1. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
2. Oh, you're so good.Copy !req
3. Oh, yes. I am the best, baby.Copy !req
4. Oh, yeah!
Oh. Oh, that was a tit.Copy !req
5. That is a tit! Yes!Copy !req
6. Oh, you're so big!Copy !req
7. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's right, baby.Copy !req
8. Oh, doggie
wants to hide his bone.
Yes!Copy !req
9. Oh, yeah!
I'm bone smuggling, baby.Copy !req
10. Man, would you shut up?Copy !req
11. Hey, Jimmy.
Just wanted to say
sweet dreams.Copy !req
12. Yeah, yeah. Sweet dreams.
Good night, Mom.Copy !req
13. Kiss good night.Copy !req
14. Something wrong
with the reception?Copy !req
15. Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
16. There's this nature show . . .Copy !req
17. Take it off
. . . that I'm trying to watch.Copy !req
18. And the birds
are all scrambledCopy !req
19. and I can't even . . .
Do me! Yes!Copy !req
20. Baby!
Ride me like a pony!Copy !req
21. The thing must be brokenCopy !req
22. or I sat on the remote
or something.Copy !req
23. Getting ready for bed, Son?Copy !req
24. Yup, I'm all set, Dad.
I'm all set.Copy !req
25. Yeah?
No! No, I thinkCopy !req
26. he's tried to watch
some illegal channels here.Copy !req
27. lllegal . . .
lllegal channels?Copy !req
28. This is just
bad reception, honey.Copy !req
29. Oh, spank my hairy ass!
What's that?Copy !req
30. Oh, baby!Copy !req
31. You know what?
Here. Just give me
this, please . . .Copy !req
32. Oh, my God!
And let's get this . . .Copy !req
33. Okay, okay. Let's . . .
What the hell's the matter
with this thing?Copy !req
34. Yes!Copy !req
35. OZ: lllegal channels? Shit!Copy !req
36. if there's any channel that
should be illegal, it's that
"all-woman's" channel.Copy !req
37. Lifetime supply of pantyhose
or some shit.
Yeah.Copy !req
38. Hey, did you see
The Little Mermaid
on TV the other night?Copy !req
39. No.
Ariel, man. She's so hot!Copy !req
40. She's a mermaid, dude.Copy !req
41. Yeah, Oz.
But not when she's on land.Copy !req
42. Come on, Vicky,
it's Stifler's party.
We got to go. It'll be great.Copy !req
43. Why? All that happens
at Stifler's parties is
people get drunk and do it.Copy !req
44. Yeah.Copy !req
45. Now, come on, Kevin.
Open it.Copy !req
46. It's a big,
thick envelope, Vicky.
You got in.Copy !req
47. if you think so,
just open it.Copy !req
48. Fine.Copy !req
49. "Dear Miss Latham,
we're sorry but after keeping
you on the waiting listCopy !req
50. "for the past couple
of months, we've decided
that you are now rejected."Copy !req
51. Shut up!Copy !req
52. You got in.Copy !req
53. Yes! I love you!Copy !req
54. Okay.Copy !req
55. Hey, you think
I should wear this shirt
to Stifler's party?Copy !req
56. You've worn that shirt
for, like, three days
in a row, man!Copy !req
57. Guys. She said it.Copy !req
58. Said what?Copy !req
59. She said she loves me.Copy !req
60. Holy shit, dude!
The "L" word?
Oh, man!Copy !req
61. Cornell's not that far
from U of M.Copy !req
62. Yeah, it's only, like,
seven hours.Copy !req
63. Oh, and you get to
drive across Canada.Copy !req
64. Beautiful country.Copy !req
65. Whatever. It's doable.Copy !req
66. What we should do today,
in band.Copy !req
67. lnstead of playing our
instruments regularly, we
should play them backwards.Copy !req
68. That'll be so funny!
Yeah.Copy !req
69. No offense,
but you're talking aboutCopy !req
70. a post-high school,
long-distance relationship.Copy !req
71. And you and Kevin
haven't even done it yet.Copy !req
72. That's not why
we're going out.Copy !req
73. What do you expect him
to drive to Cornell for?
Milk and cookies?Copy !req
74. We're gonna have sex
when he's ready
and I'm ready.Copy !req
75. It's got to be
completely perfect.Copy !req
76. I want the right time,
the right moment,
the right place . . .Copy !req
77. Vicky, it's not
a space shuttle launch.
It's sex.Copy !req
78. Finch.
Here's the man
we are looking for.Copy !req
79. Gentlemen.
What's going on, buddy?Copy !req
80. Same old.Copy !req
81. Finch.
You got the Latin homework?Copy !req
82. Oh.Copy !req
83. It means, "My dog ate it."
It's Latin. It's a joke.Copy !req
84. It's a Latin joke.
Yeah, Latin.
Just drink your coffee.Copy !req
85. You know, Jim,
it's mochaccino.Copy !req
86. What?Copy !req
87. What I'm drinking,
it's mochaccino.
It's not coffee.Copy !req
88. 'Nova!Copy !req
89. What's up, dude?Copy !req
90. You coming to the party
tonight, Ozzie,
you fuckface?Copy !req
91. OZ: Depends if my date
wants to stop by.Copy !req
92. I'm working
on something new.Copy !req
93. I got an idea
about something new.Copy !req
94. How about you guys
actually locate your dicks,Copy !req
95. remove the shrink-wrap
and fucking use them!Copy !req
96. Dude, it's gonna happen.
She's a college chick.Copy !req
97. Oh, right.
I'll see you guys tonight.Copy !req
98. I'll look for you
in the no-fucking section.Copy !req
99. All right.
I'm shooting for a 9:00 ETA,
beer in hand by five after.Copy !req
100. Breath check.Copy !req
101. Thank you.Copy !req
102. I wish
you wouldn't do that.Copy !req
103. So, you got something up
your sleeve for tonight?Copy !req
104. This is a foolproof plan,
my friend.Copy !req
105. I have a serious question
to ask you guys. Okay.Copy !req
106. You know Nadia
the Czechoslovakian chick?
She might be there tonight.Copy !req
107. Now, do you think
she would preferCopy !req
108. laid-back Jim, orCopy !req
109. cool, hip Jim?Copy !req
110. I don't think it really
matters with that
shirt you're wearing.Copy !req
111. What? Correct me if
I'm wrong but you're the one
with the girlfriendCopy !req
112. and you're still
stranded on third base.Copy !req
113. Hey, at least I know
what third base feels like,
okay?Copy !req
114. You're still
just a batboy.Copy !req
115. Batboy. Batboy.Copy !req
116. What are you
talking about?Copy !req
117. Guys,Copy !req
118. what exactly does
third base feel like?Copy !req
119. You wanna take this one?Copy !req
120. Like warm apple pie.Copy !req
121. Yeah?
Yeah.Copy !req
122. Apple pie, huh?
Uh-huh.Copy !req
123. McDonald's or homemade?Copy !req
124. Gentlemen, destiny awaits.Copy !req
125. It's been one week
since you looked at meCopy !req
126. Cocked your head to the side
and said, I'm angryCopy !req
127. That's number five and six
for the Stif-meister!Copy !req
128. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
129. Oops!Copy !req
130. Holy!
Hey!Copy !req
131. Nadia! Buenos dias.
Glad you could make it.Copy !req
132. I'll be back
for you later.Copy !req
133. Now the party's startin'!
How you doing?Copy !req
134. Welcome to Stifler's
Palace of Love, fellas.Copy !req
135. The keg's back there! Enjoy!
Yeah.Copy !req
136. Vicky, Jessica!
Great to see you.
Glad you could make it.Copy !req
137. Haha, bitches!Copy !req
138. Sherman!
Hey!Copy !req
139. What the fuck
are you doing here?Copy !req
140. Fellas! What's going on?Copy !req
141. Sherman. Not much.
Just scoping the babes.Copy !req
142. lndeed!
Some fine ladies here, boys.Copy !req
143. Confidence is high.
Repeat. Confidence is high.Copy !req
144. Sherman is moving
to DEFCON 2.Copy !req
145. Full strategic arsenal
ready for deployment.Copy !req
146. Hey!Copy !req
147. You have something
going tonight, Sherman?Copy !req
148. You see that Central chick,
Bernette?Copy !req
149. No.
No.Copy !req
150. She's around.
Seems she's taken
a liking to me.Copy !req
151. Fellas, it's time
she experienced
the Sherminator.Copy !req
152. Yeah, okay, Sherman.
Whatever.Copy !req
153. I'm a sophisticated sex robot
sent back through timeCopy !req
154. to change the future
for one lucky lady.Copy !req
155. Go get them, tiger.Copy !req
156. (lMlTATlNG
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER)
I'll be back!Copy !req
157. Hopeless.
Completely.Copy !req
158. Hi.
Hey, Vic.Copy !req
159. Oh, shit. Guys, guys.Copy !req
160. There's Nadia and
she just looked at me.Copy !req
161. She just looked at me.Copy !req
162. Well, why don't you
go talk to her?Copy !req
163. Yeah.Copy !req
164. Yeah, you're right, Kev.
I should just go talk to her.Copy !req
165. Yeah, I could do that. Sure.Copy !req
166. Sure.Copy !req
167. Kev? Kev?Copy !req
168. Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
169. At lastCopy !req
170. My loveCopy !req
171. Has come alongCopy !req
172. My Ionely days are overCopy !req
173. That's great!Copy !req
174. And life is like a songCopy !req
175. Oh, yeah, yeahCopy !req
176. At lastCopy !req
177. See you later.Copy !req
178. The stars aboveCopy !req
179. We're here for the party.Copy !req
180. What party?
There's no party.Copy !req
181. Weird. Try the house
down the street.Copy !req
182. OZ: So, what's your major?Copy !req
183. Post-modern
feminist thought.Copy !req
184. Oh, cool.
Great night, isn't it?Copy !req
185. Sure.Copy !req
186. Yeah, it's just something
about the springtime
that's just cool, you know?Copy !req
187. Like the smell of fresh rain
or something.Copy !req
188. Mmm.Copy !req
189. Suck me, beautiful.Copy !req
190. What did you just say?Copy !req
191. Suck me, beautiful.Copy !req
192. My friends call me "'Nova,"
as in Casanova.Copy !req
193. That's pathetic.Copy !req
194. Jeez, you don't have
to laugh at me.Copy !req
195. Well, there's just
some things you need
to learn, that's all.Copy !req
196. Like what?
Well, you've got to
tone it down.Copy !req
197. You don't need to come
to a place like Lookout PointCopy !req
198. and spout off
cheeseball lines
to be romantic.Copy !req
199. Okay.Copy !req
200. You have to pay
attention to a girl.Copy !req
201. Be sensitive to her feelings.
Relationships are reciprocal.Copy !req
202. Come on, Casanova.
I'll take you back
to your friends.Copy !req
203. Vicky, think it's time
to take the next step
in our relationship?Copy !req
204. Tonight?Copy !req
205. Yeah, it's such
a perfect evening.Copy !req
206. I mean,
it's how you've always
pictured it, isn't it?Copy !req
207. Man, my farts
fucking stink!Copy !req
208. Dude, you gotta
take a shit!
