1. Come, sorrow.
We welcome thee.Copy !req
2. Let us join in grief,Copy !req
3. rejoice in despair,Copy !req
4. and honor
the fortunate dead.Copy !req
5. Dearly beloved...Copy !req
6. Shh!Copy !req
7. Tsk tsk tsk.Copy !req
8. Good show, old man.Copy !req
9. Gomez.Copy !req
10. Cara mia?Copy !req
11. Marvelous news.Copy !req
12. I'm going to have a baby...Copy !req
13. right now.Copy !req
14. Nurse, how close
are the contractions?Copy !req
15. Every 15 seconds,
Doctor.Copy !req
16. Are you in
unbearable pain?Copy !req
17. Is it inhuman?
My darling, is it torture?Copy !req
18. Oui.Copy !req
19. And then mommy
kissed daddy,Copy !req
20. and the angel
told the stork.Copy !req
21. The stork
flew down from heavenCopy !req
22. and left a diamond under a leaf
in the cabbage patch,Copy !req
23. and the diamond
turned into a baby.Copy !req
24. Our parents
are having a baby, too.Copy !req
25. They had sex.Copy !req
26. Push, Mrs. Addams.Copy !req
27. Forceps!Copy !req
28. Forceps.Copy !req
29. Forceps!Copy !req
30. Aah!Copy !req
31. Would you like
anesthesia?Copy !req
32. No, thank you.
But ask the children.Copy !req
33. Cara mia.Copy !req
34. Mon cher.Copy !req
35. Mrs. Addams, the baby?Copy !req
36. Pardon.Copy !req
37. - It's a boy.
- It's a girl.Copy !req
38. - Gomez!
- What news?Copy !req
39. Father,
what is it?Copy !req
40. It's an Addams!Copy !req
41. I've arranged a little surprise,
my dearest.Copy !req
42. I hope you like it.Copy !req
43. Oh, Gomez, it's dark,
it's depressing, it's desolate.Copy !req
44. It says, "toddler."Copy !req
45. It's a dream.Copy !req
46. Come, cara mia.Copy !req
47. The Addams cradle.Copy !req
48. Welcome home, my son.Copy !req
49. That's not true.Copy !req
50. Everyone knows it is.Copy !req
51. When you have a new baby,
one of the other children has to die.Copy !req
52. - Really?
- It's a tradition. One of us has to go.Copy !req
53. Which one?Copy !req
54. Well, they only need
one boy.Copy !req
55. He has
my father's eyes.Copy !req
56. Gomez, take those
out of his mouth.Copy !req
57. Coochie coochie coo.Copy !req
58. A baby in the house.Copy !req
59. It's about time.
Hey, kiddo.Copy !req
60. Did you see that?Copy !req
61. He's a real devil.Copy !req
62. Pugsley, the baby
weighs 10 pounds.Copy !req
63. The cannonball
weighs 20 pounds.Copy !req
64. Which will hit
the stone walkway first?Copy !req
65. I'm still on fractions.Copy !req
66. Which do you think?Copy !req
67. The cannonball?Copy !req
68. Very good.
But which one will bounce?Copy !req
69. The baby?Copy !req
70. There's only one way
to find out.Copy !req
71. Ready?Copy !req
72. 1...Copy !req
73. 2...Copy !req
74. 3.Copy !req
75. What a glorious evening.Copy !req
76. Rain.Copy !req
77. Cara mia.Copy !req
78. Oh, dear.Copy !req
79. Children,
why do you hate the baby?Copy !req
80. We just want
to play with him.Copy !req
81. Especially his head.Copy !req
82. Do you think we love the baby
more than you?Copy !req
83. - Yes.
- Yes.Copy !req
84. Do you think when
a new baby arrives,Copy !req
85. another child
has to die?Copy !req
86. - Yes.
- Yes.Copy !req
87. Well,
that's just not true.Copy !req
88. Not anymore.Copy !req
89. It's just
sibling rivalry.Copy !req
90. Gomez, do you remember
what we were like?Copy !req
91. - I hated you!
- I despised you.Copy !req
92. I choked him
till he lost consciousnessCopy !req
93. and had to be put
on a respirator.Copy !req
94. I tied him to a treeCopy !req
95. and pulled out four
of his permanent teeth.Copy !req
96. When he was asleep,Copy !req
97. I opened his skull
and removed his brains.Copy !req
98. You did?Copy !req
99. A brother!Copy !req
100. Brother!Copy !req
101. Children, you see?Copy !req
102. "Death! Death
to the enemiesCopy !req
103. of the people
of the republic."Copy !req
104. Hoorah!Copy !req
105. Justice is served.Copy !req
106. Bring forward
the evil one.Copy !req
107. You have betrayed
the people of France.Copy !req
108. You are evil incarnate.Copy !req
109. How do you plead?Copy !req
110. Guilty.Copy !req
111. Guilty
by her own admission.Copy !req
112. The sentence is death.Copy !req
113. Executioner,
place her on the block.Copy !req
114. 1...Copy !req
115. 2...Copy !req
116. Children,
what are you doing?Copy !req
117. - Playing!
- Playing!Copy !req
118. 3!Copy !req
119. Woe to the republic.Copy !req
120. Look at you.Copy !req
121. Midnight, moonlight,Copy !req
122. surrounded by death.Copy !req
123. It's been too long.Copy !req
124. Do it!
Hold him still!Copy !req
125. You missed.Copy !req
126. Here, catch!Copy !req
127. I don't want him!Copy !req
128. One house,
three children.Copy !req
129. So many windows.Copy !req
130. My darling, it's you
I'm worried about,Copy !req
131. the stress,
all this squabbling.Copy !req
132. Oh, I'll be fine.Copy !req
133. I'm just like any modern woman,
trying to have it all—Copy !req
134. loving husband, a family.Copy !req
135. It's just
I wish I had more timeCopy !req
136. to seek out
the dark forcesCopy !req
137. and join their hellish crusade,
that's all.Copy !req
138. You can! You shall!
So it must be!Copy !req
139. But how?Copy !req
140. Children,
as your new nanny,Copy !req
141. I know that we're
all concernedCopy !req
142. about the environment,Copy !req
143. so this morning,
let's discussCopy !req
144. how to prevent
forest fires.Copy !req
145. Prevent them?Copy !req
146. All right, children,Copy !req
147. I've had it
up to here.Copy !req
148. Now you just answer
one simple question.Copy !req
149. Where is that baby?Copy !req
150. Which part?Copy !req
151. Hello, kiddies.Copy !req
152. I'm Polly the puppet.Copy !req
153. What shall we do today?Copy !req
154. I know.
Let's all clean our rooms.Copy !req
155. Hello, Polly.Copy !req
156. I'll clean my roomCopy !req
157. in exchange
for your immortal soul.Copy !req
158. Hi. Addams residence?Copy !req
159. Ooh, it's old.Copy !req
160. And big.Copy !req
161. Lurch.Copy !req
162. Hi! Hi. I'm Debbie Jellinsky
from the agency.Copy !req
163. The agency?Copy !req
164. But they claimed
no one else was available.Copy !req
165. They suggested
a Doberman.Copy !req
166. Surprise!
I've been out of town.Copy !req
167. Are you the mom?Copy !req
168. I am Mrs. Addams.Copy !req
169. I love your dress.
It's so tight.Copy !req
170. Thank you.Copy !req
171. Gomez.Copy !req
172. I believe we may have
a new nanny...Copy !req
173. Miss Jellinsky.Copy !req
174. Deb.Copy !req
175. Isn't he a lady-killer?Copy !req
176. Acquitted.Copy !req
177. I'll show you
all my referencesCopy !req
178. so you'll know
I'm not a homicidal maniac.Copy !req
179. - Of course you're not.
- You're too young.Copy !req
180. Welcome to our home.Copy !req
181. There's a belfry,
a swamp,Copy !req
182. and a dungeon down below.Copy !req
183. - Cable?
