1. We've gone as far as we can go by road.Copy !req
2. We need a boat.Copy !req
3. Should only take a few days.Copy !req
4. We shouldn't be here.Copy !req
5. The jungle doesn't want us here.Copy !req
6. There is...Copy !req
7. We have to do this.Copy !req
8. What's waiting for us
will change our lives.Copy !req
9. Fine.Copy !req
10. I'll go alone.Copy !req
11. Ana.Copy !req
12. Ana!Copy !req
13. Don't do this!Copy !req
14. It's her.Copy !req
15. Get to the boat!Copy !req
16. Come on! Let's go!Copy !req
17. - Hey!
- Stop!Copy !req
18. Take my hand!Copy !req
19. We start tight on a full moon.Copy !req
20. Milky. Almost yellow.Copy !req
21. And we crane downCopy !req
22. to reveal an idyllic, suburban street.Copy !req
23. We float past a series
of white picket fences,Copy !req
24. until we settle on a sewer grate.Copy !req
25. Pow! Flies open!Copy !req
26. Something big and scaly slithers out,Copy !req
27. fast, hungry, definitely not human,Copy !req
28. as a pulsating score kicks in.Copy !req
29. We're on the back of the beastCopy !req
30. as it slithers menacingly
towards a little blue house.Copy !req
31. Wait. I'm sorry.Copy !req
32. This is our wedding video
you're talking about?Copy !req
33. Yes, though I actually don't think of them
as videos. They're more like short films.Copy !req
34. Yeah, because I'm not sure
this is quite what we had in mind.Copy !req
35. Okay. I know.
It's a little different than normal but—Copy !req
36. We really liked the one you did
for Karen and Bart.Copy !req
37. When they walk by the riverCopy !req
38. - and jump up and high-five.
- That jump was dope.Copy !req
39. And I loved that song they used.Copy !req
40. I don't want to wait
For our lives to be overCopy !req
41. I want to know right now
How does it feelCopy !req
42. - You know it. Yeah.
- Guys. Here's the thing.Copy !req
43. I really like you guys.
And you said you're horror fans,Copy !req
44. and I'm like, "I love horror so much."Copy !req
45. And I thought this could be special.
You know what I mean?Copy !req
46. This is a film you're gonna watch
for the rest of your lives.Copy !req
47. But this isn't a film, Doug.Copy !req
48. This is a wedding video, and we want one
where they do a little jump.Copy !req
49. - Yeah.
- Now, can you do that for us or not?Copy !req
50. Okay.Copy !req
51. And do you mind if I'm doing warm-ups?
Is it okay?Copy !req
52. Oh, yeah. I've seen much crazier.Copy !req
53. Okay, good.Copy !req
54. Does it sound better to say my line,Copy !req
55. "His vision is blurry,
which could suggest..."Copy !req
56. or, "His vision is blurry,
which could suggest..."Copy !req
57. Or I could— You know what? I could even
do, like, an accent. I could do just...Copy !req
58. I think you just should do it
the way you auditioned it, honey.Copy !req
59. - Yeah.
- Yeah.Copy !req
60. It's been a while since I booked anything,
and I just want it to go well.Copy !req
61. - Yeah.
- I just...Copy !req
62. It's hard out there.Copy !req
63. Sorry.Copy !req
64. Doctor number 3, we're ready for you.Copy !req
65. Okay, knock 'em dead.Copy !req
66. Okay, thanks. Thank you, Donna.Copy !req
67. Hey, by the way, if you ever
need anything from Lowe's,Copy !req
68. I will hook you up
with my employee discount,Copy !req
69. no questions asked.Copy !req
70. - Okay?
- Okay.Copy !req
71. Thanks. Ten more ccs of tramadol.Copy !req
72. Any idea what I'm looking at here?Copy !req
73. He said his vision was blurry,Copy !req
74. - so, you know, that could suggest—
- Optic neuritis.Copy !req
75. Already ruled that out.Copy !req
76. - Cut.
- That's a cut!Copy !req
77. Hey, buddy, not sure what that accent is.Copy !req
78. Just do it normally, okay?Copy !req
79. We're gonna go again right away.Copy !req
80. Set.Copy !req
81. He said his vision was blurry,
which could suggest—Copy !req
82. Cut! Say the line faster. Okay?
Faster this time.Copy !req
83. He said his vision was blurry,
which could suggest—Copy !req
84. Cut! Jesus,
I think we gotta fire this guy.Copy !req
85. Can we get somebody else in here?Copy !req
86. Griff, it's Doug. I just ran into
your mom at the supermarket.Copy !req
87. She said you booked a big gig today.Copy !req
88. I'm proud of you, bud.Copy !req
89. Everyone in Buffalo misses you.Copy !req
90. I love you. Come visit, man!Copy !req
91. Jesus, Jerry.Copy !req
92. Doug, what is this thing about—
there's some kind of sewer monster?Copy !req
93. Oh, boy.Copy !req
94. Doug.Copy !req
95. Look, I get that this is not what
you dreamed about when you were a kid.Copy !req
96. But dreams, they go. Huh?Copy !req
97. Now, I'll be retiring soon.Copy !req
98. And, Doug, it is only a matter of time
before all this is yours.Copy !req
99. - Really?
- Yeah.Copy !req
100. Look around. Take it all in.Copy !req
101. And imagine.Copy !req
102. If you do it right,
it's a pretty sweet set-up we got here.Copy !req
103. This is a B, and maybe even
a B+ life we're talking about.Copy !req
104. Are you sure you don't wanna do anything
for your birthday?Copy !req
105. You used to make me
celebrate your half-birthdays.Copy !req
106. Let's go get a beer.Copy !req
107. Or something.Copy !req
108. Maybe we just watch that new
mountain climbing doc.Copy !req
109. About the lady that
falls to her own death?Copy !req
110. Yeah.Copy !req
111. Fine, we can do the one about
the free diver in the Maldives.Copy !req
112. Who drowns? Jesus Christ, Doug.Copy !req
113. I don't know. Let's just take a gummy
and go to bed early.Copy !req
114. Surprise!Copy !req
115. Oh, my God, Malie. No!Copy !req
116. Oh, yes. Yes, you love
a good, big birthday party.Copy !req
117. Dad, should've seen your face.Copy !req
118. - You knew about this?
- It was my idea.Copy !req
119. - Buddy, take my coat, please. Thank you.
- Okay.Copy !req
120. Hey! How are you?Copy !req
121. - Yeah. Happy birthday!
- Jesus, Kenny. My back!Copy !req
122. - I'm sorry.
- No! That's not...Copy !req
123. The actual lotion. The actual basket.Copy !req
124. "It puts the lotion in the basket"?Copy !req
125. - eBay, buddy.
- Dude, that is sick.Copy !req
126. Yeah, no, that is actually sick.Copy !req
127. - Happy birthday, Dougie.
- Thanks for making the trek, Claire.Copy !req
128. You know I love Buffalo this time of year.
The slush, the hypothermia.Copy !req
129. What's up? No Trent?Copy !req
130. No Trent.Copy !req
131. Ever again, in fact.Copy !req
132. He started banging his dental hygienist.Copy !req
133. Anyway, tonight is all about you, baby.Copy !req
134. - It's about me.
- It's about you.Copy !req
135. You came! Here you are. Oh, my God.Copy !req
136. It's been too long, pal.Copy !req
137. It's so good to see you.
It has been way too long.Copy !req
138. Happy birthday.Copy !req
139. Thank you for coming out here.Copy !req
140. Think I'm gonna miss this? Never.Copy !req
141. We got a lot of catching up to do.Copy !req
142. Many years ago, a group of young,
passionate artists had a vision.Copy !req
143. It was a vision that's not
particularly original or even good,Copy !req
144. but it was theirs.Copy !req
145. And so they made that vision a reality.Copy !req
146. And, without further ado,Copy !req
147. I present to you
a completely unrestored printCopy !req
148. of 13-year-old Doug McCallister's
masterpiece, The Quatch.Copy !req
149. What? I thought we lost
all the copies of that!Copy !req
150. - No way.
- Nope.Copy !req
151. I found it in my mom's garage.
It was stuck in the player.Copy !req
152. Are we sure this is okay
for the kids to watch?Copy !req
153. Who gives a shit?Copy !req
154. Mrs Brown had us bleep all the swears so
we could show it at the school assembly.Copy !req
155. Yeah, which didn't make much senseCopy !req
156. because we were very clear
about it being R-rated.Copy !req
157. - Happy birthday, pal.
- This isn't happening.Copy !req
158. It's happening. Here we go.Copy !req
159. - God.
- Here, sit.Copy !req
160. I'm gonna kill you.Copy !req
161. I haven't changed a bit.Copy !req
162. Holy ****!Copy !req
163. - Look at the grass!
- Hot on the trail!Copy !req
164. - Look out for the quatch.
- Here we go.Copy !req
165. Before you **** strike me,
I need to **** ask you one **** thing.Copy !req
166. You got some **** bite left?Copy !req
167. Or you all **** bark?Copy !req
168. Boom!Copy !req
169. Damn, we'd been watching
a lot of Scorsese.Copy !req
170. We didn't quite have
the ear for it, did we?Copy !req
171. - I need to tell you something.
- What is it?Copy !req
172. That I love you. I've always loved you.Copy !req
173. And I always **** will.Copy !req
174. I **** love you too.Copy !req
175. Now, kiss me, woman.Copy !req
176. So much charisma. Already, you had it.Copy !req
177. I still can't believe I let Doug talk me
into doing that.Copy !req
178. What are you talking about?
That was your idea.Copy !req
179. Yeah!Copy !req
180. - It's coming for us.
- We're trapped.Copy !req
181. What the hell are we gonna do?Copy !req
182. - No!
- Yes.Copy !req
183. Oh, my God. We're all gonna die!Copy !req
184. This is where it gets real.Copy !req
185. Not on my watch, mister.Copy !req
186. - Boom!
