1. My name is Ash,
and I am a slave.Copy !req
2. - Aah!Copy !req
3. Close as I can figure it,
the year is 1300 A.D.Copy !req
4. and I'm being
dragged to my death.Copy !req
5. It wasn't always
like this.Copy !req
6. I had
a real life once.Copy !req
7. A job.Copy !req
8. Ash to price check four.Copy !req
9. Um, hardware, aisle 12.Copy !req
10. Shop smart.
Shop S-mart.Copy !req
11. I had a wonderful
girlfriend, Linda.Copy !req
12. Together, we drove to
a small cabin in the mountains.Copy !req
13. It seems an archaeologist
had come to this remote place...Copy !req
14. to translate and study
his latest find,Copy !req
15. "Necronomicon Ex Mortis,"Copy !req
16. "The Book of the Dead."Copy !req
17. Bound in human flesh
and inked in blood,Copy !req
18. this ancient Sumerian text
contained bizarre burial rites,Copy !req
19. funerary incantations
and demon resurrection passages.Copy !req
20. It was never meant
for the world of the living.Copy !req
21. The book awoke
something dark in the woods.Copy !req
22. It took Linda.Copy !req
23. - And then it came for me.Copy !req
24. It got into my hand
and it went bad.Copy !req
25. So I lopped it off
at the wrist.Copy !req
26. But that didn't stop it.
It came back.Copy !req
27. - Big time.Copy !req
28. Ah!Copy !req
29. Aah!Copy !req
30. My God!Copy !req
31. How do you stop it?Copy !req
32. - Surround the stranger!Copy !req
33. All right,
you men, fall in!Copy !req
34. All o' ya, keep a pace!Copy !req
35. Where in the hell--Copy !req
36. Stand fast, hellhound!Copy !req
37. No, no.
Easy now, chief.Copy !req
38. Uh, I don't know
how I got here,Copy !req
39. - and, uh, uh, I'm not
looking for any trouble.Copy !req
40. What a piece of armor this is!Copy !req
41. - Wise man!
- Fall back! Come on, all you men.Copy !req
42. Back on your horses.
Come on!Copy !req
43. My lord, I believe he is the one
written of in the Necronomicon.Copy !req
44. He who's prophesied to fall
from the heavens...Copy !req
45. and deliver us from
the terrors of the Deadites.Copy !req
46. What, that buffoon?Copy !req
47. Likely...Copy !req
48. he's one
of Henry's men!Copy !req
49. - Kneel, rapscallions!Copy !req
50. I say
to the pit with him!Copy !req
51. You shall soon
learn the horrors of the pit.Copy !req
52. - To the pit!
- You miserable bast--Copy !req
53. - Get him!
- Get off of me!Copy !req
54. - Let me go!
