1. Wait. No, wait. I can do that better.
Copy !req
2. I can sing better than Alice Faye.
Copy !req
3. I swear to Christ I can.
Allie!
Copy !req
4. Allie!
Copy !req
5. Alice Graham, you get in this house...
Copy !req
6. before I beat the living daylights
out of you. Do you hear me?
Copy !req
7. You wait and see.
Copy !req
8. And if anybody doesn't like it,
they can blow it out their ass.
Copy !req
9. Alice!
Copy !req
10. For God's sake,
do something about that kid!
Copy !req
11. Turn that damn thing down!
Copy !req
12. I'm sorry, Don.
Copy !req
13. Now keep it off.
You're going to drive us deaf.
Copy !req
14. Do you want me to have a fight with him?
Copy !req
15. How are we to have
a meaningful family relationship...
Copy !req
16. when he's on the verge of killing you
half the time?
Copy !req
17. And why do we have to have
Mott the Hoople 24 hours a day?
Copy !req
18. Maybe if I had a Kitty Kallen record.
Copy !req
19. Kitty...
Copy !req
20. Am I lucky?
Copy !req
21. I don't know. I'm an okay sort of person.
Copy !req
22. How did I get such a smart-ass kid?
Copy !req
23. You got pregnant.
Copy !req
24. The mouth. The mouth on him.
Copy !req
25. Honey, dinner will be ready
in about 30 minutes.
Copy !req
26. Whatever you say.
You're the cook.
Copy !req
27. Come on and help me clear up the table.
Copy !req
28. What are you doing on the floor, kid?
Act like you got good sense.
Copy !req
29. Thanks a lot.
Copy !req
30. Harold wasn't home.
Copy !req
31. Good. You're just in time
for some peach shortcake.
Copy !req
32. Let him finish dinner first.
He doesn't want any more.
Copy !req
33. But he wants that old sugar crap,
don't he?
Copy !req
34. I hope this is good, now.
Copy !req
35. Alice, what the hell have you done
to the coffee?
Copy !req
36. I didn't do anything to the coffee.
Doesn't it taste good?
Copy !req
37. It tastes like hell.
Copy !req
38. Mine tastes all right.
Copy !req
39. Oh, God, it's salty.
Copy !req
40. - You think that's supposed to be funny?
- What do you mean?
Copy !req
41. You know what I mean.
What the hell did you do to the sugar?
Copy !req
42. What?
Copy !req
43. Don't lie to me, boy.
Copy !req
44. It's not sugar. It's salt!
Copy !req
45. Donald!
That's okay, boy.
Copy !req
46. That's okay. You run.
Copy !req
47. I'll save it for you. When you get back,
you're going to drink it!
Copy !req
48. See how you like it.
Copy !req
49. Alice, if you'd show a little respect
around here, it just may rub off on him.
Copy !req
50. Socorro sucks!
Copy !req
51. Watch your head.
Copy !req
52. You're sure laying the money out
for meat. Company coming?
Copy !req
53. No, my husband hates me.
Copy !req
54. I'm trying to get him
to chase me around the bedroom.
Copy !req
55. Tommy, do you want to give the thanks
this evening?
Copy !req
56. No, thank you.
Copy !req
57. Father, make us truly humble
and thankful...
Copy !req
58. for these and all the other blessings.
Copy !req
59. We realize that all good things
come from you.
Copy !req
60. In the name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.
Copy !req
61. Amen.
Copy !req
62. I made the lamb the way you like it.
Copy !req
63. - Is it good?
- It's okay.
Copy !req
64. Irene Payson got back from Denver today.
Copy !req
65. Said she had a real good time.
Copy !req
66. She did? Well, what all did she do?
Copy !req
67. Let's see. She went to visit her family.
Copy !req
68. Then she went to this mountain resort,
and she did a whole lot of shopping.
Copy !req
69. Do you like it?
Copy !req
70. I hate lamb.
Copy !req
71. Right.
Copy !req
72. What are you watching?
Copy !req
73. I don't know.
Copy !req
74. Is it a movie?
Copy !req
75. Looks like one to me.
Copy !req
76. Is it any good?
Copy !req
77. I don't know. I just turned it on.
Copy !req
78. Don't move.
You make me laugh.
Copy !req
79. Sorry.
Copy !req
80. Don't make it too tight.
I got to be able to sit.
Copy !req
81. Don't I know? I know.
All right.
Copy !req
82. I thought he was going to kill Tommy
this morning. I really did.
Copy !req
83. Yeah, I heard him yelling.
He sure sounded mean.
Copy !req
84. He's not mean. He's just...
You know, he gets so...
Copy !req
85. I don't know.
He just gets so loud sometimes.
Copy !req
86. I sure couldn't live without
some kind of man around the house.
Copy !req
87. I could.
And neither could you.
Copy !req
88. Yes, I could. Easy.
Copy !req
89. - No, you couldn't.
- Easy.
Copy !req
90. Could be just as happy
if I never saw one again, ever.
Copy !req
91. Of course, it might be different if I ever,
you know...
Copy !req
92. If I met a man like Robert Redford,
that could be different.
Copy !req
93. I'll bet it's different.
Copy !req
94. He wouldn't be the kind of man
that would roll over and go to sleep...
Copy !req
95. as soon as he's finished.
Copy !req
96. I think he'd be very gentle.
Copy !req
97. Listen, I wonder what kind of build
he's got on him.
Copy !req
98. Did you ever see his feet?
Copy !req
99. Feet?
Copy !req
100. I heard one time
that's supposed to be an indication.
Copy !req
101. Excuse me.
Copy !req
102. I saw a picture. They're huge!
Copy !req
103. Bea, wait a minute.
They're like this!
Copy !req
104. Shut up, you nut.
Copy !req
105. Hello?
Copy !req
106. Yes.
Copy !req
107. This is his wife.
Copy !req
108. What?
Copy !req
109. No!
Copy !req
110. My Donald is dead.
Copy !req
111. God, forgive me.
Copy !req
112. You know, I still expect him
to come home for dinner.
Copy !req
113. I know.
Copy !req
114. Wait here, Harold.
Copy !req
115. Bye, Harold.
Bye, Allie.
Copy !req
116. I'm sorry.
Thank you.
Copy !req
117. See you later.
Copy !req
118. You want me to come in with you
for a while?
Copy !req
119. No, I have to get used to it sometime.
I might as well start now.
Copy !req
120. Thank you.
Copy !req
121. I'll be over in a while with dinner.
Thanks, Bea.
Copy !req
122. - How much money is there left?
- Don't ask.
Copy !req
123. I'm asking.
Copy !req
124. Before the funeral,
there was a little over $2,000, but...
Copy !req
125. What's left?
About $1.59.
Copy !req
126. What are you going to do, Mom?
I don't know, pal.
Copy !req
127. What are you going to do?
We're in this together, you know.
Copy !req
128. You've got to be able
to do something.
Copy !req
129. The only job I ever had was singing.
Copy !req
130. It ain't Peggy Lee.
Copy !req
131. - I had a little trouble-
- Seven more dollars.
Copy !req
132. Thank you very much. Terrific.
Copy !req
133. I'm going to turn 12 in Monterey.
That's right.
Copy !req
134. You'll love it there.
I can't wait till you see it.
Copy !req
135. It's got to have Socorro beat.
That it does, by a lot.
Copy !req
136. Thank you. Wear it in good health.
Copy !req
137. Are you asking $12.50
for this shawl?
Copy !req
138. Yeah, but you see,
it was originally $50.
Copy !req
139. This is the original price tag.
Copy !req
140. I don't know.
It is beautiful, but that's too much for me.
Copy !req
141. It's not too much for a $50 shawl.
Copy !req
142. I don't know.
Neither do I.
Copy !req
143. I may kill myself before this day is over.
Copy !req
144. I can't believe I didn't sell this:
a homemade apron with a daisy on it.
Copy !req
145. Ma'am, I'd like to give this to you
as a present.
Copy !req
146. No, I couldn't.
Copy !req
147. Please, as a favor to me.
It would make me happy if you'd take it.
Copy !req
148. I certainly do appreciate it, and thank you.
Copy !req
149. You're welcome.
I'm sorry if I was rude before.
Copy !req
150. I've been kind of nervous lately.
Copy !req
151. Enjoy it.
Copy !req
152. I certainly will. You can just bank on that.
Copy !req
153. Bye.
Copy !req
154. Lock your door.
Copy !req
155. Hope it doesn't rain too hard.
Copy !req
156. I wish you weren't going.
Copy !req
157. There's room in the car.
Want to come with us?
Copy !req
158. Maybe I will.
Copy !req
159. Just leave Ken and the kids flat.
Copy !req
160. Wouldn't that be hysterical
if you got in the car and drove off with us?
Copy !req
161. And they never saw you again.
I can see their faces.
Copy !req
162. I wish I could.
Copy !req
163. Bye, Harold.
Copy !req
164. - Be a good boy, now.
- Okay.
Copy !req
165. I'll miss you, Allie.
Copy !req
166. I'll write to you.
Copy !req
167. No, you won't.
People say they will, but they don't.
Copy !req
168. Don't cry. That'll make me cry.
Copy !req
169. - Who's going to make me laugh?
- No. Don't, Bea.
Copy !req
170. Bye.
Copy !req
171. Here, take this with you for luck.
Thank you.
Copy !req
172. Take care of yourself.
I will.
Copy !req
173. - Goodbye.
- God bless you.