- Yeah!Copy !req
187. - Yeah!
- Yeah!Copy !req
188. Amazing!Copy !req
189. So good!Copy !req
190. That's probably the best birthday gift
I've ever received.Copy !req
191. - I didn't even know it existed.
- Well, I'm giving it to you.Copy !req
192. Plus the TV 'cause you can't get it out.Copy !req
193. - Yay!
- Yes!Copy !req
194. - It was right after, you know...
- Right after senior year of college.Copy !req
195. Yes, that's when Anaconda came out.
Remember? We saw it like 30 times.Copy !req
196. Put it right there alongside the classics.Copy !req
197. Totally. How about that cast? Come on.Copy !req
198. - J. Lo, Ice Cube, Owen Wilson, Stoltz.
- Oh, for sure.Copy !req
199. I mean, it's a murderers' row.Copy !req
200. Plus, that snake was like a metaphor
for our lives at that moment.Copy !req
201. Like, how life is coming at you, you know,Copy !req
202. hunting you and forcing you, like,Copy !req
203. off your...Copy !req
204. like your parents'
health insurance and stuff.Copy !req
205. - I don't know...
- No, that's true.Copy !req
206. - Yeah, that's...
- It was like that.Copy !req
207. - That's right, Kenny.
- Whatever.Copy !req
208. How about that accent by Jon Voight?
How about that? That was a choice.Copy !req
209. "They wrap around you
until you get the privilegeCopy !req
210. - of hearing your bones break...
- Bones break...Copy !req
211. before the power of embrace
causes your veins to explode."Copy !req
212. Sorry.Copy !req
213. I have the rights to Anaconda.Copy !req
214. What?Copy !req
215. I have the rights to Anaconda.Copy !req
216. Yeah.Copy !req
217. Apparently, the movie was based
on a novel by some dead Japanese guy.Copy !req
218. And my agent introduced me to his widow.Copy !req
219. Unbelievably, she was such a fan of the
four episodes that I did on S.W.A.T...Copy !req
220. - Who isn't?
- ... that she gave me the rights.Copy !req
221. Dude. So what are you gonna do with them?Copy !req
222. Well, not me.Copy !req
223. Us.Copy !req
224. We're gonna reboot the thing. Indie-style.Copy !req
225. Three weeks, run-and-gun in the Amazon.
Skeletal crew.Copy !req
226. Claire, you and I can star.
Kenny, you shoot it. Doug, you direct.Copy !req
227. Huh? Come on. What do you say?Copy !req
228. I mean, it's a wonderful idea
in theory, but...Copy !req
229. I'm in! I can get time off from work.Copy !req
230. Yes, you can, Kenny. Sweet!Copy !req
231. Kenny, what are you talking about?
You're in? He's not... No. He's not in.Copy !req
232. He says one thing and you're in already.
You're going to the Amazon.Copy !req
233. - He's not in.
- What do you say, Claire?Copy !req
234. - I just...
- Come on.Copy !req
235. I don't know if I'm
in the right headspace...Copy !req
236. - Of course you are.
- ... with the divorce.Copy !req
237. Of course you're not
in the right headspace.Copy !req
238. That's the best headspace.
Are you kidding me?Copy !req
239. Come on, it's like Eat Pray Love
and... shit.Copy !req
240. Come on.Copy !req
241. You know what? I'm in.Copy !req
242. - What? Really?
- Yes! Sweet.Copy !req
243. Yeah. I mean,
my life is totally shit anyway so...Copy !req
244. God, I'm so happy to hear that.Copy !req
245. I mean, not that your life is shit,
but that you're in.Copy !req
246. Besides, as soon as Doug says yes,Copy !req
247. we'll probably need you
to finance this whole thing.Copy !req
248. - What?
- Thank you.Copy !req
249. Doug?Copy !req
250. Griff, I'm sorry.Copy !req
251. I got responsibilities.
I got Malie, Charlie, my job.Copy !req
252. I know. Making wedding videos.Copy !req
253. Films. Right.Copy !req
254. It's a good life, you know?Copy !req
255. It's a B, B+ life.Copy !req
256. B, B+ life?Copy !req
257. It's a good life.Copy !req
258. Do you remember when we were kidsCopy !req
259. and we would stay up
till 4:00 in the morning,Copy !req
260. hanging out in your mom's basement
watching horror movies?Copy !req
261. Scaring the shit out of ourselves.Copy !req
262. Texas Chainsaw on, like, repeat.Copy !req
263. Now we have the chance
to make one ourselves.Copy !req
264. Dude, it's what we dreamed about
ever since we were little kids.Copy !req
265. I hear ya.Copy !req
266. But we're not kids anymore, Griff.Copy !req
267. I'm sorry.Copy !req
268. Yeah. I know. All right.Copy !req
269. I just...Copy !req
270. I get it. I do.Copy !req
271. I get it.Copy !req
272. Still watching The Quatch.Copy !req
273. Charlie, why don't you go
check on those cookies?Copy !req
274. Okay, but I'm pausing it, so...Copy !req
275. don't touch it.Copy !req
276. Gonna need some ice-cold milch with that.Copy !req
277. You got it.Copy !req
278. - What are you doing?
- What?Copy !req
279. Just go make the movie.Copy !req
280. Malie.Copy !req
281. Come on. Every time you watch this thing,
you light up.Copy !req
282. Like I haven't seen you light up
in a long time.Copy !req
283. So what? I'm supposed to chase
some Hollywood fantasy I had as a kid?Copy !req
284. Waste a bunch of money and time,
and for what?Copy !req
285. In the end, what's it gonna change?Copy !req
286. Okay.Copy !req
287. Okay.Copy !req
288. Okay.Copy !req
289. We hope you come to celebrate...Copy !req
290. As we become...Copy !req
291. The Hansons.Copy !req
292. Holy shit.Copy !req
293. what will it be?Copy !req
294. I don't want to wait
For our lives to be overCopy !req
295. What am I singing?Copy !req
296. Hey, dude.Copy !req
297. I don't want to wait, man.Copy !req
298. Our lives could be, like... over.Copy !req
299. What are you talking about?Copy !req
300. The Anaconda thing.
You were serious, right?Copy !req
301. Yes, very.Copy !req
302. Then let's do it.Copy !req
303. Let's reboot Anaconda.Copy !req
304. Yes! Yes.Copy !req
305. All right, budget-wise, soup to nuts,
what does it cost to get this thing made?Copy !req
306. I figure we need three weeks of shooting.
Some VFX, some SFX,Copy !req
307. a riverboat, a riverboat captain,
travel to and from a jungle,Copy !req
308. and a gigantic real snake,
preferably a rental.Copy !req
309. - Rental, copy.
- All in,Copy !req
310. two, two-and-a-half million dollars.Copy !req
311. That sounds right.Copy !req
312. We've approved a loan for you for up to...Copy !req
313. $9,400.Copy !req
314. Yes!Copy !req
315. I've revised the budget down to...Copy !req
316. $43,000 all in.Copy !req
317. That sounds more right.Copy !req
318. Now, the film
does have to be scary, right?Copy !req
319. Terrifying. But it can't just be about
a giant snake killing people.Copy !req
320. - Exactly.
- You know?Copy !req
321. It has to be about something, right?Copy !req
322. Right.Copy !req
323. I mean...Copy !req
324. - Themes.
- Themes.Copy !req
325. Come on.Copy !req
326. - Like grief.
- What about revenge?Copy !req
327. In terms of themes,
that's like one of the top ones.Copy !req
328. - Oh, my God. I got a good one.
- Hit me.Copy !req
329. Intergenerational trauma.Copy !req
330. I love intergenerational trauma.Copy !req
331. Who doesn't love intergenerational trauma?Copy !req
332. - It's the best.
- We're onto something here.Copy !req
333. This is a masterpiece.Copy !req
334. You're a goddamn genius. I love it.Copy !req
335. - Don't change a word.
- Not a word.Copy !req
336. Dude, you killed it. It's scary,
emotional, funny when it needs to be.Copy !req
337. - Romantic.
- Dude, thank you.Copy !req
338. Hey, Doug...Copy !req
339. I know that we had
our little dust-up, but...Copy !req
340. I need to shoot this film, man.Copy !req
341. Dust-up?Copy !req
342. Yeah. He fired me
from the wedding video stuffCopy !req
343. 'cause I got a little wasted.Copy !req
344. He knocked over the wedding cake.Copy !req
345. - But I'm dealing with it.
- Like, getting sober?Copy !req
346. Yes.Copy !req
347. Well, I mean, Buffalo sober.Copy !req
348. Buffalo sober?Copy !req
349. Just beer and wine.Copy !req
350. And then some of the lighter liquors.
But definitely not all of 'em.Copy !req
351. I'm proud of you.Copy !req
352. Doug?Copy !req
353. If I'm being honest,
I enabled you a little bit.Copy !req
354. Of course you get a second chance.
Let's do this.Copy !req
355. - Nice!
- Thank you, man.Copy !req
356. Car's here.Copy !req
357. And you have the mefloquine, right?
You only take that once a week.Copy !req
358. Hey, Dad. I almost forgot.Copy !req
359. - Talk to me.
- But I got you this.Copy !req
360. What?Copy !req
361. I know. Pretty sick.Copy !req
362. "World's greatest Doug."Copy !req
363. - I thought it should say, "Dad".
- Whatever, man, it's funny.Copy !req
364. I love it. It's much better.Copy !req
365. - So it begins.
- Yeah!Copy !req
366. - Oh, yeah.
- All right. Made it.Copy !req
367. - We're here.
- That's what I'm talkin' about!Copy !req
368. Brasília!Copy !req
369. So, hey, I was reading about anacondas
on the plane.Copy !req
370. Basically,
they wait in the water for days,Copy !req
371. stalking their prey,
never moving, just waiting,Copy !req
372. and then when a prey comes...Copy !req
373. snatch and grab.Copy !req
374. Thousand pounds of pressure.
Think you're gonna get away? You're not.Copy !req
375. Crushing you. Oxygen leaving your lungs.Copy !req
376. Oh, God, it's terrible.Copy !req
377. - So, like in the movie Anaconda.