- Chain him!Copy !req
55. Ah, you're gonna have
a little bit of wee fun, mate.Copy !req
56. To the castle!Copy !req
57. Pick up your feet!
Stop draggin' your feet!Copy !req
58. Come on!
Move along!Copy !req
59. Come on, now.Copy !req
60. Come on, pick it up.
Have a taste of this!Copy !req
61. You men got something
to look forward to...Copy !req
62. when you get back to the castle.Copy !req
63. Lord Arthur approaches!Copy !req
64. Raise the portcullis!Copy !req
65. Lord Arthur!
Lord Arthur approaches!Copy !req
66. That's lovely, isn't it?
Move it in.Copy !req
67. Move it,
you worthless--Copy !req
68. - Get on!Copy !req
69. Move it up, boys.
God save the king!Copy !req
70. God save the king.
We love him!Copy !req
71. Arthur!
He's back!Copy !req
72. Lord Arthur, where is my brother?
Did he not ride with you?Copy !req
73. Aye,
and fought valiantly.Copy !req
74. But last night he fell in battle
to Duke Henry's men.Copy !req
75. I'm sorry, Sheila.Copy !req
76. Come on.Copy !req
77. You cretin!
Ah, stop it, you bastard!Copy !req
78. You barbarian!Copy !req
79. - Oh, no! Stop it! Stop it!Copy !req
80. Get outta here,
you little brat!Copy !req
81. Foul thing!
A pox on you, brute!Copy !req
82. Thou art a murderer!
A black murderer!Copy !req
83. My brother's death
shall be avenged!Copy !req
84. Company, halt!Copy !req
85. Get that yoke off 'im!Copy !req
86. Kill them!Copy !req
87. Put them into the pit!Copy !req
88. You, sir,
are not one of my vassals.Copy !req
89. Who are you?Copy !req
90. Who wants to know?Copy !req
91. I am Henry the Red,Copy !req
92. Duke of Shael, Lord of the Northlands
and leader of its peoples.Copy !req
93. Well, hello,
Mr. Fancy Pants.Copy !req
94. I got news for you, pal. You ain't
leadin' but two things right now--Copy !req
95. Jack and shit,
and Jack left town.Copy !req
96. Shut your bleedin' hole!Copy !req
97. Shut your bleedin' hole!Copy !req
98. Gentlemen, Lord Arthur!Copy !req
99. There is an evil
awakened in this land,Copy !req
100. and while my people fight
for their very souls against it,Copy !req
101. you, Henry the Red,
wage war on us!Copy !req
102. Charlatan!
Aah!Copy !req
103. It was you who first turned
your swords on us!Copy !req
104. And this evil has befouled
my people as well!Copy !req
105. Your people are no better
than the foul corruption...Copy !req
106. that lies in the bowels of that pit.Copy !req
107. Right, you're no better.Copy !req
108. May God
have mercy upon your souls.Copy !req
109. God's name!
What hell-spawned thing lurks there?Copy !req
110. Into the pit with those
bloodthirsty sons of 'hores!Copy !req
111. No! No!Copy !req
112. No, no! Aah!Copy !req
113. Oh! Heavenly God!Copy !req
114. He's escaping!Copy !req
115. - Hold to!
- Hold him!Copy !req
116. - Who's next?
- It's him. Aye, he trembles!Copy !req
117. They don't look
so clever now, do they?Copy !req
118. He's frightened!
He's frightened white!Copy !req
119. Whoa! Whoa!Copy !req
120. Wait a minute. Hold it.Copy !req
121. W-Wait a minute.
You gotta understand, man.Copy !req
122. I never even saw
these assholes before.Copy !req
123. - Get him in there!
- He trembles!Copy !req
124. He's begging!Copy !req
125. - What are you waitin' for?
