1. [ © anoXmous
@ http://thepiratebay.sx/user/Zen_Bud/
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2. Heads up! Good defense!
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3. Good defense!
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4. We're going downtown.
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5. Shut the hell up, you stupid mutt!
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6. What do you want?
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7. HDS, sir. How are you this afternoon?
Alrighty. I have a package for you.
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8. It sounds broken.
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9. Most likely. I'll bet it was something
nice. This is an insurance form.
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10. If you'll just sign here,
here, and here...
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11. we'll get the rest of the forms
to you soon.
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12. That's a lovely dog.
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13. - Do you mind if I pet him?
- I don't give a rat's ass.
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14. Oh, brother!
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15. That's fine. I can finish the rest.
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16. You just have yourself a good day.
Take care now. Bye-bye.
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17. Excuse me! HDS!
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18. HDS! Coming through!
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19. Got a package, people!
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20. Get away from the door.
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21. What's the matter with you?
I said, get!
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22. Son of a bitch!
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23. That was a close one!
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24. Unfortunately...
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25. in every contest
there must be a loser.
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26. Hungry, fellow?
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27. There you go.
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28. No problem. It gets flooded.
We'll just wait a few seconds.
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29. Or we can try it now.
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30. Putz!
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31. Come on!
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32. Get out! Get out!
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33. Assholes
are closer than they appear!
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34. Give me a push while you're back there.
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35. Alrighty, then!
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36. It's alive!
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37. It's alive!
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38. My little baby, come here.
You missed Mommy, didn't you?
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39. Yes, you did. Did Daddy hurt you?
I won't let him. No, I won't.
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40. He can keep the big TV, but he's not
gonna hurt my baby, no he's not.
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41. Thank you, Mr. Ventura.
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42. How can I ever repay you?
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43. A reward would be good.
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44. There is some damage to my car,
and I had to fill it with premium.
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45. Would you like for me
to take your pants off instead?
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46. Gee! Let me think.
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47. Sure.
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48. People are real friendly around here.
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49. Ventura!
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50. Yes, Satan?
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51. I'm sorry, sir.
You sounded like someone else.
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52. Never mind the wisecracks, Ventura.
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53. You owe me rent.
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54. Mr. Shickadance, I told you,
you're my first priority.
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55. I'm on a very big case right now.
Check this out.
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56. Look at that.
That's a true albino pigeon.
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57. Some rich guy lost it.
He's offering a $25,000 reward.
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58. As soon as I find this bird...
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59. you're paid.
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60. I heard animals in there.
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61. I heard them again this morning,
scratching around.
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62. I never bring my work home with me.
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63. Oh, yeah?
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64. What's all this pet food for?
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65. Fiber.
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66. Wanna take a look inside? Come on!
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67. Come on!
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68. Go ahead. Snoop around!
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69. Well?
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70. Are you satisfied?
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71. Just don't let me catch you
with an animal in here. That's all.
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72. All right.
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73. Take care, now. Bye-bye, then.
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74. Loser!
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75. Come to me, jungle friends.
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76. Roger, let me ask you one question.
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77. How in hell do you lose
a 500-pound fish?
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78. What?
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79. I'm sorry, I was just going to say...
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80. that it's not a fish. It's a mammal.
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81. Thank you, Miss Jacques Cousteau.
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82. She didn't mean anything by that.
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83. I don't give a good goddamn
about that fish!
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84. Fillet it and fast-food it
if you want to!
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85. All I give a damn about is
winning the Super Bowl!
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86. My athletes have got to have
their heads in the right place!
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87. Shit, Roger! You've been
in this business a long time.
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88. You know how superstitious
these players are.
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89. I have a quarterback that's put his
socks on backwards since high school.
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90. I've got a linebacker that hasn't washed
his jockey strap in two years...
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91. because he thinks flies are lucky.
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92. I want that fish on that field
Super Bowl Sunday.
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93. Find the fish...
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94. or find new jobs!
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95. Why did it happen now,
two weeks before the Super Bowl?
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96. I'll tell you, it's those
animal-rights activists!
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97. Always out with their signs:
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98. "Animals were born free!
Stop torturing Snowflake!"
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99. That fish lives better than they do.
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100. The police are checking into the animal-
rights groups. Have they called back?
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101. No, but I wanted to tell you,
when I lost my Cuddles...
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102. I hired a pet detective.
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103. A what?
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104. A pet detective.
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105. Thanks, Martha, but we better
leave this to professionals.
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106. Well, actually, he was quite good.
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107. Pet detection is a very involved,
highly scientific process.
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108. Like a glove!
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109. Mr. Ventura here to see you.
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110. Thanks, Martha.
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111. Hi, I'm Melissa Robinson.
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112. Pleasure to meet you.
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113. Any trouble getting in?
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114. No, the guy with the rubber glove
was surprisingly gentle.
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115. Security's tight Super Bowl week.
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116. Why don't you have a seat?
I'll get right to the point.
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117. Our mascot was stolen from his tank last
night. Are you familiar with Snowflake?
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118. Negative.
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119. We got him from Miami.
He's a rare bottle-nosed dolphin.
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120. This is a new trick he was
going to do for the halftime show.
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121. Let's go.
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122. Blue 42, blue 42!
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123. Hut, hut!
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124. All right!
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125. Come on, let's go!
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126. Good boy!
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127. Would you like an ashtray?
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128. I don't smoke.
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129. It's a disgusting habit.
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130. The police came today.
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131. Apparently, the kidnappers
came in through the back with a...