- Yeah, exactly.Copy !req
378. So it's real?Copy !req
379. Yeah, it's all real.Copy !req
380. Very real.Copy !req
381. There's this story about this woman...Copy !req
382. God bless her.Copy !req
383. The snake wraps around her so tight...Copy !req
384. the eyeballs just...Copy !req
385. - No.
- No way.Copy !req
386. Yeah, it was my grandmother, Sylvana.Copy !req
387. Shit.Copy !req
388. Horrible grandmother. But still sad.Copy !req
389. I'm sorry, who are you?Copy !req
390. I'm sorry. Carlos Santiago.
Yeah, you can call me Santiago.Copy !req
391. - Hey! It's Kenny.
- Yeah, hey.Copy !req
392. - Kenny from the phone. Hey.
- Kenny. Kenny, hey.Copy !req
393. - Hi.
- Yeah, this is our snake handler.Copy !req
394. - Thank God.
- He's supposed to be the best.Copy !req
395. No. "Supposed to be"?
We have a joker here.Copy !req
396. No. I am the best. Yes.Copy !req
397. - That's good.
- Yeah.Copy !req
398. So, welcome to Brazil.Copy !req
399. Let's meet the snake.Copy !req
400. Go around, we'll find her.Copy !req
401. When I found him,
he was dying of starvation.Copy !req
402. His food supply destroyed by gold miners
who put mercury in the river.Copy !req
403. - Gold miners?
- Gold mining poisons our land.Copy !req
404. Their greed almost killed my snake.Copy !req
405. But I fed him, I nursed him back to life,Copy !req
406. and in many ways, he did the same for me.Copy !req
407. Yes. A tale as old as time.Copy !req
408. Saved by a snake.Copy !req
409. What's your name?Copy !req
410. What's... Griff.Copy !req
411. Okay, Griff. He's not only a snake.Copy !req
412. He's my tiny giant, my friend.Copy !req
413. One of the most important creatures
of the herpetological world.Copy !req
414. No, of course... I... Sure.Copy !req
415. I didn't... I wasn't trying to... Yes.Copy !req
416. Okay. Let me introduce you.Copy !req
417. Heitor.Copy !req
418. - Heitor?
- Oh, my goodness.Copy !req
419. Hey, cutie.Copy !req
420. - Oh, no. Not cutie.
- Oh, my...Copy !req
421. Oh, hell yes! This thing is nuts!Copy !req
422. There are rumours of 'condas even bigger.Copy !req
423. Maybe four or five times this size.Copy !req
424. Go ahead, Kenny from the phone.Copy !req
425. Is it true that they
regurgitate their prey?Copy !req
426. Sometimes.Copy !req
427. I mean, if you're lucky,Copy !req
428. you'd die right away
because of suffocation.Copy !req
429. But only the unlucky ones survive.Copy !req
430. Unlucky?Copy !req
431. Yeah, because then
you might actually be consciousCopy !req
432. when the snake comes back
to finish you off.Copy !req
433. Gotcha. Better to die.Copy !req
434. - Look at that boat!
- This is money in the bank, baby.Copy !req
435. Hey. Let me ask you a question.Copy !req
436. Our snake guy...Copy !req
437. Does he seem kind of batshit crazy?Copy !req
438. I mean, he's best friends with a snake.Copy !req
439. - Of course he's a little quirky.
- Yeah.Copy !req
440. But I like him.Copy !req
441. - Really?
- Yeah.Copy !req
442. But then again,Copy !req
443. I used up all my vacation daysCopy !req
444. to come make a self-financed snake movie
with you three, so...Copy !req
445. - Yeah, your judgment is really off.
- My judgment is off.Copy !req
446. - It always has been.
- Exactly.Copy !req
447. Anybody talk to the captain?
It's time to shoot.Copy !req
448. I'll reach out again, boss.Copy !req
449. Hi, guys. My name is Ana.Copy !req
450. I believe you spoke
to my father on the phone?Copy !req
451. Bruno? That's your dad?Copy !req
452. Yeah, he sends his apologies,
but he's at the hospital.Copy !req
453. - I'm sorry.
- Unfortunately,Copy !req
454. you'll have to make other accommodations,Copy !req
455. 'cause I need to take this boat upriver
for a routine service.Copy !req
456. But I can assure you a full refund.Copy !req
457. No, wait. Wait.Copy !req
458. - Everything else is booked.
- Yeah.Copy !req
459. And we're gonna shoot a movie.Copy !req
460. It's a reboot of Anaconda.Copy !req
461. Technically,
it's more of a reimagining, but—Copy !req
462. It's actually more of a spiritual sequel.Copy !req
463. Good for you.Copy !req
464. - There's gotta be a way, right?
- We can crew the boat.Copy !req
465. There's nothing I can do...Copy !req
466. We have dreamed of making
this film together our entire lives.Copy !req
467. Please. I am begging you.Copy !req
468. - Please.
- Help us find another way.Copy !req
469. - Let's do this, but fast.
- Okay.Copy !req
470. - Yes! Let's go!
- Thank you!Copy !req
471. Wow!Copy !req
472. Yes!Copy !req
473. This is so beautiful.Copy !req
474. This is amazing. It's amazing.Copy !req
475. Looks exactly...Copy !req
476. Look!Copy !req
477. - Kenny?
- Yeah, bud?Copy !req
478. - How did you find this boat?
- Cocktail, anyone?Copy !req
479. Nice!Copy !req
480. It's a computer.Copy !req
481. Yes!Copy !req
482. I want a list of all the boats
that left the marina in the last 3 hours.Copy !req
483. Now!Copy !req
484. One more thing, you guys,
before we go to bed.Copy !req
485. We got a big day tomorrow.Copy !req
486. If you remember,
we had a tradition on all our films.Copy !req
487. The night before we started shooting,Copy !req
488. we would say a prayer to the movie gods,Copy !req
489. asking them to basically
not screw us over,Copy !req
490. and for the first time ever,
may they listen.Copy !req
491. - Come on, to the movie gods.
- Yes.Copy !req
492. All right. We're rolling.Copy !req
493. Anaconda, scene 15, take one. Slap it.Copy !req
494. Bella!Copy !req
495. - What the hell are you still doing here?
- I've come to take you home.Copy !req
496. It's time you stopped chasing
this mythical snake.Copy !req
497. And what if I'm not prone to giving up?Copy !req
498. I didn't see you filming there.Copy !req
499. What are we doing? EPK?Copy !req
500. Background, DVD, bonus stuff.Copy !req
501. The Anaconda is a story
of an intrepid biologist played by Claire,Copy !req
502. who hires an unhinged snake tracker
played by Griff,Copy !req
503. to hunt down and kill
a giant, mythical 'condaCopy !req
504. that ate her entire family.Copy !req
505. Come and get me, you goddamn snake!Copy !req
506. And on a deeper level,
it's about chasing your dreams.Copy !req
507. And camera set, push-ups good, and action!Copy !req
508. What's it like shooting with Doug again?Copy !req
509. He and I are best friends.Copy !req
510. We've worked together our whole lives.Copy !req
511. And I went out to LA,
and he was gonna come out.Copy !req
512. We were gonna be a partnership,
and he didn't do it.Copy !req
513. Griff and I planned to work together
in LA, but, you know, life intervened.Copy !req
514. But it doesn't matter,
'cause now we're togetherCopy !req
515. and now we're back, we're making this,
and it's as it should be.Copy !req
516. I am the insects.Copy !req
517. The anaconda moves slow and steady.Copy !req
518. Sometimes it goes fast.Copy !req
519. Snake POV, RD. Take 1.Copy !req
520. No. No, it's not working.Copy !req
521. Snake POV, the right way. Take 2.Copy !req
522. Sometimes he goes from above in the trees,Copy !req
523. sometimes from below in the water.Copy !req
524. The toothpick, it unlocked a couple
of aspects of this character for me.Copy !req
525. There's something there.Copy !req
526. Why would I be nervous
about doing a love story with Griff?Copy !req
527. You guys used to date.Copy !req
528. That was a long time ago.Copy !req
529. A little bit of chaosCopy !req
530. is part of the ingredients.Copy !req
531. Maybe look at each other.Copy !req
532. This might be the last time
you look at each other.Copy !req
533. You'd think you'd be
a little nicer to the guyCopy !req
534. who's out here to save your life.Copy !req
535. You're an asshole.Copy !req
536. Yeah.Copy !req
537. And a PhD.Copy !req
538. And cut.Copy !req
539. Great stuff, guys. We got it.Copy !req
540. Should we go one more time?
You wanna try it again?Copy !req
541. No. I'm good if you're good.Copy !req
542. Let's go one more time.Copy !req
543. - The chemistry between you two is...
- Yeah?Copy !req
544. Like we were right back in high school.Copy !req
545. When you looked up at her...Copy !req
546. Well, that's 'cause of your note.Copy !req
547. About taking the beat
right before you did it?Copy !req
548. Yeah, yeah. It made the scene.Copy !req
549. I tell you...Copy !req
550. I never felt like this on S.W.A.T.Copy !req
551. I mean, granted
I was only in a couple of episodes,Copy !req
552. but it was never collaborative.
It was never fun.Copy !req
553. Not...Copy !req
554. Not like this. This...Copy !req
555. - This is—
- Like we were back on Quatch?Copy !req
556. Yeah.Copy !req
557. Yeah.Copy !req
558. Do you guys have chupacabra?Copy !req
559. That looks so good.Copy !req
560. Hey, so, one script thing.Copy !req
561. I was thinking, at the midway point,Copy !req
562. instead of talking the bad guy out of it,Copy !req
563. what if...Copy !req
564. Claire's character...Copy !req
565. headbutts him?Copy !req
566. Sorry. Headbutts him?Copy !req
567. Headbutts him.Copy !req
568. Or... Or...Copy !req
569. we both do.Copy !req
570. Double headbutt.Copy !req
571. - Come on. It's kinda revolutionary.