- Of course.Copy !req
184. Debbie.Copy !req
185. Oh, is that
the little critter?Copy !req
186. Oh, no.
This is our baby.Copy !req
187. He's adorable. He's perfect.
What's his name?Copy !req
188. It was agony.Copy !req
189. We went through
all the usual baby names...Copy !req
190. Lucifer...Copy !req
191. Benito...Copy !req
192. Mao.Copy !req
193. Then we came
to our senses,Copy !req
194. something a child
could live with...Copy !req
195. Pubert.Copy !req
196. Pubert...Copy !req
197. I like it.Copy !req
198. It's filthy.Copy !req
199. May I?Copy !req
200. Your dress,
is it flammable?Copy !req
201. You've had your shots—Copy !req
202. measles, mumps, rabies?Copy !req
203. Oh, I just adore
little babies.Copy !req
204. I just want to squeeze them
till there's not a breath leftCopy !req
205. in their tiny little bodies.Copy !req
206. Hello, Pubert.Copy !req
207. I love you.Copy !req
208. Children, this is Miss Jellinsky,
our new nanny.Copy !req
209. What do we say?Copy !req
210. Be afraid.
Be very afraid.Copy !req
211. Look at you—Copy !req
212. all cooped up in this house
with a new baby.Copy !req
213. That's not easy,
is it?Copy !req
214. No.Copy !req
215. Why, I bet sometimesCopy !req
216. you wish it was
still just the two of you.Copy !req
217. Or less.Copy !req
218. Well, don't you worry.Copy !req
219. Everything's
going to be just fine.Copy !req
220. I love them.Copy !req
221. Thing...Copy !req
222. stop that.Copy !req
223. He likes you.Copy !req
224. Heh heh heh heh.Copy !req
225. I'm good with my hands.Copy !req
226. What a wonderful family,Copy !req
227. although there's one fella
I haven't met yet.Copy !req
228. Hi there, mister.Copy !req
229. Your nephew?Copy !req
230. My brother.Copy !req
231. No!Copy !req
232. Fester,
come out here.Copy !req
233. He's very shy.Copy !req
234. Fester, this is Miss Jellinsky,
our new nanny.Copy !req
235. Hello, Fester.Copy !req
236. These Addams men,
where do you find them?Copy !req
237. It has to be damp.Copy !req
238. I can't wait.Copy !req
239. I'll start first thing
tomorrow.Copy !req
240. Why not tonight?Copy !req
241. Good night, Debbie.Copy !req
242. Good night!Copy !req
243. Scream if you need
anything.Copy !req
244. So we've hired
Miss Jellinsky.Copy !req
245. She's a gem,
don't you think?Copy !req
246. She's perfect.Copy !req
247. Oh, Fester,
I'm such a lucky man.Copy !req
248. I hope that someday you'll know
the indescribable joyCopy !req
249. of having childrenCopy !req
250. and of paying someone else
to raise them.Copy !req
251. First wouldn't I
have to get married?Copy !req
252. You're just a boy.
There's plenty of time.Copy !req
253. You'll meet someone,
someone very special,Copy !req
254. someone
who won't press charges.Copy !req
255. Oh, I'd like that.Copy !req
256. You rascal.Copy !req
257. Oh, and what's this?Copy !req
258. - Mom.
- Mom.Copy !req
259. Tonight on America's
Most Disgusting Unsolved Crimes,Copy !req
260. we investigate
the case of Ursula...Copy !req
261. Carmen...Copy !req
262. and Nadine—Copy !req
263. three very different women
with one thing in common—Copy !req
264. murder!Copy !req
265. And they're all
the same woman.Copy !req
266. She's known by the police
as the Black Widow.Copy !req
267. She mates,
then she kills.Copy !req
268. She investigates
wealthy men,Copy !req
269. finding the richest,
loneliest bachelors,Copy !req
270. gaining their trust
and their love,Copy !req
271. and finally,
she marries them.Copy !req
272. Then, on the wedding night,
she kills them.Copy !req
273. The deaths
appear accidental.Copy !req
274. After the funeral,
she disappears, cash in hand,Copy !req
275. but the money
never lasts.Copy !req
276. Soon the Black Widow
is hungry again,Copy !req
277. hungry for cash,
hungry for love.Copy !req
278. A mistress of disguise,
she's eluded the authorities for years.Copy !req
279. Who is she,Copy !req
280. and what seemingly innocent pose
will she next assume?Copy !req
281. All we can say is...Copy !req
282. bachelors, beware.Copy !req
283. We'll be going out
for most of the morning.Copy !req
284. All the important numbers—Copy !req
285. police, fire department,
morgue.Copy !req
286. Fester, come along.Copy !req
287. Goodbye, Fester.Copy !req
288. Say goodbye to Debbie.Copy !req
289. Have fun!Copy !req
290. Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm!Copy !req
291. Fester Addams. My, my.Copy !req
292. Stocks and bonds...Copy !req
293. deeds...Copy !req
294. gold bullion.Copy !req
295. Treasury bills...Copy !req
296. IRAs.Copy !req
297. What a strange old house.Copy !req
298. It's so drafty.Copy !req
299. It's really no place
for children.Copy !req
300. No place at all.Copy !req
301. Hold still,
you little brat.Copy !req
302. He's not a brat.Copy !req
303. Of course not.
He's an adorable little baby.Copy !req
304. Fine. Rub it in.Copy !req
305. We're getting him
all readyCopy !req
306. for a nice little walk.Copy !req
307. Would you like to come?Copy !req
308. Are you really a nanny?Copy !req
309. What a question.Copy !req
310. Why did you come here?Copy !req
311. Why, to take care of you...Copy !req
312. all of you.Copy !req
313. Especially my uncle?Copy !req
314. I shouldn't be
telling you this.Copy !req
315. They swore me
to secrecy,Copy !req
316. the little angels,Copy !req
317. but they want to go.Copy !req
318. It's all they talked about
all morning.Copy !req
319. They're just afraid
to ask you.Copy !req
320. They're afraid you'll think
they don't love you.Copy !req
321. The poor things.Copy !req
322. It's a bizarre request.Copy !req
323. It's horrifying.Copy !req
324. They have their hearts
set on it.Copy !req
325. I knew
you'd want to knowCopy !req
326. as concerned,
caring parents.Copy !req
327. Oh, Gomez,
what shall we do?Copy !req
328. How can we say no?Copy !req
329. Don't even mention it.Copy !req
330. Just do it.Copy !req
331. I'm sure
they'll deny everything,Copy !req
332. but they want to go,Copy !req
333. God love them.Copy !req
334. - Summer camp.
- Summer camp.Copy !req
335. "Camp Chippewa."Copy !req
336. How charming.Copy !req
337. What's a chippewa?Copy !req
338. It's an old
Indian word.Copy !req
339. It means orphan.Copy !req
340. Fresh air...Copy !req
341. the scent of pine.Copy !req
342. Wednesday,
look at all of the other children—Copy !req
343. their freckles,
their bright little eyes,Copy !req
344. their eager,
friendly smiles.Copy !req
345. Help them.Copy !req
346. Hi. I'm Amanda Buckman.Copy !req
347. Why are you dressed
like that?Copy !req
348. Like what?Copy !req
349. Like you're going
to a funeral.Copy !req
350. Why are you dressed
like somebody died?Copy !req
351. Wait.Copy !req
352. Hi. Don Buckman.Copy !req
353. Isn't this place
something else?Copy !req
354. Very exclusive.Copy !req
355. A kid has to be
extra special to get in,Copy !req
356. gifted, exceptional.Copy !req
357. Our Amanda's already
skipped two grades.Copy !req
358. How about your boy?Copy !req
359. Probation.Copy !req
360. We just love Chippewa.Copy !req
361. Amanda couldn't wait.Copy !req
362. It's all
she talked about.Copy !req
363. She's got
a whole new wardrobe.Copy !req
364. And this little lady?Copy !req
365. Wednesday's at
that very special ageCopy !req
366. when a girl has
only one thing on her mind.Copy !req
367. Boys?Copy !req
368. Homicide.Copy !req
369. Attention!Copy !req
370. Hey! Listen up,
everybody.Copy !req
371. I'm Gary Granger!Copy !req
372. And I'm
Becky Martin-Granger.Copy !req
373. We're the owners and directors
here at Camp Chippewa,Copy !req
374. America's foremost
facility for...Copy !req
375. privileged young adults.Copy !req
376. And we're all here
to learn, to grow,Copy !req
377. and to just plain
have fun!Copy !req
378. 'Cause that's what being
privileged is all about.Copy !req
379. Buffy!Copy !req
380. How are you?Copy !req
381. I'm fine.
How are you?Copy !req
382. How are you doing?Copy !req
383. I don't think
I like it here.Copy !req
384. Do you know
how dirty you are?Copy !req
385. Please leave him alone.Copy !req
386. I can't breathe.Copy !req
387. Stand up straight,
please.Copy !req
388. This is why
he's always sick.Copy !req
389. Don't start with me.Copy !req
390. This has nothing to do
with allergies.Copy !req
391. You did this.Copy !req
392. Can you breathe?Copy !req
393. Stand up straight.
Stand up straight.Copy !req
394. "Everyone at the ballCopy !req
395. "turned and stared
at Cinderella.Copy !req
396. "Who is that beautiful woman?
everyone asked.Copy !req
397. "Even Prince Charming
noticed the new arrival.Copy !req
398. "Who are you?