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132. Four-wheel-drive van,
loaded from the rear.
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133. Roger, how you holding up?
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134. If I'm walking funny it's because
I got two dozen reporters up my ass.
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135. They've been asking me
about Snowflake all morning.
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136. Who's he?
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137. Roger Podacter, meet Ace Ventura.
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138. He's our pet detective.
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139. Nice to meet you. You came very
highly recommended by Martha Mertz.
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140. Martha Mertz?
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141. Oh, yeah, the bitch!
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142. Pekingese, lost in Highland Park area.
She was half-dead when I found her.
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143. Is that the tank?
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144. Excuse me.
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145. - Cops drain it?
- Yes, this morning.
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146. If I'm not back in five minutes...
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147. just wait longer.
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148. Captain's log, stardate 23.9, rounded
off to the nearest decimal point.
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149. We've traveled back in time to save
an ancient species from annihilation.
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150. So far...
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151. no signs of aquatic life,
but I am going to find it.
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152. If I have to tear another black hole,
I'm going to find it!
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153. I've got to, mister!
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154. Oh, great!
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155. I'll try to head them off.
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156. Ace, get out of the tank.
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157. I just can't do it, captain!
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158. I don't have the power!
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159. People!
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160. I said, get out of the tank now!
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161. For God's sake, Jim,
I'm a doctor, not a pool man!
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162. Where's Snowflake?
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163. Snowflake is not available right now.
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164. Roger, I've been waiting all day.
I got to get a shot of his new trick!
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165. What, is he sick?
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166. People, people!
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167. Lassie must be missing.
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168. Make any good collars lately?
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169. Or were they leashes?
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170. Homicide, Ventura.
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171. How are you gonna solve that one?
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172. Good question, Aguado!
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173. First, I'd establish a motive.
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174. The killer saw the size of the bug's
dick and became insanely jealous.
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175. Then I'd lose 30 pounds
porking his wife!
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176. Come on!
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177. Now, kiss and make up!
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178. Excuse me.
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179. I'd like to ass you a few questions.
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180. This is not the time, Ace.
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181. If Einhorn come down here and see me
talking to you or your ass, I'm history.
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182. I can keep him under control. You have
to tell me who's on the Snowflake case.
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183. I can't do nothing for you on that.
My hands are tied.
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184. All right, that's it!
Now it's my turn!
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185. Five minutes alone, that's all I need!
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186. Better look alive.
Einhorn's on her way down.
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187. Come on, now. Ace, please.
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188. What's that matter?
Afraid I'll make a stink? Come on!
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189. Aguado's working the case, all right?
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190. Aguado!
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191. Good call!
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192. We're just a little busy now...
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193. with murderers and burglaries
and drug dealers. Things like that.
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194. A missing dolphin isn't exactly
a high priority.
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195. Now you've pissed him off.
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196. - Would you give me a break?
- I can't hold him much longer!
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197. My boss is coming!
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198. Okay, look.
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199. We ran a check with local
animal-rights groups.
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200. We checked out the taxidermists
and we already checked on van rentals.
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201. So far, nothing, nathin', nada.
All right?
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202. Any unusual bets being made?
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203. Of course! This is Super Bowl!
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204. - What'd you find out about the tank?
- Nothing.
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205. Tire tracks, an escape route.
A guard didn't see anything.
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206. - That's it?
- I swear.
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207. Now will you please get out of here
before I get in trouble?
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208. Thank you for your cooperation.
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209. By the way, do you have a mint?
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210. Perhaps some Binaca?
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211. Assholomio
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212. Osadomia
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213. Holy testicle Tuesday!
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214. What the hell is he doing here?
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215. I came to confess.
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216. I was the second gunman
on the grassy knoll.
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217. Spare me the routine. I know
you're working the Snowflake case.
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218. May I suggest you yield
to the experts on this one?
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219. We'll find the porpoise.
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220. Now I feel better.
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221. Of course, that might not do any good.
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222. Nobody's missing a porpoise.
It's a dolphin that's been taken.
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223. The common harbor
porpoise has an abrupt snout...
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224. while the bottle-nosed dolphin,
or Tursiops truncatus...
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225. has an elongated beak, cone-shaped
teeth and a serrated dorsal appendage.
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226. But I'm sure you already knew that.
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227. That's what turns me on about you.
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228. Your attention to detail.
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229. Listen, pet dick...
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230. how would you like me
to make your life a living hell?
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231. Well, I'm not really ready
for a relationship, Lois.
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232. But thank you for asking.
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233. Maybe I'll give you a call sometime.
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234. Your number still 911?
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235. Alrighty, then!
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236. Excuse me. Is Greg here?
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237. Thank you!
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238. What's the password?
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239. New England clam chowder.
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240. Is that the red or the white?
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241. I can never remember that!
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242. White?
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243. Hey, Woodstock!
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244. Hey, Saint Francis, how's it going?
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245. Super, thanks for asking.
I hope you're having a lovely day.
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246. Do you?
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247. Don't I?
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248. So what are you up to?
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249. Just watching the fishies.
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250. You see those blips?
That's a Norwegian whaling fleet.
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251. I'm sending them new
directional coordinates.
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252. They'll find Jimmy Hoffa...
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253. before they find any whales.
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254. Gravy! So can you still tap into
the aquatic supply stores in the area?
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255. Of course I can. Why?
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256. I wanna trace the sale of equipment...
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257. for transporting or housing
a dolphin recently.