Copy !req
174. Thank you for everything.
Copy !req
175. Oh, God.
Copy !req
176. Are we there yet?
Copy !req
177. Don't look back.
You'll turn into a pillar of shit.
Copy !req
178. The whole state is shit.
Copy !req
179. Don't talk dirty, Tommy.
How may times do I have to tell you?
Copy !req
180. Give me a potato chip.
Copy !req
181. Take this off my hand.
Copy !req
182. Mom, I feel sick.
Copy !req
183. - What do you mean?
- Like I might throw up.
Copy !req
184. You want me to pull over?
Copy !req
185. No, I'll tell you when I feel it coming.
Copy !req
186. Mom, I feel it coming.
Okay.
Copy !req
187. All right. Get the door open.
Copy !req
188. Stick your head out the window.
It's all right.
Copy !req
189. You don't want me to stop?
No.
Copy !req
190. I feel it again.
Copy !req
191. Okay. All right, honey.
Just hold on. Aim it out the door.
Copy !req
192. All right. No, I'm all right.
Copy !req
193. You don't want me to stop?
No. We'll get to Monterey sooner.
Copy !req
194. Mom, are we in Arizona yet?
Copy !req
195. If you ask me that one more time,
I'll beat you to death.
Copy !req
196. Just sit back there, relax, and enjoy life.
Copy !req
197. - Life is short.
- So are you.
Copy !req
198. - Mom, I'm bored.
- So am I!
Copy !req
199. What do you want from me, card tricks?
Copy !req
200. We should be in Phoenix
in about half an hour.
Copy !req
201. And then we'll,
as my Aunt June used to say...
Copy !req
202. "get gussied up and
go to a swanky place to eat." How's that?
Copy !req
203. What?
Copy !req
204. I said we's gonna go out
amongst them tonight.
Copy !req
205. What?
Copy !req
206. What do you mean, what?
What are you, Helen Keller?
Copy !req
207. I said, try and look decent.
We'll go out and have a good dinner.
Copy !req
208. - I don't care.
- You're annoying me.
Copy !req
209. Is this where you're gonna look for a job?
Copy !req
210. I got to get a new hairdo tomorrow
and buy myself something sexy.
Copy !req
211. What if you can't?
What, buy myself something sexy?
Copy !req
212. Get a job, dummy.
Copy !req
213. Don't be rude to your mother.
She just bought you a cheeseburger.
Copy !req
214. Don't look at me like that. I'll get a job.
Copy !req
215. Did you love Dad?
Copy !req
216. Of course I did. What a question.
Copy !req
217. You don't seem unhappy.
Copy !req
218. I'm unhappy. What are you talking about?
I'm very unhappy.
Copy !req
219. I don't have to show all my emotions.
Copy !req
220. Because
you used to fight with him so much...
Copy !req
221. Sure, I fought with him.
He was a pain in the ass sometimes.
Copy !req
222. - What's going on with you?
- No, Mom, I want to know.
Copy !req
223. Why did you marry him?
Copy !req
224. Boy, are you nosy! Will you get in bed?
Copy !req
225. I'm in bed. Tell me.
Copy !req
226. Because he was a great kisser.
Copy !req
227. A great kisser?
Copy !req
228. That's why you married him?
Copy !req
229. How great can you kiss?
Copy !req
230. Ask me again in a couple of years,
I'll let you know.
Copy !req
231. Who is it?
Diana Ross.
Copy !req
232. Are you ready to see a great beauty?
Copy !req
233. Ta-da!
Copy !req
234. You really love that joke, don't you?
That's your favorite one.
Copy !req
235. - Did you bring me a present?
- No, I didn't have time.
Copy !req
236. Okay. What do you think?
Copy !req
237. You look good. But is it sexy?
Copy !req
238. Sexy for Phoenix.
Copy !req
239. Besides, I'm not applying
at the Boom Boom Room.
Copy !req
240. - How do you know you can get a job?
- Because I will get one.
Copy !req
241. - What about when school starts?
- Don't worry about the mule going blind.
Copy !req
242. What if it gets to be September-
Copy !req
243. What if it gets to be what?
What's your problem, kid?
Copy !req
244. What do you want from me?
What's bothering you?
Copy !req
245. Get over here.
Copy !req
246. Sit down.
This is what I want you to do, okay?
Copy !req
247. I want you to make me a list.
I want to see it in writing.
Copy !req
248. Write it all out, all your problems...
Copy !req
249. all the things that are wrong
with your life, that can go bad.
Copy !req
250. Start writing. Write! Write it!
Copy !req
251. A whole list. All the bad things.
Copy !req
252. Why aren't you writing? Write!
Copy !req
253. I'm out there,
spending too much money on clothes...
Copy !req
254. trying to look like maybe I'm under 30
so somebody will hire me...
Copy !req
255. and you're sitting in here,
whining like an idiot.
Copy !req
256. I will get a job, all right?
Copy !req
257. I will get you to Monterey
before your birthday.
Copy !req
258. I will get you in school by September.
I swear it!
Copy !req
259. Shall I open a vein and sign it in blood?
Copy !req
260. I'm sorry, Tommy.
I know you're upset, too.
Copy !req
261. You've been taken away from your home...
Copy !req
262. and your friends, and everything.
Copy !req
263. When we get to Monterey,
things will be better.
Copy !req
264. How do you know?
Copy !req
265. Hey, kid, give me a break.
Copy !req
266. Act like you got good sense.
Copy !req
267. Just give me a little time
to make some money...
Copy !req
268. and everything will be okay. Okay?
Copy !req
269. Okay.
Copy !req
270. Okay, honey, I got to get going.
Copy !req
271. - I'll be back about 5:00 or 6:00, yeah?
- Okay.
Copy !req
272. All right.
Copy !req
273. - Will you wish me luck?
- I do, Mom. Good luck.
Copy !req
274. Club Manhattan.
Copy !req
275. Quo vadis?
Copy !req
276. Try this.
Copy !req
277. - Excuse me, is Joe or Jim in?
- What?
Copy !req
278. I said, is Joe or Jim here?
Copy !req
279. I heard what you said.
I just didn't believe it.
Copy !req
280. - Why not?
- There ain't no Joe or Jim.
Copy !req
281. What?
There's no Joe-
Copy !req
282. I heard what you said.
I just didn't believe it.
Copy !req
283. Is the manager or someone in?
Copy !req
284. We ain't hiring no waitresses.
Copy !req
285. I'm not a waitress. I'm a singer.
Copy !req
286. You're a singer?
Copy !req
287. Is the manager in?
Copy !req
288. He's in the hospital,
having half a lung removed.
Copy !req
289. I'm sorry.
He wouldn't want no singer.
Copy !req
290. Thank you. Excuse me,
could you spare a glass of water?
Copy !req
291. Sure.
Copy !req
292. Are you really a singer?
Copy !req
293. - Where did you sing?
- In Monterey, in California.
Copy !req
294. What's your name?
Alice Hyatt.
Copy !req
295. He wouldn't want no singer.
Copy !req
296. Okay. Thank you.
Copy !req
297. - Sorry.
- That's okay.
Copy !req
298. Come on in the back,
I'll introduce you to the boss.
Copy !req
299. Chicken? Chicken, I want you
to meet Alice.
Copy !req
300. - Hyatt.
- Mighty nice to meet you, miss.
Copy !req
301. Hyatt. Miss Hyatt.
Copy !req
302. - My name is Holliman. Chicken Holliman.
- Glad to meet you.
Copy !req
303. Would you mind turning around for me?
Copy !req
304. - Turn around for you? Why?
- I want to look at you.
Copy !req
305. Look at my face. I don't sing with my ass.
Copy !req
306. Lenny, what's with this broad?
Copy !req
307. Hello. Is the manager in?
Copy !req
308. We don't have a manager.
Just the owner, Mr. Jacobs.
Copy !req
309. Thank you. Jacobs?
Copy !req
310. Something I can do for you?
Copy !req
311. Come on, now. What's the matter?
Copy !req
312. Marie, bring us two Scotch, rocks.
Copy !req
313. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
314. - You trying to ruin my afternoon trade?
- No. Sorry.
Copy !req
315. You act like it.
Copy !req
316. Here, swig on this
and troubles will vanish.
Copy !req
317. Thank you.
Copy !req
318. See? What did I tell you?
Copy !req
319. Now you got money in the bank
and a faithful husband.
Copy !req
320. Come on. What can I do for you?
Copy !req
321. You came towards me
with a question mark on your face.
Copy !req
322. Do you have a Band-Aid?
Copy !req
323. Marie, see if you got any Band-Aids
down there.
Copy !req
324. I've been looking for a job all day.
Copy !req
325. These shoes are new.
Copy !req
326. I just got them this morning,
and they're giving me a blister.
Copy !req
327. Thank you.
Copy !req
328. I'm a singer.
Copy !req
329. I'm sorry. I got no money to pay a singer.
Copy !req
330. That's okay. Nobody does.
Copy !req
331. If I could give you a job, I would do it.
Copy !req
332. Thank you. You're very kind.
Copy !req
333. I don't know what I'm going to do.
Copy !req
334. - I don't even have a piano in here.
- It's okay.
Copy !req
335. - Come on.
- Thank you.
Copy !req
336. My husband just died.
Copy !req
337. - I don't even have a piano in here.
- I know.
Copy !req
338. I have a little boy I have to raise
all by myself...
Copy !req
339. and I don't know how I'm gonna do it.