he asked Cinderella.Copy !req
399. "My name is Cinderella,
she said to the prince.Copy !req
400. "Could you tell meCopy !req
401. "who is that man
over by the punch bowl,Copy !req
402. "that fascinating man,Copy !req
403. "that oddly sensual man,Copy !req
404. "that man who makes me
quiver under my bodice,Copy !req
405. that baldman?"Copy !req
406. She's driving me wild!Copy !req
407. Who?Copy !req
408. Debbie.
Debbie.Copy !req
409. Even the sound
of her name...Copy !req
410. Debbie.Copy !req
411. Isn't it beautiful?Copy !req
412. She makes me think of vinyl.
Chemicals!Copy !req
413. Truly, Fester,Copy !req
414. has it finally happened,
at long last?Copy !req
415. I don't know.
I think so.Copy !req
416. All these years
I've watched you and MorticiaCopy !req
417. through windows,
doorways,Copy !req
418. keyholes.Copy !req
419. I've been so happy
for you,Copy !req
420. but I have to confess
I've been jealous, too.Copy !req
421. I've dreamed
that sometimeCopy !req
422. there might be
someone for me.Copy !req
423. There's Thing.Copy !req
424. I know,
but I want more—Copy !req
425. legs, elbows,Copy !req
426. a head.Copy !req
427. Two legs?Copy !req
428. Dare I ask Debbie
to dinner?Copy !req
429. What if she says no?Copy !req
430. What if she says yes?Copy !req
431. If I asked her,
would you come,Copy !req
432. you and Morticia?Copy !req
433. Of course.Copy !req
434. Life saving.Copy !req
435. We're all
top-notch swimmers.Copy !req
436. Now we show our stuffCopy !req
437. and earn
those certificates.Copy !req
438. How about
our first little pairCopy !req
439. of life saving buddies?Copy !req
440. Amanda, Wednesday.Copy !req
441. Is that
your bathing suit?Copy !req
442. Is that your over bite?Copy !req
443. One of you will be
the drowning victim.Copy !req
444. The other one
will be our lifesaver.Copy !req
445. I'll be the victim.Copy !req
446. All your life.Copy !req
447. I'm going to be
an actress.Copy !req
448. Brava!Copy !req
449. Now jump in,
swim out a few yards,Copy !req
450. and start drowning.Copy !req
451. Help me!Copy !req
452. Help me!Copy !req
453. I'm drowning!Copy !req
454. Help me!Copy !req
455. I'm dying!Copy !req
456. I can't swim.Copy !req
457. It's our favorite bistro.Copy !req
458. We've been coming here
for years.Copy !req
459. Of course,
it has been redone.Copy !req
460. Oh, it's just...Copy !req
461. lovely.Copy !req
462. Isn't it, Fester?Copy !req
463. Fester.Copy !req
464. It's a quaint
French custom—Copy !req
465. sharing half-eaten bread.Copy !req
466. Fester is truly
continental.Copy !req
467. He spent
many years abroad.Copy !req
468. He speaks 12 languages
fluently.Copy !req
469. I could tell.Copy !req
470. When I first
saw him,Copy !req
471. I thought
he was from Europe.Copy !req
472. You did?Copy !req
473. It's true.Copy !req
474. But I took a bath.Copy !req
475. Fester's really
a wonderful man.Copy !req
476. He's just terribly shy.Copy !req
477. I just can't tell—Copy !req
478. does he like me
at all?Copy !req
479. Of course he does.Copy !req
480. He vomited.Copy !req
481. Does he always do that
with women he likes?Copy !req
482. Oh, no.Copy !req
483. Just you.Copy !req
484. Ah.Copy !req
485. Do you think she minded?Copy !req
486. Of course not.Copy !req
487. She adores you.Copy !req
488. I'm making
such a mess of things.Copy !req
489. Gomez, how do you do it?Copy !req
490. How can I be like you?Copy !req
491. How can I be suave?Copy !req
492. Woo her, admire her,Copy !req
493. make her feel like she's
the most sublime creature on Earth.Copy !req
494. Yes. That's it?Copy !req
495. We're back,Copy !req
496. noses powdered.Copy !req
497. Perfection
achieved.Copy !req
498. We are the luckiest
brothers on Earth.Copy !req
499. We are unworthy
of such splendor,Copy !req
500. undeserving
of such radiance.Copy !req
501. Uh, that's right.Copy !req
502. We should have...
ugly girls.Copy !req
503. Hah!Copy !req
504. And then
the ghost said,Copy !req
505. "And I will
haunt you forever."Copy !req
506. - Ooh.
- Ooh.Copy !req
507. Wednesday,Copy !req
508. you have to continue
the ghost story.Copy !req
509. This is dumb.Copy !req
510. Well, if you
can't do it...Copy !req
511. And, so, the next night,Copy !req
512. the ghost returned
to the haunted cabin,Copy !req
513. and he said
to the campers,Copy !req
514. "None of you
really believe in me,Copy !req
515. so I'll have
to prove my power."Copy !req
516. And the next morning,Copy !req
517. when the campers woke up,Copy !req
518. all of their old noses
had grown back.Copy !req
519. - Aah!
- Aah!Copy !req
520. Oh, Fester,Copy !req
521. how you
must hate me.Copy !req
522. What?Copy !req
523. Here you are,Copy !req
524. a debonair
man of the world.Copy !req
525. How I must bore you.Copy !req
526. Oh, never.Copy !req
527. Fester, before
we go any further,Copy !req
528. I have a confession,Copy !req
529. something
I must tell you.Copy !req
530. I'm a virgin.Copy !req
531. You are?Copy !req
532. Yes.Copy !req
533. What's that?Copy !req
534. It—It's someoneCopy !req
535. who's never experienced
physical love.Copy !req
536. Oh.Copy !req
537. You mean,
with another person.Copy !req
538. Then, Debbie,Copy !req
539. I have a confession
to make, as well.Copy !req
540. I'm one, too.Copy !req
541. You? You?Copy !req
542. Yes.Copy !req
543. But with your looks,
your charm,Copy !req
544. women must
follow you everywhere.Copy !req
545. Store detectives.Copy !req
546. Oh, Fester,Copy !req
547. I always dreamedCopy !req
548. of meeting
someone untouched,Copy !req
549. someone pure,Copy !req
550. someone...
just like you.Copy !req
551. You'll meet him.Copy !req
552. And—And I dreamed
that when I met him,Copy !req
553. that we would wait
until our wedding nightCopy !req
554. to give ourselves
to one another,Copy !req
555. to make
the ultimate sacrifice.Copy !req
556. A goat?Copy !req
557. Until now I thought
it was impossible,Copy !req
558. but, Fester Addams,Copy !req
559. I love you.Copy !req
560. You do?Copy !req
561. Please, I have to know
how you feel about me.Copy !req
562. I love you.Copy !req
563. I worship you.Copy !req
564. I'd do anything for you.Copy !req
565. I'd pay.Copy !req
566. Fester!Copy !req
567. Debbie!Copy !req
568. Oh.Copy !req
569. Oh.Copy !req
570. Oh.Copy !req
571. Oh.Copy !req
572. Look at him.Copy !req
573. So peaceful.Copy !req
574. This evening
as I watched Fester and Debbie,Copy !req
575. I kept
my fingers crossed.Copy !req
576. I hoped...Copy !req
577. I prayed.Copy !req
578. Let them
fall in love.Copy !req
579. Let them know happiness.Copy !req
580. Let them adopt.Copy !req
581. Gomez, Morticia,Copy !req
582. great news—Copy !req
583. Something impossible,
a miracle.Copy !req
584. - The rash...
