1. So this is truly exciting...
Copy !req
2. Two by one equals...
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3. Ah, Andy — you could
come up here, please?
Copy !req
4. Ahhh...
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5. Help out Mr. Puckov?
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6. Oh... Andy.
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7. Andy?
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8. Oh! Ahh!
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9. - Ah! Ah!
- Mmmm.
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10. Oh, Mr. Puckov.
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11. Oh, I want it.
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12. So bad I can taste it!
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13. Oh, teach me, Mr. P.
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14. Oh yeah, oh yeah.
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15. Ohhh yeah, yeah yeah.
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16. Oh, Mr. Puckov.
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17. Show me how it's done.
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18. Oh! Yeah!
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19. Fill my virgin hole!
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20. Oh.
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21. Ooooo, Mr. Puckov.
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22. You're so raw!
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23. Ma!
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24. Did you eat all my
cucumbers again?
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25. Can you knock?
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26. Well I'm sorry, sweetie.
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27. But every time I go to
make a garden salad...
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28. my vegetables vanish.
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29. I ironed your cap
and gown for you.
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30. We are so darn proud of you!
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31. Thanks, Mom.
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32. Oh, well... what
happened to your gerbil?
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33. Oh, ah, Sparky,
he... ran away.
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34. Oh.
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35. It's laundry day, Andy.
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36. I need everything dirty.
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37. Oh.
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38. Ready for graduation, son?
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39. Hey, hun — there's
your cucumber.
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40. Dear Lord!
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41. No, no hun,
that's just a...
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42. shrink wrap they put on
at the supermarket.
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43. Is that not right?
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44. Yes.
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45. Hey, there's my
needle-nosed pliers!
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46. Ahhhhh!
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47. Mommie... Dad.
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48. Now calm down.
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49. Now stop it.
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50. You'll just make
yourself sick.
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51. Okay!
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52. Let's just go outside-
this is a man's thing, okay?
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53. Could you get out
of here, please!
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54. Let's just step out here,
and I'll get you some
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55. nitroglycerin, okay?
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56. We'll watch that
Lawrence Welk DVD.
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57. AHHH!
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58. Well, I guess that's
life with a gay son.
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59. Woo!
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60. Your graduation speech
was awesome, Griff.
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61. I was so proud!
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62. I could always do better.
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63. You're the
Valedictorian, goober!
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64. Congrats on your baseball
scholarship, dude.
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65. Thanks, man.
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66. Welcome to
adulthood, children.
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67. Yay!
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68. Muah! Muah!
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69. So, who's gettin' laid at Muffler's
graduation party tonight?
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70. Well, Mr. Puckov said
he might drop by,
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71. and I'm technically not
his student anymore...
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72. so this could
be my big night.
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73. Heads up, here he comes.
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74. Oh, hello, Boys.
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75. Hearty congratulations.
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76. Thanks, Mr. P.
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77. And I just wanted to say,
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78. that I'm really
gonna miss your ass...
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79. your class this year.
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80. And we were just wondering
whether or not you're going...
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81. to be coming on any of us
tonight 'cause I'm gonna...
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82. be coming and I would really
like it if you came, too.
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83. We shall see.
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84. Some schools get an
exchange student
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85. we get an exchange teacher.
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86. Where the heck is
Tartaristan anyway?
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87. The Republic of Tartaristan
is a Muslim state...
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88. in the former Soviet Union.
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89. I believe the
capital is Kazan.
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90. - Hey, Daisy!
- Hey.
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91. Forward, forward, good girl!
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92. Have you told her you're
quote bi unquote yet?
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93. No way!
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94. You know I don't like labels.
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95. Besides, it would
break her heart.
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96. So shhhh, here she comes.
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97. - Hey, Daze.
- Hi, Nico.
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98. I finished designing
your gown for the party.
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99. We are gonna make, like,
SUCH a cute couple.
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100. Okay, doll.
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101. Love ya, call ya,
drive safe.
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102. News flash, boys.
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103. Looks like I'm finally
takin' the plunge.
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104. Do tell.
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105. I've got a date and
he is totally my type.
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106. Oh?
And how do you define that?
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107. I'm an ASSMAN, son.
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108. Asses aren't all they're
cracked up to be.
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109. I personally prefer
a prodigious penis.
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110. You outta know, Griff.
I remember from 8th grade,
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111. yours is like WOW.
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112. What the FUUUUUCK!
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113. How you doin?
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114. You boys still talkin' 'bout
pussy, insteada gettin' it?
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115. Ha, ha, ha.
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116. Might wanna return those
shriveled-up skin flutes...
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117. of yours for a refund if you're
not gonna fuckin' use 'em.
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118. Hello, I've used mine.
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119. I mean... like for
blowjobs-n-stuff.
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120. Wake up, kids — Fact is, none
of ya has done "the big A."
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121. The what?
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122. ANAL dudes.
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123. You know, sausage-smugglin',
fudge-packin'...
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124. the old Hershey highway.
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125. Ewww!
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126. Well, my date's the captain
of the St. Mary's football team.
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127. And I think he's a bottom.
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128. All Catholics are
bottoms, my friend.
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129. Take it from the Muff-ster.
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130. I expect all of you
booty-virgins...
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131. will be coming to
my party tonight?
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132. We'll be there.
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133. Mmm-hmm.
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134. Ah, ha-ha...
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135. She is so full of shit.
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136. She probably never even
touched a... triangle.
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137. Ewww!
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138. I guess Muffler's
right though.
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139. Scientifically speaking,
we're all still virgins.
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140. Guess I don't have to feel
like a TOTAL loser, then.
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141. Well, at least the rest of
us have SOME experience.
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142. Oh, thanks Jarod,
that feels nice.
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143. Can we talk about
something else please?
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144. Coming-out stories
are so passè bourgeois!
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145. This isn't about coming-out,
we're WAY past that.
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146. The topic is anus copulus.
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147. Hi-ya kids.
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148. Hi, Mrs. Hunter.
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149. Gosh darn, that Wal-Mart sure
does have a nice photo shop.
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150. If ya ask me, you and Daisy
shoulda been voted...
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151. King and Queen of the Prom.
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152. Mom!
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153. Oh!
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154. Don't you think it's about
time you came out to her?
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155. Are you kidding me?
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156. She doesn't have a clue.
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157. What about your
unique fashion sense?
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158. Your obsession
with gay cinema?
