1. (chorus) In the Russian woods,
there's an evil witchCopy !req
2. People only whisper out her name in frightCopy !req
3. - (men) Teeth of sharpened iron
- (women) Hands that catch the windCopy !req
4. (chorus) Steals the children
sleeping in their beds at nightCopy !req
5. She flies in a mortar and pestle
through darkened Russian skiesCopy !req
6. If you see her, running would be wiseCopy !req
7. Baba YagaCopy !req
8. - (woman) Baba Yaga
- (child) Baba YagaCopy !req
9. (chorus) The witch of the Iron Forest,
her evil is next to noneCopy !req
10. Baba YagaCopy !req
11. - (man) Baba Yaga
- (man #2) Baba YagaCopy !req
12. (chorus) The wolves are afraid to chase her,
the wind is afraid to race herCopy !req
13. All Russia's afraid to face her,
except for one!Copy !req
14. Women and children, in front.
Gentlemen behind, please.Copy !req
15. Don't push.
There's plenty of room for everybody.Copy !req
16. Now don't try this at home.Copy !req
17. Er, part of the show, totally planned.Copy !req
18. Stay with me now, folks,
cos here comes the good stuff.Copy !req
19. Once in Mongolia, I noticed a fireCopy !req
20. Whole city burning
and the flames getting higherCopy !req
21. They're yelling
"Save us or we're all gonna bake!"Copy !req
22. I ate the flames
and then I drank the whole IakeCopy !req
23. They called me Bartok the MagnificentCopy !req
24. The specifically, terrifically magnificentCopy !req
25. A mammal so inflammable
he saved the dayCopy !req
26. I tell you, B-A-R-T-OKCopy !req
27. Folks, that's 10,000 pounds of pressure.Copy !req
28. Go over there at once
and put a stop to that inane Iittle bat.Copy !req
29. Ludmilla, leave him alone.
I like him, he's funny.Copy !req
30. - Your Highness, can you...
- Yes?Copy !req
31. As you wish.Copy !req
32. Leave him be.Copy !req
33. Folks, this here's a dragon.
An exact replica. 150, 200 tons easy.Copy !req
34. A fire spitter. Kill ya with a flick of the tail.
Careful there, sir. Better safe than sorry.Copy !req
35. One time in Hungary
this dragon appearsCopy !req
36. He's very hung-a-ry,
no dinner in yearsCopy !req
37. And then he grabs me
and I'm practically throughCopy !req
38. I summon all my strength, and using
the dragon's body weight against him,Copy !req
39. I throw him off me.
And I gave him a one to the solar plexus.Copy !req
40. And a two to the kidneys!Copy !req
41. He was deflated
cos I knew my kung fuCopy !req
42. That's why I'm Bartok the MagnificentCopy !req
43. With a ha and a hiya
that are significantCopy !req
44. That dragon hasn't eaten
since that fateful dayCopy !req
45. Thanks to B-A-R-T-OKCopy !req
46. (crowd) Bartok the MagnificentCopy !req
47. Undeniably, reliably magnificentCopy !req
48. And heaven help a harpy
who gets in my wayCopy !req
49. I guess I'm just a natural or so they sayCopy !req
50. (crowd) This bat'II go to battle for you
come what mayCopy !req
51. I tell ya...Copy !req
52. (crowd) B - A - R - T - OK!Copy !req
53. OK. Great crowd! Good people!
Oh, please, you're too kind!Copy !req
54. - (sighs) Show's over.
- Thank goodness.Copy !req
55. Hey, hey, hey, hey. OK.Copy !req
56. Not so fast there, big fella!Copy !req
57. Oh, really?
Well, why don't you try this on for size?Copy !req
58. Abraca-watch it!Copy !req
59. Now watch very closely.
There's a half hitch.Copy !req
60. And here's a sailor's breastplate.Copy !req
61. And this one's called ropin' the bear.Copy !req
62. Yes! Yes!Copy !req
63. Hi-ya! Hoo-wah!Copy !req
64. Hey, thanks a lot, folks.
Really, thank you. That's too kind.Copy !req
65. Oh!Copy !req
66. Wow.Copy !req
67. Bravo! Bravo!Copy !req
68. (man) Prince Ivan!Copy !req
69. Prince Ivan! That is a ring for a Romanov.
No commoner may ever wear that!Copy !req
70. - Why?
- Because... (chuckles)Copy !req
71. Because that is how it has always been.Copy !req
72. Well, perhaps it's a time for a change.Copy !req
73. Very well, Your Highness. Let us go!Copy !req
74. Thank you for helping my people.Copy !req
75. Please, don't be silly.
It was the least I could do.Copy !req
76. Bye!Copy !req
77. Wow, would ya look at the shine on that?Copy !req
78. You can't go around
giving royal jewels to commoners.Copy !req
79. Especially street performers.
You only encourage them.Copy !req
80. Well, I wanted to encourage him.
Ludmilla, don't be that way.Copy !req
81. The people Iiked the bat.
Did you see how he made them smile?Copy !req
82. It was nice to see them happy.Copy !req
83. - Nonsense.
- I thought he was funny.Copy !req
84. - Vol, what do you think?
- I thought so.Copy !req
85. When the feathers cleared, and the bat's
standing there holding a chicken.Copy !req
86. - That's good stuff.
- See?Copy !req
87. Or... when he punched the...Copy !req
88. Silence!Copy !req
89. Yes, Your Highness, I know.Copy !req
90. But one day, you'll be tsar.
You must show respect for your crown.Copy !req
91. If you don't,
how can you expect the peasants to?Copy !req
92. - Your Highness, are you listening to me?
- I'm tired of listening to you.Copy !req
93. If I am the future tsar,
then I will do as I choose.Copy !req
94. And it is you who must respect the crown.Copy !req
95. My apologies.Copy !req
96. (Bartok) One for me and one for me.Copy !req
97. One, two, three for me.Copy !req
98. One, two, three for me.Copy !req
99. And one, two, three, four for me.Copy !req
100. - (roars)
- (screams)Copy !req
101. Why do you do that?
I hate when you do that.Copy !req
102. Ah, that never fails to amuse me.Copy !req
103. Ha, ha, ha.Copy !req
104. You're not going to let the fact
that I got the better of youCopy !req
105. ruin quite possibly, one of our
finer performances to date. Hmm?Copy !req
106. You were inspiring today:Copy !req
107. focused, fully in the moment,Copy !req
108. exceeding well beyond
what your talent would indicate.Copy !req
109. - Thanks a lot.