- Henry!Copy !req
126. You gotta tell him
you don't know me.Copy !req
127. We never met.
Tell him.Copy !req
128. I do not think
he'll listen, lad.Copy !req
129. Look.Copy !req
130. I'm tellin' you,
you got the wrong guy.Copy !req
131. I'm tellin' you,
you got the wrong guy.Copy !req
132. Uh, wh-whoa.Copy !req
133. - Aah!Copy !req
134. How do you like the pit?
Isn't the pit wonderful?Copy !req
135. - Hai-ya!Copy !req
136. - Why, you--Copy !req
137. Ha!Copy !req
138. Spikes.Copy !req
139. Hey! He says, "Spikes."
Give him spikes!Copy !req
140. Make way!
Strange one!Copy !req
141. - Strange one!Copy !req
142. Yaaah!Copy !req
143. Yes!Copy !req
144. Damn you.
Damn you!Copy !req
145. You know,
your shoelace is untied.Copy !req
146. All right.Copy !req
147. Who wants some?Copy !req
148. Who's next, huh?Copy !req
149. How 'bout it?Copy !req
150. Who wants some, huh?Copy !req
151. Who wants
to have a little?Copy !req
152. You.
You want some more?Copy !req
153. Huh?Copy !req
154. You want a little?Copy !req
155. Do ya? Do ya?
Do ya want some more?Copy !req
156. Huh? Huh?Copy !req
157. Now get on those horses
and get outta here.Copy !req
158. Let 'em go!Copy !req
159. - Halt!Copy !req
160. Thank you, generous hosts!Copy !req
161. Sword boy!Copy !req
162. For that arrogance,
I shall see you dead.Copy !req
163. Yeah.Copy !req
164. All right, you primitive screwheads,
listen up.Copy !req
165. See this?Copy !req
166. This is my boom stick!Copy !req
167. It's a 12-gauge,
double-barreled Remington.Copy !req
168. S-mart's
top of the line.Copy !req
169. You can find this in
the sporting goods department.Copy !req
170. That's right. This sweet baby
was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan.Copy !req
171. Retails for about $109.95.Copy !req
172. It's got a walnut stock,
cobalt blue steel and a hair trigger.Copy !req
173. That's right, shop smart.Copy !req
174. Shop S-mart.
You got that?Copy !req
175. - Yes, sir. Right.
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
176. Now I swear,Copy !req
177. the next one
of you primates...Copy !req
178. even touches me--Copy !req
179. Now, let's talk about
how I get back home.Copy !req
180. I prithee to forgive me,
m'lord.Copy !req
181. I believed thee
one of Henry's men.Copy !req
182. First you wanna kill me,
now you wanna kiss me.Copy !req
183. Blow.Copy !req
184. So what's the deal?
Can you send me back or not?Copy !req
185. Only the Necronomicon
has the power.Copy !req
186. An unholy book
which we also require.Copy !req
187. Within its pages are passages
that can send you back to your time.Copy !req
188. Only you, The Promised One,
can quest for it.Copy !req
189. I don't want your book.
I don't want your bullshit.Copy !req
190. Just send me back to my own time.
Pronto, today, chop--Copy !req
191. - You shall die!Copy !req
192. You shall never obtain
the Necronomicon!Copy !req
193. We shall feast
upon your souls!Copy !req
194. Oh!Copy !req
195. - It's a trick. Get an axe.Copy !req
196. - Guards, stop it!Copy !req
197. - Catch the witch!
- Death to the witch!Copy !req
198. Have some porridge!Copy !req
199. Ah, my eyes! I'm blind!
Oh, God, I'm blind!Copy !req
200. No, don't!Copy !req
201. Yo, she-bitch.Copy !req
202. - Let's go.Copy !req
203. Ya-hoo!Copy !req
204. Hee-ya!Copy !req
205. - Hee-ya!Copy !req
206. If the Necronomicon fell into
the hands of the Deadites,Copy !req
207. all mankind will be consumed
by this evil.Copy !req
208. Now will thou
quest for the book?Copy !req
209. That one.Copy !req
210. Hee-ya!Copy !req
211. Groovy.Copy !req
212. What's the matter?
You raised in a barn? Shut the door.Copy !req
213. Probably was raised in a barn
with all the other primitives.Copy !req
214. The wise men say that
thou art The Promised One.Copy !req
215. 'Tis said that thou wilt journey
for the book to help us,Copy !req
216. and that thou wilt lead
our people against the evil.Copy !req
217. The only reason I'm going
to get the book is to get home.Copy !req
218. I believe that thou wilt be
leaving in the morning.Copy !req
219. Don't touch that, please.
Your primitive intellect...Copy !req
220. wouldn't understand
alloys and compositions...Copy !req
221. and things with
molecular structures in the--Copy !req
222. What are you
doin' here anyway?Copy !req
223. I wanted to say
that all of my--Copy !req
224. all of my hopes and
prayers go with you,Copy !req
225. and I made this
for thee.Copy !req
226. Good, I could use
a horse blanket.Copy !req
227. Gimme some sugar, baby.Copy !req
228. Hyah! Come on, boy!Copy !req
229. Hyah!Copy !req
230. Hyah!Copy !req
231. - Steady now. Whoa.Copy !req
232. What? What is it?Copy !req
233. This path will lead you
to an unholy place.Copy !req
234. A cemetery. There,
the Necronomicon awaits.Copy !req
235. When thou retrievest the book from
its cradle, you must recite the words,Copy !req
236. "Klaatu barada nikto."Copy !req
237. Klaatu barada nikto.
Okay.Copy !req
238. Well, repeat them.Copy !req
239. - Klaatu barada nikto.