- Double headbutt.Copy !req
572. That is super revolutionary.Copy !req
573. Why is that super revolutionary?Copy !req
574. Well, it's never been done.Copy !req
575. Jesus Christ. This is a beautiful scene
with real stakes, Doug.Copy !req
576. Feel free to weigh in here.Copy !req
577. Nah, I hear you. I do.Copy !req
578. And, as always,
I trust your instincts on this.Copy !req
579. But a double headbutt
is pretty revolutionary.Copy !req
580. Right? It's very revolutionary. Yes.Copy !req
581. - There's no denying it.
- None!Copy !req
582. Come on, Claire. Is the problem that
you don't know how to headbutt?Copy !req
583. Why would I not know how to headbutt?Copy !req
584. We're not born with these skills.
We learn them along the way.Copy !req
585. Let me show you.
Tight core, breathe in, hold that breath.Copy !req
586. Yeah?Copy !req
587. And you can vocalise.Copy !req
588. Another kind of headbutt
is more unleashed, just full-on...Copy !req
589. He got the arms in there. That's good.Copy !req
590. Send that shit into the goal.Copy !req
591. Or you put some Brazilian sauce on that.
You know?Copy !req
592. And you go, boom! Toma!Copy !req
593. - Toma!
- Toma?Copy !req
594. Hey, I love it.Copy !req
595. Yeah, that's right.Copy !req
596. - Brazilian spice.
- Yeah!Copy !req
597. If I was gonna headbutt,
I would go for the bridge of the nose.Copy !req
598. - Yes.
- Just crack it.Copy !req
599. - Jesus!
- Yes! That's it.Copy !req
600. - Jeez. Yeah, that's great.
- And you go, "Toma! Toma!"Copy !req
601. I think it's a different... Toma!Copy !req
602. - Toma!
- Yeah, toma!Copy !req
603. Goddamn!Copy !req
604. I'm sorry, but how could this happen, huh?Copy !req
605. Kenny, I thought you said
this guy was a pro.Copy !req
606. That's what he said, but he hasn't
provided us with a certificate.Copy !req
607. You fixed the crate, right?
It's taken care of?Copy !req
608. My thing. My job. Under control. All good.Copy !req
609. My Heitor, he's a beautiful, intelligent,
smart, sexy creature.Copy !req
610. He does exactly what I command.Copy !req
611. And I would never let anything happenCopy !req
612. to you or the crazy one,
or her, or her, or this "actor" here.Copy !req
613. - What the...
- So have a good night.Copy !req
614. May the sounds of the forest
be the music of your dreams.Copy !req
615. Jesus...Copy !req
616. Man, he's a poet.Copy !req
617. Okay. Actors, on your marks.Copy !req
618. Santiago, is Heitor ready?Copy !req
619. Yes, Heitor is always ready.Copy !req
620. Heitor is ready, and action!Copy !req
621. Cut, please.Copy !req
622. - Cut? All right, cut. Yeah.
- Yeah, I just— Sorry. I need a little...Copy !req
623. Kenny, do you mind if I...Copy !req
624. Santiago, take five. Heitor, five.Copy !req
625. - Hey. Wow, that thing, it's really...
- Hey.Copy !req
626. It's huge when you see it
up close and personal like that.Copy !req
627. Majestic creature.Copy !req
628. But I just was wondering...Copy !req
629. I throw myself in front of the snake
to kind of protect Claire's character,Copy !req
630. - right?
- Correct.Copy !req
631. Is there any value in not doing that?Copy !req
632. What? No.Copy !req
633. - No, no, he sacrifices himself for her.
- Yeah. Of course.Copy !req
634. - It caps his arc. It's so important.
- Right. Right.Copy !req
635. - And also, dude, it's totally safe.
- Yeah.Copy !req
636. - Santiago has Heitor under control.
- Okay.Copy !req
637. - You've got nothing to worry about.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah...Copy !req
638. - We're good. You're good.
- Yeah. Okay.Copy !req
639. - Okay.
- All right, let's do this.Copy !req
640. All right, take it from the top.Copy !req
641. Back to one.Copy !req
642. Santiago, Heitor? Action!Copy !req
643. Go!Copy !req
644. I'm not leaving! Not without you, Derek.Copy !req
645. This thing's got me.
The world's depending on you.Copy !req
646. I'm depending on you.Copy !req
647. Goddamn it! I love you, Derek van Hoyle!Copy !req
648. It's just— I can't—Copy !req
649. - Put your face right up next to the snake.
- I don't like this.Copy !req
650. - I don't want to do it anymore.
- Get a tiny bit closer.Copy !req
651. Get closer. He's friendly.Copy !req
652. - I think you got it, dude!
- No, I don't quite have it!Copy !req
653. - Doug, you got the shot! You got the shot!
- Hold it! Just a couple more beats.Copy !req
654. This is gold.
Just give me one more second.Copy !req
655. One inch closer to your face.Copy !req
656. Get it right up in there!Copy !req
657. You're a hero! No!Copy !req
658. No!Copy !req
659. Oh, shit.Copy !req
660. I know you think this is strange.Copy !req
661. A grown man getting emotional
over some dead snake.Copy !req
662. Jesus.Copy !req
663. But I loved him,Copy !req
664. and he loved me back,
whatever way he could.Copy !req
665. God. No!Copy !req
666. Why is Kenny crying?Copy !req
667. Hey. I don't want you here. Not for this!Copy !req
668. He tried to murder me.Copy !req
669. - Griff?
- What?Copy !req
670. - Let the man grieve.
- You murdered my friend.Copy !req
671. Just get out of my face.Copy !req
672. - What... Where am I supposed to go?
- Griff! Go! Just move!Copy !req
673. Fine!Copy !req
674. Go in peace, my friendCopy !req
675. May the divine snakes welcome youCopy !req
676. My dear friendCopy !req
677. - Snakedy snake
- Snakedy snake, yeahCopy !req
678. Snakedy snakeCopy !req
679. May the divine snakesCopy !req
680. Welcome you, welcome you...Copy !req
681. What do you see?Copy !req
682. They're doing
some sort of weird snake funeral.Copy !req
683. Snake funeral?Copy !req
684. Sorry, I thought I heard something.Copy !req
685. Timo?Copy !req
686. Timo!Copy !req
687. - No. Not you. No. Just—
- I know, I'm sorry... I don't mean—Copy !req
688. - I'm not trying to disturb you.
- Just leave me alone.Copy !req
689. I'm sorry for your loss.Copy !req
690. I know you don't believe me,
but it's true. I really am.Copy !req
691. A friend of mine died once too,
and it hurts.Copy !req
692. Was it a snake?Copy !req
693. Was it a snake?Copy !req
694. No.Copy !req
695. It was just a... human person.Copy !req
696. Yeah, still sad, right?Copy !req
697. Totally.
Anyway, I just wanted to say I'm sorry.Copy !req
698. Beer?Copy !req
699. Well, I have my pills here, but, yeah.
Let's mix it up.Copy !req
700. A few commercials, TV.
Did a few episodes of S.W.A.T.Copy !req
701. - S.W.A.T.?
- Yeah.Copy !req
702. I like that one.Copy !req
703. I swear, I even had the last line—
Thanks.Copy !req
704. The last— Thanks.Copy !req
705. - Last line of season three.
- So, what happened?Copy !req
706. Well, the producers decided that
they didn't really need that character,Copy !req
707. so they got rid of me.Copy !req
708. I mean, it's only been going
about eight or nine more seasons.Copy !req
709. They don't deserve you.Copy !req
710. Yeah, you're a star.Copy !req
711. - Thank you.
- Yeah. You've been in movies?Copy !req
712. - I'm in an industrial...
- You know what movie I like?Copy !req
713. - What?
- The Legend of Bagger Vance.Copy !req
714. - You should do a movie like that.
- Man, I wish.Copy !req
715. Yeah.Copy !req
716. - I like you.
- I like you too.Copy !req
717. - You know what?
- What?Copy !req
718. I'll get a new snake for your movie now.Copy !req
719. - Really?
- Yes.Copy !req
720. Oh, my God. Thank you so much.Copy !req
721. Yeah. You come with me, of course.Copy !req
722. What?Copy !req
723. Should we be in here?
Maybe we should head back.Copy !req
724. What was that? What was that?Copy !req
725. Listen.Copy !req
726. There are snakes around here.Copy !req
727. I can feel it.Copy !req
728. What does it feel like?Copy !req
729. I don't know. It's just very snaky.Copy !req
730. What's— It's snaky?Copy !req
731. They hear from vibrations on the ground.Copy !req
732. Every step we take,Copy !req
733. drawing them closer.Copy !req
734. And when the jungle goes quiet...Copy !req
735. that's when you know they're close.Copy !req
736. Yeah.Copy !req
737. Hey, maybe we should
go back to the boat, huh?Copy !req
738. Think it'd be a good idea to go back
to the boat. Let's go back to the boat.Copy !req
739. Santiago.Copy !req
740. Santiago.Copy !req
741. Santiago!Copy !req
742. Nope.Copy !req
743. Where are you?Copy !req
744. Hey. Have you seen Santiago?
I don't think he's come back.Copy !req
745. - Back? From what?
- We went out to go get a new snake. We—Copy !req
746. You went to find a snake
in the middle of the night?Copy !req
747. Yeah, we need one for the movie.
It was dark. We got separated.Copy !req
748. It was crazy out there.Copy !req
749. - Griff, Griff, Griff, Griff.
- What?Copy !req
750. You went out in the middle of the night
to find a juicy snake in the jungle?Copy !req
751. You know what that's called?Copy !req
752. Producing.Copy !req
753. - Really?