- And I...Copy !req
110. Well, suffice it to say,
the performance of my death todayCopy !req
111. would have shamed Prometheus.
Bound to a cliff...Copy !req
112. OK, OK, OK, Zozi,
with the cliff and the thing. Sheesh!Copy !req
113. I wish you could hear yourself.
It's quite irritating.Copy !req
114. Critics.Copy !req
115. - And what, pray tell, are you doing now?
- Divvying up the spoils. What do ya mean?Copy !req
116. This again? Why not just pool our assets?
We're always together.Copy !req
117. - No, no, no. Fair is fair.
- You're not planning to keep that, are you?Copy !req
118. What are you talking about?
He gave it to me.Copy !req
119. Yes, but he's a child.Copy !req
120. It is a ring for royalty.
You should know better.Copy !req
121. - Yeah, well, maybe I don't.
- Well, I can only hope one day you will.Copy !req
122. There we go.
Perfectly balanced, my friend. Here.Copy !req
123. - Perfectly balanced?
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
124. - Both sides are the same?
- Exactly even.Copy !req
125. Good. Ha! Then you won't mind
if I take this side?Copy !req
126. Whoa, whoa, wait a second there, fella.
What happened to pooling our assets?Copy !req
127. - Will you give the prince back his ring?
- Ah! What's the hurry?Copy !req
128. He's not going anywhere.Copy !req
129. Shee!Copy !req
130. Oh! Oh, oh, this can't be!Copy !req
131. - Last night, he was in bed...
- Have you searched the grounds?Copy !req
132. - Every inch.
- And?Copy !req
133. Nothing. He's gone.Copy !req
134. Oh, good heavens!
What is this?Copy !req
135. A clue?Copy !req
136. We must inform the peasants.Copy !req
137. Good people of Moscow,
the prince has been kidnapped.Copy !req
138. But I know who has stolen our tsar.Copy !req
139. For she left this iron tooth behind.Copy !req
140. - Baba Yaga!
- Baba Yaga!Copy !req
141. Yes, Baba Yaga!Copy !req
142. Can anyone help us?Copy !req
143. Think, good people, think.Copy !req
144. Who? Who can rescue our prince
from the evil Baba Yaga?Copy !req
145. I know someone.Copy !req
146. Hey, Zozi! Will you take it easy up there?Copy !req
147. Avast there, me pint-sized matey.
Man the helm. Baton down the hatches.Copy !req
148. Rough seas ahead.
There's a storm a'comin.Copy !req
149. Heave-ho, hard of starboard.Copy !req
150. (Zozi/Parrot) All hands, clear the deck.
Splice the mainsail.Copy !req
151. - Enemies on the horizon.
- What, somebody's coming?Copy !req
152. Aar, I spy with my, my Iittle eye...Copy !req
153. Cossacks. Cossacks!Copy !req
154. Cossacks! I knew
you shouldn't have kept that ring.Copy !req
155. Quick, hide. If they see
you're not dead, we will be.Copy !req
156. Hurry! Hurry, hide!Copy !req
157. - (Cossack) Halt!
- (Bartok) Halting.Copy !req
158. Are you Bartok the Magnificent?Copy !req
159. No. No, I'm not. Never have been. AIthough
I hear he is quite gifted. A real talent.Copy !req
160. - Silence!
- All right then, I'll just be quiet then.Copy !req
161. That's no problem for me to be quiet.
I'll shush.Copy !req
162. What is that?Copy !req
163. That's Bertok. Bertok the Magnificent.Copy !req
164. It's really quite different.
I take my show in a whole nother direction.Copy !req
165. You are coming with us.Copy !req
166. Oh, no, fellas, I really... I have a thing.Copy !req
167. OK, then. That'll be fun.Copy !req
168. Hello, Your Royal Impressiveness.
Listen, if this is about the ring, just take it.Copy !req
169. Bow before the regent! Bow!Copy !req
170. OK, there, bowing.
Don't have to tell me twice.Copy !req
171. I love a good bow.Copy !req
172. Oh, Bartok the Magnificent,
we are so glad you came.Copy !req
173. Please, I... You are?Copy !req
174. Hmm?Copy !req
175. Our young tsar has been taken
by the evil witch, Baba Yaga.Copy !req
176. Our people and the royal family
have called on you to save him.Copy !req
177. Uh-huh.Copy !req
178. Don't even think...Copy !req
179. Go to the Iron ForestCopy !req
180. and return with our tsar.Copy !req
181. Uh, good people of the fair city of Moscow,Copy !req
182. it would give me no greater pleasure
than to risk my life,Copy !req
183. so that I might bring back
your fabulous prince.Copy !req
184. And I mean that. I wouldn't just say that.
He's something special.Copy !req
185. Unfortunately,
my schedule is extremely tight.Copy !req
186. Let's see, I got a hydra in St Petersburg.Copy !req
187. I gotta be in the Ukraine on the 20th.
I can't get outta that.Copy !req
188. Hmm, perhaps I could squeeze it in
when I get back from Minsk.Copy !req
189. I assure you,
you will be handsomely rewarded.Copy !req
190. No, no, really. I...
Well, perhaps I could push the hydra to June.Copy !req
191. I mean, no. I really... I can't.Copy !req
192. Hydra, terrible. Eight heads, flailing about,
eating people. It's not pretty.Copy !req
193. But, thank you. Thank you very much.Copy !req
194. Mr Bartok?Copy !req
195. Oh, boy, here comes trouble.Copy !req
196. Oh, please, magnificent Bartok, save my tsar.Copy !req
197. Don't do it.Copy !req
198. Um, well, you see, it's complicated, but...Copy !req
199. But, I...Copy !req
200. Please.Copy !req
201. (sighs) I'll do it.Copy !req
202. Oh, no.Copy !req
203. Hey, come on, huh?
How often do you get to rescue a tsar?Copy !req
204. Yay, Bartok!Copy !req
205. - Or get eaten by a witch?
