1. Well, Michelle, we did it.
Happy graduation.Copy !req
2. You know,
living at my parents' house,Copy !req
3. that's a temporary thing.Copy !req
4. We've been going out for,
what, three years.Copy !req
5. You're not,
like, getting bored
with things, are you?Copy !req
6. Michelle, I'm gonna
ask you somethingCopy !req
7. that I've never
asked you before.Copy !req
8. Is it kinky?Copy !req
9. I don't think so. No.Copy !req
10. You don't have
to be embarrassedCopy !req
11. if you wanna
add more spiciness
to our relationship.Copy !req
12. Actually,Copy !req
13. maybe you could just,
you know,Copy !req
14. use your napkin.Copy !req
15. My napkin?Copy !req
16. Mr. Levenstein?
Yes.Copy !req
17. You have a phone call.
Excuse me.Copy !req
18. Thank you.Copy !req
19. Hello?
Jim, it's Dad.Copy !req
20. You left the ring at home.Copy !req
21. The box is empty.
But I'm on my way,Copy !req
22. and I've got the ring,
so don't panic, Son.
Okay? Bye.Copy !req
23. Who was that?Copy !req
24. Uh...Copy !req
25. That was my dad.
That was my dad.Copy !req
26. He couldn't get through on...
I didn't answer my cell,Copy !req
27. so he was
getting all worried.
You know how he is.Copy !req
28. But everything is okay now.
Everything is perfectly fine.Copy !req
29. I think I know what
you're gonna ask me.Copy !req
30. That's okay. I don't
have to use my napkin.Copy !req
31. What?Copy !req
32. I've got my own techniques.Copy !req
33. Michelle, where you going?
Michelle?Copy !req
34. Okay.Copy !req
35. Michelle. Okay.Copy !req
36. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, Michelle.Copy !req
37. Psst!Copy !req
38. I think you need to stop.
Okay, keep going.Copy !req
39. Oh, my God. Michelle?Copy !req
40. Michelle...Copy !req
41. Oh, my God.Copy !req
42. Okay.Copy !req
43. Well, I made it.Copy !req
44. Where's Michelle? Washroom?Copy !req
45. I was so nervous
she was gonna spot me.Copy !req
46. Here's the ring, Son.
Oh!Copy !req
47. Let me tell you something.
This is some ring.Copy !req
48. Look at the rock
on this baby,
Mr. Big Spender.Copy !req
49. I hope you
didn't blow your wad
on this, Son.Copy !req
50. Not yet.Copy !req
51. Your mother and I
could not be more thrilled
for you, Jim.Copy !req
52. I mean, we're so happy.Copy !req
53. And I know you're excited,
I can see it in your face.Copy !req
54. I mean, you look like
you're ready to burst.Copy !req
55. I mean, your cheeks,
they're flush.Copy !req
56. I wish your mother
could be here.Copy !req
57. Not me.
That's what I wish.Copy !req
58. You know, this is one
of those moments, Jim,Copy !req
59. that you're gonna remember
for the rest of your life.Copy !req
60. Yes, it is.Copy !req
61. You bet it is.Copy !req
62. I cannot believe my son
is gonna pop the question.Copy !req
63. What was that?Copy !req
64. That?Copy !req
65. Knocking on wood.
What is this...
Popping what? What question?Copy !req
66. You're a wreck.Copy !req
67. What?Copy !req
68. You need some air.
You need some air.
Okay, walk me to my car.Copy !req
69. No, I'm not walking...Copy !req
70. Listen to me!
It's for your good.Copy !req
71. Dad.Copy !req
72. Oh! Son!
My pants!Copy !req
73. Your penis!Copy !req
74. I got my pants, Dad!Copy !req
75. What the hell...Copy !req
76. Jeez! God, Dad.Copy !req
77. Wear your pants.Copy !req
78. I got the pants!
What are you doing?Copy !req
79. He had abdominal cramps...Copy !req
80. I can explain all this.Copy !req
81. Everybody calm
down here, quiet!Copy !req
82. Lower your voice.Copy !req
83. Disgusting.Copy !req
84. Now,Copy !req
85. I came here to do something,Copy !req
86. and damn it,
I'm gonna do it.Copy !req
87. Michelle?Copy !req
88. Hello, dear.Copy !req
89. Michelle Annabeth Flaherty,Copy !req
90. I love youCopy !req
91. more than I could
ever explain
at this particular moment.Copy !req
92. Dad, the ring.Copy !req
93. Oh.Copy !req
94. Will you marry me?Copy !req
95. Yes.Copy !req
96. My son.Copy !req
97. I'm the happiest
man in the world.Copy !req
98. We should all be so happy.Copy !req
99. Cheers. Gentlemen.
Sweetheart.Copy !req
100. I'm impressed.Copy !req
101. Marriage is a binding,Copy !req
102. unifying, eternal,Copy !req
103. never-ending,
permanent chaining
together of two people.Copy !req
104. Jim, have you
thought this through?Copy !req
105. Yes.Copy !req
106. Finch, thank you.
I had been trying to
figure it out for a while.Copy !req
107. You know,
when is the right time?
Is there a right time?Copy !req
108. Then finally I realized,
"Duh, you love the girl.
Marry her."Copy !req
109. Aw.Copy !req
110. Oh! Let's dance.Copy !req
111. Dance? No.Copy !req
112. No, you have
to learn sometime.
Come on.Copy !req
113. Don't laugh at me.Copy !req
114. Yeah, okay.Copy !req
115. Just glad that's not me.Copy !req
116. Finch,Copy !req
117. you don't think
there's one girlCopy !req
118. you're destined
to spend your
entire life with?Copy !req
119. They're all for me, Kevin.Copy !req
120. Not so bad? All right.Copy !req
121. Do this.Copy !req
122. I'm sorry.Copy !req
123. The wedding should be
rather entertaining.Copy !req
124. Bro, that's it?Copy !req
125. There's no keg anywhere.Copy !req
126. Jim.
Hey, John.Copy !req
127. The food and
the drink are really bad.Copy !req
128. "F" for presentation.
The good news for you...Copy !req
129. What's that?Copy !req
130. We're gonna be
ushers at the wedding.Copy !req
131. This is amazing.
I don't recognize half
the people in this place.Copy !req
132. At least they
all brought gifts.Copy !req
133. Hello.Copy !req
134. Hello. I'm Mary Flaherty.Copy !req
135. Oh! Hello!Copy !req
136. Harold Flaherty.Copy !req
137. Hi.
How lovely to meet you.Copy !req
138. Please come in.
We've been expecting you.Copy !req
139. How was your trip?Copy !req
140. Delightful.Copy !req
141. Who's excited
about the wedding?Copy !req
142. Anxious might
be more accurate.Copy !req
143. We've never met your son.Copy !req
144. You'll get to meet him.Copy !req
145. Rudy and Sam would
like to meet him, too.Copy !req
146. Better bring them
in from the car.Copy !req
147. They've been
cooped up for hours.Copy !req
148. For heaven's sake.
You brought your sons?Copy !req
149. Our dogs.Copy !req
150. We never travel without them.Copy !req
151. Oh, my goodness.Copy !req
152. Well, honey, why don't
you go get those
critters out of the carCopy !req
153. and we'll start
on some cocktails.Copy !req
154. Thank you.Copy !req
155. I'd love one.
Long trip?Copy !req
156. I'll get the dogs.Copy !req
157. There's one thing
that'll make this
wedding perfect.Copy !req
158. No Stifler.Copy !req
159. That's one dick
we are not inviting.Copy !req
160. Motion seconded.Copy !req
161. Motion carried.Copy !req
162. So, Finch,
what are you gonna do with
that fancy NYU diploma?Copy !req
163. I'll frame it.Copy !req
164. Then I'll write my memoirs.Copy !req
165. You should come
to law school, man.Copy !req
166. You know I could
use the company.Copy !req
167. Kids,
Michelle's parents are here.
