1. BOSS (over P.A.
AJ, come to my office, please.
Copy !req
2. Ope!
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3. AJ, you've always been
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4. one of our best performers.
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5. We'd love to promote you
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6. to technical consultant.
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7. Yes.
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8. I-I mean, I'm flattered,
but yes.
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9. Uh, sorry, I mean no.
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10. I always get
those mixed up.
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11. But why, why, why do you insist
on staying entry-level?
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12. Don't you want to get
more out of life?
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13. A desk, like this desk,
made of real oak wood?
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14. Nah. Right now everything
is just perfect for me.
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15. I wake up at 8:30
and make myself
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16. buttered toast
with cinnamon and sugar.
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17. It's great.
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18. Then I bike to work,
which is also great
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19. 'cause and I get to wave hello
to the coffee kiosk lady.
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20. Work is good...
I like that it's easy
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21. and my heart rate stays
pretty low all day.
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22. Then I eat supper with either
my married friends or my dad.
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23. After that, I go home
and watch YouTuubé videos
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24. with my dogs until all three
of us fall asleep.
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25. Sounds pretty good.
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26. Oh, my favorite part
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27. is when I go to the dog park
with Diddy and Biff.
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28. I mean, it's kind of
just an open field
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29. so it gets
really windy there,
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30. but it is so nice.
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31. (sighs)
So, you're not ready
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32. to take over
the family business.
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33. Well, what can I say,
I'm content.
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34. Weeks, months, years...
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35. I'm happy
to just let them spread by
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36. like whipped butter.
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37. I understand, son.
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38. Thanks, Poppy-Pop.
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39. See you at supper.
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40. What the W...?
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41. What is...
What is going on?
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42. Whoa-whoa-whoa! No dogs
allowed in the blog park.
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43. But... But what?
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44. Dit-dit-dit! Just take it up
with the mayor, Bubbo.
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45. AJ:
I'm just so confused!
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46. Nobody even blogs anymore.
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47. 2004 called,
they want their blogging back.
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48. You know what, AJ,
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49. I think you should walk
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50. right up
to the mayor's office,
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51. kick down the door,
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52. and tell her exactly
what you just said.
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53. They don't even open
till 8 tomorrow.
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54. Well, then I think you
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55. should do all of that
at exactly 8:00 a.m. tomorrow.
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56. I...
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57. think I will.
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58. Mayor!
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59. Me mayor.
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60. My father, who bless the stars
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61. is still with us,
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62. told me to walk up
to your office,
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63. kick down your door,
and tell you
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64. exactly what I just said.
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65. “I'm so confused!
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66. 2004 called, they want
their blogging back.”
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67. Ah, you've seen my pet project,
the Blog Park.
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68. Ever since 2004, I've been
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69. fighting, fishing, scrapping,
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70. scraping, and sapping
to make it happen.
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71. Until finally,
the funding came through.
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72. Wait, but...
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73. And to your criticism,
"nobody blogs anymore,"
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74. heh, well, it's
a little short-sighted.
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75. Technology is cyclical,
like fashion.
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76. That's why I always wear
one bell bottom and one JNCO.
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77. What about skinny jeans?
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78. Acid wash?
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79. Need I say much more?
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80. Much more? What a chore!
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81. I abhor what you've done
to the outdoor I care for.
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82. Before
I leave through that door,
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83. I must implore:
this means war,
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84. you cultural carnivore!
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85. Don't be such bore,
you walking saddlesore.
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86. Maybe when you have the floor,
when you are may-or,
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87. the choice of what to do
with that land will be yours.
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88. And don't forget things,
comma, your.
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89. Stewp's on!
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90. Oh boy, a dish
of your patented stew soup!
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91. More stuff floating in it
than a soup, less than a stew.
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92. Just the way
you like it, buddy.
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93. Just what I need
after what's been,
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94. honestly,
a stinky couple of days.
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95. But you know what?
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96. What?
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97. I may be sad
about the dog park,
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98. but as long
the rest of my perfect life
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99. stays in place,
I think everything will be A-OK.
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100. Well, we've got
some bad news.
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101. - (leg thumps table)
- Uh, I mean good news!
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102. - (leg thumps table)
- Uh, bad news!
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103. Excuse us for a minute.
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104. Are you sure
we should tell him?
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105. What choice do we have?
It's happening tomorrow.
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106. You're right.
The happening
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107. can't un-happen,
whether we tell AJ
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108. it's happening or not.
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109. Shall we?
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110. Let's shall.
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111. Listen, sport.
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112. There's something
we got to tell you.
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113. We're moving
to San Antonio.
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114. Texas.
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115. I know it's
a lot of spit to take,
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116. but Danny got hired
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117. at a fancier architecture firm
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118. and I got hired
at a schmancier design firm.
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119. Those are our jobs.
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120. Yeah, it's gonna be hard
to leave our home,
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121. but...
AJ, are you okay?
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122. Yeah, it's okay.
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123. Go away. I understand.
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124. There's no need
to cry CG tears.
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125. We can still have
our suppers over computer.
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126. But what about the stewp?
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127. We'll ship it
to you.
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128. Media mail.
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129. You're worth it.
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130. Thank you. Thank you.
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131. Ah, thank you guys so much.
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132. You're my best friends.
It's great.
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133. Whew. What a day!
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134. But it's like the Bible says:
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135. It's important to stay calm
and keep things in perspective.
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136. Isaiah 11:16.
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137. Now let's watch
some YouTuubé videos
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138. and fall asleep.
Copy !req
139. Hey AJ, you hear about
the buttered toast recall?
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140. What am I supposed to eat
for breakfast now?
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141. Don't worry, we've got materials
for this situation.
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142. I'm real sorry to hear
about your heart rate, son.
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143. But we're strapped
around here
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144. and need to raise
the workload 4%.
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145. I just don't know
what to do.
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146. Ever since my dog park got gone,
everything's fallen apart.
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147. Up is down,
down is up,
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148. and I'm sad.
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149. I know how you feel.
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150. You do?
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151. But... you're not me.
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152. Yes, but I once found myself
in a similar situation.
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153. I was about your age...
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154. After years of happily coaching
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155. high school football,
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156. I suddenly felt... empty.
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157. Adrift.
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158. Not correct.
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159. My heart...
wasn't in it anymore.
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160. But who was I to be now, then?
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161. I wandered the town in a daze.
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162. I ended up
on the top of a hill.
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163. The beautiful plains of Fargo
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164. lay before me at magic hour.
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165. I realized
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166. what I wanted to do.
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167. And I've been doing this
ever since.
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168. Happy.
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169. So you're saying
I need to become mayor myself
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170. and get my dog park back
at all costs?
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171. I'm saying you need
to find your own way.
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172. So please, go.
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173. Take as much time
as you need.
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174. Your job will be here
when you're ready.
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175. Wow, because I'm your son?
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176. No, because you're
the main character.
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177. Me mayor.
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178. - (alert beeps)
- Ope!
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179. It's time for supper
with Morgan and Danny!
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180. - (ticking)
- Wait, wrong watch.
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181. Ha, there it is.
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182. So then I was talking to my dad
and, bless his heart,
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183. he said the only way
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184. to get my perfect life back
is becoming mayor!
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185. Whoa! How do you suppose
Mayor became mayor?
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186. She said she fought, fished,
scrapped, scraped, and sapped.
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187. Sounds like you gotta do
all those things, in order.
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188. Yep, sounds like.
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189. - (slurping)
Hey, what do
you think you're doing?
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190. I'm just talking to my friends,
Morgan and Danny.