- Again!Copy !req
240. I got it, I got it!
I know your damn words, all right?Copy !req
241. Now you get this straight,
the both of you.Copy !req
242. If I get that book,
you send me back.Copy !req
243. After that,
I'm history. Hyah!Copy !req
244. What is it, boy?Copy !req
245. Hyah! Come on!Copy !req
246. Hyah! Come on!Copy !req
247. Aah! Come on!Copy !req
248. Come on, you!Copy !req
249. Hey, let's scare
this guy good! Come on.Copy !req
250. Ramming speed!Copy !req
251. Ooh!Copy !req
252. Ready, aim, fire!Copy !req
253. - Ooh!
- Get away!Copy !req
254. Whoa!Copy !req
255. - Oh, God! Oh, no!
- Oh--Copy !req
256. - Oh!
- You lousy little--Copy !req
257. Oh, no!Copy !req
258. Ooh, no! Oh, my!Copy !req
259. Uh, ooh, aah!Copy !req
260. - Lift up!
- Oh, ooh-hoo-ha!Copy !req
261. - Ooh, aah!Copy !req
262. Aah-ha-ha!Copy !req
263. Heh heh heh-heh--
Whoa!Copy !req
264. London Bridge
is falling downCopy !req
265. Falling downCopy !req
266. Falling downCopy !req
267. - My fair lady
Ha!Copy !req
268. Ooh!Copy !req
269. Is he up?
How is he?Copy !req
270. Hey,
he's gettin' up.Copy !req
271. Hmm,
what a horrible nightmare.Copy !req
272. Wait a minute.
Oh, God!Copy !req
273. I can't move!Copy !req
274. Aah!Copy !req
275. - And go!
- Open wide.Copy !req
276. Geronimo!Copy !req
277. - Hooray!
- Hooray!Copy !req
278. - Ah!Copy !req
279. Okay, little fella.
How about some hot chocolate, huh?Copy !req
280. How'd you like
the taste of that, huh?Copy !req
281. How'd you like the ta--Copy !req
282. Aah, uh, ugh, oh!Copy !req
283. Ah! Oh!Copy !req
284. Let me out!Copy !req
285. Oh, dear God,
it's growing bigger!Copy !req
286. Ooh, ooh, I'm blind.
I'm blind. Bleh.Copy !req
287. Yip, yip, yah!Copy !req
288. Oh, hey! Where are you takin' me?
Uh, oh, ooh!Copy !req
289. What are you?Copy !req
290. Are you me?Copy !req
291. I'm bad Ash,
and you're good Ash.Copy !req
292. You're goody
little two-shoes.Copy !req
293. You're goody little two-shoes
goody little two-shoesCopy !req
294. Little goody two-shoes
Little goody two-shoesCopy !req
295. Little goody two-shoes
Little goody two-shoes
Little goody two-shoesCopy !req
296. - Ow!Copy !req
297. Little goody two-shoesCopy !req
298. Aah!Copy !req
299. Good, bad.
I'm the guy with the gun.Copy !req
300. That'll teach you.
Yeah, that'll teach you.Copy !req
301. You shall never retrieve
the Necronomicon!Copy !req
302. You'll die in the graveyard
before you get it!Copy !req
303. - What's that you got on your face?
