1. © anoXmous
@ https://thepiratebay.se/user/Zen_Bud
Copy !req
2. I always knew we
were a fairly odd family.
Copy !req
3. First there was me.
Copy !req
4. Too tall. Too skinny.
Too orange.
Copy !req
5. My mum was lovely,
but not like other mums.
Copy !req
6. There was
something solid about her.
Copy !req
7. Something rectangular,
busy and unsentimental.
Copy !req
8. Her fashion icon was the Queen.
Copy !req
9. Dad, well, he was more normal. He always
seemed to have time on his hands.
Copy !req
10. After giving up teaching university
students on his 50th birthday,
Copy !req
11. he was eternally available
for a leisurely chat or
Copy !req
12. to let me win at table tennis.
Copy !req
13. Yes.
Copy !req
14. And then there was Mum's
brother, Uncle Desmond.
Copy !req
15. Always impeccably dressed. He
spent the days just, well,
Copy !req
16. being Uncle Desmond.
Copy !req
17. He was the most charming and least
clever man you could ever meet.
Copy !req
18. His mind was on other things,
though we never found out what.
Copy !req
19. And then,
finally there was Catherine.
Copy !req
20. Katie. Kit Kat. My sister.
Copy !req
21. In a household of sensible jackets
and haircuts there was this,
Copy !req
22. well, what can I call her,
nature thing.
Copy !req
23. With her elfin eyes, her purple
T-shirts and her eternally bare feet,
Copy !req
24. she was then,
and still is to me,
Copy !req
25. about the most wonderful
thing in the world.
Copy !req
26. All in all, it was a pretty good childhood.
Full of repeated rhythms and patterns.
Copy !req
27. By the time I was 21,
we were still
Copy !req
28. having tea on the beach
every single day.
Copy !req
29. Skimming stones and
eating sandwiches,
Copy !req
30. summer and winter,
no matter what the weather.
Copy !req
31. And every Friday evening,
a film,
Copy !req
32. no matter what the weather.
Copy !req
33. And then once a year, the
dreaded New Year's Eve party.
Copy !req
34. Yeah, I might just get one.
Copy !req
35. You're absolutely gorgeous.
Copy !req
36. I'm Katie. What am I drinking?
Copy !req
37. This is very expensive stuff.
Copy !req
38. Cheers. Cheers.
Copy !req
39. Come on, it's nearly midnight.
Copy !req
40. We're all going through.
We're going through.
Copy !req
41. Look, I've gotta find you a...
Copy !req
42. God!
Copy !req
43. Everyone makes little mistakes.
It's fine. Come on.
Copy !req
44. 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
Copy !req
45. Happy New Year!
Copy !req
46. Happy New Year.
Copy !req
47. Sorry.
Copy !req
48. And so I woke up
the next morning,
Copy !req
49. hung-over, ashamed of myself,
Copy !req
50. and not realising
it was the day
Copy !req
51. that would change
my life forever.
Copy !req
52. Get up, stupid.
Copy !req
53. Dad wants you.
Copy !req
54. Hello. Sexy pajamas.
Copy !req
55. Tim, come in.
Copy !req
56. Do
Copy !req
57. sit down.
Copy !req
58. That's very formal.
Copy !req
59. Well, um, yeah.
Copy !req
60. This is an odd moment for me
Copy !req
61. because I had
the same moment with my
Copy !req
62. father when I'd just
turned 21, and after it,
Copy !req
63. my life was never the same, so I
approach it pretty, um, nervously.
Copy !req
64. Okay.
Copy !req
65. When you're ready.
It's all very mysterious.
Copy !req
66. Right.
Copy !req
67. Tim, my dear son, the...
Copy !req
68. The simple fact is
the men in this family
Copy !req
69. have always had
the ability to...
Copy !req
70. This is going to sound strange,
Copy !req
71. be prepared for strangeness.
Get ready for spooky time,
Copy !req
72. but there's this family secret.
Copy !req
73. And the secret is that
the men in the family can
Copy !req
74. travel in time.
Copy !req
75. Well, more accurately,
travel back in time.
Copy !req
76. We can't travel
into the future.
Copy !req
77. This is such a weird joke.
Copy !req
78. It's seriously not a joke.
Copy !req
79. So you're saying that you and
granddad, and his brothers
Copy !req
80. could all travel back in time?
Absolutely.
Copy !req
81. And you still do? Absolutely.
Copy !req
82. Although it's not as dramatic as it sounds.
It's only in my own life.
Copy !req
83. I can only go to places where I
actually was and can remember.
Copy !req
84. I can't kill Hitler or shag
Helen of Troy, unfortunately.
Copy !req
85. Okay, stop.
Copy !req
86. Um...
Copy !req
87. if it's true, which it isn't.
Although it is.
Copy !req
88. Although it isn't, obviously. But if
it was, which it's not. Which it is.
Copy !req
89. Which it isn't.
But if it was, how would I...
Copy !req
90. The?'How?' is
the easy bit, in fact.
Copy !req
91. You go into a dark place,
big cupboards are
Copy !req
92. very useful generally.
Toilets, at a pinch.
Copy !req
93. Then you clench
your fists like this.
Copy !req
94. Think of the moment
you're going to
Copy !req
95. and you'll find yourself there.
Copy !req
96. After a bit of a stumble
and a rumble and a tumble.
Copy !req
97. Wow.
Copy !req
98. Is as good a reaction as any.
Copy !req
99. I think I plumped for?'fuck!'
but it was the '70s.
Copy !req
100. No, this is
so obviously a joke.
Copy !req
101. It's not a joke.
Copy !req
102. Why would I lie to someone I'm
Copy !req
103. fairly fond of?
Copy !req
104. Okay.
Copy !req
105. But, when I come
back downstairs
Copy !req
106. after standing in a cupboard
with my fists clenched,
Copy !req
107. you're gonna be
in so much trouble.
Copy !req
108. Well,
let's see, shall we?
Copy !req
109. And, Tim, try and
do something interesting.
Copy !req
110. So much trouble.
Copy !req
111. I mean it. Really.
Copy !req
112. Right.
Copy !req
113. Wow!
Copy !req
114. You all right, Tim?
Copy !req
115. Yes. Yeah. Good, ace. Yeah.
Copy !req
116. Good, come on. It's nearly
midnight and we've got to find...
Copy !req
117. Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Copy !req
118. Whoo! Midnight.
Copy !req
119. 10, 9, 8, 7,
Copy !req
120. 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
Copy !req
121. Happy New Year!
Copy !req
122. Thank you, Tim.
Copy !req
123. You're welcome, Polly.
Copy !req
124. Does Mum know?
Copy !req
125. Not a whistle.
Copy !req
126. Strange. And what about the whole...
Butterfly effect thing. What can I say?
Copy !req
127. We don't seem to have
messed up civilisation yet.
Copy !req
128. It's gonna be
a complicated year.
Copy !req
129. It's gonna be
a complicated life.
Copy !req
130. What have you
done with it?
Copy !req
131. For me,
it's books, books, books.
Copy !req
132. I've read everything
a man could wish to.
Copy !req
133. Twice. Dickens three times.
Any first thoughts?
Copy !req
134. Well, I suppose apart from getting
a slightly better haircut... Yeah.
Copy !req
135. Money would be
the obvious thing.
Copy !req
136. Very mixed blessing.
Copy !req
137. Utterly screwed up
your grandfather's life.
Copy !req
138. Left him without
love or friends.
Copy !req
139. I've never bumped into a
genuinely happy rich person.
Copy !req
140. It would be nice
not to have to work.
Copy !req
141. No, that's a real
recipe for disaster.
Copy !req
142. Look what happened to Uncle Fred.
What happened to Uncle Fred?
Copy !req
143. Absolutely sod all.
Copy !req
144. Wasted his life.
Copy !req
145. You have to use it for
things that you really think
Copy !req
146. will make your life
the way you want it to be.
Copy !req
147. Come on,
really think about this.
Copy !req
148. Well,
Copy !req
149. to be honest,
I suppose, at the moment,
Copy !req
150. it would be just great if it
could help me get a girlfriend.
Copy !req
151. Wow.
Copy !req
152. Massive. Yeah.
Copy !req
153. The mother ship.
Copy !req
154. For me, it was always
gonna be about love.
Copy !req
155. And that summer I walked
into the eye of the storm.
Copy !req
156. Her name was Charlotte.
Cousin of Kit Kat's
Copy !req
157. handsome but
nasty boyfriend Jimmy.
Copy !req
158. And she was staying
for two whole months.
Copy !req
159. Just one. Not both of them.
Copy !req
160. Tim,
Copy !req
161. will you do my back?
Copy !req
162. Absolutely!
Copy !req
163. Very keen!
Copy !req
164. Whoa! No. No.
Copy !req
165. No. No, no. No, no, no.
Copy !req
166. Is it in my hair? Yes!
Copy !req
167. Tim. Will you do my back?
Copy !req
168. Sure. Just give us a sec.
Copy !req
169. Okay.
Copy !req
170. Thank you.
Copy !req
171. Now...
Copy !req
172. Ooh. Nice.
Copy !req
173. It's my area.
Copy !req
174. it was a summer of
suntan and torture.
Copy !req
175. I invited my foolish friend
Jay around for tennis
Copy !req
176. because I thought
he'd make me look good.
Copy !req
177. I was wrong!
Copy !req
178. What are you doing? No.
Copy !req
179. Charlotte just made both
of us look like idiots.
Copy !req
180. Bad luck, Tim.
Copy !req
181. How the hell are you meant
to concentrate on your game?
Copy !req
182. How are you meant
to live your life
Copy !req
183. with this sort of
shit going down?
Copy !req
184. It never got better
until suddenly
Copy !req
185. it was almost too late.
Copy !req
186. Well, Charlotte,
our final lunch.
Copy !req
187. No!
Copy !req
188. And it's been really, really
lovely having you all summer.
Copy !req
189. it has.
Copy !req
190. Thank you.
Thank you.
Copy !req
191. It really has.
Copy !req
192. Hasn't it, Desmond?
Copy !req
193. Beg your pardon?
Copy !req
194. Lovely having
Charlotte here all summer.
Copy !req
195. Charlotte? Who's Charlotte?
Copy !req
196. Come on, darling. Charlotte,
sitting next to you.
Copy !req
197. Yes, of course. Of course.
Charlotte. Hi.
Copy !req
198. Lovely to meet you.
Copy !req
199. Have you enjoyed having
Charlotte here all summer, Tim?
Copy !req
200. Yeah.
Copy !req
201. There goes August.
Copy !req
202. I've introduced him to
most things, haven't I?
Copy !req
203. You did. You were
much more sophisticated.
Copy !req
204. In a quiet way,
I like to think.
Copy !req
205. Come in.
Copy !req
206. Charlotte. Yeah!
Copy !req
207. As it's your last night,
can I ask you a question?
Copy !req
208. Yeah. Ask away.
Copy !req
209. No, wait.
Copy !req
210. It's not going to
be about love, is it?
Copy !req
211. Love? What?
Copy !req
212. Well, it's just that Kit Kat warned me that
if you were to ever mention it, I should be
Copy !req
213. very firm with you and tell you
Copy !req
214. you must treat me
like your sister
Copy !req
215. and not be stupid.
Copy !req
216. Or have I just made
a total fool of myself
Copy !req
217. and you were actually
going to ask me for
Copy !req
218. late night last
minute tennis tips?
Copy !req
219. No, it was the love thing.
Copy !req
220. Well.
Copy !req
221. That's very sweet of you.
Copy !req
222. It's just a shame you
left it till the last night.
Copy !req
223. You should have tried creeping along
the corridor while we still had time.
Copy !req
224. Okay, the?'last night?'
was a bad idea?
Copy !req
225. Very bad idea. It feels like an ever
so slightly insulting afterthought.