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191. They moved out days ago.
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192. Huh?
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193. They no longer
live here anymore.
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194. Hmm.
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195. This is where me
and my family live now.
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196. What?
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197. Which means it is inappropriate
for you to be in this house!
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198. Hmph.
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199. Because your friends
no longer live here!
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200. Huh?
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201. It's okay,
we'll see ourselves out.
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202. Bye, AJ!
Copy !req
203. Okay, so the first thing
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204. is "fighting."
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205. How am I supposed to show
that I'm better
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206. at fighting than the mayor?
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207. I don't really want
to fight her...
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208. The mayor? Of course not.
Copy !req
209. History lesson time.
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210. Anybody who follows
local events...
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211. knows the mayor beat
Luciano Lorimar in the ring
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212. as part
of her election campaign.
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213. - (boxing bell rings)
- AJ: Well!
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214. You really didn't know this?
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215. It was all over the news.
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216. I believe I was playing
Mario Kart Double Dash
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217. on Gamecube at the time.
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218. Well, here's
a veet turn for ya.
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219. She won by utilizing
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220. the mythical
Carmello Elbow technique.
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221. How could I, me,
AJ learn that kinda tech?
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222. No worry.
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223. I've got a wrestling ring
in my backyard.
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224. - (boxing bell rings)
- AJ: Wow!
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225. I love how there's a photo
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226. of your current backyard
in this old book.
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227. - You rock!
- Thanks.
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228. I'll meet you there.
Copy !req
229. All right, first:
a simple reflex check.
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230. How'd I do?
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231. Not bad.
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232. It's a good sign
your head didn't fly off.
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233. Now you do me.
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234. Need I say much more?
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235. How'd you get so good
at fighting, anyway?
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236. That's...
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237. a story for another time.
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238. What time?
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239. 3:30 p.m., central.
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240. That's a story
I'll only answer
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241. at 3:30 p.m. central.
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242. Oh, well, thanks
for telling me twice
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243. so I don't forget.
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244. Uh, when are we gonna learn
the, uhh...
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245. Carmen Sandiego technique?
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246. Not yet.
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247. We got to train
your physical form,
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248. and rigorously.
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249. Let's begin.
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250. To master
the Carmello Elbow technique
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251. you must become...
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252. (echoing)
your elbow.
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253. Bend your mind.
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254. Bend your soul.
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255. Bend your elbow.
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256. Pain.
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257. Fear.
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258. Uncertainty.
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259. They all bend.
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260. (whispers)
Elbow.
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261. Elbow.
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262. Elbow.
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263. Whaddya think?
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264. I think
you'd make more progress
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265. if you'd stop
changing clothes
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266. and tearing days off
the calendar.
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267. But it's not bad
for a first day.
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268. Hey, we have
this reserved for 6:30.
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269. Oh, sorry.
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270. Could you clean
all that up please?
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271. Well, that was pretty fun.
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272. I guess I'll go home
and get some rest.
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273. AJ, you're gonna need
to really commit
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274. if you want to beat Luciano
and become mayor.
Copy !req
275. So you're saying I should
take my work home with me.
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276. No, I'm saying you got to bring
your home to your work.
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277. So you're saying to make
my work my home, within me.
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278. I'm saying, take
your you home, to your work.
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279. And that's the story
of how I got my new bed.
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280. What happens after that?
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281. I feel like
we're gonna need more.
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282. It feels like we're only
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283. in act two at this point.
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284. Really, you want more?
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285. Don't you think
it's getting kinda tiresome?
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286. We're already sitting here...
the least you could do
Copy !req
287. is justify our investment.
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288. I'm trying
to reserve my judgment
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289. till I experience
the final work.
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290. Oh. Well, that... is... great!
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291. Uh, because there's a lot more,
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292. and it actually only gets
more compelling!
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293. (laughing)
I was just bluffing!
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294. All right.
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295. And several weeks later...
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296. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
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297. I know what you're thinking.
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298. Why haven't
we watched YouTuubé lately?
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299. Where's
the buttered toast?
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300. It's really sad to me too,
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301. but I'm working really hard
to get it all back.
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302. I'm not
just gonna start watching
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303. something other than YouTuubé
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304. or eating buttered,
like, bagels?
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305. That's cute.
See, that's why I'm the human
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306. and you're the dogs.
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307. I know what's best.
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308. Well,
today's your big day.
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309. Yep.
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310. After tons of training,
I'm finally ready
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311. to perform...
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312. Oh, no.
Today is the big fight.
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313. - It's right now.
- Wha...?
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314. - What?
- (crowd cheering)
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315. What...?
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316. Right here?
In my bed?
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317. In this ecoboddy?
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318. Okay, yeah, I'm really sorry,
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319. we were trying to connect up,
him and I,
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320. and his schedule
and our schedule,
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321. and we were trying
to coordinate,
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322. and he had this thing
with his aunt,
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323. but he's really only available
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324. right here, right now.
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325. Mm. I will defeat
Luciano Lorimar
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326. whenever he shows up.
Copy !req
327. About that.
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328. (gasps)
Whoa-whoa-whoa, wait.
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329. So you trained me
this whole time
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330. to beat... you?
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331. It's not that simple.
Copy !req
332. I was born
to a hard-working family
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333. who owned 600 acres
of farmland.
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334. We grew
a simple crop: hazelnuts.
Copy !req
335. My strict parents started me
young scything the fields.
Copy !req
336. They worked me to the bone,
preventing me
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337. from seeing other kids
or even going to school.
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338. Father had
the only education I needed...
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339. or so they said.
Copy !req
340. But dog gone it,
those were good times.
Copy !req
341. My family was close,
especially me and my dad.
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342. I grew to understand
he loved me, in his way.
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343. Over time,
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344. I began to love him back.
Copy !req
345. Then something happened
that none of us
Copy !req
346. could have predicted:
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347. the rise of sweetened
hazelnut cocoa spreads.
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348. Suddenly we went
from a humble bumper crop
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349. to an unstoppable behemoth.
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350. Soon we traded in
our little cabin for a mansion
Copy !req
351. bigger than anything
I'd ever seen.
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352. We had everything
we ever wanted.
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353. I ate truffled caviar
every night,
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354. and slept in a bed
the size of a giraffe.
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355. However, my father,
through all this success,
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356. retreated into himself.
Copy !req
357. He grew sick in the mind,
refusing to leave his study.
Copy !req
358. One night I tried to help him.
Copy !req
359. I wanted so desperately
to tell him it was okay,
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360. to thank him for being tough
on me back then.
Copy !req
361. But...
Copy !req
362. That was the last time
I saw any of them.
Copy !req
363. With nothing but three
hazelnuts in my pocket,
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364. I hopped the trains
until I ended up here in Fargo.
Copy !req
365. Away from my family,
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366. away from my hazelnuts,
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367. I had no idea how to be.
Copy !req
368. I wandered the town in a daze.
Copy !req
369. Realizing my surprising
elbow strength,
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370. which surely came
from my years behind a scythe,
Copy !req
371. was all I had.
Copy !req
372. I decided to open
an community gym
Copy !req
373. in my backyard.
Copy !req
374. Needing funds
to finish construction,
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375. I took a handshake deal
with the mayor:
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376. take the fall
in a highly-publicized battle,
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377. and she'd provide me
with everything I needed:
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378. house, wife, kids.
Copy !req
379. As I hit the ground,
it felt...
Copy !req
380. familiar.
Copy !req
381. Everything finally made sense
in that moment.
Copy !req
382. Ever since,
I've been chasing that high.
