1. It's tulip season today,
and I'm so happy.Copy !req
2. Come on, sweetie.Copy !req
3. Yes, come on now, sweetheart.Copy !req
4. Go for a little ride,
then you can whiz all over the city.Copy !req
5. Go for a ride.Copy !req
6. Come on, sweetie.Copy !req
7. Freeze!
Leg down, leg down.Copy !req
8. That's it.
Come on now.Copy !req
9. No, you monkey-eared
son of a bitch!Copy !req
10. You have pissed your last floor.Copy !req
11. Bet you wish
you were a real dog.Copy !req
12. Oh, you dog-eared monkey.Copy !req
13. This is New York. If you can make it here.Copy !req
14. you can make it anywhere...Copy !req
15. you ugly, smelly...Copy !req
16. - Verdell!
- Uh-oh.Copy !req
17. Where's my good doggie?
Verdell?Copy !req
18. Come here, sweetheart.Copy !req
19. - Mr. Udall?
- Mm-hmm?Copy !req
20. Have you seen Verdell?Copy !req
21. What does he look like?Copy !req
22. My dog. You know, my...Copy !req
23. My dog with the little,
adorable face.Copy !req
24. Don't you know
what my dog looks like?Copy !req
25. Oh, I got it.
You were talking about your dog.Copy !req
26. I thought it was the name
of that colored man I see in the hall.Copy !req
27. Which color was that?Copy !req
28. Like thick molasses...Copy !req
29. - with a broad nose...
- Frank!Copy !req
30. perfect for smelling
trouble and prison food.Copy !req
31. - Simon, you've got to get dressed.
- Frank Sachs, Melvin Udall.Copy !req
32. How are you doin'?Copy !req
33. Frank shows my work,
Mr. Udall.Copy !req
34. - I think you know that.
- People are gonna start coming.Copy !req
35. What I know is that as long as you
keep your work zipped up around me...Copy !req
36. I don't give a rat crap
what or where you shove your show.Copy !req
37. Are we done
being neighbors for now?Copy !req
38. - Let me talk to you...
- No! Not worth it.Copy !req
39. Definitely not worth it.
Verdell must be in the apartment.Copy !req
40. Okay.Copy !req
41. Hope you find him.
Love that dog.Copy !req
42. You don't love anything,
Mr. Udall.Copy !req
43. One, two, three, four, five.Copy !req
44. One, two, three, four, five.Copy !req
45. Okay.Copy !req
46. Hot. Hot, hot, hot.Copy !req
47. - Hi, Carl.
- Frank, where is he?Copy !req
48. - Isn't he here? He lives here.
- Take it easy.Copy !req
49. - He had a little thing with the dog.
- It's not such a hot-looking dog.Copy !req
50. He's adorable.Copy !req
51. Who buys more than me?
He isn't the only one working.Copy !req
52. Good Lord.
Where have you been?Copy !req
53. Oh, look at my boy.Copy !req
54. Look at him.Copy !req
55. - I found him, Mr. Bishop.
- I know you did. We know you did.Copy !req
56. Where was my little baby?Copy !req
57. In the basement garbage bin
eating diaper shit.Copy !req
58. - Go ahead, John. You earned your fun.
- Sorry. It just struck me.Copy !req
59. - It's funny.
- Oh, wait.Copy !req
60. How did he get down
in the basement...Copy !req
61. even if he got
in the elevator?Copy !req
62. Maybe some nice neighbor
shoved him down the garbage chute?Copy !req
63. Somewhere in the dark...Copy !req
64. Somewhere in the dark...Copy !req
65. she had confessed,
and he had forgiven.Copy !req
66. "This is what you live for,"
he said.Copy !req
67. "Two heads on a pillow,
where all is approval...Copy !req
68. and there is only the safety...Copy !req
69. of being with each other."Copy !req
70. How, she wondered,
could she find such hope...Copy !req
71. in the most shameful part of her?Copy !req
72. At last she was able
to define love.Copy !req
73. Love was...Copy !req
74. Mr. Udall, I'd like
to speak to you, please.Copy !req
75. Let me do this by myself.Copy !req
76. - Love was...
- Are you in there?Copy !req
77. Son of a bitch!Copy !req
78. Pansy-ass stool pusher.Copy !req
79. Yes?Copy !req
80. Maybe this can wait.Copy !req
81. I found Verdell.Copy !req
82. Well, that's a load off.Copy !req
83. Uh-huh.
Did you do something to him?Copy !req
84. Do you realize
that I work at home?Copy !req
85. I wasn't aware.Copy !req
86. Do you like to be interrupted when
you're nancing around in your garden?Copy !req
87. No. I actually...Copy !req
88. will turn the ringer off on my phone
and put cardboard...Copy !req
89. Well, I work all the time...Copy !req
90. so never, never interrupt me,
okay?Copy !req
91. Not if there's a fire.Copy !req
92. Not even if you hear the sound
of a thud from my home...Copy !req
93. and one week later there's
a smell coming from there...Copy !req
94. that can only be
a decaying human body...Copy !req
95. and you have to hold a hanky
to your face...Copy !req
96. because the stench is so thick
you think you're gonna faint.Copy !req
97. Even then,
don't come knocking.Copy !req
98. Or if it's election night...Copy !req
99. and you're excited
and you want to celebrate...Copy !req
100. because some fudge packer
you date...Copy !req
101. has been elected the first queer
president of the United States...Copy !req
102. and he's going to have you...Copy !req
103. down to Camp David...Copy !req
104. and you want someone
to share the moment with.Copy !req
105. Even then...Copy !req
106. don't knock...Copy !req
107. not on this door...Copy !req
108. not for any reason.Copy !req
109. Do you get me, sweetheart?Copy !req
110. Yes.Copy !req
111. It's not a subtle point
that you're making.Copy !req
112. Okay then.Copy !req
113. So the theory of confrontations says:
"Think twice before messing with me."Copy !req
114. All right.Copy !req
115. Love was...Copy !req
116. What was love?Copy !req
117. Love was...Copy !req
118. Now I am pissed.
Now I am really pissed!Copy !req
119. Don't touch! Don't touch!Copy !req
120. Shut up! You think you can intimidate
the whole world with your attitude.Copy !req
121. You don't intimidate me.
I grew up in hell, homeboy.Copy !req
122. My grandmother had more attitude.Copy !req
123. Police!
Donut-munching morons.Copy !req
124. Help me!Copy !req
125. Shut up!Copy !req
126. Assault and battery,
and you're black!Copy !req
127. I like Simon enough
to batter you unrecognizable...Copy !req
128. if you verbally abuse him
or touch that dog again.Copy !req
129. Meantime...Copy !req
130. I'm gonna think of some way
that you can make it up to him.Copy !req
131. I hate doing this!Copy !req
132. I'm an art dealer.Copy !req
133. Have a nice day.
Okay, party!Copy !req
134. - Excuse me.
- Whoa. Don't touch.Copy !req
135. Get a life.Copy !req
136. - Watch it.
- Don't touch.Copy !req
137. - Look at you. You're all better.
- It's that new medication.Copy !req
138. You know all my son's stuff, right?
No, no. I got a date tonight.Copy !req
139. I'm walking out and he says,
"Mom, I promise not to get...Copy !req
140. one of my fevers or coughs
during your date."Copy !req
141. - Isn't that sweet?
- A little blond angel.Copy !req
142. It came out of me: "You love me
the way you love your remote control.Copy !req
143. As long as I switch every time
you press one of my buttons."Copy !req
144. That's terrific.Copy !req
145. People that talk in metaphors
oughta shampoo my crotch.Copy !req
146. - Eat up.
- Stay there. I've got your money.Copy !req
147. - No, pay me next week.
- I owe you.Copy !req
148. I told you today.
That's the rule.Copy !req
149. - Excuse me, Melvin.
- Don't...Copy !req
150. - There you go. You take care.
- Thank you.Copy !req
151. Pardon me.Copy !req
152. Take the money.
Debts make me crazy.Copy !req
153. This way you take a cab home
so you can get ready for the date.Copy !req
154. Ready is not my problem.Copy !req
155. I'm starving.Copy !req
156. Go on. Sit down. You know
you're not allowed back here.Copy !req
157. Spence is more excited than I am.Copy !req
158. He says, "I promise not to get
a fever or cough during your date."Copy !req
159. Sometimes this kid,
you just want to...Copy !req
160. I've gotJews at my table.Copy !req
161. It's not your table.
It's the place's table. Behave.Copy !req
162. This once you can sit
at someone else's station.Copy !req
163. Or you can wait your turn.Copy !req
164. - You have feelings for her?
- Well, yes.Copy !req
165. How much more you got to eat?Copy !req
166. Appetites aren't as big
as your noses, huh?Copy !req
167. - What?
- That's it. Forget it.Copy !req
168. - Let me talk to him.
- I don't care how many books he sells.Copy !req
169. - Give him one more chance. Here I go.
- Barred for life.Copy !req
170. - They left.
- Yeah. What do you know?Copy !req
171. Bryan says he doesn't care
how long you've been coming.Copy !req
172. You ever act like this again,
you're barred for life.Copy !req
173. I'm gonna miss the excitement,
but I'll handle it.Copy !req
174. Three eggs over easy...Copy !req
175. two sausage,
six strips of bacon with fries.Copy !req
176. Fries today.Copy !req
177. A short stack,
coffee with cream and sweetener.Copy !req
178. You're gonna die soon
with that diet.Copy !req
179. We're all gonna die soon.
I will, you will.Copy !req
180. It sure sounds like
your son will.Copy !req
181. If you ever mention my son again...Copy !req
182. you will never be able
to eat here again, understand?Copy !req
183. Give me some sign you understand,
or leave now.Copy !req
184. Do you understand me,
you crazy fuck?Copy !req
185. Do you?Copy !req
186. Yes.Copy !req
187. - Yeah?
- Yes.Copy !req
188. I'll get your order.Copy !req
189. Wear my earrings tonight.Copy !req
190. It's just so interesting
what you said at dinner.Copy !req
191. You said it
like it was nothing.Copy !req
192. Where's the bedroom?Copy !req
193. This is sort of it.
I sort of sleep in here.Copy !req
194. Don't worry about it.Copy !req
195. What?Copy !req
196. I don't know.Copy !req
197. Grandma.Copy !req
198. Maybe you'd better check.Copy !req
199. What did you think
I was gonna do?Copy !req
200. - Oh, I'm sorry.
- Mama!Copy !req
201. I was hearing everything
that you were doing...Copy !req
202. so I put these on
to give you privacy.Copy !req
203. - So how was dinner?