- Huh?Copy !req
304. I'll come back for you!Copy !req
305. - Hyah!Copy !req
306. Come on, boy!Copy !req
307. Hyah!Copy !req
308. Three books?Copy !req
309. Wait a minute.
Hold it.Copy !req
310. Nobody said anything
about three books.Copy !req
311. L-Like what
am I supposed to do?Copy !req
312. Take one book,
or all books, or, or what?Copy !req
313. Well.Copy !req
314. Whoa. Wrong book.Copy !req
315. Ow!Copy !req
316. Aah! Ooh!Copy !req
317. Ooh! Ooh, you!Copy !req
318. I'll get back to you.Copy !req
319. Well...Copy !req
320. Well...Copy !req
321. seems fairly obvious.Copy !req
322. Ooh, wait a minute. The words.
All right, all right, all right.Copy !req
323. Say the words.Copy !req
324. Klaatu... barada...Copy !req
325. Iu--Copy !req
326. necktie.Copy !req
327. Nectar, n-- nickel.Copy !req
328. Noodle.
It's an "N" word.Copy !req
329. It's definitely
an "N" word.Copy !req
330. It's definitely
an "N" word.Copy !req
331. Klaatu barada n--Copy !req
332. Okay, then.
That's it.Copy !req
333. Hey. Wait a minute.Copy !req
334. Everything's cool.
I said the words. I did!Copy !req
335. - Oh! Oh! No, wait! Oh!Copy !req
336. You people, seek cover!
To the parapet!Copy !req
337. Seek your children!Copy !req
338. - Steady the horses!Copy !req
339. Something's wrong.
Something's amiss.Copy !req
340. Where'd you go?
Where'd you g--Copy !req
341. Oh, oh, aah!Copy !req
342. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.Copy !req
343. Ow! I'll crush ya!
I'll mash ya into paste, you bony cre--Copy !req
344. - Hyah!Copy !req
345. I'm through being their garbage boy.
I did my part.Copy !req
346. Now I want back,
like in the deal. Hyah!Copy !req
347. I... live...Copy !req
348. again.Copy !req
349. There! The Promised One!
The Promised One's returned!Copy !req
350. Raise the portcullis!Copy !req
351. Welcome home!
We're saved!Copy !req
352. - The Necronomicon!
- Truly he is The Promised One!Copy !req
353. - He's brought the Necronomicon!
- How are ya?Copy !req
354. - He's brought the book!
- Yeah, great, great.Copy !req
355. - Good boy!
- Get the fuck outta my face!Copy !req
356. The Necronomicon, quickly.
Did you bring the Necronomicon?Copy !req
357. - Yeah, it's, it's just that--
- Just what?Copy !req
358. Nothin'.
Here.Copy !req
359. Now send me back.
Like in the deal.Copy !req
360. When you removed the Necronomicon from
the cradle, did you speak the words?Copy !req
361. - Yeah, basically.
- Did you speak the exact words?Copy !req
362. Look, maybe I didn't say every
single, little tiny syllable,Copy !req
363. - no, but basically I said 'em, yeah.
- Dung-eating fool!Copy !req
364. Thou hast doomed us all!
When thou misspoke the words,Copy !req
365. the army
of the dead awoke!Copy !req
366. Now, whoa, whoa,
right there, spinach chin.Copy !req
367. You said you could clean this mess up
once you got that book.Copy !req
368. You said there was a passage that could
get rid of this thing and send me back.Copy !req
369. It's true, the book still possesses
the power to send you back,Copy !req
370. but to us
it is useless!Copy !req
371. The evil has a terrible hunger
for the Necronomicon,Copy !req
372. and it will come here
to get it.Copy !req
373. We had a deal.Copy !req
374. You wanted the damn book,
I got it for ya.Copy !req
375. I did my part,
now you send me back.Copy !req
376. Very well.
As we are men of our word,Copy !req
377. we shall honor
our bargain.Copy !req
378. The wise men shall return you
to your own time.Copy !req
379. Yeah?Copy !req
380. - I thought he was the one.
- Yeah, right.Copy !req
381. 'Cause that
was the deal.Copy !req
382. So when do you think
we can...Copy !req
383. start with all
the thing and the--Copy !req
384. He's nothin'
but a traitor, he is!Copy !req
385. When do you
think we can start...Copy !req
386. with all the, uh,
ceremony and, uh--Copy !req
387. Agh! Wretched excuse
for a man!Copy !req
388. The wise men were fools
to trust in you.Copy !req
389. I knew he couldn't be trusted.Copy !req
390. We put our trust in him.Copy !req
391. I still believe
that thou wilt help us.Copy !req
392. Oh, Sheila,
don't you get it? It's over.Copy !req
393. I didn't have
what it took.Copy !req
394. So long.Copy !req
395. But what of the things
that we've shared?Copy !req
396. What of all the sweet words
that you spoke in private?Copy !req
397. Aw, well--Copy !req
398. Well, that's just what we call
"pillow talk," baby. That's all.Copy !req
399. It was more than that.Copy !req
400. I still have faith
in thee.Copy !req
401. I still believe that thou
wilt stay and save us. I--Copy !req
402. Coward!Copy !req
403. - Look there! A demon!Copy !req
404. Ash! Help me!Copy !req
405. Sheila!Copy !req
406. Yaaah!Copy !req
407. - Shoot the bloody thing!