- (Ludmilla) Thank you!Copy !req
206. OK, thanks for the sendoff, fellas.
I'll take it from here.Copy !req
207. Zozi, how's it going in there?Copy !req
208. Listen, I'll let ya out in a second,Copy !req
209. but first, I just wanna let you know
what a very special friend I think you are.Copy !req
210. (chuckles) You're warm,
you're affectionate, you're supportive,Copy !req
211. honest, thrifty, clean, reverent...Copy !req
212. You're furious.Copy !req
213. You're upset with me, aren't ya? You're
peeved. You're fuming. You're incensed.Copy !req
214. - Bartok...
- Hang on, I'm not finished.Copy !req
215. - You're beside yourself.
- Bartok?Copy !req
216. I mean, Iiterally,
you're here and yet you're here.Copy !req
217. (chuckles) You see the... You get it?Copy !req
218. Because you're here and yet...Copy !req
219. They all can't be gems, all right? I'm done.Copy !req
220. I believe we should do it.Copy !req
221. It was the Iittle girl. She killed me.
Did ya hear the Iilt in her voice?Copy !req
222. Nobody could resist that!Copy !req
223. - I'm sorry. What'd you say?
- We should do it.Copy !req
224. - We should?
- Yes.Copy !req
225. - There's no denying it will be difficult.
- Exactly!Copy !req
226. - Even dangerous.
- Dangerous?Copy !req
227. OK, then that's it,
we're definitely going to St Petersburg.Copy !req
228. Bartok, these people asked you
to help them for a reason.Copy !req
229. Because they saw something in you.Copy !req
230. Is it so hard for you to see it in yourself?Copy !req
231. Somebody needs you,
and that's how it startsCopy !req
232. Someone believes you'll come throughCopy !req
233. You're scared, so what?Copy !req
234. I'll bet you've gotCopy !req
235. A possible hero in youCopy !req
236. It's more than courage
or just being strongCopy !req
237. Those things are easy to doCopy !req
238. Have faith, take heart.
He's kind, he's smartCopy !req
239. That possible hero in youCopy !req
240. - Close your eyes
- I think I see it.Copy !req
241. - You're unafraid
- I just might be.Copy !req
242. I can almost predictCopy !req
243. No more tricks, no more false pretences
from the back of a wagon.Copy !req
244. - Maybe I'll save a life someday.
- Or slay a dragonCopy !req
245. - Somebody needs you
- What else can ya do?Copy !req
246. But take your chances and seeCopy !req
247. (both) We're on our wayCopy !req
248. - All right?
- OK.Copy !req
249. (both) A possible heroCopy !req
250. - Impossible hero
- A possible heroCopy !req
251. - In you
- Me?Copy !req
252. Yes, you.Copy !req
253. In meCopy !req
254. (Bartok) Gee, who does her Iandscaping?Copy !req
255. OK. Well, it's official. I'm frightened.Copy !req
256. Well, there's your witch's hut.Copy !req
257. (Bartok) Gee, Iooky here.Copy !req
258. I'm terribly sorry. Did I startle you?Copy !req
259. Yeah, yeah. You could say that.Copy !req
260. Hmm. Now, why have you come here?Copy !req
261. I've come for Prince Ivan.Copy !req
262. Delightful. And how might I help you?Copy !req
263. You let him in to talk to that evil witch
and he'll handle the rest.Copy !req
264. And you're certain you're up to the task?Copy !req
265. Ever heard of Bartok the Magnificent?Copy !req
266. - Oh, should I have?
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
267. - Do you like riddles?
- Riddles?Copy !req
268. - Riddles?
- Could you answer one?Copy !req
269. - If I do, will you let me in?
- Why not? Let me see.Copy !req
270. Oh... (chuckling)Copy !req
271. Ready?Copy !req
272. If a section of fence is 68 feet by five,
and the parallel section is the same Iength,Copy !req
273. but both perpendicular sections
are twice as long...Copy !req
274. What is the key that will open the door?Copy !req
275. I'm sorry. I lost ya there.
What was that last part?Copy !req
276. What is the key
that will open the witch's door?Copy !req
277. - I thought it was an arithmetic thing.
- A skeleton key!Copy !req
278. That's what I was just gonna say.
A skeleton key.Copy !req
279. Zozi, yajumped the gun
on me there. Come on.Copy !req
280. - (Zozi) Ooh!
- Hey!Copy !req
281. - Mnh, mnh, mnh.
- (groans)Copy !req
282. Did you hear me say you could go in?Copy !req
283. - You go on ahead. I'll wait for you here.
- But...Copy !req
284. Apparently I'm not permitted,
and as much as it might pain meCopy !req
285. to not be with you at this critical juncture
in your life, I accept it, fully aware,Copy !req
286. as you should be,
that I am with you in spirit.Copy !req
287. - In spirit, huh?
- Always.Copy !req
288. "Once more into the breach,
dear friends, once more;Copy !req
289. "Or close the wall up
with our English dead! In peace...Copy !req
290. Thanks for mentioning the dead, really.
That's real helpful.Copy !req
291. Whoa!Copy !req
292. Oh, would you look at that.Copy !req
293. Hello!Copy !req
294. Prince Ivan?Copy !req
295. Anybody home?Copy !req
296. WhoCopy !req
297. is inCopy !req
298. my house?Copy !req
299. I smell a rat.Copy !req
300. A witch's life is very solitaryCopy !req
301. No one around to talk to but treesCopy !req
302. So many years of never making merryCopy !req
303. But I can feel a change in the breezeCopy !req
304. Cos tonight there's no one
in the hallwayCopy !req
305. No one left or rightCopy !req
306. But my hallways all sayCopy !req
307. Someone's in my house tonightCopy !req
308. No one by my fire.
No one sipping teaCopy !req
309. My fires burnin' higher.
Someone's in my house with meCopy !req
310. (women) Witches are people
with a magic intuitionCopy !req
311. (men) And she's havin' a feelin'
that is, oh, so bewitchin'Copy !req
312. (chorus) Even though no one's
hangin' round in the kitchen.Copy !req
313. We know that someone is near, dear!Copy !req
314. No one in the attic.
No one in my chairCopy !req
315. But I'm so emphatic,
someone's in my house somewhereCopy !req
316. - (chorus) Where is he?
- Where are you?Copy !req
317. You wouldn't desert me.
You know it would hurt meCopy !req
318. - (chorus) Where is he?