Come on, we're waiting.Copy !req
168. Oh, crumbs on the shirt.
That's bad.Copy !req
169. Okay, that's fine.
I'll change. I'll change.Copy !req
170. Fuckers!Copy !req
171. Well, polish my nuts
and serve me a milkshake.Copy !req
172. What's up?Copy !req
173. That's right.Copy !req
174. Oh! Cake?
Hope it's good.Copy !req
175. Oh, gee.Copy !req
176. Thanks for inviting me
to the graduation party,
fucker.Copy !req
177. Oh! Fucking right, doggy.
That's good cake! Holy shit!Copy !req
178. Hi. How are you?
Congratulations.Copy !req
179. Hey...Copy !req
180. "Congratulation, Jism!"Copy !req
181. Excuse me. Stifler?Copy !req
182. Hey, Jim!Copy !req
183. Stifler,
what are you doing here?Copy !req
184. Okay, man...Copy !req
185. Happy fuckday, assmouth!Copy !req
186. Put the cake down.Copy !req
187. Check it out.
I made it all by myself.Copy !req
188. Cute.
What happened to my invite?Copy !req
189. Got lost in the mail,
fuckface?Copy !req
190. Quiet!Copy !req
191. Bite yourself.
That's what I thought.Copy !req
192. I think I can
spell "Cajun Rectum."Copy !req
193. Seriously, man.Copy !req
194. Oh, Jesus.Copy !req
195. Damn it, Stifler.Copy !req
196. Jim, look what you did!Copy !req
197. Look what I did?Copy !req
198. Look at this shit!
What am I supposed to do now?Copy !req
199. Are you happy now, man?
Why are you here?Copy !req
200. My dick looks like
a corn dog.Copy !req
201. I got cake
all over my balls.Copy !req
202. Jim, honey?Copy !req
203. Shit.Copy !req
204. The Flahertys are waiting.Copy !req
205. Do you think
he's upstairs, honey?Copy !req
206. Oh, you're fucked now, Jim.Copy !req
207. Stifler, get up.Copy !req
208. This dog's great!Copy !req
209. Is it weird
that it feels good?Copy !req
210. All right...Copy !req
211. What about the dining room?Copy !req
212. I know you'll just love him.Copy !req
213. Jesus, Stifler.Copy !req
214. Stop enjoying it so much.Copy !req
215. Lick it up!Copy !req
216. You little shit.
Take your pants off, man.Copy !req
217. Good Lord!Copy !req
218. Oh, God!
Jim?Copy !req
219. No, it's not
what it looks like.Copy !req
220. What are you doing, Son?Copy !req
221. My dogs!
Don't go in there, darling!Copy !req
222. Lord knows what
they'll do to you!Copy !req
223. I love this dog!Copy !req
224. I was trying to
get him off, Dad.Copy !req
225. That is your son?Copy !req
226. Back away from the animal.Copy !req
227. Mr. And Mrs. Flaherty,
I presume.Copy !req
228. Where are you going?Copy !req
229. Well, lunch is served.Copy !req
230. I really hopeCopy !req
231. That we can all
just forget about this,
and move on, and start again.Copy !req
232. Start again fresh.Copy !req
233. Jim, if you hope to be
the provider and protectorCopy !req
234. for our firstborn daughter,Copy !req
235. you have a long way to go.Copy !req
236. Thank you, sir.Copy !req
237. They think
you're an angelCopy !req
238. and I'm just some
ungrateful dog rapist.Copy !req
239. They just think they raised
the proper little band girl.Copy !req
240. And, besides, sometimesCopy !req
241. it's nice to be
more traditional.Copy !req
242. How so? How do
you mean traditional?Copy !req
243. I'm thinking
about the wedding.Copy !req
244. How it's just this one day,Copy !req
245. one day where
everyone's eyes are
on me for a change.Copy !req
246. I've just never
walked into a roomCopy !req
247. and had everyone go,
"Ooh" and "Ah"Copy !req
248. and "Isn't she elegant?"Copy !req
249. That is exactly
how our wedding
is going to be.Copy !req
250. I promise.Copy !req
251. Shit. I got a frosted
ass crack. Hey, Finch?Copy !req
252. You want this
for here or to go?Copy !req
253. "A witty saying
proves nothing." Voltaire.Copy !req
254. "Suck my dick." Ron Jeremy.Copy !req
255. Boys, anybody seen
the bride's parents?Copy !req
256. No? Hmm.Copy !req
257. Wait a second.Copy !req
258. Come on, Stifler.Copy !req
259. This isn't
a graduation party.Copy !req
260. It's time to go.Copy !req
261. Wait, hold on!
Jim's getting married,
isn't he?Copy !req
262. Holy fucking shit!
This is major!Copy !req
263. Do you have the slightest idea
how important this is?Copy !req
264. We get to have
a bachelor party. Yes!Copy !req
265. We celebrate the death of Jim
with a party in his honor.Copy !req
266. Chicks and boobs.
Tits and ass.Copy !req
267. Titties, ta-tas,
casabas, bazoongas,Copy !req
268. all up in our frigging faces!Copy !req
269. Come on, buck up, fellows!
Show some enthusiasm!Copy !req
270. It's gonna be fucking great!
Oh, my God!Copy !req
271. Finch,
he does make a good point.Copy !req
272. Yeah, he does.Copy !req
273. You never heard me say that.Copy !req
274. I do not deserve
a girl this cool.Copy !req
275. Michelle said the wedding
was doable, right?Copy !req
276. A wedding. A wedding, yeah.Copy !req
277. I promised her her wedding.
You know, the wedding
of her dreams.Copy !req
278. Okay, what's the problem?Copy !req
279. Dancing.Copy !req
280. She's gonna want to dance.
There's that whole tradition.Copy !req
281. The first dance
at the reception.Copy !req
282. She is gonna wanna dance
Fred Astaire kind of shit.Copy !req
283. I can't do that.Copy !req
284. She learned all
that from band camp.Copy !req
285. Okay, so you take lessons,
you know. Right away.Copy !req
286. Lessons. Okay.
I have to convinceCopy !req
287. her parents that
I'm not a shithead.Copy !req
288. Yeah, challenging.Copy !req
289. Indeed challenging.Copy !req
290. But doable. What else?Copy !req
291. What else?
I don't know what else.
That's the thing.Copy !req
292. She cares
too much to tell me.Copy !req
293. She doesn't want me to worry
that she might be worried.Copy !req
294. So I'm worried.Copy !req
295. Recon.Copy !req
296. You mean, like,
spying on Michelle?Copy !req
297. Spying is deceitful.Copy !req
298. Extra attention
means you're concerned.Copy !req
299. This is true.
This is good.Copy !req
300. Guys,Copy !req
301. here's to the next step.Copy !req
302. Shut up with that stepping.Copy !req
303. Put your glass down.Copy !req
304. We'll find a wonderful one
somewhere, I promise.Copy !req
305. We'll keep looking.Copy !req
306. Is everything okay here?
The study can get a little
chilly sometimes.Copy !req
307. You have enough blankets?Copy !req
308. We're fine. Thank you.Copy !req
309. I was kind of hopingCopy !req
310. that someday soon,
we could have a little talk.Copy !req
311. I'd really like to tell youCopy !req
312. why I think I'll make
a good husband,Copy !req
313. whenever you get a chance.Copy !req
314. Oh! Why is that?Copy !req
315. Come on.Copy !req
316. See, I was saying
that soon we could talk.Copy !req
317. This right now is sort
of the preliminary talkCopy !req
318. before the future
longer talk,Copy !req
319. which would be like a quiet,Copy !req
320. a private dinner talk.Copy !req
321. Let him finish.Copy !req
322. I'm talking to you.Copy !req
323. Okay.Copy !req
324. Good talking to you.Copy !req
325. No. These aren't gonna work.Copy !req
326. Wow!Copy !req
327. You guys in
a sporting goods store.
Very good.Copy !req
328. Hey, Finch,Copy !req
329. I think they got your size.Copy !req
330. Oh, beautiful.Copy !req
331. Jim needs to learn to
dance for his wedding.Copy !req
332. You know,
I think he's screwed.Copy !req
333. Of course he's screwed.
He's getting married.Copy !req
334. I can't wait to
see this disaster.Copy !req
335. What makes you think
you're invited?Copy !req
336. I already called up
Jim's mom. Got the info.Copy !req
337. I'm preparing for
the festivities.Copy !req
338. It's time for me to boom-boom
with the bridesmaids,
Finchfucker.Copy !req
339. 'Cause I'm gonna hang out
with my wang out.Copy !req
340. And I'm gonna rock out
with my cock out!Copy !req
341. Yeah, that's what
I'm talking about.Copy !req
342. All right, Stifler.Copy !req
343. This is a little
difficult to explain.Copy !req
344. Look, you're okay.
You're okay.Copy !req
345. I mean, I like you.Copy !req
346. Yeah, great.Copy !req
347. You can blow me
after practice.
I'm working, dude.Copy !req
348. Come on! Work it! Hustle!Copy !req
349. See, my mom
didn't know that...Copy !req
350. Push it! Move it! Come on!Copy !req
351. There was a misunderstanding.Copy !req
352. You're not invited!Copy !req
353. Hold!Copy !req
354. Dude, how the hell
do you even think
you're getting married?Copy !req
355. I've been looking out
for your sex life
since high school.Copy !req
356. You what?
Oh! Oh!Copy !req
357. The first tits
this guy ever saw
were because of me!Copy !req
358. The first girl
he ever hooked up withCopy !req
359. was at my party,
at my cottage!Copy !req
360. That girl's
the girl he's marrying.Copy !req
361. The Stiffman
showed him the way.Copy !req
362. Can I get a hallelujah?Copy !req
363. Hallelujah, Stifler!Copy !req
364. But, my fuckers,Copy !req
365. this mofo right here
does not want
the Stifmeister,Copy !req
366. the Grand fucking Facilitator
to attend the wedding.Copy !req
367. Who sucks donkey dick?Copy !req
368. Jim sucks donkey dick!Copy !req
369. The answer's no, okay?
I'm sorry.Copy !req
370. The answer's no.Copy !req
371. I can dance.Copy !req
372. What?Copy !req
373. I can dance.Copy !req
374. Five, six, seven, eight...Copy !req
375. Okay. What exactly
is this here?Copy !req
376. Left box turn.Copy !req
377. Left box turn. Okay.Copy !req
378. Hi. Stop looking
into my eyes.Copy !req
379. Sorry. Sorry.Copy !req
380. Now how do you know this?
How do you know
how to do this?Copy !req
381. My mom made me take it
for three fuckin' years.Copy !req
382. Yeah?
I hated it.Copy !req
383. No, you're really good.
You should take
ballet or something.Copy !req
384. Fuckface!Copy !req
385. What part of
"this sucks my ass"Copy !req
386. do you not
under-fuckin'-stand?Copy !req
387. This is exactly
what I'm talking about,
Steven.Copy !req
388. You can't behave like this.
If you wanna
come to the wedding,Copy !req
389. I'm sorry,
you cannot act like this.Copy !req
390. Are you saying
I'm impolite or something?Copy !req
391. Impolite would
be an improvement.Copy !req
392. Look, just try not to be,Copy !req
393. you know, you.Copy !req
394. Fuck this shit.
It's not worth it.Copy !req
395. Wait, Stifler. Hold on.Copy !req
396. Okay, what if you planned
the bachelor party?Copy !req
397. With a dildo show?Copy !req
398. Sure. If you can
find the time to fit it in,
go ahead.Copy !req
399. Surprise me.
Sorry, chief.Copy !req
400. It only gets
you halfway there.Copy !req
401. What do you mean?Copy !req
402. I need assurances that
I'm gonna get some quality
action at this wedding.Copy !req
403. I'm sorry,
I can't make that promise.Copy !req
404. Well, let me put it
to you this way, Jimbo.Copy !req
405. No pussy, no dancing. Okay?Copy !req
406. No pussy, no dancing.Copy !req
407. How's that for polite?Copy !req
408. Jim, your suspicions
are confirmed.Copy !req
409. Michelle wants a dress
that she can't get.Copy !req
410. The dress she wants is Amsale.
They have a store in Chicago.Copy !req
411. If we leave right now,
we can get there by
the time they close.Copy !req
412. It's a three-hour drive.Copy !req
413. Three-hour drive?Copy !req
414. Kick fucking ass!
Are we going to Chicago
to see titties?Copy !req
415. We are talking about
getting Michelle
a dress in Chicago.Copy !req
416. Now, please vanish.Copy !req
417. Hey, Finch, what's
the capital of Thailand?Copy !req
418. Bang cock.Copy !req
419. Dude...
Okay, I got shotgun.Copy !req
420. Let's get this
dress shit over with.Copy !req
421. The strip bar's
got free hot wings
before 7:00.Copy !req
422. Now, Jim, let me handle this.
These are my people.Copy !req
423. They're gay?Copy !req
424. No, you bleeding imbecile,Copy !req
425. they have style.
They're cultured.
They're sophisticated.Copy !req
426. So they're gay.Copy !req
427. So, mademoiselle,
I'm sure that
you can appreciateCopy !req
428. that monsieur here
is stuck right between
Scylla and Charybdis.Copy !req
429. Yes, I'm afraid
he's no Ulysses.Copy !req
430. Okay, what's happening here?Copy !req
431. You need to speak
to my dressmaker.Copy !req
432. That's who would
actually make the dress,Copy !req
433. and I'm afraid Leslie
has gone for the day.Copy !req
434. All right, she said
she'd probably be atCopy !req
435. one of these bars
here on Halstead.Copy !req
436. I say we split up, ask around
for a Leslie Summers.Copy !req
437. Right.Copy !req
438. Hey there,
sweet little thing.Copy !req
439. Hey there,
you sweet manly thing.Copy !req
440. You know,
I really love your shirt.Copy !req
441. Do I know you?Copy !req
442. I'm Jennifer.Copy !req
443. Well, Jennifer,
just relax, take it slow,
and let the good times roll,Copy !req
444. because Daddy's
a regular here!Copy !req
445. Do you wanna get a drink?Copy !req
446. You're goddamn right I do.Copy !req
447. Two cold ones.Copy !req
448. You know, my friend would
really dig your vibe.Copy !req
449. Will you wait here?Copy !req
450. Sure thing, babe.Copy !req
451. Good.
All right.Copy !req
452. How you feeling, sexy?Copy !req
453. Pretty good.Copy !req
454. Whoa! You have a deep voice.Copy !req
455. That's not all.Copy !req
456. Oh! Right.Copy !req
457. You look
really cute tonight.Copy !req
458. Thanks. I guess.Copy !req
459. What the...Copy !req
460. Oh, hey!
Feeling a little frisky?Copy !req
461. Oh!Copy !req
462. Game over.
What's happening here?Copy !req
463. Hey. Any luck?Copy !req
464. Not so much.Copy !req
465. All right, let's...Copy !req
466. This is Bear.Copy !req
467. Hey!Copy !req
468. Wow, you are a bear.Copy !req
469. Yeah.Copy !req
470. How much you bench?Copy !req
471. How much you weigh?Copy !req
472. Why? You wanna try
and pick me up?Copy !req
473. Yeah, I think I could.Copy !req
474. Yeah, I bet you could.Copy !req
475. You are big.
I could use a guy
like you on my team.Copy !req
476. Are you talking
about our team?