- I guarantee he will be backCopy !req
754. with a giant snake,
and you and I are making movies.Copy !req
755. You're right. Santiago's a pro.
He'll be fine.Copy !req
756. If he's not back soon,
we'll go look for him.Copy !req
757. Thank you very much, Santiago.Copy !req
758. Guys, it's been over an hour.
I have to go find him.Copy !req
759. Well, you're not going alone.Copy !req
760. Yeah, we're definitely coming with you.
It's safer that way.Copy !req
761. Have you guys tried this thing?Copy !req
762. It's like a warm bowl of soup
but... but in chair form.Copy !req
763. Yeah, man. Chairs.Copy !req
764. They, like, hold you, man.Copy !req
765. They literally have arms, right?Copy !req
766. Wow.Copy !req
767. Like when your parents are gone...Copy !req
768. we still have chairs, you know?Copy !req
769. What the hell are you talking about?Copy !req
770. Let's go find Santiago.Copy !req
771. Let's get a snake for our snake movie.Copy !req
772. Yeah, Santiago! Let's go!Copy !req
773. Hey, what direction are we headed in?Copy !req
774. Like, that way.Copy !req
775. Wait. Kenny, are you high right now?Copy !req
776. Yeah, but I'm good. I already peaked.Copy !req
777. Jesus Christ, Kenny.Copy !req
778. We're completely lost.Copy !req
779. Wait. You guys, this way.Copy !req
780. It looks like an old camper van.Copy !req
781. Ana is not on the boat.Copy !req
782. I need you to search the area.Copy !req
783. The men are scared to
go deeper into the jungle.Copy !req
784. I don't care, we have to find her.Copy !req
785. What is that?Copy !req
786. Maybe Santiago's sleeping in there.Copy !req
787. Hola.Copy !req
788. Looks totally abandoned. Anybody home?Copy !req
789. Maybe some food and water.Copy !req
790. Yeah. We could stay here.Copy !req
791. At least tonight.Copy !req
792. Oh, man, there's gotta be snacks in here.Copy !req
793. Oh, my God.Copy !req
794. - Oh, God.
- Santiago!Copy !req
795. Oh, God.Copy !req
796. Dang!Copy !req
797. That's where that guy went!Copy !req
798. Oh, my God. What is out there?Copy !req
799. - We gotta go now!
- Okay. Go, go, go.Copy !req
800. - Let's get out of here.
- Let's go, let's go.Copy !req
801. - We can't let it crush the van.
- Crush the van?Copy !req
802. - It's not working.
- What?Copy !req
803. - It's not—
- Damn it!Copy !req
804. - It's a camper van, probably!
- Oh, God!Copy !req
805. It's got a split-charge battery.Copy !req
806. The relay probably popped off.
It's underneath the hood.Copy !req
807. Kenny, can you fix it?Copy !req
808. Usually I could fix it, yes,
but I'm having—Copy !req
809. I'm still having some visual problems
because of the...Copy !req
810. You did it to me again.Copy !req
811. You did it on the wedding video
and now you're wasted off your ass again.Copy !req
812. I'm really sorry, boss.Copy !req
813. Buffalo sober. You're Buffalo sober.Copy !req
814. Do you have any more?Copy !req
815. Griff, please can you fix it?Copy !req
816. I think I'm better suited
to be our wheel man.Copy !req
817. What are you talking about?
I've always been a better driver than you.Copy !req
818. No, you've been a safer driver.Copy !req
819. I passed the driver's test
on my first try.Copy !req
820. You took three times.Copy !req
821. Yeah, but that was 'cause of yield.Copy !req
822. I didn't know— Now I know what that is.Copy !req
823. Oh, my God. We're gonna die.Copy !req
824. Sorry.Copy !req
825. I'll just fix it.Copy !req
826. - Doug!
- Go, go, go!Copy !req
827. Let me get up. Hey, wait! Stop! Stop!Copy !req
828. Griff, where are you going?
Don't leave without me!Copy !req
829. Oh, shit!Copy !req
830. You saw it, right?Copy !req
831. What was that? They're not
supposed to get that big.Copy !req
832. Oh, God. It was like a dinosaur.Copy !req
833. Hey!Copy !req
834. Hey, maybe we can ask these guys for help.Copy !req
835. - Hey!
- Hey!Copy !req
836. - We have to stop.
- Do not stop the car.Copy !req
837. Ana, what is going on?Copy !req
838. They're illegal gold miners
who patrol the jungles around here.Copy !req
839. These guys are dangerous.Copy !req
840. They'll kill anyone
who crosses into their territory.Copy !req
841. - Oh, shit. They're trying to kill us.
- Fuck!Copy !req
842. Why are they shooting at us?Copy !req
843. Griff, can't you drive any faster.Copy !req
844. Ana, what are you doing?Copy !req
845. - Kenny, are you getting this?
- Yes!Copy !req
846. Keep rolling!Copy !req
847. Griff, faster.Copy !req
848. Only one left.Copy !req
849. - Where is she?
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
850. Where is she?Copy !req
851. Who? Who do... Who do you mean?Copy !req
852. I know there's someone else here.Copy !req
853. So, where is she—Copy !req
854. Let's go, come on.Copy !req
855. We gotta go. Fast.Copy !req
856. Look, I can get you guys out of here.Copy !req
857. All we need to do is keep heading north.Copy !req
858. There's a small airport
about a day and a half from here.Copy !req
859. You can get us home?Copy !req
860. - Yes.
- Get us home.Copy !req
861. I think we gotta call it.Copy !req
862. Man, we've got such good stuff,
and we're so close.Copy !req
863. Really? We're going home?Copy !req
864. Buddy, I know.Copy !req
865. I don't wanna go home empty-handed either.Copy !req
866. But we came out here to make Anaconda,Copy !req
867. and now we're in it.Copy !req
868. Yeah.Copy !req
869. I'm sorry.Copy !req
870. Guys, emergency meeting.Copy !req
871. Cast and crew only. Kenny, sit down.Copy !req
872. - What is that?
- New pages.Copy !req
873. We have some time before the next portCopy !req
874. and I had an idea last night that I think
is just too damn good not to shoot.Copy !req
875. Doug, everybody's pretty burnt, man.Copy !req
876. Just hear me out.
I'm begging you please, Kenny.Copy !req
877. - All right. Sorry, boss.
- Thank you.Copy !req
878. What if you two, on your way
to find the anaconda,Copy !req
879. ran into a total badass
on an incredible quest?Copy !req
880. That's interesting.Copy !req
881. Let me guess,
to expose illegal gold miners?Copy !req
882. Bingo.Copy !req
883. - Raises the stakes.
- Exactly.Copy !req
884. And while they're hunting down
this mythical snake,Copy !req
885. they actually end up
fighting the real villain.Copy !req
886. An even bigger snake.Copy !req
887. - Man.
- Oh, yeah. Yes.Copy !req
888. Man.Copy !req
889. I like this.Copy !req
890. This is good.Copy !req
891. And if we add this element,
it does make the movie much bigger.Copy !req
892. Like, now, it's about something.Copy !req
893. Themes.Copy !req
894. Themes.Copy !req
895. Yeah.Copy !req
896. Okay. You know what, guys?Copy !req
897. I didn't wanna say anything before, but...Copy !req
898. this thing might be an Awards play.Copy !req
899. I mean, the Academy loves social horror.Copy !req
900. - Right?
- Yeah.Copy !req
901. Dude, you could be the white Jordan Peele.Copy !req
902. I was thinking the same thing.Copy !req
903. We've been through so much, you guys.Copy !req
904. Let's finish this movie.Copy !req
905. I'm in.Copy !req
906. - Let's do it.
- Yeah.Copy !req
907. Who are you gonna get to play
this new, awesome character?Copy !req
908. And cut. Yes!Copy !req
909. - Was it good?
- That's what I'm talking about.Copy !req
910. - Nice.
- Yeah.Copy !req
911. - You sure you've never acted before?
- I swear.Copy !req
912. Some of the best acting I've ever seen.Copy !req
913. - You're a natural. You're incredible.
- Thank you.Copy !req
914. Take five. Next up, we got 72.Copy !req
915. - Guys, you see what I'm saying?
- Yeah.Copy !req
916. - She's incredible, right?
- Yeah.Copy !req
917. Hey, a question, though.Copy !req
918. If she saves us, it doesn't really
give my character anything to do.Copy !req
919. Yeah.Copy !req
920. This was supposed to be the moment where
my character starts falling for Derek,Copy !req
921. so he needs to do
something heroic, you know? Unselfish.Copy !req
922. I don't know, you guys,
this just feels like her moment,Copy !req
923. she actually did it in real life.Copy !req
924. But good news, I'm gonna shoot
all the rest on herCopy !req
925. so you guys have the day off.Copy !req
926. See you later.Copy !req
927. Take the day off.Copy !req
928. This is our movie, Griff,
and he's just cutting us out.Copy !req
929. Yep. Welcome to show business, baby.Copy !req
930. You're not in it unless you're getting
screwed over by your friends.Copy !req
931. Yeah.Copy !req
932. You ever wake up and wonder
what the hell have I done with my life?Copy !req
933. Oh, yeah. Like, every day.Copy !req
934. Hey, at least you had the guts
to go after what you wanted.Copy !req
935. - No.