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258. Come on, I thought you had
a challenge for me.
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259. All right, we got marine winch, sling,
feeder fish, 20,000-gallon tank...
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260. Wait a minute. Look here.
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261. That's a lot of equipment
for a civilian.
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262. Ronald Camp? The billionaire?
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263. Billionaire and rare-fish collector.
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264. Really?
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265. That is the face of the enemy.
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266. Always trying to get his greedy hands
on endangered species.
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267. Hold on.
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268. Camp is connected with the dolphins?
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269. That subgenius gave them the land
the stadium's built on.
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270. And look, he's throwing another "I'm
the richest man in the universe" party.
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271. Looks like it's time for me
to get myself a date.
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272. I'm really going out on a limb here.
His social events are strictly A-list.
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273. The date started good, Chuck, but before
we got to the party, she tensed up.
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274. If you do anything to embarrass me...
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275. What? Like this?
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276. Hi, Captain Stubing.
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277. How are Gopher and Doc?
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278. Permission to come aboard, sir.
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279. I'm sorry, ladies.
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280. Glad you could make it.
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281. Thank you.
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282. You look wonderful.
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283. And who is he, a friend?
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284. No, this is...
This is my date.
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285. He's a lawyer.
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286. Does he have a name,
or should I call him "Lawyer"?
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287. I'm sorry. This is Ace V...
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288. Tom Ace.
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289. Pleasure to meet you.
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290. Congratulations on all your success.
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291. You smell terrific!
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292. One of the first lessons we learned...
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293. back at...
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294. Stanford was the growth of food-
poisoning claims against wealthy-people.
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295. One could make quite
a lucrative law practice...
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296. with little else.
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297. How is everybody feeling tonight?
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298. Very, very well, thank you.
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299. Look, honey...
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300. there's the hors d'oeuvres.
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301. Are you insane? There is no way
that Camp stole Snowflake.
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302. What are you trying to do?
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303. Will you keep him occupied
while I work my magic, please?
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304. Smooshy, isn't it?
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305. We got a few cases
from my new dealer in Paris.
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306. Excuse me, Ron...
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307. I need to use the bathroom.
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308. I think it's the pâté.
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309. Sure, it's over there.
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310. Stuff probably looks better
on the way out.
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311. He wasn't feeling well earlier today.
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312. Gravy!
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313. Don't worry, Snowflake.
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314. Ace Ventura's here.
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315. Yummy!
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316. Snowflake!
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317. Here, Snowflake.
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318. I've got a snack for you.
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319. They're wonderful, aren't they?
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320. Yes, they certainly are.
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321. No matter what's going on in my life...
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322. I can always watch them swim...
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323. and be totally at peace.
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324. It's not Snowflake!
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325. It's not Snowflake!
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326. It's not Snowflake!
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327. Are you sure your date is all right?
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328. It's been an awfully long time.
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329. Who, Tom?
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330. Well, I'm sure he's fine.
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331. Do not go in there!
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332. I'm sorry. I'll have the plumbing
checked immediately.
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333. Do that! If I'd been drinking out
of the toilet, I might've been killed.
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334. I'm sorry again, Mr. Ace.
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335. What're you doing?
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336. I'm sorry, Ron.
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337. What's he doing?
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338. Let's go!
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339. Stop it!
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340. I don't even wanna know
why your pants are missing!
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341. You could've cost me my job!
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342. So you found a pebble
in Snowflake's tank. I'll call CNN.
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343. I found it in the filter, thank you.
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344. And it's not a pebble, it's a rare,
triangular cut orange amber.
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345. What're you talking about?
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346. Tonight I saw the same stone
in Camp's ring.
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347. I thought you said Camp didn't do it.
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348. No, his ring wasn't missing a stone.
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349. But whoever was in that tank
had a ring just like his.
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350. Ring? What ring?
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351. The 1984 Dolphin AFC championship ring.
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352. I find the ring with a missing stone,
I find Snowflake.
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353. How you gonna do that?
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354. Simple.
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355. Loser!
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356. Why don't you learn how to drive, pal?
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357. You wanna play?
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358. Damn it!
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359. That stone could've come from anywhere.
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360. It could've come from...
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361. a necklace or a pendant, an earring.
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362. It came from an '84 AFC
championship ring.
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363. Einhorn thinks it may have been
an animal-rights group. You know FAN?
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364. Free Animals Now, started by Chelsea,
daughter of industrialist Fisher Gamble?
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365. Over half a million members worldwide?
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366. No. Who are they?
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367. Did you know...
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368. they sent letters to college teams
demanding the release of their mascots?
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369. What do you feed your dog?
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370. Dog food. Why?
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371. He is miserable!
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372. What are you talking about?
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373. He's very unhappy. I feel sorry for him.
Bad diet, isolated environment.
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374. It's amazing he's still alive.
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375. You're just mad because your stupid
pebble theory didn't work out.
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376. You can't express anger.
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377. Yeah? And you're ugly.
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378. I'm not even gonna talk to you.
Would you please leave?
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379. Why? So you can beat him?
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380. Fatty!
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381. You're unbelievable!
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382. Hiring you was the biggest mistake
I ever made.
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383. Well, why don't you cry about it,
saddlebags?
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384. You like her, huh?
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385. Yeah, she's all right.
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386. Look, Melissa, I...
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387. I'm here at the North Beach Towers
condo complex in north Miami...
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388. where Roger Podacter, head of
operations for the Miami Dolphins...
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389. has apparently committed suicide...