- Hold your arms! You'll hit the girl!Copy !req
408. Uh, me sword!Copy !req
409. Yaaah!Copy !req
410. Damn you!Copy !req
411. Dig, damn you!
Dig faster!Copy !req
412. I shall command every
worm-infested son-of-a-bitch...Copy !req
413. - that ever died in battle!
- Thank you, sir!Copy !req
414. - You there, handsomely now.
- Aye, my liege.Copy !req
415. We shall storm their castle
and get my book!Copy !req
416. Hoist,
you damnable varlets!Copy !req
417. Welcome back
to the land of the living.Copy !req
418. Now pick up a shovel
and get digging!Copy !req
419. - Bring on the wench!Copy !req
420. - Gimme some sugar, baby.Copy !req
421. Well.Copy !req
422. Now, ain't you
a sweet little thing?Copy !req
423. Don't touch me,
you foul thing!Copy !req
424. Come on.Copy !req
425. That's it.Copy !req
426. We got plans for you, girly-girl.
Move!Copy !req
427. Have you lost your bones,
you decomposed gobs? Get thee hence!Copy !req
428. A scout approaches!Copy !req
429. - Whoa!
- Hey, get his horse.Copy !req
430. Arise.Copy !req
431. My lord, an army of the dead
gather in the wilderness.Copy !req
432. - They approach the castle.
- How far from here?Copy !req
433. But two days' ride.Copy !req
434. These winged ones
are only the first of them.Copy !req
435. Perhaps we should leave
as soon as possible.Copy !req
436. - We could be safe in the mountains.
- Yes, the mountains.Copy !req
437. - We must flee!
- It is written. It has been foretold.Copy !req
438. - They'll take our souls.
They'll swallow our souls.
- I'm afraid!Copy !req
439. - I don't want to die!Copy !req
440. That's it.
Go ahead and run.Copy !req
441. Run home
and cry to mama!Copy !req
442. Me?
I'm through runnin'!Copy !req
443. I say we stay here
and fight it out.Copy !req
444. Are all men from
the future loudmouthed braggarts?Copy !req
445. Nope. Just me, baby.
Just me.Copy !req
446. How will we fight an army of the dead
at our castle walls?Copy !req
447. How will you fight that?
More words?Copy !req
448. Most of our people
have already fled.Copy !req
449. We are but 60 men.Copy !req
450. Then we'll get Henry the Red
and his men to fight with us.Copy !req
451. Now... who's with me?Copy !req
452. I'll stand by ya.Copy !req
453. You can count on my steel.Copy !req
454. I'll offer up my courage.Copy !req
455. - Me sword's by his side.
- I'm with you!Copy !req
456. - I'll bend my bow to your will, sir.
- And mine!Copy !req
457. We'll stay!Copy !req
458. Hail! Hail!
Hail! Hail!Copy !req
459. Hail! Hail! Hail!Copy !req
460. Well, my dear,Copy !req
461. say hello to the boys.Copy !req
462. - There's a sight for sore bones.Copy !req
463. I may be bad,Copy !req
464. but I feel... good.Copy !req
465. - Who rules?