- Hey, pal.Copy !req
204. - How's your friend?
- Are you okay?Copy !req
205. - Not bad.
- You got a temperature?Copy !req
206. Scootch over.Copy !req
207. - Where did your friend take you to eat?
- A nice place.Copy !req
208. I have him.Copy !req
209. - One more spit?
- I said I have him. He's waiting.Copy !req
210. - Go.
- She has me.Copy !req
211. - Okay, pal. Give me a hug.
- Carol.Copy !req
212. - Give me a big hug.
- Carol, I have him.Copy !req
213. I'm okay, Mom.
She has me. Go.Copy !req
214. Close the curtains.Copy !req
215. No, you can't smoke!
He can't take smoke!Copy !req
216. - Magic.
- Oh.Copy !req
217. Oh, God.
Well, that'll teach you.Copy !req
218. I don't even notice it anymore.Copy !req
219. All right. Come here.Copy !req
220. You don't have to get that embarrassed.
It's a little bit of throw up.Copy !req
221. Little bit of throw up.Copy !req
222. Well, what shall we do?Copy !req
223. Want me to write which trains you take
to get home, or you wanna lay down...Copy !req
224. No, no.
I'll take a cab.Copy !req
225. It's just a little too much reality
for a Friday night.Copy !req
226. I just can't. I promised Simon
I'd find him a model.Copy !req
227. Carl, take me off the speaker,
Did I tell you these are house seats?Copy !req
228. you could use a break,Copy !req
229. Hello, Carl?Copy !req
230. you there?Copy !req
231. Okay. I just found a model.Copy !req
232. - Hey, boys!
- I know this guy. He bought me dinner.Copy !req
233. Carl, right?Copy !req
234. Hey, what's going on?Copy !req
235. - Remember?
- I only need one.Copy !req
236. You picked me up maybe a few weeks,
I don't know, some time ago.Copy !req
237. This is for a portrait.
I need a pretty face.Copy !req
238. Portrait?Copy !req
239. I'll give you the address.
It's for tomorrow morning.Copy !req
240. Brad Pitt. It's the shit.Copy !req
241. - I don't get it.
- Do you read?Copy !req
242. Who is it, baby?Copy !req
243. Who is that, Verdell?Copy !req
244. I'm sorry.
I told you today.Copy !req
245. I was in the studio doing work,
and I just...Copy !req
246. It's out here.Copy !req
247. - Sure have great things.
- Gershwin is great, isn't he?Copy !req
248. I usually make a big deal
about picking models...Copy !req
249. but Carl is so thorough.Copy !req
250. I bet he drove you nuts
checking your resume, huh?Copy !req
251. This is not a nude.Copy !req
252. just kidding around.Copy !req
253. So much for love.Copy !req
254. Yet another pose.Copy !req
255. Exactly what is
your previous experience?Copy !req
256. How about that, hmm?
I'm running out of ideas here.Copy !req
257. Then give me some direction.Copy !req
258. Nothing.Copy !req
259. I just watch until something
strikes me.Copy !req
260. I mean, do anything
that you think of.Copy !req
261. Wait for me to say "hold that pose,"
then try to comfortably hold it.Copy !req
262. No direction.Copy !req
263. Okay.Copy !req
264. What I do is watch.Copy !req
265. You ever watch somebody
who doesn't know you're watching them?Copy !req
266. An old woman
sitting on a bus...Copy !req
267. or kids going to school...Copy !req
268. or somebody just waiting.Copy !req
269. And you see this flash
come over them...Copy !req
270. and you know immediately that it has
nothing to do with anything external...Copy !req
271. because that hasn't changed.Copy !req
272. And when you see it,
they're sort of realer...Copy !req
273. and they're more alive.Copy !req
274. If you look at somebody long enough,
you discover their humanity.Copy !req
275. Wow.Copy !req
276. I know exactly what you mean.Copy !req
277. Oh, my God.
Hold it.Copy !req
278. - Hey, look out!
- Excuse me.Copy !req
279. - Sorry.
- I got on the third line of dialogue,Copy !req
280. I blanked. I had no clue
as to what the next line was.Copy !req
281. - Ignores me.
- He said to me, "Last chance."Copy !req
282. - Last chance.
- Oh, God.Copy !req
283. I came back in.Copy !req
284. Here she comes
to ignore me again.Copy !req
285. I messed up
on the exact same line.Copy !req
286. - Guess what.
- What?Copy !req
287. He cast me!Copy !req
288. just what the world needs...
another actress.Copy !req
289. Okay, okay.Copy !req
290. Can't live without me, huh?Copy !req
291. I'm finally gonna ask.Copy !req
292. What's with the plastic
picnic ware?Copy !req
293. Why don't you try ours?
You're afraid it isn't clean?Copy !req
294. - You okay?
- I see the help. It's a judgment call.Copy !req
295. So give yourself
a little pep talk.Copy !req
296. Must try other people's
clean silverware...Copy !req
297. as part of fun
of dining out.Copy !req
298. What's wrong with your son?Copy !req
299. Yeah. What do you care?Copy !req
300. He's got to fight to breathe.
His asthma can shoot off the charts.Copy !req
301. He's allergic to dust.Copy !req
302. This is New York, so his immune system
bails on him whenever there's trouble.Copy !req
303. So an ear infection...
Is this bothering you?Copy !req
304. An ear infection, whatever, sends us to
the emergency room six times a month...Copy !req
305. where I get whatever nine-year-old
they just made a doctor.Copy !req
306. Nice chatting with you.Copy !req
307. - His name?
- Spencer.Copy !req
308. Okay.Copy !req
309. Spence.Copy !req
310. It's okay. Go on. Come on.Copy !req
311. It's okay. Go on. Come on.Copy !req
312. You can put on anything you want now.
I might be sort of done here.Copy !req
313. For two weeks all we've done is work.
Let's play!Copy !req
314. Vincent!Copy !req
315. So you're practically finished, huh?Copy !req
316. Yeah.
There is one more stage.Copy !req
317. Where you going?Copy !req
318. No place.
I was just gonna sneak a peek.Copy !req
319. - You want some chocolate?
- No, he's not allowed.Copy !req
320. Wait.Copy !req
321. I gotta take off.
You want to say good-bye or anything?Copy !req
322. - He's just gotta go. One second.
- No, wait.Copy !req
323. I'm gonna look
at the painting.Copy !req
324. Where are you going, sweetheart?Copy !req
325. You want some water?
What is the matter with you?Copy !req
326. You want some water?Copy !req
327. Simon, wait!Copy !req
328. Why are you doing this?Copy !req
329. No. No, wait.Copy !req
330. See.Copy !req
331. - That painting in there...
- What, are you cruising him?Copy !req
332. Excuse me.Copy !req
333. - Help me!
- We gotta go.Copy !req
334. - Let's go.
- Come on, come on!Copy !req
335. So you call 9-1 -1
and don't leave your name?Copy !req
336. That's right.Copy !req
337. Even a dumb geezer should know
Emergency automatically...Copy !req
338. - No one got killed.
- Oh, is he dead?Copy !req
339. Ask him.Copy !req
340. What's wrong with you?Copy !req
341. Don't bark at me.
I didn't name ya.Copy !req
342. We will. If we can't, we'll come back
and ask you again and again.Copy !req
343. What, you're trying to
intimidate me with that attitude?Copy !req
344. I come from hell. My grandmother's
got more attitude than you.Copy !req
345. Go shake down a 7-Eleven
for a day-old wiener.Copy !req
346. It's just a matter of time, sir.
There's a painting of one of the guys.Copy !req
347. Get some tape on it.Copy !req
348. I've been praying for him
since I heard.Copy !req
349. So, anyway, I'm on my way
to the hospital.Copy !req
350. If you could just
watch the dog tonight.Copy !req
351. - I'm sorry. No.
- Okay. Thanks.Copy !req
352. Old bitch.Copy !req
353. Damn dog.Copy !req
354. You're taking him.
Yes, you are!Copy !req
355. Get the hell out of the way!Copy !req
356. You're taking him.
This will even the books. One night.Copy !req
357. Wait, wait.Copy !req
358. Do you want to say no to me?Copy !req
359. Huh?Copy !req
360. I don't want to say nothing
to you.Copy !req
361. Because I've never felt as crazy
as I do right now.Copy !req
362. I almost want you to say no.Copy !req
363. Thanks for looking after him.Copy !req
364. Hey! Where are you going?Copy !req
365. - You can't do this.
- You don't wanna mess with me today!Copy !req
366. I can't take a dog.
Nobody's ever been in here before.Copy !req
367. Hey, Frank.Copy !req
368. You're dead.Copy !req
369. We don't have no dog food here.
We don't want no dog food here.Copy !req
370. You'll eat what we got,
what we eat.Copy !req
371. All right.Copy !req
372. Don't do anything.Copy !req
373. Where's the trust?Copy !req
374. Never a break.Copy !req
375. Dogs.Copy !req
376. Always look at the bright side
of your lifeCopy !req
377. Always look at the lighter side
of your lifeCopy !req
378. God.Copy !req
379. We're not going to sell anything if they
find out we're halfway through a show...Copy !req
380. We're not going to sell anything if they
find out we're halfway through a show...Copy !req
381. and we haven't sold
a single painting.Copy !req
382. We can't reduce the price
at this stage.Copy !req
383. What...
I'm in a free fall here.Copy !req
384. - Yes?
- We can see him.Copy !req
385. Okay. I'll meet you in there.Copy !req
386. I will meet you in there.Copy !req
387. Okay? One minute.Copy !req
388. Thank you.
No, I'm here.Copy !req
389. How are you doing, great one?Copy !req
390. I haven't looked at myself yet.Copy !req
391. I figured I could tell
from your reaction.Copy !req
392. Oh, God.Copy !req
393. That bad, huh?Copy !req
394. I talked to the doctor,
and... Oh!Copy !req
395. Okay. It's not that bad.Copy !req
396. The doctors say you're gonna be
your old self in a couple of weeks.Copy !req
397. The scars might take...Copy !req
398. Oh, shit!Copy !req
399. - Jackie.
- Yes?Copy !req
400. Can you hand me a mirror,
please?Copy !req
401. Wait.
I have a smaller one.Copy !req
402. So how are things anyway?Copy !req
403. How's Verdell?Copy !req
404. Your neighbor, Mr. Udall.Copy !req
405. Taking care of him.Copy !req
406. How could you do that?Copy !req
407. - No, Simon.