- You think I wanted to go to law school?Copy !req
936. What have I got to show for it though?Copy !req
937. You know what I have?Copy !req
938. I have a terrible apartment
and a 74-year-old room-mate.Copy !req
939. Sometimes I go to Trader Joe's
just to feel air conditioning.Copy !req
940. You at least have a career.Copy !req
941. I mean, what do I have to show for it?Copy !req
942. I've got no family. No career.Copy !req
943. Never done anything that matters.Copy !req
944. No nothing.Copy !req
945. It's never too late.Copy !req
946. Griff, I know you're in there.Copy !req
947. Let's make a movie.Copy !req
948. Hola, amigo.Copy !req
949. Jesus. Come on, get dressed.
We've got a packed day.Copy !req
950. What are you talking about? I am dressed.
I'm dressed really... very nicely.Copy !req
951. All right. Can you just
take a cold shower?Copy !req
952. We gotta film, like, now.Copy !req
953. Here's an idea. You know what
you should call the movie?Copy !req
954. Ana-conda. Get it?Copy !req
955. Ana-conda, 'cause of Ana.Copy !req
956. Can you just get in costume?Copy !req
957. Man, you know what? You wouldn't
even be here if it wasn't for me.Copy !req
958. Without me, you'd still
be stuck in BuffaloCopy !req
959. shooting your bullshit wedding videos.Copy !req
960. Films.Copy !req
961. Yeah, you can tell yourself that.Copy !req
962. My God, you know what?
I vouched for you too.Copy !req
963. Even the rights holders, they're like,
"Who is this guy?"Copy !req
964. I said, "Trust me. He's good."Copy !req
965. What is that?Copy !req
966. Attention, all crew. Let's get prepped
for scene 85, location Bravo.Copy !req
967. Five minutes.Copy !req
968. - Are they making a movie?
- Five minutes to arrival.Copy !req
969. Excuse me, are you guys shooting a movie?Copy !req
970. We're doing a reboot of Anaconda.Copy !req
971. Come again?Copy !req
972. - A reboot of Anaconda.
- Anaconda?Copy !req
973. - Like, Ice Cube Anaconda?
- Yeah.Copy !req
974. Sony is rebooting it.Copy !req
975. I know. No new ideas.Copy !req
976. That's weird.Copy !req
977. So, let me get this straight.Copy !req
978. You don't have the rights to Anaconda?Copy !req
979. No, well, I...Copy !req
980. Not legally.Copy !req
981. And you've never owned the rights
to Anaconda?Copy !req
982. I mean, who owns Anaconda?Copy !req
983. Sony. Sony owns Anaconda.Copy !req
984. Yeah, no, no, I know. I know.Copy !req
985. I mean, like, you know, like,
in the larger sense.Copy !req
986. Why would you tell us
that you had the rightsCopy !req
987. to the goddamn Anaconda franchiseCopy !req
988. when you very much don't have the rights
to the goddamn Anaconda franchise?Copy !req
989. Do we really even need the rights?Copy !req
990. Really? I mean, like, who gives a shit?Copy !req
991. - About IP?
- Yeah.Copy !req
992. Literally everyone.Copy !req
993. That's what big movies are!
That's why we're here!Copy !req
994. - You think that's why we're here?
- Yes, that's why we're here!Copy !req
995. We almost died!Copy !req
996. We're out in the middle
of the goddamn jungle for a lie!Copy !req
997. I had to lie!Copy !req
998. I had to lie to you!
You wouldn't have come otherwise!Copy !req
999. You wouldn't... None of you would have—Copy !req
1000. - Bullshit!
- Not bullshit.Copy !req
1001. It's why you never came out to LA with me
in the first place,Copy !req
1002. even though we had
a whole plan to work together.Copy !req
1003. Your whole life, you've just—
it's been dictated by fear.Copy !req
1004. Griff,Copy !req
1005. you're fired.Copy !req
1006. - What?
- You're fired.Copy !req
1007. No. No, I'm not.Copy !req
1008. You can't fire me. You know why?Copy !req
1009. Because I quit already.Copy !req
1010. Last night.Copy !req
1011. I just didn't tell anybody yet.Copy !req
1012. So...Copy !req
1013. Too bad for you, I guess,
because I already quit.Copy !req
1014. Griff, wait!Copy !req
1015. Where are you even gonna go?Copy !req
1016. To find the Anaconda boat.Copy !req
1017. Maybe they can help me get home.Copy !req
1018. Just think about this. It's not safe.Copy !req
1019. That's a tiny boat.Copy !req
1020. There's a giant snake out there.Copy !req
1021. Please don't do this.Copy !req
1022. Griff.Copy !req
1023. J. Lo?Copy !req
1024. Ice Cube?Copy !req
1025. Jon Voight? Are you in this one?Copy !req
1026. Help me!Copy !req
1027. Help me, man! Help me!Copy !req
1028. - Hey!
- Help me!Copy !req
1029. - It's okay. It's okay.
- Help! Help me!Copy !req
1030. - Calm down. I'll come get you.
- Oh, my...Copy !req
1031. It's okay. You're safe.Copy !req
1032. - You're safe.
- Oh, thank God.Copy !req
1033. Oh, shit! Oh, God!Copy !req
1034. Oh, God!Copy !req
1035. Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!Copy !req
1036. Doug!Copy !req
1037. Doug, what's going on?
Why have we stopped?Copy !req
1038. Well, Ana found a great place
to shoot the next scene.Copy !req
1039. - To shoot?
- The next scene? What?Copy !req
1040. Look. Look, okay, I know.
Losing Griff was hard,Copy !req
1041. but between the four of us,
we can finish this film.Copy !req
1042. I'm not going home empty-handed.Copy !req
1043. Come on, man. Without Griff...Copy !req
1044. That's not part of the plan.Copy !req
1045. Well, plans change
and that's part of film-making too.Copy !req
1046. No, no, Doug, we have to go back for him.Copy !req
1047. - He's not safe out there.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1048. Ana. We need to turn the boat around.Copy !req
1049. We are not turning the boat around.Copy !req
1050. Yeah, we're not turning the boat around.Copy !req
1051. Everyone off the boat now.Copy !req
1052. What's going on?Copy !req
1053. Ana, what are you doing?Copy !req
1054. This definitely isn't the plan.Copy !req
1055. Well, plans change, Doug.Copy !req
1056. Isn't that film-making?Copy !req
1057. And every good film needs
a bit of a twist.Copy !req
1058. Everyone off the boat now!Copy !req
1059. To the dock.Copy !req
1060. You're gonna carry these for me
back to the boat. Let's go.Copy !req
1061. And then what?Copy !req
1062. And then you're gonna shoot us?Copy !req
1063. Now!Copy !req
1064. I'm not going anywhereCopy !req
1065. until you tell me
what's inside these bags.Copy !req
1066. You wanna look at it? Look at it.Copy !req
1067. Wait. Is... Is that...Copy !req
1068. Gold?Copy !req
1069. So you're the miner?
You did all of this for money?Copy !req
1070. Very quick, Claire.Copy !req
1071. No!Copy !req
1072. I'm not gonna be part
of your sick quest for—Copy !req
1073. Holy shit.Copy !req
1074. Drop it.Copy !req
1075. Drop the gun.Copy !req
1076. The gun.Copy !req
1077. Now!Copy !req
1078. Calm down.Copy !req
1079. And you, don't move!Copy !req
1080. I'm with the government.Copy !req
1081. We track illegal gold miners.Copy !req
1082. And Ana here runs one
of the biggest rings in Brazil.Copy !req
1083. This gold can change your life.Copy !req
1084. You think I care about gold?Copy !req
1085. Don't trust anything she says.Copy !req
1086. She's a liar. She's a damn liar.Copy !req
1087. We're film-makers from Buffalo.Copy !req
1088. We're working on a spiritual sequel
to Anaconda,Copy !req
1089. and I don't know if she mentioned that,
but it's not just a reboot,Copy !req
1090. and I kicked out my friend
who had the lead,Copy !req
1091. and I gave her a juicy-ass role,Copy !req
1092. - and this is how she treats—
- Really juicy!Copy !req
1093. Shut up! I don't know what
you're talking about, man.Copy !req
1094. Off-topic. Go, arrest her.Copy !req
1095. Thank God.Copy !req
1096. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1097. Who shot me?Copy !req
1098. That'd be me, asshole.Copy !req
1099. Griff, no. He was a good guy.Copy !req
1100. - I'm a good guy.
- He's a cop.Copy !req
1101. Look, I don't— What?Copy !req
1102. I'm a good guy.Copy !req
1103. Drop it. On your knees now,
the four of you, facing the water.Copy !req
1104. - Wait. I—
- Now.Copy !req
1105. No, no, Ana. Don't do this.Copy !req
1106. You too, Claire. On your knees, now.Copy !req
1107. You don't have to be this person.Copy !req
1108. I have children at home.
They're 10 and 13.Copy !req
1109. Please.Copy !req
1110. Please.Copy !req
1111. Think about what you're doing to my kids.Copy !req
1112. Just shut your mouth. Turn around now.Copy !req
1113. On your knees.Copy !req
1114. Now!Copy !req
1115. - Toma!
- Toma!Copy !req
1116. Eat that shit! Nice!Copy !req
1117. For the record,
that's how you headbutt, bitch!Copy !req
1118. You won't do it.Copy !req
1119. You don't have the balls.
I know you, Claire.Copy !req
1120. You don't know me.Copy !req
1121. I don't even have kids.Copy !req
1122. Jesus Christ!Copy !req
1123. - A snake!
- No. No, wait. Wait.Copy !req
1124. I think the boat is back that way!Copy !req
1125. Yeah, but then so is the snake.
We can't go that way!Copy !req
1126. We gotta take this trail
and get to the high ground.Copy !req
1127. - Wait. What's that?
- What?Copy !req
1128. What?Copy !req
1129. Shit!Copy !req
1130. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1131. - Did it bite you?
- Yeah, you know what, I think it bit me.Copy !req
1132. - I think it got me.
- Dougie, I know it hurts,Copy !req
1133. but we gotta get out of here now
because the snake is out there!Copy !req
1134. I'm sorry, I can't move.
My leg is freaking out.Copy !req
1135. What are we gonna do?Copy !req
1136. We're gonna have to piss on you, man.Copy !req
1137. - Huh?
- On the bite. It's the only way.Copy !req
1138. I thought that was just jellyfish.Copy !req
1139. No, no, no, no. It's all animals.Copy !req
1140. - Are you sure?