Copy !req
340. I don't even have a piano in here.
Copy !req
341. Do you have any experience?
Copy !req
342. Just before I was married.
Copy !req
343. Are you any good?
Copy !req
344. Look, why don't you
come back tomorrow? Let me sleep on it.
Copy !req
345. No, you'll say no tomorrow.
If I could just sing for you now...
Copy !req
346. All right. There's a piano bar
down the street. Come on.
Copy !req
347. Great. Thanks a lot.
Copy !req
348. Marie, I'll be back in about 20 minutes.
Copy !req
349. Don't burn it down.
Copy !req
350. The owner said okay.
Just don't scare anybody away.
Copy !req
351. I won't, I hope.
Copy !req
352. Have a go.
Okay.
Copy !req
353. Is there anything in particular
you'd like to hear? Anything special?
Copy !req
354. Do you know:
"What's the use of getting married?
Copy !req
355. "It's only a waste of time
I'd rather sit upon a shelf
Copy !req
356. "One makes two
when you're talking to yourself
Copy !req
357. "Never let a girl be master
for the sake of a cuddle and a kiss
Copy !req
358. "You may have lots of things
you never had before
Copy !req
359. "What you never had you'll never miss"
Copy !req
360. I don't know that.
Copy !req
361. "So what's the use of getting married?"
Copy !req
362. I don't know that song.
Copy !req
363. So what'd you ask me for?
Go ahead and play.
Copy !req
364. Okay. Thank you.
Copy !req
365. Is that on?
Copy !req
366. How about now? Okay.
Copy !req
367. Hi, everybody.
Just go on and do whatever you're doing.
Copy !req
368. I'm going to sing.
Copy !req
369. I'm just going to sing a little.
Copy !req
370. Thank you.
Copy !req
371. Thank you. Bye.
Copy !req
372. That wasn't really very good.
I know. I was kind of nervous.
Copy !req
373. Auditions are hard, you know?
Copy !req
374. - You go for the piano for the first month.
- Sure.
Copy !req
375. That was it. I did it!
I got a job as a singer!
Copy !req
376. Are we rich?
Copy !req
377. No, we're not rich yet,
but we might be someday.
Copy !req
378. I found this motel, and a woman said
we could have a room with a kitchenette.
Copy !req
379. The monthly rate is dirt-cheap,
and we can save like hell.
Copy !req
380. What am I supposed to do all the time?
Copy !req
381. Go visit a reservation
and play with the Indians.
Copy !req
382. It's too hot outside.
Copy !req
383. Goodness, Wanda Fay, take a fan with you.
Copy !req
384. You're a very weird kid.
Copy !req
385. You know what I'll do
when my ship comes in?
Copy !req
386. I'm going to get me
one of those fancy negligees...
Copy !req
387. and a pair of gold high-heeled slippers...
Copy !req
388. with the fur pompons on them,
or whatever you call them.
Copy !req
389. And then I'm going to shave my legs,
like all those ladies on television do.
Copy !req
390. What do you want
when my ship comes in, honey?
Copy !req
391. Tom?
Copy !req
392. You always look like such an angel
when you're sleeping.
Copy !req
393. I'll get you to Monterey, kid.
I swear to God I will.
Copy !req
394. I like your singing.
Copy !req
395. Thank you.
Well?
Copy !req
396. Well?
Copy !req
397. I'm lonely.
Copy !req
398. Aren't you going to ask me to sit down?
Copy !req
399. No.
Why not?
Copy !req
400. Because I prefer to sit alone.
Copy !req
401. Come on, nobody likes to sit alone.
Copy !req
402. You're right. The real reason why you can't
sit down is because I don't want you to.
Copy !req
403. Why?
Copy !req
404. Because I'm in a very bad mood.
Copy !req
405. - Maybe I can help you to get out of it.
- I doubt that.
Copy !req
406. Why are you in a bad mood?
Copy !req
407. Do you really want to know?
Copy !req
408. - Yeah, I really want to know.
- All right.
Copy !req
409. I have a 12-year-old kid stashed in a motel
who's bored out of his skull.
Copy !req
410. I'm not making enough money
in this place.
Copy !req
411. And I cut my little finger on a tin can
this morning opening some peaches...
Copy !req
412. and it hurts like a son of a bitch
every time I play a chord.
Copy !req
413. And if one more guy makes a pass at me,
I'm going to sock him in the face.
Copy !req
414. Sorry about your finger.
Copy !req
415. All right, sit down.
Copy !req
416. Over there, please. Don't sit so close.
Copy !req
417. My name's Ben Eberhardt.
Copy !req
418. Mine is Alice Hyatt.
Copy !req
419. Hiya, Hyatt.
Copy !req
420. Oh, please.
Copy !req
421. Yeah, I guess a lot of fellas
pull that one on you.
Copy !req
422. Yeah, but most of them are under 12.
Copy !req
423. Sometimes I've thought I'd like to
mimeograph a page that listed my age...
Copy !req
424. where I went to school,
my favorite color...
Copy !req
425. my most embarrassing moment,
what I do for a living...
Copy !req
426. all that type of stuff.
Copy !req
427. So, what do you do for a living?
Copy !req
428. - I fill bullet cases with powder.
- Do what?
Copy !req
429. I fill bullet cases with powder.
Copy !req
430. You're not kidding?
Copy !req
431. I guess there's not a whole lot to say
about that.
Copy !req
432. I really like your singing.
Copy !req
433. I really thank you.
Copy !req
434. Can I ask you something,
just a little personal thing?
Copy !req
435. Let's hear it.
Copy !req
436. - It's coming.
- Okay.
Copy !req
437. - Do you mind if I sit just a little bit closer?
- Yes.
Copy !req
438. Alice.
Copy !req
439. What are you doing? You're ruining it!
I paid a lot of money for this.
Copy !req
440. Should have put you in boiling water first.
Copy !req
441. You big baboon!
You just wait. You'll be sorry.
Copy !req
442. Shut up, lady.
Okay, Sam, take it away.
Copy !req
443. I won't sing.
Copy !req
444. Why?
Copy !req
445. Is that the only word
your mind can understand?
Copy !req
446. Why?
Copy !req
447. Because I don't date teenagers,
that's why.
Copy !req
448. - I'm 29.
- Liar.
Copy !req
449. - I'm 27.
- Maybe.
Copy !req
450. Maybe...
When?
Copy !req
451. Last month.
Copy !req
452. Look, I'm 35.
Does that mean anything to you?
Copy !req
453. Three-dash-five.
Copy !req
454. When I was in the third grade,
your mother was pregnant with you.
Copy !req
455. When I graduated from high school,
you were sucking on Popsicles.
Copy !req
456. Now, I don't date teenagers.
Copy !req
457. Alice.
Copy !req
458. - Is it yes or no?
- No.
Copy !req
459. - No?
- Yes, no.
Copy !req
460. - Yes?
- No.
Copy !req
461. Yes. No. Now I'm all mixed up.
Copy !req
462. No.
Copy !req
463. Stop grinning at me.
Copy !req
464. That's all I need right now...
Copy !req
465. to get involved with a 27-year-old person.
Copy !req
466. I just don't need it. Period.
Copy !req
467. You sure?
Copy !req
468. What was that?
Copy !req
469. I don't know.
Copy !req
470. You just stay out of it!
Just stay out of it!
Copy !req
471. You're a whore!
Copy !req
472. I thought this was
supposed to be a vacation.
Copy !req
473. You call this a vacation? Shut up!
Copy !req
474. Stop or I'll scream,
then I'll have everybody in here.
Copy !req
475. Everybody will be here!
Keep your voice down.
Copy !req
476. Don't come near me.
Copy !req
477. I want out.
Go! There's the door!
Copy !req
478. You going out late again tonight?
Copy !req
479. I don't know. Why?
Copy !req
480. Just wondering
when you'll introduce me to that guy...
Copy !req
481. you've been running around with.
Copy !req
482. His name is Ben,
and of course I'll introduce you to him.
Copy !req
483. Should I call him Uncle Ben?
Copy !req
484. Isn't that what men like him
like to be called?
Copy !req
485. Men like what?
Copy !req
486. Don't be so sure you know
what you're talking about all the time.
Copy !req
487. You should see the bags under your eyes.
Copy !req
488. I wouldn't be surprised.
I've been working, you know.
Copy !req
489. You've been coming home late
for almost a week now.
Copy !req
490. And I figure
he's going to be around for a while.
Copy !req
491. So I have to call him something.
Copy !req
492. Coming.
Copy !req
493. Hello.
Copy !req
494. - Hi. Are you Miss Hyatt?
- Mrs. Hyatt.
Copy !req
495. Could I come in
and talk to you for a minute?
Copy !req
496. What's it about?
Copy !req
497. My name's Rita Eberhardt, and...
Copy !req
498. Sure. Come on in.
Copy !req
499. I'm sorry, it's a terrible mess in here.
Let's go in the kitchen.
Copy !req
500. - Would you go in the other room, please?
- Who's this, the Avon lady?
Copy !req
501. No lip. Just go in the other room.
Copy !req
502. So he's married. I didn't know that.
I'm sorry. I really didn't know it.
Copy !req
503. I can believe that. For all I've seen him
in the last two years...
Copy !req
504. I hardly don't know it myself.
Copy !req
505. I wouldn't have come here like this...
Copy !req
506. only Ben's been missing work
off and on the last week or so...
Copy !req
507. ever since he met you.
Copy !req
508. Lady, we just got to
have his salary check regular.
Copy !req
509. George, that's my little boy,
he's got this ear trouble.