Copy !req
226. ?'Last night?' was
never going to work.
Copy !req
227. All right. Good. I've got it.
Copy !req
228. Come in.
Copy !req
229. Tim. Hi. Charlotte.
Copy !req
230. Hi. Sit down.
Copy !req
231. I know you've
probably suspected this,
Copy !req
232. but over the last month I've fallen
completely in love with you.
Copy !req
233. Now obviously
this was gonna happen
Copy !req
234. because you're
a goddess with that face
Copy !req
235. and that hair,
Copy !req
236. but even if you
didn't have a nice face,
Copy !req
237. and even if you had
absolutely no hair
Copy !req
238. because of some
bizarre medical reason,
Copy !req
239. I'd still adore you,
Copy !req
240. and I...
Copy !req
241. I just wondered whether, by any
chance, you might share my feelings.
Copy !req
242. Wow.
Copy !req
243. I tell you what.
Copy !req
244. Why don't we see
how the summer goes
Copy !req
245. and then you ask me
again on my last night?
Copy !req
246. Your last night? Yes.
Copy !req
247. Try me on the last night. See
what happens then, shall we?
Copy !req
248. It's exciting.
Copy !req
249. Right.
Copy !req
250. No, it's a perfect plan. That's
absolutely perfect. Last night.
Copy !req
251. Last night.
Copy !req
252. Thanks very much.
Copy !req
253. Night-night, Timmy.
Copy !req
254. Big lesson number one,
Copy !req
255. all the time travel in the world
can't make someone love you.
Copy !req
256. Bye!
Copy !req
257. So the love of my life
just drove away.
Copy !req
258. And the very next day
it was my turn to leave.
Copy !req
259. There you go. Don't
spend it all at once.
Copy !req
260. Thanks.
Copy !req
261. Don't call too often, your mother
doesn't like to be disturbed.
Copy !req
262. Okay. Thanks.
Copy !req
263. I caught the train to London in
search of a future and a girlfriend.
Copy !req
264. I was staying in St John's
Wood, near Abbey Road,
Copy !req
265. with a playwright friend
of my dad's called Harry.
Copy !req
266. It's always nice to have family connections
when you're a new kid in town.
Copy !req
267. What the fuck do you want?
Copy !req
268. I'm James's son.
Copy !req
269. Who?
Copy !req
270. James Lake. What about him?
Copy !req
271. He said you had a room.
Copy !req
272. Go in there and wait.
Copy !req
273. Quietly. I mean it,
don't make a sound.
Copy !req
274. Or I'll kill you.
Copy !req
275. I was actually having the first
good idea I've had for a decade
Copy !req
276. when you rang on the doorbell.
Copy !req
277. But now it's gone.
Copy !req
278. You little shit.
Copy !req
279. How's your dad?
Copy !req
280. Weird cock, I always thought.
Something weird about him.
Copy !req
281. Really?
Copy !req
282. Yeah, I never really
liked him, actually.
Copy !req
283. Your mum still
look like Andy Warhol?
Copy !req
284. What?
Copy !req
285. That, by the way, is my wife.
Copy !req
286. Nice.
Copy !req
287. Yeah, you wouldn't
like her at first.
Copy !req
288. Sarcastic cow.
Copy !req
289. But eventually
you'd realise that
Copy !req
290. she's the best human
being in the world.
Copy !req
291. Which is why she
left me, of course.
Copy !req
292. Here you go.
Copy !req
293. Try not to make too much noise,
particularly when having sex.
Copy !req
294. No chance of that.
Copy !req
295. Christ,
two losers in one house.
Copy !req
296. That is my daughter.
Copy !req
297. Have sex with her if you like.
Apparently everyone else has.
Copy !req
298. It wasn't a hopeful
set-up for romance.
Copy !req
299. And work didn't help
on that score either.
Copy !req
300. The world of law seems to
be entirely full of men.
Copy !req
301. Hello. I'm Rory. Very pleased to meet you.
A real thrill.
Copy !req
302. Well, who knows, we might become,
you know, pals, et cetera.
Copy !req
303. Who the hell are you? Tim Lake.
Copy !req
304. Well, I hope you're
better than this clown.
Copy !req
305. Come on, Roger.
Copy !req
306. It's Rory, actually.
Copy !req
307. I've been here
a year and a half.
Copy !req
308. I'm just saying that to be nice.
It's two years actually.
Copy !req
309. So six lonely months went by
and it was still just me and Harry.
Copy !req
310. Me lawyer-ing every hour
of the day and night.
Copy !req
311. And him putting the finishing
touches to his new play.
Copy !req
312. No matter how many girls
there were in the world,
Copy !req
313. I always seemed to
end up with Rory.
Copy !req
314. Hello.
Copy !req
315. Until, out of the blue,
Copy !req
316. on a dodgy night out with dodgy
Jay, something miraculous happened.
Copy !req
317. The waiters are,
Copy !req
318. wait for this,
right, they're blind.
Copy !req
319. You're kidding me?
Copy !req
320. I'm kidding you not.
No, as bats. As bats!
Copy !req
321. Very good to
have you here, gentlemen.
Copy !req
322. I hope you enjoy
your experience.
Copy !req
323. Carlo will show
you to your table.
Copy !req
324. Great. Lead on, maestro.
Copy !req
325. Can I have your right hand on
my right shoulder, please?
Copy !req
326. And your friend hold on to your shoulder.
Thank you.
Copy !req
327. Mind the stairs and
be prepared because
Copy !req
328. it's completely dark.
Copy !req
329. Okay, gentlemen,
if you don't mind,
Copy !req
330. I can sit you here beside
these two young ladies.
Copy !req
331. No, no.
Sounds absolutely perfect!
Copy !req
332. God,
you sound very perky.
Copy !req
333. I am. And very handsome.
Copy !req
334. Someone's there.
Copy !req
335. Hi. Hi. I'm Mary.
Copy !req
336. I'm Tim. Mary's my
mother's name, actually.
Copy !req
337. Does it suit her? Sort of.
Copy !req
338. Although she's sturdy, so Bernard
might have been a better fit.
Copy !req
339. Okay.
Copy !req
340. Something just
touched my elbow.
Copy !req
341. Okay, that wasn't me.
Copy !req
342. No. Well, that just makes it worse.
If it wasn't you, who was it?
Copy !req
343. it wasn't me because I'm
touching something else.
Copy !req
344. Yes, and you'll stop
that right away, thank you.
Copy !req
345. So, girls, be honest,
who is more beautiful?
Copy !req
346. - I am.
- Yeah. She is.
Copy !req
347. Excellent!
Copy !req
348. Actually,
I look like Kate Moss.
Copy !req
349. Really?
Copy !req
350. No. I sort of
look like a squirrel.
Copy !req
351. Do you like Kate Moss?
Copy !req
352. I absolutely love her.
Copy !req
353. In fact, I almost wore one of
her dresses here tonight. You?
Copy !req
354. No, no, her clothes
look terrible on me.
Copy !req
355. I cannot believe that it's
your birthday next week as well.
Copy !req
356. Your friend Jay is
quite enthusiastic.
Copy !req
357. I actually hate him.
Copy !req
358. What's Joanna like?
Copy !req
359. - She's basically a prostitute.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
360. I think it's strawberry mousse.
Ooh!
Copy !req
361. Do you want some?
Copy !req
362. Um... Okay. I'll try it.
Copy !req
363. Okay, where's your mouth?
Copy !req
364. It's...
Copy !req
365. it's here.
Copy !req
366. Okay. There?
Copy !req
367. My God, what was that?
Copy !req
368. That's my eye.
Copy !req
369. I think there's a lot of...
I've got quite a lot of
Copy !req
370. strawberry mousse
in my eye now!
Copy !req
371. I'm so sorry.
Copy !req
372. No. Thank you. That's
a new sensation for me.
Copy !req
373. So, maybe I'll see
you outside or...
Copy !req
374. Yeah. Yeah, great.
Copy !req
375. Great. Scary.
Copy !req
376. Yeah, it's a bit scary.
Copy !req
377. My God, I'm so in there.
What about you?
Copy !req
378. I don't know,
but she sounded wonderful.
Copy !req
379. Shh!
Copy !req
380. Joanna? Jay.
Copy !req
381. Christ, you're a babe.
Copy !req
382. How do you fancy
stretching the night
Copy !req
383. out a bit?
I can ditch the loser.
Copy !req
384. We've got to rush, but help me find a
cab and I might give you my number.
Copy !req
385. Of course. Yeah.
Copy !req
386. Or I might not.
Haven't decided yet. So...
Copy !req
387. I have. It's not gonna happen.
Copy !req
388. Hi. Hi.
Copy !req
389. Where's... She
and Jay just...
Copy !req
390. She took him to...
I don't know.
Copy !req
391. Right.
Copy !req
392. Well, I guess I'd better...
Copy !req
393. Would it be very wrong if I
asked you for your number?
Copy !req
394. No.
Copy !req
395. Just in case I ever
had to call you about...
Copy !req
396. Stuff? -
Copy !req
397. Okay.
Copy !req
398. Would you...
Copy !req
399. it's Mary.
Copy !req
400. Mary.
Copy !req
401. Okay.
Copy !req
402. I thought this phone
was old and shit,
Copy !req
403. but suddenly it's my most
valuable possession.
Copy !req
404. You really like me?
Copy !req
405. Even my frock?
Copy !req
406. I love your frock.
Copy !req
407. And my hair?
It's not too brown?
Copy !req
408. I love brown.
Copy !req
409. My fringe is new.
Copy !req
410. The fringe is perfect.
Fringe is the best bit.
Copy !req
411. Mary!
Copy !req
412. We have to go! I found a cab and his
dodgy friend is about to assault me.
Copy !req
413. Okay, I'm coming.
Copy !req
414. Two seconds.
Copy !req
415. I hope I see you again.
Copy !req
416. You will.
Copy !req
417. Okay. Good.
Copy !req
418. Goodnight.
Copy !req
419. What's happened?
Copy !req
420. What have you done,
you poor thing?
Copy !req
421. Nothing.
It's just a flesh wound.
Copy !req
422. Here. Thank you.
Copy !req
423. You may remember,
my play opened tonight.
Copy !req
424. My God, yes. How did it go?
Copy !req
425. Well. It went well.
Copy !req
426. You could tell in the room a
masterpiece was being unfurled.
Copy !req
427. Really? Really.
Copy !req
428. Until, and this is the
crucial plot point, I think,
Copy !req
429. until the lead actor had the most
massive dry in the history of theatre.
Copy !req
430. No, no, no. Yes, yes, yes.
Copy !req
431. He didn't just
forget his lines.
Copy !req
432. He forgot his lines
to the extent
Copy !req
433. that no actor has ever
forgotten their lines
Copy !req
434. before in
the annals of dramatic art.
Copy !req
435. The reviews won't say,'Major masterpiece
gets unveiled,'
Copy !req
436. they'll say,'Major
actor gets Alzheimer's.?'
Copy !req
437. it's a disaster.
Copy !req
438. Is an understatement.
Copy !req
439. It's the Titanic of play
openings, but with no survivors.
Copy !req
440. No women, no children,
Copy !req
441. not even Kate Winslet.
Copy !req
442. All dead.
Copy !req
443. Okay. I'll see what I can do.
Copy !req
444. What does that mean?
Copy !req
445. What are you gonna do?
Ring up every critic
Copy !req
446. in London and
offer them a blow job
Copy !req
447. if they ignore the fact that we sat
in total silence for half an hour
Copy !req
448. waiting for a moron to
remember one single line?
Copy !req
449. Not quite that.
Copy !req
450. Hello.
Copy !req
451. Hello, Sir Tom. I'm a friend of Harry's.
How's it going with the lines?
Copy !req
452. I'm sorry,
what do you mean?'the lines?'?