- Where are you?Copy !req
319. (chorus) Little no one, you're through!Copy !req
320. No one in the mirror.
No one by the doorCopy !req
321. But I'm getting nearerCopy !req
322. Someone's in my house for sureCopy !req
323. No one small and dumb, no.
No one pink and white, heyCopy !req
324. - No one
- Here I comeCopy !req
325. Cos someone's in my houseCopy !req
326. Somewhere in her houseCopy !req
327. And no one's getting outCopy !req
328. TonightCopy !req
329. - Ah!
- Ooh!Copy !req
330. - Well, that was... convenient for you.
- Quiet!Copy !req
331. OK, sure, whatever you say.
Not another peep.Copy !req
332. You broke into my home.Copy !req
333. Well, actually, your big head out there
by the gate, he gave me a key.Copy !req
334. Why don't you hang onto that, that's fine.Copy !req
335. - Shh! Ah, you've come for the prince.
- Ah, mm-hmm.Copy !req
336. But why have they sent you?Copy !req
337. Filthy Iittle creature.
Not quite a rat, not quite a bird.Copy !req
338. You certainly are not
a worthy adversary for me,Copy !req
339. the evil Baba Yaga!Copy !req
340. Yeah, well, appearances can be deceiving.Copy !req
341. - I think.
- Yes, they can!Copy !req
342. I know where the prince is.Copy !req
343. Oh, what a shocker.Copy !req
344. (coughs) OK, OK. I'll stop. I'll stop.Copy !req
345. However, in order for me
to show you where he is,Copy !req
346. you must first prove
that you are worthy of saving him.Copy !req
347. Oh, I'm worthy. I'm extremely worthy.
They don't come more worthy than...Copy !req
348. Sorry. Can't help it. Go ahead.Copy !req
349. There are three things
I seek within my forest.Copy !req
350. I will tell you where to find them
and you must bring them to me.Copy !req
351. Ah, quick question. Totally hypothetical,
of course. What if I can't?Copy !req
352. You can or you can't.
But if you can't, you will die,Copy !req
353. not a hero, and Moscow
will never see its prince again.Copy !req
354. Sounds like a real win-win.
When do I start?Copy !req
355. - (snorts) You already have.
- I have?Copy !req
356. - Head south to the ice quarry
- Ice quarry...Copy !req
357. - and bring Piloff to me.
- Bring Piloff...Copy !req
358. That's it? Bring Piloff to ya? No, it's just
I thought you were gonna say more.Copy !req
359. How am I gonna know this Piloff?Copy !req
360. (sighs) Go!Copy !req
361. And tell your furry friend
if he helps you in any way, you'll both die.Copy !req
362. OK, now that I really
should be writing down.Copy !req
363. Both die... It's the Iittle things.Copy !req
364. Wind.Copy !req
365. Ooh! Whoa! Hey!
OK, well, I guess I'm gonna go now.Copy !req
366. I'll catch ya Iater.Copy !req
367. He's actually rather charming
for an oversized skull.Copy !req
368. Once you get past his inquisitive nature.Copy !req
369. Gosh, I feel like we've
been walking for hours.Copy !req
370. - We have.
- I have absolutely no idea where we are.Copy !req
371. Mmm. Not unlike Oedipus,
blinded with his mother's brooch.Copy !req
372. - Left to wander the earth, never know...
- Zozi.Copy !req
373. I'm doing it again?
I'll stop. Is it getting cold?Copy !req
374. I must say, it is exciting.Copy !req
375. The first of three gifts
you must search out and bring to her.Copy !req
376. - Uh-huh.
- And I can't help in any way?Copy !req
377. That's what she said.Copy !req
378. I am freezing. Why is it getting so cold?Copy !req
379. (Piloff) Well, hello there!Copy !req
380. Bingo. Piloff.Copy !req
381. A-ha!Copy !req
382. Hello, there!Copy !req
383. I never get visitors!
You know what this is? It's a pleasure.Copy !req
384. - It's an absolute pleasure!
- You must be Piloff.Copy !req
385. And you must be lost. How delightful!Copy !req
386. That's it? Little hike, some cold weather,
bring this Iittle thing back to the witch?Copy !req
387. Huh, this is gonna be a piece a cake.Copy !req
388. Oh. Oh, my goodness.Copy !req
389. - Hey there, I'm Bartok.
- Oh!Copy !req
390. Sorry about this, my Iittle friend,
but I gotta bring you back to Baba Yaga.Copy !req
391. Ooh, dear. This isn't good.
You see, I'm stuck.Copy !req
392. - Ahh! Ow!
- It's unbearable.Copy !req
393. I don't even know how long I've been here.
What year is this?Copy !req
394. - Oh, boy!
- How's it going?Copy !req
395. It's not going good!Copy !req
396. - Ooh, that tickles!
- That's really...Copy !req
397. Pull, pull, pull! Yes! Yes!Copy !req
398. - Ahh! Ooh!
- It's enough to drive you crazy, isn't it?Copy !req
399. Ahh... oh, boy. Aah!Copy !req
400. - (thud)
- Whoa!Copy !req
401. From the sound of it,
you're making great progress.Copy !req
402. Oh, that was close. You know, I felt
like we almost had something there.Copy !req
403. Hmm.Copy !req
404. My goodness. You are determined.Copy !req
405. I love that.
This whole thing is very exciting.Copy !req
406. - Okey dokey.
- Artichokey!Copy !req
407. (Bartok) My friend,
we're going to Baba Yaga's.Copy !req
408. With or without the extra baggage.Copy !req
409. Such fun! I am having
entirely too much fun!Copy !req
410. Yeah, well, that makes one of us.Copy !req
411. Wa-hah!Copy !req
412. Whee!Copy !req
413. Hiya!Copy !req
414. - (Piloff) Careful! Careful!
- Whoa!Copy !req
415. Intriguing.Copy !req
416. Bartok, I've Ianded and I'm unharmed!Copy !req
417. - Are ya still on the boulder?