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159. Your lip gloss!
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160. Mom suffers from an acute case
of "Paul Lynde Syndrome."
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161. She just thinks
I'm "special."
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162. Hey, who's Paul Lynde?
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163. Is he hot?
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164. Oh my goodness.
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165. So, Jarod.
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166. Did you ever like... you know, get to
third base... like, finger someone?
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167. Yeah, of course.
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168. So... what's it feel like?
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169. Like warm Quiche Lorraine.
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170. Ohhhh...
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171. Muff-ster! Muff-ster!
Muff-ster! Muffster!
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172. What the fuck!
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173. How you do-in', man?
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174. Ha-ha-HA!
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175. Ladies.
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176. Anything I can do to make
your stay more comfortable...
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177. Hey, thanks for
letting us come, Muffler.
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178. Cindy, you
brought the twins.
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179. Welcome to my maxi-pad.
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180. Attractive garment.
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181. Nice COCK-tail.
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182. It's a Tijuana Sling.
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183. The new cosmo, Kojak.
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184. Mmm. How festive.
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185. Now pull the cork outta
your ass and maybe...
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186. someone will fuck it.
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187. What the fuuuuck!
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188. Who's he?
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189. He's practically perfect.
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190. Yeah, sure.
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191. But what did he
score on the SAT? Heh.
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192. So... whaddaya think?
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193. Isn't Tyler hot?
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194. You're the stud, man.
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195. Yes, sir, he puts the
ZZZZZZZ's in Aberzombie.
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196. What do I care?
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197. He's a PNP power-bottom!
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198. Cool.
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199. What's PNP?
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200. Heck if I know.
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201. Who is that?
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202. Like, that's
Muffler's Grandpa!
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203. Ahsooo... he raise-a Dawn
after she parent die...
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204. in a Humvee accident.
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205. He looks like
the Marlboro Man.
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206. Dude's a fuckin'
GILWAD, girl.
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207. What's a GILWAD. Buffi?
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208. G.I.L.W.A.D.
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209. "Grandpa I'd let
wine and dine me.
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210. pay for bigger
breast implants,
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211. and then fuck them
till I cum silicone."
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212. But this-a too many
letter, Buffi.
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213. Does not-a add up.
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214. I am a cheerleader, Tiki,
not a calculator.
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215. So you're like All-State
baseball, right?
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216. I heard you got a
full ride to UCLA.
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217. Yeah, whatever.
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218. God, you are so
straight-acting.
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219. Mind if I pretend you're
actually straight?
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220. Pretend whatever you want.
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221. Holy moly,
there he is!
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222. Tonight's the night,
I feel it in my bone.
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223. Word on the street is,
Mr. P. likes big shooters.
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224. Legend has it that in
college he had to have his...
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225. stomach pumped after he
serviced the entire golf squad.
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226. Big-time cum whore!
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227. Well I'll give him a
ride he'll never forget.
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228. Yeah!
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229. Say I'm Fuckov.
What would you do to me?
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230. Yeah, but you look
more like Ms. Mann.
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231. Ha ha - yeah, that's funny.
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232. Oooooh. Mr. Puckov -
yeah, you're so butch!
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233. Oh yeah... those strap-on plastic
balls banging against my ass!
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234. Yeah, oh I'm gonna shoot,
oh I'm gonna shoot!
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235. Ooooooohh Mr. Puckov —
I wanna have your BABY!
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236. Ooh, ah, was not talking
about you, Mr. Puckov.
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237. I was talking about a
different Mr. Puckov.
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238. Your... Dad!
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239. Thank you.
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240. Ooh.
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241. So.
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242. You gonna take those off?
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243. Maybe.
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244. Good.
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245. 'Cause I want you inside me.
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246. Ah, no.
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247. I'm allergic to latex.
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248. Bareback me, straight-boy.
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249. - Bleh!
- Ahhhhhhh!
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250. Ah... so much better.
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251. I had it made.
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252. Home free and then he went
and blew chunks all over me!
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253. Every dog has his day, J.
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254. Fortunately, our lives
aren't coming-of-age films...
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255. where everyone magically
gets laid at the climax.
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256. This isn't
American Pie, Mary.
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257. What's a boy gotta do
to get some MAN SNATCH?
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258. Deeper, Billy.
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259. Harder!
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260. I love you, Trena.
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261. What is wrong
with this picture?
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262. Everyone's kickin' it,
'cept us.
Copy !req
263. If the heteros can have
pre-marital intercourse,
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264. we homos should, too.
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265. Hey, why don't you and
Griff just fuck each other?
Copy !req
266. Ewww — no.
Copy !req
267. We're like brothers!
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268. Besides, we're both
exclusive tops.
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269. And regardless, he
is so not my type.
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270. Oh yeah?
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271. What's wrong with me?
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272. Oh! Oh! Yeeeeeeeees!
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273. Plow that PUSSY!
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274. Oh my goodness.
Copy !req
275. Like, thanks, Dawn.
I'll never forget this.
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276. Pleasure's all mine, Suzi.
Copy !req
277. Dawn's awesome!
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278. Thanks for showing
me my G-spot, Dawn.
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279. Anytime, Buffi.
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280. Mmm!
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281. Oh!
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282. My GOD.
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283. Bye.
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284. Bye, Tiki.
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285. Dawn make-a Tiki leaky.
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286. Oooh!
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287. Me love you long time.
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288. Once Dawn strikes,
they ALL go dyke.
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289. Virgins.
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290. What the fuuuck!
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291. What the fuuuck!
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292. Muffler.
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293. She lays half the
cheerleading squad...
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294. and we can't even
cop a hand-job!
Copy !req
295. We're all gonna go to
college... virgins!
Copy !req
296. Brainstorm, boys.
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297. We just need to make a pact.
Copy !req
298. We all get laid before
the end of the summer.
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299. As if we haven't
been trying already.
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300. We don't know
shit about anal.
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301. Maybe we've been taking
the wrong approach.
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302. Maybe what we need...
is someone to teach us.
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303. Certainly logical.
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304. But... who?
Copy !req
305. College guys, older dudes,
men with experience.
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306. Studs who can break us in and
show us how to kick it RIGHT.
Copy !req
307. I'm beginning to
like this idea.
Copy !req
308. Guys our age are sexually and
emotionally immature anyway.
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309. I want a seasoned older
gentleman who can fuck...