You smell like a yeti!Copy !req
209. Or not.Copy !req
210. Just relax.Copy !req
211. You actually said that?Copy !req
212. Shut up!Copy !req
213. You did a hell of
a lot better than
I did with Nadia.Copy !req
214. Oh, thanks, Jim,
that's great.
That's really reassuring.Copy !req
215. Hey, no problem, 'Nova.Copy !req
216. Hey, don't call me
'Nova anymore.
I'm a . . . I'm a fraud.Copy !req
217. You guys are pathetic.Copy !req
218. I'm gonna find myself
a little hottie.Copy !req
219. "Suck me, beautiful!"Copy !req
220. Let me know.Copy !req
221. Okay.Copy !req
222. Keep going.Copy !req
223. I should be able
to talk to girls.Copy !req
224. I'm articulate.Copy !req
225. You know, I got a 720
on my SAT verbal.Copy !req
226. Bullshit.
There's no way.Copy !req
227. I kid you not, man.
Look. Listen.Copy !req
228. Copious. Verisimilitude.Copy !req
229. Oh, oh. Now.Copy !req
230. Suck me, beautiful!Copy !req
231. Damn it, Stifler.Copy !req
232. Checkout time!Copy !req
233. Please, vacate the room.Copy !req
234. You are such a jerk.Copy !req
235. God, I can't believe
how many cool people
are at this party.Copy !req
236. Yup.Copy !req
237. And you got a keg too!Copy !req
238. Wow!Copy !req
239. lndeed.Copy !req
240. Oh, wait.
I left my beer downstairs.Copy !req
241. No. No. Here, babe!Copy !req
242. Thanks.Copy !req
243. You're really beautiful. Oh.Copy !req
244. Really?Copy !req
245. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
246. You know what?
I don't know if I want
to be doing this.Copy !req
247. Doing what?Copy !req
248. You know, like,
if we hook up tonight,Copy !req
249. tomorrow I'll just be
some girl you go telling
all your friends about.Copy !req
250. No way!Copy !req
251. Steve, you could
at least look at me
when you say that!Copy !req
252. Look. Sarah,Copy !req
253. I wouldn't go telling stories
or anything about you.Copy !req
254. I promise. So, just relax,Copy !req
255. take it slow and
let the good times roll.Copy !req
256. Okay.Copy !req
257. All right.Copy !req
258. What's wrong?Copy !req
259. What's wrong?
What is it?Copy !req
260. Xenophobic.Copy !req
261. Oh!Copy !req
262. Regurgitation.Copy !req
263. I know that one.Copy !req
264. Kevin likes it.Copy !req
265. He likes getting head.Copy !req
266. Gee, what a total shocker.
What about you, Vicky?Copy !req
267. I mean, have you just
never had one with Kevin,Copy !req
268. or have you never had one,
period?Copy !req
269. I've had one.Copy !req
270. I think.
Okay.Copy !req
271. That's a no.
No wonder you're not
psyched about sex.Copy !req
272. You tell me
you never even
had one manually?Copy !req
273. I've never tried it.Copy !req
274. You've never
double-clicked your mouse?Copy !req
275. Ha-ha, nice!Copy !req
276. Jesus! Stifler,
how much did you drink, man?Copy !req
277. Hey, Stifler?
How's the pale ale?Copy !req
278. Fuck you!Copy !req
279. That's Stifler's mom?Copy !req
280. Yup.Copy !req
281. Shit. I cannot believe
a fine woman like this
produced a guy like Stifler.Copy !req
282. Dude, that chick's a MlLF.Copy !req
283. What the hell is that?Copy !req
284. M-l-L-F.
Mom I'd like to fuck.Copy !req
285. Yeah, dude!Copy !req
286. Oh, ho, yeah!Copy !req
287. Yeah! MlLF! MlLF!
Yeah! MlLF! MlLF!Copy !req
288. Hey, guys. Guys. Guys.Copy !req
289. Come here.Copy !req
290. Sherman, what's going on?Copy !req
291. Yeah, don't you think
you fellas could try
a little tact?Copy !req
292. I got company,
if you know what I mean?Copy !req
293. She's hot!Copy !req
294. if Sherman has sex
before I do,
I'm gonna be really pissed.Copy !req
295. Sherman?
The Sherminator?Copy !req
296. Come on, man.Copy !req
297. MlLF! MlLF!
MlLF! MlLF!Copy !req
298. Dude, hey, dude.
What are you
doing to her, dude?Copy !req
299. Oh, my God, bro. Dude.Copy !req
300. Enough of this
blow job bullshit.Copy !req
301. I gotta get laid already.Copy !req
302. That's nice.
Really, really nice.Copy !req
303. Can I have a ride?
Sure.Copy !req
304. Vicky, wait.
Not for you.Copy !req
305. Yeti! I am the Yeti!Copy !req
306. Good morning, gentlemen.
Finch.Copy !req
307. Where were you
last night, huh?Copy !req
308. What happened
to that foolproof plan
of yours?Copy !req
309. Well, I was going for a
fashionably-late entrance
and I was too late.Copy !req
310. So, no ladies left.Copy !req
311. It was a very
special night, very special.Copy !req
312. Guys. Guys.Copy !req
313. I'll never forget this.Copy !req
314. Oh, I'll never forget it,
either.Copy !req
315. Thank you.Copy !req
316. Well, bye.
Bye.Copy !req
317. Bye.Copy !req
318. Fellas, say goodbye
to Chuck Sherman, the boy.Copy !req
319. I am now a man.Copy !req
320. I highly recommend
you join the club.Copy !req
321. We were doing
the wild thing all night.
I'm exhausted.Copy !req
322. I don't get it.
I mean, how the hell
did you do that?Copy !req
323. It was just my time.
It was just my time.Copy !req
324. Best of luck
to you boys.Copy !req
325. I cannot believe this.
Come on, guys.Copy !req
326. You know,
we should be
happy for Sherman.Copy !req
327. No, we shouldn't be.Copy !req
328. You know,
I put in months of
quality time with Vicky.Copy !req
329. Sherman meets a chick
for one night and scores.Copy !req
330. This is just wrong.Copy !req
331. No shit.Copy !req
332. How the hell am I supposed
to become Mr. Sensitive Man?Copy !req
333. You know, we're all gonna
go to college as virgins.
You realize this, right?Copy !req
334. I mean, they probably
have special dorms
for people like us.Copy !req
335. All right. I got an idea.
But it's got to stay
between us.Copy !req
336. It's really simple.
We just got to
make an agreement.Copy !req
337. No. It's more than
an agreement.Copy !req
338. What? A bet?
A pact.Copy !req
339. No money involved.
More important
than any bet.Copy !req
340. Here's the deal.
We all get laid
before we graduate.Copy !req
341. Dude, it's not like
I haven't been
trying to get laid.Copy !req
342. Think about when
you work out, Oz.Copy !req
343. You gotta have
someone there, right?Copy !req
344. Someone to spot you.
Someone to keep you
motivated.Copy !req
345. Well, that's exactly
what we can do
for each other.Copy !req
346. I mean, we'll be there
to keep each other on track.Copy !req
347. Separately, we are flawed
and vulnerable, but together,Copy !req
348. we are the masters
of our sexual destiny.Copy !req
349. (lMlTATlNG DUBBED
KUNG-FU ACTOR) Their
tiger-style kung fu is strong.Copy !req
350. But our dragon-style
will defeat it.Copy !req
351. Guys!
The Shaolin mastersCopy !req
352. from East and West
must unite!Copy !req
353. Fight, and find out
who is number one.
Guys!Copy !req
354. Come on.
You're ruining
my moment here.Copy !req
355. This is our
very manhood at stake.Copy !req
356. We must make a stand,
here and now.Copy !req
357. No longer will our penises
remain flaccid and unused!Copy !req
358. We will fight for every man
out there who isn't
getting laid and should be.Copy !req
359. This is our day.
This is our time.Copy !req
360. And, by God, we will
not stand by and watch history
condemn us into celibacy.Copy !req
361. Amen. Yes.
I like that.Copy !req
362. We will make a stand.
We will succeed.
About time!Copy !req
363. We will get laid!Copy !req
364. Yeah!Copy !req
365. Now, the sex.
It's got to be valid,
consensual sex.Copy !req
366. No prostitutes.
That's what you're
thinking, Finch.Copy !req
367. Busted.Copy !req
368. So, basically,
prom is our last chance.Copy !req
369. Oh, dude. Prom sucks.
I know,Copy !req
370. but you gotta
think about it this way.Copy !req
371. I mean,
all the parties afterwards?Copy !req
372. The chicks are going to
want to do it.Copy !req
373. Yeah, yeah, he's right.
It's, like,
tradition or something.Copy !req
374. The Rose Bowl.Copy !req
375. So, that gives us . . .Copy !req
376. Exactly three weeks
to the day.Copy !req
377. We're gonna do this.
All right, to the next step!Copy !req
378. Next step!
Next step!Copy !req
379. I have visions
I was in them I was
Iooking into the mirrorCopy !req
380. To see a little
bit clearerCopy !req
381. The rottenness
and evil in meCopy !req
382. Fingertips have memories
Mine can't forget the
curves of your bodyCopy !req
383. And when
I feel a bit naughtyCopy !req
384. I run it up the flagpole
and seeCopy !req
385. Who salutes
but no one ever doesCopy !req
386. I'm not sick,
but I'm not wellCopy !req
387. And I'm so hotCopy !req
388. 'Cause I'm in hellCopy !req
389. Been around the world
and found that only
stupid people are breedingCopy !req
390. The cretins
cloning and feeding
and I don't even own a TVCopy !req
391. Well, did you get
the flowers?Copy !req
392. Hear the voices in my head,
I swear to GodCopy !req
393. It sounds like
they're snoringCopy !req
394. But if you're bored,
then you're boringCopy !req
395. The agony and the ironyCopy !req
396. They're killing me, whoa!Copy !req
397. I'm not sick,
but I'm not wellCopy !req
398. And I'm so hotCopy !req
399. 'Cause I'm in hellCopy !req
400. Don't worry.
You'll get her back
soon enough.Copy !req
401. You think so?
Sure, she likes you.Copy !req
402. Well, I like her too.Copy !req
403. Do you love her?Copy !req
404. You know what?
You can't really
ask me that.Copy !req
405. Well, if you want to get her
in the sack, I mean,
just tell her you love her.Copy !req
406. That's how I was duped.Copy !req
407. Look, Jessica,Copy !req
408. I don't want to dupe her.Copy !req
409. All right. What you need
to do is learn how to
press a girl's buttons.Copy !req
410. You have to give her
what she's never had.Copy !req
411. What's that?Copy !req
412. Let me give you a hint.Copy !req
413. Oh, Kev! Yeah.Copy !req
414. ¿Comprende?
