A Star Is Bored (1956)

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Mel Blanc as Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Yosemite Sam, Producer, Director • Arthur Q. Bryan as Elmer Fudd • June Foray as Lolly

United States of America • Animation • Comedy

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1. I'm so glad you stopped in, Loly.

2. Is there anything I can do for yo use?

3. Well, Bugs, the readers of my column

4. would love to hear about your success.

5. Oh, heh, heh, heh. Why would anyone want to read about little old me?

6. Oh, Bugs, you're so modest.

7. What a job for a duck with my talents,

8. pushing a broom while others with absolutely nothing on the ball

9. get all the breaks.

10. Oh, my, it's so nice of you, Loly, but...

11. Eh. Listen to that ham putting it on.

12. Well, I'm willing to do anything my public demands.

13. "Anything my public demands. Anything my public demands."

14. That does it!

15. If a long-eared rabbit can be a star, so can a duck.

16. Yeah. Yeah, I know we need a double on the Bugs Bunny picture

17. but where can I get anyone stupid enough to take the job?

18. Okay, boss, hang up. A star is born and that star is me!

19. I'll call you right back.

20. I... I think I've got a pigeon.

21. Pigeon? I'm not a pigeon. I'm a duck. D-U-K, duck.

22. Loaded with talent.

23. Do card tricks and impersonations,

24. I work at weddings, bar mitzvahs.

25. Have tux, will travel.

26. Report on stage nine, yes, sir.

27. Oh, boy, I could be sent to prison for the scenes I'm gonna steal.

28. - Okay, positions, everybody.

29. We're ready for a take. Camera. Action.

30. What's up, doc?

31. All right, rabbit, say your prayers.

32. I'm a-gonna blast you.

33. Cut. Bring in the double.

34. "I dare you."

35. I dare you. I dare you. I dare you.

36. Double on the set.

37. Double? That's me. Oh, boy.

38. - Here you are, Daff. - Can't cut the mustard, eh?

39. Okay, roll 'em. I know my lines by heart.

40. Eh, what's up, doc?

41. All right, rabbit, say your prayers.

42. I'm gonna blast you.

43. "I dare you."

44. I dare you.

45. Make up!

46. Come on, let's get going. I'm getting blisters on my cottontail.

47. Now, in the next scene, Elmer, you saw off the branch Bugs is sitting on.

48. Saw him down, eh? Hmm.

49. Psst, Elmer.

50. Okay, roll 'em.

51. Remember, Elmer,

52. you're not supposed to cut the limb all the way through.

53. Ha! Goodbye, rabbit. You're gonna be a falling star.

54. Okay, print it.

55. All you have to do here is sit on the dock and fish.

56. Oh, no, you don't.

57. Taking all the soft jobs

58. and leaving the tough ones for me to do, huh?

59. I'll do this one.

60. But, uh, Daffy, I really think I ought to do this scene.

61. Ah-ha! Afraid I'll show up your acting ability, eh?

62. Camera. Action.

63. Ha! What a cinch this scene is.

64. Make up!

65. Camera. Action.

66. Get him. Get him.

67. I got you cornered, you screwy rabbit.

68. Oh, give me that gun.

69. Hmm.

70. Ha!

71. Make up!

72. Take it up to 20,000 feet, Bugs, then go into a dive.

73. "Be sure and check the altimeter with a tachometer.

74. The mechanical horizon will indicate your position."

75. Where is that mechanical horizon?

76. Boy, I can't bear watching this.

77. Cut.

78. Bring in the double.

79. The double?

80. Camera. Action.

81. Make up!

82. I'm through playing stooge to a rabbit.

83. I wanna star in my own picture.

84. Oh, you're in luck.

85. We've just finished a script that calls for a duck.

86. Oh, boy, The Duck starring Daffy Duck. Boy!

87. "I wonder where all the hunters are today."

88. Camera. Action.

89. I wonder where all the hunters are today.

90. I demand to know who wrote this script!

91. I'd like to tell him, but, uh... modesty forbids.