- It's gone.Copy !req
585. I'm engaged.Copy !req
586. That ring...Copy !req
587. It was our mother's.
She was buried with it.Copy !req
588. Mail call.Copy !req
589. Addams.Copy !req
590. Barkley,
Castleman, Calloway,Copy !req
591. Dexter, Donman,Copy !req
592. Edwards, Evans,Copy !req
593. Finley, Fisher,
Framingham...Copy !req
594. Oh, no.Copy !req
595. What is it?Copy !req
596. This is unspeakable.Copy !req
597. Is something wrong?
Bad news?Copy !req
598. It's the worst thing ever
in the history of human events.Copy !req
599. Uncle Fester
is getting married.Copy !req
600. A wedding?Copy !req
601. But that's
great news.Copy !req
602. To whom?Copy !req
603. The nanny.Copy !req
604. Get out of the cabin.Copy !req
605. I'd kill myself.Copy !req
606. The help?Copy !req
607. I'm sure
she's a very nice lady.Copy !req
608. I think
that's disgusting.Copy !req
609. Their whole family'sCopy !req
610. like some weird
medical experiment.Copy !req
611. I think they're
like circus people.Copy !req
612. What did you say?Copy !req
613. Tempers.Copy !req
614. Group hug.Copy !req
615. Wednesday.Copy !req
616. Pugsley.Copy !req
617. Will a hug hurt us?Copy !req
618. We don't hug.Copy !req
619. Oh, they're
just shy.Copy !req
620. We're not shy.Copy !req
621. We're contagious.Copy !req
622. I'm sensing
some friction here,Copy !req
623. something
not quite Chippewa.Copy !req
624. - Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
625. Hey, no problem-o.Copy !req
626. All they need are
good friends, good fun,Copy !req
627. and a little time
in the harmony hut.Copy !req
628. How long do we have
to stay in here?Copy !req
629. Until we crack.Copy !req
630. Have fun.Copy !req
631. What are you in for?Copy !req
632. I wouldn't go
horseback riding.Copy !req
633. That's all?Copy !req
634. And I wouldn't
make a bird house.Copy !req
635. Why not?Copy !req
636. I just wanted to read.Copy !req
637. Not on my time,
four-eyes.Copy !req
638. Aah!Copy !req
639. Aah aah aah!Copy !req
640. Hurry up.Copy !req
641. I'm coming.Copy !req
642. Wait.Copy !req
643. Be careful.Copy !req
644. Tetanus.Copy !req
645. There they are!Copy !req
646. I saw them
sneak out.Copy !req
647. What do you think
you're doing?Copy !req
648. We have to see
our family.Copy !req
649. It's important.Copy !req
650. More important
than summer fun?Copy !req
651. More important
than making new friends?Copy !req
652. More important
than sharing?Copy !req
653. Joel Glicker,
I'm surprised at you.Copy !req
654. I have to
get out of here.Copy !req
655. I have allergies.Copy !req
656. Oh, you're allergic?Copy !req
657. To sunshine,
archery, and crafts?Copy !req
658. Yes.Copy !req
659. I think
they should be punished.Copy !req
660. Punished! Punished!Copy !req
661. Punished! Punished!Copy !req
662. Punished! Punished!Copy !req
663. No! We are not here
to punish.Copy !req
664. We are here to inspire.Copy !req
665. Know what our little
ninja friends need?Copy !req
666. Know what might turn
their sad, wasted lives around?Copy !req
667. What?Copy !req
668. - Kumbaya, my Lord ~Copy !req
669. - Kumbaya ~Copy !req
670. - Kumbaya, my Lord ~Copy !req
671. - Kumbaya ~Copy !req
672. - Kumbaya, my Lord ~Copy !req
673. - Kumbaya ~Copy !req
674. - Oh, Lord, Kumbaya ~~Copy !req
675. Now, Debbie,
have you met everyone?Copy !req
676. Morticia.Copy !req
677. Margaret.Copy !req
678. Margaret, this is
our bride-to-be.Copy !req
679. Welcome
to our family.Copy !req
680. I can't tell you
what it's meantCopy !req
681. joining
the Addams clan.Copy !req
682. Have you met my husband
Cousin Itt?Copy !req
683. Cousin Itt?Copy !req
684. We've been so happy,Copy !req
685. and, just as little
Pubert arrived,Copy !req
686. we were blessed with
our own little bundle of joy.Copy !req
687. What?Copy !req
688. Oh, I didn't say anything.Copy !req
689. That's the baby's
nickname— What?Copy !req
690. From
the obstetrician.Copy !req
691. Isn't he precious?Copy !req
692. We've had offers.Copy !req
693. - For he's
a jolly good fellow ~Copy !req
694. - Which nobody
can deny ~~Copy !req
695. You guys are the best
bunch of friendsCopy !req
696. a fella could hope for.Copy !req
697. What a party!Copy !req
698. And now for
the piece de resistance.Copy !req
699. Ta-da!Copy !req
700. Ta-da!Copy !req
701. That poor girl.Copy !req
702. Lurch, was she in there
before you baked?Copy !req
703. So, so, so.Copy !req
704. C'est la vie.Copy !req
705. Ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
706. Are you really allergic?Copy !req
707. Uh-huh.Copy !req
708. To almost
everything.Copy !req
709. No, you're not.Copy !req
710. Am, too.Copy !req
711. I can't have
dairy productsCopy !req
712. or wear woolCopy !req
713. or drink
fluoridated water.Copy !req
714. You know
what happensCopy !req
715. if my mom uses
a fabric softener?Copy !req
716. What?Copy !req
717. I die.Copy !req
718. Where are you?Copy !req
719. Over here.Copy !req
720. Where?Copy !req
721. By the skeleton.Copy !req
722. I got your message
inside my cutlet.Copy !req
723. I need to ask you
something.Copy !req
724. What?Copy !req
725. Do you believe
in the existence of evil?Copy !req
726. Well, did you meet
my mom?Copy !req
727. My Uncle Fester's
about to get marriedCopy !req
728. to this woman
in a white uniform.Copy !req
729. A radiologist.Copy !req
730. A nanny.Copy !req
731. I have to go
to the wedding.Copy !req
732. I have a pass.
Want to come?Copy !req
733. You mean like...
on a date?Copy !req
734. No.Copy !req
735. I'd love to.Copy !req
736. I,Copy !req
737. Fester Addams,Copy !req
738. do hereby declare
my unending love.Copy !req
739. I will worship you forever.Copy !req
740. I will devote...Copy !req
741. my every waking momentCopy !req
742. to your happiness alone.Copy !req
743. Oh.Copy !req
744. Henceforth,
I am your eternalCopy !req
745. and helpless slave.Copy !req
746. Nice.Copy !req
747. Ditto.Copy !req
748. You're going to have a
wonderful life together.Copy !req
749. Yes, I am.Copy !req
750. Come, darling,Copy !req
751. let's see who's
the next happy bride.Copy !req
752. Here, Debbie!Copy !req
753. - To me!
- Me!Copy !req
754. Oh, I have it!Copy !req
755. - No! I have it!
- It's mine!Copy !req
756. Now you have
to get married.Copy !req
757. It's not binding.Copy !req
758. Tramp.Copy !req
759. - Bye!
- Congratulations!Copy !req
760. - Congratulations!
- Bon voyage!Copy !req
761. The key ingredientCopy !req
762. to a successful
Hawaiian honeymoonCopy !req
763. is romantic music.Copy !req
764. I ordered this cassette
from Time-Life.Copy !req
765. 5,000 of the World's
Most Romantic Melodies.Copy !req
766. It's superb.Copy !req
767. What do you
call this?Copy !req
768. Number 438.Copy !req
769. So...Copy !req
770. do you like
romantic living?Copy !req
771. I do, so far.Copy !req
772. I love romantic living.Copy !req
773. Oh, Fester, how much
do you love me?Copy !req
774. With all my soul.Copy !req
775. Would you do
anything for me?Copy !req
776. Anything.Copy !req
777. Would you die for me?Copy !req
778. Yes.Copy !req
779. Promise?Copy !req
780. Aah!Copy !req
781. Aah aah!Copy !req
782. Aah aah aah aah!Copy !req
783. Pumpkin?Copy !req
784. Muffin.Copy !req
785. Darling, I know
you're nervous.Copy !req
786. So am I.Copy !req
787. I'm not nervous.Copy !req
788. I'm upset.Copy !req
789. Because of the bathtub?Copy !req
790. Th-Th—Copy !req
791. That was an accident.Copy !req
792. I know.Copy !req
793. I'm fine.Copy !req
794. I know.Copy !req
795. Don't give it
another thought.Copy !req
796. Don't be frightened.Copy !req
797. This is as new to me
as it is to you.Copy !req
798. Have you really
never had sex?Copy !req
799. Never.Copy !req
800. Then how do you know we're
not having it right now?Copy !req
801. We'll be just like
Gomez and Morticia.Copy !req
802. Pretend we're
at home in my room—Copy !req
803. Granny down the hallway,Copy !req
804. Lurch by the door.Copy !req
805. Oh, my God.Copy !req
806. Please, what is it?Copy !req
807. What do you need?Copy !req
808. Only you, my dearest.Copy !req
809. Really?Copy !req
810. Fester, I'm ready.Copy !req
811. - Just one thing...
- Gomez told me. No giggling.Copy !req
812. - And?
- No hand puppets.Copy !req
813. - And...
- What?Copy !req
814. after we've made love,Copy !req
815. you can never see
your family again.Copy !req
816. What?Copy !req
817. Otherwise, I could never
really enjoy myself.Copy !req
818. I could never
give myself completely.Copy !req
819. Unless I never see
my family again?Copy !req
820. Yes. If I picture them
in our lives,Copy !req
821. I could never achieve...
you know.Copy !req
822. Never?Copy !req
823. Don't you love me?Copy !req
824. Of course.Copy !req
825. Don't you want me?Copy !req
826. Yes.Copy !req
827. Never.Copy !req
828. Stud.Copy !req
829. Whoa!Copy !req
830. Uh...Copy !req
831. ahh...Copy !req
832. It's so odd we haven't heard
from Fester and Debbie.Copy !req
833. It's been almost a week.
Hasn't it, little fellow?Copy !req
834. Look at him.Copy !req
835. Too much fun
at that reception.Copy !req
836. Hair of the pup.Copy !req
837. Excellent, Amanda!Copy !req
838. Thank you.Copy !req
839. Next!Copy !req
840. "Dear Wednesday and Pugsley,Copy !req
841. "I love you dearly,Copy !req
842. but I can never
see you again."Copy !req
843. Glicker, go!Copy !req
844. Good try!Copy !req
845. "When you are grown-up
and very lonely,Copy !req
846. "you'll understand.Copy !req
847. Love, Uncle Fester."Copy !req
848. He's a dead man.Copy !req
849. Go!Copy !req
850. It's an American
bald eagle!Copy !req
851. But aren't
they extinct?Copy !req
852. They are now.Copy !req
853. Mrs. Addams?Copy !req
854. Yes?Copy !req
855. Your hearse.
Where's the body?Copy !req
856. Right there.Copy !req
857. But he's alive.Copy !req
858. Tell me about it!Copy !req
859. Fester, we may be
together for a while...Copy !req
860. All our lives,
cara mia.Copy !req
861. What?Copy !req
862. Mon cher.Copy !req
863. - Speak English.
- Pumpkin?Copy !req
864. If I have to be seen with you,
we need to make some changes.Copy !req
865. Changes?Copy !req
866. Be careful!
It's a credenza!Copy !req
867. These are
beautiful things.Copy !req
868. They're
from catalogues.Copy !req
869. Fester,
get over here!Copy !req
870. It itches.Copy !req
871. Don't touch it,
not until the scab falls off.Copy !req
872. Pumpkin, do you think
these clothes are really me?Copy !req
873. Of course not.
That's the point.Copy !req
874. - Where do you want this?