Copy !req
383. But no opponent
was ever strong enough...
Copy !req
384. until now.
Copy !req
385. Okay, well,
that's a pretty long story
Copy !req
386. but it does sound like
it is that simple.
Copy !req
387. You coulda nutshelled it!
Copy !req
388. Nutshell...
Copy !req
389. Let's rumble, AJ.
Copy !req
390. Don't forget
what this is for.
Copy !req
391. What it's for...
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392. Very well.
Copy !req
393. Play ball!
Copy !req
394. Come on, AJ.
Copy !req
395. Do it.
Copy !req
396. I...
Copy !req
397. I...
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398. You've trained
for this moment!
Copy !req
399. Punish me!
Copy !req
400. Aw, yeah,
Copy !req
401. that's the good stuff.
Copy !req
402. Yum.
Copy !req
403. AJ wins!
Copy !req
404. Mayor,
you're gonna want to see this.
Copy !req
405. You were right
to bring this to me.
Copy !req
406. (scoffs) How else
would I have known
Copy !req
407. that Dick Tracy
infiltrated
Copy !req
408. the Lunarian base
in Antarctica.
Copy !req
409. No, sorry. The other side.
Copy !req
410. Oh, that's much more notable.
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411. Mayor.
Copy !req
412. Keep an eye
on this so-called AJ.
Copy !req
413. Yes, Mayor.
Copy !req
414. - AJ: Well, that's fighting down.
- (dial-up Internet warbling)
Copy !req
415. Guess we got to go
with fishing next.
Copy !req
416. All right, what do I need
for fishing?
Copy !req
417. Boat?
Copy !req
418. Boat.
Copy !req
419. Boat?
Copy !req
420. Boat.
Copy !req
421. Aye. The mayor
campaigned with gusto,
Copy !req
422. but only managed to catch
the second biggest fish
Copy !req
423. in this here briny basin.
Copy !req
424. That's lucky.
Copy !req
425. But if you're to catch it,
it'll take strength,
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426. honor, courage, valor,
guts, confidence, glory,
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427. fortitude, integrity,
nerve, pluck,
Copy !req
428. and maybe
if there's time, moxie, heh.
Copy !req
429. Well, don't worry,
Captain uh...
Copy !req
430. - Seastab.
- Ah, Captain Seastab.
Copy !req
431. I learned a lot of that
in my last thing, so...
Copy !req
432. Perfect!
So here we sit!
Copy !req
433. Here we fish...
Copy !req
434. for as long as it takes.
Copy !req
435. As long as it takes.
Copy !req
436. Heat signature detected.
Copy !req
437. Closing in on target.
Copy !req
438. Smoke 'em.
Copy !req
439. Is this...?
Captain, is that...?
Copy !req
440. It's a fish!
Copy !req
441. (laughing)
Keep pullin'!
Copy !req
442. Yank on, boy!
Yank on!
Copy !req
443. - Oh, no.
- AJ: What?
Copy !req
444. We've danger
coming leeward!
Copy !req
445. Hide!
Copy !req
446. Greetings.
Copy !req
447. Happy banyan,
officers.
Copy !req
448. We're looking for a guy
that looks like this guy.
Copy !req
449. Very dangerous type.
Have you seen him?
Copy !req
450. Don't see much
from this skipjack these days.
Copy !req
451. Just me
and these open freshed waters.
Copy !req
452. Hey, show some respect,
Copy !req
453. look him in the eye
when he talks to you.
Copy !req
454. I can look ye in the eye,
but fair warning.
Copy !req
455. I've seen things.
Copy !req
456. These eyes contain
Copy !req
457. multitudes of memories.
Copy !req
458. Dreams and nightmares,
and nightmares of nightmares,
Copy !req
459. of scenes seen in many times,
in many worlds.
Copy !req
460. These eyes will change ye,
and ye'll never be the same!
Copy !req
461. He's clean.
Copy !req
462. Over and out.
Copy !req
463. The coast is clear.
Copy !req
464. Phew, that was a close one!
Copy !req
465. What's with the giant coat?
Copy !req
466. What coat?
Copy !req
467. AJ: What a beautiful night
this is.
Copy !req
468. What do you see when you look
Copy !req
469. up at the stars?
Copy !req
470. I see...
Copy !req
471. an old friend.
Copy !req
472. Sea-date...
Copy !req
473. present day.
Copy !req
474. We've been aboard
this vessel so long,
Copy !req
475. my beard
has grown its own beard.
Copy !req
476. Still no sign of the longest
fish, but we shan't give up.
Copy !req
477. I can smell it
getting nearer.
Copy !req
478. - (cell phone ringing)
- Oh!
Copy !req
479. Ope! Uh, do you have
a computer I could use?
Copy !req
480. - Yes.
- (computer phone ringing)
Copy !req
481. AJ, it's been ages!
Copy !req
482. Hey, Morgo.
Hey, Dango. What's new?
Copy !req
483. Well, we have a son now.
Copy !req
484. Meet AJ Jr.
Copy !req
485. Named after his godfather.
Copy !req
486. Hi, AJ. I'm AJ.
Copy !req
487. How's it going?
Copy !req
488. Holy moly!
Seastab, help!
Copy !req
489. Reel, me boy!
Reel, reel in!
Copy !req
490. I'm trying!
Copy !req
491. My apologies, but this fish
is simply not large.
Copy !req
492. (scoffs)
Well, that's dumb!
Copy !req
493. AJ...
Copy !req
494. I'm starting
to see myself in you.
Copy !req
495. That's cool, right?
Copy !req
496. (sighs)
Let me tell you a story.
Copy !req
497. Before I was Captain Seastab,
Copy !req
498. I was Francis Bishop,
family man.
Copy !req
499. I lived a pleasant, simple life
catching fish by day
Copy !req
500. and catching kisses
from my family by night.
Copy !req
501. But somehow,
the happiness became...
Copy !req
502. routine.
Copy !req
503. I started to become...
Copy !req
504. snappish.
Copy !req
505. I once had looked at
my fellow seamen with kindness,
Copy !req
506. but now I saw them
as competition.
Copy !req
507. Why did they catch
more fish than me?
Copy !req
508. I deserved more fish,
bigger fish, than them.
Copy !req
509. It consumed me.
Copy !req
510. Suddenly, it wasn't enough
to be a seaman.
Copy !req
511. I had to be the best seaman,
or nothing.
Copy !req
512. The darkness in me grew
and grew...
Copy !req
513. I wandered the town in a daze.
Copy !req
514. Nothing was enough.
Copy !req
515. A hole in me heart
manifested in front of me.
Copy !req
516. I just kept fishing.
Copy !req
517. I just kept fishing.
Copy !req
518. I just kept fishing.
Copy !req
519. I just kept fishing.
Copy !req
520. I didn't know where I was
or how much time had passed,
Copy !req
521. but suddenly
I saw everything with clarity.
Copy !req
522. My primal human instinct
for more had destroyed my life.
Copy !req
523. I could never see
my family again.
Copy !req
524. To this day,
I don't know if I'm in reality
Copy !req
525. or an endless
Sisyphean hell.
Copy !req
526. Wow, seems like you learned
a great lesson.
Copy !req
527. Do you think it...
Copy !req
528. might be relevant to you
in any way?
Copy !req
529. Not that I can think of.
Copy !req
530. (scoffs)
It's probably nothing.
Copy !req
531. Hot sauce!
Copy !req
532. Phew!
Copy !req
533. I think
this is the big one!