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390. allegedly leaping to his death
from his 20th-story balcony...
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391. You okay?
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392. I told you. I was in my apartment...
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393. across the hall.
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394. I heard a scream...
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395. so I called the manager.
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396. The place was empty, except for the dog.
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397. I opened the balcony door
and looked out...
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398. splat, bang, pancake time.
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399. Okay, thank you very much.
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400. Hi there, fella.
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401. Have a bad night?
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402. So...
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403. animals can sense evil.
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404. Who let Dr. Doolittle in?
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405. Lieutenant, he came with Miss Robinson.
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406. This is police business. We'll let you
know if the coroner finds a tick.
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407. Face it...
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408. Forget it. She's right.
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409. Besides...
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410. I wouldn't want someone tracing
my steps, pointing out my mistakes.
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411. So...
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412. you don't think this is an obvious
suicide, Mr. Pet Detective?
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413. I wouldn't say that. There's plenty
of evidence here to support your theory.
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414. Except, of course, for that
spot of blood on the railing.
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415. May I tell you what I think happened?
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416. Alrighty, then!
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417. Roger Podacter went out after work,
had a few drinks, then came home.
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418. He wasn't alone. Someone else
was with him. There was a struggle...
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419. and he was thrown over that balcony.
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420. Roger Podacter didn't commit suicide.
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421. He was murdered.
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422. That's a very entertaining story...
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423. but real detectives have to worry
about that little thing called...
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424. evidence.
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425. I think I heard a toilet flush.
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426. Maybe somebody lost a turtle.
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427. Well, I...
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428. I guess I'm out of my league here.
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429. Good work.
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430. There is just
one more thing, lieutenant.
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431. This woman is Roger Podacter's neighbor.
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432. She said she heard a scream. Right?
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433. And you had to open
the balcony door when you came in?
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434. - That's true.
- You're sure you had to open this door?
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435. I'm certain.
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436. What's the point, Ventura?
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437. Only this.
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438. This is double-paned, soundproof glass.
There is no way...
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439. she could have heard
Podacter scream on the way down.
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440. The scream she heard
came from inside...
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441. before he was thrown off the balcony.
The murderer closed the door upon going.
Copy !req
442. Can you feel that, buddy?
Copy !req
443. I have exorcized the demons!
Copy !req
444. This house is clear.
Copy !req
445. - Losers.
- Get him out of here!
Copy !req
446. - Losers! Losers!
- Let's go, Ace.
Copy !req
447. Losers.
Copy !req
448. Come on.
Copy !req
449. Back to the zoo.
Copy !req
450. What are you thinking?
Copy !req
451. This whole thing is connected, somehow.
Copy !req
452. I want to find that other ring.
Copy !req
453. Ace, you checked all the rings.
Copy !req
454. Receipts? What about receipts?
Copy !req
455. There's gotta be receipts.
Copy !req
456. That was pretty impressive,
what you did at the apartment.
Copy !req
457. You don't have to tell me.
Copy !req
458. I was there.
Copy !req
459. Maybe you should've joined the police
force, become a real detective.
Copy !req
460. I don't do humans.
Copy !req
461. You really love animals.
Copy !req
462. If it gets cold enough.
Copy !req
463. No, I have a kinship with them.
Copy !req
464. I understand them.
Copy !req
465. Wanna hear something spooky?
Copy !req
466. Sure.
Copy !req
467. One time when I was about 12, I had
a dream that I was being followed by...
Copy !req
468. a big dog with rabies.
Copy !req
469. He had these bloodshot eyes...
Copy !req
470. and foam came out of his mouth.
Copy !req
471. No matter how fast I ran, he just kept
gaining on me and gaining on me.
Copy !req
472. Then just before I got
to my front door...
Copy !req
473. he jumped and sank his teeth in.
Copy !req
474. That's when I woke up...
Copy !req
475. and felt the back of my neck.
Check that out.
Copy !req
476. Bastard!
Copy !req
477. I'm sorry, I just couldn't help myself.
Copy !req
478. Want to know why I do this?
Copy !req
479. I'm not sure anymore.
Copy !req
480. You better be sure...
Copy !req
481. because once you get
inside my head...
Copy !req
482. there's no turning back.
Copy !req
483. So...
Copy !req
484. Are these all? There's only a dozen.
Copy !req
485. Maybe it's in another file,
in the back.
Copy !req
486. Who the hell is that?
Copy !req
487. What?
Copy !req
488. That.
Copy !req
489. Who the hell is that?
Copy !req
490. That's Ray Finkle, the kicker.
Don't you know who he is?
Copy !req
491. Why isn't he in this picture?
Copy !req
492. This was taken earlier in the year.
Ray Finkle wasn't added till mid-season.
Copy !req
493. He missed the final field goal
in the Super Bowl that year.
Copy !req
494. Cost the Dolphins the game.
Copy !req
495. But he got himself a ring, didn't he?
Copy !req
496. Definitely.
Copy !req
497. "Replacement kicker
having a great year."
Copy !req
498. "Ready for Super Bowl,
all-star kicker boasts."
Copy !req
499. "Field goal sails wide,
Dolphins lose Super Bowl."
Copy !req
500. "The kick heard round the world."
Copy !req
501. That was Finkle.
The Dolphins lost by one point.
Copy !req
502. Poor guy.
Copy !req
503. Poor guy with a motive, baby.
Copy !req
504. Where is he now?
Copy !req
505. I heard he went back
to his hometown in Collier County.