Copy !req
453. It's just, you know,
in the court scenes,
Copy !req
454. some of those lines
are pretty complex.
Copy !req
455. And I just thought maybe it
might be worth, you know,
Copy !req
456. having one last
look at the lines
Copy !req
457. before you go on.
A little refresher.
Copy !req
458. Fuck off out of here.
Copy !req
459. You arising lunatic. Get out!
You ginger twerp. Go on!
Copy !req
460. Patronising piece of...
Copy !req
461. And now the Defense.
Copy !req
462. I have lived
many weary years...
Copy !req
463. it's brilliant... but never,
Copy !req
464. in that long catalogue
of wasted time,
Copy !req
465. have I ever seen such an atrocious
miscarriage of justice.
Copy !req
466. Do the Prosecution have
anything final to add?
Copy !req
467. Sorry, excuse me. Sorry.
Copy !req
468. Do the Prosecution have
anything final to add?
Copy !req
469. Psst!
Copy !req
470. Gentlemen...
Copy !req
471. Gentlemen,
Copy !req
472. I regard today's proceedings
with the utmost gravity.
Copy !req
473. Nevertheless,
Copy !req
474. let us be clear of one
Copy !req
475. simple and salient thing.
Copy !req
476. It is the life
Copy !req
477. of a guilty man!
Copy !req
478. One of the actors appeared
to have actually fallen asleep...
Copy !req
479. Here's the little prick who
walked out halfway through.
Copy !req
480. You missed the best scene,
you little twerp.
Copy !req
481. Sorry.
Copy !req
482. What did you think of the set?
Copy !req
483. I thought it was incredible.
Copy !req
484. Did you? I didn't. Too brown.
Copy !req
485. Mary!
Copy !req
486. No.
Copy !req
487. She's gone.
Copy !req
488. Two girls in earlier tonight. One of
them the prettiest girl in the world.
Copy !req
489. The other one like a
sort of nice prostitute.
Copy !req
490. Did you get their names?
Copy !req
491. Yes. They left
a while ago. Let's see.
Copy !req
492. No, I'm afraid
they were walk-ins
Copy !req
493. and it appears
they paid by cash.
Copy !req
494. Sorry, sir.
Copy !req
495. That's okay.
That's fine, it's brilliant.
Copy !req
496. It's just the end of my life.
Thanks so much.
Copy !req
497. Cheer up, mate.
Copy !req
498. Apparently, you're living with
Britain's greatest living playwright.
Copy !req
499. I don't usually
read them, obviously,
Copy !req
500. but I couldn't resist this one.
Copy !req
501. ?'Harry Chapman
found guilty of genius.?'
Copy !req
502. I have to go out. Right now.
Copy !req
503. Why?
Copy !req
504. She loves Kate Moss.
Copy !req
505. Thanks for keeping
me company, Kittle.
Copy !req
506. Nothing better to do.
Copy !req
507. How's Jimmy?
Copy !req
508. Dumped me.
Copy !req
509. Not again.
Copy !req
510. And work? They've sacked me.
Copy !req
511. Idiots.
Copy !req
512. Coffee? Please.
Copy !req
513. I've only just noticed this cat
in this picture. See that cat?
Copy !req
514. I do see that cat.
It's very good.
Copy !req
515. My God.
Copy !req
516. My God!
Copy !req
517. What?
Copy !req
518. it's her.
Copy !req
519. It's her!
Copy !req
520. That's her!
Copy !req
521. Shh!
Copy !req
522. You go, girl.
Copy !req
523. Sorry.
Copy !req
524. Hi. Hi.
Copy !req
525. How are you?
Copy !req
526. I'm... I'm fine.
Copy !req
527. It's so good to see you.
Copy !req
528. Um... We've never met before.
Copy !req
529. No, fuck.
Copy !req
530. No, of course we haven't. No.
Copy !req
531. Sorry, I think you've
mistaken me for someone else.
Copy !req
532. No, no, no.
Copy !req
533. Your name's Mary.
Copy !req
534. That's distinctly weird.
Copy !req
535. How do you know that?
Copy !req
536. Well, you look like a Mary.
Copy !req
537. In what way?
Copy !req
538. My mum's called Mary.
Copy !req
539. I look like your mother?
Copy !req
540. No. You're much prettier.
Copy !req
541. It's a nice fringe, by the way.
Copy !req
542. God, it's new and
Copy !req
543. probably too short but... No.
Copy !req
544. Well, gee, thank you and
Copy !req
545. listen, it was
really nice to meet you.
Copy !req
546. I should probably go because
my friend's waiting for me
Copy !req
547. and you're a,
you're a total stranger.
Copy !req
548. Total stranger.
Copy !req
549. Yeah, it's crazy stuff.
Copy !req
550. Yeah, kind of. Okay.
Copy !req
551. Bye, Mary. Bye.
Copy !req
552. No.
Copy !req
553. How did it go?
Copy !req
554. It was very poor.
Copy !req
555. Very poor indeed, yeah.
Copy !req
556. You gotta go again.
Copy !req
557. You can do it. Take two.
Copy !req
558. She just always... She
always looks different.
Copy !req
559. Sorry. It's me again.
Copy !req
560. Hi. Sorry.
Copy !req
561. Joanna, this is...
Copy !req
562. Tim.
Copy !req
563. Hello. Nice to meet you.
Copy !req
564. Tim is a total stranger whose
mother's name is Mary.
Copy !req
565. I just had a weird
experience with Mary here
Copy !req
566. of thinking she was someone else.
But she wasn't.
Copy !req
567. But I just wondered if I
could walk round with you
Copy !req
568. for a while because my sister
Kit Kat is about to leave...
Copy !req
569. Yeah.
Copy !req
570. Bye... and...
Copy !req
571. And so,
Copy !req
572. I'm about to be quite lonely.
Copy !req
573. Right. Well, I think we
should probably say no.
Copy !req
574. No, yes. But on the other hand,
he's got a quite nice smile
Copy !req
575. and sort of,
you know, fun hair.
Copy !req
576. Yeah.
Copy !req
577. All right.
Copy !req
578. But you have to promise that you are
not one of the following things.
Copy !req
579. One, a lunatic.
Copy !req
580. Yeah. No.
Copy !req
581. Two, a fringe fetishist.
Copy !req
582. I'm just Kate Moss's
number one male fan.
Copy !req
583. God. Really?
Copy !req
584. Yeah. God, yeah.
Copy !req
585. Do you agree that the magic
of her lies in her history?
Copy !req
586. That the informality
of her early shots
Copy !req
587. compared to this stuff
so you just always know
Copy !req
588. that, despite the high
fashion, she's still just
Copy !req
589. that cheeky normal
naked girl on the beach?
Copy !req
590. Couldn't have put
it better myself.
Copy !req
591. That's absolutely it.
I agree with that profoundly.
Copy !req
592. Milk?
Copy !req
593. Yes.
Copy !req
594. Sugar? No.
Copy !req
595. Boyfriend?
Copy !req
596. Yes!
Copy !req
597. No. No, you don't
have a boyfriend.
Copy !req
598. Do I not look like
I'd have a boyfriend?
Copy !req
599. Do I look like I'd never
get a boyfriend? No.
Copy !req
600. That's the rudest thing
I've ever heard.
Copy !req
601. I didn't mean it like that.
I just didn't expect...
Copy !req
602. Is it quite a new boyfriend?
Copy !req
603. Yes.
Copy !req
604. There he is. Rupert.
Copy !req
605. Yes. He's so cute. Rupert?
Copy !req
606. Hi, guys.
Copy !req
607. Sorry I'm late, with my dad.
Copy !req
608. Hi, Rupee.
Copy !req
609. ?'Rupee?'?
Copy !req
610. Well, this is Tim and
Copy !req
611. we don't know him at all.
Copy !req
612. Hey, I was thinking we could
take in a film after this.
Copy !req
613. Get some mixed popcorn,
share a Coke,
Copy !req
614. snuggle. Okay.
Copy !req
615. Okay.
Copy !req
616. When did you two meet? Exactly?
Copy !req
617. Well, it was only
a week ago, actually.
Copy !req
618. It's all been a bit of a
whirlwind, hasn't it, poochy face?
Copy !req
619. I'm gonna have to teach you what you
can and can't say in front of people.
Copy !req
620. No?'poochy face?'? No.
Copy !req
621. No. Definitely not.
Copy !req
622. Come on, then. More details about
this wonderful first meeting?
Copy !req
623. Okay, okay.
Copy !req
624. It was, um, what... Joanna?
Copy !req
625. June 17th.
Copy !req
626. And Jo was
having a little party.
Copy !req
627. A living hell from which
Rupert, thank God, rescued me.
Copy !req
628. And where was
this terrible party?
Copy !req
629. My brothel of a flat.
Copy !req
630. Which is where, though? That's
the question, isn't it.
Copy !req
631. What are you, a detective?
Copy !req
632. No, sorry, I've just got
a very visual imagination.
Copy !req
633. I like to imagine
stuff completely.
Copy !req
634. 26 Court field Gardens,
SW5. Around 8:30.
Copy !req
635. Dress code, slutty.
Will that do?
Copy !req
636. Absolutely, yes.
Although I am wondering
Copy !req
637. when you got there, Rupert.
Early, late?
Copy !req
638. On time, I think.
True love was calling.
Copy !req
639. God.
Copy !req
640. I actually feel a bit
sick now. Just these
Copy !req
641. muffins, I think.
Never trust a blueberry.
Copy !req
642. Okay, I'll be back in a tick.
Copy !req
643. You two are such
a lovely couple.
Copy !req
644. Bit weird.
Copy !req
645. He's cute.
Copy !req
646. I like him.
Copy !req
647. Yeah, me too.
Copy !req
648. Hello. Do I know you?
Copy !req
649. No, no, no.
I'm a friend of Mary's.
Copy !req
650. She has another friend? Gosh,
you amaze me. But hooray.
Copy !req
651. Ooh. Hotdog?
Copy !req
652. Took me hours.
Made them myself.
Copy !req
653. Thanks.
Copy !req
654. Disgusting.
Totally undercooked.
Copy !req
655. See you later.
Copy !req
656. Why don't we go upstairs,
it's a bit quieter?
Copy !req
657. Hi. Hi.
Copy !req
658. I'm Tim.
Copy !req
659. Mary.
Copy !req
660. That's my mother's name.
Let's not get into that.
Copy !req
661. Um... I know this is forward but
Copy !req
662. your face tells me that you're finding
this party to be a living hell.
Copy !req
663. So, I just wondered
if you might come
Copy !req
664. and have a bite to
eat with me instead?
Copy !req
665. Right now.
Copy !req
666. I'm sorry?
Copy !req
667. Obviously, I should have
thought this through more.
Copy !req
668. Let's talk about Kate Moss.
Copy !req
669. I love Kate Moss.
Copy !req
670. I always think the key thing
with her is the history,
Copy !req
671. you know, the informality of her early
shots compared to high fashion stuff
Copy !req
672. so you always know that underneath
she's still just the same
Copy !req
673. cheeky normal girl
naked on the beach.
Copy !req
674. The beach.
Copy !req
675. I agree with you completely.
Copy !req
676. If we leave now then we can have,
you know, more than one starter.
Copy !req
677. I love your eyes.
Copy !req
678. And I love the rest
of your face, too.
Copy !req
679. More than one starter?
Copy !req
680. 10 amazing starters.
Copy !req
681. After you. Thanks.
Copy !req
682. Ten minutes is long enough
for any party, I think.
Copy !req
683. Yeah.
Copy !req
684. Especially that one.
Copy !req
685. Evening, all.
Copy !req
686. God! What a dickhead.
Copy !req
687. Yeah.
Copy !req
688. So, what do you do?
Copy !req
689. I'm a reader at a publisher.
Copy !req
690. No! You read for a living?
Copy !req
691. Yes, that's it. I read.
Copy !req
692. That's so great.
Copy !req
693. It's like someone asking,
'What do you do
Copy !req
694. for a living?'