Or an actual team?Copy !req
477. What the hell is "our team"?
Hi, where's the girl?Copy !req
478. What the fuck
are we talking about?Copy !req
479. You need to take
another look around.Copy !req
480. You look fabulous!Copy !req
481. Hey, honey.Copy !req
482. Oh, my God.
What the fuck is going on?Copy !req
483. Come on,
is that all you've got?Copy !req
484. Pussy!Copy !req
485. I must have came
to the wrong place.
Stifler.Copy !req
486. Stifler.
Oh, man.Copy !req
487. Hey.
It's so good to see you.Copy !req
488. How did you get up the nerve
to check out a gay bar?Copy !req
489. Really don't wanna
talk about it right now.
I just wanna go home.Copy !req
490. Your friend here
was just leaving.Copy !req
491. Eat shit.Copy !req
492. Did you find Leslie?Copy !req
493. Fuck your stupid dressmaker.Copy !req
494. You guys know Leslie Summers?Copy !req
495. We're trying to find her.Copy !req
496. You know what?
I think you guys
are out of luck.Copy !req
497. Why don't you go home?Copy !req
498. No. You know Leslie Summers?
He knows her.Copy !req
499. My friends and I,
we just drove
all the way from MichiganCopy !req
500. to find my fiancée
the wedding dress
that she deserves.Copy !req
501. We need Leslie
to make it for us.Copy !req
502. Can you please
help us find her?Copy !req
503. I'm sure Leslie always helps
associates of assholes.Copy !req
504. What are you looking at?
I'm not a steak.Copy !req
505. Listen, breeder,
not every gay man wants
to have sex with you.Copy !req
506. Yeah? Listen up, ass jockey.
If I were gay, you'd want me!Copy !req
507. Really?
Really.Copy !req
508. I got style. I'm cultured.
I'm sophisticated.Copy !req
509. And all that just radiates
from your oh-so-sexy self.Copy !req
510. That's bullshit.
Everyone wants a piece
of the Stifmeister.Copy !req
511. Yeah, right!Copy !req
512. Without a doubt.Copy !req
513. I'll show you fuckers.
Bye.Copy !req
514. Everybody say bye.
Bye.Copy !req
515. Bye.Copy !req
516. Good luck with the dress.Copy !req
517. Give us a drink.Copy !req
518. Mother of God.Copy !req
519. Bitch!Copy !req
520. What is this, a dance-off?Copy !req
521. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
522. I love you!Copy !req
523. What?Copy !req
524. Fabulous. Seeing that
was worth anything.Copy !req
525. Look, I'm Leslie Summers
and you've got yourself
a dress.Copy !req
526. Oh, my God.
Thank you. Thank you.Copy !req
527. Yeah, no problem.
Say, who's your friend?Copy !req
528. Kevin.Copy !req
529. Was that the best
night ever or what?Copy !req
530. Are you kidding me?Copy !req
531. Yeah, it was amazing.Copy !req
532. Hey, guys!Copy !req
533. When you get your
bachelor party together,
I manage some girls in town.Copy !req
534. Real ones.Copy !req
535. All right.Copy !req
536. Call me.Copy !req
537. Damn, Stiffy,
you got some moves.Copy !req
538. I told you that guy
wanted to fuck me.Copy !req
539. I can't believe this.
They're really gonna
make the dress for me?Copy !req
540. They're expecting your call.
Go ahead.Copy !req
541. This is so cool.
I love you.Copy !req
542. Thank you.Copy !req
543. Well, that worked out.Copy !req
544. Maybe it's time
we had that special
dinner chat.Copy !req
545. I'll have turkey.Copy !req
546. Thanks for helping out.Copy !req
547. We're so close
and there's still
so much to do.Copy !req
548. Cadence!Copy !req
549. Hey!
Hi!Copy !req
550. Cadence, this is Paul Finch.
Finch, meet my
younger sister, Cadence.Copy !req
551. Nice to meet you.Copy !req
552. You're reading Descartes.Copy !req
553. Yeah. Cogito ergo sum.
"I think, therefore I am."Copy !req
554. Hungry.Copy !req
555. So, when's Mark getting in?Copy !req
556. Let's see.
That would be never.Copy !req
557. Did you guys break up?Copy !req
558. How tragic.Copy !req
559. Sorry, Paul Finch.
Girl stuff.Copy !req
560. Just stay calm.Copy !req
561. I'm available,
she's available.
It's all good.Copy !req
562. She's a beautiful girl,
and you're you.Copy !req
563. Spill it, sister.
What's the problem?Copy !req
564. I dumped him.Copy !req
565. But it was Mark.
I thought you really
liked him. He was nice.Copy !req
566. Yeah, but sometimes
nice isn't so nice.Copy !req
567. Wait. Hold on.
Let me get this straight.Copy !req
568. He didn't want to do it.Copy !req
569. He said he didn't
want to ruin what we hadCopy !req
570. by deflowering ourselves.Copy !req
571. Who the hell uses
the word "deflower"?Copy !req
572. It's like
something Mom would say.Copy !req
573. Yeah.Copy !req
574. And I'm starting to realize
Mom and Dad's idea of
appropriate behaviorCopy !req
575. might be a little bit
different than mine.Copy !req
576. Mish, you're in love.
Shh.Copy !req
577. You're getting married.
I mean, what's this like?Copy !req
578. It's like it's...Copy !req
579. I'm never going to
be able to explain it.Copy !req
580. I wanted us to
write our own vows
for the weddingCopy !req
581. and now I can't do mine.Copy !req
582. How do you explain love?Copy !req
583. I guess I wouldn't know.Copy !req
584. I don't think
I've ever felt
that way about a guy.Copy !req
585. Someday you will.Copy !req
586. Maybe.Copy !req
587. But in the meantime,
I don't think it would hurtCopy !req
588. to get a little
rowdy this weekend.Copy !req
589. Jim's got
single friends, right?
Is Finch a possibility?Copy !req
590. Finch is bonable.Copy !req
591. Yes, he is bonable.Copy !req
592. Dickhead. Do not send shit
to my office at school.Copy !req
593. Hey, Stifler, why don't
you come in and make
yourself comfortable?Copy !req
594. Your letter made
a great impressionCopy !req
595. on Coach Marshall
when he read it.Copy !req
596. Let me refresh
your memory, partner.Copy !req
597. "Dear Steve, I will
be forever in your debt
if you teach me to danceCopy !req
598. "like you did
in the gay bar."Copy !req
599. I put serious thought
into that letter.Copy !req
600. Don't push me,
'cause I'm close to the edge.Copy !req
601. I'm trying not
to lose my head.Copy !req
602. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.Copy !req
603. These are really
nice for a bridesmaid dress.Copy !req
604. At least something
you can actually wear again.Copy !req
605. You don't think
it's too sexy, do you?Copy !req
606. I mean, I don't want to seem
slutty or anything.Copy !req
607. I'm trying to
attract a decent guy here.Copy !req
608. It's a wedding.
They'll all be decent guys.Copy !req
609. I just don't feel
quite like a virgin in it.Copy !req
610. Oh!Copy !req
611. So, you guys
have to be psyched
to be done with college.Copy !req
612. I mean, I swear,
I'm running out of room
in my brain for everything.Copy !req
613. There's always room
for Plato and Aristotle.Copy !req
614. Some of my favorites.Copy !req
615. Excuse me, guys.Copy !req
616. Finch, she thinks
you were being sarcastic.Copy !req
617. Okay.
It's so good to see you.Copy !req
618. You want some help?
Here, let me help
you out there.Copy !req
619. There you go.
You keep fighting
the good fight, sir.Copy !req
620. That's great.Copy !req
621. That was really
sweet of you.Copy !req
622. Yeah.Copy !req
623. I love old people, you know?Copy !req
624. Hey, I hate to be
nosy and impolite,Copy !req
625. but do you know
Jim Levenstein
and Michelle Flaherty?Copy !req
626. Yeah.
Are they here?Copy !req
627. Well, I'm Cadence,
Michelle's sister.Copy !req
628. I had no idea. I'm their
good friend, Steven.Copy !req
629. Nice to meet you.Copy !req
630. Yeah, you, too.Copy !req
631. Well, they're around town
doing some wedding stuff.Copy !req
632. That's cool.Copy !req
633. But there's still a few
of us in the other room
if you want to join us.Copy !req
634. I don't know.Copy !req
635. You look so nice.
I feel underdressed.Copy !req
636. Well, I think you look great.Copy !req
637. Thank you.Copy !req
638. Oh, here they are.Copy !req
639. Hi, boys.
Don't stand up.Copy !req
640. The dads aren't here yet?Copy !req
641. I'll go find them.Copy !req
642. Which one of you
is the best man?Copy !req
643. Jim didn't pick just one.
Or I mean,
he couldn't decide.Copy !req
644. Hey, Paul. Hey, Kevin.Copy !req
645. Mom,
I want you to meet Steven.Copy !req
646. He's friends
of Jim's and mine
and everyone's.Copy !req
647. You look
very familiar, Steven.Copy !req
648. Really? I'm afraid
we've never met.
Oh.Copy !req
649. Well, we have now.Copy !req
650. Oh!Copy !req
651. Looks like you
found Samantha's Sweets.
Oh!Copy !req
652. Isn't their
chocolate just to die for?Copy !req
653. You have no idea.Copy !req
654. Actually, I do.Copy !req
655. I love chocolate
more than...Copy !req
656. More than life itself!Copy !req
657. I was just
saying to your friendsCopy !req
658. I have something
very precious here.Copy !req
659. What is it?Copy !req
660. Michelle's grandmother's,
my mother's, wedding ring.Copy !req
661. Isn't that precious?Copy !req
662. Since all of you
are the best man,Copy !req
663. I don't know
who should hold onto it.Copy !req
664. I think it's best if I...Copy !req
665. Oh, um...Copy !req
666. I think you
should get to know us
first and then decide.Copy !req
667. You are such
a gentleman, Steve.Copy !req
668. I hear that all the time,
but it never gets old.Copy !req
669. Hey, Paul,
do you have a camera?Copy !req
670. How thoughtful.Copy !req
671. I must've forgotten
my camera at home, Steven.Copy !req
672. Maybe you could take,
like, a mental note.Copy !req
673. I won't forget this moment.Copy !req
674. I'll bet you won't.Copy !req
675. Would you care to
join us, Steven?Copy !req
676. I'd love to. Thank you.Copy !req
677. Good to see you fellows.
Thank you.Copy !req
678. Oh, amazing.Copy !req
679. What the hell is he doing
near my flowers?Copy !req
680. I love the way
the tulips accentuate the...Copy !req
681. What do you call
those again, sir?Copy !req
682. Double lisianthus.Copy !req
683. Lisianthus.Copy !req
684. Double lisianthums.Copy !req
685. What a pretty name.Copy !req
686. I told him to be nice,
or he couldn't come
to the wedding.Copy !req
687. Okay,
I will take care of this.