Copy !req
506. Really?
Copy !req
507. You're gonna drop me off before you go?
Copy !req
508. No way. You shouldn't be
left alone right now.
Copy !req
509. It might not be safe at your apartment.
Copy !req
510. What do you suggest?
Copy !req
511. Oh, my God!
Copy !req
512. Oh, my God.
Copy !req
513. Three times?
Copy !req
514. I'm sorry, that's never
happened to me before.
Copy !req
515. I must be tired.
Copy !req
516. Okay, I'm ready again.
Copy !req
517. I'm looking for Ray Finkle...
Copy !req
518. and a clean pair of shorts.
Copy !req
519. What do you know about Ray Finkle?
Copy !req
520. Soccer-style kicker.
Graduated from Collier High, 1976.
Copy !req
521. Stetson University honors graduate,
1980. Holds two NCAA records.
Copy !req
522. Most points and distance.
Copy !req
523. Nickname, "The Mule."
The only pro athlete from here.
Copy !req
524. And one hell of a model American.
Copy !req
525. Are you another one of them
Hard Copy guys?
Copy !req
526. No, sir.
Copy !req
527. I'm just a big Finkle fan.
Copy !req
528. This is my Graceland, sir.
Copy !req
529. Will you put that gun down?
Copy !req
530. The boy is a fan of our son.
Copy !req
531. So nice to meet you.
Copy !req
532. I'm Ray's mother...
Copy !req
533. and this is Ray's father.
Copy !req
534. It's a real honor!
Copy !req
535. It's an honor to have you here.
Copy !req
536. My Ray is so appreciative of his fans.
Copy !req
537. He'll be so pleased you stopped by.
Copy !req
538. Are you expecting Ray anytime soon?
Copy !req
539. Oh, yes. I expect him home any minute.
Copy !req
540. Would you like some cookies?
I just baked them.
Copy !req
541. Yummy!
Copy !req
542. Ray Finkle's house.
Copy !req
543. I can't wait to meet him.
Copy !req
544. Ray ain't coming home.
Copy !req
545. But your wife expects him any minute.
Copy !req
546. She expects him home any minute.
Copy !req
547. See, the engine's running
but there's nobody behind the wheel.
Copy !req
548. Eight years ago...
Copy !req
549. our son escaped from
Shady Acres Mental Hospital.
Copy !req
550. And they're still bugging us
to pick up his stuff.
Copy !req
551. It was all that Dan Marino's fault.
Everyone knows that.
Copy !req
552. If he'd held the ball laces out,
like he's supposed to...
Copy !req
553. Ray wouldn't have missed the kick.
Copy !req
554. Dan Marino should die
of gonorrhea and rot in hell.
Copy !req
555. Would you like a cookie, son?
Copy !req
556. What do you know?
Copy !req
557. They're little footballs.
Copy !req
558. Laces out.
Copy !req
559. When Ray gets back and starts
kicking again...
Copy !req
560. he'll never even know he was gone.
Copy !req
561. I've kept his room
just the way he left it.
Copy !req
562. Oh, boy!
Copy !req
563. What a sports nut, huh?
Copy !req
564. May I?
Copy !req
565. Oh, yes, by all means.
Copy !req
566. Five seconds to go here
in Super Bowl 17.
Copy !req
567. Dolphins trailing the 49ers...
Copy !req
568. by one. This will
win the game for Miami.
Copy !req
569. There's the snap.
Copy !req
570. Marino holds.
Copy !req
571. The kick...
Copy !req
572. and it's high. No, it's...
Copy !req
573. no good.
Copy !req
574. Ray Finkle blew a 26-yard field goal!
Copy !req
575. I don't believe it!
Copy !req
576. The Dolphins lose!
Copy !req
577. The Dolphins lose!
The Dolphins lose the Super Bowl!
Copy !req
578. - Melissa, it's Ace!
- Where are you?
Copy !req
579. I'm in psychoville, and Finkle's
the mayor. Where's Marino?
Copy !req
580. Why?
Copy !req
581. He's about to join Snowflake.
I've gotta know where he is!
Copy !req
582. He has a commercial shoot
at the Bogart Sound Stage.
Copy !req
583. Call the police. Get extra
security over there. Now!
Copy !req
584. Ace, what's going on?
Copy !req
585. Thought I left?
Copy !req
586. I'm really gonna go this time.
Copy !req
587. Here we go, folks. Very quiet.
Copy !req
588. Action!
Copy !req
589. I'm Dan Marino, and if anyone knows
the value of protection, it's me.
Copy !req
590. So I take care of the hands
that take care of me...
Copy !req
591. with Isotoner gloves!
Copy !req
592. Cut! Again from the top.
Copy !req
593. I said, cut!
Copy !req
594. Guys, it's a cut!
Copy !req
595. What the hell are they doing?
Copy !req
596. That's a cut!
Copy !req
597. - What is this, a rewrite?
- Shut up!
Copy !req
598. - Where'd they go?
- Over there!
Copy !req
599. Let's go!
Copy !req
600. Excuse me, gentlemen!
Copy !req
601. Pet detective!
Copy !req
602. Come on!
Copy !req
603. What's wrong?
Copy !req
604. Can't you hit me?
Copy !req
605. Have there been ransom demands?
Copy !req
606. There's no communication
with the kidnappers.
Copy !req
607. Will the Super Bowl be postponed?
Copy !req
608. The game is on as scheduled.
Copy !req
609. Why weren't we told
about the kidnapping?
Copy !req
610. Secrecy was essential.
We couldn't risk any interference.