Copy !req
534. Yes, but at what cost?
Copy !req
535. Oh, wow, what a scoop!
Copy !req
536. Lookit the size
of that pesce!
Copy !req
537. Surely that's larger
than the mayor's, I'd say!
Copy !req
538. Ey, swim off,
this is my scoop!
Copy !req
539. Hey, what can I say,
news travels fast,
Copy !req
540. fast enough for two papes!
Copy !req
541. They both have
basically the same headline.
Copy !req
542. Yes, I suppose
news travels fast.
Copy !req
543. Evidently, enough
for two papes.
Copy !req
544. Well, I say patooie!
Copy !req
545. You two aides knew
Copy !req
546. there was still a big honker
in that lake,
Copy !req
547. and you didn't stop
that AJ from catching it.
Copy !req
548. - So sorry, Miss Mayor.
- I swear we tried.
Copy !req
549. We just couldn't clock him,
Miss Mayor.
Copy !req
550. For those of us
keeping track,
Copy !req
551. he is a mere
three steps away
Copy !req
552. from taking my mayor seat.
Copy !req
553. Scrapping, scraping,
and sapping.
Copy !req
554. This is
your last chance, aides.
Copy !req
555. I want him off
the chess board, understand?
Copy !req
556. Show me!
Copy !req
557. Uh, which one is AJ?
Copy !req
558. Don't ask
stupid questions.
Copy !req
559. Yes, you got it!
Copy !req
560. Yes, yes, yes!
Copy !req
561. Yahoo!
Copy !req
562. Wa-wa-wa-hoo!
Copy !req
563. Yippee!
- Wahoo!
Copy !req
564. - Yip-yipee!
- Yipee!
Copy !req
565. Wahoo!
Copy !req
566. - Yipee!
- Ya-yahoo!
Copy !req
567. Ya-yahoo!
Copy !req
568. Wahhh!
Copy !req
569. (yawns)
Oh, man.
Copy !req
570. I slept
like a chess piece.
Copy !req
571. All right, pups,
just three things left.
Copy !req
572. “Scrapping,"scraping,"
“sapping.”
Copy !req
573. Heh. Thank you.
Copy !req
574. Hey, so those next two,
Copy !req
575. I'm not really sure
what to do there.
Copy !req
576. They sound pretty similar.
Copy !req
577. Mmm.
“Scrapping and scraping”?
Copy !req
578. They're meant
to be different, right?
Copy !req
579. Hey.
Copy !req
580. You're AJ, correct?
Copy !req
581. We saw you
in the newspapers.
Copy !req
582. We're big fans,
and not bad guy.
Copy !req
583. - May we?
- Ah, bonjour.
Copy !req
584. We're here to help with
the next steps in your journey.
Copy !req
585. Scrapping and scraping, both.
Copy !req
586. That sounds
awfully convenient.
Copy !req
587. What kind of qualifications
do you have?
Copy !req
588. Have you read our shirts?
Copy !req
589. Well, how about that!
Copy !req
590. Welcome to the team!
Copy !req
591. Let's make some magic happen.
Copy !req
592. Now that the pleasantries
are out of the way, shall we?
Copy !req
593. Let's shall.
Copy !req
594. AJ:
Man, this is gonna be great.
Copy !req
595. This is exactly what I need.
Copy !req
596. Knocking out two
with one, pshh, easy.
Copy !req
597. Huh?
Sorry, I couldn't hear you
Copy !req
598. over the sound of me
polishing my gun.
Copy !req
599. Polishing your gun?
Copy !req
600. Oh, sorry, I meant to say...
Copy !req
601. sloshing my gum.
Copy !req
602. I was distracted
by polishing my gun.
Copy !req
603. Polishing your gun?
Copy !req
604. Nope, sorry, I meant to say...
Copy !req
605. polishing... my go...
Copy !req
606. I mean
not polishing my gun.
Copy !req
607. AJ:
Is she polishing a gun?
Copy !req
608. AJ: You know what,
guys, it's funny.
Copy !req
609. I think
this is the first time
Copy !req
610. I've just been able
to sit back, take a breather
Copy !req
611. throughout this whole thing.
Copy !req
612. Isn't that weird?
Copy !req
613. I don't know, I've just...
I've been so focused
Copy !req
614. on just, you know,
getting my dog park back.
Copy !req
615. (sighs)
It's curious.
Copy !req
616. I like it.
Copy !req
617. I like just dedicating
all my time to one goal.
Copy !req
618. I like having a purpose.
Copy !req
619. (sighs) Sorry, I'm kinda
rambling a little bit.
Copy !req
620. I just feel really
at ease right now, you know?
Copy !req
621. Yeah, thanks again, guys.
Copy !req
622. It's so cool
to just be out here,
Copy !req
623. alive, jammin' out with ya.
Copy !req
624. - Kneel here.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Copy !req
625. (grunts)
It's really cool
Copy !req
626. that you blindfolded me too,
Copy !req
627. it's like a little vacation
for me.
Copy !req
628. I don't even know
how long it's been.
Copy !req
629. (scoffs) It's so close though,
I can taste it.
Copy !req
630. Mm. Once I'm mayor,
Copy !req
631. everything's gonna be great.
Copy !req
632. Guys, you, uh, you scrappin'
and scrapin' out there okay?
Copy !req
633. Uh, is this good trembling
I'm feeling?
Copy !req
634. I can't do it!
Copy !req
635. Phew, thank God!
Copy !req
636. I was seriously
about to stop you.
Copy !req
637. I don't wanna be doing this!
Copy !req
638. Wait a second...
Copy !req
639. You're those suit people!
Copy !req
640. - You are bad guy!
- Whoa, AJ.
Copy !req
641. It's a bit more complicated
than that.
Copy !req
642. You see, the words
you just said,
Copy !req
643. well, they spoke volumes.
Copy !req
644. Hit us to the core.
Copy !req
645. Put things in sharp relief.
Copy !req
646. Completely rocked
our worldview.
Copy !req
647. It was like...
Copy !req
648. seeing The Matrix (1999)
for the first time.
Copy !req
649. Love that video.
Copy !req
650. You know, AJ...
Copy !req
651. I think we should tell you
how we ended up here.
Copy !req
652. I too think we should tell you
how we ended up here.
Copy !req
653. I had an ordinary childhood
Copy !req
654. on a farm outside Fargo.
Copy !req
655. You could say
I was a normal kid,
Copy !req
656. even an uninteresting one.
Copy !req
657. I tended to hover
around the background,
Copy !req
658. unacknowledged by others.
Copy !req
659. This lead me
to be a weak-willed type,
Copy !req
660. so I was quick
to fall into a bad crowd
Copy !req
661. as I grew older.
Copy !req
662. It wasn't long before I got
into trouble and ended up...
Copy !req
663. - in military academy.
- in Catholic school.
Copy !req
664. Against all odds, I flourished.
Copy !req
665. Sorry,
could I stop you a second?
Copy !req
666. Did you guys ever wander
the town in a daze
Copy !req
667. for like a little bit, or...?
Copy !req
668. - I don't... I think maybe?
- I guess I don't remember.
Copy !req
669. Huh. Okay, okay.
Copy !req
670. Anyway, after graduating
with near perfect marks,
Copy !req
671. I applied for an assistant gig
with the mayor.
Copy !req
672. And I found
unexpected camaraderie
Copy !req
673. in my first
real friend...
Copy !req
674. - ... him.
- ... her.
Copy !req
675. We spent so many
late nights working there,
Copy !req
676. but it didn't even matter
because we had so much fun.
Copy !req
677. And then one day,
hot out of nowhere,
Copy !req
678. like a bat out of hell,
it happened.