- To you, my lord.Copy !req
466. You, sir. To the castle.Copy !req
467. The castle!Copy !req
468. Hurry up now.Copy !req
469. The castle! Let's push.Copy !req
470. Heave-ho.
Good. Yeah.Copy !req
471. Ha! Hoo!Copy !req
472. Hai-ya!Copy !req
473. Ha! Hoo! Hai-ya!Copy !req
474. Yeah!Copy !req
475. They're coming!
The Deadites approach!Copy !req
476. There's so damn
many of 'em.Copy !req
477. Maybe--Copy !req
478. Just maybe my boys can stop 'em
from gettin' the book.Copy !req
479. Yeah.Copy !req
480. And maybe
I'm a Chinese jet pilot.Copy !req
481. Battle stations! All right, get those
rocks up, mister, on the double!Copy !req
482. Ready the catapults!
By God, let's give 'em what for.Copy !req
483. And halt!Copy !req
484. - Company, halt!
- Company, halt!Copy !req
485. I'll rip his balls off.Copy !req
486. Bring forth the scout!Copy !req
487. Whoa.Copy !req
488. My lord, we are positioned
on both fronts.Copy !req
489. Fine, fine, fine.
Where are they keeping my book?Copy !req
490. There, my lord,
beyond the wall.Copy !req
491. The parapet. That would be
the most likely place.Copy !req
492. Right. Bring me forth
into that castle!Copy !req
493. - Forward!
- Forward!Copy !req
494. Cry havoc and let loose
the dogs of war!Copy !req
495. To the castle!Copy !req
496. Fly, mate! Fly!Copy !req
497. Death to the mortals!Copy !req
498. Arrows.Copy !req
499. Torch boy!Copy !req
500. Steady.Copy !req
501. Fire!Copy !req
502. - Advance, you beasts, advance!Copy !req
503. Oh! Oh!Copy !req
504. Yeah, baby!Copy !req
505. - All right!Copy !req
506. Sire, there's a second division
approaching from the south.Copy !req
507. Ram the gate!Copy !req
508. Catapults.Copy !req
509. Catapults out!Copy !req
510. Yeah!Copy !req
511. Fire!Copy !req
512. Look there!Copy !req
513. Yeah!Copy !req
514. - Seek cover!
- Watch out!Copy !req
515. - Make way!Copy !req
516. Oh!Copy !req
517. Oh, you miserable
bags of bones!Copy !req
518. Pick yourselves up
and sally fo...Copy !req
519. Sally for--Copy !req
520. Sally forth.Copy !req
521. Come on,
you miserable wretches.Copy !req
522. Lower.Copy !req
523. Heave!Copy !req
524. Forward!Copy !req
525. Buttress the door, now!Copy !req
526. Hold fast!Copy !req
527. - Back!
- Stone these creatures!Copy !req
528. Damn you!Copy !req
529. Ooh, that's gotta hurt.Copy !req
530. Go, you creatures!
Arrows!Copy !req
531. Load!
Fire!Copy !req
532. - Heave! Put your...Copy !req
533. backbones into it.Copy !req
534. We've broken through!
The castle is ours!Copy !req
535. Kill the mortals!Copy !req
536. - Get it achieved and fast!Copy !req
537. Their ranks are broken!
Have at them!Copy !req
538. Ha! Hoo! Hai-ya!
Ha! Hoo! Hai-ya!Copy !req
539. Pull back!
Man the parapet!Copy !req
540. Protect the book.Copy !req
541. God save us all.Copy !req
542. Say hello
to the 21st century. Yeah!Copy !req
543. Come on!
I got plenty for everybody!Copy !req
544. Look out!Copy !req
545. - Whoo!Copy !req
546. - Bye-bye.Copy !req
547. It's the one in the cart we want!
Get him!Copy !req
548. - Yaaah!Copy !req
549. Yaaaaah!Copy !req
550. Sheila?Copy !req
551. - We've secured the courtyard, my lord.Copy !req
552. Excellent.Copy !req
553. Ooh! Hey! Look out!Copy !req
554. - Hey, you're mine, sweetie.Copy !req
555. Get off of her!Copy !req
556. Gotcha!Copy !req
557. Damn you!Copy !req
558. - My lord.