I will take care of this.Copy !req
688. James. Great.
Come on over.Copy !req
689. Great, come on over.Copy !req
690. You can see
if I forgot anything.
I don't think I... Oh!Copy !req
691. We're having a great time.Copy !req
692. I think I've got it all.
Look, look, look.Copy !req
693. Sahara and
desert rose forCopy !req
694. Your bridesmaids' bouquet.Copy !req
695. Give me that. Smell this.Copy !req
696. It's fantastic.
Fantastic. And... Oh!Copy !req
697. Look at this!Copy !req
698. Let's go look at
the candelabrum, honey.Copy !req
699. I think with
the summer blossoms...Copy !req
700. Thank you for everything.Copy !req
701. What'd you think, girls?
Isn't this adorable?Copy !req
702. Bye, Cadence.Copy !req
703. Okay, I know
what you're doing. Look,
have you seen yourself?Copy !req
704. I can't believe
you're doing this, Stifler.Copy !req
705. Just calm down, dude.Copy !req
706. It's all set.
What's set?Copy !req
707. I'm gonna teach you
to dance like
a Baryshninikov.Copy !req
708. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
709. He is pretty good.Copy !req
710. Jim, he's not
doing it to be nice.Copy !req
711. He's doing it
to bone Cadence.Copy !req
712. Look, maybe we should
give him a chance.Copy !req
713. You know, I thinkCopy !req
714. that underneath
all the "fucks" and "shits"
and "blow me's"Copy !req
715. there's a very
sensitive personCopy !req
716. who is just
thirsty for acceptance.Copy !req
717. That's what I think.Copy !req
718. Oh, Jim, you've got
to stop masturbating.Copy !req
719. It's melting your brain.Copy !req
720. Observe
the fucking Stifmeister.Copy !req
721. What is his
defining characteristic?Copy !req
722. He uses the "F"
word excessively.Copy !req
723. Thanks, man.
But I also have confidence.Copy !req
724. You're one big floppy cock.Copy !req
725. Look at you.
You got to stand
like a man.Copy !req
726. Your posture tells
your partner where to go.Copy !req
727. Okay?
Okay.Copy !req
728. Follow my lead.Copy !req
729. This is the waltz.Copy !req
730. Waltz? Okay.Copy !req
731. Waltz. Okay.Copy !req
732. That's pretty good.Copy !req
733. You're fucking right
it's good.Copy !req
734. I'm gonna save your ass
in this wedding.Copy !req
735. Pretty soon you're gonna
want me to shave your balls.Copy !req
736. Should I shave my balls?
Do you shave your balls?
How do you do it?Copy !req
737. Dude! No.Copy !req
738. I'm just... Shaving...Copy !req
739. You know, there's
nothing like a local pub.Copy !req
740. Mmm-hmm.
It's like real America,Copy !req
741. without all
that corporateness
and catchy jingles.Copy !req
742. What's wrong
with a good jingle?Copy !req
743. I think it was
Voltaire who said,Copy !req
744. "A jingle witty
proves everything
for my friends and I."Copy !req
745. Cadence, I didn't know
you were gonna be here.Copy !req
746. You're just in time for
Voltaire's greatest hits.Copy !req
747. Voltaire? Stifler, please,
who was Voltaire?Copy !req
748. Someone much wiser than you,
I'm afraid, Finch.Copy !req
749. Actually, I'm getting
a little burned out on all
the intellectual stuff.Copy !req
750. Yeah, me, too.Copy !req
751. Being smart is so hard.Copy !req
752. I'll give you
some intelligence.Copy !req
753. Voltaire can suck
on my balls.Copy !req
754. What?Copy !req
755. It's about time somebody
finally came out and said it.Copy !req
756. Hey, I'm gonna give you
a quote to live by.Copy !req
757. "Love life, get paid,
and then get laid."Copy !req
758. That is the basic philosophy
of the Finchmeister.Copy !req
759. I like that.Copy !req
760. Bet you do.Copy !req
761. Really? I don't know
why you do,Copy !req
762. because
Finchmeister doesn't make
any frigging sense.Copy !req
763. Sure it does.Copy !req
764. No fucking shit it does.Copy !req
765. Cadence, let's leave
the cray-ton here, shall we?Copy !req
766. Whatever. Fuck it.
I'm walking, anyway.Copy !req
767. You know, I think
I'm gonna go stretch my legs
with the Finchmeister.Copy !req
768. You don't mind,
do you, Steven?Copy !req
769. No.Copy !req
770. Ha!Copy !req
771. It's on like
Donkey Kong, bitch.Copy !req
772. Pack it up, bitch.Copy !req
773. I'm on it. Thank you.Copy !req
774. So, Cadence say
anything about me?Copy !req
775. Whatever you and
Finch are pulling,
she seems to like you both.Copy !req
776. Finch. She gonna be around
tomorrow night?Copy !req
777. No, she's going up to
Chicago with Michelle
for the final dress fitting.Copy !req
778. What about her parents?Copy !req
779. I think her mom
kind of likes me.Copy !req
780. They're going up north
with my parentsCopy !req
781. to get things ready
for the rehearsal.Copy !req
782. So that's where they'll be.Copy !req
783. So don't bother
looking for them
or anything, you know?Copy !req
784. A wedding. Shit.Copy !req
785. How do you know
she's the right girl?Copy !req
786. I just do.Copy !req
787. I'm a better person
when I'm with Michelle.Copy !req
788. Nobody else can...
No, shithead.Copy !req
789. You hooked up with
one other girl for what?
10 seconds?Copy !req
790. Not to mention
you passed on Nadia.
Dumbest fucking thing ever.Copy !req
791. You're like
a blind man picking
out his favorite porno.Copy !req
792. That shit is crazy.Copy !req
793. This is just the old
pre-wedding jitters, Son.Copy !req
794. It's so forever.
You know, it's...Copy !req
795. You know,
Michelle is the only girl
that I've been with.Copy !req
796. Honestly, now,
would you have passed up
sex with Nadia?Copy !req
797. Why? Did she say something?Copy !req
798. Hypothetically, Dad.Copy !req
799. Hypothetically. Well,Copy !req
800. you know, Jim,
I'm a married man.Copy !req
801. If you weren't married.Copy !req
802. She's a college girl.Copy !req
803. If you were a college guy.Copy !req
804. In a heartbeat.
Oh, yeah. Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
805. First of all,
what you're feelingCopy !req
806. is so normal
and perfectly natural.Copy !req
807. Marriage is not aboutCopy !req
808. animal lusting,
and kinky sex games.Copy !req
809. It's not so much aboutCopy !req
810. who's the dog and
who's the fire
hydrant tonight.Copy !req
811. It's deeper than that.Copy !req
812. The longer a marriage lasts,
the longer you can goCopy !req
813. without sex.Copy !req
814. But when that
magic night does happen,Copy !req
815. it's all
the more meaningful.Copy !req
816. Let me tell you,
your mother, bless her,Copy !req
817. can still make me
squeal like a pig.Copy !req
818. I mean that
in the good sense.Copy !req
819. Do you follow
what I'm saying?Copy !req
820. You understand
where I'm going here?Copy !req
821. I do. I think...Copy !req
822. Anything else you need?Copy !req
823. No. No. That's...Copy !req
824. Anything I can do.Copy !req
825. He's not here.
Park the cars down there
where he won't see them.Copy !req
826. Whoo!Copy !req
827. Fucking right!Copy !req
828. So, you like
my pants, Stiffy?Copy !req
829. Whatever, dude.
As long as the girls
are worth it.Copy !req
830. They're worth it.
Oh! And if you got
good wine, too,Copy !req
831. that'll score
points for you.Copy !req
832. I think there's
some in the basement.Copy !req
833. I'll get it. You ain't
gonna want to miss this.Copy !req
834. Gentlemen,
I would like to introduceCopy !req
835. Officer Krystal
und Fräulein Brandi!Copy !req
836. Oh, my God.Copy !req
837. Oh, my God.Copy !req
838. You boys have
been very messy.Copy !req
839. Whoops.Copy !req
840. Can you see my fanny?Copy !req
841. Whoops.Copy !req
842. Oh!Copy !req
843. Oh!Copy !req
844. Ow!Copy !req
845. You naughty girl.Copy !req
846. None of that
pleading the Fifth crap.Copy !req
847. You boys are gonna talk.Copy !req
848. Wow!Copy !req
849. Oh, my God!Copy !req
850. Are you just gonna
stand there and drool?Copy !req
851. Or we gonna have
a bachelor party?Copy !req
852. Fuck, yeah, we are!Copy !req
853. Yeah?
Yeah.Copy !req
854. What? I can't hear you.Copy !req
855. Louder!Copy !req
856. Yes.Copy !req
857. Bachelor party.Copy !req
858. I can't hear you. Louder!Copy !req
859. Stick a finger in my ass!Copy !req
860. That's weird.Copy !req
861. You just wait.Copy !req
862. Maybe we should
just wait for Jim.Copy !req
863. Fuck Jim, man!
This is for us!Copy !req
864. Take her top off.Copy !req
865. My girlfriend has
strict rules about this.
No touching.Copy !req
866. What are you,
a dancing clown?Copy !req
867. You wipe that shit-eating grin
off your face,
you punk-ass little bitch!Copy !req
868. This is awesome!Copy !req
869. You like that?
Like it? How much? No!Copy !req
870. Yeah, I do.
Boob.Copy !req
871. Sorry.Copy !req
872. No, not yet.
But you will be.Copy !req
873. Like I said,
this is awesome.Copy !req
874. Hey, listen,
I think we both knowCopy !req
875. that Officer Krystal and me
have this, you know...Copy !req
876. Thing?
Yeah.Copy !req
877. No one has ever
slapped my ass like that.Copy !req
878. No one's ever
pinched my nipple
with such ferocity.Copy !req
879. I'm a master of
the Tantric art.Copy !req
880. I look at her
body and I just seeCopy !req
881. the chakras and the things
I could do to her and...Copy !req
882. You, you look cute.
Oh, thank you.Copy !req
883. You, you're the cute one.Copy !req
884. Stiffy, how slimming is this?Copy !req
885. What the fuck,
Buffalo Bill?Copy !req
886. What? The pink too much?Copy !req
887. It puts
the dress in the drawer
and does as it's told.Copy !req
888. Oh, dude,
now that's fucked up.Copy !req
889. That's fucked up.Copy !req
890. And in closing,
you have been a naughty,
naughty girl.Copy !req
891. You been naughty, Brandi?
You been fucking naughty?Copy !req
892. Fresh.Copy !req
893. Take her top off!Copy !req
894. Will you get to cleaning,
you little bitch fucker.Copy !req
895. Do you want to
see us kiss?Copy !req
896. Fuck, no!Copy !req
897. None of that "you go,
we go" bullshit.Copy !req
898. We've already done that.
Good of you.Copy !req
899. I used to have
this pet bass.Copy !req
900. His name was Arnie,
and he was so cuteCopy !req
901. and he just loved me,
too, you know.