Copy !req
310. all night and then
discuss the filmography...
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311. of Shelly Winters in the morning.
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312. Perhaps what you
want is a daddy.
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313. No way, horsecock!
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314. It's just
older men are... HOT!
Copy !req
315. Our very virginity is
at stake here, fellas.
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316. This is it, this summer.
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317. This is our chance to make
all our fantasies come true!
Copy !req
318. YES!
Copy !req
319. First we each need to define
whether we're a top or a bottom.
Copy !req
320. Well, wait... we
have to choose?
Copy !req
321. Well I, for one, am 100% top.
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322. Of course, me too.
Copy !req
323. Who would want anything up
their butthole in the first place?
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324. I hope you're
writing this down.
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325. But... I could be
into a dude, like,
Copy !req
326. you know... taking control.
Copy !req
327. Riding me.
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328. I'm putting you down
as a "submissive top."
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329. Not that I wouldn't consider
something in my back door.
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330. As long as it was small.
Copy !req
331. Like, a finger.
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332. Submissive top,
pinky bottom.
Copy !req
333. Isn't anyone "bottom curious?"
Copy !req
334. What are you
curious about, Andy?
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335. Ohhh... uh, we were
just talkin about...
Copy !req
336. um, if uh, where do you get
your hair done?
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337. Cause my mom is looking
for a new place.
Copy !req
338. Oh, thanks.
Copy !req
339. I highly recommend
WalMart's Beauty Salon.
Copy !req
340. Tell her to ask
for Mr. Lance.
Copy !req
341. He is a genius with
a curling iron...
Copy !req
342. and such a flirt!
Copy !req
343. See!
Copy !req
344. She just doesn't get it.
Copy !req
345. What about you, Griff?
Copy !req
346. Still thinkin'
you're a top-daddy?
Copy !req
347. Yes.
Copy !req
348. But I don't know.
Copy !req
349. I mean, it's all
so theoretical.
Copy !req
350. That leaves you, Andy.
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351. Well I'm a top — of course!
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352. "PUSSYBOY IN DENIAL."
Copy !req
353. Okay, so... we all agree that
we're gonna fulfill the pact...
Copy !req
354. by penetrating a
member of the same sex.
Copy !req
355. What's the deadline?
Copy !req
356. Muffler's Labor Day
Bash makes good sense.
Copy !req
357. That gives us the
entire summer.
Copy !req
358. All in favor?
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359. Aye.
Copy !req
360. Motion's carried.
Copy !req
361. Ready or not,
butt love here we COME!
Copy !req
362. Okay, okay — a little
to the left, honey.
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363. Right there, great.
Copy !req
364. Now zoom out.
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365. I bet you look so handsome!
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366. Who's my daddy?
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367. - Son, I...
- Dad!
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368. Oh, dear Lord!
Copy !req
369. Can you knock?
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370. Oh, jeez.
Copy !req
371. - I was...
- I had...
Copy !req
372. I didn't see anything.
Copy !req
373. Okay.
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374. Whatever it was
you were doing...
Copy !req
375. it's completely normal.
Copy !req
376. What were you doing, anyway?
Copy !req
377. I was... grooming myself.
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378. Is that a gay thing, son?
Copy !req
379. I don't know.
Copy !req
380. Do you shave yourself?
Copy !req
381. - Well...
- No!
Copy !req
382. You don't have
to answer that.
Copy !req
383. Andy... in light of what
happened the other day...
Copy !req
384. I thought that you deserved
an early birthday present.
Copy !req
385. Thank you.
Copy !req
386. Well... open her up?
Copy !req
387. What is it?
Copy !req
388. It's a butt plug.
Copy !req
389. The butt plug,
Andy, is a device,
Copy !req
390. generally made of
polyurethane,
Copy !req
391. used to stimulate
the anal cavity.
Copy !req
392. This, of course, is
the deluxe model.
Copy !req
393. and ah... this is the
starter model, of course,
Copy !req
394. with the handy suction base.
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395. Viola.
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396. "Anal Pleasure and Health"?
Copy !req
397. Oh, Andy.
Copy !req
398. This book was
VERY informative.
Copy !req
399. In fact I took the liberty
of highlighting some of the...
Copy !req
400. passages under the chapter
"Getting to Know Your Sphincter."
Copy !req
401. Oh, oh ewwww.
Copy !req
402. Oh, Andy, Andy Andy.
Copy !req
403. Being the receptive partner
in a homosexual relationship...
Copy !req
404. is nothing to be
ashamed about.
Copy !req
405. Okay?
Copy !req
406. Yeah, thank you.
Copy !req
407. Okay. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Copy !req
408. In fact, this figure here 7.2
demonstrates the remarkable...
Copy !req
409. adaptability of
the human anus.
Copy !req
410. Oh My God!
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411. Look...
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412. Yeah!
Copy !req
413. Okay, Dad - thank you!
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414. That's incredible, isn't it?
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415. What are these?
Copy !req
416. Oh, those are
for your mother.
Copy !req
417. I sure know her size.
Copy !req
418. Okay, I thought this
went very, very well.
Copy !req
419. And if you there is anything else
that you wish to talk about,
Copy !req
420. you feel free to come
knocking on my door,
Copy !req
421. or call me, or even
text message.
Copy !req
422. - Okay?
- Okay.
Copy !req
423. Great it's just been great.
And ah, we'll talk.
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424. Sorry.
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425. Come on, Andy!
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426. Come on now.
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427. You got it, you got it.
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428. Oh yeah.
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429. Strike two!
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430. You can do it, Andy.
Copy !req
431. You must "fuck-us".
Copy !req
432. Go Andy, run, run!
Copy !req
433. Strike three,
you're out!
Copy !req
434. Boo!
Pussy boy!
Copy !req
435. Yo.
Copy !req
436. I'm Beau.
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437. Hey.
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438. Jarod.
Copy !req
439. So... do you pitch or catch?
Copy !req
440. I pitch.
Copy !req
441. How 'bout you?
Copy !req
442. Pitcher, in the streets.
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443. Catcher in the sheets.
Copy !req
444. Strike one.
Copy !req
445. So, what are the chances of us
playing some ball sometime?
Copy !req
446. What are the chances of you
whackin' this ball over that fence?
Copy !req
447. Did you know the male animal
can achieve orgasm...
Copy !req
448. without even stimulating his shaft?