- Um, yes!Copy !req
418. Whoop-de-do.Copy !req
419. What a strong Iittle bat. You're actually
doing quite well. I'm very impressed.Copy !req
420. This is one of those days you never forget.Copy !req
421. When everything you wanted
to happen happens, only better.Copy !req
422. I'm beside myself! You know what? Bartok,
you should try and remember this too.Copy !req
423. Yeah, I'll make a mental note, all right?Copy !req
424. Oh, talk about fun!
We did it Bartok! That was a blast!Copy !req
425. Whee! Oh! Can you believe this Bartok?Copy !req
426. We dragged this big boulder
across the forest,Copy !req
427. and I pop off ten feet from the house.
That's funny!Copy !req
428. Yeah, that's hysterical.Copy !req
429. And where, pray tell,
do you think you're going?Copy !req
430. - In to see Baba Yaga.
- Do you have a key?Copy !req
431. No, she took it.
Ah, come on. You're kidding, right?Copy !req
432. Me, me, me... (clears throat)Copy !req
433. No matter how hard you hit me,
no matter how much I hurt,Copy !req
434. - Ahh!
- I'm always good for a Iaugh. What am I?Copy !req
435. - (Bartok) Hmm...
- A funny bone.Copy !req
436. Funny bone. Ha, ha. Key, please.Copy !req
437. Much obliged.Copy !req
438. You're really quite good at solving riddles.Copy !req
439. I say, have you heard this one?Copy !req
440. What starts off in the morning...Copy !req
441. - You brought me Piloff!
- Hello, Baba! I was stuck to a rock.Copy !req
442. Oh, boy.Copy !req
443. Ahh! Ow!Copy !req
444. - Unh-unh-unh. Don't sit.
- But I'm tired.Copy !req
445. - (grumbles)
- OK, OK. I'm not sitting!Copy !req
446. Now... go fetch me the crown of Oble,Copy !req
447. the metalworker.Copy !req
448. Oble. He sounds big. Is he big?Copy !req
449. - Enormous.
- He's much bigger than you.Copy !req
450. - Piloff!
- Sorry.Copy !req
451. - Go!
- But I'm exhausted.Copy !req
452. - If you don't, Prince Ivan will be doomed!
- Which way?Copy !req
453. Walk east until it's dark,Copy !req
454. then look for a fire in the forest.Copy !req
455. That's it, huh? Walk east and look for fire?Copy !req
456. No 'thank you'? No 'nice work'? Nothing.Copy !req
457. Yes, one last thing.Copy !req
458. - Give me the key.
- Why? I solved the riddle twice already.Copy !req
459. Give it to me.Copy !req
460. OK, that's yours. Take that.Copy !req
461. Sheesh, helping people
sure can take it outta ya.Copy !req
462. Good people of Moscow.
The prince has been taken from us.Copy !req
463. God willing, he will be returned,
but in the meantime,Copy !req
464. the affairs of state must continue.Copy !req
465. And I, as regent,
will do my best to carry on and ensureCopy !req
466. the safety of and respect forCopy !req
467. the throne of Russia.Copy !req
468. This is ridiculous. I'm out here
working my wings off and for what?Copy !req
469. If I get back there and she dumps this crown
into her stew, I'm gonna have a cow.Copy !req
470. Meanwhile, I ain't seen
hide nor hair of that prince.Copy !req
471. - (grunts)
- Oh, would ya look at that?Copy !req
472. (Zozi) He is Iarge, there's no denying it.Copy !req
473. - But perhaps he's friendly.
- Ya think?Copy !req
474. Let's try, huh? I'll just... I'll just shout to him
and ask him if I can borrow his hat.Copy !req
475. I'll drop Baba Yaga's name.
Maybe they're friends. What could it hurt?Copy !req
476. Hello, good sir!Copy !req
477. Yeah, very good.
We come bearing gifts, sir.Copy !req
478. Well, not real gifts,
but gifts of warmth and affection.Copy !req
479. In exchange for which we'd just love
to bring your headdress back to Baba Yaga.Copy !req
480. Aaba Raaba. Pee wan foof poo mee nana!Copy !req
481. - What did he say?
- I just don't have a clue.Copy !req
482. Diction, my dear boy. It can make all the
difference in the world. Carry on, Bartok.Copy !req
483. OK. Hot, hot.! Oh, that's hot!
It's hot, it's hot!Copy !req
484. Manna ooo boorin eeeeear?Copy !req
485. Yeah, you and me both,
my friend, I'm sure.Copy !req
486. Ah, we just need to get that crown
of yours and we'll be on our way.Copy !req
487. - (Bartok screaming)
- (Oble grunting)Copy !req
488. - OK.
- Ahh... (chuckling)Copy !req
489. OK. Hmm... how about this!Copy !req
490. Well, how about...
Hey, it's hot, hot, hot, hot!Copy !req
491. Dadya buggeler.Copy !req
492. Part of the show, totally planned.Copy !req
493. Stay with me now
cos here comes the good stuff.Copy !req
494. Abraca-woozi!Copy !req
495. Buggeler?Copy !req
496. - (grunting) Hey!
- (Bartok) Whoa!Copy !req
497. Zozi, let's roll!Copy !req
498. Bartok, he's still coming.Copy !req
499. (Iaughing) Would you look at you!
You did it! You did it!Copy !req
500. - He's something special!
- Quiet, Piloff!Copy !req
501. Oh!Copy !req
502. And she drops it in the soup... Perfect.Copy !req
503. Tomorrow is the most difficult task of all.Copy !req
504. (Piloff) Oh, dear.Copy !req
505. (dreamily) Hold the onions.Copy !req
506. Yeah, that's to go, please.Copy !req
507. Eyeeee-ya-yaa!Copy !req
508. What's with the ruckus
first thing in the morning?Copy !req
509. What happened to a nudge?
Or the smell of a nice cup a coffee?Copy !req
510. Using only this crown
and the boulder from the quarry,Copy !req
511. pluck the magic feather from the sky.Copy !req
512. Let me stop ya forjust one sec.Copy !req
513. It's early, I haven't eaten in two days
and I'm a Iittle agitated.Copy !req
514. - What does this have to do with the prince?
- Everything.Copy !req
515. From where I'm standin' I'm just
runnin' errands for your broth there.Copy !req
516. I am so sorry. How insensitive of me.Copy !req
517. - Are you still tired?
- Honestly? Yes, yes, I am.Copy !req
518. - Are you awake now?
- Yes. Yes.Copy !req
519. - You were talking about a feather?