Copy !req
679. What on earth?
Copy !req
680. Was this allowed?
Copy !req
681. It felt like
we had invented it.
Copy !req
682. So, apparently what
we did is called “kissing.”
Copy !req
683. So there's precedent!
Copy !req
684. And I'm not seeing anything
in here
Copy !req
685. that says it's illegal.
Copy !req
686. Goodness, gracious.
Copy !req
687. Should...
Copy !req
688. Should we do it again?
Copy !req
689. Yes, I believe
we should.
Copy !req
690. In fact, I think we'll do it
every day from here on out.
Copy !req
691. Hooray!
Copy !req
692. Life progressed as usual,
Copy !req
693. but... different.
Copy !req
694. We kept doing
the mayor's bidding,
Copy !req
695. but something had changed.
Copy !req
696. Y'know, I thought I enjoyed
Copy !req
697. having structure in my life,
Copy !req
698. but I'm realizing I just liked
Copy !req
699. being told what to do.
Copy !req
700. It felt freeing
Copy !req
701. to give control
to someone else,
Copy !req
702. like there was less chaos
in this life.
Copy !req
703. But...
it wasn't real.
Copy !req
704. From now on, the only person
Copy !req
705. I want telling me
what to do is...
Copy !req
706. you.
Copy !req
707. Hearing you speak
about your feelings, AJ,
Copy !req
708. I realized we have
so much in common.
Copy !req
709. Yeah, you're just
another people, like us.
Copy !req
710. With your own struggles
and needs.
Copy !req
711. And thinking
about it now,
Copy !req
712. you may not deserve
to die
Copy !req
713. for wanting
your dog park back.
Copy !req
714. You were gonna kill me?
Copy !req
715. Whoa, “gonna”
is a strong word.
Copy !req
716. I think the important thing is
that we didn't.
Copy !req
717. Hey, I agree.
Copy !req
718. Let's pivot to what
we're “gonna” do now, huh?
Copy !req
719. You put that in my words
and now I'm calm.
Copy !req
720. But this puts
dog park plans in flux!
Copy !req
721. Hey, what am I gonna do
about scraping and scrapping?
Copy !req
722. Unless you just lied
about working for the mayor,
Copy !req
723. and you're actually fully
licensed scrapers and scrappers?
Copy !req
724. Oh, no,
we are definitely licensed.
Copy !req
725. It was part of
our mayoral aide training.
Copy !req
726. Well, that...
That feels pretty specific.
Copy !req
727. Well, that might feel like
it seems pretty specific,
Copy !req
728. but the mayor
has to beef up her resume
Copy !req
729. and make it
roll off the tongue.
Copy !req
730. “Fighting, fishing, scrapping,
scraping, and sapping”?
Copy !req
731. Now, that sounds good.
Copy !req
732. That sounds like something
that could sustain us
Copy !req
733. through the second act
of a movie.
Copy !req
734. Well, “sustain”
is kind of a strong word.
Copy !req
735. I now pronounce you
Copy !req
736. the best scrapper
and scraper in town.
Copy !req
737. You may kiss
the bride.
Copy !req
738. Uh, you two wouldn't
be able to do this
Copy !req
739. for the "sapping" part,
would you?
Copy !req
740. Nah, you're gonna have
to do that one up for real.
Copy !req
741. Ope, here's my stop.
Copy !req
742. We have some documents
at our place
Copy !req
743. that might help.
Copy !req
744. Here it is.
Copy !req
745. Well, it looks like
the mayor found out
Copy !req
746. we're on AJ's side now.
Copy !req
747. Ahhh, that's the stuff!
Copy !req
748. You! Aides! Bad!
Copy !req
749. Betrayers! Bad!
Copy !req
750. Whew, well, I'm glad she didn't
say anything about me.
Copy !req
751. And you, AJ,
Copy !req
752. the bespectacled demon
who has conspired
Copy !req
753. to take everything from me.
Copy !req
754. You are more bad than bad.
Copy !req
755. And you're certainly
not “so bad it's good,”
Copy !req
756. as I get no ironic pleasure
from you whatsoever.
Copy !req
757. You, AJ, are atrocious!
Copy !req
758. Atrocious, maybe,
Copy !req
759. but at least
I wasn't just on fire.
Copy !req
760. (gasps)
That's a low blow.
Copy !req
761. Listen. Mayor.
Copy !req
762. There's still a chance
to end this rivalry.
Copy !req
763. Just give me
my dog park back
and it'll all be over.
Copy !req
764. Okay. Okay, now that
was “so bad it's good.”
Copy !req
765. That was so charming
it's like outsider art.
Copy !req
766. No, I don't think
I'll be giving away
Copy !req
767. my Blog Park anytime soon.
Copy !req
768. (scoffs) And I will be ending
this rivalry...
Copy !req
769. tomorrow,
at the Fargo Sapfest.
Copy !req
770. I'll sap the shit out of you
and then this'll all be over.
Copy !req
771. Heh. Bye-bye.
Copy !req
772. Don't take this
the wrong way,
Copy !req
773. but don't you have
your own place?
Copy !req
774. No time for that.
Copy !req
775. (sniffs)
Sapping tomorrow.
Copy !req
776. (yawns)
It all comes down to...
Copy !req
777. this.
Copy !req
778. What?
Copy !req
779. I couldn't think
of a good rhyme.
Copy !req
780. Besides,
he's asleep.
Copy !req
781. Good point.
Copy !req
782. He won't remember.
Copy !req
783. Let's go to bed, too.
Copy !req
784. AJ: I will never forget
that bad rhyme
Copy !req
785. as long as I draw breath.
Copy !req
786. Well, AJ, how do you feel?
Copy !req
787. Yeah, pretty good,
except for I have no idea
Copy !req
788. how to sap a tree, so...
Copy !req
789. That's okay,
there are a bunch of tutorials
Copy !req
790. on YouTuubé, see?
Copy !req
791. What's up, guys?
Copy !req
792. It looks like this year
is gonna be a great year
Copy !req
793. for the Taps and Tubes
community.
Copy !req
794. I'm SapperFlash45,
Copy !req
795. and this video is a tutorial
Copy !req
796. to take you through
the best ways
Copy !req
797. to sap your trees
Copy !req
798. with all the latest
announced taps.
Copy !req
799. If you want the full
sap tutorials
Copy !req
800. with no ad breaks,
don't forget
Copy !req
801. to become
a Super Sap supporter...
Copy !req
802. which leads us
to this video's sponsor:
Copy !req
803. Legends of Railguns.
Copy !req
804. This is a free to download,
free to play,
Copy !req
805. mobile tower defense game.
Copy !req
806. And if you sign up now
with the code “TreeSapper,”
Copy !req
807. you can get
20 free cyber diamonds!
Copy !req
808. Welcome sap fans
Copy !req
809. and enthusiasts
of the AJ/Mayor rivalry alike
Copy !req
810. to this year's
Fargo Sapfest!
Copy !req
811. As you all know, our sappers
will have five minutes
Copy !req
812. to sap as much sap
as possible.
Copy !req
813. Whoever saps
the most sap...
Copy !req
814. By volume,
not by weight...
Copy !req
815. will be the winner
of today's Sapfest,
Copy !req
816. and by ancient Fargo law,
our mayor.
Copy !req
817. In this corner,
you know her, you fear her,
Copy !req
818. the bodacious bringer
of our burgeoning blog park...
Copy !req
819. The mayor!
Copy !req
820. And in this corner,
the sultan of brown hair,
Copy !req
821. the kaiser of glasses,
the baron of ordinary build...