- He'll hurt him.Copy !req
408. I promise. Not a chance.Copy !req
409. I own this guy.
Besides, there was nobody else.Copy !req
410. I'm always on the move.Copy !req
411. Trust me.Copy !req
412. You are very certain my dog is okay,
because you have no idea...Copy !req
413. Your dog is fine, Simon.Copy !req
414. Okay.Copy !req
415. Waiting gives the devil time.Copy !req
416. Oh, my.Copy !req
417. Where did I go?Copy !req
418. - Look how friendly he is.
- That's your dog?Copy !req
419. What are you doing
with a dog?Copy !req
420. Suckered in, set up,
pushed around.Copy !req
421. You're not worried
someone might take it?Copy !req
422. No, not until now,
for Christ's sake.Copy !req
423. - Sorry.
- I'm gonna sit here.Copy !req
424. Hey, puppy.Copy !req
425. He's cute.Copy !req
426. I love his little face.
It's so cute.Copy !req
427. I wonder what breed he is.Copy !req
428. He's a little dog.Copy !req
429. Next time, if Bryan's not here,
you can bring him in.Copy !req
430. How old are you?Copy !req
431. If I guessed by your eyes,
I'd say you were 50.Copy !req
432. If I went by your eyes,
I'd say you were kind.Copy !req
433. So much for eyes.
How old are you?Copy !req
434. You brought it up.Copy !req
435. - No, I'm curious.
- Not that you're ugly.Copy !req
436. Yeah. Easy, pal.
I can take the compliment.Copy !req
437. But my knees knock when you
turn on the charm full blast.Copy !req
438. But I mean,
what's with the dark?Copy !req
439. Dawn patrol.Copy !req
440. Major dawn patrol.
My son had a full-blown attack.Copy !req
441. This time, for extra fun,
they gave us the wrong antibiotics.Copy !req
442. - So I get him home...
- No, no!Copy !req
443. The dog.
The bacon's for the dog.Copy !req
444. Last week I was playing the piano
for him, and he likes it.Copy !req
445. So I decided I'm gonna...Copy !req
446. make a joke.Copy !req
447. So you're all set here.Copy !req
448. Yeah.Copy !req
449. I think it's a beautiful day
for our walk today.Copy !req
450. Very nice.Copy !req
451. Look at that. Look at him.Copy !req
452. I gotta give you something.Copy !req
453. I gotta give you something
real good too.Copy !req
454. I'm gonna show it to you.
Come on, buddy.Copy !req
455. Don't you be like me.Copy !req
456. You stay just the way you are,
because you are a perfect man...Copy !req
457. and I'm gonna take you home
and get you something to eat.Copy !req
458. - What you love. Hear me?
- I'd like to be treated like that.Copy !req
459. I'm gonna take you home right now
and get you something. Yes.Copy !req
460. Let's go home
and do some writing.Copy !req
461. He had made the girl happy...Copy !req
462. and what a girl.Copy !req
463. "You saved my life," she said.Copy !req
464. "You'd better make it up to me."Copy !req
465. Done.Copy !req
466. Yes, I hate the doggie.Copy !req
467. Ooh, 62 books.Copy !req
468. Done.Copy !req
469. We have to cut back expenses
every place we can.Copy !req
470. We have to cut back expenses
every place we can.Copy !req
471. - He has no medical insurance?
- No.Copy !req
472. These are the food receipts here,
the household expenses.Copy !req
473. Here's one for the dog again.Copy !req
474. - I can read it. I got it.
- There you go.Copy !req
475. - All the laundry and cleaners.
- Okay, good.Copy !req
476. Boy, look at that, huh?Copy !req
477. Oh, he likes it
at Chez Melvin, hmm?Copy !req
478. What are you coming over here for?
I told you to sit here.Copy !req
479. I can't cook with a dog near me.
Okay, just sit. Good.Copy !req
480. We don't want any company.
I'll read you some Ralph Waldo Emerson.Copy !req
481. Okay, have it your way.Copy !req
482. How's Verdell doing?Copy !req
483. You know,
he's a pain in the ass.Copy !req
484. Well.Copy !req
485. Simon's home.Copy !req
486. I was hoping you can keep the dog
until he's had a chance...Copy !req
487. to think and adjust.Copy !req
488. Oh, it's been weeks and weeks.
A few more won't matter.Copy !req
489. No, he definitely
wants him back right away.Copy !req
490. He'll be by tomorrow.Copy !req
491. Okay.Copy !req
492. Okay by me.Copy !req
493. Hungry.
I'll be right with you, pooch.Copy !req
494. One, two, three, four, five.Copy !req
495. I'm okay.Copy !req
496. Mr. Udall.Copy !req
497. Some face they left hanging on you.
You look like...Copy !req
498. Could you take it...Copy !req
499. just...Copy !req
500. a little easy, Mr. Udall?Copy !req
501. Thank you.Copy !req
502. Come here, my beautiful boy.Copy !req
503. Come here, boy.Copy !req
504. Let's go home and get well.Copy !req
505. You can't blame him
for being weird.Copy !req
506. Have a look at yourself
in the mirror.Copy !req
507. Thank you.Copy !req
508. Come on, sweetheart.Copy !req
509. Come here, boy.Copy !req
510. I know what you want.Copy !req
511. Where's my boy?Copy !req
512. Don't force him.Copy !req
513. Over a dog.Copy !req
514. Over an ugly dog.Copy !req
515. Worst sidewalk in New York.Copy !req
516. Look where they put it.Copy !req
517. Help!Copy !req
518. If you want to see me,
you will make an appointment.Copy !req
519. Dr. Green, how can you diagnose someone
as an obsessive-compulsive disorder...Copy !req
520. and then act as though I had
some choice about barging in?Copy !req
521. There's not going to be a debate.
You must leave.Copy !req
522. You said you could help me.
What was that, a tease?Copy !req
523. I can help you
if you take responsibility...Copy !req
524. - to keep regular appointments.
- You changed the room around.Copy !req
525. Two years ago.
I also regrew my beard.Copy !req
526. But you're not interested
in changes in me.Copy !req
527. I don't have this mountain of time.
I have to get to my restaurant.Copy !req
528. Do you know how hard it was
for me to come here?Copy !req
529. - Yes.
- Thank you.Copy !req
530. No, we're not doing this now.Copy !req
531. I changed just one pattern,
as you always said I should.Copy !req
532. What if this is
as good as it gets?Copy !req
533. What the heck are those for?Copy !req
534. No. Get Carol.Copy !req
535. I'm filling in.Copy !req
536. We don't know
if she's coming back.Copy !req
537. She might be getting a job
closer to home.Copy !req
538. - Why plastic?
- What are you trying to do to me?Copy !req
539. What the heck do you mean?Copy !req
540. Look, elephant girl...Copy !req
541. just go get Carol or something.Copy !req
542. just have her do
my one meal here.Copy !req
543. I'll pay whatever you want.
I'll wait.Copy !req
544. Do it!Copy !req
545. - Bryan, code blue.
- What happened?Copy !req
546. Out!
just shut up and get out!Copy !req
547. Do it!Copy !req
548. I'll be quiet.Copy !req
549. just let me stay here.Copy !req
550. No problem.
Go get Carol.Copy !req
551. Get her here.Copy !req
552. I'm not a prick.
You are. I'm not judging.Copy !req
553. I'm a great customer.Copy !req
554. This day...Copy !req
555. has been a disaster.Copy !req
556. - I'm not sure if I can handle this too.
- Get out.Copy !req
557. Get out immediately...Copy !req
558. or there's gonna be trouble.Copy !req
559. Man, I mean it.Copy !req
560. Okay.Copy !req
561. See ya. Good-bye.Copy !req
562. It's about time!Copy !req
563. Carol's last name.Copy !req
564. - Connelly.
- Thank you.Copy !req
565. Hey, Dad, I'm over here!Copy !req
566. - Does he visit often?
- Not really. Not anymore.Copy !req
567. What can you do?Copy !req
568. Can I get some ice cream, Grandpa?Copy !req
569. Why not? You're a good girl.Copy !req
570. Hello.Copy !req
571. Christ.Copy !req
572. I'm hungry.Copy !req
573. You've ruined my whole day.
I haven't eaten.Copy !req
574. What are you doing here?Copy !req
575. This is not a sexist thing.
If you were a waiter...Copy !req
576. Are you totally gone?
This is my private home.Copy !req
577. I'm trying to keep emotion
out of this...Copy !req
578. even though it's
an important issue to me...Copy !req
579. and I have very strong feelings
on the subject.Copy !req
580. What subject?Copy !req
581. That I wasn't there to take crap
from you and bring you eggs?Copy !req
582. Do you have any control over how
creepy you allow yourself to get?Copy !req
583. Yes, I do, as a matter of fact.Copy !req
584. And to prove it...Copy !req
585. I have not gotten personal,
and you have.Copy !req
586. Why aren't you at work?Copy !req
587. You sick?Copy !req
588. You don't look sick.Copy !req
589. just tired and bitter.Copy !req
590. My son is sick, okay?Copy !req
591. What about your mother?Copy !req
592. How do you know
about my mother?Copy !req
593. I hear you talking
while I wait.Copy !req
594. - Mom, I finished my juice.
- I'm sorry, honey. One second.Copy !req
595. How're you doing?Copy !req
596. You should answer someone
when they speak to you.Copy !req
597. Melvin, that's it. I cannot handle
you teaching my son manners!Copy !req
598. Back to life.Copy !req
599. Uh-oh. What's wrong?Copy !req
600. Five one-thousand,
four one-thousand...Copy !req
601. three one-thousand,
two one-thousand...Copy !req
602. bingo.Copy !req
603. - 104.9.
- Let's treat ourselves to a cab ride.Copy !req
604. Look out, you guys.
Coming through.Copy !req
605. - Mom!
- We're okay.Copy !req
606. Melvin, wait!Copy !req
607. Melvin, wait!Copy !req
608. Shut up, kids!Copy !req
609. Give us a lift,
would you, Melvin?Copy !req
610. A lift. Okay.Copy !req
611. Cover your mouth
when you cough, kid.Copy !req
612. Brooklyn Presbyterian Hospital,
and quickly, please.Copy !req
613. Okay.Copy !req
614. - Hospital?
- Yes.Copy !req
615. - Could you be back at work today?
- No!Copy !req
616. Stay away from me!
God!Copy !req
617. Simon, we can't
put this off any longer.Copy !req
618. Simon, we can't
put this off any longer.Copy !req
619. I feel terrible that I have to...Copy !req
620. - Simon.
- Huh?Copy !req
621. Could you just leave the dog
for a second?Copy !req
622. Sorry.Copy !req
623. - What are those cards?