- A magic feather.Copy !req
520. It floats high in the air,
in the middle of a clearing.Copy !req
521. One feather comin' at ya.Copy !req
522. One last thing...Copy !req
523. - What's that?
- You cannot fly.Copy !req
524. Whoa!Copy !req
525. Oh! Ow!Copy !req
526. - You can't fly?
- Nope.Copy !req
527. Ow!Copy !req
528. How do I do this? Help me here.Copy !req
529. I can't.Copy !req
530. Hmm, maybe if I just try...Copy !req
531. Careful now, I just wanna...Copy !req
532. Aaaah! Ay! Hot!Copy !req
533. Oh, I'm exhausted.
I haven't eaten in days.Copy !req
534. This isn't the life for me. Forget it.Copy !req
535. A possible hero in youCopy !req
536. I tried. I did the best I can do.Copy !req
537. We can get along without Moscow
and I won't let that witch find me.Copy !req
538. Ahh, well, thank goodness.Copy !req
539. Huh?Copy !req
540. If you had completed this task, everywhere
we went people would know who we are.Copy !req
541. We'd spend the rest of our Iives
running around having to help people.Copy !req
542. The incessant touching of admirers.
It's more than one can bear.Copy !req
543. - It certainly is.
- Now we can run away.Copy !req
544. Hide from Baba Yaga for a few years.
I'm behind on my hibernating anyway.Copy !req
545. Then take the show back on the road
and you can go on pretending to beCopy !req
546. what you always wanted to be.Copy !req
547. Besides, this is absurd.Copy !req
548. How are you supposed to get 35 feet
in the air with a Iarge crown and a boulder?Copy !req
549. You just can't do it.Copy !req
550. Well, no, I can't!
Especially now that it's all in pieces.Copy !req
551. It's, um, in pieces.Copy !req
552. Ah-ha!Copy !req
553. But of course.Copy !req
554. Hi-ya!Copy !req
555. Ta-da!Copy !req
556. Now we get the prince!Copy !req
557. When is a door not a door?Copy !req
558. When it's ajar. Child's play.Copy !req
559. Now open wide. I'm comin' through.Copy !req
560. Ha-ha! I did it.
There ya go. Three for three.Copy !req
561. You didn't think I had it in me, did ya?Copy !req
562. Now hand over the prince.Copy !req
563. You have given me the three things
I needed from the forest.Copy !req
564. But before I show you where the prince is
I need something from you.Copy !req
565. But how could I know what that is
if you never told me?Copy !req
566. Hmm!Copy !req
567. Isn't this a beauty?
They don't make 'em like this anymore.Copy !req
568. No, that's not it.Copy !req
569. OK.Copy !req
570. OK, OK, here it is, the mother Iode.Copy !req
571. An autographed portrait of Ivan the Terrible.
I caught him in a good mood.Copy !req
572. No, that's not it.Copy !req
573. No, huh?Copy !req
574. Well, how about...Copy !req
575. It's something from here.Copy !req
576. Huh?Copy !req
577. Here! Here ya go.Copy !req
578. Hey, what's so funny?
Hey, stop it!Copy !req
579. Why don't you stop Iaughing
at other people's misery!Copy !req
580. You never said I had to give ya somethin'.
You're a cheat and a Iiar!Copy !req
581. Ya babbling old woman
with your iron teeth and your hocus-pocus!Copy !req
582. It's no wonder everybody hates ya!Copy !req
583. (Piloff) Bartok!Copy !req
584. Yeah, what do you want?Copy !req
585. Goodbye.Copy !req
586. Oh, yeah, sure, goodbye.Copy !req
587. Huh?Copy !req
588. Um, what are you doing?Copy !req
589. I'm just being a silly old woman.Copy !req
590. I didn't mean what I said.
Look, nobody hates you, OK?Copy !req
591. I just... I...Copy !req
592. Oh... Oh, I wish I could give you
what you need.Copy !req
593. Oh!Copy !req
594. Oh!Copy !req
595. You just did.Copy !req
596. Huh?Copy !req
597. The most important ingredient,
from your heart.Copy !req
598. And now he is worthy
and so he shall see.Copy !req
599. Come!Copy !req
600. Come! Hurry up, you Iittle rat bird!
I don't have all day.Copy !req
601. The tower!Copy !req
602. Uh... You never took him, did ya?Copy !req
603. I never said I did.Copy !req
604. - You never took any children!
- People will believe what they will.Copy !req
605. I'm happy to Iive alone in the woods
and not be bothered.Copy !req
606. There!Copy !req
607. Take this. You may need it.Copy !req
608. - What is it?
- A magic potion.Copy !req
609. This will allow you to be your innermost self.Copy !req
610. When you drink it,Copy !req
611. whatever you are in your heart of hearts,Copy !req
612. you will become on the outside, tenfold.Copy !req
613. Wait a minute. You mean the whole time
I was doin' all that stuff for me?Copy !req
614. Mmm-hm.Copy !req
615. Now leave me and save the prince!Copy !req
616. Um, could I...Copy !req
617. Um...Copy !req
618. How about a...Copy !req
619. - a hug?
- A hug?Copy !req
620. C'mon, bring it in.Copy !req
621. A hug!Copy !req
622. Don't push your Iuck, Bartok.Copy !req
623. All right, all right, all right!
I'm outta here. Colour me gone.Copy !req
624. And now, all we have to do is tell 'em
the prince is in the tower and, boom,Copy !req
625. we're on to St Petersburg.Copy !req
626. - What are you doing?
- Finding an appropriate character.Copy !req
627. Zozi, I hate to break it to you,
but you can't go. They think you're dead.Copy !req
628. That is exactly why a rich
and multilayered character is crucial.Copy !req
629. The right wardrobe, a dab of well-placed
greasepaint, and none will be the wiser.Copy !req
630. Um, Zozi, just let me go tell 'em
where the prince is.Copy !req
631. What if something goes wrong?
We still don't know who took the prince.Copy !req
632. Yeah, but... What is this?Copy !req
633. Cabbage.Copy !req
634. Cabbage?
That's your character? Cabbage?Copy !req
635. You're gonna blend right in with the crowd.
A big, six-foot tall cabbage guy.Copy !req
636. Yes, but what could be more apropos...Copy !req
637. than Simka, the Russian peasant woman?Copy !req
638. I'm going, OK?Copy !req
639. You wait here.Copy !req
640. - But...