You mean an orgasm.Copy !req
415. You got it, stud!
Well, you know,Copy !req
416. I'm . . . I'm pretty sure
that I've given her a . . .Copy !req
417. No, you haven't.Copy !req
418. Well, there was one time . . .
No.Copy !req
419. Oh, man.Copy !req
420. Look, kid, it's up to you.Copy !req
421. The big I or the big O.Copy !req
422. Dickhead!Copy !req
423. You gotta see this.Copy !req
424. Do you believe in magicCopy !req
425. In a young girl's heartCopy !req
426. How the music can free her
whenever it startsCopy !req
427. And it's magic
if the music is groovyCopy !req
428. It makes you feel happyCopy !req
429. What did you cocks
do to him?Copy !req
430. I'll tell you
about the magic
It'll free your soulCopy !req
431. But it's like
trying to tell a stranger
'bout rock 'n' rollCopy !req
432. Great. See you next time.Copy !req
433. Hey, guys.
Came to watch me in action?Copy !req
434. Yeah.Copy !req
435. I think you sounded
pretty good.Copy !req
436. Yeah, man.Copy !req
437. I think you need
your balls reattached.Copy !req
438. Hey, keep it down, dude.Copy !req
439. What the fuck
are you doing here?Copy !req
440. This place is an
untapped resource.Copy !req
441. I mean, check it out.Copy !req
442. These vocal jazz girls
are hot.Copy !req
443. Why the hell is he
joining jazz choir so late?Copy !req
444. Maybe he's preparing for
another senior year at East?Copy !req
445. You guys,
we don't even know him.Copy !req
446. You dipshit!Copy !req
447. You're expecting to score
with some goody-goody
choir girl priss?Copy !req
448. These chicks don't know me.
I can work the sensitive angle
here, fellas!Copy !req
449. You know,
it's just like that
college chick told me.Copy !req
450. All that you gotta do
is just ask them questionsCopy !req
451. and listen to what
they have to say and shit.Copy !req
452. I don't know, man.
That sounds like
a lot of work!Copy !req
453. Just a second!Copy !req
454. Come in. Come in.Copy !req
455. Oh, Jim, you're here.Copy !req
456. I was just walking by
your room and . . .Copy !req
457. And, you know,
I was thinking,Copy !req
458. "Boy, it's been a long time
since we've had
a little father-son chat."Copy !req
459. Oh! I almost forgot.
l . . . I bought some magazines.Copy !req
460. Do you want to just flip
to the center section?Copy !req
461. Well, this is the . . .
This is the female form.Copy !req
462. And they have
focused on the breastsCopy !req
463. which are used primarily
to feed young infantsCopy !req
464. and also in foreplay.Copy !req
465. Right.Copy !req
466. This is . . .
This is Hustler.Copy !req
467. And this is a much more
exotic magazine.Copy !req
468. Now, they have decided
to focus more
on the pubic region . . .Copy !req
469. Right. Uh-huh.
. . . the whole groin area.Copy !req
470. Look at the expression
on her face.Copy !req
471. You see that?
See what she's doing?Copy !req
472. She's kind of looking
right into your eyes saying,Copy !req
473. "Hey, big boy.
Hey, how you doing?"Copy !req
474. You see?
Right.Copy !req
475. Shaved is a magazine
I'm not too familiar with,Copy !req
476. but, again,
if you flip to the centerCopy !req
477. section . . .Copy !req
478. Well, you see the detail
that, that they go into
in this picture here.Copy !req
479. Yeah.Copy !req
480. It almost looks like
a tropical plant or someCopy !req
481. underwater thing.
Yeah. Yes.Copy !req
482. Do you know
what a clitoris is?
Oh, my God.Copy !req
483. Well, don't say, "Oh . . ."
Yes, I know
what a clitoris is.Copy !req
484. Oh, you do. Oh, I see.
Yes, you do.Copy !req
485. I forgot, you've been
there and back.
You know everything.Copy !req
486. I've learned about it
in Sex Ed.Copy !req
487. I really don't need you
to talk about clitoris.Copy !req
488. I'm trying to
make this painless . . .Copy !req
489. You know what? I'm sorry.
Okay? I'm sorry.Copy !req
490. No, no, no.Copy !req
491. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.Copy !req
492. I shouldn't have
got hot there.Copy !req
493. Well, you know what
I'm going to do, Jim.Copy !req
494. I'm going to just
leave these books hereCopy !req
495. for you to peruse at your . . .
At your leisure.Copy !req
496. Wait!Copy !req
497. Well, safer than a tube sock.Copy !req
498. Okay, that . . .
That was good.
Yeah.Copy !req
499. See you at dinner.Copy !req
500. Yeah. I'll see you at dinner.Copy !req
501. So, Finch,
this is your plan?Copy !req
502. You know, I don't think
girls are into the whole
mini-golf thing.Copy !req
503. Kevin, I'm sure
that they're not.Copy !req
504. Actually, there is one
small matter that I need to
ask for your cooperation in.Copy !req
505. In the spirit of
this whole pact,
you know?Copy !req
506. Sure, what do you need?Copy !req
507. Whatever you hear about me,
you agree.Copy !req
508. And tell all the boys
the same thing.Copy !req
509. Look, I gotta go.
16 minutes round-trip.Copy !req
510. You know, Finch, it's,
it's senior year.Copy !req
511. I mean, don't you think
it's time you learned how to
take a dump at school?Copy !req
512. When was the last time
you looked at the facilities
in this school?Copy !req
513. Excuse me.Copy !req
514. That's Paul Finch, right?Copy !req
515. Yeah.Copy !req
516. Well, you've seen him
in the locker room, right?Copy !req
517. Yeah.Copy !req
518. So, my friends,
they want to know.
Is it true?Copy !req
519. You know,
that he's equipped.Copy !req
520. I have no idea.
Finch showers with
his bathing suit on.Copy !req
521. I mean . . .Copy !req
522. As a matter of fact,
it is true.
The guy's huge!Copy !req
523. Does he have a date
for the prom yet?Copy !req
524. No, definitely not.Copy !req
525. All right. Thanks.Copy !req
526. Oh, man!Copy !req
527. So I was thinking maybe
you could give me some advice,
brother to brother.Copy !req
528. I thought you might
know a trick or something
to make her...Copy !req
529. Orgasm?
Yeah.Copy !req
530. What's good here?Copy !req
531. Try the spicy
tuna hand roll.
What?Copy !req
532. How do you do that?
Hey, never mind that.
Listen, pay attention.Copy !req
533. Is that all that you're
interested in, trying to
get your girl into bed?Copy !req
534. No, it'd be good
to be able to, you know,
return the favor.Copy !req
535. Be nice to know
she enjoys things
as much as I do.Copy !req
536. See that? That's good.
That's what I wanted to hear.
Now, you qualify.Copy !req
537. Qualify for what?Copy !req
538. My man,
you've just inherited
the Bible.Copy !req
539. It originally started
as a sex manual,Copy !req
540. this book that some guys
brought back from Amsterdam.Copy !req
541. And each year it got
passed on to one East student
who was worthy.Copy !req
542. Now, it's full of all sorts
of stuff that guys
have added over the years.Copy !req
543. But you have to keep it
a secret and return it
at the end of the year.Copy !req
544. All right.
So now you know. Good luck.Copy !req
545. If you believe in magic
MagicCopy !req
546. Don't you bother to choose
if it's jug band music
or rhythm and bluesCopy !req
547. Just go and listen
It will start with a smileCopy !req
548. That won't wipe off
your face no matter
how hard you tryCopy !req
549. Your feet start tapping and
you can't seem to find,
how you got thereCopy !req
550. Do you believe in magic?Copy !req
551. Scooby-dooby doo bah
Scoo-Scooby-dooby
Dooby-dooby doo bahCopy !req
552. Yeah, magicCopy !req
553. What was that?Copy !req
554. Sorry.
No, it was good.Copy !req
555. Well, it, uh . . .
It came from the heart.Copy !req
556. Well, keep it coming.
All right, people, good work!Copy !req
557. Now, don't forget.
The state competition's
a couple of weeks awayCopy !req
558. so keep on it, okay?Copy !req
559. Not bad, Chris.Copy !req
560. Really?Copy !req
561. Thanks, Heather, right?
Yeah.Copy !req
562. So, you've got this sort of
Frank Sinatra thing going on.Copy !req
563. Right. I feel like
I've discovered this
whole new side of me.Copy !req
564. I mean,
music is so expressive.Copy !req
565. Okay. I mean, I agree, but,Copy !req
566. aren't you supposed to be
out, like, trying to
decapitate someoneCopy !req
567. with your lacrosse stick
or something?Copy !req
568. Oh, sure. Sure.Copy !req
569. You know,
I know what people think.
It's like,Copy !req
570. "Oz, he's just this
kick-ass lacrosse player."Copy !req
571. You know, I also play
football, by the way,
but that's, like,Copy !req
572. that's not all that I am,
you know?Copy !req
573. Of course, I didn't . . .Copy !req
574. I mean, it really bothers me
when people try to
pigeonhole me like that.Copy !req
575. You?Copy !req
576. You think
I don't get that?Copy !req
577. God, it's like just because
I don't get drunk
and barf every weekendCopy !req
578. that people say, "Oh, look.