Copy !req
510. It just drains and drains, and
it don't seem like anything will stop it...
Copy !req
511. and the medicine costs a terrible price.
Copy !req
512. - I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
Copy !req
513. How did you know my name?
Copy !req
514. I left George with my girlfriend Nancy...
Copy !req
515. and followed Ben night before last.
Copy !req
516. I saw him and you
coming out of Jacobs' place...
Copy !req
517. and then yesterday
I asked around about you.
Copy !req
518. You don't have to worry.
Copy !req
519. I won't be seeing him anymore.
Copy !req
520. Rita?
Copy !req
521. Rita, are you in there?
Copy !req
522. Mom?
Copy !req
523. Rita, you in there?
You bitch, I know you're in there!
Copy !req
524. You might as well answer me now!
Alice, is she in there?
Copy !req
525. Rita, you bitch! Open the door.
Copy !req
526. Open the goddamn door, Alice!
Copy !req
527. Alice, open that goddamn door!
Copy !req
528. I said, open this goddamn door, Alice!
Copy !req
529. What did you do?
Copy !req
530. What did you do?
Copy !req
531. Get out!
Copy !req
532. Don't touch her, Alice.
Copy !req
533. If you don't drag your ass out that door,
I'm going to cut you.
Copy !req
534. I'm going to cut your ass. Get out!
Copy !req
535. What's the matter?
Why are you acting like this, Ben?
Copy !req
536. Why don't you just calm down now?
Just go home.
Copy !req
537. Don't tell me what to do.
Copy !req
538. God damn it, Alice,
don't tell me what to do!
Copy !req
539. Don't tell me what to do, Alice.
Damn it, don't ever tell me what to do.
Copy !req
540. I'll bust your jaw!
Copy !req
541. All right. Okay, now, I'll tell you what.
Copy !req
542. I'll be over at Jacobs' to pick you up later
when you get off of work, all right?
Copy !req
543. All right?
Copy !req
544. Okay, see you about 1:30?
Copy !req
545. All right. I'll be there.
Copy !req
546. Alice, you just got to understand
one thing about me. I'm just like this.
Copy !req
547. Don't mess around with it,
and it won't mess with you.
Copy !req
548. Mess around with it,
and it's going to kill you.
Copy !req
549. That bitch has messed around with me.
Copy !req
550. All right, sweetheart?
Copy !req
551. Okay, I'll see you later.
Copy !req
552. I'm all right.
Copy !req
553. Please close.
Let's see if that's closed.
Copy !req
554. No! I can't go on.
Oh, shit.
Copy !req
555. Wait, let's calm down.
Copy !req
556. I'm going to do this now,
and I'm going to close it.
Copy !req
557. - Something's sticking out over here.
- Stick it in.
Copy !req
558. - All right, now I am going to close it.
- My poor suitcase.
Copy !req
559. I'll give you a little weight. Got it?
Copy !req
560. That's it! I've got it. Let's go.
Copy !req
561. All right.
Copy !req
562. Did you remember the money?
No.
Copy !req
563. Are you all right?
No.
Copy !req
564. Where is it?
Copy !req
565. Come on.
Copy !req
566. Quick, tell me. Which way?
Copy !req
567. You turn here.
Copy !req
568. - Where? Come on!
- Here!
Copy !req
569. Are you sure?
Here!
Copy !req
570. I'm doing it.
Copy !req
571. All right, let me see this.
Copy !req
572. - We're okay?
- Then you turn like this.
Copy !req
573. - See? Turn like this.
- Okay.
Copy !req
574. On the third day,
they sight the great gray gorilla.
Copy !req
575. And what they do with the gorilla
is they take it...
Copy !req
576. the guy goes up the tree,
like he always does...
Copy !req
577. knocks the gorilla off the tree,
and he falls down.
Copy !req
578. He's yelling to the hunter,
"Shoot the dog!"
Copy !req
579. Sit down, will you?
Copy !req
580. - But did you get it?
- Get what?
Copy !req
581. The joke. Remember when I told you
about the dog?
Copy !req
582. - Yeah, I got it, honey.
- You did not. I'll explain it.
Copy !req
583. The first time, the gorilla falls down...
Copy !req
584. the dog grabs it
and swings it around till it's dead.
Copy !req
585. The dog grabs the gorilla
and swings what?
Copy !req
586. The gorilla till it's dead.
Copy !req
587. The dog grabs the gorilla and
swings it around till it's dead. I got it.
Copy !req
588. - The joke is where the dog grabs it.
- Where?
Copy !req
589. On the nuts. That's the punch line.
Copy !req
590. "The dog grabs the gorilla
by the nuts," is the punch line?
Copy !req
591. No, that's the part of the story you have
to know to get the punch line.
Copy !req
592. You know what nuts are?
Copy !req
593. - Balls.
- Right. We'll go on from there.
Copy !req
594. Come on, Tommy.
Let me drive the car, will you?
Copy !req
595. Let me just tell you the punch line.
When the gorilla falls off the tree...
Copy !req
596. See what I mean by falling off the tree?
When the gorilla falls off the tree...
Copy !req
597. the hunter's yelling, "Shoot the dog!"
Copy !req
598. Because he got grabbed in the nuts
and swung around till he was dead.
Copy !req
599. Ain't that funny?
Copy !req
600. That the gorilla-
Tommy, it's enough.
Copy !req
601. The gorilla fell down,
and the dog grabbed him by the nuts.
Copy !req
602. Are you going to tell me this story again?
Copy !req
603. No, I'm going to tell it to you
until you understand it.
Copy !req
604. I understand it! Now shut up!
Then what's the joke?
Copy !req
605. I don't know.
Then I'll tell it to you again.
Copy !req
606. I think Tucson might be a nice place
for us to stay...
Copy !req
607. till I make some more money.
Copy !req
608. I mean, we're here. Why not?
Copy !req
609. How much money did we save in Phoenix?
Copy !req
610. $90.
Copy !req
611. We weren't even there very long,
and I had to buy all those darn dresses.
Copy !req
612. Did you sleep with him?
Copy !req
613. Tommy!
Copy !req
614. - Well, did you?
- Of course not. I hardly knew him.
Copy !req
615. Then how come you came home late
all those nights?
Copy !req
616. Because we were talking.
We had coffee and we were talking...
Copy !req
617. This isn't right. I'm not gonna
discuss my sex life with you.
Copy !req
618. Then I'm not gonna tell you about mine.
Copy !req
619. You drive a hard bargain.
Copy !req
620. "City of Tucson.
Copy !req
621. "Winter home
of the Cleveland Indians."
Copy !req
622. So far, I hate it.
Copy !req
623. I wish we could find a cheap motel.
Copy !req
624. Why doesn't somebody put out a sign:
"Cheap Motel"?
Copy !req
625. - It's not fancy, but we like it.
- Yes, it's home to us.
Copy !req
626. Christ, you'd think it had a bed.
Copy !req
627. I suspect it's under here someplace.
Copy !req
628. It is. The bed.
Copy !req
629. Okay, I'm off to get rich.
Copy !req
630. - I'll see you later.
- Thanks for the warning.
Copy !req
631. God, he's a card.
Copy !req
632. Good luck. Tell them you know Kay Starr!
Copy !req
633. Okay, you can relax, kid. I got a job.
Copy !req
634. Where?
Copy !req
635. - Mel and Ruby's café.
- They got an electric piano there?
Copy !req
636. They don't have a piano.
Copy !req
637. How are you going to sing?
Copy !req
638. I'm not. I'm waiting on tables.
Copy !req
639. What?
Copy !req
640. I'm a waitress, that's what.
Copy !req
641. Is it a nice place, anyway?
Copy !req
642. Hell, yes. Mel and Ruby's café?
Are you kidding?
Copy !req
643. It doesn't sound so bad.
Copy !req
644. There's just Mel there.
Ruby's been dead for 14 years.
Copy !req
645. The place killed her.
It'll probably kill me, too.
Copy !req
646. They gave me the address where
I can go to buy my waitress uniform.
Copy !req
647. Oh, God. A waitress.
Copy !req
648. Maybe I could do something.
Get a job.
Copy !req
649. Thank you.
Copy !req
650. It won't be so bad.
Copy !req
651. It's right next door. I can walk to work.
We'll always have food to eat.
Copy !req
652. I'll earn enough money
to get us to Monterey.
Copy !req
653. I forgot to tell you.
Copy !req
654. I saw a place up the street
where you can take guitar lessons.
Copy !req
655. Here, honey, eggs firm, right there.
Copy !req
656. Here, Gene, toast coming up.
Copy !req
657. Hi, honey. How are you?
Here's your eggs.
Copy !req
658. Flo, ready on the bacon!
Copy !req
659. Mel!
Copy !req
660. Where's that order of bacon?
Copy !req
661. I swear that man moves
like dead lice were falling off him.
Copy !req
662. I mean, Grandma was slow,
but she was old.
Copy !req
663. Mel, what you doing back there,
pulling on your pudding?
Copy !req
664. Or are you giving it a whack
with a hammer?
Copy !req
665. I heard the only way you can get it up
is to slam it in a door.
Copy !req
666. I don't want to get
too close to you, honey.
Copy !req
667. It will get you all bothered up
early in the morning.
Copy !req
668. I could lay under you, eat fried chicken...
Copy !req
669. and do a crossword puzzle
at the same time.
Copy !req
670. That's how much you bother me.
Copy !req
671. Do you need anything else at this table?
The tea, sure.