- Positive.Copy !req
1141. Someone's gotta piss.
I need one of your pisses.Copy !req
1142. I'd love to be able to help out,
but I'm just—Copy !req
1143. I am drained, tapped, bone-dry.Copy !req
1144. Claire, you wanna take care of this?Copy !req
1145. I'm wearing a onesie.Copy !req
1146. Kenny, we don't have time
to argue about this. You're up.Copy !req
1147. You know this isn't possible.Copy !req
1148. Why not?Copy !req
1149. Because he's...Copy !req
1150. Pee shy.Copy !req
1151. - Pee shy?
- I have urinary stage fright.Copy !req
1152. I haven't been able to pee in public
in 35 years.Copy !req
1153. My life sucks!Copy !req
1154. You can do this.Copy !req
1155. You have to do this.Copy !req
1156. Whizz on me.Copy !req
1157. - You got it, buddy.
- Okay.Copy !req
1158. - Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1159. - You can do it.
- You can do it.Copy !req
1160. - Let it flow.
- Let it flow. Yeah.Copy !req
1161. Just piss on me. Come on. Whizz on me.Copy !req
1162. Whizz on me. Do it. Whizz on me.Copy !req
1163. You... You don't think I want to?Copy !req
1164. I would love to piss all over you, man.Copy !req
1165. But it's not in the cards!Copy !req
1166. - Whizz on me. Now.
- I can't. I'm trying.Copy !req
1167. - You can do it! Whizz on me!
- I'm trying my hardest!Copy !req
1168. - Do it, Ken! Do it, Ken. Do it. Do it.
- That is an order! Whizz on me now!Copy !req
1169. Okay! Okay.Copy !req
1170. You got it, buddy. You do it.Copy !req
1171. - There's one more problem.
- What?Copy !req
1172. I haven't told you about this.Copy !req
1173. I can only pee sitting down.Copy !req
1174. Jesus Christ!Copy !req
1175. I need a chair.Copy !req
1176. Come on, come on, come on.Copy !req
1177. Come on, buddy.Copy !req
1178. Come on, Kenny. Come on, come on.Copy !req
1179. Just do it. Do it!Copy !req
1180. - Come on, buddy.
- Do it.Copy !req
1181. Come on, buddy.Copy !req
1182. - Yeah!
- Yeah!Copy !req
1183. - Yes! Yes! Yes!
- Nice!Copy !req
1184. - Yes! Yeah!
- Yeah! Yeah!Copy !req
1185. Yeah!Copy !req
1186. Griff, I'm sorry about what I said before
on the boat.Copy !req
1187. The truth is, I've been jealous of you
for a long, long time.Copy !req
1188. Jealous?Copy !req
1189. For having the balls
to do what I couldn't.Copy !req
1190. For going after what you wanted.Copy !req
1191. Going to LA and putting yourself on the—Copy !req
1192. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1193. - Oh, shit!
- Doug!Copy !req
1194. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1195. We have to go after him!Copy !req
1196. - We gotta get out of here.
- We do not have a choice. Come on.Copy !req
1197. Griff.Copy !req
1198. Griff.Copy !req
1199. What did I do?Copy !req
1200. I tricked him into coming here,
and now he's dead.Copy !req
1201. No. No. We all chose to be here.Copy !req
1202. I wish it was me.Copy !req
1203. It should be me.Copy !req
1204. This is not your fault,
and we have to keep going.Copy !req
1205. Hey, guys, I think I found out
which way we should go.Copy !req
1206. Hey.Copy !req
1207. It's a...Copy !req
1208. It's a big open field.Copy !req
1209. We gotta get across it
to get to the boat.Copy !req
1210. But we can't just run across.Copy !req
1211. It's too exposed.Copy !req
1212. The snake could come from anywhere.Copy !req
1213. Maybe we can create a distraction.Copy !req
1214. Yeah, yeah, maybe, but, I mean,
how do we do that?Copy !req
1215. I mean, it's gonna be so... What?Copy !req
1216. It's here.Copy !req
1217. What?Copy !req
1218. What?Copy !req
1219. Oh, my God. Doug. Doug, no.Copy !req
1220. Dougie. Dougie.Copy !req
1221. - Come on, man.
- Is he...Copy !req
1222. Jesus Christ.Copy !req
1223. Wait. Wait.Copy !req
1224. Maybe Doug is the distraction.Copy !req
1225. How?Copy !req
1226. I know this is horrible, okay?Copy !req
1227. But if we can drag Doug out
into the field,Copy !req
1228. prop him upCopy !req
1229. and attach the boar to his backCopy !req
1230. wouldn't we make it really hard
for the snake to swallow him?Copy !req
1231. It'll occupy the snake long enough
for us to get across the fieldCopy !req
1232. and get back to the boat.Copy !req
1233. It's a really smart idea.Copy !req
1234. Guys, this is horrible.Copy !req
1235. If it meant saving all of us,
I'm sure Doug would've wanted this.Copy !req
1236. I'm not sure he would've wanted this.Copy !req
1237. Wait.Copy !req
1238. - We gotta go, guys.
- What are you gonna do?Copy !req
1239. What are you doing?Copy !req
1240. Snakes, they love squirrel meat.Copy !req
1241. Wait, the snake is right behind him.Copy !req
1242. I can't...Copy !req
1243. Oh, shit!Copy !req
1244. - He's alive! He's alive!
- He's alive!Copy !req
1245. - I thought you checked his pulse!
- I did!Copy !req
1246. Well, you did a shitty job!Copy !req
1247. What the fuck?Copy !req
1248. - Doug! Watch out! Run!
- Doug! Run!Copy !req
1249. Come on, Doug, run!Copy !req
1250. - Hey!
- Run! Faster!Copy !req
1251. Hey.Copy !req
1252. - Doug, run!
- Doug!Copy !req
1253. What?Copy !req
1254. - He's right behind you!
- What?Copy !req
1255. - Run, Doug!
- Doug!Copy !req
1256. Oh, shit!Copy !req
1257. Shit, shit.Copy !req
1258. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Shit.Copy !req
1259. Oh, shit.Copy !req
1260. - Run!
- Run!Copy !req
1261. - Run, Doug! Run!
- Run!Copy !req
1262. What the hell is on my back?Copy !req
1263. It's a long story! Just run!Copy !req
1264. Shit!Copy !req
1265. God, help me! Jesus!Copy !req
1266. Damn it. This thing's alive!Copy !req
1267. This thing's alive!Copy !req
1268. It's trying to bite me!Copy !req
1269. Doug! Run!Copy !req
1270. Holy shit! Get back to the boat!Copy !req
1271. Get back to the boat! Go!Copy !req
1272. - Boat! Go! Go! Go!
- It was right behind me!Copy !req
1273. - Okay. All right. All right.
- Okay.Copy !req
1274. I think we're okay. I think we're okay.Copy !req
1275. Oh, God.Copy !req
1276. All right. All right. We—Copy !req
1277. What the hell!Copy !req
1278. I thought I was dead.Copy !req
1279. How you doing, Dougie?Copy !req
1280. - I'm okay now.
- Good.Copy !req
1281. I thought we lost you, man.Copy !req
1282. Can I say something?Copy !req
1283. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1284. I think I got so caught up
in wanting to play a hero,Copy !req
1285. that I lost sight of what it is
that's really important to me.Copy !req
1286. And that's just making stuff
with you guys again.Copy !req
1287. Griff, I feel the exact same way.Copy !req
1288. I love you guys.Copy !req
1289. I just have one question.Copy !req
1290. Whose idea was it to put
that dead squirrel in my mouth?Copy !req
1291. It was like a group decision. It wasn't—Copy !req
1292. - Really?
- Yeah, it wasn't like one person.Copy !req
1293. Snakes love squirrel meat.Copy !req
1294. I knew it was your idea!Copy !req
1295. Guys, come on. We gotta keep moving.Copy !req
1296. All right, well, I made a choice
and I'm sticking with it.Copy !req
1297. Holy shit.Copy !req
1298. It's the Anaconda set.Copy !req
1299. What happened? It's destroyed.Copy !req
1300. Hello?Copy !req
1301. Is anyone there? Hello?Copy !req
1302. Can you help us?Copy !req
1303. What? I...Copy !req
1304. What? Again, sorry?Copy !req
1305. Behind you!Copy !req
1306. Holy shit. Ice Cube?Copy !req
1307. Who'd you think it was, Jon Voight?
Let's go.Copy !req
1308. Let's go, let's go, let's go. Now.Copy !req
1309. In here. Get in here, tube socks.Copy !req
1310. We're good.Copy !req
1311. Hey, are you okay?Copy !req
1312. Yeah, I'm all right.
The snake tore up the set.Copy !req
1313. Everybody scattered.
Lamp hit me, I'm down.Copy !req
1314. I get up, nobody there.Copy !req
1315. - What about J. Lo?
- Yeah, and Eric Stoltz?Copy !req
1316. Jenny from the block,
so she gonna be okay,Copy !req
1317. but Eric ain't from the block.Copy !req
1318. - Jesus.
- Damn it.Copy !req
1319. I don't know how we're gonna do it,
but we have to kill it before it kills us.Copy !req
1320. I'm with that, I'm with that.Copy !req
1321. Hey, how were they gonna do it
in your script?Copy !req
1322. I don't know.
The writer never finished the third act.Copy !req
1323. What? You guys started shooting
before you knew the end?Copy !req
1324. Welcome to Hollywood, buttercup.Copy !req
1325. That's what they do.
They just make it up as they go along.Copy !req
1326. What was the general gist?
Do you have any idea? Was anything—Copy !req
1327. All I know is they were
setting up pyrotechnics all through here.Copy !req
1328. Is it still up?Copy !req
1329. It's hooked up,
but I don't know how to work pyro.Copy !req
1330. Kenny, you know how to ignite pyro, right?Copy !req
1331. - Not a problem, boss.
- Hey, hey.Copy !req
1332. I don't know what y'all talking about.
I gotta go save J. Lo and Stoltz.Copy !req
1333. - Okay.
- Really?Copy !req
1334. - You go.