Copy !req
822. AJ!
Copy !req
823. All right, fellas,
Copy !req
824. I want a good clean fight.
Copy !req
825. That is speaking morally,
of course we all expect
Copy !req
826. to get very dirty physically.
Copy !req
827. Audience, please apply
the sap-guards we provided.
Copy !req
828. And may the best mayor win.
Copy !req
829. First blood!
Copy !req
830. Come on, come on. Mwah.
Copy !req
831. But of course,
one tree won't cut it.
Copy !req
832. No, sir, nor no, ma'am.
Copy !req
833. It's neck and neck!
Copy !req
834. Ahhh!
Copy !req
835. Well said, and I agree.
Copy !req
836. You might as well
give up now.
Copy !req
837. Why?
Copy !req
838. Because I want you to.
Copy !req
839. And I'm tired.
Copy !req
840. Well, that's too bad,
Copy !req
841. because I've got
a secret weapon.
Copy !req
842. - What's that?
- This!
Copy !req
843. Oh, no! Is that allowed?
Copy !req
844. There ain't nothing
in the rulebook
Copy !req
845. that says no pushing.
Copy !req
846. Wow, that seems like
Copy !req
847. a pretty big
oversight, honestly.
Copy !req
848. This is the worst Sapfest
since '93.
Copy !req
849. Don't give up.
Copy !req
850. It's your time,
little seaswab.
Copy !req
851. I believe in you, son.
Copy !req
852. Just one last push, slugger.
Copy !req
853. Hey, I'm you.
Copy !req
854. Well, after seeing
ghostly visages
Copy !req
855. of people who are mostly
a few hundred yards away,
Copy !req
856. AJ is back on his feet
and out for blood... I mean sap.
Copy !req
857. While he was
on the ground, the mayor got
Copy !req
858. all the remaining
trees except one.
Copy !req
859. It's a dead heat
and a dead lock.
Copy !req
860. Whoever gets the most sap from
this tree will be the new mayor.
Copy !req
861. I can hardly keep
my ass alive!
Copy !req
862. Drip for me! Drip!
Copy !req
863. Come on, come on!
Copy !req
864. Momma needs a new pair
Copy !req
865. of still being the mayor!
Copy !req
866. I guess it was all for naught,
Copy !req
867. you pathetic waste of life!
Copy !req
868. (laughs) Why don't you go
fucking die,
Copy !req
869. you worm, you nothing!
Copy !req
870. Jeez.
Copy !req
871. AJ:
Come on, think, think.
Copy !req
872. Is there anything I can do
to even the scales?
Copy !req
873. Anything I've learned
during my journey
Copy !req
874. that might be useful? Huh...
Copy !req
875. God, it makes my elbow itch
just thinking about it.
Copy !req
876. Wait... elbow!
Copy !req
877. Yeah, that's my elbow.
Copy !req
878. That's my son.
Copy !req
879. - She's gonna blow!
- Take cover!
Copy !req
880. AJ wins!
Copy !req
881. And he is the winner!
Copy !req
882. Sorry,
but town law dictates
Copy !req
883. that you must now give up
your mayor seat
Copy !req
884. and accept the 2nd place prize
of a hundred million dollars.
Copy !req
885. Three cheers for our new mayor!
Copy !req
886. Hip-hip, AJ!
Hip-hip, AJ!
Copy !req
887. Hip-hip, AJ!
Hip-hip, AJ!
Copy !req
888. Mayor.
- Please, call me Mayor.
Copy !req
889. Would you like to see
today's mayorialy reports?
Copy !req
890. Your mayorialy
buttered toast, sir?
Copy !req
891. Aides, aides, please.
Copy !req
892. You've worked enough.
Copy !req
893. I insist
you take a vacation.
Copy !req
894. Here, I got you
Hawaii tickets.
Copy !req
895. Wow. Thanks, Mayor AJ.
Copy !req
896. But what
are you gonna do?
Copy !req
897. Well, something
Copy !req
898. I've been wanting
to do for a long time.
Copy !req
899. Excuse me, ma'am,
what year is it?
Copy !req
900. What a funny question,
Mayor AJ.
Copy !req
901. Why, it's 2039 of course!
Copy !req
902. It's been 15 years.
Copy !req
903. No!
Copy !req
904. Me old! Me scared!
Copy !req
905. Oh, Papa!
Copy !req
906. What of Papa?
Copy !req
907. Pop... Oh, Papa!
You're all right.
Copy !req
908. Not exactly, son.
Copy !req
909. I have some bad news.
Copy !req
910. That's right,
I've gotten into
Copy !req
911. custom stone etching
and engraving.
Copy !req
912. Take a close look.
Copy !req
913. That doesn't seem
like bad news.
Copy !req
914. Sorry,
I meant good news.
Copy !req
915. I always get
those two mixed up.
Copy !req
916. Oh, Dad,
you gotta help me!
Copy !req
917. I can't find my pups!
Copy !req
918. Well, when I've
not paid attention to someone
Copy !req
919. for 15 years, I usually
look them up on social media.
Copy !req
920. How to social media!
Copy !req
921. Normally, I'd cozy up
at the ol' blog park
Copy !req
922. and social media
on one of their rigs,
Copy !req
923. but since
that's not an option,
Copy !req
924. I suppose
you could use the library.
Copy !req
925. To the library I go.
Copy !req
926. Just in case.
Copy !req
927. And that is the story of
how I ended up at the library.
Copy !req
928. Huh.
Dang, they went to college.
Copy !req
929. I got what I needed,
Copy !req
930. but this would be
a lot better in open-air.
Copy !req
931. What did I tell ya?
Copy !req
932. Gah! Mayor!
Copy !req
933. Why aren't you
15 years older like me?
Copy !req
934. Because we saw
each other last week.
Copy !req
935. Well, why aren't you
still trying to kill me?
Copy !req
936. Ha ha ha!
Oh, AJ.
Copy !req
937. After it was all done,
I realized I was substituting
Copy !req
938. having a goal for being
a fully formed person.
Copy !req
939. And you left all those people
behind in the process.
Copy !req
940. We're not so not similar,
you and I.
Copy !req
941. AJ, I want to help you.
Copy !req
942. You're saying you want
to team up,
Copy !req
943. like Sandman and Venom
in Spider-Man 3 (2007)?
Copy !req
944. I've never seen that video.
Copy !req
945. Diddy? Biff? Diddy? Biff?
Copy !req
946. AJ, look!
Copy !req
947. Come in.
Copy !req
948. I'm here, my babies!
Copy !req
949. You just missed them.
Copy !req
950. Zuh-whuh?
Copy !req
951. They're headed
to the airport
Copy !req
952. to study abroad
in Prague this semester.
Copy !req
953. No. Nooo!
Copy !req
954. Uh, you don't
recognize me?
Copy !req
955. I dunno,
you're some dumb kid
Copy !req
956. with stupid brown hair
and four gorgeous eyes.
Copy !req
957. Oh. AJ, I'm your godson,
AJ Jr.
Copy !req
958. Oh, my God!
Copy !req
959. Why do you look like me
instead of Danny or Morgan?
Copy !req
960. Well, I styled myself off
of vintage Polaroids of you.
Copy !req
961. Heh. I thought
you were cool, but...
Copy !req
962. you left Diddy and Biff
all alone for so long.
Copy !req
963. They were without
a father figure for years.
Copy !req
964. In other words,
I plan to eventually get around
Copy !req
965. to changing
my physical appearance
Copy !req
966. to something
more like my parents.