Copy !req
672. Did you decide
what you want for breakfast?
Copy !req
673. First, I want a big smile.
Copy !req
674. Do you want eggs?
Yeah, ham and eggs.
Copy !req
675. Ham and eggs.
How do you want your eggs?
Copy !req
676. Everybody, listen!
Copy !req
677. We got us here a new girl,
and her name is Alice.
Copy !req
678. And today is her first day on the job.
Copy !req
679. And Mel here says that she was
a singer. How about them apples?
Copy !req
680. And everybody can see
she's got big tits on her.
Copy !req
681. But hands off.
Let the girl do her work.
Copy !req
682. If there's going to be
any grab-assing around here, grab mine.
Copy !req
683. You look, but don't you touch.
Copy !req
684. Steady, big fella. It gets easier.
Copy !req
685. All right. Now, do you want toast?
Copy !req
686. - Yeah.
- And coffee?
Copy !req
687. - Thank you.
- A big smile.
Copy !req
688. What did you want?
Some toast. You took away my plate.
Copy !req
689. Here, take this one.
Copy !req
690. These people are...
Copy !req
691. Vera.
Copy !req
692. Excuse me. I can't find the tea bags.
Could you show me where they are?
Copy !req
693. I looked all over down here,
and I don't see them anywhere.
Copy !req
694. What the hell's going on out there?
Copy !req
695. I'm sorry. I was looking for the tea bags.
Copy !req
696. They're right down there in a can
across from the coffee, a little round can.
Copy !req
697. I see. Yeah, thank you.
Okay. You all right?
Copy !req
698. You know, I can tell
that you're new to this kind of work.
Copy !req
699. But you catch on real quick.
Copy !req
700. Most of them...
Copy !req
701. Honey, most of them are out that door
by 10:30 in the morning, crying.
Copy !req
702. Thanks a lot. I might blow my brains out.
Copy !req
703. You don't like me very much, do you?
Copy !req
704. Not very much, no.
Copy !req
705. Honey, that's okay.
I've been dumped on by kings in my time.
Copy !req
706. I don't doubt it.
Copy !req
707. Flo, I really don't need anybody
making speeches for me...
Copy !req
708. so I'd appreciate it if you'd just
leave me out of your jokes, okay?
Copy !req
709. - Jokes? What jokes?
- The little routine you do for the fellas.
Copy !req
710. Just leave me out of it.
Copy !req
711. I sure would hate to have breakfast
with you every morning of my life.
Copy !req
712. You don't have to worry.
There's not much danger of that.
Copy !req
713. God, I hate that place. I said
I would hate it, I was right. I hate it.
Copy !req
714. But I earned $17 in tips today.
Copy !req
715. Not bad.
Mel said I'll do better in a week or so.
Copy !req
716. How long do you think
we'll have to stay in this hellhole?
Copy !req
717. Quit it, Mom.
Copy !req
718. Quit it, Mom.
Copy !req
719. You better stop.
Copy !req
720. No, Tommy. No more.
Copy !req
721. That's it, no more.
Honey, I was only kidding.
Copy !req
722. Don't do it.
You'll get it all over everything.
Copy !req
723. Tom, I'm warning you, don't do it.
Copy !req
724. If you do, you'll be sorry.
Copy !req
725. You'll be very sorry
because I'll drench you.
Copy !req
726. I will. I'll pour it all on your head.
Copy !req
727. I quit! No more!
Copy !req
728. Okay, that's enough.
Copy !req
729. No, no more! Don't!
Copy !req
730. Come on, cut it out. That's enough now.
Copy !req
731. You sure?
Yes, I'm sure. Stop.
Copy !req
732. Look at this mess.
Copy !req
733. This is terrible. What have we done?
Copy !req
734. You!
Copy !req
735. Bye.
Bye.
Copy !req
736. Weird.
Copy !req
737. Very weird.
Copy !req
738. He's even weird for Tucson, and Tucson
is the weird capital of the world.
Copy !req
739. I didn't know that.
Copy !req
740. - What's your name?
- Tom.
Copy !req
741. Mine's Audrey. It's really not.
It's Doris, but I like Audrey better.
Copy !req
742. Weird.
Copy !req
743. You want to get high on Ripple?
Copy !req
744. What?
You want to get high on Ripple?
Copy !req
745. No, I can't.
Copy !req
746. What about your folks?
My dad split two years ago.
Copy !req
747. Mom turns tricks at the Ramada Inn
from 3:00 p. m. on.
Copy !req
748. What if she came home?
Copy !req
749. She wouldn't even notice.
Copy !req
750. I could have a troop
of bare-assed Eagle Scouts...
Copy !req
751. in for the afternoon
and she wouldn't blink an eye.
Copy !req
752. Is your mom a hard-nose?
No, a singer.
Copy !req
753. - Or a waitress, I guess.
- A singing waitress.
Copy !req
754. Weird.
Copy !req
755. So you want Ripple or not?
Copy !req
756. No, not today. Maybe Wednesday.
Copy !req
757. - I'll see you then.
- Right. Bye-bye.
Copy !req
758. What about Friday?
Copy !req
759. No, I can't. I'm sorry. Thank you.
Copy !req
760. New Year's Eve?
Copy !req
761. I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna be here
for New Year's Eve.
Copy !req
762. What am I doing wrong?
Copy !req
763. It's not that.
Copy !req
764. It's the beard. I'll cut it off.
Copy !req
765. - No, I like your beard.
- You do?
Copy !req
766. You want some more coffee?
Copy !req
767. Tommy, what are you doing?
Come on, honey, cut it out.
Copy !req
768. Why don't you go play
with your girlfriend Audrey, or something?
Copy !req
769. She's got the curse.
Copy !req
770. In that case, why don't you go
to that last table...
Copy !req
771. sit down, shut up, and don't move?
Copy !req
772. - Don't even twitch.
- Mom, I'm bored.
Copy !req
773. B- O-R-E-D.
Copy !req
774. Bored!
Copy !req
775. I lost my place.
Copy !req
776. - You want to read something good?
- What is it?
Copy !req
777. The Bride Screamed Murder.
Copy !req
778. The Bride Screamed Murder.
Copy !req
779. You can color it if you want to.
Copy !req
780. We're going to have to stop
meeting like this.
Copy !req
781. Good night.
Good night, Al.
Copy !req
782. Have a good night tonight.
You, too.
Copy !req
783. Do you drive a motorcycle?
Copy !req
784. - No, my father picks me up.
- I see.
Copy !req
785. - Did you want to meet him?
- I'd like to.
Copy !req
786. - I just came to escort you home.
- Thank you, sir.
Copy !req
787. Alice, this is my daddy, Duke.
Charmed, I'm sure.
Copy !req
788. How do you do?
Copy !req
789. Very nice.
Copy !req
790. Neat motorcycle.
Copy !req
791. Weird.
Copy !req
792. Daddy Duke?
Copy !req
793. I can't open this.
Copy !req
794. - Where did you put the butter last night?
- I never laid a finger on it.
Copy !req
795. The hell you didn't.
Copy !req
796. You can kiss me
where the sun don't shine.
Copy !req
797. I'll kiss you anywhere you want.
Where the hell's the butter?
Copy !req
798. Why don't you give yourself a jack job
in a paper sack...
Copy !req
799. and get off my back?
Copy !req
800. Hi. Come on in, there.
You ready for some eggs and grits?
Copy !req
801. I'll get the hash browns
and the coffee on, sugar.
Copy !req
802. Got it all ready.
Copy !req
803. Hi.
Copy !req
804. Come outside.
I got something to show you.
Copy !req
805. Wow, is this yours?
Copy !req
806. Neat horse.
Copy !req
807. Mom, he's got a fantastic horse out there
that I can ride. Can I go?
Copy !req
808. No, I don't think so.
Copy !req
809. Mom, I'm going just crazy in here.
Just crazy!
Copy !req
810. Read a book.
Mom!
Copy !req
811. All right, go on. But don't be gone long.
Come back early.
Copy !req
812. - Will you come on?
- That's very tricky.
Copy !req
813. I got no shame.
Let's go.
Copy !req
814. - He's got a hutch where he raises rabbits.
- I'll bet.
Copy !req
815. - But horses are the main thing.
- I've seen horses.
Copy !req
816. I rode this chestnut one
that was named Ribbon.
Copy !req
817. And hold on! He makes his own ice cream!
Copy !req
818. He asked us out there Sunday.
Copy !req
819. Farmer John's gonna have to get along
without me, I'll tell you that.
Copy !req
820. - I want to go.
- No.
Copy !req
821. - Yes!
- No!
Copy !req
822. - Yes!
- No!
Copy !req
823. Shit!
Copy !req
824. Don't run over us.
Copy !req
825. Hold him in.
Copy !req
826. You're doing good, honey.
Copy !req
827. Took me six years to get this place.
Copy !req
828. We've got fescue or winter pasture,
you know.
Copy !req
829. Right before you get to that bare stuff.
Copy !req
830. And that's alfalfa,
or it will be in two months.
Copy !req
831. I see.
Copy !req
832. Gee, it's just-
It's nice, isn't it?
Copy !req
833. Yeah, it really is.
Copy !req
834. Tommy, don't use your fingernails.
She'll kick that bucket over.
Copy !req
835. Okay.
Copy !req
836. Very funny.
Copy !req
837. That's wonderful, darling.
Copy !req
838. How would you like the holy hell
kicked out of you?