'Well, I breathe.
Copy !req
695. 'I'm a breather,
I get paid for breathing.?'
Copy !req
696. How did you get that job? Okay,
smart-ass, what do you do?
Copy !req
697. I am a lawyer.
Copy !req
698. Sort of. Sort of.
Copy !req
699. That's sexy.
Copy !req
700. Is it?
Copy !req
701. I mean, I think so.
Copy !req
702. In a suit, in a court, saving
people's lives. Kind of sexy.
Copy !req
703. I guess it is. Although it's
not as sexy as reading.
Copy !req
704. Sitting there in an office,
in a little chair reading.
Copy !req
705. Okay, stop. Ooh!
Copy !req
706. Just wait right there,
mister, because
Copy !req
707. a lot of books get
submitted to my publisher.
Copy !req
708. So it's an immense
responsibility.
Copy !req
709. I bet it is.
Copy !req
710. But when you do normal reading,
Copy !req
711. is it ruined because it's your job?
You know, like prostitutes?
Copy !req
712. I always worry that when
they stop being prostitutes
Copy !req
713. that they can't
enjoy sex any more.
Copy !req
714. You always worry about that?
Copy !req
715. No, I sometimes worry about it.
Good. Okay.
Copy !req
716. Because someone who always worried
about that would be a bit of a worry.
Copy !req
717. When you read a newspaper,
do you think,'Forget this, it's work?'?
Copy !req
718. Have you interviewed
a lot of prostitutes?
Copy !req
719. When you read a menu,
do you think,
Copy !req
720. ?'No, I'm not reading this,
unless you pay me hard cash.?'
Copy !req
721. How many prostitutes will you need to
talk to before this issue is solved?
Copy !req
722. Are you planning to head to
Eastern Europe and Thailand?
Copy !req
723. Um... Would you like
to walk me to my car?
Copy !req
724. Yes. Why not? Okay.
Copy !req
725. Sounds like a good idea.
Copy !req
726. What about you?
Copy !req
727. Yeah, I have
three older brothers.
Copy !req
728. God. Yeah.
Copy !req
729. Where are they?
Copy !req
730. Behind you.
Copy !req
731. Did you have trouble parking?
Copy !req
732. Pardon?
Copy !req
733. It's just such
a long way to your car.
Copy !req
734. Well, my car's
actually parked outside
Copy !req
735. my house.
I got a lift to the party.
Copy !req
736. Okay.
Copy !req
737. That's good. That's perfect.
Copy !req
738. Okay.
Copy !req
739. And here we are.
Copy !req
740. My God. Yeah.
Copy !req
741. Car, house. House, car.
Copy !req
742. It makes perfect sense.
Copy !req
743. It's very logical.
Copy !req
744. Christ.
Copy !req
745. Um...
Copy !req
746. Keys!
Copy !req
747. I'm gonna go into the bedroom
and put on my new pajamas.
Copy !req
748. Right.
Copy !req
749. And then in a minute you can
come in and take them off.
Copy !req
750. If you want to.
Copy !req
751. One minute.
Copy !req
752. Hi.
Copy !req
753. God. Are you... Are you okay?
Yeah.
Copy !req
754. Sorry.
Copy !req
755. That's okay.
Copy !req
756. It's a front opener.
Copy !req
757. It's a what?
Copy !req
758. It opens from the front.
Copy !req
759. Yeah, no, yeah, of course.
Copy !req
760. Thanks. Sure.
Copy !req
761. Ooh! Well done.
Copy !req
762. I'm sure it'll be
better next time.
Copy !req
763. I thought it was pretty lovely.
Copy !req
764. Right, no,
it was really lovely.
Copy !req
765. In fact, can you
just give me one minute?
Copy !req
766. Okay.
Copy !req
767. Hi.
Copy !req
768. Dangerous.
Copy !req
769. You really know your bras.
Copy !req
770. I like to think so.
Copy !req
771. Well done. Some people make a
real mess of it the first time.
Copy !req
772. Amateurs.
Copy !req
773. Could you give me one second?
Copy !req
774. Sure.
Copy !req
775. I couldn't wait.
Copy !req
776. My goodness.
Copy !req
777. Best night of my entire life. And now
I've got a suspicion I'm gonna have
Copy !req
778. the best sleep
of my entire life.
Copy !req
779. So once is enough
for my perfect guy?
Copy !req
780. I'm not sure
that's entirely fair.
Copy !req
781. We're late. No, we're not.
Copy !req
782. It'll be fine. It's only...
My God.
Copy !req
783. Bye.
Copy !req
784. Don't worry,
you're coming with.
Copy !req
785. I'm taking you home!
Copy !req
786. Bye. Bye. Bye.
Copy !req
787. No!
Copy !req
788. Okay. I have some bad news.
Copy !req
789. You're dying? No, not that bad.
Copy !req
790. I'm dying? No.
Copy !req
791. My parents are in town. They're
visiting and they're coming around.
Copy !req
792. God. Parents?
American parents?
Copy !req
793. When? Now.
Copy !req
794. They told me and
I didn't tell you
Copy !req
795. and I thought they'd cancel because
they normally do and they didn't.
Copy !req
796. Now now? Now now.
Copy !req
797. So you should probably
put on some pants.
Copy !req
798. God. Okay, okay.
Copy !req
799. I'm
sorry, I'm sorry.
Copy !req
800. Do
they know I exist?
Copy !req
801. Yeah. I've mentioned something
like you, but nothing very specific.
Copy !req
802. Yeah, they're quite conservative,
so maybe not those pants.
Copy !req
803. Okay. Yeah.
Copy !req
804. God. Okay.
Copy !req
805. Could you just stall them.
Stall them.
Copy !req
806. Come on up.
Copy !req
807. What? I'm sorry, they
don't like waiting.
Copy !req
808. Okay. Do I live here?
Copy !req
809. Definitely not.
Copy !req
810. Are we having sex?
Copy !req
811. Yeah. But not oral.
Copy !req
812. I wasn't gonna mention oral.
Copy !req
813. Okay, good, don't. How did you
think that was gonna come up?
Copy !req
814. Could you help me
with this, please?
Copy !req
815. I don't know. If it does,
just deny it completely.
Copy !req
816. Who's gonna bring it up?
Your dad?
Copy !req
817. ?'Tim, had any cunnilingus
with my daughter recently?'
Copy !req
818. Well, you never know.
Copy !req
819. Okay.
Copy !req
820. Okay. Ready? Yeah.
Copy !req
821. They're there.
They are, yeah.
Copy !req
822. Yeah, right behind you.
Okay. Right, okay.
Copy !req
823. Dad! Hello, sweet.
Copy !req
824. Mom. Hi. Hi, honey.
Copy !req
825. This is Tim.
Copy !req
826. Hello, sir. Ma'am.
Copy !req
827. Should we come back when you
haven't got any company, or...
Copy !req
828. Well, that would be
quite difficult
Copy !req
829. because Tim
actually lives here.
Copy !req
830. Really? With you?
Copy !req
831. Yes. Yeah, but no
oral sex, I promise you.
Copy !req
832. I beg your pardon?
Copy !req
833. Excuse me.
Copy !req
834. So, Tim, tell us where are you
from, which part of the country?
Copy !req
835. He's from Cornwall.
Yeah, it's really pretty.
Copy !req
836. It's that little bit right at the
end, sort of looks like a shoe.
Copy !req
837. And you're a lawyer,
is that right?
Copy !req
838. Yep, that's right.
And he never loses.
Copy !req
839. You don't think he's gonna win, then he
just pulls something out of the bag and,
Copy !req
840. what do you know,
he wins again.
Copy !req
841. Do you ever answer
any of your own questions?
Copy !req
842. I...
Copy !req
843. Yes, he does. Usually he does,
Copy !req
844. but not today because I'm doing
Copy !req
845. all the talking
because I'm really nervous
Copy !req
846. and I kind of love him and I just...
I want you to, too.
Copy !req
847. Honey.
Copy !req
848. Sorry. Tim. Over to you.
Copy !req
849. Shoot.
Copy !req
850. Yeah, I think my dad...
Copy !req
851. Can I just say one more thing?
Um...
Copy !req
852. Thank God that's over.
Copy !req
853. I got given two tickets
Copy !req
854. for the National Theatre
tomorrow. Do you wanna come?
Copy !req
855. No, so not. I'm just
gonna sleep all day.
Copy !req
856. I don't see why going to the theatre
should get in the way of that.
Copy !req
857. Many of the best sleeps of my life have
happened in the Royal Shakespeare Company.
Copy !req
858. No, you take someone else.
Copy !req
859. I really like bed and
I really hate theatre.
Copy !req
860. Quite right.
Copy !req
861. But what kind of sad act is gonna
be free on a Saturday night
Copy !req
862. with no day's notice?
Copy !req
863. Bravo.
Copy !req
864. My God. It's Charlotte. Who?
Copy !req
865. It was my first love. Where?
Copy !req
866. There. Under the?'exit?' sign.
Copy !req
867. - The old woman?
- No, not the old woman.
Copy !req
868. The astonishing blonde.
Copy !req
869. The one with the dark hair?
No, blonde.
Copy !req
870. Blonde means
blonde hair, doesn't it?
Copy !req
871. Off the stage.
Copy !req
872. Okay, you stay there.
I mean it, stay!
Copy !req
873. Charlotte.
Copy !req
874. My God. Tim.
Copy !req
875. How fabulous to see you.
Copy !req
876. Wow. I... This is
my girlfriend Tina.
Copy !req
877. No.
Copy !req
878. That is so brilliant.
Well, hello, Tina.
Copy !req
879. Why is it brilliant?
Copy !req
880. Well, you know. There are certain moments
in your life that scar you for life.
Copy !req
881. Charlotte's rejection of me
was one of those moments,
Copy !req
882. but now I know she's
got a?'girlfriend,' well,
Copy !req
883. that's just a huge burden
suddenly lifted off my mind.
Copy !req
884. I can be a confident
heterosexual all over again.
Copy !req
885. Not that kind of girlfriend.
Copy !req
886. What?
Copy !req
887. You think I'm gay?
Copy !req
888. No.
Copy !req
889. No, of course not.
No. It's girl friend.
Copy !req
890. Yes. No. Wow.
Copy !req
891. Yeah, friend who is a girl,
which you so clearly are.
Copy !req
892. I'm just gonna go and get my
boyfriend, who is a boy...
Copy !req
893. My God. Tim.
Copy !req
894. How lovely to see you.
Look at you. Wow.
Copy !req
895. This is my girlfriend Tina.
Copy !req
896. Hello, Tina.
Although you should be
Copy !req
897. a little careful
with that, by the way.
Copy !req
898. There are still quite a lot of
us old fashioned types about
Copy !req
899. who interpret girlfriend
as meaning gay.
Copy !req
900. So if you say that Tina's your girlfriend,
people will assume that you're?'gay.?'
Copy !req
901. I am 'gay.'
Copy !req
902. Are you?
Copy !req
903. Do you have
a problem with that?
Copy !req
904. No, I don't. I love that stuff.
Copy !req
905. I'm just gonna...
Copy !req
906. Wow.
Copy !req
907. I've just seen the girl who broke
my heart three summers ago.
Copy !req
908. Let's go say hello.
Copy !req
909. No. Best let sleeping dogs lie.
Come on.
Copy !req
910. Best night of my life.
I always love this area.
Copy !req
911. It's so bustling and I mean
those pictures, full of colour.
Copy !req
912. Just makes me so happy when I'm
round here, all the colour... Tim.
Copy !req
913. Charlotte!
Copy !req
914. Tim, how lovely to see you.
Copy !req
915. What a surprise.
Copy !req
916. Wow. Sorry. This is
my girlfriend, Tina.