Copy !req
449. Ah, hello - Did YOU know that
Muffler is spreading a rumor...
Copy !req
450. that Mr. Puckov trolls chatroom
under screen name "Rodzilla."
Copy !req
451. HOT!
Copy !req
452. Wish me luck, boys, I just
booked a date with baseball boy.
Copy !req
453. Oh yeah?
Copy !req
454. What's his name, anyway?
Copy !req
455. Biff?
Copy !req
456. Blaine?
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457. BLAND?
Copy !req
458. Beau!
Copy !req
459. And why do you keep
bustin' on him, like that?
Copy !req
460. He's like perfect!
Copy !req
461. Perfectly boring!
Copy !req
462. YIPPEE!
Copy !req
463. I got a response,
I got a response.
Copy !req
464. The internet IS
the way to hook up!
Copy !req
465. Okay, he's a little young
for me, but...
Copy !req
466. He loves Liza with a
ZZZ, and role playing,
Copy !req
467. and investment banking.
Copy !req
468. Ka-ching.
Copy !req
469. Damn!
Copy !req
470. That's almost as
big as Griff's.
Copy !req
471. You okay?
Copy !req
472. I've got a headache.
Copy !req
473. There's aspirin in my
Dad's... medicine cabinet.
Copy !req
474. Where is the soap?
Copy !req
475. Score.
Copy !req
476. Yes!
Copy !req
477. I'm growing!
Copy !req
478. It's stuck!
Copy !req
479. Aaah!
Copy !req
480. What the...?
Copy !req
481. Son!
What is going on?
Copy !req
482. Help!
Copy !req
483. Get it off me!
Copy !req
484. Okay, don't panic.
Copy !req
485. We can do this
together, okay.
Copy !req
486. I'm gonna brace, and
you brace, and you PULL!
Copy !req
487. FUCK!
Copy !req
488. Awwwwwwww!
Copy !req
489. Okay, I have another idea.
Copy !req
490. Now, hold on there - and
I'm gonna smash this bugger!
Copy !req
491. Fire in the hole!
Copy !req
492. FIRE!
Copy !req
493. Aaaaah!
Copy !req
494. Aaaaaaahhh!
Copy !req
495. Aaaaaaaaahhhh!
Copy !req
496. You know, kids... penis length
is nothing to be ashamed about.
Copy !req
497. Dad.
Copy !req
498. I frequently measured my own
penis when I was your age.
Copy !req
499. Matter of fact I still do.
Copy !req
500. But no matter where
I place that ruler,
Copy !req
501. darned if I can
break five inches.
Copy !req
502. So, Jarod. I know what it's
like to feel insecure...
Copy !req
503. about your manhood.
Copy !req
504. Well, it all started back
in my Navy days...
Copy !req
505. you know, showering with
my fellow seamen.
Copy !req
506. Oh my God.
Copy !req
507. Yes, siree... oh boy, we spent
a lot of time in the showers.
Copy !req
508. There was this one sailor...
Copy !req
509. Zeke McGee was his name,
gosh darned if ZZZeke's "snake"...
Copy !req
510. didn't hang down
past his knees.
Copy !req
511. And if I close my eyes
and think about it...
Copy !req
512. I can SMELL it,
like it was yesterday.
Copy !req
513. Do you still keep in
touch with Big ZZZeke?
Copy !req
514. Now that
you mention it...
Copy !req
515. Dad!
Thank you for rescuing Jarod.
Copy !req
516. Now will you please
get out of here.
Copy !req
517. Certainly.
Copy !req
518. But before I go,
I just want to say...
Copy !req
519. that I really enjoyed
our little chat.
Copy !req
520. Oh my goodness.
Copy !req
521. Step, step, PUNCH!
Copy !req
522. Step, step.
Copy !req
523. Bounce... bounce bounce!
Copy !req
524. Step, step, PUNCH!
Copy !req
525. Sweat!
Copy !req
526. Bounce, bounce.
Copy !req
527. Step, step, PUNCH!
Copy !req
528. Down!
Copy !req
529. Bounce, bounce.
Copy !req
530. Step, PUNCH!
Copy !req
531. Arch your backs.
Copy !req
532. Alright alright.
Copy !req
533. Take five, take five,
booty break.
Copy !req
534. My God... she is
such a slavedriver!
Copy !req
535. I know, my ass has
NEVER been tighter.
Copy !req
536. Yo, yo.
Copy !req
537. What's wrong, dawg?
Copy !req
538. I need more maximus
in my gluteus.
Copy !req
539. You lookin' fine to me, Papi.
Copy !req
540. Wassup?
Copy !req
541. Angel.
Copy !req
542. Pleasure to meet you.
I'm Griff.
Copy !req
543. You want a homey
to notice your ass?
Copy !req
544. You gotta work it on OUT.
Copy !req
545. Yo DJ, pump up the volume!
Copy !req
546. Use what you got, dawg.
Copy !req
547. Like what you see, Papi?
Copy !req
548. Indeed.
Copy !req
549. I dance at Bodangles.
Copy !req
550. You want a private lesson...
Copy !req
551. Holla.
Copy !req
552. Right on!
Copy !req
553. Shit!
Copy !req
554. Maybe this isn't my sport.
Copy !req
555. You just need a few pointers.
Copy !req
556. Here, stand behind me.
Copy !req
557. Now, feel how I grip my stick.
Copy !req
558. I could teach you
a thing or two.
Copy !req
559. Mmm-hmmm.
Copy !req
560. Oh!
Copy !req
561. They'll laugh at me.
Copy !req
562. Big time CUM WHORE!
Copy !req
563. They're all gonna
laugh at you!
Copy !req
564. White party,
black party, red party,
Copy !req
565. geez, it all sounds
so sophisticated!
Copy !req
566. Yeah, I got so high
at the last Blue Ball
Copy !req
567. that I woke up with
a glow stick up my ass.
Copy !req
568. It was blue.
Copy !req
569. Ya know, we get you outta
those clothes and into the gym,
Copy !req
570. you'll be
ready to party!
Copy !req
571. My friends call me
"K" by the way.
Copy !req
572. Cool.
Copy !req
573. Is that short for something?
Copy !req
574. Yeah, K-hole.
Copy !req
575. But I'm all past that now.
Copy !req
576. That's probably
for the best.
Copy !req
577. Yeah, these days
it's all about the "G."