- Stay with the book.Copy !req
559. The book's where we are.Copy !req
560. The Red! The Red!
Duke Henry and his men have come!Copy !req
561. Blows, blood...Copy !req
562. and death!Copy !req
563. Duke Henry! Ha-ha!Copy !req
564. Die!Copy !req
565. Onward, valiant cousins!
Their ranks are broke!Copy !req
566. Oops!Copy !req
567. Hello!Copy !req
568. There ya go.Copy !req
569. The book is mine.Copy !req
570. I'll cut your gizzard out.Copy !req
571. - Hey, where'd he go?Copy !req
572. Come to papa.Copy !req
573. Get him!Copy !req
574. Oh, you crazy bitch,
get off of me!Copy !req
575. Ha!Copy !req
576. Right.Copy !req
577. You found me beautiful once.Copy !req
578. Honey, you got real ugly.Copy !req
579. There we are.Copy !req
580. So you wanna
play rough, eh?Copy !req
581. Okay.Copy !req
582. Oh.Copy !req
583. All right, all right.Copy !req
584. Prepare to die!Copy !req
585. You're going down!Copy !req
586. - I'm goin' up.
- I'm comin' for ya.Copy !req
587. Come on!Copy !req
588. - Oops. Excuse me.
- Come on.Copy !req
589. All right!Copy !req
590. You're pissin' me off,
you ugly son of a bitch!Copy !req
591. I'll spoil
those good looks.Copy !req
592. Back-stabber!Copy !req
593. Hold still!Copy !req
594. Tallyho!Copy !req
595. - We can't hold the battlements!Copy !req
596. We will hold!
We must protect the book!Copy !req
597. I got a bone
to pick with you.Copy !req
598. Come on.Copy !req
599. Slice that gizzard open.Copy !req
600. Now you're mine.Copy !req
601. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.Copy !req
602. At last, the book.Copy !req
603. I possess the Necronomicon.Copy !req
604. I've crushed your pathetic army.
Now I'll have my vengeance.Copy !req
605. Buckle up, bonehead,
'cause you're goin' for a ride.Copy !req
606. Huh?Copy !req
607. Victory's ours!Copy !req
608. - Retreat! Retreat!
- Let's get the hell out of here!Copy !req
609. - Oh.
- Tricky ones, they are.Copy !req
610. If it's a fight you want--Copy !req
611. Watch 'em, lads.
They're an untrust worthy lot.Copy !req
612. Move yourself, lad!Copy !req
613. - Your hand, man. Godspeed!
- Hey, Henry. Yeah, nice goin'.Copy !req
614. - My lady.
- Arthur.Copy !req
615. - Well won, my friend.
- We've won the day.Copy !req
616. - Yeah!
- Yeah!Copy !req
617. We're brothers
and a new kingdom shall be born!Copy !req
618. The book tells us that
once you drink this liquid...Copy !req
619. and recite the words,
"Klaatu barada nikto,"Copy !req
620. thou shalt awaken
in thine own time.Copy !req
621. Remember, you must
recite the words exactly.Copy !req
622. Hyah!Copy !req
623. I thought about staying.Copy !req
624. They offered me the chance to lead them,
to teach them, to-- to be king.Copy !req
625. - Uh-huh.
- But my place is here.Copy !req
626. - So I swallowed the juice,
said the words and here I am.
- Did you say...Copy !req
627. the words
right this time?Copy !req
628. Well, maybe I didn't say every
single, tiny little syllable, no,Copy !req
629. but basically
I said 'em, yeah.Copy !req
630. Basically.Copy !req
631. You know that story about
how you could've been king?Copy !req
632. I, uh, I think
it's kind of cute.Copy !req
633. Yeah.Copy !req
634. - Die!Copy !req
635. Lady, I'm afraid I'm gonna have
to ask you to leave the store.Copy !req
636. Who the hell are you?Copy !req
637. Name's Ash.Copy !req
638. Housewares.Copy !req
639. I'll swallow your soul.Copy !req
640. Come get some.Copy !req
641. Sure, I could've
stayed in the past.Copy !req
642. Could've even been king.Copy !req
643. But in my own way,Copy !req
644. I am king.Copy !req
645. Hail to the king, baby.Copy !req