He would look at me...Copy !req
902. Maybe you
could dance.Copy !req
903. make this
face like...Copy !req
904. Or something like that.
I don't know.
It was great.Copy !req
905. I miss Arnie, but...Copy !req
906. Sometimes I watch
the Discovery Channel.Copy !req
907. I love that show.Copy !req
908. I don't care!Copy !req
909. Could you just
dance for me, please?Copy !req
910. No, that's my favorite...
Well, was my favorite shirt.Copy !req
911. Okay...Copy !req
912. Hey.Copy !req
913. What?Copy !req
914. Nothing.Copy !req
915. It's a crazy party, huh?Copy !req
916. You don't worry about him.
You don't worry about him.Copy !req
917. He's a maniac.
You're a maniac,
you know that?Copy !req
918. Stifler, why in the world
are you focused on me?Copy !req
919. I'm just surprised to
see you don't have tits.Copy !req
920. How can I clean you
if you are not dirty?Copy !req
921. Go put something on
that I must clean off
with my tongue.Copy !req
922. Oh!Copy !req
923. Anything for a French person.Copy !req
924. If you insist, fräulein.Copy !req
925. Ah!Copy !req
926. Look at you,
you pathetic
little weasel.Copy !req
927. Can't I just watch?Copy !req
928. Look, you don't have to
do anything
if you don't want to.Copy !req
929. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!Copy !req
930. Hold on!
Don't break character
ever again, okay?Copy !req
931. I don't care
if Kevin starts cryingCopy !req
932. because Finch
bit his cock off.Copy !req
933. You're a dirty cop,
you're a prissy maid.Copy !req
934. And I'm your filthy cabana boy
in need of
punishment and cleaning.Copy !req
935. Don't you ever mouth
off to Officer Krystal,Copy !req
936. you dirty little pervert!
Okay.Copy !req
937. Now obey!
I obey!Copy !req
938. Jesus.Copy !req
939. Hey, guys,
are we having dinner?Copy !req
940. Let me get that.Copy !req
941. Holy shit!Copy !req
942. Stifler.Copy !req
943. I've got something really nice
cooking up for you inside.Copy !req
944. Well, we love surprises.Copy !req
945. Stifler, you said
you spoke to Jim.Copy !req
946. I did. I was secret
about it and everything.Copy !req
947. He said he'd be
the only one here tonight.Copy !req
948. What the fuck,
Shitbreak?Copy !req
949. It's chocolate.Copy !req
950. I told everyone that
you were up north
with my parents.Copy !req
951. So we won't be bothered.
We can just totally relax.
No worries.Copy !req
952. Please come on in.
Make yourselves at home.
Right this way.Copy !req
953. Thank you.Copy !req
954. What?Copy !req
955. Pink roses.Copy !req
956. Pink roses.Copy !req
957. They're nice, aren't they?Copy !req
958. Yes, artificial. Nice try.Copy !req
959. I almost got you.Copy !req
960. So, has Michelle ever
told you the story of how
we fell in love?Copy !req
961. Why don't you retell us now?Copy !req
962. It's one of
my favorite stories.
Where should I begin?Copy !req
963. Let's see...Copy !req
964. Well, I suppose it
all started at...Copy !req
965. Tall Oaks.Copy !req
966. That's right. At Tall Oaks.Copy !req
967. That was the summer
when... Oh!Copy !req
968. Oh! The summer
that was so hot!Copy !req
969. So hot.Copy !req
970. All right, look what I got.Copy !req
971. Jesus!Copy !req
972. Hey, there.Copy !req
973. Guy, there!Copy !req
974. Jim, I cannot believe you.Copy !req
975. You can't?Copy !req
976. You hired help
on our account. That is
entirely unnecessary.Copy !req
977. But I will have
some of that wine, sir.Copy !req
978. Say please, Harold.Copy !req
979. Please. Of course.Copy !req
980. Absolutely.Copy !req
981. It's what he's here for.Copy !req
982. The wine. Obviously.Copy !req
983. Evidently.Copy !req
984. What else would
you be here for?Copy !req
985. And I certainly appreciate
your courtesy, sir.Copy !req
986. Yes, we have right hereCopy !req
987. a 1999 Cabernet Say-vun-nun.Copy !req
988. Full-bodied, masculine wine.Copy !req
989. Just shouts sophistication.Copy !req
990. James?
Yes?Copy !req
991. I can see
you're very surprised
to see me here.Copy !req
992. Little bit.Copy !req
993. I'm going to go
check on the dogs.Copy !req
994. Yes! In fact why don't
you both go check
on the dogs and...Copy !req
995. No! Don't check on the dogs.
They're fine.Copy !req
996. How do you know?Copy !req
997. Because I just
checked on the dogs.Copy !req
998. Because he
checked on the dogs.
I did.Copy !req
999. Good work, man.Copy !req
1000. Jim, I'll help
you with the turkey.Copy !req
1001. Okay.Copy !req
1002. And I'll keep
you company.Copy !req
1003. Thank you.Copy !req
1004. So, how long have you been
a sommelier, Mister...Copy !req
1005. Belvedere, ma'am.Copy !req
1006. Belvedere.Copy !req
1007. It's chilly in here.Copy !req
1008. So, how long do we
have to stay in here for?Copy !req
1009. I don't know.
They said to hide.Copy !req
1010. I guess we'll just
wait for them to call us.Copy !req
1011. Who knows what
kind of kinky shit
they're getting ready for.Copy !req
1012. Do these go in your
ass tonight, or mine?Copy !req
1013. You have
a serving dish ready?Copy !req
1014. Jim, we need
a serving dish.
Hmm?Copy !req
1015. Oh! Yeah, of course.Copy !req
1016. Oh!Copy !req
1017. What?Copy !req
1018. Nothing.Copy !req
1019. Then why the excitement?Copy !req
1020. I thought the dish
was broken.Copy !req
1021. Well, is it?
No.Copy !req
1022. Then are you
going to get it?