Copy !req
839. Tommy, watch the fingernails.
Copy !req
840. Christ, she's got tits
the size of cucumbers.
Copy !req
841. What do you expect?
Copy !req
842. I just don't know where he gets
that language. I really don't.
Copy !req
843. Think real hard. It'll come to you, lady.
Copy !req
844. Maybe he picks it up at school.
Copy !req
845. Cooking utensils? Right.
Copy !req
846. Hey, you going to come help us with this?
Copy !req
847. No. I can't sing that kind of music.
Copy !req
848. - You can try it.
- No-
Copy !req
849. Let's try again.
Copy !req
850. For somebody who says
he can only boil water...
Copy !req
851. you got a lot of fancy equipment out there.
Copy !req
852. What?
Copy !req
853. - In the kitchen, that stuff.
- My wife got those things.
Copy !req
854. - I didn't know you were married.
- I'm not. I was married...
Copy !req
855. but we split up about two years ago.
Copy !req
856. She divorced me, took the kids, and split.
Copy !req
857. I'm sorry I asked.
No, it's okay, it's just...
Copy !req
858. she wanted this, I wanted that.
Copy !req
859. She said, "I'm leaving."
Copy !req
860. I held the door for her.
Copy !req
861. Come on, a person could go crazy
waiting in here.
Copy !req
862. A person could also
get his face slapped, too, you know?
Copy !req
863. I bet I could.
That's right, you could.
Copy !req
864. Can you get him?
Yeah.
Copy !req
865. I hardly recognize him
with his mouth closed.
Copy !req
866. Isn't that the truth?
Copy !req
867. He's a good kid.
Copy !req
868. Good night.
Good night.
Copy !req
869. I had a real good time.
Me, too.
Copy !req
870. Steve, you better watch it.
You're going to draw back a bloody stub.
Copy !req
871. I changed the price
on the combination here.
Copy !req
872. Listen, tell Alice her roast beef is ready.
Copy !req
873. Where is Alice?
Copy !req
874. She's out there in the john,
trying to get her knees unwelded.
Copy !req
875. Why don't you lay off her? She's all right.
Copy !req
876. I like her. She doesn't like me.
Copy !req
877. Go, go on.
Copy !req
878. Here, honey, I'm sorry.
Mel gave me the order at the same time.
Copy !req
879. I had to bring you a salad-
How about some service over here?
Copy !req
880. - Flo, ready on the BLT!
- Right!
Copy !req
881. Flo, where's Vera?
Copy !req
882. We got three orders piled over here!
Copy !req
883. Flo, where the hell's Vera?
Copy !req
884. What's the matter?
You didn't get your milk?
Copy !req
885. You're absolutely right.
I'm going to get you-
Copy !req
886. Where the hell is Vera?
Copy !req
887. - I can't get this thing open.
- Okay.
Copy !req
888. Can't you hear me? Where the hell's Vera?
Copy !req
889. She went to shit, and the hogs ate her!
Copy !req
890. What the hell is going on here?
Copy !req
891. All I asked you is where the hell Vera is.
Copy !req
892. Come on.
Copy !req
893. Look, I'm really sorry.
You know, Flo's got personal problems.
Copy !req
894. It's an accident. It happens.
Copy !req
895. All right, honey. I'm sorry. Really.
Copy !req
896. That's the worst thing
I've ever heard in my life.
Copy !req
897. You know, you have a worse mouth
than my kid.
Copy !req
898. - You mean, you like it?
- Like it? I hate it.
Copy !req
899. Did you make that up?
Copy !req
900. No. I heard it all my life.
I heard it first from my dad.
Copy !req
901. - You're kidding me.
- No, he's got some terrific sayings.
Copy !req
902. He lives out on a farm.
Copy !req
903. He always says his name's P.P.
Copy !req
904. He always says,
"Don't call me P.P. 'cause I'm all urine."
Copy !req
905. He makes up poems like,
"Alice, Alice, got no malice."
Copy !req
906. No more.
Copy !req
907. I'm glad you like that one.
Copy !req
908. Come on, the customers are waiting.
What's the matter?
Copy !req
909. Yeah. Laugh, laugh.
Copy !req
910. My business is falling apart,
and you're laughing.
Copy !req
911. On the way back to the motel,
I saw the "Waitress Wanted" sign.
Copy !req
912. I said, "Why not?" So I took this job.
Copy !req
913. Let me give you a hint.
Copy !req
914. - Honey, unbutton that top button.
- Really?
Copy !req
915. If you bend over,
you get more tips when you're working.
Copy !req
916. - You're kidding me-
- I'm not kidding. I got $50 last week.
Copy !req
917. - Really?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
918. - Like that?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
919. Honey, forget what I said.
Copy !req
920. You do that,
and I'm never going to get a tip again.
Copy !req
921. You're so funny.
Copy !req
922. Boy.
Copy !req
923. You really need someone to talk to,
don't you?
Copy !req
924. You know, I bet you sure get lonesome,
don't you?
Copy !req
925. Yep. I miss my friend Bea.
Copy !req
926. What time is it now, about 2:30?
Copy !req
927. Exactly. How did you know that?
Copy !req
928. I can feel it.
Bea is now watching All My Children.
Copy !req
929. There's this character
on the show named Jeff...
Copy !req
930. and she's just madly in love with him.
Copy !req
931. You want me to fix you up
with somebody?
Copy !req
932. I know lots of guys
who'd fall down over you.
Copy !req
933. Their brains would fall out,
and they'd froth at the mouth.
Copy !req
934. That sounds attractive.
Copy !req
935. Thanks a lot, but I don't think so.
Copy !req
936. Besides, I kind of got my eye
on Daddy Duke.
Copy !req
937. Honey, if you change your mind,
just let me know.
Copy !req
938. I sure will.
Copy !req
939. Isn't that sun wonderful?
Copy !req
940. - Is today the Ripple day?
- No, not today.
Copy !req
941. - You want to steal something?
- Steal what?
Copy !req
942. - I don't know. What do you need?
- Nothing, really.
Copy !req
943. What do you want?
Copy !req
944. Nothing, except some guitar strings,
but they're real expensive.
Copy !req
945. - Where are they, at Chicago music store?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
946. Let's go, darling.
Copy !req
947. Come on.
Copy !req
948. Are you all right?
Copy !req
949. - My knee.
- What happened?
Copy !req
950. There's a slick spot on your floor.
Copy !req
951. I hope this doesn't ruin
my tryout for cheerleader.
Copy !req
952. I'm so sorry. Maybe you just stumbled.
Copy !req
953. - Thank you very much, sir.
- Good luck on your cheerleading.
Copy !req
954. I'd rather take a whipping
than mend fences.
Copy !req
955. Maybe it would be easier
to get an electric fence.
Copy !req
956. Not really.
Copy !req
957. They'd be out in about a week, anyway.
Copy !req
958. They smell the apples over there
and get wilder than a guinea.
Copy !req
959. What does?
The cows.
Copy !req
960. Don't try and understand a cow.
Okay.
Copy !req
961. The only thing dumber than a cow
is a chicken.
Copy !req
962. Turkeys are worse.
Copy !req
963. You know what a little turkey does
when it rains?
Copy !req
964. Put their head back
and open up their mouths and drown.
Copy !req
965. They do not.
They do, too.
Copy !req
966. My grandmother lost about 200 of them
once in one rainstorm.
Copy !req
967. Could I touch your beard?
Copy !req
968. It's soft.
Copy !req
969. Your brother taught you to kiss?
I don't mean he demonstrated.
Copy !req
970. He told me that
the worst thing that can happen...
Copy !req
971. is if a boy feels like he's put his lips
in a bowl of wet oatmeal.
Copy !req
972. At least he said "lips."
Copy !req
973. So the most important thing
to remember before you kiss...
Copy !req
974. is to wipe your mouth real good
and keep your lips together...
Copy !req
975. so he doesn't kiss your teeth.
Copy !req
976. We went to see
The Postman Always Rings Twice.
Copy !req
977. And there was this big close-up of...
What's her name?
Copy !req
978. Lana Turner and John Garfield, right?
They're coming together.
Copy !req
979. Big dramatic moment.
At last, they're going to kiss.
Copy !req
980. The music's playing. Very dramatic.
Copy !req
981. Just as they come together,
they both open their mouths.
Copy !req
982. I thought, "My God, don't they know
how to kiss? What's wrong with them?"
Copy !req
983. I turned and looked at my brother
to see what he was going to say.
Copy !req
984. He didn't move,
he was just looking at screen.
Copy !req
985. He didn't say anything
for three weeks.
Copy !req
986. Then all of a sudden one day, he says:
Copy !req
987. "Well, Al, I've been thinking."
Copy !req
988. Al?
Yes, he always called me Al.
Copy !req
989. "I think maybe you're supposed to
part your lips a little bit when you kiss."
Copy !req
990. God bless him.
Copy !req
991. If not, I had my work cut out for me.
Copy !req
992. So anyway, and then...
Copy !req
993. we decided we wanted to go
into show business from the movies.
Copy !req
994. Why did you leave?
Copy !req
995. I got married, and Donald
wanted to live in his hometown.
Copy !req
996. I wanted to go on singing.
Copy !req
997. He said, "No wife of mine
is going to sing in a saloon."
Copy !req
998. I said, "Yes, master." I kind of liked that.
Copy !req
999. You liked it?
It was like, you know...
Copy !req
1000. my idea of a man: strong and dominating.
Copy !req
1001. I'll show you our act.
This is what we used to do.