Copy !req
578. I beg your pardon?
Copy !req
579. GHB, girlfriend!
Copy !req
580. Whew!
Copy !req
581. You know what?
Copy !req
582. I am an expert at dosing
right up to the limit.
Copy !req
583. Whaddaya know, there's
a Charles Nelson Reilly...
Copy !req
584. marathon on the
Game Show Network!
Copy !req
585. Man, I am WICKED horny!
Copy !req
586. Are you okay?
Copy !req
587. Oh my God!
Copy !req
588. One, two, three, four.
Copy !req
589. It's not working -
it's not working.
Copy !req
590. DO something.
Copy !req
591. What are you DOING?
Copy !req
592. Give me some of that.
I mean, let me try.
Copy !req
593. We're not going to lose another one.
His belt's too tight.
Copy !req
594. He's not breathing, he's not
breathing! Get some air in there!
Copy !req
595. Oh, good Lord - it's
time for defrib.
Copy !req
596. Lube, lube.
Copy !req
597. Plan B - LUBE.
Copy !req
598. Three, two, one - CLEAR!
Copy !req
599. Muthafucker!
Copy !req
600. Holy shit, it worked.
Copy !req
601. Mom?
Copy !req
602. Dad?
Copy !req
603. Anyone home?
Copy !req
604. Hey, little guy.
Copy !req
605. Son!
Copy !req
606. It's not what it looks like!
Copy !req
607. Andy?
Copy !req
608. - Ooohh!
- Ahhhhh!
Copy !req
609. Don't overreact.
I'm sure there's an explanation.
Copy !req
610. Oh my GOD!
Copy !req
611. Mommie, I'm so sorry!
Copy !req
612. I'm not mad at you,
I'm mad at the CRUMBS!
Copy !req
613. This is not good,
it's not CLEAN!
Copy !req
614. Mom?
Copy !req
615. I didn't hear you.
Copy !req
616. You didn't come home.
Copy !req
617. What's going on?
Copy !req
618. I think...
Copy !req
619. I like guys.
Copy !req
620. DUH!
Copy !req
621. What took you so long?
Copy !req
622. I was sure you led an
"alternative lifestyle"...
Copy !req
623. the first time you did Madonna.
Copy !req
624. I mean, cripe, how many three
year-olds can say...
Copy !req
625. they've performed her entire
"Blonde Ambition" concert?
Copy !req
626. Oh, "Strike a pose!"
Copy !req
627. Remember?
Copy !req
628. Gotta admit though, I did
start to suspect a lot earlier.
Copy !req
629. Oh, see how you already had
that little "swish" in your step?
Copy !req
630. Oh yeah, you were always
Mommie's "special boy."
Copy !req
631. There you are at your
first rock concert.
Copy !req
632. Carol Channing was
on fire that night!
Copy !req
633. Oh, and that's the time you
dressed up like Karen Black...
Copy !req
634. in Airport '75 when
we flew to Florida.
Copy !req
635. "There's nobody
flying the plane!"
Copy !req
636. Okay, okay!
I get it!
Copy !req
637. Come on, get in!
Copy !req
638. GET WET!
Copy !req
639. I'm getting a start
on my summer reading.
Copy !req
640. Hey, cut it out!
Copy !req
641. No, Jarod!
Copy !req
642. No!
Copy !req
643. You know I pinned
you yesterday.
Copy !req
644. No!
Copy !req
645. Wo-ow.
Copy !req
646. Look at those.
Copy !req
647. What?
Copy !req
648. Oh my God.
Copy !req
649. I think I'm gonna fuck Beau.
Copy !req
650. That's excellent.
Copy !req
651. Yeah.
Copy !req
652. We've been gettin'
really close.
Copy !req
653. Almost did it the other day,
but... I stopped.
Copy !req
654. How come?
Copy !req
655. I don't know.
Copy !req
656. I'm scared, Griff.
Copy !req
657. What if I'm not ready?
Copy !req
658. Well, the way I see it...
if you really like him,
Copy !req
659. and you trust him...
then I say, go for it.
Copy !req
660. No one understands
me like you do, Griffin.
Copy !req
661. You're the best.
Copy !req
662. Yeah.
Copy !req
663. Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
664. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Copy !req
665. Totally!
Copy !req
666. BDSM?
Copy !req
667. Of course.
Copy !req
668. Oh yeah!
Copy !req
669. Um... delicious.
Copy !req
670. Oh yeah!
Copy !req
671. What is the emergency?
Copy !req
672. Griff finally tapped into the
security system in the locker room.
Copy !req
673. Straight boy's
about to get naked.
Copy !req
674. Get the fuck out of here, man.
Copy !req
675. Place your bets,
Gentlemen.
Copy !req
676. Ten bucks he's a show-er!
Copy !req
677. Baby's got BACK!
Copy !req
678. Dude, turn around.
Copy !req
679. Deliver the package!
Copy !req
680. You guys are ill,
you know that?
Copy !req
681. How so?
Copy !req
682. Look at yourselves, lusting
after the straight guy...
Copy !req
683. you can never have.
Copy !req
684. Aren't we beyond that?
Copy !req
685. It's so '90's.
Copy !req
686. He dropped the soap!
Copy !req
687. This is so wrong.
Copy !req
688. We have bush.
Copy !req
689. Repeat, we have bush.
Copy !req
690. Oh... my.
Copy !req
691. Can you zoom in on that?
Copy !req
692. Yes, indeed.
Copy !req
693. Our boy's a show-er!
Copy !req
694. Is he doing what I
think he's doing?
Copy !req
695. He's fingering himself!
Copy !req
696. He is a show-er AND a grower.
Copy !req
697. Abercrombie & BITCH!
Copy !req
698. Where the heck is Andy?
Copy !req
699. Andy?
Copy !req
700. Can I still come in?
Copy !req
701. Rodzilla?
Copy !req
702. Oh, what the hell.
Copy !req
703. So, I take it you have
utmost experience?
Copy !req
704. In "the scene?"
Copy !req
705. Oh yeah.
Copy !req
706. I'm an old pro.
Copy !req
707. Cool hammock.
Copy !req
708. Riiiight.
Copy !req
709. I use bicycle horn instead
of safety-words.
Copy !req
710. Excuse me while I go to slip into
something more comFORTable.
Copy !req
711. Right on!
Copy !req
712. What are you wearing?
Copy !req
713. You mentioned water sports...
in case we wanted to take a dip.