Yes.Copy !req
1023. Here you go.
One serving dish.Copy !req
1024. Excellent. Now what we need:Copy !req
1025. A cutting board.Copy !req
1026. No, stop!Copy !req
1027. What?Copy !req
1028. I will get it for you.Copy !req
1029. Nonsense,
I can get a cutting board.Copy !req
1030. Let's see, there you go.
This should do nicely.Copy !req
1031. I presume
we're having white wine
with the turkey.Copy !req
1032. Let me go check.Copy !req
1033. What happened here?Copy !req
1034. Oh, um...Copy !req
1035. That's mud.
I meant to clean
that up this morning.Copy !req
1036. How embarrassing.Copy !req
1037. That's gonna stain.
We're gonna need a mop.Copy !req
1038. I'll get it.
It's in this closet.Copy !req
1039. No.Copy !req
1040. No, it's not.Copy !req
1041. It's in there.Copy !req
1042. It's not in this closet,Copy !req
1043. because I moved it.Copy !req
1044. Where? I'll go get it.Copy !req
1045. I don't remember.Copy !req
1046. You don't remember?Copy !req
1047. You know why
I don't rememberCopy !req
1048. is because I actually
did not move it.Copy !req
1049. The cleaning lady did.Copy !req
1050. Your mother said
you don't have
a cleaning lady.Copy !req
1051. I don't know why
she would say such a...Copy !req
1052. You called, master?Copy !req
1053. Holy...Copy !req
1054. Well, there you are. Hello.Copy !req
1055. How do you do?Copy !req
1056. Uh...Copy !req
1057. So, cleaning lady,
we were wondering
where the mop was.Copy !req
1058. Master put
the mop in my fanny.Copy !req
1059. You what?
Who put what where?Copy !req
1060. I did no such thing anywhere.Copy !req
1061. Shall I clean?Copy !req
1062. Harold!Copy !req
1063. Very well.
It is so hot in here!Copy !req
1064. Holy Jesus!Copy !req
1065. Brandi, Brandi,
what are you doing?Copy !req
1066. You're not in
Eastern Europe anymore.Copy !req
1067. You can't do that.
I am so sorry
about my cousin.Copy !req
1068. She's not used to
our customs.Copy !req
1069. Jim, I apologize
for recommending her to you.Copy !req
1070. Here's this, by the way.Copy !req
1071. Ah!Copy !req
1072. Got the mop.Copy !req
1073. Brandi,
you left the mop
in the car.Copy !req
1074. Now remember,
it's called a car,Copy !req
1075. not a fanny.Copy !req
1076. Remember last time
when you wanted meCopy !req
1077. to take a ride
in your fanny.Copy !req
1078. Oh, dear, I'm so sorry.Copy !req
1079. You know what?
We should
probably just go.Copy !req
1080. I'm so sorry about this.Copy !req
1081. I came by to
make sure everything
was in order.Copy !req
1082. The food smells great.Copy !req
1083. Au revoir.Copy !req
1084. Jim, you have
unique friends.Copy !req
1085. Harold!Copy !req
1086. Let's get that
cleaned up.Copy !req
1087. I think I saw some
Pine-Sol in here, too.Copy !req
1088. My gosh!
Baby, Mary and Joseph.Copy !req
1089. Oh, my Lord!Copy !req
1090. He's okay.Copy !req
1091. Are you all right?Copy !req
1092. Who did this to you?Copy !req
1093. I'm sure he's okay.
You okay?Copy !req
1094. Get some help!
Harold, call the police!Copy !req
1095. All right!Copy !req
1096. Jesus.Copy !req
1097. I'll take charge
from here!Copy !req
1098. My God, they are fast here.
And nicely attired.Copy !req
1099. What's going on here?Copy !req
1100. She's here to
protect and serve.Copy !req
1101. Quiet!
Okay.Copy !req
1102. Who let this boy
out of the closet?Copy !req
1103. You are all in for
a hard punishment now.Copy !req
1104. Don't you touch him!
He's been hurt.Copy !req
1105. No. This is hurt!Copy !req
1106. You can't do that.Copy !req
1107. Silence, fucker!
Ow!Copy !req
1108. You like it.Copy !req
1109. Oh!Copy !req
1110. Harold,
what's gotten into you?Copy !req
1111. I meant... Ow!Copy !req
1112. Dirty whore.
Shut your hole. Obey!Copy !req
1113. You can't do that.Copy !req
1114. You're a disgrace
to the police force.Copy !req
1115. I'll be giving you
an enema!Copy !req
1116. Hey, somebody untie me!Copy !req
1117. Wait, not the face.
Back off!Copy !req
1118. All right, forget it.
We give up.Copy !req
1119. Steven!Copy !req
1120. It's okay, Mary.Copy !req
1121. What's going on?Copy !req
1122. Listen,
this isn't working, guys.Copy !req
1123. Krystal, you can drop the act.
This isn't a real cop.Copy !req
1124. Kevin wasn't assaulted.Copy !req
1125. I just wanted to
make Jim look good
for you guys.Copy !req
1126. Like a real hero.Copy !req
1127. Kind of like me.Copy !req
1128. We hired a fake cop,
tied up Kevin,
and put him in the closet.Copy !req
1129. Jim was supposed to
rescue him, untie him,
give him mouth-to-mouth.Copy !req
1130. I don't know
what he likes to do.Copy !req
1131. Then Paul Finch
hired an exotic dancer
instead of a real actor.Copy !req
1132. Jim, is this true?Copy !req
1133. Every word of it.Copy !req
1134. That is the stupidest idea
I have ever heard.Copy !req
1135. You've embarrassed me, Harold,
and Mr. Belvedere.Copy !req
1136. What?Copy !req
1137. It's all my fault.
I'm a bad person.Copy !req
1138. Oh! You're not a bad person.Copy !req
1139. You were just
trying to help out
your best friend.Copy !req
1140. It was an awful idea,
but I suppose
it's the thought that counts.Copy !req
1141. You know, actually,Copy !req
1142. I never should have allowedCopy !req
1143. such a crazy plan to
happen in the first place.Copy !req
1144. If you're gonna
blame anybody here,Copy !req
1145. blame me.Copy !req
1146. I'm sorry, Jim.
I didn't realizeCopy !req
1147. how much pressure
we put on you.Copy !req
1148. I'm sure you both
learned your lesson,
and I suppose I understand.Copy !req
1149. Jim, if you put
half as much energy
into your marriageCopy !req
1150. as you put into tonight,
I'm confident that I can
give you my blessing.Copy !req
1151. And, Steven,
we still adore you, honey.Copy !req
1152. In fact, I think I know
who should hold onto this.Copy !req
1153. We adore you.
You'll take good care of it.Copy !req
1154. You've got to
be kidding me.Copy !req
1155. No.Copy !req
1156. Lookit, Jim, Kevin.
Boy, this really makes me
important to the wedding.Copy !req
1157. Yes.Copy !req
1158. Well, Mr. Belvedere,
it's gonna be one
fucked-up wedding.Copy !req
1159. Absolutely.Copy !req
1160. Drive carefully.
More bags in the study.Copy !req
1161. Thank you.Copy !req
1162. You're welcome.Copy !req
1163. Ow!Copy !req
1164. Is there
any room for me?Copy !req
1165. Nope.Copy !req
1166. I'll just drive up
north all by myself.Copy !req
1167. That sounds good.
We'll see you later.Copy !req
1168. No, I'll drive with you.Copy !req
1169. Thanks, Cadence.
Beautiful lady.Copy !req
1170. Hey... I know. Shut up.
Kevin!Copy !req
1171. So, my mom found
the dogs playingCopy !req
1172. with something
unusual this morning.Copy !req
1173. What?Copy !req
1174. I told her it was
a neck massager.Copy !req
1175. These are great.Copy !req
1176. He's hilarious.Copy !req
1177. Yes.Copy !req
1178. That kind of thing
is so lethargic to me.Copy !req
1179. What do you mean?Copy !req
1180. I'm not sure.Copy !req
1181. Mr. Stifler,
I already told you
you called two days agoCopy !req
1182. and canceled
your reservation.Copy !req
1183. Since you now
wish to stay here,Copy !req
1184. I thought you could persuade
Mr. Finch to share his room.Copy !req
1185. Hey, Shithead, I didn't
cancel my reservation.Copy !req
1186. Mr. Fuckface Finch
called here.Copy !req
1187. And Mr. Idiot Behind
the Desk canceled it.Copy !req
1188. Christof, please pardon
my friend's uncouth behavior.Copy !req
1189. I did no such thing.Copy !req
1190. Nor did I, sir.Copy !req
1191. And your rudeness
and obscenities
won't change anything.Copy !req
1192. Well then,
I guess it doesn't matter
if I call you a crotchface,Copy !req
1193. you ball-scratching fucker.Copy !req
1194. Or better yet,
go blow your dad.Copy !req
1195. My dad?
Hear, hear.Copy !req
1196. While you're there,
stick a finger
up both their assesCopy !req
1197. while you're down there.Copy !req
1198. Finch, rudeness and obscenity
won't change anything.Copy !req
1199. Here's a thought:
Grow a sack,
fill it with some balls,Copy !req
1200. magically sprout a dick,
shove it up your ass,Copy !req
1201. and start fucking yourself
like, "Yeah, baby!"Copy !req
1202. You going
with what I'm saying?Copy !req
1203. This is disgusting.Copy !req
1204. Why don't you go dust
with your
perverse European cousin?Copy !req
1205. Is she here?Copy !req
1206. Unbelievable.Copy !req
1207. I'd like to book
a tee time for my husbandCopy !req
1208. and a European
pumpkin peel facial
for me, please.Copy !req
1209. Make that two.Copy !req
1210. You'll have
a fun weekend, Ma.Copy !req
1211. I am missing my soap.Copy !req
1212. Don't you worry
about your soaps.Copy !req
1213. Will you push faster?
I'm tired.Copy !req
1214. And wait till
you meet Michelle.Copy !req
1215. You're gonna love her.
She's sweet as sugar.Copy !req
1216. I can't eat sugar.Copy !req
1217. I know,
because you're diabetic.Copy !req
1218. You know, Ma,Copy !req
1219. I know things haven't been
going well for you.
I know that.Copy !req
1220. But wait till you
see Jim standing up there
at the altar tomorrow.Copy !req
1221. If ever there was
a time to be happy
and smile the biggest smile,Copy !req
1222. now is the time.Copy !req
1223. Okay, okay. I'm overjoyed.Copy !req
1224. That's a start.Copy !req
1225. Proud grandmother
coming through.Copy !req
1226. Grandson's getting
married tomorrow.Copy !req
1227. You think she's happy now,
wait till tomorrow.Copy !req
1228. "Congratulations."Copy !req
1229. "Grooming."Copy !req
1230. You got bigger.Copy !req
1231. The flowers
stay refrigerated
until morning...Copy !req
1232. Oh! I'm sure they will.Copy !req
1233. They're so pretty...Copy !req
1234. Oh, Jimmy, no!Copy !req
1235. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1236. I hope
you'll be more careful
with the next one.Copy !req
1237. My kitchen is
not a toilet, okay?Copy !req
1238. Boy, pubic hair was just not
an issue when I was dating.Copy !req
1239. The ladies never complainedCopy !req
1240. when they were, you know,
down in that general area...Copy !req
1241. Okay, if you never
mention that ever again,
that'd be great.Copy !req
1242. Shouldn't have brought it up.Copy !req
1243. So, can I see the ring?Copy !req
1244. Nope. I promised
to keep it safe.Copy !req
1245. It's not leaving my pocket.Copy !req
1246. Okay, Frodo.Copy !req
1247. You really care
about this wedding,
don't you?Copy !req
1248. I'm gonna cry
at the ceremony.
I know it.Copy !req
1249. Are you just saying
all of this?Copy !req
1250. I mean, do you
act differently around
certain people?Copy !req
1251. Namely me?Copy !req
1252. Of course not. Why?
Do you act differently
around me?Copy !req
1253. Generally, I'm just me.
If people don't like it,
that's their problem.Copy !req
1254. Yeah. Fuck those fuckers.Copy !req
1255. What?Copy !req
1256. I didn't...Copy !req
1257. No, you're right. Fuck 'em.Copy !req
1258. Hey, Harold and Mary!Copy !req
1259. Hi, kids.Copy !req
1260. How's it going?Copy !req
1261. Come on. Thanks for
watching the dogs.Copy !req
1262. I love these guys.
Hey, guys, want more
Snausages? Huh?Copy !req
1263. There you go.Copy !req
1264. Eat 'em up.
Give me some.Copy !req
1265. There you go.Copy !req
1266. I don't think
I have any left.Copy !req
1267. What's wrong?Copy !req
1268. Shit.Copy !req
1269. Are you okay?Copy !req
1270. Yeah.Copy !req
1271. You kissed Stifler?Copy !req
1272. Yeah. But then he freaked.Copy !req
1273. It's like he's been
paying more attention
to the dogs than me.Copy !req
1274. Can I stop worrying then?Copy !req
1275. Michelle, he's been
nothing but nice to me.Copy !req
1276. I mean, do you think
he really likes you?Copy !req
1277. I don't know.
I hope he likes me.
I mean, I think he likes me.Copy !req
1278. Yeah, I guess
I hope he likes me.Copy !req
1279. Do it.Copy !req
1280. Don't fuck around.
Just relax and let it go.Copy !req
1281. I'm sick of waiting.Copy !req
1282. Do it for Daddy.Copy !req
1283. Will you just
take a shit already?Copy !req
1284. Great.Copy !req
1285. You fed the ring to the dogs,
didn't you?Copy !req
1286. Of course not!Copy !req
1287. You have been staring
at those dogs
like a hawk all day.Copy !req
1288. I'm a dog lover.Copy !req
1289. By the way,
apparently you missed
when Cadence kissed me.Copy !req
1290. Slight tongue action, too.
It was something like this.Copy !req
1291. You're a terrible liar,
Stifler.Copy !req
1292. If I were lying,
I'd think of something better
than a kiss.Copy !req
1293. Maybe a blow job
or some tittie grabbing.Copy !req
1294. No pussy for you, Finch.Copy !req
1295. Fucking right, doggy!
It's about goddamn time!Copy !req
1296. Jackpot!Copy !req
1297. Now if you'll excuse me,
I have some shit to attend to.Copy !req
1298. Thanks, assholes.Copy !req
1299. Yeah,
maybe you can call him.Copy !req
1300. Okay.Copy !req
1301. Steve, come over here.Copy !req
1302. Uh...Copy !req
1303. I'm a little busy.Copy !req
1304. With what?
Come on over.
We need you.Copy !req
1305. Get over here,
you little rascal.Copy !req
1306. We were talking about
Michelle's wedding band.
Could I see it?Copy !req
1307. Um...Copy !req
1308. No.
No?Copy !req
1309. I don't have it.
What?Copy !req
1310. You mean you lost it?Copy !req
1311. Of course not.Copy !req
1312. I'm keeping it safe
in my room,
you silly Sally!Copy !req
1313. Thank goodness.
I apologize.Copy !req
1314. That's fine.
I'll see it later.Copy !req
1315. Okay. All right, then.Copy !req
1316. What do you have
in your hand?Copy !req
1317. This one?Copy !req
1318. No, the other one.Copy !req
1319. It's a chocolate truffle.Copy !req
1320. Ooo! Yummy.Copy !req
1321. Where did you get that?Copy !req
1322. The caterer said
she was saving
the truffles for tomorrow.Copy !req
1323. You sneaky devil.Copy !req
1324. Well, hey,
I managed to sneak
one right past her.Copy !req
1325. Come on,
this woman
loves chocolate.Copy !req
1326. At least give
her a tiny nibble.Copy !req
1327. Give it to Momma.Copy !req
1328. Momma don't want this.
This is the only piece
that I have.Copy !req
1329. Idiot.Copy !req
1330. Break it in half.
Come on.Copy !req
1331. You know what?Copy !req
1332. Let's just leave
the surprises till tomorrow.Copy !req
1333. It's gonna be a great day.Copy !req
1334. I'd like
my surprise right now.Copy !req
1335. No, it's mine.
Come on!Copy !req
1336. Give it to me.
No.Copy !req
1337. Give the darn truffle.Copy !req
1338. Steven,
that is so selfish.Copy !req
1339. It's good.Copy !req
1340. Is it? Is it sweet?Copy !req
1341. It's so sweet.Copy !req
1342. Close your mouth
when you chew, Steven.Copy !req
1343. Don't do that.Copy !req
1344. At least you could describe
to the lovely woman
how delicious it is.Copy !req
1345. Well, tastes like twigs
and berries.Copy !req
1346. Is it Swiss or
French chocolate?Copy !req
1347. Maybe German.Copy !req
1348. Really? Is it creamy?Copy !req
1349. Yeah, it's creamy.Copy !req
1350. Easy to go down, right?Copy !req
1351. Well, I'm trying to
savor the flavor right now.Copy !req
1352. Is it fresh?Copy !req
1353. It's so fresh.Copy !req
1354. Nothing better than
when they're fresh.Copy !req
1355. Nothing better.Copy !req
1356. The problem is
you can't eat
just one, can you?Copy !req
1357. No, you can't.Copy !req
1358. But you've got to
know when to stop,
don't you?Copy !req
1359. You really do, but it's hard.
It's really hard.Copy !req
1360. Droppings
from the gods.Copy !req
1361. Get me another one, darling.
Come on.Copy !req
1362. You selfish boy.
Next time,
bring enough for everybody.Copy !req
1363. Let's keep this to ourselves?
Okay?Copy !req
1364. Okay.Copy !req
1365. I gotta go, okay.Copy !req
1366. Don't have any more,
because it's gonna
spoil your appetite.Copy !req
1367. Okay.
Hey, look, man, I gotta go.Copy !req
1368. Grandma, I want you
to meet some people.Copy !req
1369. Grandma, this is Michelle.Copy !req
1370. I'm so proud to be
joining your family.Copy !req
1371. She's real pretty, huh?Copy !req
1372. Isn't it great?
We're getting married.Copy !req
1373. It's amazing, Gram.Copy !req
1374. Not Jewish!
No wedding, Jimmy!