- Frank's idea.Copy !req
624. He thought I should have notes
so I did this right...Copy !req
625. maintained focus, didn't get emotional
and tried not to terrify you.Copy !req
626. See? He's right.
I need the cards.Copy !req
627. Simon, you're broke.Copy !req
628. The medical bills
are $61,000 now...Copy !req
629. and the show didn't go well.Copy !req
630. I've spoken to your parents.Copy !req
631. They didn't hang up
or anything...Copy !req
632. but they said they would
feel strange about calling you.Copy !req
633. Well, I can't call them.Copy !req
634. Come here, baby.Copy !req
635. Verdell. What's wrong?Copy !req
636. You miss the tough guy?
Well, here I am, sweetheart!Copy !req
637. Happy to see me,
you little pissant mop?Copy !req
638. How about another ride
down the chute?Copy !req
639. Oh, God, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean that.Copy !req
640. - Simon.
- I didn't mean that, sweetheart.Copy !req
641. Sorry. I'm sorry.Copy !req
642. I'll be able to keep
my apartment and the studio...Copy !req
643. won't I?Copy !req
644. Wow.Copy !req
645. Oh, my God.Copy !req
646. Yes, you write more than everybody else
and make us a lot of money.Copy !req
647. - But it's more appropriate...
- Look.Copy !req
648. I need this.
just say, "Melvin, I'll try."Copy !req
649. Okay?Copy !req
650. - Melvin, I'll try.
- Thank you. That's good.Copy !req
651. On a pleasanter note, my son
just got accepted to Brown.Copy !req
652. My husband was dying.Copy !req
653. Yeah. Good, nice,
thrilled, exciting.Copy !req
654. You don't have to wait with me.Copy !req
655. I can't resist.Copy !req
656. You usually move
through here so quickly.Copy !req
657. I have so many questions
I want to ask you.Copy !req
658. You have no idea
what your work means to me.Copy !req
659. What does it mean to you?Copy !req
660. That somebody out there knows
what it's like to be in here.Copy !req
661. Oh, God.
This is like a nightmare.Copy !req
662. just a couple of questions.
How hard is that?Copy !req
663. How do you write women so well?Copy !req
664. I think of a man...Copy !req
665. and I take away reason
and accountability.Copy !req
666. - Where's my newspaper?
- It's right here, Mrs. Garrett.Copy !req
667. "M.D."Copy !req
668. - What is it?
- What's wrong?Copy !req
669. - Mom!
- In here, Mrs. Connelly.Copy !req
670. What? Please, just tell me.Copy !req
671. - I'm Martin Bettes. Dr. Bettes.
- Not your name!Copy !req
672. - Don't tell me your name! Where is he?
- He's in the bathroom.Copy !req
673. - What's wrong?
- Nothing.Copy !req
674. - Did you know docs come to your house?
- No, I didn't.Copy !req
675. - I'm home!
- So what are you doing here?Copy !req
676. - I didn't know you had a secret admirer.
- What?Copy !req
677. - Oh, you met the gift.
- He's good.Copy !req
678. - I'm an expert on doctors.
- Okay, Doctor.Copy !req
679. My wife is Melvin Udall's publisher.Copy !req
680. She said I was to take excellent care
of this little guy...Copy !req
681. because you are urgently needed
back at work.Copy !req
682. What kind of work do you do?Copy !req
683. - I'm a waitress.
- In Manhattan.Copy !req
684. Uh, yeah, Terry. Excuse me.Copy !req
685. I'm sorry it took so long.
I don't know Brooklyn.Copy !req
686. I couldn't find it either.
Could you get this to the lab?Copy !req
687. Tell them I need CBC, differential,
platelets, the whole thing.Copy !req
688. - And I want it back today.
- Okay.Copy !req
689. I'm sorry. Did you say you're gonna
get the results back today?Copy !req
690. Sure. Let's sit down.Copy !req
691. These are the receipts
from all the prescriptions...Copy !req
692. from the beginning of the year.Copy !req
693. - The calendar.
- And this is a calendar of days...Copy !req
694. and how he felt
and what he's been eating.Copy !req
695. That's very good.
How long has he had the problem?Copy !req
696. Since forever. Six months old.Copy !req
697. - Have they done blood tests on him?
- Yeah.Copy !req
698. Only in the emergency room
or when he was well?Copy !req
699. - Emergency room only.
- How about skin testing for allergies?Copy !req
700. - No.
- No standard scratch test?Copy !req
701. No. I asked. They said my plan
didn't cover it and it wasn't necessary.Copy !req
702. - Why? Should they have?
- Well...Copy !req
703. Fucking HMO bastard pieces of shit!Copy !req
704. - I'm sorry.
- Actually, that's their technical name.Copy !req
705. So, once the tests come back...Copy !req
706. is there someone in your office
we should talk to to get the results?Copy !req
707. Um, me. My home number's on the card.Copy !req
708. That's his home number.Copy !req
709. - What?
- It's your home number!Copy !req
710. Can we get you anything else?
Do you want some water or some coffee?Copy !req
711. - No, thank you.
- A couple of female slaves?Copy !req
712. Mrs. Connelly, there's still
a lot of tests I need to do...Copy !req
713. a lot of things
I have to find out here.Copy !req
714. But look, whatever I find out,
I promise you, at the very least...Copy !req
715. from now on your son is going to feel
a great deal better, okay?Copy !req
716. Doc!Copy !req
717. No. Oh, fine. Okay.Copy !req
718. That's good.Copy !req
719. So, listen, you gotta let me know
about the additional costs.Copy !req
720. One way or another, we'll...Copy !req
721. Well, the costs are gonna be
considerable, I'm afraid.Copy !req
722. But don't worry.
Mr. Udall wants to be billed.Copy !req
723. That's wonderful!Copy !req
724. Anyway, dear.
Thank you for everything, Nora.Copy !req
725. Forgive my recent crankiness.
I'll call when things get back on track.Copy !req
726. Huh? What's wrong?Copy !req
727. - Who's gonna walk Verdell?
- Oh, no!Copy !req
728. - Is he dead yet?
- No.Copy !req
729. Would there be any way
that you would be willing...Copy !req
730. to walk his dog for him?Copy !req
731. Absolutely.Copy !req
732. You're a wonderful man.Copy !req
733. 2:00 would be a good time,
and here is the key...Copy !req
734. in case he is asleep.Copy !req
735. Open his curtains for him...Copy !req
736. so he can see God's beautiful work.Copy !req
737. And he'll know that even things
like this happen for the best.Copy !req
738. Did they teach you to talk like this
in some "Sailor, wanna hump-hump" bar?Copy !req
739. Or is this getaway day
and your last shot at his whiskey?Copy !req
740. Sell crazy someplace else.
We're all stocked up here.Copy !req
741. A seriously goofy man is behind this.
You're not allowed to block that out.Copy !req
742. Do you really want to go
back to Emergency...Copy !req
743. where those runt doctors
keep telling us that they can't help?Copy !req
744. - This lets a crazy man into our lives.
- Let's not fight.Copy !req
745. You know how this will turn out.
Come on!Copy !req
746. You know how this will turn out.Copy !req
747. This is not like stockings.
It's not like a string of pearls.Copy !req
748. You don't send this one back.Copy !req
749. Right?Copy !req
750. No, I do, I understand,Copy !req
751. Listen, I gotta go, okay?Copy !req
752. Bye-bye.Copy !req
753. What a day. Come here.Copy !req
754. Maybe I'll bring him some food by.Copy !req
755. Thank you for walking him.Copy !req
756. If you'll excuse me,
I'm not feeling so well.Copy !req
757. This place smells like shit.Copy !req
758. Go away.Copy !req
759. - This cleaning lady doesn't...
- Please, just leave!Copy !req
760. What happened to your queer
party friends?Copy !req
761. Get outta here!Copy !req
762. Nothing worse than having to feel
this way in front of you.Copy !req
763. Nellie, you're a disgrace
to depression.Copy !req
764. Rot in hell, Melvin.Copy !req
765. No need to stop being a lady.Copy !req
766. Quit worrying.Copy !req
767. You'll be back on your knees in no time.Copy !req
768. Is this fun for you?Copy !req
769. You lucky devil. It just keeps
getting better, doesn't it?Copy !req
770. I'm losing my apartment.Copy !req
771. And Frank wants me to beg my parents,
who haven't called me, for help.Copy !req
772. And I won't.Copy !req
773. I don't want to paint anymore.Copy !req
774. So the life that I was trying for
is over.Copy !req
775. The life that I had is gone...Copy !req
776. and I'm feeling so damn sorry for myself
that it's difficult to breathe.Copy !req
777. It's high times for you, isn't it?Copy !req
778. The gay neighbor is terrified.Copy !req
779. Terrified!Copy !req
780. I was just trying to give you a boost.Copy !req
781. Lucky you.Copy !req
782. You're here for rock bottom...Copy !req
783. you absolute horror of a human being.Copy !req
784. The one thing I'll do for you...
I might cheer you up.Copy !req
785. Get out.Copy !req
786. You wanna know
why the dog prefers me?Copy !req
787. It's not affection.
It's a trick.Copy !req
788. I keep bacon in my pocket.Copy !req
789. See?Copy !req
790. Oh, my gosh.Copy !req
791. We'll both call him.
You'll see.Copy !req
792. It's a trick.Copy !req
793. Come here, Verdell.Copy !req
794. Come on.Copy !req
795. Come here, baby. It's okay.Copy !req
796. just stupid. A stupid dog.Copy !req
797. Could you leave now?Copy !req
798. Please?Copy !req
799. I don't get it.Copy !req
800. Taxi!Copy !req
801. Watch again with Nick At Nite's
Classic TVRewind,Copy !req
802. On repeat viewing,
one begins to suspect...Copy !req
803. that might not really be Major Healy
in the phone booth after all,Copy !req
804. - Carol the waitress?