- But nothing, OK? I'll be right back.Copy !req
641. Ouch.Copy !req
642. Ah, brave bat!Copy !req
643. You have returned
from your difficultjourney.Copy !req
644. Healthy, alive!Copy !req
645. Apparently no worse for the wear.Copy !req
646. Our congratulations!Copy !req
647. But where is the prince?Copy !req
648. (clears throat) The prince never left the city.Copy !req
649. Never left...?
I don't understand.Copy !req
650. OK, it's a Iittle complicated, and fairly
long-winded so everybody listen up, huh?Copy !req
651. I left here, a fanfare, down into the forest.Copy !req
652. Lots of trees there,
some gargoyles, big, big skull.Copy !req
653. Solved a riddle,
met Baba Yaga. Not a Iooker, folks.Copy !req
654. Did three tasks.
Not important what they are,Copy !req
655. but, at this point, I'm confident of my
physical, emotional, and intellectual prowess.Copy !req
656. But the prince?Copy !req
657. Yeah, hold on. I'm getting there.Copy !req
658. Me and the witch have a disagreement,
some fisticuffs ensue.Copy !req
659. I come out on top
and she slips me this here potion. See?Copy !req
660. A potion? For what?Copy !req
661. Well, to be all that I can be, basically.Copy !req
662. Since I did all the tasks,
I'm worthy of saving the prince.Copy !req
663. It makes you tenfold on the outside
what you are on the inside.Copy !req
664. That's my understanding anyway.Copy !req
665. Eh, eh, eh.
Look, but don't touch, fella.Copy !req
666. Sounds impressive, I know.
Let me break it down.Copy !req
667. Essentially, if I ever need to be
more powerful than I already am,Copy !req
668. I just give this here sucker the old heave-ho.Copy !req
669. Yes, but where is the prince?Copy !req
670. (clears throat) Prince IvanCopy !req
671. is in the tower.Copy !req
672. What?Copy !req
673. The tower, the tower. Tall building.
Just outside. You can't miss it.Copy !req
674. Oh, my goodness! Well, weCopy !req
675. must go to the tower at once.Copy !req
676. Come!Copy !req
677. I warn you, if the prince
is not where you say he is,Copy !req
678. and this has all been
part of some elaborate performance,Copy !req
679. I assure you, Bartok the Magnificent,Copy !req
680. the city of Moscow will have your head.Copy !req
681. Ta-da!Copy !req
682. What'd I tell ya?Copy !req
683. - Hi, Ivan!
- Bartok?Copy !req
684. My prince!Copy !req
685. I got worried for a sec while we were climbin'
the stairs there, I don't mind tellin' ya.Copy !req
686. You, with the talk
about takin' my head and everything.Copy !req
687. I still might.Copy !req
688. Hey! hey!Copy !req
689. You imbecile! What is that?Copy !req
690. That... That's a prince?Copy !req
691. Very good.
Why didn't you do what I said?Copy !req
692. I did! I dressed up like the witch,
left that tooth, and took the prince.Copy !req
693. - And what about him?
- You told me you wanted him out of the way.Copy !req
694. Well, what's he doing here?Copy !req
695. Well, I put him in that cage
in the tippytop of the tower.Copy !req
696. How much more out of the way could he be?Copy !req
697. Dead, you imbecile!
Dead is what he could be!Copy !req
698. Dead? But he's the prince.Copy !req
699. - May I interject something here?
- No, you may not.Copy !req
700. OK.Copy !req
701. I never thought I'd have to see you again.Copy !req
702. Stupid Iittle bat.Copy !req
703. It was all so perfect.Copy !req
704. EIiminate the prince, frame Baba Yaga,
send a hapless entertainer to save him.Copy !req
705. And yet, here you are.Copy !req
706. The conquering hero,
returning from battle with all the answers.Copy !req
707. Well, all the better.Copy !req
708. Vol, get the prince.Copy !req
709. Yes, Your Regency.Copy !req
710. You three are the only ones who know.Copy !req
711. And none of you
will ever leave this room...Copy !req
712. alive.Copy !req
713. I'll take that!Copy !req
714. Do svidanya.Copy !req
715. Poor Bartok the Magnificent.Copy !req
716. He's come so far and done so much
for the good people of Russia.Copy !req
717. Such a shame
he'll be remembered as a Iiar.Copy !req
718. Ten times more powerful than I already am.Copy !req
719. Tenfold on the outside
what I am on the inside.Copy !req
720. - (Ivan) Ludmilla, please!
- (Bartok) No! No!Copy !req
721. Oh, not to worry.Copy !req
722. The water will be along shortly.Copy !req
723. I'm off to claim my throne.Copy !req
724. Starting today,
they are going to welcome a new girlCopy !req
725. Starting today,
no more Iying or sneaking aboutCopy !req
726. They'll see someone Iovely as a flowerCopy !req
727. Someone who is totally in powerCopy !req
728. Starting today
when the real Ludmilla comes outCopy !req
729. Starting today,
every rule's guaranteed to be broken.Copy !req
730. (shackled men) BrokenCopy !req
731. Starting today,
every whisper turns into a shout!Copy !req
732. Aaargh!Copy !req
733. I feel all my inhibitions moultingCopy !req
734. More than just the peasants are revoltingCopy !req
735. Starting today
when the real Ludmilla comes outCopy !req
736. (shackled men) Starting today
is the grand transformationCopy !req
737. Hide, run away or go on a vacationCopy !req
738. Starting today,
she'll be ruling the nation, no doubtCopy !req
739. Oh, yes, and...Copy !req
740. Starting today, the whole world
will be mine on a platterCopy !req
741. (shackled men)
Every man on a plateCopy !req
742. Kneel, you peasant, you peon,
you dim-witted IoutCopy !req
743. (chorus)
Gee, the future looks greatCopy !req
744. Now my inner beauty is appearingCopy !req
745. I can almost hear the peasants cheeringCopy !req
746. Starting today when the real LudmillaCopy !req
747. Proves she's a ruler to rival AttillaCopy !req
748. Starting today
when the real LudmillaCopy !req
749. Comes out!Copy !req
750. People of Moscow!Copy !req
751. My people!Copy !req
752. Oh, my goodness!Copy !req
753. Vol, the water's rising, hurry!
Bartok, help!Copy !req
754. Help!Copy !req
755. Pssst! Bartok!Copy !req
756. Whoa!Copy !req
757. - Eh? Zozi?