No wedding.Copy !req
1375. Forget it.
Grandma.Copy !req
1376. A goyeh!Copy !req
1377. Shit.Copy !req
1378. Jim, she hates me.Copy !req
1379. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1380. Grandma, look,
we love each other.Copy !req
1381. Michelle and I
love each other very much.Copy !req
1382. That's all that matters.
Grandma? Grandma?Copy !req
1383. Michelle? Michelle?Copy !req
1384. But Grandma's okay?
Oh, she's okay.Copy !req
1385. Oh, yeah, Dad. She's okay.
She's just a little tired.Copy !req
1386. My mother hasn't been well.
She's been feeling...Copy !req
1387. When your dad sees the look
on Grandma's face,Copy !req
1388. it's gonna break his heart.
Because of me.Copy !req
1389. It's not because of you.
Michelle, it's not
because of you at all.Copy !req
1390. It's because
Grandma thinks it's 1801.Copy !req
1391. Look, don't worry.
I'll come up with something.Copy !req
1392. I promised you
the wedding of your dreamsCopy !req
1393. and I'm not gonna
let anything ruin it.Copy !req
1394. Oh!Copy !req
1395. I would like to
propose a toast.Copy !req
1396. These last few weeks
have really been somethingCopy !req
1397. for my lovely wife and me.Copy !req
1398. We have met some people
we didn't know existed.Copy !req
1399. We've experienced
some things we didn't
think were possible.Copy !req
1400. We've always tried to make
the best of every situation.Copy !req
1401. This is a good situation.Copy !req
1402. That's what I'm saying.
This is a wonderful situation.Copy !req
1403. The coming
together of two families
from different backgrounds.Copy !req
1404. So to our new son-in-law,
may we say Éireann go Bráugh.Copy !req
1405. And to our lovely
daughter Michelle,
L'Chaim.Copy !req
1406. Did I get that right?
Very good.Copy !req
1407. And let's hope we can
sit many happy
shivas together.Copy !req
1408. Here's to
a wonderful wedding.Copy !req
1409. Cheers.
Cheers.Copy !req
1410. See that, Shitbreak?
I told you I won.Copy !req
1411. Hey.
Hey.Copy !req
1412. I just wanted to say
I'm sorry if I freaked you out
with the whole kiss thing.Copy !req
1413. You didn't freak me out.Copy !req
1414. I just wanted to
let you know thatCopy !req
1415. you make me feel special.Copy !req
1416. I think you're
the most special girl
I've ever known.Copy !req
1417. Maybe you'd
want to make things
extra special tonight.Copy !req
1418. Which room is yours?Copy !req
1419. I'm crashing at Kevin's.Copy !req
1420. Damn.Copy !req
1421. But I sawCopy !req
1422. a big, fluffy linen closet
at the end of
the main hallway.Copy !req
1423. Yes. Big,
fluffy linen closet is good.Copy !req
1424. Okay.Copy !req
1425. Midnight?
Yeah.Copy !req
1426. All right.
Okay.Copy !req
1427. Oh!Copy !req
1428. I'm going to
have-a sex-a with-a CadenceCopy !req
1429. I'm going to have-a
sex-a with-a CadenceCopy !req
1430. Whoo!Copy !req
1431. Jesus! You fucking stalker!Copy !req
1432. You're not
a very stealthy thief.Copy !req
1433. Really?
Guess what, Shitbreak?Copy !req
1434. It's a wedding.
Everything's free.Copy !req
1435. What do you want?Copy !req
1436. Stifler, Jim's grandma
doesn't approve
of the wedding.Copy !req
1437. We're trying to
run interference,Copy !req
1438. and, reluctantly,
I am asking for your help.Copy !req
1439. Sorry, Finchmeister,
I got plans with Cadence.Copy !req
1440. Stifler, maybe you could
forget about your dick
for one secondCopy !req
1441. and actually be useful.Copy !req
1442. Fuck you, Finch.
You didn't eat shit, okay?Copy !req
1443. You didn't prance around
like a ballerina
for the whole week.Copy !req
1444. Wedding this,
suck my ass that.
I'm special, you're special.Copy !req
1445. We're all just
a bunch of special fuckers,
aren't we?Copy !req
1446. You know what?
I'm-a gonna get laid,
Finchfucker.Copy !req
1447. And it's gonna be oh-so-good.Copy !req
1448. It's gonna be like,
"You like this shit, momma?"Copy !req
1449. She's gonna be like,
"Fucking right, doggy.
Give it to me!Copy !req
1450. "Suck on my nipples
like you're milking a cow."Copy !req
1451. Like...Copy !req
1452. You been here long?Copy !req
1453. Oh, shit.Copy !req
1454. Yeah...Copy !req
1455. Cadence, it is
my distinct pleasure
to introduce youCopy !req
1456. to the real Steve Stifler.Copy !req
1457. Hi.Copy !req
1458. Pumpkin.Copy !req
1459. You are quite
the gentleman, Stifler.Copy !req
1460. You could've told
me she was behind me.Copy !req
1461. Between Grandma,
Stifler, and Cadence...
The cake.Copy !req
1462. I mean, are you kidding me?Copy !req
1463. You know,
I thought I had grown
out of this sort of behavior.Copy !req
1464. But I keep messing up.
These things keep
happening to me.Copy !req
1465. If I can't bring it
together for one day,Copy !req
1466. how am I gonna
hold it together
for the rest of our lives?Copy !req
1467. I'm really afraid
this is how it's
always gonna be.Copy !req
1468. Yeah, but you always
manage to get yourself
into serious shit,Copy !req
1469. and somehow you always
come out of it better
than you went in.Copy !req
1470. I don't know how,
but you do.Copy !req
1471. Everything is gonna be fine.Copy !req
1472. Yeah...Copy !req
1473. You need to come into
the kitchen right now.
There's... Yeah.Copy !req
1474. Jesus, now what?Copy !req
1475. There is no way to remake
all these in time, is there?Copy !req
1476. Something must have
disrupted the power.Copy !req
1477. The compressors need time
to reset after a power lossCopy !req
1478. or they overheat.Copy !req
1479. Essentially, it turns
the refrigerator
into an oven.Copy !req
1480. Stifler was in here
earlier flipping switches.Copy !req
1481. Michelle, I am so sorry.Copy !req
1482. Hey.Copy !req
1483. Those flowers look hideous.Copy !req
1484. That's 'cause you
killed them, Stifler.Copy !req
1485. You've ruined everything.Copy !req
1486. What are you talking about?Copy !req
1487. You obviously don't care
about this wedding,
or anyone in it.Copy !req
1488. Cadence...Copy !req
1489. Jim?Copy !req
1490. Shitbreak, come on.Copy !req
1491. Maybe you should
just leave, Stifler.Copy !req
1492. Fine. Adiós.Copy !req
1493. Fuckers!
It's not my fault!Copy !req
1494. I'm not an electrical
Einstein. I'm not...Copy !req
1495. Damn it.Copy !req
1496. Fuck!Copy !req
1497. Hey, flower fuckers,
you there?Copy !req
1498. "Zyskowski."Copy !req
1499. Hello? Are you awake?Copy !req
1500. Shit. Come on.
Come on. Anybody awake?Copy !req
1501. Oh!Copy !req
1502. Are you Ms. Zyskowski?Copy !req
1503. Who are you?Copy !req
1504. I'm the guy who just
killed all the flowersCopy !req
1505. for the Levenstein-Band
Geek wedding.Copy !req
1506. What?Copy !req
1507. Yeah, I'm that guy.Copy !req
1508. Now, what I need you to doCopy !req
1509. is drag your ass down
to your little store,Copy !req
1510. gather up some flowers,
slice them,Copy !req
1511. dice them,
jam them all together,Copy !req
1512. and cart that crap
down to the wedding.Copy !req
1513. Are you completely insane?Copy !req
1514. You have no idea.Copy !req
1515. Even if I
overlooked the factCopy !req
1516. that this is the rudest thing
I have ever encountered,Copy !req
1517. there is no time to
redo all that work.Copy !req
1518. I had four assistants
working two full days
on that wedding.Copy !req
1519. I'm sorry. It's impossible.Copy !req
1520. We don't quit
at halftime, ma'am!Copy !req
1521. You don't score
until you score!Copy !req
1522. That's the spirit,
sweetheart.Copy !req
1523. Come on.
Fuck the pain.Copy !req
1524. You guys keep
working this hard,Copy !req
1525. we'll be able to
beat the Wildcats.Copy !req
1526. You remember how tough
they were last year.Copy !req
1527. Come on. Let's see
some determination.Copy !req
1528. Determination!Copy !req
1529. Hold the vase. That's it!Copy !req
1530. Come on.
Come on, keep working!Copy !req
1531. Good, Connor. Very good.Copy !req
1532. Good, DeBoer.
It really sucks.
Go fix it.Copy !req
1533. Hey, party guy, having
a good time? Can I get
you a gin and tonic?Copy !req
1534. Hold on a second.
Hello? Okay. It's for you.Copy !req
1535. It's get to work, fucker.Copy !req
1536. We are gathered here todayCopy !req
1537. to join these
two great people
in a blessed unionCopy !req
1538. and
blah-da-blah-da-blah
and crap.Copy !req
1539. Coach? This is kind of gay.Copy !req
1540. Yeah, it is.Copy !req
1541. Good work.Copy !req
1542. Hey, no problem.Copy !req
1543. So, you got
a date for this thing?Copy !req
1544. Don't push it.
Sorry.Copy !req
1545. Holy shit.Copy !req
1546. How the hell did this happen?Copy !req
1547. It's a miracle.Copy !req
1548. Stifler.Copy !req
1549. Save it, dickhead.
I'm working.Copy !req
1550. You're an asshole.Copy !req
1551. I know.Copy !req
1552. You really are an asshole.Copy !req
1553. Thanks.Copy !req
1554. I don't do apologies
so good.Copy !req
1555. Well,
you get an "A" for effort.