- The second floor boudoir.Copy !req
875. I'm her husband.Copy !req
876. Fester!Copy !req
877. Give me a kiss.Copy !req
878. Give me a 20.
Watch it!Copy !req
879. That's a Queen Anne
chandelier!Copy !req
880. "Hawaii is wonderful.Copy !req
881. "I wish you were here,Copy !req
882. "and I can never
see you again!Copy !req
883. P.S., Debbie says hi."Copy !req
884. I don't understand.
For weeks not a word, and now this.Copy !req
885. Darling, come to bed.
He can't be serious.Copy !req
886. Have I done something,
said something?Copy !req
887. Why does my brother
despise me?Copy !req
888. He adores you.Copy !req
889. I'd do anything for him.Copy !req
890. At his request,
I would rip out my eyes.Copy !req
891. At his command,
I would crawl on my bellyCopy !req
892. through hot coals
and broken glass.Copy !req
893. Why wait?Copy !req
894. Has Fester gone mad?Copy !req
895. This is all just
some sort of phase.Copy !req
896. Post-honeymoon malaise.Copy !req
897. It's very common.Copy !req
898. Do you remember
our honeymoon?Copy !req
899. That glorious cruise.Copy !req
900. No quarrels.Copy !req
901. No cares.Copy !req
902. No survivors.Copy !req
903. Cara mia.Copy !req
904. So...Copy !req
905. you still desire me
after all these years?Copy !req
906. The old ball and chain?Copy !req
907. Forever.Copy !req
908. I'll get them.Copy !req
909. Heads up, campers.
Thejamboree's only two weeks away.Copy !req
910. And you know what that means—
clean cabins.Copy !req
911. Creating with clay and...Copy !req
912. Canoes, canoes, canoes!Copy !req
913. So we better
get cracking, huh?Copy !req
914. Look at this.
I've got them.Copy !req
915. Schizos and Serial Killers.Copy !req
916. I have almost
the whole series.Copy !req
917. I'm only missing Jack the Ripper
and that Zodiac guy.Copy !req
918. But look.Copy !req
919. "The Black Widow."Copy !req
920. It might be Debbie.Copy !req
921. At least three rich husbands...Copy !req
922. all dead.Copy !req
923. I'll trade you.Copy !req
924. For what?Copy !req
925. Amy Fischer.Copy !req
926. Each year,
we conclude our summerCopy !req
927. with a very special
presentation.Copy !req
928. Book, music,
and lyrics by...Copy !req
929. Gary Granger!Copy !req
930. And this year,Copy !req
931. the old bean has come up
with something pretty exciting—Copy !req
932. my own personal salute
to the first Thanksgiving.Copy !req
933. Now, we have thought
long and hardCopy !req
934. about choosing
just the right little actressCopy !req
935. for the leading role
of Sarah Miller,Copy !req
936. our beautiful
and kindly pilgrim lady,Copy !req
937. and we have selected...Copy !req
938. Amanda Buckman!Copy !req
939. And in the roles
of her pilgrim pals—Copy !req
940. Lily, Jennifer,
Tiffany, Missy,Copy !req
941. Michelle, and Melissa!Copy !req
942. But, of course,
not everyone can be a star.Copy !req
943. Let's not forget
our cheery little ChippewasCopy !req
944. Mordecai, Yang,Copy !req
945. Esther...Copy !req
946. um...Copy !req
947. Consuela, Irwin...Copy !req
948. and, um...Copy !req
949. I'm still not sure just
how to pronounce this.Copy !req
950. Jam-il? Jame-il?Copy !req
951. Jamal.Copy !req
952. Whatever.Copy !req
953. And as their leader
in the secondaryCopy !req
954. but still compellingly
written role of Pocahontas,Copy !req
955. guess who we have in mind.Copy !req
956. Our own little
brunette outcast—Copy !req
957. Wednesday Addams.Copy !req
958. We want to see
Debbie and Fester.Copy !req
959. Miss Debbie!Copy !req
960. Debra!Copy !req
961. Gomez...Copy !req
962. where are we?Copy !req
963. It looks familiar.Copy !req
964. Of course—
the gates of hell.Copy !req
965. Welcome to my home.Copy !req
966. Might we see my brother?Copy !req
967. No. He doesn't want to see
any of you or that.Copy !req
968. Why not?Copy !req
969. Because he's in love.Copy !req
970. He's wrapped in a gossamer
blanket of ecstasy,Copy !req
971. and he hates your guts.Copy !req
972. But why?Copy !req
973. Because you've
flaunted yourselves,Copy !req
974. your great love affair.Copy !req
975. You kept him a child.Copy !req
976. I've made him a man.Copy !req
977. Let me hear this
from his own lips.Copy !req
978. His lips are busy.Copy !req
979. You want to talk
to these people?Copy !req
980. Debbie.Copy !req
981. Oh.Copy !req
982. Go away!Copy !req
983. That is not my brother.Copy !req
984. Sorry.Copy !req
985. You have
enslaved him.Copy !req
986. You have
placed FesterCopy !req
987. under some strange
sexual spell.Copy !req
988. I respect that.
But, please, may we see him?Copy !req
989. Don't even
think about it.Copy !req
990. You have gone
too far.Copy !req
991. You have
married Fester.Copy !req
992. You have destroyed
his spirit.Copy !req
993. You have taken him
from us.Copy !req
994. All that
I could forgive.Copy !req
995. But, Debbie...Copy !req
996. What?Copy !req
997. Pastels?Copy !req
998. Get out of my house!Copy !req
999. Hit the road!Copy !req
1000. And if you ever
show your faces around here again,Copy !req
1001. I'll have you locked up
for trying to visit.Copy !req
1002. Right, Fessie?Copy !req
1003. Right!Copy !req
1004. Luxor, nexor,
burst, and burn!Copy !req
1005. What is she doing?Copy !req
1006. Just a curse.
Have a nice day.Copy !req
1007. I demand justice!Copy !req
1008. Someone has married
my brother.Copy !req
1009. No.Copy !req
1010. She took him to Hawaii.Copy !req
1011. They have moved into
a large, expensive homeCopy !req
1012. where they make love
constantly.Copy !req
1013. I hate
when that happens.Copy !req
1014. Arrest her at once
without delay.Copy !req
1015. - Who?
- Debbie.Copy !req
1016. My brother's wife,
the temptress of Waikiki.Copy !req
1017. Who are you?Copy !req
1018. What are you?
Who moved the rock?Copy !req
1019. Officer,
you must issue a subpoena.Copy !req
1020. I believe they own...Copy !req
1021. Gomez, no!Copy !req
1022. A Buick!Copy !req
1023. Just leave.
Leave quietly. Leave now.Copy !req
1024. Don't make me call
Ringling Brothers.Copy !req
1025. Has the planet gone mad?Copy !req
1026. My brother... passion's hostage.Copy !req
1027. I seek justice.Copy !req
1028. Denied.Copy !req
1029. I shall not submit.
I shall conquer. I shall rise.Copy !req
1030. My name is Gomez Addams,
and I have seen evil!Copy !req
1031. I have seen horror!Copy !req
1032. I have seen
the unholy maggotsCopy !req
1033. which feast in the dark recesses
of the human soul!Copy !req
1034. They're at camp.Copy !req
1035. I have seen all this,
Officer.Copy !req
1036. But until today,Copy !req
1037. I had never seen...Copy !req
1038. you!Copy !req
1039. Hook him, book him,
cook him. Now!Copy !req
1040. Next in line.Copy !req
1041. Yes, I'd like to renew
my passport, please.Copy !req
1042. I'll be leaving the country
very shortly.Copy !req
1043. Traveling alone?Copy !req
1044. Yes. I'll be a widow.Copy !req
1045. - Happy, happy turkey day ~Copy !req
1046. - Hunger pains will go away ~Copy !req
1047. - When you hear
the pilgrims say ~Copy !req
1048. - It's happy turkey day ~Copy !req
1049. - Happy, happy turkey day ~Copy !req
1050. - Let's all eat
the Indian way ~Copy !req
1051. - As Bastille
and Cape Cod day ~Copy !req
1052. - On happy turkey day ~~Copy !req
1053. Look at you.
Oh, Amanda, you look perfect!Copy !req
1054. You're just the prettiest pilgrim
I've ever seen!Copy !req
1055. Gar, come and take
a look at this.Copy !req
1056. Here they are!Copy !req
1057. They were
by the phone.Copy !req
1058. We were calling the FBI.Copy !req
1059. Their uncle's in trouble.Copy !req
1060. You're late for your fittings.Copy !req
1061. I don't want to be
in the pageant.Copy !req
1062. You won't help me
realize my vision?Copy !req
1063. Your work is puerile
and under-dramatized.Copy !req
1064. You lack any sense
of structure, character,Copy !req
1065. or the Aristotelian unities.Copy !req
1066. Young lady,
I am getting just a tad tiredCopy !req
1067. of your attitude problem.Copy !req
1068. Everyone, campers!Copy !req
1069. I have a wonderful idea.Copy !req
1070. Wednesday and Pugsley
and young Mr. Glicker here,Copy !req
1071. well, they have just
never quite latched onCopy !req
1072. to the Chippewa spirit,Copy !req
1073. nor have some of their
little comrades.Copy !req
1074. Isn't that sad?Copy !req
1075. - Yes!
- Yes!Copy !req
1076. Don't we just
hate that?Copy !req
1077. - Yes!
- Yes!Copy !req
1078. Don't we wish
they'd just die?Copy !req
1079. - Yes!