Copy !req
714. Marco... polo.
Copy !req
715. C'mon!
Copy !req
716. Go back to
lick-my-hairy-cherry.com!
Copy !req
717. Holy shit.
Copy !req
718. What the fuck?
Copy !req
719. There's a website where you
can tell the master...
Copy !req
720. what you want
to do to the slave...
Copy !req
721. Go to
rodzillas-interactive-dungeon.org.
Copy !req
722. We're busy, Muff-ster.
Copy !req
723. Yeah, sorry to break up
your little circle-jerk,
Copy !req
724. but that's an ORDER!
Copy !req
725. Hey, put that back!
Copy !req
726. Oh... my... God.
Copy !req
727. Heh heh heh...
Copy !req
728. Rodzilla!
Copy !req
729. Mr. Puckov!
Copy !req
730. This is for my
Muslim comrades.
Copy !req
731. Imperialist American SVINE!
Copy !req
732. Ah, NO!
Copy !req
733. Uh!
Copy !req
734. Your "ugly American" scene
is driving me insane.
Copy !req
735. Have another cheeseburger,
capitalist animal!
Copy !req
736. OUCH!
Copy !req
737. Oh my goodness.
Copy !req
738. This is for Kathie Lee.
Copy !req
739. Kelly Ripa, she sucks!
Copy !req
740. Oh, go on, type
something in!
Copy !req
741. Teach him a lesson!
Copy !req
742. Okay, I'm serious,
that's enough.
Copy !req
743. Could we just talk this out?
Copy !req
744. Look, he hears us!
Copy !req
745. Ahhhh!
Copy !req
746. Supersize THIS,
mother-fucker!
Copy !req
747. No. No. No. No. No...
Copy !req
748. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Copy !req
749. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. YES.
Copy !req
750. Holy shit!
Copy !req
751. FIST HIS ASS!
Copy !req
752. What's with the Cwisco?
Copy !req
753. This might take the edge off.
Copy !req
754. Ewwww!
Copy !req
755. Okay, Mr. Puckov?
Copy !req
756. You like my table?
Copy !req
757. My GLASS table?
Copy !req
758. What's he doing?
Copy !req
759. This one's out of my
jurisdiction, kid.
Copy !req
760. Am I supposed
to do something?
Copy !req
761. Ooooo, I love how
you play so dumb.
Copy !req
762. Just close your eyes,
relax, and enjoy...
Copy !req
763. Rodzilla loves
Belgian chocolate...
Copy !req
764. Ahh!
Copy !req
765. You know?
Copy !req
766. Maybe this sex thing is just
not all it's cracked up to be.
Copy !req
767. Maybe I should just hang
it up and become a Priest.
Copy !req
768. Then you could finally
get laid, Sister Mary.
Copy !req
769. Look, love is a
battlefield, kid.
Copy !req
770. If at first we don't succeed,
you just try, try again.
Copy !req
771. Yeah, but we're
running out of time.
Copy !req
772. Summer's almost over!
Copy !req
773. OK who has a hot
prospect for the weekend?
Copy !req
774. I do!
Copy !req
775. Okay.
Copy !req
776. International gay
superstar Richard Hatch...
Copy !req
777. is coming to town
to sign his new book.
Copy !req
778. So, I figured I'd go for it,
cause God knows...
Copy !req
779. no one else around here
appreciates me.
Copy !req
780. Rock on!
Copy !req
781. What about you, Griff?
Copy !req
782. Nada.
Copy !req
783. Maybe the two of us
can check Bodangles.
Copy !req
784. Yeah, sure.
Copy !req
785. Cool.
Copy !req
786. Hey kids, how's it hangin'?
Copy !req
787. Dad, what are you wearing?
Copy !req
788. Oh yeah, the old
man's "got it goin' on!"
Copy !req
789. See ya at sea.
Copy !req
790. That you so much.
It's an honor to meet you.
Copy !req
791. Oh my goodness.
Copy !req
792. It is such an honor
to meet you...
Copy !req
793. without digital censorship.
Copy !req
794. And who should I
make this out to?
Copy !req
795. Mr. Ben Dover.
Copy !req
796. Oh you beast.
Copy !req
797. Hello.
Copy !req
798. Hi.
Copy !req
799. Nice ass, man.
Copy !req
800. How are ya?
Copy !req
801. Precious, mmm.
Copy !req
802. Hey.
Copy !req
803. Good day, gents.
Copy !req
804. Oh.
Copy !req
805. Damn, I'd tap that ass.
It's so tight.
Copy !req
806. Hi.
Copy !req
807. Hey, Griff.
Copy !req
808. Griff, hey.
Copy !req
809. Jarod's mentioned you.
Copy !req
810. Cool.
Copy !req
811. May I speak to
you for a minute?
Copy !req
812. Sure thing.
Copy !req
813. Alone.
Copy !req
814. Be right back.
Copy !req
815. What's goin' on?
Copy !req
816. I thought it was just
going to be you and me.
Copy !req
817. Is there a problem?
Copy !req
818. Summer's almost over, J.
Copy !req
819. Once we go off to college...
Copy !req
820. Wait.
Copy !req
821. Are you jealous?
Copy !req
822. Fuck off.
Copy !req
823. Everything okay?
Copy !req
824. Yeah.
Copy !req
825. Forget it.
Copy !req
826. Griff.
Copy !req
827. Rainbow Video,
Andy speaking.
Copy !req
828. You are not gonna believe
who is in my room right now.
Copy !req
829. Who?
Copy !req
830. Richard Hatch!
Copy !req
831. And I think he
wants to fuck me.
Copy !req
832. I'm about to get anal from
a million dollar bear!
Copy !req
833. Are you like... prepared?
Copy !req
834. Oh yeah.
Copy !req
835. I'm all set.
Copy !req
836. Gotta run, kid.
Copy !req
837. Boy Nico is about
to become a man.
Copy !req
838. Better safe than sorry.
Copy !req
839. Whoa.
Copy !req
840. Woof.
Copy !req
841. That's hot.
Copy !req
842. Daddy likes it.
Copy !req
843. Ohhhh...
Copy !req
844. I forgot my car keys.
Copy !req
845. Oh, no, no, no, no!
I just...
Copy !req
846. What's this?
Copy !req
847. It's a plantain.
Copy !req
848. Okay, doll, love you,
call you, drive safe!