- Yes.Copy !req
805. The doctors gave me your address.
I'm sorry about the hour.Copy !req
806. If you're, uh...Copy !req
807. If you're worried about thanking me...Copy !req
808. That's not why I'm here.Copy !req
809. Though you have no idea what it's like
to have a real conversation...Copy !req
810. with a doctor about Spencer.Copy !req
811. Note. Put it in a note.Copy !req
812. I have a hair dryer...Copy !req
813. Why did you do this for me?Copy !req
814. So you'd come back to work
and wait on me.Copy !req
815. Do you have some idea
how strange that sounds?Copy !req
816. Well, I mean...Copy !req
817. I'm worried you did this be...Copy !req
818. Are you waiting for me
to say something?Copy !req
819. Look.Copy !req
820. I'll be at the restaurant tomorrow.Copy !req
821. I don't think this can wait.
I need to clear this up now.Copy !req
822. Clear what up?Copy !req
823. I'm not going to sleep with you.Copy !req
824. I will never sleep with you!
Never, ever!Copy !req
825. Not ever!Copy !req
826. I'm sorry, but...Copy !req
827. we don't open for the "no sex" oaths
until 9:00 a.m.Copy !req
828. I'm not kidding.Copy !req
829. Anything else?Copy !req
830. just...Copy !req
831. thank you.Copy !req
832. So you'll be at work tomorrow?Copy !req
833. Yes.Copy !req
834. "Never," she says.Copy !req
835. I took a chance you were up.Copy !req
836. I brought you some Chinese soup.Copy !req
837. Thanks.Copy !req
838. I've never been this tired
in my life.Copy !req
839. I haven't been sleeping.Copy !req
840. I haven't been clear in my head...Copy !req
841. or felt like myself.Copy !req
842. I'm in trouble.Copy !req
843. It's not just the tiredness.Copy !req
844. - Boy.
- Sick. Nauseous.Copy !req
845. Sleepy.Copy !req
846. Where everything looks distorted...Copy !req
847. and everything inside you...Copy !req
848. kind of aches and you can barely find
the will to complain.Copy !req
849. Yeah.Copy !req
850. I'm glad we did this.Copy !req
851. Good talking to you.Copy !req
852. You are not still writing
that thank-you note.Copy !req
853. I'm on the last page.
How do you spell "conscience"?Copy !req
854. C-O-N-S-C-I-E-N-C-E.Copy !req
855. Look, I got Sean from the bakery
to baby-sit so we could go out.Copy !req
856. I still don't feel safe
leaving Spencer with someone.Copy !req
857. - Could you spell it again, please?
- Spencer's okay.Copy !req
858. You better start finding something else
to do with your free time.Copy !req
859. - Sean, are you hungry?
- Yes.Copy !req
860. All right. We got pizza.Copy !req
861. Carol and I are going out.
Sausage and pepperoni.Copy !req
862. You want to make this later
for you and Spencer?Copy !req
863. We are going out, like people do.Copy !req
864. If you can't feel good
about this break...Copy !req
865. and step out a little...Copy !req
866. then I think you
ought to have Mr. Udall...Copy !req
867. send you over a psychiatrist.Copy !req
868. I don't need one, because I know
what's really going on here!Copy !req
869. I gotta finish this letter
or I'll go nuts.Copy !req
870. This can't be right.
"Con-science?"Copy !req
871. What?Copy !req
872. It's very weird now
not feeling that...Copy !req
873. stupid panic thing
inside me all the time.Copy !req
874. Without that, I just
start thinking about myself.Copy !req
875. And what good does that
ever get anybody?Copy !req
876. Today on the bus
there was this adorable couple...Copy !req
877. and I felt myself...Copy !req
878. giving them a dirty look.Copy !req
879. I just had no idea everything was...Copy !req
880. Go ahead.Copy !req
881. Moving in the wrong direction.Copy !req
882. Away from a time...Copy !req
883. when I remembered what it was like
to have a man to anything.Copy !req
884. Hold fucking...Copy !req
885. - I'm sorry.
- No, it's okay.Copy !req
886. Hands with, for Christ's sake!Copy !req
887. I felt almost really bad...Copy !req
888. that Dr. Bettes is married.Copy !req
889. Which is probably why I make Spencer
hug me more than he wants to.Copy !req
890. Poor kid doesn't have enough problems.Copy !req
891. He has to make up
for his mom not getting any.Copy !req
892. Who needs these thoughts?Copy !req
893. So what are you saying?
That you're frustrated?Copy !req
894. Leave me be!
Why are you doing this?Copy !req
895. What is it you want?Copy !req
896. I hope getting me to think about
everything that's wrong...Copy !req
897. when all I want to do
is not do that...Copy !req
898. has some purpose.Copy !req
899. Really, Mom, what is it you want?
What?Copy !req
900. I want us to go out.Copy !req
901. Okay.Copy !req
902. Thank you.Copy !req
903. Now I gotta send you
a thank-you note.Copy !req
904. Oh, look. Evelyn's here
and her giant, Joey.Copy !req
905. That's really
why you brought me here?Copy !req
906. That's really
why you brought me here?Copy !req
907. Well, you know,
it's not even mine.Copy !req
908. And this guy Simon seems
to have enough on his mind.Copy !req
909. But the dog did throw up
twice last night and his spark is off.Copy !req
910. - Well, take him to the vet.
- I did.Copy !req
911. They say his stomach's out of whack
and they need him for a couple of days.Copy !req
912. Well, do it!Copy !req
913. - Sorry.
- Excuse me.Copy !req
914. - This is for later.
- What's this?Copy !req
915. - It's a note.
- A note?Copy !req
916. Yeah, it's a thank-you note.Copy !req
917. Thank-you note? No, no.Copy !req
918. - You can read it later.
- No, thank you.Copy !req
919. No thank-you note.Copy !req
920. Thank you.Copy !req
921. She's nice.Copy !req
922. - Yeah.
- Real nice, huh?Copy !req
923. Really nice.Copy !req
924. Shouldn't that be a good thing,
telling somebody, "No thanks required"?Copy !req
925. Sure looks like it went over too.Copy !req
926. Look at you!Copy !req
927. You're sure making the rounds.
Simon says you brought him soup.Copy !req
928. - What?
- Look at you.Copy !req
929. - You think I'm a mark.
- You helped with the dog and now this.Copy !req
930. Hey, I'm as concerned
about Simon as you are.Copy !req
931. - Concerned?
- It's not just financial assistance.Copy !req
932. He's gotta get to Baltimore
to ask his parents for money tomorrow.Copy !req
933. Well, yeah. I mean,
if his parents are alive.Copy !req
934. They have to help.
It's the rules.Copy !req
935. That's great.
Let them help him.Copy !req
936. Only, uh...Copy !req
937. I got a high-maintenance selling painter
coming through, so I'm out.Copy !req
938. Can you drive him?Copy !req
939. Think white and get serious.Copy !req
940. Take my car. A convertible.Copy !req
941. Do you drive?Copy !req
942. Like the wind.
But I'm not doin' it!Copy !req
943. Gettin' loud.Copy !req
944. He wants me to take his car
and his client to Baltimore.Copy !req
945. I want your life for one minute,
where my big problem is...Copy !req
946. somebody offers me a free convertible
so I can get out of this city.Copy !req
947. - Go ahead, girl.
- Okay, I'll do it.Copy !req
948. I'll take him.Copy !req
949. Yeah, get him ready, packed.Copy !req
950. Tomorrow morning I'll take him.Copy !req
951. - Fine. Okay.
- Okay.Copy !req
952. I'll see you tomorrow.
Let's not drag this out.Copy !req
953. We don't enjoy one another that much.Copy !req
954. If there is a mental health foundation
that raises money for people like you...Copy !req
955. please be sure to let me know.Copy !req
956. Last-word freak.Copy !req
957. - Good luck, lady.
- Was he talking to me?Copy !req
958. - So anything else?
- Yeah.Copy !req
959. I'm gonna give my queer neighbor
a lift to Baltimore.Copy !req
960. What I did for you,
it's working out?Copy !req
961. What you did changed my life.Copy !req
962. No thank-you note.Copy !req
963. Well, part of what I said
in this entire history of my life...Copy !req
964. which you won't read...Copy !req
965. is that somehow
you have done more...Copy !req
966. for my mother, my son...Copy !req
967. and me than anybody else ever has.Copy !req
968. I'm just gonna read you
this part of it.Copy !req
969. "And that makes you
the most important, surprising...Copy !req
970. generous person
I ever met in my life...Copy !req
971. and that you're gonna be
in our prayers...Copy !req
972. our daily prayers forever."Copy !req
973. Lovely.Copy !req
974. I also wrote one part
I'm just gonna say.Copy !req
975. I wrote, "I'm sorry."Copy !req
976. I was talking about I was sorry
when I got mad at you for...Copy !req
977. when you came over and you told my son
that he ought to answer back.Copy !req
978. So I wrote that I was sorry
about that and that I...Copy !req
979. I was sorry for busting you on that
and busting in on you that night...Copy !req
980. when I said I was never...Copy !req
981. I was sorry, and I'm sorry
for every time your food was cold...Copy !req
982. and that you had to wait two seconds
for a coffee filler...Copy !req
983. and I'm sorry for never spotting right
there at the table in the restaurant...Copy !req
984. the human being that had it in him
to do this thing for us.Copy !req
985. You know what?
I'm just gonna start from the beginning.Copy !req
986. "I have not been able...Copy !req
987. to express my gratefulness to you.Copy !req
988. Even as I look
at the word 'grateful' now...Copy !req
989. it doesn't begin to tell you
what I feel."Copy !req
990. That's nice of you.
Thank you.Copy !req
991. Thank you.Copy !req
992. Now I want you to do something for me.Copy !req
993. I'm sorry.
Didn't I say, "What?"Copy !req
994. I thought I said "What?"Copy !req
995. What?Copy !req
996. I want you to go on this trip.Copy !req
997. No, sir.Copy !req
998. I can't do this without you.Copy !req
999. I'm afraid he might pull
the stiff'one eye" on me.Copy !req
1000. I need you to chaperone.Copy !req
1001. Separate everything but cars.Copy !req
1002. You said you like convertibles.
Now I'm on the hook.Copy !req
1003. I'm sorry. The stiff'one eye"?Copy !req
1004. - Two days.
- I can't. I work.Copy !req
1005. - You get off when you want to.
- My son.Copy !req
1006. Bettes said he's doin' fine.Copy !req
1007. - Melvin, I'd rather not.
- What's that got to do with it?Copy !req
1008. - I thought it was a strong point.
- Write a note, ain't she sweet.Copy !req
1009. I need a hand,
and where did she go?Copy !req
1010. Are you saying accepting your help
obligates me?Copy !req
1011. Is there any other way to see it?Copy !req
1012. Here's a little suitcase...Copy !req
1013. shocked that it's being used.Copy !req
1014. There's no way to pack
for this trip.Copy !req
1015. - You're still comin', aren't you?
- yes,Copy !req
1016. I would like to know
exactly where we are going.Copy !req
1017. just south of Baltimore, Maryland,
and I know what you're gonna say next.Copy !req
1018. I mean, I think I know,Copy !req
1019. I'm not sure...Copy !req
1020. but I think so,Copy !req
1021. There's no need for me to bring
anything dressy?Copy !req
1022. I didn't know...Copy !req
1023. if we were eating in any restaurants
that have dress codes.Copy !req
1024. Well, I don't...Copy !req
1025. I mean, maybe,Copy !req
1026. I mean, yes! Let's.Copy !req
1027. Gotcha.Copy !req
1028. - What did you think I was gonna ask?