- Yes!Copy !req
1080. We don't.Copy !req
1081. But you know what
we'll do with them?Copy !req
1082. We're going to make
an example.Copy !req
1083. We are going to show
that anyone,Copy !req
1084. no matter how odd
or pale or chubby,Copy !req
1085. can still have
a darn good time.Copy !req
1086. Whether they
like it or not.Copy !req
1087. What are you going to do?Copy !req
1088. Yes, indeedy,
just the ticket.Copy !req
1089. Bambi.Copy !req
1090. Lassie Come Home.Copy !req
1091. The Little Mermaid.Copy !req
1092. Stop it.Copy !req
1093. He's only a child.Copy !req
1094. Don't worry.
We're getting out of here.Copy !req
1095. But...Copy !req
1096. it's Disney.Copy !req
1097. Yes.Copy !req
1098. - The hillsare alive ~Copy !req
1099. - With the sound of music ~Copy !req
1100. - With songs they have sung ~Copy !req
1101. - For a thousand years... ~~Copy !req
1102. - And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ~Copy !req
1103. - That this group must
somehow form a family ~Copy !req
1104. - That's the way we all
became the BradyBunch... ~~Copy !req
1105. - You're always a day ~Copy !req
1106. - A-way ~~Copy !req
1107. Well...Copy !req
1108. good evening.Copy !req
1109. Is there anything
you'd like to say to everyone?Copy !req
1110. Yes.Copy !req
1111. And just what
might that be?Copy !req
1112. I'm not perky.Copy !req
1113. That's for damn sure.Copy !req
1114. But I want to be.Copy !req
1115. You do?Copy !req
1116. I want to smileCopy !req
1117. and sing and danceCopy !req
1118. and be Pocahontas
in Gary's vision.Copy !req
1119. Oh, darling,
do you really mean it?Copy !req
1120. Isn't she pretty?Copy !req
1121. She's scaring me!Copy !req
1122. Oh, Gar.Copy !req
1123. Yeah.Copy !req
1124. Aah!Copy !req
1125. Stay back!Copy !req
1126. He's very sick.Copy !req
1127. My baby!Copy !req
1128. Lumbar, dison...Copy !req
1129. pox and thither,Copy !req
1130. curad, brattle,Copy !req
1131. bone and brine!Copy !req
1132. Bone and brine!Copy !req
1133. Well, he's stubborn.Copy !req
1134. It works on cats.Copy !req
1135. - What are we going to do?
- Is it hopeless?Copy !req
1136. Here it is.Copy !req
1137. "Chapter 18.
Infant possessions."Copy !req
1138. He's possessed?Copy !req
1139. "Warning signs—Copy !req
1140. "severe alterations
in appearance and personality.Copy !req
1141. Such alterations
can become permanent."Copy !req
1142. Permanent?
Those golden curls?Copy !req
1143. Those rosy cheeks?Copy !req
1144. That smile?Copy !req
1145. "These terrifying changesCopy !req
1146. "are most often the result
of a troubled family life.Copy !req
1147. Separations—"Copy !req
1148. You mean...Copy !req
1149. Fester!Copy !req
1150. Bingo! This kid knowsCopy !req
1151. that something is not
right around here.Copy !req
1152. Unless Fester comes back,
we're talking dimples.Copy !req
1153. Not in this house.Copy !req
1154. He could stay this way
for years. Forever.Copy !req
1155. He could become...Copy !req
1156. a lawyer...Copy !req
1157. I won't listen!Copy !req
1158. An orthodontist...Copy !req
1159. Mama, stop!Copy !req
1160. President.Copy !req
1161. Please! I beg you!Copy !req
1162. Take me!Copy !req
1163. Each summer we take
this occasionCopy !req
1164. to celebrate a seminal event
in American history.Copy !req
1165. This year, we depictCopy !req
1166. perhaps the most important day
in our shared past—Copy !req
1167. the first Thanksgiving!Copy !req
1168. A day for maize,Copy !req
1169. the Native American
word for corn,Copy !req
1170. a terrific turkey dinner,Copy !req
1171. and brotherhood!Copy !req
1172. So, white meat
and dark meat,Copy !req
1173. take it away!Copy !req
1174. - Eat us, hey,
it's Thanksgiving day ~Copy !req
1175. - Eat us,
we make a nice buffet ~Copy !req
1176. - We lost the race
with Farmer Ed ~Copy !req
1177. - Eat us 'cause
we're good and dead ~Copy !req
1178. - White man or red man ~Copy !req
1179. - From East, North,
or South ~Copy !req
1180. - Chop off our legs ~Copy !req
1181. - And put 'em
in your mouth ~Copy !req
1182. - Eat me ~Copy !req
1183. - Sauteed or barbecued ~Copy !req
1184. - Eat me ~Copy !req
1185. - We once were pets,
but now we're food ~Copy !req
1186. - We won't stay fresh
for very long ~Copy !req
1187. - So eat us before
we finish this song ~Copy !req
1188. - Eat us before
we finish this song ~~Copy !req
1189. Thank you.Copy !req
1190. It was a senseless tragedy.Copy !req
1191. Ha ha!Copy !req
1192. Angel, I'm going out
for just a minute.Copy !req
1193. I forgot the champagne.Copy !req
1194. Our three-week anniversary!
I'll go.Copy !req
1195. No, no.
You're working hard enough.Copy !req
1196. I'll just put your present
on the table.Copy !req
1197. Don't peek!Copy !req
1198. Oh, please, please!Copy !req
1199. What is it?Copy !req
1200. Is it string?Copy !req
1201. You never know.Copy !req
1202. Uh...
is it a dog toy?Copy !req
1203. Just you wait.Copy !req
1204. It's a bomb.Copy !req
1205. What?Copy !req
1206. I know.
Wait for my birthday.Copy !req
1207. Fester...Copy !req
1208. let me look at you.Copy !req
1209. I want to remember you
just this way.Copy !req
1210. What do you mean?Copy !req
1211. Rich. Will you miss me?Copy !req
1212. But you'll be right back,
won't you?Copy !req
1213. Of course.Copy !req
1214. Whoo!Copy !req
1215. Hoo hoo hoo hoo!Copy !req
1216. I am so glad we invited
the ChippewasCopy !req
1217. to join us
for this holiday meal.Copy !req
1218. Remember, these savages
are our guests.Copy !req
1219. We must not be surprisedCopy !req
1220. at any of their
strange customs.Copy !req
1221. After all, they have not
had our advantages,Copy !req
1222. such as fine schools,Copy !req
1223. libraries full of books,Copy !req
1224. shampoo.Copy !req
1225. How. I am Pocahontas,
a Chippewa maiden.Copy !req
1226. An Indian.Copy !req
1227. Enough said.Copy !req
1228. And I am Running Bear,Copy !req
1229. betrothed to Pocahontas.Copy !req
1230. In the play.Copy !req
1231. 20 grand for summer camp,Copy !req
1232. he's Mr. Woo-Woo.Copy !req
1233. We have brought a special gift
for this holiday feast.Copy !req
1234. I am a turkey. Kill me.Copy !req
1235. What a thoughtful gift!Copy !req
1236. Why, you are
as civilized as we,Copy !req
1237. except we wear shoes
and have last names.Copy !req
1238. Welcome to our table,
our new primitive friends.Copy !req
1239. Thank you,
Sarah Miller.Copy !req
1240. You're the most beautiful person
I've ever seen.Copy !req
1241. Your hair is the color
of the sun,Copy !req
1242. your skin is like fresh milk,Copy !req
1243. and everyone loves you.Copy !req
1244. Stop! Sit.Copy !req
1245. Wait.Copy !req
1246. What?Copy !req
1247. We cannot break
bread with you.Copy !req
1248. Huh? Becky,
what's going on?Copy !req
1249. Wednesday!Copy !req
1250. You have taken the landCopy !req
1251. which is
rightfully ours.Copy !req
1252. Years from now,
my people will be forcedCopy !req
1253. to live in mobile homes
on reservations.Copy !req
1254. Your people
will wear cardigansCopy !req
1255. and drink highballs.Copy !req
1256. We will sell our bracelets
by the roadsides.Copy !req
1257. You will play golfCopy !req
1258. and enjoy
hot hors d'oeuvres.Copy !req
1259. My people will have pain
and degradation.Copy !req
1260. Your people
will have stick shifts.Copy !req
1261. The gods of my tribe
have spoken.Copy !req
1262. They have said,
"Do not trust the pilgrims,Copy !req
1263. especially Sarah Miller."Copy !req
1264. Gary, she's changing the words.Copy !req
1265. And for all these reasons,Copy !req
1266. I have decided to scalp youCopy !req
1267. and burn your village
to the ground.Copy !req
1268. Aah!Copy !req
1269. Children! Campers!Copy !req
1270. Stop!
You're destroying my text!Copy !req
1271. Aah! Aah!Copy !req
1272. He's not a team player.Copy !req
1273. He needs friends.Copy !req
1274. He needs friends like this?Copy !req
1275. - Aah!
- Oh!Copy !req
1276. Aah!Copy !req
1277. Uh, I beg your pardon.Copy !req
1278. Do something!Copy !req
1279. - Macho, macho man ~Copy !req
1280. - Feel my muscles ~Copy !req
1281. - I've got to be a macho man ~Copy !req
1282. - Mucho, mucho, macho, macho ~Copy !req
1283. - I got to be a macho ~Copy !req
1284. - Hey, hey, hey, hey ~Copy !req
1285. Hey! Wait!
What time is it, Jorge?Copy !req
1286. Ah, 6:25.Copy !req
1287. Oops. Got to go.Copy !req
1288. - No!
