Copy !req
768. Arrgh!Copy !req
769. Lemme ask ya. Ya mentioned something
about having an idea.Copy !req
770. Was, was this what you came up with?
You can be honest.Copy !req
771. I may have made a slight miscalculation.Copy !req
772. I'm slipping!Copy !req
773. I'm sorry, Your Highness.Copy !req
774. Ah, Zozi?Copy !req
775. Uh-oh...Copy !req
776. Ta-da!Copy !req
777. I'm reminded of Euripides' character
Hippolytus.Copy !req
778. Whose own life hung in the balance.Copy !req
779. Wronged by Aphrodite.Copy !req
780. Dying, nobly, in his forgiveness of Theseu...Copy !req
781. Aaargh!Copy !req
782. You gotta stop Ludmilla. Go on!Copy !req
783. Whoa!Copy !req
784. The potion!Copy !req
785. Not so fast!Copy !req
786. Hey, ya got yourself
one hard head there, really.Copy !req
787. Whoa!Copy !req
788. "At night the sea began
to rise in waves of death.Copy !req
789. Ship against ship
the Thracian stormwind shattered us."Copy !req
790. Oh, you're very good.Copy !req
791. Thank you.Copy !req
792. First time I performed that was in '67,
the Siberian Greek Tragedy Festival.Copy !req
793. Do more!Copy !req
794. All right. That's enough already with the fire.Copy !req
795. Fire! Fire! The town's on fire!Copy !req
796. We need water! Lots of water...Copy !req
797. This is gonna stop her.
It's time for the buggeler.Copy !req
798. It's good, no?Copy !req
799. In addition ya' gotta realise that
these are all a different size and weight.Copy !req
800. That increases
the Ievel of difficulty exponentially.Copy !req
801. Step right this way.Copy !req
802. "The man who is well-minded to the state...Copy !req
803. from me, in death and life,
shall have his honour."Copy !req
804. Please, that's completely unnecessary.Copy !req
805. Here, dragon Iady!Copy !req
806. - Zozi?
- Bartok!Copy !req
807. We're over here!Copy !req
808. Ha-ha!Copy !req
809. Hey, where's the water?Copy !req
810. Yeah, I'm working on it.Copy !req
811. Hurry!Copy !req
812. Hey, good for you!
Ya got it. Congrats!Copy !req
813. Oh, so close on that one.Copy !req
814. I've been where you are.
I had the whole thing with a magic feather.Copy !req
815. It's frustrating, isn't it?
It's right there, but ya can't get at it.Copy !req
816. It's uh... It's not fun.Copy !req
817. Much better there.
Just up a Iittle bit and to the left.Copy !req
818. Have a nice trip. See ya next fall.Copy !req
819. Bartok, where's the water?Copy !req
820. Talk about your big finish.
You can't write stuff like this.Copy !req
821. Well done, my friend. Well done.Copy !req
822. Yeah, well, right back at ya, my friend.Copy !req
823. - Some wicked witch.
- Yeah.Copy !req
824. It was those tasks that helped you become
what you always wanted to be.Copy !req
825. And I never gave her anything.Copy !req
826. What do you mean?
You gave her what she needed most.Copy !req
827. And what only a true hero could.Copy !req
828. Your compassion, Bartok.Copy !req
829. You gave her your compassion.Copy !req
830. Hey, I did, didn't I?
She got upset. And I helped her out.Copy !req
831. Boom! I just gave her my compassion.
Didn't even think about it.Copy !req
832. When ya got it, ya got it, I guess.Copy !req
833. Tell ya what. I'm one heck of a guy.Copy !req
834. You certainly are.Copy !req
835. For a bat.Copy !req
836. Citizens of Moscow!Copy !req
837. Please stand with me and
give thanks to Bartok the Magnificent.Copy !req
838. He has saved us
and we are forever in his debt.Copy !req
839. Please, it's embarrassing.Copy !req
840. Psst.Copy !req
841. Oh, I almost forgot.Copy !req
842. Here ya go.Copy !req
843. - That was my gift to you.
- Nonsense, Your Highness.Copy !req
844. Let me tell ya somethin' about that ring.
That ring is a ring for royalty.Copy !req
845. Huh?Copy !req
846. How's tricks?Copy !req
847. How's tricks!Copy !req
848. I think he did really well, don't you, Baba?Copy !req
849. Piloff, sshhh!Copy !req
850. Congratulations.Copy !req
851. Thank you...
for everything.Copy !req
852. Yes, well,Copy !req
853. fine.Copy !req
854. Hang on a sec. Is it me
or is there a lot a love up here right now?Copy !req
855. Ya know what? I think it's time
for that hug I was talkin' about.Copy !req
856. - Again with the hug!
- C'mon, Piloff. Group hug.Copy !req
857. - Stop it now.
- Bring it in, everybody.Copy !req
858. I love hugs. Ooooh!Copy !req
859. OK! Enough!Copy !req
860. I'll be seein' ya.Copy !req
861. You can count on it.Copy !req
862. See yo soon! Auf Wiedersehen!Copy !req
863. Bye, Bartok.Copy !req
864. Goodbye, Bartok the Magnificent!Copy !req
865. Uh, see ya Iater, folks.Copy !req