Copy !req
1002. I figure, I don't know,
the bubble dancer didn't show up.
Copy !req
1003. So they called my brother and I.
Copy !req
1004. My brother would enter and walk onstage,
and I'd be behind him...
Copy !req
1005. making the same moves,
so that you couldn't see me from the front.
Copy !req
1006. And then he'd get out and say,
"Usually I do an act with my sister...
Copy !req
1007. "but she didn't show up today."
Copy !req
1008. And then I would...
Then they would laugh again.
Copy !req
1009. - So we'd do it on the other side, right?
- That's a hell of an act.
Copy !req
1010. That's what we did.
That was my start in show business.
Copy !req
1011. And then-
Tough act to follow.
Copy !req
1012. We never got paid for it.
I found out years later...
Copy !req
1013. that people got paid
for being in show business.
Copy !req
1014. When I was 19, I got a job
in this really nice hotel in Monterey.
Copy !req
1015. I would play the piano and sing.
I really liked it there.
Copy !req
1016. That's why I want to go back
and pick up where I left off.
Copy !req
1017. Which do you want?
What do you mean?
Copy !req
1018. Do you want to go home,
or do you want to sing?
Copy !req
1019. I want to do both. Can't I have everything?
Copy !req
1020. - You think they're the same?
- You mean, they're not?
Copy !req
1021. I don't know. That was a while ago.
Copy !req
1022. I have an idea, fella.
Copy !req
1023. I've been getting one myself.
Copy !req
1024. An idea?
Yeah. What's yours?
Copy !req
1025. - I have to show it to you.
- What?
Copy !req
1026. If you come with me into the other room,
I'll show you my idea...
Copy !req
1027. if you'll show me yours.
Copy !req
1028. Shoot the dog!
Copy !req
1029. Didn't you get it? I'll tell it to you.
Copy !req
1030. In the beginning, the guy's saying:
Copy !req
1031. "What do you want me
to do with the gun?" He doesn't tell him.
Copy !req
1032. Then the guy says, "Shoot the dog."
Copy !req
1033. He says, "Shoot the dog."
Copy !req
1034. He says, "Shoot the dog."
Copy !req
1035. Wait a minute.
Do you see why he said shoot the dog?
Copy !req
1036. Hi, what are you two up to?
Copy !req
1037. - We're gonna go fishing by this-
- By a spring-fed lake by Pittsville.
Copy !req
1038. - A spring-fed lake up by Pittsville.
- We need four cheeseburgers to go.
Copy !req
1039. Okay, four cheeseburgers.
You know what happened today?
Copy !req
1040. Guy up the street got robbed-
Start the burgers.
Copy !req
1041. We're running late.
Then come back and tell us all about it.
Copy !req
1042. - Will there be anything else, sir?
- I guess not.
Copy !req
1043. What? Hog got your tongue?
There goes the fishing trip.
Copy !req
1044. She's leaking oil.
I got to take her to Charlie's.
Copy !req
1045. Did you ask?
He said he can't ruin his truck...
Copy !req
1046. so you can catch a fish. Got it?
Copy !req
1047. Sounds familiar.
Copy !req
1048. Cheer up.
Copy !req
1049. Tomorrow, you're 12 years old.
You're fully grown.
Copy !req
1050. You can do whatever you want,
go fishing, get married, or...
Copy !req
1051. When I count to three, draw.
Copy !req
1052. One, two, three!
Copy !req
1053. You missed me, sidewinder.
Copy !req
1054. Put in another quarter and try again.
Copy !req
1055. Hello there, you lonesome polecat.
Copy !req
1056. You think
you're such a good draw.
Copy !req
1057. Try and outdraw me.
What's he doing?
Copy !req
1058. - When I count to three, draw.
- He's your kid.
Copy !req
1059. I'm scared.
Copy !req
1060. One, two, three.
Copy !req
1061. Tommy, please don't do that.
It stops my heart.
Copy !req
1062. Put another quarter in and try again, Mom.
Copy !req
1063. - Can I put it in?
- Go away.
Copy !req
1064. You got a very spooky kid.
I know.
Copy !req
1065. I told you three times,
it goes from D to A7.
Copy !req
1066. And I told you three times,
A7 hurts my fingers.
Copy !req
1067. Try it this way. Two fingers.
Copy !req
1068. I got these 12-year-old hands.
I can't do that.
Copy !req
1069. You can't do that if you don't try.
Now try it.
Copy !req
1070. Let me put it this way: no.
Copy !req
1071. Come here, Tommy.
You won't learn anything by quitting.
Copy !req
1072. David. Tommy!
Copy !req
1073. Turn that thing off!
Copy !req
1074. Damn you!
Copy !req
1075. Screw you. Do you understand that?
Copy !req
1076. When will you understand that
I hate that shit-kicking music of yours!
Copy !req
1077. Shit-kicking!
Copy !req
1078. Did you hit him? Did he hit you?
Copy !req
1079. Shit, yes, he hit me.
Copy !req
1080. - You hit him?
- You're damn right I did, and he needed it.
Copy !req
1081. - That's what guys who hit kids always say.
- For Christ's sake.
Copy !req
1082. I don't know what you expect from him.
Copy !req
1083. I expect him to do what I say
when he's in my house.
Copy !req
1084. Why should he? All you do is criticize him.
Copy !req
1085. - I what?
- I was hoping you'd be an example for him.
Copy !req
1086. Like you were?
You're a hell of an example.
Copy !req
1087. I damn well try to be.
Copy !req
1088. That's why he's got the foulest mouth
on any kid I've ever seen.
Copy !req
1089. When does he ever hear me swear?
You spoil him rotten.
Copy !req
1090. That kid thinks he can do
whatever he wants to do...
Copy !req
1091. whenever he wants
and wherever he wants to do it.
Copy !req
1092. So do you. You're just as selfish as he is.
Copy !req
1093. You want what you want
when you want it.
Copy !req
1094. I really don't think
you understand kids at all.
Copy !req
1095. You do?
Copy !req
1096. What is that supposed to mean?
Copy !req
1097. - Forget it.
- No, I won't forget it!
Copy !req
1098. How dare you tell me
how to bring up my child!
Copy !req
1099. How dare you! Where are your children?
Copy !req
1100. I know exactly what I'm doing!
Copy !req
1101. Yeah. That's why you can't
make up your mind about your kid...
Copy !req
1102. your job, Monterey, or me.
Copy !req
1103. You're wrong. I just made it up.
Copy !req
1104. Aren't you going to open the door for me?
Copy !req
1105. Come on, Tommy, get in.
Copy !req
1106. What are you going to do, walk 10 miles?
Get in, dope.
Copy !req
1107. Now what?
What do you mean, now what?
Copy !req
1108. You said we'd be in Monterey
by my birthday...
Copy !req
1109. we'd get there,
and everything would be fine.
Copy !req
1110. - We'll get there.
- Said the waitress in Tucson.
Copy !req
1111. What's wrong with being a waitress?
I'm supporting you with it, aren't I?
Copy !req
1112. - For God's sake, we'll get there.
- You never ask me what I want to do.
Copy !req
1113. Sure I do. We're in this together.
When you say so.
Copy !req
1114. Who the hell
do you think you are, buddy?
Copy !req
1115. I said we'll get there.
Copy !req
1116. If you can find a job,
if it pays more than $50 a week...
Copy !req
1117. and if you don't get involved
with another maniac.
Copy !req
1118. Who cares? I don't give a damn.
Copy !req
1119. If you open your mouth once more...
Copy !req
1120. I swear to God, I'm going to nail it shut.
Copy !req
1121. I'm warning you, Tommy. I mean it now.
Copy !req
1122. I'll stop the car and push you out,
and you'll walk the last mile home.
Copy !req
1123. All right.
Copy !req
1124. Out. Get out.
Copy !req
1125. Go. Walk.
Copy !req
1126. My dad was a bastard, all right.
Copy !req
1127. He used to make me bend over
while he whipped me with his belt.
Copy !req
1128. I still think about going up to him
and saying:
Copy !req
1129. "All right, Harry, bend over.
You're going to get the belt for that."
Copy !req
1130. Yeah, mine was a bastard, too.
Copy !req
1131. Or I guess so.
Copy !req
1132. I don't know.
Copy !req
1133. You going to be going to school
in Tucson?
Copy !req
1134. No. My mom says
we're going to Monterey.
Copy !req
1135. Monterey? You know,
you're lucky to get out of Tucson.
Copy !req
1136. The school here is weird, let me tell you.
Copy !req
1137. Mr. Emmet, the science teacher,
wears a hairnet.
Copy !req
1138. Scary. Really scary.
Copy !req
1139. Can I have some more wine?
Copy !req
1140. Tommy, are you in there?
Copy !req
1141. Tommy?
Copy !req
1142. What did I do?
Copy !req
1143. Come on, honey, let's do something.
Copy !req
1144. I don't feel so wonderful.
Copy !req
1145. Put another quarter in and try again.
Copy !req
1146. Hello? Yes?
Copy !req
1147. Is he okay?
Copy !req
1148. Thank God.
Copy !req
1149. Sure.
Copy !req
1150. Thank you.
Copy !req
1151. The market's not going to
press any charges, Mrs. Hyatt.
Copy !req
1152. - Thank God.
- They had a nice long talk with Tommy.
Copy !req
1153. He's right over there.
Copy !req
1154. - What's he wearing?
- He's got a sweatshirt on.
Copy !req
1155. He got a little sick. Here are his things.
Copy !req
1156. - He was sick?