- Whether crabs were in season now.Copy !req
1029. Okay, then. Good night.Copy !req
1030. Anything unusual in the dog's diet?Copy !req
1031. - Everybody gets their own cage?
- Certainly.Copy !req
1032. Put him in with that one, not that one.
Builds his confidence.Copy !req
1033. Lip kiss.Copy !req
1034. I love you.
I'll miss you.Copy !req
1035. Hey! Real sensitive!Copy !req
1036. - Bye.
- Call me when you get settled.Copy !req
1037. Don't worry, Mom!
Have a good time!Copy !req
1038. - Don't run.
- Have fun! Don't worry!Copy !req
1039. - Have fun, but don't run.
- Grandma will take care of me! Bye!Copy !req
1040. - I'm sorry I'm not taking you myself.
- So am I, Frank.Copy !req
1041. Give me a hug.Copy !req
1042. - Everything's gonna be okay, all right?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1043. Soak it up.Copy !req
1044. It's your last chance for a hug
for a few days.Copy !req
1045. Thank you for being on time.Copy !req
1046. Carol the waitress.
Simon the fag.Copy !req
1047. Hello.
Holy God! Who did that to you?Copy !req
1048. Um, I was attacked.Copy !req
1049. I walked in on some men robbing me...Copy !req
1050. and I was hospitalized.Copy !req
1051. - I almost died.
- Let's do the small talk in the car.Copy !req
1052. Let's go.Copy !req
1053. How are you, sir?
Oh, I was gonna do that for you.Copy !req
1054. It's all right.
Where should we sit?Copy !req
1055. I, uh... Well, there's
no place cards or anything.Copy !req
1056. You look like you need more room,
so I'll sit in the back.Copy !req
1057. Never a break. Never.Copy !req
1058. Thank you for the seat.
That was very thoughtful.Copy !req
1059. - You look like you're crowded in there.
- It's all right.Copy !req
1060. Thanks.Copy !req
1061. Thank you.Copy !req
1062. You're welcome.Copy !req
1063. I've got the whole trip programmed.Copy !req
1064. I'm just kidding.
I wanted to see what you'd do.Copy !req
1065. Seriously.Copy !req
1066. We got good stuff here.Copy !req
1067. When it's not always raining
There'll be days like thisCopy !req
1068. - When there's no complaining
- I like this music.Copy !req
1069. There'll be days like thisCopy !req
1070. I like this music.Copy !req
1071. Like the flick of a switchCopy !req
1072. Well, my mama told meCopy !req
1073. There'll be days like thisCopy !req
1074. Well, I'm looking for my girl
I wonder where can she beCopy !req
1075. Simon, I'm sure they did something
really off for you to feel this way...Copy !req
1076. but when it comes to your parents
or your kid...Copy !req
1077. something will always be off for you
unless you set it straight.Copy !req
1078. And maybe this thing happened to you
just to give you a chance to do that.Copy !req
1079. Nonsense.
And you want to know why?Copy !req
1080. Anybody here who's interested in what
Melvin has to say, raise their hand.Copy !req
1081. Do you want to know what happened
with my parents?Copy !req
1082. Yes.Copy !req
1083. - When I was a kid...
- No, wait.Copy !req
1084. I'm gonna pull over,
give you my full attention.Copy !req
1085. Well, I always painted,
and my mother always encouraged it.Copy !req
1086. I mean, she was really
sort of fabulous about it, actually.Copy !req
1087. And she used to...Copy !req
1088. I was too young to think
that there was anything wrong with it.Copy !req
1089. She was very natural,
so she used to pose nude for me.Copy !req
1090. And I always thought,
or I guess I assumed...Copy !req
1091. that my father knew about it.Copy !req
1092. This stuff is pointless.Copy !req
1093. - Hey, let him finish...
- You like sad stories? Wanna hear mine?Copy !req
1094. Stop.Copy !req
1095. Go ahead, really.
Please don't let him stop you.Copy !req
1096. One day he walked in and found us,
and he started screaming.Copy !req
1097. My father didn't come out of his room
for 11 years.Copy !req
1098. He used to hit me on the hands
with a yardstick if I made a mistake...Copy !req
1099. playing the piano.Copy !req
1100. Go ahead, Simon.Copy !req
1101. So you said he came in your room
and he was yelling?Copy !req
1102. - Uh-huh.
- Please, come on.Copy !req
1103. - He was, um...
- Come on.Copy !req
1104. Yeah, I know. I was...Copy !req
1105. I remember I was defending
my mother...Copy !req
1106. and I was trying to, you know...Copy !req
1107. make peace in the lamest way.Copy !req
1108. I said...Copy !req
1109. "She's not naked. It's art."Copy !req
1110. He started hitting me...Copy !req
1111. and he beat me unconscious.Copy !req
1112. And he talked to me
less and less after that.Copy !req
1113. I mean, he knew what I was
before I did.Copy !req
1114. And the morning
that I left for college...Copy !req
1115. he walked into my room...Copy !req
1116. and he held out his hand...Copy !req
1117. and it was filled with money.Copy !req
1118. A big, sweaty wad of money.Copy !req
1119. And he said, "I don't want you
to ever come back."Copy !req
1120. And I just grabbed him
and I hugged him...Copy !req
1121. and he turned and walked out.Copy !req
1122. We all have these terrible stories
to get over, and you...Copy !req
1123. That's not true.Copy !req
1124. Some of us have great stories,
pretty stories...Copy !req
1125. that take place at lakes...Copy !req
1126. with boats and friends
and noodle salad.Copy !req
1127. just no one in this car.Copy !req
1128. But a lot of people...Copy !req
1129. that's their story:
good times, noodle salad.Copy !req
1130. What makes it so hard
is not that you had it bad...Copy !req
1131. but that you're that pissed
that so many others had it good.Copy !req
1132. - No! I don't think so.
- Not it at all, really.Copy !req
1133. Not it at all, huh?Copy !req
1134. Let's go to the hotel.Copy !req
1135. Tomorrow you'll see if you can get
another big wad...Copy !req
1136. of sweaty money out of his hand.Copy !req
1137. Can I ask you a personal question?Copy !req
1138. Sure.Copy !req
1139. You ever get an erection
over a woman?Copy !req
1140. I mean, wouldn't your life
be easier if you weren't...Copy !req
1141. You consider your life easy?Copy !req
1142. All right.
I give you that one.Copy !req
1143. Nice packin'.Copy !req
1144. - Hey, Spence.
- Hi, Mom,Copy !req
1145. - Wait till you hear,
- Why are you out of breath?Copy !req
1146. Mom, I ran over a guy
and scored a goal,Copy !req
1147. - You did?
- yeah, He was big, Charlie, you know,Copy !req
1148. That's great!Copy !req
1149. - yep, Amazing,
- Oh, my God, right?Copy !req
1150. Mom, we're playing again,
Gotta go, Bye,Copy !req
1151. Wait. Just tell me...Copy !req
1152. - He scored a goal,
- Mom, I don't believe it.Copy !req
1153. - Oh, you would've died.
- Oh, my God,Copy !req
1154. My son was outside playing soccer.
Come on.Copy !req
1155. Take me out for a good time.
Take me out dancing.Copy !req
1156. Dancing?Copy !req
1157. I can't. I'm exhausted.Copy !req
1158. Oh, come on. Please, come on.Copy !req
1159. All right.Copy !req
1160. You're right.Copy !req
1161. - Are you sad or something?
- No, I'm nervous.Copy !req
1162. It would be very rough, Carol,
if you weren't along.Copy !req
1163. What a nice compliment.Copy !req
1164. I'm happy.Copy !req
1165. And you're my date.Copy !req
1166. Let's get dressed.Copy !req
1167. - I'm gonna jump in the shower.
- Okay.Copy !req
1168. - I'll be right with you.
- Okay.Copy !req
1169. - All set?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1170. - Do you sell hard-shell crabs?
- Yes.Copy !req
1171. - Do they sell hard-shells?
- Yes.Copy !req
1172. - Do they sell hard-shells?
- Yes.Copy !req
1173. Thank you.Copy !req
1174. Good evening.Copy !req
1175. - Hi. You have hard-shells, right?
- Stop asking everyone.Copy !req
1176. just him. Okay, you can answer.
We worked it out.Copy !req
1177. Yes, we do.Copy !req
1178. Oh, and I can give you
a tie and jacket.Copy !req
1179. - What?
- They require a tie and jacket.Copy !req
1180. We have some available.Copy !req
1181. No, I'm not putting that on.Copy !req
1182. I'm also not going to let you inject me
with the plague, either.Copy !req
1183. It's such a nice place.Copy !req
1184. You probably have these dry cleaned
all the time, don't you?Copy !req
1185. Actually, I don't think so.Copy !req
1186. Well, you just wait here.Copy !req
1187. Excuse me.Copy !req
1188. Good evening.Copy !req
1189. - I need a coat and tie.
- Well, come on in.Copy !req
1190. - Uh, that one.
- This one?Copy !req
1191. That one, yeah.
And this tie.Copy !req
1192. Excuse me.Copy !req
1193. She's here.
We saved a table for you.Copy !req
1194. - Thanks.
- Should I get her for you?Copy !req
1195. No, that's all right.
I'll just watch.Copy !req
1196. - Can I buy you another drink?
- This is plenty. No, thank you.Copy !req
1197. Oh. Wait.Copy !req
1198. You look so se...Copy !req
1199. You look, uh, great.Copy !req
1200. You look great.Copy !req
1201. You want to dance?Copy !req
1202. Well, I've been thinking about that
since you brought it up before.Copy !req
1203. - And?
- No.Copy !req
1204. I don't get this place.Copy !req
1205. They make me buy a new outfit
and let you in in a housedress.Copy !req
1206. I don't get it.Copy !req
1207. What? No. Wait. Why?Copy !req
1208. Where are you goin'? Why?Copy !req
1209. I didn't mean it that way.
You ought to sit down.Copy !req
1210. You can still give me the dirty look.
just sit down and give it to me.Copy !req
1211. Pay me a compliment, Melvin.Copy !req
1212. I need one. Quick.Copy !req
1213. You have no idea how much
what you just said hurt my feelings.Copy !req
1214. The mono-minute someone gets
that they need you...Copy !req
1215. they threaten to walk out.Copy !req
1216. A compliment is something nice
about somebody else.Copy !req
1217. - Now or never.