- Yes. What happened?Copy !req
758. Oh, you know, not much.Copy !req
759. Prince Ivan and his guard are about to drown.
I'm next cos I can't get out of the cage.Copy !req
760. Ludmilla drank Baba's potion
and is about to take over the kingdom.Copy !req
761. Other than that,
everything is, you know, hunky-dory.Copy !req
762. I've got an idea.Copy !req
763. - (Vol) We're stuck!
- (Ivan) Don't leave us here!Copy !req
764. Zozi?Copy !req
765. I believe I've separated my shoulder.Copy !req
766. - Hey! Help us down here!
- Hurry!Copy !req
767. One more time oughta do it.
Just give it a Iittle more, you know, umph.Copy !req
768. Oh, that's what I've been doing wrong.
I've been Iacking...Copy !req
769. Uuuumph!Copy !req
770. Arrgh!Copy !req
771. Lemme ask ya. Ya mentioned something
about having an idea.Copy !req
772. Was, was this what you came up with?
You can be honest.Copy !req
773. I may have made a slight miscalculation.Copy !req
774. I'm slipping!Copy !req
775. I'm sorry, Your Highness.Copy !req
776. Ah, Zozi?Copy !req
777. Uh-oh...Copy !req
778. Ta-da!Copy !req
779. I'm reminded of Euripides' character
Hippolytus.Copy !req
780. Whose own life hung in the balance.Copy !req
781. Wronged by Aphrodite.Copy !req
782. Dying, nobly, in his forgiveness of Theseu...Copy !req
783. Aaargh!Copy !req
784. You gotta stop Ludmilla. Go on!Copy !req
785. Whoa!Copy !req
786. The potion!Copy !req
787. Not so fast!Copy !req
788. Hey, ya got yourself
one hard head there, really.Copy !req
789. Whoa!Copy !req
790. "At night the sea began
to rise in waves of death.Copy !req
791. Ship against ship
the Thracian stormwind shattered us."Copy !req
792. Oh, you're very good.Copy !req
793. Thank you.Copy !req
794. First time I performed that was in '67,
the Siberian Greek Tragedy Festival.Copy !req
795. Do more!Copy !req
796. All right. That's enough already with the fire.Copy !req
797. Fire! Fire! The town's on fire!Copy !req
798. We need water! Lots of water...Copy !req
799. This is gonna stop her.
It's time for the buggeler.Copy !req
800. It's good, no?Copy !req
801. In addition ya' gotta realise that
these are all a different size and weight.Copy !req
802. That increases
the Ievel of difficulty exponentially.Copy !req
803. Step right this way.Copy !req
804. "The man who is well-minded to the state...Copy !req
805. from me, in death and life,
shall have his honour."Copy !req
806. Please, that's completely unnecessary.Copy !req
807. Here, dragon Iady!Copy !req
808. - Zozi?
- Bartok!Copy !req
809. We're over here!Copy !req
810. Ha-ha!Copy !req
811. Hey, where's the water?Copy !req
812. Yeah, I'm working on it.Copy !req
813. Hurry!Copy !req
814. Hey, good for you!
Ya got it. Congrats!Copy !req
815. Oh, so close on that one.Copy !req
816. I've been where you are.
I had the whole thing with a magic feather.Copy !req
817. It's frustrating, isn't it?
It's right there, but ya can't get at it.Copy !req
818. It's uh... It's not fun.Copy !req
819. Much better there.
Just up a Iittle bit and to the left.Copy !req
820. Have a nice trip. See ya next fall.Copy !req
821. Bartok, where's the water?Copy !req
822. Talk about your big finish.
You can't write stuff like this.Copy !req
823. Well done, my friend. Well done.Copy !req
824. Yeah, well, right back at ya, my friend.Copy !req
825. - Some wicked witch.
- Yeah.Copy !req
826. It was those tasks that helped you become
what you always wanted to be.Copy !req
827. And I never gave her anything.Copy !req
828. What do you mean?
You gave her what she needed most.Copy !req
829. And what only a true hero could.Copy !req
830. Your compassion, Bartok.Copy !req
831. You gave her your compassion.Copy !req
832. Hey, I did, didn't I?
She got upset. And I helped her out.Copy !req
833. Boom! I just gave her my compassion.
Didn't even think about it.Copy !req
834. When ya got it, ya got it, I guess.Copy !req
835. Tell ya what. I'm one heck of a guy.Copy !req
836. You certainly are.Copy !req
837. For a bat.Copy !req
838. Citizens of Moscow!Copy !req
839. Please stand with me and
give thanks to Bartok the Magnificent.Copy !req
840. He has saved us
and we are forever in his debt.Copy !req
841. Please, it's embarrassing.Copy !req
842. Psst.Copy !req
843. Oh, I almost forgot.Copy !req
844. Here ya go.Copy !req
845. - That was my gift to you.
- Nonsense, Your Highness.Copy !req
846. Let me tell ya somethin' about that ring.
That ring is a ring for royalty.Copy !req
847. Huh?Copy !req
848. How's tricks?Copy !req
849. (Piloff Iaughing) How's tricks!Copy !req
850. I think he did really well, don't you, Baba?Copy !req
851. Piloff, sshhh!Copy !req
852. Congratulations.Copy !req
853. (clears throat) Thank you...
for everything.Copy !req
854. Yes, well,Copy !req
855. fine.Copy !req
856. Hang on a sec. Is it me
or is there a lot a love up here right now?Copy !req
857. Ya know what? I think it's time
for that hug I was talkin' about.Copy !req
858. - Again with the hug!
- C'mon, Piloff. Group hug.Copy !req
859. - Stop it now.
- Bring it in, everybody.Copy !req
860. I love hugs. Ooooh!Copy !req
861. OK! Enough!Copy !req
862. I'll be seein' ya.Copy !req
863. You can count on it.Copy !req
864. (Piloff) See yo soon! Auf Wiedersehen!Copy !req
865. Bye, Bartok.Copy !req
866. Goodbye, Bartok the Magnificent!Copy !req
867. Uh, see ya Iater, folks.Copy !req