This is amazing.Copy !req
1556. Cool. I was always
kind of a "C" student.Copy !req
1557. So did you do all this
just to have sex with meCopy !req
1558. or because you really care
about the wedding?Copy !req
1559. Both.Copy !req
1560. And...Copy !req
1561. I really like you.Copy !req
1562. What?Copy !req
1563. I like you.Copy !req
1564. That's an honest answer.Copy !req
1565. I gotta go.Copy !req
1566. Steve Stifler
just gave a rose to
a girl, and meant it.Copy !req
1567. This is huge.Copy !req
1568. It's like watching monkeys
use tools for the first time.Copy !req
1569. Are you still pissed
about me and Cadence?Copy !req
1570. No, let's see,Copy !req
1571. she wasn't into
the heavy
intellectual stuff.Copy !req
1572. She actually liked me
being that imbecile.Copy !req
1573. No. Somehow, I think
she's probably
better off with you.Copy !req
1574. Thanks, Shitbreak.Copy !req
1575. Dick. I fucking
hate not hating you.Copy !req
1576. I did fuck your mom.Copy !req
1577. Twice.Copy !req
1578. That's better, fucker!Copy !req
1579. Oh. Whoa!Copy !req
1580. Ready to go?Copy !req
1581. Um...Copy !req
1582. The wedding's not
for another hour.Copy !req
1583. No, I mean you and me.Copy !req
1584. Hold on.Copy !req
1585. Do I still got to do
this bullshit meeting?Copy !req
1586. Stifler, you are not
bailing on Jim.Copy !req
1587. Shit! Give me 10 minutes?Copy !req
1588. I'll meet you at the closet.Copy !req
1589. At the closet.Copy !req
1590. You wanted to
see me, Michelle?Copy !req
1591. Oh! Okay. Sit.Copy !req
1592. So, Jim said
that you've always kind
of been there for himCopy !req
1593. when he needed you.Copy !req
1594. So I thought maybe
you could help me.Copy !req
1595. Jim said that?Copy !req
1596. What's the problem?Copy !req
1597. I still can't
get my vows right.Copy !req
1598. I haven't been this confused
since I got my first period.Copy !req
1599. That's a very confusing time
for any young lady.Copy !req
1600. You know, your body is
going through changes.Copy !req
1601. Stuff coming out,
stuff going in.Copy !req
1602. No. I need help with
my vows, not my period.Copy !req
1603. Oh, your vows.
Your vows.Copy !req
1604. Yes, good. Go on.Copy !req
1605. Jim just wants
a groomsmen meeting
before the wedding.Copy !req
1606. It shouldn't take long.
Just don't let
her talk to anyone.Copy !req
1607. All right.Copy !req
1608. Be careful. She's feisty.Copy !req
1609. Okay, let's go.Copy !req
1610. Hey, guys.
Thanks for coming out
here and meeting me.Copy !req
1611. I just have a couple
of things I want to say.Copy !req
1612. This sucks.Copy !req
1613. Did I say that out loud?Copy !req
1614. Keep going. It's good.Copy !req
1615. You know, I thought
about what you said, Kev,Copy !req
1616. about how my problems
always seem to work out.Copy !req
1617. And I realized that
the reason
things always work outCopy !req
1618. is because you guys
have always been there
to back me up.Copy !req
1619. Even you, Stifler.Copy !req
1620. For the first time
in my life,Copy !req
1621. I actually feel like
I can't mess anything up.Copy !req
1622. Which is pretty amazing.Copy !req
1623. So I guess I just
wanted to say thank you.Copy !req
1624. Thanks.Copy !req
1625. Thanks? This whole
thing was about thanks?Copy !req
1626. You're welcome, cock block.Copy !req
1627. That was good, Jim.
Real nice.Copy !req
1628. Let's get you married.Copy !req
1629. Okay.Copy !req
1630. Love is very
difficult to describe.Copy !req
1631. And I understand the angst.
I mean, it's your wedding.Copy !req
1632. And it's natural.
It's perfectly natural.Copy !req
1633. But it's impossible
to describe a feeling.Copy !req
1634. Okay, first,
nothing is impossible.Copy !req
1635. So let's not focus on that.Copy !req
1636. Why do you think, Michelle,Copy !req
1637. they call it making love?Copy !req
1638. I don't know.
I just call it boning.Copy !req
1639. "Boning"?Copy !req
1640. When you're doing
other things with Jim,Copy !req
1641. when you're not boning,Copy !req
1642. how does he make you feel?Copy !req
1643. Horny, like I want to bone.Copy !req
1644. But we can't be boning
from sunrise to sunset, dear.Copy !req
1645. Oh, you've never tried it?Copy !req
1646. I certainly have.
I have. I've boned.Copy !req
1647. From sunrise,
right through brunch,
on more than one occasion.Copy !req
1648. But boning aside,Copy !req
1649. I think they call it
making love becauseCopy !req
1650. you have to make love work.Copy !req
1651. You know, it's about
compromise and sacrificeCopy !req
1652. and I think Jim has
sacrificed for you.Copy !req
1653. My God, he shaved his
entire pubic region,Copy !req
1654. which would
baffle most culturesCopy !req
1655. around the world,
but he did it.Copy !req
1656. And he did it for you.Copy !req
1657. You're right.
Love isn't just a feeling.Copy !req
1658. It's shaving your balls.Copy !req
1659. Thanks, Dad.Copy !req
1660. I wouldn't get
into too much detail
on that, dear.Copy !req
1661. Excuse me.
Pardon me. Excuse me.Copy !req
1662. Yeah. Excuse me.
Touch me. Fuck me.Copy !req
1663. I'm gonna have
sex with Cadence.Copy !req
1664. You know, Son,
I think this is probablyCopy !req
1665. the right time to
tell you that...Copy !req
1666. I know, Dad.Copy !req
1667. I can't see anything here.Copy !req
1668. Oh, there you are.Copy !req
1669. Guys, what are you doing?
Where's Jim's grandma?Copy !req
1670. The old bitch sucked.
We had to ditch her.Copy !req
1671. You what?Copy !req
1672. Don't worry.
We put her someplace
no one will find her.Copy !req
1673. Cadence, where are
you going?Copy !req
1674. Oh, Mom.Copy !req
1675. Oh, baby,
I'm so ready for this.Copy !req
1676. Your body's not quite
what I was expecting.
But that's okay.Copy !req
1677. The Stiffman digs
what's underneath.Copy !req
1678. Oh, you are so beautiful.Copy !req
1679. I just wanted...Copy !req
1680. Stifler!Copy !req
1681. Granny.Copy !req
1682. Granny what?Copy !req
1683. Focus! Focus! Focus!Copy !req
1684. It's not what
it looks like!Copy !req
1685. Shut the fucking door!Copy !req
1686. You got it, champ.Copy !req
1687. You're a hero.Copy !req
1688. Hey, pussy's pussy.Copy !req
1689. Look at the smile
on my mother's face.Copy !req
1690. Do you know how
long she's been waiting
for a day like this?Copy !req
1691. I can't imagine.Copy !req
1692. I couldn't be happier.Copy !req
1693. Thank you.Copy !req
1694. Don't.Copy !req
1695. Good luck.
Thank you, sir.Copy !req
1696. What made Grandma
come around?Copy !req
1697. Finch said
Stifler talked to her.Copy !req
1698. Stifler?Copy !req
1699. Grandmotherfucker.Copy !req
1700. You're a motherfucker.Copy !req
1701. Yes, I am.Copy !req
1702. You son of a bitch.Copy !req
1703. And I promise to love you
for as long as I shall live.Copy !req
1704. Michelle,
you are the one woman
I want to be withCopy !req
1705. and the woman
I can't be without.Copy !req
1706. I love you.Copy !req
1707. Jim, I had trouble
finding the words to
tell you how I feelCopy !req
1708. and I realized something.Copy !req
1709. Love isn't just a feeling.Copy !req
1710. Love is something you do.Copy !req
1711. It's a dress,
a visit to band camp,Copy !req
1712. a special haircut.Copy !req
1713. Jim, you've given me
everything I've ever wanted,Copy !req
1714. and it is my solemn vow
to give everything
I am to you.Copy !req
1715. Thanks.Copy !req
1716. James Emanuel Levenstein
and Michelle
Annabeth Flaherty,Copy !req
1717. I hereby pronounce you
husband and wife.Copy !req
1718. You may kiss the bride.Copy !req
1719. Let's all welcome
Mr. And Mrs.
Jim and Michelle LevensteinCopy !req
1720. onto the dance floor.Copy !req
1721. Just follow my lead.Copy !req
1722. I'll try.Copy !req
1723. I taught him that.Copy !req
1724. Jim, you learnt to dance.Copy !req
1725. Well, it seems like
everything worked out.Copy !req
1726. Magnificently.Copy !req
1727. I feel a bit sadCopy !req
1728. that tonight
our little Michelle
is gonna be a woman.Copy !req
1729. Honey, you don't
honestly believe that
Michelle is still a...Copy !req
1730. I tell you, Mary,
I can't recall a single moment
with either one of themCopy !req
1731. that would make
me think otherwise.Copy !req
1732. Thank you. See?Copy !req
1733. Whoa!Copy !req
1734. Hey, tough guy.Copy !req
1735. Stifler's mom.Copy !req
1736. Well, we meet again.Copy !req
1737. I was curious.
Didn't see you here.Copy !req
1738. I try to keep a low profile.Copy !req
1739. I never really did
like these things, anyway.Copy !req
1740. You know,
this has actually made
quite an impression on me.Copy !req
1741. I have something to
look for in a woman now.Copy !req
1742. Well, if this is your idea
of a proposal, Finchy,Copy !req
1743. you gotta know
that I'm over you now.Copy !req
1744. And I'm over you.Copy !req
1745. But as they say,
we will always have Paris.Copy !req
1746. And the pool table.Copy !req
1747. And the car.Copy !req
1748. And the two-room
suite I have upstairs.Copy !req
1749. Come here.Copy !req
1750. This turned out better
than I could ever imagine.Copy !req
1751. How did a little perv
like you turn into such
a great guy?Copy !req
1752. How did a little
nympho like you
turn into such a great girl?Copy !req
1753. I'm still a nympho.Copy !req
1754. I'm still a perv.Copy !req
1755. I know.
What's wrong with us?Copy !req
1756. You did it.Copy !req
1757. You know, Michelle,
to quote someone I've
learned quite a bit from,Copy !req
1758. I think you and I areCopy !req
1759. "a perfectly natural,
normal thing."Copy !req
1760. Perfectly natural.Copy !req
1761. That's her.Copy !req
1762. Holy shit, dude.Copy !req
1763. I told you this
wedding would be worth it.Copy !req
1764. Oh, my goddess. My queen.Copy !req
1765. My MILF.
MILF.Copy !req
1766. No way, bro.Copy !req
1767. Hey, you're not
finished yet,
are you, Finchy?Copy !req
1768. No, ma'am.
Just getting started.Copy !req
1769. This guy is
the fucking master.Copy !req
1770. Oh, no!Copy !req
1771. Make it stop.
Make it stop.Copy !req
1772. Oh, Stifler's mom.Copy !req