Copy !req
967. Maybe after finals...
Copy !req
968. No, please!
Copy !req
969. I want to make it right!
Copy !req
970. He wants
to make it right.
Copy !req
971. Thanks
for the backup, Mayor.
Copy !req
972. Okay, but you've
only got one chance.
Copy !req
973. May I?
Copy !req
974. Learned this
from my grand-god-dad.
Copy !req
975. If you hurry, you'll catch them
before their flight.
Copy !req
976. Hey, AJ Jr.
Copy !req
977. I'm a sorry.
Copy !req
978. You are?
Copy !req
979. Yes, I am one sorry.
Copy !req
980. Those aren't my dogs,
that's just two hot dogs.
Copy !req
981. I assumed we were talking about
two hot dogs this whole time.
Copy !req
982. What? Does that mean
you think dog parks
Copy !req
983. are for hot d...
You know what, never mind.
Copy !req
984. We don't have time for this,
we'll unpack that later!
Copy !req
985. Tickets please?
Copy !req
986. (gasps) Oh.
Copy !req
987. Carry on.
Copy !req
988. Mom, the mayors were here.
Copy !req
989. No, I didn't.
Copy !req
990. No. Is Dad still alive?
Copy !req
991. Hey, don't forget
your shoes.
Copy !req
992. (sighs)
Darn George W. Bush.
Copy !req
993. Not my president.
Copy !req
994. There they are!
Copy !req
995. Ah, dang,
we're too late.
Copy !req
996. AJ, look closer.
Copy !req
997. Diddy, Biff!
Copy !req
998. I barely recognized you!
Copy !req
999. Oh, man, guys.
Copy !req
1000. Age has just ravaged
your little cherubic faces.
Copy !req
1001. Heh.
But I'm one to talk, right?
Copy !req
1002. Oh. But I have some good news.
Copy !req
1003. We got our dog park back!
Copy !req
1004. You guys don't have
to go to Prague after all.
Copy !req
1005. So, just come with me
Copy !req
1006. and everything will just be
right back to how it was.
Copy !req
1007. Backpack?
Copy !req
1008. Backpack?
Copy !req
1009. AJ JR.: They're not going back
to your pack.
Copy !req
1010. What? Why not?
Copy !req
1011. I just did everything to get
our lives back, and I'm here.
Copy !req
1012. Sure, you're here now.
Copy !req
1013. But you didn't do
everything.
Copy !req
1014. You missed everything.
Copy !req
1015. AJ JR.: You just remember
the happy times.
Copy !req
1016. And sure,
there were lots of happy times.
Copy !req
1017. You loved them
and they loved you.
Copy !req
1018. Like you,
they were incensed
Copy !req
1019. when the dog park
was taken away.
Copy !req
1020. They were happy to support you
in your quest to get it back.
Copy !req
1021. That is, at first they were.
Copy !req
1022. Slowly, you started
to focus more
Copy !req
1023. on your goal
than anything else.
Copy !req
1024. You became a stranger.
Copy !req
1025. So what else
were they to do now, then?
Copy !req
1026. They couldn't
wait around forever.
Copy !req
1027. In the dark of night,
Copy !req
1028. they decided
to find their own way.
Copy !req
1029. AJ: Uh, except
maybe they didn't have to,
Copy !req
1030. because I love 'em
so mu...
Copy !req
1031. You know, I realized
I love 'em so much.
Copy !req
1032. AJ JR.:
AJ, what are you doing?
Copy !req
1033. AJ:
Just hear me out here.
Copy !req
1034. Let's say, uh, I gave up
the whole thing
Copy !req
1035. and, uh, Vinmeö is just as good.
Copy !req
1036. It was all fine now
Copy !req
1037. and then, you know, uh,
who needs buttered toast?
Copy !req
1038. We've got bagels,
Copy !req
1039. and actually,
it turns out
Copy !req
1040. that bagels are a better value
than toast.
Copy !req
1041. More calories, more filling.
Copy !req
1042. A nice, hearty meal.
Copy !req
1043. And I mean, sure,
there was a blog park,
Copy !req
1044. but, heh, come on,
Copy !req
1045. it's not such a big deal,
I mean, right?
Copy !req
1046. There's actually
quite a lot of places
Copy !req
1047. you can take a dog
that are, you know,
Copy !req
1048. basically just as good.
Copy !req
1049. I mean, look at how happy
we actually are.
Copy !req
1050. Everything was, uh...
Copy !req
1051. And everything was just great.
Copy !req
1052. Then, you know,
Diddy and Biff
Copy !req
1053. never did meet AJ Jr...
Well, okay,
Copy !req
1054. they probably did meet 'em
at some point,
Copy !req
1055. but, like,
they didn't have to go
Copy !req
1056. or leave
or anything like that.
Copy !req
1057. It was all chill.
Copy !req
1058. And I did a great job
Copy !req
1059. understanding
everybody's emotions.
Copy !req
1060. AJ JR.:
AJ, what are you doing?
Copy !req
1061. Oh, hey, AJ Jr.
Copy !req
1062. In here,
I didn't make the mistake
Copy !req
1063. of ignoring everybody.
Copy !req
1064. So I'm just gonna stick
with this, I think.
Copy !req
1065. AJ JR.:
I'm not sure...
Copy !req
1066. AJ, Diddy and Biff
were all happy
Copy !req
1067. with all the replacements
to our routines
Copy !req
1068. and everything went back
to normal.
Copy !req
1069. Danny and Morgan decided
to move back to Fargo
Copy !req
1070. and live with Luciano
Copy !req
1071. because
they all love me so much.
Copy !req
1072. Stewp's on.
Copy !req
1073. AJ: The mayor and I
sorted it all out.
Copy !req
1074. Turns out, well,
Copy !req
1075. we actually have
a lot in common.
Copy !req
1076. And we thought,
hey, why not
Copy !req
1077. just combine
the two park ideas, hmm?
Copy !req
1078. I came up with the name.
Copy !req
1079. Pretty clever, right?
Copy !req
1080. “Blog Bark.”
Copy !req
1081. - It's pretty clever.
- Right?
Copy !req
1082. You might be wondering
about liabilities,
Copy !req
1083. like people
with allergies.
Copy !req
1084. Easy solution...
Copy !req
1085. Hey, what's that over there?
Copy !req
1086. What...?
I dunno, I'm nearsighted.
Copy !req
1087. AJ: We were all really happy
and we got older.
Copy !req
1088. But getting older was okay
because we were all happy.
Copy !req
1089. It was a long
and satisfying life
Copy !req
1090. filled with love and loafs.
Copy !req
1091. Once I passed,
Copy !req
1092. Diddy and Biff would be free
Copy !req
1093. to do whatever they'd like:
Copy !req
1094. go to college
or whatever it was.
Copy !req
1095. They could be happy...
Copy !req
1096. and I could finally rest.
Copy !req
1097. So happy that I didn't die!
Copy !req
1098. AJ JR.:
AJ.
Copy !req
1099. AJ JR.:
AJ, listen to me.
Copy !req
1100. I never died.
Copy !req
1101. I just kept living
on and on.
Copy !req
1102. No regrets, no mistakes.
Copy !req
1103. AJ JR.:
AJ, snap out of it!
Copy !req
1104. What? What?
Copy !req
1105. Hello? What?
Copy !req
1106. They're gone.
Copy !req
1107. No! No, they're not!
Copy !req
1108. Look!
Copy !req
1109. Look closer.
Copy !req
1110. Oh...
Copy !req
1111. They had
to catch plane.