There's this goody
two-shoes choir girl priss."Copy !req
579. Yeah. So, like,
what else do you do?Copy !req
580. Well, the same things you do,Copy !req
581. like hang out with friends
and stuff.Copy !req
582. Why? What do you think I do?Copy !req
583. Oh, l . . .Copy !req
584. I just realized
that I don't know
anything about you.Copy !req
585. I was interested.Copy !req
586. Oh, well,
what do you want to know?Copy !req
587. You know, stuff, about you.Copy !req
588. All right.Copy !req
589. Mom, I'm home!Copy !req
590. Oh, yeah. Oh!Copy !req
591. Jim!
It's not what it looks like.Copy !req
592. Well, we'll just
tell your mother that,
that we ate it all.Copy !req
593. Goal by
number eight,
Chris Ostreicher.Copy !req
594. Nice game.
Nice game. Good game.Copy !req
595. Hey, what are you
doing here?Copy !req
596. Just enjoying
my first exhilarating
lacrosse experience.Copy !req
597. You kicked butt.
Oh, thanks.Copy !req
598. Chris . . .
Oh, you can call me Oz,
if you want.Copy !req
599. Do I have to?
You can call me Ostreicher.Copy !req
600. What's your middle name?Copy !req
601. No, forget it.Copy !req
602. Come on.
I won't tell anyone.Copy !req
603. Well, neither will l.Copy !req
604. Okay.Copy !req
605. So, I had this thought, andCopy !req
606. it may seem like
it's way out of left field.Copy !req
607. I don't know if you can,Copy !req
608. but since I'm not
going with anybody,
I thought that maybe . . .Copy !req
609. Those guys sucked ass!Copy !req
610. Choir chick,
what the hell are you
doing here?Copy !req
611. Well, I was
asking Chris to prom.Copy !req
612. So, do you want to go?Copy !req
613. Oh, yeah!
That would be great.Copy !req
614. Well, just don't expect Oz
to pay for the limo!Copy !req
615. Stifler, fuck! I mean . . .Copy !req
616. Why do you got to be
so insensitive all the time?Copy !req
617. What?Copy !req
618. Whatever. Look, don't forget.
My cottage after prom.Copy !req
619. On Lake Michigan.Copy !req
620. Hey, wait up, you pussies.
Where you going?Copy !req
621. Well, I gotta . . .
I gotta hit the showers nowCopy !req
622. but I think
this is gonna be really,
really good.Copy !req
623. Yeah. Me too.Copy !req
624. All right.Copy !req
625. Bye. Bye.
Bye.Copy !req
626. 'Appening Oz!
Working with the choir chick?Copy !req
627. What do you say, fellas?
I just dig those cute little
sweaters she wears.Copy !req
628. Nuts you do,
you little horn dog.Copy !req
629. Yeah! Yeah, baby!Copy !req
630. Spank me! Spank me!
Hit that high C.Copy !req
631. Come on!
What's going on here?Copy !req
632. I was being selfish
and majorly insensitive.Copy !req
633. I'm a . . . I'm a total idiot.
I mean, a fool, a buffoon.Copy !req
634. I think shithead
really says it.Copy !req
635. You know what?
You're right.
I'm a shithead,Copy !req
636. and I want to
make it up to you.Copy !req
637. Oh, yeah? How?Copy !req
638. Oh, make me overCopy !req
639. Vicky.
Your parents are downstairs.Copy !req
640. Kevin, don't stop!Copy !req
641. Just a second.Copy !req
642. A walking studyCopy !req
643. In demonologyCopy !req
644. Hey, so glad
you could make itCopy !req
645. Yeah, now you really made itCopy !req
646. Hon, can you tell Vic
to come on down for supper?Copy !req
647. Holy shit!Copy !req
648. You know there's
no lock on your door?Copy !req
649. Oh! I'm coming! I'm coming!Copy !req
650. Oh, Jim!
Dad.Copy !req
651. Hi, I was just looking
at the old family
portrait out here.Copy !req
652. Well, that was a fun day,
wasn't it?Copy !req
653. Oh, yeah.
Yeah.Copy !req
654. Jim, I want to
talk about masturbation.Copy !req
655. Now, I just want you to know
that it's, it's a perfectly
normal thing.Copy !req
656. And I have to admit,
you know,Copy !req
657. I did a fair bit
of masturbating when
I was a little younger.Copy !req
658. l, I used to call it
"stroking the salami."Copy !req
659. Yeah, you know,
"pounding the ol' pud."Copy !req
660. I never did it
with baked goods.Copy !req
661. But you know
your Uncle Mort?Copy !req
662. He "pinched
the one-eyed snake"
five, six times a day.Copy !req
663. See, it's like,
practice for the big game.Copy !req
664. You see?
It's like . . . It's like,Copy !req
665. banging a tennis ball
against a brick wall.Copy !req
666. Which can be fun.
It can be fun,
but it's not a game.Copy !req
667. Right. No.
It's not a game.Copy !req
668. What you want is
you want a partner
to return the ball.Copy !req
669. Do you want a partner?Copy !req
670. Yeah. Yeah,
yeah, I want a partner.Copy !req
671. You do want a partner?
Oh, I want a partner.Copy !req
672. You want a partner.
Good. Good.
Of course.Copy !req
673. Good.Copy !req
674. So, once Hal
becomes king,
he has to take onCopy !req
675. the responsibilities
of leadership
and turn his backCopy !req
676. on his old,
drunken friend, Falstaff.Copy !req
677. You see, Hal is going through
a rite of passage,
much like you all are.Copy !req
678. So make most of the time
you've got left together.
You'll miss it later.Copy !req
679. So, does your tongue
cramp up?Copy !req
680. No. You get kind of
dizzy, though.Copy !req
681. Wow.Copy !req
682. That's amazing.
She's probably gonna
want to do it soon.Copy !req
683. All right.
Class dismissed.Copy !req
684. Still questing after
the Holy Grail, huh, guys?Copy !req
685. Hey, where's Finch?Copy !req
686. Oh, he went home
to take a shit.Copy !req
687. I don't get it.
I just don't.Copy !req
688. How does a guy like that
get this sudden reputation?Copy !req
689. What reputation?Copy !req
690. Observe.Copy !req
691. Excuse me.
Do you know who
Paul Finch is?Copy !req
692. Yeah! He's the guy
with the tattoo, right?Copy !req
693. You know, the eagle
and the blazing fire
and all that stuff.Copy !req
694. Well, if you guys see him
later, will you tell him
Courtney says hi?Copy !req
695. Bye.Copy !req
696. Okay. Explain.Copy !req
697. I can't.Copy !req
698. I don't know how
he's doing it.Copy !req
699. I guess that
just leaves Jim trailing.Copy !req
700. Jimbo!
Better sack up, buddy!Copy !req
701. Yeah, I know.
I'm working on it, all right?Copy !req
702. James?Copy !req
703. You are very good
in the world history class,
yes?Copy !req
704. Me? Yes. No . . .Copy !req
705. Yes, I am.Copy !req
706. Perhaps you could
help me with my studies.Copy !req
707. Yeah. Absolutely.Copy !req
708. That would be . . .
That would be great sometime.Copy !req
709. How about tomorrow?Copy !req
710. Well, I have
ballet practice.Copy !req
711. Perhaps, I could come
by your house afterwards?Copy !req
712. I could change clothes
at your place.Copy !req
713. Oh. Yeah.Copy !req
714. I suppose that
would be okay. Sure.Copy !req
715. Nice car!Copy !req
716. I'm glad you think so.Copy !req
717. You don't like it?Copy !req
718. No, I like the car.
By the way, though,
about prom?Copy !req
719. That was a bad idea.
I'm sorry I invited you.Copy !req
720. What are you
talking about?Copy !req
721. Please.Copy !req
722. I asked you because I thought
you might actually be worth
going with.Copy !req
723. But you are just a jock.
No, wait. You're a jerk.Copy !req
724. Wait! I don't understand.Copy !req
725. I saw you making fun of me
with your lacrosse buddies.Copy !req
726. Heather, I wasn't
making fun of you.Copy !req
727. Give me a break.
You're so full of it.Copy !req
728. Fuck me!Copy !req
729. There's gonna be
an Eastern European chick
naked in your house.Copy !req
730. And you're not gonna
do anything about that?Copy !req
731. What am I gonna do, huh?
Broadcast her
over the lnternet?Copy !req
732. Yeah.
You can do that?Copy !req
733. No. I cannot
do that to her.Copy !req
734. Jim, get some
fucking balls.Copy !req
735. if you don't have the guts
to photograph a naked chick,Copy !req
736. how you gonna
sleep with one?Copy !req
737. I don't like the kid,
but he's got a point.Copy !req
738. See, even shit-brick
knows you should do it.Copy !req
739. All you gotta do is set up
some sort of private link
or whatever on the netCopy !req
740. and tell me the address.Copy !req
741. You can send me
the address too.Copy !req
742. I'll save you a seat.Copy !req
743. How sweet it is to be
Ioved by you, by youCopy !req
744. I needed the shelter
of someone's armsCopy !req
745. Someone's armsCopy !req
746. There you wereCopy !req
747. You were, ohCopy !req
748. I needed someone
to understand
my ups and downsCopy !req
749. There you wereCopy !req
750. Okay, that was good,
but I want to
thicken up that solo.Copy !req
751. Michigan State is
this Saturday, and I want
that part to smoke.Copy !req
752. Yeah, I know,
my timing's off.Copy !req
753. No, it's not that.
I think it'll work better
as a duet with a tenor part.Copy !req
754. I'll do it.Copy !req
755. Dick.Copy !req
756. I'll do it.
Great. See you tomorrow.Copy !req
757. Why are you doing this?Copy !req
758. 'Cause I want to.Copy !req
759. Yeah?
Well, you can't fake this.
You better practice.Copy !req
760. Come in.Copy !req
761. Jim? There's a,
a young lady here
to see you.Copy !req
762. Hey, Nadia.
Hi, James. Ready to study?Copy !req
763. Oh, he's always ready
to study. He's a real
bookworm, this kid.Copy !req
764. Dad.
I mean,Copy !req
765. he's not, not one of those
nerdy guys but . . .Copy !req
766. Dad!Copy !req
767. Well, I'll, I'll let you two
hit the books.Copy !req
768. You want a beer?Copy !req
769. Oh, there we go.Copy !req
770. Come on, move!Copy !req
771. Steve! It's my computer!
And I wanna use it!Copy !req
772. Shut up!Copy !req
773. Oh, you need to . . .
You need to change, right?Copy !req
774. Do you mind?
No. No, not at all.Copy !req
775. Please, you know.
Just go ahead and get un . . .
Get changed.Copy !req
776. I'll, I'll go downstairs
and start studying up.Copy !req
777. Yeah.
Okay.Copy !req
778. Oh.
All right, there he goes.Copy !req
779. Now we're in business.Copy !req
780. Back in a sec.
Jimmy, honey . . .Copy !req
781. He pauses shaving
and he tells himself
that he is the bombCopy !req
782. She has her curlers set
Her credit cards
are paying the fundsCopy !req
783. He's not that old
I've been toldCopy !req
784. Here she is.Copy !req
785. Did I miss anything?Copy !req
786. No. You are just in time.Copy !req
787. Oh. Oh!
This is incredible.Copy !req
788. Oh, my God!
This is too much.Copy !req
789. Oh, did you see?
Oh, there that goes.