- You're going after them?Copy !req
1335. They the homies, okay?
I can't leave 'em out here with the ops.Copy !req
1336. I got to go and represent.
They my castmates.Copy !req
1337. Actors code. Respect.Copy !req
1338. Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
1339. - Can we get a...
- Do you mind?Copy !req
1340. - We're such fans of everything you do.
- Come on, please.Copy !req
1341. Man, y'all groupied out.
Y'all groupied out. What? Let's go.Copy !req
1342. - Yes!
- Okay. Everybody get in here. Grin. Okay.Copy !req
1343. - Don't post that.
- No, no, no.Copy !req
1344. Can we get one more for safety? I don't
think my face was totally in there.Copy !req
1345. - No, it's fine.
- It's fine, it's fine.Copy !req
1346. - You're gonna need that.
- You sure?Copy !req
1347. Of course.Copy !req
1348. I got another one.Copy !req
1349. All right. Keep it gangster.Copy !req
1350. Legend.Copy !req
1351. You thinking what I'm thinking?Copy !req
1352. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
1353. - It could work, right?
- Hundred per cent.Copy !req
1354. What are you thinking?Copy !req
1355. Just so I'm... Just to make sure
that it's exactly what I'm thinking.Copy !req
1356. Which I'm sure it is, totally. I mean...Copy !req
1357. I'm super sure.Copy !req
1358. I'm thinking about killing that snake.Copy !req
1359. Now see, that's it, that's what...
I was thinking that too.Copy !req
1360. Okay, here's the plan.Copy !req
1361. Griff, you get the detonator from Kenny.Copy !req
1362. Claire, you fire up the generators.Copy !req
1363. Kenny, you set up the cameras.Copy !req
1364. I'll get the golf cart.Copy !req
1365. We'll lure the snake into the pyro fieldCopy !req
1366. and end this thing once and for all.Copy !req
1367. You ready for our big Hollywood ending?Copy !req
1368. - You ready?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1369. Kenny said as soon as we get to the pyro
field, we can detonate these one by one.Copy !req
1370. - Gonna blow this bitch sky-high.
- Sky-freaking-high.Copy !req
1371. Come get us, asshole!Copy !req
1372. Where is he?Copy !req
1373. Oh, shit!Copy !req
1374. - Oh, shit. Oh, shit!
- Oh, shit!Copy !req
1375. - Doesn't this go faster?
- Well, take off the governor.Copy !req
1376. Underneath there.
See if you can rip it off.Copy !req
1377. - Governor?
- The governor! It slows it down.Copy !req
1378. - The hell you talking about, governor?
- I'm talking about golf cart technology!Copy !req
1379. - Where'd it go?
- I don't see it. I don't know where it is.Copy !req
1380. Keep your head on a swivel.Copy !req
1381. I don't see it anywhere.Copy !req
1382. - Whoa!
- Whoa!Copy !req
1383. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1384. Oh, shit.Copy !req
1385. We lost the signal.Copy !req
1386. If we don't get
this thing online in time...Copy !req
1387. Then we're all dead.Copy !req
1388. - Let's go.
- Let's go.Copy !req
1389. Dude, you're actually
a really good driver.Copy !req
1390. Thank you.Copy !req
1391. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1392. Why is there no power?
Why is there no power?Copy !req
1393. Pyro field dead ahead. It's now or never.Copy !req
1394. Armed and ready.Copy !req
1395. - No!
- All right, look.Copy !req
1396. - Look for something like this.
- Like this, okay.Copy !req
1397. Almost there!Copy !req
1398. It's getting closer!
It's getting closer! Oh, God!Copy !req
1399. Go faster!Copy !req
1400. Fuck. Found it!Copy !req
1401. - Can I hit it now?
- Hold. Hold.Copy !req
1402. Now! Hit it now!Copy !req
1403. Die, you giant snake bitch!Copy !req
1404. - What the—
- What?Copy !req
1405. It's not working! It's not working!Copy !req
1406. - Hit all of them.
- I am! I'm hitting every one of 'em!Copy !req
1407. And now we die! Now we die!Copy !req
1408. Why didn't it happen?Copy !req
1409. - Why isn't it...
- I don't know.Copy !req
1410. Oh, wait.Copy !req
1411. I forgot to turn it on.Copy !req
1412. Yes!Copy !req
1413. - Yes! Yes. Yes.
- Yes! Yes!Copy !req
1414. Yeah!Copy !req
1415. Yeah!Copy !req
1416. Did we kill it?Copy !req
1417. - No!
- Why?Copy !req
1418. Come on. The cart's stuck.Copy !req
1419. Oh, shit.Copy !req
1420. - Go!
- Go, go, go.Copy !req
1421. - It's a dead end.
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
1422. Shit.Copy !req
1423. We're all gonna die.Copy !req
1424. Not on my watch, mister.Copy !req
1425. - Oh, man.
- Gross.Copy !req
1426. Griff, no!Copy !req
1427. And that's a wrap on snake.Copy !req
1428. - Thank you very much.
- Thank you.Copy !req
1429. A long time ago,
a group of artists had a visionCopy !req
1430. to one day live their dream
of making a major motion picture.Copy !req
1431. And last year, against all odds,
I'm proud to say that dream was realised.Copy !req
1432. As my friend Kenny likes to say,Copy !req
1433. the snake is a metaphor
for the monsters that come for all of usCopy !req
1434. if our dreams remain unrealised.Copy !req
1435. And to be clear,
there's also a non-metaphor snake.Copy !req
1436. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1437. Quick shout-out
to Claire Simons and Kenny Trent!Copy !req
1438. Better luck next time!Copy !req
1439. While we may not have the rights...Copy !req
1440. We don't have...
We definitely don't have the rights.Copy !req
1441. This is our completely unauthorised,Copy !req
1442. possibly illegal reboot
of the Sony classic film...Copy !req
1443. - Ladies and gentlemen, The Anaconda!
- The Anaconda!Copy !req
1444. Are you Doug McCallister?Copy !req
1445. Uh-huh.Copy !req
1446. You directed
the unauthorised version of AnacondaCopy !req
1447. even though you didn't have the rights?Copy !req
1448. Yeah.Copy !req
1449. I saw your little movie.Copy !req
1450. And I loved it. I loved it.Copy !req
1451. That's why I'm here. I'm here because
we're doing another Anaconda,Copy !req
1452. and I want you to direct it.Copy !req
1453. Are you in?Copy !req
1454. Guys?Copy !req
1455. Griff?Copy !req
1456. I'm alive!
're actually
a really good driver.Copy !req
1457. Thank you.Copy !req
1458. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1459. Why is there no power?
Why is there no power?Copy !req
1460. Pyro field dead ahead. It's now or never.Copy !req
1461. Armed and ready.Copy !req
1462. - No!
- All right, look.Copy !req
1463. - Look for something like this.
- Like this, okay.Copy !req
1464. Almost there!Copy !req
1465. It's getting closer!
It's getting closer! Oh, God!Copy !req
1466. Go faster!Copy !req
1467. Fuck. Found it!Copy !req
1468. - Can I hit it now?
- Hold. Hold.Copy !req
1469. Now! Hit it now!Copy !req
1470. Die, you giant snake bitch!Copy !req
1471. - What the—
- What?Copy !req
1472. It's not working! It's not working!Copy !req
1473. - Hit all of them.
- I am! I'm hitting every one of 'em!Copy !req
1474. And now we die! Now we die!Copy !req
1475. Why didn't it happen?Copy !req
1476. - Why isn't it...
- I don't know.Copy !req
1477. Oh, wait.Copy !req
1478. I forgot to turn it on.Copy !req
1479. Yes!Copy !req
1480. Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
1481. - Yes! Yes. Yes.
- Yes! Yes!Copy !req
1482. Yeah!Copy !req
1483. Yeah!Copy !req
1484. Did we kill it?Copy !req
1485. - No!
- Ah! Why?Copy !req
1486. Come on. The cart's stuck.Copy !req
1487. Oh, shit.Copy !req
1488. - Go!
- Go, go, go.Copy !req
1489. - It's a dead end.
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
1490. Oh, shit.Copy !req
1491. We're all gonna die.Copy !req
1492. Not on my watch, mister.Copy !req
1493. Ah!Copy !req
1494. - Oh, man.
- Gross.Copy !req
1495. Griff, no!Copy !req
1496. And that's a wrap on snake.Copy !req
1497. - Thank you very much.
- Thank you.Copy !req
1498. A long time ago,
a group of artists had a visionCopy !req
1499. to one day live their dream
of making a major motion picture.Copy !req
1500. And last year, against all odds,
I'm proud to say that dream was realized.Copy !req
1501. As my friend Kenny likes to say,Copy !req
1502. the snake is a metaphor
for the monsters that come for all of usCopy !req
1503. if our dreams remain unrealized.Copy !req
1504. And to be clear,
there's also a non-metaphor snake.Copy !req
1505. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1506. Quick shoutout
to Claire Simons and Kenny Trent!Copy !req
1507. Better luck next time!Copy !req
1508. While we may not have the rights...Copy !req
1509. We don't have...
We definitely don't have the rights.Copy !req
1510. This is our completely unauthorized...Copy !req
1511. possibly illegal reboot
of the Sony classic film...Copy !req
1512. - Ladies and gentlemen, The Anaconda!
- The Anaconda!Copy !req
1513. Ho!Copy !req
1514. Oh!Copy !req
1515. Are you Doug McCallister?Copy !req
1516. Uh-huh.Copy !req
1517. You directed
the unauthorized version of AnacondaCopy !req
1518. even though you didn't have the rights?Copy !req
1519. Yeah.Copy !req
1520. I saw your little movie.Copy !req
1521. And I loved it. I loved it.Copy !req
1522. That's why I'm here. I'm here because
we're doing another Anaconda,Copy !req
1523. and I want you to direct it.Copy !req
1524. Are you in?Copy !req
1525. Guys?Copy !req
1526. Griff?Copy !req
1527. I'm alive!Copy !req