Copy !req
611. - Are the crimes related?
- I'm sorry, I can't comment further.
Copy !req
612. Now, if you'll excuse me...
Copy !req
613. Get me the autopsy on Podacter!
Copy !req
614. Aguado, send out a memo:
No one talks to the press!
Copy !req
615. And somebody get me some coffee!
Copy !req
616. Tonight on Miami Vice,
Crockett gets the boss a coffee!
Copy !req
617. When I get out of that bathroom,
you'd better be gone!
Copy !req
618. Is it number one or number two?
Copy !req
619. I just wanna know how much time I have.
Copy !req
620. By the way,
I went ahead and solved that...
Copy !req
621. pesky Snowflake-Podacter-
Marino thing.
Copy !req
622. You ever heard of a former
Dolphin kicker named Ray Finkle?
Copy !req
623. All right, Ventura...
Copy !req
624. make it quick.
Copy !req
625. I found a rare stone
at the bottom of Snowflake's tank.
Copy !req
626. It belongs to a Dolphin '84 AFC
championship ring.
Copy !req
627. It would've been a Super Bowl ring,
but Ray missed the kick.
Copy !req
628. Blames the whole thing on Marino.
Copy !req
629. We're talking paranoid, delusional
psychosis. I saw the guy's room.
Copy !req
630. Cozy, if you're Hannibal Lecter.
Copy !req
631. So how does Roger Podacter fit in?
Copy !req
632. My guess is, Finkle was snooping around.
Podacter recognized him. End of story.
Copy !req
633. As for Snowflake, they gave him Finkle's
number, taught him how to kick a goal.
Copy !req
634. Finkle took it personally.
Copy !req
635. So where is Finkle now?
Copy !req
636. Busted out of a mental institute. He's
been plotting his revenge for years.
Copy !req
637. Waiting for the perfect time
to get back at them.
Copy !req
638. The time when it'd hurt them most:
Copy !req
639. Super Bowl time.
Copy !req
640. Man, I'm tired of being right!
Copy !req
641. Congratulations.
Copy !req
642. You've done some fine detective work...
Copy !req
643. Ace.
Copy !req
644. I'm sorry, could you
speak into my good ear?
Copy !req
645. I thought I heard you call me Ace.
Copy !req
646. Maybe I was wrong about you.
Maybe you are more than just a pet dick.
Copy !req
647. Your gun is digging into my hip.
Copy !req
648. What's wrong?
Copy !req
649. Want me to read you your rights?
Copy !req
650. Maybe later.
Copy !req
651. What is it?
Copy !req
652. That bony little bitch...
Copy !req
653. Melissa Robinson?
Copy !req
654. You just don't do anything for me.
Copy !req
655. Down, boy!
Copy !req
656. Everything okay in here?
I heard some commotion.
Copy !req
657. Fine, sergeant.
Copy !req
658. You want me to throw him out?
Copy !req
659. Why don't you throw yourself out?
Copy !req
660. Yes, ma'am.
Copy !req
661. Ace, I want you to leave
everything to us.
Copy !req
662. I can't do that, lieutenant.
I was hired to find Snowflake.
Copy !req
663. When we find Marino...
Copy !req
664. we'll deliver Snowflake.
Copy !req
665. When I find Snowflake...
Copy !req
666. I'll deliver Marino.
Copy !req
667. Melissa, it's Ace!
Copy !req
668. What are you doing here?
It's the middle of the night.
Copy !req
669. You have to commit me.
Copy !req
670. Finkle escaped from Shady Acres.
They still have his stuff.
Copy !req
671. They aren't gonna let us look around.
Copy !req
672. I know.
Copy !req
673. It's a good thing
I'm a master of disguise.
Copy !req
674. Mrs. Robinson...
Copy !req
675. I'm Dr. Handly.
Copy !req
676. Now who is it you want us to look at?
Copy !req
677. My brother...
Copy !req
678. Larry.
Copy !req
679. I'm ready to go in.
Just give me a chance!
Copy !req
680. I know there's a lot riding on it,
but it's all psychological.
Copy !req
681. Just gotta stay positive.
Copy !req
682. I'm gonna execute
a buttonhook pattern, super slow-mo.
Copy !req
683. Let's see that...
Copy !req
684. in an instant replay.
Copy !req
685. Your brother won't be
the first football pro we've treated.
Copy !req
686. - Is that right?
- Yes, we're very sensitive...
Copy !req
687. to the stress athletes
have to endure.
Copy !req
688. I'm open! I'm open!
Copy !req
689. I'm open!
Copy !req
690. We'll do some preliminary evaluations...
Copy !req
691. but I think he'll fit in nicely here.
Copy !req
692. Over here!
Copy !req
693. 351!
Copy !req
694. 351!
Copy !req
695. Rover, sit! Hut, hut!
Copy !req
696. He seems to have some difficulty
letting go of the game.
Copy !req
697. Has he had a history of mental illness?
Copy !req
698. As long as I've known him.
Copy !req
699. This is one of our therapy rooms.
Copy !req
700. And we do arts and crafts
out here in the courtyard.
Copy !req
701. And this is the storage room.
Down the hallway we have another...
Copy !req
702. Halftime!
Copy !req
703. He'll be fine there by himself
for the next 20 minutes.
Copy !req
704. I'll show you the dormitories, then.
Copy !req
705. Isotoners.
Copy !req
706. Obsess much?
Copy !req
707. Where are you going?
Copy !req
708. - To clean the storage room.