- Wait!Copy !req
1289. Wait here.
It's my anniversary.Copy !req
1290. I'll be right back.Copy !req
1291. Your husband
is a very lucky man.Copy !req
1292. Don't say that!Copy !req
1293. - Hey, hey, hey ~Copy !req
1294. - Hey, macho, macho man ~Copy !req
1295. - I got to be a macho man ~~Copy !req
1296. Cheers.Copy !req
1297. Oh, no, no.Copy !req
1298. But, Officer...Copy !req
1299. my husband
was in that house.Copy !req
1300. Happy anniversary, Debbie.Copy !req
1301. Help. Help.Copy !req
1302. Sweetheart!
Did you get the champagne?Copy !req
1303. Freeze!Copy !req
1304. Pookie?Copy !req
1305. I tried to make it
look like an accident.Copy !req
1306. I tried to give you some dignity,
but, oh, no, not you.Copy !req
1307. What are you saying?Copy !req
1308. I want you dead,
and I want your money.Copy !req
1309. But—But...
don't you love me?Copy !req
1310. Is that a no?Copy !req
1311. Oh, do I love you.
Look at yourself!Copy !req
1312. You're a nightmare.
You're the missing link.Copy !req
1313. You shouldn't be married.
You should be studied.Copy !req
1314. You're a big,
dumb, weird thing.Copy !req
1315. No woman in her right mind
could love you.Copy !req
1316. Yeow!Copy !req
1317. Thing!Copy !req
1318. I'll get you!
And your little hand, too!Copy !req
1319. Aah!Copy !req
1320. Come on.Copy !req
1321. No. I have to go back.
For the others.Copy !req
1322. You're very brave.Copy !req
1323. And to watch the place burn.
You go.Copy !req
1324. Save your uncle.Copy !req
1325. I may never
see you again.Copy !req
1326. I know.Copy !req
1327. There are forces
tearing us apart—Copy !req
1328. Gary, Debbie,
seventh grade.Copy !req
1329. I'll never forget you.Copy !req
1330. You won't?Copy !req
1331. You're too weird.Copy !req
1332. We'll always have today
and Chippewa.Copy !req
1333. And this.Copy !req
1334. What is it?Copy !req
1335. Amanda's retainer.Copy !req
1336. Cara mia.Copy !req
1337. Mon cher.Copy !req
1338. Come on!Copy !req
1339. Move it!Copy !req
1340. Move out of the way!Copy !req
1341. "We looked,Copy !req
1342. "then we saw him
step in on the mat.Copy !req
1343. "We looked,
and we saw him—Copy !req
1344. the cat in the hat."Copy !req
1345. Are you enjoying this?Copy !req
1346. To think...Copy !req
1347. a child of mine.Copy !req
1348. "I know it is wet,Copy !req
1349. "and the sun is not sunny,Copy !req
1350. "but we can have
lots of good fun,Copy !req
1351. that is funny."Copy !req
1352. Oh, no.Copy !req
1353. He lives.Copy !req
1354. Come on! It's Gomez!Copy !req
1355. - Swing low ~Copy !req
1356. - Sweet chariot ~Copy !req
1357. - Coming for
to carry me home ~Copy !req
1358. - Swing low ~~Copy !req
1359. My baby is ill,Copy !req
1360. and my husband
is dying.Copy !req
1361. Oh, mama,
what shall I do?Copy !req
1362. Well, you have
a black dress.Copy !req
1363. Gomez!Copy !req
1364. - Fester!
- Fester!Copy !req
1365. Fester? Where is Fester?Copy !req
1366. He's right here,
mon cher.Copy !req
1367. It's me, Gomez.Copy !req
1368. I've tried to be
someone I'm not.Copy !req
1369. I live in shame...Copy !req
1370. and the suburbs!Copy !req
1371. But you belong to Debbie.Copy !req
1372. You're Debbie's love toy.Copy !req
1373. You are Mr. Debbie!Copy !req
1374. I am an Addams!Copy !req
1375. Fester!Copy !req
1376. Uncle Fester!Copy !req
1377. Children!Copy !req
1378. You sent us to camp.Copy !req
1379. They made us sing.Copy !req
1380. My own dear family.Copy !req
1381. How I've missed you all.Copy !req
1382. Our whole family—
together at last.Copy !req
1383. Three generations...Copy !req
1384. above ground.Copy !req
1385. In-laws!Copy !req
1386. I don't want
to hurt anybody.Copy !req
1387. I don't enjoy
hurting anybody.Copy !req
1388. I don't like guns or bombs
or electric chairs,Copy !req
1389. but sometimes
people just won't listen,Copy !req
1390. and so I have to use
persuasion...Copy !req
1391. and slides.Copy !req
1392. My parents—
Sharon and Dave.Copy !req
1393. Generous, doting...Copy !req
1394. or were they?Copy !req
1395. All I ever wanted
was a ballerina BarbieCopy !req
1396. in her pretty pink tutu.Copy !req
1397. My birthday.Copy !req
1398. I was 10,Copy !req
1399. and do you know
what they got me?Copy !req
1400. Malibu Barbie.Copy !req
1401. Malibu Barbie.Copy !req
1402. The nightmare.Copy !req
1403. The nerve.Copy !req
1404. That's not
what I wanted.Copy !req
1405. That's not who I was.Copy !req
1406. I was a ballerina—Copy !req
1407. graceful, delicate.Copy !req
1408. They had to go.Copy !req
1409. My first husband,
the heart surgeon.Copy !req
1410. All day long,
coronaries, transplants.Copy !req
1411. What about your needs?Copy !req
1412. "Sorry about dinner, Deb.Copy !req
1413. The pope has a cold."Copy !req
1414. An axe.Copy !req
1415. That takes me back.Copy !req
1416. Husband number two—
the senator.Copy !req
1417. He loved his state.
He loved his country.Copy !req
1418. What about Debbie?Copy !req
1419. "Sorry, Debbie.
No Mercedes this year.Copy !req
1420. We have to set an example."Copy !req
1421. Oh, yeah? Set this!Copy !req
1422. My latest husband.Copy !req
1423. My late husband Fester.Copy !req
1424. The fool.Copy !req
1425. The corpse.Copy !req
1426. And his adorable family.Copy !req
1427. You took me in.
You accepted me.Copy !req
1428. But did any of you love me?Copy !req
1429. Really love me?Copy !req
1430. Hands.Copy !req
1431. So I—I killed.Copy !req
1432. So I maimed.Copy !req
1433. So I destroyed one
innocent life after another.Copy !req
1434. Aren't I a human being?Copy !req
1435. Don't I yearn and...
ache and shop?Copy !req
1436. Don't I deserve love...Copy !req
1437. and jewelry?Copy !req
1438. Adieu, mon cher.Copy !req
1439. Adios, cara mia.Copy !req
1440. Debbie, let them go.
Take me and my money.Copy !req
1441. For what I've done,
I deserve to die.Copy !req
1442. Sorry.Copy !req
1443. Goodbye, everybody.Copy !req
1444. Wish me luck.Copy !req
1445. - Good luck.
- Good luck.Copy !req
1446. A birthday party!
What a treat!Copy !req
1447. And to think I might
have missed all this.Copy !req
1448. What was I thinking of?Copy !req
1449. Physical pleasure.Copy !req
1450. Oh...Copy !req
1451. Uncle Fester,
do you miss Debbie?Copy !req
1452. Well, sometimes,
late at night.Copy !req
1453. I remember
how she'd turn to meCopy !req
1454. and say "Jesus, Fester,
go back to your room."Copy !req
1455. Yoo-hoo!Copy !req
1456. Are we late?Copy !req
1457. Not at all.
We're just getting started.Copy !req
1458. I hope no one minds.
We brought along a guest.Copy !req
1459. This is our new nanny—
Dementia.Copy !req
1460. Oh...Copy !req
1461. Dementia.Copy !req
1462. What a beautiful name.Copy !req
1463. It means insanity.Copy !req
1464. My name's Fester.
It means to rot.Copy !req
1465. A toast.Copy !req
1466. To the glorious
mysteries of life.Copy !req
1467. To all that binds
a family as one.Copy !req
1468. To mirth, to merriment,
to manslaughter.Copy !req
1469. - Hear, hear.Copy !req
1470. To dear friends.Copy !req
1471. To new friends.Copy !req
1472. To youth.Copy !req
1473. How do I look?Copy !req
1474. Disturbing.Copy !req
1475. To passion.Copy !req
1476. To paradise.Copy !req
1477. To pain.Copy !req
1478. Tonight.Copy !req
1479. Ha ha! Make way
for the birthday boy!Copy !req
1480. Thing, will you
do the honors?Copy !req
1481. Your family
is really interesting.Copy !req
1482. Your parents are so
involved with each other.Copy !req
1483. Wednesday, do you think,
like, maybe somedayCopy !req
1484. you might want to get
married and have kids?Copy !req
1485. No.Copy !req
1486. But what if you met
just the right manCopy !req
1487. who worshipped
and adored you,Copy !req
1488. who'd do anything
for you,Copy !req
1489. who'd be
your devoted slave?Copy !req
1490. What would you do?Copy !req
1491. I'd pity him.Copy !req
1492. Poor Debbie.
She was sick.Copy !req
1493. She wasn't sick.Copy !req
1494. She was sloppy.Copy !req
1495. What do you mean?Copy !req
1496. If I wanted to kill my husband,
I'd do it, and I wouldn't get caught.Copy !req
1497. How?Copy !req
1498. I'd scare him to death.Copy !req
1499. No, you wouldn't.Copy !req
1500. We're all very sorry, Debbie.Copy !req
1501. We wish you only the best.Copy !req
1502. Aah! Aah!Copy !req
1503. Aah!Copy !req
1504. - Whoomp! Addams Family ~Copy !req
1505. - There it is ~Copy !req
1506. - Whoomp!
The Addams Family ~Copy !req
1507. - Come on, come on ~Copy !req
1508. - Whoomp! Addams Family ~Copy !req
1509. - There it is ~Copy !req
1510. - Whoomp!