Oh, geez.Copy !req
790. God bless the lnternet.Copy !req
791. Do it. Take it off.
Oh, my God.Copy !req
792. Oh!Copy !req
793. Oh, thank you, God,
for this wonderful,
wonderful day.Copy !req
794. Man, she takes
her vitamins.Copy !req
795. And it is way
too unhealthyCopy !req
796. Often they've typicallyCopy !req
797. Stop hyperventilating.Copy !req
798. This is, like,
the coolest thing
I've ever seen.Copy !req
799. I know.Copy !req
800. Can you believe . . .
This is definitely one
of Stifler's best ideas ever.Copy !req
801. What is she . . .
She's touching my stuff.Copy !req
802. Why is she
touching my stuff?
Man, let her touch.Copy !req
803. She's going through my stuff!
Nadia can touch
anything she wants.Copy !req
804. Oh.
Oh, no. Oh, no.Copy !req
805. No, no.
Oh, nice collection
there, Jim.Copy !req
806. She's gonna leave.
She's definitely gonna . . .Copy !req
807. She's getting comfortable.
She's not gonna leave.Copy !req
808. She reads the articles.Copy !req
809. Is she?Copy !req
810. She's going downstairs.Copy !req
811. Oh, my God!Copy !req
812. Jackpot, baby!Copy !req
813. Can you believe this?Copy !req
814. Nadia,
I would have never known.Copy !req
815. I have an announcement
that I would like to make.Copy !req
816. There is a gorgeous woman
masturbating on my bed!Copy !req
817. Thank you, Nadia!Copy !req
818. if you ever had a chance
with Nadia, this is it.Copy !req
819. What am I supposed
to do, Kev?Copy !req
820. Seduce her.Copy !req
821. What the hell
would I say?Copy !req
822. Go over there
and ask her if she needs
an extra hand.Copy !req
823. That's stupid, Kev.
I can't . . .Copy !req
824. That's not stupid!
You're stupid
if you don't go!Copy !req
825. Come on!
Get over there!Copy !req
826. Get going, man.
She's prime.Copy !req
827. Get out of here!Copy !req
828. She's waiting for you.
Okay, all right. I'm going.Copy !req
829. Go! Go!
I'm going!Copy !req
830. Go! Go! Go! Go!
Oh, shit.Copy !req
831. She's open
waiting for moreCopy !req
832. And I know he's only
Iooking to scoreCopy !req
833. And it's way too unhealthy
Often they've typicallyCopy !req
834. Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad.Copy !req
835. Been starved
for attention beforeCopy !req
836. Oh, boy. Oh, God.
Oh, crap. Oh, no.Copy !req
837. Hello?Copy !req
838. Looks like Jim addressed
the e-mail wrong.Copy !req
839. What?Copy !req
840. It went out to every mailbox
in the East High directory.Copy !req
841. God, how juvenile.Copy !req
842. Hey, hey, hey, guys!Copy !req
843. Baby!Copy !req
844. Check this out!
Oh, my God! Wow!Copy !req
845. Oh.Copy !req
846. Please, God,
let this be it.Copy !req
847. Please?Copy !req
848. Somebody's going in there.Copy !req
849. Here you go.
That's what you need to do.Copy !req
850. That guy's in my trig class.
Oh, no.Copy !req
851. Looks like you could
use an extra hand.Copy !req
852. Jim!Copy !req
853. Well . . . Oh, God.
Shame on you.Copy !req
854. Yeah, shame on me.
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.Copy !req
855. You know, I'm just gonna go.
Well,Copy !req
856. you have seen me.Copy !req
857. Now, it's my turn to see you.Copy !req
858. Strip!Copy !req
859. Strip?
Slowly.Copy !req
860. You mean, like,
strip, strip?Copy !req
861. For me.Copy !req
862. What is he talking
to her about?Copy !req
863. No idea.Copy !req
864. Come on, Jim.
People are viewing.
Get to business.Copy !req
865. Perfect!Copy !req
866. Move, James! Move!
Yeah, yeah. Move.Copy !req
867. Go, trig boy!
It's your birthday!Copy !req
868. No! No. No.
Please, God.Copy !req
869. What's going on?Copy !req
870. Yes!
All right. Get in the mix!Copy !req
871. See there.
Oh, okay.Copy !req
872. This is disgusting.Copy !req
873. What the fuck is this?Copy !req
874. Cut it out, man!Copy !req
875. Yeah.Copy !req
876. Freak.Copy !req
877. He did not just
take out that chair.Copy !req
878. Yup, he took out the chair.Copy !req
879. More, more, you bad boy!Copy !req
880. Oh, yeah, I'm bad.
I'm naughty, baby. Yeah!Copy !req
881. Oh, God!Copy !req
882. Calling your nameCopy !req
883. Now, come to me.Copy !req
884. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
885. Here we go.
He's in, man.Copy !req
886. CallingCopy !req
887. This just got
a hell of a lot better.Copy !req
888. Be gentle.Copy !req
889. Okay.Copy !req
890. Calling your nameCopy !req
891. Jim?
Oh!Copy !req
892. Oh, no.
Oh, no.Copy !req
893. Oh. Oh!
You've done that before, dude.Copy !req
894. Houston,
we have a problem.Copy !req
895. What happened?
What did he do?Copy !req
896. He blew it.Copy !req
897. I guess I'll be going now.Copy !req
898. No, no, no,
I'm not done, Nadia.
I've got reserves.Copy !req
899. Nadia, please, please.
I'm begging you.Copy !req
900. Well, I do like
your dirty magazines.Copy !req
901. You do? Okay. Well.
Did, did you see this one?Copy !req
902. This here is your,
is your more exotic,
risque magazine.Copy !req
903. He's pulling out the porn.
He's desperate.Copy !req
904. Jim, just wait
till she leaves.Copy !req
905. Very arousing women.
They arouse me . . .Copy !req
906. They arouse me
very, very much.Copy !req
907. But . . . But not as
arousing as you.Copy !req
908. Oh, Jim!
Oh, God!Copy !req
909. Yes!
Yes!Copy !req
910. He's ruining daisy!Copy !req
911. So, "shaved"
is the expression?Copy !req
912. Holy shit.Copy !req
913. Holy shit!Copy !req
914. Holy shit!Copy !req
915. Holy shit!Copy !req
916. Touch me, Jim.Copy !req
917. Here.Copy !req
918. Oh. Oh.Copy !req
919. Again?Copy !req
920. Not again.Copy !req
921. Not again, man!Copy !req
922. Is that possible?Copy !req
923. What a loser.Copy !req
924. Hey!Copy !req
925. OZ:
I needed someone to
understand my ups and downsCopy !req
926. There you wereCopy !req
927. With sweet love
and devotionCopy !req
928. Deeply touching my emotionCopy !req
929. I just wanna stop
and thank you, babyCopy !req
930. Hey, minute man!
Shut up.Copy !req
931. You know . . . You know
you're supposed to
be supportive.Copy !req
932. Hey, you think
you still got a chance
with Nadia?Copy !req
933. No. Her sponsors here
saw the thing on the net.Copy !req
934. I really don't think
they liked it.Copy !req
935. How do you know that?Copy !req
936. She's already on
a plane back home.Copy !req
937. Yeah.Copy !req
938. You know, guys?
Maybe I'm just not good
with girls, period.Copy !req
939. No, no, no, really, really.
Like, like I was born without
that part of the brain.Copy !req
940. I mean,
I can't talk to girls.Copy !req
941. And when I do talk to them,
I screw it up.Copy !req
942. Yeah, well, come prom,
those excuses aren't going
to do you any good.Copy !req
943. And one time at
band camp, we weren't supposed
to have pillow fightsCopy !req
944. but we had a pillow fight,
and it was so much fun.Copy !req
945. And this one time, we all
lost our music and we were
supposed to play this song,Copy !req
946. but we didn't know it, so we
just made it up and we kept
playing and playingCopy !req
947. and the conductor didn't know
what we were doing,
and it was so funny.Copy !req
948. So, you're pissed
about something, huh.Copy !req
949. You know what I do
when I'm angry?Copy !req
950. I just play some
Bach on my flute.
It's so relaxing.Copy !req
951. I learned to do that
at band camp.Copy !req
952. Hold on.Copy !req
953. You have no idea
why I'm angry?Copy !req
954. Is it because we have
a test tomorrow?Copy !req
955. Sometimes I get cranky
when I know I have
a big test to study for.Copy !req
956. Yeah.
Yeah, that's pretty much it.Copy !req
957. I thought so
because this one time
at band camp . . .Copy !req
958. What's your name?Copy !req
959. Michelle.
Okay. Michelle.Copy !req
960. Do you want to be
my date for the prom?Copy !req
961. Really? You seriously
want to go with me?Copy !req
962. Yes. Seriously.Copy !req
963. Are we going to
Steve Stifler's
party afterwards?Copy !req
964. Because that
would be so cool.Copy !req
965. Sure, whatever you want.Copy !req
966. Cool! We're gonna have
such a good time.Copy !req
967. It'll be like this one time
at band camp when we all
had a campfire . . .Copy !req
968. Hi.Copy !req
969. How'd you know I was here?Copy !req
970. Stifler told me.Copy !req
971. Talked to Stifler?Copy !req
972. Well, I needed to find you.Copy !req
973. We're gonna have to
work on that song.Copy !req
974. Okay. I'm glad you came by.Copy !req
975. So you work nights?Copy !req
976. My dad's the manager.Copy !req
977. Really?Copy !req
978. Cool. Tell him
the subs are great.Copy !req
979. So you're going
to Michigan next year?Copy !req
980. Yeah.Copy !req
981. My parents want me to go
to Northwestern, but . . .Copy !req
982. I don't wanna write
all those extra essays
they make you do.Copy !req
983. I mean, how am l
supposed to knowCopy !req
984. what my "most emotionally
significant moment" was?Copy !req
985. So when my U of M acceptance
came in December,
I just said the hell with it.Copy !req
986. Onions?
What?Copy !req
987. You want onions?Copy !req
988. Oh, no, thank you.Copy !req
989. So what are you
gonna major in?Copy !req
990. State's got a good
business school,Copy !req
991. and I could probably walk
onto the lacrosse team.Copy !req
992. Well, you've probably got it
pretty figured out, then, huh?Copy !req
993. I mean, business is okay,
and lacrosse is awesome, but,Copy !req
994. what am I gonna be,
a professional
lacrosse player?Copy !req
995. I really have no idea.Copy !req
996. Thank God. I thought
I was the only one.Copy !req
997. Well, you're not.Copy !req
998. So we're gonna be
close next year.Copy !req
999. You mean East Lansing
and Ann Arbor?Copy !req
1000. Yeah.Copy !req
1001. What are you
talking about?Copy !req
1002. I'm sorry, but I can't
go to the prom with you.Copy !req
1003. I'm holding out
for someone else.Copy !req
1004. You gotta be fucking
kidding me.Copy !req
1005. I know it's a long shot,
but I figure Paul Finch
might ask me.Copy !req
1006. Finch. Shit-brick.Copy !req
1007. Oh, gosh. I forgot.Copy !req
1008. You look okay.Copy !req
1009. I mean, the scars
healed really well.Copy !req
1010. Hey, Stifler.
Eat shit.Copy !req
1011. What was that all about?Copy !req
1012. He's still embarrassed
because Finch kicked his ass.Copy !req
1013. Who told you that?Copy !req
1014. What do you mean,
"no comment"?Copy !req
1015. Did you two hook up
or something?Copy !req
1016. What, are you kidding? No.Copy !req
1017. Then how did all this
get started?Copy !req
1018. Well, I guess
it's all right for me
to tell you now.Copy !req
1019. That reputation of his
isn't going anywhere.