- No, clean the cafeteria.
Copy !req
709. I don't tell you how to do your job.
Copy !req
710. The schedule says...
Copy !req
711. - clean the cafeteria.
- I know what I'm doing.
Copy !req
712. You should've done it earlier.
Copy !req
713. Man, come on. Cafeteria, my ass!
I'm cleaning in here!
Copy !req
714. You take breaks too long. You smoke...
Copy !req
715. Man, you're a pain in the ass!
Copy !req
716. "Search called off for missing hiker."
Copy !req
717. "A search ended today
when rescue workers...
Copy !req
718. were unable to find the body
of Lois Einhorn."
Copy !req
719. A hiker missing since Friday?
Copy !req
720. Lois Einhorn?
Copy !req
721. Holy shitballs!
Copy !req
722. What're you doing out here?
Get back to work!
Copy !req
723. "Love, Roger"?
Copy !req
724. Ace, it's E.
Copy !req
725. You think the article you found
was something?
Copy !req
726. I got a note from Roger to Einhorn...
Copy !req
727. thanking her for a wonderful evening.
Copy !req
728. Something ain't stirring
the Kool-Aid, man.
Copy !req
729. Wiggles, rewind.
Copy !req
730. What the hell does Lois Einhorn
have to do with Ray Finkle?
Copy !req
731. Come on, think!
Copy !req
732. Finkle and Einhorn, in it together.
How? Why?
Copy !req
733. All right! Here we go.
Copy !req
734. Answer's right there!
Just gotta get blood to the brain!
Copy !req
735. Finkle and Einhorn! Finkle and Einhorn!
Copy !req
736. Finkle and Einhorn! Finkle and Einhorn!
Copy !req
737. Quitter!
Copy !req
738. What do you want?
Copy !req
739. I don't have any food for you.
Copy !req
740. I have to have money to buy food.
Copy !req
741. I have to have a dolphin to get money.
Do you see a dolphin here?
Copy !req
742. Let's face it...
Copy !req
743. your master is a loser.
Copy !req
744. What the?
Copy !req
745. That's it.
Copy !req
746. That's it!
Copy !req
747. Einhorn is Finkle.
Copy !req
748. Finkle is Einhorn!
Copy !req
749. Einhorn is a man!
Copy !req
750. Oh, my God!
Copy !req
751. Einhorn is a man!
Copy !req
752. "Your gun is digging into my hip."
Copy !req
753. God!
Copy !req
754. And the big story in this
Super Bowl game is the abduction...
Copy !req
755. of Miami's starting quarterback,
Dan Marino.
Copy !req
756. It's gotta be a strain
on this Miami team, Bob...
Copy !req
757. What's the matter, Dan?
Aren't you having fun?
Copy !req
758. I just love Super Bowl Sunday.
Don't you, Dan?
Copy !req
759. A magical afternoon...
Copy !req
760. where dreams are made...
Copy !req
761. and crushed.
Copy !req
762. Look, if you want tickets,
you're going about it the wrong way.
Copy !req
763. Do I look familiar to you?
Does it seem as if we've...
Copy !req
764. met someplace before?
Copy !req
765. I don't know.
I get hit in the head a lot.
Copy !req
766. Now the coin toss.
Copy !req
767. Kickoff time.
Copy !req
768. My favorite thing.
Copy !req
769. Laces out!
Copy !req
770. I made some refreshments, Dan.
Copy !req
771. Would you like some refreshments, Dan?
Copy !req
772. I'll be right back, Dan.
Copy !req
773. I don't know how much psycho-woman's
paying you, but I'll double it.
Copy !req
774. Sorry.
"Psycho-woman" keeps us out of prison.
Copy !req
775. Snowflake, here you go. Come on.
Copy !req
776. Check it out, Marino.
Copy !req
777. I'm throwing passes to a dolphin.
Copy !req
778. Damn!
Copy !req
779. Go get some more fish!
Copy !req
780. I'm gonna kill that dolphin.
Copy !req
781. Lovely party.
Copy !req
782. Pity I wasn't invited.
Copy !req
783. Where the hell's the smelt?
Copy !req
784. Unconscious. Exactly as I planned.
Copy !req
785. What the hell was that?
Copy !req
786. Shit!
Copy !req
787. What happened? What's going on?
Copy !req
788. You okay?
Copy !req
789. Guess what?
Copy !req
790. It's naptime!
Copy !req
791. What a hit!
Copy !req
792. Heads up!
Copy !req
793. Who are you?
Copy !req
794. Ace Ventura, Pet Detective.
I've been sent with a special play:
Copy !req
795. The quarterback sneak.
Copy !req
796. Penalty!
Copy !req
797. Too many men on the field.
Copy !req
798. I warned you, Ventura.
Copy !req
799. Whatever happened to "Ace"?
Copy !req
800. Good question.
Copy !req
801. Be careful with that phone.
In time, you could develop a tumor.
Copy !req
802. Aguado, it's Lieutenant Einhorn.
Copy !req
803. Send some men over
to the Hallandale yacht basin.
Copy !req
804. I've got the kidnapper
trapped in the warehouse.
Copy !req
805. It's Ace Ventura, Pet Detective.
Copy !req
806. Code 11 in progress,
343 Victorville Road...
Copy !req
807. at the Palmdale basin.
Copy !req
808. Officer needs backup.
Suspect's name: Ace Ventura...
Copy !req
809. should be considered
armed and dangerous.