- Okay.Copy !req
1218. And mean it.Copy !req
1219. Can we order first?Copy !req
1220. Two hard-shell crab dinners!Copy !req
1221. Pitcher of ice-cold beer!Copy !req
1222. Baked or fries?Copy !req
1223. Fries.Copy !req
1224. One baked, one fried.Copy !req
1225. I'll tell your waiter.Copy !req
1226. My waiter.Copy !req
1227. Okay, now, I got a real great
compliment for you...Copy !req
1228. and it's true.Copy !req
1229. I'm so afraid you're about
to say something awful.Copy !req
1230. Don't be pessimistic.
It's not your style.Copy !req
1231. Okay, here I go.Copy !req
1232. Clearly a mistake.Copy !req
1233. I've got this, what, ailment?Copy !req
1234. My doctor, a shrink that
I used to go to all the time...Copy !req
1235. says that in 50 or 60 percent
of the cases...Copy !req
1236. a pill really helps.Copy !req
1237. I hate pills.Copy !req
1238. Very dangerous thing, pills.Copy !req
1239. I'm using the word "hate" here
about pills.Copy !req
1240. My compliment is, that night...Copy !req
1241. when you came over and told me
that you would never...Copy !req
1242. All right, well, you were there.
You know what you said.Copy !req
1243. Well, my compliment to you is...Copy !req
1244. the next morning
I started taking the pills.Copy !req
1245. I don't quite get
how that's a compliment for me.Copy !req
1246. You make me want to be a better man.Copy !req
1247. That's maybe the best compliment
of my life.Copy !req
1248. Well, maybe I overshot a little.Copy !req
1249. I was aiming at just enough
to keep you from walking out.Copy !req
1250. How's it goin' with those pills?Copy !req
1251. Good, I hope, I hope...Copy !req
1252. It's little by little.Copy !req
1253. It's exhausting talking like this.Copy !req
1254. Do you ever let a romantic moment make
you do something you know is stupid?Copy !req
1255. Never.Copy !req
1256. Here's the trouble with "never."Copy !req
1257. - You don't owe me that.
- That wasn't payment.Copy !req
1258. When you first came in to breakfast,
when I first saw you...Copy !req
1259. I thought you were handsome.Copy !req
1260. Then, of course, you spoke.Copy !req
1261. So now that your...Copy !req
1262. soft little underbelly
is all exposed...Copy !req
1263. tell me, why did you
bring me here?Copy !req
1264. It's...Copy !req
1265. a personal question.Copy !req
1266. - Tell me, even if you're scared.
- Scared?Copy !req
1267. Tell me why you wanted me here.Copy !req
1268. It's okay.Copy !req
1269. If you ask me, I'll say yes.Copy !req
1270. Well, I...Copy !req
1271. I don't know.Copy !req
1272. There's a lot of reasons.Copy !req
1273. I thought... one thought...
maybe if you had sex with Simon...Copy !req
1274. What?Copy !req
1275. Well, that's just one idea.Copy !req
1276. That's why you brought me?Copy !req
1277. Like I'm a what...Copy !req
1278. and I owe you what?Copy !req
1279. I don't know why I brought you.Copy !req
1280. That was just one thought that I had.
It came out first. That's all it was.Copy !req
1281. I thought, you kiss him, me.Copy !req
1282. When you two seemed to hit it off...Copy !req
1283. No, wait. That's... I didn't mean...Copy !req
1284. Forget what I said about Simon.Copy !req
1285. - I'll never forget you said it.
- It's a mistake.Copy !req
1286. It was a mistake.Copy !req
1287. - Hello, this is Fred Bishop,
- And Betty,Copy !req
1288. We're sorry to be unable
to take your call right now,Copy !req
1289. Please leave a message
with all the pertinent information,Copy !req
1290. - Say good-bye,
- Good-bye,Copy !req
1291. Thank you,Copy !req
1292. It's Simon.Copy !req
1293. I'm in town.Copy !req
1294. Folks, you haven't been out later
that 10:00 in your entire lives.Copy !req
1295. Please pick up the phone.Copy !req
1296. Really.Copy !req
1297. I'll try you in the morning.Copy !req
1298. I need to see you...Copy !req
1299. or at least get you
to answer the phone.Copy !req
1300. How are you?Copy !req
1301. - Is this gonna be your room?
- Our room.Copy !req
1302. I don't wanna see him,
and he's not gonna knock on your door.Copy !req
1303. What happened?Copy !req
1304. Don't ask.Copy !req
1305. - Can you not be so violent?
- I don't think so.Copy !req
1306. - Do you need help...
- No!Copy !req
1307. I'm taking a big bath
and ordering a big meal.Copy !req
1308. I'm sorry.
Are you okay?Copy !req
1309. I'm tired of my own complaints.
I gotta get some new thoughts.Copy !req
1310. What are you thinking about?Copy !req
1311. How to die, mostly.Copy !req
1312. Can you believe, in our little mix,
you're the good roommate?Copy !req
1313. - Good night.
- Good night.Copy !req
1314. Hold it.Copy !req
1315. - I have to draw you.
- Huh?Copy !req
1316. I have to draw you.Copy !req
1317. Absolutely not. I'm a lot
more shy than people think.Copy !req
1318. - I give off the wrong impression.
- I have to.Copy !req
1319. I haven't sketched anything
in weeks.Copy !req
1320. Stop staring.
Do a vase.Copy !req
1321. But you're beautiful.Copy !req
1322. Your skin, your long neck...Copy !req
1323. the back, the line of you.Copy !req
1324. You're why cavemen
chiseled on walls.Copy !req
1325. All right. Cut me a break.Copy !req
1326. The next thing I know she's...Copy !req
1327. sitting right there next to me.Copy !req
1328. Well, it's not right
to go into details.Copy !req
1329. I got nervous.Copy !req
1330. I screwed up.
I said the wrong thing.Copy !req
1331. Where if I hadn't...Copy !req
1332. I could be in bed right now
with a woman...Copy !req
1333. who if you make her laugh,
you got a life.Copy !req
1334. Instead, I'm here with you.Copy !req
1335. No offense, but a moron
pushing the last legal drug.Copy !req
1336. jameson, soda back.Copy !req
1337. I'm sorry.
I don't care how you put this.Copy !req
1338. - We're being naughty here, pal.
- No.Copy !req
1339. This is great.
This is so great.Copy !req
1340. I swear to God,
my hand won't even keep up.Copy !req
1341. - Hold it.
- I'm just turning.Copy !req
1342. - Then hold that. Hold any of them.
- Okay. This?Copy !req
1343. It doesn't matter.
My hand's not even bothering me.Copy !req
1344. I can't... I just...Copy !req
1345. I can't get the angle
with this cast.Copy !req
1346. Oh, careful.Copy !req
1347. Coming in. It's late.Copy !req
1348. Did you have sex with her?Copy !req
1349. You're sure you
don't want your shampoos?Copy !req
1350. Sorry.Copy !req
1351. I didn't know
she was still here.Copy !req
1352. - Did you have sex with her?
- To hell with sex.Copy !req
1353. It was better than sex.
We held each other.Copy !req
1354. What I need
he gave me great.Copy !req
1355. I'll get dressed in a hurry.Copy !req
1356. I just love her.Copy !req
1357. How are you doin'?Copy !req
1358. - Hello?
- Mom? Hi.Copy !req
1359. Hello, Simon, you were right,
We were home last night,Copy !req
1360. Do you have to whisper?
I can barely hear you.Copy !req
1361. - I'm not a screamer,
- No, no.Copy !req
1362. It was the luckiest thing
you didn't answer last night.Copy !req
1363. - your father hasn't been feeling well,
- I can't hear you.Copy !req
1364. - It's too late to start, Hold on,
- Hold for what?Copy !req
1365. What are you gonna do?
Where are you going?Copy !req
1366. I get why you're angry with me,
but it's no snap to...Copy !req
1367. - He's talking to his parents.
- Then you listen to me.Copy !req
1368. Truly no grudges, okay?
Truly.Copy !req
1369. It was odd that you didn't come see me
when you heard I was hurt, but...Copy !req
1370. - We almost did,
- I don't even want to talk about it.Copy !req
1371. The important thing is
that your son is happy.Copy !req
1372. - you do sound different,
- Yes, I'm working again.Copy !req
1373. - Good, About money...
- I don't need anything.Copy !req
1374. I'll drop you a line
from wherever I land.Copy !req
1375. Then it's up to you to make
the next move, and I hope you do.Copy !req
1376. He's gonna want to stay.Copy !req
1377. They'll want to take a ride
to the lake or whatever.Copy !req
1378. - Okay. Bye-bye.
- Bye, dear,Copy !req
1379. - He's gonna feel stirred up.
- Bye, Mom.Copy !req
1380. We'll probably have
a good five-hour drive.Copy !req
1381. - It'll give us a chance to relax...
- So?Copy !req
1382. - and be together alone.
- I'm coming with you.Copy !req
1383. - What about your parents?
- No, I'll take care of myself.Copy !req
1384. What are you talking about?
You got real problems.Copy !req
1385. I know. I'm a little bit nervous.Copy !req
1386. Suddenly everything
seems so easy.Copy !req
1387. Carol, a load has been lifted.Copy !req
1388. - One night with me.
- You think you're kidding.Copy !req
1389. - Ah, geez. No choice.
- I got a gift for you.Copy !req
1390. Nothing like no choice
to make you feel at home.Copy !req
1391. Let me see.Copy !req
1392. Ah. Gorgeous.Copy !req
1393. Do it then, and pick up the dog.
I can't believe you let it stay there.Copy !req
1394. Good-bye.Copy !req
1395. Your luck's running.Copy !req
1396. They sublet your place.
You're homeless.Copy !req
1397. Frank's got a line on another place
you can use for now.Copy !req
1398. - Another place where?
- Does it matter?Copy !req
1399. It doesn't.Copy !req
1400. I'm fine. Like the hat?Copy !req
1401. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1402. I love youCopy !req
1403. For sentimental reasonsCopy !req
1404. I don't want to hear
that music right now.Copy !req
1405. - You said you liked it.
- I don't.Copy !req
1406. - This one has a meaning.
- It's your call...Copy !req
1407. but I don't want to hear it,
if that means anything.Copy !req
1408. Yes, sir. All right.Copy !req
1409. Here's the keys
to my apartment.Copy !req
1410. You go up there and wait.
I'm gonna take Carol home.Copy !req
1411. - I'll take a bus.
- No, I'll take you.Copy !req
1412. Can you come here?Copy !req
1413. - I don't care what you did for me.