Cheese, please.Copy !req
1020. Finch comes up to me
and says, "Jessica,Copy !req
1021. "l need your help with this,
blah, blah, etcetera."Copy !req
1022. So I said, "All right.
Pay me 200 bucks,Copy !req
1023. "and I'll tell a couple
of girls that you're
dynamite in bed."Copy !req
1024. So he did, and I did.Copy !req
1025. That actually works?Copy !req
1026. Well, duh! Of course.Copy !req
1027. Naturally, I embellished
a little bit.Copy !req
1028. Did you hear that
Finch had an affair
with an older woman?Copy !req
1029. No, I didn't hear that one.Copy !req
1030. That one was my favorite.Copy !req
1031. Dude, that cheerleader.Copy !req
1032. Thank you, babyCopy !req
1033. She wants me.
She calls me up . . .Copy !req
1034. How sweet it is
to be Ioved by youCopy !req
1035. Oh, my God, you're gay!Copy !req
1036. Sing it with me.
You know the words.Copy !req
1037. No thanks, man.
You've been singing
that shit all week.Copy !req
1038. if you try that at MSU
this Saturday,
I'll kick your ass.Copy !req
1039. Our last game
is this Saturday.Copy !req
1040. Yeah, well, shit.Copy !req
1041. I've got this lacrosse game.
It's really important.
It's our last game.Copy !req
1042. Central almost beat us
last time, so this time
I really wanna kick their ass.Copy !req
1043. But it's gonna be cool,
because the game's at StateCopy !req
1044. which means afterwards
I'll be able to stop by.Copy !req
1045. So you can't sing
at the competition.Copy !req
1046. Heather, I'm sorry.
I totally blew it.Copy !req
1047. It's okay.Copy !req
1048. You should do
what makes you happy.Copy !req
1049. All right.
Listen, thanks for
understanding.Copy !req
1050. Yeah.Copy !req
1051. So, I guess
I'll see you later?Copy !req
1052. Hey, Kevin.Copy !req
1053. You seen shit-brick lately?Copy !req
1054. Why? What did you do to him?Copy !req
1055. Me? Nothing.Copy !req
1056. See, I'm the one
whose ass he kicked.Copy !req
1057. But, I'll tell you
one thing, though.Copy !req
1058. I don't think he's gonna
have a problem shitting
in school anymore.Copy !req
1059. Slipped a little something
into his mochaccino.Copy !req
1060. Oh, God!Copy !req
1061. Oh! Oh!Copy !req
1062. Jesus.Copy !req
1063. Right this way, sir.Copy !req
1064. Oh, God.Copy !req
1065. Oh, no.Copy !req
1066. It's gonna be fun.Copy !req
1067. You know it's just gonna be
some crappy band
and stupid decorations.Copy !req
1068. GlRL 3: You're just
saying thatCopy !req
1069. because prom's a week away
and you don't have a date.Copy !req
1070. GlRL 2: No, no, no.
I don't want a date.Copy !req
1071. Finch is going stag
and so am l.Copy !req
1072. God, he's like so refined.Copy !req
1073. You think that older woman
thing is true?Copy !req
1074. Yeah, it's true.
It was Stifler's mom.Copy !req
1075. Joanie, was that you?Copy !req
1076. Oh!
Can't hold it.Copy !req
1077. Oh!Copy !req
1078. Ew!Copy !req
1079. Yeah!Copy !req
1080. Kev?
I think we've comeCopy !req
1081. a really long way
since homecoming.Copy !req
1082. Yeah, we have.Copy !req
1083. Maybe it's time
we start to express
ourselves in new ways.Copy !req
1084. Yeah.
You wanna do it?Copy !req
1085. Yeah.
I love you.Copy !req
1086. It's your turn.Copy !req
1087. That's not what
I was thinking.Copy !req
1088. Sex. It's always about sex.Copy !req
1089. It's not always about sex.Copy !req
1090. I just thought it was
about sex this time.Copy !req
1091. Look, Vicky,
love is a term that
gets thrown aroundCopy !req
1092. and, and people
don't mean it.Copy !req
1093. When I say it,
I want it to be
more than words.Copy !req
1094. You know?
I want it to be . . .
Perfect.Copy !req
1095. Exactly.Copy !req
1096. Okay, Albert. You ready?
No problemo.Copy !req
1097. I close my eyes at nightCopy !req
1098. Come on, Heather.
Work with me here.Copy !req
1099. Goal, Ostreicher!Copy !req
1100. All right, Oz!
Atta boy, Ozzie!Copy !req
1101. Yeah, baby!Copy !req
1102. We're crushing you losers!
Let's go, fellas!Copy !req
1103. Come on!Copy !req
1104. Bumblebee,
bumblebee, bumblebee,
bumblebee, bumblebeeCopy !req
1105. Focus on the music.
Think melody.Copy !req
1106. Let the music be my guide.Copy !req
1107. That would be a start.Copy !req
1108. Who's the man? Stifler!Copy !req
1109. Huddle up, guys! Huddle up!Copy !req
1110. Huddle up! Come on! Okay.Copy !req
1111. All right, all right!Copy !req
1112. Good hustle, guys.
Good hustle.Copy !req
1113. But you can still lose.
You all saw what happened
to Oz out there.Copy !req
1114. I don't want to ever see
any of you thinking
you're gonna score.Copy !req
1115. You don't score
until you score.Copy !req
1116. Until you score.
That's right, baby!Copy !req
1117. It all boils down to today.Copy !req
1118. For you seniors,
this marks the culminationCopy !req
1119. of the past four years.
Culmination.Copy !req
1120. I want you to think
about what this means to you.Copy !req
1121. Do you guys wanna look back
on your days at EastCopy !req
1122. and know that you used
the time you had?Copy !req
1123. Hell, yeah!
You do!Copy !req
1124. Good attitude, Ostreicher.Copy !req
1125. Good luck, fellas.Copy !req
1126. Christ, I didn't tell you
to leave the game.Copy !req
1127. I'm sorry, Coach.Copy !req
1128. You got someplace more
important to be, Ostreicher?Copy !req
1129. Yeah.Copy !req
1130. Ostreicher!Copy !req
1131. Oz? Fuckface?Copy !req
1132. Ostreicher!Copy !req
1133. Hey, Oz!
Ozmeister!Copy !req
1134. Oh, great.
What about the game?Copy !req
1135. I'm not playing.Copy !req
1136. You're missing
the game for us?Copy !req
1137. No, I'm missing
the game for you.Copy !req
1138. Does this mean
I'm not gonna
get to do the duet?Copy !req
1139. Albert, you suck.Copy !req
1140. I don't think
he's coming back.Copy !req
1141. Close my eyes at nightCopy !req
1142. Close my eyesCopy !req
1143. Wondering where would I be
without you in my lifeCopy !req
1144. OhCopy !req
1145. Everything I did
was just a boreCopy !req
1146. Just a boreCopy !req
1147. Everywhere I went
seems I been there beforeCopy !req
1148. But you brighten up for me
But you brighten up for meCopy !req
1149. All of my days
All of my daysCopy !req
1150. With a love so sweetCopy !req
1151. In so many waysCopy !req
1152. I just wanna stopCopy !req
1153. And thank you, baby
And thank you, babyCopy !req
1154. I just wanna stopCopy !req
1155. And thank you, baby
And thank you, babyCopy !req
1156. Thank you, babyCopy !req
1157. How sweet it is
How sweet it isCopy !req
1158. To be Ioved by you
To be Ioved by youCopy !req
1159. Yeah, Oz!
You fucking rule!Copy !req
1160. Fucking rule!
Yeah!Copy !req
1161. Maybe the words
aren't that important.Copy !req
1162. It's like, I know he really
cares about me, you know?Copy !req
1163. Even if he can't say it,
he does.Copy !req
1164. And yeah, he always talks
about sex, but that's okay,
'cause he's a guy, right?Copy !req
1165. He's got a dick.
He's a guy.Copy !req
1166. Right.Copy !req
1167. Wait. Is this
translation right?Copy !req
1168. "Go home, bird teacher.
I've had enough."Copy !req
1169. I don't know.
I got it from Kevin.Copy !req
1170. So, does it hurt?
What?Copy !req
1171. You know, sex.
Does it hurt?Copy !req
1172. Yeah. I mean,
the first time you do it,
you know, it hurts.Copy !req
1173. But then you,
you do it again
and again and again . . .Copy !req
1174. It just starts to feel good.
Really good.Copy !req
1175. Okay, so say
I don't do it.Copy !req
1176. And then
I go off to college.Copy !req
1177. I might end up doing it
with some random guyCopy !req
1178. who totally turns out
to be a jerk.Copy !req
1179. This is true.Copy !req
1180. And I'll wish I would've
done it with Kevin.Copy !req
1181. So go do it with Kevin.Copy !req
1182. You think?
Yeah. You're . . .