Copy !req
849. Maybe this wasn't
such a great idea.
Copy !req
850. Are you alright?
Copy !req
851. I'm fine.
Copy !req
852. Can you excuse me
for one moment?
Copy !req
853. How old are you?
Copy !req
854. Seventeen.
Copy !req
855. Sorry, kid.
Copy !req
856. WAY past your prime.
Copy !req
857. Whoa!
Copy !req
858. Hey Mr. DJ, gimme a BEAT!
Copy !req
859. Shake your bon-bon!
Copy !req
860. Whoa!
Copy !req
861. Damn boy, you workin'
that shit OUT!
Copy !req
862. Taught him everything
he know, yo!
Copy !req
863. Bubble-butt, bubble-butt,
bubble-butt, bubble-butt!
Copy !req
864. Bubble-butt, bubble-butt
bubble-butt, bubble-butt!
Copy !req
865. They're all gonna
laugh at you!
Copy !req
866. - Rainbow Vid...
- I'm about to explode!
Copy !req
867. Did you take the enema?
Copy !req
868. Yeah, three of them.
Copy !req
869. Oh my God!
Copy !req
870. Fuck this shit.
Copy !req
871. Hey, Andy.
Who's calling?
Copy !req
872. Ahhh... it's a wrong number.
Copy !req
873. Oh my goodness.
Copy !req
874. Richard?
Copy !req
875. Your ass tastes so good.
Copy !req
876. Looks like Little Jarod
likes it too.
Copy !req
877. Little... Jarod?
Copy !req
878. I've waited forever.
Copy !req
879. Dammit!
I fuckin' suck!
Copy !req
880. It's okay.
Copy !req
881. I'll get him back up again.
Copy !req
882. I'm sorry, it's not you.
Copy !req
883. But...
Copy !req
884. Can we try another time?
Copy !req
885. Mmmmm.
Copy !req
886. Please... please, stop!
Copy !req
887. Just take me home.
Copy !req
888. Fine.
Copy !req
889. Mmmm.
Copy !req
890. Jesus!
Copy !req
891. Cu-cuckoo!
Copy !req
892. My eye!
Copy !req
893. Dad?
Copy !req
894. - Dad?
- Yep?
Copy !req
895. Can I ask you a question?
Copy !req
896. Certainly, son.
Copy !req
897. How did you know when you
were ready to have sex?
Copy !req
898. Oh.
Copy !req
899. Uh, well...
Copy !req
900. Unfortunately, my Uncle Earl
made that decision for me.
Copy !req
901. But only you can make
that decision, Andy.
Copy !req
902. Do you think you're ready?
Copy !req
903. Yeah.
Copy !req
904. I mean, a big
part of me does.
Copy !req
905. But I'm petrified
from the neck up.
Copy !req
906. Sounds like you
have your answer.
Copy !req
907. Yeah?
Copy !req
908. Yeah, yeah.
Copy !req
909. Yeah.
Copy !req
910. I think I should hold on
to my cherry for awhile.
Copy !req
911. Good boy.
Copy !req
912. Um, ah... I have
something to tell you.
Copy !req
913. Okay.
Copy !req
914. Daddy's a bi-sexshul.
Copy !req
915. And it's all because of you.
Copy !req
916. Gee, thanks, Dad.
Copy !req
917. No, what I mean is... you gave
me the courage to be "me."
Copy !req
918. But, now Andy, I think
you're not gonna love me anymore.
Copy !req
919. - Dad
- Well, that's what I think.
Copy !req
920. I'm afraid.
Copy !req
921. Oh, Dad, Dad, Dad.
Copy !req
922. Hey, hey, hey.
Copy !req
923. You're still the same person.
Copy !req
924. - I'm still...
- You're still the same person...
Copy !req
925. Still the same?
Copy !req
926. - And I will always love...
- Always?
Copy !req
927. - I will always...
- You, alw...
Copy !req
928. - I will always...
- Alw...
Copy !req
929. - I will always...
- Al...
Copy !req
930. - I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU! Dad!
- You will always love ME?
Copy !req
931. Oh, Andy.
Copy !req
932. I will always love you.
Copy !req
933. Now, stop.
Copy !req
934. I gotta go, kid.
Copy !req
935. I cannot believe I almost
sucked my Dad's dick.
Copy !req
936. Desperate times call for
desperate measures, kid.
Copy !req
937. Maybe you should've done him.
Copy !req
938. I cannot believe a Survivor
winner heard me take a dump.
Copy !req
939. Suck it up, Girls.
Copy !req
940. Looks like my Labor Day
soirèe is gonna be...
Copy !req
941. your last chance to snag
a slice of the butt-pie.
Copy !req
942. Sex, sex, sex, that's all
we're ever talking about!
Copy !req
943. What's so good
about it anyway?
Copy !req
944. You know, I've had more luck
with my right hand
Copy !req
945. and my left index finger.
Copy !req
946. I can't believe you wanna
screw that sketchy go-go boy.
Copy !req
947. At least he's not
a brain-dead jock.
Copy !req
948. Sorry we can't all
be studs like you!
Copy !req
949. Guess what?
Copy !req
950. Tyler was the first guy
I've ever been with.
Copy !req
951. I was so nervous I
couldn't even get it up.
Copy !req
952. Now Beau wants me to top him at
the party and I'm scared to death.
Copy !req
953. Some STUD, huh?
Copy !req
954. Well, aren't we
getting testy?
Copy !req
955. Hey, hey, who told you
guys this was gonna be easy?
Copy !req
956. Sex can be messy, kids.
Copy !req
957. Full of penis drippings,
and ill-timed queefage...
Copy !req
958. and thirty-one flavors
of genital cheese.
Copy !req
959. What the FUUUUUCK!
Copy !req
960. He heard me take
a fart, Dawn.
Copy !req
961. Okay, fine.
Copy !req
962. You still don't
get it, do you?
Copy !req
963. Even after all
you've been through.
Copy !req
964. I was a stud long before
I ever licked a pussy.
Copy !req
965. Oh, great, a bull dyke's gonna
instruct us on the art of being men!
Copy !req
966. Damn right, bitch!
Copy !req
967. When you boys learn that having sex
doesn't make you a man...
Copy !req
968. maybe you'll finally pull
your pricks outta your poopshoots.
Copy !req
969. Criminy, kids.
Copy !req
970. I sure do hope you
get some ass-play.