Copy !req
917. She's gay. Shut up.
Copy !req
918. Hello, Tina.
Copy !req
919. Look at you!
Copy !req
920. It just never
even occurred to me
Copy !req
921. you existed
outside of Cornwall.
Copy !req
922. We're about to
go and get dinner,
Copy !req
923. but it would be great
to hang out sometime.
Copy !req
924. Yeah, sure. I'd love that.
Copy !req
925. Send my love to little Kit Kat.
How is she?
Copy !req
926. She's okay. She's not finding
London totally easy actually.
Copy !req
927. Right. Well, Jimmy says
he sees her sometimes.
Copy !req
928. Really? Since when?
Copy !req
929. You knew there was
always something there.
Copy !req
930. Sorry, you are?
Copy !req
931. Very well, thank you.
Copy !req
932. Well, she means your name.
Copy !req
933. Roger. No, it's not.
Copy !req
934. No, it's not. It's Rory.
Copy !req
935. Nice to meet you, Rory. Yeah.
Copy !req
936. Right. Sorry,
we should get going.
Copy !req
937. It was really great to see you.
Copy !req
938. I'll see you soon.
You, too. Yeah.
Copy !req
939. Bye.
Copy !req
940. God, she is beautiful.
Copy !req
941. She's so beautiful, if you had sex
with her, you'd die. You'd just die.
Copy !req
942. You'd open her shirt, see her breasts
and your eyes would explode.
Copy !req
943. You'd have to have sex with her blind.
And then you'd die.
Copy !req
944. You notice she didn't
give me her number...
Copy !req
945. I told Tina to go have dinner on her own.
Are you hungry?
Copy !req
946. Yeah. Of course. Great.
Copy !req
947. Bye, Roger.
Copy !req
948. Yeah, excellent.
Copy !req
949. Thanks again for the play. Triumph.
Where do you wanna go?
Copy !req
950. Well, wherever you like really.
Copy !req
951. I can't compete.
Copy !req
952. You know,
Copy !req
953. I'm starting to think we slightly
wasted that summer holiday.
Copy !req
954. If we could
travel back in time,
Copy !req
955. maybe I wouldn't have said no.
Copy !req
956. I'm...
Copy !req
957. I'm just staying
round the corner.
Copy !req
958. Can you walk me home?
Copy !req
959. Yeah.
Copy !req
960. Yeah? Yeah, of course, yeah.
Copy !req
961. Well, here we are.
Copy !req
962. it's a lot nicer
Copy !req
963. inside.
Copy !req
964. I'm sure it is.
Copy !req
965. So... So...
Copy !req
966. So...
Copy !req
967. So,
Copy !req
968. lovely
Copy !req
969. to see you, Charlotte.
Copy !req
970. What a night.
Total joy, but I've gotta
Copy !req
971. get back
Copy !req
972. because there's something very important
that I have to do. Right now.
Copy !req
973. Wake up. Wake up. What?
Copy !req
974. Mary.
Copy !req
975. Would you like to marry me?
Copy !req
976. Shh.
Copy !req
977. Don't be so selfish,
I'm sleeping. It's bad.
Copy !req
978. Right.
Copy !req
979. That went very well.
Copy !req
980. Wake up.
Copy !req
981. What?
Copy !req
982. Wake up. Come and have a chat.
Copy !req
983. Why?
Copy !req
984. I've got something
important to ask you.
Copy !req
985. Can't it wait till morning?
Copy !req
986. Not really.
Copy !req
987. But I'm so comfy.
Copy !req
988. I was having
the loveliest dream.
Copy !req
989. What is it?
Copy !req
990. Why is there music on?
Copy !req
991. It's got something to do
with what I want to ask you.
Copy !req
992. Wait a minute.
Copy !req
993. Romantic music.
Copy !req
994. Guy with important question.
Copy !req
995. Are you on your knees?
Copy !req
996. On his knees.
Copy !req
997. Were you so bored in
the play you decided
Copy !req
998. to ask me to
marry you afterwards?
Copy !req
999. Something like that.
Copy !req
1000. Yeah. Exactly that.
Copy !req
1001. In fact,
Copy !req
1002. will you marry me?
Copy !req
1003. Any thoughts on the answer?
Copy !req
1004. 'Yes' 'No' Get out of my life,
loser.' They're all possible.
Copy !req
1005. I think I'll go for
Copy !req
1006. 'yes.'
Copy !req
1007. Thank you for asking me.
Copy !req
1008. And thank you for not going for one
of those melodramatic proposals
Copy !req
1009. with lots of people around.
Copy !req
1010. I hate other people.
Copy !req
1011. Me, too.
Copy !req
1012. Yeah.
Copy !req
1013. I'm just gonna
turn off the radio.
Copy !req
1014. Okay. Good idea.
Copy !req
1015. Thanks, guys.
Sorry, she's a bit tired.
Copy !req
1016. But we really appreciate it.
Can you go?
Copy !req
1017. Wow!
Copy !req
1018. That's so beautiful.
Copy !req
1019. I don't think we'll be staying
in the same room, somehow.
Copy !req
1020. Really?
Copy !req
1021. If they offer you tea,
just say no.
Copy !req
1022. Hello.
Copy !req
1023. Mum, this is Mary.
Copy !req
1024. Mary! Hi.
Copy !req
1025. Good Lord, you're pretty.
Copy !req
1026. No, it's just
Copy !req
1027. I've got a lot of
mascara and lipstick on.
Copy !req
1028. Let's have a look.
Copy !req
1029. Yes. Good.
Copy !req
1030. It's very bad for
a girl to be too pretty.
Copy !req
1031. It stops her developing a sense of humor.
Or a personality.
Copy !req
1032. Tea?
Copy !req
1033. I'd love a cup of tea.
Copy !req
1034. Christ,
that's the whole day gone.
Copy !req
1035. She's a very special guest.
Cup without the crack.
Copy !req
1036. Skipping stones.
Copy !req
1037. They've been doing this
since he was about this high.
Copy !req
1038. And what are your faults?
I mean, little weaknesses.
Copy !req
1039. I...
Copy !req
1040. Well, I'm very insecure.
Copy !req
1041. Sweet.
Copy !req
1042. Okay. I've a very
bad temper sometimes.
Copy !req
1043. Crucial. How else are you gonna
Copy !req
1044. get a fella to
do what you want?
Copy !req
1045. And, of course, I have...
Copy !req
1046. I have a weakness for your son.
Copy !req
1047. So do I.
Copy !req
1048. But best not to tell him.
Don't want him getting cocky.
Copy !req
1049. Pow!
Copy !req
1050. I'm so good
without the ball. Pow!
Copy !req
1051. What do you think of her?
Copy !req
1052. I like her more
than you already.
Copy !req
1053. Look, I'd forgotten this.
Jimmy Fontana Il Mondo.
Copy !req
1054. Greatest record ever
recorded by an ltalian
Copy !req
1055. who looks like he's got a
dead badger on his head.
Copy !req
1056. And you've got the album.
Copy !req
1057. Yes!
Copy !req
1058. Check out those specs!
Copy !req
1059. Come on, on with the game!
Right.
Copy !req
1060. And what an extraordinary
game this is.
Copy !req
1061. For the first time
a father and son
Copy !req
1062. are playing each other
in the World Table
Copy !req
1063. Tennis Final and
neither of them are Chinese.
Copy !req
1064. Tremendous play from the old
World Champion and his son,
Copy !req
1065. the first openly ginger
British table tennis player
Copy !req
1066. but there are signs the
youngster's beginning to crack.
Copy !req
1067. There are tears in his eyes.
There are not!
Copy !req
1068. There soon will be!
Copy !req
1069. Hey.
Copy !req
1070. Hey!
I didn't know you were here.
Copy !req
1071. Yeah. I just
popped down for a while.
Copy !req
1072. Okay.
Copy !req
1073. What about the job?
Copy !req
1074. So how long have you been here?
Copy !req
1075. Couple of weeks.
Copy !req
1076. Gosh! So, life in London...
Copy !req
1077. Horrid.
Copy !req
1078. Okay.
Copy !req
1079. Is Mary here?
Copy !req
1080. Yes.
Copy !req
1081. Where? Downstairs.
Copy !req
1082. You be gentle.
Copy !req
1083. Be gentle!
Copy !req
1084. Careful!
Copy !req
1085. Yeah, nice to see you, too. I'm
trying to make a good impression...
Copy !req
1086. Yeah, you make a good impression.
Copy !req
1087. Right, sorry. Sorry.
Copy !req
1088. I've got an important
announcement to make.
Copy !req
1089. Exciting.
Copy !req
1090. We've decided, after a little
bit of thought, to get married.
Copy !req
1091. That's wonderful news.
Copy !req
1092. Who are you getting married to?
Copy !req
1093. To Mary. Over there.
Copy !req
1094. Thank God for that.
Copy !req
1095. Jolly embarrassing if it had
been another girl. Imagine that.
Copy !req
1096. We're so pleased.
Copy !req
1097. No, sorry. Yeah.
Copy !req
1098. By the way, the wedding
will be quite soon
Copy !req
1099. because we're
having a baby, too.
Copy !req
1100. You're pregnant?
Copy !req
1101. Yes.
Copy !req
1102. Who's the father?
Copy !req
1103. Well, Tim, I hope.
Copy !req
1104. Thank God for that. Jolly awkward
if it had been another fellow.
Copy !req
1105. We have to decide tonight.
Copy !req
1106. What? Everything.
Copy !req
1107. The only thing
you've decided about our
Copy !req
1108. wedding is that I'm
coming down the aisle
Copy !req
1109. to the sound of
some ltalian weirdo
Copy !req
1110. singing a song called Il Mondo.
Copy !req
1111. Excellent song.
Copy !req
1112. To which I've said
a definitive 'no.'
Copy !req
1113. So here's the deal.
Copy !req
1114. I will take off one item of clothing
for every decision you make.
Copy !req
1115. Okay. You have my attention,
young lady.
Copy !req
1116. Right, um,
Copy !req
1117. where would you
like to get married?
Copy !req
1118. Home. I'd hate anywhere else.
Copy !req
1119. Okay.
Copy !req
1120. My God. Good.
Copy !req
1121. Who should the priest be?
Copy !req
1122. It'll have to be
the local bloke
Copy !req
1123. with yellow teeth and
the massive unibrow.
Copy !req
1124. Okay.
Copy !req
1125. That's a lock for Hagrid.
Copy !req
1126. Um...
Copy !req
1127. Best Man?
Copy !req
1128. Damn.
Copy !req
1129. Best Man. Now.
Copy !req
1130. No, this is so hard. It's lose-lose you know
You piss off all the
Copy !req
1131. ones you don't pick, and you end
up hating the one you do pick
Copy !req
1132. because he makes a bad
speech and ruins the day.
Copy !req
1133. Do you wanna see
these puppies or not?
Copy !req
1134. Yes, I do.
Copy !req
1135. Jay. It's your choice.
Copy !req
1136. He's my best friend,
but he's a moron.
Copy !req
1137. Yeah, he will
mess up everything.
Copy !req
1138. Rory. Sure?
Copy !req
1139. No, Harry.
Copy !req
1140. Harry it is. Let's do this.
Copy !req
1141. Rory. Sorry.
Copy !req
1142. What? That's such a cheat.
Copy !req
1143. Okay, fine.
Copy !req
1144. Honeymoon?
Copy !req
1145. Bed and breakfast in Scotland.
Copy !req
1146. I am not taking
my pants off for Scotland.
Copy !req
1147. But it's all we can afford.
Take off your pants.
Copy !req
1148. I will not.
Copy !req
1149. Take off your pants!
Copy !req
1150. I want
two weeks in Bali!