Copy !req
1112. Ohh...
Copy !req
1113. Listen, it's not that
Copy !req
1114. you can't reconnect with them,
Copy !req
1115. it's just that you can't
Copy !req
1116. reconnect with them at, like,
the exact moment
Copy !req
1117. it suddenly
became important to you.
Copy !req
1118. Ohh...
Copy !req
1119. You can catch up later,
over computer.
Copy !req
1120. Ohh-ver-computer.
Copy !req
1121. Yeah, or when
they come back for Christmas.
Copy !req
1122. Everybody comes back
for Christmas.
Copy !req
1123. Oh, holy night.
Copy !req
1124. You know, your solipsistic
fantasy was sort of messed up,
Copy !req
1125. but there were
some good ideas in there.
Copy !req
1126. Oh?
Copy !req
1127. Like, why don't you and Mayor
Copy !req
1128. share the park?
Copy !req
1129. Hmm...
Copy !req
1130. We do like each other now.
Copy !req
1131. - We do, don't we?
- Mmm.
Copy !req
1132. What a scoop!
Copy !req
1133. First adversaries
and now compadres!
Copy !req
1134. Ey, kinda like us!
Copy !req
1135. Ha ha! Ha ha!
Copy !req
1136. Ha ha!
Copy !req
1137. You know,
Mayor, I think
Copy !req
1138. that you should have
your mayor job back.
Copy !req
1139. Here.
Copy !req
1140. I appreciate it,
but no thanks.
Copy !req
1141. I've had my time in the seat...
I was mayor for 20 years.
Copy !req
1142. You have.
Long time. You're right.
Copy !req
1143. I just think now is the moment
for new leadership, you know?
Copy !req
1144. But who,
who, who can do it?
Copy !req
1145. So, what did we miss?
Copy !req
1146. Our first act
as mayors is to insist
Copy !req
1147. that you finally
take a moment to catch up
Copy !req
1148. with everybody you left behind
during this whole adventure.
Copy !req
1149. 'kay.
Copy !req
1150. Hey. I'm sorry
I went so far.
Copy !req
1151. I still have a lot
of growing to do, but...
Copy !req
1152. If you'd let me,
Copy !req
1153. I'd like to be
part of your life again.
Copy !req
1154. Thanks for listening,
Copy !req
1155. and again, I sure am sorry.
Copy !req
1156. I'm not the same
coffee kiosk lady.
Copy !req
1157. Think about how long
it's been.
Copy !req
1158. Oh.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Copy !req
1159. AJ, is that you?
Copy !req
1160. I run the coffee kiosk now.
Copy !req
1161. Uh, hey, uh, so do you have,
like, a name?
Copy !req
1162. I've been calling you Mayor
this whole time.
Copy !req
1163. I think I did... once.
Copy !req
1164. But I don't remember.
Copy !req
1165. Well, that's no good.
Copy !req
1166. Everyone needs a name.
Copy !req
1167. Even former mayors.
Copy !req
1168. It's not too late,
why don't you give it a shot.
Copy !req
1169. Okay, sure.
Copy !req
1170. What the hay.
Copy !req
1171. I think
I'll call myself...
Copy !req
1172. Air.
Copy !req
1173. I love it!
Copy !req
1174. So what are
you gonna do now, Air?
Copy !req
1175. You know,
I've always secretly dreamt
Copy !req
1176. of being
a technical consultant.
Copy !req
1177. But how do you break in
to such a competitive industry?
Copy !req
1178. Need you say much more.
Copy !req
1179. You're hired.
Copy !req
1180. I've been waiting
for this day... for so long.
Copy !req
1181. Why, is it Christmastime
already?
Copy !req
1182. Thank you, Lord.
Copy !req
1183. It's good seeing
these computers are on
Copy !req
1184. way out here
in winter's time.
Copy !req
1185. Yeah, that's cool.
Copy !req
1186. Are you okay,
little lamprey?
Copy !req
1187. You seem
distracted.
Copy !req
1188. Yeah, I guess.
I just...
Copy !req
1189. You know,
I just hope they come.
Copy !req
1190. You're sure they got
the invitations, right?
Copy !req
1191. Yes. You sent them
Media Mail... with tracking.
Copy !req
1192. Yeah, yeah, you're right.
Copy !req
1193. Maybe I'll just close
my eyes until...
Copy !req
1194. Room for four more?
Copy !req
1195. (whispers)
Thank you for forgiving me.
Copy !req
1196. So, AJ,
what have you been up to?
Copy !req
1197. I don't know,
just taking it easy, I guess.
Copy !req
1198. Trying to kinda savor my time
Copy !req
1199. like a nice chewy steak.
Copy !req
1200. AJ: But hey,
what are we waiting for?
Copy !req
1201. Let's party!
Copy !req
1202. AJ: Yay!
Copy !req
1203. AJ: Whee!
Copy !req
1204. I'm the military school guy.
Huh?
Copy !req
1205. You know,
from the Suit Aide flashback!
Copy !req
1206. AJ!
Copy !req
1207. It is I,
Demon Lord Krogloch.
Copy !req
1208. I have risen
to destroy Fargo
Copy !req
1209. and summon my army
of haunted skeletons
Copy !req
1210. to annihilate you!
Copy !req
1211. Wha...? What's happening?
Copy !req
1212. Oh, geez!
Copy !req
1213. My favorite grocery store!
Copy !req
1214. My favorite movie store!
Copy !req
1215. This is AJ,
calling all air units.
Copy !req
1216. We gotta light this guy up.
Copy !req
1217. Don't worry, AJ,
we're gonna light this guy up.
Copy !req
1218. Big Doggie to Snow Hornet:
verify target.
Copy !req
1219. Target verified, Big Doggie.
Copy !req
1220. I'm gonna be poundin'
a couple of cold ones
Copy !req
1221. after this.
Copy !req
1222. That the only thing
Copy !req
1223. you're gonna be pounding,
Stinger?
Copy !req
1224. No, I'm sorry, Snow Hornet.
Copy !req
1225. Did you want an invitation?
Copy !req
1226. Cut the chatter.
Copy !req
1227. Let's light this guy up.
Copy !req
1228. Whoo-hoo!
Copy !req
1229. Roll herd! Horns up!
Copy !req
1230. Watch the hands, guys!
Copy !req
1231. Oh, yeah!
Copy !req
1232. - Stinger?
- What is it, Snow Hornet?
Copy !req
1233. You've been a good friend.
Copy !req
1234. - Snow Hornet!
- Snow Hornet!
Copy !req
1235. Big Doggie,
launch the black scorpions.
Copy !req
1236. Come on...
Copy !req
1237. Big Doggie, get out of there!
Copy !req
1238. He's got shock powers!
Copy !req
1239. Big Doggie...
Copy !req
1240. Stinger, bone mace tail, 9:00
Copy !req
1241. No!
Copy !req
1242. Oh, no,
my favorite butter burger store.
Copy !req
1243. AJ, check this out.
Copy !req
1244. Rise, my midnight children.
Copy !req
1245. Ope!
Copy !req
1246. You're gonna
need this, son.
Copy !req
1247. Why would you want
to destroy little ol' us?
Copy !req
1248. Because we claim this lot
as the Krogloch Park!
Copy !req
1249. That doesn't even rhyme!
Copy !req
1250. Rhyme this, puny mortals!
Copy !req
1251. AJ:
Everything I've gone through,
Copy !req
1252. everything I've learned,
Copy !req
1253. it all makes sense now.
Copy !req
1254. It all comes down to this!
Copy !req