Copy !req
810. It's Ace. We gotta break out of here.
Copy !req
811. Is he in trouble?
Copy !req
812. Don't worry, if there's
one thing I know...
Copy !req
813. there's nothing Ace can't handle.
Copy !req
814. Don't kill me!
Copy !req
815. Please!
Copy !req
816. I'll never tell anyone, I swear.
Copy !req
817. - He's who you want! Kill him!
- Kill him!
Copy !req
818. Kill him! He held the ball, remember?
Copy !req
819. Come on, look at him!
Copy !req
820. - Crybaby!
- Jock!
Copy !req
821. - Wimp.
- Musclehead.
Copy !req
822. Shut up!
Copy !req
823. I think I'll kill the dolphin first.
I wouldn't want you to miss that.
Copy !req
824. And there's the snap.
Copy !req
825. The kick!
Copy !req
826. And it's good!
Copy !req
827. Good to see somebody who
doesn't buckle under the pressure!
Copy !req
828. What would you know about pressure?
Copy !req
829. Well, I have kissed a man.
Copy !req
830. Of course, there's never been
a more crucial kick in a Super Bowl...
Copy !req
831. than the "kick
heard around the world."
Copy !req
832. I mean, it's clear to me that it was
a good hold. Finkle just booted it.
Copy !req
833. The laces were in!
Copy !req
834. They were in!
Copy !req
835. You like that?
Copy !req
836. You like that?
Copy !req
837. And that! And that!
Copy !req
838. Having a little trouble with the lady?
Copy !req
839. You don't understand...
Copy !req
840. she's a...
Copy !req
841. Get him, Lois! Get him!
Copy !req
842. Get him!
Copy !req
843. Shoot him!
Copy !req
844. - Shoot him!
- Hold your fire!
Copy !req
845. Don't shoot!
Copy !req
846. Put your guns down, or this cop gets it!
Copy !req
847. I mean it!
Copy !req
848. She's not joking!
Copy !req
849. He kidnapped Snowflake!
Copy !req
850. He killed Roger Podacter and was about
to kill Marino and me!
Copy !req
851. Fiction can be fun!
Copy !req
852. But I find the reference section
much more enlightening.
Copy !req
853. For instance...
Copy !req
854. if you look up...
Copy !req
855. professional football's
all-time bonehead plays...
Copy !req
856. you might read about a Miami Dolphin
kicker named Ray Finkle...
Copy !req
857. who missed a 26-yard field goal
in the closing seconds of Super Bowl 17.
Copy !req
858. You wouldn't read that Finkle
was committed to a mental hospital...
Copy !req
859. only to escape and join the police...
Copy !req
860. in a scheme
to get even with Marino...
Copy !req
861. whom he blamed for the entire thing!
Copy !req
862. What are you talking about?
Copy !req
863. She's not Lois Einhorn!
She's Ray Finkle! She's a man!
Copy !req
864. He's lying!
Copy !req
865. Shoot him!
Copy !req
866. Let's just see who's lying, shall we?
Copy !req
867. Would a real woman have to wear
one of these?
Copy !req
868. Boy, that's really on there!
Copy !req
869. But tell me this:
Copy !req
870. Would a real woman...
Copy !req
871. be missing these?
Copy !req
872. That kind of surgery can be done
over the weekend.
Copy !req
873. But I doubt very much...
Copy !req
874. if he could find the time
during his busy schedule...
Copy !req
875. to get rid of...
Copy !req
876. big old...
Copy !req
877. Mr. Knish!
Copy !req
878. Oh, boy!
Copy !req
879. Come here.
Copy !req
880. Would you excuse me for just one second?
Copy !req
881. Ladies and gentlemen...
Copy !req
882. my esteemed colleague, Mr. Marino...
Copy !req
883. brought new evidence to my attention.
Copy !req
884. Now...
Copy !req
885. history has certainly shown
that even the most intuitive...
Copy !req
886. criminal investigator can be wrong.
Copy !req
887. But if I am mistaken...
Copy !req
888. if the lieutenant
is indeed a woman...
Copy !req
889. as she claims to be...
Copy !req
890. then, my friend...
Copy !req
891. she is suffering from the worst case
of hemorrhoids I have ever seen!
Copy !req
892. That's why Roger Podacter is dead!
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893. He found Captain Winkie!
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894. Good night!
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895. You've been a wonderful audience.
Be sure to tip your waitress.
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896. Die, animal boy!
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897. Quick decision.
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898. Loser!
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899. You have any more gum?
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900. That's none of your damn business.
Stay out of my personal affairs.
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901. You're a weird guy, Ace. A weird guy.
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902. Ladies and gentlemen...
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903. the Miami Dolphins are proud...
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904. to welcome back
to Joe Robbie Stadium...
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905. our beloved mascot...
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906. and the star of our halftime show:
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907. Snowflake!
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908. And now...
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909. returning for the second half,
the Dolphins' most valuable player...
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910. Dan Marino!
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911. Idiot!
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912. Do you know what you've done?
You just cost me 25 grand, Polly.
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913. Yeah? Blow me!
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914. Really?
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915. The National Football League...
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916. would like to offer a special thank-
you to the man who rescued Dan Marino...
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917. and our beloved Snowflake.
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918. A great humanitarian...
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919. and a lover of all animals:
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920. Mr. Ace Ventura!
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921. Get off me!
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922. Get off me!
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923. Tone, put that big-ass size 13 on
and kick it for the homies.
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924. [ © anoXmous
@ http://thepiratebay.sx/user/Zen_Bud/
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