Copy !req
1151. Take off those pants!
Copy !req
1152. Have you planned a break? No.
Copy !req
1153. No! Is that you? It wasn't me.
Copy !req
1154. It's for you.
Copy !req
1155. No, I'm caught!
I've got it. I've got it!
Copy !req
1156. Help me!
Copy !req
1157. Yes!
Copy !req
1158. Right, follow me!
Copy !req
1159. My gosh!
Copy !req
1160. My God!
Copy !req
1161. God!
Copy !req
1162. it's a joke!
Copy !req
1163. Here.
Copy !req
1164. Yes, come on.
Copy !req
1165. This way.
Copy !req
1166. My God!
Copy !req
1167. Hello,
Copy !req
1168. I'm Rory.
Copy !req
1169. When Tim asked me to
be his Best Man, I was terrified.
Copy !req
1170. So I thought best
thing is to find
Copy !req
1171. a book about speeches.
And here it is.
Copy !req
1172. And it says think of
really funny anecdotes.
Copy !req
1173. And there is a very hilarious
story, actually from work.
Copy !req
1174. It was quite a complicated
case based on an issue of
Copy !req
1175. cross-amortisation
of ownership of
Copy !req
1176. post-divorce
properties and, um...
Copy !req
1177. Let me just explain the context.
The Defendant...
Copy !req
1178. When Tim asked me
to do his Best Man speech,
Copy !req
1179. my immediate reaction was,
Copy !req
1180. ?'How much are you gonna
pay me, you little shit?
Copy !req
1181. ?'l don't write
for free, you know.?'
Copy !req
1182. These were the girls available
to him at that time.
Copy !req
1183. ?'Hello, girls.?' And this is how
far he got with each of them.
Copy !req
1184. Let me explain the code.
5, blow job.
Copy !req
1185. 8, full penetrative...
and so a toast
Copy !req
1186. to the man with
the worst haircut
Copy !req
1187. but the best bride in the room.
Copy !req
1188. Ladies and gentlemen,
Tim and Mary.
Copy !req
1189. Tim and Mary.
Copy !req
1190. That's us.
Copy !req
1191. I wish I'd said 'l love you.'
Copy !req
1192. You did, Dad.
Copy !req
1193. It was implied.
Copy !req
1194. I'm not sure 'implied' is good
enough for a wedding day, are you?
Copy !req
1195. No, don't do it, it's fine.
Copy !req
1196. I'm so happy with it as it was.
You really don't have to.
Copy !req
1197. I'll do what
I wanna do, young man.
Copy !req
1198. Will you excuse me
for just one moment?
Copy !req
1199. later on I may tell you about
Copy !req
1200. Tim's many failings as a man
and as a table tennis player.
Copy !req
1201. But,
Copy !req
1202. important first to say the one
Copy !req
1203. big thing, I've only loved
Copy !req
1204. three men in my life.
Copy !req
1205. My dad was
a frosty bugger so that
Copy !req
1206. only leaves dear Uncle Desmond,
Copy !req
1207. B. B. King, obviously,
and this young man here.
Copy !req
1208. I'd only give one piece of
advice to anyone marrying.
Copy !req
1209. We're all quite
similar in the end.
Copy !req
1210. We all get old and tell the
same tales too many times.
Copy !req
1211. But try and marry someone
Copy !req
1212. kind.
Copy !req
1213. And this is a kind man
Copy !req
1214. with a good heart.
Copy !req
1215. I'm not particularly proud
Copy !req
1216. of many things in my life,
but I am very proud
Copy !req
1217. to be the father of my son.
Copy !req
1218. I'm so sorry to disturb you, but I
wonder if I could have your autograph.
Copy !req
1219. No. No.
Copy !req
1220. I'm at a wedding,
for God's sake.
Copy !req
1221. I'm here to
celebrate true love not
Copy !req
1222. scribble my illegible
signature on stupid
Copy !req
1223. bits of paper that
you can flog on eBay
Copy !req
1224. so that at the next wedding you
can wear a less hideous hat.
Copy !req
1225. I see you've met my Aunt May.
Copy !req
1226. God. People should
wear name tags.
Copy !req
1227. You next, Kittle Kattle.
Copy !req
1228. I don't know, Uncle D.
Copy !req
1229. Boys aren't very nice.
Copy !req
1230. Aren't they, darling?
Copy !req
1231. Not in my experience.
Copy !req
1232. They're always
taking liberties,
Copy !req
1233. not giving much back in return.
Copy !req
1234. It's yummy. Yeah?
Copy !req
1235. I like the way you say 'yummy.'
Copy !req
1236. Do you wish we'd picked
another less wet day?
Copy !req
1237. No.
Copy !req
1238. Not for the world.
Copy !req
1239. And so it begins.
Copy !req
1240. Lots and lots of types of days.
Copy !req
1241. Fun!
Copy !req
1242. Posy.
Copy !req
1243. Posy she is.
Copy !req
1244. The most beautiful
girl in the world.
Copy !req
1245. You want your daddy.
Yes, I know.
Copy !req
1246. Yeah.
Copy !req
1247. No one can ever
prepare you for
Copy !req
1248. what happens when
you have a child.
Copy !req
1249. When you see
the baby in your arms
Copy !req
1250. and you know that
it's your job now.
Copy !req
1251. No one can prepare you for
the love and the fear.
Copy !req
1252. She's lovely.
Copy !req
1253. You were such an ugly baby.
Copy !req
1254. More chimpanzee than child.
Copy !req
1255. I remember
the first time I saw you,
Copy !req
1256. I thanked God we were in driving
distance of London Zoo.
Copy !req
1257. Come on, hand over
the little bugger,
Copy !req
1258. let's see if she bounces.
Copy !req
1259. Yeah,
she definitely will bounce.
Copy !req
1260. Look.
Copy !req
1261. She can do anything.
Copy !req
1262. Look. Hello.
Copy !req
1263. Sweetheart.
Copy !req
1264. No one can prepare you
for the love
Copy !req
1265. people you love
can feel for them.
Copy !req
1266. And nothing can prepare you for
Copy !req
1267. the indifference of friends
who don't have babies.
Copy !req
1268. Do you wanna
go to Uncle Jay?
Copy !req
1269. No, thanks, it's fine.
It's great.
Copy !req
1270. And it's a shock how
quickly you have to move
Copy !req
1271. to a new place you
completely can't afford.
Copy !req
1272. Look what we found.
Copy !req
1273. Look who it is!
Copy !req
1274. Honey!
Copy !req
1275. Sorry.
Copy !req
1276. Suddenly, time travel seems
almost unnecessary,
Copy !req
1277. because every detail of
life is so delightful.
Copy !req
1278. What's his name?
Copy !req
1279. Horace, I think.
Copy !req
1280. Of course it is.
Copy !req
1281. Only one important thing
for a godfather, I'm told,
Copy !req
1282. never bring a present
smaller than the child.
Copy !req
1283. Shut up, you smug bastard.
Copy !req
1284. Don't worry, I didn't
bring anything at all.
Copy !req
1285. She'll never know.
Hasn't got a brain yet.
Copy !req
1286. I didn't expect to
see you here, Harry.
Copy !req
1287. Children's party's
not exactly your style.
Copy !req
1288. No, Mary, I was tricked. I was
told there would be free booze.
Copy !req
1289. I hate kids, as you know.
Copy !req
1290. Where's Kit Kat, by the way?
Copy !req
1291. I don't know, she said
she'd be here around 3:00.
Copy !req
1292. And you know we got purple
cupcakes for her especially.
Copy !req
1293. Here she is!
Copy !req
1294. Speak of the devil,
that will be her.
Copy !req
1295. We'll wait till
Aunty Kit Kat gets here.
Copy !req
1296. Hey. Jimmy.
Copy !req
1297. Where's my sister?
Copy !req
1298. Thought she was here.
Copy !req
1299. No, she hasn't arrived.
Copy !req
1300. That's not good.
Copy !req
1301. What does that mean?
Copy !req
1302. Um... We had an
argument this morning.
Copy !req
1303. Over nothing, but
she'd been drinking, so...
Copy !req
1304. And then she ran out to get
the car to come here and
Copy !req
1305. I told her to
meet me here so...
Copy !req
1306. There's a song by Baz
Luhrmann called Sunscreen.
Copy !req
1307. He says worrying
about the future
Copy !req
1308. is as effective
as trying to solve
Copy !req
1309. an algebra equation
by chewing bubble gum.
Copy !req
1310. The real troubles in your life
Copy !req
1311. will always be things that never
crossed your worried mind.
Copy !req
1312. What happened?
Copy !req
1313. We had a fight.
Copy !req
1314. And,
Copy !req
1315. maybe I wasn't
completely sober.
Copy !req
1316. How is she? Not good.
Copy !req
1317. When did she leave you?
From where?
Copy !req
1318. I want it exact.
Exact time. Exact address.
Copy !req
1319. Here we are. Sorry, sorry.
Copy !req
1320. Come on.
Copy !req
1321. God.
Copy !req
1322. Hi. There she is.
Copy !req
1323. Does a small baby live here?
Copy !req
1324. Yes, and she's so excited.
She's downstairs.
Copy !req
1325. Happy birthday, Posy.
Copy !req
1326. I'm sorry.
I had to pick up Kit Kat.
Copy !req
1327. I thought she was
gonna drive herself.
Copy !req
1328. Turns out she couldn't.
Copy !req
1329. She okay? Later.
Copy !req
1330. I'm worried about Kit Kat.
Copy !req
1331. Yeah. I know.
Copy !req
1332. She was drinking wine
while we were drinking tea.
Copy !req
1333. And Jimmy wasn't nice to her.
Copy !req
1334. And she spurned
the purple cupcakes.
Copy !req
1335. We have to do
something to fix it.
Copy !req
1336. Yeah.
Copy !req
1337. But, you know,
Copy !req
1338. if it's gonna be fixed, I think she
probably has to do it herself.
Copy !req
1339. Maybe.
Copy !req
1340. Maybe not.
Copy !req
1341. My darling. What's happened?
Copy !req
1342. You're the best
person in the world.
Copy !req
1343. You're top equal with
my wife. I don't get it.
Copy !req
1344. Maybe, just maybe,
Copy !req
1345. I'm the faller.
Copy !req
1346. Every family has,
like, someone who falls,
Copy !req
1347. who doesn't make the grade,
who stumbles,
Copy !req
1348. who life trips up.
Copy !req
1349. Maybe I'm our faller.
Copy !req
1350. No.
Copy !req
1351. Okay. I'm gonna
tell you a secret.
Copy !req
1352. And you have to
promise to keep it.
Copy !req
1353. We've always kept secrets.
Copy !req
1354. We have?
Copy !req
1355. You promise you
won't ever, ever, ever,
Copy !req
1356. ever, ever, ever, ever,
Copy !req
1357. ever, ever, ever, ever tell?
Copy !req
1358. Yes.
Copy !req
1359. I can travel in time.
Copy !req
1360. Why are we standing in the
cupboard under the stairs?
Copy !req
1361. Because we're gonna go back in time and
you're gonna do some things differently.
Copy !req
1362. I love it when you're funny.
Copy !req
1363. Grab my hand. Close your eyes.
Copy !req
1364. My God! My God!
Copy !req
1365. My arsing God in a box.
Copy !req
1366. You're kidding?
Copy !req
1367. I can go anywhere in time and you bring
me back to the worst party of all time.
Copy !req
1368. 'Fraid so. Let's go.
Copy !req
1369. We've got work to do.
Copy !req
1370. What work?
Copy !req
1371. Making sure you do
not meet Jimmy Kincade.
Copy !req
1372. Quick, in here.
Copy !req
1373. But he's about to
fall in love with me!
Copy !req
1374. Not this time he isn't.
Copy !req
1375. Who's the pretty looking girl?
It's Jennifer, isn't it?