The Addams Family ~Copy !req
1511. - Yeah, yo, dig it ~Copy !req
1512. - Back again,
the Addams Family ~Copy !req
1513. - New baby in the house
makes three ~Copy !req
1514. - Wednesday, Pugsley,
Lurch, you ring it ~Copy !req
1515. - Fester, Grandmama,
and Thing ~Copy !req
1516. - Wait, can't forget
cousin Itt ~Copy !req
1517. - Tag team raps
another party hit ~Copy !req
1518. - It's the Addams Family
movie thing ~Copy !req
1519. - Gomez, Morticia,
come on, sing ~Copy !req
1520. - Whoomp! Addams Family ~Copy !req
1521. - There it is ~Copy !req
1522. - Whoomp!
The Addams Family ~Copy !req
1523. - Come on, come on ~Copy !req
1524. - Whoomp! Addams Family ~Copy !req
1525. - There it is ~Copy !req
1526. - Whoomp!
The Addams Family ~Copy !req
1527. - Let me tell you,
it's the A-D-D-A-M-S ~Copy !req
1528. - The Addams Family,
y'all, yes, yes ~Copy !req
1529. - They're creepy, kooky,
mysterious, spooky ~Copy !req
1530. - As loony as can be
when you see the movie ~Copy !req
1531. - It goes on and on,
the madness won't stop ~Copy !req
1532. - Tick to the tock
around the clock ~Copy !req
1533. - Tag team kicks the floor,
really, though ~Copy !req
1534. - With the Addams Family,
so here we go ~Copy !req
1535. - Whoomp! Addams Family ~Copy !req
1536. - There it is ~Copy !req
1537. - Whoomp!
The Addams Family ~Copy !req
1538. - Hey, there it is ~Copy !req
1539. - Whoomp! Addams Family ~Copy !req
1540. - There it is ~Copy !req
1541. - Whoomp!
The Addams Family ~Copy !req
1542. - Come on, come on,
come on, come on ~Copy !req
1543. - Whoomp! Family ~Copy !req
1544. - Whoomp! Family, whoa ~Copy !req
1545. - Whoomp! Family, whoa ~Copy !req
1546. - The Addams Family ~Copy !req
1547. - Whoomp! Family, whoa ~Copy !req
1548. - Whoomp! Family, whoa ~Copy !req
1549. - Whoomp! Family, whoa ~Copy !req
1550. - The Addams Family ~Copy !req
1551. - Something's strange,
something's funny ~Copy !req
1552. - Nanny's got a plot
to get the family money ~Copy !req
1553. - Makes Fester
fall for her ~Copy !req
1554. - Thing gets wise,
spreads the word ~Copy !req
1555. - The family
comes to Fester's aid ~Copy !req
1556. - The plot is foiled,
no one gets paid ~Copy !req
1557. - It's the Addams Family
runnin' things ~Copy !req
1558. - Get back
while tag team swings ~Copy !req
1559. - Whoomp! Addams Family ~Copy !req
1560. - There it is ~Copy !req
1561. - Whoomp!
The Addams Family ~Copy !req
1562. - Yeah, come on, come on ~Copy !req
1563. - Whoomp! Addams Family ~Copy !req
1564. - There it is ~Copy !req
1565. - Whoomp!
The Addams Family ~Copy !req
1566. - Yeah, give it to me ~Copy !req
1567. - It's a family thing,
and it won't quit ~Copy !req
1568. - They keep it together,
y'all, and that's it ~Copy !req
1569. - They're not ordinary,
just strange ~Copy !req
1570. - Some say loco,
insane to the brain ~Copy !req
1571. - But you know
that you love 'em ~Copy !req
1572. - In a class
by theirselves ~Copy !req
1573. - None below,
none above 'em ~Copy !req
1574. - It ain't nothing
to be ashamed of~Copy !req
1575. - So give love to the folks
who go by the name of~Copy !req
1576. - Whoomp! Addams Family ~Copy !req
1577. - There it is ~Copy !req
1578. - Whoomp!
The Addams Family ~Copy !req
1579. - Yeah ~Copy !req
1580. - Whoomp! Addams Family ~Copy !req
1581. - There it is ~Copy !req
1582. - Whoomp!
The Addams Family ~Copy !req
1583. - Ooh-ee ~Copy !req
1584. - The Addams Family Theme,
I'm gonna kick it ~Copy !req
1585. - Step to the mic
like Cube and get with it ~Copy !req
1586. - Props to the number one
family of horror ~Copy !req
1587. - This song's for the movie
and the dance floor ~Copy !req
1588. - Tag team
always delivers the funk ~Copy !req
1589. - From the old school,
with the bump for the trunk ~Copy !req
1590. - And it umps,
with big bass on the low ~Copy !req
1591. - Like my homey all said ~Copy !req
1592. - You don't hear me, though ~Copy !req
1593. - Whoomp! Addams Family ~Copy !req
1594. - There it is ~Copy !req
1595. - Whoomp!
The Addams Family ~Copy !req
1596. - Yeah, give it to me ~Copy !req
1597. - Whoomp! Addams Family ~Copy !req
1598. - There it is ~Copy !req
1599. - Whoomp!
The Addams Family ~Copy !req
1600. - Yeah ~Copy !req
1601. - Whoomp! Addams Family ~Copy !req
1602. - There it is ~Copy !req
1603. - Whoomp!
The Addams Family ~~Copy !req
1604. - Express yourself~Copy !req
1605. - Express yourself~Copy !req
1606. - Ooh ~Copy !req
1607. - Express yourself~Copy !req
1608. - Express yourself~Copy !req
1609. - Express yourself~Copy !req
1610. - You don't ever need
help from nobody else ~Copy !req
1611. - All you've got to do
now, yeah ~Copy !req
1612. - Come on ~Copy !req
1613. - Express yourself,
come on ~Copy !req
1614. - Express yourself,
come on ~Copy !req
1615. - Let it out
of its creepy shell ~Copy !req
1616. - Because
you know you could ~Copy !req
1617. - Express yourself,
come on ~Copy !req
1618. - Express yourself,
come on ~Copy !req
1619. - Come on, people
Come on, people ~Copy !req
1620. - 'Cause you know
it's good, yeah ~Copy !req
1621. - Express yourself~~Copy !req
1622. - Breaking hearts ~Copy !req
1623. ~Just ain't my day ~Copy !req
1624. - It ain't my day ~Copy !req
1625. - All I want to do ~Copy !req
1626. - Is love you ~Copy !req
1627. - Well ~Copy !req
1628. - Sugar, I won't fill ya ~Copy !req
1629. - With regret, my love ~Copy !req
1630. - Yo, what you're lookin' for ~Copy !req
1631. - Is real lovin' ~Copy !req
1632. - Real lovin' ~Copy !req
1633. - No matter what you see ~Copy !req
1634. - Is what you get ~Copy !req
1635. - Ahh, baby ~Copy !req
1636. - What you see ~Copy !req
1637. - Yeah, is what you get ~Copy !req
1638. - Is what you get ~Copy !req
1639. - What you see ~Copy !req
1640. - What you see ~Copy !req
1641. - Is what you get ~Copy !req
1642. - Is what you get ~Copy !req
1643. - I said what you see ~Copy !req
1644. - Is what you get, now, baby ~Copy !req
1645. - Is what you get ~Copy !req
1646. - And real ~Copy !req
1647. - And the real thing ~Copy !req
1648. - Is the best thing yet ~Copy !req
1649. - The best thing yet ~Copy !req
1650. - Oh ~Copy !req
1651. - Oh, what you see ~Copy !req
1652. - Yes, why ~Copy !req
1653. - Is what you get ~Copy !req
1654. - Oh, oh ~Copy !req
1655. - You're so good ~Copy !req
1656. - I can't stand myself~Copy !req
1657. - Ah, ah, ah ~Copy !req
1658. - Is what you get ~Copy !req
1659. - Ooh, baby ~Copy !req
1660. - What you see ~Copy !req
1661. - What you see ~Copy !req
1662. - Is what you get ~Copy !req
1663. - Is what you get ~Copy !req
1664. - What you see ~Copy !req
1665. - What you see ~Copy !req
1666. - Is what you get ~Copy !req
1667. - Is what you get ~Copy !req
1668. - I said what you see ~Copy !req
1669. - Is what you get, now, baby ~Copy !req
1670. - Is what you get ~Copy !req
1671. - And real ~Copy !req
1672. - Is the best thing yet ~Copy !req
1673. - The best thing yet ~Copy !req
1674. - Are you ready for me? ~Copy !req
1675. - Whoo! ~~Copy !req
1676. - Do it, do it any way
you wanna do it ~Copy !req
1677. - Do it any way you wanna ~Copy !req
1678. - I saw you ~Copy !req
1679. - Do it any way
you wanna do it ~Copy !req
1680. - Do it any way you wanna ~Copy !req
1681. - I saw you, baby ~Copy !req
1682. - Do it ~Copy !req
1683. - Do it any way you wanna ~Copy !req
1684. - Do it ~Copy !req
1685. - Do it ~Copy !req
1686. - Do it any way
you wanna, wanna, wanna ~~Copy !req
1687. - Whoomp! Addams Family ~Copy !req
1688. - There it is ~Copy !req
1689. - Whoomp!
The Addams Family ~Copy !req
1690. - Whoomp!
The Addams Family ~~Copy !req