- What's wrong?Copy !req
1414. I don't think
I want to know you anymore.Copy !req
1415. All you do is make me
feel bad about myself.Copy !req
1416. You have my number.Copy !req
1417. Let him take you home.Copy !req
1418. I don't want to.Copy !req
1419. - I love you.
- Love you too.Copy !req
1420. Don't say anything.Copy !req
1421. I gotta get ahold of Frank,
see where I'm hanging my hat.Copy !req
1422. Well...Copy !req
1423. I think you're gonna
have to camp it here.Copy !req
1424. - What are you talking about?
- Oh, look! There's Verdell!Copy !req
1425. Look at you!Copy !req
1426. - Come here.
- Look at you.Copy !req
1427. Mommy and Daddy are home.Copy !req
1428. Sorry.
You're just fun to mess with.Copy !req
1429. They rented your place furnished.
jackie brought your personal things.Copy !req
1430. They were gonna set you up in here.
It's an extra room.Copy !req
1431. I never use it.Copy !req
1432. It's got good light.
No other choice, really.Copy !req
1433. I'm coming.Copy !req
1434. It's nice.Copy !req
1435. It looks good.Copy !req
1436. They got your music...Copy !req
1437. paintings, paints.Copy !req
1438. Have to say
they did a good job.Copy !req
1439. Well, it's gonna be okay, huh?Copy !req
1440. - Cozy, huh?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1441. Thank you.Copy !req
1442. You overwhelm me.Copy !req
1443. I love you.Copy !req
1444. I tell you, buddy.Copy !req
1445. I'd be the luckiest guy alive
if that did it for me.Copy !req
1446. Make yourself at home.Copy !req
1447. Anything else in the bag?Copy !req
1448. - I played soccer while you were away.
- Yeah, I know.Copy !req
1449. I love my cookbook.Copy !req
1450. It's great. It's got all
these wonderful recipes in here.Copy !req
1451. It says something for shark.
I never fixed shark before.Copy !req
1452. "Shark With A Bite."
Would you like that, Spencer?Copy !req
1453. There's some cookies here
called "Wasps' Nest."Copy !req
1454. Where is my big, hairy boy?Copy !req
1455. Where is he?Copy !req
1456. Where is my beautiful boy?
Sweetheart.Copy !req
1457. Oh, you're in bed.Copy !req
1458. Oh, no.Copy !req
1459. Yeah.Copy !req
1460. I just didn't think Verdell
should get too comfortable...Copy !req
1461. - sleeping in here.
- Look.Copy !req
1462. - It's not gonna...
- The dog's already comfortable.Copy !req
1463. Is this okay?Copy !req
1464. It's me. Hi!Copy !req
1465. Yes.Copy !req
1466. He took me in. Yes.
It's Carol for you.Copy !req
1467. I practically fainted
when I walked in.Copy !req
1468. - Take the dog.
- I gotta go.Copy !req
1469. - Just take the dog.
- Oh, come here.Copy !req
1470. Come on. Move faster.Copy !req
1471. - Don't limp. Move fast.
- Good luck.Copy !req
1472. - Yeah.
- How are you doing?Copy !req
1473. - Not so hot.
- Why? What's wrong?Copy !req
1474. I don't know whether I'm
being sensible or hard on you.Copy !req
1475. Maybe both, Maybe,Copy !req
1476. See, right there, I don't know
whether you're being cute or crazy.Copy !req
1477. - Cute.
- Don't answer everything I say.Copy !req
1478. just listen to me, okay?
Listen to me.Copy !req
1479. It's really something
that you're looking after Simon.Copy !req
1480. And what I said on the street...Copy !req
1481. that was a bad thing to say.Copy !req
1482. It made me sick to my stomach.
It was a bad thing to say.Copy !req
1483. I'd be lying if I didn't say
I enjoy your company.Copy !req
1484. But the truth is,
you do bother me enormously.Copy !req
1485. And I know that it...Copy !req
1486. I think that it's better for me
to not have contact with you...Copy !req
1487. because you're not ready...Copy !req
1488. and you're a pretty old guy
to not be ready...Copy !req
1489. and I'm too old to ignore that.Copy !req
1490. But there were
extraordinary kindnesses...Copy !req
1491. that did take place.Copy !req
1492. Anyway, thanks for the trip.Copy !req
1493. Good night.Copy !req
1494. Okay if I say something now?Copy !req
1495. Go ahead.Copy !req
1496. I should have danced with you.Copy !req
1497. Good night.Copy !req
1498. - Are you gonna talk to me or not?
- I'm coming.Copy !req
1499. - What did she say?
- That I'm a great guy.Copy !req
1500. Extraordinary.Copy !req
1501. And she doesn't want
contact with me.Copy !req
1502. I'm dying here.Copy !req
1503. Because...Copy !req
1504. you love her.Copy !req
1505. And you people are supposed
to be sensitive and sharp?Copy !req
1506. Then you tell me why.
You're the one who's "dying here."Copy !req
1507. I don't know.Copy !req
1508. - Let me sleep on it.
- Oh, come on.Copy !req
1509. - I'll figure it out.
- Oh, please.Copy !req
1510. I'm stuck.Copy !req
1511. I can't get back
to my old life.Copy !req
1512. She's evicted me from my life.Copy !req
1513. Did you really like it that much?Copy !req
1514. Well, it's better than this.Copy !req
1515. Look, you,
I'm very intelligent.Copy !req
1516. If you're gonna give me hope,
you gotta do better than you're doing.Copy !req
1517. If you can't be at least mildly
interesting, then shut the hell up.Copy !req
1518. I'm drowning here,
and you're describing the water!Copy !req
1519. Picking on me won't help.Copy !req
1520. If that's true,
I'm really in trouble.Copy !req
1521. Melvin, do you know
where you're lucky?Copy !req
1522. You know who you want.Copy !req
1523. I would take your seat
any day.Copy !req
1524. So do something about it.Copy !req
1525. Go over there now, tonight.
Don't sleep on it.Copy !req
1526. It's not always good
to let things calm down.Copy !req
1527. You can do this, Melvin.
You can do this.Copy !req
1528. Pull the stops.
Tell her how you feel.Copy !req
1529. - You can do this.
- Hey, I'm charged here.Copy !req
1530. - Yes, you are.
- She might kill me if I go over.Copy !req
1531. Then get in your jammies
and I'll read you a story.Copy !req
1532. I really think
you have a chance here.Copy !req
1533. The best thing you have going for you
is a willingness to humiliate yourself.Copy !req
1534. So go over there, do this.
Catch her off guard.Copy !req
1535. - Okay.
- Okay.Copy !req
1536. - Thanks a lot.
- Okay.Copy !req
1537. Here I go.Copy !req
1538. What's wrong?Copy !req
1539. I forgot to lock the door.Copy !req
1540. What do you want, Melvin?Copy !req
1541. - I'm sorry I woke you.
- I wasn't asleep.Copy !req
1542. What a break.Copy !req
1543. Is it a secret
what you're doing here?Copy !req
1544. I had to see you.Copy !req
1545. Because?Copy !req
1546. It relaxes me.Copy !req
1547. I'd feel better sitting outside
your apartment on the curb...Copy !req
1548. than any other place...Copy !req
1549. I can think of or imagine.Copy !req
1550. No, wait.
That's overstating.Copy !req
1551. I'd rather be sitting inside
on the steps...Copy !req
1552. 'cause I don't want to
get my feet in the gutter.Copy !req
1553. - What would that serve?
- Stop it!Copy !req
1554. Why can't I just have
a normal boyfriend? Why?Copy !req
1555. just a regular boyfriend
who doesn't go nuts on me.Copy !req
1556. Everybody wants that, dear.
It doesn't exist.Copy !req
1557. Oh, I'm sorry.Copy !req
1558. I didn't mean to interrupt.Copy !req
1559. Boyfriend.Copy !req
1560. Come on in and try not
to ruin everything by being you.Copy !req
1561. Maybe we could live
without the wisecracks.Copy !req
1562. Maybe we could.Copy !req
1563. It feels a little confined in here.Copy !req
1564. Let's take a walk.Copy !req
1565. See, it's 4:00 in the morning.Copy !req
1566. A walk sounds
a little screwy to me...Copy !req
1567. if you don't mind.Copy !req
1568. Well, if you need an excuse...Copy !req
1569. there's a bakery on the corner
that will be open soon.Copy !req
1570. That way we're not screwy.Copy !req
1571. just two people
that like warm rolls.Copy !req
1572. Okay.Copy !req
1573. What are you doing?Copy !req
1574. I still want you to hear
part of that car song.Copy !req
1575. You don't have to...Copy !req
1576. And darlin'Copy !req
1577. I'm never lonelyCopy !req
1578. Whenever you're in sightCopy !req
1579. Thank you.Copy !req
1580. You know, I was hoping...Copy !req
1581. I'm sorry. Whatever this is
is not gonna work.Copy !req
1582. - I'm feel...
- What?Copy !req
1583. I'm feeling better, Carol.Copy !req
1584. Even though
it may seem that way now...Copy !req
1585. you don't know me all that well.Copy !req
1586. I'm not the answer for you.Copy !req
1587. Hey, I've got
a great compliment for you.Copy !req
1588. - You know what?
- Just let me...Copy !req
1589. Let me talk.Copy !req
1590. I might be the only person
on the face of the Earth...Copy !req
1591. that knows you're
the greatest woman on Earth.Copy !req
1592. I might be the only one
who appreciates...Copy !req
1593. how amazing you are in every
single thing that you do...Copy !req
1594. and how you are with Spencer.Copy !req
1595. Spence.Copy !req
1596. In every single thought you have
and how you say what you mean...Copy !req
1597. and how you almost always
mean something...Copy !req
1598. that's all about
being straight and good.Copy !req
1599. I think most people
miss that about you.Copy !req
1600. I wonder how they
can watch you...Copy !req
1601. bring their food
and clear their tables...Copy !req
1602. and never get that they just met
the greatest woman alive.Copy !req
1603. And the fact that I get it...Copy !req
1604. makes me feel good...Copy !req
1605. about me.Copy !req
1606. Is that something that's...Copy !req
1607. bad for you to be around
for you?Copy !req
1608. I'm gonna grab ya.Copy !req
1609. I didn't mean for that
to be a question.Copy !req
1610. I'm gonna grab ya.Copy !req
1611. I know I can do better than that.Copy !req
1612. Better.
Definitely better.Copy !req
1613. See?Copy !req
1614. Warm rolls.Copy !req
1615. - Excuse us.
- Excuse us.Copy !req