Copy !req
971. You're sure, right?
Copy !req
972. Yeah.
Copy !req
973. I want you to top me.
Copy !req
974. You guys are gonna
BUTT-FUCK aren't you?
Copy !req
975. Butt-fuckers!
Copy !req
976. Butt-fuckers!
Copy !req
977. Mini-Muff, get the
fuck out of here!
Copy !req
978. C'mon, I wanna watch!
Copy !req
979. NOW, Mini!
Copy !req
980. Awww, man.
Copy !req
981. I may need this.
Copy !req
982. Dude, don't be
a dick-burglar.
Copy !req
983. I'm glad you called
me back, Papi.
Copy !req
984. You know, I likes you
just the way you are.
Copy !req
985. Silver foxy...
Copy !req
986. You're Muffler's grandfather.
Copy !req
987. I've been accused of that.
Copy !req
988. And you are...?
Copy !req
989. Nico.
Copy !req
990. I'm Dawn's friend.
Copy !req
991. Enjoying yourself, Nico?
Copy !req
992. I'm startin' to feel
pretty darn happy.
Copy !req
993. Is that so?
Copy !req
994. And where is your
date this evening?
Copy !req
995. You're lookin' at one
stag fag, Herr Muffler.
Copy !req
996. Can I trouble you
for a highball?
Copy !req
997. I've had my fill
of this swill.
Copy !req
998. I'm afraid I'm gonna have
to see some proper I.D.
Copy !req
999. You have any good tequila?
Copy !req
1000. Anejo?
Copy !req
1001. Mmmmhmmm.
Copy !req
1002. Aged eighteen years...
Copy !req
1003. Just the way
Grandpa likes it.
Copy !req
1004. What is it, Papi?
Copy !req
1005. You're feelin' your boy, huh?
Copy !req
1006. I'm sorry, Angel.
Copy !req
1007. It's all good, kid.
No sweat.
Copy !req
1008. Use what you got.
Copy !req
1009. And hurry.
Copy !req
1010. - Wait!
- Shit!
Copy !req
1011. Griff?
Copy !req
1012. - I need to talk.
- I'm kinda busy, dude.
Copy !req
1013. It's an emergency.
Copy !req
1014. Can you hold that thought?
Copy !req
1015. You've gotta be
fuckin' kidding me.
Copy !req
1016. This better be
fucking good, Griff.
Copy !req
1017. I had to tell you
before it was too late.
Copy !req
1018. I love you, Jarod.
Copy !req
1019. I'm in love with you.
Copy !req
1020. For a long time.
Copy !req
1021. I don't know what to say.
Copy !req
1022. You don't have to say anything.
I just had to let you know.
Copy !req
1023. We gonna fuck, or what?
Copy !req
1024. Cause my balls
are turning blue.
Copy !req
1025. I'm sorry, Beau.
Copy !req
1026. I didn't know...
Copy !req
1027. I had a boyfriend.
Copy !req
1028. Yeah... yeah... yeah.
Copy !req
1029. Oh oh oh oh oh oh!
Copy !req
1030. And how Bette Davis
didn't win the Oscar...
Copy !req
1031. for All About Eve is one of
the mortal sins of Hollywood!
Copy !req
1032. If I told you you are
worldly, polished,
Copy !req
1033. and sophisticated, would
you hold it against me?
Copy !req
1034. My dear young boy, are
you trying to seduce me?
Copy !req
1035. I don't know.
Copy !req
1036. Am I?
Copy !req
1037. Fasten your seatbelt, sonny.
It's going to be a bumpy night.
Copy !req
1038. So. Where's Jarod?
Copy !req
1039. He dumped me.
Copy !req
1040. Where's Griff?
Copy !req
1041. Papi kicked me
to the curb, yo.
Copy !req
1042. Oh, wow.
Copy !req
1043. Wow.
Copy !req
1044. Okay!
Copy !req
1045. Wow.
Copy !req
1046. Hi.
Copy !req
1047. Oh... yeah.
Copy !req
1048. So. Um... well.
Copy !req
1049. Uh, we can... use...
Copy !req
1050. Wow.
Copy !req
1051. So, uh, where are you guys from?
Copy !req
1052. Okay.
Copy !req
1053. Ay!
Copy !req
1054. OH!
Copy !req
1055. Aaahhh!
Copy !req
1056. Grandpa Muffler!
Copy !req
1057. Oh Nico, heaven to Betsy!
Copy !req
1058. Oh! Tap Grandpa's ass!
Copy !req
1059. Oh, that's good.
Copy !req
1060. Yo, you got
room for one more?
Copy !req
1061. Ho!
Copy !req
1062. Oh God!
Copy !req
1063. There's a special place
inside me that you have FOUND!
Copy !req
1064. My God help me!
Copy !req
1065. Oh, "Queer as Folk", eat
your fucking heart out!
Copy !req
1066. Good morning.
Copy !req
1067. Thank God.
Copy !req
1068. What?
Copy !req
1069. I wasn't dreaming.
Copy !req
1070. Morning, Beau.
Copy !req
1071. Angel.
Copy !req
1072. And the moral of
the story is...
Copy !req
1073. real men take it up the ass!
Copy !req
1074. And the best butt-love...
is when you're really in love.
Copy !req
1075. Don't look so blue.
Copy !req
1076. We're gonna find
husbands someday.
Copy !req
1077. I know.
Copy !req
1078. It's just that...
summer's over.
Copy !req
1079. We're not kids anymore.
Copy !req
1080. I'm really gonna
miss you guys.
Copy !req
1081. What the fuck!
Copy !req
1082. You KNOW we're doin'
Spring Break...
Copy !req
1083. in Ft. Lauderdale, bitch!
Copy !req
1084. To the sequel.
Copy !req
1085. To the sequel!
Copy !req
1086. Would you like to dance?
Copy !req
1087. I thought you'd never ask.
Copy !req
1088. My lady.
Copy !req
1089. Awwwww.
Copy !req
1090. Awwww.
Copy !req
1091. Hiya, kids.
Copy !req
1092. Hi, Mrs. Hunter.
Copy !req
1093. Muffler.
Copy !req
1094. Oh... Mrs. Hunter.
Copy !req
1095. Wow.
Copy !req
1096. Okay, okay, we gotta know.
Copy !req
1097. Muffler...
Copy !req
1098. What's your secret?
Copy !req
1099. AHHH!
Copy !req