You're ready.Copy !req
1183. You're woman. Look at you.
You're ready for sex.Copy !req
1184. You're right.
I know.Copy !req
1185. I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna have sex.
Now.Copy !req
1186. And it's gonna be right,
and it's gonna be
just perfect.Copy !req
1187. Perfect sex.
Thanks, Jessica.Copy !req
1188. Please.Copy !req
1189. Kevin.Copy !req
1190. I wanna have sex.
Now?Copy !req
1191. Prom.Copy !req
1192. As you walk up those steps
and garner your awardCopy !req
1193. Try not to forget about meCopy !req
1194. 'Cause I was there
when you had no one else
to holdCopy !req
1195. You used to look
just like a saintCopy !req
1196. Stumbling towardsCopy !req
1197. Yours and God's
very own quarantineCopy !req
1198. You used to never think
you'd ever grow oldCopy !req
1199. You must be
excited about the
big night tonight.Copy !req
1200. Thrilled.Copy !req
1201. Who's the lucky girl?Copy !req
1202. Michelle.Copy !req
1203. Michelle.
Yeah.Copy !req
1204. She must be very special.Copy !req
1205. Oh, she's special,
all right.Copy !req
1206. I'm sure she is special
if you picked her
out of the whole bunch.Copy !req
1207. Jim, I'm just gonna
say one thing
before you leave tonight.Copy !req
1208. I want you to be
very, very carefulCopy !req
1209. when you're putting onCopy !req
1210. the corsage.Copy !req
1211. Okay, Dad.Copy !req
1212. Promise me.
I promise.Copy !req
1213. Midnight at the oasisCopy !req
1214. Send your camel to bedCopy !req
1215. Shadows painting our facesCopy !req
1216. Traces of romance
in our headsCopy !req
1217. Heaven's holding
a half-moonCopy !req
1218. Shining just for usCopy !req
1219. Let's slip off
to a sand duneCopy !req
1220. Real soonCopy !req
1221. And kick up a Iittle dustCopy !req
1222. Come on
Cactus is our friendCopy !req
1223. He'll point out the wayCopy !req
1224. You know, at band camp,
we have dances like this,Copy !req
1225. only they're way funner.Copy !req
1226. Till the evening endsCopy !req
1227. Hey, hey, heyCopy !req
1228. All right, status check.
Where do you guys stand?Copy !req
1229. Finch, we know where you are,
but can't really use that
as an excuse.Copy !req
1230. Jim?Copy !req
1231. My date's a flute-toting
band dork. Does that
answer your question?Copy !req
1232. Oz, is this vocal-jazz shit
gonna pay off or what?Copy !req
1233. Kevin, what's with
the attitude?Copy !req
1234. Attitude? Me?Copy !req
1235. I think you guys should be
a little more enthusiastic.Copy !req
1236. This is the night
we've been waiting for.Copy !req
1237. We're in this together.
You guys can't back out.Copy !req
1238. Kev, you don't need us
to get laid. Are you
afraid or something?Copy !req
1239. No. Come on.
We made a pact.Copy !req
1240. You can't break that.
You guys are gonna have to . . .Copy !req
1241. Have to what, Kev, huh?
I don't have to do shit.Copy !req
1242. Forget it already.
I am so sick and tired of
all this bullshit pressure.Copy !req
1243. I've never even had sex,
and already, I can't
stand it. I hate sex!Copy !req
1244. And I'm not gonna stand
around here busting my balls
over something that,Copy !req
1245. quite frankly,
isn't that damn important.Copy !req
1246. I'm gonna go hang out
with that geek over thereCopy !req
1247. 'cause at least
she has something else
to talk about besides sex.Copy !req
1248. Goddamn.Copy !req
1249. Yeah.Copy !req
1250. You know, at least I learned
how to shit in school, buddy.Copy !req
1251. Hey, Finch.Copy !req
1252. Wanna dance?
Yeah.Copy !req
1253. OoohCopy !req
1254. How come you have no date?Copy !req
1255. I like to keep
my options open.Copy !req
1256. I got something for you.Copy !req
1257. Consider it
a consolation prize.Copy !req
1258. Jessica, this is great! Wow!Copy !req
1259. Felt sort of guilty
about taking your money.Copy !req
1260. You spent $200 on this?Copy !req
1261. No, I spent 50 on the flask,
150 on the earrings.Copy !req
1262. These are . . .
Let me just clarifyCopy !req
1263. that you have no chance
of scoring with me, Finch.Copy !req
1264. Of course not!Copy !req
1265. So I take it
you and Sherman
are pretty close, huh?Copy !req
1266. You met at that party
a while back, right?Copy !req
1267. Yeah, we were up
all night together.Copy !req
1268. We had one of those
amazingly deep conversationsCopy !req
1269. where you feel like
you really get to know
someone.Copy !req
1270. Deep conversation, huh?Copy !req
1271. Is that what you call it?Copy !req
1272. What else would I call it?Copy !req
1273. Thank you, Great Falls.Copy !req
1274. We're gonna take
a little break.
You are beautiful.Copy !req
1275. You suck!Copy !req
1276. Excuse me, everyone.Copy !req
1277. Sorry to interrupt.Copy !req
1278. I just thought
you all should know this.Copy !req
1279. Chuck Sherman is a liar.Copy !req
1280. I never had sex with him.Copy !req
1281. He's never had sex
with anyone.Copy !req
1282. I know this because
he told me.Copy !req
1283. Once he tried to screw
a grapefruit, but that's all.Copy !req
1284. Oh. He also told me
that when he gets nervous,Copy !req
1285. he sometimes
wets his pants.Copy !req
1286. Thank you for your time.Copy !req
1287. Guess what?
Not interested.Copy !req
1288. Kevin. Come on, man.
The bus to Stifler's
is gonna be here soon.Copy !req
1289. I'm not going.
What?Copy !req
1290. Why not?Copy !req
1291. Look, things didn't
really turn out
how I wanted them to.Copy !req
1292. I mean, I don't even know
what I'm doing.Copy !req
1293. I'm acting like
I've got everything
together tonight.Copy !req
1294. I know that Vicky's
gonna ask me
if I love her, andCopy !req
1295. I don't know
what I'm gonna say.Copy !req
1296. I mean,
I'm on the brink.Copy !req
1297. I'm just about to do it.
I should be psyched.Copy !req
1298. I don't know.
Maybe you're right.
Maybe I am just scared.Copy !req
1299. Come on, Kev.
Tonight is the night.Copy !req
1300. We, we are finally going
to a post-prom party
on the lake.Copy !req
1301. We have been waiting
for this for four years.Copy !req
1302. Why else have we been
friends with Stifler
all this time, right?Copy !req
1303. We were friends
with Stifler?Copy !req
1304. Hey, look.Copy !req
1305. Sherman didn't
even get laid.Copy !req
1306. He didn't?
No, he pissed himself.Copy !req
1307. What?Copy !req
1308. We'll tell you on the bus.Copy !req
1309. I'm gonna go inside
and grab my bag.Copy !req
1310. My date, too, perhaps?Copy !req
1311. Stifler's mom got it
in the divorce.Copy !req
1312. That reminds me
of this one time . . .Copy !req
1313. Hey, can I ask you
a question?Copy !req
1314. How come you don't have
any stories?
I've got lots of themCopy !req
1315. and you don't have any.Copy !req
1316. Oh, I've got stories.
Believe me. They're just . . .Copy !req
1317. They're just a little more
risque than tales of
band camp.Copy !req
1318. Are they gross or something?
Like guy stuff? Tell me!Copy !req
1319. Okay. You want a story?Copy !req
1320. Here's a story.
Stifler finds this beer . . .Copy !req
1321. This is the nicest room
in the house.Copy !req
1322. Kev, it's perfect.Copy !req
1323. You guys are gonna
fuck, aren't you?Copy !req
1324. Fuckers!
Fuckers, fuckers!Copy !req
1325. Fuckers, fuckers, fuckers!Copy !req
1326. Out.
Come on!Copy !req
1327. Get out.
Man!Copy !req
1328. There's something
I've been meaning
to tell you, Heather.Copy !req
1329. What's that?Copy !req
1330. It's gonna sound
really bad, but,
I want you to know . . .Copy !req
1331. You see . . .Copy !req
1332. I'm a virgin, and . . .Copy !req
1333. Well, me, Kevin,
Jim and Finch were . . .Copy !req
1334. We all made this pactCopy !req
1335. that we would
lose our virginityCopy !req
1336. before high school
was over,Copy !req
1337. and tonight is supposed
to be the night
that we all do it.Copy !req
1338. This isn't the best way
to proposition me.Copy !req
1339. No, that's . . .
That's not what I mean.Copy !req
1340. What I mean is . . .Copy !req
1341. Look, do you know
what made me
leave that game?Copy !req
1342. See, Coach,
he was giving us
this speech aboutCopy !req
1343. not slacking off when you see
the opportunity to score . . .Copy !req
1344. This isn't
any better, Chris.Copy !req
1345. No, see . . .
You see, Heather,Copy !req
1346. what I realized
is that with you,Copy !req
1347. it's not like
I'm running towards a goalCopy !req
1348. looking for the best way
to score.Copy !req
1349. This may sound
a little corny, but,Copy !req
1350. I feel like
I've already won.Copy !req
1351. And I care about you a lot.Copy !req
1352. Oz, I know.Copy !req
1353. You called me Oz.Copy !req
1354. Well, yeah.Copy !req
1355. It's what your friends
call you.Copy !req
1356. I mean, I feel like
I'm one of your friends now.Copy !req
1357. And your girlfriend?Copy !req
1358. I never thought
that I could love like thisCopy !req
1359. This feeling inside me
is growingCopy !req
1360. I never thought
that you would comeCopy !req
1361. Are you lost?Copy !req
1362. You're Stifler's mom.Copy !req
1363. No, no, not lost. Just . . .Copy !req
1364. You know, taking the tour.Copy !req
1365. Hey, thank you for letting us
have this wonderful party.Copy !req
1366. As if there was
an alternative
in the matter.Copy !req
1367. So, you enjoying yourself?Copy !req
1368. I'm three sheets
to the wind, ma'am.Copy !req
1369. I'm so happy for you.Copy !req
1370. But it takes the edge off,
doesn't it?Copy !req
1371. Where's your
little date tonight?Copy !req
1372. No date. It was . . .Copy !req
1373. It was a bathroom incident.Copy !req
1374. Pardon me?Copy !req
1375. Never mind.Copy !req
1376. You have anything to drink?Copy !req
1377. I believe the kegs
are upstairs.Copy !req
1378. That is what
the cretins drink.Copy !req
1379. I'm talking about alcohol,
liquor.Copy !req
1380. The good stuff.
All right.Copy !req
1381. I got some scotch.Copy !req
1382. Single malt?Copy !req
1383. Aged 18 years.Copy !req
1384. The way I like it.Copy !req
1385. Why don't you go grab
a glass from the bar?Copy !req
1386. I think I should.Copy !req
1387. Allow me.Copy !req
1388. You know it's
a bitching party.Copy !req
1389. The Stif-man always
comes through in the clutch.Copy !req
1390. And then he just
puked his brains out.Copy !req
1391. That is a nasty story.
Yep, I told you.Copy !req
1392. Do you want to hear
a nasty story of mine?