- Too much wine.
Copy !req
1157. I see.
Copy !req
1158. You're the singing waitress?
Copy !req
1159. I'm Tommy's mother.
I'm Audrey. It's nice to meet you.
Copy !req
1160. It's nice to meet you, Audrey.
Copy !req
1161. Tell me, how did all this happen?
Copy !req
1162. It was just a big mistake.
Copy !req
1163. - Big mistake.
- Whose?
Copy !req
1164. The store's.
Copy !req
1165. Doris, come on, let's go.
Copy !req
1166. I got to go.
Copy !req
1167. Ramada Rose is upset,
so you tell Tommy I said goodbye.
Copy !req
1168. Yes, I will.
Copy !req
1169. Would you come on?
Copy !req
1170. So long, suckers!
Copy !req
1171. He's all yours.
Copy !req
1172. - Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Copy !req
1173. You look like you've been embalmed.
Copy !req
1174. What happened?
It's all right. Go back to sleep.
Copy !req
1175. What?
Copy !req
1176. Alice?
Copy !req
1177. Yeah?
You're late for work.
Copy !req
1178. I know. I'm sorry, I overslept.
Copy !req
1179. I'll be right there.
Copy !req
1180. You okay?
Copy !req
1181. Isn't David coming in today?
Copy !req
1182. You want to talk about it?
Copy !req
1183. Alice, come here, honey.
Come on. Come here.
Copy !req
1184. Come on, sugar, right now.
Copy !req
1185. Come on, honey.
Copy !req
1186. - Flo, the combinations are ready.
- Mel!
Copy !req
1187. We're going right here
and have us a little talk. Come on.
Copy !req
1188. Come on in here, Alice.
Copy !req
1189. Shut that door.
Copy !req
1190. Everything gets so screwed up.
Copy !req
1191. I know.
Copy !req
1192. I don't know. I just... I tried and...
Copy !req
1193. I don't know. I met David, and then...
Copy !req
1194. I spent all the money
I had saved to get to Monterey...
Copy !req
1195. for Tommy's birthday present.
You know, his cowboy outfit.
Copy !req
1196. I don't know. I got sidetracked, and then...
Copy !req
1197. Gosh, I was so...
Copy !req
1198. I was so scared of Donald, you know?
Copy !req
1199. I was always trying to please him.
I was so afraid not to please him.
Copy !req
1200. - You were scared of him?
- God, yes.
Copy !req
1201. And now I'm without him.
Copy !req
1202. I mean, it's like I always felt
that he was taking care of me...
Copy !req
1203. and now I just don't know what to do.
Copy !req
1204. Honey, it's nice
to have somebody take care of you.
Copy !req
1205. But he didn't.
Copy !req
1206. I just felt like he did
just because he was there.
Copy !req
1207. I don't know how to live without a man,
that's what it is.
Copy !req
1208. I want to tell you something.
Copy !req
1209. My life ain't exactly a bed of petunias.
Copy !req
1210. I got me a daughter,
cutest little thing you ever saw.
Copy !req
1211. She needs about $4,000 worth
of dental work...
Copy !req
1212. else she's going to have buck teeth.
Copy !req
1213. What am I going to do?
I ain't got any money.
Copy !req
1214. My old man...
Copy !req
1215. Honey, he ain't talked to me
since the day Kennedy got shot.
Copy !req
1216. What, did he think you had
something to do with it?
Copy !req
1217. Look at that face. Look at that body.
Copy !req
1218. Honey, the Lord blessed you with talent.
You can sing.
Copy !req
1219. I don't know about that.
You never heard me sing.
Copy !req
1220. You got to be good at it. You had a job.
Copy !req
1221. I used to be good when I was a kid.
But I'm not good anymore.
Copy !req
1222. - My voice has a wiggle in it.
- I won't bullshit you.
Copy !req
1223. You better get that wiggle out of
your voice or take up something else.
Copy !req
1224. I'm so mad at David, I could just kill him.
I really could.
Copy !req
1225. I could just kill him.
Copy !req
1226. - Sounds to me like you love him.
- No.
Copy !req
1227. I do.
Copy !req
1228. Flo, what the hell
is going on in there?
Copy !req
1229. Beat it. We'll be back in a minute.
Vera's going crazy in there!
Copy !req
1230. - Give us a minute.
- I won't give you a minute-
Copy !req
1231. Open that door again, you'll run
a 3-legged race to the undertaker.
Copy !req
1232. You don't know what's going on.
Copy !req
1233. You want to get through the day
with just Vera?
Copy !req
1234. Don't do this to me.
Copy !req
1235. Will you please tell him...
Copy !req
1236. Yeah, I know, but it's my life.
Copy !req
1237. It's not some man's life
that I'll help him out with.
Copy !req
1238. No, ma'am.
Copy !req
1239. I can't help it. That's the way I feel.
Copy !req
1240. What is it you want?
Copy !req
1241. If I knew that, I wouldn't be out here
crying in the toilet, would I?
Copy !req
1242. - Alice, have you seen this?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1243. - I made it myself.
- Did you?
Copy !req
1244. Did you ever notice what it's made out of?
Copy !req
1245. Safety pins.
Copy !req
1246. Honey, that's what holds me together.
Copy !req
1247. Now, the first thing you got to do
is figure out what you want.
Copy !req
1248. Once you know that,
you just jump in there with both feet...
Copy !req
1249. and let the devil take the hindmost.
Copy !req
1250. If David comes back,
I'll give him a bust right in the mouth.
Copy !req
1251. Mel, this is wrong.
It's supposed to have tomatoes with it.
Copy !req
1252. It's got a tomato.
No, a side.
Copy !req
1253. Quick, please take my station.
Copy !req
1254. No. You want to end up in the toilet again?
Copy !req
1255. Please.
Copy !req
1256. - No, ma'am.
- What do I say to him?
Copy !req
1257. Tell him if he wants to keep his shoes
under your bed, he better straighten up.
Copy !req
1258. Okay, I'll tell him.
Copy !req
1259. Yes? What would you like?
Copy !req
1260. I'd like to see you again.
Copy !req
1261. I'd like you and Tommy to come out
to the place.
Copy !req
1262. Or we could do whatever you want to do.
Copy !req
1263. I know it's got to be different.
Copy !req
1264. Yeah.
Copy !req
1265. I think I understand you. I want to.
Copy !req
1266. I want to try.
Copy !req
1267. Please.
Copy !req
1268. Ready on the side of tomatoes.
Copy !req
1269. God damn it, Alice, I said please.
Copy !req
1270. Well, big deal!
Copy !req
1271. What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Copy !req
1272. Just because you have good manners...
Copy !req
1273. doesn't mean
I suddenly turn into Dale Evans.
Copy !req
1274. Did I ever say that?
You don't need to.
Copy !req
1275. I want you and Tommy with me.
What the hell do you want?
Copy !req
1276. I sure as hell don't want to hear
you two fighting for the next 10 years...
Copy !req
1277. I'll tell you that.
Copy !req
1278. That's between me and Tommy.
What about you?
Copy !req
1279. I want to sing. I want to be a singer.
I am a singer.
Copy !req
1280. Anything I do from now on
has got to include that.
Copy !req
1281. How good are you?
Copy !req
1282. I'm as good as I am. That's how good I am.
Copy !req
1283. Sounds like one hell of a gamble to me.
Copy !req
1284. Sure it's worth it?
Yes.
Copy !req
1285. Yes, I am. Definitely.
Copy !req
1286. Feels like fall today.
Copy !req
1287. What about Monterey? Is that part of it?
Copy !req
1288. David, you just don't understand.
God damn it! Explain it.
Copy !req
1289. I was happy in Monterey, you dummy!
Copy !req
1290. You were a little girl in Monterey.
Copy !req
1291. You could be happy here.
Copy !req
1292. Sure.
Copy !req
1293. But I'm not gonna let anybody
stop me this time.
Copy !req
1294. Who's stopping you?
Copy !req
1295. Pack your bags. I'll take you to Monterey.
Copy !req
1296. I don't give a damn about that ranch.
Copy !req
1297. All right.
Copy !req
1298. All right?
Copy !req
1299. All right, can I have some coffee?
All right.
Copy !req
1300. When we get to Monterey,
will you let me write to Audrey?
Copy !req
1301. I think Audrey's a little mature
for you.
Copy !req
1302. I don't think she's mature.
I think she's nice.
Copy !req
1303. Mom, when are we going?
School starts in two weeks.
Copy !req
1304. Yeah, I know. Look, honey...
Copy !req
1305. I know I promised I'd get you to Monterey
before school starts.
Copy !req
1306. If I don't, Monterey isn't the only town
in this country that's got a school.
Copy !req
1307. - I might get to go to school here?
- Maybe.
Copy !req
1308. Great!
Copy !req
1309. You mean, you won't mind
if we don't get to Monterey?
Copy !req
1310. It wasn't my idea. It was your idea.
Copy !req
1311. Thank God.
Copy !req
1312. I mean, if I'm going to be a singer,
I can be a singer anywhere, right?
Copy !req
1313. You really love David, don't you?
Copy !req
1314. Yep, I do.
Copy !req
1315. I like him, too.
I just hate his taste in music.
Copy !req
1316. You always said
you could fight with somebody...
Copy !req
1317. and still like them.
Copy !req
1318. Now you're using your old noggin.
Copy !req
1319. Thanks, pal.
Copy !req
1320. My boy.
Copy !req
1321. Mom, I can't breathe.
Copy !req