Copy !req
1376. Yeah.
Copy !req
1377. Wild!
Copy !req
1378. I like your skirt, Jennifer.
Copy !req
1379. Thank you.
Copy !req
1380. Right, I get it.
Copy !req
1381. If he hadn't met me, he would have
just had sex with someone else.
Copy !req
1382. Nip it in the bud?
Copy !req
1383. Excuse me, Jimmy.
Copy !req
1384. Sorry. Do I know you?
Copy !req
1385. Yeah, you do.
Copy !req
1386. Very well. Sorry.
Copy !req
1387. And this is what I should
have done right at the start.
Copy !req
1388. Happy New Year, everybody.
Happy New Year.
Copy !req
1389. And back to the cupboard.
Copy !req
1390. Amazing!
Copy !req
1391. What happens now?
Copy !req
1392. God knows.
Copy !req
1393. What I'm hoping is that from
this moment on you avoid
Copy !req
1394. the sleazy bad guys because
they're sleazy and bad.
Copy !req
1395. When did you get so serious?
Copy !req
1396. Since it occurred to me
that I might lose you.
Copy !req
1397. Brace yourself,
this could be weird.
Copy !req
1398. Things will have changed.
Copy !req
1399. My God.
Copy !req
1400. What?
Copy !req
1401. Jay.
Copy !req
1402. Jay Jay? Yes.
Copy !req
1403. And he's adorable. My God.
Copy !req
1404. Right,
Copy !req
1405. let's do this.
Copy !req
1406. Come on, you two.
Copy !req
1407. Mum's just cracked open
a packet of biscuits.
Copy !req
1408. I've got
something in mind for you.
Copy !req
1409. I know
what you're gonna say.
Copy !req
1410. Have a biscuit and
come and help me.
Copy !req
1411. But leave the rest for Uncle D.
Copy !req
1412. It's just tidying really.
Copy !req
1413. You all right? I missed you.
Yeah.
Copy !req
1414. Your mum wants me to do
some gardening. Okay.
Copy !req
1415. it's tidying up, it's
all a bit out of control.
Copy !req
1416. Anything that looks dead, out.
Copy !req
1417. This is what we're looking for.
Okay? All this.
Copy !req
1418. Dead stuff. See this.
Copy !req
1419. They've torn them
to shreds, haven't they?
Copy !req
1420. How did everything go?
Copy !req
1421. Immensely satisfactory.
Copy !req
1422. I'm so happy. I wanna
hear all about it.
Copy !req
1423. Will you do dinner for us
because there's something
Copy !req
1424. I have to do before
6:00 or I'll get fired?
Copy !req
1425. Yeah. I can't think of
anything I'd love to do more.
Copy !req
1426. Okay, where is the most
fabulous person in the world?
Copy !req
1427. Come to your dad and get mashed
up food shoved into your mouth!
Copy !req
1428. Hello there, little boy.
Copy !req
1429. You just
Copy !req
1430. wait there and I'll
be back in a minute.
Copy !req
1431. Dad, can I have a quick word?
Copy !req
1432. Yeah. Sure.
Copy !req
1433. I can't go back past
the birth again, can I?
Copy !req
1434. No. I should have
mentioned that.
Copy !req
1435. You're okay till it
comes out but the exact
Copy !req
1436. sperm at the exact
moment got you this
Copy !req
1437. particular baby,
Copy !req
1438. so if you do anything
the tiniest bit
Copy !req
1439. different, you'll
have a different child.
Copy !req
1440. So, every day until yesterday
is as it will always be? Lost?
Copy !req
1441. Just like for everyone else.
Copy !req
1442. Okay. Interesting.
Copy !req
1443. Tough. I love you, Dad.
I've gotta go.
Copy !req
1444. No.
Copy !req
1445. We're not leaving
this room until we find
Copy !req
1446. a way of making sure
this never happens again.
Copy !req
1447. Will you go now?
Copy !req
1448. I have to leave Jimmy, don't I?
Copy !req
1449. For good.
Copy !req
1450. And I have to stop drinking.
Copy !req
1451. And stop leaving jobs.
Copy !req
1452. And I have to
go out with someone
Copy !req
1453. nice and boring.
Copy !req
1454. Yap.
Copy !req
1455. And, you know, nice
isn't necessarily boring.
Copy !req
1456. Like who?
Copy !req
1457. Matt Damon?
Copy !req
1458. Okay.
Copy !req
1459. I'll go out with Matt Damon.
Copy !req
1460. Tell me,
have you seen Jay recently?
Copy !req
1461. Your Jay? What, sticky-up hair Jay?
Looks a bit like a Muppet Jay?
Copy !req
1462. Yes.
Copy !req
1463. He just popped into my head.
He's always had a crush on you.
Copy !req
1464. Really? Yeah.
Copy !req
1465. Weird!
Copy !req
1466. Thinking of asking him to dinner.
Are you free?
Copy !req
1467. Might be. Might have to
freshen up a bit first.
Copy !req
1468. Yeah. You look shit.
Copy !req
1469. Joanna.
Copy !req
1470. Thank Christ you're back.
Copy !req
1471. It's been a total nightmare.
Copy !req
1472. I know. It's all fine anyway.
Copy !req
1473. Where is she?
Copy !req
1474. it was the single worst night of my life.
Where's Posy?
Copy !req
1475. There she is! Hello!
Copy !req
1476. Hello! Hello.
Copy !req
1477. Darling, how are you doing?
Copy !req
1478. Let's have another one.
Copy !req
1479. Screw that. No.
Copy !req
1480. That hurt and I got fat.
Like fat-fat.
Copy !req
1481. Got a little
bit fat, didn't she.
Copy !req
1482. Tell Mummy you want a sister.
Copy !req
1483. No. Tell Daddy you're happy
being an only child.
Copy !req
1484. Fortunately we are
young and careless and
Copy !req
1485. it wasn't long before
there were four of us.
Copy !req
1486. And this is incredible. Posy
Lake, only 3 years old,
Copy !req
1487. is about to break the women's
10 meter Olympic record.
Copy !req
1488. They're gonna do it. And here they
are, they've done it! Fantastic.
Copy !req
1489. That was brilliant.
You're so good.
Copy !req
1490. Sleeping right
through all that.
Copy !req
1491. Can you help me?
I'm so nervous.
Copy !req
1492. What do I wear for dinner
with our bestselling author?
Copy !req
1493. Let me finish up with the
monsters and I'll come right up.
Copy !req
1494. Great. Thank you.
Copy !req
1495. Go again.
Copy !req
1496. Okay. How about this?
Copy !req
1497. That's gorgeous.
Job done. Yeah.
Copy !req
1498. No. Take it seriously. It's...
Copy !req
1499. I don't know. No, I hate it.
Copy !req
1500. Yeah. It's boring and
Copy !req
1501. makes me look kind of lumpy.
Copy !req
1502. No, you're right. It is boring and lumpy.
I hate it.
Copy !req
1503. Okay. What about this?
Copy !req
1504. Gorgeous. We did it.
Copy !req
1505. No, it's too breasty.
Copy !req
1506. Is it? Okay.
Copy !req
1507. It's not too breasty.
Copy !req
1508. No. I'm not wearing these heels.
I look like a prostitute.
Copy !req
1509. Not high heels, then.
Copy !req
1510. But then we have
the short legs problem.
Copy !req
1511. Well, do you want to look
like a prostitute or a dwarf?
Copy !req
1512. Warning. That's a warning.
Copy !req
1513. Yes!
Copy !req
1514. No.
Copy !req
1515. No!
Copy !req
1516. Now that I like.
Copy !req
1517. No, I'm just
picking up the dress
Copy !req
1518. that this goes under.
Such a bad boy.
Copy !req
1519. This one?
Copy !req
1520. Not bad.
Copy !req
1521. Or this one?
Copy !req
1522. It's a trick question, isn't it?
Same dress. No!
Copy !req
1523. No?
Copy !req
1524. Okay. I don't think
this one's too bad.
Copy !req
1525. Yeah, it's fabulous.
Copy !req
1526. Really? Yeah.
Copy !req
1527. Okay. Great. Good.
Copy !req
1528. Um...
Copy !req
1529. How about the blue one?
Copy !req
1530. The blue one? Yeah.
Copy !req
1531. The first one that you tried
on that was boring and lumpy,
Copy !req
1532. but that wasn't actually
boring and lumpy, that one?
Copy !req
1533. Yeah, which do you prefer?
Copy !req
1534. I don't know. I'm actually
starting to go mad.
Copy !req
1535. I think I like the blue one.
Copy !req
1536. Okay. Yeah.
Copy !req
1537. Okay. Okay, let's go
with this one, then?
Copy !req
1538. You look amazing.
Copy !req
1539. Really? Yes.
Copy !req
1540. Okay, thanks.
Copy !req
1541. God.
Copy !req
1542. Where's Posy?
Copy !req
1543. I left her downstairs.
Copy !req
1544. Not leaving the door open to the
room with the manuscript in it?
Copy !req
1545. I don't think so.
Copy !req
1546. Look at me. Look me in
Copy !req
1547. And talk me through this.
Basically my life is over.
Copy !req
1548. I really need to go out for just
like two minutes, maybe one.
Copy !req
1549. Don't you dare!
Copy !req
1550. Don't you dare answer that!
What am I gonna do?
Copy !req
1551. I think that we should
really answer the phone.
Copy !req
1552. If you answer
the goddamn phone,
Copy !req
1553. I will kill you with the phone.
Copy !req
1554. I won't answer the phone,
but I do need to get out.
Copy !req
1555. No, no getting out,
no getting out. No.
Copy !req
1556. Okay, right.
Copy !req
1557. Sorry, Mr McEwan.
Copy !req
1558. We read most of your book but,
you see, the rest of it was
Copy !req
1559. coloured on or shredded.
Copy !req
1560. Yeah.
Copy !req
1561. I had no idea Posy
actually knew how to use
Copy !req
1562. that machine.
In a way that's impressive.
Copy !req
1563. What is it? How can I help you?
Copy !req
1564. Mary.
Copy !req
1565. No, everything... Sorry.
Copy !req
1566. Your son will explain.
Copy !req
1567. It's your mother.
Copy !req
1568. Hi, Mum.
Copy !req
1569. No, no, it's okay. We'll...
Copy !req
1570. We'll come straight down.
Copy !req
1571. Okay, bye.
Copy !req
1572. Hello, darling.
Copy !req
1573. Mum. How are you?
Copy !req
1574. Honestly?
Copy !req
1575. Why not?
Copy !req
1576. I am fucking furious.
Copy !req
1577. I am so uninterested in
a life without your father.
Copy !req
1578. Mary. Come on,
let's make some tea.
Copy !req
1579. How are you?
Copy !req
1580. Yeah, I'm fine.
Copy !req
1581. Did you eat?
Copy !req
1582. Yes, of course.
Copy !req
1583. Desmond.
Copy !req
1584. How are you?
Copy !req
1585. I'm very well, thanks.
Copy !req
1586. Though a little hot.
Copy !req
1587. Your father,
I think, is not so well.
Copy !req
1588. Cancer.
Copy !req
1589. Yes.
Copy !req
1590. I'm very unhappy about it, Tim.
Copy !req
1591. At your wedding
he said he loved me.
Copy !req
1592. He does. I know.
Copy !req
1593. That was
the best day of my life.
Copy !req
1594. So this is probably the worst.
Copy !req
1595. Dad.
Copy !req
1596. For God's sake.
Copy !req
1597. Not you, too.
Copy !req
1598. What?
Copy !req
1599. Well, Kit Kat's just rolled up blubbing
her eyes out and now you're here.
Copy !req
1600. What's Mum been saying?
Copy !req
1601. The truth.
Copy !req
1602. Yeah, well,
Copy !req
1603. apart from that?