It's sort of sexual.Copy !req
1393. Yeah! Yeah, let's hear it.Copy !req
1394. Okay, well, this one time
at band camp,
we were playing this game.Copy !req
1395. I don't know if you know it,
but it's called
"Spin the Bottle."Copy !req
1396. And I had to kiss this guy
named Mark Wander
on the lips.Copy !req
1397. And . . .
And he plays trombone . . .Copy !req
1398. So how do you want to be?Copy !req
1399. Like, how do you
want to do it?Copy !req
1400. I don't know.
How do you?Copy !req
1401. Like normal style.
The missionary position.Copy !req
1402. Okay.Copy !req
1403. Kev?Copy !req
1404. Yeah?
I wanna hear you say it.Copy !req
1405. Okay.Copy !req
1406. Victoria . . .Copy !req
1407. I love you.Copy !req
1408. Don't strayCopy !req
1409. Don't ever go awayCopy !req
1410. I should be much
too smart for thisCopy !req
1411. You know it gets
the better of meCopy !req
1412. Sometimes,
when you and I collideCopy !req
1413. Oh. My hair.Copy !req
1414. I fall into
an ocean of youCopy !req
1415. Pull me out in timeCopy !req
1416. Don't let me drownCopy !req
1417. Let me downCopy !req
1418. You okay?Copy !req
1419. Yeah. Go slow.Copy !req
1420. Say you'll stayCopy !req
1421. Don't come and goCopy !req
1422. Like you doCopy !req
1423. Sway my wayCopy !req
1424. Yeah, I need to knowCopy !req
1425. All about youCopy !req
1426. Say you'll stayCopy !req
1427. So the end of
the story is youCopy !req
1428. had to kiss the guy
for 20 seconds.Copy !req
1429. Yes! And he was such a dork.
Everyone laughed at meCopy !req
1430. but I didn't care
because it was so funny.Copy !req
1431. I get it.Copy !req
1432. And this one time
at band camp,
I stuck a flute in my pussy.Copy !req
1433. Excuse me?Copy !req
1434. What? You don't think
I know how to get myself off?Copy !req
1435. Hell, that's what
half of band camp is.
Sex Ed.Copy !req
1436. So are we gonna screw soon?
'Cause I'm getting
kinda antsy.Copy !req
1437. This'll do.Copy !req
1438. Ow!Copy !req
1439. Now, I have two rubbers.
Wear them both.
It'll desensitize you.Copy !req
1440. I don't want you coming
so damn early this time.Copy !req
1441. What makes you think
that I would come early?Copy !req
1442. Come on.
I saw you on the net.Copy !req
1443. Why do you think
I accepted this date?Copy !req
1444. You're a sure thing.Copy !req
1445. Yes, I am.Copy !req
1446. So I said,
"This is very obviously
a Piero della Francesca."Copy !req
1447. So, would you object
if I said that you
were quite striking?Copy !req
1448. Mr. Finch, are you
trying to seduce me?Copy !req
1449. Yes, ma'am, I am.Copy !req
1450. And here's to you,
Mrs. RobinsonCopy !req
1451. Jesus loves you
more than you will knowCopy !req
1452. Whoa, whoa, whoaCopy !req
1453. Stand up tall,
Mrs. RobinsonCopy !req
1454. God in heaven smiles
on those who prayCopy !req
1455. You're dead.Copy !req
1456. Hey, hey, heyCopy !req
1457. Sway my wayCopy !req
1458. Yeah, I need to knowCopy !req
1459. All about youCopy !req
1460. And there's no cureCopy !req
1461. And no way to be sureCopy !req
1462. Why everything's
turned inside outCopy !req
1463. Instilling so much doubtCopy !req
1464. It makes me so tiredCopy !req
1465. I feel so uninspiredCopy !req
1466. My head is battling
with my heartCopy !req
1467. My Iogic has been torn apart
And nowCopy !req
1468. STlFLER'S MOM: I had no idea
you'd be this good.
Neither did l.Copy !req
1469. Oh, Finchy. Finch.Copy !req
1470. Oh, Stifler's mom, whoa!
Finchy!Copy !req
1471. Okay, let's go.Copy !req
1472. What's my name?
Say my name, bitch!Copy !req
1473. Michelle, Michelle.Copy !req
1474. Oh, God.Copy !req
1475. That was a great night, huh?Copy !req
1476. Yeah.Copy !req
1477. I mean, I just can't believe
we had our senior prom.Copy !req
1478. I know.Copy !req
1479. It went by so fast.Copy !req
1480. Yeah, it did.Copy !req
1481. Kevin?Copy !req
1482. Next year with you going
to Ann Arbor
and me going to lthaca,Copy !req
1483. it's not gonna work, is it?Copy !req
1484. No. Don't say that.Copy !req
1485. I mean,
we could make it work.Copy !req
1486. It'll be perfect.
No, Kevin.Copy !req
1487. But . . .
See, that's what
I've been realizingCopy !req
1488. is that nothing's perfect.Copy !req
1489. And you can't
plan everything.Copy !req
1490. Well, I guess
you will be pretty far away.Copy !req
1491. And we'll be on our own,
meeting new people.Copy !req
1492. Last night, though.Copy !req
1493. I wasn't lying.Copy !req
1494. I know.Copy !req
1495. She's gone.Copy !req
1496. Oh, my God.
She used me.Copy !req
1497. I was used.Copy !req
1498. Cool!Copy !req
1499. What's this door locked . . .Copy !req
1500. Mom, where's . . .Copy !req
1501. Mom? Shit-brick?Copy !req
1502. Hey, Stifler.Copy !req
1503. Do do do
Do do do doCopy !req
1504. I just gotta say
that women,Copy !req
1505. like a fine wine,
only get better with age.Copy !req
1506. Of course, I have no basis
for comparison, butCopy !req
1507. it was good.Copy !req
1508. So you almost made it,
huh, Oz?Copy !req
1509. I'll just say that we had
a great night together.Copy !req
1510. Hang in there, buddy.Copy !req
1511. You'll get there.Copy !req
1512. You know, guys,
I think we're
falling in love.Copy !req
1513. Wow.Copy !req
1514. That's great, man.
That's awesome.Copy !req
1515. You know what
the coolest thing is, guys?Copy !req
1516. It's this.
You know, right now.Copy !req
1517. It's true. I mean,
after this, everything's
gonna be different.Copy !req
1518. After getting laid?Copy !req
1519. After high school.Copy !req
1520. Here's to the next step.Copy !req
1521. To the next step.Copy !req
1522. Do do do
Do do do doCopy !req
1523. Chickety China
the Chinese chickenCopy !req
1524. You have a drumstick
and your brain stops tickingCopy !req
1525. Watching X Files
with no Iights onCopy !req
1526. We're dans la maison
I hope the Smoking Man's
in this oneCopy !req
1527. Like Harrison Ford
I'm getting franticCopy !req
1528. Like Sting I'm tantric
Like Snickers
guaranteed to satisfyCopy !req
1529. Like Kurosawa
I make mad filmsCopy !req
1530. Okay, I don't make films
but if I did they'd
have a samuraiCopy !req
1531. Gonna get a set of
better clubs gonna find
the kind with tiny nubsCopy !req
1532. So my irons aren't always
flying off the backswingCopy !req
1533. Gonna get in tune
with Sailor Moon
'cause that cartoonCopy !req
1534. Has got the boom anime babes
that make me think
the wrong thingCopy !req
1535. How can I help it if I think
you're funny when you're madCopy !req
1536. Trying hard not to smile
though I feel badCopy !req
1537. I'm the kind of guy
who Iaughs at a funeralCopy !req
1538. Sweetheart?Copy !req
1539. Can't understand what I mean
You soon willCopy !req
1540. It's been one week
since you Iooked at meCopy !req
1541. Dropped your arms
to the side and said,
I'm sorryCopy !req
1542. Hello to your mother
your brother
significant otherCopy !req
1543. I am the summertimeCopy !req
1544. And I'm here
to free your mindCopy !req
1545. Kick off your shoes
the blues and use
anything but your mindCopy !req
1546. 'Cause this is
the summertimeCopy !req
1547. And it's here
to free your mindCopy !req
1548. How many other people
can you save today?Copy !req
1549. Don't you think
it's high time
that you sail away?Copy !req
1550. Leave today
Don't fall behindCopy !req
1551. Try something new
Turn into you if only
for a short timeCopy !req
1552. I am the summertimeCopy !req
1553. And I'm here
to free your mindCopy !req
1554. Love is tragic
Love is boldCopy !req
1555. You will always do
what you are toldCopy !req
1556. Love is hard
Love is strongCopy !req
1557. You will never say
that you were wrongCopy !req
1558. I don't know
when I got bitterCopy !req
1559. Love is surely better
when it's goneCopy !req
1560. 'Cause you wanted moreCopy !req
1561. More than I could giveCopy !req
1562. More than I could handleCopy !req
1563. And a life
that I can't liveCopy !req
1564. You wanted moreCopy !req
1565. More than I could bearCopy !req
1566. More than I could offerCopy !req
1567. And a love
that isn't thereCopy !req
1568. Love is color
Love is loveCopy !req
1569. Love is never saying
you're too proudCopy !req
1570. Love is trusting
Love is honestCopy !req
1571. Love is not a hand
that holds you downCopy !req
1572. I don't know
when I got bitterCopy !req
1573. Love is surely
better when it's goneCopy !req
1574. 'Cause you wanted moreCopy !req
1575. More than I could giveCopy !req
1576. More than I could handleCopy !req
1577. And a life
that I can't liveCopy !req
1578. You wanted moreCopy !req
1579. More than I could bearCopy !req
1580. More than I could offerCopy !req
1581. And a love
that isn't thereCopy !req
1582. I gotta pick me up
when I am downCopy !req
1583. I gotta get my feet back
on the groundCopy !req
1584. I gotta pick me up
when I am downCopy !req
1585. I don't know
when I got bitterCopy !req
1586. But love is surely better
when it's goneCopy !req
1587. 'Cause you wanted moreCopy !req
1588. More than I could giveCopy !req
1589. More than I could handleCopy !req
1590. And a life
that I can't liveCopy !req
1591. You wanted moreCopy !req