Copy !req
1604. It may have been the
smoking but I couldn't
Copy !req
1605. undo that as it was
before you were all born.
Copy !req
1606. And anyway, your mother definitely
wouldn't have gone out with me
Copy !req
1607. if I hadn't been
such a sexy smoker.
Copy !req
1608. I did get diagnosed as soon as
possible, but it was too late.
Copy !req
1609. How long have we got?
Copy !req
1610. You know, it, it could be years.
Copy !req
1611. How long really?
Copy !req
1612. Weeks, I'm afraid.
Copy !req
1613. Have we had this
conversation before?
Copy !req
1614. Yeah.
Copy !req
1615. What happened?
Copy !req
1616. I rather let myself down.
Copy !req
1617. I hugged you.
Copy !req
1618. Sorry.
Copy !req
1619. I think I just thought
with the time thing...
Copy !req
1620. No, I never said
we could fix things.
Copy !req
1621. I specifically never said that.
Copy !req
1622. Life's a mixed bag,
no matter who you are.
Copy !req
1623. Look at Jesus.
He was the Son of God,
Copy !req
1624. for God's sake, and look
how that turned out.
Copy !req
1625. I know, but
Copy !req
1626. you must see
I feel a bit cheated.
Copy !req
1627. Don't. In fact,
feel the opposite.
Copy !req
1628. The only people who
give up work at 50
Copy !req
1629. are the time travelers
with cancer who want
Copy !req
1630. to play more table tennis
with their sons.
Copy !req
1631. Right.
Copy !req
1632. So that's been the deal?
Copy !req
1633. I'm sorry we had to call.
It's suddenly got very bad.
Copy !req
1634. And I have something very
important to tell you.
Copy !req
1635. Or, let me check,
Copy !req
1636. do you want to
know the big secret,
Copy !req
1637. or would you rather find it
out for yourself like I did?
Copy !req
1638. Christ,
there's another secret?
Copy !req
1639. Less dramatic.
Much more important.
Copy !req
1640. The real mothership.
Copy !req
1641. No, go on. Tell me.
Copy !req
1642. Let's save some time.
Copy !req
1643. And so he told me his
secret formula for happiness.
Copy !req
1644. Part one of the two part plan
Copy !req
1645. was that I should just get on
with ordinary life,
Copy !req
1646. living it day by day,
like anyone else.
Copy !req
1647. This is our current statement with a
revised paragraph there, highlighted.
Copy !req
1648. Rupert. Rupert, is that
the best you can do?
Copy !req
1649. No. Absolutely not.
We can change that.
Copy !req
1650. ltem number two.
Copy !req
1651. Good afternoon, sir. Are you
eating in or taking away today?
Copy !req
1652. Take away, please.
Copy !req
1653. Yeah? No problem.
Copy !req
1654. Lovely, that's 4.24 then, please, sir.
Thank you kindly.
Copy !req
1655. Lovely. And there's your change, sir.
76 pence change.
Copy !req
1656. Thanks. Thank you. Hello there.
Copy !req
1657. Are you eating in
or taking away?
Copy !req
1658. Do you find the Defendant, John
Welbeck, guilty or not guilty of fraud?
Copy !req
1659. Not guilty.
Copy !req
1660. And that is the verdict of you all? Yes.
Thank you. You may be seated.
Copy !req
1661. Thank God.
Copy !req
1662. Let the Defendant
be discharged.
Copy !req
1663. Be upstanding in court.
Copy !req
1664. Lights out? Yeah.
Copy !req
1665. Tough day.
Copy !req
1666. But then came
part two of Dad's plan.
Copy !req
1667. He told me to live every day
again almost exactly the same.
Copy !req
1668. The first time with all the
tensions and worries that
Copy !req
1669. stop us noticing how
sweet the world can be,
Copy !req
1670. but the second time noticing.
Copy !req
1671. Okay, Dad.
Copy !req
1672. Let's give it a go.
Copy !req
1673. What's our statement
at the moment?
Copy !req
1674. This is it with the revised...
Copy !req
1675. Robert, this does not pass.
Is this the best you can do?
Copy !req
1676. I'll leave you two
to thrash this out.
Copy !req
1677. Ooh.
Copy !req
1678. Good afternoon, sir.
Good afternoon.
Copy !req
1679. Are you eating in or taking away today?
Take away, please.
Copy !req
1680. Would you like a bag?
Copy !req
1681. That's fine.
Copy !req
1682. Lovely. That's 6.23 then, please.
And enjoy the rest of your day.
Copy !req
1683. Thank you. Bye-bye.
Copy !req
1684. Hello, there.
Copy !req
1685. Look around you! What?
Copy !req
1686. Isn't this room beautiful?
Copy !req
1687. Yeah.
Copy !req
1688. Come on.
Copy !req
1689. Not guilty.
Copy !req
1690. Fantastic!
Copy !req
1691. So not such
a bad day after all?
Copy !req
1692. No. It was pretty good really.
Copy !req
1693. Very good day, actually,
as it turns out.
Copy !req
1694. Well, that's a relief,
Copy !req
1695. because if it had
been a very bad day,
Copy !req
1696. I thought I might have had to have
had sex with you to make up for it.
Copy !req
1697. Goodnight.
Copy !req
1698. It was a very, very bad day.
Copy !req
1699. It went very, very badly.
Copy !req
1700. I got fired from my job.
Copy !req
1701. And then I killed a man.
Copy !req
1702. That is a very bad day.
Copy !req
1703. It's terrible. Yeah.
Copy !req
1704. Like the worst day ever.
Copy !req
1705. So sorry.
Copy !req
1706. Some days, of course, though,
you only want to go through once.
Copy !req
1707. You okay?
Copy !req
1708. Right, are we ready for this?
Copy !req
1709. 'Course we're not. Hateful day.
Copy !req
1710. Just give me one minute.
Copy !req
1711. This is so brilliant.
Copy !req
1712. Dickens is so good on
actual jokes, actual gags.
Copy !req
1713. Where have you come from?
Copy !req
1714. It's the...
Copy !req
1715. Okay.
Copy !req
1716. Big day.
Copy !req
1717. Thanks for dropping in.
How's Uncle Desmond's suit?
Copy !req
1718. Immaculate.
Copy !req
1719. Excellent.
Copy !req
1720. Did I mention I wanted
the Nick Cave track?
Copy !req
1721. It's taken care of.
Copy !req
1722. Thank you.
Copy !req
1723. Can I just read
you this one bit?
Copy !req
1724. Read away,
I've got lots of time.
Copy !req
1725. ?'l think the Romans
must have aggravated
Copy !req
1726. ?'one another very
much with their noses.
Copy !req
1727. ?'Perhaps they became the restless
people they were in consequence.
Copy !req
1728. ?'Anyhow, Mr Wopsle's Roman
nose so aggravated me...?'
Copy !req
1729. What do you
think about the kids?
Copy !req
1730. What about them?
Copy !req
1731. Not many of them, are there?
Copy !req
1732. What?
Copy !req
1733. Well, I mean two?
Copy !req
1734. It's more than
the Chinese are allowed.
Copy !req
1735. I just thought
that maybe, you know,
Copy !req
1736. it was time for
the insurance baby.
Copy !req
1737. What?
Copy !req
1738. In case one of them
is really smart,
Copy !req
1739. we don't want the other one to
feel stupid their whole life.
Copy !req
1740. And if we had a third one, then
we could have two happy dummies.
Copy !req
1741. What do you think?
Copy !req
1742. It was the toughest
decision of my life.
Copy !req
1743. Saying 'yes' to
the future meant
Copy !req
1744. saying 'goodbye'
to my dad. Forever.
Copy !req
1745. Why don't we wait a bit?
Copy !req
1746. Absolutely.
Copy !req
1747. You're right. Yeah.
Copy !req
1748. How about now?
Copy !req
1749. Or now?
Copy !req
1750. Now?
Copy !req
1751. Yeah,
Copy !req
1752. okay.
Copy !req
1753. Really?
Copy !req
1754. Dad always wished
there had been more of us.
Copy !req
1755. So...
Copy !req
1756. Anyway, we might try
and nothing happens.
Copy !req
1757. Exactly.
Copy !req
1758. Really could be tonight.
Copy !req
1759. And you cannot believe
the detail in which
Copy !req
1760. I know the route
to the hospital.
Copy !req
1761. Yap.
Copy !req
1762. Will you excuse me for a sec?
Copy !req
1763. Just have to go downstairs.
Copy !req
1764. and it's 17-20 in
this incredibly tight contest
Copy !req
1765. being played by
the two most physically
Copy !req
1766. perfect players in
the history of the game.
Copy !req
1767. The crowd, enchanted by the
younger player, are seduced
Copy !req
1768. by memories of the older
player's illustrious past.
Copy !req
1769. My God, I've won.
Copy !req
1770. I haven't won in years.
Copy !req
1771. You finally got good.
Copy !req
1772. What's my prize? Apart from the
Olympic gold medal, of course.
Copy !req
1773. A kiss will have to do.
Copy !req
1774. A kiss?
Copy !req
1775. I get you.
Copy !req
1776. This is it, then?
Copy !req
1777. This is it.
Copy !req
1778. It's my last bit of extra time.
Copy !req
1779. The baby is
completely on the way.
Copy !req
1780. Congratulations.
Copy !req
1781. My son.
Copy !req
1782. My dad.
Copy !req
1783. Is there anything
at all I can do?
Copy !req
1784. Is there anything
you want to do?
Copy !req
1785. I don't know. There is this
Copy !req
1786. one thing.
Copy !req
1787. A quick little walk.
Copy !req
1788. Totally against the rules,
of course,
Copy !req
1789. but if we don't change a thing,
Copy !req
1790. if we're very careful,
it shouldn't do any harm.
Copy !req
1791. It would be nice.
Copy !req
1792. I'm really trying.
I'm really trying.
Copy !req
1793. Get down low.
Copy !req
1794. Total defeat.
Copy !req
1795. I'm tired.
Copy !req
1796. Thanks, Dad.
Copy !req
1797. So I'm almost
up-to-date with my story.
Copy !req
1798. As all families do, we got
used to life after death.
Copy !req
1799. And it was still fine.
Copy !req
1800. And things settled back into their traditional
rhythms season after season,
Copy !req
1801. and are much as
they have always been.
Copy !req
1802. And we've got used to
Kit Kat being happy again.
Copy !req
1803. And then we got used
to her being a mum.
Copy !req
1804. Albeit not a very
good or even safe one.
Copy !req
1805. And in the end,
Copy !req
1806. I think I've learned the final
lesson from my travels in time.
Copy !req
1807. And I've even gone one step
further than my father did.
Copy !req
1808. Okay, I'll do the kids.
Copy !req
1809. No, don't worry. I'll do them.
Copy !req
1810. Yeah, you do them,
you lazy bum.
Copy !req
1811. The truth is, I now
don't travel back at all.
Copy !req
1812. Not even for the day.
Copy !req
1813. I just try to
live every day as if
Copy !req
1814. I've deliberately
come back to this one day
Copy !req
1815. to enjoy it as if it
was the full final day
Copy !req
1816. of my extraordinary,
ordinary life.
Copy !req
1817. Hello, you're down already. That's great.
Thank you so much for that.
Copy !req
1818. And in we go.
Copy !req
1819. Posy? Posy!
Copy !req
1820. That's fine.
Copy !req
1821. We're all travelling
through time together
Copy !req
1822. every day of our lives.
Copy !req
1823. All we can do is do our best
Copy !req
1824. to relish this remarkable ride.
Copy !req
1825. Yes, yes, yes...
Copy !req
1826. Okay, I'll see you then.
Copy !req
1827. Bye-bye.
Copy !req
1828. See you later.
Copy !req
1829. © anoXmous
@ https://thepiratebay.se/user/Zen_Bud
Copy !req